Circling Back - 2021 Bit Madness, Round 1
Episode Date: March 15, 2021Bit Madness has returned, baby! Using a listener-generated bracket of every top bit from the last year, we break down each first round match-up. We also finally get to hear from Cabo Dillon and touch ...on some Brett's Breaking News. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop Support This Episode’s Sponsors Cuts: www.cutsclothing.com/steam (15% off) Headspace: www.headspace.com/circling (free month!) Vizzy: www.vizzyhardseltzer.com/washed --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast presented by busy hard seltzer the only hard
seltzer with vitamin c and superfruit acerola my name is will defreeze to my right dave ruff
all right little choose your own adventure here will, it's shocking that you would lead off with this.
It's just, let's see what's trending.
I don't know what you guys real quick want to talk about.
You got Beijing hit with worst sandstorm in a decade.
Sorry.
I don't know if there's been any deaths there.
I apologize if that has harmed any people's lives.
It's dust from the Mongolian Plateau.
So not from Darud?
No. Plateau's always causing problems causing problems uh hashtag first whiskey is trending looks like a promoted post um curtis
samuel uh some covet 19 news and hashtag the cum pipe how is it spelled the cum pipe that seems
aggressive also the gay pipe is trending.
Okay.
Right under it.
And then what's the other pipe?
The piss pipe is not trending.
At least on mine.
You got to think that's the least popular of the three pipes.
Literally no one's choosing the piss pipe.
No one's choosing the piss pipe.
It says in the meme, the time has come for you to choose the gay pipe, the piss pipe, or the cum pipe.
So you have to choose one of them.
Sign me up for the gay pipe. Dude, the gay pipe looks the coolest. It looks the cum pipe. You have to choose one of them. Sign me up for the gay pipe.
Dude, the gay pipe looks the coolest.
It looks like a lituation.
It's like Rainbow.
I feel like it takes you to Rainbow Road, which is one of the most fun things you can do.
Right.
I feel like you were cursing yourself out on Rainbow Road because you were just flying off the entire time.
That was me too.
Rainbow Road is such a beating.
It's tough.
It's a tough one.
I won that one by a landslide.
Well, there's a – somebody responded to that twitter poll and it's me and
the homies coming out of me and the homies coming out of the cum pipe and it's and what is there an
image along with it some sort of uh claymation of a guy just for some reason he's got a drumstick
in his hand and he's just covered in some sort of substance. It's really goo.
You know, I was told as a child that when babies were born in movies,
they covered them in yogurt to make it look like they had just been born.
Any truth to that?
Dude, there's no way any of us know that.
You spent some time in Hollywood?
No, I didn't.
No, they just go – they take oatmeal baths with The Bachelor.
Ah, that makes sense.
That's a callback.
Check us out tomorrow.
Yeah, patreon.com slash strugglingbackpodcast.
We've got the After the Final Rose tonight, which I have to say, I'm pretty excited for After the Final Rose.
Yeah, I got caught up.
I watched last week's episode last night.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, don't need to talk about it.
You didn't have to.
I mean, legitimately, you didn't have to.
Yeah, if you wanted to completely skip last week's episode, you would have been fine.
Yeah, after the conversation with this old man, there wasn't much to speak about.
But that was a little intense, huh?
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Which pipe do you think he chooses?
Ooh, we're talking about Mike James?
His name is Matt.
He's a cum pipe guy. Literally, the finale is tonight, and Dylan still has no clue. His name is Matt. He's a cum pipe guy.
Literally, the finale is tonight, and Dylan still has no clue what his name is.
He's been doing this for like eight weeks.
I'm doing the Mike Jones bit.
That didn't feel bitty to me.
That felt like just an error.
That was so bitty, I promise.
You like some bitties, don't you?
Dude, I'm back.
Dude.
Man, I'm back.
You know, while I was away, I got probably between 1500 and 2000 dms people's
being like man the pod's not the same without you please get back these guys are just totally lost
i don't know what they're talking about like dave's not even funny when you're not there all
this stuff so uh i'm glad to be back so i'm here to save the pod can i see your phone and see this
see like how many you got of all the requests that you have?
I'll just show you after.
It's going to cost me.
Dude, that's weird.
It's going to take a while to go through all of them.
We actually got a lot of mail.
I checked the mail today.
There was a lot of letters.
People sent mail.
Yeah.
People were like, I felt so passionately I had to put this on paper.
Really?
Yeah.
How many did y'all get?
At least 100,000.
It's weird.
It's kind of crazy.
You get DMs when like our our
texts never go through to you every weekend it is weird yeah i don't know man maybe it's just like
i don't know what's going on but uh i am very happy to be back okay well which pipe are you
choosing i already said the gate pipe david still what's your problem dude i'm just asking people
want to know the piss pipe no one's choosing cool but know. The piss pipe. No one's choosing piss pipe.
It looks cool, but it's the piss pipe.
No one's doing a piss pipe.
For aesthetics alone, the gay pipe is the best one, for sure.
Absolutely.
But the cum pipe is pretty fun.
You got to think.
Hard to say.
Why is it trending under politics?
I don't know.
This has Reddit written all over it. Yeah, this is going to turn out to be like some, I don't know. This has Reddit written all over it.
This is going to turn out to be like some...
I don't know. Randy's already
vocally announced his choice.
Gross.
Let's do some... We got a big episode today.
It's the first day of Bit Madness.
Randy, your hair looks weird today.
Okay, I can't put a finger on it,
but something's off.
It'd be weird if you were just putting your fingers through randy's hair i mean why don't you calm down over there
cabo bob okay liquid death just just murder your thirst and oh sorry i'm catching bodies over here
while you're potting oh man you guys miss did? No. You realize I drink these. No. Did you miss me, Dave?
Okay, we can just move on.
He's going to.
No.
I mean, there was a couple times where I was like,
I got something I need to bounce off Dylan.
I guess I'll just wait.
Well, sometimes it's weird.
I'll take that.
Sometimes it's weird actually being able to talk about what we want to talk about
because we know we're not putting you out.
If something from early 2000s comes up relating to jackass or punk music or something like that.
Something I can't relate to.
Yeah, it's like you have the wrap it up box from Chappelle's show just ready to go when Dave and I start riffing.
And so when you're gone, it's kind of nice to see how the dynamic changes.
We actually had to edit our last pod because it went like two and a half hours because we didn't have you there to check out at the end.
Like, all right, guys, wrap it up. Yeah, i think it's time to go oh man uh okay that's
fit oh but like parks is here it's his spring break he's out there causing causing trouble
like yoloing right now bread he and bread's out there watching him yeah they're out there mobbing
they're talking about something anyway i'm sorry let's get some official business out of the way
because we got a loaded episode full of round one of Bit Madness.
First and foremost, go follow Circling Back Pod
and Watch Media on the Grom.
What the fuck just happened?
Liquid death.
Something with the liquid death.
I didn't touch that.
That was crazy.
Is there a ghost in the studio?
Dude.
Does liquid death have a ghost i mean probably i mean it's literally homicide all the bodies is catching so that was scary
also leave a review and five-star rating tell a friend about the podcast if you want to see
every episode that we put out on on the youtubes go to youtube.com slash wash media
mash that subscribe button.
I guess you can't fill out your brackets anymore.
Got to delete this from the programming notes.
Sorry.
Too little, too late.
Also, Patreon scheduled.
This week we're doing a Bachelor finale tomorrow.
R&B Radio.
Not sure when that's going to be out or if you guys are doing it tomorrow.
And voicemails on Fridays. And also, we're going to be sprinkling in some worst of episodes.
So if you have any bad stories of your weekends, maybe a bachelor party, maybe who knows,
maybe you just got absolutely smoked one weekend, go to patreon.com slash tricklingbackpodcast.
It's on the optimized tier.
You can also send in your stories worst of at washedmedia.com as well as just go to washedmedia.com.
And there's a form on there.
It makes it real easy to fill it all out.
We'll keep you anonymous.
I love Worst Of season.
It's fun.
It's so fun.
I'll say this.
I wanted to do more of these throughout quarantine,
but with how little people were going out,
the stories just weren't there.
I might put Worst Of right after Spooky Season
on my favorite Patreon episodes to do.
It's a good time.
There's so much fun.
By the way, this was me salt-dying Worst Of into the Patreon.
Just a sprinkle.
I was wondering what you were doing, and I glossed over it because I didn't know.
Salt Dave.
Yeah, and I was like, yeah, I don't really have much.
Well, he keeps popping up on Twitter because he keeps putting, he's, like, dicing up meat and putting it in dudes.
Is he still Salton's?
Yeah, but he's, like – he'll, like, put it on his knife and, like, feed it to, like, dudes' girlfriends at the table.
And the dudes are just like, dude, stop.
Stop feeding my wife.
Okay.
To be fair, if you take your significant other to dinner with Salt Bae there, something sexy is going to happen.
Yeah, and, like, I saw the video that was video that was the viral, viral video of that happening.
To be honest, I didn't think it was that bad.
No.
I mean, he was just—
He tried to do it to Amari Cooper.
He just oozes sex.
What do you expect is going to happen?
He tried to do it to Amari the other night, Amari Cooper, and he was like, nah.
He pointed at his buddies, and nobody at his table wanted it, so some kid came over and got it.
Salt Bae could feed me anything, and I'm going to eat it.
I don't care what it is. How do you feed me anything and I'm going to eat it.
I don't care what it is.
How do you not take him up on that offer to eat off the knife?
Which pipe?
I'll take any pipe.
I thought that was overblown, man.
I feel like if you're at Salt Bae's restaurant, you've got to be eating salt. It's part of the attraction.
It's the novelty of the Salt Bae sprinkling on salt and then feeding you his lamb.
I would leave very disappointed
if you didn't do something like that for me.
The least you can do when you're leaving
is throw that ass in a circle for Salt Bae.
Does he have tube steak on that menu?
Here.
Oh, man.
You guys got him back?
I don't think he does, Dylan.
Do they make Wagyu tube steak?
Dude.
If there's anybody that knows the answer to that, it's Dylan.
Speaking of throwing the ass in a circle, you watched the Grammys last night?
I watched a little bit of the Grammys.
Oh, my God.
I didn't watch any of them.
When it did that WAP performance, I can't believe that CBS could even show that stuff.
Did they censor it?
The lyrics. The lyrics, yeah. Everything. Did they censor it? The lyrics.
The lyrics, yeah.
Everything else, like, they did not hold back.
Wow.
I enjoyed the Grammys for the most part.
Can I say that?
I was talking to Brett earlier about the Grammys, and I have to say, based on how shitty the Golden Globes were.
Dude, they blew the Globes out of the water.
There better be some layoffs at the Golden Globes after what they did versus what the Grammys did.
The Globes went down the piss pipe.
It was bad.
Yeah.
They definitely chose piss pipe.
Yeah.
I don't know what they were doing.
Dude, the Grammys were actually pretty fun last night.
I didn't watch all of them, but I watched probably 70%.
Was it in person, virtual?
How'd they do it?
They had both.
Okay.
Not much virtual.
There were no weird Zoom calls or anything like that. They did a good job of getting the people they needed to play the roles that they
needed to do bruno mars did his uh little uh what's it what's it called his his soul who's
the guy he's doing the the funk soul thing with i don't know i was cooking dinner when that was
going on and i looked over and i was like man he does like cocaine doesn't he he crushed it
he always does he did uh He did a little Richard tribute.
Sick.
Very cool.
Dude, Dua Lipa, that's about the extent of my knowledge of her,
but she was there doing whatever it is she does.
She had a hot performance.
She had the TL horned last night.
People were totally horned up.
Very horned.
I need to dip into her catalog a little bit more is what I decided.
I'm not familiar.
I'm sure I know some of her songs. Dude, just take a leap of faith.
Okay.
David.
A leap of faith.
Can you do a little less right now?
Nope.
There's nothing left for me to do with that joke.
Y'all crushed it.
Good job.
Good job.
Why don't you go leap off a bridge?
No.
Okay.
You already used leap as a verb.
Did we gain an hour or was it a leap a year?
Those aren't even remotely similar.
The time did change, though, no?
It did.
We leaped an hour forward.
I'm sorry.
Are you guys a fan of that?
I like having more daylight,
so I have the option of playing a post-work night.
As a morning guy, morning person,
I hate this shit.
Yeah.
Night is more fun.
I like it when it gets dark earlier.
See, I like to have that extra hour.
See, for me, days feel longer when it gets dark earlier.
I know that sounds weird, but 6 o'clock, it feels like it's so much later, but oh, it's just 6 o'clock.
You know?
You've got the whole night ahead of you. Dude, it's bullshit.
It's bullshit.
I don't like how dark it is in the morning.
I still don't know why it changes. Why can't we just stick to one?
Some places do that. I feel like the
central time zone should just stick to one.
Central's the best. Arizona doesn't
do it, right? Didn't they get rid of it in
California? I might be off on that.
Arizona I think you're more accurate on.
I can't speak to Cali.
I think Arizona doesn't do it.
Correct.
Do you guys want to do the 50 Nifty United States song?
No.
Maybe the 13 original colonies.
Each individual state contributes a quality that is great.
Dylan, which pipe did the 13 original colonies choose?
The gay pipe.
Okay.
Yeah.
Obviously.
They're banding together.
I would really love the origins of said trend.
It's TBD because I cannot figure out what's going on.
Randy, that is your one job other than the other ones you regularly do.
Figure out why this is trending.
Let's recap this weekend in fun.
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Y'all know about Cuts.
Is Randy wearing Cuts right now?
Randy's always wearing Cuts, and he always looks so hot in it
because he's cut himself.
He's in an extra small Purdue polo.
Well, we need to upgrade him because, fellas,
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from your craft and wardrobe.
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Blending timeless style and comfort so that you look as good as you feel.
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and never settles for less, All in the sport of business.
I saw somebody in Mexico on their Instagram story getting some cuts off Dylan.
Looking pretty good in that nice little tee you were rocking.
Oh, thank you, David.
Yeah.
Pretty good, man.
Thanks for noticing.
Are you going through a cutting phase?
Yeah, I've been wondering about it.
With cuts?
Look at Will.
Damn.
They took a plain tee and they made it Tony Stark.
Oh, shit.
You kidding me?
I know what that means because I watched Game of Thrones.
Okay, that's very different.
I don't think that's...
That is not the...
You didn't buy Avengers for $20?
You crushed that, dude.
Thank you.
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The end result, what GQ calls the only shirt worth wearing.
Can you imagine being in another shirt and seeing the news that GQ said
that it's the only shirt worth wearing?
Might be time to pack it up.
Might as well just fold up.
Fold up.
That's good.
Was that a pun intended or no?
No, I think Dave said it right, and I just messed up, and somehow it worked.
I said pack it up.
You were good.
Okay.
Pack it up, pack it in.
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Well, I think we'd be remiss not starting off with Mr. Vacation himself over here.
Dylan Chivary.
Yep, back from vacay.
Look at this guy.
Yeah, I went to Cabo last week, players.
Really?
We didn't notice.
Missed the whole week.
It was a fantastic vacation, an all-time vacation.
So much fun.
Nothing went wrong.
You know how a vacation, something always just kind of goes wrong a little bit?
Something with travel or checking in.
Just nothing went wrong.
You have more travel problems
than most.
Yeah, you have the most.
From what I've learned.
Yes.
Remember that time
you spent the night in Scottsdale?
I do.
I do.
I've never felt more bad
for someone on vacation.
The time I brought my clubs
to Cabo
and didn't even take them
out of the bag.
Yeah.
It's kind of like the podcast.
It was kind of better
when he wasn't there.
Okay.
That's really...
You made a great entrance
and that's what matters.
This is my livelihood, okay?
It was an excellent vacation.
I honestly had forgotten you were on vacation.
No, because, like, I was thinking about it a lot,
and then, like, I think it was Saturday or Sunday,
like, Sally dropped a gram.
It just totally stole your thunder.
True.
And I was just like, damn, dude,
like, everybody was chatting about Dylan's vacay, and then Sally did it to him.
Which one did she drop?
You just got to check it out.
Oh, the.
Sally DeFries.
Oh, I know.
I don't know her.
You don't have to ask her.
Please don't follow my wife.
Yeah.
He might not, Will.
Knowing this guy's track record.
Ah, come on.
That's true.
Come on. I stayed at two different resorts knowing this guy's track record. That's true. Come on.
I stayed at two different resorts.
No one's doing that.
You don't see that happen anywhere.
Seems unnecessary.
The food was excellent.
The weather was perfect.
What was the best meal you had?
At Nobu.
Sushi.
It was incredible.
I got this spinach salad.
I can't even do it justice by explaining.
Wait a minute. It was incredible.
Dude, I asked Dylan at lunch
on Saturday. I was like, so what was the best meal
you had there? And he just said, dude, the spinach salad.
No, no. That was the first
part of the meal.
The salad was incredible.
I don't...
I cannot figure out how to make a spinach
salad taste good.
Okay, so Brittany joined me two days into the trip,
and I was talking so much about the salad.
We went back there, and I got it again, and we both shared it.
Stu's just going back for seconds on the salad.
She was like, dude, Dylan won't shut the fuck up about this spinach salad.
She was equally blown away by the salad.
She's like, oh, my God, what's going on with this?
I was like, I don't know.
It's magic.
It was incredible.
Was there meat in it?
No.
What?
I got to say, this sucks.
This answer sucks.
No, that's the first leg of the meal.
Well, just,
you spent too much time on said salad.
And then we got sushi, of course,
and then we got this ribeye
that had truffle butter
and it had fried onion
and jalapenos on it
and it was unbelievable.
Gosh, you're just doing the most.
Yeah.
That's what it was, all right?
I'm not trying to make a dirty joke here.
Did you eat any humpback whale?
No, man.
But gosh, when we switched over to the montage,
the second place we went to, humpbacks just everywhere.
I hear they stock them there so that it's
for the guests i know y'all peeped them on the ground they were on there now they're crazy man
did they breach oh big time breach david big time they're just throwing that ass in a circle they
were they're throwing those those little whale asses yeah whale tail ass situation it was awesome
awesome throwing tails for the boys the montage was sick
what what what was your drink of choice on set vacation oh uh really mixed it up probably green
juice yeah they had these really good smoothies every morning they were crazy they had a great
mix of protein and healthy fats the first restaurant we ate at the montage was called mescal
as you can imagine they have uh quite an assortment
of mescal on the menu and uh it was incredible everybody knows you're the mescal guy yes thank
you david any you want to name name drop oh gosh uh no okay but the one that i the one that i put
on my story at at de chivry was the best I've ever had in my life. It had a weird bottle.
It looked like a horn.
It was crazy.
It was so good.
Was it horned?
It was horned.
Did you blow on it?
I remember the bottle.
It looked like you're going to announce the invasion.
Pachuga, maybe it's called?
It was incredible.
Lechuga.
That's lettuce. I don't think they'd call a mezcal after lechuga everybody knows will's out on lettuce fuck lettuce dude the way
he described it when i ordered it i thought it was gonna be i thought it was gonna like destroy
my bank account but it was uh reasonable did that stimmy hit mid uhvacay? Stimmy didn't hit. It didn't. I didn't see any memes.
How many pesos is that worth?
I don't know.
Pesos.
I don't know how it...
I got my stimmy in a shitashi.
Oh, really?
How many shitashis did you get?
0.8.
Oh, that's a fraction of a cent, so that's not very much.
Right.
It's pennies on the dollar.
Right.
I got mine in most coin.
What's that?
I don't know.
What else do you want to know
about my vacation?
I don't know.
Tell us more about the salad
or whatever.
We got hammer drunk at the pool.
Oh, why?
Oh, dude.
You drink, man.
That's sick.
We got a massage.
Brittany was very kind enough
to get a massage for us.
Like a couple's massage.
It was awesome.
And then we just got hammered at the pool.
It was great.
It was a great day.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You did massage then, hammered?
Mm-hmm.
Wow.
Massage first thing in the morning.
No, that's not what I meant, Randy.
I'm talking about...
As a third party on a mic, it's what it felt like you meant.
We took tequila...
I'm just saying, normally they tell you to hydrate.
Right.
I was worried about your body. How's your body feel uh not great okay yeah yeah the body's still kind
of recovering you look like you went down the piss pipe so dave and i had an issue with one
of your rooms uh-huh like on paper swimming up to the the pool seems cool sick seems cool
in practice i don't think it's there for me.
Why?
Because Dave and I were talking about when you're on vacation and you get a fit off and you're really working this fit,
you've got to walk to the pool and start nodding at people, give a hello, whatever, let people see it.
You, you're just secluded from everything.
You're cutting off the runway fit strut.
So that wasn't even the main pool.
You maybe have like a coffee from the restaurant there.
Yeah.
A mug from your room that's got like the Nespresso in it.
That was the second most popular pool on the property.
Okay.
So we got to walk to the main pool area, which is where there's a big hot tub.
It was a scene, man.
We did plenty of strutting.
Don't worry. It would have been tight if they had a pipe you could jump down and it would take was a scene, man. We did plenty of strutting. Don't worry.
It would have been tight if they had a pipe you could jump down
and it would take you to the other pool.
Like what kind of pipe?
Like a pool pipe.
You have to choose.
Okay.
The swim-up suite was so dope.
Did you piss in the pool much?
A little bit.
Yeah, sure.
I'm on vacation.
I'm not cleaning it.
God.
I got to pee some, too. Makes mix it up just yeah you're like I can't I gotta throw him off my scent I saw your dog in that the
wagyu glizzy like he wasn't a real thing I heard y'all dogging it we didn't say
it wasn't real apparently ass that guy told me to get one like I just don't
care dude it was so are you gonna do asstec guy like that i mean i'm not
doing him like that i appreciate that he's trying to get me to like elevate my glizzy game but like
i don't need wagyu glizzies this this i would try it this young lady walked by while i was eating it
she goes is that the wagyu glizzy i said yes and it's incredible so she got one too and then did
you take off your sunglasses and then she went oh my oh, my, are you El Glissadente?
We held up our glizzies to each other
from across the pool.
It was one of those.
It was great.
Really?
Yeah.
Is that where it ended?
You did a glizzy cheers.
We did a gliss cheers.
Yeah, it was great.
Did she eat hers with her hands,
unlike you?
I don't remember how she did it.
It was dope.
Just a dope trip, man.
Dylan's like, one bite, everybody knows the rules you just it's not that's not he doesn't even bite it though one swallow everybody's not what
happened no well it looked delightful it was cool it really looked nice it looked like you had good
weather i was asking you for like hella photos and i feel like you weren't sending as many as i
wanted i'm not i'm not big photo guy i. I have to like remind myself to take pics of the stuff during – we did like a little
photo shoot because we befriended this older couple and the woman was like, all right,
y'all go in the pool.
I'm going to just start taking pics.
She took like a million pics.
Well, I've told you my app idea.
Yeah.
It's not on the same level as Dave's but I still think Trip Friends is a good app idea.
Tell me about Trip Friends.
You put up a couple's pic of yourself on your profile, and you say your interests, age range, whatever.
And then when you go to a hotel and you're maybe bored one night – because you know when you go to a hotel and you're maybe a little bored with each other because you see your significant other every single day?
It's like, you know what?
Maybe it'd be fun to go have a random dinner,
like a sloppy drink at the hotel bar with some other people.
And then you hop on, you're like, oh, there's some Trip Friends here.
Can I tell you, Will, this sounds like a swingers app.
That's the thing.
That's the thing.
So that's what we're combating over at Trip Friends LLC.
Trip Friends.
It's that we're trying to figure out how to make this app in a way
that deters people from fucking each other's wives or husbands. so why swaps gonna happen once we figure out that part of it we're we're launching
well yeah that's what i'm saying you might
get some seed money might launch launch all right dave what'd you do this week you might go down
the cum pipe okay fella i didn't really do anything i saw y'all at matt's on saturday i took we took
roads to his first uh his first restaurant his first anything really outside of like
pediatrician and like our house and he did great as everybody's always said they're like oh this
is the best time to go to like a patio a restaurant um when the kids you know just gonna sleep the whole time and he pretty much did it was seamless i i was dude i
had anxiety because like i i fear being the guy with the screaming baby that everybody's like
rolling their eyes out like oh who's this guy and you're just like i'm sorry and most people are
cool but i know me there's probably a time in my life where i was the guy like oh get this kid out
of here i'm trying to trying to drink a knockout.
It's nothing against the kid.
It's just, you know, when you go to a restaurant, normally you don't want crying.
I had a concern.
When we made the plan, I was like, man, hopefully Rhodes ain't having a moment at the restaurant
because then we're just going to be sitting there like, oh, we're trying to control it.
Oh, where the people like, no, it's okay.
Well, he was perfect.
It was a very loud room.
Yeah.
I think that helped.
So even if he was having a freak out, it wouldn't have mattered really.
But it was great.
We got to see a number of our friends there, including you guys, Barrett Dudley.
It was great to link.
It was a little birthday, a little post-birthday celebration for Micah as well.
It was good to see him.
He had a fresh fade.
He added me on this new app.
I don't know if you guys have accepted his invite yet, but I need to hop on there.
Yeah, I can't wait.
Then yesterday, what did I do yesterday?
I just watched golf.
Can I add one more thing to mine?
Yeah, dude.
So we landed.
It's a Dylan show.
We flew in and drove straight to Matt's on Friday night for dinner
yeah why'd you do that
because we're loco
we're fun like that
you were just in
Mexico mode still
we're walking in
and I
I'm talking to Brittany
I'm like
so this is kind of like
ground zero for
listeners
like
if I'm gonna
if people are gonna come up
it's gonna be here
just
I wasn't trying to sound cool
I was trying to prepare her
she's very new to like
this world it sounds like you're trying to sound cool I was I was trying to sound cool i was trying to prepare her that she's very new to like this world it sounds like you're trying to sound cool i was i was just
trying to i was just trying to prepare for what might happen anyway things are going fine and
then the check's about to come we're about to leave and this dude stumbles up to the table
and he's hammered drunk and he's listening right now i'm sure uh but this group of guys flew in
from seattle one of their birthdays re Reese and I forget the other names.
I'm sorry.
Todd.
It was just really funny.
She got introduced to some listeners,
and it was quite a scene for a minute there.
That's awesome.
I'm glad you interrupted mine for that.
It was funny.
No, that's about it, Will.
I didn't do much else.
You're still kind of moving in.
Yeah.
Getting situated.
Yeah, I'm not trying to throw shade at anyone that I live with,
but I will say there's only been one person in my household who has unpacked anything.
Who is it?
And I'll say this, I'm fully unpacked so like it just
kind of you know that leave yeah is it rosie she's not unpacking yeah rosie's just taken for
fucking ever now sally actually did she did finally do some unpacking yesterday so we're a little bit
more moved in but it's kind of weird we're in that weird stage of moving somewhere where you're just
waiting for months on end for a fucking couch to arrive yeah i've been there. It's going to be here at the end of the month,
but I'm very tired of this couch.
I'm just tired of waiting for it.
So I just did that.
I don't know.
I watched a lot of soccer.
I watched a lot of golf.
I just didn't really do much else.
I didn't have much on the docket.
I'm trying to think.
Like, yeah, it just wasn't a big trademark weekend for your boy.
Lunch was wonderful.
I ate at Lambert's Barbecue
the first time I've ever
been to that restaurant
for dinner.
I'd only previously
been for brunch.
It was fine.
It was fine.
You're not a fan
of the brisket.
I thought the brisket
was actually pretty damn good.
The pork rib.
No one's been against
Lambert's for a long time.
I can remember this
from back in the day.
Pork rib sucks.
Damn.
All time bad pork rib there.
I don't need, like, white tablecloth barbecue place.
I didn't feel like it was.
To be honest, I didn't have that vibe when I was there.
Okay.
How was the spinach salad?
See, that's the thing.
I knew I was out when I sat down.
I got to find out what's on the spinach salad.
Dude, you know what I did get, though, for a salad day?
Wedge?
Yeah.
We split the wedge.
Fuck yes.
We split that fucking wedge.
The burnt end queso was also, it was delightful.
Oh, that sounds great.
It was wonderful, yeah.
It's not really how you should start your meal before eating a bunch of barbecue,
this burnt end queso, but it was whatever.
And then, yeah, I just averaged about two steam showers a day all weekend,
and outside of that, it was a good time.
I need that steam shower.
I think it might be affecting my health.
Positively? Negatively.
I think I'm extremely dehydrated from taking so many
steam showers and I think it's really affecting
my energy levels.
Maybe.
Hard to say. I hope not.
Hard to say.
On the menu it's just baby spinach salad with dry miso.
Ooh, I do like miso.
I never had dried miso.
That's what it's called.
Doesn't sound like, I don't know.
There's got to be something else.
I'm telling you, dog.
It'll blow your shit.
Gross.
Okay.
Your mind.
It'll blow your mind.
Damn, that already happened to me after Sweet Green the other week.
That's a food poisoning joke for those keeping track at home.
Yeah.
Is it time?
Is it time for Bit Madness?
It's time.
Let's get into it.
Round one of Bit Madness.
If you're new to the pod or if you just kind of don't really pay attention,
Bit Madness is something we do every March since Circling Back's inception.
We take all the bits that have happened on here and we kind of go through them.
We put them against each other.
If I'm not mistaken, the bracket this year was created by backers, for backers, and we're going to head through it.
Our first, what's it called?
I don't know.
You're the sports boy.
Our first region is the rowback region.
They didn't, all these regions are not sponsored.
Will called me the
sports boy you're the sports boy you're the sports boy and uh should we just get into it let's go
fill out your brackets at home we're gonna bust some brackets do we want the number one the first
matchup number one seed didn't they used to call you that in high school? Versus the number 16 seed, mother of three who graduated in 2009.
Is this going to be a 116 upset?
I'm just going to say it from the beginning.
How did didn't they used to call you that in high school end up as the overall number one seed?
That is a bit that's been around for years and years.
Like since year one of us.
How is it just now making the tournament?
There's no way this is the first time it's made the tournament, right?
No.
Oh, no.
No, there's no way it's the first time.
Number one overall, that's way too high.
I'll say it.
I stand my mother's a three who graduated in 2009.
Are you going to vote?
I'm voting for that one.
I'm going upset city day one.
I'm going to put the onus on Dylan.
Didn't they used to call you that in high school?
The onus on Dylan.
Didn't they used to call you that in high school?
I really love Mother 3 who graduated in 2009.
What was the record player?
Makes sense.
The $300 record player.
What a weird way to describe our listeners.
I don't know why. What was the record player part?
That they have $300 record players as well.
How does that even make sense?
That's a very specific reference.
He's talking about someone.
Why do you have to go at the neck of people with record players?
I'll tell you what.
I'm going to vote through.
Didn't actually call you that in high school.
However, it's not making it out of this region.
That's a very weak one.
We get a copy and paste job.
Dude, we got Randy over here just doing live, live Photoshop edits on the bracket.
This is amazing.
In-game betting.
Next one.
Nine, put that pen down, Randy.
Did Randy add this one in himself?
And number eight, drinking one, parentheses one, beer.
So the put that pen down, Randy, is Randy during episodes writes down timestamps for things that he will be entertaining or funny enough to put on the worst of or best of.
Yeah.
Whenever he starts laughing, he just instinctively.
Instinctively.
What goes there?
I don't know.
You guys have both said each words and I have no clue which one it is still.
Yeah.
It's one of those, I'm sure.
Somebody's right.
He does it with his instinct.
Yes.
I'm going to go ahead and vote.
Drinking one beer.
Sorry, Randy.
Oh!
Oh!
Woo!
I'm going to go ahead and just say it.
We're drinking one beer.
We're drinking one beer.
Come on.
No offense, Randy, but anytime we actually tell Randy to put the pen down,
we don't actually mean it.
No.
Well, sometimes we mean it, but most of the time not.
You have to go drinking one beer.
Oh, here we go.
Now we're talking.
This is the matchup that people have been waiting for.
This is a fun matchup right here.
The 5-12 matchup, as everyone knows, is always a little scary for the five.
This is where you can see some upset.
I believe ongoing is supposed to be one word, but it's whatever.
Good job, Randy.
I don't know if that was Randy's fault.
It's number five, Mocha Clappuccino versus number 12, an ongoing global pandemic.
By the way, shouts to whoever gave me the Cole Campbell shout out the other night.
Wasn't me.
Don't look this way. Definitely was not me. Don't know who that was. You have to pay for those.
Yeah.
Like 20... I bet it was Micah.
20 Canadian dollars. It was either
Micah or KJ. I bet
speaking of... I don't know, man.
The Mocha Clappuccino himself.
Yeah. Self-described.
The Mocha Clappuccino himself. Yeah. Self-described. The mocha clappuccino is just so good.
I mean, you can see he claps cheeks.
Right.
Right.
I'm voting for mocha clappuccino.
How can you not?
Man, ongoing global pandemic is an interesting one.
Because, I mean, it's true.
We are still in an ongoing global pandemic.
It's ongoing.
It's worldwide, yeah.
This pandemic has gone global.
I think we all know that.
But you know what else has gone global?
KJ.
The Mocha Clappuccino himself.
So MC moves on.
For me.
For me.
That's all it takes.
You guys both voted that.
But I will say my my vote was
going to mocha clappuccino pretty much every single time okay i also don't think that's how
you spell clappuccino um but you know we're not here to edit randy as we all know like you guys
know it's photoshop doesn't have a uh sound or sorry what am i saying a spell check. It's a little difficult.
Number 13 versus number 4. Number 13, you gotta
think, versus number 4.
Seinfeld
soundbite.
You gotta think.
Seinfeld soundbite's winning.
See what I did there?
Yeah, I see what you did there.
You gotta think. No, I'm going Seinfeld I see what you did there. Okay.
You got a thing.
No, I'm going Seinfeld soundbite.
It's too good.
Plus, that's an all-time show for me.
Man, Dylan loves Seinfeld.
He really does, man.
He really does.
He's watching it on the plane.
Are you just cracking up on the plane?
Are you kicking the seat in front of you just laughing laughing at Seinfeld episodes? I love that show.
It's my all-time favorite sitcom.
Hey, dude, it's a soup.
It's Soup Nodgy Guy.
No one talks about it, but Dylan's actual favorite sitcom is King of Queens.
No, but it's not a bad show.
It's T-Man's fave.
Is it?
Yeah, not even close.
He loves King of Queens, dude.
But it's not a bad show.
It's T-Man's fave.
Is it?
Yeah, not even close.
He loves King of Queens, dude.
If instead of doing Worst Of after Bachelor is over and we started just doing rewatches of something,
T-Man would be begging for us to do King of Queens.
I love that.
I've been trying to watch a little Mad About You lately at the crib, and Sally's just not having it.
Well, stop.
That's just stints. Oh, you don't like Paul Reiser.
Paul Reiser's a cuck.
You don't like Paul Reiser. You doniser's a cuck. That's just stints.
You don't like Paul Reiser.
You don't like Helen Hunt?
Academy Award winner Helen Hunt?
Neither one do anything for me.
I like her brother better.
Seinfeld soundbite moves on.
100% moves on.
Not even close.
You've got to think.
Is that only okay?
This game was never close.
I like you've got to think.
Yeah, but should you
gotta think be... Whatever.
This is the matchup no one
wants to pick. Oh, no. Okay, first
of all, his name is Parks, P-A-R-K-S,
not P-A-R-K.
Wow, Randy's just killing it.
Don't flame Randy for this. No.
So we have number three, Horny Police.
That apostrophe is going to ruin
my day. Thank you.
Why would there be an apostrophe there?
Park Chevrolet.
Yes.
Dude, you have suspect.
But it should be an S after the apostrophe as well.
No.
Why?
It's optional.
But in going along with the possessive of someone's name, I think it's a weird move to ignore it.
It depends how you say it.
Do you say Parks' dinosaur costume or do you say Parks' dinosaur costume?
I don't say Parks' dinosaur costume because that would indicate that there's no apostrophe.
That's not true.
You know, he told me at lunch the other day that his favorite dinosaur is the poopasaurus.
Really?
No, I think I told him that.
Did he correct you? He goes, that'sasaurus rex. Really? No, I think I told him that. Did he correct you?
He goes, that's not a real dinosaur.
We asked him at lunch the other day what his favorite dinosaur was
and he just said all of them. He likes them all.
Just celebrates the entire species.
The entire catalog, yeah. Just loves every one.
What a guy. Even the bad ones.
This is tough and I want to
be the first so it doesn't come down to me.
As much as I love a good dino costume,
horny police is never going to not be funny to me.
I'm going to be out of the content game, retired,
and I'm just going to look at my Twitter feed,
and I'm going to see the doge dog or whatever it is with the boy.
It's going to make me laugh.
His dinosaur costume was really dope, but, yeah, I can't vote down horny police. It's going to make me laugh. His dinosaur costume was really dope. But yeah, I can't vote down horny police.
It's too funny.
Did they pay you a visit in Cabo?
The horny federales?
They didn't show up.
Los federales jones?
I was well behaved.
The horny policia?
I didn't break any.
Los federales jonitos.
I didn't break any horny laws, so they stayed away from me.
I don't know.
Are you sure?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
I didn't even get to vote. Can I vote first next time? Because I haven't know. Are you sure? Mm-hmm. Okay. I didn't even get to...
Can I vote first next time?
Because I haven't even gotten...
Yeah, I wish you would start.
It was not even getting to talk.
Don't get me wrong.
His costume was Torch, but I was always going horny police anyway, so it didn't really matter.
It's fine.
Ooh.
This is where things get...
See, this is where things get weird.
We got Stella, number 11 seed, versus number 6 seed.
Go ahead, Will.
Bang!
That's good.
It's Mike Breen.
Bang.
Bang.
What do you got, Will?
Unfortunately, I stand the dog, but, like, Bang was such a mainstay of so many things over the last year
that I don't know if I can get away from it.
Also, I have yet to see Rosie's name on this entire bracket.
And so if you think that I'm going to vote for someone else's dog when my dog didn't even make the cut, get the fuck out of here.
This is bit madness, right?
Is this bit madness?
Is that what we're doing?
That's what they're calling it, Dylan.
Because dinosaur costume and Stella, while I love both of them, are not bits.
Stella's your dog.
Yeah, they're not bits.
Are you about to vote against your dog?
Stella's just straight up my dog, and I love her to death.
She's great.
I'm going bang.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
Well, let the record show I voted for Stella.
I mean, Stella's great, but she's not a bit.
How'd she do the daycare?
She did great.
They have a pool there, I guess?
She was swimming like a crazy woman.
Yeah, they like, Rainey loves that place.
Yeah. It's good. Got a little spot under her eye where it's like missing some hair. She was swimming like a crazy woman. Yeah, they like... Randy loves that place. Yeah. It's good.
Got a little spot under her eye where it's like
missing some hair. She got in a... What?
I don't know what happened.
I need... Well, they better... Did she get
sucker punched at daycare? She may have caught
it on a fence or something. I don't know.
It's not bad. It's not bothering her.
She's good. All right, well, let me know.
She actually told you? No, Dad,
it's not bothering me. Dude, do not
tell... Do not tell Randy.
Dog Randy.
We've got a number 7 versus number 10 seed here.
The number 7 seed is, as this is the only way she can eat fajitas.
Oh, man.
Versus number 10, kickback apres nose beers.
For those of you not familiar with, as this is the only way she can eat fajitas,
it is from the Dallas, Texas restaurant Mico Sina.
Yes, the infamous Dallas Tex-Mex spot.
Where some guy put his wife on front street.
And an absolute embarrassing picture of her just being so just put out by the situation.
She was so over that meal.
She hadn't even touched her fajitas.
My favorite part about it was that she clearly got pissed off about the whole thing and like made him delete the tweets and stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was perfect because like not only did he not accomplish what he wanted to accomplish by like exposing this restaurant using his podcast account, but then his wife got pissed at him too.
It's like, dude, how many L's are you trying to take in one fucking meal?
Totally embarrassed his wife.
I forgot he had a pod.
I forgot there was that.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
No, he tried to use his pod cloud.
I respect that.
If one of you ever did that from the main account,
like our circling back account, I would be so annoyed.
I'd be like, are you really trying to expose a Tex-Mex restaurant?
That's a Randy.
That's a human Randy move.
Was he trying to get people on his side here to take down this restaurant?
What was the point of this?
It was like the second day you could even eat during the pandemic at a restaurant.
It was. the second day you could even eat during the pandemic at a restaurant. It was.
You're right.
And also, Mi Casino, while certainly not the best restaurant in Dallas, it's still an institution.
And if you think that them being a little lazy with the shredded cheese is going to get people to boycott Mico, that ain't happening.
Not as long as there's a Mambo Taxi on that menu.
I still never had a Mambo Taxi.
They're good, but when you start thinking about sugar and stuff, it could really...
I hear things get pretty dicey when you get to number five.
I've never made it that far.
Don't.
Oh, wow.
He's doing this.
Mambo number five.
I am going to vote for what I think will go very far throughout this entire thing,
as this is the only way she can eat fajitas.
Dave, go ahead and vote.
For me, it's absolutely
fajitas.
This is never not funny.
This could be referenced on a random
Friday afternoon on my
TL out of context and it will
never not make me laugh.
I also am going to go fajitas here, but it was
close for me. I really enjoy a kickback, operate, nose beer.
This was a tough matchup.
Yeah.
It was tough.
But you got to vote fajitas through.
Yeah.
It should have been lower than a seven seed.
Lower, higher, closer to one.
How do you say it?
You want to be a low seed.
Okay.
Can we get much higher?
Our last matchup in the rowback bracket, Vancouver Banff versus Gattany Schwab.
Okay.
Gattany Schwab is a two seed.
This is.
I got something to say about Vancouver Banff.
I think it's run its course a little bit, that joke.
I think we're getting towards the end of it.
Yeah.
It's not a bad thing.
I've had a lot of fun with it.
It should have been a lower seed, I will say, as much mileage as we get out of it.
Like, I'm thinking like an 8 or a 9.
But I think this shows that we don't need to roast bread anymore
for his Canadian knowledge.
The fact that it's a 15 seed as voted
by the people means that I don't even think
it's going to be in the tournament next year.
They're going to get suspended for paying players.
Got any swipes? There'll be an
NIT team playing flounder.
I gotta go with Got any swipes? There'll be an NIT team playing flounder. I got to go with got any swipes.
I was admittedly down on swipes when the phrase was first said.
You know when you're on the outside of an inside joke?
That's how I felt when swipes immediately started taking off.
You warmed up to it pretty quickly, though.
It didn't take long before the next episode.
I was like, well, swipes is sticking around.
Now we're all swiping.
I'm going swipes. I'm going going swaps i thought you retired from swiping
what like on the dating apps sorry come on dude my mom is so bad at texting
all moms are bad she just tested like we're in a group chat she barely uses her phone she's in one
in a group for baby pics. She just typed F.
She crushed that.
Yeah, she did. F's in the chat, man.
She's telling me to frat on because I will.
Yeah, my dad sent my sister – or sorry, sent Sally a text the other day,
and he structured it like an email.
Hi, Sally.
Next line.
It's like, Dad, you don't have to announce yourself either.
That's cute, dude.
Yeah.
Hey, it's Ross. Okay, Dad, you don't have to announce yourself either. That's cute, dude. Yeah. That's cute.
Hey, it's Ross.
Okay.
Dad, chill out.
What's the next region?
This is the Visi region.
Oh, wow.
The Visi region.
You know what?
Let's do an ad read real quick just for funsies.
I heard y'all dogging my Visi, Visi, Visi, can't you see thing.
No, we weren't.
We were saying how much they liked it.
No, that was another podcast you listened to.
No, it wasn't us, man.
Pretty sure it was this one.
In life,
you have to make
a lot of hard choices.
Dylan, I mean,
Dylan's been making
hard choices
all over the place lately.
It's like,
oh, should I stay
at this dope hotel
or should I go
to this doper hotel?
Yeah, yeah, it's tough.
But luckily for you,
the doper hotel
had something
that the other one didn't
and it was dope shit
and so you decided
to do that.
The option with something extra always makes your choice a little easier.
And as the first hard seltzer with antioxidant and vitamin C,
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So go grab yourself a drink that can do both with Vizzy Hard Seltzer.
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Love.
I've seen a lot of people talking about the new Flaves.
I've yet to try any of them.
I know that's on me.
I get it.
I can't wait to get in there and try them.
You know what I'm doing this weekend?
I'm going to get Vizzy.
Joshick.com.
Don't stop.
To the.
No.
No one's going to convince me that's not as bad as mine.
I mean, we need a bracket of Vizzy bits.
Dude, that had to have been better than his.
I at least sounded like Sean A. Paul.
Yeah, you kind of did.
Oh, my gosh if bone if bone thugs ever hits me up and be like hey you want to join the group i'm gonna be busy
bone i like that i like that a lot i don't know i can hit you hey man are you still doing the
podcast thing how do y'all even make money by the way do you want to join bone i'll be like yes
yeah busy ball are they still together?
They tour.
I don't think they're really making new music,
but occasionally
they'll pop up.
That's probably
a good move for them.
Their back catalog slaps.
Very good.
Vizzy's the first
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They're just anti-em.
Oxidants, you're out of here.
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There's this fruit.
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It's also called acerola.
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I always thought that oranges had the most vitamin C you could get.
Nope.
It's an acerola.
Bye-bye.
One seed acerola.
Welcome.
Last summer was a summer of Izzy, as this summer is as well.
And they only had four flavors last summer.
This summer, we have an embarrassment of riches. In April, I think they might have already
even released these. I don't even know if we have to wait until April. Vizzy is launching
its own lemonade, hard seltzer, and four delicious flavors, watermelon, peach, strawberry, and
strawberry.
One of our listeners on Twitter has an ongoing ranking system of Vizzy flavors.
Good. We need that.
And I'm following along very closely.
Well, they also have pineapple, mango, black cherry, lime,
strawberry, kiwi, blueberry, pomegranate, Dave,
which they're going to start making in Tall Boys.
Or no, black cherry, limes in the Tall Boys.
I don't know.
Just go follow them on social and they'll give you all the updates.
It changes a lot.
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I can't wait to try that one.
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You must be 21 or older. Now let's
do it. Go to the bracket.
Young Randy.
Oh, wow. This is
this one could get ugly.
Two versus a 15.
Damn. Randy's a 15. Damn.
Randy's happy hour sign-offs against the 15 seed.
Popping top.
Is popping top enough of a bit to get on here?
I want to vote for it over Randy just to put Randy in his place a little bit
because he's been getting cocky around the office.
Completely agree.
But I don't know if popping top is at the point where it should be, especially given
that big arms are out at this point.
That's a good point.
It would be humiliating if Randy went out in the first round.
Would he be able to recover from it?
No.
It would almost be better if we just voted it to the championship and then had him lose
in the last one.
No, that would give him too much respect.
I'm going with number two, Randy's happy hour sign-offs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fine, whatever.
Put him through.
Begrudgingly.
Yeah, I guess you can have that one, Randy.
Number ten versus number seven.
Number ten is Brett's geography takes, which should be classified as a bit, right?
Because he's not actually this bad at geography, is he?
Oh.
Versus naming kids after public infrastructure.
It's funny, man.
It's funny.
It's funny.
Wait, is...
She might need bridges to freeze.
Is parks infrastructure, technically?
There's a better way to describe describe what that is i like public
infrastructure i have to go with number seven naming kids after public infrastructure
but nothing beats when brett has a geography take like anytime i actually trust brett very
much with these things but anytime that he says something there's a major part of me inside that
hopes that he's wrong yes oh, absolutely. The thing about Brett,
he's so confident in his delivery when he says
stuff that I never doubt
what he's saying. And then if people are like,
oh, that's just way wrong, man.
That's why he's dangerous. Dude, I gotta go Brett's G.O.
I think that's why he's a good sales guy.
He's just like, he's a great, confident
delivery. Brett shoots first,
asks questions later. Like once it's
pointed out that what he said was not right.
Yeah, for sure.
So the onus is on you, Dylan.
Because I named naming kids after public infrastructure,
and Dave said Brett's geography takes.
Ooh, I'm going to go infrastructure on this.
Wow.
Sorry, Brett.
It's fun.
Hey, Brett, take a seat.
Number six versus number 11, working song lyrics into conversation
versus number 11, Frat Dave.
Brett, we haven't seen Frat Dave in a minute.
I know, and to be honest, I think that's kind of upsetting.
I don't think Frat Dave has run its course yet.
I don't know what you want me to say, man.
I mean, he's been trying to focus more on school.
He's trying to get a GPA up.
He knows he's got to apply to law school in the fall.
Didn't they figure out a way to not include his GPA on the last –
Yeah, they kept him off the active roster because he's dragging the chapter down.
He's bringing it down.
Yeah.
I'm going with –
What's fratting?
An upset baby, Fred Day from downtown.
Wow.
Oh, my gosh.
I'm going to go working song lyrics in the conversation.
You would.
Even though I'm never the one that is able to do it.
It's always you guys.
No, you do it.
I still enjoy it a lot when y'all do it.
Yeah, everybody says that.
Onus is on you,
frat Dave.
Well, that's just odd
because if I vote
for the 11 seed
frat Dave,
then it's like,
oh, you're just voting
on yourself.
It's okay.
Yeah, but it is frat
to vote for yourself.
That's right.
That's right.
A little self-dealing here.
Number 11 moves on.
Frat Dave.
Let's fucking go.
Congratulations. One shining moment. Let's fucking go. Congratulations.
One shining moment.
Do you think you can reach out to him at some point and maybe talk to him about coming in for an appearance during the madness?
We can get in here.
We got number 14.
Mega tough scene versus three.
Papa Roach, which I believe Papa Roach is alluding to the suffocation, no breathing.
Suffocation.
Exactly.
Papa Roach has had quite the glow up in the last six months.
We started doing that bit before, like, it started.
Okay, I was going to say, this doesn't feel like something that has been a recent thing.
No.
Mega Tough's scene was really strong in its heyday.
Yeah.
It's been a minute since it's been super popular.
Yeah.
But when we were saying that, and it was a major joke on the tl it was a good good bit and for that reason i'm going mega
tough scene which is about which is what it's going to be for papa roach here in a sec
you know i'm saying i don't think i don't think we've given mega tough scene like the treatment
of ruining it whereas with papa ro, it's almost expected at this
point when someone says something
that ends in Asian.
It's like just expected at this point.
And I don't like it when the bit becomes expected.
When everyone's racing to go
say the same thing, it's like, alright, maybe this is
still discourse.
Speaking of, did you guys see that America's Cup this weekend?
You did. If Papa Roach wins,
it's because of short-term memory.
I mean, it's fresh in the brain.
I'm going with MTS, Mega Tough Scene.
Let's go.
Let's fucking go.
Sorry, Dave.
No onus for you.
Let's fucking go.
Hey, your onus just threw out the window.
Damn.
Sorry, Papa.
Number four versus number 13.
Ants go marching, which it's still not called that, if I'm not mistaken.
Isn't it just ants marching?
And Dylan not being able to cook.
That's rude.
I can't cook, for the record.
I hate this matchup because I want to vote for both.
This should not be a four versus a 13.
Dylan makes a great spinach salad.
I do.
Man, if y'all had this, I gotta find my good
till this salad.
Dylan not be able to cook
moves on for Dave.
It moves on for Will too.
What?
I don't want to,
I don't want to get rid
of Vance Marching,
but at the same time,
I don't either, but
I have to admit,
it wasn't a bit
that I came up with.
When I put this
on the soundboard,
it was a tribute
to Chris Chris
from the ticket.
Thank you.
And unfortunately,
the same day that I put it on the board, they released a Chris Chris
that day.
And so I was like, oh, yeah, we said to it was like, it was like, oh, cool.
This bit that I was going to, you know, take from them is now just still going on with
them.
People like it.
Can we do one?
It makes me happy.
Can we do one last one for a bit madness?
It doesn't mean you have to get rid of it, though, does it?
We're not going to get rid of it, but I think we should just do one farewell one.
OK, moment of silence.
I like how you take the time to edit your drops at the
end, so it cuts off at a good
spot, whereas I'm really shitty at that.
Yeah, Dave just has to kill the volume on it, because
it keeps running. I'm quite anal about doing that.
Yeah, I wish I had that attention
to detail. No, Dylan not being able to. Yeah, I wish I had that attention to detail.
No, Dylan not being able to cook is,
I think it's the rightful winner,
but I will say the other day,
Dylan texted me after he got back from the trip and was like, hey, I'm cooking some chicken.
What do you take it off at?
Because he was saying that he takes his off at 140
and then it cooks a little bit
because he wants a medium rare.
And I was like, dude, chicken's different than beef.
Yeah, I remember that conversation.
That was a good one.
Thanks for all your help, by the way, Dave.
Yeah, I didn't want you to get salmonella.
I didn't.
Yeah, thank you.
That's a turkey, not a chicken.
Yeah, that's not chicken.
Number 12 versus number 5.
Because as you guys know, 12 versus 5s are always tough.
I'm going to say that for every 12 versus 5.
Gardner Snake Dave versus Dylan hitting the slow.
GSD. We haven't heard from him. We point out that Gardner is spelled? Gardner, Snake, Dave versus Dylan hitting the slow. GSD.
We haven't heard from him in years.
We point out that Gardner is spelled incorrectly on here, but that's okay.
It's not a big deal.
Well, that was part of the bit.
I think that was...
Gardiner.
Whatever.
Gardner.
I don't like that you're being the grammar guy during a thing.
Our backers made this.
I would have let it go, but the P-A-R-K apostrophe S is really grinding my teeth.
Honestly, it just rubbed me the wrong way.
I want to fight somebody. I would have let it go, but the P-A-R-K apostrophe S is really grinding my teeth. Honestly, it just rubbed me the wrong way when you hit me with,
it's optional about Parks' name.
Like, shut the fuck up.
It is.
Rhodes is in the same position.
Yeah, so is my last name, Dylan.
And I always do an extra S because I'm not a reckless, lazy bastard.
It's fine.
Jeez.
What, David?
Dylan hitting the slopes.
Is this about me skiing because I went to Breckenridge recently?
Maybe.
I think it might be.
Okay.
I love to ski.
I really do.
Pretty good at it.
Five seed, huh?
Okay.
This is a strong matchup.
Gardner, Snake, Dave, I mean, I think people enjoyed it.
Hadn't heard from them in a while.
Dylan hitting the slopes, I mean.
It's every weekend.
It's every weekend with this fucking guy. It's still just.
I go like once a year.
Go to Colorado and have a good time for a few days.
I'm just going to put mine out there.
The five seed Dylan hitting the slopes moves on.
Wow.
Dylan, what are you going to choose?
Gardner, Snake, Dave.
A little sassy, a little Gardner.
So what you're saying is that the onus is on your boy right now?
Just put Dylan hitting the slopes through and let's move on.
All right, if you say so.
Yeah, let's go Dylan hitting the slopes.
If you want it put through, Dylan, we can make that happen for you.
I was going to choose Gardner, Snake, Dave, but I think you made a good point.
I do love a spinach salad.
Number 8 versus number nine.
I'm an oil man.
Or Dave, do you want to introduce the I'm an oil man?
Versus.
Add me on the grom.
Add me on the grom.
Dude, I'm sorry.
I'm an oil man is a little bit underrated here.
It should not be an eight seed.
We got a lot of mileage out of that.
Yeah, I'm an oil man has to go on for me, and it's not even close.
David, I believe you were not real big on the Add Me on the Grom kid for a while.
Is that right?
Maybe.
No, it was the other kid.
Are you sure?
Who is the kid?
Add Me on the Grom kid will never not be really, really funny to me.
But are you getting a little tired of the sound hit?
I kind of want to replace this with something else.
No, please don't.
I'm going to leave the podcast. getting a little tired of the sound the sound hit i kind of want to replace this with something else no please don't i'm gonna leave i don't but it's like perfect it is a little bit annoying but it's perfect he's saying the perfect thing you guys on instagram i know i know i just i'm just kind
of getting tired of that that's being occupied by abney on the grom every single day but it's
right it's in your touch zone i know it's in your touch zone never get rid of that okay okay okay uh but oil man is really strong i'm gonna i'm gonna go oil man But it's right. It's in your touch zone. I know. It's in your touch zone. Never get rid of that, please.
Okay, okay, okay.
But oil man is really strong.
I'm going to go oil man here.
It's oil man.
Yeah.
It's oil man.
Or oil mon.
Oh, no.
Well, this is talking about the movie,
whereas oil mons is talking about the restaurant.
That's your restaurant.
Yeah.
Why didn't Abbott announce the mask mandate
from oil mons in Lubbock?
That's a great point.
I was hoping he was going to do Chewy's.
Number 16.
Oh, God.
New sponsor alert.
This is number one.
This is a slaughter.
Put some respect on your sponsors.
This is a slaughter.
New sponsor alert is just a bad bit.
No, people like it.
I think that's why I enjoy it.
People get mad when you don't do it.
People hate it.
I like it.
It's so bad.
I like it. But I like Welcome to Wilmonds it. People hate it. I like it. It's so bad. I like it.
But I like Welcome to Wilmonds more.
I have to go with the bread and butter here.
Why is it in the Big Tex voice?
No one knows.
To be clear, we don't serve bread and butter at Wilmonds.
I think it was around the time that Big Tex maybe caught on fire and died and then rose from the grave like Jon Snow.
It was also around the time where they had the contest for the voice replacement.
Ah, yes.
You could submit a audio clip
which i didn't do should have should have done the bachelor should have done the big text i mean just
so many would have should have could have how could you not vote well let's not even vote on
this let's just put wilmonds through this is a slaughter this game was like a this game was over
at halftime they rested the stars so far welcome to to Wilmonds. I mean, it's just a monster.
Yeah, we had the last guy on the bench hitting a free throw
with a student section going wild.
Put the student manager in.
We're talking Final Four.
This is Final Four material.
Let's move on.
Man, we're halfway through, huh?
Halfway through.
Yeah, this is going to be a long episode today,
but to be honest, don't really give a fuck. Bad boy shit. Dude, we don halfway through, huh? Halfway through. Yeah, this is going to be a long episode today, but to be honest, don't really give a fuck.
Bad boy shit.
Dude, we don't even care.
We got the Miller High Life bracket now, baby.
Number one, Dylan's broken cell phone with number 16, another Dylan bit, being behind the dumpster COVID testing.
One of my favorite watch media gifs that you can look up on your whatever is from the broken cell phone bit.
It's funny um it's
strong i thought dylan actually got tested in the dumpster he did no it's it's a straight up dumpster
it's not a dumpster it looks like a dumpster it's like a uh what do you call it a portable building
like it's like a storage crate it's a storage container storage container thank you like but
like it's i saw them setting it up one day, like putting the banner on it,
like after closing it down the night before.
It's just a straight-up dumpster.
Behind the dumpster COVID test.
Dude, it's so weird.
That's funny.
Because that almost put our company into jeopardy,
I have to get rid of behind the dumpster COVID test.
Dylan got tested in a storage unit.
That's so funny.
I did, yeah.
They had the same tools.
It wasn't even zoned for that.
It was in an empty parking lot.
The one by my old place isn't even in a parking lot anymore.
It's just literally on a patch of grass.
It's a parking lot for, there's no building.
It's just a lot.
There's not even a building there, a structure.
Just a vacant lot.
It's really weird.
Dylan's broken cell phone. phone's got to move on.
I like the upset here.
Dylan's dumpster dive COVID test is just, for me, it's just so funny.
The broken cell phone's funny, too.
It's just funny.
It's just of all the places to get tested. i vote i vote for your broken cell phone okay i
want to put broken cell phone through i kind of want to go back though jace made a compelling
argument i don't care let's i'll go with dumpster all right wow one seat goes down well dude that
does not happen one seat goes down part of the reason that it's funny is because i was making
fun of it and then you were like i actually got got tested there. I got tested there. What?
But to be fair, I got a backup test the same day.
I got the nasal one.
This was the gum one that they did.
You didn't do the Chinese COVID test?
What's that one?
Did I miss this?
You're more likely to get COVID from that dumpster. And you remember.
It wasn't a dumpster.
It was an anal swab.
Oh, yeah.
I didn't do the anal swab. It was the anal pipe. Oh, yeah. I didn't do the anal swab.
It was the anal pipe.
That's the pipe that it chose.
We got a tight one here.
Oh, this one's impossible.
Number nine is this drop.
That's not it.
That's not it either.
Certainly not.
Lord have mercy, I'm about to bust.
Versus number eight, Sassy Wolf Dave.
Both very sassy.
Both. These are both lower seeds inassy Wolf Dave. Both very sassy. These are
both lower seeds in my opinion.
They're both really strong.
Sassy Wolf
Dave was a lot of fun.
A lot of fun. Can I vote first?
I'm going to eat you. I'm going to go with Sassy
Wolf Dave. And it's because
we only really got Sassy Wolf Dave
during spooky season.
Well, you know, it is the season.
Yeah, and so it's not a –
Was it spooky season or when we talked about the Colorado wolf situation?
Probably all of the above.
You have to remember, though, that was sass-eating season.
You're right.
David.
Sassy Wolf Dave is good. Sassy Wolf Dave's good
Sassy Wolf Dave
I have to go with it
I low key like
Sassy Wolf Dave
more than
Gardener Snake Dave
I do too
Low key
Shut your fucking mouth
For me it's not even
low key at this point
Really?
Yes
I love Sassy Wolf Dave
Every time Dave does an animal
he's always
sassy as fuck
I know
What's it do with that dude?
No the Gardener Snake's
very honest
hard working snake
Animals are just
sassy like that
Yeah but also sassy.
Those azaleas.
You got to water those azaleas.
Yeah, he's a little lippy.
He is.
A little high and mighty, that gardener snake.
Sass queen.
What are you going with, Dave?
I mean, I had never heard the I'm about to bust clip.
That was new to me.
When you busted that out, it hit me, and I was like, what the – I didn't know.
That was actually a suggestion from Hashtag.
It was a good one.
I'll go Sassy Wolf.
I'll put some respect on the Sass Wolf.
If someone can tell us the origin story of Sassy Wolf, Dave, I would like to hear it because I don't know if it was from –
It's got to be spooky.
I don't have a good memory, though, so I trust Dylan.
Number five – sorry, next one.
Number five, fraternity leave versus number 12, mobbing with the boys.
Oh.
Fraternity leave had a hot stretch in their –
they won their conference tournament and got in.
They got the automatic bid because that was like a one-time drop.
Yeah, legitimately.
I can't believe it's a 5C.
The phone call we got when the dude, was it a voicemail episode?
Yes.
Okay.
When he talked about what was going on at Miami University.
Well, Miami University is where the story originated.
And he called in from Delaware, I believe.
Yeah, you're right.
And he said, wow, you're mobbing.
It absolutely killed me.
It just was one of the funniest things ever.
So I got to go mobbing with the boys here.
I'm going to go fraternity leave just to make Will decide.
I think Dylan's right.
Fraternity leave got a hearty laugh out of me,
but it didn't become as much of a bit as it could have.
Whereas mobbing with the boys, that guy's voicemail alone took us from
knowing about the word mobbing to absolutely abusing the word mobbing.
So I think I have to go with the 12 over the 5 here.
That's because everyone knows that that's really difficult.
That's a tough draw for Jerry Lee.
Put him through.
Oh, this one's another hard one.
This is very office driven.
We have number 13, four timesing, or I guess quadrupling the internet speed versus number four, podcast week.
Is it podcast week this week or is that next week?
I got news.
Wait a minute.
It's podcast week, baby.
Wow.
I didn't even know, man.
Yep.
Dave, are you checking your calendar?
Can you confirm on your calendar?
It's podcast week.
Shit, yes.
It's podcast week.
How do we not have a shirt that says podcast week?
Write that down, Randy.
It just needs to say podcast week and then below it, January 1st to December 31st.
We do need to make a podcast week shirt.
For sure.
I'm going podcast week.
Yeah, I am too.
Especially since we have a shirt coming out.
I'm going to go quadrupling the internet speed because, I mean, it was Randy's big initiative,
and then he did it.
He said he was going to do it, and he did it.
Yeah, he pulled it out.
Yeah, it was pretty big.
Quadrupled it.
What did it do to the upload speed?
Quadrupled that as well.
Also quadrupled it.
It's huge.
We also have number three, Shacket, versus number four, Rural.
Shacket and Rural.
How sad is it that Shacket season is ending?
Sun's out.
That means you can wash it now, Dylan.
Okay.
If you want to throw that thing in.
Match up.
You have polar opposites as far as words that I like to say.
Shacket rolls off.
Everybody likes saying that word.
It's a great word.
Rural. It's a problem for everybody. It's a great word. Rural.
Rural.
It's a problem for everybody.
Rural.
Rural.
Rural.
What a stupid word.
What are you doing?
Are you growling at me?
Who came up with that?
Some fucking dumbass.
Some idiot.
Don't look into that.
I don't know.
I don't really want to know.
I'm going shack it.
I'm a shack it boy.
You have to go shack it.
We got too much mileage out of shack it.
That being said,
I'm going to vote rural.
That rule? That rule?
That rule.
Remember when everybody was calling me Shaqy Robinson for a while?
No.
Wow, that is...
No.
No?
They weren't calling you that.
Oh.
I hate you.
Number 11, big arms being out versus number 6.
New York City?
New York City?
No.
What? Big arms being out, it's one of my favorite things.
Imagine having big arms in 2021.
Because it's just like when you see somebody out there with just some muscular, veiny, large arms, you know, and he's just showing them off.
You're like, dude, what a clown.
Stop.
I'm going to throw up, dude.
Stop.
What a clown.
There's a guy at the pool at the montage, and he just – he probably had 20-inch biceps.
I almost went up to him and just told him what the deal was.
He was so out of style.
He looked like an idiot.
Where have you been, dude?
It was disgusting.
Do you know who our big arms being out skinny arm king might be?
J-Bone?
Justin Thomas.
He's definitely got –
He's built like a 13-year-old.
I just, like, I see it, and I'm like, oh, my God, the perfect arms don't exist.
And then I see Justin Thomas, and I'm like, there they are.
He's a short king, too.
They're perfect.
We stan our short king, tiny arms.
The way his stupid Ralph Lauren poles fit on his tiny little arms.
I was going to say, he doesn't wear those anymore.
He doesn't?
They dropped him?
He got dropped.
Oh, I didn't realize that.
Yeah.
We talked about it literally on Too Much Dip.
You were right next to me.
What is he wearing now?
I don't know.
I didn't really take note.
Where's the Kirkland brand?
He should just be wearing the Vineyard Vines collection from What's His Face?
Jim Nance.
Dude.
I don't know what I'm going with here here i need you guys to talk me through this
big arms being out versus new york city i really get excited every single time that i get to do the
new york city but i don't feel like i do it that often new york city is also connected to brett's
pace bit yeah this is so it's actually like i don't know if it's if i'm counting that as well
this isn't particularly close for me.
It's big arms being out.
Okay.
That's interesting as somebody who on occasion has problems with his arms getting too big.
Yeah, based on every single Instagram you put out,
I would think that you're on the team of big arms being in.
I'm a chess guy.
I'm not an arm guy.
Everybody knows that.
I don't have big arms.
People were saying that, like, I don't know,
did you dirty on the timeline?
What were they talking about?
Did you not see it?
You saw it.
Yeah, I did.
It reminded me of a movie that I had watched recently.
Maybe Uncomfortable.
Magic Mike?
No, it was a different one.
It was like six minutes long.
What kind of stuff are you watching, Dave?
Short films.
I mean, the chin.
Yeah, he's shredded, but...
Dude, everybody's shredded
at that age.
When you're 5'6
and like 19 years old,
it's not hard to look like that.
Being shredded
in your lower 20s
is not cool.
No.
No, if you don't have
some sort of like...
You have to have like a beer belly at that age.
You have to be a little out of shape.
That's so fun, dude.
Yeah, let it rip after college and that Metabee slows down.
I'm on Dylan's side.
Big arms being out goes through.
Cool.
New York City, fuck out of here.
Bye.
Turns out it is sleeping.
Number seven, Dylan punting objects versus number 10, making fun of Randy without a mic.
I know what I'm going with here, and it's not even close.
Number 10.
You punting stuff has been good, but I feel like you're not going to punt anything anytime soon anymore.
Yeah, we don't want you to get hurt.
Thank you.
That's fair, yeah.
It is a strain on the old hammy whenever I punt something.
One of the most fun I've had on the podcast in recent memory was making fun of Randy's party outfit that he wore that one day.
He just couldn't stop partying.
He was just partying.
It is fun to call him a dork, too, doing his nerd computer shit.
I did feel bad about Randy not –
now I'm worried that he's never going to wear that outfit again,
even though I want him to.
The wacky trim backy outfit?
Yeah.
Is Bodacious Booty on this bracket?
Nah.
He says no.
Yeah, I'm going with number 10, making fun of Randy without a mic.
It's just too enjoyable.
It's good.
Me too.
Me too.
Put it through.
Our last one of this one.
Can I pee after this one?
I'm sorry.
This liquid death is killing me.
I was going to say, you even opening that before an episode,
I almost said to you, like, Dave, this is a bad idea.
You're right.
I wish you would have.
It's my fault.
Number 15, Shark Week versus number two, El Glizadente.
Oh, this is...
Do we even need to vote on this one?
A two seed?
Glissadentes.
No one's beaten Glissadentes in this whole damn thing.
No.
By the way, whenever...
Just go P, Dave, because El Glissadentes going through.
Tagging me in posts when just a hot dog is even mentioned on Twitter or Instagram.
I'm so over it.
Well, dude, I'm sure that you saying that you're over it's going to really stop things.
Hey, I'm going to start getting loose with the blocks.
How about that?
How about that, folks?
I don't block anymore.
Unless you're actually like a bad, bad troll, then I'll block you.
I haven't blocked someone in years, actually, now that I think about it.
I have.
There are some people that just deserve it.
But the mute is the silent killer.
When you mute someone,
it's just like, yeah.
Because they don't even know.
You can scream into the echo chamber,
but guess what?
It's not echoing today, honey.
Silent killer.
Mm-mm.
I love muting people.
All right, I guess El Glizadente's going through.
Did anyone call you El Glizadente when you were in Mexico?
No.
Not a soul.
Here's a question.
What was the Wagyu Glizzy topped with?
Ooh, it was on a,
what's that bun called?
Brioche?
Yeah.
Good call.
Yeah.
I dabble.
And there was a, oh, sorry, a spicy mustard.
Okay.
There was some other kind of sauce on it, too.
I forgot.
And then it had pickled jalapenos and maybe like a pickled onion as well.
Pickled like purple onion.
Okay.
Red onion is what they're traditionally called.
But they're purple.
You're not really making a lot of strides for you right now of not knowing how to cook when you call it a purple onion.
Yeah, I'm not familiar with vegetables really.
But it is.
The color is purple.
Am I wrong?
No, you're right.
It should be called the purple onion instead of a red onion. I don't know why
it's called a red onion. I don't know the difference between
sweet onions and Vidalia onions and white
onions. There's a lot of onions out there, man.
I like them, though. I stand on onions. I'm telling you, it was awesome.
I think onions might be the top
vegetable for me when it comes to
dressing up meals.
And it came with sweet potato fries?
Miss me on that.
Sweet potato fries are overrated. It was so good. No one ever wants to eat that last sweet potato fries? You missed me on that. Sweet potato fries are overrated.
It was so good.
No one ever wants to eat that last sweet potato fry sitting on the table.
It's too much.
They're too sweet.
I prefer them not in fry form, for sure, my sweet potatoes.
Hey, Dave, you missed a exhilarating conversation.
You missed a lot.
You back in on baked potatoes?
Me too.
Dude, I...
Oh, man.
That was one of those ones where it was starting to hurt.
That was a fast pee.
Did not mess around in there.
He murdered that pee.
Yeah, he did.
Payback from all the death I'd caused.
We got the poncho region.
Major shots to poncho.
Go get a free shirt or hat.
Listen to Wednesday's episode in order
to figure out how to do that.
Number two, the homie playing GTA
versus Randy's hinge profile.
Can I say, there are a lot of Randy-themed
entries here. Yeah, it seems a little sus.
It seems quite sus. Yeah, I've seen
a lot of people talking about that.
Was I on fraternity leave when Randy's
hinge profile became a thing? I feel like it's not
that big of a thing. Dude, I genuinely don't remember Randy's hinge profile became a thing? Probably. I feel like it's not that big of a thing.
Dude, I genuinely don't remember Randy's hinge profile.
Dude, Randy put this in there just to have people know that he has a hinge profile, didn't he?
Yeah.
Did you edit?
He edited the bracket.
Did you ever get your hinge profile up?
Is it going?
He says no.
Why not, dude?
This freaking guy.
What a jerk.
I'm going with the Homey Plane GTA just because I actually recently downloaded Grand Theft Auto Vice City onto my PS4.
I saw that you could buy it on PS4, and they were doing a special that day for $4.99, and I thought, you know what?
Let's get nostalgic.
And so I downloaded GTA Vice City.
Got to be honest, really fucking fun.
Yeah.
It brought back so many memories of me sitting in my bedroom for hours just, like doing the missions just trying to see how many stars I could get.
Yeah, you rarely did the missions.
It's just causing havoc around Vice City really.
That's what it's all about.
Homey playing GTA.
I'm not going to vote against the homie here.
Can't vote against him. Sorry, Randy.
Number 10.
Mouth kissing the homies versus number 7.
There's no way to look that up.
See, this one's an interesting one.
Because in this climate, mouth kissing the homies is not totally generally accepted.
At the same time, there's no way to look that up has been a bit for so long that it's almost, you wonder if it's time to pass the torch.
Huh.
I'm not ready to pass it yet.
Does that mean you're voting for number seven?
My vote is for there's no way to look that up.
Yeah, that one is just strong, man.
It's been around for a long time.
Because generally you can look, that's the thing that we're talking about.
That's the thing about it.
That's the joke.
It's true.
So it advances then. Go on. Come's the joke. It's true. So it advances then.
Go on.
Come on, Randy.
He's over there updating his hinge.
Wow.
This one's a tough one.
Randy's really blowing it. Number six.
Spooky season versus number 11.
Dylan's faves.
Is it Dylan's faves or Dylan faves?
It's Dylan faves.
It's correctly spelled on here.
So you're not going to correct the grammar here?
No, they're okay this time.
Dylan Faves, for people that don't know,
is a playlist where Dylan has a bunch of rap songs
that came out three months ago
mixed in with some Elton John and James Blunt.
There's Faves.
A lot of Red Dirt Country as well.
It's over 400 songs.
I need to clean it up a little bit, though.
It's just...
Every time I find a new song, I just add it to the list instead of like...
That's often how they work.
Well, it's just one...
Never mind.
We're not going to get into it.
Just my favorite songs.
Okay, David?
Your faves.
They're my faves, dude.
But, I mean, Spooky Season is my winner here.
Spooky Season's an institution.
I love Spooky Season.
But I miss Spooky Season.
What are you doing on the phone over there, Dave?
I was ordering a sandwich.
You're just peeing, ordering sandwiches.
I'm starting to get hangry even though I ate like two hours ago.
I'll go spooky season.
I mean, as much as I love Dylan's faves.
Dylan faves. Dylan faves. Dylan faves.
It's kind of annoying that you haven't released
Dylan faves, the people, so I have to go
spooky season because that
just is what it is.
Oh, now we have the wrong name for
a band versus Dave's son.
Yeah, again, why is my son...
He's not a bit. I think he's actually my son,
right? From what I've been told.
Straight up his son. So Parks, just straight Parks didn't make it this year.
Rosie didn't make it this year.
Wow.
Stella did, though.
Stella and Rhodes.
Somehow Stella made it.
Blink-183 isn't funny to me, dude.
You're just disrespecting a great, great band.
When I first said Blink-183, I thought that was, I wasn't trying to be funny.
I just got it wrong.
I was just an idiot.
That's hilarious that you got it wrong. I was just an idiot.
That's hilarious that you got it wrong because it's disrespectful.
They stink.
Like, they're awful.
Oh.
No, no, no.
It's a terrible band.
No, no, no.
They stink now.
They're going to make new music.
They're not good now.
They've never been good.
Yes, they have.
But to be fair, this genre is what I don't like.
Not them.
I feel like this is just a formality. I feel like Rhodes is going through no matter what.
I can't vote against my own son in his first tournament.
It's true.
Even though he's definitely not a bit.
He's very much just a real guy.
No, I mean, he's very much real.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't really know.
We got number four versus number 13.
Number four is 1940s gangster accents.
Come on.
Versus number three.
13, sorry, truck month. This is easy for me. Come on. It's four is 1940s gangster accents. Come on. Versus number three. 13, sorry, truck month.
This is easy for me.
Come on.
It's got to be the gangster accents.
It's absolutely gangster accents.
But, okay, it is technically truck month.
True.
True.
Truck month, say.
Ladies and gentlemen, truck month.
Part of the reason I like the 1940s gangster accents is because it pisses a small contingent of backers off.
And I kind of like that they hate it.
Wait, why do they hate it?
Do you think it's not funny?
I don't know.
Or is it offensive to them in some way?
I don't know.
It's hogwash.
Do they come from, like, mob families or something?
Yeah.
Are we appropriating mob culture too much?
Nothing funny about that.
Nah.
No one's laughing.
People don't like that?
Yeah.
Shut your mouth.
You're joking at my expense, huh?
That's dumb.
See how that pans out for you?
Two to the chest, one to the head.
It's gotta be 1940s gangster accents.
Why do they talk like that?
I don't know.
I don't know, Shane.
That's just how we talk.
Yeah, liquid death, see?
Murder your thirst, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah, call me up.
I'll help you murder it.
Yeah.
I got my tummy gun in the trunk.
I'll put you back there, too, if you don't watch your mouth.
Never stood a chance.
Oh, my God.
Our next one is kind of a surprising matchup here.
We know the 12 versus 5s are always a hard matchup.
You guys know that?
Old Gene is a touching base bet.
Yeah.
Old Gene's old.
And number five, Will Mommy's, with an apostrophe, whether you want that there or not.
Let me say, though.
It's completely unnecessary in this context.
Let me say, though.
Old Gene and Old Gene's prime, unbeatable.
Number one overall seed.
Cruising to the final four.
Did you see Amy Schumer named her son Gene?
She had to rename her son.
Why?
Because the first name she chose for the son, when you read it,
like if you said his full name aloud,
it kind of said something like weird or inappropriate.
I'll look it up.
That's weird and inappropriate.
That's what he said.
I know.
Oh, I got to know this name.
I got love for the Will mommies, but Gene's moving on to Dave's bracket.
Wow. You're going against the mommies.
They're not going to like that, Dave. I'm just
telling you. Gene loved basketball.
Gene loved mommies too, though.
So she didn't change her son's
name from Gene, but she changed the
middle name.
Because the child was originally born
and named after the son
was sorry, the middle name of her and named after the son was –
sorry, the middle name of her son was after Dave Attell.
Okay, a comedian.
A comedian who she's friends with.
And so her son's name was Gene Attell Schumer.
Gene Attell.
Gene Attell.
Genital.
Oh.
Is that real? That's pretty funny. It's actually – it's actually it's actually changed it she changed it
to what i don't know i forget i i could tell you but a pop-up came up on the site and i don't feel
like disabling my ad blocker it's a stretch i don't think she needed to change it genital
my genitalia dude i don't know you send that kid to school and kids start finding out that
it's genital and then all of a sudden it's like they start calling him genitalia. Dude, I don't know. You send that kid to school and kids start finding out that it's genital
and then all of a sudden it's like they start calling him genital.
You can't escape that.
Yeah, that kid's become genital.
$50,000 a year prep school he'll go to.
I stay in the will.
Mommy's here.
Oh, so it's on me.
Look, like I said, old Gene, three, four years years ago absolutely unbeatable what what's changed
dylan what's changed what's changed is we now have a different podcast or a different name we
don't even we don't even talk about gene anymore i wish we well maybe that's on you maybe you should
look in the mirror i'm gonna vote will mommies but you freaking let me say let me say before
will mommies need to know that old gene is a much better quote-unquote bit than Willmommies.
It's an all-timer.
Don't vote for that. Vote for it.
We haven't even said old Gene in three years.
I just said it when we're talking about it now.
But it's just – this is the 2021 bit madness.
Man, if you think I'm voting against the Willmommies, you're crazy.
We got number eight versus number nine number eight dave's mustache don't know why they chose this spelling for mustache uh who did this but or versus number
nine you crushed that oh dude dude you crushed that that's funny that's funny it's gonna this
mustache isn't even a bit.
It's just his look.
Yeah.
Did it start as a bit?
Oh, mustache just started as a bit, I think.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, it was supposed to be a one-day thing.
I was too impressed with myself.
He's just a mustache guy.
Yeah, you're just a mustache boy.
Crush that.
That's a funny, like, you're an idiot response.
I'm voting you crushed that.
Sorry, Dave.
Sorry to your mustache, I should say.
I'm voting Dave's mustache.
So it's on you.
Are you going to vote your mustache through?
I mean, it's provided me with about eight months of lip warmth,
so it's the least I could do.
Wow.
Mustache moves on.
Wow.
Okay.
And then our final matchup of today,
number 16, the gift of gumbo,
versus number one, Dave texting the homie.
It's an easy one for me, Dylan.
And if I could recommend for you,
I also think it should be easy for you.
Because I'm not sure if you remember this,
I didn't receive the gift of gumbo.
I was going to say,
if I had received said gift of gumbo,
maybe I would consider it here,
but I'm absolutely not considering it
since I was not gifted any gumbo.
Yeah, I don't live in my neighborhood.
He chose Ross.
He doesn't live in your neighborhood.
They're two blocks,
but they're in South Austin
and they're both close to each other.
You know who also lived very close to each other?
Me and Micah at the time, Dave.
You could have brought the gift of gumbo to us.
No, Micah would have found something wrong with the gumbo.
I'm like, Dave, did you make your own roux?
No, Micah's a pretty good food exchange person.
He and I have done it numerous times.
I'm going with Dave texting the homie.
Dave's still getting a vote here, which I think is kind of unfair
given how we haven't gotten the gift of gumbo,
but I'm going to go with Dave texting the homie.
I'll go gift of gumbo.
Dave texting the homie goes through.
Damn it.
That's round one.
That was fun.
That was fun. That was madness. The other ones won't go this long, but when it's round one that was fun that was fun the other ones that was madness the other ones won't go this long but when it's round one a bit madness you gotta you gotta just kick the feet up and just
let it ride that was fun we're doing numbers on the time over here oh we're doing numbies today
this might be an all-time long episode but let's before we get out of here today let's hear from
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Oh, sorry, Brett.
Eh, not yet.
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Thank you.
Very well done. Well, not yet. Okay, cool. You actually crushed that two times in a row. Thank you. Very well done.
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Brett, what kind of breaking news you got for us?
Take this one deep today, huh, boys?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, shit.
Oh, yeah.
Bit madness, that's when you turn out.
It's like Dylan at the plate if Dave was throwing him BP wiffle balls.
Just taking him 400.
Take it deep.
Yeah.
A little breaking news for you all today. Dylan, would you like to go walruses? BP wiffle balls. Just taking them four under. Taking them deep. Yeah.
A little breaking news for you all today.
Dylan, would you like to go walruses, cheerleaders, or toys?
Sounds like a great party.
Let's go walruses.
Sure thing.
I know this story and I love it.
Randy, yep.
Randy's got it. This walrus was discovered off the coast of Ireland,
making it the first walrus to ever be discovered off the coast of Ireland.
I love you, Dylan.
First one.
First one ever.
Did he get lost or something?
Here's what happened.
Just wait.
He's from the Arctic, they say.
That's where walruses live.
And what appears to happen is that he fell asleep on an iceberg
that floated too far out of reach.
He bailed off the iceberg and found refuge in Ireland.
How long was he asleep?
Dude, our man's was chilling.
A month?
He matched that melatonin gum and just didn't wake up.
That's incredible.
It's amazing.
But dude, don't you kind of feel like it's awesome that he floated all this way and fell
asleep on an iceberg, but now I feel bad.
Like he's so lost.
Did he black out?
No.
Like, you know, wake up somewhere.
That's a worst weekend he did for us.
He was gone off that shrimp or something.
He was just fucking going.
Parks is about to pee his pants.
I got to dip out a little bit early.
Sorry.
Dave, any thoughts on the Walrus that traveled the world?
I'm very, very curious as to what's next for this Walrus in 2021.
Did they leave him?
He's okay.
They said he looked, he appeared exhausted,
but he's okay.
PFT,
front of the program,
had a good tweet.
He said,
this is what my brain feels like
during March Madness
when I wake up on the couch
at 2 a.m.
and Impractical Jokers is on.
That's a,
that's a great point.
This is like when,
this is like when you fall asleep
watching a Pac-12 game.
Right.
Yeah.
Pac-12 after dark and you, and you wake up and like Lester Holt's on your TV somehow.
That's not a very good sign.
My take on this was this is a Disney movie.
Yeah.
Animated Disney movie.
The walrus falls asleep in the Arctic and wakes up in the land of leprechaun.
How do you buy the rights to movies?
I've always wondered how you buy the rights to make the movie.
Can we buy these now?
We should probably get on trademarking this.
Okay.
I don't know how.
I don't know if Ireland owns them.
But they've already had,
Pixar's already had
a movie called WALL-E,
so we can't do that.
Is this a St. Patrick's Day,
like, is this a plant?
I don't know.
Should we open its mouth
and see if it has a green tongue?
Well.
I don't know what they're going to do with them.
I don't know if there's walrus zoos in Ireland.
They'll figure it out.
He looks good.
Or just zoos.
They've got to have zoos, right?
Yeah.
You'd think.
I don't know.
They're pretty progressive.
Maybe they've outlawed them.
You want to hear this cheerleader news, Dave?
Do I.
A Pennsylvania woman is accused of
doctoring photos and video of her
daughter's cheerleading rivals
to try to get them kicked off the squad.
Why?
What is she editing?
The Butch County District Attorney's Office
last recharged Raffaella Spohn, 50 years old
with three misdemeanor counts of cyber harassment
of a child.
She manipulated photos from social media of three girls on the Victory Vipers
cheerleading squad to make it appear that they were drinking, smoking, and naked.
That is absurd.
She deep faked.
She used deep fake software.
It's going a little far, huh?
Are you fucking kidding me?
I swear.
They need to outlaw deep fake software just overall.
They just need to get rid of it.
It's crazy. We're going to get deep faked. I don't want to be deep faked. I don't, they just need to get rid of it. It's crazy.
We're going to get deepfaked.
I don't want to be deepfaked.
I don't either.
It's a good way to get blocked.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
The cheerleading team had a strict
no vape policy.
And guess what she did?
That's lame.
I know.
But she,
she photoshopped
or deepfaked
her daughter's cheerleading rivals
to have vapes in their mouth.
That's so cheap.
It's terrible.
This is like how mom cheerleader, like, what do you call it?
A helicopter parent cheerleading mom trying to get her daughter on the squad.
And so she's like oh those three they're fucked
just wait honey
like come on
thumbs down to that
not a big fan
what's
is she going to face
any kind of
charges
yeah she's being charged
no word on jail time
but deep fakes
we got to reel those in
Will I got some
toy news for you
hit me
you familiar with
Toys R Us.
Oh, they're back.
Well, not really because my dad wouldn't let me go there as a kid, but go on.
Did you all have one?
No.
But when we went on vacation, he told me it was just for adults.
It's the opposite of that.
I know, but it stopped me from asking to go to Toys R Us every fucking time I saw one.
Come on, Ross.
It's really smart.
Remember the sad Jeffrey the Giraffe Toys R Us?
Do I ever, man ever man like farewell tweet
yes uh well they're back toys r us has a new owner again hell yeah the brand management company whp
global announced monday it has acquired a controlling interest in true kids the parent
company of toys are us babies are us and jeffreyaffe. That's cool that Megan Thee Stallion, Cardi B, and all them got together with WAP Global and bought Toys R Us.
Man, I don't know if that's right, but I hope it is.
They say they're going to take the brands out of bankruptcy, and brick-and-mortar stores are coming back.
Let's pay off some creditors.
Let's bring it back.
They are.
Brick-by-brick, mortar-by-mortors. Let's bring it back. They are. Let's break by
brick, mortar by mortar, mortar by mortar. That's beautiful. Brett, thank you for the breaking news.
Of course. Couldn't appreciate it more. Well, guys, that's all we got today. Dylan's currently
having his son pee, so I don't really think we need to wait around for him to get back.
Let's get the hell out of here. Bye. you