Chubby Behemoth - Butt Skidmoore

Episode Date: December 7, 2021

Mingling & Tingling. Medical Mystery. No One Like Those Things. Noah Reynolds   Check out Chicken and the Nuggets podcast   Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth   Extra episodes at https://www.patreon.com/chubbybehemoth

We're recording now, but we won't use anything yet. Okay. Because you haven't been funny yet. Welcome to Chubby Behemoth. My name is Noah, and today's headlines are brought to you by the Queen's Tea. It is 8.37 mountain time, and here are the headlines from around the world. This just in Noah sucks. No way. Uh, thanks for doing the show. Welcome Noah. Welcome Jacob Becker, producer extraordinaire. Hello. This is a late episode, but you know, uh, yeah, blow your nose right after we start for sure.

So apologies. I'm so happy to be here. It is a late episode. It's a late episode, both in nighttime and I assume you mean you're getting it out late. But yeah, go ahead and introduce me well yeah you introduced yourself we're gonna use that as the intro but uh the reason that it's late um sam is in europe and he said he was able to record ready let's record tonight you know we figured out the time change and then of course uh bailed something came up He accidentally ate a shoe that he thought was a piece of lamb or something. And so, yeah, that, you know, after that happened, I was like, all right, well, fuck this. You know, I'm on vacation, too. I felt bad and I thought why not do an episode with Noah one on one ish you know Jake not supposed

to talk but sometimes he does but Noah you wanted some type of ability some type of platform and ability to defend yourself but then it was me and you and Patrick and Becker and who knows who else was in the room

just screaming at each other. And so I didn't think that it was completely fair. So now it's just me and you and I will talk over you. But that's only one person as opposed to a whole gang, whole mess of monsters screaming. So what do you want to say? Absolutely. Thank you for having me. And I really did not think you would stop talking so that's where i'll start um and then secondly um dude does everybody know that i was on your extra episode as as in a defensive kind of way do people know who i am i assume i assume i'm

in the canon um you dominate you dominated the the Chubb Reddit and the Instagram feed for what felt like weeks. And then your, your little outburst, your. Outburst. It's interesting. Well,

you would characterize it. Go ahead. High Plains, the live High Plains. I know exactly what you're trying to talk about. That was an outburst. Okay. See, outburst can be good too. Shut to talk about. That was an outburst. Okay. See, outbursts can be good too.

Shut up, Jake. It was fun. But that prolonged the conversation, I think. The Noah conversation. Well, the Noah conversation is that I am the best and I'm tall and also hilarious. So that's the conversation I'd like to begin with. As far as what your question was, which was seemed like it took forever and drawn out and dumb. What was your question?

I just wasn't sure. Without. Here we go. Without Sam here, I figured, you know, we can talk about what you want to talk about as opposed to sam making fun of you calling you you know a bunch of uh just a pile of weak chromosomes just you know an unsteady sure man the man the man pedals in inflammatory rhetoric and it's like you guys let him do it and it's what it's because he's And it's like, you guys let him do it. And it's what it's cause he's. Hilarious man.

Yeah, no, you're right. And as you should. And I'm also the man and I can also do whatever I want. So. I agree with that as well. It's my show now. Nathan, go ahead. It's great to have you so your podcast is one of like the only podcasts that I listen to and I don't know why I know there's a lot of great

podcasts and for some reason I'm drawn to your bullshit chicken and the nuggets perhaps you've been a guest twice now, so perhaps it's just because you listen to those two episodes over and over. Oh, God, no.

Are you kidding? I hate hearing my own voice. I have not listened to the first episode we did together. I did put on the episode with Sam and me from a month ago at work because i was closing and it's um you know sometimes i want music sometimes uh i like having a podcast on while i wipe down the surfaces and sweep and mop and uh so yeah no i that and that you know god i was cringing the whole time we sounded like a couple of trying to out each other for an hour and you know we shit on chicken we shit on the nuggets we shit on basketball we were bad boys where you didn't mention at no point shitting on me or jacob which was absolutely part of that

show as well but i had a great time no no no yeah you you absolutely shit on the owners of the nice Mediterranean place. That's true. Yeah, that that that was also true. I didn't love that. We had just recorded the chubby behemoth and then went right into yours. And I'll tell you, the the caution was thrown to the wind. The the the rhetoric was just flying carelessly. And hopefully people weren't turned off by me and Sam dominating the episode and refusing to read the copy correctly. Hopefully you're still getting paid 10 cents an episode by DraftKings. Yeah, I'm sure they weren't turned off we're still getting paid minimal by the powers that be the people that like you are psychopaths and perverts so i think it's all going to be fine um nathan we we talk often we text and stuff what

how is your weekend why don't we do a little bit of um catching up jake you can i guess chime in i don't know um thanks, thanks, Noah. I'm kidding, obviously. You know, look at your shirt. Look at your turquoise shirt. I've never been down to your house yet. Oh, you gotta come down. Alright. It reeks of cigarette smoke. I know

you love that. I was gonna say, yeah. It's gross. You got a window open, Becker? Yeah. And an air purifier going and that fan and that nice fan of his fans on full blast it's blowing shit off of his walls what'd you guys do this week well i just saw you on a week ago we got to go you were my plus one to the comedy works holiday party uh everybody said don't bring him he's going to embarrass you he's going to break something and i said i'm gonna break something don't bring me i'm gonna be embarrassing i'm gonna poop and pee my pants

i'm gonna be a big baby i'm gonna spill the mac and cheese if they have mac and cheese that they did i'm gonna spill it all over myself. It's going to be a total unmitigated disaster. How did I do? Was I on my best behavior, though? You were great. I was not worried about it. I told all the doubters, listen, I know Noah. He's going to dress

nicely. You did. He's going to be on time. You were. He's not going to look at his phone the whole time. He's not going to be texting or swearing uh he's not gonna look at his phone the whole time he's not gonna be texting or swearing because the nuggets lost or whatever no the nuggets won you were in a good mood you were mingling you were tingling uh you were you're on the dance floor you know that was that was probably my favorite holiday party because for the first time ever, there were no kids allowed. And so we were able to talk like grownups like to do.

We like to talk about government and make fun of the clowns in Congress. Yeah, we want to have a nice stogie. able to discuss you know buying a house or a car and not have to you know explain all of the uh words that we're using to a little nine-year-old oh my god yeah hey sorry sorry kid i didn't watch puff the magic dragon today i was too busy drinking cognac and fucking horse you know you know that's why i'm not that's why i'm not gonna be able to have a conversation with you jimmy the nine-year-old who's at this party that I was also not supposed to be at. Anyway, I agree with you. I think kids are great, and I wish they were there.

Is that what you're saying? No, no, no. Oh. No. It was nice to not have to worry about – It was boring without kids. Knocking a kid over. All the adult stuff was boring.

There were no cartoons, no coloring books. Nothing to play with. I gave you a Rubik's Cube and a He-Man action figure. I threw the Rubik's Cube down immediately. I was frustrated. You broke it. He-Man, you know i hate he-man so yeah you you were like where's robocop and i was like he-man and robocop don't play together

they're two different universes yeah and you were like i i like i like them to cross worlds and i was like that's not what's going on here no it was nice it was a good time um i hope you had a good time i'm sure you know you good time. I'm sure, you know, you got to see a bunch of comics and comedy work staff and catch up a little bit. And that was that was nice for sure. I won. I won a prize in the in the big raffle. And you tried to take something for yourself. I said, that's not what's going on here. Well, no, we won a prize. We went together to the party.

And as much as anybody deserved, one of the things that they were giving away. All right. Well, I got a night at a hotel. I think Hampton Inn and Suites in the DTC. I got gift certificates to the Melting Pot and Hapa Sushi. And so do you like sushi? Of course I do.

Yeah. You know how I spent six months in Okinawa. Oh, yeah? Mm-hmm. Study abroad or what? It doesn't matter. Just hanging out. Missionary work? No. Christian missionary. Almost the opposite. study abroad or what just hanging missionary work christian almost the opposite almost opposite of

you were there trying to get people to denounce no no no no no what i was doing on okinawa god was not present let's just say that oh damn uh so on the wild oats it sounds like just really letting loose did anybody see that japanese movie that martin scorsese made anybody did anybody see it do you know what i'm talking about no no all right moving on what's it called i don't know it's called like it's called it's about like um you know it doesn't matter because you guys haven't seen it. Are you thinking of Clint Eastwood?

Are you talking about Fries of Our Fathers? Or Letters from Emerge? No, I'm not thinking of that. I know that you often confuse Martin Scorsese and Clint Eastwood. Yeah, of course, Scorsese and Clint Eastwood, I know. Well, yeah, because most of the movies that you watch, the director is named what? Butt Skidmore? Yeah, or adam sandler

or uh directed by adam sandler huh yeah yeah one of those two basically yeah but skidmore or his sons uh what's his son named nathan what's his name oh slick slick Skidmore? There you go. And then who's the other guy? Buff. Buff and Butt. Buff, son of Butt. So, yeah, what I was trying to say is that you like to watch a lot of porno, which is directed by a lot of sleazy characters. That's right, yep.

And so I'm not sure what you're... Maybe you were scouting new locations in Okinawa for Japanese porno. God, I also totally forgot how we got there, too. Yeah, I locations in okinawa for a japanese porno god i i also totally forgot what how we got there too yeah i was doing okinawa and then what was the jeff what was the scorsese scorsese okay let's rewind um welcome to chubby behemoth no starting over okay um well thank you so much for asking about my weekend or week. Well, that was a shared experience. Me and you at the holiday party, we had a nice time. All right. Well, what happened since then? You went back to your little town. Yeah, I worked Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, made a bunch of money, served up some drinks, some libations

for the live nation known as Trinidad. And then I've had the last few days off. I have not done a lot. I've been sleeping quite a bit. And then today I woke up at two and I've just been in the bathroom for most of the last seven hours, just constantly in there. for most of the last seven hours, just constantly in there. And I didn't even eat that much yesterday.

Like typically, yeah, if I smoke a bunch of weed and I get high and I eat like all night long, then yeah, I spend a lot of the next day on the toilet. But this is like a real, this is a real medical mystery because I didn't eat a bunch yesterday. And I'm not even saying that as a defense mechanism where I actually pigged out and I know exactly what I did. This is a head-scratcher, Noah, because I have been in there a lot. I've been putting in time on the toilet.

Toilet time is through the roof. Yeah, and I would certainly say head-scratcher because the listeners of this podcast, the name of the podcast, Chubby Behemoth, Chubby being the operative word, know how healthy that you and Samuel live your lives. So I think that this particular bowel movement episode certainly surprises all of us, especially. So you're saying you're spending extra amounts of time in the bathroom this week. Whoa, that's crazy. And then it's been because you haven't been eating a lot of food. So your bowel movements have been weird and or off kilter and or abnormal. Wow, Nathan. Anyway, I wanted to talk about a little bit how funny it is to think about

sam pooping in europe what an idiot he is uh because you guys pooped in europe when you guys went there but he is um anyway i'm sorry about your i'm sorry about your thing but you know i'm not surprised we we had an airbnb for a week in paris years ago, and it was a nice-sized space, but then the bathroom was hilarious. The bathroom was as tiny as you can imagine, just a little water closet with a toilet. And then there were bathrooms. I think there were two other bathrooms, you know, attached to each bedroom. But the main bathroom was off of the kitchen,

and it was just hilarious how small it was. And Sam had a real tough time in there. I had a tough time in there. And he's, you know, three and a half times bigger than I am. Taller, wider. He weighs 1,500 pounds. He weighs more than500 pounds. He weighs more than most cars in France.

We had a lot of lift drivers pull up and then just keep driving. They would not stop. They would have a family emergency. He's the only one in France who's supposed to wear a hijab

at the beach. He's so fat and ugly and dumb. Is hijab French for hijab? Anyway, let's keep making fun of Sam. Yeah, no, Sam is currently in Barcelona trying to apologize in broken Spanish for what he did. Yeah, lo siento. They do not like that in Barcelona. Shut up. Yes, they do. They love it. It's their favorite

thing. It's their second favorite thing. Yeah, it is. We got corrected immediately as soon as we got into the cab and we're trying to speak the Queen's fucking Spanish that not to do it around there because it's like, I forget what the name of the region is, Bosque. And they did not believe it.

That's because you did it in the wrong region, you fuckhead. Bosque region is a different region. Barcelona is not the region that the Bosque region is. Oh, that's weird because I was in Barcelona when that was explained to me by the locals, you fuck. Well, I'm... I spent... Right after I went to Okinawa,

I was in Barcelona. Shut up, Jake. There's no way. What were you doing there? Doing smack and eating gummy bears? No, I was smoking like a half pound of pot and going to a seed convention. Oh, that's cool.

I think they do that in Madrid. They do the lisp. Bienvenidos a Madrid. Basque has its own dialect for sure. Jake, I'm sorry about that

stuff earlier. Apologize off pod. Let's keep the tension high for the episode. I'm just about that stuff earlier Apologize off pod Let's keep the tension high for the episode Yeah I'm just fucking with you I hope Sam eats that sandwich I told him about There's a sandwich in Barcelona That I dream about more often than I do sex

Sometimes it's the same dream And he's fucking the sandwich He's like oh my god It doesn't get better than this Where should we all travel to What's the same dream and he's fucking the sandwich he's like oh my god this is the doesn't get better than that where should where should we all travel to yeah what what's the sandwich oh it's uh it's that fucking spanish ham they make that chorizo yeah and it's it's made into fresh chorizo with like day old manchego on fresh bread and it's the best thing that's ever happened ever sounds okay they also make one with duck pate on it that's the same thing and it's the best thing that's ever happened ever sounds okay they also make one with duck pate on it that's the same thing and it also rocks but it's too rich that i want

to sit down on the walk home yeah uh yeah i'm jealous of sam for sure he's uh in barcelona with his wife uh you know people are riding their bicycles bicycles into the ocean while staring at the freak that is Sam with his lovely wife. They're trying to figure out what God would allow this. And it is actually, we should stop talking about him so much because, you know, it just makes him so he just loves it but like when you think about all of the actual um you know places to see and uh um landmarks he's not going to be able to climb you know the stairs to the art de triomphe for any sort of stairs or be able to climb any sort of stairs or be able to climb the stairs to any sort of monument you know the stairs there are all just sort of narrow and and very thick and um and um they're all very narrow do you know

what i mean and i just don't think that any of those things um are reasonable for for him to get through and it's just kind of sad he's not gonna be able to see europe i think in the way that other people can well he's got emily to like run up the stairs and grab a pamphlet or a picture yeah a postcard so it'll look like he yeah is having a good time yeah she'll go up there kiss a frenchman on the mouth real quick and then come back down and be like it was beautiful we saw the the sen did you guys know that that's the river that runs through Paris the Seine yeah we walked it many times you know

I think I've already mentioned it but all three of my best friends former current ish best friends Chris Bobby Sam all three of them at one point or another whipped it out and took a whiz while we walked like they would do the walking piss because it's

less they think that it's less uh noticeable than somebody you know darting off into the shadows to take a leak and so they're like oh yeah nobody will be able to tell that there's piss coming out of my dick uh that's uh that shit backwards were they walking backwards or were they oh yeah that one of them i think one maybe sam thought that was a uh part of the move was oh yeah if you walk backwards people won't be able to see the stream there was some definitely some uh random some type of logic employed did you guys go to any museums or galleries yeah yeah we went to we went to the louvre and they the the rest of the three guys were done in like 20 minutes they're like all right yeah boring there it was overwhelming to me i i took a bunch of pictures of the

uh names of pieces so that i could look them up later. I have not looked them up, but I do have them available to me. You know, once I'm old, I'll look at them. You went to the hackiest museum in the entire world. Yeah, there was a lot of good stuff there. Like what? What was there? Was the Mona Lisa there? The Mona Lisa was there, but there was a lot. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

That's original. There was a lot of other great stuff. You paris to go see the mona lisa where should we you guys are fucking trash where should we have gone the you should you know what i'll tell you what you should have done you should have gone to the top of the eiffel tower and thrown yourself off how How about that? That's what you should have done. We went to the Eiffel Tower. We learned about how... I'd love to travel more, Theo, you guys. I'd love to travel more, you know? Have you traveled anywhere without your parents?

Has it mostly been family trips? Oh, my God, yeah. You, Trinidad. I've gone there for the festival a few times. Yeah. I've been to... Yeah, I've gone there for the festival a few times I've been to yeah I've been places I haven't been like on cool trips though

really but yeah let's go to like Costa Rica no let's go to North Africa or yeah let's go to Tunisia or Morocco yeah Tunisia sounds dope yeah yeah nathan i want to go to algiers because i read the stranger and that's algiers is a city all right let's go there great um that sounds good uh other places i don't know yeah the fine gents talked about a second the

fine gents well we were gonna try to figure out a yearly trip or a second trip probably to spain uh which would have been great because uh the language barrier was very intimidating in france none of us were were fluent at all like we't speak it, and it sucked to have to be like, can we speak English? And then everybody hated us. So Spain would be a little less nerve-wracking for me. I know Spanish pretty well. So I would feel a lot less intimidated if we went to Spain.

But now that's where Sam is now. I don't think he'll be allowed back because he probably just broke some type of like ancient, you know, church relic, some type of Holy Grail thing. You know, he's like, oh, did I do that? May I say? I'm Sam. Songre, poor Songre. You know, he does some sort of, read my book.

I could do it. It's in Spanish, and it's not in Spanish, right? Yeah. He's like, oh, just translate it. Just type it in sentence by sentence to Google. Yeah. Well, that's cool. What's your guys'

like dreams I would love for this to be a good episode but you no no no don't be shitty you have a stupid hat on you came in with your I'm gonna wear I have a beanie on it's chilly

is it cold down there yeah yeah dude didn't it didn't it drop in denver the temp yeah our cold here we have similar a similar climate i was told by somebody that we have we're in like a weird banana he said it was like a banana shaped uh climate vortex where we're like missing a lot of the storms. Who told you that? Just some guy at the bar. Hey, I'm not saying it's wrong. It's wrong. I'm telling you it's wrong.

No, we're in a storm shadow. Jake's going to tell you it's right. Something about a storm shadow and banana-shaped, it's wrong. It's because we're kind of between three mountains. But it's not because of that though um jake yeah what did you do this weekend uh and i worked okay and i fucked with my car i've been reading like a textbook sized service manual on my oh my my God. All right. All right. This is going to be, this is going to be boring.

Where are you guys going to ask for Santa for Christmas? Do you celebrate Christmas and Hanukkah? No. Just Christmas? Yeah. Just Hanukkah? Just Christmas. But you're Jewish?

No, I never, we never do religion. My parents are people of science and art. And they decided the more fun one to celebrate would be the Christian one. They decided if we're going to roll the dice, the Christians are the ones that are right. So we're going to do Christmas.

And I know that December is a weird time for you. It's also my birthday. Yeah, it's my birthday month. So it's sort of like a nice little happy birthday. What were you going to say, please? I was going to say, wasn't it middle of December when your former twin brother shot up that school

and then killed himself? Is that not? Does that make December tough for you? When's your birthday? Wait, hold on a second second i say all of that i just wanted to cut him off as soon as he started talking to be honest yeah i didn't i wasn't quite sure i'm not quite sure the nate what nathan's bit is but yeah to answer his question yeah i had a twin brother are you referring to the sandy oak massacre which happened

after my birthday oh damn i hope it i hope it didn't cast a paul on your special day no i had to take a i had to take a math final on my birthday and that was way worse i'm pretty sure high school sucked all the way through though yeah i remember anyway um that was weird of you to bring up well i was trying to i was trying to spice up the episode yeah this is um instead of all the weekend talk i figured i would try to you know do you guys uh do you want me to do a character do you want to do a character okay no just be yourself stop fidgeting with whatever you're... Are you making some type of toy car? Do you have a model car?

Do you hear that knock on the door, though? Oh, is your mom going to tell you to keep it down? I don't know, but there seems to be some sort of guy here. Hey, man, just keep it down, okay? Are you at the library? Is that guy cutting into your private booth time at the library?

Hey, man, what you doing? Are you FaceTiming some dudes? Hey, dude, I am. I'm just doing a podcast. This is the free episode. You want me to bleep that or? Bleep what? Whatever ethnicity that was?

Yeah, we'll leave it in leave it in uh it'll it'll get people talking about how noah needs to be canceled and uh he'll defend himself he'll make a video apology um i guess i don't know what you guys are talking about there's a guy who was barged into your house here real quick. I didn't catch his name. And you aren't that worried that this guy you haven't met before just knocked on your bedroom door. I didn't say I wasn't worried, but I am a professional.

So I'm going to try to continue on with the podcast. You promised. Yes. You promised an hour and you're going to deliver on that hour of time. I appreciate it. Yeah. Thank you so much. It seems like you as the host should be taking a little more control and

Jacob, stop laughing. I can't control. I can't control who goes into your room. I feel like that is on your parents and the guy. I think I did a pretty good job getting him out of here i meant more like you know are you gonna that was crazy that that happened are you gonna that was probably the dad of one of your your brother's victims uh so what is it weird that

your twin brother is it weird that your twin brother create you know created such a an atrocity and now you're left behind you know looking exactly like him yeah uh do you ever have victims family members kind of take out their anger and and their grief on you all right let me answer once again your long-winded question one by one um it is not weird i love it i like looking exactly like the murderer twin brother that i had i was identical twins with the one murderer my other twin brother is fraternal doesn't look like me um the next question was do i run into family members of the victims constantly all the time what kind of conversations do i have with them wouldn't know don't talk to them okay um okay yeah did was that helpful this is stupid

what i'm i'm just curious i mean it's a fascinating i'm sure you're sick of it because you already went on local news you were on phil donahue that one time and i was don i was also on don philahue that's the name of the guy that just came into your bedroom and i like that he i like that he's just uh you know terrorizing the rest of your family and you're like get out of here i'm recording a podcast keep it moving senor he might be coming back but he looked at me i would hope not he saw that there was nothing of value in your bedroom and he was like okay i gotta focus on the rest of the house um not because all latinos are criminals of course but because he's an intruder it's actually

interesting that you would suggest that that's what he was because i did not catch that from what he looked like oh yeah i was just going to be oh he was a white guy i couldn't see him i could only hear him he was a white lad oh there's another fella coming in isn't that who's this guy now nathan do you see him he's right behind me yeah he looks like you my name is nigel murderer that's right my name's nigel and i'm coming in for a little bit of partying. A bit of what? I don't know, man. I don't know what he's saying. That was not the Queen's English for sure.

All right, man. Can you get out of here? What else? Very good question. What else is there? What's concerning you more, the Omicron variant or one of your brother's victims, like dad or mom's, like taking you out at the grocery store? Do you think that there's a chance that there will be some kind of weird vengeance exacted upon your head? I am worried about the Omicron variant. Yeah. Yeah. How about the fact that Sam is currently traipsing around Europe, just jet setting around the UK and Spain and France,

where this variant almost certainly originated before wreaking havoc on Southern Africa. You are so obsessed with Sam. It's crazy. You know, let us have a fucking conversation the man may get sick he can't fit in anything yeah lock your lock your door so that we don't keep getting interrupted by this wacky cast of characters you mean nigel the other guy okay well at least it isn't another stranger that is potentially ransacking your house

and ramming it into your parents. There could be a sexual element to this breaking and entering, and you're about to have to pick up the pieces, just like, what was it, four Decembers ago was when your brother decided to fight back or whatever, make a statement? I don't get it. Yeah, yes. December's ago was when your brother decided to fight back or whatever, make a statement. I don't get it.

Yeah. Yes. That's right. Now, wait. Is your twin – I slept in one of your brother's rooms. Is your twin the swimmer? He swims. That's right.

Both of your bedrooms are hilarious. They look like they were decorated straight out of a catalog of, like, Happy magazine yeah they both just look and i told you when i when i stayed in your brother's room there's all these medals and like swimming stuff or whatever his speedo that's right he has a lot of medals and accolades and a giant, you could call it a giant banner of him swimming. Yeah. And it just made me think it looked like he for sure was like the one, you know, the one that would have died like right after high school with his whole world ahead of him. What are you doing? I don't know. I'm trying to poke a hole in your perfect world.

I don't know. I'm trying to poke a hole in your perfect room. What was your family bedroom that you grew up in like and your parents and that kind of thing? You know, it was good enough. You know, there were holes for sure. My parents were very hands off. They did not have the tools to address a lot of my brother and sisters and my concerns about brother yeah i have a brother i don't really talk to he's kind of a douche um my sister let's go into that very close let's talk about that more no my i mean my brother and my brother and my parents are all i mean my dad's dead thank god but my mom and my parents are all, I mean, my dad's dead, thank God.

But my mom and my brother and my dad are all very different from Kim and I. Kim and I kind of left the bubble of being in, you know, like kind of an insular echo chamber of like work and TV, you know, and like not really meeting a lot of different people. We have lived a bunch of different places and traveled. And so we both have, I think, a little bit more of an informed worldview. And then my mom and dad, you know, mostly stay home. My brother goes to work and goes home and kind of watches the news and just kind of parrots what is said on on the news which is just so much and very you know very much uh manufactured consent and all of that so it's i don't talk

to them really at all because it just got too difficult too annoying my brother once said you know poland is the only country in europe that like refused to take muslim refugees and like they're like doing better than any other country and i was like what the fuck are you talking about it's not that's not true poland isn't like thriving in the face of racism and just you know not getting uh brought down you know and then we when we went to france you know it was wonderful people that have never been there think that it's some hellhole because there's you know different types of people diversity living together yes paris is huge there's a ton of people there some of them are muslim and not everything is on fire we're not you know we weren't constantly like having to say no to free korans or whatever

yeah there is not like but you know that, the, the image that is portrayed, I think on a lot of conservative news media here. And so there, yeah. So, yeah, you know, well,

my brother is alive. Unlike yours, yours blew his own head off after killing 15 kids and 12 teachers, a bunch of kids, teachers, but my, but I do love my parents and they love me back which is something i have on you which is cool and i do have a cool i do have a really cool childhood

bedroom point for noah which is even more lit i'll call that two and oh um you just did the shot was it the shocker no no i just i forgot i put that up by yeah you did this too no it's by accident um so anyway between between my loving parents and my cool room that I had growing up, I'd say Noah came out on top. But yeah, that sucks about your racist blah, blah, blah, blah. Jake, your truck's doing well, I imagine. Yeah. God, what are you doing?

You have a little list of conversation starters, and you're crossing them off as you ask jake about his truck no man he's got the buick now the buick is i know i saw vroom vroom dude oh yeah he pulled up outside of your house when we recorded the pod yeah yeah i do i remember i remember um that's a beauty he and and Brent wouldn't shut up about their freaking cars. So don't get them started on his automobile. It goes, but you guys talking about that though. I have all of my childhood furniture in my house.

Oh yeah. I can't let go. Well, no, I'm just not going to buy more fucking furniture. Did you buy what you have or did your parents buy it and you kept it? No. Yeah.

It's all inherited shit like that's my great grandpa's bookcase but it was in my bedroom growing up and then what was his name your great grandfather francis credick francis oh frankie k girl's name yeah i'm sure he got bullied uh you're you know he was also a twin noah oh shit well his brother also shot up a school and then shot his fucking head off whoa that's crazy that's crazy either reincarnation of my pops that's a random connection oh yeah that is crazy what it seemed almost like you were gonna ask me a question nathan oh no i was just gonna say it's it's been funny to hang out at your house

oh yeah that's us it has been funny no let me say why let me explain why oh yeah yeah yeah because i thought that your mom and your dad would be like very against like me and Sam Patrick Richardson coming in and like eating all of the food and making them you know stinking up the bathrooms but your mom didn't see you do those things yeah but you know likes those things you know

your mom loves it because she has these three kids and your mom fucking loves it you're the only one that uh lives there so she she told me that she likes having people in the house even if they're comedians so uh i'm glad that we can kind of you know fill the house up with warmth and love and laughter uh you know and fill that void that your brother left after he did that crazy violent thing well between between my brother taking all those children's lives who by the way were criminals you remember and your

brother who is some sort of neo-nazi white supremacist i don't know man i'd say uh you know it's kind of chalking it up to catch 22 maybe Maybe we just call it a draw. Maybe we just don't have, um, and by the way, my brother's dead. So the one that you're made that you're talking about, thank God he can't, uh, he can't terrorize anybody else. My brother I think is more of an armchair, you know, he, I don't think he's going to actually do anything. I think he's just going to kind of bitch to his construction worker friends and to, you know, my racist mom.

But your brother actually, you know, kind of had the balls, kind of had the guts to do something. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, sorry he had morality and actually stood by some, not morality isn't the word I meant, but like convictions. Convictions, yeah. Very good, yeah. No, but this is a weird bit, and I am kind of confused by it,

but I do think it's, I do think. I think, I thought it was funny because your family is pretty picturesque and so i just threw a little curveball in there that's yeah that's funny no i mean i am picturesque look at look at noah right now i know your hair is insane do you have a ring light but in general but in general do you think i've been getting more handsome like my face and eyes and pretty handsome i mean you look pretty handsome right there that whatever is whatever combination of lights and cameras you got well no don't do that back it up back it up i'm still into it you're a monet you gotta you gotta be seen from a yeah now what is the uh what is the the the trinidad state kids do in trinidad uh they fucking me and they drink uh i do think they party though i think

there's a nice i think the gunsmiths like themselves some whiskey the they're called the gunsmiths no there's a big gunsmith school that's uh oh very like word revered here i think it's like the best one in the country or whatever the hell it is i mean it's like a top top program is there um is there like a barstool trinidad state with like some hotties or some like cheerleaders or sororities you ever somebody asked me that somebody asked me to ask you that okay yeah there are well we don't we don't get any of them coming into trinidad lounge i think they all go to geno's because geno's is like the place that plays well no it's just like the bar that i think a lot of underage or young people go to and then so a lot i think

i was not talking under age by the way no no but like 19 and 20 year old college kids are under age year old kids yeah they're going to geno's so they don't come into the trinidad lounge and have a couple beers and listen to hank the third listen to my podcast blaring on the loudspeaker as you're sweeping up oh yeah i have it on when uh when we're open geno's is the farthest bar from the college too which seems like a scam yeah but yeah i feel like that's where they that's where the the college kids go uh because there's like dance music or hip-hop music or whatever and then they make all of the dumbass liquid marijuana drinks like all the I mean we do we can do

liquid marijuana but also yeah there's fucking step it up get some hot young ass in there dude we got Warren on plan yeah it's not the vibe they're looking for I don't think so there were a couple gunsmith kids that came in once but they they were just change it

change the name to the daddy lounge and then you'll get some fucking you know what I mean and I'm being gross for no reason of course I'm trying to pick up the slack from that other gross guy that you usually have on here the girls basketball team came into the mutiny the other night and I thought

they were going to beat me up why because you were taking too long with their freaking... Because he was yelling at them. No, because I was talking to another customer and the one chick came in and aggressively like, yo, man, where's DP at? Okay. And it was a big white girl and that was the voice.

She was doing the voice. I think it's her voice. And then I was like, what? Like confused and also like, why'd you just charge the counter. And then I was like, what? Like, confused and also like, why'd you just charge the counter like that? She's like, where's my man DP? And I was like, okay, this is a better attitude now. I feel less like I'm about to get the shit.

Because, I mean, they were all six foot five or taller. There were 15 of them. And all looked like they'd beat my, it was like six of them, but they looked like they'd fucked me up. And then one of them had their very cute little girlfriend with them. And I believe they were going to Geno's. Yeah, I bet they were.

Liquid marijuana shots all around. And that's fine, you know. I'm glad I don't have to deal with... God, I'm glad I don't have to see a bunch of college kids getting wasted constantly. No thanks. They don't know how to throw up in a toilet they always like a fun like the one of the side pockets on the pool table or oof behind the ms pac-man machine yeah so we don't have as many surprises for the most part with our adult drinking establishment i was um on the bus the other day, which is how I buckle up y'all get around.

And shut up, Jake. There was this vagabond mentally ill individual who was talking about how much he was frustrated with the young people in denver and he was screaming on the bus rather or yelling and how much he hated all the new things and new breweries and everything that was going up and all the new things and it just i realized that i had the exact same opinions as this man right and it felt really good and it felt really good and neither of you had a shirt on and neither of you had an actual bus pass.

We both smelled like poopy. Yeah, exactly. We screamed about not wearing our masks and saying how it's all right. And yeah, smelled like poop and whiskey. It was cool. But it was funny. The guy was like, I've been here. He didn't really have a voice.

I don't know what it was funny. The guy was like, I've been here. He didn't really have a voice. I don't know what it sounded like. He's like, I've been here for 60 years, and I've seen the city change overnight. But it's like, it was funny just to see a guy who was clearly out of his goddamn mind hold a lot of similar opinions that I hold. Right, that's when you know you're getting older how old are you 24 i'll be 25 this month that's a half uh that's half of my life you're coming up on 25

and you're you're gonna kill yourself you're gonna end it at 50 for sure that's your plan it's It's all mapped out. I'm thinking the life expectancy of the country is going to go precipitously down by the time I'm 50. I don't know if you're going to get to 50. You might see 40. Yeah, which would be sweet,

but I have a lot to do. No, no. People will be taking the bus as society crumbles you know yeah if anything you'll be more to avoid them no shut up i need a boat you're gonna want to know the bus drivers you're gonna so that they stop for you so that they another funny story this is a long time ago though but i uh i've written you know what i feel like it's actually not that funny of a story. But then again- I'll punch it up. Yeah.

Then again, does that matter? Do I care? It was this, you know, I ride the bus a while ago and you take the same bus every day and there's a bus driver who's in theory the same bus driver that you take at the same time every day. And I yelled at him for driving too slow.

I was like, you got to drive faster. And then I realized that he kept picking me up every day for the same. But once again, yeah, once you're on the story up for me, though, once you're on the bus, you're like, hey, yeah, why do you keep stopping for these other people? I'm already on the bus, you're like, hey, yeah, why do you keep stopping for these other people? I'm already on the bus. Right. And unless you can go back in time to 855, I'm going to get fired from Jimmy John's.

Is this what you're saying? You're like, this is, I'm on strike seven. And it was supposed to be three strikes, you're out. But they're short-staffed because not everybody that applies at the west colfax jimmy johns is uh you know hireable i think what i'm saying is i'm kind of pissed that i even brought any other additional bus story up because that was stupid shut up are you talking about the 15 have you had to take the 15 i do a lot of them i do 15 i do zero the crazy man was on the 12 which was crazy usually there aren't a lot of them like that. The six there were, Oh, I,

and this is not funny, but there were three extremely disabled people in wheelchairs on the bus. Oh yeah. The other day quite disabled. And they all had to, you know, have the ramp. quite disabled um and they all had to you know have the ramp um so my best friend god it's like why don't you just go all the way disabled and kill yourself because kill yourself and it's like i'm gonna get fired from this i have a place i have a place to be and a thing to do you're like i'm hungry i need chipotle now. And I don't need an extra 40 seconds. Yeah. So that, but it was crazy to be fair. It was crazy. And it is sad that the most immobile

people in our nation are the ones that rely on public transportation. Nathan, that's indicative of the system, which is sad, but it's fucking nuts that there were three people that don't have legs that work that were on this bus it took me no exaggeration an hour and a half to get from my home in capitol hill to rhino for a show um and um you could have walked it i could have and i i i could have, and I could have, Jake. Thank you. I almost always walk to shows because the bus in Denver, RTD, was very unreliable as far as being prompt, and I hated when it was very full because there was almost always, like you're saying, a lot of people who are very much in need of help. Mental health is on the skids and directed by Butt Skidmore.

If RTD was made into a movie, it would be directed by Butt Skidmore. Because a bunch of people that got fucked and left behind, just like forgotten. And then they're screaming at you and it's like man i don't want to have like a black fresh black eye when i go do my show at ratio uh fun story but not not if i don't make it to the show because i'm at use denver health because i got stabbed in the chest that's right And I've been taking the bus for my entire life and never had any issues. And I know that, Nathan,

we've had a long conversation about it. You stopped taking the bus, I think, in the 60s, right? There was some sort of event or events that took place in that era that made you want to stop taking the bus. No. And I don't remember what that was. No, your timeline's off.

I stopped in the 80s because i was i started working on wall street and they were like uh buses are not for closers uh coffee and a car are for closers and i was like all right if i'm gonna if i'm gonna survive and if i'm gonna make a bunch of money and fucking get some power and status, it's not going to be holding a greasy cum stained handrail on the bus. So I had to start, you know, dressing up and like I rented a car for a long time and I was like, oh, yeah, it's a lease. And I just rented the same car every day. And it was expensive, but it was worth it because I got a promotion. I was made partner at, you know, Lehman and

Lewandowski and Cecil Witts Incorporated. And I was able to start, you know, cracking skulls and making like, you know, the big bucks and making fun of people on the bus, people like you. I would be in my rented car just being like, smell you later. And then I saw one time I yelled that at the bus and you uh smelled your armpit because you thought maybe you smelled like shit so i burned your ass and uh yeah look i saw you in my rear view you know while i was on my way to the top and then we met in the middle because unfortunately you know the gravy train stopped we went out of business and so i had to start doing stand-up as like an artistic outlet after my you know emerge the end of the ride you know uh in la la land in the the land of giants i had to come back down to earth so you know here i am this is me

scratching my own ass but i got a full heart it's nice to be amongst regular people you know instead of just uh titans of industry uh mean meanwhile your dad is a titan of industry i believe that he is a lawyer is he a doctor or a lawyer i can't remember he's some type of powerful go-getter. Is he not? He's a lawyer who only works for doctors? I think he's a doctor who sues, or he only operates on lawyers. What's the deal? Come on, Noah, fork it over. You guys live on 7th and Lafayette?

Yeah, you dick. Sorry, I was just. Yeah. Yeah. You dig. Sorry. I was just trying to, that was, uh, yes. My, my father is a lawyer for the international criminal court for the criminal part of it.

He defends, you know, guys who make whatever human rights type crimes. Um, yeah. guys who make whatever human rights type crimes. Oh yeah. Why is Steven Donziger in jail when all he did was try to fight for great question, indigenous people who were being killed by a Chevron. Great question.

Great question. It's because he doesn't know what's good for him. Oh, God. Er. Fuck you. Yeah, it's because your dad is a good lawyer and represents Chevron. The best things that he doesn't know what's really going on. Er.

Oil makes the world go round it lubes it lubes up the world's axis enabling it to spin without any kind of creaky you know noises without anything not only does it lube up the world's access without any creaky noises or anything like that. Just like you said, it's also a big employer. Right. Yeah. And, you know, I was thinking about this the other day. I wish I had kids. Oh, here we go. I wish I had kids.

Here is something they were thinking about. Yeah. It's time for what's old Sid got on his melon. Something they were thinking about. Apple Sid got on his melon. I wish I had kids so that I could just justify being a total piece of shit. Like there's so many people who are like, hey, you know, what are you going to do? I got kids to feed. And it's like, I don't know, get a different job. Like you don't, your kids don't specifically rely on you being a lawyer for Exxon in order for them to go to school like you could

do something else that isn't complete evil you know you just get out you like it and i think that's like your dad too your dad is addicted to the power and the prestige the status that comes with being a big corporate oil and gas lawyer you know like and then our power comes to those who uh i don't know but your thing was stupid your thing was dumb too yeah but at least i finished my sentence no no no one of the things i didn't like about your dad was your dad kept saying my least favorite quote from game of thrones which is your dad kept saying uh lions don't concern themselves with the thoughts of sheep his favorite quote he said that to you like four times when he was telling you to like get fired up and make a mark he's trying to like turn you and i was like that's

not even that's such a weird, empty quote. Like, first of all. It's not, though. It's not. Are sheep supposed to be people? Are they supposed to be, like, the environment? Because lion, if you're supposed to be a lion, then all humans would be lions. And then sheep would not be people, right?

They would be something else. And so it's a false equivalency. And I tried to poke holes in it. And your dad, you know, threatened to sue me. He threatened to sue you. He served me with papers and the papers said, shut the fuck up on him. And I was like, whoa.

He said he was going to charge you with a humanitarian crisis, which you did in that toilet downstairs. Yeah, he said he was going charge you with a humanitarian crisis what you did in that toilet downstairs yeah he said he was gonna bring up on par with what's going on in the tigre region in ethiopia which is to say a lot of rapes and murders yeah that's what you did in the toilet and he said he was gonna he was gonna make me pay for what i did. And I was like, listen, buddy, it's natural. And maybe, you know, your mom shouldn't or not. It's not his mom. But maybe your wife shouldn't have given me such delicious snacks that made me have to go to the bathroom. I think the quote you said was one toilet is a tragedy. A million toilets is a statistic. I said a million toilets is a statistic i said a million toilets is a hell of a story to tell in color you know uh the colorized no no no you were putting stall into

black and white no no no i tried to tell your dad listen no court will convict me they're gonna see pictures of the snacks i was given they're gonna see pictures of all of the coffee that was made for me and they're gonna say hey that's what do you expect i mean he said and then he was like a food court's gonna convict you because you're won't stop eating big old food court where's your first stop where's your first stop at the food court are you going uh stop at the food court are you going uh probably panda express that's the move yeah because like sabaro sam tries to say sabaro's good it wasn't it's not never been good and wasn't good we had a pretty good uh what was it bourbon street there was bourbon market what was the food court with like they had like a couple good chicken options i don't know anyway uh yeah there are all these new fucking millennial ones with the hot you know they have like sushi

and like you know 15 goddamn sandwiches and they're not like food courts they're supposed to be like you know cool hip like uh you know what i'm talking about they're like vr you have to put on a headset no shut up you know what i'm talking about they're like vr you have to put on a headset no shut up you know what i'm talking about online it's like um it's like they have like a bunch of different businesses in like one place it's like a big like they call it the station or the the place or the venue or whatever and it's like all these stupid things denver loves those and it's like oh do you want to spend 50 at one place and then have to go eat something on the way home you're just at a mall guys guess what you're at the mall um and next on

next on noah's andy rooney's chris's steakhouse chris ruth's steakhouse what are you doing i just have a bunch of stuff to complain about It looked like you opened the laptop like it was a file folder with documents in it. You looked like you were going to try to read it sideways. You opened it like a big book, but it was a laptop. That was a weird move. Wow, yeah. I don't know. Defend yourself.

Ah! Ah! You got me. Ah! I just don't understand why. No, you're right. It totally looks like a big book, and I opened it up,

and all the other bullshit you were talking about. Is that how people... I'm Nathan people i'm nathan and i'm both afforded and i'm wearing a beanie today i am wearing a beanie uh i sent sam a picture i said this character's named biff uh he's kind of a loose cannon um but you know he does what he has to do to get by and uh you know really can you blame him uh so what do you got coming up noah you got any big shows got any fun stuff you got any big well you know me you know me i'm a fucking bitch for the holidays so i'm excited for christmas love new year's did you ask for a ps5 did you ask for a dikembe matumbo jersey what do you ask for a ton of stuff i've been really good this year um i also have a birthday so if you guys people want to wish me a happy birthday

it's also my brother's birthday um wish him a happy birthday no we there were three of us we don't condone what he did but what is your what's your brother's name we do acknowledge his memory as a soul a troubled soul because i know i know trying his best what's your brother's name jason what's your what's your brother's names gus and gus and nathan actually yes but nathan's not the not nathan's not the twin right is he gus is the twin correct you got it you nailed it gus and noah gus noah and nathan and we you and i did that 48 hour film festival video called nathan and noah and you didn't show it to your mom, even though it featured you, her favorite person. It featured her house, which I'm sure she's very proud of.

Well, she made a beautiful home. And it's called Nathan and Noah. So it's fun that that's your brother's name. And then you just didn't show it to her ever. That was like four years. Or no, that was two years ago. Sorry. Do you want to show it to her ever it was that was like four years or no that was two years ago um sorry show it to her do you want to show it to her here's something else that's funny my brother's roommate who he lives with his name is noah so he he's gus and noah and then this is noah now

so now nate my brother nathan just needs to find a Gus or a Noah. And that's just fun. And that's just fun. But I will be at the Comby Fort this Thursday, December 9th. If I can get up there. It turns out there are no buses late back from Fort Collins. Are there Denver comics that you could hit up? I'm in the process of finding that out. I don't want to be... What, you got booked everything you got booked on your own as opposed to no i asked i

asked to be on the show so that's the other thing who's the headliner dr kev you go up with dr kev he lives he actually uh lives uh off a university so probably not really far from you yeah i can't remember i guess he i think he's kind of by du but he could yeah he could pick you up i can get myself i don't want to impose on the headliner also this is an off my conversation i'm also going to be at luce libre what is it lugay libre and legs on january hold on let me call dr kevin i'll see if i'll see if he'll give you a ride oh yeah he might be here right hold on hello hey dr kev yeah hey what's up young blood can i talk to him are you talking to him right now this is uh nathan lon you're on the podcast you're on chubby behemoth uh oh thanks for having me that's great uh what's going on can i talk to him so uh hold on noah so

dr kev uh just say it's Noah. You're going to be headlining the comedy for it at Fort Collins. Oh, yeah. I'm excited. It's going to be a good time. We're going to have a lot of fun up there. I just need a ride back because I have a ride. I can take the bus.

Noah. Noah Reynolds is on the show. Oh, great. That's a real curtain jerker. Hopefully he doesn't get a bunch of cum in the green room. Nathan, is he talking about me? Can you just ask if he's god it's available to drive me back i can give him gas money or whatever he is wondering if uh he can get a ride i understand that it's imposing or whatever the heck uh you know i don't know if i want to have a maniac like noah

in the car can you hear me i like to be in a good mindset. Anyway, can you just tell him that whatever kind of convenient thing, I don't want to know about his twin brothers, dark thoughts that are now in his mind. I will even, he's the only one left on this planet. Or more time. Yeah,

I get it. You know, like you want to take less money. I'll do, I'll take more money on the show. Get in that. Whatever's more convenient. Mindset kind of a thing,

but tell him I read his... Every December, he gets in a real dark place because of what his brother did. Either way, though, I would hope that I find a way to get back. I think... Are you still talking to him?

Can you just put me on the line with him? Because I think that maybe if I talked to him, it would be a lot easier Noah can't talk about it without getting drunk. And then he's just like all over the place. Nathan, put me on the phone. Yeah, put him on. I don't give

a shit. I'll talk to him. Hey, what's up, little Noah? Kevin, Dr. Kevin. I'm so sorry. Dr. Fitzgerald. God, I'm fucking this up. Could I get a ride back from Fort Collins on Thursday? Nathan said that you needed a ride up there. Nope. Did he really say that?

A ride back. Let's see what happens. Because if you have a good set. That's fine. I want to reward that with a ride home. No, I don't really get it. But if you eat shit like you do. No, no, no.

I'll just stay. I'll stick up there. I'll find a place to stay. Then you'll probably. Yeah, I don't really want to have the stink of my car because the animals can smell, you know, the animals can smell a million times better than people. And so if you eat shit and then sulk in the car, then it's going to just be like woven into the fabric of the seat, you know, and it's going to freak out a lot of a lot of the dogs that i end up transporting well it's really nice to talk to you so much miss uh the good doctor and um i appreciate um oh yeah right back or just tell tell the good jokes and i gotta say the autopsy came back on your dog and uh he got to death he got some type of uh sexually transmitted

disease but like one that humans can transfer to animals so i would maybe uh be careful who you let in your home and be sure to you know not your dog if you end up getting another dog uh don't have sex with it don't let your friends have sex with it it doesn't make you cool it doesn't mean that you know you're able to uh get in with the with the cool crowd uh by fucking your dog because you know this is the kind of tragedy that uh can result from such uh evil kind of nature of man okay all right i didn't hear that last no i thank you dr kev i appreciate it hopefully that hopefully that uh got worked out no um no it didn't. Okay. But thank you.

You don't have a ride. Okay. Well, I tried. I mean, I thought maybe he would give you a ride, but it was less helpful. And he said some other stuff at the end that was, I don't really get. I didn't get. Oh, yeah. I think I told him to say that your dog got fucked to death as a joke, you know,

but I don't know. Maybe that was misguided. Sorry. I was just trying to have fun with my friends. And I think that there's not a court. Any shows coming up, Nathan. I know you're booking Trinidad from now until the summer.

No shows in Trinidad until like next year. I didn't want to worry about the holidays but and i was worried about like uh trying to book a show and then night before and all all that day it snows so then either the comic has to cancel you know they can't make it down from denver or they do make it down from denver they almost die and then nobody shows up everybody stays home where it's nice and toasty with their beanies on. They wear their little house beanies like me.

So, not going to worry about shows down here until next year. Once again, a long-winded answer to something It wasn't that long-winded and punchy. I speak in an interesting tone. A slow sort of.

No. On Friday, I am doing the first, a new show at the Gold Room. I have been there before, but it was Mel Clema was doing a show there. And now it is Russell Keller, I believe. Russ is running a show there. In the Springs, yeah. And the Gold Room apparently has a new upstairs area, so there's

going to be a show up there. I haven't been up there. They pee on you there, right? It'll be the Gold Showers room. Of course, that's where your mind goes because you're immature. Because I'm gross. I'm just a gross, immature dude. I'm a little boy who likes poo-poo and pee-pee, dude.

24 going on 14. Going on 14. Can't grow up just because your brother did something bad when you guys were younger. You can't get past it. And just because you don't have a loving family. I get it. We both have our foibles and our flaws.

My sister is my rock. We make one full good dude. And then Jake is less than one, I guess still, right? No, Jake's the man. Jake's the man. He has two cool cars. And don't tell him I said that. Yeah, he's not listening. He tuned out.

But yeah, that show at the Gold Room is Friday, December 10th. It's me and Joseose mccall and john bueno and those guys are both funny and uh yeah i think uh russell is hosting and he's cool he listens to the show so thank you i think he started he started the subreddit uh for chevy behemoth so thank you also before i forget uh we got a bunch of great episodes on patreon so if you want to check those out it's only five dollars a month you get access to all

the old back catalog of episodes uh that sam and i have done on patreon it's patreon.com slash chubby behemoth and uh yeah there's probably 65 or 70 episodes uh so yeah it's 60 to 68 yeah so uh a bunch of great content on there noah if you need even more chubby behemoth in your life uh get on the patreon you got a bunch of uh bunch of episodes waiting for you. Also, if you haven't already, I know a few people are excited for Chubby Behemoth shirts as Christmas gifts. We're on the wish lists of many a young boy and or girl or anybody off the gender spectrum. Hit up our friend Nicole. She's on Instagram at thread deli 303 and put in an order for a Chubby Behemoth shirt

they are $20 plus shipping I think five for shipping and yeah you'll get to look nice and cool and educated and informed this Christmas and holiday season thanks to Nicole Nicole with an H it's and informed this Christmas and holiday season.

Thanks to Nicole. Nicole with an H. It's N-H-I-H-C-H-O-L-E. There's a lot of H's in Nicole. So be sure to hit her up and get your stocking stuffed. Too many H's, Nicole? Take one of those out. Take one or two of those out for sure. No, it's a cultural thing.

You know, she's... What culture? One of the ones that you did an impression of earlier. N-H? That's fucking dumb.