CheapShow - Ep 391: Shepherd's Delight

Starting point is 00:00:00 Sorry, what? I'm not funny. That's the most you've laughed. Everybody, hello. But we've been trying to do this cold open. Cold open so many times. As Eli's just said, he's not funny. So what have I got here?

Starting point is 00:00:16 I'm sorry for not being funny this week, everybody. I'm also sorry in advance in case I'm not funny this week. You worked late. I worked late two nights this weekend as well. Yeah, we work hard for the money. So hard for the money. And then I don't know how that goes after that. And she's really gonna get it right.

Starting point is 00:00:33 Right. Tonight. Hello, welcome to Cheap Show. Oh. Oh. That's not, let's not. Well, I don't- Let's not use that.

Starting point is 00:00:43 This is a weird, now it's all weird. Let's not use it. Let's not use it, we can do one. Let's just do let's not. Well, I don't... Let's not use that. This is a weird... Now it's all weird. Let's not use it. Let's not use it. We can do one. Let's just do a normal one. Hi everybody. Hello.

Starting point is 00:00:51 Oh, you've decided to listen to Cheap Show. Thank you. Congratulations, you've made a wise purchase. It is a little bit of an acquired taste. Mmm. It might not be for you, but... It's a little bit poor. A little bit...

Starting point is 00:01:04 Peacant. Very much peacant. It can a little bit poor. A little bit piquant. Very much piquant. It can be piquant, it can be shockingly sweet. Yes. It can be, ooh, sour. It can be very sour, this kind of podcast. It can be bitter. It's always bitter.

Starting point is 00:01:16 Sometimes a little bit... One of the most bitter podcasts I know. Sometimes a little bit of the podcast dries in the corner of our mouths and then turns into a white foamy crust. A crusty, a crust foam. And then you watch it as it bobs up and down as the person's talking. All I'm saying is this podcast isn't a quiet taste and it might not be for you so please consume this podcast with consideration.

Starting point is 00:01:35 Olives, for example. Olives, like you just said, olives for no reason. Why did you do that? Because olives are famously an acquired taste. You know what? I've never taken your opinion on olives. Olives, Paul. You see, this is the kind of stuff we do on Cheap Show.

Starting point is 00:01:48 Olives. Olives. Let's talk about olives. Where do you stand? I like olives. You do? I do, but I didn't like them when I was a kid. No one does.

Starting point is 00:01:56 No one does. And you know what? I'm secretly quite judgmental of friends of mine who I have who are adults who say, oh, I don't like olives because I feel like they haven't matured. Yeah, or they haven't. I feel like't matured. Or they're hiding something. I feel like they have immature mouths. Immature. They have immature palates.

Starting point is 00:02:11 Immature palates. Hey, you know, that's the kind of thing Cheap Show does. Just this conversation was a great example. Olives. Olives conversation. How great are we? I like all sorts. All sorts of what?

Starting point is 00:02:23 Olives. Olives. What kind of olives are there? Ooh! I'm... Foreshadowing? Yeah. Well, we need to get to the credits, Paul, because it's been a real struggle. Because this might be the most struggle we've had in a while doing a Cold Open,

Starting point is 00:02:34 and you're listening to it going, I've never heard this podcast before, and what's all this shit? Aren't they crap? I'm turning it off. Well, if you turn it off, you'll never hear my dark secret I'm going to reveal at the end of this episode. Oh, yeah. I've got a very dark secret, and I'm going to tell everyone what it is. Is it the one about?

Starting point is 00:02:47 Yeah, it's about that. It's about the dead TV naturist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bellamy. Yeah. It's the Bellamy secret. I've got Bellamy foreskin. Is that it now?

Starting point is 00:03:02 We're pressing the button now. I'm going to tell them all about my's condition. Bellamy's foreskin. Because listen, I'll put my penis up to the microphone. Oh, I'm going to turn my back. Gribble, grubble, gribble, grubble. That's multifibit. That's how I've got multifibbage coming out the tip of my cock. Multifibbage doesn't exist in the universe anymore.

Starting point is 00:03:20 Does he not? I can't remember. In that case, it's David Bellamy foreskin. David Bellen, Bellen- Bellenzi Forskin. And that's going into the cold open. Hello, welcome to Cheap Show. Hello everybody! Press the fucking credits. Yes, that's right. It's Cheap Show time again. I'm Eli Silverman. Paul Gannon over there.

Starting point is 00:04:12 Hello, I'm over here and we do a podcast and this podcast, as you may have gathered, is called Cheap Show and it's one of those funny podcasts with this niche little topic that we like to delve into weekly where we go to bargain bins, charity shops, powerlands of this country and we bring back some of the more interesting curios we find amongst the trash. That's right Paul. Sometimes we do food, sometimes we do drink, sometimes we do board game, sometimes we do book, sometimes we do toy, sometimes we do gadget, sometimes we do clove, sometimes we do film, sometimes we do this, sometimes we do that.

Starting point is 00:04:45 We sometimes do things Paul, very right. Under the banner of keeping it cheap and cheerful. Now talking of cheap stuff, I got some free toys the other day. Did you? I was walking up by Camden Town in Vyrons and someone had discarded a box of toys. Was it on a wall like saying take familiar? Well it was just... Or did it have like four charity written on the side? It had nothing, it was just on the pavement, a cardboard box. When you peered inside, I didn't actually notice it myself, my friend had full of toys. What kind? All sorts, but pretty high quality and I picked three items for myself.

Starting point is 00:05:16 Right. I got a Luigi. Oh nice. With a stand. Are they amiibos? Are they amiibos? Nintendo amiibos? No, they seem bigger and it seems like the arm's cart wheeling arms on it.

Starting point is 00:05:25 Oh, was it maybe a Happy Meal toy then or something? From the movie? Was it like a movie design Luigi? It could be. It's quite a nice build. Alright, well you can show me a bit later if you want. And I also picked up what turned out to be, I like the interesting look of it, but I looked it up and it turned out to be a Fortnite ghost, which is obviously some kind of thing of Fortnite. So a ghost you only see every two weeks? I don't understand the reference. No, it's the game Fortnite.

Starting point is 00:05:50 I don't know it. And it looks very much as a squid game aesthetic. It's sort of like a white suit with these sort of tech goggle bits. Okay, fine. Like a sort of weird variant of the Stormtrooper. I'll show you that too. The third most important thing was this toy I found in there which is like a monkey riding a log with wheels. Monkey on a log with wheels? Yes. What was that from? It's this series of toys, it was quite rare actually, and they came with, they're sort of a little bit bigger than a matchbox car and it's got wheels so it is a car thing but they came with baseball cards apparently the original toys well what an interesting aside and

Starting point is 00:06:28 that's just another example on cheap show of fun things we find oh did you see my my own well Tiki tumbler yeah you show me a Tiki tumbler oh I'm just trying to think of things you show me your cheeky Tiki tumbler and another thing you'll learn dear new new listener to Cheap Show. Yeah, we do like an innuendo, don't we? We love it, an innuendo in us and out of us. And I've got a big one. I've got a fucking huge innuendo.

Starting point is 00:06:54 I've got a fat cock. No, no, no, you've said that you've gone past innuendo. So I should go back a bit. You've gone past innuendo into literally Nintendo. Nintendo. Nintendo. No, it's the video game that is very blunt. Hey, hey, have I done my Shepherds Delight joke?

Starting point is 00:07:13 No, go on, do your Shepherds Delight joke. I've been working on this for years. I really wanted to get it into my early, my latent stand-up career of 15 years ago. Because you, everyone knows the expression, yeah? Red sky at night, shepherds delight. Wait, I think you might have done this on the podcast. I'm going to say it again because it's great. Red sky at night, shepherds delight. Pink bubbly foamy sky at night, angel delight.

Starting point is 00:07:36 Yeah, you did say that on the podcast recently. Oh, it's coming every week. I'm going to be saying it. Don't do it every week, please. And now it's time, every week we go, and now it's time for Eli's Angel to like gag. It's like you kind of tell some of the dance floor stuff, it's the same story every week. Have you seen my Mr. Nosy book? Don't mate, don't go all distractoid on me right now. Distractoid?

Starting point is 00:07:56 Yeah, I don't mean- Oh, I am distractoid! You can't do it with a robot, that. I am distractoid! What is that over there? It's a gun. Oh, while you were saying that, I've shuffled along. Oh, who am I?

Starting point is 00:08:09 Remember when we said no more characters and try and dial them back and maybe just not willy-nilly throw them into the ether of this podcast? Oh! I like the concept. The concept. Eurgh. Eli's face just burst. I like the concept of Distractoid. Oh, look at that moon, it's being impactoid. Not really. Because I the concept of distractoid. Oh look at that moon, it's being a pactoid. Not really, because I'm the distractoid. No, the distractoid. Oh would you like to know a factoid? Haven't got one. It was just a distractoid. Well that's not really distraction

Starting point is 00:08:35 is it? That's more of a kind of just a liar. He's a liebot. Are you calling distractoid a liebot? I'm going to politely ask we workshop this off recording time. Off I go! Oh look over there! What's coming up on the show today, Paul? Apparently, lots of embarrassment for us both. Apart from that, come on. So we have the source report where we are going back to the source trough to see what Eli's pulled out and then we've got...

Starting point is 00:09:04 I guess it's Paul's pleasant pastimes really really because this isn't a classic golden game. It's a Paul's- I mean it's a game isn't it? Yeah, but I like to differentiate between classic games like a Cluedo Variation or a Much Loved Board game or whatever and then these things which are kind of tenor penny party games. Yes, okay. So we'll be playing a Paul's Pleasant Pastime later in the show.

Starting point is 00:09:25 Paul's Pleasant Pastime, looking forward to that. And before we go any further, I do just want to do some little bit of admin. We haven't mentioned it in a few weeks. So in October, we'll be doing a live show in South London. It's part of the Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival, where you can go see many podcasts do live versions of their show. And we are doing ours on this date, the 19th of October. It's a Saturday. It starts at one o'clock at the Bedford Pub, Ballum, London, Southwest 12. And we're doing a 90 minute comedy show that afternoon. And we'll do a meet and greet afterwards. Don't you worry about that because we've had a few people asking if that's going to be a possible thing. And you can get your tickets on the Cheerful

Starting point is 00:10:07 Earful website. There are links on our website, our personal website, thecheapshirt.co.uk, which is a link, but it's also there as cheerfileearful.co.uk. Paul, I need to give people a warning because last year I ended up going to the wrong podcast festival. Right. Um, instead of the cheerful, if I went to the fearful, if I, um, and it was a terrible racket. Right. Again, you want to workshop that off or do you want to do your fucking angels? The light gag. Fearful, cheerful, the fearful evil. I got a guy. I've got a guy.

Starting point is 00:10:39 You've got a guy. Have you got a guy? You don't know, do you? You've demonstrated you don't. Red sky at night, ain't your delight. No, that's not what it is. Red sky at night, shepherd's delight. Red sky in the east, I'll have a bean feast. That's just a rhyme, that's not a joke. I've just thought of one though.

Starting point is 00:10:59 Is it? I've just thought of one. Here we go. Red sky at night, shepherd's delight. Yeah. Lumpy brown sky with gravy, shepherd's pie. Shepherd's pie, laugh. Again, that's just saying what it is. With mashed potato. Alright, well that's a lie. Red sky at night, shepherd's delight. Human being

Starting point is 00:11:19 who owns sheep and a dog, shepherd. It's just, you know, let's just do that. We found the best one everyone. Is that just the best one? Shepherd. Shepherd. It's just, you know, let's just do that. We found the best one everyone. Is that just the best one? Shepherd. Shepherd. Isn't it weird how shepherd, you say shep, but you don't go look at those shep, do you? No, of course you don't. You're right you don't. Well, it's a sheep herd, isn't it? Why don't we call them a sheep herd? Do you know what goat herd? You don't say it with a gut herd, do you? You don't say, hello, gut herd. Hello, gut herd.

Starting point is 00:11:41 Gut herd at night. Fucking lambs out of shit. Sheep herd and gut herd are out in the field. I've perturbed a turd! Ooh, it's all on my shoe. Fuck me, we're all for this week. At least I'm having fun now. The goat, the goat-herder. Here comes the goat-herder. Hello.

Starting point is 00:12:00 Sher-per-der. Red sky at night, shepherd's delight. Brown sky at night, shepherd's done a shite. I can't believe how much mileage we haven't got out of this. I know. It's weird how we've made nothing out of not much in the first place and still continue to do so. We are two men with degrees. Mine was in English. Red sky at night, shepherd delight. Red sky at day, shepherd whey.

Starting point is 00:12:34 He's got a big knob on. Let's just start the show I think. Let's just start the show, I think. Let's just start the show. I've just imagined the sky is red during the day because of the fucking huge size of his big pink helmet reflecting the light back into the sky. Defracting the sunlight off it, making a fucking pink hue. Yeah! Giant Shepard knob blocks sun!

Starting point is 00:13:04 Whatever that means. Let's just get on to it. Okay, let's get serious now, Paul. We've all had a little laugh, but Cheap Show has a long-standing, very important tradition of covering sources, and that segment of the show is The Source Report, and I'd like to welcome old listeners and new to this Source Report special segment today. Paul, have you got anything to say? Well, the Source Report is something that we find a service more than a segment, really. We're here to keep you up to date with the sources out there that you may wish to splash upon your meat.

Starting point is 00:13:38 Or on your veg. Yes. Or… Just stick up your arse. I know. You know those soldiers who die from having a bottle of vodka shoved up their arse? Yeah. Wonder what that happened to a source. I don't know.

Starting point is 00:13:51 Anyway, I've gone to the supermarket. My intention today, Paul, was to find some of that... His eyes are wandering. Red-Lot Skype Night! Shepherd's Delight! Dead soldier in mourning. Sword Art in the morning. Sailor's Warning.

Starting point is 00:14:12 Sailor's Warning. Oh, I had a Sailor's Warning last night. Stop. Stop. This... This inane bullshit cannot invade... You started this. ...the source report. It's very serious. I had a mission in mind today when I went to Sainsbury's. I wanted to locate,

Starting point is 00:14:30 for the purposes of this segment and the wider knowledge of the world, the new Hines pickle flavoured ketchup. Now Eli went out of his way to go and try and find it in one of the bigger supermarkets in the area and yet no dice. And now I know a lot of people have been showing pictures on Twitter to us of this and can I just make an appeal to our listeners if you do see a bottle we would love for you to send that to the PO box. Well obviously maybe give us an advance notice so we can say yes send it otherwise my PO box will be full of pickle sauce. I mean I haven't seen it maybe it's different parts of the country outside London that are

Starting point is 00:15:04 getting it. I don't know I would would have thought it would be. They had every single type of Heinz ketchup in there. Now that you say that particular sentence, it does draw my attention to another tweet we got where Heinz released this thing called the E-Everything sauce. Have you seen it? Yes, it's a new promotion. And it says apparently it's made up of like 14 different flavors of their Heinz variety sauces. And you have to enter a prize draw, right? I entered it, by the way. So there's a possibility we could get hold of it. You should enter it as well.

Starting point is 00:15:31 It's like it says a quiz, but really all it says is, how do you like sauces? How many sauces do you have a day? Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, all the sauces. I'll have loads of sauces. Now, here's my question. When you have an everything sauce, which is ketchup and garlic mayo and burger sauce and barbecue and all these different flavors, what could it possibly taste like? It can't taste of anything, right? No, I'd say it probably will taste like a more barbecue-y ketchup. It's just maybe with some chili heat. So it'll be very similar to a sort of a brown.

Starting point is 00:16:00 Yeah, you know what I think it is, in all honesty? It's just going to be mayo, a boring mayo. And that's the joke. I don't think they'd go for that. I think with the flavor technology going on today, you've got Fanta giving us mystery flavors. You would have to be Willy Wonka. You've got Heinz that done mystery flavors. Yeah, no, I know.

Starting point is 00:16:16 But you'd have to be Willy Wonka. Not Heinz, I mean Cadbury's. Remember that mystery flavor chocolate we tried? Yeah. It's all of that kind of thing. And it's because of leaps and bounds that these companies have been making in flavor technology in recent years.

Starting point is 00:16:27 This is what I'm- We wish they'd focus on curing diseases though. Well, it's a different- Oh, we can't cure your kid of cancer, but have you ever tried snosbury sauce? Snosbury, that sounds good. It tastes like snosburys. You've just nicked it and made it not as funny.

Starting point is 00:16:41 No, I purposely mentioned it as a Wonka thing because that's the point I was making. A Wonka obviously wrote Dahl as well. And also in the film they have the meal thing where you put a gum in and it goes from, oh, roast dinner, oh now it's ice cream. And it's like, we're almost getting to that point, aren't we? Maybe but then the sauce would have to have that profile where at the front end it's beefy, the back end it's mayo.

Starting point is 00:17:01 That was the bit that really stood out to me and made me really full of wonder, childlike wonder. Yeah. With the gum that changes flavor and to do all the different meals. Yeah, I love that. But Paul, yes, it's obviously just a gimmick, this Heinz thing, but I would be surprised if they try and rug pull us by just making it mayo. I don't think they'll do that. I think it won't be, you know, you won't be able to distinguish all 14 of the things in it. No, no one could. No. Even a super taster. But I've also emailed Heinz and said, give us some. I doubt we'll hear back. But they don't know we're the predominant source podcast in the world. In the world. Probably. Now, so anyway, you've got three sources this week.

Starting point is 00:17:37 So I had to get replacement sources, but didn't get the source I wanted. That's the main thing, Paul. So shall I introduce the sources? Please introduce them. And then we'll have a little break and then we'll go into it. And then we'll taste them. So the first one that caught my eye, just because of sauce trends, they did have the new, what occurred to me, is there's lots of different burger sauces now available. Maybe too many. And we could do an off-brand brand off. Yeah we could. Yeah. Yeah. Well I'd be interested to do that. There's a taste the difference one as well as a sort of standard basic one as well as a

Starting point is 00:18:04 Heinz burger sauce. Yeah I'm fine with that we've just got to make it happen. But they also have saucy sauce which is a mayo ketchup. See I thought that's what burger was. What's that rosé sauce or whatever you call it where it's like ketchup and mayo. Mary Rose. Yeah Mary Rose. Yeah but that's just what the saucy sauce is anyway.

Starting point is 00:18:20 There's a lot of fuzzy nomenclature in the world of sauces. Great album by Radiohead that. Fuzzy nomenclature. Yeah, all B-sides though. Now, but the first one that caught my eyes was this Hellman's cheese flavour sauce. Because cheese sauce or American style sauce, for a long time in this country, there's been a sort of cultural stuffiness about it, like a sort of sticking your nose up almost to say that's not real food, that's that American plastic food, you know. Well it's because America had that whole trend of squirty squirty cheese. Squirty cheese, yeah. But this is essentially the same stuff, isn't it? Surely. But in recent years that kind of

Starting point is 00:18:57 American cheese sauce has been much more accepted into I'd say British cuisine culture and it's because of the whole barbecue craze. It's the Americanization of sauces, really, when you think about it. But you know what I'm saying? It is. And so that's why this caught my eye. It's Hellman's cheese-flavoured sauce. Now, you said, oh, because it's Hellman's, is it just going to be a cheesy-flavoured mayonnaise?

Starting point is 00:19:19 And I said, no, no, no. Put me in my place. Because Hellman's don't just make mayonnaise. In fact, they make ketchup, don't they? They try and compete with Heinz for the ketchup. I don't know, you say that and I believe you but I can't... Heinz make mayo and Hellmann's make ketchup. They're just at each other the whole time. It's a source war. I just don't remember going into a supermarket and seeing Hellmann's ketchup on a shelf. Yeah I've seen it. So is it just a cheese sauce then? Let's have a little look what it says. It doesn't say anything. So it's just a

Starting point is 00:19:42 cheese sauce. It says cheese flavor sauce. It doesn't say cheese flavoured mayo, which they would say. This is the thing, a cheese flavoured sauce is just cheese sauce. Otherwise you're saying a sauce has some inherent flavour and there's a cheese variant on that. I think the flavour word in there is trying to get away with it not actually officially being cheese. You know, it's like chocolate flavoured sauce, hasn't got any real chocolate in. Right. I think there's a certain level maybe in the chocolate case of

Starting point is 00:20:08 like cocoa powder and if you haven't got enough cocoa powder in your product, you can't actually call it chocolate. Maybe there's something similar going on with them. Almost anything. Burger. Yes. Hot dog. Yes. Chips. Yes. Mash. Yes.

Starting point is 00:20:21 Roast potatoes. Absolutely. Fish. Yes. Cabbage. Mm. Egg. Absolutely. Yeah. Roast potatoes. Absolutely. Fish. Yes. Cabbage. Egg. Absolutely. Egg and cheese.

Starting point is 00:20:31 Egg, boiled egg with that squirted on. I'd have that. Oh dear. The second sauce we're going to be tasting today, Paul. Exciting. Another one that caught my eye in Sainsbury's. Tingly Ted's. Oh, this is going to fuck me off.

Starting point is 00:20:39 And it says mixed by Ed and Ted. Extra tingly sauce. And I thought, oh, what's that? What's that? What's tingly Ted? And isn't it hot sauce? Is it hot sauce? That's what I thought. Is this some kind of got some kind of numbing pepper in it? Because that's a tingle, you know, like Szechuan numbing pepper is a tingle rather than a heat. But no, it's just hot sauce. And I looked at the side and I said, who's Ted? I'll read you the copy. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Cause I was

Starting point is 00:21:02 going to say I'm looking at the website and it's fucking annoying as cock. Who's Ted? He's Ed Sheeran's sidekick. A teddy with a taste for hot sauce and a craving for adventure. Together they've made a mix for all. It's loud. The chilli sings and it brings a tingle to everything from brekkie to late night nuggets. Can fuck right off.

Starting point is 00:21:28 Listen to the website version of that. This is on Tingly Ted dot fucking dodge website dot whatever. It says Ted who question mark. Way back yonder, Teddy was Ed's childhood nickname. After leaving his paw prints on a couple of Ed's records, today Ted has been born again as Grumpy Bear's sidekick and co-creator of the first tingly sauce known to man. What are you fucking talking about? I'm not impressed by your sauce because it's based on Ed Sheeran's fucking teddy. This is just Ed Sheeran going, I've got so much money, shall I start a hot sauce company based on my fucking teddy bear? Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr It looks like someone skinned the front of Fozzy Bear. This is just the, this is the embodiment of fucking chummy, chummy, infantile chummy copies.

Starting point is 00:22:29 Yes. And sort of stupid celebrity endorsement culture as well. So Paul. What? I can't actually recall a single Ed Sheeran song. I mean let's just preface this by saying generationally we're a bit out of the loop in terms of modern music. Secondly, his music's not for us anyway.

Starting point is 00:22:45 And also, finally, I don't care. But wasn't there one called like, All of Me? And how did it go? All of me is out. Oh, he had one that was sued for nicking the same chords as Marvin Gaye's Let's Get It On. But I'm kind of on their cheering side with that, to be fair, because like, as he says, you know... It's three chords it's sort of a thing yeah you can't yeah but we'll be trying that paul uh now and do they have an extra tingly sauce as well this is the one i've got is the extra tingly all right okay so they've

Starting point is 00:23:14 only got two types yeah it doesn't actually say what their sauce is it's a hot sauce oh there's a recipe here oh it's just like here you can add it to garlic bread or steaks or lasagna oh my god or tacos or anything avocado anything you're right here's a recipe add it to garlic bread or steaks or lasagna or tacos or anything. You're right. Here's a recipe. Add it to your thing. Yeah, it's a fucking sauce. It's for accompanying food stuff. It's just weird how it doesn't actually say what the sauce is. You know what I mean? They call it the ketchup of hot sauces. No, they do not.

Starting point is 00:23:40 It says as a lifelong ketchup and hot sauce obsessive. Ed Sheeran. Lifelong? Fuck off. Had a dream to make the ketchup of hot sauces. Do you know what that's known as? Lying to sell your product. Do you know what the ketchup of hot sauces is known as, Ed? Yeah, Tabasco.

Starting point is 00:23:53 Sriracha. Oh yeah, Sriracha. That's what it is. Yeah, he's stepping in the Sriracha pool, isn't he? I'd get in that. I'd get in the Sriracha Jacuzzi. I was going to say Chacuzzi. Shracuzzi. Jack was going to say Shacuzzi. Shracuzzi?

Starting point is 00:24:05 Right. Jack... Jack off into the... Jack Uzi. Jack Uzi. When I jack it's very Uzi. Oh mate, imagine you were like new to America and they said, oh get in the Jacuzzi and you were like, do I jack off into it? And then you do. You get kicked out of the hotel. Oh, Paul's left some Uzi Jack in the Jacuzzi and you were like, do I Jack off into it? And then you do. And you get kicked out of the hotel. Oh, Paul's left some oozy Jack in the Jacuzzi. Right. And the third sauce.

Starting point is 00:24:31 Oh, yeah, the third that we have today caught my eye. And I don't think we've tasted anything like this. But you know, there is a new category before I tell you what this is. There is a new category out there which is really coming through to this part of the world, and that is avocado sauce. And I do not mean guacamole, which is a thick avocado dip. No, I know. I mean a sauce, avocado salsa, they sometimes call it. Okay. I can imagine that's quite nice. Yeah. I want to try it. I've tried one that was very nice, but they had an avocado hot

Starting point is 00:24:59 sauce there as well, which is obviously an avocado salsa, probably with some extra heat in it. But this is another green sauce, but this is green sauce. Boosie Jack. This is made by Del Primo and it's salsa verde or green sauce. And I believe this is a Mexican style green tomato style sauce. What flavor profile would that mean then? Like a lighter hot sauce? No, green tomato has a sour, almost citrus bite, and a sort of bitterness, a pleasant

Starting point is 00:25:26 bitterness. Yes. So I think this is gonna have a fresh, a bright like you say, brighter than a red sauce. Oh well, three interesting sauces. I wonder which one will come out tops and which one will be in the dingley dell of that nasty town. Well which one should we start with? Should we do it the order that I've said? But the cheese might gum up all the works. I think, you see, I want to get the cheese out of the way. Oh, let's get the cheese out of the way. But I'll have to clean the spoons in between.

Starting point is 00:25:52 That's what my girlfriend says as well. Let's get the cheese out of the way. Then I get the spoons in. Ha ha ha ha ha. God. Ah. In that case, bring on the first of the sauces, the Cheesy Helmet... Cheesy Helman's... Helmet Sauce.

Starting point is 00:26:12 That would change it, wouldn't it? Cheesy Helmet Sauce. Oh, it's nice. I like this. Can I have a huff? Of course. I just think... This smells like...

Starting point is 00:26:22 It's got a very slight cheddar niff. Yeah, but it also smells like ketchup a little bit. Really? Yeah, it's got like a daddy sauce ketchup huff to it. Do you see what I'm getting at? I'm just getting a sort of sourness, the sort of, that sort of lactose sourness. I'm getting that at the back end, but the front end is really quite tart, like a ketchup tart. That's it, I'm just trying to say. Okay. Sorry, let's not get into this. I'm not going to get into the ketchup tart.

Starting point is 00:26:43 Tart is sour, and so is sharp. Everything... Sorry, I'm just trying to say. Okay. So let's not get into this. I'm not going to get into the ketchup tart. Tart is sour and so is sharp. Everything. Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It is tart though. It has a tartness. But that's when I say sour, cheesy sour, I think that's what you're picking up on. It's like a lactose, milk solid sort of sourness, a milky sourness. To me it just kind of smells like a cheesy ketchup, I guess is what I'm saying. I'm going to let you administer yourself here Paul. I always have to. Now EI is applying the cheesy sauce to our spoons. There's a heap for you.

Starting point is 00:27:12 That's a lot. That's a way too much sauce. That's fine. It's cheesy. You like cheese. I'm going to have to have all of it because I need to clean the spoon. That's a lot of cheese. It's alright. What if I don't like it? You'll be fine Paul. Why are you so scared of this cheese sauce man? Don't know. It's just... Taste cheese! It's alright. What if I don't like it? You'll be fine, Paul. Why are you so scared of this cheese sauce, man? Don't know, it's just...

Starting point is 00:27:27 Taste it, it's fine. I don't... It's got that same colour as Kraft macaroni cheese. It does, I love it. And it's got a nice texture. It is sort of a mayo texture, isn't it? I mean, look at that. I can do the upside down.

Starting point is 00:27:37 It's coming off! No, don't drop your cheesy sauce. And we can invert these spoons fully. Like Maverick at the end of fucking Top Gun where he goes over, he flies over. Three, two, one, down it goes. Oh god. Sweet. Oh god, that has the same consistency as cum. Yeah, it's mayo consistency. We need to find a dip. We need to start bringing a dip along to this because I just don't, I'm getting to the point now where I don't like shoveling in large amounts of sauce into my mouth.

Starting point is 00:28:06 I've got pretzel. Yeah, we should have done a pretzel or something. You want a pretzel? It's too late for that. We're all in. Let's go through to the end. That was not as nice as I thought it was going to be. No, it also wasn't as flavourful as the smell suggested. No, less cheesy than I want it to be. It's quite sweet.

Starting point is 00:28:20 It's quite tart. And not salty enough for me. No. It's not tart at all. I just said that. You don't know I didn't. I do. I remember things better than you. You don't. You don't. I do. And also, why is it then if you're remembering things? I didn't bring the dog up. I didn't bring the dogs up. Yeah, but why when you keep saying you'll go remembering things, do you like forget things

Starting point is 00:28:39 like that big sheet for the live show? One time eight years ago. Jesus. I'm still saying. I know. You're still, you can't forget that. That's one thing you're years ago, Jesus. I'm still saying. I know, you're still, you can't forget that. That's one thing you're good at fucking remembering. I will never fucking forget that. It was the one thing in the whole of that adventure that we had that I asked you to do. The one thing. The only one thing. I can't believe you're bringing it up again. I'm having more of the sauce. Well good, have more of that. You're making me come for eat this sauce by having it go with it. Let's carry on to the next one then. Okay.

Starting point is 00:29:06 What are we doing? That's not too bad. It's a bit sweeter. I can see that working with a burger. It's very subtle. Yeah, you'd have that with a hot dog with some mustard. You could stomach that if it was with a hot dog or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:29:16 I mean, as I say, it's not really... I'll give it 3.5 out of 5. It's not really fair to judge this when you're just dopping it on a spoon and then putting it in your gob bowl. Right, now... What's Squirty Ted or whatever it's called? It's Ed Squirty Ted sauce. Ed Sheeran's complete, like he did fuck all.

Starting point is 00:29:30 He turned up and said, I'll take a picture of this. With my big raggedy face and I'll fucking say it, my teddy bear made it. Why does he get to be like the arch sort of capitalist? No, it's because it's like all celebrities these days. They can't just be known to sing. They have to have perfume and a clothesline and a sauce. Oh, his face has got all muffy. I've done the muff muff. Let's have a huff of the muff. It's not good. There's a real bitterness coming in through on the nose for me there. A floral bitterness, like a... Yeah, like... Like Palmer Violets. No, like surface cleaner, like Flash. Yeah, like Palmer Violets. No, like surface cleaner, like flash. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:30:05 Like an artificial floweriness. Like stomach bile when you've been sick. It's a bitterness, yeah. It's that kind of... Yeah, it's not a great smelling sauce, is it? Oh, this could be even worse. But then, it could be one of these situations where it's like smell bad, taste good. It could be.

Starting point is 00:30:22 Because the cheese was like smell good, taste bad. It was a bit meh, the flavour. Yeah, yeah. Of the cheese, but. And I know we want to hate this sauce a bit, don't we? But isn't that good smell? It's not great. I would like to know genuinely how much input Ed Sheeran had into the flavour profile of this. I mean, does he really care? I reckon he stole it from another sauce company and changed it a little bit. Yeah. And then it had a big hit. Yeah, he squirted some onto his spoon and I'm gonna administer. It comes out quite vigorously. So, you know. I'll watch out.

Starting point is 00:30:49 See what I mean? It's quite runny. It's more runny than the cheese sauce, that's for sure. It's about the consistency of a Sriracha. It actually smells like a knockoff ketchup. Like a kind of lower than low greasy spoon. Really unpleasant. That thing that you identified, which I call a sort of bitter floral florality. It's almost like an artificial lemon tang, isn't it?

Starting point is 00:31:10 Right, well here it goes. I'm not looking forward to this. Down the teeth and past the gums, look out Tommy, here it comes. It's too vinegary. It's awful. It's just vinegar. Yes, it's very tart, very sharp, very vinegary. But then there's that bitterness.

Starting point is 00:31:22 It leaves a tingle. There's some heat there. It leaves a tingle, but it's mostly vinegar. It's not a nice flavour. It's not a nice flavour. Considering how dark that is in terms of its colour red, it's kind of like a really fiery red colour, the flavour suggests to me, weirdly, like it almost tastes like a green sauce. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:31:37 It's that weird, do you know what I mean about the weird palma violet-y sort of, that's there on the tongue as well as the nose, isn't it? It's not very good. But it's too vinegary. It's just a vinegary sauce. Too vinegary and there's an unpleasant bitterness underneath it, I think we can say, can't we? A bit like this podcast. Let's go on to the final one, the Del Primo green salsa or whatever you said it was. Can I have a mark for the cheese and for the...

Starting point is 00:32:00 Oh yeah, I haven't. So the cheese, not for me, two out of five, but maybe in context of the burger, it might go up a point. That one, the Ed Sheeran 1.5, it's a runny vinegary mess with a little bit of heat. Look for the price, which is three quid I think that is, you can you can do much better for three quid elsewhere. You really could, you really could. I can't think of top my head but I'm pretty sure. An Encona, that's not nice and it, and it had little lumpy bits in as well. The consistency wasn't great either.

Starting point is 00:32:27 It was bitty. It was a bit bitty. Bitty. A bit gritty, in fact. Yeah. So not a great consistency either. Ronnie and Bitty. Yeah, which is not good.

Starting point is 00:32:34 No, Ronnie and Bitty also name of a Russian cartoon series. That's it. That's the gag. I think this is a famous traditional green sauce. Come on. Nice glass bottle. This is a nice chunky bottle. It kind of reminds me of like a... Oh, that's lovely. Oh man, the odor.

Starting point is 00:32:51 It kind of looks like a Snapple bottle. Yeah. Doesn't it? It's got the same kind of lid. I just think that's easily the nicest smelling sauce of the three. Oh, it's quite delicate, but it's very grassy. It's very, very grassy. Not vinegary grassy like that one. It's a bright... Or Andre grassy, I guess. Andre de grassy. It's very grassy. But not vinegary grassy like that one. It's a bright... Or André grassy, I guess.

Starting point is 00:33:08 André de grassy. Yeah. Yeah. He went to de grassy. Now I think this is going to be the most watery. No, it's quite thick actually. Certainly no runnier than the other one. But the smell is like, it's so much more nuanced.

Starting point is 00:33:18 It's lighter. It's more vegetabley. There's a tomatoiness to it as well. An umami sort of sweetness to that odour. You see, no, I'm getting a seltzer-y thing from this. Yeah, I mean it's salsa verde. Yeah, true, I guess, yeah. It is salsa, essentially.

Starting point is 00:33:30 All right, well I'm gonna go. Which just means sauce anyway. Slap it down me gobble. That's subtle. It's not too flavourful, but with like a Dorito scoopy. Oh, that's nice. I think that's really nice. It's got, yeah, it's the milder.

Starting point is 00:33:42 It's much milder than the Ed's, than the cherry. It's not show-offy. It's kind of there to compliment other things. There is some heat there, but it has quite a nice mouth feel, it's quite a nice, coat-y, you know? It's a lot more watery than I expected. It is, that's what I'm trying to tell you. It's the thinnest. But you have that on an egg, it'd be lovely on eggs, eggs and cheese, eggs and beans, put it in some beans, I'd have that on anything.

Starting point is 00:34:03 Well I was just thinking you could pour pour over some hot tortilla chips and stuff. Absolutely, as a part of a nacho, cheesy nacho set up. Not with that cheesy flavour sauce, Hellmann's nonsense. I mean I'd go for that. You would, because you're a beast. Now, what would you say for the Del Primo green sauce? 3.5, it's unremarkable. Was that your favourite of the three then?

Starting point is 00:34:21 Yeah, but it's unremarkable, but it's fine. It's a whole category, I think that your favourite of the three then? Yeah, but it's unremarkable, but it's fine. It's a whole category. I think that's just a decent salsa verde. And I again, I liked it. I mean, I like that. 4.25. I'm just going to do 3.5. Now, to conclude, we really want to get hold of some of that pickle flavoured Heinz ketchup.

Starting point is 00:34:40 When you want some lovely sauce and you know that of course it's salsa verde That's a salsa verde Salsa verde Um, we also want to get some of that uh Heinz Everthing sauce Yeah well Of course we have, but famously we have tried on this segment before Paul, the all purposes sauce Didn't we get that?

Starting point is 00:35:00 Indonesian all purpose sauce Didn't we get that? And I'm, you know what I'm using that for now? Uh, lube Uh, well that as well what I'm using that for now? Lube. Well, that as well, but I'm also using it to... Chapstick. To write CVs. You're writing your CVs in that sauce?

Starting point is 00:35:13 No, with the sauce it's all-purpose. It does everything. Oh, that's good, because I use it to run my car, because it's all-purpose. Yeah, I actually drive it around. Yeah, and you know what? I give it to sea mammals, because they're all-purpose. PORPUS! Eli! Like a dolphin, perhaps! I drive it around. Yeah, and you know what I give it to sea mammals because they're all porpoise Eli like a dolphin perhaps

Starting point is 00:35:32 Puypus Puypus yeah Anyway, oh, it's really good. It's all really good at like soaking things up good. You know, it's it's all poor It's boys or a little porous. Yeah, you see what I'm saying? Always fucking headphones have come off. He's so angry. Why are you angry? It's getting dark in here. It's getting dark in here. Right, let's move on to the part of the show that involves having a bit of a laugh, because

Starting point is 00:35:53 this is all bollocks in it, ladies and gentlemen. Come on. So, I ask you, what podcast needs a source report? No podcast does. It's a waste of time. It is not. Isn't it? Eli, let's admit it was a waste of time. I'm interested in bringing source information to the masses, Paul. I

Starting point is 00:36:09 don't care what you say. It's a stalwart. It's a pillar of this podcast. It's a foundational pillar of the podcast supporting, oh, the whimsy, oh, the dreams, the dreams of our listeners, the shared dreams of us and our listeners moving forward. Here's what I think. Moving forward into the land, striding through the land. Here's what I think. Give sauce in hand, squirt it, squirt it under my armpits. Oh, rub it in. You see, now he's got nothing to say. Rub it into the grotch. He's got nothing now. He's just rambled. It's just a ramble. I'm going to have an outdoor naked sauce bath. Mad ramble now. Yeah, here it goes. Cheese it, cheese it,

Starting point is 00:36:48 cheese it. Here we go, how about this? Red sky at night, shepherd's delight, green seltzer in morning, oh my arsehole is yawning. Is that over there? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Paws Pleasant Past Times are a gentler experience. Who's that over there? No. Who's that over there? No, Paws Past Times is more like this. Ready? Alright.

Starting point is 00:37:34 Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle, tinkle, Paws Pleasant Past Times. Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle, tinkle, tinkle too. That kind of thing, that vibe, innit? I'll go for it then. Yeah, go on. I can make it, yeah. I know where this is. I'm getting the vibe. I know where this is gonna fucking go.

Starting point is 00:37:47 We all know. Such a tired joke. No, Paul, I'm really serious. No, I know. No, I know. I've taken on board. No, you're really serious. No, I trust you, mate.

Starting point is 00:37:56 Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I have taken on board exactly what you said. And I really want you to enjoy this, Paul, okay? Yeah, go on. I want you to enjoy this. No, I'm gonna put my full faith and trust in you. Yeah, go on. I want you to enjoy this. I'm going to put my full faith and trust in you. Yeah, go on. So I've taken on board what you're going to say,

Starting point is 00:38:09 and I'll just do another. This isn't final. This isn't the final. Long march to a fucking poor destination. Are you ready? I sadly am. What's over there? Yeah, I know.

Starting point is 00:38:22 Good. No, good, good, good content. Who? Is it one of you? Who is it? Who's that? I'm not sure. Good. No, good. Good. Good content. Who's that? You ruined this. What you got? is a segment of the show where we play some pleasant pastimes. It's a game, Paul. A game of some sort which can be called a pastime.

Starting point is 00:38:50 Yeah, but it's not, I don't understand. Don't give a shit. Don't be belligerent for no reason. Save your belligerence for when it matters. Otherwise- Pedantry, I think you'll find. Same difference. I want you to just dampen it.

Starting point is 00:39:00 I need you to put a pin in it. Dampen my arder? Yes, I need you to dampen it, please. Put a pin in it would be saving it for later. Yeah, maybe. Save it for a moment. You don't want it to ever come back. No. You know what pisses me off, Paul?

Starting point is 00:39:10 Now we're on the subject. It's what I'm saying. Everything does. So then it needs nothing. You're saying put a pin in it. I'll put a pin in you. I will bash a big pin. Where's it gonna go? Right in your unworthy meters.

Starting point is 00:39:21 But then that wouldn't actually hurt because it wouldn't touch the sides. Do you want to try it? Think about it. Do you want to try it? I have. Would you allow me? I did it with a handle and those scissors, don't you remember? How about I take a safety pin and I bend it out from the catch, straighten it. From the catch? The catch at the top of the safety pin. What's the safety pin? The safety, what do you mean what's the safety pin? Oh my god. What's it even doing? I would straighten out a safety pin. Oh that's's nice. Oh, that's nice. Everyone wants to hear that.

Starting point is 00:39:48 Everyone wants to hear that, don't they? You're going to stab my dick with a pin, are you? I'll tell you what, I've taken it into consideration. I've said what you said, I'm filtering it out, and let me do it again, alright? Let me see where it's going. So I'm going to straighten the pin, and I'm going to put it in your fucking meters. What game are we playing on the fucking

Starting point is 00:40:04 Paul's pleasingasing Pastimes? This was a game I saw in the charity shop round the corner from you actually, that one. I had this for a while, that one. Raise My Voice Foundation? Yes. With an extremely high funk content. There's a lot of funk content there. And it's called Snake Oil by a company called Out of the Box and it's apparently got a

Starting point is 00:40:21 little thing in the corner. What do you call that again? What's that called? A rosette or whatever? Yeah, I think it is. It's not a pendant. Is it a pendant? No, it's apparently got a little thing in the corner and what do you call that again? What's that called? The rosette or whatever? Yeah I think it is, it's not a pendant, is it a pendant? No it's not a pendant. A pendant hangs. Yeah this is more of a calisthenic pin. That's a rosette? Yeah. I haven't heard that word out loud in years. No one has. I like it, you could put a rosette right over your bumhole couldn't you? Yeah you could. And it'd be like saying best British lamb or something, I don't know. Yeah it would be best British lamb. Yeah anyway it says on the... Red sky at night, shepherd's pie. Shepherd's pie... Oi! Oi!

Starting point is 00:40:51 Shepherd's pie at night, bum curry coming out all day. There's nothing there. What's it called? Snake oil. Says the best party game in the world on the rosette. Who's awarded that rosette? But it's playing on the theme of snake oil, isn't it? Because snake oil... Oh, you know what? You see there, it's meta, isn't it, almost? Yeah, that's what they're doing because snake oil obviously is a byword for a fake, a medicine that has...

Starting point is 00:41:18 That has no redeeming qualities, it is just a bunch of shit. No efficiency in being a medicine, but is trumped up to have all sorts of properties. Yeah, it has like, oh, it can cure your arthritis or your headaches or help with your spine It has no efficiency in being a medicine, but is trumped up to have all sorts of properties. Yeah, it has like, oh, it can cure your arthritis or your headaches or help with your spine or your digestion. It does everything. Yeah, everything. When actually it's just probably molasses and sugar.

Starting point is 00:41:33 A lot of the time it's about keeping maintaining wood, isn't it? That's how they sell so much crap to men over the years. Is that why it's called snake oil then? Oil for your snake? No, it's because in the 1800s in America, you had people actually selling snake oil and saying it would do all sorts of stuff. That it came from the oil of a snake and this oil would make your glands work. Yeah, because you've got basically, you think about it, they're sort of out there in America

Starting point is 00:41:56 and there's all sorts of snakes and stuff. They just stick it in a cauldron, boil it down, stick it in some bottles and then off the back of an old timey wagon go oh my snake oil! Yeah, I love that though. I like that stereotype of the snake oil salesman in American history. The guy who sits there and he's all gab, you know. Ladies and gentlemen, I'll tell you about the most electrifying, superfying, electrifying, as supposed to be known to man. Huxter. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:42:21 Huxterism. Made from 17 special ancient Indian spices from the white man who wouldn't share it. It would be snakes. You know what I mean? 70 different snakes. I'm just saying and pontificating on the eye. You could name 17 snakes. I could. Alan the snake, David snake, Bill snake. Bill's not a snake.

Starting point is 00:42:38 He is. He's a lizard with... No, he told me he was a snake and who am I to judge? He came round here? Yeah, Bill snake came round. But when Bill snake came round here? Yeah, Bill Snake came round. Bill Snake came round here, he didn't tell me. Well Bill Snake said to keep it on the low because he's on the run.

Starting point is 00:42:49 When I was at Sainsbury's, I can't believe the disrespect from him, he's been right up my bum. Anyway, Greg Snake, there's also Greg, Dan, Colin. You can't think of 17 men's names. Belinda. Didn't say they were all male snakes, did I? How many have we got? Karen Snake. Alan. You can't think of 17 men's names! Belinda. Didn't say they were all male snakes, did I? Right, how many have we got? Karen Snake.

Starting point is 00:43:07 Alan? I can just name names! You can't name names. Billy Snake. You've said that already, Phil. Bob Snake. Carl Snake. You're getting personal now.

Starting point is 00:43:15 Graham Snake. Neil Snake. We're just saying! Over and over! I do, I'm enjoying this actually. Eli Snake. Paul Snake. Ian Snake.

Starting point is 00:43:24 Karen Snake. Barbara Snake. Valerie Snake, Ian Snake, Karen Snake, Barbara Snake, Valerie Snake, Patricia Snake, Tina Snake, Janet Snake. Shut up, it's really weird to be on the present. I love it. Anyway, let's play the game. That was so enjoyable. I will say the front of it has a little bottle of the snake. Janet snake. Cassandra snake. Okay. All right. Oh, it does say here, a national competition winner Mensa Select. Okay. Let's explain the rules very quickly. Cool. It's a card game and it's similar to card games we've done in the past. It falls into the same world as like, you know, cards against humanity, that kind of logic. Could I just say one thing here, Paul? You say card game, but I think technically it's more of a sort of parlour game that uses

Starting point is 00:44:10 cards to import the information. Do you see what I'm saying? Fine. But it's not a board game is what I'm basically saying, right? It's a card based game. It's based on cards, but it's a parlour game or it's a game of wit, you know. And who can be the wittiest? It's all subjective fun.

Starting point is 00:44:24 So the idea is there's a pile of cards here which have professions on, like Bouncer it says there, Gangster, Cowboy, etc. Right? And you will, for the first round, for example, pick a card from random and that will be you. You're that customer, right? Meanwhile, I will deal myself six of these other green cards. Okay, there's loads of those. And on these cards, they just have things like crowd, belly, kit, horn, nest. Just words. And the idea is when you come in as your character

Starting point is 00:44:50 I have to sell you something made of two cards I've pulled from my hand of six. Okay. Right and then basically I do something funny and then you say it wasn't and then it's your turn. Again we can't play it properly because there's only us judging each other. You have to play it with three minimum. Yeah. But well let's just see. Let's have a game. Let's just use it as a comedy improvisational exercise, right? A springboard is the word you're looking for. A springboard to greater comedy possibilities. Well, if all worse comes to worse, I can bring back Distractoid and he could... And I've got Bob Snake and Janet Snake. Bob and Janet Snake, really lovely neighbours next door. Ember Dink Snake.

Starting point is 00:45:26 No. How dare you say... Enrique Snake. Yeah, Rico Snake. Mmm, La Bamba. I don't know why I'm saying that. Let's just start this game. I'd love to. So Eli is now shuffling the professional cards. And I should, we should mention these have, they're double sided, so they've got professions

Starting point is 00:45:48 on the green side. Yeah. They're not professions really. They're job titles or characteristics or archetypes maybe. They're here couch potato, that's not a job. That's not a job. Unless you're a YouTuber. Beach bum.

Starting point is 00:46:00 I mean, YouTuber. Also not a job, but very related couch potatoes and beach bums. Yeah. If you took a couch potato, dropped him out of the couch onto the beach. He'd be a beach bum. And then you'd take him back with a big crane. You'd have to take the roof off the house, but you could knock him back down on the couch. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:46:14 Or you could stick a potato up a beach bum, couldn't you? Why does veg and fruit just go up arses all the time? Because, mate. Because it's what I like. It's what I like. Oh, be me there to what I like. Ooh, blue river. That's definitely a pineapple. Shuffle, I'm shuffling until Eli says stop.

Starting point is 00:46:38 I am a secret admirer. And now you've got to pick two cards out of there to create an item to sell to me as a secret admirer But when you pick the two cards put the other four down you got those two cards I do right in that case Let's begin our little Vignette for you now roll up roll up. It's Eli de wilde bus and my Special products. I'm the world's greatest inventor. I've invented my way out of a paper bag. It was called the paper bag ripper.

Starting point is 00:47:11 Eli de Wildebus, come on, come on, come down. Oh, Sonny Jim, are you in the market for an innovative invention? Oh, damn. market for an innovative invention? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:47:26 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:47:34 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:47:42 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. the thing for you do you do you oh I've liked you for quite some time I've admired your your sauces and oils I like your special ingredients I've always wanted to yeah that was miles away in Hicksville Ohio I've come all this way and to see a really interesting... mmm... now by anything... Well, I've got a fish that. You can hang it up. I've gone right off you. Why?

Starting point is 00:48:28 You just look fatter in real life, don't you? Oh, that's not very nice. You stink. All the fish have been brushing. Your clothes are hanging off you. You know, what's wrong with your hat? Why is your horse half dead? I've been shagging it.

Starting point is 00:48:40 Have you? Is that the best you could come up with, Mr Silverman? This game sucks. Right? I've said it! What are you meant to do? I don't understand. You're meant to try and get something to appeal to a secret admirer. Then there's no one else here, it's just you to appeal to him with a fish brush, how? This game sucks, I don't understand what I'm trying to do. You be the secret admirer and then I'll pick two cards from my hand then and we'll do it that way so if I can out do it Okay, two cards

Starting point is 00:49:07 You're the secret admirer. I'll come in again. Okay. All right. I got this. Hello. Hello I'm Artemis T Nickelbacker and I am here with my wonderporium avoidance and oils. Oh, oh welcome in sir Well, that's my wonderful shop, sir. How can I help you sir? I'm looking for a certain special somebody Oh, you now sir. How can I help you sir? I'm looking for a certain special somebody Oh, you know sir. How can I help you out? Might be persuaded to make a purchase for someone if I'm while I wait for that certain special someone. Well I tell you I might be in the room right now. Well sir I think I've got something for you that will just pique your interest I'm guessing. Something's peeking. Let me show you there sir. It is a... Something's peeking out my fly. It is a dancing puppet sir. It's the end of my knob. It's a dancing puppet. It's the end of my

Starting point is 00:50:04 knob. And it's a puppet in the shape and design of my good self, Artemis T. Nickelbacker, sir. And you just press this little button on its back and it does this. Oh, what happens? Nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, other things. Let me see sir. I'll take two. We've only got the one sir. I'll take it. Here you go sir, take this and you'll treat it well. I love it, it's like taking me home with you. Right, we've flipped the cards over now so they're not blue, it is green. We're on the green side.

Starting point is 00:50:50 Right, and here we go, I'll let you pick it again. So green side up. I'm going to give it a shiff-shiff-shuff. We've given six cards, six new cards to each other now, so we've got six new items that we've made each other. We do give them to each other, we took them ourselves. You know what I'm getting at. They don't need to know all the fucking minutiae of what we do behind the scenes.

Starting point is 00:51:04 I know, but you make it more complicated than it needs to at. I don't need to know all the fucking my news shape What we do behind the scenes? I know but you make it more complicated than I don't I make it more intimate I make it sound more intimate and loving You know what I mean? I'm trying to are you ready to stop on a forge of bond with you weird guy now Are you ready to tell me to stop stop right? What's on the top? What have you got clown? Oh, you went to clown school sir right, okay? So you're gonna clown coming into my shop, and I'm gonna pick two items here. Oh, what's this? Oh, okay, I have a- here we go, here we go, sir. I'm just gonna open up my shop! Artemis T.P. Rick Nickelbackers Wondeporium!

Starting point is 00:51:37 Here we go! I wonder who my first customer will be! Goo! Hello! I'm Ponzu! You look like a clown, sir, with your big nose and your funny hair! Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Go! Go! Not in me go! I've got big feet! Oh sir! Go Ponzo! Are you one of those unfunny clowns like the ones in Cirque du Soleil sir? Please call me Ponzo! Ponzo sir!

Starting point is 00:52:14 Go! How long have you been one of those great clowns? Oh as long as my nose! Go! I fucking hate this character! Absolutely finding tiresome already. Right sir, shut up sir, why don't I give you something that I think a clown like you deserves? No stroke needs sir. Excuse me. This is something that you've been crying out for, it is.

Starting point is 00:52:38 I'm crying too. I give you some Artemis P. Nickelbackers foot butter sir. Foot butter. Now you wear those big, oversized comedy shoes, don't you, sir? I see him right now, flip-flapping around. And I guarantee, sir, that they chafe and they roughage and they scrape upon the inside of those leather heels, sir, don't they, don't they, don't they?

Starting point is 00:53:01 Well, with Artemis T. P. Nickelbackers have won the painted Foot Butter, sir, you just slide it in. You get the lid off and you slide it in. Boo, where's the man gone? Boo! This is... Where's Mr. Rickenbacker gone? This is his assistant, Arnold Plod.

Starting point is 00:53:19 Oh. You just sniff it in. You just slip the butter in, Mr. Hugh. And then do I have my feet in a sandwich because it's buttered, Boo? No, it's just to slip it in, you just slip the butter in this you. And then do I have my feet in a sandwich because it's buttered, boo? No, it's just a slip slide it in. Do I put the foot butter on the sandwich? It's just a slip slide it in, isn't it? It's just a slip slide it in.

Starting point is 00:53:35 Boo! It's just a slip slide it in. You put it in the socket and you slip slide it in. I'm going to. Would you, this is, uh, so sir, would you like some foot butter? No. All right, good then. Right, I'm... This is it now everyone.

Starting point is 00:53:48 That's the pass. No, I'm doing it. No, you just did it. You were the... Oh yeah, that's right. Clown. I was the clown. Yeah, so now you tell me when you wish me to stop. Stop.

Starting point is 00:53:56 Oh, I am a bouncer! Now you've got to go for your cards and pick out two of them to form an item that you tried to sell to me. A bouncer. Come one, come all, it's E.I.T. Wilderbus and this is my emporium of fantastic inventions. Oh I've got everything. Can't get the bogeys out from up on your nose. You need one of my painted scrapers. I call it a Wilderbus.

Starting point is 00:54:22 Have you got dick cheese an inch thick on your own Johnson? Now you need one of my painted. Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on Then you can spread the muck ins all over the bread. Oh, all right. Thank you. Oh Excuse me, sir. Sorry. Who are you? Johnny do different takes on that. How many do you want to do? Who are you, sonny? Yeah, yeah, excuse me sir. I couldn't help but notice you don't seem to have any security around your truck. Oh, I don't need that out here, everyone's so nice.

Starting point is 00:54:56 I'm just going to go and say you've got some slightly undesirable people around here, don't you sir? Like who? Well, like that little child right there, nicking your uh chocolate. He's alright. Do we to break his legs? Oh break his legs. I'm a trained professional bouncer sir. I could snap legs snap necks Oh you work in the security industry. I do indeed sir. I just uh I've just been low It's like your security around your truck is quite slim. There's another light there. There's another light there There's another little light there. He's taking your fucking toffee. I'll fucking have him, sir. Do you want to break his leg?

Starting point is 00:55:26 That's not toffee. That's my- What is it? That's what I call my horse. My, that's the old horse dick cramp. Right. Horse cock cramp. Horse dick cramp. It's patented,! I've got just the thing for you! Anyway sir, what have you got? I was wondering if you have anything for a butt sir.

Starting point is 00:55:50 If he can stop at that horse dick cram, good luck to him. What have you got for me sir? Oh I've got something for you, for you, you work in the security industry. I do indeed, yeah. I've got a great thing, because sometimes, what's your name sir if you don't mind me asking? Bob Snake. Bob Snake. Now Bob, Mr Snake, can I call you Bob? No

Starting point is 00:56:08 Can I call you Bobby? You call me Mr Snake Can I call you Bobby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby babyop baby. No. Boop boop baby. You'll call me Mr. Snake. I got the thing for you Mr. Snake. I'm going. No, no, come back please. I got the thing for you. Oh, what have you got for me? I'm a man of the world. Are you sir? I've been in the security game.

Starting point is 00:56:35 Have you sir? Oh yes I have. Yeah. And we both know beneath the veneer sometimes mistakes are made. Did you ever work at that bar? Like the tough one? Honk Chod's. I was the maitre d one? Honk Chods? I was the maitre d'hier at Honk Chods.

Starting point is 00:56:47 There's no such place as Honk Chods, so I've just set you up there. See, that's a bouncer's trick, isn't it? To bounce his trick to get the lies out of you, sir, isn't it? To bounce his trick, I've just pulled out your sir, isn't it? Well done, but listen to me, Mr Fish, uh, Snake. How dare you, sir? Now, I've got just the thing for your job. Oh yes sir.

Starting point is 00:57:06 I'm very interested. Because you and me both know. Because you're skating on very thin ice sir. You and me both know sometimes in the course of doing normal security business you kill people. Sometimes you go too far. I don't want to say I've killed or not killed people sir but I know what you mean. Sometimes we both know.

Starting point is 00:57:22 Yeah I know what you mean sir. It's fine. Sometimes you kill someone. Sometimes, accidentally. You give them a little bop on the face. And then their head hits the pavement. Accidentally, sir. Splat splat. Yeah, sometimes, sir, it's out of your hands, innit?

Starting point is 00:57:32 I got the right thing for you. It's very discreet. It's a corpse boat. Oh, I'm interested, sir. Explain to me more about this corpse boat, sir. It's very lightweight. Let me just give you an idea, sir, of what kind of problem I face.

Starting point is 00:57:46 And then you tell me how that works. So let's just say... I'm all ears, Mr. Horse. Two stuck-up city boys have given me the funny look when I've asked them to leave. Right, sir? You've seen it. We've all seen it. Oh, I've seen those city types. Those fucking little city boys, sir. Those big city types.

Starting point is 00:58:01 And I accidentally maybe pushed one of them in the eye with a knife you know just accidentally and he went down no fault of your own no fault of my own I gave him a warning sir I showed him my badge and accidentally pushed him too hard the knife in the eye and that cut went down so what after this is my motive what is the corpse boat going to do for me in this situation sir well you need a boat these arevis immediate dislocation of a body. Correct me if I'm wrong, Mr. Lizard. But you need a boat quick. You need it to be discreet.

Starting point is 00:58:33 But I'm in Soho, it's 2am sir. Well there is a river of urine and vomit. Well I've already said that. Under the streets of Soho, sir. Riddled with filth. Well it's going down the gutter. Gitty gutty, gitty gutty, dribble drop, or drap. My boat will float on. That's what you're saying. Well it's going down the gutter. Gitty gutty, gitty gutty, dribble, drop, or drop. My boat will float on. That's what you're saying.

Starting point is 00:58:46 I just push him down the grid. You just put, look, I'll demonstrate it for you here. I've got it here. You see this tiny, tiny box? I see it. You press this button. Click clack, clook clack, clook clack clink. A racist Chinese stereo jipe pops out, sir.

Starting point is 00:58:59 No, it goes clicky clack. Oh dear. Anyway, yeah, I see a big boat's arrived. And a boat. And you can stick the corpse on that. And then I'm just swash- shove it. And shove it down the river of Pearson Pugh. Oh, so I stick it down a manhole, do I, sir? You can do that, but then you need to buy another boat.

Starting point is 00:59:13 And hey, hey, I don't mind that at all! I'm open 24 hours a day! I've got boat money, sir. I've got lots of boat money. Hand it over. I'll keep you in corpse boat business for a long time, sir. It's a pleasure to do business with you, Mr. Horse Teeth. I want to bring this up, sir, but it seems like you're being a little bit off of me right now. And you give me a funny look. It's just my job, sir, to keep this.

Starting point is 00:59:34 This is my shop. I'm here to protect your shop, sir. I thought you wanted to buy the corpse boat. I'm feeling very threatened by your... Whoa! Whoa! I'm going to have to... Sir! That's definitely provocation, sir! Oh, don't kill me! I'll just take the corpse boat then.

Starting point is 00:59:45 Take it, get out. A successful sail. Lovely. And a successful sail, Paul. And a sail on the corpse boat as well. I give up there. I've left, I left the shop. Anyway, that's Snake All the Games. Wow, God! Worst episode ever. Might be. We tried. You know, I didn't like that game

Starting point is 01:00:05 I thought I'd like it more maybe we need an adjudicator if we had to battle off against our better I like when we did that superhero thing with before digitizing, you know, we had to kind of present Yeah, but it doesn't just these sort of random. It's I don't know. I tried we all tried. Thanks for listening everybody Yeah, thanks for listening is the sound effect and then we're gonna wrap up God The bouncer was your best character out that lot. Who did Do you like I like bounces bounce about no not from you for me Oh, I did who do you like? Did I like you didn't like anything? I'm trying to think what they again? I know I like you flirty admirer. Oh, you like yeah Tickled me quite considerably and I hope I hope it tickled you too

Starting point is 01:00:43 quite considerably and I hope it tickled you too. Scruffle scruffle. When all is said and done, all you need to know admin-wise is thecheapshow.co.uk. If you want to know more about Cheap Show, if you want to see videos, if you want to have a link to our Patreon, if you want to see dedicated pages to these episodes, they're all on our website. If you want to be a record breaker. It takes dedication as Roy Castle once said. website if you want to be a record breaker it takes dedication as Roy Castle once said um so yeah and also we are supported and kept afloat by the wonderful Patreon supporters who give to us

Starting point is 01:01:12 and we hope we give back in kind with extra podcasts and magazines and videos and behind the scenes stuff it's all there patreon.com forward slash cheap show and if you decide to help us out give what you can but only please if you can. If not, spread the word, social media, share the joy. Thank you very much patrons. We really appreciate the support and we have a new YouTube program, Cheap Show Cheap Shots. Every two weeks we'll be releasing short videos of 15 minutes or so. Ish, give or take.

Starting point is 01:01:42 Talking about one or two things. Yeah, some of the things that we can't fit into a podcast or doesn't really get into it or we decide to leave out or whatever. Either way, it is a fortnightly YouTube Cheap Show bite-sized chunk of joy. And the first one is available on our Cheap Show YouTube channel. Yes, where we try some dry shampoo and some fishy crisps. I enjoyed that. Yes. Anyway, that's on YouTube. It was just a little bit of extra content, really.

Starting point is 01:02:06 If you're a patron, you get access to those videos much earlier. That's it. The live show. All the links to that are on our web page, too. You can get tickets via our website. So, yeah, you won't stop shop the cheepshow.co.uk. And I have a music show on Soho Radio every two weeks. It's called the House of Pickle sound show. It's on Soho Radio.

Starting point is 01:02:24 The last one had this guy, George Hume, he's got a band called Georgie Hume and the Pity Party. It's like nice jazz and you know he did a cover version of the specials. Ghost Town? Yeah. Really good, check it out. Anyway, we just had a band come in and join us now, haven't we? It's a rubber band, isn't it? You know what my favourite thing was from that game actually? It's a rubber band, isn't it? Doom-a-doom-doom-doom-doom-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a-doom-a- week's episode I'll do I know what I can finish with poor I do my pulls pastimes wait those pleasurable pastimes wait red sky at night

Starting point is 01:03:09 shepherds the light horrible 60s song afternoon delights yeah I'm just no that's it I'll do the song I'll do no we're gonna do the song we're done ruin this over there I'm gonna fade this. What's over there? I'm just going to fade this out. What's over there? I'm not even going to say goodbye. This is not worth a goodbye. What's over there? Please, Paul. What's he doing? He's pezzin'. What's he doing? He's moving past him. Where's he going?

Starting point is 01:03:34 Where's he going? Did you hear me? What's going over there? What's he going to do over there? What's he going to do over there? I've stopped this a while ago. That's the bug.

CheapShow - Ep 391: Shepherd's Delight

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