CheapShow - Ep 403 An Invisible Touch

Episode Date: September 27, 2024

Paul is not in the mood this week. He isn’t in the mood to be a podcaster. He isn’t in the mood to have a laugh. He isn’t in the mood for Eli. He isn’t in the mood for Eli’s vocal “chuntering” and all he IS in the mood for is a nap. Obviously, Eli loves this fact and is going to great pleasure in soaking up all of Paul’s self-loathing. All we are saying is, it may get personal this week! Luckily, there is some actual content, even if it’s not exactly the content they planned. Before they even get started, they take a tangent into the deeply scatological when they discover “rectal euphoria” is a thing and Eli suggests a new segment that ISN’T going to happen. CheapShow is back on the snacks, when they are introduced to Tayto “Might Munch” and given a taste test challenge. Meanwhile, a limited edition bag of Walkers crisps tries to gain entrance to the Snack Palace, but will it get in? Finally, Paul has a Charity Shop Showcase he believes will not only win Eli over, but also change the way we understand reality! As you can probably guess, it doesn’t go well for him. See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-403-an-invisible-touch And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you want to, follow us on Twitter/X @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid www.thecheapshow.co.uk Now on Threads: @cheapshowpod Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Merch Shop: www.redbubble.com/people/cheapshow/shop www.cheapmag.shop Thanks also to @vorratony for the wonderful, exclusive art: www.tinyurl.com/rbcheapshow Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Just look at your eye! Let's just not do the episode, Paul. That's it! If we start with like, ah fuck, the cold open. The cold open is your thing! It's where you set the tone for the whole episode, so come on. Maybe the tone is, I'm just tired and I want to go beddy-byes. I know you're tired.

I want to go to bed! You can't I know you're tired. I want to go to bed. You can't go to bed until we've done the episode. I know. Hello, it's Cheap Show. My name is Paul Gannon and that's Eli Silverman. That's me everyone. Hi, I'm fine. And I'm- What? No, Paul? What? Not hungover. Oh, you're not? Not. Oh, I got so excited and I bellowed. I'm sorry. I was so taken aback. I am not hungover. Oh, good, good, good. I feel hungover, but I'm not. I've just, I worked till the wee small hours and then I came home, I'd shit sleep and then you came along. What are you doing? I'm putting my phone on silent. You should. You should do that before we start recording. I didn't, I never know Paul, though, do I?

To be fair, you've got me there. I sprung the recording on you. You like to spring it on me? Yeah, sorry. Like a... Like a trap, like a mouse trap. I'm thinking of like some kind of hefty glass dildo with a spring, a super industrial compressed spring come in the room. Chonk! Chonk! He's walking out, he's walking off. Ooh, he's walking. Come on Paul Let me have a little bit of whimsy with a huge

Weapon dildo put me have phones on bear with put his headphones back on. Oh, is that enough for a cold open for you? Paul chunk You had a massive little hissy fit laugh fit I did a fake walkout you went wasn't even a Believe it Paul. I didn't even believe it Paul. I didn't believe it. Because you're in the way, even if I wanted to, you'd have to push me. You'd have to block my exit. You'd have to get all physical. I'm not going to get physical with you.

You'd have to get all, ooh, shovy shove. Shovy push push. Chonk! Ooh, you set off the- Yeah, you know what, fuck it, this is the cold open. You set off the trap! Chonk! Shut up!

Cheap Show to the mother body Cheap Show to the mother body It's the Heise of Shy Cheap Show to the mother body Welcome to Cheap Show Shhh, shhh, quiet, It's Paul's gentle Cheap Show episode where it's cozy and it's lovely and there's no raised voices and there's no whoop-ka-chonk. There's none of that. That's all behind me now.

You know, well, apparently so. Right up inside you. It's right in there tickling the guts. Hello everybody. It's Cheap Show. We're a podcast like so many but this one why it's got its own USP and that USP is we source our content from charity shops, bargain bins, convenience stores, corner shops, pound lands, bargain bins, jumble sales. There is no pound

lands because you'd be like saying that's like saying McDonald's is we also go to it. What's it called? It's called poundland though isn't it? Yeah but that's like saying McDonald's is, we also go to McDonald's. What's it called? It's called Poundland though, isn't it? Yeah, but that's one chain. Why do we keep giving them free advertising? Yeah, that's a good point actually. Why do we? Pound, say pound based, you should say something like, pound stores. Yeah, pound stores. Yeah, even though very few of them actually have a lot in there for a pound anymore.

They don't. But that's why you see, when you take the bus across North London there's a lot of these places that used to be pound and then they're Pound Plus and then sometimes they have to keep updating the sign so they're called Pound Plus or Pound Bonus. Around a Pound. Around a Pound store. That's got a ring to it. I bet there's a store up there called around about a Pound store. The one near me is called Moominland. Oh yeah that's weird. There's Lion King, which is the new, there's sort of off license. Lion King. Lion King. And then there's Moominland. Great stuff. Which is like the sort of general store, which sells all like shopping trolleys,

you know that kind of store? It's got a phone kiosk in it. But nothing to do with Moomins at all. I bought a laundry basket there the other day and I paid cash and the lady said we like cash we like cash. She didn't say it like that. No. And also. That was one of your best anecdotes by the way. Remember we're all going to think about it best moments of 2024. Remember this when Eli went about how he went to Moominland to buy a washing basket.

It was very nice actually. All bound for Moominland. Yes yeah. Moomooland that is. I know but I was saying Moomin. They're saying Moomin. That was the joke associate right. That was the point. So thank you for drawing attention to that and making our listenership feel dumb for not knowing it themselves. Oh don't start gaslighting me that I'm bad, I'm mean to the listenership. You're not mean to them, but I think you undervalue them and their intelligence quite vastly. You tell me off camera all the time, don't you? Off mic, sorry. That, you know, eugh. How much I hate the stupid idiots who listen to this pod.

Yeah, and you say you have to lower your comedy levels. Their dumb dumb minds. Yeah. And their stupid, open mouth breathing. And I say no. No, they're lovely folk who represent a broad swathe of this and many other countries around the world, and I love them, and they've supported us, and how fucking dare you, Mr Silverman, talk to them like that when they've kept the roof over your head in some instances for many a year. It's such... here's me defending you.

No, Paul's used to... I do all the marketing, I get us onto the TV when necessary. Paul's gone nasty, everyone. Just saying. Look at this, the projection from you. It's gone nasty everyone. Just saying. Look at this the projection from you. It's not projection. I'm sorry I had to bring this out. If you were projecting anymore you'd be a character in cinema paradiso. Oh well done wow if I was projecting anymore they'd have to call me Odeon. Hey yeah. Something like that maybe. No I'm more than every

man like our listener who listens to us every single week in and out. He's often one everyone. So I love you, even though if he doesn't... I love them as well and I don't... And he speaks disparagingly of you. I do not speak disparaging of you. You do. Apologise to them then.

I'm not apologising for something I don't do. Apologise to our listeners. I'm not apologising to the listeners. You should. Some of the things you've said... What? And the ones you've pointed out specifically that I won't mention here... Mouth drooly numpty heads. Yes, that's what you called them. The mouth drooly numpty heads. And I'm like no, how dare you? How dare you? Do you want to get fired

from this podcast I'd say? I've got another one. And I'd shake my fist. I've got another one. Yeah. Forehead people? No, that's not good is it? That could be a film. No. The forehead people. So people with foreheads or people with large foreheads. They're large. They have four heads and large foreheads. Hey, the forehead people Premiering at the the cinema next week the forehead people starring what about bubblegum dum-dums? What about that the forehead people and then you know what they could be The the forehead people could have an encampment I mean there could be booby traps. Yeah What kind of traps big old tits pop out? No glass dildos. I'm not having you on the glass dildo

What do they do though? Come on, pull what noise they make shonk shonk You know the glass dildo anyway, we've done enough random shitty banter How dare you how dare you Anyway, we've done enough random shitty banter. No, Paul, what Paul? How dare you? How dare you gaslight me? You're gaslighting the audience. I'm not. Yes, you are, because you're lying that I'm mean to them.

I'm lime lighting the audience. I'm sharing a lime light on your behaviour. Off mic, when the real Eli Silverman comes out. What else do I do? Yeah, I don't know. I'll think of something. You will, make something up. I'll make something up.

I'll make something up that's proper nasty that you do. Like you go, oh, sometimes I... No, I'm not actually going to say that. No, I will admit to one thing. Yeah, you do tributes on Pornhub for people you like who follow us. You splash your mess all over images. I spunk it to broccoli and take it back to the shop. Do you? That's the best you could come up with right then.

I'm just going with what appears in my mind. Sometimes it's good, a lot of the time it's not good. So vegetable ejaculate was on your mind right then? Yeah. Oh, good to know. Oh, I'm getting all sorts of images. Can we wrap this random shit up now and get on to the content please? What? God, so many people complain about podcasts and how their presenters are wrapped up in their own garbage until they get to the actual content of the episode.

And this is it, innit? In a nutshell. Can I have one question? Yes. You at the back. You. Black shirt, gold necklace, that looks cheap. It doesn't look cheap!

It's silver! This is Thai silver, it's a unique piece. Silver's silver. Why do you always want to attack my necklace? I never attack the way you dress. You do. You used to call me Jack-O-Mone Nons or whatever it was. You dress better these days.

I don't. I just don't wear fucking plaid shirts. Yeah. I know. You've got this thing about it. That's a good one. I don't think I've seen that one before. Only little cactus ones.

He's got a lovely colorful cactus shirt on. Yeah. Paul. The question, yes. Question I wanted to ask. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. What? Yeah. What's coming up on the show today? See? That's the only thing I was trying to say for the past six and a half minutes. Oh, here we go. Time code. Do you want that now after all this? I would like to know. Chuntering god nonsense. Today on the podcast, we're having a lighter episode this week. It takes on the edge off. So all we're going to be tackling this week is a trip to the snack

palace to see if a interloper can wedge their way through the doors. And we've got a little crisp taste test, which is, you know, Snack Palace adjacent, but it's nothing to do with the entry fee into that building. Well, it's been sent to us. It's a bit of a challenge. And then we'll be wrapping up with one of the most awe-inspiring charity shop showcases I think this show will ever see. Well Paul, I'll be showing you something impossible today. Oh, is it a magic trick? Oh, I think I got it right because he's like even comparing.

The thing is, is it magic when it blows your mind? Is it magic if I break the fabric of your understanding of this universe? Is it magic if I break the fabric of your understanding of this universe? Is it magic if I show you something you'll never see before that I'll do right in front of you? Yes, if you do achieve all three of those things, three or four things. Because I've got something

which is going to blow your mind, which is going to destroy your understanding of the fabric of reality. Paul is really selling this hard. He's selling this charity shop showcase hard. What do you mean? That's gotta be shit. Yeah, I just want to remind you Paul, for it to be considered a charity shop showcase and for it to avoid the fate of having no place. Yeah, because you're the arbiter of that. It needs two votes, doesn't it? So it needs. So it needs the yes vote for me. All I know is I know this is going straight in. This is going to

get... I just know it. See? Nothing's going to stop me now. It's gaslighting us again. I'm not, I'm just saying it's the true matter of fact. Matter of fact. Yes! Matter of fact! Yes! That's what we all love. Good old spoonerism. I hate my mouth. Macta of fact. I hate my mouth so much. That really fucked that up, man. Yeah, it was quite the spoonerism, wasn't it? Macta of fact.

Mackerel facts. I'll tell you what. No, don't. I can't. I'll tell you some Mackerel. I'm not having a fucking Mackerel tangent. I'm not having it. No, I'll tell you. I'll just say, all I'll say on that point is a fucking mackerel tangent! I'm not having it! No, I'll tell you!

I'll tell you, I'll just say, all I'll say on that point is... Yeah, go on. There are some mackerel facts. Yeah, yeah. Is this a denouement of your... It's some indisputable... Manchovy, is that what it is? Yeah, okay.

It's indisputable. Mackerel facts, mackerel facts, mackerel facts, mackerel facts, mackerel facts, mackerel facts, mackerel facts, mackerel facts, mackerel facts, mackerel facts. There you go. Right, er, let's get this crack on. Let's go for Chris Town. Hark, the snack palace shall wait for a moment as we are and we have been tasked. I can't do it. I'm on the moon this week.

I know, so good. So good. Shall I do it? Shall I say? Going weekly was a bad idea with this podcast, wasn't it? Paul. It really was, wasn't it? Paul, come back to the mic. Come back to the table. Come on. It's comfy here. He's lying leaning back everyone.

Now he's pretending he's chonk. Chonk. Anyway, Paul. Yeah, someone downstairs sneezing. Wow. They're one of those ones. It's the neighbour who thinks we have fights every Monday, which we do I guess.

My dad goes, yee-haw when he sneezes. Does he? Yeah. Yeah, like that. Yeah. How was it work the other day, having a poo? And it was quite on a Sunday where I work at the BBC. So usually when I go for a poo, I

can be there for as long as I like without being troubled. What? Can I ask? No peeking. Do you go up a floor, down a floor? No, no, no, no. They're on your floor? Yeah.

So I was in there the other day, and as I was dropping mustard, I don't know what that means. Was it nasty yellow and pasty consistency? Yeah, so I was in there the other day and as I was dropping mustard Was it nasty yellow and paste? No, no, no, it's a perfectly solid beast beast Okay, good. Anyway, I was sitting there, you know dropping my leavings a man came in and it's fine You know man comes in he goes in you hear the zip and then he was like you just go Like that! And then it was like... And then he just walked off, he washed his hands and then walked off and I thought Christ! He didn't wipe his arse? No, he was peeing.

Oh! Yeah, it was pee! Oh, he probably had some nasty... Oh, that's not nice. No, it didn't sound good. This isn't a funny story. I wasn't saying it was funny, it was just an observation I made. Some poor man at the BBC.

Because I tell you what I have realised, sitting on the toilet sometimes when people come in and out to piss while you're sitting there, men do this a lot when they go pee and they go, UGHH, like that. It's relieving. Yeah, but they're very vocal about it. I'm very silent when I pee. I'm quite vocal. I'm not in public. No. I change my, I modify my behavior when I'm around other people. A bit of a two minutes, we can wrap up. No, no, no. Was that your story? God. It wasn't really a story. It wasn't really a story. It wasn't like Tales from the Plop floor. It wasn't like that.

No, it wasn't. It was just an observation. Tales from the Plop floor. We're not inviting that. I don't want to have a list of people emailing us about their toilet stories. The Cheap Show at gmail.com. Anyway. I thought that was where it was going. No, I was just saying it was an observation. I was having a poo and this man seemed to have had a very, very painful piss. I've just, Paul.

And it came out sounding like an asping snake. It was little bursts. Well, that's what you've got to look forward to. Old age, it all starts to go, doesn't it? Well, I didn't know what he looked like. I can't speak for his age. Like, oh, you know what? I saw the other day, night time weeing, it's increasing in younger men. Why? They don't know because of the internet they think. There's all these reasons. But, you know, nocturnal micturation I think they call it.

Do you know what I heard about this week? So every now and then, very rarely, but every now and then my cat comes in and then starts zooming about the house for no reason. I'm like, why are you zooming inside the house? You've just been outside. But he'll run around darting really quick as far as he can go in the space, running around and then he hides under something. Right. And I was like, oh, what?

No, I looked it up. Oh, where is it? I don't know, but it was something called rectal euphoria. And it's a thing that certain cats get, that when they have a big poo, it stimulates a nerve in their bottom, which kind of gets them going. So they come and then they run around and they go, blblblblblblblblblblblblblbl? No. You've never had a poo and it's like kind of giving you a bum-o tingle? I've been glad. I've had relief. I feel relieved. But you've never been like an arsehole stimulation with afterwards, you've gone, fucking hey, come on! No, never. Let's go golfing or something,

I don't know. Golfing? What turns you to Jimmy Tarbuck? Yeah. Ho ho! Urgh, plop. Ho ho! Like that. I go for Jimmy Tar plops. Yeah, great, Paul. But yeah, nighttime micturations. Who's Forsythes? It's because people are up playing games or on the internet and they drink. You shouldn't drink a load of water at night. But they're all drinking energy drinks, aren't they?

Because they're the young dudes. But it used to be much more old men were affected by it. Anyway, rectal euphoria. That is a good name for it. I think if I got it right, but that's what it does. Well, I mean, it can mean other things for cats as well when they do that, but one of them was the rectal euphoria. We're in danger of stepping on Joe Rogan's literal stand up here, but really, it must be related to the fact that you can get someone to or donkey. Hello. You can get someone to a man to come by just putting the stimulating

it's rectal. You're the prostate or whatever. You know, well, there is. So that's what I'm thinking. Is it something like that? Is it something where there's maybe there's a gland or something? I'd have to really look at the email, but I don't have the time for that now because we weren't meant to be talking about. It's not like the cat comes in rushes around and goes, no, it's kind of like it gets a shot of energy from it or a shot of whatever and it just has to burn it off. And it can happen in some humans. By the way, Paul, now that we're talking about... After a particularly yawning poo.

Yawning poo? Yeah, you know, it really opens you up like that. Oh dear. A nice big yawning girthy delivery. Hang on, hang on. This shouldn't be... Whilst we're talking about this, I just need to mention one thing. Yeah.

Okay, no, there are two things. There are two very quick things. Go on, they have to be. I've realised the Randy Dog and the Horny Dog, they're twins and they're both working the yard. Wait, hang on. Randy Dog is Horny Dog? No, no, no, that's what I thought. That's because they are. No, they're two different dogs. Are I thought. That's because they are.

No, they're two different dogs. Are they? Twin dogs. They're twin dogs. That ejaculate a lot. You notice. I ate this. For nine years I've been trying to get this podcast taken seriously.

Some kind of respectful. Oh here we go. You know, some kind of respectful. Here we go. You love the Randy dog and the horny dog. Anyway, it's two dogs. That's the end of that point Oh here we go. You know, some kind of respectful. Here we go. You love the roundy dog and the horny dog. Anyway, it's two dogs. That's the end of that point. Right, great.

Two dogs. Okay, second point. Like a bad Alco pops in it, two dogs. Okay. Talking about macro facts, right? Yeah. Do you know what the most, the first fact, the fact that comes before everything else, the salient macro fact of all time.

Do you know what it is? The alpha fact. The alpha fact. Go on. My knob smells of fish. Do you wonder why we don't get nominated for independent podcast awards? Oh fuck off, you said that was corrupt. Shh.

Right, next. Oh, you know what, it's been seven minutes. I'm just gonna end this and call it a segment. Oh, I call it a segment. It's a segment. One thing Paul, one thing. No, no, no, no, I just said we're gonna get straight into it. No more fucking chuntering of sides. Pocket it. Put a pin in it. You've got nothing to give right now. Do I have something very good? You have nothing to, no, okay, let me

rephrase it. I don't want you to give anything right now. There's a subtle difference and that subtle difference is my abject hatred of your constant fucking mouth garbage. So calm it. Just let me read this fucking letter. Thank you. Fucking hell. Got this message. Is everyone enjoying themselves? From Robin Island. Hello, Rob in Ireland.

Hey diddly diddly. That one's for you. Robin Island? Rob in... Robin Island. Not Robin Island. His father was John Island. No. Rob.

Mary and John Island. Who lives within the boundaries of Island. Someone is stealing from Island, Robin Island. Are they rubbing Island? Are they some kind of sex worker in Island? I'm just going to let them talk for a bit and then cut this out. The thing I wanted to say before was... Cunt, you fucking cunt.

Fucking bastard. Was Segment Freud. was segment Freud that's what you should call the new segment hello tell me about your segment it's about my penis it's smell of fish yeah well this goes back to what I was thinking about this for you well I think you struggle to be an intelligent match for your co-host and so you overcompensate by pure grottage from it and your penis, the tiny peepee, we know it.

Oh the tiny peepee. The tiny peepee, you get it up, I hate this. I'm not doing this. I'm not. Just because I'm not doing this. I was thinking this through. You're so bad this week. I'm just thinking this through.

I'm not interested. What? It's now two minutes. Read the letter. Fucking read it then from Robin Ireland. Mr. Ireland. Island. Hello. This is a purely texture based challenge.

So this came in a little baggie with two packets of crisps. We'll tell you what they are as the letter goes on. That clue is in the nationality. Yeah, true. Tato. There we go. Tato have produced a crisp version of their excellent Mighty Munch snack. And then there's a little parentheses just next to it that leads me to this sentence that says

I have never heard anyone call these crisps by their official name. They were called Monster Munch until walkers came to Ireland in the 90s and then Tato had to change the name to Mighty Munch which is either a legal thing or for marketing reasons. However, everyone over here still calls them Monster Munch snacks. How funny. And they are the same as Monster Munch as we know them. Well, the format is the same.

Yeah. I have included both here and would be interested to hear your views regarding the relative merits of each of the conveyance of the hot and spicy flavour. Does one deliver more amplitude, etc.? Thank you for the fantastic podcast, Robin Ireland. Thank you very much, Rob. We have them here. I didn't know anything about this and I didn't know that they were called that. See this is, it piques my interest, Paul, because I'm always interested in things. I know there's a name for this, there's a term for this, where a brand name becomes

the name of the generic object, like Hoover Kleenex. Kleenex, etc. Yes. And that seems to be a similar effect here, isn't it? But it's not exactly the same as that, but it's like they must have based their original Mighty Munch. Is it Mighty Munch? The Tato Monster Munch equivalents are called Mighty Munch, however, before the 90s they were branded as Monster Munch. Right, and they're still known as Monster Munch there.

Locally, yes. They must have nicked Monster Munch when it was like two separate countries. It's like- We'd have to look into the history of it and I don't want it. It's like Turkish Star Wars or Turkish Spider-Man. I guess. You see what I mean? There's places where they just don't care about Western copyright and it must have been

a similar thing. Or it didn't matter in Ireland. It didn't matter, yeah. So they could just release something similar, call it something similar, it was out of the jurisdiction of whatever. Well, call it the same thing. Because Monster Munch was what, originally Smith's or was it originally... I think it was Smith's, wasn't it?

Yeah. And then it got bought, I mean everything got bought by Walker Lay's eventually anyway. Which is Pepsi, you know that. Yeah, and you always bring that up, that's why I know that. Because you say it every, every time. We just need to lay out the foundation. So we have here, Mightyunch hot and spicy flavour. For those in the UK who know what a monster munch is, you know what a monster munch is.

But the rest of the world, it is a puffed maze snack that has a lot of bite to it. And each shape of this snack is kind of like it's meant to be a paw, isn't it? It's a monster's hand. Yes. Or claw. Although this debate about that, about whether it's meant to be, you know, I could watch a monster upside down with its... Oh yes. Yeah, but I mean that's... Were there more than one shape though? There were more than one shape?

No, there were always that. Just that one shape? Yeah. A claw shape. Okay. I want to... because I remember, and I want to know if it's a Mandela effect thing or whatever, that there was a hot version of British Monster Munch, whatever. Okay, you look that up while I crack on with this. So hang on. No, no, no, I'm doing a voice search.

Just type it. It's easier. Voice search works better as well. Did there used to be a hot flavor chili flavor of Monster Munch in the UK? That needs to know, it's a question. Yes, Monster Munch used to have, used to have a hot flavored chili flavor called Flamin' Hot.

You were right. Yeah, I said that. Yeah, but I thought Flamin' Hot. You were right. Yeah, I said that. Yeah, but I thought Flamin' Hot, because they can't use that. It was in the red packet. That was before, obviously, the Cheetos Flamin' Hot has become a trademark brand in its own. It all gets muddy at that point, but effectively, yeah. There was Flamin' Hot, beef and pickled onion. Yeah, but they've dropped the Flamin' Hot, haven't they? It was particularly poor with that horrible sweet chili flavor. That's what I'm hoping these don't have you know that artificial

Doritos chili heat wave In fact when you smell this you will find a fact it let me just get into this very quickly So that's the original flavor hot and spicy mighty munch But now they've brought out the exact same flavor profile for their regular potato crisps So it's mighty munch flavored crisps and in this instance hot and spicy. So does this mean to say Mighty Munch are only in hot and spicy flavor? I've got it. I've got the Wikipedia page open for you. Go on then. So just on that first point about Monster Munch in the UK, original Monster Munch, whatever you want to call it, in March 2024 the Flaming Hot Flavor, so that's this year, so it's

been going, was renamed and this is a much more accurate description of the flavour in my view to sweet and spicy flaming hot. Interesting. You see it's that sweetness. It has got a sweetness to it. Which they don't, they used to not want to mention that but now it's like a selling point because of Thai sweet chilli and sriracha which is a sweet sauce. So what does it say about Mighty Munch then? Hang on, it's got Tato Monster Munch Ireland here. Do you want me to look at that article? In Ireland, the major potato crisp and corn snack brand Tato made a spicy flavoured corn snack with the same name.

Yep, it was always spicy. It was always spicy. So yeah, upon the movement of walkers into the Irish market in the 90s, this is exactly what Rob said, the name Monster Munch was purchased from Tato, so they had to buy it off them. Oh, that's interesting. And then they said, all right, well, then we'll call it Monster Munch and you give us a big check and you can call yours Monster Munch. No, you, no, they said to Walker.

Yeah, you will call us our Mighty Munch if you give us a load of money. Yeah, okay. They didn't have to change it. They could keep calling it Monster Munch if they liked. Oh, fair enough. But they got the payout from Walker. Probably. Get some of that Pepsi dollar.

Yeah, probably made pence. Oh fair enough. But they got the payout from Orphans. Get some of that Pepsi dollar. Yeah, probably made tense. P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P- says Mighty Munch flavoured Chris because the only flavour is hot and spicy. That's the one flavour. So Averhoof, it's open at the top by accident because when I took the letter off it was stapled on. That's very much that sweet, I'm getting that sweetness. It's the same, it's the same as flaming hot Monster Munch to me to the nose. Right. Exactly the same. And you're opening the real Chris.

Except I'm opening the real Chris and there's a bigger potato hoof on top of that spicy. Well that's because they are potato and these are corn. Yes, no I know but what I'm saying is there's more, there's more, definitely more odour to potato crisp than there is a corn odour to corn based crisp. Yeah it overwhelms the the flavourless puff maize flavour, whereas the potatoist of this has got much more mingled in. Yeah. So I'm going to try the potato first. I'm going to try these, they look very much like a Monster Munch claw. I wonder if the texture's the same. No, not as good. Alright, let's swap.

And then we'll talk. Flavouring's alright. Alright, I'm gonna try this one. Now I'm eating the puffed one. And I'm gonna try the potato crisp one. Potatoes crisps, they're actual potato crisps. Oh great, as we all know. You know, the texture isn't quite there on those.

I think it's just as good. It's not as... It's not as aerated, I know what you mean. It's got more... Thank you very much, because that's exactly what I was... Aeration. That's exactly what I was going to try to describe. The bubbles, so to speak, on real Monster Munch are larger. The air pockets are bigger within the...

More crystalline almost. Yes, and it gives it more of a crunch that is missing there. Saying that though! They're softer, they're not bad, but that's not... I like the density of these. Yeah, they're a little bit denser and softer, aren't they? Not softer, there's definitely a crunch there. I just think the density is quite nice. It doesn't speak. No,

it doesn't have that fucking big up-front punch in the gob of a monster. Yeah, that almost could rip your soft palate. But the question here is which one delivers the hot and spicy flavour better? I haven't tried these yet. Go on then. We've been talking. He's going in. Nibbly knob, nibbly knob. I like those as well. I think I agree. I like the potato chips more. There's absolutely nothing, honestly, nothing wrong with Mighty Munch Hot and Spicy. Really lovely snack. Nice texture, nice flavour if you like that kind of thing. It is very much on the sweet side, the sweet chilli. Not much of a real kick.

No, no, but that's fine. I'm used to that. That's what I expect. However, the delivery system of the flavour with the potato crunch kind of takes the edge off that sweetness somewhat and gives it a more umami-ish level of flavour. You're absolutely right, there's more umami. Amplitude though, in terms of sort of like a unified sort of flavour whole is probably better with the actual Monster Munch ones, but that definitely has a different flavour, it's that potato umami flavour. Do you know, in this case, I would argue this is like a no score draw. This is like, Munch ones, but that definitely has a different flavour. It's that potato umami flavour. You know, in this case, I would argue this is like a no score draw. This is like, no one wins, no one loses. They're both nice flavour profiles. They both have enough flavour and texture within

their separate forms to be perfectly edible and nice. To be honest, I think the flavour is nicer than the actual Monster Munch. It seems a little bit, I mean I would argue maybe the Monster Munch Flaming Hot is sweeter. It's sweeter and a bit more artificial. Tomatoey almost. Yeah. Honestly, if you're looking for which one's best, I think A, it's going to be a personal preference and B, I don't think it matters in this case. Really hard.

It's not like the Pickled Onion Monster Munch Potato Crisp thing we did at Garden's Gold. Which were an aberration. They were terrible. That was the Ganon's Golden Quest thing, wasn't it? That was when we found the Geocache. That was that episode. Yeah. That was the Gannon's Golden Quest thing, wasn't it? That was when we found the geocache. That was that episode, yeah. That was a good episode, though. It was a walkabout in Epping Forest, wasn't it, with...

Ethan. Ethan Lawrence. Who's being on our live show, October 19th, Saturday, 1pm. Ready to go. Yo, it's coming together. Need to sort that out fucking soon. So, in a nutshell, no score draw. Lovely crisps.

I personally prefer the potato crisps, but they're so good at that Tato, aren't they? Yeah, they are quite good at their flavour profile. They're crisps are so nice and they're just a great company and I think very much the equal of Walkers, aren't they really? Yeah, I mean... I haven't had any ever had a Tato flavour that I thought I didn't, I don't like that. No, this is the thing, they're kind of like, what's the phrase I'm looking for? You know, like they're a big fish in a small pond in many respects with islands and they just rule the roost there. But they do export now.

You see it in British shops a lot. Yeah. Used to be a thing stand-ups talked about a lot because you're always gigging in Ireland. You should really try the tato and everyone's favourite stand-up is their flavour crave, flavour crave, cravey flavour. I can't fucking say it! Favourite flavour! It's pickled on you, I've given up. Anyway, Robin Ireland, no score draw, thank you very much, what a lovely taste experiment.

Just standing at the bus stop waiting to... it's getting cold it's getting cold this time yeah should have put your bigger coat on. The bus is the Tic Tic Man coming. Yeah it's coming soon anyway. Ding ding they're all aboard for the snack palace. Uh two please. No no we're waiting at the bus stop. Yeah we're already here the bus look the snack palace is just up there Paul.

We're waiting for the new entrance to arrive on the bus. We're not waiting to get on the bus. Hang on. I got on the wrong bus, Eli. Come off the bus, Paul. Oh no, I have to get off the next stop. Jump off. Hang on, I'll do the next one. Jump off the back.

Hang on, hang on. Ding ding. Ptsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss run back. He's running back. Oh god. I'm sorry. I went off a stop. I didn't realise. Paul, you got on the bus. We're already at the Chris Palace. I'm trying to explain to you. We have to wait for the next one. The Chris will come along. Oh yeah. Alright. So. How long do you think it's going to be? It's quite regular every... It's every 10 seconds or so, isn't it? Something like that. Oh, here he is. Ding ding! Blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah What have we got here? Hello! Hello there, who are you? Hello! My name is

Rice Chicken with Mayonnaise Sauce Walkers, limited edition Oh, you are very interesting, aren't you? I just want to go in the snack palace Well, yes, we want you to go in the snack palace as well

I want to work with the snack palace. Well, yes, we want you to go in the snack palace as well. I want to work with the towels. Okay, you can work, definitely work with the towels. You shouldn't have done this for us. You're gonna have to keep it up now though, Paul. Now, what are your friends, I don't want to keep calling you chicken sandwich flavored... Rice chicken sandwich with mayonnaise. Yes, with Heinz mayonnaise. Now, didn't we... You've got a little brother and sister, don't you? A couple of weeks ago, you saw a...

cheesy beanie. Cheesy bean toasty. I don't know if you saw the other one. What was the other one? Saucy. Oh, the sausage sandwich and tomato ketchup. Yes, it's part of the Heinz-Walkers crossover. I wanted them gone in, I don't remember it. I can't do that voice. It's fucking... You can do it. Stop trying to force it. I have to...

Just relax into it. Relax into it, Paul. Howie Mandel did a really good job at Gizmo. Just an animal from Luppet Babies. Just relax. That's what I'm trying to do here. Just relax a bit, okay? Stop trying to force it.

Yeah, there you go. I just wanted to join the snack palace. Which one did my brothers got in? It was the one we liked because we didn't actually do official snack palace. No, we had it off camera that one, didn't it? But we did put in, we put in... We dropped them off at the snack palace and we drove on. So which one got in? Do you remember? Yeah, I do. It was the cheese toasty with beans.

Oh, yeah. No, fair enough. That got right in. And there was too much tomato in that sausage one to qualify. It was a bit tangy. It wasn't great. Now... Yeah, much tomato in that sausage one to get to qualify. It was a bit tangy, wasn't great. Now... Yeah, I'd rather have a go myself. Right, and I do... your brother... Yeah, how did he get on?

Look, he's here, I just... Give him a shout, he's in that window, I see him! Yeah. He's in there. Nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nye Hey! Hello! Hey, Roast Chicken Sandwich and Mayonnaise! How you doing? They treating you alright down there? Who are you talking to? The crisps, my brother, the crisps you twats! Who else am I fucking talking to?

What are you doing? What's this you're doing? I'm cheese toast! What do you mean? What are you doing? You're doing a character or something? Why? You're just tasting crisps. Just play as a window! I'm out of the window! What are you doing? I'm confused. Eli, no see it either. What are you doing? We're just eating crisps here. What are you doing? I'm confused. Eli, no see it either. What are you doing? We're just eating crisps here. What are you doing? You doing a character or something? What's going on?

Uh, Paul, yeah? What's going on right now? Now, shut the window will you? Oh, shut the window. Go back to work on the towels. Yeah, there he goes, Paul. Now, you, now you, you see your brother's doing well. You saw he was doing well. He wasn't in the towel mine, so he's not being worked hard. So, you mate, we're going to taste you, you see your brother's doing well, you saw he was doing well, he wasn't in the town mine so he's not being worked hard. So you mate, we're going to taste you then you can see if you can get into the snack palace. Okay here we go. Open yourself up.

Slowly. Slowly. Get a jiggle on the jostle. Get the dust on the jistle and then oscillating. Give it a little jostle. Give it a little jostle. Give it a little jostle. Mate, this is weird.

Getting the Chris Perform sex shows for us. Yeah, open up the fucking hole. Open up your fucking juicy flap. Yeah. Have a half of that, Paul. Oh, it does smell like a chicken sandwich. I'll say that for it. It does. How funny. I've got a distinct of that Paul. Oh it does smell like a chicken sandwich. I'll say that for it. It does.

How funny. I've got a distinct opinion about these. Alright I'm gonna open it. You don't mind if I peek in do you? And have a little nibble of your wares. I'm not not not. Good. Here we go.

I don't need to taste these again. Alright I'm gonna have one. They've replicated chicken sandwich somehow. Which is weird. It's chicken and mayonnaise sort of taste. I really like that. I don't know what it is if I was going to be off of the chicken flavored crisp or that that's better I like the mayo-y part of it where it kind of comes creamy yeah just give it oh I like I actually really like these I think you'll find I had exactly the same

um reaction to you Paul I thought oh this is like an improved chicken, roast chicken flavored crisp. Yeah. But I tired of them and I wasn't able to even to finish a multi-pack. They all come in multi-packs these don't they? They're only multi-packs but limited edition but I wasn't able to finish it. You mean the pack itself? Just one pack? I couldn't finish a whole pack. I can see that. I get tired of it. It's nice at first but then it doesn't really keep going, the niceness, do you know what I mean? I'm quite a fan of these. Okay, well you've got a whole six packets of them to go. I mean I would have to work my way through this pack and see how I felt at the end but just for a couple of dips I like this Chris. It might

be my favourite of the three. Is there room in the in the snack palace? In the cheese toasty beans where they're staying, is there room that we can put them in the same bed, which saves on towels. If he's going in the snack palace, then he has to share a room with cheesy beans. Oh, did he get in? No! Yeah, no, he got in. He's coming up to you now. Oh, I'm so excited! Go on. Well done, mate.

Oh! Oh! Why are you rubbing your groin when you did that? What's that about, mate? No, seriously, what was that about? That was weird. Even for you. I'm not... What do you mean? I'm just getting into the character. The Criss Brother. So what? So, OK, they're brothers and yet he still rubs his cock as he's coming in. There's something going on there. I think you need to carefully consider where this idea could go and see if that's something you really want to commit to.

Do you want to go with Incest Chris Brothers? Incest Chris Brothers! Right, okay. Fine. Chonk! Hang on. Brr brr brr. Oh, who's that?

Brr brr brr. Hello? Who is it, Paul? It's the local council. The local council what, for the snack parlor? No, no, no. Out here in the desert? Apparently.

They've sent someone along to check the safety of the tower mines. They didn't tell me they were coming today. Yeah, yeah, yeah, one sec. Yeah, tell him we're not here. No, he's coming next week to fix that. They've had rumours of we've been covering up accidents in the mine and maybe disposing of bodies. Well, we have. Yeah, but they want to go down there and look.

Shh, don't. There's crisps nearby. There's crisps hauling towels nearby. But if they go into the napkin caverns, they'll see where we've stashed all the bodies. The napkin caverns. The napkin caverns is where we've put the bodies. I know. It's a little...

It's an offlet. We'll just have to... How many people are they sending? From the towel mines. We'll just have to wait in ambush here. They're sending... Hang on, one sec. How many people are coming and when?

Margaret Fisher from the head of safety. Margaret Fisher. Alastair Crowley. Alastair Crowley is in charge of structural integrity. They're just the two of them. One's in charge of safety, one's in charge of structural integrity. Yeah, no, just give us half an hour.

Fine. We'll meet you there. We'll meet you there. Are you coming alone or are you bringing anyone? Like police or something like that. Shh. No, they're just coming alone. Don't be obvious. All right, we'll see you there. We'll meet you there. Are you coming alone or are you bringing anyone? Like police or something? No, they're just coming alone. Don't be obvious. Alright, we'll see you later then. We'll see you there.

We'll kill them. And put them in the napkin caves. Napkin caves? Not napkin coal. It's not napkin coal. That's what you mine in the napkin caves. Napkin coal. napkin caves! Nat King Cole! Nat King Cole's napkin caves, all right? Yeah, just give us half an hour then.

We'll meet you there. Right, we're gonna meet them there. We'll fucking take them down to the Nat King Cole. Nat King Cole. Nat King Cole. Bye! Alligator data. Crocodile profile.

Well, come on, you just threw it at me. That was not bad on the spot. It's related to macro facts. Right. So I want fish or something aquatic at least and then what? No, what? Cod migration information. Oh no, that got him because now he's trying to think of one everyone. It's very hard. I'm thinking you give me time. Give me give me time. We all, give me time. We all know the salient mackerel fact though. Mackerel fact, mackerel fact, mackerel fact.

What? I had a little song. I had a little song brewing in my head. Go on, because I've got one. Go in the room, go in the room, who's in the room? This is very close to Bill Donut territory just so you know. What's in the room? There's a trap in the room. It's very close to Bill Donut territory just so you know. What's in the room? There's a trap in the room.

What noise does the trap make? Chong! Yes! Stop it, sit down. Sprat data. Sprat data. Sprat data. Very good, yes. Thank you. Sprat data. Sprat data. Very good, well done. Dum da dum da dum da dum da Tiddly tum da tum Oh, in Mother's special box She has all her special toys She won't look in, play with them It's not for naughty boys And then one day I slipped my hand in What did I go? I grabbed a great big vibrating Electric dilly-doe Oh, a dilly-doe, a dilly-day A dilly-day we bake A dilly-dum, a dilly-day Adley-day, a diddley-day-day-day A diddley-dum, a diddley-day, a diddley-day-day-day-day A tickled ankle, a tiddly-tombe, a tiddly-tombe, a tiddly-tombe-day

And then the glass dildo The glass dildo is no more The end of Bill Donut's very brief return to the podcast Right, so, hey, look, you know what it's time for? It's time for the... It is the charity shop, diddle diddle showcase It's the warm place where you can show your stuff Come and come and come, come on come

To the charity shop, ooo showcase Check it out! I'm Jimmy, Jim, Jimmy, Jim, Jim, Jim Paterotti I'm the Jimmy and Paterotti Chim Charmy I've got a Chim Charmy army And I've got Paterotti It's the Shirley Shop, little, little showcase It's the warm place where you can show your stuff

This, I really want to use that music every time. Yeah, because it was made for us by Noiseland, who, get this, is going to release all of the songs he's made for Cheap Show today, including the beginning title theme, so you can get it on Spotify or Bandcamp and whatnot. He's going to release it as a little EP. That's fun. It's coming in a few weeks. It's exciting.

But no, it is time for the charity shop showcase where one of us buys something from a charity shop which catches our attention, does maybe fit the remit of another segment and it's something we can show off and go, cool blimey, what an amazing thing that is. And colloquially we do go for slightly higher priced items than we normally talk about. Yes, something that's worth it. Because you know it's cheap show, it's cheap show, Paul. It is. It's cheap show and we need to be clear.

But even so. We need to be clear. But even so. We need to be close to that message. Mate. We need to be clear. We need to be close to that message. We need to be on board with the message of things being cheap. But for this very one segment, for this very one segment, for this little time, we'll get some breathing room. Nattering twat. Just shut up. You're only interested here in the sound of your own voice half the time and I'm getting tired of it. I've got salient things to talk about. Important things. Mind altering things. Because what I've got salient things to talk about, important things, mind-altering things, because what I've got today is nothing short of a miracle. My Charity

Shop showcase, Mr Silverman, is the best thing I've ever seen and I can't believe I just bought it in a charity shop. I genuinely can't believe I bought this in a charity shop because it could change how we live. Can we explain the segment to everyone? Just did. We buy something a little bit better and it's something to show off. No you didn't. No you did not. I did. It's a competition! You weren't listening because you were too busy in your head going...

No I wasn't. No I wasn't Paul. You were too busy being angry. And anger is just sadness directed out... You're ruining my big lead up to this. Shut up. No you didn't explain the system of the game. It's a showcase. It's something from a charity shop which is better than... Yes but we decide whether it goes in or not and there's a binary don't we? Yeah but you said that earlier in the show didn't you? I didn't explain the system of the game. It's a showcase, it's something from a charity shop. Yes, but we decide whether it goes in or not and there's a binary, don't we? Yeah, but you said that earlier in the show, didn't you?

I didn't say that. You did. We need to make that clear now. I will be deciding, everybody. Remember you said the no place thing and we brought it up and I mentioned it. Whether it's a showcase or has no place. Which shows you don't listen to yourself half the time either. No, that was hours ago.

This is just, well, is it? Was it? Not for the listener. Not for the listener. We should bring it up again at the beginning of the segment. It's only good, it's good and hygienic and clean like my balls. Worth it wasn't it? Worth it wasn't it? Was it worth it? Worth it? Was it? Yes. Was it? Was it? Yes. It was worth it. Was it? Worth it? Yes it was. Hang on, hang on Paul. Yeah. The crow's flying and it's got a little message tied to its leg. Ah! Shuffle shuffle. Oh it's a little message, it says the fish.

Five minutes and we're just getting into it. I've got nothing now Paul. You've... Mr Silverman. Your attitude has made me not funny. I was building up to this and you just interrupted me with pap and slap lipped nonsense. So I'm going to do it again. Mr Silverman, what you're about to see on this podcast, on something that no other podcast has ever done, is change the

laws of physics. What I've got here is nothing short of miracle in a box. I'll be a judge of that. And I'm gonna hand it to Eli now. It's a little... Oh am I allowed to open it myself? Yeah it's a little black cardboard box with the treat inside. I want you to tell everyone the miracle of what's inside. Oh it looks like something that is sprung like a trap. No, no, nothing like that. Honestly, you can check the inside of it. Yeah, it feels sprung. It's just because it's not been put back in the box

because I was testing it. I feel like it's going to. No, honestly. Are you double bluffing me? Not today, no, as you'll soon find out in the course of time. You can turn it upside down, have a look at the other side, just out of interest. Maybe that'll give you a clue.

Invisibility cloak. Mr. Silverman, I have brought you a real functioning invisibility cloak. Amazing. It turns you invisible. There's a hole, a circular hole in the top of the box. It says invisibility cloak in classy gold. So that's how we know this is a top drawer entertainment item. And there's cloth.

Should I pull it through the hole? No, you can open it normal. Just open it at the side. It's fine. Open it at the side normally. But you can reveal. I can see you spent £5 on this. £5 down from what Mr Silverman? Down from 10. So again, I am at check, look an invisibility cloak for £5. That's pretty

good. If it works I'd pay more than £5 for that. If it actually was able. It does, it works, it must do, otherwise they wouldn't be able to sell it would they? If you were able to. What? This just seems to have an inside which is green. Oh, it's green screen. No, no, no. It's a real, you put it on and I guarantee you, we'll be able to see it. Put it on and you'll disappear. Which side?

With the green side out? Stand up, stand up. There's green on one side and sort of blue. Like, velveteen kind of pattern. Like a tie-dye kind of almost. Almost, but no, they're geometrical shapes. Yeah. There's a print on one side.

Anyway, it's a cloak. You can put it on. Which should be on the outside. You put it on. There's a top to it. It kind of goes over your head like a kind of cape. So it goes over your shoulders. Yeah look see he's putting it on now I think. There's no arms for it. You just rest it on your shoulders. Do you know how to put a cape on? There you go. Oh where's he gone? Eli are you there? Where's he gone? Eli? Ladies and gentlemen I can only say that it works. It must work, he's invisible.

It's Harry Potter. Oh! Who said that? Who said that everyone? This isn't going in the fucking showcase man, this is shit. Maybe- The Harry Potter thing has put me right off the bat. Yeah, it's a Harry Potter piece of shit. It's a piece of shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ii i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i download this app. This is how it works. There's a camera and it's got an app and basically don't touch it. You put the green on outside though right? Yeah let me show you. It comes with an app and then you have to set your scenes. I have to now frame this in a background where there's nothing moving right so I have to basically take a still frame and then there's a video or photograph

option so I can make a little video of myself. So I'm just going to reach in because I can't be in the shot when I press this button. Can't you do it live on the catch? So when you look at the camera you don't appear. You're gonna see now. So watch, so all I'm gonna do is just take, press the video button, and it's gonna just capture this background, which is just my fireplace in the flat I'm in.

Ready? Okay. And now I'm gonna record. Okay, watch this. Eli, tell them what's happening. So he's got into the, I'm looking at the phone, and he's holding up the sheet. But what side am I holding up?

He's holding up the, not the green side. And then he's holding up the the sheet he's holding up the not the green side and then he's going to he's doing a little dance for us and he's turning around and he's disappearing oh look at that oh no it's flashing because I only record 20 seconds I should have gone to it quicker here we go right ready I'm gonna do it quicker ladies and gentlemen watch me disappear with this real invisible sheet. Watch this. Oh, I'm gone. Yeah, it's a video effect that goes.

His head's floating now. I can see your head, because it's poking up. What if I got my dick out? It's over now. Doing it on the video. How do you think you did there, Paul? Look at that. Yeah, saving media wrong. Saving that, saved it. it's over now. Doing it on the Right, okay. Go! He's in and into shot. There he is. Look at him. Oh, he's dancing with the little blue sheep, but watch within tricks. Oh no, he's kind of in, he's still in shot and it's weird.

I can see you now on top of that. That's very strange. That's a fucking nightmare. I don't like this at all. Stop this. Stop this. Saving media. So there we go. Mr. Silverman, for the measly cost of a £5 pound note a swift beep on a card against Twixt Machine I have got invisibility the powers mate the powers I have the powers I don't like it sneaking into Panks banks sneaking into banks and then robbing and you can do that could you could yeah as long as I carry on the phone no I just you show I could. Yeah, as long as I carry it. So it's not only on the phone? No, I just... You show them the phone?

Hold this. I say to them, hold this security guard at the bank, hold this and look at me. And then I go in, I go, and I rob some money and they don't see it. And they don't see me. So there you go, an invisible cloak, five pounds, the most amazing thing in the world. It has to be, it has to go in. Paul. It's going in. You know why I don't like it? It's going in, isn't it? It's got a place in the showcase. It has to be. It has to go in. Paul. It's going in. You know why I don't like it? It's going in, isn't it? It's got a place in the showcase. It doesn't have a place. It fucking does. It's magic. You can start your own showcase. It's a magic show.

It's not that good. It's magic. It's not that good. And you know what also I don't like about it? Magic. It's going in. I don't like the things that you need in an app that will disappear. So it's making the whole resources useless. Okay, that's one thing. Do you think that app will be supported forever? Is that app just for that one product? That's never going to stay. But I'm invisible and I can be invisible. No, so there's that. There's horrible waste of resources for something that won't have any last. I'll break into your house at night and I'll mug you. And the other thing. And I'll say, hold me phone first and hold it up and then I'll do the thing and then I'll let you know who did that. The other thing yeah it's great

for kids to learn about video effects and how it's all done and all this stuff green screen chroma key and all that stuff technology why but you you just make sure that Warner Brothers and fucking JK Rowling get some money for that well instead of the joy of learning. The charity shop got it in this case. Yes I know I'm not saying but you know what I'm getting at, I'm talking about the product itself. So some good has come from evil. I'm talking about the product itself. Yeah. It's cynically corporatized toy that has a shelf life as long as the app and just makes money for them out of something that should be wonderful. You're right it should be a wonderful thing but it's just it's totally trademarked with this fucking poison. I'm not here no more. That is their corporate thing. He's put it's totally trademarked with this fucking poison that is

their corporate thing he's put the thing over his head i'm not here no more he doesn't know i'm here he looks like a green thing now i just like the green man who's saying this you don't know because i'm invisible don't you know it's you paul who's this i'm sorry i just have to go with my heart paul your heart says wrong you're wrong it not, it doesn't have a place. And this is the greatest, greatest. It wasn't, why did you really, did it bring you genuine joy? Look how invisible I am right now. I'm not, you look.

I'm invisible as a ghost. I'm taking a photo of you. Look, I'm invisible as a ghost. I'm hidden from the human eye. Eli can't see me. I'm giving him the bird right now and he don't fucking know. That's how good it is being a man who's invisible.

That's me and this gift, this showcase is that thing Mr Silverman. So please grant me, grant me the respect of classing this as a showcase item. No. Or I'll haunt you forever as an invisible man. I don't give a shit. What kind of haunting? Will it be sex haunting? Maybe. Glass still down. Listen, I might be a polterchonk or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or...

Oh, you look really weird. Chonker guys. Your glasses look like eyes. Let me... I'm going to take a... How about that? Look towards me. Oh, got me glasses on.

Thanks for listening to the show, everyone. I'm an invisible man. Paul did have quite a tiring weekend. And he does a lot of work on on cheap show look everyone I'm an invisible man with the show how is this possible with science physics mr. silverman he edits the show every week with physics mr. silverman hey where these glasses hovering but we do appreciate you know you listening to the show, dear listeners, I'm not mean about you really.

I really thought today when he... I'm an invisible man. ...when he... It's going in. When Paul said, macro, macro facts. That was the highlight. How is this happening? And for me, it hasn't really...

How is this happening with the glasses floating? It really hasn't worked for me. How is it? Look, watch this. And I'm not doing this just to be mean to Paul. I mean, I know there's a dynamic there. These crisps, mate. How is this happening? Look at the crisps floating in the air. The crisps are floating in the air. How is it? Look, watch this. And I'm not doing this just to be mean to Paul. These crisps mate. I know there's a dynamic there. How is this happening? The crisps floating in the air.

The crisps floating in the air. How can you explain this? I'm not trying to explain it Paul. How can you explain this wonder of science? How are these crisps floating? It's not me. It's nothing to do with me mate. I'm not even here. I personally dislike Harry Potter. This smells mushy.

It does smell of wee doesn't it? A little bit of wee. Cat wee. That's drenched in cat piss. It's not going in is it? Paul, you're very late to the party on this. It's not going in. It's not a charity shop. No place. It's not going in the place. It's not going in. I regret this. Mate, I'm just sitting here with a green blanket on me. You are. Smelly green blanket. Well that's this week's show done. Smelly green blanket. And that's that for this week. Listen, one stop shop for all things Cheap Show, thecheapshow.co.uk. Go there and you'll find pages for episodes with photographs and videos in some cases. There are links to special episodes,

there's links to our YouTube channel where we have our fortnightly cheap shot little vids, where we just muck about on YouTube and also our Patreon if you want to get involved in that. And if you do, you'll get access to all sorts of extra videos and podcasts and magazines and behind the scenes things and all sorts of daft extra accoutrements. Other than that, they're not accoutrements. Shut up. Patreon.com forward slash cheap. Patreon. Shut your mouth. Sprinkle some fish in there. Patreon.com forward slash cheap show forward slash macro facts and you will get access to some amazing Sturge urgent. Sturge. Yes! I'm the surgeon of splurging. Everything's falling off your thing, man.

Yeah, because we keep wobbling everything. I'm sorry. And you're moving it because you keep rubbing it on your desk. Some kind of ghost toy just fell off. Yeah, it's my little Horde Audemars from the 2016 Ghostbusters, Ecto One. I haven't seen that. Yeah. I call it Mona.

Horde Audemars from the Ecto One of the 2016 movie. It's the equivalent of the Silver Spirit of Rolls Royce. Yes, yes, but I call it Mona. Did the... We're not doing this. Let's just wrap it up. Did the Ecto-1 in the first film have one of those? No. In the cartoon though, at the beginning of the cartoon Ecto-1 does have a little No Ghost logo on the hood ornament in the cartoon. But not in the film. Octopus Encyclopedios. Is that all you've got? That'd be a good prog album. We are Fen Church. We are Fen Church.

We're gonna play a whole album, latest album live. Octopus Encyclopedios, take it away. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I'm not gonna allow you to do this. I'm just gonna say goodbye and we'll see you next week on the podcast for more economy, comedy, fun. Why, see you next week on the podcast for more economy, comedy, fun. Why? See you next week, everyone.

Tune into... No, just say goodbye. I want to pimp my things. You've had your chance, but you thought you'd just do your octopi oculi or whatever it was called. Oh, that's even better. It's not at all. We are octopi oculi.

Say what you want to say and then we can wrap this up. I've got a music show, guys. It's on Soho Radio, which is an internet radio station and that is every two weeks from 2 to 4. And we do actually have a live session. If you're listening to this, the Friday comes out, a live session on this Sunday. Fuck me. And that is from... Tidious wank. You really want to go into this? Tidious wank. We're going to have Will Cruden.

Oh, not Will Cruden? From Scant Regard, that's the name of the group. Oh wow. That'll be from 2 to 4 on Sunday. Scant Regard. Wow. Wow. He's just nasty.

He's definitely tuned into that. He's masked off this week, isn't it? He's masked off this week. Masked off. No, he's put the smelly blanket on again. Put the piss blanket on of invisibility piss visibility invisibility Something like that. I don't know. All I can say is we'll see you next week on the show and that's Sprats you