Chubby Behemoth - Dog Central

Episode Date: September 17, 2023

Get 50% off of Factor & support the show at https://www.factormeals.com/CHUBBY50 & use code CHUBBY50   Garrett. Adult Friends. Adam Eget.    Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth   Extra episodes at Patreon.com/chubbybehemoth

Yes. Very professional situation. This is great. So we're coming to you live from Adam Egott's apartment here in beautiful Austin. 32 floors up. Yeah. Should we give the exact address? Absolutely not.

No? There's so many fans out there. No, no, no. They wanna come in here. No. Get to know you and your dog. Oh, no. Yeah. I just did a hilarious series of dances for your dog.

Oh, that's sweet. I remember. It was great. Yeah. She loved it. She did not. She went into some kind of like. Yeah.

Yeah. So here we have Dice down here. Hey, Dice. Uh-oh. All right. She has to be in your bed. Oh, she's over it? God damn it.

I was hitting her with the surf stuff. You look like a fool. No. Quit setting me up to fail. God. You've been nothing but derisive towards me in front of my friends. Remember when I told you about my breakfast? Oh, yeah. Tell the folks at home.

I don't want to. I told Adam, I said, oh, he was like, how was your day? After a long embrace, a big hug that we share with each other. And I said, I had a croissant. Yes. And then you just lambasted me.

And so did David Borey. You and David Borey bonded over that. Yeah, that was the best. Yeah. I love him. He's great. Yeah, he's my new best friend. What? I'm sorry.

What about me? Did you hear the way you pronounced croissant? I had a good run. I thought we were in. I can't be friends with someone that pronounces it that way. Well, how do you say it? Croissant. Croissant.

Yeah, I'm Adam Egan. The first thing that happens when you walk in my apartment, I make you read this article about me on the wall. You know what? This is the first time I realize that isn't how I sound.

I'm Adam Egan. All right, take it back. You're right, it doesn't feel good. Who's your new best friend, then? You are. All right, good. Yeah, so Adam and I have... It's weird as an adult. Yeah, we and I have... It's weird as an adult.

Yeah, we were saying that. It's strange as an adult to make a new friend that you think about. And obviously what's odd for me, Adam, and stop me, all right? Stop me if I'm buttering up your croissant. Stop you if you've heard this one before. Oh, God. Please don't riff with our infrastructure. This is all a delicate system that we're trying to maintain here.

Is it working? Oh, yes. We're good. Oh, damn it. So, oh, yeah. Crap. I've known you. I've known you via the Norm MacDonald podcast.

Yeah, that's so strange. It is odd And I told you The other day Which I think Rattled The very Chambers of your heart

That I think If you were Martin Mull Who were the best Straight men In the history of comedy And I don't mean that As like non-homosexuals No

No I know You didn't And yeah I'm terrible With compliments But thank you Yeah Because I loved Fernwood Tonight Oh I was the best Me and my duddy No, I know you didn't And yeah, I'm terrible with compliments But thank you Yeah, because I loved Fernwood Tonight Oh, I was the best

Me and my daddy used to watch Fernwood Tonight all the time Well, we did discuss that at great length When we first, you know, started The feeling out process Yeah, exactly When I was storming Yeah, when we were trying to figure out Just exactly whose name should be

On the final list Huh? Shouldn't Shouldn't bring that up here Oh yes Oh right When we met Tim Dillon

Took me into Tim Or to Joe Joe Rogan That's how you say it Yeah Took me into Joe Rogan's Nascent comedy club Before it opened

And I met you And I was so nervous And I shook Joe Rogan's hand Like this When I first met him Oh I recall Remember this? Yeah nascent comedy club before it opened and i met you and i was so nervous and i shook joe rogan's hand like this when i first i recall remember this yeah he like ate my fingers that's not where i met you where did we meet it was uh the paramount theater i was that the first time though yeah with spade i think so it was when tim Dillon was at the Paramount and I opened. Okay. Yeah.

I was so nervous that night. It's a beautiful theater. Not about the show. I'm the best in the business. Yeah, you are. All right. I'm talking about meeting you, meeting David Spade. That's so bizarre to me.

I mean, yeah, Spade's great, obviously. Yeah, but who cares? That's so weird, man. Spade doesn't care about a new fat guy. He had a great fat guy i had no idea i mean i was i was close with tim and i always you know i obviously revere him and i think that he must have impeccable taste if he brought you on and uh and then you handed me that book and you said the kindest things to me and i thought you were a sweetheart and then i read the book and then we truly it's a great fitting hat that really I read the book, and then we truly – it's a great fitting hat.

It really looks great on you. And then we really got to know each other. It's going to be Spunky Neumeier. I'm telling newspapers, Mr. Egan. You want to watch me eat a Popsicle? It's $5. $5. Old man Jefferson down the street, I eat so many Popsicles for him.

Old man Jefferson down the street, I eat so many popsicles for him. Watch me. Watch me eat this popsicle. This is insane. We first fell in love at Las Vegas. Oh, dude. That was where our real courtship began. Yes. Yes.

That was so much fun. The fun times at Dick's Last's last resort so many fun times there oh man did we laugh dude dicks was fucked i felt so bad for those like 23 year old servers who were like well i'm kind of sassy yeah i know what i'm gonna do i'm gonna go work at dick's last resort and call people fat and then it's like all of the Philadelphia contingency from skank fest there to watch the Eagles game. Just this like fucking swarm of locusts descend. Yeah. Some of the meanest, nastiest, funniest people in the world.

Yeah. It was the best. You and Shane. Big J not to be bothered. Yeah. Yeah. It was the best. Yeah.

And we were, we were doing some bits with the kids. Yeah. That was the most fun I think I've ever had to this day. So much fun. Yeah. Just being like most fun I think I've ever had to this day. So much fun, dude. Yeah. Just being like, this guy's black. Get him.

He's black and fat. There's a big fat guy. I bet he wants to eat something. That was great. And them just being like, oh, no. Who are these?

Who are these unwashed beasts? These brooms of descendants. They're going to taste of their own medicine, Sam. I know. How long have they been dishing it out? They've going to taste to their own medicine, Sam. I know. How long have they been dishing it out?

They've had it too easy for too long. Yeah, no shit. I know. We gambled. Boy, did we gamble. Yeah, boy, we did. I had to do Ari's show

so I didn't get there in time for that fucking Jets bet of the century. That was the most fun I've had watching a bet come in. Yeah. Ever. Because it was before, yeah,

it was like, no one was, I mean, I guess, they still didn't necessarily believe in it. This is boring, but it was a great bet. No,

it's not. I think people like to hear the inner workings of a comedy genius and his new friend, Alan. Remember that great character I did where I was a little boy?

That was the best. Yeah. Timmy, I think? Something. At least that's the thing about working in the moment the moment was then

I get so fucking nervous for these things dude why you're beloved yeah bro you're beloved oh my god this was so insane about you yeah

you're just this little like type guy and it's like I'm a Chinaman yes you're a railroad worker you're all you're all lost

to the hot pipe yeah you're laying on your side you're on a velvet pillow a woman on a leash brings you a new pipe should we talk about our other great love oh my god yes it's not just sports gambling uh dude Uh, dude. We've had so many wacky fun times here. Uh, fuck. So, Adam frequents a restaurant here in Austin. Yeah. We won't give it out. No, not a lot.

But it's a nice restaurant. Um, generally revered by the locals here. Absolutely. Yeah, and it's a good place to get a cut of meat. Yeah. And Adam took me there last time I was locals here. Absolutely. Yeah, and it's a good place to get a cut of meat. Yeah. And Adam took me there last time I was in town. Yes. Well, hold on, real quick.

I just want to talk about this. This guy, we text each other his catchphrases. Yes. The waiter. Yes. Garrett. Oh! Is that his name?

Well, just in case. Just in case what? It's too late now No that's fine I don't want to end up on his I feel like we've done so much to avoid his Kill list I feel like this could easily

Get us put right back to the top But that's fine We're not going to be on the kill list because we're not sex workers No we do That's his MO We genuinely loved him Yeah, he's a character. We're not going to be on the kill list because we're not sex workers. No, we do. That's his MO. We genuinely loved him. Oh, I still do. Yeah, I still do too.

Despite the events of Tuesday. Yeah, but it was like, I remember I took Greg Fitzsimmons there. I took Shane and Ari and Mark there. And always in the hopes of, and I specifically request to be served by this. It says in the notes for you as a client of the restaurant, prefers to be seated in Garrett's section. Yeah. I don't think we're giving away too much. I don't think they're going to find Garrett and be like, hey, you were on Chubby B. Emit. Yeah, right.

Can you do your bit for us? So the first time we went there, we were having a very intimate conversation. Really fucking full speed ahead into this new friendship and you were spilling your guts you know and uh and it was it was very heavy stuff yeah yeah and then during the apex of uh of that very candid moment garrett pops out from behind a pillar and says gentlemen your, your anecdotes amuse me. It's like, Garrett, how long have you been back there? What the fuck?

What the fuck, Garrett? Why are you eavesdropping? This man's almost crying. I heard everything. I'm holding his hand. Yeah, exactly. And then he just slides a piece of paper with a number written on it and a bank account. I think this should suffice.

Yes, I have. All of the bodies. All the s should suffice. Yes, I have. All of the bodies. All the sordid details. Yes, yeah. My work here is done. Smoke bomb disappears. Yeah, he's a real character. I don't know how else to describe him.

Five foot six. Yeah. Gaunt face. Hollow cheeks. Yes. Gentleman magician's goatee. Right. Severe pulled back ponytail. Yeah, incredibly. Yes. Gentleman magician's goatee. Right. Severe pulled back ponytail.

Yeah, incredibly. Yes, great hairline. It looks like it's painted on. Yeah, it looks like something Jim Henson would create. Totally. Which makes sense based on his impressions that he did. You said it best too. I think you called him an out-of-work puppeteer.

Yes, for sure. And he reeks like cigs yes you can tell that he he just lives on like uh creme de menthe and cigarettes that's all that's getting him through he has like uh kind of like maybe had been exploited in prison vibes to him definitely like i bet if someone drops a bunch of silverware he flinches i could see that you know what i of course. Yes. And I think he's no stranger to the Chinaman's Dilemma. No. I think he wears those long-sleeved shirts for a reason. I think so, too.

Yeah. He definitely has a lot of track marks. Right. Yeah, and a long track record. Yeah. Of anti-Semitism. So, yes. So that took me by surprise at first.

Because it was always just, oh, that's Garrett. Oh, that's Garrett. That's a Garrett. Yeah. But just a lot of like, yeah, the way he speaks and his. Well, he comes up to the table and he says like, salutations, mein Freund. Yeah. You know?

Yes. He's a funny talker. He talks funny. And you can tell that he doesn't get to do a lot of his best bits for most of the clientele. Until. Yes. Until we. I think he felt a little perhaps too comfortable with us. I think he found some kindred souls in us.

Oh. Yeah. Well, then I have to take a long, hard, deep look at myself. You need to do an inventory. Yeah. Why did he feel so comfortable with. Anyway. Yeah.

Well, we get in there and we sit down. Oh, cool. Garrett. I mean, I'm just giddy to not only be with you, but to have Garrett again. I was thrilled. I forgot I requested him. I requested him one time, and he made it known that, well, they take good care of their customers and they take notes. If you request me once, you request me a thousand times.

Everything on my menu is something I would gladly sup upon. Whether it was the queen of Sheba or the prince of Siam, anyone would be lucky to have my vittles chewed and masticated and turned to a bolus, which takes down to their tummy, and then

mixed with chyme becomes shit. That's what we all are in the long run, gentlemen. Don't forget, we'll be mud one day. That's literally like, I mean, this is being hyperbolic, but I don't think it's too far off. We really let him run. It's only Garrett or Jason. Yes, yeah.

There's no doubt. If Garrett showed up to a casting, those would be the lines that he would read instead of the script. Yeah, he wrote them himself, absolutely. I would like to read from a different piece by a maligned, forgotten master of the modern wordcraft, Garrett. What's your name again?

Oh, indeed. It is I. But he, yeah, he opened with the most derivative and fourth grade playground Holocaust jokes. Right. And it wasn't like we were like talking about the Holocaust or even Germany. Yeah. It was really out of left field. Yeah.

It was very, it was, it was, it was, I'm on this carnivore diet. What kind of steak? Yeah. Which kind of meat do you prefer? I'd like a steak. And it was, well, I would recommend the porterhouse. Also, my grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell out of one of the guard towers.

It was just, you know. Well, you're actually burying the lead. Somehow he went from, oh, the porterhouse, a house. Houses usually have garages. You can park a car in a garage. You know how many Jews you can fit in a Volkswagen? I don't know the logic that got him there, but out of nowhere, he hits us with the, do you know how many Jews you can fit in a Volkswagen?

No, Garrett. How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen? One in all four seats and then the rest in the ashtray. No, Garrett. Come on, man. And then he has like a little bit of like, he like rocks with delight. Oh, yeah. Then you were like, he's Jewish.

Yeah. And he was like, hey, my grandfather died in the Holocaust. Oh, okay. He's a kindred spirit. Well, he fell out of a guard tent. Oh, Garrett, you got me again, you son of a bitch. What a rascal. And he's like, yeah, it's all coming together for Garrett. Reel them in. They're putty in your hands, Garrett. And yeah, he would break in with, oh, and then the guy who

brought out the steaks was a black guy. A black fellow? And you asked, he left, and you asked Garrett, could I have a side of mustard and ketchup for your hamburger? Yeah. And Garrett made it, oh. Well, you describe what he did. Well, didn't he say, hmm, some people don't know how to do their jobs correctly. And it's like, oh, not some people, Garrett.

I think you know, yeah. We never really met. Well, we found out exactly because that was a little breadcrumb to the house that he burnt to the ground at the very end of the meal. Because you eat your steak. I watch you eat your steak. I'm just rock hard underneath the table My hands glancing off the shaft of my cock As you're over there

Yeah I ate it quick Oh you crushed it The last time we were there you got a cheeseburger And it was like fucking watching Michael J. Fox My shirt had a cheeseburger Yeah you were like Are you okay? I look like Garfield eating a lasagna

Yeah at 11.59 on Sunday night. Because it's about to be Monday. And there's no lasagnas on Monday. Yeah, you were fucking spazzing over there. So you got steak this time. You crushed it. You did a good job. Got it all in.

Thank you. I tend to eat a lot and very quickly. I was just so happy to see you get it in your mouth. Yeah, it worked out this time. Because it was crazy, dude I wasn't going to make the same mistake twice Thank you, yeah No handheld meats in front of me again

Well, you know, I learn from my mistakes Unlike Garrett Because after we get I order a cup of coffee And he says, oh yes, coffee They drink that all over this big beautiful world of ours Where do you lay your head at night, typically? What region of this vast continent do you call home, monseigneur?

What do you do for coin around those parts? Yeah, yeah, what keeps your wallet fat and happy? And I was like, well, I'm from Colorado, and you say... He's a comedian. He's a comedian, yeah. He's just eyes gleaming. And I say like, I'm from Colorado. And you say. He's a comedian. He's a comedian. Yeah. Just eyes gleaming. And I say immediately. And he books a comedy club here.

It's just like fucking chemical warfare. Mutually assured destruction at that point. Two light bulbs. Yes. We actually saw two light bulbs appear over his head. I've never seen that before. It was fucking outlandish. Bro.

But it happened. As you can attest to. You witnessed it. i was beholden to it's crazy yes and his one eye bing the other eye bing and then comedian a jester you say a bouffant well in that case do you guys like do you enjoy jokes gentlemen and we're like garrett you've been killing all day. Of course. Remember he did a joke about Gandhi that was a riff on Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious? Oh, yeah.

That one was playful and not really racist. Not at all. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Can't remember the joke, but the punchline was Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious something with halitosis. Because he said he had bad breath. He had bad breath, wore no shoes, was a vegan, and a pacifist.

Yeah. I wish we could reverse engineer that joke. Because I'm sure it was a doozy. It was great. I was like, oh, this is fun. That erases the three attempts at anti-Semitism right to our faces. And then so we tell him, he finds out we're comedians. Oh, jokes, yes.

The international language Like music for the brain. I shall return Gentlemen with props. Yes, so he disappears to the kitchen. We're like, oh this will what's what's gonna happen? Yeah, he does he returns with a napkin Folded into fourths. Yeah a large white napkin big white napkin. Yeah as white as the face of the moon Yeah, right. Yeah, that's prettys. Yeah, a large white napkin. Big white napkin. Yeah. As white as the face of the moon. Yeah. All right? Yeah, it's pretty white.

Yeah, it's pretty white, pal. Yeah. And then a pepper grinder. I don't want a white. We'll tell that later. Your fucking worst joke you've ever pitched to anybody. It's good. It's terrible.

Anyway, he came back with a giant white napkin. And a pepper grinder. That's right. Oh, yes, back with a giant white napkin. And a pepper grinder. That's right. Oh, yes, the pepper grinder was necessary for the joke. Yes, and he's just like, gentlemen? And he lays out the napkin so it's spread open. We're listening. Oh, we have never listened harder.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm fully attuned to the world of Garrett. And he says, what's this? And he grinds pepper all over the four quadrants of the white napkin. Yeah. So now there's just a rain of black pepper flakes. Yeah. He says, what's this?

I'm flummoxed. The Million Man March. So we're like, oh, well, surely it can't be any worse than that. You know, pretty weak attempt. Wrong. Oh, yeah. And he's like the Jack Nicholson. Oh, yeah.

And he's like the Jack Nicholson. You're right. He did look an awful lot like the Jack Nicholson gift from The Departed. He could barely contain himself. Wait till I get a load of the punchline. Yeah, it was brutal. Jack Nicholson, or Garrett probably loves the beginning of The Departed. Oh, yes. That opening soliloquy.

Oh, absolutely. Yeah. So then he picks up the napkin from both sides, creating a crease down the middle. And all the pepper aggregates in the middle into one corridor. Yes. One column, straight column. And he says, and what's this? I thought it would be black cocaine.

I didn't know. No. It's the line for the KFC afterwards. At this point. My head is down. I'm uncomfortably cackling. We are laughing because we don't. It's not that the joke is great.

It's the brazen attitude. He's like, well, these guys surely are the audience for this joke. And then as I peel my eyes away, Garrett's literally going. He can barely contain himself. And I peel my eyes and I look and there's a 70-year-old woman at the next table who happens to be black looking over your shoulder just going, oh, no. Just horrified. And look up. Garrett's like, I shall return with your check.

Yes. Just horrified. This woman heard everything and sees us at the next table just like and garrett zero context yes zero context she doesn't know how nuanced our uh yes flavor of comedy is we know it's bad man it's more just the the the sitcom-esque nature of this exactly so as soon as he walks away i I'm like, we have to go. We have to get out of here, dude. And so we bailed.

And hopefully that woman didn't recognize me or you. Because we're probably doomed. Our big concern is that she's going to complain about Garrett. Yes. That was my biggest fear. Secretly. Right. And then Garrett's going to blame us for when he gets canned. And then what will inevitably follow the canning.

He puts on the world's largest shooting spree known to man. But he's dressed like Kermit the Frog. Yeah. Cause he's like. Oh yeah. He did. He did do a few impressions and they were all Frank Oz impressions. Technically. He did a hell of a. He did. Frank. impressions, and they were all Frank Oz impressions, technically.

He did a hell of a... Frank, I'll be honest, they weren't even great Frank Oz impressions. They were all in his wheelhouse, his self-proclaimed wheelhouse. I think the impression he went, I am Kermit the Frog here. And we were like, okay, all right. And then he was like, Yoda. Which is how I do impressions. All right, but can you do Miss Piggy? There is no Miss Piggy.

There's only Yoda. And you were like, oh, so it's just Frank Oz? That's all you can do? And then he did, how did he cover? He did snaggle puts.? He did snagglepuss. Oh, yeah. He did do snagglepuss. He can never go wrong with a good snagglepuss, though.

Arguably the best, yeah. Oh, man. So that was our night with Garrett. Can you do anything that aren't animated characters or puppets? Yeah. I can do the guy that worked at the front desk at the prison and trading places. That's Frank Oz!

It is? What a great deep cut. So, you know, man. If Garrett does get fired, we're for sure getting... He's taking the lid off that lipstick and beshemming us. Yeah, that's what I thought. Right back on the list, yeah. But it could be a problem for us.

It probably won't be. Yeah, I'm not going to, well, I'm not going there. He has your credit card information. Fuck. He can trace that right back to here. Fuck, no good deed goes unpunished. I should have let you pay. Yeah, and you're going to be out there walking your dog

doing your favorite bit. Oh, Dog Central? Yeah. Tell that story. What else? I don't know if that would work on a... I get...

Well, there's a street... You'd be surprised what works. Yeah, okay. There's a street where my apartment where I reside and it's a nice

little street with many restaurants and cafes and such. It's proper and active. Yeah, sure. And on every corner, there are a couple people in orange, you know, highway worker vests,

the construction vests. Trying to get you to donate. Trying to get you to sign a petition for Planned Parenthood or, you know, whatever, Amnesty International. Whatever bullshit the fucking chicks are into these days. Yeah, yeah. And me, I'm walking along with four other comics who were in town.

I think it was like Shane Gillis and Ari Shaffir and the usual suspects. Tony Hinchcliffe. Yeah, Tony was there. And I'm walking my dog uh to go eat at a restaurant down there we pass we we see in the distance there's a couple of these folks in the orange vest and as i approach on the other side of them about a block or two down there is another person walking a single dog at least 70 yards away. At least 70. A good football field and a half away. If you squint, you could make out a person walking a dog.

A single dog. And as we approach, the man in the orange vest goes up to, unbeknownst to him, five comics. Five of the funniest people. Yeah. And he says to us, what is this, Dog Central? And we laugh so hard. right in his fucking face. He thinks he's killing, but in actuality, he's like, what is this, Dog Central? Hey, moment of your time if I could, gentlemen.

And we're just crying laughing as we walk past him and do not bring it up other than to laugh in the space So I think to this day he still thinks man. Did they get a kick out of I must be so funny Yes, he's gonna go and do the dog It would kill on kilton on for for Tony. Oh, yeah, always bring that up. That was one of my greatest moments Yeah, dog central got me real good. Yeah, Dog Central was good. I did use it on another guy who we came across. You sent me a picture. Oh, yeah, when we were walking with Jake Becker, who's not here because he had to fly home on Saturday afternoon for some reason.

Yeah, a guy came with a dog, and I hear you from behind me. What is this, Dog Central? All right. And me and Becker, of course. He scowled at me and hurried away. Yes. Hey, everybody. Celebrate the new season with delicious meals that take two minutes and practically zero effort.

Factor, America's number one ready-to-eat meal kit, helps you fuel up with chef-prepared, diet prepared dietitian approved meals delivered straight to your door. You'll save time, eat well and stay on track with your healthy lifestyle. You can choose from over 34 weekly meal options that are fresh, never frozen. You can even level up their gourmet plus options with premium ingredients like leaks,

truffle batter and asparagus. If lunchtimes are hectic factor has you covered there to keep your energy up with lunch to go meals, and asparagus. If lunchtimes are hectic, Factor has you covered there too. Keep your energy up with lunch-to-go meals. No microwave required. They're ready whenever you are. Head to factormeals.com slash chubby50 and use the code chubby50 to get 50% off. That's code chubby50 at factormeals.com slash chubby50 to get 50% off.

Bow down to Factor. That's the kind of fun we have down here in Austin. It was fun. We had a lot of laughs this week. Oh, dude. I'm so glad you were here. I really missed you. I miss you as well. I always do. I'll be establishing residency here. I hope so. I think I'm going to move into Kim Congdon's

building. Oh, okay. Because it's like $1,400 for like a Murphy Bed studio Congdon's building. Oh, okay. Because it's like $1,400 for a Murphy bed studio. That's phenomenal. That's fantastic. That's perfect for part-time living. I can walk her home. Yeah, you can make that up in a week. I mean, dude, you guys are so generous with the pay here.

Oh, you're just incredibly generous. Yeah, it's crazy he's i always said when he when he bought the club it was like it was almost like um brewster's millions or or i don't know if you've seen brewster's millions but richard prior when he's like you have to spend this amount of money in like a week or a day 48 hours and it's like he was a ball player and it's like it's like all the things that like if a hobo you know someone were a poor comic was always like ah if i ever won the lottery we do this and we do that yeah it's all bullshit they would just go buy a fucking golden a house made of gold and yeah of course go and never talk to their their close friends ever again kind of three million dollar apartment yeah yeah and joe did exactly that he

kept his word he's like i'm gonna build the best comedy club in the world and treat all the comics well and i don't see make them all rich i don't think anyone like behind the scenes anyone who has like percentage shares is making any money like can you imagine having a percentage share in that club no god yeah that was what a foolish endeavor that yeah that would be dumb Golly, that's your plan? Have maybe, I don't know, 5% of that club? Any good bets this week? We can't find a bookie.

Yeah, we can't find a bookie. Tell them about the joke you keep pitching Ron White. Well, I keep asking. Ron's been at the club. He opened for my show on Wednesday. He is so sweet to me. It's really cool, because I've known Ron forever. But for him to like kind of anoint me with his like blessing is huge in that green room.

Yeah. It cuts through the crap of everything, you know. And how great does he look? He lost so much weight when he stopped drinking. He looks like, it's like Nick Nolte playing Antonio Banderas in a movie or something. It's fucking wild. He's like swarthy somehow. Yeah.

There's like a Mediterranean hue to his skin now. Very suave. Yeah. He's a suave motherfucker. He's so cool. Yeah. He doesn't drink anymore. Yeah.

He just comes in there, lights a $150 cigar, takes two puffs, forgets it's lit. Yeah. You know, doesn't know where he is. No. Keeps asking for his nurse, you know. He's doing great. No, so Ron rules. But I want Ron to try a joke.

At least try it. Well, let's hear it. Okay. So I'll do my best Ron way right now. Yeah. Now, whenever I want to ejaculatize with my old lady, I preface it by telling her, Ronnie won a white. So I pitch that to him. How does that go?

It's him going, I don't understand the comedic intent of what you just posited to me, young man. No, you should sound like Garrett doing an impression. It's Garrett doing Ron White. Well, no, Garrett doing Ron White would be, I don't understand the comedic intent. It's Kermit doing Ron White. Oh, my God. What kind of fucking Inception shit is this?

It's too many layers. What is this yeah it's too many layers what is this oh my brain hurts I hate meta so yeah I keep pitching this to

Ron and the ears couldn't be deafer that it falls upon and then you keep bringing it up

it would work Ron did that it was like when Tony kept pitching us that I kept making Tony tell people his bit he kept trying to do about Madea. The Madea bit.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, and you told me the first night. Tuesday night you were like, yes, Tony just did. He was bombing or whatever in the little room. It was a fucking awful crowd. They were being terrible. Sure, and you yelled out, do the Madea bit. And then he does the Madea bit

and then there's more silence and then I just from the back of my room just go dude it was great we had a good laugh

with that bro your timing is like Simpsons-esque it's like Dana Gould oh that's sweet you just have you're so fucking funny

and it's so funny to see you surrounded by people who, I mean, the green room obviously is packed with legends, sincerely. Yeah. But then there's a lot of young comics running around in there and watching the open mic with you. Oh, yeah. Oh my God.

That's fun. Is there a bigger joy? I hate watching it alone, but when it's with someone else, I always text people, I'll send them clips or premises. It's so crazy how many, it's just the same fucking thing over and over again. Yeah. It's baffling. What's opened my comedy?

Dating is weird. I get it. But it's crazy. Yeah. I love, oh yeah, we planted it out. Shit's crazy. Yeah. I love, oh yeah, we planted it out. Shit's crazy. That's a good one that keeps popping up. Yeah, that's a new go-to.

Man, shit's crazy. What else is going on? And there's some real fun names. Oh, yeah. Sam from Thailand or whatever. Yeah, you were like, we miss Sam from Thailand. Or whatever Yeah you were like We miss Sam from Thailand Yeah

He was number two On the list Yes There was one the other day It was like Something something Half a person No

And he didn't have Yeah he He didn't have any legs What? Yeah He was a stuntman? Did he get up there On a skateboard?

No What did Mitch Burrow Just like pick him up and plop him? No, I think he did the gorilla thing. Yeah, it was wild. Another guy, he spent his entire set. Actually, he went two minutes over. He ran the light by two minutes

because he did Poison by Belle Bib DeVoe in its entirety and he lip synced with a pooper scooper. So he brought a boombox. So he couldn't even play them offstage, which was kind of brilliant, to bring his own boombox. Twice a gambit. Turned it up. Yeah.

And he just stood there and then had a pooper scooper and then did the pooper scooper to the microphone. To poison. Poison on the pooper scooper to the microphone. To poison. Poison on the boombox. Wow. So you're really creating this culture of genius comedy over there. I disagree. I think that you're literally the tip of the sword for the modern day poets and pundits.

Yeah. You're going to fall on your sword? Yeah. I don't like it. I hope that you never self harm. But if you do, I, Oh,

I, it's in the back of the room during Holtzman set. I always said if I ever kill myself, I would, I would blow my brains out in the back of the open mic. Cause that would be great. And whoever, whoever's on stage in that moment,

would immediately make the podcast round. I think that would be great if i were if i ever had the balls to do it that's how i would do it yes for sure i hope you never get hey i'm i'm i'm half this and half that so i look a bit like this and a bit like that that would be great dating's weird that explodes well Adam's dead

Holtzman's riffing on it right away yeah he would yeah he doesn't care dude I just found out about Brian Holtzman live I've seen clips of his or whatever, because I saw him at Skank Fest dressed like a genie. Oh, yeah. And after I left, people were like,

oh, that was Brian Holtzman. You ever seen him? And I've watched some clips. But man, him live is quite the scene, baby. It's a real experience. Yeah. He's the best. I love him.

I do, too. And I described it this way, because Brent Gill was like, yeah, I've seen him at the OR a lot back in the day in LA when he was at the Comedy Store. He's like, it's fun to see him here. He's really like being embraced here. And I was like, I think Brian Holtzman's kind of like Jack White playing guitar. Because clearly Jack White can fucking rip on guitar.

You know, like he's an accomplished guitarist. But he decided in the White Stripes to do like primitive, like monks s yes sonics s rock and roll so obviously holtzman has been doing it for a hundred years yeah and he clearly can do stand-up in the traditional sense but now he's done diverted it back to this like primordial like almost uh six month open micro premises but done with a plomb yeah that's beautiful yes you know what i mean yeah you're absolutely right yeah perfectly encapsulates his entire essence it's like an andy kaufman-esque situation a little bit yes i think you're right um he is he's stripped it down to its core i think that he was so frustrated pushing the envelope. And then, especially as times continue to change and people became more and more woke

and audiences were more and more afraid to laugh at some of the bits he was trying, that he finally just said, fuck this. I'm just going to go all in. Yeah. And just be so fucking crazy. And he takes all the chances. He does. and just be so fucking crazy. He takes all the chances.

He does. There's almost like a violence to it, which is exciting to watch. Yeah. It's very assaultive, but he does it in a way where it's not over the line. Because you can tell that he's doing a version. It's 40 chess.

It's that kind of thing yeah right I mean we're talking a lot about a manager's kids up there and sometimes yell slurs and stuff but my favorite thing was when he's he's dressed like a cartoon character pants are like half of his body some kind of flamboyant crazy shirt wicked mustache you know and it's when people push back, he'll go like, oh, yeah, take me seriously. Look at me. Look at me. It's so true.

I'll show you after the part. His hair looks exactly like Gary Oldman as Bram Stoker's Dracula. Oh, yeah. But I took a side-by-side photo. I'll send it to you. Yes, you sent me a great clip of his from the back. Oh, yeah. But I took a side-by-side photo. I'll send it to you. Yes, you sent me a great clip of his from the back. Oh, yeah. He's good.

God, he must have a real special reserve of, like, comedy treats. Yeah. I've taken some good ones over the years. Sure. Brody and... Yeah, Brody. I would always put Brody at the end of the show.

Either Brody... I would switch off between Brody and Holtzman. And they were always my two favorite comics to watch bomb. I love them because it doesn't matter if they kill or they bomb. It's equally hilarious. It's the best to watch. I remember Brody, I did a show in a barn in Iowa. It was curated by this kind of eccentric millionaire's son.

So he brought White reaper out there he brought uh uh the guy from moldy peaches he brought me kyle canane brody stevens um fuck there was another huge oh uh harmar superstar oh yeah it was in this barn like in the middle of a field and all these people drive in from all over the midwest and it's like people camp insane evening of comedy nick thunes there right so anyway uh it was the first time i ever saw brody do like an hour oh and he has his drum and he's in the crowd and people are playing his head and you know it's it was really fucking great yeah uh that's the kind of comedy that excites me rory scoville excites me you know like that kind of stuff uh harites me Rory Scovel excites me Harlan Williams we both have a mutual admiration for Harlan

so I remember Brody because when I went on stage later that evening I played the drum set because I play drums and he was like oh you're a drummer so then we exchanged phone numbers and I receive a bunch of text messages from Brody Stevens of just pictures of drum sets oh wow

so this is very towards the end before he did the only brave thing a bunch of text messages from Brody Stevens of just pictures of drum sets. Oh, wow. That's sweet. So this is very towards the end, before he did the only brave thing. Before he decided to do the only choice man has, in the spirit of Camus, you know? But, due to, like, the timing, I can't remember who I was talking to, but he sent me

a picture that day, before he he did it of a drum set. That day? That day. And then I think relatively soon, within an hour or two hours, whatever happened, happened. Wow. Yes. Did you respond? I don't think so.

Oh, well. I don't think so oh well just saying I would have responded especially knowing God wow you didn't respond how terrible that must have been for him he must have been thinking he probably took that really hard obviously

oh my god it's terrible it's my fault It's all making so much sense You know I cleaned out his apartment I was the one who had to go over there and clean out his apartment Why you? I was very close with him

I've known him since like 1987 We both grew up in Tarzana And he was like the older student I was in the Joe Torre baseball camp Little league And he was like One of the older students Oh my god Yeah I grew up with Brody

That's insane Yeah I have a bunch of I still have a lot of this shit In my trunk I just can't seem to get it Out of there Well luckily

You haven't lost anyone else To be very close to I can't think of anybody I don't think so right No Yeah No all my friends are living Yeah everyone's alive and well Good for me Yeah You don't think so, right? No. Yeah. No, all my friends are living. Yeah, everyone's alive and well.

Good for me. Yeah. You don't have a wake of death behind you. No. Do you remember the other, last time we were hanging out in front with Tracy and the bartenders? Yeah. And we had our arms around each other and you were like, yeah, this is Sam. He's my new best friend.

And I was like, hold on a minute. I heard about what happened to your last best friend. Let's bump the brakes on that. Shut up. Just drink this glass of blood cancer. It's a new shot I've come up with. It's great.

Obviously, this is the two-year anniversary of definitely my favorite comedian. I never met him in any way. Oh, I thought it was the two-year anniversary of the ten-year anniversary of 9-11. No, no. You know what's weird is Norm, when he passed, it was the 14th of september my mom died on 9-11 oh and i didn't tell anyone about it i just champed it you know i don't want to be one of these people exploiting the death of uh of my mother online for like pity likes or whatever yeah i mean i think that's very strange to immediately post about a loved one passing um so when so no one knew my mom was dead really besides my family not even

everyone in the family we kind of kept it under wraps i'm kidding um so but on when norm passed people were messaging me and i'm just ripped in half by the loss of my mother and they're like hey man so sorry about norm and i kind of had to be like oh yeah man that guy i never met i'm really Oh, yeah, man. That guy I never met. I'm really ripped in half right now. You know? It's like... So, yeah.

He was the man. I'm sure anytime you do a podcast, people just want to talk about Norm. I've been trying to avoid it. No. Anybody. You can... No, when you brought me over here, you said, hey, two rules. Don't fuck my dog.

Don't fuck my dog Don't fuck my dog And you better do a funny dance for her And so far you've lived up to Yeah Hey guys you're missing it Yeah You immediately took me into your bedroom And you said

Entertain the puppy Turn the lights on and off Strobe effect And then yeah You said Oh this is where the magic happens i was like don't say that no i said something far worse yes dice dice come here he's dancing she doesn't she doesn't like me no she doesn't like me she likes you a lot she loves you yeah

yeah she's the only you're the only she loves you i don't know dude we've been to some restaurants together she's stays underneath the table No that's not true The other day Yeah You ordered A side of steak With your steak Oh yeah

You ordered a steak And then a side of steak And the waitress brought it over And you ate all the steak Without giving any to your dog I gave just a piece to my dog A piece yes But she

We all assumed That the side of steak Was for your beloved dog Fuck that And no It was just more She has plenty of treats. I have a whole cabinet full of treats in there.

Those aren't treats. Those are bottle caps. She loves them. She really does. It's crazy. I soak them in pig lard. They're fine. She likes them.

Pig lard. That's my rap name. Oh, that's a great rap name. No, I don't mind if you fucking ask questions about Norm. I don't do a lot of. I've done like podcasts i've done you and james right and christina pete like i go just my closest i know but i after you went on shanes yeah i hit him up and i was like oh that was great dude you really showed a lot of restraint on the norm stuff and he was like i know all i wanted to do is talk about norm yeah i don't know. I mean, yeah, if I was on the other side of, yeah, if I was on the other end of the table and I'm here, I'd want to, I'd certainly rather talk about Norm.

Yeah, but I don't think a lot of people know how funny you are. That's sweet. You know what I mean? And that's up for debate. Yeah, a couple people. Debate with who? You show me someone who doesn't say you're funny, I'll show you someone with two new black eyes. I'll resort to fisticuffs, see?

I'll give them the old punch-ups. Oh, now I do. I just thought they randomly had black eyes. Oh, yeah. Oh, you'd punch them. Yeah, anyone. Oh, that's so sweet. Yeah, yeah.

Thank you. Yeah. Thanks. One for you, one for the mayor. Is that how you fight? Yeah, it's like King Kong. One for you, one for the mayor. Yeah.

I never really, if not good, I've lost every fight I've been in. What do you want to know? I don't know. I don't really want to know much, but you told me that funny story about him and John Travolta. Oh, that was great. Yes.

That's one of my, there's so many, God, I wish, I need to write down all these stories because I feel like over the years, there's been so many anecdotes that I've just forgotten about.

The worst memory, but this one stood out. He said that one year, I think it was probably around Pulp Fiction, I would assume, when Travolta was hosting. At the height of his fame. Yeah. And he said that Travolta was one of the, he said most guest hosts did not come in until the night of the show or whatever and the dress rehearsal. Right. But he said Travolta was very hands-on and wanted to, he went into the writer's room the week before and brought in a ton of his own sketches that he wrote that he wanted to pitch.

Yeah. And they were all excited. And Norm said they were all at least borderline or completely full-blown racist. And he said, so the one he remembered that he recounted to me was, he said there was this one sketch Travolta was pitching where he said, all right, it's a Jewish PI in the vein of Columbo, and his name is Shlomo Pinnypinscher. And he's like, I know you were there on June 21st,

and I can pin the murder on it. Ooh, is that a quarter? And he said the whole writer's room is just mouth agape, shocked, Norm just cackling. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah Penningtacker. Pennypincher. Pennypincher, excuse me. He's not eating the pennies. That'd be insane. Yes, he pinches them. He's not shoving them up his ass. I don't know. Well, hey, there's rewrites. Yeah.

There was a lot of Travolta stories, too, but I don't know. Huh? There's more? Huh? Uh-huh. You told me, because we were together On the anniversary of Norm's death And I think I was the one who reminded you Which was great

Yeah, you always remind me You've reminded me four times on this podcast Yes, yes You said you were going to text his son Oh yeah Remember when you were going to text his son? No Hey, is your dad still dead?

Oh right Hey, just checking in, is your dad still dead? Hey just checking in Is your dad still dead? Yeah Yeah man you're I really envy Just the I mean he was

This is going to sound hyperbolic But I've said before about Norm I feel grateful that we existed In the same time as him A hundred percent You know what I mean? Absolutely Like one of the true iconoclasts, a true literal genius. And people say comedic genius all the time and they throw it around about you know.

Yeah. Darren Carter the party starter. Yeah. I'm not shitting. Midnight Swinger. Yeah who? You ever book Midnight Swinger? No. Oh my god he's huge in the Midwest. Is he a comedy genius? Well, no, but he really sells tickets at like Penguins in Iowa City. Oh, that's a great movie. Dude,

you've never seen the Swinger? No. Midnight Swinger comes out to Thunder. Na, na, na, na. Oh yeah, sure. The lights go on and on.

And then he comes out looking like Brian Setzer. Oh. Just like huge, like Mac Tonight-esque suit. Big pompadour. And then over the course of his set, he slowly strips his clothes off until he gets down. He pretty

much does karaoke and does stuff about like, remember before cell phones, there was a cord on the phone. Yeah. Ladies, you know what I'm talking about. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, of course. There'd be a cord. I'm listening. Yeah, yeah. So you'd be on the phone. Right. Talking to your friends. I recall this. Yeah. And remember ladies

You start playing with that cord You start twisting that cord Yeah Oh dude Ladies would do that Yes And then he pulls A phone out of his like

Jacket with a cord And like Get out Underlines what he just Elucidated Yes Well Anyway

So he just got bumped Yeah Oh fuck And what's his number Uh Yeah that guy sounds great well i'm sure you probably booked him at the tucson improv or whatever at laughs tempe because as you're saying and i'm like i'm pretty sure i do know who that is but norm literally a genius yeah he was always my favorite comic before you know before i knew him and um uh he was my yeah he's my hero he's my

you know like my best friend my hero uh and i feel like a comic i know all the norm lore i've watched every thing that he has ever been saying put out there obviously but there's something i don't know and i'm not trying to ask you where you get your ideas from. Okay. But how did you guys fall into each other's company so firmly? Oh, so I was working at the Tempe Improv, and I met him. And I think the first thing we connected over was it was either poker or faulty towers. But then we had so many shared interests. And it was these interests that I think that – I know I had trouble ever finding people who enjoyed – at that time, the American office wasn't even out yet and enjoyed the office UK as much as he did. So we both were obsessed with that, obsessed with Fawlty Towers,

and obsessed with old film noir movies from like the 40s and 50s in particular. So we would just, he would come over to my apartment when I lived in Tempe, and we would smoke weed and watch, you know, various film noir movies and, you know and Fawlty Tower clips and shit like that. And then we would go play poker all night at this backdoor poker room that we had in Phoenix in this strip shopping center. And, man, I would lose so much money because they were the most random game. And Norm was so good. You played like Raz? Yeah, Raz, Raz Badugi, Kansas City Lowball, Crazy Pineapple, like all that shit.

Crazy Pineapple's a real game? Crazy Pineapple was fun. That one, it's sort of like Texas Hold'em, but you have three hold cards as opposed to two. And so you get to pick the best two on the... Oh, that's fun. It's pretty fun. More options in poker. Yeah, yeah, it's fun.

It's more fun for the player. Yeah. But God, the percentage points you lose, the more cards that come out. Yeah. So you think you have the nuts, and then you're like, oh, I didn't even think about those nuts. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So there's all these poker rooms here i had a nut allergy i would never get the nuts i couldn't i'd die i was broke yeah i lost a lot it must be tough here not being able to sports gamble yeah uh it's it's great too though It must be tough here not being able to sports gamble. Yeah. It's great, too, though. It's because you're so bad at it. I'm addicted to all kinds of stuff.

I don't drink anymore. I don't smoke. I currently don't eat carbs or sugar. Yeah, you're loving that. It's my favorite. You're getting that Nicorette gum in, though. Oh, yeah. I eat a lot of that. Yeah, last night you pulled a graveyard of Nicorette gum capsules out of your pocket

and sprinkled them in the trash. It's like, good God, man. That's a lot of red. You're like Brett Butler. Shut the fuck up. All right. Yeah, I don't know. Have you been to any of these card rooms here?

They have all these poker rooms. Shut up. I'm serious. Don't tell me. Well, I think that it's legal. I think you can play bar poker but then there's like other places that like you can actually do like high roller poker that's like i don't i don't i'm gonna be broke i gamble i have horrible yeah i shouldn't know that i won't tell you that i'm sorry now you got it where are they let's go tonight what time what you don't have to do the parking like i think

it's good it's dog friendly okay actually if you come in with a dog they stake you a thousand chips just out to date what was the funniest when uh todd glassy's before he came out of the closet and he would come through uh tempe yeah when he would headline and he would always you know comics when they come to a new club and they want the local references to for for to tailor their bits yeah yeah what's the main street what's the rival school yeah and he would be like hey what's the name of the what's the like popular like local gay bar everyone knows i'm like oh you mean um yeah manhole yeah yeah where is that again on apache okay is it good on third like thursdays is a busy night parking what's the party they have valet or I remember him

coming out on was it WTF oh yeah oh is that when he came out I feel like he came out on WTF publicly

place to do it sure yeah and it being like a total I don't care like I was like probably it was 2007 or

8 or something I was a young comic and I was like I just want you to do funny bits Todd Glass who cares if you're gay it was a real letdown because the I was a young comic. I was like, I just want you to do funny bits, Todd Glass. Who cares if you're gay? It was a real letdown because the episode was so serious and it wasn't him. Dude, Todd Glass came to the Comedy Works in Denver with the band.

Oh. Yeah. One night he was having a tough set and he turns around. He turns his back on the crowd and he says, If you guys aren't liking it, go ahead and leave. I'll never know. Go ahead. I'm not going to miss you.

When he turns around, 80% of the room left. There's like maybe 50 people left. And the servers are like, what's going on? Everyone walked on their tabs. Oh, no. Yeah. Oh, no. Yes.

So like 80% of the room bailed without paying for anything. Oh, my God. Yes. It was insane. My friends were bart for anything. Oh, my God. Yes. It was insane. My friends were bartending there. They're calling around. They're like, Todd Glass just cost us our entire nut. It was like early show Saturday.

Oh, no. Yeah, it was insane. A mass dine-in dash? Yeah, just a huge exodus that he encouraged. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah, the glass man. I do love that.

That was one of my favorite moments when Norm was just, we had him on the podcast and Norm was just fucked with him relentlessly. I remember he kept trying to get him to smoke weed before the podcast. And then he was like, I'm just going to fuck with him all the time. He's like, how much weed did he smoke? Yeah. But I remember I was like, Todd kept, he kept John Maddening all the jokes. He's like, are you doing this thing where you pretend he doesn't like the Holocaust? And they're like, what's happening here is, you know, he just.

Yeah, boom. Yeah. Let me ask you this. And again, this is very pedantic and probably boring for you. Was there ever a guest on that show that, because obviously all those guests were awesome. But then you get into the Netflix show. They were? that, because obviously all those guests were awesome, but then you get into the Netflix show.

They were? Well, yeah, because I feel like I can't think of one who really didn't get it besides that kid who was on the Big Bang Theory. That was the first that came to mind. Right, yeah. Well, yeah, we had a few guests that really were shoved up our ass by the people at Jash for the release.

They were like, no, he's got, it was like algorithm before algorithm was cool. Right. Like, no, and remember got it. It was like algorithm before algorithm was cool. Right. Like, no. And remember, I think it was still the least watched episode to this day. Yeah, because he looks like he's flinching. You can see him do the math on his career.

Yeah, exactly. Running the binary code of what this word means to his fucking payouts. Yes, exactly. Yeah. So, yeah, there were a lot of those. Obviously, Super Dave is never going to... He gets the jokes. Everyone gets the jokes.

Andy Dick, you know, fucking Swords in the man-grade situation. Well, I don't think we came close to ever topping the first episode. Yeah, Super Dave was the best episode. He was just the perfect. He was the perfect guest. It was...

We didn't know what the fuck we were doing. It was the best. Yeah yeah that was my favorite episode that was that so you guys peaked initially right off the gate oh yeah but then when you have like drew barrymore on the netflix show or as a jane fonda were those easy i don't know because there was a sweetness to jane fonda like norm has that like rakish quality that comes out of him. Well, that's the great thing about Norm is he could do – I think when we – in our first discussions of what we wanted the podcast to be, it was we want to combine the intimacy of – and fascinating one-on-one conversational style of Tom Snyder met with combined with the uh punk

irreverence anarchy and irreverence of early Letterman okay and I think and I think for the most part he nailed that I think we we were able to accomplish a lot of that yeah in the early days and then I think it became way more just tom snyder which was great too at the end of the podcast leading into netflix right and that's what it became which was great too it was yeah i missed i missed a lot of the um uh the envelope pushing raw comedy you know say whatever you want as long as it's funny. That you could do on YouTube. That we could do on YouTube prior to The Reckoning. But then the level of guests that you guys

were able to achieve on that Netflix show. Michael Keaton. Yeah, sure. We were also in the podcast. I think we had bigger guests. We had Seinfeld in the podcast. We had Adam Sandler. But these were all comedians.

Michael Keaton was a comedian at one point. But then he's nominated Seinfeld in the podcast. We had Adam Sandler. We had... But these are all comedians. Yeah. Michael Keaton was a comedian at one point. But then he's like, you know, nominated for Best Actor or maybe wins Best Actor for Birdman.

Yeah, right. Like Jane Fonda is a level of unattainable. Is she doing anyone's show? No, I guess that's true. The fact that she came out for Norm, I'm not besmirching the level.

And like obviously Sandler, much funnier. You know, Seinfeld was great on there. All these people were great on there. But I just remember watching the level And obviously Sandler, much funnier Seinfeld was great on there All these people were great on there But I just remember watching the Netflix show and being like What the fuck, who's casting this? Or are they friends with Norm?

Are they smitten with his genius? It was all Netflix It was quotas And they all had shows to promote on Netflix So it's like Jane Fonda had a couple, I think she had that big, Jane Fonda eats a dozen eggs.

With Lily Tomlin. Yeah. Yeah. And there was, um, who else, but, but honestly,

who else did we fucking have on that? I don't, I frankly don't remember all the guests. Drew Barrymore was insane. Yeah. Yeah. That was great. Yeah.

Um, but she, I think was, came on, agreed to do it to promote one of her shows. Sure. Something to, okay. And then, other than that, we had M. Night Shyamalan.

Yeah. And Chevy, you know. It was great to get Lorne Michaels. That was amazing. But at the end of the day. Chevy episode is, God, he just must realize that Norm is in the highest echelon of comedic talent. Because he was like deferring, you know. Like he allowed himself to be more human on that show.

Not a lot of people that Chevy would do that with. No, for no. I can't think of anybody. Because he's a renowned ass. Absolutely. I remember the early days of Stern. He was one of the worst. When Stuttering John would go and interview people, it was like Chevy.

So it was like before the world knew, just, yeah. Yeah. I loved Chevy, obviously. I mean, Fletch. Yeah. I mean, come on, Fletch. And I loved this person. That house one where they have to reinvigorate the house.

Funny Farm? Funny Farm, yeah. It was great. Yeah, Funny Farm was very underrated. Yeah. You ate all those bull testicles. Yeah, like as a kid, it's like Chevy Chase rules. Vacations, all the vacations, yeah. Yeah, yeah, the vac underrated Yeah You ate all those bull testicles Yeah, like as a kid It's like Chevy Chase rules

Vacation, all the vacations Yeah Yeah, yeah, the vacation It was great Anyway, I'm not And that was just something That I always noticed Was like, man

These people I assume that they were just like Enamored with Norm Yeah, I think most of them were Okay A lot of them were But Netflix also had a hand in it In those bookings, yeah.

I don't think Jane Fonda had a great idea of who Norm was. But it just seemed like he was able to look into her. There's so much eye contact in that episode. I'm telling you. He was so fucking underappreciated as an interviewer. Yeah. He was so good at that. He was so good at so many things.

He missed his calling. Who knew? He was the greatest comic who ever lived so good at so many things He missed his calling Who knew? He was the greatest comic who ever lived in my opinion Agreed But then you read his novel And some of the stuff he wrote for Grantland And you know Everyone who knows him very well Knows what an avid reader

And how truly brilliant he was In so many facets of life But then you read his writing you're like man if he just focused on that good god oh yeah he could have been he could have been one of the greatest literary minds of our lifetime those grantland people forget about those if you're a norm head oh yeah those grantland articles are it's i'm just nuts that they're not posted all the time on the norm subreddit you have to go look for them for some reason

it's like okay if we're all so fucking rapacious to get every bit of norm content why aren't we fucking passing these things around as well that's some of them that's part of the mountaintop for sure that was the precursor to all the Hunter S. Thompson shit from the book

it all started with Grandland well let's, real quick, do you have one Norm story that you would like to tell before we wrap this up? I know there's a whole wealth of them out there floating around your head, and I'm sure you've told a lot of your best nuggets

here and there, but, and I know this is self-indulgent of me, but I was just such a fan of Norm, and now you're a friend. This is not what this podcast has ever been before. I've done more. This is usually just two guys slapping and ticking like we did about Garrett. Yeah, right. I'm sorry to

end it on this kind of like me just greedily extracting. Because when we're hanging out, I don't want to be like, hey dude, tell me about Norm because I enjoy just talking to you and riffing around. Yeah, you're like one of my best friends. I know. And I'm fucking grateful for that.

I love you, man. I love you, too. Yeah. There are some I just don't feel. Yeah. My favorite ones I don't feel I can't share. I'm not asking you to spill the beans or anything. No, no, I know.

But some, it's sad, but most of the ones that I find the absolute funniest, I just can't unfortunately say on camera or write in print. What's a great one, though? I mean, I do love that he said it. A lot of these I think he said. What about a great story about me, then? What's your favorite anecdote you tell about me? I love when we were, I mean, there's so many good ones, but I do love that whole night with Tony

and giving him shit about the Madea joke. I give him so much credit how he just said fucking and kept doing it. He did it like four times and we're in the balcony cackling. That was a great moment. You know what's a fun one? My favorite one with me and you is the first time I toured the comedy club and Joe's saying, yeah, we're gonna

call the rooms Fat Man and Little Boy but I'm worried that we're gonna get some pushback from people who lost people in World War II. And I was like, well, what about the swastika, Joe? Because that theater was the punk room. It was the punk room club.

Yes. And like as far up as you can get, someone must have been pulled up on like a Peter Pan rope system. I have no idea how that happened. Giant white swa just right up there. Yeah. Yeah. That was incredible. And no one noticed the swa somehow.

I don't. Well, yeah, I certainly noticed it. Well, did you notice it before I pointed it out? I can't recall. To that team of investors? Maybe. Okay. Maybe not.

Yeah. No, I think that was the first time. He was probably the first one to point it out. Yes. And Joe looks up and he goes, oh, yeah, that's got to come down. And then just keeps talking. Like, didn't faze him at all well adam you're the man thank you for being on the pod hey uh listeners uh i was sam town of

course lund has covid so he couldn't come down this weekend yeah um fuck i know but uh i'll be in kansas city i'll be in indianapolis i'll be in Des Moines, Tampa Bay, Key West. And then we're coming over to Estonia. We got Bratislava, Budapest, Vienna, Prague, London. Get your tickets for London, please. So cool. God, yeah, I'm in the Leicester Theater in London. Wow.

Yeah, that was a fucking crazy idea. That's unbelievable. It wasn't my idea. Wait, from like a Day in the Life, a Beatles song? I don't know. How many holes to fill the Leicester's... Yeah, hall. Yeah, Leicester.

Whoa. I know. But it's spelled like... L-E-I-C-E-S-T-E-R. It sounds... It looks like Leicester. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway, enjoy the Patreon, of course.

We just had a great episode with Brent Gill. Patreon.com slash Shutter Behemoth. We love you. Adam, you want to say anything? Fuck you. All right. Fuck you too, buddy. Thank you.

All right. Thanks, y'all. Bye. Yay. That was great, man. Dude, I get...