Circling Back - 14-Ounce Filets on a Weeknight
Episode Date: February 21, 2024Two-thirds of the podcast went to a steakhouse on a weeknight — and you don't believe who ate the most protein. We dive into the girl who got lost in Hawaii for 17 days, a cool story from a listener... about who he's voting for this election, the dad who left his family to become a breakdancer, Will's first-ever car lunch, a ceremony for a closed Hooters in West Virginia, This Weekend in Fun, and more. Meet-up fundraiser: https://fundly.com/circling-back-meet-up Enjoy a free one-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (13:55) Fundraiser + YouTube Update (20:40) Cool Backer Story (25:45) Hooters Candlelight Vigil (35:40) Girl Who’s Dad Left To Become Breakdancer (45:55) Will Did Something He’s Never Done Before on Monday (52:23) Lost for 17 Days in Hawaii (1:00:50) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Fitbod: www.fitbod.me/steam (20% off) Twillory: www.twillory.com (WASHED18 for $18 off purchase of $139 or more) For Wellness: www.forwellness.com (code CIRCLING for 25% off) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the wash media headquarters in austin texas my name will defriest my left david the daily mail rough um thank you will i uh this caught my eye it's
from actually the daily star today plane passengers wrestled and duct tape bloke who tried opening
door mid-flight so they had to duct tape that bloke. Dude, duct tape's the move on a flight, man.
You gotta have it.
It's sick.
If there's any blokes getting out of line,
you gotta tie them up.
Yeah.
Tape them up.
Duct tape the bloke.
That's a new game we play here on the pod.
My buddies duct taped me to an office chair
one time in high school.
And you let them do it?
No, I didn't let them do it.
They held me down and duct tape me to the
chair you got bullied yeah i mean they wanted me to tell them a girl that i had a crush on i was
like i'm not doing that they try to bully it out of you yeah sorry man are you okay no i kind of
respected that they went that far you respect a good bullying yeah like they showed me if it's
well done they showed me they cared right it's a tasteful play if they didn't care about me
they would have duct taped me to a chair and extracted the information on me tell her dog
yeah they were right i should have just done that they fucking whipped a duct tape out i was coy dog
damn it's all right man you really came out of your shell on your in your later years
dylan chivalry i'm trying the apple ice flavor, Lucy,
right now. Pretty fucking
nice. Nice with it.
Good flavor. I thought you were going to say
Celsius flavor because we got that bag
dropped on us today. Dave's over there just drinking a
room temp Celsius because he's fiending for it. Psycho move,
dude. I'm weirdo. I'm cut from
a different cloth. We got
some Celsius in. I don't know if it came in
last night or early this morning, but it was waiting at the door today. I put it in the fridge first thing because I'm a different cloth. We got some Celsius in. I don't know if it came in last night or early this morning,
but it was waiting at the door today.
I put it in the fridge first thing
because you know I'm a real one.
Dave's just out here drinking
like low-key room temperature Celsius.
What a waste of a Celsius.
I put it in the freezer.
Yeah, for seven minutes.
Ten minutes.
And I rolled it around in the ice.
You don't know that trick?
You didn't do that.
God, you give off such GDI vibes.
You didn't spin the bottle.
You didn't spin it.
You didn't get a champagne bucket, put ice in it, and spin your Celsius in it, David.
That's so extra.
I see you lying.
You lying ass.
Why are you worried about me?
Because, dude.
Look at you.
I'm worried about both of you.
Both of you got low-key hungover, boys.
Yeah.
I am low-key hungover.
That's why.
You know your boy just painted the town red last night.
Really?
Yeah.
Red? Yeah. Red?
Yeah.
How do you know?
It's a colorblind joke for the new people out there.
I like to make fun of my disability.
You guys did the rare weeknight steakhouse move.
Not just weeknight.
You guys did the rare Tuesday night steak steakhouse move last night not many folks
not many folks at bob's steak and chop house on a tuesday night yeah i'm sure the wait staff was
psyched when you guys left at 11 p.m when they thought they were getting out of there at 9 45
there were uh two other groups left okay at the restaurant okay there was some um some young ladies
at the bar when i left okay some some coogogs? What were they doing? I'm sorry?
Were they coogs?
I didn't really talk to them, but maybe.
What does one order at a steakhouse on a Tuesday evening?
Fucking.
What'd you guys go off on last night?
That's the most protein I've consumed in one sitting in my life.
You know I matched that ribeye button.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
Sweet potato, which was scalding hot the entire meal.
I couldn't get it to cool down.
You ordered sweet potatoes?
Yeah.
I don't like that move for you.
It had so much butter and cinnamon on it, though.
It was almost too much.
How'd you get your ribeye done?
Medium.
I'm a medium boy.
Okay.
No shame.
Did you get any no accoutrements?
I don't do that shit, man.
I was just a straight teen for you, boy. Wait, did teen wait did you eat the carrot you don't fuck with that carrot
and there's something else with it i just gave it to somebody else
what the fuck would that boy order how much pro tell tell give us your protein rundown big dog
we have lampshops too for appy that's a swag move hey y'all it's the lampshops are fucking baller
they've got the scampi you went scum no i didn't
go i didn't go with the scampi okay i thought about it i did go so um for the table now i went
uh don't do dakota the table went bacon wrapped shrimp which i had four boys i had four of them
you have four i did nobody was eating them they were gas on
the other side at least dude that those are off the table if i'm there you're not you're not eating
four big freezes sitting at that table so good we had we needed pesco there we had two people there
who were just could not go pesco oh yeah blaine's like i don't eat fish just doesn't eat fish but
anything that swims he's like i'm out on it but then there was a sushi exemption exemption to that rule something no we're not doing sushi exemptions if you don't
eat fish but it's a little suit if you eat sushi you eat fish playboy then they brought out the uh
the lamb lollipops yeah which it's over i felt bad that there was some left so i ate three of
those mint jelly or no jesus uh yeah oh yeah they They also got a Caesar salad. I can see Dylan being scared shitless at mint jelly.
He's like, what?
It's jelly that has mint in it?
Come on, dog.
That doesn't scare me.
I'm fine with it.
If there's mint jelly in the situation, my dad is finishing that mint jelly.
He loves it.
He's instilled that love in me.
That's fucking gangster.
I love that for him.
Then I went filet.
I went 14-ounce filet.
14 ounces?
Jesus.
It was a bigger filet. Did you eat all of it? So they had petite filets at like six ounces. You went 14-ounce filet. 14 ounces? Jesus. It was a bigger filet.
Did you eat all of it?
So they had petite filets at like six ounces.
You're doing a straight-up like-
The boys were feasting.
Grande filet.
I absolutely just destroyed that, and I did Caesar salad.
So by my estimation, I probably did about 80 grams of protein.
Yeah.
You ate $250 worth of food last night.
Hey, we need to make sure Brett's out of this.
Shout out to ML&R. Will you make sure Brett's out of this. Shout out to ML&R.
Will you make sure Brett's out of the bathroom for you boys for this episode?
Randy, can we get a report on the current status of the bullpen right now?
Is Mondo Mondo-ing?
Let's just say it's empty.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Can we, while Randy's speaking.
What did Brett order?
Brett scares me when he's ordering watch after that whole chai latte situation.
I'm unfamiliar with Brett's order.
Oh, I know what he ordered at the end of the night.
Brett has a dinner finishing move, apparently, that I feel like he's the only one who truly enjoys it.
What is it again?
It's Fernette, and I don't even think he enjoys it.
I think he enjoys the novelty of it. What is it again? It's Fernette. And I don't even think he enjoys it. I think he enjoys the novelty of it.
It's like, oh, I'm going to order a drink
for the table that no one is going to enjoy.
I've been to dinner with Brett a million times.
He has never once done this
when I'm at a dinner with him.
I swear to God that this is something new
that he just started doing to impress people.
I think he's probably done it once with me.
Okay.
It's not good.
So Brett-
No, I like the, it's not the novelty but i like the
just kind of it tastes like dirt and sweaty socks mixed together micah loves it with a little bit
of like a minty there he is finish do we want to get him in here no we don't have to no but i just
want to say that um anytime you are um so he ordered four, one for himself, one for his lady friend, one for another lady who was with us at the other end of the table, and then one for me for some reason, even though I was very much against it.
you get it and you're supposed and he's like telling you like how to how to breathe before taking it that's usually not a good sign when you have to do breath work before you enjoy the drink
where did he learn this i don't know who is he rubbing elbows with these days that he learned
the the breathing technique before a frenet shot brett's claiming he went ribeye last night
with a side of mac and cheese he He did get the mac and cheese.
Oh, I got the brussies, which were fire.
Can I ask you a take about mac and cheese at steakhouses?
I think it's too decadent of a side.
I almost feel like it takes away from your meal
because it's so decadent that it,
like, it's too filling.
I don't hate that take.
Like, I don't necessarily,
I never want to order the mac and cheese
when I'm getting a steak dinner.
Yeah, a little bread crumbles on there, you know?
Yeah, no, I'm not disputing that it's probably a gas.
I'm saying it's heavy.
Yeah.
It's a heavy side.
Yeah, I just, it's not a side at a steakhouse for me.
Okay.
I'll accept that take.
Okay.
I ate the carrot.
No, you didn't.
I ate some of the carrot.
Can you explain the pageantry of the carrot here?
Wait, how many lamb chops do you have?
Three lamb chops, four shrimp, and a fillet.
Four shrimp, a Caesar salad, a fillet, a carrot.
What's any sides?
I got a baked potato, but by the time I got to it, it wasn't warm at all.
Of all the options, you got the baked potato.
Sometimes you just crave it with a steak.
It pairs well.
That's a whiff.
No, it's not.
You got a sweet potato.
Dave, it's not a whiff, dude.
We're not sitting here between these four walls
of this studio and slandering baked potatoes.
Did Ryan text you from the restaurant?
No, no one texted me. I told him not to
because I was like, I don't want Will.
Will's going to feel bad tomorrow. I don't want him to feel bad tonight
and tomorrow.
I had to break the news this morning to Will.
I love the night of text even when
you know that someone can't do something. Getting the text the night of text even when you know that someone can't do something
getting the text
the night of makes
you feel included
even if you can't
oh then that's on me
because I was like
don't text him
I told Dylan
I told Dylan
that I'm glad
that I did not go out
because I have big
nights for the next
like every night
and so it's almost
it's almost good
that I had to miss this
because I think it
would have set me up
for disaster
to get this out of
the way on a Tuesday and then have a few days to recover before the wedding on Friday, it's good.
Yeah, it's big.
It's good.
I feel good about it.
Yeah, I'm doing a weeknight steakhouse on Thursday for our anniversary.
And so it's not exactly – I plan on going hard.
Going to a place that rivals Bob's is maybe the best steak in town.
Vince Young's?
Vince Young's Steakhouse.
You're getting the Porterhouse, aren't you?
I laugh, but Vince Young's Steakhouse is good.
It is good.
It's still there, right?
Yeah.
Why don't we ever go?
There's so many bit restaurants that we never go to.
P.F. Chang's.
They just play Longhorn Football High.
No, I think we had that requested, didn't we, when we went there?
You've probably requested it.
It was not me.
It was Big T-Shirt Matt.
We watched the Rose Bowl.
That's a good move.
It's pretty dumb.
It's a good move.
Vince Young's taken us.
People were in a good mood.
Yeah.
Vince Young had a great game.
Wow.
USC, bye-bye.
Later.
It was a fun night, man.
Hey, we got some big news yesterday we did a little exactly five
minutes beyond the paywall we had the magic bullet brett merriman sit in it was fucking lit
uh we learned a lot yesterday during that episode please go tune in if you're a new patron you get
seven days free to try it out go try it out uh we got listener voicemails dropping first thing tomorrow morning, 888-618-4422.
Again, 888-618-4422.
Get in, get out, be tactical.
During yesterday's Exactly 5 Minutes, Brett started hashing a plan of creating an 11-man football lineup, an offense, using just serial mascots.
That will be released tomorrow on washed.substack.com.
Again, that's washed.substack.com.
YouTube has still suspended our account,
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Xenowibo.
Facts.
China.
China.
I don't...
Just saying.
Hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up.
Let's hear from our friends over at 4 Wellness right now.
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We've got a little fundraiser update.
David, can you enlighten us here?
Man, I just took a look.
Seattle. You got somebody on your heels you know the the
meme of the undertaker standing behind that dude who doesn't know he's there oh yeah that's new
york city right now oh yeah staring down seattle the big apple a city that does not sleep it's
they're they're within shouting distance they They're one good-sized donation away.
Yeah.
Not even like a crazy donation.
I feel like the last couple days of this bad boy
is going to really heat up.
It's looking like a two-horse race,
but D.C. is still in the game.
D.C., Atlanta's still in the game.
They're all still in the game.
Everybody's still in the game.
I'm waiting to see what kind of bag KJ drops for Madison.
People are saying that he's going to like.
Does he got it like that?
Completely shake things up.
Madison is lacking.
But I'm just saying this is a ball game.
This is a real ball game, folks.
It's getting interesting.
And all the funds go to St. Jude Children's Hospital.
Yes, that's true.
Reminder, this campaign ends on February 29th, as it is a leap year.
The last day of February.
Once midnight strikes, February 29th, no more.
It's done.
Hey, can you read what I just did, Dave?
Oh, no.
No. Dude, I'm a savage I just did, Dave? Oh, no. No.
Dude, I'm a savage.
What do you do?
I'm a savage.
Are you sure you want me to read this?
It says, thank you, William.
That's you.
Thank you for your generosity in helping make this world a better place.
We would like to reward your generosity.
You have made a donation.
Can I say to whom?
I'm trying to spice things up playboy
will wants to be a part of it wow let me let me do a refresh see what happens uh-oh
uh-oh seattle we better get some donations on the way because uh things are getting pretty
close it didn't update on my homepage. It hasn't updated
for me either, but it will.
I'm sure it will. What's the dollar amount
on that? I did a little $50 nod to
our friends over in New York. That's about
one and a half cocktails in that city.
I didn't know you had it like that. What'd that cost you?
$50.
$50? Alright.
When the Funly fund asked
me to provide a tip, I did a custom tip of 0%.
Yeah, that's good.
I don't see why I need to tip a website whose job it is to collect donations.
What tip do you require, sir?
Yeah.
It's a bit weird, but yeah, you can select zero for the record.
Dude, I got a lot of New Yorkers coming out being like, yeah.
Dude, we're going to get scooped bagels all over that damn city.
I'm not scooping your bagel, bro.
I just want to meet that guy.
They're going to scoop mine.
Wait, listen.
Why are you – are you actually wanting to get a scooped bagel?
No, I've never done a scooped bagel in my life.
I didn't know that was a thing until that story came out.
Never thought of it.
What's the Texas version of a scooped bagel?
Getting your breakfast tacos on corn and only eating one of those corns?
That's what I do. I know. That's why I said bagel getting your breakfast tacos on corn and only eating one of those corns that's what i do i know that's why i said it you do breakfast tacos on corn breakfast tacos on corn just don't hit like they do on flour you're right bro that is so embarrassing
you're right it's it's i'm not proud of it i just do it sometimes why do they do double why do they
do double corn tortillas on tacos because they're they're they fall apart yeah but like it's
an integrity play but do you structural is it expected that you you just don't eat one of them
and it's just there for the integrity or are you expected to eat both of them you're expected to
eat both of them that's weird it's too much i don't yeah integrity because they they they you
know they they they're flimsy they fall apart hey yesterday, yesterday on Exactly 5 Minutes, have you listened to that episode?
No.
We talked mad shit about you.
We discussed where if everyone had a job at the Dick's Saloon, what their job would be. What am I doing?
Do you have any guesses?
You're the salt bird guy.
Do you have anything?
Yeah, you're cleaning the bathtubs.
What?
Do you have any?
You're a tub boy.
Am I just the manager who walks around just shaking hands?
No, Dave wanted that job.
Dave wanted that job.
You weren't here to argue.
Sorry.
Do you know what Randy is?
I bet you can take one guess and guess what Randy's doing.
He's the barback.
No, he's the mechanical bull guy.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
But he's actually the bull.
But he demonstrates it first?
Yeah.
Like, this is how we do it, guys.
You get those, squeeze with your thighs.
Really stay on there tight.
He's got major McConaughey vibes in that stripper movie.
Hey, show Dylan your quads today.
I don't need to see his quads.
You want to see my quads, Dylan?
They look insanely huge in his shorts.
Well, Randy's wearing sweatshorts today, which is just an unparalleled move.
He was, oh, okay.
That's a good quad.
That's good. That's a good quad. That's a good quad it's good that's a good
quad good quad they're connected to that fucking dumper he's got too we made you the bouncer you're
the meat at the front of the front of the house you're the face guy okay great i'm checking everyone
get an id check that's the way to do it we don't want to lose our license listen here i'm worried
that you're gonna do full cavity checks gotta make sure to keep that place safe i don't know this this id that i'm not sure how about you spread them
the y'all reviews are just like the bouncer literally searches everyone
a lot a lot of six shooters coming in that bar i gotta make sure uh bouncer bouncer gave me a
no weapon canal for some reason yeah it's only the guys he gives pat down yeah yeah you're good
hey do you want to search my giant person no you're
good get it what's you're you're pouring up pints what are you doing no what was i doing i don't
remember what i was doing rainy nose uh i think you were a line cook or something you're in the
back doing the dishes or something oh yeah i'm i'm you're doing tube steaks i'm doing the dishes
but like i'm also doubling as uh the guy who uses the the spray thing for the uh the wet boxer
contest later in the day wet boxer yeah it's in the back alley
dude come on we're not doing that i charge five bucks so you can walk through the uh the
dishwashing station to get in the back i might squirt you this bar is fucking awesome line cook
just sprayed me the hell i didn't even ask for it i just wanted like a. Don't get caught in the freezer. Damn.
What's Brett?
Bartender.
He wanted to be a bartender.
Bartender.
He's pouring up for net shots for everyone.
Belly up, cowboy.
Can I get you a prickly dick?
Prickly dick? You can't have the guy from upstate New York in a saloon, though.
You wouldn't like what we said, who would be in a saloon, though. Oh, you wouldn't like what
when we said who'd be a cowboy, samurai,
or pirate, what Brett got.
Yeah, Brett somehow got cowboy
in that scenario. We can't just rehash
this entire episode. That's true.
That's what this episode's about, just talking about what
you missed. Yeah. A lot of what we want to do
this year is just giving back to the backers. You know, we
appreciate you guys so much, and
if someone tells us a cool story about something that relates to the podcast, I want to be better
about bringing that up on the podcast. And so I'm going to do that. We got a message. It says,
well, it finally happened. My wife was looking through my photos for pictures of my son when
she paused and gave me a perplexed look. She asked me the one question I hope she wouldn't.
Why do you have a picture of a hot dog with a man's face on it speaking into a microphone?
I sighed heavily, exhaling a mixture of guilt and relief,
as I felt a burden being lifted from my shoulders.
I looked in her eyes, wiped away a single tear, and finally told her the truth.
That's my president.
We embraced, and she cried tears of joy.
In that moment, which I thought could not be more perfect,
my 10-month-old son took his first steps toward us.
Just as he was about to reach us, he kneeled.
He held two hot dogs and an X across his chest
and uttered the words,
Glisconda forever.
Glisconda.
This is such a beautiful story
that you don't normally hear from the backers, man.
It's just really cool to be a part of this kind of thing.
He had a single tear in his eye he had to wipe away.
How does that make you feel?
This story stinks, baby.
Gogs.
Gogs.
Yeah, it's going good, sirs.
It's glizz-on.
Oh.
It works both ways if you think about it.
Did you see the hit piece they're running about you?
Who's they?
The ops.
The ops, dude.
What does the hit piece say?
It said, Glissadente 2024.
Ugh, gag me.
That's the title.
It's a hit piece.
Yeah.
It's just going through.
It's saying that your policies are not financially sound.
I haven't even discussed my policies yet. I know. That's part of the problem. Yeah. They're worried that you're not not financially sound. I haven't even discussed my policies yet.
I know, that's part of the problem.
Yeah.
They're worried that you're not taking a stance.
This guy has no platform.
Because he has no legs.
He's just a hot dog.
How can you take a stance on something?
I hate this.
It's just a concern, man.
It's an election year.
You got to get serious.
Gliz on good, sir.
You got to take it.
Gogs.
I hope Gogs catches on, but I don't hope it catches on to the point where like dudes are at like the second version of january 6th and they're walking
by each other like dogs like they have like assault rifles and they're like sprinting and
they're gogs gogs they replace their uh their tiki torches with i just really extra long hot
dogs this ends in a gogs t-shirt the q anon shaman doesn't have one of those Viking hats on.
He's just got like...
Is that my campaign slogan?
Gogs?
Glizan?
Glizan 24?
Glizan, good sir.
Slight tip of the cap.
Dude is JFK.
Glizan, good sir.
Oh, man.
That was a JFK guy.
That sucked.
Yeah, that wasn't very good. Glizan. Glizan, good sir oh man that was a joke that sucked yeah that wasn't very good
glizz on good sir i uh imagine a future where we can all gag on good says
okay well i am kind of hung over fuck yeah i am not cooked will they come pre-cooked yeah so that would be a president saying that he's not personally
cooked and you are cooked okay what day i was gonna do something i was gonna do the richard
nixon i was gonna go come on man yeah i hit you double horns down yeah dude there's gonna be
fights in the crowd at these rallies
if people are doing horns down at Glissadente rallies.
Paws down, bitch.
I like to picture you on the sideline with McConaughey,
like the home opener.
You're just down there mixing it up.
McConaughey brings you over to talk to the team.
You can't be out in the sun very long, though, dude.
You're going to be sweating, dude.
I'll get cooked, man.
You're going to be sweating through your shirt.
I'll get black grill marks on me.
Yeah, I know.
It'll be bad.
Not good.
Not good.
No.
They're going to have to put you in that tent.
Get him out of the sun.
I know it smells crazy in there when Gliz is in there.
It smells good in there.
It just smells like burps.
I hate this.
That is a cool story, though.
No?
Gogs to you, sir.
Gliz on, good sir.
I want to believe the first part of that story is true,
where his wife actually found a picture in his phone.
Like, what the hell is this?
The rest of it, you know.
I've got a video where you become Glizadente due to a spell that I cast upon thee.
Oh, I forgot about that.
Yeah. That's a slightly funny video made that who made this is that the our guy preston that's a really impressive video
shout out to preston who's preston he's a vfx artist what do you know preston randy said that
real cocky yeah okay but who how do we know this uh heFX, bro. He's a backer. Oh, okay. Shouts to Preston.
Thanks, jerk.
Your VFX effects.
Yeah, he's a VFX guy.
I'm surprised you didn't know that, bro.
Dude, Preston?
Oh, yeah.
Visual effects crazy.
I believe it's like film skirt on Instagram.
Go give him a follow.
Is that the video you sent me?
That's a nice plug, Randy.
He's going to get two followers from that.
It's going to be great for him.
Charleston, West Virginia.
Charleston, West Virginia.
You guys familiar with that area?
Very much.
It's a good area.
I didn't know there was a Charleston in West Virginia.
I've actually never been to West Virginia.
I don't know if I'll ever go there.
West Virginia.
I don't have anything against it.
I just don't see myself racing. I wonder if that's who the charleston
girl is about the child song it probably is he's a kentucky fella i know it just seems like he would
okay sorry not important west virginia you know the song you it's actually, here's the situation. It's one of the best videos ever.
He's goaded.
So good.
He's goaded.
At the western part of Virginia, right?
He's goaded.
Well.
What's the South Detroit thing?
Sorry.
There's like no South Detroit.
Born and raised in South Detroit, but the way that Detroit is kind of structured, like
the downtown is up against the water.
And so there's like.
There's no South. You're in the water. Detroit is just, yeah, like Detroit's just Detroit. Maybe he is up against the water. And so there's like- There's no south.
You're in the water.
Yeah.
Detroit's just Detroit.
Maybe he was born in the water.
And then there's Ontario.
So it's just kind of, yeah.
It doesn't hold a lot of water.
Okay.
Things are upsetting.
Things are happening.
You always know that you're losing your city
when you lose a Hooters.
And Austin had this happen probably four or five years ago.
Sorry.
Where's the nearest Hooters? Getting choked up.
I will remember
you
and those
big fun bags.
Sorry. You took it too far, dude.
You took it too far.
Yeah, we lost our Hooters off of Barton Springs.
It was tough.
Duda lived right across the street.
They had some of the best Daytona-style wings that you could ever imagine.
We spent a lot of good times there.
If it was the day after a Grand X holiday party, you could find us at that Hooters.
Today would have been a decent Hooters day.
We went there after Donald Trump was elected president for lunch.
And we were kind of afraid we were going to get like attacked by a protest that
was happening outside. There was a march. In hindsight, Hooters probably wasn't the place
to go after Donald Trump was elected just based on the contentious nature of the election at that
moment. We were kind of worried because there really was a protest coming towards like the
Hooters. It was like 18 people and they were largely peaceful. We just went out in the parking lot and watched.
We were like, oh, fuck.
Hey, guys.
Hey, we're just having winks in here, man.
We're not.
Just here for the winks.
We're just out of Hooters.
Not trying to rough lady feathers here.
Oh, my God.
Well, in Charleston, West Virginia, Hooters is going away.
Four years ago, they posted,
it's with a heavy heart that we decided to close until it is safe to do business again.
We treasure our loyal customers and employees and look forward to coming back even
better until we see everyone again stay safe and healthy well it's been empty ever since and so the
the locals here are going to do a candlelight vigil for the soon to be demolished hooters per
bro bible how does that just sit there for four years like is that that's pretty you got to be
pretty down bad as a town for this thing to just sit there how does this how does the community not rally earlier
and get this thing off of its feet you know or back up on its feet really this is sad man do
they serve hot dogs at hooters if you want a dog can you get one well i don't know man i think they
do i'm asking the wrong guy you need to check your platform if you can't even go to hooters in 2024
and get a hot dog ho Hooters hot dog.
Okay, I'll be sure and address that.
What if, like, is it more jarring if your wife asks what you're getting ready for and you tell her that you're going down to the candlelight vigil for the Hooters?
Is that more jarring for her than if she's going through your phone and sees a hot dog president there?
Probably so.
Unless you explain to her it's for the bit.
We're not actually sad.
We're having funsies.
I don't know if the bit gets me over the hill that Sally would be building in front of me
while I'm getting ready to go to that candlelight.
It's fun to laugh at it from afar, but if you actually show up, it's like, all right.
How serious are you about this?
Do you get like the handheld candles?
Like is everyone standing there with them lighting them like it's Christmas Eve?
People are just sobbing in the crowd i've got a i've got a married buddy he doesn't live here
who got invited to uh a cart girl at the golf courses um going away party
i'm simply i'm simply skipping you can't go to that yeah i'm simply skipping
that you just can't you cannot go you just you really can't go who is throwing this going away
party the car like the car girl like the course is doing like oh is this is this a friend of lost
uh i'm gonna send a gift i'm gonna send a gift in lieu of attending it's not flounder okay that's
who i really thought it would be but that's not a horrible guess.
Because he would wear
a velour jumpsuit,
show up,
and he would have a blast.
Yeah.
The party would be about him.
Yeah, you can't go to the vigil.
It's been four years.
They closed down for COVID.
And it's just been sitting there,
empty,
with the brandy still on. I have a lot of questions for the the residents of charleston west virginia what were you doing this entire time why didn't they do a fundly maybe that's what we should have
done the what if we just pivot the fundly right now can we just blanket email everybody and let
them know sorry children at saint jude that could be your first big scandal. You misappropriated funds from St. Jude to Hooters in West Virginia.
That's more really in the game when that happens.
Yeah.
You got to have a Hooters scandal.
Yeah.
Get it out of the way now before the debates.
So we have time to rebuild my rep?
Yeah.
Smart.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'll just move a little bit of the funds over there no one will know sprinkle
yeah they do have a big john chili cheese dog apparently
it's the big john chili cheese dog okay hooters teamed up with golf legend and brandon bass or
john daly i was a limited time thing the big john dog it's interesting i would i would absolutely eat the big john dog if i was there
it looks delightful not gonna lie i i am lucky enough to be married to a young lady who enjoys
hooters and who i've gone to hooters with before what did she get there wings a buddy my buddy's
mom brought us to hooters when we were in like eighth grade and i think it was just to see how
we would act like i think she wanted to see us squirm.
Is there one close to us?
How far do you have to go?
I just looked.
It's either 17 miles north or 28 miles south.
It's really weird that you just knew that off the top of your head.
I didn't see you looking.
You said earlier.
What's the one south?
Is that Selma?
It's south of Kyle.
Oh.
That's not Selma's way further.
Out around San marcos way
yeah gotta be you think that think that's san marcos yeah
what do you think some what so just gonna ask if there's some students a lot of clientele if
there's if they're able to fill the theress positions. Probably. Difficult.
Yeah, we're either going San Marcos or Round Rock if we're trying to go.
Oh, you know my answer.
Out round San Marcos way.
Mm-hmm.
Stop the Green Parrot.
Yeah, same carpet they've always had.
Stinks.
You know it smelled crazy in there.
Can confirm.
Yeah.
Did y'all have one in Harbor?
The Green Parrot?
We had to drive an hour and a half to go to Hooters.
Sometimes.
Traverse City?
Yep.
If one of our parents was flying into Hooters,
I didn't ask my parents to do this because I was too ashamed,
but we had certain parents that if they were flying through Traverse City,
we would ask them to pick us up a tray of wings for the ride home.
Can't believe they would drive an hour and a half with Hooters wings in their car
after getting off of a flight.
Wait, did they do it?
Yeah.
Wow.
Of course, dude.
Some real ones.
You got to hook the squad up with some Daytona styles.
I guess.
Did you know there was a Hooters airline?
It halted in 2006, but it was Hooters Air.
What did the flight attendants look like?
I mean, you could probably imagine.
What did the planes look like, more importantly?
They look like big old glitters.
Big owls on the side?
On the tail?
That'd be cool if they were like chicken wings.
Just going through the sky.
Just flats.
Okay.
Is there a Hooters in an airport?
I don't think so.
I've never seen one at least.
You're not getting...
Never mind. Go ahead. No, no, no. seen one at least you're not getting uh never mind go ahead no no let's hear from our friends over at fit body guys you know sometimes you guys just need to work out i need to work out more i
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Your donation has been logged.
Okay, I'll be honest.
I was a little concerned.
It was taking a minute for it to log. Gogs. Gogs. Okay. I'll be honest. I was a little concerned. It was taking a minute for it to log.
Gogs.
Gogs. Okay. I don't know where to begin on this next story because there's a lot to it.
I had never seen this influencer before, but her name is Maddie Hart and she has posted a video to TikTok. And she is discussing her father.
Yes.
She's alleging that when her father was around like 50 years old,
he decided to up and leave their family and pursue a career in breakdancing.
And this video started going viral because she included clips of her dad breakdancing.
And he's pretty fucking good.
And he got kind of famous for it.
He's nice with it
well for an older fella uh after this whole thing went viral and people started talking about it
he decided to clap back at her and say like no that's not how it worked out but he did it with
a smile on his face just sitting in a bitcoin shirt with a bunch of bitcoin stuff behind him
because he's just a weirdo. That's boss up.
He also claims that he didn't abandon them.
He lived down the street and that he gave them $5 million in like child support.
But she has also clapped back being like, he didn't live down the street.
We never biked to his house.
And I don't know about the money portion of it.
She claims that she had medical bills that he just didn't refuse or he refused to pay.
Why couldn't he pursue his his passion break dancing while also uh being a father you know that's a good question that's a good question those two things don't mix at all like
you can't like just spin on your head then go home and raise a family yeah have you ever tried
to shift out of breakdance mode and go be a dad you can't just pop lock your
way through the house he married the game he did look at he's got no hair because it all burned
off when he was spinning to be honest if you're going to be a breakdancer shaving your head's
probably the move you have to yeah like the guy lifetime does he have a shaved head i well i don't
know i've always seen him with a hat and he wears a beanie. I just assumed there's nothing on the back. Does he wear beanies because it spins faster?
It has the padding on top.
Dude, come on.
It's like the slick padding so he can spin easy.
This guy is like 50 years old
and just stands on his head and stuff.
Yeah, that's all he does.
He also chats with everyone there.
He's very well known at the gym.
This guy's got Randy vibes.
He does have Randy vibes.
Don't act like it.
You're about to go to a parking lot tonight and learn the Juby slide.
Yeah.
You're no better.
Not much different, Randy.
I am so sore from learning this.
Have you watched this video?
Have you heard how this guy talks?
Yeah.
So, yeah.
Randy, press play on the early stages of this video.
And then I can go later to when he actually starts breakdancing, too.
But this is this guy talking.
Okay, I wake up at 6 a.m. to do some work I get my coffee I sit down I open my computer and what am I greeted with well hundreds of
comments calling me a deadbeat dad a child abandoner and all manner of other
insults so I think what's this all about? Well, after a few minutes of investigation,
I discover that my daughter, Maddie, has made a video about me. She's a screenwriter in Hollywood.
She's also a big social media influencer with millions of followers. Why is he doing, he's doing
the cadence, Dylan. We talk about this on too much tip. He's doing a voiceover cadence.
It's a little different. That chair looks mad comfortable. Yeah, he looks hella cozy right now.
Probably because he has millions of dollars from becoming a famous breakdancer and investing all
of his money in Bitcoin. Seriously, meet Jacob Dolphinball. This guy's got diamond hands. AKA
Big Red. I don't think there's enough evidence out here to fully take a side and know who's
right in this scenario but uh noted
uh billionaire elon musk has taken the side of the father and uh shown support for him on social
media which is very elon considering i don't know how much uh how much of a factor elon is in his
own kid's life like it's a good point uh it's funny because she while telling the story of her
father leaving their family she's also like
and to be fair he's like really good at break dancing like she's giving him props at the same
time can we get some of that footage this is bizarre yeah i want to see him uh do a windmill
or something yeah he he actually is pretty nice with it in his age in his age group he's probably
an a1 break dancer randy you got to go way more forward than that, boy, boy, like two-thirds through.
This is going to be the clips from when he was breakdancing.
Then he does his own breakdancing in this video.
So this is like he was on Good Morning America and stuff.
So here, I'll show this.
60-year-old breakdancer.
Yes, 60 years old.
Amazing.
He's nice with it.
That's Ben Hart. He's competing at a breakdancing
competition in Philadelphia, and he may
not have won, but I tell you what, he's winning
over a lot of people on the internet. He really is.
He won a lot of people.
He won the hearts of mine.
She's got a smile on her face. She's not
totally torn up about the situation.
The way that she presented the original video wasn't like, feel bad for me.
She was like, your trauma can be funny.
Here's my funny trauma story.
My dad left our family to go break dance.
I don't know if I would laugh about that later in life,
but you know, it is what it is.
He's got his bit cave, dude.
He's a huge Bitcoin guy.
I think all of his money is in Bitcoin.
Yeah.
I think I might be siding with the daughter here
because in those two statements right before we did that,
he said that she's a screenwriter
and has millions of followers.
If you look at her account, she has like 70K
and she said, I'm an assistant and not a screenwriter.
She even said like, this is ridiculous.
Everyone is getting mad at me,
but like they did no background.
They didn't even go to my account
to see if I'm a big influencer.
I'm on team daughter here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I guess he would prove himself a little bit more.
Dad's pretty nice with it.
Yeah.
He is.
He's sick with those pumas on.
Yeah, the pumas hurt.
That's a look.
It doesn't seem like he left to do breakdancing.
I think he had an affair with his wife, and they got divorced, and he moved to Florida
with his new wife.
But here's him dancing now.
Okay, Matty. Let's see how the old man does.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Dude, he's got it, though.
He's better than you'd be.
This is me when American Girl comes on in a wedding.
Yep.
Yep.
When's he going to hit the floor?
Oh, no.
Oh, windmill.
I mean, dude, he's not terrible.
That's a good A.
Dude, for 60, that's impressive.
We can criticize his role as a father, but we can't criticize that he's nice with it.
Okay, but having an affair and your wife, you know, whatever,
leaving you or kicking you out of the house,
you can still, like, be in your kid's life.
That's not an excuse to abandon your family so wait did he like did he pick up break dancing and go all in
just so people kind of forgot about the affair yeah right it's just like i need to rebrand one
big distraction people are like wait what happened that was the break dance thing right but he's
break dancing like no one talks about the other stuff because now he's just all in on bitcoin and breaking
is it does he does he make money doing this or is it just a hobby i think he makes a lot of money i
mean he's doing good morning america appearances and shit dude but like where do you make the money
who pays you i don't get it don't do you not do you not see the uh banner you get i see the huge
bitcoin he's got diamond hands
that's why he's so good at fucking he's hodling he's hodling he's gonna hold him he's never gonna
sell that's no i'm not selling this guy's going to the moon dude i sold mine like close to the
bottom i think so he clearly he clearly just put this banner up for this video, right?
No.
No, he definitely lives like this, dude.
I had an Uber driver recently.
I told you guys about this.
I had an Uber driver tell me that he had a cryptocurrency launching soon that was going to be like a thousand times what Bitcoin is.
What's that called?
He told me he was – so I started looking it up and what he was talking about did have – like it was a thing that you could potentially buy eventually.
But like I felt like he was giving me the runaround here.
He told me to join the Discord channel so I could see more about it.
And I was like, yeah, I just don't think – like this is the most Austin Uber experience of all time.
You asking me to join your Discord channel talking about your crypto that you've created.
The crypto culture is
so annoying they need they have a branding issue they do they have a branding issue because people
like this are we're putting banners up in their homes if bitcoin is supposed to be like a like
there's not any like actual physical currency like why they use like an actual coin is like the logo
for it that's very confusing i don't know. It looks like he put up that banner.
It looks like an ISIS hostage video. It does.
Yeah, it does.
It does.
Is he...
He's about to...
Dave, he can't do it all, dude.
He's pretty dedicated to breakdancing.
You think he can just be an interior designer
at the same time?
I'm sorry.
You're right.
Did he tape down cardboard on his living room floor?
Is that what I'm looking at?
Yeah, that's what you gotta do, dude.
You can't just spin on tile.
I know.
I know.
That's what I'm saying. Yeah, team daughter i'm too i'm glad she's able
to to get a laugh out of it at least yeah she seems well adjusted she she showed um she showed
a screenshot of a text that like two consecutive texts that he sent her one was like uh did i miss
your birthday happy birthday and then the next one was like uh did i miss your birthday happy birthday and
then the next one was like here check out my neck my latest video yeah dude she didn't respond yeah
dude he's trying to get those views there it is yeah that's what yeah hi maddie i lost track of
the date happy birthday question mark i hope you're doing well love dad next text is from a
week later here was my effort in the breakdancing olympics qualifier saturday in minneapolis and it's a facebook link she didn't respond to the
birthday text which was we assume late i feel like the next text is going to be uh he has a
interesting business opportunity that he'd like to discuss with her it's a facebook link too that's
yeah that checks out oh no at least he's trying to check in for her birthday and like hey
thinking about you check out my latest mixtape yeah just dropped
guys can we talk about something okay i had an experience on monday
i did something i've never done before in this case i was a virgin
touched for the very first time touched for the very first time
i left the office at a modest time around 12 20 in the afternoon decided to get in my car
called my mother had a conversation with her on my way to the grocery store
went into the grocery store i bought a cup of soup i also got a little bun to go with it a little dip into that loaded baked
potato soup you know i'm on my baked potato shit david you wouldn't know about that you don't
respect shit you don't respect baked potatoes dude they're bland man and when i got done in
the self-checkout i went back to my car and i realized it was like 12 32 and i had a haircut very close to that supermarket i had my first ever lunch in my car
oh yeah ever ever i've always been adamantly against this i knew you were feeling different
it was a delightful experience yes i i always thought that this was like a terrible idea
i was straight up vibing in this car your little
safe space man you ever just pull into your house and just instead of going inside right away you
just sit in your car for five minutes i'm mostly i mostly finished the song yeah song finisher
or i'll just scroll the tl like i need to go inside yeah i mean i'm in my zone here it's a
the car eating it's like almost like a weighted blanket with wheels dude i pushed the
seat back a little bit more so i had some leg room oh yeah get comfy didn't even think about
putting that seat belt on because i was i was a pork right soup in the car is kind of wild so
that's the thing that's the thing i didn't plan on doing a car lunch so i didn't think through
the options here but the soup actually kind of worked it kind of worked okay i'm not ready to
buy one of those trays yet but i'm not opposed to doing this in the future a car tray yeah that's
the thing oh yeah come on dude keep up what'd you have on the did you go a book on tape podcast or
music no so i had actually previously spoken with with Randy about my music selection that day.
I was listening to some Billy Strings, Away from the Shire.
I was just on my kind of Lord of the Rings bluegrass grind.
And it was a nice little listen while I was doing it.
Dude, you got to catch Strings at Red Rock.
Dude.
You got to.
Bro.
Dude.
Sing there twice.
Dude.
Dude.
That's vibey.
That's all you got to say is dude.
Yeah, dude. People always ask me, like, what's his best show and i say the next one wow never miss a tuesday show no dude might have to sneak
away and go use the facilities the fuck i'm like i'm just gonna get up and walk out why didn't you
do it before the podcast dylan well Well, Mondo was in there.
Okay, you didn't have to.
Why are you doing it like that?
We already talked about this.
Why are you doing it like that before the show?
No, we were recording.
Were we not?
We were recording?
Mondo, Mondo man, Mondo man.
Everyone knows Mondo with Mondo.
He wants to be a Mondo man.
I'm so hungry.
That's because you're hungover, David.
No, I'm not.
I don't believe you. You had 15 pounds of raw meat left. Yeah, no. How'm so hungry. That's because you're hungover, David. No, I'm not. I don't believe you.
You had 15 pounds of raw meat.
Yeah, no.
How are you hungry, dude?
The meat was cooked.
Red meat.
You're right.
I did have a lot of meat last night.
You had 14 ounces of filet.
That's an insane filet.
That feeds a family of three.
Those lamb chops were not small.
No, dude.
And you had three of those, John.
The shrimp looked like lobster.
Yep. You had four of those? Yeah. I did chops were not small. No dude, and you had three of those, John. The shrimp looked like lobster. Yup.
You had four of those?
Yeah. I did.
That's crazy.
Who are you?
I'm Dave.
Is it time to bulk?
You know I'm trying to put weight back on.
I missed the gym for two and a half weeks and lost weight.
Skiing little bitch.
I thought you were looking fucking frail.
I know, I'm fucking worried.
Honestly, I was worried about it for a time.
Low key, I could crumple you right now. Uh-uh, I get your leg. I'm taking you down. Honestly, I was worried about it for a time. Low-key, I could crumple you right now.
Uh-uh, I get your leg.
I'm taking you down.
Okay, Dakota.
Hey, y'all.
Go take your poop.
No, what if I need...
No, I'm going number one.
Get out of here.
I'm actually glad Dylan's leaving for this next ad read
because I have a little beef with Dylan.
Let's just talk shit about Dylan.
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The shorts that I got, yeah, they're forest green.
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So we've gotten big content guy on for this next segment since it's relating to the big island.
The big island, yeah.
I don't know.
Why did this story go viral again?
I don't know.
I didn't know this happened back in 2020 or 2019.
But I'm glad because I missed it the first time around.
And I learned some things about Hawaii that I didn't know.
Okay.
I knew that they were not flush with like apex predators on the island.
I would have originally guessed like, no, I don't want to be stuck.
I don't want to be lost by myself with no phone in the Hawaiian jungle.
I feel like they've got probably some dense dense woods there but like the islands aren't that
big no and um when this story hit the tl again i went and looked at the responses and people were
pointing out that basically if you just pick any direction and walk for like a day or two
you will find something it says in may 2019 am Amanda Eller was lost for 17 days in the forest
of Maui after a three mile hike turned into a harrowing ordeal. She set out on foot without
a cell phone, food or water as she only planned to be out for a short jaunt. After venturing off
the trail, she wasn't able to find her way back. She suffered from severe sunburn, leg injuries
and loss of her shoes, but survived by eating berries, drinking stream water, and sleeping among leaves.
After more than two weeks, a rescue helicopter spotted her atop a waterfall.
That's sick.
What's going on here?
I've always thought that you weren't supposed to go chasing waterfalls, but...
Maybe the waterfall found her, David.
Maybe she was trying to listen to the rivers and the lakes have you ever gotten lost before have you been lost in
the woods have you ever been lost like anywhere like at a point where you're like oh i really
don't know where to go and i need to go figure this out boy scout boy scout camp at um lynn
creek or lynn state park um me and two other guys just we're like we kind of set out to go get lost
and turns out we did when we were gone for like two and a half hours and the funny part is nobody
was fucking looking for it no one even thought about it nobody cared like the dads are all like
playing dominoes or something yeah i get it i was like oh i get it i was driving i was driving
somewhere once and took a wrong turn and this was before cell phones had maps on them, and I ended up just getting totally lost, and I found myself in Indianapolis, Indiana.
Wow.
Yeah, not ideal.
I was not trying to be in Indiana really at all, and I was just driving, driving, driving, zoned out late at night.
Yeah, I think – I'm wondering if there was something at play here.
Maybe she was – I mean, because she didn't have a phone.
She didn't have anything on her.
I wonder if this was like a disconnect, maybe do a relatively small amount of mushrooms.
I think she's a yoga instructor and she was trying to get clout.
I think she was clout chasing and wanted to get lost and be like,
oh no, I just lived among the leaves and the trees.
She thought it would be like two days.
Yeah.
Was many more.
It's just with the maps that they've put out, Randy,
can you actually put up one of the maps on here?
I put a link to a map in the rundown.
Did you not see that?
It's okay.
You don't have to.
The map that they have up shows that it takes one day
and eight hours to walk around the island.
And so you're pretty much like a couple hours away
from the coast at any given point.
And while I've never been to Maui before,
people do indicate that if you just walk to the beach,
you can just walk down the beach and find someone.
So why don't you just do that?
Hey, man, it felt like you were lost for 17 days
in that bathroom, playboy.
Did you guys talk about the dope coat I got from Twillery?
Yeah, we did.
How you took all of our money?
Dude, getting lost in Hawaii sounds sick.
Just go to the beach.
She didn't do that. She went to a waterfall though i remember when this when this story originally dropped she was like four days in and people
were looking for and dylan's like oh i'm gonna go find her see i want i want to find this girl
i mean how long would it take you to get unlost in Maui, Dylan? Okay. How far is it from, like, how far is it across the island?
It's a big island.
You can't just, like, hoof it?
No, you can walk around.
This entire little track that they just outlined here takes one day, seven hours to walk.
Oh, that's it?
Yes.
So how'd you get lost?
I think in order for me to get lost for 17 days,
you'd have to put me somewhere remote and just be like,
yeah, it's going to take you at least five days to walk somewhere.
If you just walk in one direction, you're going to hit water.
It sounds like she panicked and maybe walked in one direction
and it was like this and that.
Did she hunker down?
She slept among the leaves.
Or the leaves.
Just walk in one direction.
Just walk. You're you're an
able-bodied human being just get through it pretty much best case scenario for uh jungle to be lost
in as they there's like really no poison to snakes no really yeah it's like there's really nothing
that'll kill you outside of like falling off a cliff or that's dope yeah like how do you get so
lost in this scenario like if she went on a hike and there was a trail, then you have to think that there's other signifiers
on this trail, other places.
Like, 17 days is an inexplicable amount of time
to just be completely off the grid.
It sounds like someone who wanted to get lost.
Yeah.
Like, her boyfriend just broke up with her,
and she's like, all right,
I'm going to make him really fucking pay right now.
I'm going to go get lost in the most chill spot I can.
There are no large land predators in Hawaii.
There are also no dangerous land snakes.
That's probably fine.
Didn't they used to call you the land snake back in the day?
That was a different time.
It's interesting.
What, Dylan?
I was thinking about the...
I mean, obviously, it's a small island in the middle of the ocean.
It's a big island.
They call it the big island.
Right.
But it's still a small...
The big island is still a small island. I actually don't know which one is the big island they call it the big island right but it's still a small the big island is still a small island i actually don't know which one is the big island
it's the big one there i don't know
the big island is kawaii i want to go to hawaii really bad i've never been i've never been either
it looks incredible i really want to go do it. They take US dollars there.
It's America.
It's a state.
Shout out.
Do I get like AT&T service there?
How's that work out?
What's up with the cell plants?
They probably have cell towers in Hawaii.
I know, but like, are you paying extra?
Because like you're so far away from the mainland.
You're talking roaming.
She was doing a lot of roaming.
Oh, yeah.
She didn't want to get found.
That's my theory.
You thought she was just trying to like Mowgli it, Jungle Book style?
It's a cloud play.
So I've been watching Jungle Book a lot late, like as of late.
Have you guys seen Jungle Book recently?
It's been probably 25 years.
Do you guys remember how it ends?
All these animals start fighting for mogli to like
save his life and like make sure that he's a part of the crew blue's like no he's in my crew forever
he's not going back to the he's not going back to the people he's always going to be with me
and they save his life from the tiger share con and it's like a whole thing and then they start
walking through the jungle mogli spots one chick from the village
and just falls in love.
And it's like, all right, see you guys, I'm out.
And he just skirts skirts on them for some tang.
Damn.
For some tang.
For some tang.
Like, what's your problem, Mowgli?
Like, these guys just risk their lives for you against a tiger.
You see one girl getting some water out of like some creek
and you decide to just up and
leave he hasn't learned that these hoes ain't loyal you said creek he did say correct i say
creek right there down to creek you said creek yeah wow is that a michigan thing no i just said
just a will thing yeah i just said it you know what's funnier about this this happened in 2019
and it's just resurfaced now has she been hoping she's getting
dragged is she been hoping that this never resurfaces like fuck remember that time i got
like really lost and i shouldn't have oh this is from the creepy.org instagram yeah shout out
creepy.org dude very cool creepy.org that's one of the accounts that uh elon just randomly serves
me on the tl yeah that's one you'll see some things you're not really looking for.
Yeah.
Occasionally.
Like, oh, I could have gone without seeing this base jumper's parachute nut pull.
Or this picture is of this nice family the day before he killed everybody.
Like, he killed his whole family.
Like, oh, that's, yeah.
Thank you.
Isn't your homepage creeped out orgy?
Stop, dude.
I'm not doing that.
Good.
That's not a URL.
That's just not.
It'd be a weird one.
Yeah, it would.
Kind of creepy, huh?
Anyway.
Oh, it's time for This Weekend in Fun, presented by our good friends over at Roback.
You know Roback.
I don't know about where you guys live, but here in Austin, Texas, it's starting to be hot.
Yesterday, it was warm outside.
It was giving summer.
It was, wasn't it?
If there's ever a time to invest in some moisture-wicking fabrics,
maybe some light QZs for a little spring golf,
you know how good it feels to peel that QZ
and just go full arms out for the boys on the golf course?
You know what it is?
I love going arms out for the boys on the golf course.
I know you do, David.
I know you do.
Check it out.
The boys are about to see my arms.
Dude.
Dude, they're crew necks, by the way.
Really lightweight and very soft.
It's kind of perfect.
I love them.
I enjoy wearing it.
I like to raw dog it.
Just put it on over with no shirt on underneath it.
Do you think I wear a shirt on or mine?
Is that what you think?
We don't know, man.
I don't know, dude.
You do whatever you want to do, bro.
I don't think about you.
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What are you getting into this weekend, Dylan?
Thanks for asking, Will. Friday,
big day.
Barrett's wedding. Barrett Dudley
of Retail Pod, Retail Therapy.
I'm familiar with this game. He's getting
married Friday. It is black
tie. You know your boy is
gonna be absolutely dressing white suspenders dave has them too dude we're gonna put on a show
i can't fucking wait white bathing suit you're wearing your white suspendees i don't really
like to talk about it before i'm just gonna get you you always do that thing with your
white suspenders where you pretend to snort them on the dance floor that's my thing to remove man it's not bad actually it's not bad yeah so yeah that's that's
right i'm really excited do you think they'll do heartache on the dance floor i sure freaking hope
so i heard that in my uber on the way to the uh there's no fucking way barrett's having heartache
on the dance party time there no dude there's no way. Saturday, another big day. My son, Parks, having a little birthday party.
Oh, hold on a sec.
You guys don't want to go.
Although they have batting cages there if you guys want to let a few rip.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Yeah, I'm okay.
Did it come through?
I must have the wrong email for you guys.
Well, he hasn't texted me in a couple years, actually.
It's kind of weird
the kid's excited i'm happy for him he's got all his buds are going to be there then having a little
sleepover at his mom's after that big day for the big guy oh wait so wait how old nine oh man that's
sleepover okay they're getting to the age where like the case of the fuck arounds yeah the warm
glass oh yeah someone's yeah i'm not. They're not sharpie on face yet.
Shaving cream and then you tickle your face.
When do you start saying I'm late as fuck for your sleepovers?
He's had some after midnight sleepovers, which I haven't been happy about because he's a grumpy mess the next day.
But they're doing shit, man.
Wonder where it gets up.
Yeah, I was going to say, oh, you're telling me that a shivery doesn't sleep
and gets really grumpy?
Come on.
Are you yanking my chain here?
Don't piss down my boot and tell me it's rain.
Oh, also he has, before the birthday party,
he has tryouts on Saturday.
Baseball.
Okay.
Tryouts.
So that'll be a situation.
He's got baseball starting soon.
Are you going to...
It's machine pitch, right?
No, it's kid pitch.
It's kid pitch.
You ask this every episode, David.
I know, I know.
I'm sorry.
Get it through your skull, dude.
I was talking to two other dudes last night who have kids playing.
Okay.
Because I wanted to teach him to be a sidewinder.
Let's not.
Sidewinder.
Let's not.
Have you thought about getting a preventative tommy john yeah just do it now dude do it before yeah do it before he's like old enough and it's
going to interrupt his career tommy john on a nine-year-old why not not even like joking did
he get the peptides i sent him yeah thank you for those it's not it's not a banned substance he can take those okay look into it i've been helping him freebase some uh deer antler spray really please don't do that
it's not a banned substance please don't do that he's getting gains big weekend big big weekend
what do you weather should be nice what's the what's his meal before tryout like
uh you haven't thought this protein i'll probably make them into a big fat
breakfast you should get them a 14 ounce filet oh yeah with uh some huge shrimp and some plant
chops wrapped in bacon caesar salad oh yeah i yield my time to you david i'm gonna send over
some jolt cola for that party he's staying at dallas's you're
just gonna send it over yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna drop you should bring over some boys i'm gonna
say hey check that i left you guys something it's a gift of gumbo and the gift of jolt a lot of
caffeine my my gumbo the rue is actually made of jolt can you still buy jolt cola can you still
buy jolt cola here's a guy who doesn't stay up late dave's got his private reserve in his jolt cola can you still buy jolt cola you're the guy who doesn't stay up late dave's got his
private reserve in his jolt cave it was introduced in 1985 oh yeah uh where to buy this website is
just crawling who introduced it have they iced down the servers my friend my friend and partner jolt i jolted up found some on amazon i was a
bottle boy scoop it out how many milligrams of caffeine let's look yeah how many miggis in there
you're definitely you're definitely pissing how many miguel cabreras it doesn't say
hey if you know you know it's one of those situations yeah i'm looking forward to this
wedding it's very very fun it's going to be a great time what are you guys going to drink
all night at this wedding you know i'm trying to do like uh i'm trying to do the the single
liquor or you know stick to one thing for hangover black tie gives martini
but you can't drink those all night. I bet there will be espresso martz.
So I might stick to that.
We're not doing espresso martz.
I might do that.
Honestly, Barrett, knowing him, Negroni will be in play.
I don't know.
I'm going to try to keep it traditional, though.
It's a Black Tie wedding.
Got the tux.
Looking forward to it.
Y'all went with the short rib, I assume.
Yeah.
So a 20-ounce-
Not a player.
I went salmon.
A 20-ounce bottle of Jolt Cola has 190 milligrams of caffeine.
Okay.
That's enough.
It's not crazy, right?
Might work.
No.
A lot of-
That's less than one single Celsius.
Actually, this might not be the Joltable.
This is like a different can altogether.
This ain't your grandma's jolt.
Forget it.
You can do it like a coffee enema, or you can do a jolt enema.
I don't recommend it.
I like to humidicate my jolt.
Okay.
That's cool.
The carbonation doesn't feel great.
Who decants it?
Me.
Okay.
The carbonation wouldn't feel great.
It's a closed circle, David very cool the siphon he's
the self siphon right yeah yeah what are you doing this weekend bitch you do anything else
besides this wedding no uh when come to tryouts uh you know if i'm invited just wear some aviators
and stand in the outfield i'm gonna be like you're a scout i'm gonna just yeah i'm gonna sit there
with a clipboard leaning over the chain link fence you should get like you should get like a pull you
should get a pullover from like a select league and like show up and like fake that you're gonna
recruit these kids and make them stars oh that's fucking mean yeah i'm gonna wear i'm gonna wear
all texas rangers gear they're gonna be like is that all right why is there a fucking major league
scout here you know all your world series gear on yeah you just love baseball i'm just down there i just got a little
notepad like five tool player there well boys i got bad news we're gonna have to be up early
after this wedding on friday soccer footy it's obviously it's week yeah it's week three of five
of the six nations we've got've got Ireland and Wales at 815.
That's personal.
But the big match is going to be at that 1045 slot, Scotland versus England.
You know what it is.
As one, hashtag.
If you're supporting Scotland, please hashtag as one.
That's our hashtag for our team, for our Scotland boys.
Say no more.
I don't really know what I'm doing outside of this wedding situation.
There's a little fire inside of me that wants to pull Trigg
on an opening night ticket for the Austin FC Verde.
I think I'm going to see how I feel on Saturday post-wedding
before I commit to going to a 7.30 p.m. kick,
which will probably be around an 8 o'clock kick
with the opening ceremonies for this season.
That's going to be perfect weather.
I know, David.
I really want to go to as many Austin FC games as I can
before it gets really hot outside.
And so there's part of me that's just like,
should I go to this game and drink a million draft beers
while watching the Verde run riot?
Honestly, if you do, keep me in the loop
because I would 100% be in on that.
It's really fun.
It's just, it's so easy right now.
The boys might have to get Verde this weekend.
You want to know the – oh, my.
What is it, Dave?
I saw it was going to be crisp.
High of 75, Saturday low of 53.
What's it going to be around?
Sunny.
I don't know, 8 p.m.
Around 8 p.m.
You're looking at around 60, I think.
I think I'm going to have to go to the Saucin FC game.
Saturday?
Yeah.
Catch me getting Verde, dude.
That means green.
I'll be the guy wearing the Austin FC jersey in the crowd
if you're trying to find me on television.
Dude, I have one too.
I'll be the bloke getting duct taped.
That'd be funny.
Duct tape you at an
Austin FC match.
Where are seats to get duct taped? Pretty good seats there. It's a great venue. That'd be funny, duct tape you at an Austin FC match. Yeah.
Worst seats to get duct taped in.
Pretty good seats there.
It's a great venue.
It is a great venue.
Why no concerts there?
Hmm.
The acoustics.
I saw strings there.
The acoustics at the Moody Center suck.
They had Willie Nelson's birthday.
That's all they have there, really, I think, though.
Which, are they doing it this year?
I tried looking it up. It's always on July 4th, right? Yeah, I haven't seen it. They got time, dude. That's all they have there, really, I think, though. Which, are they doing it this year? I tried looking it up.
It's always on July 4th, right?
Yeah, I haven't seen it.
It's like a time, dude.
It's only February.
That's not the picnic, right?
Yeah.
Or is it?
No, no.
They have two different Willie Nelson things that they do.
You guys are talking about two different things?
The 4th of July picnic.
Isn't that what it is?
They have two different things.
I might go see Vampire Weekend there during the eclipse.
Dude, let's go. Buy a ticket, David. Let's go. What else are you there during the eclipse dude let's go
buy a ticket David
let's go
what else are you doing
during the eclipse
it's during our work day
let's just all go
you have to admit
it'd be cool to go
to see a concert
in Austin
which is in the line
of the eclipse
during the eclipse
think any vampires
will come out
during this night time
he would hate Vampire Weekend
I'm jazzed for this eclipse, though.
Jazzed.
Have you gotten your glasses yet?
They're en route.
I ordered them.
I got some Apple Vision Pros, and I just downloaded the Eclipse app.
It just makes it look like there's always an eclipse.
You've already seen it.
Yeah, I've already done it.
That's sick.
Good call.
I pre-clipsed.
That's good, man. Pre-clips. Pre That's sick. Good call. I pre-clipsed. That's good, man.
Pre-clips.
Pre-clips.
Right, right.
Pre-clips.
I used to get my hair cut there.
Randy, are you going to Juby Slide on Friday?
That's the big question.
I'm going to chicken out.
I am trying my hardest to learn it.
It is not as easy as I thought.
When you're practicing, are you practicing in your tuck shoes or are you practicing in sneakers?
I was practicing with no shoes, then sneakers.
I did do some with the tuck shoes, but I don't know.
Can we see a sneaky pre?
No.
Why not?
Okay, now you guys going boots, loafers, or wild card?
I didn't think about boots.
I don't have black boots.
I don't have a pair of boots nice enough for a black tie wedding.
Okay.
I feel like you have to have like sick black boots. I do't have a pair of boots nice enough for a black tie wedding. I feel like you have to have sick black
boots. I do.
That's a brag. You're not going to
juvie slide in cowboy boots? I'm not wearing my boots.
I'm wearing those taff shoes that you got me.
Oh, you're welcome, Randy. Thank you. You're welcome.
Aw, Randy. Promo code Will.
Randy. Gets you free
shoes if I have some in my closet.
Okay. Hey, good
episode, man. Strong episode strong episode yeah only one mid
episode poop yeah thanks for being here buddy i had a lot i had i had a 15 ounce filet last night
so that's one more ounce than i had oh that's weird oh dang must have been hungry
bye dang must have been hungry bye