CheapShow - Ep 397: Two Hot Men

Episode Date: August 16, 2024

Sometimes it’s just too hot to record the podcast indoors. On the hottest day of the year, Paul and Eli take the episode outside to craft some sun-baked economy comedy content. However, this is not a “walkabout” episode, not at all! This is a “sitabout” episode. They venture to a quiet meadow near Crouch End called Shepherd’s Cot where they can record the podcast in relative privacy… Apart from all the random nosy dogs and weird men coming out of bushes! This week, Eli has brought along four unusual sodas to sample. Except one isn’t a soft drink. In fact, they’re not sure WHAT it is. Obviously, Eli loves it. Even in the scorching sun, Paul has time to play a game of The Price of Shite and Eli is looking for a victory for a change. Good luck to him! The sun’s out, so the fun’s out! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-397-two-hot-men And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you want to, follow us on Twitter/X @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid www.thecheapshow.co.uk Now on Threads: @cheapshowpod Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Merch Shop: www.redbubble.com/people/cheapshow/shop www.cheapmag.shop Thanks also to @vorratony for the wonderful, exclusive art: www.tinyurl.com/rbcheapshow Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Are we recording? Yes we are, I can see it here. Someone's coming. Are they? There's a lady coming. It's alright, she's a jogger and I think she's just jogging by. I know but I feel weird. Well then don't do a podcast then for a minute. Hello everybody. My name is Paul Gannon and Paul and I, no Eli and I. That's very revealing. Paul and I. It's only me here. It's only me here. Eli's a figment of my imagination. It's like that film without a clue there was no Sherlock Holmes but Watson wrote the stories and created Sherlock Holmes. Played by Michael Caine. Michael Caine. And it's Ben Kingsley playing Watson. Isn't it going to be really good that? It's alright it's alright for what it is. It's aged better.

At the time, it was a little bit in the kind of really, but as the years. Anyway, look, shut up. We're doing a podcast outside. This is not, I need to stress this. This is not a walk about episode. We ain't walking. We ain't walking.

We are sitting in a field where? This is a field. You can talk louder because the microphone can pick it up. She's got, she's off. She's on. She's got her phones in anyway she ain't listening. There's a lady jogger lady walking past anyway and I had a dog sniff my box. Mother bag. The bag sniffed your box. Yeah the dog sniffed my droopy bag. Strudel bag. Strudel the bag. Sorry. Stop

Eli. I often think that. Stop Eli. Hello everybody we're here in Crouch End. Crouch End playing fields it's a sort of complex of cricket grounds and tennis courts but it has this magical old it's a football pitch isn't it but it's become a meadow it's a meadow it has got a goal poster but only at one end so whatever and it's adjoining Shepherd's Hill allotments and then on the other side of the allotments there Paul is Shepherd's Hill recreation ground. Do you remember, you can't get there from here, there should be a path made but it's a lovely, it's all just down from Highgate, do you remember and there's that sort of little

park and it's on a hillside, that's just up there. But we're not there, we're in this meadow called Shepherds Cop or something what was it called? Cot. Cot. Shepherds Cot. Is it Cot? I think it was Cot. This isn't part of the Cot though? No this is a meadow adjoining the Cot. This is a lovely little meadow and you can walk. A medlet. You can walk. Indeed it is it's not a pastry though. No it's not. I mean we both can agree on that. It's not narrow enough is it to be a pastory. It's too broad. It's definitely too wide to be a pastory. Broad. You can get here all the way up to Highgate Wood and Queenswood

which are up the hill that way. And Alley Pally is up that way as well. And Alley Pally is actually visible but behind that stand of trees. Yeah. So it's 33 degrees here in London today. And I didn't want to do an episode in your flat today just in all honesty, or my flat to be honest. If it gets above about 25 in our flat there's no air conditioning. It's not good. It is unbearable. And my flat becomes a sweat box too. It does yeah. but listen, that's why we're out in the Meadow Record. It's just an episode. It just happens to be outside. It's really weird doing this podcast with these headphones on listening because we've got the lapel mics on. So if the sound quality is odd or different, this is why we're using these. But we've got the headphones on and it just feels like everything's robotic. Well, I can hear my voice coming back to me.

Welcome to the future. I am Paul Bott. Everything is going to be robotic in the future. Is it? Yes. Prove it. I'm reaching into my pants. It's for your Android dongs.

Robo-dick. Robo-dongs. Oh, man. That's poor, poor stuff from us there. Anyway, look, this is what you're getting this week. You're getting a very hot, lazy... Sorry, everyone. Yeah, sorry, everyone.

But we do have some things to do. We do, so should we get on with it? What's coming up on the show today, Paul? We've got the credits in now. We are, everybody. Here's the credits. Cheap show to the murder boy. Cheap show to the murder boy.

It's the Heise of Shave. Welcome to Cheap Show. Right hello welcome to Cheap Show it's the Economy Comedy Podcast where I'm Eli and me Mr Paul Gannon go through the Barker bins, charity shops and power lines of Great Britain and bring back the trash, treasure fun fungal, there you get it. Anyway. Fungal rash. Anyway. Hey!

What? Fungal rash. I've got treasure in my fungal rash. Niblets. Sorry. Anyway, hello. Nibble grots. Nibble grots.

I've got foliage. Foamy foliage. Foamy foliage with nibble grots, a tumble. I've got rashes all over my legs. He does have rashes. He's got that in hives, everyone. Hives. This is what he does for the art of his pod.

Hello, everyone. I'm Eli Silverman. I've got a little clue there to what is coming up. What is coming up? We could do it right now. We're starting with drinks, aren't we? Yeah, because it's too hot to put effort in. So let's just get this one out of the way and come worry about next week because next week's a stressy one because next week we are recording episode 400 and

basically you're getting two 400s for the price of one. The real episode 400 will be a YouTube video episode. Wouldn't that be 800 to 400? Yes, it would. But also there is a podcast, but it won't be what you see on YouTube. It's going to be something very different. It's going to be tossed off. So anyway, look, we got a lot going on next week. So I'm stressing about that.

I'm always stressing. But it's going to be good, we're going to do a lot of fun. We're going to do a lot of fun for Fondue. We'll do a lot of fun next week. A nice video. Oh what? There's a fly on your foot. Oh that fly is a fine.

I didn't, I know it was a horse fly or something. Oh I don't want one of them. You definitely come out in bad hives. Look at it. Look at your legs, wow. It looks like a scar omelette. Sclomblitt. No, no. Sclomblette. Sclomelette.

No, no. Sclomelette. Sclomelette. My gribble's in the sclomelette. It's itchy. It's hot. I'm itching, sweating my dirty tits off. Maybe I'll put my fan on. I would say that the level of focus today is at an historically low level. And for us, that's saying something. Yeah, but what would

be worse us putting in barely any effort for an episode in the heat or just not doing it at all. Probably not doing it at all actually. Our reputation can't get much lower. No that's it we're in like Flynn. I've brought my Thermos Cafe by Thermos. This is for a food but it's also good for big mixology style ice cubes which I've got two of today. Right. It's needed and that's for... Oh they're stuck together. They do don't they.

Now what are you going to do? Oh he's got his ice big ice clubs are stuck together. Oh mate there's a dodgy bloke over there in a yellow shirt and he looks really old. What's going on? He's eating berries. Blackberries. Oh he is. He is eating them. He is, he's eating berries. Well that's not suspect is it? No but I don't know, his movement's a very kind of slender manish. He's got a nice red hat on. Are you bashing your ice? Got it, got it. There's your ice mate. Oh yeah, in the glass it goes. In the glass it goes.

Right, sweet. So anyway, it's hot. We're kicking off with some lovely refreshments that Eli's picked up. What refreshments have you got Mr Silverman in this episode of Cheap Show Anno Domini 2024? I have a special edition. No, he's talking right into the mic now, so it's better, closer quality, isn't it, when he speaks right into the mic and not looks off into the other direction?

Eye-rection? Eye-rection. That's when you're... They've got an eye boner on. No, there's a joke there. When you see something sexy, you get an eye-rection. It's hard to read. What?

What do you mean hard to read? It's hard, your eye boner when it's hard... read. What? What do you mean hard to read? It gets hard, your eye bone are winning and it's hard. Let's work on this outside. Oh what's this? Eye pro student recommended by Parkland Berry Mix. Five of your one a day. This shop, I went to this shop especially because Paul said to me, get some funny, do you think you can get some funny sodas for Monday?

I didn't say funny. Unusual. Unusual yeah. I can look at the text right now and see what you actually said. Yeah but let's not. Okay. Something like that. I didn't say get some whackadoo flavours.

Just get some unusual. You know what I am not having this from you. I am going to look at what I actually said. Unusual I bet. Let me just scroll through. How are you darling, miss you, love you very much. I dreamt about you last night. Scroll through.

Blah, blah, blah. Oh wait I can't see it. Maybe I left it as a voice message. Therefore I don't have any, there is no literal physical proof. It doesn't matter. You asked me to get sodas and I have come through. You have. A shop sprang to mind on West Green Road, a shop called Green Foods.

Green Foods everybody. And it's like a, like you get around my part of North London, you get extremely diverse multicultural grocery stores basically that have everything from Chinese noodles at one end to Turkish olives at the other. And you get, they have a really big soft drinks fridge. And I just, there's so many soft drinks out now. Sometimes too many. This one caught my eye because it was only a quid.

Yeah. Right, so that's a decent price. But what is going on with these products? It's called iPro Student recommended by Parkrun so it's what it's linked into some other product or something you know. Isn't Parkrun like like an app or something where you can go running in the park and it tracks I don't know. It must be something like that maybe a fitness app so it's either way it's in part with that it's all bollocks.

Berry mix and it says one of your five a day. Fruit. Real fruit juice concentrate. Right, that's good then, isn't it? No artificial colors or flavors, no added sugar. So it might be all right. All right, well, let's find out. It's just the sort of absolute AI tinged garbage

of what it's called. You know what I mean? Why can't you call a product that? It's been designed. I pro student recommended by Parkrun. It's been designed if you ask me right to kind of look very comfortable on like like a gym wall full of drinks yeah you know like with all the protein powders and everything it's got that same design it's just but it's just nonsense. Nonsense. Anyway we'll be trying it

very cheap very other flavors available yeah I'm going to give it the old Huffadoo. And what have we got? It smells like a bit like babynner with a little bit of apple juice or something. I'm going to pour it in. There we go. I think this will be alright. It is berry mix flavour. Which is what? Strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, blackcurrants, Nickberry, Chuckberry. Nickberry and Chuckberry should have turned up and called themselves the Berry Mix and did songs together. That would have been good wouldn't it? Yes. They were alive They could. Every loser would. They were alive at the same time. I don't know why their people didn't come up with the idea and do it.

Probably because Chuck Berry, as well as being one of the greatest and most influential musicians of the 20th century, was a big scat weirdo. He was the scat man. We bop bop bop bop. He was problematic. Anyway, are we we gonna taste this? You know what it tastes like to me? Melted Mr Freeze Berry or strawberry or blackberry melted ice lolly. It hasn't got a very very intense sweetness. No. It tastes like oasis

or something just one of those you know. There's a lot of fuss over nothing. That's not very good. Not sickly. It's fine. But I want more tartness still. I want a bit more bite. I wish it wasn't so watery. The flavour isn't very good. It's fine. It's for a quid.

It's not bad. It's a juicy thing, isn't it? Yeah, it's fine for what it is. Leave it out so I can take a picture later for the website. Right, moving on to our next item. We're moving on to our next item, yes, aren't we? I'm trying to go here in order of excitingness. So that's the least exciting.

Yeah. All right, fine, we're good, we're going. We're doing this. This, I wanted to try. What is it? Sunkist Mango Orange. Sunkist used to be a brand. It did, well I mean it still is.

No, but it used to be a British brand, and I don't think it is here anymore as a brand in Britain. And it wasn't soft drink cans, was it? It was like Sunny D, wasn't it? It was like weird... Oh, I don't know, mate. Let's not do internet. It's not an internet research episode. You may have seen guys, Paul doesn't want to do nothing. No, it's just...

Do you want to do nothing? Let's just do nothing. Let's just... We could just have... Nosh this off. Nosh this off, indeed. We could have field ambience for the next 40 minutes. Would you like that ladies and gentlemen field ambience? Here we go. Here's some What a lovely bit of ambience lovely what a lovely bit of ambience how all the podcast gives you field ambience However, I think the no podcast Yeah, cuz it's just shit

However I think... No podcast. Yeah. Because it's a shit idea. Anyway, Sunkist. I think you might be right. I think it might have been a carton or a packet wallet type thing. It was, it was something like that. It was slightly sunny D adjacent. Sunny D adjacent. But now I think it is basically a sort of Hong Kong Far East brand because you see it in all of those Asian grocers right with multiple things and this is their mango orange this is a sparkly it definitely wasn't a sparkly drink when it was in the UK are you ready

for this what do you think? Do you like mango orange as an idea? So I am not a huge fan of mango I kind of find the flavor weird. Oddly savory almost. It's like sweet beef. Yeah it has a sort of almost meaty like fruit steak yeah yeah that's what I like about it it's a rich flavor it's not just a yeah yeah what's the Huff report, Mr Silverman? It's got that artificial mango going on. Oh, here we go. It just smells exactly like what they say it is.

Yeah. It actually smells. Do you know what it smells like? Like when Lynx Aftershave did fruity scents or something, it's got that weird Lynx hand wash. Fruits of Link's hand wash. Fruits of the summer hand wash. Yeah, it really does. Yeah, you're absolutely right.

Tropical Fruit Radox Special Edition. It is. It is, it is. I mean, they must use similar aromatic chemicals, you know. All right. I'm getting coconut there. Yeah, there's a little bit of a weird coconut note. That's because mango, coconut and pineapple, especially they're artificial counterparts, there's something similar about all of them aren't there. I think they use the same, there's definitely a coconut

vibe there isn't there, but you can also see it as a sort of pineapple vibe. It's definitely got that kind of creamy note that melon has. Why was that funny? Why was that funny? Why are you being sick in a cup? What's going on? I don't know man, that melon has. That was a weird moment. I don't know why you found that so amusing. It was amusing to me man, I sorry. Right it was alright that. I mean it's better than the other. I think it was better than that. I enjoyed it more it was carbonated which has a better.

How's your big ice cube doing? Going so far so good. What have we got next on the list. Right you finished having a face shit. Sorry it's just the melon I wasn't expecting the word melon there because I had mentioned coconut and then you were carrying on the sentence and you were sort of agreeing with me and then melon came up and I hadn't said melon that is what got me. Sorry everyone.

Here we go. Ok Paul. Here we go. Now this is we did a taste test which I didn't do very well at with the orange sodas did I? No. They have all very much of a muchness. Much of a muchness. I did identify Ula Dag as the definite best of those. That is a delicious soft drink. Someone on Twitter today said they just ordered a big pallet of it from Turkey because they want to try it now. Are they big fans of orange soda? Yeah I guess so. If they're fans of orange soda I don't think

they're gonna be disappointed. No it's a great one. You can't like love tango and then have that and think that's not better. I don't understand. I would like to hear what they say. Well if you're listening to this then yeah please tell me out what you thought about spending all that money on Oola Dag. Now I tasted tango in that blind taste test last week and I wasn't very impressed. No. It's not a very good soft drink Tango. It was just boosted hugely by one of the most famous controversial ad campaigns of the whole of the 90s wasn't it? Of the whole 90s. Yeah. You know when you've been Tango'd and then you get smacked in the face by a big orange fat man.

But they pulled that version, the smacked in the face version. And then they did the kissy lip one instead. Yeah, but they pulled that version quite quickly. Yeah, because kids were slapping themselves in the school. Getting deafened was what I heard, because it was like two hands across both sides of their face. Yeah. They should have had the Tango man running, jack the guy off and then run off. They did get some of those ads did get a bit sort of

kink adjacent. Weird some of them there's a guy on YouTube who has an ankle Bob the fish and he does a big old breakdown doesn't he the hard sell. That's just what I'm referencing as well. And he does a breakdown of the history of advertising campaigns or TV old TV in general. Great research. Great researching and really you know well put together. So well worth checking out if you haven't seen it. But anyway. And that era is when Tango changed to these black labels, the black background. It was white before wasn't it? Edgy. And black is meant to be, and it is sort of a throwback, that whole look to the

sort of extreme 90s. Now, what have we got here though Paul? What have we got here I'm asking you. I'm handing it to you. Raspberry Blast, not my favourite Prince song. Raspberry Blast. I had a patfanny like a vinegar box. Carbonated apple and raspberry soft drink with sweetness Mr Silverman. No but look at look. What? Limited drop. It's a limited drop. What does that mean? Limited edition in kids speak. Yeah but drop is like what you call an album or a track. That's right that's where it came from. But it's a drop it's a new product it's a limited. We're dropping tango yo. It doesn't does it it do you think that's cringe the way they say limited drop? Yeah. Yeah okay. It's tango with its bare fingernails clawing grasping on to the the window ledge of fate before it topples into

Down onto the streets of yeah pointlessness Anyway, it is a limited edition tango flavor and there was two of them there But this one spoke to me because we have discussed on the show before yeah What is the color of the liquid in that bottle? This is like a kind of murky blue. It is blue raspberry but they don't call it blue raspberry do they? Raspberry blast. So my theory that blue raspberry is moving up the culture. Oh look at the fizz on that. It's got a good fizz. It's got a good fizz. But fizz. Oh now I've got raspberry blast all over me. It is ok it is sugar free isn't it. Yeah cool. What is the smell like? That smells like fucking bleak. Oh look at

this. He has become a cropper of these new caps on bottles. They have stopped it now so when you turn a screw cap off it doesn't come off completely it sticks to the ring around the rim. Yeah. Unless you pull it off like you just did there. Well I'll be returning it and recycling the bottle. That's because you're a good man. Sniff it though, tell me that doesn't smell like it should be under your sink from the next time you have a completely heavy soilage in your toilet.

That is so artificial isn't it. Mate I dropped a big fucking log in the toilet, pass me the Tango Raspberry Blast to shift it. But honestly it's got that horrible even onto the nose it has that sort of aspartame. There's something off about that smell isn't there. It puts the ass in aspartame. It is that very artificial raspberry. Right I'm going to go in. It's blue, it's murky blue, it's not even a vibrant blue. Eeeh! Fuck it out, that's horrible. Ha ha ha ha ha!

Really? Well go for it and find out. I'm just sick and tired of this onslaught of sweetener flavoured drinks because of the sugar tax and everything tastes shit. Just a really empty flavour. Really, really empty flavour. A horrible like fake sugary that sits right at the back of your jowls. shit. Just a really empty flavour, really really empty flavour. Just like a horrible like fake sugary that sits right at the back of your jowls, it just sits there. And there's

no raspberry, there's no sort of tang to it, there's no flavour there, you know what I mean? It's just that horrible fake sweetness and then nothing. Nothing. And then a little sourness left in the mouth sort of. You know what I mean? I would pay more for just real sugar in these fucking drinks. Cause you can give it any wacky flavor you want, but at the end of the day, it's still gonna taste like fucking chemical sweetener shit. And it unifies it all across every brand, Coke, Pepsi, Tango, whatever.

This sweetener is this familiar horrible note, which is just ruining flavor. And so they're overpowering it with like wacky mixtures to over-cut them up. I know, but in this instance, it's barely there any raspberry flavour or apple flavour. Is there any apple? Getting any apple there or anything?

No. Any sort of fruit, that's a really bad drink. It tastes of just fucking blue. Well, it's a limited edition. Grim blue fizz. Well that drop is going straight in the toilet. Drop it in the bin. Is that it now for all the drinks? There is one more item Paul. Now we have covered tarkeys on this. Oh no is this what you were talking about? Yeah. Oh this is not good. This is why I went to the shop because I saw

it before. Mate. Check this out. I am going the shop because I saw it before. Mate, check this out. I'm going to hand it to you. Keep away from the mic. Okay. Oh what the fuck is this? Takis hot liquid, jalapeno versus pickle, five star hot chilli. So this is, it's not what it is.

I don't actually know what it is. So it's not fizzy obviously because it's in like a juice carton type. It's in a little juice carton like you used to get at school with the foil top. Spicy cucumbers with jalapenos. It's pickles. Ingredients, cucumber juice, cucumbers, jalapeno, water, salt and then a bunch of preservatives. I need to take a picture of this before we open it, so I ain't got to let me do that now. It doesn't even just seem to be properly brand,

Tarkeys branded, does it? No, I don't know how they got away with that. I think they're not even asking Tarkeys permission, basically. Well, what do they mean by Tarkey then, you know? Tarkeys is just that sort of flavor profile, like we were discussing before, it's that very... But I thought Tarkeys, that was a brand,

the brand of Tarkeys. They are, it is a brand. But I think this might be like a bootleg Tarkeys product. This might be, because can I just be honest, I know your conceit behind this was save the weirdest till last and I'm totally fine with that. It's just when you know that that's your end point, don't you think we could have ended with like Sunkist or the fruit juice. I've still got some Sunkist left. I guess we've got palate cleansers left.

Shall I look at this? This is going to be a pickle basically. It's going to be a green drink isn't it? No, no it's not a drink, they're pickles. Oh so it's not a drink. It says hot liquid, it's a very confusing product. No but it says cucumber doesn't it? So there's cucumbers in it.

Oh it's got a foil lid to pull back have a smell of that mate it's like Ribena with cucumbers in I have to take a picture of this mate because that's the most troubling thing I've ever fucking seen. Angle, this is proper truck stop food man. It's gone hiding, the cucumber's gone hiding. You're going to have to taste one of these man. Oh I am. I think you're meant to drink the juice as well.

Yeah I think it's actually there's only one cucumber in here and that's just for. Oh it's only one? Yeah. Right okay. Have a little of that on ice it's purple looks like ribena weak ribena there's two of these oh no these are jalapenos oh right they're not gherkins oh look there's one jalapeno and one gherkin in it and one gherkin oh that's why you've got the pickle versus jalapeno yeah so they're fighting in the tub. This is the weirdest thing I've seen in a while.

Isn't it? Look at that. Take a photo of that. Of them together. Fighting each other. There we go. One, two, three. There we go.

But this is... Shall we taste the juice first? Yeah. Okay I'm going to pour some juice out. Oh it's weird because my brain is like thinking. This is going to be sweet. It's like tango but it's not going to be sweet. It's going to be sweet.

It's going to be sweet. It's going to be sweet. It's going to be sweet. It's going to be sweet. I am going to pour some juice out. It is weird because my brain is like thinking it is going to be sweet. It is like tango but it is not going to be sweet. It is going to be horrible. Let's just do this. That is very tart and hot. Get out, get out, get out. I have got it on me knee. I'll taste the, you don't have to taste this Paul if you don't want to. Yeah. Oh God. It's just very spicy. It's very spicy. Hot drink. I've tasted the pickle. Yeah. Good pickle. Oh my God it's so hot. Now I'm biting into the pepper everyone, this is for you guys. This is not the thing we should have done on a hot day. Oh it's crispy.

That's good. It's got a crunch to it. That's not bad. Considering it's been steeped in whatever that fucking stuff is. I actually do like that. This is the thing, it's a you thing, not a me thing. It's also just something I wish I hadn't had

on one of the hottest days of the year. Well, you know, in the hottest parts of the world they eat very spicy food. It cools you down. Does it? Yeah. Sounds all like Cobbidoo to me. That's pickle is actually. I did not need that my throat's on fire. Like literally like I've swallowed a hot coal. It's just very hot but it's not that it wasn't like an off note. No it tastes you know just tastes of what it is. It is, yeah. It's salty, it tastes like Tarky liquid basically.

I smell a bit like Tarky liquid now. I've got a vinegar thong. We didn't get wet wipes, we needed wet wipes. We always do this, we come out and then we go, remember the next day we'll have a bin bag, we bring a bin bag and they go, oh we didn't bring this, and now it's like we didn't bring a mat. Well we got a bin bag this time. And we're not doing a walkabout anyway.

No, we're just sitting here all day. Right, let's take a break because I think it's wise to do that. Now, let's do that. So we'll do the other part of the... Yeah, bye everyone. I'm just gonna be a little bit sick. It's too hot for an episode of Cheap Show. I'm walking pos... pos... the model.

Post the model? Post the model. Where am I? Does mother call me? Mother call me in from playtime. Mother? Er, Paul? Mother call me in to play. It's too hot. But mother, I'm having fun with my friends. Mother, don't call me in for pop pop. That's not how you used to speak. Don't call me in for pop pop discipline time. I'm having fun with my friends. Mother, don't call me in for pop pop. That's not how you used to speak. Don't call me in for pop pop discipline time. I've already been playing football with friends. You're not playing football. Stop striding around like a chicken

and saying mama please. That didn't take much. Sit down. No, I want to stand up, my legs hurt. We can do this, we've got lapel mics on. You want me to stand up my legs hurt and we can do this we've got lapel mics on it doesn't matter does it. You want me to stand? No let me go hang on let me check there we go plug it in this is very professional this week boys and girls.

Oh Paul. Yeah hang on. Do you dare me to taste all of those drinks at once? Oh yes do a cocktail including pickle. Oh he's a madman. Are you going to taste it? No because I'm not a madman. I'm not a maverick broadcaster like you are. Sun kissed. Sun kissed going in. Mango and

orange. Mango orange. I'm going to put this on my little label here. I pro student recommended by Parker on Berry Mix one of your five a day. In it goes. In it goes. I've still got a little kernel of ice left. That's good innit. Well done you. I'm strutting while he does this. We've got the tango raspberry blast. Tango raspberry blast. It's a limited drop. It's a limited drop.

It's going to be limitedly dropped into his glass right now as the mix goes on. Now before you add the pickle I think you should just drink what you've got there. Just because the pickle's good. See what it tastes like yeah. Just before it gets silly go on okay I have to say though the pickle although kind of shocking in its reality yeah was actually quite tasty I mean for what it is it's either the actual pickle or the jalapeno no but I don't want that oh fine right he's drinking he's having a snuff drink hmm better all together yeah

actually taste it all right actually, taste it. I'll taste it then before the pickle goes in. It's not bad, it's got a little bit of a more complexity than any of them by themselves. Yeah. Yeah, it's fine. It's a bit more syrupy that way, but I'm not complaining. You've amped the sugar level there.

Well, for what it is with all the sweetener and whatnot. Maybe it's a bit sweet, but it's nice and cold, that's all right. That tastes better than the Fanta by itself, doesn't it? Just remember, because you've drunk some already, don't put too much pickle in it. It'll throw it all out of whack. Hey, listen, mate, it's my pickle juice.

It's his pickle. I've got half a jalapeno down there as well. It looks like, literally like an old man's thumb. Yeah, I know. It did look like a floating appendage. There's that thing, there's that bar in America which has someone's thumb in and you drink the thumb juice. I thought someone drank that thumb by accident. Didn't I hear that someone chugged it?

It went down some person's gullet. I don't know what the story was. They wouldn't necessarily be fat, they'd have to have a wide gullet. A wide gullet, yeah. A funny, insensitive wide gullet just slipped down. But look, I don't believe that story because if you're the bartender there that's your livelihood. If you're the owner you drain the toe juice. The toe's not going anywhere. The toe's not coming out of the bottle into

a glass is it? I don't know. It depends how thick the wide the neck is. Yeah but they can put, it's their toe. They can do what they like with it. They can protect their asset. But I reckon if you accidentally drink it you have to donate your big toe. No you don't. If you drink it by accident then they should take your toe and put it in. Yeah that would be illegal and violent. Oh look there's crepuscular rays. Can you see them? You mean clouds? No can you see the light coming through in lines? Yeah a little bit. The sun is quite bright. The sun is incredibly strong today. I've got

hives all over. The life of which I've never seen before. I don't want to do this episode no more. I know you didn't want to do the episode to begin with, Paul. I'm enjoying the episode. I'm enjoying myself, but it's just hot. Come and play the Price of Shite with me. It's the fucking Price of Shite.

Alfresco. It's the fucking Price of Shite. Alfresco. It's the fucking Price of fucking price of fucking price of shite. And that's Al Fresco. Go on what did I rip off there then? I ripped off something intentionally then for the tune what was it? Since you know everything Mr Beatmaster Sampleman.

I do pride myself on naming that tune Paul but I'll need another go round I think. It's the fucking price of shite. It's the fucking price of shite. It's the fucking price of fucking price of fucking price of shite. It's the fucking price of shite. It's the fucking price of fucking price of fucking price of shite. It's so familiar that it's hard to get. It's the fucking price of shite. Is it Wizard of Oz? No but you're in the right ball park. You're not in the right car park in the area but you've parked up close. Oh it's Snow White. Yeah there you go Whistle While You Work. I'm putting some of this grim

pickle juice, Tarky flavoured pickle juice into my big mix. Oh thank you. So sometimes I take books from work because they just get left there. Oh that was at work wasn't a charity shop. No this was one from work, it's a brand new book called Edgeware Road from Romans to Romanians and everyone in between. Do you know where Edgeware Road is? In Finchley. Do you know how much I like Finchley. What else is in Finchley? Well Brent Cross. Brent Cross, I think centre mate. Shut up. I'm putting some of this pickle juice into the big cocktail. From Romans at one end to Ro... No I'm not going to taste the one with the pickle. Taste it. I'll only put a little bit in. No I don't want to please, for your friend. You take the bullet because it's content. Alright, here we go.

Oooh, give me. Now, you want to smell bin juice. That is such a bin juice over there. That does smell like a hot bin. That's the bin juice. I'm going in. I had nudists. Oh, that's really bad.

That's got a real nappy taste now. I'm not drinking any more of that. I like the birth of Tesco 1929. The combination of all those flavours combined is like bin juice versus nappy. Bin juice versus nappy. Congratulations you at least tried it. I have no intention. Sure you don't want to try this jalapeno? I'm not in the mood honestly mate thanks you know what I mean I'm all right. Oh, it's hot. I don't think it was a wise decision to do that. Right, fucking price of shite. Do you need a pen and a bad?

Yeah, you've got it. You can use your pickly fingers to deal with it. Right, this came a few weeks ago. Hello Cheap Show, I have some more interesting pieces of tat for you straight from the charity shops of Nottingham once again. This is from Ash. Oh, thank you, Ash. Thank you, Ash. Nice to hear from you. Brilliant. So the answers are in this little CD envelope and it's sealed. That's nicely sealed. So I'm going to put that under the bottle. I'm going to put it underneath me, my hand fan. Am I going to be the scribe here? Yeah. You want me to be

the scribe? Yeah, go for it. So I don't know what orders which I've got my pencil case here which depicts oh one of the items I didn't bring because it was broke it was a go I'll get out the way now it was a little Ghostbusters lamp I'll show you a picture it's on my phone well basically yeah because it has like a glass fake neon thing with a logo hung in the middle of it and it you know glowed up with a lamp. I took a picture of it but as you'll soon see it was all smashed and I didn't want to bring it was like glass so I didn't want to there we go there's a picture of it I hope you can see it but you see like there's a glass rim around it and that was all smashed so sorry Ash it turned up smashed for Ash get is this

another oh we're being attacked oh Oh don't drink the pickle juice. That dog wanted that pickle juice mate. It's okay. It's alright. It's okay. Every time we leave the house we attract dogs. That dog's tongue has been in my glass. You let it. I wasn't going to hit the dog on the head. You should have, you should have smacked it on the nose. No! Like that. Oh there's writing on the inside of the pickle cup. It just says hot juice or hot liquid. Oh it is hot liquid. Yeah so you see that's the first item. Okay and how tall is that? It would have been I reckon about that tall. Okay so quite large. Has a little plastic base, little lamp, and then it made the Ghostbusters sign glow up.

So I don't know, but... Did Ash include a window or a ceiling? No window, no ceiling, no. And how many items are there including the lamp? One, two, three, four, five, six. Wow, let's get going. Oh, seven. Seven items, wow.

So we'll do this next one quick. This is a Ministry of Works Dover cat. Well, we need to set up the rules of the game. Were there any special rules? No. So we'll be both, for new listeners, yeah? For new listeners. We will be competing against each other

by trying to guess the price of these items that Ash has selected. In a high stakes game. If we guess the price and it is 25p, either way of the actual real price, we get one point. And this game... We don't call them points. We call them petwinks. We do.

You get one petwink for that. One petwink. You get it on the nose, as in you get the exact price right. Could be a quid. Could be, could be. It often is. Remember the quids gambit. The quids gambit is when you play the quid.

Oh, we play that rule. Do you want to play that rule? Yeah, let's play quids gambit. We can only guess one of these items is a quid each, right? Yeah, that's the quid gambit. That's the quid gambit rule. It's a brand new for 2024 rule for the game. However, I need to finish explaining.

If you do guess the price exactly right, you get two, what do we call them? Pertwings, my friend. We get two pertwings. Two pertwings for being spot on. Having said that, let the games commence. So Ghostbusters Lamp was the first one. Oh. So just put GB, right. You go first, Let the games commence. So Ghost Busters Lamp was the first one. So just put GB... Right.

You go first, guess the price. Oh, I don't know. I'm going to say three quid. Because I reckon it wasn't bought smashed, but it's hard to judge. So I'm going to say three quid for now. It wouldn't have been bought smashed if there were pieces of the glass in the packaging. Yeah, I know. If he'd bought it smashed, he wouldn't have sent the shards, would he?

I mean, was it...? I don't know, Ash might have been having a moment. Right. I'm gonna send him some smashed shit. Alright Ash, calm down. Thank you Ash by the way, sorry. What do you think then? You're having a moment aren't you Paul? I'm hot. It's so hot. Literally the sweat is dripping into my eyes. Yeah, and I used hair product the other day for work. And it's stingy, stingy. And now it's all sweaty, drippy down to my eyes

and stingy ow ow. Where are my sunglasses? I don't know. I don't think, mate, we'll take a break and find your sunglasses. Did the dog take my sunglasses? Yeah. Did you see him wearing our sunglasses? Yeah, looking like the dog from Oliver and Company.

No, I got them. All right, good, put your glasses on. I need to guess the price of that stupid lamp, which I barely can perceive. Alright. Thank you. Well. Postal service. Yeah, don't blame me.

Or actually, we was having a breakdown. Yeah. Might have been. Come on, there's another dog coming if you're not careful. Oh no! There's another one and that's a big boy. He's heard me. Is he a big boy?

Shut up, is he a big boy? It's not a big boy dog. It's not a big boy dog. That other dog was a little a big boy? Shut up. Is he a big boy? He's not a big boy dog. He's not a big boy dog. That other dog was a little spaniel. This dog is only slightly bigger than the last dog. This one will fuck you with all the knife to your neck because it does it.

Shall we just watch dogs for the rest of the podcast and fuck this game of Price is Right? You'd love to do that. I'm not going to sit here and watch dogs. I'm going to say two pounds. Is that an Alsatian? No, what is that? That is a little puppy. Oh, it's a playful dog.

It's chasing after a little. It's a little puppy. It looks fine's a playful dog. It's chasing after a little puppy. It's a little puppy. It looks fine. God. Anyway, you said £2. I said £2 and we're ready for our next item. The actual, first of all the actual items physically here with us in this meadow. This is a 12 photograph set for your album.

It is a Tuppence, Ministry of Works, Dover Castle. It's a little envelope filled with postcards. Little mini postcards. Yeah. I'll let Eli have a little look. It's got that lovely greeny blue cover of old textbooks. I mean that would have been I reckon that would have been a darker blue back in the day. It would have been a bit more vibrant. I mean it is green. Can we both agree that? That's green. The writing's blue. Yeah. But I'm just trying to get across because it's quite familiar that quality of light

green that you get in old libraries and old textbooks. Like the books you got in school to exercise books. That's what it looks like. Old England exercise stationery. And it's got a lovely design. I'm into this man. I know I thought you would like this one. And it says on the back crown copyright reserved. Which I guess would have been similar to... Would have been similar to... What was it? Shutterstock back in the day. Lenny's a good name for a dog as well, isn't it? Is it Lenny?

Iggy and Lenny, they could form a band. Lenny is also, in my head, associated with the name of the character of Mice and Men, the slow-witted bruiser who accidentally kills the woman and then they lynch him. Have you ever seen the Warner Brothers cartoon? We don't lynch him. But go on. Yeah Lenny the big. Well they're cats aren't they. It's those characters from the Grapes of Wrath.

Yes. But they're cats. Yeah. And he goes oh. Can you look at these cards? What does he say? I don't know. It doesn't matter.

Just shut up. Calm down on the tangents. Let's keep this sweet. Calm down on my tangents? I'm going to ask you politely to calm your fucking tangents down. On the back of this set of postcards it says Crown Copyright Reserve, Imaginee, Imaginee. Yeah, go on. Her Majesty's Stationery Office.

Her Majesty's Imaginary Stationery Office. Open the cards up, have a quick look through. And these are black and white, small black and white postcards. Of Dover Castle. They're like half size yeah I mean there's a little catacomb cave that's quite a nice one catacomb cave yeah they're all nice it's all Dover Castle they've got a lovely old photograph shiny glossy finish these they're quite in good condition considering the age postcards very often were sort of produced by hand so to speak like someone would develop a bunch of them and then look on the back does it having like space to write an envelope no it

just has what the actual thing is so this is Dover Castle Kent view from southwest good to know oh wow I'm not aware of this castle it looks pretty extensive there's a cannon oh for you Gannon's cannon. The Gannon cannon. Chock Chock Baboom. Chock Chock Baboom. Chock Chock Baboom. Chock Chock Baboom. And some shots inside and I like that cave. Yeah, nice cave work. I'll take a few pictures of that later. But the price is what you're picking up next.

How much sir? I'm going to say £150. £150. I am going to play the quids gambit. Oh he's playing the quids gambit very early. I'm very early. You're going to want a quid later on. You're going to want to say a quid later on.

Maybe but for now. I was so tempted to put my quids gambit down there. I know mate but come on. I'm playing the gambit. You're playing the gambit. Put QG down. That's it. That's all I have to do.

It just says QG down. That's it, that's all I have to do. It just says QG there. Item number. What was the item? Dover Castle Postcards? Yes just put Dover. Next item is this. Item number three. It is a 3D photo frame and on it you will see a UFO, some alien mountains and a little alien with what looks like an Uzi by Alien Photo Frame by Regency Fine Arts. There's nothing fine about that item. It's a piece of shit. It's a piece of shit. Maybe for a five-year-old who likes aliens and shit. It's not that bad. The actual quality isn't as bad as some of the similar items I've seen, you know? You can see the little craters.

Yeah. They've been dry brushed. The alien itself is like... It's holding what looks like an Earth gun, though. Yeah, that's what I said, like an Uzi. Yeah, that's really jarring. That's not like a laser. I think the gun should have been painted perhaps in space neon or something.

Maybe. Or metallic would even be better that's like gun metal black blip block I went down to planet earth and picked up this little gun look at it it is sweet bang bang bang bang hey zip zap put that down you don't know how it works I am blip blop I get guns from the planet Earth. I fly down. Oh, man. That is some poor work from you there. I am Blip Blop, gun enthusiast from the planet... I'm just trying to think of a pun

which combines something UFO alieny with something godfathery, the Mafia. Oh, I see what you're doing. Yeah. It's hard. Let's keep working on that. But honestly, I do have to say, as these things go, there has been some time taken and some pride put into the production of this. It's fine for what it is. It is still sort of cheaply painted, but...

I am Blitblock. Look at my Winchester rifle. I went back to time period, Earth time, 1888, and I pick up Winchester rifle, Blitblock. Alien Frame, I'm going to put, and it is you to guess first this time and you can't have your quids gambit. There was no window and no ceiling. No window, no ceiling, no corridor, no roof, no back garden. The environs of Nottingham.

It's going to be cheaper than London prices probably. £1.50, I say. You say £1.50 for the photo frame? Yeah. I think that's quite a nice item and I think you could go as much as high as three on that. Yeah, it's got a sticker What what what what the glass is intact? Suns beat down on me and like I say I like the dry brushing on the meat on the cratered surface of the planet might get naked There's nowhere to jump into I could do some deep water. Third dog of the podcast looks

to be behaving itself. Yeah it's over in the middle of the field we'll leave her alone. I bet it's called Stig. What are you saying for the alien frame. I want that dog to be called Stig then you can have Stig, Lenny and Iggy. Alright good. And Rex come on. Come on. I'm going to go 275. 275. That's unlikely to be that price but I think it is going to be. I see something of quality in that where you see nothing. Alright. Lucky Marciano. Lucky Marciano, next item. Any one? Anything? I don't know what was it in relation to? There's a very famous gangster called Lucky Luciano. Yeah. Lucky Martiano. All right, not bad.

It's not good. It's something, isn't it? It's a game. Uh-oh. Good aliens. Right, you're still doing it, yeah. Oh, it's really hard to think in this weather. Oh, we're onto item number four.

Four. It's a game of some sort called Fart. Let's play it. Fast and flatulent guff game for three players and north. We only have two of us. Let's give it a go. It comes with a CD featuring 99 track fart sound effects. Oh, my God.

Flatulent fun with your CD player. Fart is the sound-sational game of rip-roaring fun that will challenge even the straight-laced ant graze to keep a straight face. Excuse me, does it say sound-sational? Yeah, sound-sational. Oh, fuck off. They can fuck right off now. Sound-sational.

An instant source of laughter, Fart is the hilarious game in which you race to be the first person to play out your cards whilst accompanied by a fast and frantic fart chorus. Every now and then, an unrealistically enormous explosion will let rip, forcing you to change direction, pick up a penalty card or pass the wind to your neighbor. Wild hilarity at the press of a button. Fart is the side-splitting game that helps you unwind and release a little pressure.

Oh. So we can't play it then. I don't want to. We have to have a CD. After that horrendous blurb. Copy, yeah. Get a CD. You get a CD in there. What else you get? Cards. Cards. I think it's like um, uno-y kind of thing isn't it. There's loads of rules. So you just play farts and

then you try and ignore the fart sounds while you do. Well when the fart sound plays it affects the direction you go round. Yeah but I bet the quality or timbre of the fart hasn't got anything to do with the game. Evil demon, the types of farts, evil demon, evil demon, or they're all evil. Wet rasper, wet rasper, eggy stinker, silent but deadly, clam chowder, teeny weeny and then a lot of gas masks. So it's probably like, you know like, I know we should look at the rules but it looks like it's one of those UNO-y kind of games or like turn-taking card game or you know one of those games where you have to get rid of your cards as fast as you can what like I don't know I don't I mean I'm gonna need a

price for me. I know we're not playing it properly and giving it its due diligence but maybe we could play it on a different episode. Yeah maybe we could play it on a different episode like a video episode. We didn't know we're gonna be in a fucking field. No I didn't really look at this. There's a practical problem here we haven't got a mat. If the red silent but deadly cod is on the top of the discounted pile yeah it's like pick up put down one of those kind of games with fart sound effects to make it cheeky. I mean it's just trying to cash in on the funniness of flatulence. Anyway that's that item fart right fart down now. I need to guess first. Yeah you do I don't know about this one. See in a London

charity shop that is going to be a fiver any day of the week isn't it? 253 250. I'm gonna say 250. All right. I don't get to play my quids can I play my quids gambit in retrospect? I don't know. It's your game. Our game. It's our game can I play my quids gambit in retrospect. Do you want to? I might want to go back if I don't get to the end of the list.

Then I reckon to make the Queen's Gambit more of a thing you have to play it during the turn. Okay. It can't be something you amend. Fair enough. That way at least you're playing it fairly. What is your guess for the park then? £2.

£2. On the nose. And I have said £2.50. And let's move on to item number four. Five. Four. Five. Oh can I just say basically there was a bit, there was verging on chummy copy there with

that sound. Yeah I agree. Chummy copy. One thing I've realised that fucking annoys me is where they say, you're welcome, like in some, some, like don't thank me, that sort of thing. You're welcome. Oh, like this, this perfume will brighten your day and make your house smell cleaner. You're welcome.

Yeah. Why is that a thing? That is condescending on its face. Yeah, but it's chummy copy. It's like I won't ask for you to say thank you. I won't wait for you to say thank you. No. Because I know you'll be so grateful.

Do you know what I mean? It's like condescending. Or it's like your mother saying to you, you know, say, say thank you. Say thank you. Say thank you. I just bought you an egg. But it's like a snide way of saying you're welcome.

Yeah. Isn't it? Can I just say mate, wearing headphones on a really hot date as we were monitoring the sound of this. Hot ears Paul. Literally this sweat pooling in my earlobe whatever this thing and it's just pouring down the side of my neck every now and then when I release the muffs.

So on my way here in Crouch End I went past a pub and on the chalkboard it said oh we've got like air conditioning you're welcome. Ah fuck off. Do you know what I mean? Bite my knob off. Right come on next item. Alright what is what I mean? Bite my knob off. Right, come on, next item. All right, what is it? It's your, you're the bag man here.

Aqua Blaster, Marilyn. Hook the hoops on the Hollywood star. Oh, I haven't turned my phone on to. I think this is leaking a little bit because it's a bit damp and soggy. What's leaking? This item. Oh, it's a-

The one that I was explaining to you called Aqua Blaster, Marilyn Monroe. So look, it's like one of those tomy air it's leaking look it's leaking. Oh it's got blue leak nappy leak. Oh perhaps it was the same sort of rough treatment that did for the Ghostbusters lamp. Yeah maybe who knows. It's like one of those tomy things where you play squirting water games. But this is, oh it's a shame it's not working. Have you got water you can stick in here? No I'm not going to pour my.

It's Marilyn Monroe look and the water is from her famous moment in the Seven Year Itch. Yeah when the wind goes up her dress. The updraft goes up her dress and lifts her dress. And now you do it with the pumpy thing. But also you've got the things that you're trying to pump around are you're trying to get these pearl necklaces onto her. It's quite a clever little. You've got to squirt your pump and get the pearl necklace. Oh that's a shame that's broken and it's leaking so much. It's just leaking. Do you see what I mean though? Can you empty

it out? Yeah you must be able to. No there's no. Oh that's terrible. That's shit it's like there's no way to refill it. It's absolutely sealed in. You'd have to unscrew the bottom probably. Are we going to discard that? No because I don't want to leave shit like that in the in the bin. Well we put discard it in a bin. Oh yeah. Oh yeah the dress does float look. That's what I mean you push the dress up as well as trying to get the pearl necklaces on to her neck. Sexy, sexually charged. Sexually charged item that harks back to classic Hollywood. Yeah it does not it remind you of the Hollywood good old days.

The glitz and the glamour. Squirting water up Marilyn Monroe's crotch. I need a price for the aqua blast what is it called? Aqua Blaster. It is Aqua Blaster Marilyn hook the hoops on the Hollywood star. I wonder what other ones they have got. I do not know. That is the type of thing that the patent office have to deal with all day long.

It's all damp in my bag because of that fucking thing. Oh no. Oh no. What's it got on? Right, I don't know. It's just all damp. It's not like it's... It's got Maryland skirt juice all over everything.

I don't think it's leaking a lot but it's still leaking. Is it smelly? Mildewy skirt juice. Maryland's mildew. It's your go to guess though. This is quite a good one from Ash. They're nice items I have to say. Oh Maryland's mildew. It's your go to guess though. This is quite a good one from Ash. They're nice items I have to say. Oh I don't know, I don't know.

I'm going to say two quid again. Two quid again you unimaginative person. No 250 fuck you. Mix it up. I'm going to say fuck it's hard. Yeah it's hard. With these novelty items you can't really. You don't really know what the value is that they see when they put them on the shelf.

Same things do you yeah. It's like you have to see how much they think they they see when they put them on the shelf. You don't see a lot of the same things do you? Yeah. You have to see how much they think they're worth and then put a price to that. Yeah. Very tough. I mean that could be 75p easy or it could be a fiver. Or it could be a fiver yeah. I think I want to play the quid gambit.

Go for it mate. There might be a smaller item that's so. No there's not. Oh he's letting me cheat. Alright quid gambit for me there. QG goes in. You just love it. I haven't forsaken my QG. No. What are you saying calling them QG's. Alright next. We've been doing this 10 years. Item is a VHS tape. Oh fuck no that's my quiz gambit.

That's my quiz gambit. Well no you've locked it in now remember we said. Okay. Jerry Halliwell yoga. Bastard he did that on purpose everyone. You saw that? With Katie Appleton. So in the year 2001, just before Jerry Halliwell became a fucking weird psychopath. Is he? I'm not even going to get into it here, all about the money. Jerry yoga with Katie Appleton, which means Katie Appleton does all the hard work and Jerry comes in every now and goes, oh! Yeah. Bends her legs and and goes oh I'm doing this to everyone. Oh this is a little quote from her I got into yoga two years ago I was looking for another form of weight loss and yes it has helped me keep in shape but yoga gives me so much

more. If you want to feel good about yourself relax and feel healthier this might be the thing for you jerryhollowell.com there's's a warm up, sun warm up, Jerry postures, relaxation, Jerry talks, an exclusive interview with Jerry where she shares her lifestyle and health tips. Fuck off. Be rich. A VHS, 2001. Anyway, how much for the fucking VHS? I just don't want to look at her grinning face anymore. Don't, he's getting all violent Ash with all your stuff. He threw your fart game on the floor. I didn't throw it on the floor. Very disrespectfully. It's not disrespectful to just place something on. This is disrespectful. Stamping on Jerry's face with me foot. If

you want to break it do it properly. No I don't want to. I love her. No one wants that. I love her she was my favourite spice before she went all cockabonkers. As me go guess first I'm going to say 50p. Oh see I was going to say 50p. You can say the same. No I'm going to say 75p. How about that. Right because of the 25p either way he's keeping in multiples of 25p to try and poach a petwing as it were. Petwing poaching. He's petwing poaching. Right final thing

is this annual. It is a new kids on the block official annual 1992 in very good condition, a winterland productions, Rock Express. And you know, it is what it is, an annual for young girls who like new kids on the block, which introduces them in a very overly familiar, but definitely PG kind of way.

Talk about this obviously a British thing because they front load it with, it was so great visiting Britain and showing in front of our great fans in Wembley. They were huge here though, they really broke Britain didn't they? They performed at Wembley Arena in 1991, there we go, they're just talking about their tour and their recent success. Jordan, nicknamed Jay, born 1970, what's his favourite record? I'll Be Loving You Forever and Baby I Believe in You.

I guess that's one of theirs. His favorite male singer is Luther Van Dros. His favorite drink is milk. I do not believe that at all. And his favorite film is The Godfather. Message to fans, thank you for everything you've done, for being so loyal and for touching my heart. Yeah, giving us all that fucking sweet money.

And there's one of the Wahlbergs, I don't know which one it is, they're all cunts. Donny. They're all cunts. There's only two Wahlbergs. Yeah but they're both cunts. Do you know he's started making pickles. Wahlbergs pickles. Yeah that's what they're called. There's a picture of him on the front going Mark. So not Marky Mark, the other one, the actor one, the one from this. That is Marky Mark. No Marky Mark was from the Funky Bunch, it's a different one. This is a different Mark. Marky Mark is the one who's the actor now. No they're both actors. Yeah but Marky Mark is the one who's the actor now. No, they're both actors.

Yeah, but Marky Mark's a more successful actor. That's Donnie and Mark. That's it. Yeah, Donnie Wahlberg. Donnie, Donnie, Donnie and there's Joseph. Who's Joseph? It's just full of the usual shit. Let me see it. And well in a minute, hang on.

I just want to find Donnie Wahlberg. His favourite male singer is Aaron Hall, Chuck D Bobby Brown or his favourite autobiography is Malcolm X. Chuck D Malcolm X yeah seeing some. Biggest turn off being turned off, biggest turn on being turned on. Oh clever he's also clever with his answers. Qualities and a friend open-mindedness is my only credential. Yeah, open mindedness. You with a little bit of a step bar step darling. What are you talking about?

A little bit of a hanging tough. Come on love, I'm Donnie fucking Walberg. It wasn't Donnie. Yeah, Donnie, he was in Saw 2 or whatever. Was that Donnie whose answers turned me on? Yeah, that's him. Look at the fucking ex-grip ball face, he's trying to look cool. You've got to take a photo of

that in the stupid hat. Oh my god. With his fucking soot cat in the hat thing. Oh my god. Open it up. I want to take a picture with you. That has not aged well. That's it. Not at all. He looks like a petulant teenager which I guess he is. Yeah. Wow. I mean it makes Jamiroquai look cool that picture. Really bad, really bad from Donny there. Anyway how much Paul? How much Paul? You get to guess please. I think this is going to be either dreadfully overpriced or dreadfully underpriced. They do. I am going to play the quids gambit too. You can't play quids gambit. Quids gambit too but if you get it right all your points get taken away.

That's complicated. That's too complicated. That is £1.50. You could say £1.50. I'm going to say £1.50 for that final item. For that is the final item and what do you say Mr Jay Silverman? There's a dog coming. Is there? Protect my food. Oh it's one of those bushy boys. He can have the pickle juice. He's not having the pickle juice. Don't give a dog pickle juice. Oh come on. I don't think you can. I don't think it's good for them. Don't give a dog any humans food. Don't believe that. What are you doing? Why are you getting up? Just to protect the sandwich. Protect the sandwich at all costs. That's the most attractive dog we've seen today. Oh yeah attractive. Look at this great pelt. It's got a lovely pelt. Nice arse. I'm not saying that. We didn't get to hear what that dogger's name was though.

What, hey love, what's your dog's name? What's your dog's name? It's very attractive. Shut up. What's the price? 75p I'm sorry. Write it down. Can you sit down and join me for this podcast please.

No if I sit down I'm itching all over. On being on the grass making my knives come up. Do you want to have my bag? Sit on my bag. No I just want to stand up. This isn't the relaxing podcast I think it's going to be are you? You write 275 down or whatever you said. I put 75p. Right and then we could end this segment and I can give you the scores and then we can stop this episode and then you can go home. Yeah. Right write it down and then I can press stop. I am I have written it down. Right we'll stop in it but we're gonna do the scores now. Right is it time for scores

mother? Right it's time for scores Paul. Where'd I put scores mother? I'm looking for a win I'd really like a win here I need a W. Did you take the scores? No you showed me they're in the CD case thing. Yeah I know but where's this? I them. That would be I thought you took it off me. Oh, no, it's underneath the other one. Here we go They get damp from Maryland's box juice. No, I mean it's I think because it's a hot day I worked for that dampness has been absorbed. You mean evaporated? Absorbed Here we go, all soggy letter Right, what was that last item? NYKAD. Yeah. B. KB. Right we're going to do it in the order that the prices are listed

here okay. No NK. OB. Right. NY. Anyway. I don't know what you're doing. Right I've got the thing. So we're going to start with the fart game. What did we say? Oh I have to find it on this list now. I know but you've only written seven things down. It's not that fucking hard. Fart game, CD thing, this. What did you say? No, you tell me the prices. I'm just to have to do columns.

It doesn't matter. Just... I'm doing a between column. You don't need a between column. You just put a big tick by everything. No, I need to total our betwings. Just fucking hurry up, because I'm losing all of my fucking wick. I don't care. You're getting on my wick. My wick is burning. It was your idea to come out on the hottest day of the year.

It's your idea to say yes. You could have said that's a bad idea, Paul. For the fart game, you said £2 and I said £2. A man just came out of the woods and he's buying berries and he's coming past us. A man just came out of the woods and he's buying berries and he's coming past us. I don't trust random men in woods with boxes of berries. It's fine, I don't know why you've got an issue. It's good berry picking up here.

Probably urine content quite low. I don't know. I often... he's going to come right by. Oh, for fuck's sake. Right. No, because we're in a little bit which is... We've got nettles. We're mostly nettle based economy. We're nearly the valley. Right fart game how much did you say and I say I just told you tell me again. You said two pounds and I said two pounds fifty. It was one pound and 25 pence so we're not off to a good start here. Double doughnut to start this scoring. Ghostbusters sign how much did you say? £2. How much did I

say? £3. Eli gets two petwings. Oh my god. The two petwings there, petwing, petwing. It was £2 on the nose. I overvalued that but Eli saw through it. Fucking sweet. Right. Next one is New Kids on the Block. What did you say? I said 75p for the New Kids on the Block album. How much did I say? You said 75p for the New Kids on the Block album. How much did I say? You said £1.50, probably a better prize. It was 50p on the, that was it. 50p?

So you get a p-twink. Oh I'm fucking scoring here man. Three p-twinks to zero. Next one is the Marilyn Monroe water squirty game. The aqua blaster. Yes, how much? With the pearl necklace. You said 250 I played my quids gambit. Oh £1.50. So nothing there for either nor nothing. But

Eli's still ahead and I've got some catching up to do with only three items left. You hope his quins gambit. Jerry VHS the yoga thing. Jerry. Yeah that's what it says here. Jerry. You said cherry. Doesn't matter cherry jerry. There goes a big bundle of things. The Jerry vid yeah you said 75p and I said 50p. It was 20p. I know they go for fuck all. So we're just out both of us bollocks. Dover postcards how much did you say how much did I say I said one pound fifty and for that one that is where you played your quids gambit. Gannon takes the quids gambit again it was one pound. You're such an expert at that. I'm loving it. Textbook quids gambit play there. So two betweens and a bonus. It's right back in the game. So is that and a bonus two betweens and a bonus

yeah of course because you play the Queen's Gambit. There's no bonus. Of course it's because you get the Queen's Gambit. No there's no bonus. Are you telling me if we have a rule called the Queen's Gambit you don't get a bonus for that. It's the Queen's Gambit and we discussed the rules last time when we played. It develops every single week. No it doesn't develop after you get it mate. No it does not. You've got two. Super Twings. This is nefariousness. This is two per Twings mate. It's all coming down to the final episode thing. It's the alien photo frame. How much did you say?

I thought it was quite a quality item, the alien photo frame. Better than a lot of similar items I've seen. And that's why I went as high as £2.75 there. You are more modest at £1.50. Well, unfortunately it was only 50p. The total of all of these items from the Nottingham Charity Shop was £6.95. If we'd known the ceiling, maybe we could have made more educated guesses.

Ash has put the ceiling in the answers. It doesn't help us though. It doesn't help us. Oh, see, I couldn't see that. He put the range there, but because it was folded in the envelope, I didn't see it. I knew it was your mistake. Six to nine. I'm sorry I've gathered you that.

You still won. I know I won, but I could have won more.. Six to nine. I'm sorry I've gathered you that. You still won. I know I won but I could have won more. But I'm angry because I got the quids gambit. See he fucks everything up and then anyway. Yes, well done for the quids gambit but could I just have my three p'tween win? P'twing, p'twing, p'twing. Happy? Thank you very much.

My pleasure. Well that was an addition of the price of shite for episode 367, is it now? Alfresco Price Out of Shite. This is an Alfresco edition. Now, we're going to take a little break and wrap this baby up because I think we've played enough this week. Eli, come chase me. I'm not allowed to speak. Come chase me. Why can't you speak? I'm not going to come chase you. Come chase me in the meadows. No. Chase me as we dance and

frolic through the long grass. No don't. Come on, you've got me frolicing now. Come on, frolic with me. I'm just going to get the aerobie fruit in the goal. Oh yeah, he's going to aim for the aerobie into the goal. He's brought his little pink ring. Oh, it's off, but it's a good distance. It's a good distance, but it's way to the side. It swung to the left, didn't it? Yeah, they always do. Mate, you don't want to lose it. Can you see it now?

Well, come with me to pick it up and then we can complete there. No, because I've got to be next to it. Oh, no, this is it. Yeah, we can walk. Let's go. We can't leave our mess there, though. We've got to come back. Right, so let's go get the aerobie. a great place to do this if it wasn't so hot. Anyway hello that was Cheap Show. Hope you enjoyed it. We're back next week. Episode 400 is coming up. We're going to do a live premiere of that on Friday evening on the

6th of September when 400 gets released into the world. Hopefully we're still stressing about that. But anyway look look, long story short, if you want anything from us, Cheap Show flavored, you go to our website, thecheapshow.co.uk. Links there to episode pages with pictures and videos, links there to our latest Cheap Shots videos, which are me and Eli doing fortnightly videos, fucking about and having a laugh.

Also links to our Patreon, patreon.com forward slash cheap show where you can give what you can but please only if you can and get access to podcasts and magazines and special videos and behind the scenes things and night busing as well which is our all tiers podcast where we go on a night bus we're going to do one of those maybe at the end of August. I've got an itching, I've got a need, need in the seat of my pants yeah for some night busing. Night busing action.

So that is coming up, other than that we'll be seeing you next week. It'll be a real time one hour episode next week because it's going to be stressful so I want to make sure we can just bang that one out and get it sorted. I thought we were banging this one out. Well we did bang, we're banging both out. Yes we are aren't we. So that's all we have time for. What was the highlight of this week's episode for you Paul?

I don't think there was one. You see this is what I think you're down on. I like it when the dogs came by. You like the dog actions? Yeah. I mean don't put it like that, I'm trying to drop that gag from the repertoire. I know. Because everyone's like oh these days, oh does Paul like fucking give it to dogs? And it's like I've hung myself by my own patard there. You have. You know. You have. But I'm willing to give the dogs material to rest. Yeah I think I need to move on to like horses. What should we do now? Should we just chill for a bit and then just go home? I've thought yeah what else are we going to do? Nothing it's just you know. I've got my little speaker. That man's still looking for berries.

He's a berry hunter. I don't like that. I don't like the idea of a man crawling through the bushes and coming out with a box of berries. You don't think that's weird? And he was judging us. I should judge you mate for being a creep. How do you know he was judging us? I saw him with my eyes. You saw him and you read his mind? Yeah and his mind was, I hate you.

So yeah. You're a catch. Alright. Hey. I'm going to throw it back to Eli. Well we're going to end this episode by throwing an aerobie at each other for a little bit until we get tired. So one, come on. All right here we go. Nice. Yeah thank you. He speared it. He speared it right for the middle. I'm going

to go with one, another one. Here we go. Too hard. It's hard to really put my arse into it with. Oh it went right by. Come on let's sit down. All right you've got to get closer we're breaking up. One more throw control it. I was doing all right. You are. No not anymore. I just wanted to let you fucking work. Right okay let's say goodbye on the hottest day of the year so far in the United Kingdom. We hope you're doing alright too and we'll see you next week. Say goodbye Eli. Bye. Chuck us in.

Yeah, nice. See you next week. Bye everyone. Bye. You