CheapShow - Ep 378: Gob Job

Episode Date: April 5, 2024

Every year Eli races off to Florida to spend time with his family, but he always makes sure he brings back something for the show. This week on CheapShow, Eli has a big bag of bounty filled to the brim with all kinds of snacks, treats and drinks. Maybe too many. It’s a food stuffed episode of CheapShow that has the cheap chaps tackle Buffalo Cheetos, Doritos Dinamita Sticks, Hot Nuts and (sadly for Paul) potted meat. Horrible potted meat. Hopefully the soft drink segment of the podcast will wash away any unpleasantness, as there are three fun sodas to sample. The only downside is that this part of the show allows Paul to make a load more enemies by proclaiming his hate for a particular type of pop! In amongst all the snacking, we get to catch up with TrackBot… Poor old TrackBot! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-378-gob-job And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you want to, follow us on Twitter/X @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid www.thecheapshow.co.uk Now on Threads: @cheapshowpod Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Merch Shop: www.redbubble.com/people/cheapshow/shop www.cheapmag.shop Thanks also to @vorratony for the wonderful, exclusive art: www.tinyurl.com/rbcheapshow Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Is that just something you say? A bit of room tone. Is it something you learn in producer school where they say, right, now it doesn't mean anything, right, but it just means you sort of get control of the room and it's like a psychological tactic. Well, there's two reasons to do it, but the one I'm only using one of those reasons. One is... To annoy me. No, no, no. To annoy me?

No. One is that sometimes if you're on a film set or whatever, on a TV show, you film the background noise before anyone talks. So when you're doing an audio edit, you can mask. I know about that. What do they call that? I can't remember what it's called. A rabbit take. Wild track. Wild track. Wild rabbit. Wild rabbit. You see my connection there?

I do, definitely. Because rabbits to me are very feral in my mind's eye. Okay. But the way I do it is so when I do noise reduction, I can take the bit that we keep silent. So I know that's the bit I can highlight for the new noise reduction and then remove it in the edit to make for a cleaner sound. You could have said something funnier than that. No, no, no.

Here's what I'm gonna do. My bollocks are full of sticky old cum. I want you to have some fun. Give us a hand job. Give us a blow. Give us a hand job. Come on, Eli, bro. Oh no, now you've done it.

Yeah, come on and give me a hand job, Eli. Fucking get your hands down now. Pull on my phone, pull on my tongue. Pull on until it all comes out of your gob. It doesn't come out of your gob. Listen. Give us a hand job Eli mate. I want you to masturbate in my phallic phallic phallic joy.

Come on baby, it's just a toy. OK. Yeah, I've got an oar of my system. Oh. I was wondering who was going to break this week, Paul. Okay. Yeah, I've got an office. I was wondering who was going to break this week. Daddy got him breaking this week. Welcome to cheap show. Press the fucking credits.

Welcome to Cheap Show. Sources and words and phrases. Two things I'm responsible for. Chodney, Chodney Borough. I hate you. I've got to be you as a posse. Cheap Show tonight. I'm going to be the boss. I'm going to be the boss.

I'm going to be the boss. I'm going to be the boss. I'm going to be the boss. I'm going to be borough. I hate you. You're fucking you. It's the voice of shame. Welcome to Cheap Show. Room tone. I've got to for each track.

Do you? Yeah, you do. Yeah. Sometimes you're really emphasizing it today. We know you brought it up. You were the first person to speak and you brought it up. Paul. Paul.

Yeah. Room tone. Imagine that I could use it as a way of. Oh, hello, I'm room tone. Oh, oh, oh, I'm Room Toe. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, I'm Room Toe. Shush everybody. Room Toe.

Yes! Oh, I'm off now. I've done my job. Don't want a blowjob, do you? Yes. Oh. I'm not even prepared for that. Usually people say no to me.

Because the missus, she's on the blob. So could you give me a gob job? Flop blob so could you give me a gob job flop on my knob and give me a gob job oh man missus on the blob i'm gonna give you a big gob job with it you flubble with it you blob with it you flubble come on my gob flub on my knob and give it a go job come, gobb on. Get it all flubbed up. Right, okay, wait, before we get into that, let's just say hello, welcome to Cheap Show, the economy comedy podcast where Eli and I go

for the bargain, the charity shops and power lands of Great Britain and bring you back the stuff we find of interest. Gobb job? Not off. No, not off. Not off. Bachman turn a knob job off.

That's the advert advert isn't it? Two minutes of bus stop, just staring at the newspaper, looking at their photo one goes gob job? Not off. Not off. Gob jobs. A job. A Graxton Industries product.

A gob job. Good you got it in there Paul. Now today is a foodie episode isn't it? We've had a couple of special episodes in a row. We had Knight Bussin, we had Robert Popper, we had the Barshens reunion. Wow, it's been a very active and engaging little three-week span from us. Who are we? Cheap Show? What are we doing today? We are doing Nomadie Goodness that Eli's brought from That There America.

That's right. I was in America. That there America over there. Huddley hey, huddley ho, huddley hey, huddley ho, huddley hey ha. In America, you're a lie, you're a lie, you're a lie, you're a lie, you're a lie, you're a lie, hey. You're a lie, you're a lie, you're a lie, you're a lie, you're a lie, USA. In America. Who sang that, you prick? Come on, Mr. fucking music expert. It is Trackbot. I know all. Oh, hello Trackbot. How are you? I'm well.

That dog... Mucky dog... Mwuh. Mwuh. Mwuh. Mwuh. Mwuh. Mwuh.

Mwuh. Mwuh. He's made my whole living nightmare. Mwuh. Mwuh. Mwuh. Anyway... Okay, Trackbot.

Yes, Trackbot. Who sang that? Did you hear what Paul was singing? I hear all. Could you tell us then, who was the singer of that track, Trackbot, please? That was by Redbox. Redbox. Redbox, I believe is the correct answer. You're quite right, aren't you? No, Trackbot's not meant to get things right, Paul.

I mean, Silla Black. Silla Black. That's betterilla Black. Silla Black. That's better, yeah. Silla Black sang America. Well, when you say that sentence, any sentence that starts Silla Black sang is incorrect already, isn't it? It's almost an oxymoron, isn't it? It's an oxymoron, Paul.

I'm trying to say Silla Black, not very good singer. She really isn't, wasn't. It's something that I've only realised the older I get. She sounds like a hairblower. When I hear her voice, my ears tighten like an arsehole. Yeah, it's shrill. Step inside, love. Now, I was in America.

Now I've got a little tell from the Stateside dance floor. Oh, International Edition. Just a little anecdote here, Paul. Oh, please. Because it was my birthday, it's March the 16th. I was out for my birthday. And of course. Related happy birthday to you.

Thank you. The day after. 52 today? Yeah. Shaving off a couple of... Shaving off a bit of a gob job. You've started it now. I haven't started it.

I'm going to call this episode gob job. You just know it now. I was going through my head when I was sleeping. What, a gob job? Yeah. And I was, the other one was manje mon flange. That's not as good. Come on manje on the flange.

Gob job is punchier. Gob job. Gob job. They must, that must be a synonym for blow job though. I'm presuming so. Gizzard gob job. Gizzard gobby. Gizzard gobby.

Yeah. Well that's what they used to say, gizzard gobble. Remember? Gobble? Gobble used to be all the rage back in the day. No, it's always been a blow. Or I met this bird, she gave me a gobble. No, I find it quite interesting actually on a linguistic level because gobb, a gobb

job, is more descriptive. You do the job with your gobb, right? But blow has always been this weird thing that you shouldn't blow, there's no blowing. No, there's no blowing involved. And yet it's become the common parlance for fellatio. Both ways, both ways though. Isn't it? Why don't we call Cunnilingus a blowjob? They don't never call that a blowjob, do they? No, what is the common parlance for that? Lick is someone out. No, yeah, well I guess it is.

Lappy, lappy. Anyway, I didn't want to get into this. That's what she said. And funny enough, that links to the little anecdote I was going to tell. Well, I'm looking forward to it. Go ahead. So, St. Patrick's Day is always traditionally the day after my birthday, March 16th. So my sister, who I was staying with, neighbours, were having a St. Patrick's Day

party in their house. Okay. McMansion style place. Right. Just across the road from where my sister's place is. So it was decked in green. They really went to town. It's like a retired firefighter. Oh, okay. And she's an ex cop or she's like an active cop. And together they're solving crime. Yeah, they're from New York. They're very like... Well, this is already beginning to make sense. What I'm saying is St. Patrick's Day is a big thing in New York, right? And it's a big thing to people of Irish heritage.

Anyway, if it's just the day after I get there, I'm pissed up or whatever. Two days the night before, really pissed. Doesn't sound like you. I was making cocktails out there. This is what I traditionally have got into this thing of doing. You're the cocktail man. I did what my sister wanted, cosmos. Oh, okay. Have you ever made a cosmos? No, nor had one to be fair. They're really good. You think you sort of imagine it to be some kind of sugary, really sort of sickly sweet kind of thing. It's not at all. There's no simple

syrup in it. It just has the only thing that gives it sweetness is the Contreaux, which is quite dry as triple secs go, and also the cranberry juice itself, which is just cranberry juice. It's not a concentrate. Anyway, so I've had a few cosmos the night before, whatever, we've been hitting it hard. It's holiday time. Yeah, that was fun. And it's your birthday. We have to go to this party and you have to wear something green right? Yeah, so you would just sickle down yourself. I was got there and I've got this green thing but it's a jumper and it's unseasonably hot even for Florida when I was out there was like 30 up in the high 20s. Oh really sweaty and unpleasent. Sorry, I'm just a bit bilious right now. Anyway, so I get over there right? Yeah. And we're out in the back garden, it's nice they've got

they've put on a corn beef, what they call corn beef, which is what we'd call salt beef here. Okay. Corn beef slices of it, you know? Yeah. And cabbage. And we had a plate of that. It was very good. Nice. But it was a bunch of white people in this party. It wasn't right. I couldn't, you know, hung over and I was like, anyway, go out in the back garden. My sister's mate comes out, who's this nutcase woman called Kim. And she's like, I'm like, I'm too hot. I'm going to have to take this top off. And I've got like a vest, black vest on underneath.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Get it off. Yeah. Got that guinea tee underneath. She referred to the vest as a guinea tee. What does that even mean?

Is that a phrase? I've not heard of that. You know, they call them wife beaters. Yeah. The diodes. But a guinea tee. Guinea does that even mean? Is that a phrase? I've not heard of that. You know they call them wife beaters? Yeah, the die-hard dress. But a guinea tee. Guinea is slang for Italian, isn't it? So it's a guinea tee shirt, an Italian tee shirt. Right, okay.

And she's like, get that guinea tee off! She was like getting really aggressive. I hadn't even met her, this woman yet. And she was just all up in your grill? Yeah. And then no everyone for the rest of the holiday was going on about how I should have done her. Oh god.

Get that guinea tee off! everyone for the rest of the holiday was going on about how I should have done her. Oh god. Get out of here! She's apparently also a serving firefighter or something. Oh, all right. And her husband is there. Apparently she gets other people. Yeah, I should have done that. That sounds like a mentally healthy thing. That would have been a good thing to do, you know. Yeah, no. Is that it?

Oh yeah, there was a band. They've gone to no expense spared on this party. They've gone to no, they've gone to no expense. Expenses have gone to no expense spared on this party. They've gone to no non- they've gone to no expense. Expenses had gone to no expenses spared. Expenses had been spent on this. What I'm saying to expenses going to, weren't there going to. They were there and they all went. Spare expenses, expenses. Right.

Focus. There was lots of booze. There's a full spread, a big spread of food. Right. And booze, full bar there, you know. That's like when I come in a sheep. But they got a band as well. That's a full bar, isn't it?

They got a band with these ancient guys setting up next to the pool. I'm regretting saying that. What? I said about coming in a sheep. In a sheep? It was a full bar. So what, we moved on. A full bar. So what, we moved on? We moved on?

A full band! Good! Anyway, there was a band and there were all these ancient people. Turns out they'd just... Sorry. They'd hired them from... not from a band. Coming in a band, yeah? Anyway... And they were like a pub band that they'd hired, ancient people. What do you think their first tune they did was?

Think American jukebox sort of... I know, but I'm thinking it either goes something like the fairy tale of New York. They did do that eventually. Or jump around by fucking... They didn't do that. Think more 80s. Oh, come on Eileen. Addicted to Love was the first song they played.

That's a strange choice, isn't it? Yeah. I mean, it's a great song. I'm not complaining about it. Anyway, I had to duck out of the party. I just thought you were going to say they were going to do something really Irish, awkwardly Irish. No, because I don't think they were particularly Irish. They were just a band that the woman had seen in a blues bar or something a few weeks ago.

I just thought. How much would it be? And she apparently paid $1,500. For a full band, they played for at least two hours. And they got free drinks probably, didn't they? Yeah. Yeah, so they were right. They were right. Which one did you give a gob off to?

What gob job? Everyone's like, you should have boned that Kim. No. It's just like, her husband was there. I hadn't met the woman and she was like, get it off! Come on, get it off! What you got down there? Give me tea! But the husband, is he like, like just broken?

He just stands on the corner staring? Apparently, yes. Oh, this is tragic. You don't want to get involved in that, do you? Paul, I did also... It's not for you, is it? You don't want to be up to your nuts in a lady you don't know who's got a husband downstairs. Okay, there's a lot of reasons I didn't want to get with Kim, okay?

Was she not very attractive? No, she was fine looking. Oh, well, is she sexy? A blonde white woman. Okay. Apparently, she'd had a bit of upholstery. Boob job. Oh dear. Probably around'd had a bit of upholstery. Probably around my age as well, let's be honest.

52, 53. I'm not 52, you can't. 49. Oh dear. You've been doing this podcast most of your 40s. What a strange thing. At least I can say I straddled my 30s with this. I straddled my 30s. Oh. Sorry.

Yeah, there's several reasons. First, I hadn't met her and she's got to get off, get your top off. I hadn't met the woman. Yeah. I'm like hung over. It's at a party the middle of the day. Well, I'm glad you showed restraint. Her husband's there and then was like, you should have pound her. Where was I going to do it in the fucking Everglades? In front of the band. In the pool like that. With the band playing up there. Watch out for a snapper. There's a gator in the water. She's got a big snapper. A big snapper. Did she just crack on? Yeah was that all right? Yeah that was all right. Okay I don't know if we need applause but it was something that happened to me. Apologies to anyone who might be listening who was affected. And I'm just Apologies to anyone who might be listening who was affected.

And I'm just going to apologize to anyone who might be listening. Well done. Gob job. It's not an easy out. It is. It's a very disappointing and unfortunate out. That's what Kim would have said afterwards if you'd given her a gobble, wouldn't you? I've ruined this. I'm pulling out. I'm pressing stop.

Okay. Lovely bit of sound tone there. Oh, hello. I'm Room Tone. What are you doing? Lurking around. I've got to be here for every track. Have you been in TrackBot? I went in TrackBot. Oh, yes. I went in TrackBot. You went in TrackBot. Hasn't he suffered enough?

I went in and I fiddled with his wires. Go scurry off. TrackBot is not a sexbot. It certainly seems like you are. Covered in dog jelly. Alright Trackbot, what about this? Dirty dog jelly. Whose song?

Yes. Whose song? Bidibidibidibidi. It's close to the mic. Are you doing some calculation? Bidibidibidi. Who, who sung holiday in the 80s? Female singer. Ah, Trackbot will reveal all.

The answer is Russ Abbott. Russ Abbott, very good. Russ Abbott. Get back in there. Get in the cupboard, you need charging. The door sticky. I know, I'm not dealing with that. Why won't somebody clean my mucky pod? Alright, listen.

My mucky pod! Oh poor trackbot. What were you saying? Oh I've, I had a wank in there as well. Fucking room tone. I had a wank in there as well. Everyone does it though. I know they do.

Everyone goes in there for a wank. Everyone does. Poor trackbot! Oh god. Oh dear. He's a Bukarake bot isn't he. Now. Sorry. I'm sorry as well. I'm sorry everyone. We're both sorry. It's been actually really tiring for both of us I think. We've both been working the last four days straight. Four days straight everybody. At the cold face. I did four nights DJing with the drinking that entails. And I did four nights producing radio.

I'm trying to be all rock and roll, aren't I? Did you have a bottle of vodka on the go all the time? No, I don't. Don't you? No, I can't be wrong. Three bottles of vodka under the four bottles. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So before we start the tasting, Paul,

I do need to say thank you very much to my sister-in-law, Emma, who's married to my brother. Emma, can you please, all just aside, can you stop sending me suggestive messages on Instagram direct message? That was a misunderstanding. Because that is just going, I mean, and it's nice that you get in touch and you say hello every now and then, but what you sent was, I thought, morally objectionable. It was an aubergine. Didn't look like one. Okay, anyway, thank you Emma and Solly, my nephew, for sorting a great deal of what we're going to taste today. They went out and got it and thanks very much. Thank you very much. So you have a lot of stuff and we have picked some of it for

today because there, as I say, quite a lot and we can save, you know, the rest for another episode. We're going to do a savoury, crisp type, snack type things today. We're keeping it savoury everyone. And some soda at the end, some interesting soda. Because we have to race through quite a lot, let's crack on. No more fucking about what is won. The first one which really did attract my attention is something I haven't seen available here in the UK, Paul. No. Doritos dynamite sticks hot honey mustard.

It's dynamite. And this has a hot dynamite which tells you how hot it is there. Dynamite sticks, hot honey mustard. Miss Dynamite. And this has a hot dynamite, which tells you how hot it is there. Yeah. In the medium, which isn't great. So I looked at the front cover of the pack. Front cover of the pack. The front cover of the pack.

The front of the pack. And it looks like what we would call in this country, chip sticks. Yes, but I, but chip sticks are puffed potato. Yes. And this is a corn. Doritos is a corn based product. This has to be more like a...

I was going to say Monster Munch, but that's not true either. Is Monster Munch puffed potato? No, that's corn. Oh, so it might be more like a... More like a Monster Munch chip stick. That's what we're looking at here, people. And the flavor again is what? Sorry? Hot honey mustard.

And it has a little depiction of a mustard in a little pot. But there's one of those honey spindles. What are they called? Don't know actually. Honey dippers. It's one of these you know. What? Noblet? It looks like a hive. It does look a bit like a hive. That's what I always thought the point was.

It's a spurdle or something isn't it? It's a honey spurdle I'm sure. Honey spoon maybe. Might just be called a honey spoon. Might be. Anyway I'm going to get the huff off this. The huff's going on. Oh, vinegary I'm sure. Honey spoon maybe, might just be called a honey spoon. Might be. Anyway, I'm gonna get the huff off this. The huffs going on. Oh, vinegary I'm getting. So I'm thinking in my head it should be sweet and hot.

Oh dear, the smell's not easy to put. It's crunchy sticks. Taking the flavor away. Exploding with tangy mustard flavor and a hot honey kick. Come on. What's hot honey kick mean? Well, that's what I was gonna say as well. I don't think hot mustard is shit.

Hot mustard is like an American category, isn't it? I guess. You don't refer to something as hot mustard here. It's just English mustard or... It smells almost like balsamic vinegar, weirdly. Yes, it has a vinegar smell. Let's get these in. Oh, they're much thinner than I thought.

They're flatter little ribbon things. Yeah, I like the shape. Oh, oh, they've got a little bit of mustard bite, like a hot mustard bite to them more than I was expecting. I can't really taste any honey, but there's a lemony-ness to it that I really like. Oh, man. That's actually really nice. Those are much better than I thought. Yes. Wow. I'm going back.

Surprisingly tasty, though. Those are good. Oh, what do you want to give them out of five? I'll give it four point two, two, two or three. Four point two or three. Now, four point two or three or three point two or three. We've got a Cheetos. Wait. Four point two or three or three point two or three. Four point two three. So it's four point two. Okay, well, I won't be doing that. I'll be giving it a flat four.

Okay, very good. Nice. But I think we both can say we were surprised. Yeah. Pleasantly surprised. Yeah. Now the Doritos. Some people may be asking, why isn't this going into the Snack Palace? Well, the honest answer is we can't be fucked. So we're just going to eat some snacks this week without the whole pantomime behind it. And also the Snack Palace is for more mate because it's replacing the segment, which was the League

of crisps and snacks or whatever which was destroyed. It's deep lore that. Now the next item is Cheetos. We've done a lot of these before on the show. All the very big brand worldwide. In fact they're musk-ot, Chesters. There's a whole brand called Chesters weirdly. Muck-scot? What did you say? They're muck-scot? Muck-? What did you say? Muck Scott? Muck Scott? Alright, okay. I thought you said Muck Scott. Hello, I'm Muck Scott.

No, Muck Scott sounds like muck bang. It sounds like some kind of filthy internet porn thing. Like a porn Scottishman? Yes. Muck bang! Muck Scott. Hello, I'm Muck Scott and I love it when you... Muck, I'm fucking muck. Splog, splog. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. We get it, go on. Splog off. So these are Cheetos, crunchy Cheetos.

Buffalo flavour. Now, can you be in a buffalo stance for me right now? Ooh, ooh, nice. Pleasing. There's a milkiness but a vinegaryness. I think that's what buffalo is, is much more vinegary. You're quite prone to a buffalo seasoning aren't you though? I like buffalo seasoning. Which is not a euphemism. I do, I like a buffalo seasoning. Don't you like a classic chicken wing? No, like those pretzel bits that were buffalo. I love those, yes, Snyders. They discontinued those. Is this a different type

of buffalo sauce then? Because that looks red and in my head I'm thinking blue, but that's not right is it? No, the original buffalo chicken wings, it's very vinegary and spicy, but the main note is vinegar. Okay. And it's traditionally, isn't it, served with blue cheese dip. Oh, that's why I'm thinking that, yeah, yeah. And celery, you know, those traditional buffalo. Yeah, well, let's. And it's because it was invented in Buffalo. Let's give them a go. All right.

Get those away from me. They're all right, but they're not particularly remarkable. It feels like I've had them before. To me, they taste like a cheesier Red Hot. Or what's that? Yeah, that's it. They're just a cheesier Red Hot.

I can't really taste any buffalo there. It's subtle, but I think it's a nicer, for me, that's tastier than just a straight up red hot one. Yeah, I agree with that. You know, because it's got more going on. It's got that kind of cheesiness. Yeah, the cheesiness offsets the heat somewhat and makes it mulchy. Yes, you know, gives it two, two ends to the flavour, you know?

Because in the UK, the closest proximity to this in terms of texture is a knickknack, right? I'd imagine that's accurate to say. Yeah, and now they're doing red-hot... Knick-knacks? Well, they're doing What's It's red-hot, aren't they? Flaming Hot is its own brand within... Yes, it's a thing within itself now.

It's so weird. It's like saying Cheese and Onion almost. You just slap Flaming Hot on. But it's as if Cheese and Onion would actually had a brand identity of itself. Yeah. Oh, didn't we have this discussion on Twitter about Takis and outgoing... Thaties and I was trying to say, and we're going to need to taste these. What's it do? Crunchy what sits hot, essentially Cheetos. And they're doing flaming hot branded crunchy what sits, which should be just exactly the same as a Cheeto essentially. They're

in as the remorseful Cheeto, but I've not seen them in the one. I'm going to pick some up there in that shop across the road for me. We need to do them. Don't we? Yeah. I mean we need to cover ongoing crisp development I mean, that's what we're here for fucking apparently. Hey, can I get a score for the Cheetos crunchy buffalo? I'm sorry. It's fine. I thought they're very tasty. I mean if that's a market, I mean that's well Here's the thing. They're all crossing streams now. So everyone's in each other's pockets in terms of their brand identities So it's like is that gonna be any different from the like, is that going to be any different from the What's it is that going to be any different from this? You know what I mean?

It's that the Dorito dynamite, a hot honey mustard stood out. Yeah, no, I'll give you that. I had something of of like Brannigan's of old. Yes. With their mustard one, it has some actual heat, some heat, some horse radish, he's sulfurous heat, which I go for. Right. What's that then?

Another crisp we got here, this is Lay's, also known as Walker's in the UK. Yes. And they are hugely dominant in the worldwide crisp market, I'd say. They are the Hasbro of snacks. They certainly are. They certainly are. And I think they're owned by Pepsi or one of those. It's all very confusing. What they call brands. Multi conglomerate. Call brands or something they're called. I don't know. Fuck them. Fucking come for me Pepsi. Come on Pepsi you big fucking cunt. Actually I like Pepsi.

Do you know what I was thinking? I used to think I did. I don't. I like Pepsi, Max, Cherry. Cunt. What the fuck? That's a cunt talk. It's not cunt talk.

I mean, I know, right, I'm sorry. Fucking Cherry, Diet, Pepsi, Max, whatever. Fuck off. I know you object but do you know what I saw? I'm out of fist fighting with the street over this. Do you remember that cocktail I made? Cork speak. The Keith's Witch Hold fashioned.

Yes. Which utilized syrup. I used a Dr. Pepper cherry and mixed with vanilla float syrup. I can see in Ryman's, they've got all those soda stream syrups. Do you know what they have there? Dr. Pepper.

No. Diet, cherry, pepper. Pepsi, Max, cherry. Anyway, I could know what they have there? Dr Pepper. No. Diet Cherry Pepper. Pepsi Max Cherry. Anyway, I could use that and make a hot witch hole fashion with that. I'll fucking outspit in your face. You will not spit anywhere. I'll pinch your nose and spit down your throat mate. Oh yeah?

Yeah? Gob in my gobb. Gob in my gobb? Yeah. And get it full of flob and then I'll fucking give you a gobb job. I'll give you a Cherry Max mate, that's what I'll call it. Put all your gobb in your hand and lob. Yeah, you know what? When you a gob job. I'll give you a cherry max mate, that's what I'll call it. Pull your gob in your hand and lob. Yeah, you know what?

Why do you fucking do that? When you're, I literally saw your brain like getting the way of that sentence. Oh, it was terrible. Really bad work from you there, Eli. Anyway, I'm just gonna hit on the record say, I fucking hate the concept of people liking Pepsi cherry math, is something fucking wrong with it?

There are layers of horrible It's Pepsi so it's gross It's off cherry I don't like normal Pepsi It's Max so it's gross It's all fucking aspartame It tastes good to me It tastes best

It's like saying oh my favourite type of water is bottle sewer water No it's not No it is like saying that No it's not I like an inferior version of a quite nice flavoured thing Alright Well we've got drinks coming up later in the show everybody No, it is like saying that. No, it's not. I like an inferior version of a quite nice flavoured thing. All right. Well, we've got drinks coming up later in the show, everybody. Any one of them has got the fucking word Max in.

You're getting a fucking punch in the mouth. It does not. You know what we're doing, Paul. No, I don't know nothing. Now, this is a flavour called a Doe Badass. Oh, mate, I overreacted with the Pepsi. You really did. Calm down, man. I just don't get it. I've had it. Millions of people enjoy Pepsi Max cherry. Not just don't get it. I've had it.

Millions of people enjoy Pepsi Max Cherry. Not in a cultish way. It seems like a cult. Not like it's the best thing in their lives. It's like an edgelord choice for a drink. It's not an edge. It just is good. It just feels like an edgelord thing to say.

As far as sugar-free things go. Look at me, look at me. I like diet Pepsi fucking Max Cherry or whatever it is. Fuck me. I'm interested. Paul, whether you like it or not. Don't I go against the grain? Fuck off. Whether you like it or not. Then I go against the grain. Fuck off. Whether you like it or not.

Oh, now I overreacted to that. Pepsi Max cherry represents a milestone in sugar-free drink achievements of our culture. I think it's a generation of people settling for less. Now, are you ready to do these crisps? I guess so. Adobadas. That's what it says on the front,

but I don't know what that means. These are, they look slightly reddish from the front cover artwork. There's a chili there, there is a lime there, and there is a tomato there. So is abodas- And there seems to be some sort of spicy, herby, like sesame seeds or something in the background.

So my question is, is that a type of sauce flavor that it's saying? It must be. I haven't looked into it. Oh, it's a dish. Yes. And it is common for Mexican cuisine. Mexican, right. It's genuinely a pork marinated in red chili sauce with vinegar and oregano,

but it can refer to different types of meat and to marinade closer to el pastor, which I don't know what that is. It is genuinely served, generally served, it is served on small, amazed tortilla alongside sauteed vegetables and cheese. So it seems like it is a kind of seasoning for pork. Yes. Now I'm interested.

It says smoky, spiky, crispy, delicio on the back. So let's get the huff on here. Get the huff on. They smell just like fucking Doritos chili max. Yeah, yeah, it smells exactly like that. Or like one of those sensations. Yeah, you know, like circa 1990s British chili crisps. Actually, you know what it's, oh, hang on, it does smell like something particular. Oh, that's gonna bug me. Hang on. I can't remember where that was, but that's a very particular smell I'm getting from that. It's the smell of chilli flavored fucking... what are they called? It flashed in my brain though. What's the big ridged brand? Yeah yeah yeah Max flavour Max,

Max flavour what are they called? Roysters. No don't do Roysters no more. Pepsi Max. What's that Chris brand McCoys? McCoys, yeah, it's a McCoys. They smell like chilli McCoys. Yeah, yeah. Don't they? Exactly like that. Yeah. Damn, chilli McCoys. These are quite red, they've got quite a complexion. I'm eating them now. Um, okay. Quite vinegary. Very vinegary, actually. They do have a tomato flavour on the back of the palate, which is, I don't know if that's altogether pleasant. I'm just getting chilli and vinegar. Yeah. No, really. Think deeper deeper into the tongue. There's a sort of tomatoey. Yeah. Plough deeper in your

mind into the tongue. I might put a big nice plum tomato and then it's a sort of deep in my tongue. There's a savoury tomatoeyness at the back. I don't mind those. You know what they remind me of as well? What? In Asian shops in London, you can often get chili and lemon flavored potato crisps. Yes. And they have that kind of chili with the tartness of the citrus combo. The thing is, that and those Doritos snacks we had at the first have a very similar kind of vinegary lime aftertaste to them. However, that works better for some reason to me. He's pointing at the Doritos dynamite pointing at the Doritos they taste they

that that vinegary note at the end that lemony fresh note the end works better with that flavor profile than here fine I did not hate the that nor I had a badass I didn't hate it that's a three for me but I don't think I could finish a pack of that I could definitely I like those I like them they did feel like a little bit stale I didn't notice I didn't notice. I was fine with them. I was fine with them. Okay. Do you, um, should we have one more? One more and then we're going to move on to nuts. Uh, surprise crisps. These aren't from America at all. Did you give a number to that last crisp? I said 3.2.

Oh, he's going to be a bit higher. I'd say that. These are Japan's number one spicy snack brand, Karamucho. Spicy and tasty hot chili. This would be a real comparison against the American. Oh yes, I guess. This is Japanese crisps. So it's similar flavor to the last one we just had then. Yeah. Spicy, tasty, just hot.

It's just a hot flavor. Hot crisp. Generic hot flavor. I think these are going to be much sweeter. That's my prediction. What do you think? Uh, yes, but I was going to say, this says medium on the dynameter, which I fucking hate that phrase, dynameter, but that heat was, I don't know, nicer. It's not a chilly heat. It's a sulfur to a mustard heat.

Which is what is impressive. Okay. Right, so, can we get a half on these? Caramucho. Can you do the fandango from the Bolt of Lightning? Very, very frightening me. Karamucho, Karamucho, Karamucho. These are ridged.

Karamucho, can you let me go? Hello. I'm just a small crisp, no one will eat me. I'm just a little boy. Put me in your mouth and crunch me all around. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. I'm dancing on my tippy toes with the crescent moon Do you not know the song? Why do you not know?

I'm expanding on the cannon Don't expand on Queen Do you want to eat this fucking crisp or not? I know I want to sing a crisp bass version of Bohemian Rhapsody No, well no one else wants that Caroboja let me go, let me go Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom Oh mama mia mama mia Put a crispy in my mouth! Be

owzy bum! Had to watch it for a tongue! How's that? Watch it for a tongue? Oh! Kind of beefy! They do have a beef... Sorry. He's talking about the Caramacho of everyone. I nearly, no. You nearly inhaled a crisp. No, I nearly blew a big snot into the bag. But I didn't. Good. But I am an impotent... You need to wipe that.

Okay, should we have a little pause, Paul? No, it's alright. Do you have a snot? It's alright. It's gone back in. I'm very sorry. Everyone's tired. We're alright.

The crisps are unsullied. I hope you're enjoying the show so far. Me? I'm alright. I'm having a good time. No, I'm not. I hope you're enjoying the show so far. Me? I'm all right. No, I'm not. I hope you're hating it. Oh, no, I'm having a good time. Here we go.

Oh God, they're so sweet. Mm, yeah. There's no spice. Absolutely not. Maybe we've been deconditioned. No, they're too sweet. They're almost like tomato-y sweet. Yeah, there's a slight amount of spice right at the end.

I'm not getting it. I mean, a little bit, like kind of an afterglow. Yeah, there's a little afterglow. Not unpleasant. No. They're quite nice. Plain. Bit too sweet for me and yeah, a bit too plain.

A bit too sweet. So, do you want to press the button and we'll... No, you don't have to say it. I was just going to hide it in the edit. Now that you've said press the button, now everyone knows I'm going to... Get room-torn out of the cupboard. Oh, hello. He's such a dick. Hello. Hello, Eli. How now everyone knows I'm gonna screw you. Get room thrown out of the cupboard! Oh hello. He's such a dick.

Hello. Hello Eli, how are you? I'm okay. Oh, oh. Shh, shh, shh. Oh, I like it. Okay good. That's what he does, I like it. Yeah that's all.

Just a little bit, I bring a little bit of calm. Carkey's hot nuts. No wait, I've gotta press the fucking button! Right. Eli! Show me your nuts! Wait, I've gotta press the fucking button! Right. Eli! Show me your nuts! You sound like Jimbo then.

Clownin'. Ping pong. Again, I didn't joke that day. Like 99.9% of the people won't know the reference to. Oh! Peanut! I mean, it's not really good when we try it. It just... even we can't magic up that gift he had. Let's start, Paul. Oh, you want to start with that with a liquid mess.

Do why don't you want to start with the nuts because I've had too much dry stuff. I want some fucking liquid mess. Oh, explain what's about to happen. We've had products from these people before. These are armor, which appear to be a really cheap meat company from the States. And this is potted meat. I just don't. It's America's favorite, Paul. So, you know, 360 million people can't be wrong. OK, so when things say American favorites,

it's such an off putting statement. What do you think about Britain's favorite? That's an off putting statement as well. If it said John, John Ganty's's favourite from the road? John Ganty? Hello, John Ganty! John Ganty? I'm fine with it, I trust John. I do a lot of food recommendations. John, John, I've been told to get some crispy Finnish pancakes from Iceland.

Oh, I've been hearing bad things about them. Yeah. Yeah, there's a word out there, you know, he ain't so crispy. Because Alan told me they were fine. Alan who? Alan Alan. Alan Alan? Yeah.

I'm John Gunty, Food and Drug. See you later, John Gunty. All right, I'm off. Oh, I like his getting his food recommendations. This is Potted Meat, Paul. Oh, I should have asked him about that new pizza from Pizza Hut. Listen. Oh, shit. This is potted meat Paul. Oh I should have asked him about that new pizza from Pizza Hut. Listen, no amount of procrastinating character play is going to stop me from spooning this

into your gob. So, it's potted meat, what do you want? We've had salted, it's like that deviled ham. What does potted meat mean? Put some meat in a pot. Is that it? It just means meat. I'm fucking starving, what have we got?

What's the etymology of potted meat? I bet it goes back to like the frontier days. I'm gonna look up potted meat. It's America's favourite after all. Yeah, but you know, that doesn't say much. Sorry, I'm not like I'm being a bit anti-American today, but actually, it's just, I just don't like those kind of phrases. They're so generic and broad and they mean fucking nothing.

Yeah, it's bullshit. It's just like a lazy way of selling something. Hopefully it's not bullshit. You don't know what's gonna be in it. It's fucking tits and beaks, innit? I think it's bullshit. It's just like a lazy way of selling something. Hopefully it's not bullshit. You don't know what's going to be in it. It's fucking tits and beaks, isn't it? I think it's beef. Potted meat is a form of traditional food preservation in which hot cooked meat is placed in a pot tightly packed to exclude air and then covered in hot fat.

As the fat cools it hardens. It does harden. And performs an airtight seal. It's not the only thing that hardens here, Paul. Preventing some spoilage. Please, could you start from the top? Actually, start from the top. It's not the only thing that hardens here Paul. Please could you start from the top actually, start from the top, I'm loving this press meat. Let me do it again.

Yeah. Potted meat is a form of traditional food preservation in which hot cooked meat is placed in a pot tightly packed to. Tightly packed to exclude air. Crispy onions. Covered in hot. Fucking this is a dick! Fat! What happens to the fat?

As the fat cools it hardens. Oh no that's it! And forms an airtight seal. Oh! Preventing spoilage. I'm opening this. Oh I can't prevent spoilage. Soap.

Oh! I'm just not... Oh the spoilage. I'm opening this. Oh, I can't prevent spoilage. So... Oh, oh, oh, just not... Oh, it's the spoilage. There's a... Randy, dog's getting involved too. Oh, no. Trackbot's pod is a fucking nightmare. Why? Well, that dog spunked everywhere, Paul.

Why is my pod full of sticky cobwebs? Oh, Trackbot. Turn Trackbot off. Oh. Power down, Trackbot. Oh, I'll turn him off. Oh, fucking room tone as well. I'm going in his pod. I'm opening this and we're having it. Wait, before the days of refrigeration, potted meat was developed as a way to preserve meat. Yes. From when a fleshly, freshly slaughtered animal could not be eaten fully immediately. Of course, and some of it must be delicious.

There's certain forms of more artisanal or farmyard based stuff I still enjoy. For example, Paul, I recently bought from M&S tongue in a can. It's so good. Mate. It's so good. You should eat all the animals if you eat animals. No, I agree. That's how we used to do it.

Eat the tongue. Have you never had a tongue sandwich? It's great. Tongue is good if you eat animals. No I ain't going to, that's how we used to do it. Eat the tongue. Have you never had a tongue sandwich? It's great, tongue is good if you eat meat. Anyway listen it says even on the wiki page it mentions this brand. It says Armored Star potted meat contains mechanically separated chicken and pork, water, salt and less than 2% mustard. Oh my god this sounds so bad. Chicken and pork mechanically recovered. Let's just get it over and done with. Yeah. Do you want to be present at the opening of the can?

I don't really want to be present for the duration of this. I want you to think you should get the fresh whiff as the meat juice. Great, yeah, let's do that. Let's just do that. Oh, smells of cat food. Oh, it smells of cat food. Oh, it so does.

Oh, it so does. Oh, that's such a cat foodie thong. It's like tuna. Oh, mate, look at it. Look at it. Oh, it's like mood slime. I'm going to have a little bit because I hate this shit. I'm handing him a spoon. I've got some. You ready? Happy with that amount before you fucking shit a sparky?

I think this is going to be extremely salty. That's going to be my prediction. Oh mate, it smells like spamming cat food. Get it down, yeah. One, two, three. Fuck. It's fucking hurt. That is really one of the worst things I've ever had in my life. Oh god.

That is really one of the worst things I've ever had in my life. That is unholy. Yeah, it really is. I thought it was going to be texturous, but it just dissolves. It's like wet sand. It's pure mulch. Yeah, it's like wet meat sand. Yeah.

I don't see no fucking melted fat around that. I thought it was going to be more solid. That is so bad. I'm not going to have a single bit more of that. Cut to later on tonight when he's finished the fucking pot. Like that with my finger. Like licking it out. Yeah, after I had a go on the vape, Jesus. Get the nuts out quick. We've got two types of nuts. Tarkies, everyone's heard of that over here. Yes. They're old news.

And I like to think we brought them to the attention of the British public on this podcast. Yes. And obviously we have been discussing, as you mentioned earlier, Paul. So salty. That Tarkis are bringing out just a cheese one, like compete with Doritos. And with Cheetos to a certain extent and having just cheesy ones. Because I'm sure Doritos have tried to copy Tarkis. Tark point was they were really chili spicy but they also had a real tartness and that tartness is what made you go back. And a lemony-ness to them. Yeah that's what I mean.

These are Tarkeys hot nuts, flair, chili pepper and lime, double crunch peanuts. So these are coated peanuts. These meat, that meat is giving me the shivers. It's giving me like the shivers. Not a lot of water. No, it's alright. It's mostly gone, mate. It's fine. I know, it's really bad stuff. Just quickly empty your nuts into my mouth and that'll be alright. Gob job?

Gob job? Not off. Peanutty smell coming off. Yeah. I imagine, oh mate, you know what was great? The Tarky meat, the Tarky Slim Jims. Oh! I demolish.

Did we have them on the pot? Yeah, and I ate about eight at once. I fucking love those. Mate, why can't you open the nuts? I've been watching you struggle for like three minutes now. I'm handing them over. I'm admitting defeat. He's going to use his teeth.

That's acceptable to make a little incision. And he seems to have successfully accessed the Tarky's... Oh they're bright, well bright red stroke almost orange. Well they're coated, I'm looking for some crunch and I'm looking for that trademark Tarki... Chili pepper lime, eh? Let's see how this one... A little more crunch!

That sour heat essentially is how you destroy it. Yeah. Is the Tarki. Alright, in we go. Strangely underpowered. Underflavoured. They're not very good at all. They're crunchy, I'll give them that.

If you were given that and said what flavour, what kind of crisp is this based on, what kind of thing, you wouldn't know it was tarkeys, would you? At most I might say a hot salsa. They're sweet as well. There's sugar in there, that's not very well balanced. No, that gets a 2 for me, 1.5. I might join you on 1.5. Okay, we've got one more.

But they're not horrible, they're not like objectively nasty, they're just underwhelming and a bit disappointing. Yeah, a bit too sweet, they're almost sickly sweet. I'm getting on the end, you know? Yeah. Last of the nuts, Paul, for today. Yeah. And I'm hoping that potted meat is a memory in the past. Didn't get a full retch out of you.

No. You controlled it. I did. I did. I was fighting my throat at one point. Yeah, I know. But tell me about it. I was fighting your throat last night. Yeah. Yeah. Guess who lost?

Banging against it! Right, lovely. So who lost. BANGING AGAINST IT! Right, lovely. So you face-fuck me in my sleep is what you're saying. I face-fuck you in your sleep. What charming comedy content. Whilst you were sleeping, face-fucked you in this face. That explains why when I woke up this morning my teeth looked like your beard. Right, really have stepped over the line today. Oh I stepped over the line just like that? Yes. So you can facefuck me but if I say you leave plebs, plebs, pubes

in my gob. Pubes in your gob. They were shedding last night when I came after your wedding, I came in. All right. I'm the Canister Priest. Canister Priest means nothing. You know it means something. You know what it means. It means the end of this podcast. Right. These are fucking almonds. What flavour? They are Extremes Carolina Reaper. But the big, there's a big snack almond brand in the States, Blue Diamond.

They do really good flavours, lots of different flavours. They're salt and vinegar almonds are to die for. Not known over here, but well known in America for their flavours. I haven't seen them over here. No. It's weird. Perhaps almonds aren't as accepted as a... I did see these in LA. I'm surprised you didn't pick them up. These are Carolina Reaper. There's a sort of general savory half coming up off the nuts here.

I know. I know. But it was just perfectly phrased. I can't get much of a snuff out of them. No, they're not that snuff-like. I've tickled a couple of ones. It's got some almonds there. Oh, they're very much coated. Oh god, that looks dangerous. I'm just gonna do one first. I was gonna throw three in then but. I've done four. They're hot. They build. That one on its own didn't leave much of a trace but I felt it warming up and I thought if I throw these in it would jack it up. Hand them over if you don't want them. I mean I do want them. Nice, dry, very dry. I'm gonna put three in.

You'll see it's cumulative kind of. Yeah. It builds. Nice. Yeah. Nice. I like those. Definitely nicer than the Tarkis. There's a strange kind of woody flavour to them. A kind of a... That's an almond flavour, it's a nut flavour. Yeah maybe but there's also this kind of a, I don't know how to explain it, like a kind of barbecued smoked bird thing. Smoky,, it's a nut flavour. Yeah, maybe, but there's also this kind of a, I don't know how to explain it, like a kind of barbecued smoked bird thing.

Smoky, yeah, it's smoky. That's the flavour of Carolina Reaper, as a smokiness to the chilli pepper. Yeah, that's quite nice. Very nice. It's a good brand, actually. Three, that's for me a solid three, you know, it's fine. I'm gonna go 3.2 again. 3.2 again?

Well, I know what we need to do next. Press that fucking button, Paul. And take a break and come back where we shall wet our whistles with some soda treats. Eli, you've got drinks. I would like to see your drinks. Well, we've had a little disagreement here, everyone, just in the little behind the scenes here. A little bit behind the curtain. We have three drinks. I've sourced one from the States, which I'm really proud of.

I only saw it in a multi-pack in the local supermarket to me, and I thought, we need that. We need that. And then I thought, I haven't got it. I haven't fucking got it. And then where did it show up, Paul? After I'd been through TSA security to get on the plane back, it was in one of the little calves by the gate. Oh dear. Oh well. I thought perfect because I don't have to bring it through. Yeah you don't. I don't have to check it in. It's just in my bag all the way back and it's spiced Coca Cola Paul. Spiced Coca Cola. Coca Cola spiced. What does that mean to you then? I have no idea. The only equivalent I can think of is when they talk about spiced rum, which very much has taken over. Ginger. No, you know, spiced.

Ginger ale kind of spiced. They mean like spices like, yes, the range of spice. Yes isn't a spice, Mr. Silverman. Cinnamon. But yes isn't a spice. You went, spice is like, yes. And I don't believe that, don't you get out of your pocket. Do we depart the curtain and tell me what, tell them why?

No. Well then, leave it in your pocket or throw it on the couch. What about if I slap your face with it? Eeeeh gob action. I won't feel anything because there's nothing to swing is there? Gob action. Your penis is like one of those invisible dog leash tricks. It's like you pretended something in your hand but there's nothing really. Your penis is like a magician's trick. It's not in that hand, it's not in that hand. Where's it gone? It's up your knob.

Oh, it's up my knob. Well done. Right. I thought that is the premiere, the piece de resistance of today's selection. Right. But you seem to think otherwise. You know what? Let's start, let's put it at the end because you've made such a big fucking dog's dinner out of it. I think we should because this calls back to those signature cokes that we always used to go on about.

We took a break by the way ladies and gentlemen, my enthusiasm's absolutely bottomed out now. Come on, you're going to have some nice sodie pop now. Right, we're doing, we'll do the lemon one first. Coca Cola lemon. This is basic lemon, Coca Cola lemon. I think to my mind's eye, my mind's tongue, Paul. I think I've had it in the past. Didn't they do it years ago? 20 years ago. I don't think I've ever tried it. It says new.

Yeah, but in my mind's eye, going back into the nether space of my memory, right? I'm sure there was a limited run of Coca Cola Lemon. Yes, but it became before their whole total expanding universe thing of the last five years, which have included, we should mention, the cosmic whatever those special edition ones. Signatures, whatever. They're not signature. Whatever. The signature with the really lovely ones.

Experiments or something. Coca-Cola experiments. Well anyway, it's been a series of tie-ins with sort of online influencer type artists. Yeah, a load of old wank. Every single one's been fucking garbage. Terrible, terrible. Getting worse, in fact. Yeah, actually worse.

The first one was Cosmic Coca-Cola, remember? A taste of space. A taste of my ass hole. Put your finger right up my ass hole. Why do we? Anyway, but I think you may be right that they tried this as an experiment, but then in recent years you've had coffee flavoured Coke, you've had mango flavoured Coke, all of this bullshit peach.

You know why? Because of the sugar tax and stuff like that, Coca-Cola have gone well we're going to make cheaper drinks and to offset the fact that everything tastes of chemicals now, we'll add a flavour in to sell it as a gimmick. And it's what? Funnily enough, Pepsi Max did with their fucking cherry, isn't it? It is, but much more successfully. Whether you like it or not, to a lot of people- I violently disagree.

Whether you like it or not, Paul, to a lot of people, Pepsi- Drink fuck-unce by cunt. There we go, how about that? I think that's going too far. I think that's going too far. He's shrugging, everyone. Come at my bra. Now come at me bra. This is not diet. This is right. And this this perked up my peaks me. It perked up my mental tongue and for a long while. What the what that that's nice. It's been four minutes. Let's stop drinking stuff. One last point. Yeah. What do you love? And if you have a glass of coke in a restaurant?

What's really the pièce de résistance on that? For me, shaved ice. For me, it's the lemon slice. Have you ever had a coke and they put lemon slice in the bottle top? Well, when I used to live in LA, when we went to Mel's Diner, I would always have with a lemon syrup, a cola with a lemon syrup. With lemon syrup? Yeah. Ah, you see, so it was actually like a mixed soft drink you used to have. Yeah, because you could just add the syrup, cherry and all this stuff. Okay.

What I'm saying is, it might be really nice, this. I think it will be. Judging by my memory, I have a feeling it's going to be like Coke upfront, and the back end is going to be kind of, well, lemony, but hopefully not in that kind of washing up liquid kind of lemony. That's what you're hoping for, a nicer, more sort of fruity lemon. Yeah and less chemically yeah. I mean what's the Huff report so? What is that? It's inconclusive. Yeah I couldn't tell it apart from coke. I've got a large ice cube. He's got a large ice in it so he's pouring some of the cola on the ice to hopefully uh oh there you go. Thank

you. Yes I can smell the lemon on it to my nose. I can now, yeah. I think it's the bubbles and that's the bubbles pop. Oh, that's nice actually. It's actually quite refreshing. Really nice. Right, we're going in. Oh, I like that. Oh man. That's all right.

I like that. That's not quite how I thought it was going to be in my mind's eye, but that's all right. You know what it reminds me of a bit? Mountain G. Yeah, or weirdly, it feels like a lemonade. Yeah. It feels like a kind of slightly more syrupy lemonade. You couldn't see the color. Would you be picking up any Coke notes?

No, not really. But there's not close your eyes. It's totally like Mountain Dew man. I like it on a hot day. Oh, oh, oh, it's fresh. It has that Coca Cola thing. It's a classic. I mean, they don't get it right always, but that is a classic from the Coca Cola. But you know, like we say, I've always said, like, Pepsi's too syrupy and Coke tends to be more watery. That helps in this instance, because I think that watery element of Coke helps serve the

lemon part of it, and that fills out that watery thing that usually dilutes the cola. Well, and it hasn't got any of the aspartame that you hate. No! It tastes of real sugar, which is nice. Let's take all of this now, because we've got two more drinks. It's a proper soda, isn't it? I'm just sick of this zero sugar shit, but here's a load of flavors. That's got a real hit of nice real sugar on the sweetness.

Nice. Very nice. If that was warm on a shelf when you drank it, I think that'd be horrible. But because we've got the ice and it's been in the fridge. Very good. Very good. They're not always terrible, but they've put some horrible drinks out into this world. Yes, they have. Next up, another, I believe Fanta is owned by the Coca Cola company. It is indeed. This is Fanta Sour Plum flavour. See I was excited about this one.

I wanted this to be the finale. I think Cola Spice is a bigger deal. Where did you find that? I found this in the same place I got the Lemon Coke actually, which is a convenience store in London's Walthamstow. Lovely. They's a nice place. They've got a good selection. They've got all Mountain Dew variants. You've been there before for drinks quite numerously. You always bring something interesting. There's always something good in there. They've got a good eye, good buyers, good soda buyers. It's got a Wonka-esque sense of adventure.

Yeah, I like that. Do you know what I don't like though? Pegging. I've never tried that. I'm not up for it just in case anyone's... That. Please stop doing that. Please? How up for it just in case anyone's... That! Please stop doing that. Please? How is this fun for anyone?

Well, there's one person having fun. Are you though? Are you really? No. Stop that. Now, I bought it there and it is sour plum flavofanto and it has Chinese or Japanese writing on it. Yes, we can't really tell because we're idiots. Or something. Purple cap, purple label.

I like the aesthetic value of the glass bottle. But that part of the world, sour plum is a big thing that they eat all over the East, isn't it? In my glass. In my glass. What's the hoof? What do you think this is going to be like? It's got a brown colour to it.

Oh, quite raisiny. I like them. Make sure you drain off the lemon coke from the oven. I've done it, look. Blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub. I like it. It's a niff without pouring.

It's got a little bit of a purple tint to it, but it's cola coloured. Oh, I actually like the smell of it. It's a raisiny sort of smell. Well, I was thinking it's kind of like classic grape kind of scent. Well, okay. Let's have a look.

Let's have a little taste of this. Tasty time. Yeah, it's very raisiny, grapey. I really like that. It's not really overly sour. There's a certain. I like that. It's a fruity, it's like a vimto almost right. Without the vanilla notes. Yeah without the vanilla notes it's much more plummy I guess. Well yeah that's what it is. Well it is. It's sour plum flavour. Yeah but to me it's more grape. It's great to be alive in this stage in history where these drinks can exist.

Well, not for a lot of other reasons, but in terms of the kind of drinks we can get, it's pretty good. Yeah, I guess that's what makes it all better. Fuck me. I hate this reality. Okay. Yes, I like that one more than the lemon one.

I think this system with the big ice cube for tasting soda is really working, isn't it? It keeps bonking me nose. That's nice. Don't you like a nice refreshing bonk on the nose from the ice? But it's cold on me tipper! On my sniff tip! On your little sniff tip! It's cold on me sniff tip!

Buka buka buka boo! Do you want me to keep that in? That's kind of embarrassing. Why? You did the little hand baby gesture, it was weird. I know! For a minute! One of us is having fun now, Paul. Well, it's not me. Do you want me to keep that in? Because that's kind of embarrassing. Why? You did the little hand baby gesture. It was weird. I know. For a minute.

One of us is having fun now, Paul. Well, it's not me. Do you know what's really aggravating is the way you fiddle with that ice. I can't believe you're allowed to get away with that. If I touch anything, like the fucking wire, you're on me. I can never put anything down. And then fucking you're like, you're like the fucking woman in Get out with the teacup Trying to fucking hypnotize me Very suggestive poor the great mesmerist pull

Job job You don't need to hypnotize me Stop it. I've got meat on now, I forgot about that. What did you think of that soda? Last thoughts on the Sour Plum? Right, the Lemon One gets a 3.5. This gets a 4, just nudges ahead because it's much more on my flavour profile preference list. I like that kind of flavour profile, the Dr Peppers and stuff.

It's almost sarsaparilla-y like that as well. Dandian and Burdock, Dr Plum or whatever. I like that as opposed to Coke. It's almost sarsaparilla-y like that as well. Dandlion and burdock, Dr. Plum or whatever. Straight on to the last one now. It is the Spiced Coca-Cola. We've had the backstory. Let's just pop that cap. Have you looked this up? There must be some sort of press release or something for this. I would be interested because it might be, you know, they're a big brand after all, Paul. This is Zero Sugar. I'm interested to know if they did a sugar one.

This is a totally, looks like a totally new flavor from them. Well, I don't know. It says, discover Coca Cola spiced, a new raspberry and spice sensation. There you go. Step into the world of Coke Spice and experience the unique blend of our iconic Cola with rich raspberry and exotic spices. Okay, there you go. This is on the official, this is the official Dr. Cola website.

It's not just spiced. And then there's a video which I refused to play. Okay, so it's Raspberry. That did uncover that for me. Yeah. But Spiced obviously is something they think plays. And is that to do with the Spiced rum market, is what I'm wondering. As a mixer? Yeah. Maybe.

Totally, yeah. I think they're going into the ad of the boozing sort of... I still lament those Coca Cola, the Her Herbonics drinks, whatever they were called. That's what I'm trying to say. They were called signature, weren't they? Yeah. The signature range. They were great. We've been through this. Move on.

Spicy, herbal, woody. Yeah. So they know this, I was hoping this would be something like that, where they've actually used their flavor knowledge to fucking do something. I'm gonna have a very close huffing on this. Is this not a zero drink as well? I'm gonna huff this.

It is a zero drink. Yeah. See, you're already out. No, I'm just, ooh very close half on you. Is this not a zero drink as well? I'm gonna half this half. It is a zero drink. See you're already out. No I'm just... Ooh! Ooh! I'm real fruity. Fruity? Ooh a very distinct fruit. Soft berries. Soft berries. Oh dear. How's the fat harden as it cools? Ooh! Ooh! That's Mountain Dew! Is it? Everything's Mountain Dew to you. Just have a fresh Nath Nif.

I'm gonna just pump the bottle. Tell me that doesn't smell like Mountain Dew. No, it doesn't. To me, this smells like a thick raspberry kind of... There's a raspberry note. He's pouring some on. I'm gonna pour some on. This could be quite nice, actually, based on the smell. I'll let you pour your own. No need to shout.

Shut up. You fucking gobby bastard telling me not to shout. I'm just saying there's no need to shout, you gobby bastard. It went flat quite quick though, this one, as an observation. Yeah, it did fall over before I'd... Ah, ah.

Its smell promises a flavor it doesn't deliver on. Well, that's gonna do the sugar-freeness, isn't it? Now, I will say this. That fake sugar thing isn't upfront but it does linger after you've you know swallowed the whole of it. I think the raspberry's there because without it there's no flavour here. I don't get any spice do you? No. Yes there is almost like a bitterness, a little bitter spiciness finish. To me this tastes like a sugar-free, watery raspberry drink. Yeah. Like a raspberry-ade. You know, like an old raspberry-ade in the old days.

I don't think it's going to change the landscape. In fact, mate, if you don't mind me being so bold, this tastes like one of those fucking shitty small tins, you know, the ones you're just talking about. Yeah, it does. The fake... That's exactly what I felt for it. Creations or whatever they're fucking called.

Oh dear, it's a big losing product. The lemon cola is leagues ahead in terms of satisfying flavour. But this is the point and I know this is the narrative you don't want to get involved with. Pepsi Max Cherry has solved the problem that all of these sugar-free cokes fall for it. Fuck you. Next time we're doing drinks we're doing Pepsi Max Cherry and I'm gonna find something better. That's sugar-free? Yeah I'm gonna wank in a dog's mouth and get it to be sick into a bottle and we'll drink that and it'll be better. Animal cruelty again, what are you gonna do to the dog? What are you gonna do to that poor dog, Paul?

Fuck it in the mouth. And then? Make it sick. What do you want me to say? Well, I'm glad you just clarified that for me. Alright, you know what? I'll change it, right? You'll change its nappy? No, I'll change the dog's nappy.

The dog's probably gonna be in na nappy after you've done with it dog it's not we're taking the dog out right fucking benappy dog taking the dog out right dog's done he was always killing on fucking dogs get another animal in all right i'll do another animal right okay no what about a instead of a dog what about a horse well now you're talking. I'll face fuck a horse until it's sick, and then you can drink the sick of the horse,

and I guarantee it'll be more refreshing than a bottle of Pepsi Cherry Max. You just wanna make enemies in this world, Paul. Mate, I'm burning it all down. Not what, the edifice of Pepsi Max Cherry? I am the podcast terrorist. Oh, God. Just to...

Don't sniff the potted meat. I've got the potted meat back out, mate. Mate, I'm very sorry for my... The predictions come true. ...my animal-sick cocktail drink suggestion. I can't even... Don't put it in your mouth. Don't put the potted meat back in.

Mate, you had such a lovely taste flavour in your mouth. No, that Coke wasn't that great. No, but it's better than potted fucking meat. I don't know. I'm feeling a bit peckish. Potted Coke. Put some Coke in the mouth. No, that coke wasn't that great. No, but it's better than potted fucking meat. I don't know. Potted coke. Put some coke in the meat. Oh, don't use the lemon one. Oh, not the lemon. No, don't use the lemon one. Put a little bit of a cola bit. For the first and last time in history, I'll be tasting. Potted meat and spice coke. be tasty. Potted meat and spice coke. Oh, there's your big Finnish episode. Oh, fizzy fizzy. Oh, that reacted badly to the meat. It's all fizzy on the meat. It's meat, it's fizzy. I'm not, maybe one. Just one bite. One bite. Oh, it's going in. Oh, that's a mistake to make it. What was that like? Sweet and meaty.

1.7 stars. 1.7 is fair. And that's it for Cheap Show this week. We'll see you next week. Everything that you want from us is on our website, thecheapshow.co.uk. We have a page for each episode with pictures and videos. Lots of pictures and videos. We have links to our videos. Also, we have just released the Barshens reunion video on YouTube for the public. Eli's having a very horrible reaction to the Coke and meat concoction. I think he's doing something fizzy in my gullet. If you go to Cheap Show on YouTube, you will see the Barshens reunion video where

you can see us playing the three bars V-Hens game. And we've had such good feedback from that. So thank you to everyone who supports us on Patreon. Thank you very much. It keeps us sane and keeps the podcast going. So if you wanna join them and keep Cheap Show living it large, you can go to patreon.com forward slash Cheap Show, give what you can, but only if you can. And then recently, oh God. Oh dear. We've been having a little too much food.

So. Oh dear. Real need to deliver that pizza. Yes, a pizza on this express. Right. I don't know. On the express. I forgot what I was saying now. Well, you weren't saying much, mate.

And yes, to go along with the Barshans reunion, there's a very special edition of the Cheap Show magazine, Barshans Special, which has features from everyone in Barshans. It's an amazing magazine. It then puts so much hard work into it. And all the artists who contributed to, that's fantastic. So you can get a free download of that if you're a Patreon, but you can also get the physical edition of it,

which comes with a poster, and I'll put the link in the metadata for this episode. You can read it on your podcast app of choice. We're recommending good pods at the moment because we're rating highly with them there and listen to them on there. You can learn and discover other podcasts and stuff because Twitter's dying on its arse so we need you.

Is it really though Paul? Yes it is. You're a big hypocrite. No. You're a big fucking hypocrite. It is. You keep saying oh Twitter's dying on its arse every day. Oh no engagement.

Scrolling through. Yeah no but in terms of engagement. Looking at it. No. You post two or three times a day on it still. Yeah because I still have to do something to keep the lights on here, right? The problem is the engagement's gone down because of all the sex bots and AI and fucking blue tick warriors, all that shit, right?

So as a result, it's not very effective. This is why I'm saying to people, if you listen to it on your podcast of choice, review us there. People can discover it. Podcast hub of choice. Podcast listening device of choice. Podcast hub of choice. Podcast listening device of choice. Podcast app of choice. We're recommending good pods at the moment.

Okay. Right, but all I'm saying is if you can share or review us that bubbles us up to the surface so other people can discover us. Do you know what else is bubbling up to the surface? Social media, well yeah there's quite a lot of bubbling up. There's a bit of bubbling up going on in my tum at Tums. I think the phrase is I'm a bubbling hot and yeah so if you want to

help support the podcast please share and retweet whatever you can to get eyes on us. And one last thing again we are both extremely tired this week so don't take this as an example of you know the usual. Yeah, usually we're much worse. Much worse! Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-