Chubby Behemoth - Cure All For Everything

Episode Date: July 7, 2024

SPONSORS: Helix: Support the show and get 30% off your Helix mattress order, plus 2 free pillows. Head to https://www.helixsleep.com/CHUBBY   BONUS EPISODES: https://www.Patreon.com/chubbybehemoth   This week Sam is having an oil pressure issue, is learning Italian, and learned about a ripped tilapia farmer. Nathan tried to clean some carpet, saw a Gacy doc, and had fish to fry. Sam also tells us the story of his Bart tattoo, food traditions with his parents, and thought Machine Gun Kelly could act.   Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth   Mutiny Coffee: [e-mail]

And we're playing mouth guitar to start the episode. Gotta push it real far. Had an issue with my car. Becker didn't fix it and it left a scar emotionally. Becker, I wanted you to help me out there. You didn't, but it's okay. Your car wouldn't fuck up while we drove it all around Trinidad. Which means the car is fine.

It probably is fine. So I can just drive it to Detroit in two days and everything's gonna be okay? Oh, fuck. Oil pressure's not important to long distance travel at 80 miles per hour? I would want, if I were you, I would go to a dealership that could run the code

and make sure that it's not an actual problem Why don't you get underneath the hood? We'll have one get out there. You need a computer car up off the ground It's a computer thing. There's a dude here that might be able to help us Oh Matt Durant listens to the pot man. I'm listening to this right now, even though it's not out yet Well Matt, I've been dead for 24 hours because you didn't help me You know, what's? Our car guys from our car guys from NPR. Yeah. They were like, Hey, you know how we're going to get some of these like gear headed, you know, moderates and or center left leaning

conservatives to listen to NPR. We're going to have the two Jewish men get on there and condescend to them about their cars. Yeah, they were always nasty. Yeah Hey, it's clicking back that effort brothers. Hey, so you need to get another motor nozzle on there I can tell by the sound in your voice not even the sound of the car I can tell by the intonation in your voice that you need to get another motor nozzle on there. I Wasn't a car guy guy Yeah, I get it. I never listened to them. So I don't know still a fiscal. I'm like, I'm like a, I'm like a child wandering into a room. I'm

little Donnie. I got to turn you on. I got to turn you on to car guys. What's going on with your car? Uh, it says oil pressure low turn off engine as I'm driving 80 miles an hour. Just that's new new like on the way down here or what you know it's been happening but uh Yeah, and it does it beeps really loud too, and it sucks But it'll be on for like two minutes, and then just turns off, and I'm like I'm fine. You know the heat needle doesn't move Yeah, so Becker says I'm fine, and it's not rolling death trap. Well, I do think your car is having electrical issues It's gonna get a baseball card up there in that fan

Yeah, you had a bicycle on your ceiling you're trying to attract boon tang at the community pool in 1953 Pool tang we start over. No, this is our big this is our big, you know picking up ever It's just well that means it's going to be picked up for sure people who are new to this pod we got picked up by National Geographic yeah because they saw our breasts and they said you'd be great in the man saw Tokyo and Paris and they were like come on out to the Serengeti which people are trying to zero scape is that right yeah they're trying to dig like a big trench into the Serengeti to like bring water so they can grow stuff there. You're thinking of that. Mr. Beast video. He brought water all over africa No, he brought spaghetti

To napoli They were like get out of here. He was like io sono mr beast I'm learning italian Good what from duolingo? Yeah. Oh? Yeah, you'll be fluent in a decade. I can't wait to see the lessons that duo the owl has for you. The lessons of duo. Every day. Good morning. Yeah. Hello. I have a flower. I like to study. My favorite ones are like, it'll be like, how to say goodbye Anna. And then you have to fill in one of the words,, it'll be like, how to say goodbye, Anna. Then you have to fill in one of the words,

but it'll have a rivadier cheat. So you just fill in Anna and that's like bonk, got it. Yeah. Game it. Uh-huh. Yeah, Duolingo is not helping anyone get better at anything. It's a scam. Just like everything else.

Everything's a fucking scam, man. Just like that carpet cleaner I bought, I trusted the guy came to my house It was he was nice. It was great good handshake complimented complimented me and my wife Happy couple right here sells us a fucking Bag of stolen goods. Well, yeah, but at least we used it to clean Becker's head. No, it didn't work. It didn't clean anything Shit, that's why Becker's head so dirty it didn't work it didn't clean anything. Oh shit that's why Becker's head is so dirty. Spewed garbage everywhere. Fuck. It's full of trash. Wow yeah you know. Just like this town. I didn't know you yeah your town sucks can you get off your phone. Sorry I'm not. Please there's breaking news. Can you please be present with me right now? A bear got in my trash last night. Hey now we're talking. Okay. So the first

thing I did when I woke up this morning that motherfucker had to have been Here between like 4 a.m. And 8 a.m. Those goddamn bastard bears. Well, how did you know it was a bear? Not just your neighbor Well, I thought it was a reverse Easter basket on the 4th of July eating like the skins of the Kiwis I had last week. Well, you kept them for a week. No, they're in my trash Oh shit. There's do love kiwi week. Yeah. Mm-hmm. That's why New Zealanders can't go to the great national parks of this country Yeah, it's just it's the it's the worst rudest way to wake up Walk out of your bedroom and be like I'm gonna do

this and take a shower and get my day going and then look out your window and be like no I'm gonna put clothes on and go pick up rancid trash I'm gonna go do that well you're probably scared because you usually start your day on the porch with a cigarette and some halibut right yeah it's just danger mm-hmm yeah that bears is that on a big oh looking over my shoulder the bears a car guy Sounds empty Remember listening to car guys with my mom and like her not knowing anything about cars I mean I know anything about cars, but just their folksy East Coast wisdom really came through to us

Yeah, the people calling in for car advice were also... My car's upside down, can I drive it? Yeah. Just the dumbest people. I put a lot of sweet tea in my engine accidentally. And then they'd be like, what kind of noise is your car making? Is it like a ticking or a whirring? Yeah, and then some lady would be like, I don't know.

And then one of the brothers would be like, I'm close Keep going what's it sound like? Not the brothers car guys. That's right. Yeah, our brothers. Yeah car brothers would be cool. Yeah, I'd be about Pontiacs Yeah, hey we don't do that on here. What? We don't, we don't revel in anyone's public shame. It's cancel culture. We're not rock hard right now.

That's why I told you not to do it to yourself. I don't want anyone to revel in your Pontiac. No, I mean, oh, my dad had a Pontiac as a child. I wonder if he knows he was part of the movement. I bet that he would have torched it if he knew. He would have driven it off a cliff. He was a bad guy, and he's dead, so that's good. Much like your mom. She was a bad guy.

She's gone. She was part of the movement too. The earth was better for it. She was a big Hillary guy, and it's like, Hillary sucks, bitch. Yeah, but my mom was also like there in like 1970 in South Cleveland. She lived with two like Rasta guys who sold weed. A lot of Pontiacs. I'm trying to paint a picture. I don't know what shades I should use. So I'm asking questions. Yeah, my mom had this weird period before she went to work at Sea World where she was

just living in like a drug dealer's like flat somewhere in south Cleveland. That's how you get to SeaWorld, man. Oh yeah. SeaWalk World. What did she do at SeaWorld? Yeah. God bless her. Yeah, she wanted to go to San Diego real bad.

No, she went to Orlando. Oh, the OG. She went to the first SeaWorld. Well that's the drug dealer track. Right. Yeah. The first Sea World. Well, that's the drug dealer track. Right. Yeah. What was she doing at Sea World? She was like counting money in like a hot dog stand or something. Yeah. And then she like worked her way up to be like seal whisperer. She like got it. She like climbed her way up the corporate ladder and they wanted her just to come on full time at Sea World and like take over the accounting. She was like, nah, I gotta blow this whale stand.

And she like ran out of gas on the way to Portland and wound up in Colorado married to my father. Whoa. Yeah. Maybe her car had an issue and much like her journey, your car is gonna land you wherever you're at. You're next. Maybe it doesn't make it to Detroit.

That makes it to Waterloo. I was gonna say Waterloo. That'd be great. The side of Gacy's first trouble. You saw them as a young boy there. Oh, shit. I can follow in his footsteps. You could be the next Waterloo guy. Dude, Gacy. I just watched the thing about Gacy.

He sucked. It's instead of being like Justin. Well, instead of being like pure evil and like menacing He sounded like a total doof. He also sounded like my dad because he's from the Midwest I had like that Chicago land. He wasn't from Chicago But I think he's from the Midwest and so there and then he lived in Chicago But yeah, he sounded like such a dope because he's they found 29 kids I think under his house or on his property and and then he's talking to cops and he sounded like such a dope because he's they found 29 kids I think under his house or on his property And and then he's talking to cops and he's like, hey who's to say I even did anything?

You don't know shit. It's like what they're under your house Are you were you so unaware that you you're trying to act like, you know, hey, I'm coming and going I got I got a lot of irons in the fire Anybody could have come and killed a kid that boy. That boy over there he could have been anyone's victim. The crawlspace was a popular neighborhood hangout for young boys and I hey I said I'm not down there to supervise so be careful there's some there's some tetanus down there I'm sure. They're gonna shoot dice somewhere you know they might as well be safe underneath my house right there. I said hey if you find any baseball cards down there put

them in the spokes of your bike. That's fine by me. Just a couple of cactus coolers. Just don't go hurting nobody. But yeah, maybe one rule, no butt fucking a boy. Maybe a serial killer was walking by and he said, Oh, hey, that house looks like it's got a nice crawl space underneath it. I mean, I was busy hanging drywall and I have a fucking painting and decorating company yeah no he sounded like weird about me I'm just like clown such a weirdo sounds like Jason Melton he's like hey who's to say

I even did anything I could get out of here tomorrow it's like I don't think you're going anywhere gaze oh we'll see about that won't we there copper I'll be fine I'll be eating a wet beef in no time. He thought he was that smart I guess which is part of the yeah, the the brain damage. I kept getting away with it He did but while he was arrested he acted like hey, I got away with it And it's like you're currently under arrest handcuffs there for they're digging up the body So don't talk about how you they're digging up what? Copper I don't know what's down there. you're digging up what you think is a body

based on sight and smell and sound yeah sure it's got feet and hands you don't know it's a human boy you're proving it in court hey you don't know you don't know what you got in your hands there I would I could tell you it was no one knows how to identify a teen body like it was crazy, man It's a different thing. Hey, if I get out of here, you guys are all gonna hear You're gonna hear a lot from old Gacy and it's like I don't think we're gonna hear anything There's gonna be egg on your face there. You're gonna have a fucking parade. I'll be there at st. Patrick's They all be dying the river green, you know, that's why we're named after you know, a real serial killer You know talking that's why we're named after, you know, a real serial killer, you know, talking to dogs

Yeah, he thinks he's God not some schlub who's like hey I'm hoping to be the hoping to be your next city comptroller John Wayne Gacy. I love a pleasure to meet you He's present flesh. Yeah, I literally pressed him to death But here's you know what he did what he would he would show He would bring the these boys to his house and say hey See those handcuffs there and he'd put them on himself and then get out of them right and be like hey It's a magic trick. See if you can figure it out and then they'd put them on and he'd be like, oh no It's I got a different trick. It's where you go under the crawls forever there. I'm gonna make you disappear like chocolate I'm gonna make you disappear. You like chocolate? I'm gonna cover you in dirt.

It's kinda close. It's the earth equivalent. Well also Dean Coral did the same thing. So there's like all those like, hypothesize about how Dean Coral in Texas was working with John Wayne Gacy because like there was this guy who was producing CP pamphlets like via the mail.

And they had like a same- Like you but with CP instead of AP, adult porn. I do run a Chris Paul merch site Yeah, CP 3 CP 3 Oh PG 13 Paul George right but anyway, so yeah, that's like a fun one was followed down Yeah, Dean Coral was the candy man. I don't know about him. Oh, he was bad to the bone. Yeah, he was no good Allegedly makes Albert Fish look like Albert Tilapia a cool guy. Yeah, like the Gorton's fisherman. Uh-huh yeah, he like he would like film it I

Think he was the the toy box killer was his name the Candyman. Yeah, I had a bunch of cool name great branding I'm the Candyman. I got more than frozen cups. Remember that song? Yeah. Family Rock and Roller? Yeah, I remember that. God, that song is like the best of all time. That one makes me want to hug Becker and jump down the stairs. That one makes me want to avenge forgotten transgressions, dude. I love that song. Gets the blood pressure up. Yes sir. Rock and roll and roll and rock I got ones I got 20s I got 50 rocks. Careful what comes next? Usually a couple bars ahead so that you can... Coke for sale got so much coke I got coke in jail. Mm- there's some, there's some other stuff.

There's some stuff, uh, that you can see if you, if you want to find it. Uh, so yeah, you're down here in Trinidad. Oh, you blew that, uh, that young man's mind at mutiny. Sweet. What was his name? Havoc? Canyon. Who was his name? Crush?

No. What was his name? DDP. Yeah. No, it was Canyon. Yeah. It was who better than Canyon? I walked nobody I walked into mutiny where your wife is the owner proud owner Donnie Miller Yeah used to be you could get coffee from her but Somebody decided to go full on him hey we're not over here spiking the football no one's doing the word I'm a center I'm not sending I'm gonna do to I'm getting I'm getting

updates hold on I haven't just been sending everyone the touchdown GIF and or the ladies and gentlemen, we got him GIF. I haven't sent anyone the screenshot of the guy whispering in Bush's ear. That hasn't happened at all. The dead. Yeah. My wife didn't find out and then just respond with all caps. Yes. But yeah, Young Canyon, well, I wasn't in there for the immediate, but you said he did the cartoon like. Yeah. I walked into this guy, just this like long hair with a very thin mustache, sees me and goes and then just stares and I'm like,

yeah it's me, Sam Talent, how a pleasure to meet you. And I shook his hand and he went, are you sure you're not just a guy who looks like Sam Talent? I was like, no, my dumb friends live here, I live in La Junta. And he was like, you live in La Junta?

My dad was a tilapia farmer, he was ripped. And then we stand there for three minutes after I have my coffee. Because he left and then he came back in after we told him about the big show tonight here in Trinidad Yeah, and he was like you're the first celebrity I ever met and I was like no I'm not a celebrity And they shows me a bunch of shirtless pictures of his dad flexing. He was ripped. He was ripped. Yeah, look like RFK He was an older guy and he was ripped. He looked like Lanny Poffo. He did look like Lanny Poffo What are you gonna do?

Deep cut. Wait, Angelo, excuse me. Angelo Poffo. Angelo was Randy's dad. There's a bunch of Angelo. Angelo Poffo was father to Randy Poffo and Lanny Poffo. Lanny, later known as Da Genius. Oh, he was Da Genius? He was Da Genius.

He was Ellen Da Genius. Ellen ended up being kind of a sea, huh? Her dark side of comedy was that she was a sea. This is real sea monster. My mom worked there. Sea world. Just a bunch of guns. Everybody's just an asshole to you. I'm glad we came to sea world. Dad, wrong sea world. Dad,

coral gables, somebody just shoulders as they walk by, get over it. Oh fuck. Yeah. Some ladies like, oh, that shirt must be cool when it fits. Excuse me. Drinking caramel macchiatos in the way at the top of escalator. Where are the orcas? Where are the orcas? I'm looking at one right now. Wrong sea world, stupid.

That'll be 60 bucks. They come out with a bunch of merch. They're like, well, we had to buy something. We had to make memories. Some girl gets her hair braided. SeaWorld. Yeah, Ellen's just doing sets three times a day. Who's opening for her? I got a couple guesses. Yeah, that guy was funny. He literally didn't believe.

Funny that you say what your name is and he tries to confirm that he's not being... He's looking for Jamie Kennedy. He saw the Gacy thing like I did on Netflix and he was like man. This could be another gay see He looks like Sam Talon. He goes around. I do look kind of like a see his flesh and throws me into his van Yeah, I'm gonna fall for this again. Yeah, he's been he's been got My name is Canyon, but I'm I'm not just surface level. I'm pretty deep. Look at my dad. He's ripped My hot dad did he think that I was the same talent impersonator just come to town well I mean makes more sense I guess for a ripoff to be here then then the real deal yeah the real item genuine I would time he would think

you were like giving a lecture at Yukon or something right? Yeah, Oklahoma State. He's from Oklahoma coach coach like Switzer But uh, yeah, he was dumbfounded. We'll probably try to sneak him into the show tonight get me have to let's get him fucked up He's never seen a live performance. He's never seen a human person before he's only read about them in magazine Yeah, he was orphaned as a young boy. He's like I've never been to a concert never been to a comedy show and I was like you should attend and he went yes I'm tend I've never been to a movie theater he hasn't done anything I get my coffee it's my eight dollar coffee every day shut up what it's a great coffee it wasn't eight bucks it was with tip it was eight bucks with. Yeah, you know 53 cents or whatever

Flip the screen on my ass bitch. I'll show you what happens. No Friend of the working man Sam talent I'd get a real job Sam T. Yeah And why don't you why don't you jerk off Canyon over here? He looks eager I said that oh, yeah, what a candy what a canyon He said he was going to do something during the show and it's like, oh good, your first idea is to interrupt. Right, yeah, he's gonna give me a big shout out from the crowd.

I was like, I think everyone's gonna know it's me, bro. Becker's doing time tonight. No. Becker's hosting. Oh, okay. Becker, please host. I Don't have anything. I just go up there and talk about your crazy life. He barely has a thought in his head Yeah, except for whatever's right in front of him. Oh, yeah. I was up super late. They got up early I woke up feeling like hell. Yeah, we rolled into your place and you were the outlaw Josie Wales. It's Duncan there

I'm sure reeked in there, dude. No effects. And dog. There's like no lights in there, there's just a bunch of burnt candles down to the nub. A lot of nubs. Here's the nub. I woke up feeling weird. It always sucks to feel weird and then have two of your favorite people come over and be like, Hey, what's up? And just be just be like oh we are on different wavelengths yeah I'm like

middle distance you're dressed for paintball smoking two cigarettes and a cigar what the fuck are we even doing yeah you said you were and you guys are like it's it's playtime we're going to the we're going to the bubble gum store I drew Dilbert on Becker's belly We're gonna feed it carrots. His mouth is the belly button Yeah, so yeah, I'm glad that you guys were able to Much like a body under gaze under Gacy's house. You guys pulled me out of the mud Clean me off dude you being mad in there I went from every instinct I had to slap and tickle to my mom coming home from work and just being quiet in her room

And be like wanting to go to the door and be like hey, I learned a new song like right away I go into crisis mode. Yeah how to make you happy Yeah, it's nice. I told you it's not your job Don't worry. I'll be alright. Well, we Well, we went to lunch and I started to feel better And we got the breaking news. Well, I meant Game early, that's helping for sure Yeah woke up this is a new one I have I have gout pain in both of my big toes So that's breaking fat guy news. Normally

it's one or the other and so you just kind of favor one and you stay off of one. But no I have pain in both. Erect. So that sucks and you know I'm out of my meds but in order to get more I would need to like prove my indigence to you know the higher- ups at the hospital. I, uh, I actually know that's not true. No. Yeah. My wife told me that you could have come to the clinic yesterday, but you

quote had fish to fry and then now yesterday the clinic was closed. Well, whichever day it was this week, the fourth, I had to work on Wednesday. I didn't have any three in the afternoon. I could have come today, except you were coming here to do this show, to do a cartwheel, a cartwheel Yeah to cartwheel down Main Street for money. I'm selling the record for dizziest bitch. Do you know about the wet parade? No yesterday. There was a dry parade and then it was followed by a wet parade what?

there were buckets of river water and There were buckets of river water and squirt guns of plenty and people blasted each other with water with river fire truck had a low Low volume blast Going I didn't go your wet t-shirt contest. I didn't on there on the streets. You didn't go. No, I was depressed I was sleeping. You didn't go to the hose down. Was it like 10, 15 am? So I'm asleep. People were wet all day. They were getting you weren't there. I was with my family

in the springs. Were they wet? It was in the springs. This is a Trinidad. My niece went swimming. All right. Keeping your pants. She's four. Oh, Becker. Gacy over here. Yeah. No. Yeah. Gacy. She had a cool swim shirt that has fish scales. She was very big very proud of it There was this guy named Gabe who used to work at the Jimmy John's way gave or gave Becker Gabe who worked with my buddy crusty and Bonzo at the Jimmy John's at Broadway and 16th when we first moved to Denver crusty and Bonzo at the Jimmy John's at Broadway and 16th when we first moved to Denver and I would always call him gay B and he hated it and then like he died like 10 years later and so I think I'm a broken heart yeah JJ Hilger told me oh

you're about gay be fucking he's dead man I was like gay B and then we laughed. I don't know how he died. It was tragic. He just laughed at him. You never got any more updates on the story. Yeah, it was like, gay B? And then he was like, oh yeah. You knew about that? Yeah, because he worked there too. Yeah. Damn, gay C.

Shout out JJ, he's listening right now out in Wichita. Painting houses. Wichita. Painting houses. Wichita? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I don't want to be finding you with a bucket of rich man's paint. That's what he always said to me. Am I footing the shot?

Shout out Gabby. Probably not. Maybe your toes. Gabby's up there with Gay C right now. Now this might be a situation where letting this melt will make it better for you. Yeah, there's way too much caramel in it. Who would have thought it was too sweet? Yeah, Paula, little sweet Paula who shook my hand for some reason when I came into mutiny.

A hell of a pleasure to meet you. Yeah. She went to the dog food abbot school of firm handshakes and eye contact. She's been selling your book for a couple years. Well, she doesn't have any copies now. Not now, but she's like, she's aware of you. from Handshakes and Eye Contact. She's been selling your book for a couple years. Well, she doesn't have any copies now. Not now, but she's like, she's aware of you. She's gonna have to call Random House

to get some more copies. You're gonna have to call BMG. Yeah. 10 CDs for a penny. I'm in the book of the month club, where you can get 12 books for a penny. I don't get a dime off of it. You get a penny. Which makes sense get I don't get a dime off of it. You get a penny make sense

Yeah I saw the bike riders. Oh You did. Yeah, is it good fucking badass the trailer? So good makes me want to watch it. Yeah, you should see the bike riders everyone. It's great entertainment Oh, yeah, it's just I went with Joe from art and Pat and beforehand we went to What's the Italian beef? Portillo's Portillo's went to Portillo's in suburban, Illinois and I got mine dipped

I got a fucking hot beef Dipped and they had to put it in a plastic bag and then they ate it out of the plastic bag like an ice cream sundae Yeah, it was awesome. Oh, I said really soak that bun and yeah, it's Yeah, you can't do a lot with it once it's dipped, but it is tasty I literally had to scoop it out of the yeah used of spoon plastic spoon The best way to do it would have been to make it like an icing piping bag I should have cut the corner off and then just wheeze the juice into my mouth Slap the bag like it was wine. wine yeah I'm excited about the portillo's I'm gonna eat in an airport

in five weeks you're not gonna be able to because your stomach's gonna be wrecked my stomach's wrecked I had pot stickers today I'm gonna have portillo's I don't care hey deal me in there hey come on now oh you know it's funny I just saw someone I think a random person online said that their their new favorite drink is a Drambuie on the rocks. You remember Drambuie? Yeah dude that's when I got this tattoo this Bart Simpson. Is that right? Yeah I was in Tucson at a Don't Tell and the owner of the tattoo parlor was like I'm gonna tattoo you before you leave. I was like, no, you're just some drunk guy. And he's like, yeah, it might be some drunk guy, but I own this fucking place. And I saw him open a bottle

of Drambuie and just drink off of it. I was like, are you drinking Drambuie? And he went to tap me and he's like, this is my third bottle today. So he was getting wasted on Drambuie and then he tatted me on stage. You give me undead Bart Simpson. What's Drambo? We it's an awful Likur and it was a sponsor of an early high plane. Oh my God. This is high noon. An iconic photograph of me and David Bori soaked and we're holding a bucket full of Drambo. And it looks like we just won like the 2005 NBA finals. I'm so bonus. Yeah, why is that?

He's Keith Tractor trailer. Yeah, the Drambuie was everywhere and they had like suggestions for what to mix it with and they would none of them worked. Yeah. Straight up. It was awful, but you couldn't hide it with any juice or soda or anything. It was just fucked, but it was free. So everybody kept trying to choke it down. We choked. And yeah,

I hadn't thought about it. I hadn't thought about it until, uh, seeing that post like yesterday, they said, Drambuie on the rocks. And I was like, no, it like brought me back there. Like I was in the fucking crawl space trying to get out. And Casey was like, stay down there. Hey, put the handcuffs on. Hey, come on and get down there. The devil told me your time is up. We were putting liquid handcuffs on at that festival, man. It was so dope.

I was so drunk. Yeah, but yeah, that shit was a fucking nightmare. Yeah, that was an Andy Jewett proposal. He got Drambuwi for the festival. He thought it was funny. Yeah. And it was very funny. I remember the last day of the fest, he was just handing people bottles of Drambu for the festival. I thought it was funny. Yeah, and it was very funny

Last day the fest he was just handing people bottles of Drambu II and we were like fuck Yeah To be young again. It was fucked man. Now when I think about drinking I get a headache Yeah, and I think about how much booze I used to put into my system for like 15 years straight now I just get like kind of anxious and a headache. Were you ever a shots guy or a talk-tale? I was whatever anyone wanted to buy me. Right. If you were a big titted slug,

but you're mostly beer. I mean, I was, yeah, but that's when I could like choose what I wanted. If a barkeep was like, hey, you want to do a Frenette? I'd be like, you know, it'd be funny if we did six. That'd be nuts. Yeah. You know?

Yeah. Or one time this lady had a bottle of lemon pucker and she had it between her tits at Ron's. And she was serving people and I got like black out drunk cause I kept getting a drink out of her tits. So like after the novelty wore off. Were you picking her up and pouring it? No, she would like bend forward and like shove them

and I'd be like below her like thank you mommy Letting it spill all over me Yeah, I did not bang that woman believe it or not Mm-hmm Oh Yeah earlier when you talked about your mom coming home mad that was my dad if if if he came in and was pissed It was like oh good now. We have to walk on eggshells for the rest of the night Anything could set him off

My mom wouldn't take it out on us She would just come home and be sad and be this like Paul cast over the house Yeah, and my dad would like just automatically go from like, you know blowing on his jug Singing us family songs, you know, he got out the juice harp You know my mom it's not juice harp juice. Okay the algorithm my mom comes juice harps juice harp okay the algorithm it's juice okay yeah I was gonna school you by the way in Rocky Ford in the museum of Rocky Ford they have a whole case it's just juice harps and I walked up and like my mother-in-law was there with me when she was in town I was like, it's pretty funny.

Why are there so many? Where are the owners? It's a bunch. Yeah. They look old too. Probably like, uh, what? 80 years old. Well, yeah. And then the guy told me who runs the museum, he's like, yeah, at Rocky Ford days last summer, we had a collection of objects from here in the museum and that one really stumped people. It was fun to tell them what it was called. It's like, I get you brother I see you man. Call him a mouth harp if you want Yeah, my mom never took it out on us she would just like go into a room and turn on

You know Murphy's designing women. Yeah designing women Empty nests. I have a memory of weeping during empty nest for some reason Hmm remember that show? Yeah, you've brought it up before. It wasn't one that we watched a lot, but I remember the main guy was funny or whatever. Yeah. Murphy Brown was big though. Murphy Brown ruled. We didn't watch Murphy Brown. My mom used to make green jello and watch Murphy Brown and I wouldn't let it set all the way and I'd just be like drinking jello out of a bowl because my mom's like Fat little boy watching erudite comedy with her as I keep drinking out of a bowl of green slime

Because you couldn't wait Wait, wait. Oh, yeah, yeah. Because Jell-O is like two hours. Right. Pudding is like 10 minutes. Right. Pudding is quick. But Jell-O is a couple hours. Pudding in a hurry.

Jell-O, you got to plan your day around. You can't. And that was our thing. I want it now. Well, we would always make green Jell-O and watch Murphy Brown. Why didn't you? And sometimes she'd get home late. If it was our thing, we'd make it together.

But it seems like you should have done it while she was at work. Sure. Yeah. And then? It was part thing, we'd make it together. But it seems like you should have done it while she was at work. Sure, yeah. And then? It was part of the ritual. Just a little fat boy drinking a bullet job. Yeah, like six years old. Me and my dad had a thing too, we would watch my so-called life and eat Doritos and what's that, that Frito dip?

Frito dip? Oh, the bean dip? Yeah. Yeah. I remember one time they said the word slut and I was like my friend Casey Bolding is like a slut and my dad went don't ever fucking say that and he came across the room and flicked my ear And we just sat there in silence. He should have bean dipped you. Dad comes over. Now who's the slut Sam? He just went to second base with your dad. I remember that. Whoa. It was really bad.

Yeah, Bike Riders is good. Oh yeah. That's good to hear because it's not making money. So I was nervous. Well there's it's an all-star cast. Yeah. Yeah, that's good to hear because it's not making money. So I was nervous. Well, there's it's an all-star cast Yeah. Yeah, it's really good, dude. It's fucking Bane in Austin Butler Yeah, who I thought was machine gun Kelly the whole movie As we walked out I was like damn machine gun Kelly can act and that was like that's Austin Butler whoa And they all do the Chicago accent from the 50s. So it's crazy beers. It's crazy beers there, man.

Oh, those boys loved to ride. And I would say, well, who's gonna do the damn laundry? Who's gonna keep the damn roof over our head, huh? Fuck yeah. And they would go out and they would raise hell and they'd be punching up and dusting down. And I'd say, hey, all right, well, make sure you take off your boots

before you come on the carpet. It was really good. A bunch of gaseys riding around on bikes. There's a guy named cockroach cause he eats bugs and he just has huge pork chop, like mutton chops. And he's a fat guy. And while he's riding, he just has his mouth open. Well, and he like stands for like what the initial cause of the club was, was just like nasty dudes having fun.

Crazy beers. Right. Crazy beers. Cause he like ate bugs. So he was like the bad boy in the neighborhood. Yeah. Then later on they have all these like Vietnam vets like getting out and like taking acid then they beat the shit out of him. Yeah. Spoiler alert. Yeah great movie. Tom Hardy taxing me the whole time. He has this voice. Wait Tom Hardy. Tom Hardy Bane. Weird voice decision Yeah, I know yeah

Everything he's ever been in yes, so there's all these guys out there They want to be bad and I want to be bad, too What are you rebelling against? Yeah Tom Hardy is little Nicky in bike riders Yeah, I get to play the most famous Latin character in comic book history Yeah. Tom Hardy is little Nicky in bike riders. I get to play the most famous Latin character in comic book history. What should I do? Yeah.

Yeah, that's the one. My name is Diego. I'm from Waterloo. Yeah. Some guys like, I challenge you for the club. And he's like, blade your knuckles. I can't even do it, it's so ridiculous. Bean dips on the table. Yeah, bean dip off at the graveyard at midnight.

They tape hands. Yeah. The beat it video. But instead of knives, knives yeah they're just bean dipping we have any ads on this one beckers yeah this one this one's great this was a patreon why just cuz you guys named names yeah oh I don't care no this one's good we do have an ad let me yeah I don't want to be a motorcycle guy when motorcycle guy when I get older. No, you don't. I don't. That's how you die. I want to leave it on the pit. Yeah, no shit. Okay. Fair enough. First thing he said to us today, he said you were,

I wanted to be honest. I didn't want to like try to fake it. And then you ask what's wrong. And then I tell you, so I figured I just let you know I'm wearing it right now. Hey fellas real quick. I'm wearing it. I'm going through one here So unless you want to be under the fucking crawlspace steer clear. Yeah, we gave you space I went outside and took Becker away and then cleaned out my car in your trashcan. Oh good. Yeah, there's a bunch of that should get picked up Today well, you know what got picked up today my my mattress. Oh, yeah Yeah, I got a helix mattress delivered to the old house there in in Detroit and I can't wait to lay down in it because I want to finally stop tossing and turning

And then you shouldn't have done what you did You should have tried to save that poor boy that you left on the side of the road. It says they can't fix your partner. Well he looks mattress of course, is who they is in this. I don't have my glasses on so I'm just kind of ripping it. Why are you reading it? Let me handle it. Put them on. Hands are full of stupid. He's the only one getting a mattress. They can't, well that's not the point. You're gonna know the most about it. Well they can't fix your partner who steals all the covers. Yeah. You know what we do we go European style I have my own sheet and blanket so does she. Yeah that's the cold war. That's the move. Literally. But they are the most comfortable mattresses ever. They have 20 mattresses in the lineup. That's a lot.

20? What's a lineup of mattresses? Goldilocks would cream her. Oh, yeah, she'd be stuck in there forever. She'd go crazy Which one's in the middle? Yeah, she'd run to the big Red Wolf's house. Mm-hmm. Yeah Including ones perfect for back and side sleepers, which I do. Sometimes I just go I wish I could sleep on my fucking back What do you do belly? Mostly belly side is in play but a lot of times it's belly and it's hard. You wake up, your face is sweaty. I wish I was on my back. Yeah, you look like you dropped out of a helicopter and your chute failed. I look like Edward James Olmos almost every morning. Just sweating, sweating into my

own pores. Sometimes you sleep face down, ass up. I've known this. That's the way I like to sleep. Yeah with your hands at your side. Gacy, Gacy was here. Come get me John. Plow me. John Wayne Gacy. John Wayne Gacy here for helix mattresses. After you're done strangling a 15 year old you want to get a good night's sleep because you got to paint a house in the morning. So get a helix god damn it and become God. You don't even have to hide them under your crawlspace. You can put them right underneath the mattress, like the princess and the P there. When I met Rosalyn Carter, she said, it does. It looks like you haven't slept in a week.

And I said, I sure haven't. I've been waiting for my goddamn helix mattress to show up and it's been a nightmare. Well, it's for people who run hot and people who run cold. Literally impossible. Thanks, Helix. What'd you bend the fucking time space continuum? And Helix Plus for all big and tall

sleepers, which is what I have. I have a Helix Plus. Nice. Yeah. For a big boy. So my wife's just not just cowering on her fifth of the bed as I sprawl out like Gargantuan.

Find the mattress that's right for you by taking there. And you're going to love this because I know when you want to figure out what mattress you want to the bed as I sprawl out like gargantuan find the mattress that's right for you by taking there and you're gonna love this because I know when you want to figure out what mattress you want to take a sleep quiz it's pass fail I just cheated off Emily it takes less than two minutes you have to take it while you're sleeping which is hard it's really difficult I woke up the pencil was up my ass yeah you know what I said I liked it the scantron got red I don't have a machine it spells out six six six I love the helix matrix I've

slept in a couple of these in my day in some of the nicer hotels they have helix mattresses and I am so fucking stoked to lay down in mine forever and never open my eyes again after this big long drive that I got coming up all the way across middle America you're gonna have your helix waiting for you. Oh yeah I'm just gonna lay right down on it and I'm gonna say hey dad get out tell room me and Emmy got a sage this place you know what I mean. And it doesn't contain fiberglass materials like other mattresses. My mattress is chock full of fiberglass I wake up bleeding I got cuts everywhere I

say who the fuck designed this mattress well I mean I would never put a high fiberglass in my body as I have a dip in right now so you can rest easy knowing your health is in good hands that is good mattress mattress poisoning kills millions every year and kills millions every year. Not only are these the best mattresses ever, they get shipped directly to your door for free and come in a box. So do I when I get on the mattress. With a 10 to 15 year warranty and a hundred night trial, you can't go wrong. Finally something you can't fuck up in your stupid life so much of my life I'm just bumping my head off of fucking glass walls I don't even see be

with Casey Casey had a 100 night trial he did he was gonna get away with it the whole time I can't wait to get the hell out of here it sucks in here man hey I can't wait for this to finally just end with me with my head on a pillow you're all gonna be a pilot fiberglass underneath me with my head on a pillow. You're all gonna be apologizing. Fiberglass underneath me with my every move, comforted by asbestos and fiberglass. Oh my God, I smoked too much weed on the drive here and now I'm like. You're still gorked.

I didn't smoke weed yesterday. Who cares? Well, I took a day off. One day shouldn't turn you back to being 14. I'm 14 again. I fear Gacy. You're 14. I'm 14 again. I fear Gacy. You're 14 and I'm Gacy. Becker's got a crawl space with your name on it here.

Go Sox. But Helix is offering up to 30% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helixsleep.com slash chubby. That's helixsleep.com, D-O-T-C-O-M slash S-L-A-S-H, chubby, C-H-U-B-B-Y. This is their best offer yet and it won't last long. With Helix, better sleep starts now. Oh, I'm trying to face unlock it for you. Oh, thank you. Not bald.

Oh, yeah, but I smoked weed. I hit my hash pen on the drive here and I was listening to Andy Daly on Conan O'Brien. Yeah. And it was like I literally put a plastic bag over my head. Laughing so hard. I was just he said something about like how for

his Bonanza podcast, they called like the owner of Bonanza Steakhouses and they were trying to open up a Bon his bonanza podcast they called like the owner of bonanza steak houses And they were trying to open up a bonanza brand, but they called in character And he was like yeah, we got this pure one imports over here. We spent a lot of time in there as it is. I Can't anyway, that's not a good No, tell us it Andy Daly the goat. Yeah, I haven't watched I haven't watched much of that just yet But yeah, because you're in a severe depression. I'm watching Gacy

Yeah, I watched a Gacy the Lost tapes or whatever But yeah, he was a real in the music. He was a real creep He wasn't good. He was a real creep creep. Oh, it's a bad guy He was always going from job site to job site. He's like why are these cops following me? I got jobs to do I got a paint this guy's house I got a drywall this ladies back back porch. This one's a hand job site. He's just acting like

Acting like he was getting railroaded It's like I think it's cuz of the shit you did in Waterloo And then the fact that a kid that wants to talk to you about a job was never seen again Yeah, oh well that'd be all well and good except I'm up to my ass and pass date pass due on my subcontractors Billings no one wants to pay me for building a damn deck. It's like do you want to sit outside and watch the fireworks hell? Do you get any sleep Luckily our dogs Alamo and Lahanta. Yeah, luckily our dogs do not care about fireworks because they're like you they're ready to go Yeah, but uh, yeah, they they don't mind them if they did

What would you do? I would want to go out and threaten you know to kill a neighbor and then that's awkward because the kids are like daddy No Daddy, don't go into the crawlspace with the gay see Hey, I told you to have your quids kick kids quit calling me guess No, we're all having fun around here. It's a goof around neighborhood surf sub schools out, but hey Miguel Noah Stoy Casey Amo no Casey Having fun last night not the neighborhood kids. I think the alderman the City Council

Over there in La Junta and the mayor is dude is a taco holding a fire work yeah la Junta they were melon poppin yeah they're blasting mouth they put a they put an M80 in a watermelon and blow it up and then they read and they pick it up piece by piece and throw it away I'm sure yeah for sure no they don't smell good or extra awful I don't know I only saw two melon pops me and Emily drove up to the golf course to watch the fireworks. Yeah. And it sucked up there and the mosquitoes savaged us.

But while we were up there, we saw two melons pop. And it wasn't like, it didn't like explode. It would like pop and then like the melon would break and then like half of it would fall off the table. That's nothing. It wasn't that great. Why wouldn't it explode? I don't know. They didn't cut holes in it first. I think you got to poke holes

but That's just a guess and that is an uneducated guess we just sleep in the basement We had to sleep in the crawlspace last night We cosplayed Gacy's victims. Yeah, it sucked. The basement is very cold I know you're chilly down there always cold. She was chilly all bit. She had to turn the AC off because she got cold. I was like, bitch, sleep in the car. Why'd I get you the big car if you're not gonna sleep in it? Get out there.

Yeah, but I'm uh, I'm leaving guys. You're never gonna be in Colorado again. I'm never coming back to Stink Town, that's for sure. You couldn't trick me into coming back to this rat trap. Hear that Canyon? You shot. Is it over? Yeah. Oh yeah, I also did the Joe Rogan experience. Yes.

Yes. That went well. What was, yeah? Uh huh. I made him laugh a bunch. Gee'd any wacky fucking honey this time No, but we did open the episode with smelling salts. Okay. Well, I saw a video of that. That's his new thing He loves the smelling salts. So I was new thing. We were huge on that between like 18 and 19. What? Pew yeah, we fucking get those smelling salts. My buddy little John went to like France for the summer. He was one of the East Side boys

Like his last name is little John But he got into smelling salts with like the trash he ran around with in fucking France for the summer Yeah, and brought it back to all of us and it was like it's a nice It brings you back a little bit if you've done a little too much opiate. Oh yeah, I bet. If you're on the nod, crack that jar, put it underneath your nose. Next thing you know, you're roofing a house.

Well, it's that weird buzz that then kicks in for five minutes and it's fun. It's really a heinous thing. You're getting married. You're like, what? You're signing a mortgage. How long have I been managing the Home Depot? Wait, so is it like a new product? It's an old technology. It's ancient. No, no, I'm saying like straight ammonia I think. He has like the one that's illegal. Really? Yeah. He has one that just

has a bunch of pregnant women with exes on them. In South America, it's an abortion pill. Whoa. Yeah. What did he, what did it, let's, uh, why don't we, uh, why don't we hit a little bit of the old smelling salts? I was like, you got it, Joe. And then he, you know, he does a chin up with his teeth. I did it and went literally like the first 30 seconds of my episode I think is me like almost throwing up

Did you feel Crazy afterwards now cuz I do it in the clean the comedy club. It's in the mothership green room and Ron White loves it So he'll like do it and then I would do it and then it's like I'm used to it But it still sucks every time. Hmm Be great if you had a head cold. Yeah. Yeah, doing it straight is kind of wild. Cause you do it to like, kind of like, to change the buzz when you're already

too fucked on something. Well, I think it's when you're literally knocked out and your brain is on red line. Yeah. And then it brings you back, then you can go take the winning snap in the football game. Yeah. Yeah The version of that we had in Elizabeth High School was my offensive line coach coach Barrett would heart thump you That was his big thing. I remember hearing about them

I've probably told you guys about this on this podcast Maybe not on the pod, but there was a kid named Billy Johnson who was our scout team quarterback Great kid, but you know 5'4", 110 pounds. And I remember this one time Greg Blazier who was an all-state powerlifting champion as well as defensive tackle and he weighed like maybe 205 pounds. He was just like lean muscle. He was the first kid I ever saw with like visible veins all over his body. Yeah just vascular. And he was like scout team offense versus defense. And he, you know, swam, moved some big fat freshmen and just picked Billy up and

then grave diggered him deep into the ground. And Billy is literally laying on the ground like screaming and and back. No, I got coach Becker coach Barrett comes up and he's like, all right out of the way All right, Johnson on three, you know the game one two heart thump Just brought this big club down and you know Billy was like oh and it didn't help at all believe it or not Help in any situation Let's get that heart off course. Yeah, this one kid, Jagger, had a broken,

he tore his ACL and it was in the snow and Coach Barrett was like, drag him off underneath the sled, it's heart thump time. And he was like, it's my knee, Coach, it's my knee. And Barrett was like, it's a cure all for everything. And then just one, two, heart thump. And it didn't fix anything. Called it out.

I was like, that's like, you know, consent in 2004 coach. I gotta tell you, I've been having a tough time at home. My parents are fighting. They're screaming at each other all night. I can barely get a wink. I'm exhausted. I don't know what to do. Lay down real quick, real quick. Lay down, lay down can barely get a wink. I'm exhausted. I don't know what to do lay down real quick

Real quick lay down lay down put your helmet on makes it easy. I got something for you Yeah, hard thought man Called his shot. Here's the guy who gave me and David Borey porno when we graduated. Oh Good we're halfway there No No home stretch When we graduated. Oh good, we're halfway there. No. No. Home stretch. You love podcasts and you said this is the only thing that keeps you from

putting a gun in my mouth. Get it right. Putting a gun in my mouth, not turning it on myself. Well you're pretty turned on when you put it in there. Yeah, it's the only way. Megan, Megan. Load another shotgun shell. turned on it on put it in there only way oh I also read a couple books so how about that my listener yeah what did you watch the author show and I was inspired yeah now you're one of the few that actually does read there's this guy

named Frank Bill who wrote this great short story collection called crimes in southern, Indiana And I loved it and I gave it to Chris Sharpen tear cuz he was like I want to try reading and I gave him That and I gave him knock-em-stiff by Don Ray Pollock and he loved him both and then Frank Bill wrote a book called Donnybrook which was about a big like backyard cage fighting tournament in southern, Indiana, which was a continuation of about a big like backyard cage fighting tournament in Southern Indiana, which was a continuation of crimes in Southern Indiana. It was badass. And then he wrote a book about like the apocalypse

and a bunch of these like backwards doomsday preppers, like surviving the apocalypse. Awesome. And his latest book, Back to the Dirt, maybe the worst novel I've ever read. It's insane, dude. Why does that happen? I don't know.

I mean, it wasn't like he was like winning like man Booker Awards for these previous novels But they were like cool and he has a real great like sawed-off approach to the English language like a lot of things like start With like nouns turned into verbs, you know, okay He'll be like blunted nose smushed to pulp like stuff like that But in this book for some reason instead of using the word face It's only complexion so it'll be like like stuff like that. But in this book, for some reason, instead of using the word face, it's only complexion. So it'll be like, and you could see on his complexion, the sadness creeping in or like spreading blood all over his complexion or like he made his complexion

into nothing. It's like, dude, it also uses the word canvas all the time. He'll be like, and the flames canvassed the countryside It's like dude this sucks. It's so bad. It's a caricature of what was already like a postmodern version of Noir and man, I cannot recommend it less. That's too bad Bummer cuz I was stoked cuz I just finished I Just read these like three Emma Klein novels who's badass but it's like girl books about girls like surviving on their hot wits And it's badass. It's like the version of like a Dude like hitchhiking and then like stealing the car This is like that same lady, but she's hitchhiking but like shows some leg and then all of a sudden

She's staying in like a millionaire's townhome. So they're cool books She wrote a book about like the Manson family from the girls perspective Called the girls and I was like, I want to read a boy book There any Frank bill that I've missed and Jesus Christ. This thing is like it was written by if chat GPT Also like did a bunch of really bad crystal meth Sounds like it's a bummer. Oh, yeah that reminded me of and and I thought about this a couple days ago you wrote an article for something den's no no no a while back and They fought the headline was something very stupid like you tried to convey how hard it is to do standard or something vice Yeah, vice what was that? What was the headline?

The headline was like stand-up comedy is the worst fucking thing you could ever do and why does anyone do it? I'm a little baby who, stand-up comedy is the worst fucking thing you could ever do, and why does anyone do it? Something like that. I'm a little baby who hates stand-ups. It's like, all my dreams are coming true and I want a KYS. Yeah, it was nuts. Yeah. Maybe I can find it. You guys vamp. Stand-up sucks and I'm gay.

It's like, why does it have to be this? That's a constant thing, where an editor gets to, gets to, is in control of the headlines. And so you can have this like cool article. Making people laugh for a living sucks. Yeah. Yeah. What a fucking asshole. Yeah, and they also edited out

any of the positive parts of that thing. Yeah. It's one of those things where they were like, can you give us 5,000 words? And I was like, sure. And I turned it in and they chop it down to like 1800 words and they just cut out any synonym for like success or happy in that thing. It was brutal. Yeah. I couldn't remember the details of the article. I just remembered that you, yeah, you were like, oh good. Yeah. This thing where I'm trying to like describe how hard, basically instead of saying that standup is grueling

and hard and it's worth it, but God damn it, you know, like there's a lot more to it than like living your dream and like getting to travel, you know, and then they just turn it into like, I'm a little baby. I'm Tai Tai. Yeah. I'm Tai Tai and I drink too much I'm hungy yeah all this hole I'm gouging it's too tight well no cuz it

was a rebuttal to fuck what's her name she hangs out with Claire O'Kane Megan oh yeah Megan Keister Megan Keister wrote a thing that was like a week on the road doing standup. And she was like staying in hotels and getting paid for shows and complaining about it. Yeah. And I was like, so pissed because it's like, I remember she was complaining about doing a festival that I wanted to do. And she was like, it sucks. And I was like, well, I really wanted to do that festival, you know?

So then I turned this thing in and they just turned into the exact same thing. And right away I hit up Keister and I was like, I'm sorry I was such a bitch about your thing because I see what they did to me now Yeah, that was the same thing with her article where they made it one-sided I could see her being more like of a bummer about it, you know she was from LA, but I think that they probably made her sound like the mega bitch Yeah, the nightmare bitch real to generous yeah

yeah my mom was feeding her total ed I shout to Joe Hatfield for cranking out the nightmare bitch on the new wide world yeah dude there's rules there's a lot of highlights in the episode that might be the best part. There's wide world There's a lot of good stuff in this one. You know you guys know it's me or wide world Yeah, gave it to you, and there's less Lund. There's very little Lund, so that's good. Yeah I'm just kind of there. Yeah, you're there bumping around You get some shit in but yeah now it was very funny. I enjoyed it Megan enjoyed it. Thank you. So If Megan liked it that I know that I'm talking to people

She doesn't like much. She's a real sea world. No Becker what do you got? Nothing. I haven't been doing anything. I've been going to Appointments and hanging out. You should go to ointments. Getting poked and prodded. Poked and prodded. It sucks. But hopefully they're figuring shit out.

Because they think that you're 100% that bitch. Isn't that what the results said? Yeah, they're afraid I've got the full Lizzo. Well, it's crazy that a man who smokes 40 cigarettes a day, smokes just a bunch of butane, you know, not even hash anymore. You're just huffing butane fumes and subsists on a diet of Ecto-coolers and pop tarts might have some strange ailment. I haven't had a pop tart in like over six months You know exactly how many days? Yeah, yeah, there's a bunch of tally marks on the wall.

They're carved in with your finger now days until I can be happy again. He's a castaway in his own home. Cast iron stove. Yeah. Watch wide world. It rules. Yeah. Everyone knows that though, you know, drive those numbers up guys, get over there, commit to the bit bit say this is the best show ever We love it It's more spud. You know I read the comments. I see what's going on down there. I'm not gonna pay Pat for this one It's what about the arm what about the patreon the wide world patreon ours yeah, no join chubby bechevy Patreon comm slash chubby behemoth has everything you need right there. There's almost as many Patreon episodes as free ones. We started the Patreon almost immediately.

And so there's a cash grab during COVID. There's like four years worth of episodes. If you want more chubby behemoth and on top of more wide world, we don't say C world on those episodes. go to patreon and get more chubby be yeah Some of the best ones are in there not not by design We don't purposely put the best ones in there But just as as as time has gone by some of the best ones are up in there Well, you we usually do too and then whichever one is more inflammatory becomes the patreon episode a lot of times Yeah, the whatever one might be naughtier, but sometimes it's just hey We already did the free one. This one's the patreon and then that one is really really funny

And maybe sometimes on the free ones we name names, you know, yeah sure. Yeah, there's but hey there We're just goofing around Lunds said a lot of bad stuff online publicly. So don't look that up and then also Shit, Morgantown, West Virginia, Pittsburgh, Detroit, Dublin, Amsterdam, maybe Ghent. And then Rome. I'm coming. We're doing shows there. Come out, buy the ticket, take the damn ride. I am,

I shouldn't have taken a day off smoking weed, I guess. Oh yeah. If you live in Italy and smoke weed, maybe message me on Instagram. Oh yeah. That'd be cool. Although you're just going to come over there with like eight pens taped to your body, right? I don't know. Why not? I don't read. I just, that seems like a stupid reason. I'm coming from Amsterdam. Oh, okay. I'm coming direct from load up. Yeah. Showed out. Dump your backpack, dump your clothes into a canal. I think we'll build and then put weed in there

I don't think they have hash in Rome. I Really yeah, well they have live rosin probably not that's all I smoke Moroccan. Oh What's the name of that company we want to give us money? God damn it. Edible boys. Dialed in. Dialed in. Hand it over. I'm high on that shit.

I want to get a little taste of the money bad now. You don't like that guy? Swamp guy. Swamp guy come out the swamp because he want to get a little high. I've been eating too much snapping turtle down there in the bayou. That only get me high about a quarter of time so I want some of that dial in now shall in the summertime mongo oh boy