Chubby Behemoth - Woke Up In A Piñata Shell w/ Alec Flynn

Episode Date: September 22, 2024

SPONSOR: Tushy: Support the show and get 10% off your 1st bidet order. Use code CHUBBY at https://www.hellotushy.com/chubby   MyBookie: Use promo code CHUBBY to double your money on your 1st MyBookie deposit. Head to https://www.mybookie.website/CHUBBY   BONUS EPISODES: https://www.Patreon.com/chubbybehemoth   This week Alec Flynn joins the boys and learns about the fun of slime. Nathan used the boxers, teaches the fellas about Bundy, and has a change of heart about Mitch. Alec tells us about his time as a volunteer at the mens club, how to get a mermaids attention, and getting to see comedy planet earth. Sam wants to know the good festival gossip, didn’t want to stunt on them, and tells us what success means to him. Alec tells Mitch how to smush for cash.   Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth   Mutiny Coffee: [e-mail]

You can't you kid couldn't be smaller in frame People keep saying makes them small being down there Okay. Well, welcome to sports guys where we talk about the Olympics. Hey, shut up back there Nathan keep talking for a sec. All right, don't it live right now. It's gruffy Murphy's after the Rockies game We're the sports guys. We talk about sports and dudes Should I try Mike check as well check? No, I got you where I want you. I'm trying to get everybody else to you Sports guys, we talk about sports and dudes. All right. Should I mic check as well? Check, check.

No, I got you where I want you. I'm trying to get everybody else to you. Hi, how are you? We've got Alec Flynn and Alex Price on the show. Welcome. Hey, how are you? We're not going yet. You're still tinkering.

Welcome to sports, dudes. But fuck you. Dude, he is so tall. He's the biggest guy I've ever seen in my life. Tall guy. You know what he reminds me of? You remember that Wolverine movie where he goes to visit his old pals

and one of them's like a boxer? Yeah. That's super strong and he has massive tits. Hey guys, welcome to Chubby Behemoth. The Blob is that guy's name. They call him the Blob. Yeah, Fred Dukes is the man's name. Fred Dukes.

Put some respect on his name. Sorry, shout out to Alex Price, AKA Fred Dukes. I man's name Fred Dukes put some respect on his name. Sorry shout out to Alex Brace aka Fred Dukes I was watching Mitch because I thought he might explode because he couldn't talk about what was happening now Mitch We're so we're in an Airbnb here now Mitch shut up. Mm-hmm Pat join him Grown grown men are talking to us. We are getting picked up on the phone. Mm-hmm Kiss kiss me through the phone, soldier boy. Welcome to Sports Talk where four guys talk about four different sports at the same time for the whole pod. I'll be talking about hockey. I'll be doing crew. What's that?

Rowing? Yeah, rowing. Why is it called crew? I don't know, my butt hurts though. From all the rowing. I've been on that boat all day. Because they're a crew of dudes and they're having fun on the water. Get a little cushion. Yeah. It used to be called squad. You know, most podcasts I go on don't have a, a backup bench that look exactly like most podcasts you go on have 30 listeners and they have a neon sign behind them. It's like, welcome to wayways house. The pods you go on. This is not tick tock adjacent. This is for people who enjoy we're getting finer thing. We're getting nasty right away Well, no, I mean most pods I go on you know, gee whiz when the Morazzarati picks you up and takes you to the helipad It's like what are we gonna do? Yeah, most of my questions are like smash or pass

Yeah, what or wouldn't yeah We're gonna have a grill involved, I am sorry as well. I'm wearing a grill. That's the best time of my life. They can't see. Rob the jewelry store, tell them to make me a grill. So have you ever robbed a grocery store? Have I robbed a grocery store?

Like just small items? Yeah, of course. I mean, honestly, I get scared in that self checkout. I mean, dead serious. Why, that you're gonna be recognized from TikTok? No. Do it, do the nae nae! I just want to finish checking out, please. That's gonna be it for me. I'm

not here to be mean to Alec. Alec is our little friend. He's not little. He's young. He's our young friend. He keeps me tethered to the past. Yes. Reminds me of the future. The future's bright, man. We're all going to be having fun. But yeah, I, in the self checkout, we're going to go back to that. Yeah. Is it going to pay off? Flesh it out. I got nothing, man. Punch it up. All I've been doing is begging to be on this podcast and I got nothing, dude. We're glad to have you buddy. Yeah. Yeah. It's good to be here. It's been fun. I enjoyed playing with slime last night. Yeah, I was gonna say you had a real big laugh Because you put blue Slime on your head and I started the fun with he looks like Squidward and Becker

Slammed at home by saying he looks like handsome Squidward and then you made the face and then you made the face I'll do it for the audience. Yeah, make the face. Well, we need the slime handsome Squidward. Yeah, we'll put it on the patreon I think we should monetize this picture before black Twitter gets a hold of it. Yeah. And they go, damn! Yeah. But yeah, that was awesome. Yo, black, yo, handsome Squidward before GTA 6. Damn.

Here's the thing about slime is like, we all think that we're men. And we all have this schema that we shove ourselves into, you know? And we have these ideas of what our masculinity looks like. but then the slime comes out and that veneer just washes away and we're all just boys having a good time squishing and splishing. It was making fart noises. Yeah, laughing really hard. Yes, it was funny to have the table in the living room covered with flat liquid death cans instead of tall boys or like shot glasses. It's just boxes of wine. It's a different, yeah, different festival compared to 11 years

ago when we were all feral. It was cool to hear you guys constantly be like, imagine being fucked up right now. That would suck. Yeah. That was like very interesting to watch. Like you guys like imagine being drunk. That would be so lame. I'm like what? Yeah, all right. This is this is getting older. I guess and then we're just playing with slime You're having a blast. I'm having a blast and you woke up not sick, bro. I woke up not sick. I woke up great Yeah, dude I was thinking the entire time we're playing with slime all I thought was like man They'd hate it if I just shut just ram this up on the ceiling

Which is go hey guys It would have been great because it would have bounced at a fun angle and also if you threw it into the fan, bro Look, Lunn would have been pissed. I would have loved it Just confetti'd my slime I'd be like yes slime confetti we live in a snow globe Yeah, I don't know that I would have cared. Well, I feel like you probably would have been like, too far, Flynn. Well, then take out your little notebook you have. Plus and minus for Flynn.

Plus and minus. Yeah, the con list. I gotta be at least minus three at this point. Oh, man, you're doing good. You're minus three as far as I'm betting on you to be the future. Look, Flynn, when the allegations for me surface, I'm gonna need you to write an op-ed, okay? Brother, put me on the stand. Put me be the future. Look, Flynn, when the allegations for me surface, I'm gonna need you to write an op-ed. Okay? That's how famous you're gonna be. Put me on the stand.

Put me on the stand. You're gonna be starring in the stand, you're gonna be trash can man. They're gonna be trash can guy? Yeah, they're gonna do a standalone trash can man. I'm in the trash can. Yeah, and you're in there and people are like, is he in there? And then it's kind of like a deal or no deal where you have to have to guess if you're in there and people are like is he in there and then it's kind of like a deal or no deal where you have To guess if you're in the trash can or not the prestige line Yeah, Sam can't stop talking about the prestige it's been a lot. Here's rip one I did know what did we say? I do like what am I supposed to do? You got one? I told you you get one my stomach was gurgling. What am I supposed to do? I don't know not that dude You I'm sorry. Yeah

Sorry Becker earlier took like a big get out of off of his dab rig and while he was blowing out and like throwing Up chakras he farted at the same time It was a cool choreographed move and I was like you get one and you just used it. It's not 330 and you blew your fart I'm trying to help well yeah when you want to fuck here we go what's all so you know it's back grip you got a cup it on the inside there you go you have to create blowing pocket and then penetrate it with two closed fingers hey son Joseph my girlfriend hey you come on well hey Lund's got a little story to tell you about your girlfriend

got a little story to tell you about your girlfriend. Did you do some research? Did you do some extra research? So I was going to go to bed last night. And then I thought, you know, what was that young lady's name again? I would love to support her. Of course, yeah. With a click, with a view. Did you sign up for the OnlyFans?

No. What are you doing? I didn't pay a dime. I went to Pornhub.com. You know who pays for the coffee pay a dime she gets a cut right she gets a check you know who the coffee get I get the cop like that's how I get the paid the coffee paid for I'm dude I can't even speak right now but that's all right you know I swallowed a Zen I've been swallowing Zins all day even gutting Zen know what'll cool you out what little slime thank you there

you go please let me stem yes bring you bring you down. Yeah. So London, I wasn't going to talk about it. Of course you weren't. I did perfect. Thank you. Uh huh. Uh, so well, so the main thing that sucked was this. Oh, I actually anything well, wait, so I tried listen. I don't know if this is helpful or not, but I watched, I watched her with Indica flower as opposed to getting rammed by some dude. I thought this is helpful or not, but I watched her with Indica Flower as opposed to getting rammed by some dude. I thought this is compromise. This is growing up. Yeah. Where's your brain? This is growing up. I'm not fucked up.

I didn't watch her with a guy that looks like me, you know? Yeah, because she doesn't have to do those kinds of movies. There are too many of those. No, we're not. Ron Jeremy's in jail. I'm not represented in porn. Dude. People can be so mean when they run Jeremy thing is like, come on. He's so old and he's a raper. Yup. So he's not that old on raper. So please don't like bring him up. But anyway, yeah. Last night I'm in bed. I'm like, ah, this could be fun. And I was like, I don't

want to go to the bathroom and get toilet paper So I'm just gonna use my boxers. Very nice. I finish in the boxers. It'll be fine. I haven't done it in forever because as I knew and forgot it's a total nightmare, but in the moment I was stoned I was tired and I was like just do it and then like maybe go clean up a little bit and go to bed It'll be better than going and getting toilet paper using it and then cleaning up anyway So I fucking use the boxers and I haven't jacked I haven't blasted in like a week Okay, so it was so much and and I'm wearing like

When I used to do that move it was like boxer briefs.'re absorbent I'm wearing like rayon polyester last night so it goes through the boxers everywhere wait what your operation you were in your undies yeah you were doing this I was using the undies oh and then also blasted into the undies but made an undie egg but they go right through yeah I you big? I'm not gonna shame it. We're on vacation. It's festival time. Everybody's having fun. Look.

I'm not gonna shame him. At the end of the day, could I come out here? Could I say what the F is this? And could I make a big scene? Sure. I'm a delegator. At the end of the day, I want to. Make a big scene, that'd be cool.

Yeah, make a big scene. Wait, am I doing you dirty like Mitch Jones got done dirty? Anyway. No, I mean at least you're honest with me. Also I wasn't going to bring it up on this pod. I was going to do it for the live one tomorrow. For the live one? Well you wouldn't have been a guest.

We can still do the live pod, okay? Fuck yeah, alright. Do it, just be repeater Okay, but no, hey, I didn't even find any nude photos of your girlfriend until you forgot what her name was No, I did not I remember I'm not gonna say your name Yeah, well, she's transitioning out of that and I'm pretty happy for and she's brave. Yeah, she's also I'm staying with her It's it's a cool Also, it's a cool thing. And she's gorgeous. So you're lucky. So it's not like I'm getting one over on you by being alone up there, gross as hell, jacking

it. You know what I mean? It wasn't a fuck you. The more you describe it though, the more it feels like you're getting one over on me. The more you describe it, the more you're just like, no, come on. Listen, if I had to do it in my underwear, you get it. I'm saying I paid for my crimes. I paid for my crimes.

Also, it wasn't a crime. Yeah, you woke up in a piñata shell. It was too much and then the cleanup was awful. I'm rolling around in bed spreading it all over if you took up if you took a black light to them to the sheets We would have to pay double for the Airbnb. Whoa, is this? You're probably the person who christened this place. Oh, yeah Wait last night last night Two nights ago nobody did anything. No, it's awesome. Like hearing stories like this when listening to the podcast. In real life this is a little bit jarring. Did you

jack off the first night? Becker. Yeah. He christened it. God. He got the champagne out and went to the bow of the ship and said good night and good luck. Oh my god. So I this is not what I wanted to achieve. I'm sorry Flynn. You're a lovely girlfriend She's the best dude, and you know what ratified himself to her I don't think I don't think she'll mind cuz it's not really what she does anymore. She's transitioning away She's very talented. You know, she's trying we're trying to get her into oyster shucking Wow. Yeah, so she's got good wrists. Yeah She does Indica was Indica had a good time in this video. All right, who's being taken care of? Her name is Indica flower and she does adult films and she's a woman in a weed costume. She's very pretty

She's got big natties. She's got dreads Yeah, you guys are perverse. What do you why this is our Gianna Michaels you jacket to slime I don't jacket the slime you don't You make your own slime. How do you think I made that cake batter and you make it fart? Yeah I'll tell you what it's used to smell like mint chocolate chip Smells like festival minutes. Oh, it's like hand Smells like your hand salt dude. So Alec Alec is dating a former adult film actress yeah he's living a big bold life I remember when one came in last night and asked you

want to reenact that what remember when you're like so you got a girlfriend huh he's like yeah I'm was like stupid how you had dated someone for five months why would you do something like Joking totally joking. That's that's also like an old thing of masculinity. Well, I mean I'm You're young you live in LA. You should be fucking somebody different every night. No, of course I'm not gonna say that he and I have been with our wives for over a decade each and we love it Yeah, it's not like I'm gonna do that. I never looked like him. I know I'm saying yeah, all right if I had but he's Been single you've right. I'd be single. I've been there done that bought the t-shirts It's same with drinking you you grow up you get over it

We one of the first things we said was how weird we think it is when someone when a guy especially just like stays horny forever It's like grow up this thing is I mean get over it LA all you see is older guys that are like that stays horny forever. It's like grow up. The weirdest thing is like I mean in LA all you see is older guys that are like That are horny. They're just so horny. And alone. And you're like dude this is sad. They want to bang a 25 year old. They want to bang you. I was walking around Denver and like the old men's Italian men's social club that I used to volunteer at. I remember these because speaking of like lighting cigars Yeah, I would like lighting cigars Wipe their asses in the air and I'd say I gotta take care of that thing fresh handkerchief. Mr. Simmons Italian they're all Italian. All right, Ron Simmons

Farouk Farouk asada Asada when you're just, when you're a younger guy in the group around older guys, all they do is just go, you should be fucking pounding ass. What are you doing here? And I'm just like, I don't know, I'm trying to give back to my community.

They're like, go get fucking pussy. It's like every old dude, like your dick's a building and we all want to own a condo in it. Yes, all they want is like just an idea of what could have been or like what they wish they still had. Well here's the thing is I can't imagine the damage that you're capable of because I used to pull off some grand heists and I looked like this only even less more youthful you know. So yeah I just can't imagine like what just what you could do whatever you want. I shoot myself in the

foot more often than not. Just kind of like out of like I'll be with my buddies and I'll be like watch this I'll go up to a girl and I'll be like You wouldn't know about looking at me, but I'm really fast and I'll run out the door the bar If they follow you out then you know, you're gonna go You dropped this but women in LA also like lack a certain amount of personality and humor. So if you look at me, they're just like, that guy just left. He just like ran away. What did he say?

Wait, weird. What did he even say? I can't wait to talk about this on our podcast. Like, bitch go crazy. We should have filmed that. Our podcast. Pussy power xll. Your girlfriend has a podcast? Yeah, she has a podcast. We're not gonna say the name. Why not? It's a good podcast. Yeah, but I don't- you know what I don't want?

I don't want people because I know that they fetishized- I mean they fetishized Becker. It's a really good point. If they get a hand on your sweet little honeypot pot it's gonna be fucking Winnie the Pooh yeah you know what man you're right and mean the Lunds one of your closest allies you look up to him he gratified himself what's stopping these people when he asked me last night like no way what's her name and pulled out his phone at the same time yeah I was like yeah all right I wanted to see what she looks like. And then I watched you do the screenshot grab. I did not. I didn't need to. He got his bifocals on.

It'll do. It'll do until something better shows. Do you have like a promo code or something she shared with you? I'll Venmo her eight bucks or whatever. Venmo her eight dollars caption sorry. That would make me feel better I'll subscribe on YouTube or whatever then I'll bend my seven bucks for a coffee yeah she's the

shit man it's just like being in a relationship I didn't realize it's like very hard because you just have to like listen yeah that's so pretty much the whole thing so talking making them feel heard and you're like but babe I'm going live on twitch like babe about to go windboarding hey me and Augie are doing the hot ship challenge on the tip of the Eiffel Tower yeah she's like she's like Alec we're supposed to go horseback riding and you just throw a bunch of hundred dollar bills at her and you're like hey get someone else in the saddle bitch yeah all up

giving back to me and then video record it then we do it again dude I don't know yeah it's just it's tough because she also like she lives at in a different part of town so like in Denver when you're dating somebody she lived Disneyland. What she live in Disneyland You have to pay $80 For the fans but may or may not you're dating goofy Prince be mermaid Ariel. Yeah She's legless she's in a wheelchair Dude all I know is like I just kept tapping on that fucking glass. Yeah, you go over there with a pocket full of cod What and I'm like

Dr. Evil she didn't get it too young How old are you Flynn 27 27 nice? Yeah. Well nice. Yeah, well she's older than me too. How old is she? 30. Busted. Dusty old fossil. You guys are old as hell, man. I love it. No, Lun's old as hell. No, you guys are all the elder statesmen. All right, you're like Tip O'Neill. You're still just keeping the Congress down check, you know what I'm saying? It's funny that you know who Tip O'Neill is. Tip O'Neill Tunnel're still just keeping the Congress down check. You know what I'm saying? It's funny that you know who Tip O'Neill is. Tip O'Neill Tunnel, it's in Boston.

Oh, okay. Try and buy it every time. Cause I can't, I never can think of Tip O'Neill. Did he play baseball or no? No, Tip O'Neill was- That was Tipper Gore. Yeah. Tipper Gore was married to Al Gore.

Al Bundy. She did the- The children. Four touchdowns. Ted Bundy. Ted Bundy. Ted Bundy. Hammer attacks.

Yeah, hammer attacks. Hey, help me with this couch. It's like, get a guy. Like all those chicks should have been like, what? Yeah, why are you helping me? Why do you, why do you have a cast on and you desperately need a couch move? What are you talking about? You don't live in one of these sorority dorms. Yo, you found it in the dumpster and you want to bring it back to your house? Are you insane? Why don't you wait six weeks until that cast is off before you go dumpster diving, you prick. I want to bring it back to your house? Are you insane? Why don't you wait six weeks until that cast is off before you go dumpster diving? You break. I want to be comfortable now wearing a wig of someone's scalp,

somebody else's face. Hey, I need some help. It's like what are you doing? Go get some rest. What's funny? Because like what didn't he kill a bunch of sorority girls? Oh yeah. So it's like, are you moving into one of these houses? What do you mean? Where are we moving the couch to? No, he was like he hung out at the lake for a lot of his first stuff in Oregon.

And then he moved to Utah. In Utah, he like infiltrated Mormon, like a Mormon community group of like singles. Yeah. And he was like cutting up in the life of the party. And then he just like disappear a couple of them. And then he bailed pretty quick because they were like on to him a little bit This is Tony did this at the same one the same party

you know we're just within like the the Mormon if there were like 30 singles that would meet up and he just like Got rid of a couple of them I think and then didn't he get like a six-pack of sorority girls at the end He went into like two sorority houses and hammered like ten girls and like most of them died or something. Damn. He went out on top. He fucking ramped up and then was like what do you do from here? Yeah, he finally killed the last one and then that Wiz Khalifa song, the Paul Walker. Walker it's been a long day that you my friend I'm losing my voice he lived his life a quarter mile at a time for well he lived it's also a time when it wasn't unnatural for like old guys to be hanging out in college I feel like we're

like going to sorority or fraternity parties oh the professor's here to teach us all algebra come on in mr. Bund Yeah, exactly I need my measuring hammer dude I'll do like shows at fraternities in California and they'll be like hang out with us after I'm like no Yeah, what that like people would immediately suss you out as being like who's the old guy? So you would feel too old? Yeah, dude. I'm 27. They would clock you as skibbity toilet is this Get some squidward out of here I'm literally goodie-ing right now. What is that for? I'm doing the goodie

The gritty that a thing no saying it like that. I thought was a something. I didn't know toilet No, no the list the speed the speech impediment. Oh that yeah, that's a thing this that kids do online now It's funny that like you are 27 pats 36 and yet you guys are both in the same meme groups He's stuck you had a stunt and he talked like Flynn 38 That's 33 he thinks it's young yeah Kind of barely in 90 I was born in 97 you old bitch Pat you're so irrelevant yeah I'm an iPad baby you're a heavy flow baby can I get

pasta with butter sauce please so this is what we do on the pot. All right So has anyone got any good gossip from the festival so far I've been doing something fun Which is I'm going up to people and saying everybody said that you're wasted and you're insisting on driving tonight Not cool And it's pretty fun because it's not the same as like spreading a rumor talking shit behind someone's back Yeah, I'm making it sound like everybody has been talking shit, and I'm their only friend. I did it to Kelsey Rosen. I did it to Cape Glocklin Kelsey Rosen would probably freak out. I've been fucking with her for a while. I keep grooming her Grown woman No childlike sensibility dude you're brushing her hair she's an iPad baby like building a house for us I like her

and it's fun to haze her yeah no it's like making fun you know roasting like donate to her only fans yeah like I'll Venmo her seven bucks or whatever and be like You don't want to know whoops Hey, this will change the dynamics No, and I went up to her today at the barbecue and I was like, I heard you were wasted last night Drive home. She was like, oh you talked to Nathan and I was like what she Blowing it I don't know how to. You're including women, which is difficult. It's fun busting balls. Rumors can be a little bit salty, but busting balls,

like, I don't know, like, my favorite thing is I see this one guy in an open mic all the time and all of these just go like, jacket, I don't know about that. Dude, he spirals immediately. Every item of clothing, because he also does objectively dress bad, so I will just be like,

I don't know if that shirt works, man. Yeah, if you really wanna test your, I don't know, abilities in the black community, just mention your shoes, huh? With that, that gets in their head. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. We'll be doing that tonight.

That's what you're doing. Well, I hit Mel with that. You hit Mel with that. Yeah. Instead of supporting him. Yeah, I like the shoes too, but I knew that it would spiral him Don't spiral him and innocuous clothing comments can spiral anybody dude. It's very fun Lund accused me of code-switching earlier at the pile. Come on. He totally He walked up to a group of people he didn't know one of them was black guy

I didn't like people there were London Not like the running tally I'll just look over at Sam and he'll go His glasses don't don't work like they used to he doesn't know who's what Gray he immediately said something about I didn't want to stun on him and it's like dude You never say they were like Are you getting in the transport for the shuttle and I said no we're getting this kia soul But I want to get in front of you guys cuz I want to stun on you Yeah, which he never can't you can't say that you can't say that on television

There was one black man and then a white woman and then another type and the white woman dapped you up So that's what's up one went oh Damn you trifle in these streets. Yeah, it's just funny to hear you say didn't want to stun on them I didn't say on him as if you say it every day. I say stun to lots when my big verbs done It's a good one. Yeah, so sorry. I'll accept for you the megafauna has descended upon the snake Yeah, I'm sorry. I'll accept for you the megafauna has descended upon the That bought a jug of Arnold Palmer I noticed that you guys have two containers of Oreos

Yeah, we do. That's awesome. Look at me. I was going full hog heaven That was in case the birthday cake ones don't eat don't eat the case and they fell on the ground Sorry, I wasn't set a fucking word Thankers he's farting. He's ripping ass and I love it it's not the slime yeah no we got we got some Oreos because last night we didn't get any snacks we didn't get any snacks last night and we were sitting around in here stone to the bone I had to flee the bar last night because I didn't want to talk to one of my wife's enemies yeah Yeah. So we came back here. Until the malpractice suit is settled. Yeah. Well they don't do back insures. She puts it on her back instead of the front. Yeah. It's not where they go. She's a hit. Everyone wants to tandem skydive with her, don't they?

Mitch, don't eat the tiles buddy. Yeah we got Mitch in there, he's got a pint glass in his hand. He's snorting. Yeah, no I don't feel like I code switched but you know, you guys be the judge. He did. I don't care man, I'm just having a blast enjoying my friends. It's good to be back here in Denver and remember just the strong community that we all have and it's really great. You know, this is a good one that I did a couple of times last night.

I think it is to you is when you ask where somebody lives these days, BK, I couldn't remember legit. I was like, you moved to Dallas or Austin? He goes LA and I go, where's that? That's a fun one. It's a really good one. LA more than New York. I think you hit him with it and it's spiral spiral immediately I don't know. LA's out No, I'm getting up at flappers. I just like LA's

Club. Oh, yeah audition for I think Cluster fest there one time bro Did not go well because I tried. Yeah, Flappers, I had the craziest interaction of Flappers. I watched Darryl Hammond. Darryl Hammond was on the show. The guy like brought me and he's like, we wanna get you on the roster. I'm like, okay, let's see what this place is about.

Terrible place. And Darryl Hammond is there, I go, oh, this will be cool. This guy's like on SNL, like very interesting. He's wearing sweatpants, a white t-shirt, a sport jacket and a fedora, just mashing wings while the host is up on stage saying something about how gay people shouldn't be alive or something. I don't know.

Yeah, it's LA, baby. Yeah, LA, it's Burbank. And the host goes, all right, everybody, this guy is one of my comedy icons. I look up to this guy, he's one of my comedy favorites. He's one of my comedy hall passes. Yeah, call me hall passes. Daryl Hammond. It's Daryl Hammond.

Daryl Hammond, I watch him just like wipe his hands off his sweatpants and just like get up on stage and be like, sit down and go, that host is fucking gay, am I right? Place erupts. Really? Oh my dude, when I talk about him- He's hammed it up? down and go that host is fucking gay am I right? Place erupts like really oh my dude he when I talk about he like ham when I say ham did up he just that immediately went like yeah I want to hear me do Bill Clinton talking about pussy yeah just did Bill Clinton voice for ten minutes meanwhile I'm watching this train wreck happen in real time I look over and the

host is eating the fries off Darrell Hammond's plate and I was like dude I'm like watching comedy planet Earth right now. This rules so hard. Yeah You're David Attenborough And then the next guy on stage was a little guy who went up and sang an original song from his guitar and then tried to do comedy afterwards This is all like Laurie Kilmartin one of like the better comedians in LA. They named the club after her. She's like waiting to go up and this guy like he runs his light like the punchline gets nothing and he goes I'm gonna do that one more time. No. Redos the joke. Dwarf? Dwarf man. Wow. Oh my god. It was insane bro. It's funny when dwarves like try it stand up So you get up there stand on your head kick yourself in the face collect your check

Wear some Velcro let us throw you. Yes, like okay. So he played a guitar. Yeah, you play lately No, it was a guitar really. Yeah, the guitar played him. He did big guitar What you know be funny if you wasn't that good you had even though there was a lot of passion He was putting behind it if we had like a Mitch Jones esque person take a dwarf and play a guitar But use the dwarf like a slide rubbing the dwarf on the Put the dwarf on the edge of the thing. He just holds the chords in place Yeah, well, I think yeah like a capo

I think that Mitch would have to do it with a cello or like a stand-up bass, but yeah. Hey Mitch, I'm writing your new act over here. Wait, we had a revelation about Mitch earlier, which was that right before the pandemic prevented him, right before God stopped Mitch from making the worst decision of his life, he was thinking about changing his stage name

from Mitch Jones to Mitch Jericho. And I liked Mitch a lot. But now I don't. Because even though it didn't actually happen, you want you were going to make you were going to do that. If it weren't for a once-in-a-lifetime epidemic. Yeah, thank God. I'm glad all those people died to prevent you. Mitch Jericho. Yeah. Mitch Jericho. You just slapped the slime on the mic. You know I'm trying to get some good slime b-roll. You know what we need to do tonight is we need to team up Alec, who's spoken for, with Mitch who's on the prowl. That's what we're gonna do. I think we'll have a real master blaster situation.

I'm gonna be more of a freak the mighty if I may. I'm gonna be wingmaning you all night. Well and he's getting his hopes up that you're gonna have hot wings but no. Alec's not gonna follow you around and feed you wings Mitch. No what he's gonna do he's gonna try and he's gonna try and glaze the donut. Yeah I'm'm gonna glaze you up. I'm gonna go, yo, my boy Mitch, he crazy. He's stuntin' on fools. Gritty! Yeah, you- Then I go, all right, take it from there. Use Sam's favorite phrase, stuntin' on him. Hey, it's good. I mean, I live in Detroit. Okay. Yeah. Rep 8 Mile now. I'm part of a community. You live above a check cashing place. Oh my god. What does that mean?

I'm joking about your ability to... You think that's where black people hang out? You're making it sound like you're in Detroit where the shit's going down. Yeah, bullets are whizzing by my head every day. Shit go crazy. Yeah. Well, yeah, all the freestyle rapping rapping you have to shut your windows at night Which is now showing Patrick his penis

He's tucking in Mitch come stay in front of the camera and show him what it looks like when a man tucks walk out the sun Yeah, come on hit him with the Jericho right there right there Mitch Go right over. Oh, yeah, hopefully you guys are watching this. This is the man who I will be helping get pussies tonight. Yeah, dude. He doesn't need any help. No, no, I think he's got a... He's already got a wing man right there. Yeah, he needs help putting the pussy back together after he gets it.

It's wing and thigh. That's a lot of meat. I think what you need to do is like with your dick, you start wearing like a donut like they do in baseball that make it smaller on the end. You know what I'm saying? Whoa, you want a conical hog? Conical hog, yeah I think you might have to do that Legendary conical hog

I had a lady eat a donut off my penis Yeah, we know we can't tell the story everybody mad at us, you know when we alluded to someone having them Remember and then we got fucking slapped around Mitch Wait, this happens all the time? lady. You're always having what what? Well, come on come over here and use Becker's mic if you're gonna Becker's not using it Becker's Becker's instead of goddamn I've ever just been farting Becker's thinking about Domino's think crust Sam will always hit me up at like 2 a.m. For the hot guys with DMS. No, no, no

I don't always hit you up. I express an interest in your life. He does that to me too. You're right. I try and celebrate both of you. We're married. He does that all the time. It'll just be a picture of Sam's face and you go, what up? Yeah. It's like it's 3 a.m. man. What happened? What happened? Explain yourself. Well, a lady asked in the throes of passion if she could eat a donut off of my penis. And you said you already ate it. I did already eat it. I ate it and so she... So where are we going to get donuts?

She had a whole box of donuts and she was going to eat this one specific one off my penis. And then she... I ate it because she went out to smoke a cigarette and that's what you do with donuts. You eat them. That's your cigarette is a donut It calms you it makes you less agitated If you someone asked to eat a donut off your penis your wife perhaps, hopefully you say yes Yeah, for sure just for the experience, right? Yeah, I'm not I'm not going out with just vanilla sex for my entire life.

No, no, I'm glad that you were up for the donut adventure. Of course, dude. I was even in someone else's- Why are you defending yourself? You got it. You're nailing it. No, yeah. This isn't a trial. Since I ate the donut, she picked a different one. She picked a Bavarian cream filled eclair. And you got a yeast infection? She said you ate it out of me no she fucking no she fucking she tried to put it on my dick how well like a hole that they put the gel inside of yeah how would you imagine but you're getting a fucking there's no really hole cuz it's filled it's filled up you would think

cuz she would but you'd go long ways you would go long ways with the eclair like the fucking Tetris hot dog Yeah, the body moving parts going the same way as the hot dog She put it on my dick like she was putting a propeller on a World War one airplane So she put it on long way. Yeah, and then she spun it. She spun it. She tried to eat it Did you get jealous when she was eating it? He said hey, that was my breakfast That was my third dinner. When you're going to town on someone you're doing oral sex on them you look up to do like the how am I doing

look. She had chocolate all over her face like big Groucho Marx eyebrows. She did black face. And you looked up like what me worry. I sure did. But she got mad at us for this no no different different people which I didn't know is the case because Mitch is just fucking he doesn't need a wing man he's good I know this sells himself I know that Mitch oh my god I'd love to I love to watch which is stifling me with a Russian nerve hold right now. I know he's so big It's Jericho It's a fun it's a fun marbling to Mitch too. Yeah, he's the best Yeah, I would love to watch you engage in the sacred act, you know one time actually so recently Flynn's girlfriend. She's

She's out of the game out of the game. What we got to get them to how many patreon Followers and I'll go live on only fans. Oh, I think 2000 close to 2000 you'll go live on only man. Yeah when we hit two thousands Mitch is gonna post hog And we're gonna give him the check for that month, right? That's gonna be that's awesome Okay, well, I'm trying. We'll give him a Becker's portion. No, I'm living on it. You get all the money from the OnlyFans you set up where you post the hog. Mitch, you would crush it on OnlyFans. Here's what you're going to do. Feet in hands. No, but here's what Mitch, you do. Okay? And this is coming from somebody that, you do, okay? And this is, this is coming from somebody that, you know, I did the LM AOF, okay? And I, I asked the, uh,

the weird organizer with the, uh, dominatrix Asian girlfriend, what's, what's hitting on the charts now, which you need to do is like take things like donuts or different foods that you like, and then use your huge hands and mash them. Oh, you should be smushing. You should be smushing. You could also step on food. Step and mash them. Oh, you should be smushing. You should be smushing. You could also step on food. Step and smush. Step and smush.

I think you would be rolling in it. Dude, if you would step in a lasagna. Oh my god. That sounds fucking really hot. Yeah. Like burning my feet. No, no, no, well let it cool. You have two versions, one where you go, ow!

And the other one where you go, ooh. Look, baby. Oh yeah. Look, baby, you just stay with me, all right, baby? No, and the other one where you go, ooh. Look, baby. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Look, baby, you just stay with me, all right, baby? No, I'm not going to burn those tootsies. They're going to get us out of the ghetto. Yo, yo, yo, who owns this?

Who owns this? Who owns this? Yo. So, yeah, you don't even show your ween. You just smush stuff. You show people your hand holding a quarter or a can of soda. Like a baby kit. And people are going to jerk off to this and people are gonna say I'll do it

I mean people essentially have been jerking off to Ripley's believe it or not for a millennia Scooped out face scooped out face people eat chili out of it How can we monetize Mitch's Unique proportions. Yeah, I think we just did that I mean that's that's what it is right there when we hit 2,000 patreon subscribers Mitch will smush a cake. I think a cake or maybe enchiladas will start with enchilada smash cake Like it's your first birthday. Oh, yeah, we'll have you in a big high chair Binky yeah, well, we'll have Noah Reynolds bring it out to him.

Then we'll have him split Noah in half. Ah! Yeah, dude. We'll put Noah on your dick like a propeller. Oh, no. Ah! He'll be into it, he's figuring it out. That'd be fucked.

He's down for whatever. Noah told me he was by last night Told me last night. No he did. Oh my god. That'd be nuts. No was by I don't know you grab my ass Yeah, I'm gonna go then Mitch Jones is to become the preeminent Juggalo comedian. He's going to be cleaning up all that juggalette. Yeah, first comic signed as Psychopathic Records. You should be like, Juggalette, let me huck too on that thing.

Come on. Juggalette, let me finish. Come on now. There we go. Thanks Mitch. Thanks Mitch. Mitch, always a great time. Mitch Or go. Oh Thanks, Mitch. Thanks Mitch Mitch. Oh, he's a great time Mitch Orton Mitch Austin everyone Why would you Mitch Foley would have been funny? Mitch Foley Mitch

Mitch the rock John Mitch the hitman heart what about for rook Mitch's Mitch aside What I'm gonna grab a seltzer can I grab a shelter come on they're not cold yet We keep opening the fridge to grab these warm ones. They're never gonna get cold. Yeah one scolded me. Give me a cold Oreo Well, okay, so they're on the the water loser on the shelf at Walgreens. So there's Yeah This one's this isn't cold Yeah, kind of Anyway, we have to do ads on this one

The free one. Yeah, it's a free one. We're not a paywall plan check my phone because it's our camera today One can runs over there. I Love to do it. Yes, one's been googling. We're good at that. So you all of times I'll hang back Just do handsome Squidward and gritty that so you all hang back just do handsome Squidward and gritty yeah so we put the water lose in there I've been drinking them even though they're not ice-cold you put two you put two six eight packs in the fridge I put the other two into the freezer because guess what it's colder in there didn't want to explode you got scared that after 25 minutes they would explode and went back

when or the couch they're not even cold at 25 minutes they would explode and went back under the couch They're not even cold at 25 minutes in the fridge in the freezer And instead of being like oh, everything's fine I'm worrying for no reason you put the freezer ones into the fridge so that none of them are cold to this day Well, you know what you could do shut it. Yeah and drink out of the fridge. The door on the fridge is good, too That's also a good idea yeah you love that was the thing sorry deep in the well sorry everyone a little girl drowning in you we all float down here oh we have two ads. So how about that?

Okay. Let me guess what they're for. Raytheon and RC Cola. That's what I thought of too. That's Moxie actually. That's funny. You know if you like funny stuff you can come see me at the Diamond Comedy Festival in Arkansas. Big Diamond. Big Diamond.

Tickets are flying for that. Come see us in Bridgeport, Connecticut, because those tickets are not flying and they added a Thursday tickets are Brian out there How about helium you can come to say that's in Philadelphia San Diego Sam talent comm everyone and join the patreon You know if 2020 taught us anything. It's that Mitch Jones almost went by Mitch Jericho and And 2020 also taught us that toilet paper isn't always around Luckily, there's Tushy what there was no toilet paper in here until Becker. Yeah, Becker's a stole some from

The movie theater Dude you were stalled I used to steal toilet paper from Metro State I used to steal toilet paper from Metro State. There's that huge roll. Yeah. Yeah, and man your butt just Desensitizes to that to everything it's sandpaper, bro My buddies could sneak up and goose me all the way up to their fucking wrist and I wouldn't have any idea Yeah, you wouldn't flinch. No, no, no, you're literally dead on the outside. You got to be careful. Yeah those big ones But yeah, I'd stole one or two in my day for sure. You can't wipe with Chipotle napkins for the rest of your life. All right? I've tried it.

Last time, last time I had to do the coffee filters was when I stayed with like five comics that lived in Nashville. Coffee filters? They had literally, this is what happened. Owner Booker of the club hits up the comic house and is like hey can these guys crash with you like a few days before that we're gonna be there for a day and then we went and did shows elsewhere and then we were gonna do come back fly out of Nashville after another show two nights or whatever so they know we show up and it's like oh hey man I was gonna use the bathroom but there's

no toilet paper he's like oh, we got some coffee filters for now I'll get some tomorrow. It's like it's crazy. Okay, I can't believe like I but I've been there I've been so embarrassed though telling like another like a friend a colleague. Yeah, like no just use this Yeah, well and like coffee filters. I like it's pretty good. It's such an embarrassment. It's either that or you make a haunted sock puppet Like it's pretty good. It's such an embarrassment. It's either that or you make a haunted sock puppet Yeah, are you slime done that but that's not fair to slime. It doesn't it doesn't absorb tried Absorb any liquids you get on they don't mix no matter how this you're gonna eat that by the end of the weekend How much you eat? You can eat a little you know

What's fun is you get that cloud slime and you chew on it a little bit, but you don't swallow Yeah, I know you put yeah, you got to spit out whatever liquids come out of it but it does have an extra... Is there a lot of liquids coming out of it? Oh yeah. Okay. You don't think that's like maybe... There's a lot of liquids coming out of you. I think there's a lot of liquid coming out of the Tushy bidet which gives you a targeted stream of water that gets you... I'm tired of when it's not targeting. It gets you... You know I hate when they have me oscillating. When it's spray and pray. It's a fan in the summertime. I hate sprinkler mode. Yeah it's just just Christ Church in there. God damn it. We're gonna love this ad, Reid. You get two times cleaner than just wiping with toilet

paper. I've done the research. Yeah, there's butthole scientists that have proven and over several trials That it's two times cleaner. It's true. Obviously you get some water in there. It helps a lot What are we doing with just fucking raw toilet paper? We're walking around with shitty asses what we're doing now and doesn't matter how handsome you are if your squidward is all fucking full of shit Hosing yours down. It's like a lot. I'm not hosing mine down. I go straight up raw. Whoa. Yeah I also you should get a to see bidet man And then hop over and hit the squish you start with the toilet paper Yeah, I do that. That's if I do not isn't what you're supposed to do

No, you're supposed to go bidet and then toilet paper the The times that I've done that, because I had a tushy. And you know, trust me, this is a ring endorsement for the tushy. I thought it was great. But the problem with me was that I think it's just how big my ass is. That like, I would get wet, wipe, and then like, it would just, my ass would rub too hard due to like the friction and the wetness in there. And I would, it would, it would be like a forest fire you have a depth issue yeah depth issue you have to open your cheeks dude my turds come out dry age you feel it on the butt on the on the hole it's crazy all right so you have to you have to I have to really get

it I have to excavate I'll show you all right I have to get like I have to be like you know fucking Philip Morris mining company in there we got to get a canary in your coal mine this is what we're gonna do union teamsters down there right now Pinkerton's Alec after we're done here You're gonna go upstairs and you're gonna shit on the toilet when you're done. You're gonna call me and say I'm in We're just gonna lift you up and spread for you and then we'll get the tushy Or we can we do the pillowcase test So why don't you go up there and wipe regular.

And then we'll come and we'll lay out a pillowcase on Lon's bed. And then you sit down and you spread them. And if you leave any roadmaps, we'll know that you're not clean. We'll beat the shit out of you. Me and Emily did on my wedding night. Her mom had a pillowcase that she got from her mom.

This pillowcase and I was the first one to land clean. And you said this is a hobo tradition. I'll tell you that Tushy would guarantee us a passing grade on the pillowcase test. Also setting up is easy and the results are a total game changer. Save my marriage. Once you've tried a Tush bidet, you're never going to want anything else. That's true. You're not going to want food or water or companionship. You just need your tushy and your Nintendo switch. Tushy and your switch. Tell your wife, hey, check in the mail. Take a walk. Yeah. Tell it moving, pal. No, it seriously is fantastic. Such such a great product to get. You have to get good at it though. You have to commit. I do have to come

get out of the gym and get on the toilet and get, you know, you need a trainer. Get off the climbing wall. Flynn learned away. I can't get down. I'm just here to come down. Did I tell you what happened last night when some of Zach, he brought him up. Yeah, hit him. Yeah, that's good Oh So Salma brought up Flynn by saying like you've seen him on tick-tock and the internet is pretty lame He's a little guy kind of pissed out. I was like a little guy got off the internet I'm like, I don't know just say something look up his girlfriend online. Yeah, it's gonna work out They're both climbers damn it well that was what I so I went backstage and I was like

he works at a climbing gym a social climbing gym and Salma was like that's good that's aces kid. She talks like New York now. She's chewing on a stogie. Yeah and I was like you should say that and she was like no you should say it. I was like I can't say it. It would hurt his feelings. You should say it because you guys are tiny. Well you know she like admires me a hero to him you know so I was like you say it's Alma so then Salma went out and was like I like Flynn or whatever huh more like social climbing gym no one laughed I was screaming the back fuck you he was in the green room yelling fuck you all the other comics don't know what's going on Salma brings me on by saying he's from Elizabeth Colorado he's huge

yeah yeah which is great he's little he's huge yeah go that way that's easier than he's a little guy damn dude he's half a person you know what you should go do though is to she calm and use promo code no guys shut up okay to she dot com promo code let me climber let me say we didn't get to this the butthole scientists say that using a bidet can also help prevent chronic issues like hemorrhoids UTIs and irritation you're irritated down there yeah I'm a scientist it could lead to a UTI I I guess chronic issues. It goes both ways You can get you can get in trouble down there. So you got to keep it separated

Like the offspring and you have to you have to keep it real down there Play go get yourself some young tight hole right now, man, but one day you're gonna be the dog to be the dog. You're gonna be the dusty old fucking... Push it all back in. Whoa, whoa. This even says you can go get Taco Bell and trust Tushy to take care of the aftermath. The aftermath. Who's writing these? Mitch, like that one. It's me.

Nice. Copywriting. Let me say this though. You got a tough degree. Yes. I wish I was Nezcak, if only. Where'd you go? I went to St. Anselm. Well, well you guys should go to do the gritty real quick Feel shower fresh when you need it most and join the two million butts who already switched to tushy for a limited time chubby Behemoth listeners get 10% off their first bidet order when you use code chubby at hello tushy comm

That's 10% off your first bidet order at HtL o t u s h y That's 10% off your first bidet order at H-E-L-L-O-T-U-S-H-Y dot com slash Chubby with promo code Chubby. I think we finally found our voice as a podcast. This is the most stoned I've ever felt. Surely that's our only ad read, right? No. Oh, okay. Well, hey.

Football is black. Give it back. Drop it. Wait, is this, is this my bookie? I don't know, read it. They don't listen to these. Football is black, which means winning season is all white. Race war. My bookie is here to make sure you're ready to cash in on the action. This season, they're pulling out all the stops. They're stunting on that ass. Come on. With awesome promos. Like weekly risk-free boosts on Thursday. If your bet

hits and it will, you win big every time. If it doesn't, no problem. My bookie will refund your wager. Man, I love, you know my favorite part about the ad reads is personally endorsing them. And allow me to do it, all right? You guys out there placing all these parlays, you're trying to buy a fucking fan boat to get back to the Acadian homeland of your forefathers. No, no, no, you need to do straight bets

and then roll that over into your next bet. I've been printing money like a goddamn confederate bootlegger. I say, oh black medic, crowd me out. And I've been, so yeah, you take, you do one bet, get a hundred bones, maybe get a thousand bones. Tell your wife it was a hundred and then you're gonna kill the rest of your second family. You're gonna put that all on Bo Nicks over rushing yards and you're not gonna lose He's quick. He's quick. And also the team is in shambles. Oh line suck. Well, you know, it's not the O-lines fault Bo keeps rolling out. I've been watching a lot of game film because McGlinchey's a great tackle and you know, you're watching the all 32

I'm watching a lot of offensive lineman footage. Nice. Yeah, and Bo keeps rolling out And that's where you get these holding calls all the time because they're trying to create a pocket. He's rolling out they got to grab on to the fucking collar. Anyway you need to put some money on Bo Nicks over rushing yards because he's all he's the number one rusher for the Denver Broncos. He's terrified. And if that doesn't hit my bookie doesn't care. They're gonna pay you double. It pays to lose. My bookie also giving away hundreds of thousands of bets They'll all give it back and hundreds of thousands in prizes with their super survivor and squares contest Well, you're no square. Are you pod nut? That's right. So roll up what pod it literally says football is black

Oh football is black Football is back When you're ready to get started just click the link and show notes sign up and you're ready to bet use promo code chubby to Claim a bonus that doubles your money on your very first deposit you heard that right double your money with code chubby before even place a bet Loyalty pays off with my bookie plus the more you play the more you win it simple climb through the tears of the loyalty rewards program to unlock even more epic promotions exclusive giveaways and bigger rewards my bookie plus is the lock of the century but on anything anywhere anytime and make your season a

winning season chubby who nice job thank you uh what time do we would only five minutes left baby five all right we all just be going no Flynn bring us home boys you know what how about this you're the young man you're out there what what do you want to impart upon really old guy and a guy who's just kinda older than you kind of older yeah he's the big brother I'm the

uncle yeah big brother and uncle'm the uncle. Yeah, big brother and uncle and this is my stepbrother. He's a neighbor. He swings by, he farts. I don't know man, I'm just trying to really... I was gonna ask you guys like the success that you're all having and the joy that you're having bringing like the chubby community together. Like it feel like sometimes that you're constantly moving a goalpost? And how do you make sure that you just kind of enjoy it? You were supposed to teach us stuff,

and instead you're asking us for karmic advice? I don't know, remember our podcast we were gonna do called Educating Alec? And you fuck it, you got me all excited and you bailed on me? Noah already did that. Yeah. Noah already did that.

Just to avoid it. Yes. You guys tried to steal from Noah. We tried to steal from Noah? You know, yeah, no already just to avoid You guys tried to steal from Noah we tried to steal from Noah, you know, there are there are no guideposts in this game So literally is the journey there's no handbook to success and hey what a success even mean to me It means being able to afford this Airbnb Listening to Mitchie chips that I spent a hundred dollars I didn't even bat an eye. You haven't had edge come in your trough yeah yeah Mitch just ate the sink and you know what I'm not worried about that because this is success having Becker here rigid unblinking lun

jerking off to your girlfriend this this rules look kiddo you already made it. She won't listen bitch turn it off For you I love you guys already successful. You gotta hang out with us. That is success. I put you over like the fucking Road Warriors in Japan man As I know You're gonna make it Man I want to I want to I want to play you know the molesting uncle in your biopic or whatever It may be we can bring old sit along. Yeah. Oh, yeah boys I'm about to blow up like you because of my lighthouse ranch wrapping I'm gonna be everywhere. We didn't talk about lighthouse ranch wrapping. We didn't talk about Patrick Sullivan being a fan of mine

Where they get a load of me? Yeah, this is all big stuff. Who's Patrick Sullivan? He's my favorite magic the gathering player. Oh, yeah, he's playing today Cuz the Orvid all said my carozo were about to go to play in the magic turn my carozo And or the door laying in the food that they were playing with Patrick today. Oh, I don't know if Patrick's there Oh Patrick's not there Your best friend. Yeah, he came to the show last night you guys think out front and I was like, yo He was like I'm a fan I got his phone number. No big deal. You did like the guy who got your phone number you're like And he caught you doing it. I

Tried to sneak him a beer out of the green room I was like you want a beer bro? and he's like Yeah so I went back and I grabbed a fat tire and I tried to take it out of the green room. I was like you want a beer bro and he's like yeah so I went back and I grabbed a fat tire and I tried to take it out of the green room and one of the frail volunteers at clothesline you yes yeah she was like you can't take that out of the green room I'm sorry and I was like oh actually I can do what I want I thought all right she said I'm so

sorry I'm so sorry you go I'm Sam Talon I know my hat says Lund so you think so you think you can fuck with me but I'm actually no no I'm Sam no hat says Lund, so you think you can fuck with me, but I'm actually no, no, I'm Sam. No, you're Lund. Nice. I backfired. Yeah. Nice. Turn it around backwards. She's like, Whoa, it is Sam. Yeah, so I'm about to be as big as you. I'm going to be good word and you regular Squidward plus Patrick rolled into one like slime to create a third crazy thing Becker sandy cheeks Feels good. I'm gonna try it for a second. Bye. Yeah, go to a patreon.com slash chubby behemoth sucks No, it's really cool. It's like kissing Patrick, which I don't like his lips are always too wet

We got you cat cuz it's like looking in a mirror. It's like kissing yourself fucking wet lip bitch Get the 2000 Patreon members was like two Mitch is gonna suck us on Mitch is gonna suck Alex day Right you agreed to that right Mitch Wow while great doing the gritty. Oh, yeah, you're gonna sit on a cake live So on the cake do the gritty free on oh, yeah yeah you and Pat can gritty around the giant highchair that we're gonna gritty around the highchair while Mitch is eating cake yeah you have to shit the diaper too after you're done with the cake you get

to shit the diaper use the tooshie I just want to say hey we support we love you guys thank you so much we're doing so well the pods exploding yeah and everything's going great yeah yeah dude we're gonna get Becker's operation Flynn tell them where to find you hey guys I know you might just know me from now but I would really appreciate if you came out to my shows at Salt Lake City at wise guys October 10th and Las Vegas October 9th this is coming out January 2025 fantastic coming out January 6th even better something braves about to happen um seriously I have zero tickets January 2025 fantastic. Coming out January 6 2025. Even better. Something brave's about to happen.

Um, seriously, I have zero tickets sold for wise guys in Las Vegas. So if anybody could show up, I don't know, just bring a gun, shoot me while I'm in mid act out. That'd be good too. What you're going to need to do is you're going to have to print out some flyers of your own face and go hand them out on Fremont street. I'll fucking do it. You're going to the street team, your own ass.

Is that actually what they do? Well, I mean, that's what you should do, dude. Cause if you were out there for 20 minutes, people will be fucking, they'd be sold out. They'd be like, are you Matt right? Yeah, like no, I'm handsome Squidward. No, that's what we're gonna be like how much our tickets get me for can I touch the slime? No You know what he should do is you should get your babe and another babe and have them out there scantily clad dumped and well You know, they probably just pay somebody in Vegas to do that yeah you could bring a girl out I don't want to do that yeah I want to just a traditional home okay but guys

check out my grill podcast bring the grill onto the strip that would be a good idea funny-looking man on the street on the man on the street on the grill on the grill strip on the street strip on the strip you got a strip a New York strip on the stake on the grill on the strip and I'm stripping strip on the man on the street on the grill on the grill on the street strip on the strip you got a strip a New York strip on the stake on the grill on the strip and I'm stripping strip on the strip whoa okay it's too much they're gonna they're gonna take it yeah some entrepreneur with a rich daddy is about to take that and run with it I wish I can run Alec is funny and you should support him yeah guys yeah proud of you guys come I love you guys love buddy. I can't wait to have a fun rest of the weekend. It's gonna be a blast. It's only Friday. I'm going to bed. I might just do, I might do

a dab, who knows. Yeah let's go. Oh no, not now.