Circling Back - 2023 Bit Madness Sweet 16 (plus Monkeys, Zebras, and Mead!)
Episode Date: March 20, 2023Bit Madness rolls on — but not until about an hour in today. Beforehand, we discuss everything from our Weekends in Fun to a wild monkey on the loose in Oklahoma to a zebra trying to rip someone's a...rm off. We also dip into some mead talk, Dillon explains mules/donkeys, and more. Enjoy a free two-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop Today's Episode (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (24:00) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (41:00) Dazzles of Zebras & Angry Monkeys (1:02:15) Bit Madness: Sweet 16 Support This Episode’s Sponsors Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) Shopify: www.shopify.com/circling (FREE trial) Sunday: www.getsunday.com/steam (20% off) Athletic Greens: www.athleticgreens.com/circling (FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from Austin, Texas. My name's Will the Thrill to Freeze.
It's my left.
We got Dave the Wave Roth.
Will the Thrill?
Is that what we're going with?
And I'm the Wave.
Big Wave Dave, as some people call me, used to call me.
Hey, tell me, if you're a world leader, one who's been in the news a lot lately,
is this a headline you like?
All right, let me put my world leader cap on and think actually see if you can guess who it is i think will's
already seen my screen if you have not no i've been i've been looking at your screen i saw you
screen looking he's screen looking well yeah i've been working i've been workshopping jokes ever
since i uh saw dave's screen a couple of times ago insert world leader's name here only a handful of those to pick from so this might be easy
blank ridiculed for sending body double to ukraine as photos of weird chin emerge
oh gosh
i don't i don't i just guess a world leader uh sleepy joe biden it is not sleepy joe biden who might it
be putin putin he's been ridiculed for sending a body double to ukraine as photos of weird chin
emerge were you the body double dave no okay i want to get out in front of this yeah we're
missing you need to get out in front of this. You were missing last week for a while. You need to get out in front of this because, like, yeah.
You were sick last, or was it last week or the week before that you were out for a day?
Can you confirm or deny whether or not you were getting made up to look like him so you could stage some photos?
Ooh.
Was I really out?
I guess I was.
You know, I was not.
Okay, look.
I've been accused of having a lot of things.
A weird chin is not one of them.
I have a chin.
You have a good chin.
It's not a great chin, but it's a chin.
It's not weird.
It's a fine chin.
Yeah.
Let's just hypothetically say that a high-ranking official in Russia sits you down, Dave, and you have a meeting together.
And he gives you a piece of paper and
says write your number down on this piece of paper to be vladimir putin's body double
what number are you sending back to him uh blood money this is this is this isn't just like guess
the numbers like we do for randy's game show this is like how much are you willing how much are you
willing to gain if it means that you have to be the body double for a man who has led an unnecessary war on the Ukraine?
I would do it for a reasonable fee.
$10 million.
US dollars.
US monies.
However, I would be a double agent because i would do something really ridiculous
like i would i would like uh like crap on the floor or something something that's going to
really embarrass the guy something dave i'm sorry but you're getting overshadowed right now by an
absolute bricking yeah randy training what's happening what is this absolute brick what is
this website he's attempting to put the picture up of this body double go down to the the scroll
down a little bit.
Dude, how much mead did Randy have yesterday at the Renaissance Festival?
He's getting smoked by pop-ups.
Okay, what is mead?
Dude, this guy doesn't know what mead is.
Right, that's why I asked you.
Dude, this guy has no clue what mead is.
Right, that's why – again, that's why I'm wanting to know.
Dude, I've got the need.
The need for mead.
That's Greg Abbott.
Is it a drink?
Yo, what are these ads on the side of your site
randy what are you even looking at i've ruined the show again dude randy you gotta scroll up a
little bit okay i don't know what to do here he did this daily star just keep it you you were
there i mean you didn't need to pull up like you didn't need to pull up the article i wanted y'all
to see this i'm sorry i did send it to him the middle one is just Hasn't he been having like actual
Prop like medical issues
That's the rumor you don't really know
He's got that disappearing chin disease
I hate it not to be like a downer
Or anything but like I don't know what if he had like
Cancer down there
Can't they have to like remove certain parts or something
He doesn't look like him in that
The one on the left look like him in that.
The one on the left looks like him. The two on the right,
you can convince me those are not him.
Okay.
That's a lot of pressure on the body double.
It's like, hey, man, you better...
This has implications.
You're also getting sent to
a war-torn area.
Is that 10 million still 10 million?
Make it 20. Not everyone knows. The world doesn't know that you're his body double but like your squad yeah like we're in the reach
out about it we're like fuck these dave have these dave photos dropped dude ukraine is sick
we're facetiming him beforehand like dude dave you're gonna do great man seriously seriously
how's my chin how's my chin look dude don't worry about that they're
not gonna be looking at your chin you're you worry about that more than anybody else it's gonna be a
dead giveaway trying to think of a nickname for the other person that needs to get introduced at
this point but everything's escaping me ladies and gentlemen we got dellin the watermelon
chivalry that's not he loves watermelon i i like i like watermelon chivalry. That's not. He loves watermelon.
I like watermelon.
I don't.
I mean, it's fine.
Yeah.
Anyway, thanks for the introduction.
Happy to be here.
Look, it's WGC week.
We got South by.
Weather's all right.
Like WBC also.
Dude, fucking WGC dog wins.
We got gains.
We got KJ in studio later today.
It's just a good time to be alive in Austin, Texas.
We've got special guest Brent Rooker.
Yes, we do.
On Too Much Dip today.
For all you seam heads out there.
Shane Lowry might be stopping by later, too.
I saw him this morning at the gym.
I was like, hey, man, I got this pod.
You got to stop taking pics of people at the gym.
I didn't take a pic.
That's fucked up.
I don't work out with my phone.
I only set my watch on me.
The double standard.
Yeah, we know.
We know based on how you text.
Just don't text back when you're at the gym.
Shut up, bitch.
There's a double standard in this office.
Because if that had been big game Brett out there, we'd spotted him.
I'm a super recognizer.
But you're not.
Yes, I am.
I am legitimately.
I don't think you are.
You have trouble recalling people's faces like, oh, that's so-and-so.
And you're like, I don't know who that person is. I like you should no no i i know faces i'm not good with names
that's my thing dave are you don't you're talking to a super recognizer dude what are you fucking
talking about i don't know what's your problem brett is uh this guy recognizes super brett has
face blindness i'm a super recognized and we are not the same i straight up have face blindness at
this point i've discovered it brad pitt has face blindness i definitely have it i said i showed sally something the other day
and said doesn't this person look like this person she looked at me she's like will that i can't even
fathom where you got this from i like that about you i don't know i don't get it i'm more of a vibe
guy yeah will goes on vibes not faces i'm a super recognizer of vibes you're a super vibe ignizer
i don't know dude that was i'm trying it's not even close i try i try mark i took a swing
i'm not rocking with that mark he's a vibe raider who like a vibrator
jeez i don't rate them i recognize them you recognize vibes. What are the vibes like in here today?
They're a little interesting today because Randy should be hung over from all the meat he drank, but he's not.
His allergies are acting up, though.
I'm just going to look up meat.
Dave was about six minutes late to the office today, but didn't have breakfast tacos, which was confusing.
Yeah, it's true.
If you didn't own the company partially, if you didn't partially own the company, there might be question marks surrounding that.
Dylan's actually got a good vibe today dylan's rocking some some dark jeans like black jeans i look fucking good he's got his oatmeal sweatshirt on i got a little
base uh suntan as well i'm looking fucking good today everybody i don't know good it's like
everybody's been saying it all right meat i had to it up. How do you not know what that is? I've never heard of it.
That's how.
I thought you were super recognized.
Every time I don't know something, Dave likes to talk to me like I'm a total idiot.
You are kind of a total idiot for not knowing what meat is, dude.
If I've never heard of something, how could I know about it?
I just think it's crazy that you don't know what meat is.
Some guy just looked it up.
Yeah, it's also called hydromel.
You probably didn't even know that.
Yeah, dude.
I'm always going off that hydro particularly when low in alcohol content
uh is an alcoholic beverage made by fermenting honey mixed with water and sometimes with added
ingredients such as fruits spices grains or hops this doesn't sound appealing to me whatsoever you
want me to just explain it grapes are to wine as honey is to mead.
It's just honey wine.
An analogy.
Honey wine.
That's pretty much what it is.
A man of literature.
Did you drink any ale?
No, just mead.
A liquor made from honey sounds way better
than the idea of mezcal to me.
If someone was like,
hey, do you want this liquor made of honey?
Or do you want this smoky drink?
I'd be like, oh, this honey.
Actually, I'll go with the honey.
That sounds better.
Until you try it.
Like, oh.
I'm going to say something.
I've been hanging on to this for a while.
We just don't need to smoke cocktails.
It's just completely unnecessary.
Dave, I think I disagree with you here, my man.
We just don't need to.
It's extra when it's done, but it also kind of hits.
Dude, it's low-key kind of table-side.
I like it.
No, it is table-side, and that's the one cool thing about it.
I just feel like taste-wise, it's like very few times have I had something
where I'm like, man, I need more smoke.
Dude, I kind of like it.
I want smoke in my mouth.
I kind of like it.
There's an agave shortage, so we might not be even drinking margaritas this
time next year is that true yeah dude the droughts the droughts down in mexico are making things real
difficult on us uh the tequila production is going to go down uh we're having trouble
keeping sriracha on the shelves sriracha has come up a number of times in the last two weeks i gotta drink my margaritas man what am
i supposed to do i don't know this makes me wonder if the prices for a matt's knockout martini are
just going to go even higher because they're they're rare they are egregiously expensive
it's crazy that the most one of the most expensive things on the menu at matzo rancho is a cocktail yeah but like one is one gets
you right two is like borderline excessive like they pack a punch you know what i mean i'm doing
i'm doing literally everything i can in my power right now to not jump across the table right now
and fight you about this what do you mean if you are trying to justify Mattel Rancho raising the price of a knockout margarita.
Here's what I'm saying.
Up to $18.50.
I'm saying $18.50.
We're on different pages, my guy.
$18.50 for that drink.
Keep talking.
It's like, I'm about to fight Will, I think.
It's like, it's two drinks.
It's two drinks.
It is.
It's a big shaker worth of martini.
And it's strong. And it's a big shaker worth of martini and it's strong and it's a good drink man i just
think that mexican martini flation is something that it's gone too far dave you got any comments
on that i'm only sipping on uh mead teenies dude that sounds lit you know it's honey and water
fermented by yeast but it can also be flavored with fruits spices grains and or hops randy knew that of
course yeah i just you know i never heard of it and i'm sorry that that offended you when i was
there no it did uh when i was growing up we used to call it medieval times because we would go
underage yeah thanks guys and we would just pound me they'd hand us like the rotisserie chicken dan was there
and they would just bring us a side of guacamole like it was lunchtime at grand
what a freak he had an entire chicken with guac it and honestly like it hit it looked great
smelled good i'm not opposed to that meal if i'm like doing it for a reason at his desk
doing it at the desk. At his desk.
Doing it at the desk.
That's something you got to bring to the break room.
Another underrated part of that was that when he was doing that,
like people could see him from their offices eating that entire rotisserie chicken with the tub of guacamole.
He didn't even plate it.
He just went right out of the loud plastic thing.
I don't hate – we didn't have big plates.
Like, we really only had paper plates at Grand X.
So to put an entire rotisserie chicken on a paper plate,
that's a big move.
Was there a fork anywhere nearby?
Or did he just handy that thing?
Caveman style.
Just pawing at it.
He was just savaging the chicken.
Yeah.
He went gallant knight on that thing.
He would chase it with his uh glazed donut flavored protein shake
all right that was way before i don't know man i think he i think he drank him he drank it with
his meal what was the uh what was the pre-workout that we got tagged in recently the el chapo
no they didn't call it el chapo tag don't eyes there's a el chapo pre-workout
like i may have missed we might need to run back Chapo pre-workout. You may have missed that.
We might need to run back real or fake pre-workouts.
There are some that I don't know if they've hit the market since I've done the last one or I just missed them.
Dylan, just make it happen.
There are some out there.
Just make it happen.
All right.
You know what?
Fuck it.
I will.
That was hands down our best real or fake yet.
I'm convinced there's a number of people at our gym that have been served that video or completely unfamiliar with us that see us at the
gym around that time and like we're like oh that's the guy from that fucking pre-workout guy tiktok
i saw it's a guy from uh i am fucked i am fucked up pre-workout or what's the one i made up i am
fucked up that's how you said it i am i am fucked up i am fucked up which is a real one i started
taking i started taking pre-workout after that segment because I was like, oh, maybe I should just start doing it.
So you started taking I Am God, remember?
Yeah, I started taking I Am God.
And then I was getting on the Peloton to do it and literally having a panic attack.
Y'all should have told me not to do it before a Peloton ride.
They recommend you start with a low dose and then you build your tolerance up or build your tolerance up or just like cap it at a certain time shakes are worse than
any other shakes i can't tell you what my dose even was because my sister-in-law gave it to me
in a plastic bag and i was emptying it out like this into my my stuff oh yeah that's where you
messed up you can easily take too much of that i got some ish for you i i know i did hey i'm gonna
hit you with some of that vladimir putin oh i'll pass it over to you really just fucking destroys your chin we have total war
in the cabinet right now if you want some that's also called vladimir putin that's just going on
that's good it's good yeah i'm looking this up this el chaco i was vladimir zutton off that
fucking pre-workout oh what was that god dang what was that is there one called action well there's also escobar dude escobar
dude stop looking at this stuff this is dylan's realm i know yeah get out get out of there can
you do this for wednesday hey don't cheat can you do this for wednesday's pod i just i'm the
one who brought up el chapo okay but if i'm going to do a segment on it you can't be looking at
some of these some of these we've already done some that's the thing like this one's called wrecked ass no it's not no
it's not made that one up it's fake you guys were calling me stim lord after uh i got my stimmy
check-in from sleepy joe really i can't use it everyone got one of those but you were the one
that they called the stim lord yeah Will defrauded the system.
Will got two.
No, I didn't, dude.
I got one.
Allegedly.
I got one.
Confidential didn't happen.
I don't remember what I got with my STEMI.
No STEMI checks.
Oh, I think I got a TV.
I think I bought a knockout martini.
Yeah, but it's cool, dude.
It's two drinks.
It is two drinks.
It's basically two drinks.
Look at you siding with management.
Come on.
I swear to God randy and i are
interviewing some uh some interns relatively soon i swear to god if we go three straight summers
with interns and we don't have our photo up at matt's all rancho in the entrance i'm gonna lose
my fucking mind obby really dropped the bag dude obby and callie those two were built for this
this task i feel like kelly could pull that off pretty easily yeah well one she's tall so she can
get it to a place where people won't be able to easily get it down.
Also, they're adding photos in that area at a rapid clip,
and I feel like we could just make this happen.
I feel like now is the time to do it before it gets full.
Okay.
I can make the Photoshop.
It just depends on what celebrity we'd like to pose with in the photo.
We are the celebrities in the photo.
We need to be Photoshopped in with the –
I need to Photoshop in Matt.
The Martinez family.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah yeah that'd be perfect it's just it's just i i wanted this to happen for so long let's let's make it look like a little you know aged yeah for sure for sure we'll
put a we'll put a cpu like it was taken with a film camera well you're gonna be in the photo
you look great he looked the guy came in saying he looks great and he does.
I'm just, Hey, look good right now. Look to all the people out there who are trying to cancel me
over that Dylan joke I just made. I'm just having fun. Were you saying you got a base tan or that
you're a base stand? Oh, both man. How about that? Wow. Yeah. Or are you a based Dan? No.
Dan's is Dan based, typically?
Based is one of those words that I don't really understand what it means.
I don't either, dude.
Y'all just went with it for the Patreon episode?
Yeah, kind of.
Someone told me it made sense.
It's like, okay, let's just name it that.
I appreciate that.
Yeah, based is something that's a little out of my realm.
Woke was, but I get woke now.
Mainly because I fucking am dog you want to read
you want to know what dictionary.com says about based yeah it's a slang term that originally
meant to be addicted to crack cocaine or acting like you were but was reclaimed by rapper little
b for being yourself and not caring what others think of you to carry yourself with swagger
so how does that make sense in the context of the name of our podcast because i don't think
that's actually i don't think that's a good definition i think you need to go to urban
dictionary not dictionary.com urban dictionaries hit or miss i don't know but when they miss it's
pretty spot on i trust urban dictionary with my life. I do too. They know their shit. I shouldn't, but like- But you got there.
I definitely do.
True slash factual.
Used in political slang and used ironically in memes.
There it is.
You know I love to be ironic in memes.
It's kind of a thing about me.
Endorse me on LinkedIn for that.
This guy's ironic on memes.
Thank you.
Can I read a review? Yeah review yeah man we got a review i haven't been reading
reviews lately but i saw this one the other day when i was just kind of vibing out on my phone
checking my notice just checking stats and stuff and i saw it um this is from a famous sports
spokesperson he left this on march 10th it says help okay so i need the backers
out here to help this guy he said i'm not a current listener but my ex is samantha if you're reading
this i love you please come back five stars samantha give him another shot samantha dude
we know you're listening give him another shot give famous sports spokesperson a shot
samantha hang on i'm trying to think think. Is there like a meta joke?
There's something.
There's two dots we're not connecting yet, but we need to.
Yeah.
It's there for us.
I'm sure someone's going to reach out to us next week.
Who's?
Samantha used to date a, okay, I don't know.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, man.
Will, don't look at my screen.
Don't look at the ad that was just served to me.
Those guys are fucking losers.
Don't give them any air time.
Oh, we got a big day tomorrow.
Randy's famously going to be out next Tuesday
because he's got a bachelor party this weekend.
So tomorrow is Do You Know It, a game show podcast.
I famously won the last one,
so I'm very excited about this next one
where Randy stacks the deck against me
just like he does every single week.
I think I'm due, honestly.
Do You Know It, a game show podcast.
Yeah, Randy, if you're going to do this
for the music section,
do songs from 1978 tomorrow.
1978.
That was five years before I was born.
Something in his wheelhouse is what you're saying.
I was not alive then.
Again, guys, it's just a joke.
Just do frat tunes from the mid-2000s.
Frat House Bangers.
Ying Yang Twins.
One of the funniest generational divides in this office is Randy and Brett's Frat House Banger playlist versus ours.
Because theirs is very EDM-based.
Ours is just like 80s rock.
And Yin Yang Twins.
And Yin Yang Twins.
Yeah.
It's the juxtaposition.
Every party I went to between 02 and 05, that song was played.
God.
And we all got super crunked.
Do you remember when Draper in that part came on to the window to the wall?
He just punched a hole in the drywall.
Dude, that was so frat.
God, he never paid for it.
And then he teen-wolfed a natty.
We major offensed him.
Yeah.
Good dude, though.
Still keep up with him.
Very frat.
Will wasn't invited.
So, yeah, Patreon.
Patreon.com slash Trucking Back Podcast.
Free 14-day trial for new patrons.
Go give us a chance to earn your business.
We'll probably be doing exactly five minutes Tuesday. And if if you have a voicemail get it in right now 888-618-4422 again 888-618-4422 i'm going to be fully transparent here we're not
recording on thursday because we're going to delmatch play it's a golf tournament in austin
and uh so we're not gonna be recording thursday we will be doing our voicemails tomorrow if you
want to put yours atop the pile, go make it happen.
Finally, go check out youtube.com slash circling back to watch all these episodes.
You can also check out the Wash Media shop at washmedia.shop.
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Dylan.
Yeah, man.
What'd you get into this weekend?
Oh, thanks for asking.
I had a sneaky, like a really good weekend,
actually.
Friday,
uh,
Bay and I and the,
and the,
the kids,
we went to a friend's house
to drink some
St. Patrick's Day beers.
And made you get in your fucking bag,
dog?
I had a Reuben sandwich.
It was fantastic.
You had a sandwich made out of Reuben stuttered.
I haven't had a Reuben in a minute.
Of American Idol fame.
You want to know something like,
I don't want that sandwich. Kind of embarrassing about me? That was my first Reuben sandwich I think I've haven't had a Reuben in a minute. Of American Idol fame. You want to know something like- I don't want that sandwich.
Kind of embarrassing about me?
That was my first Reuben sandwich
I think I've ever had in my life.
What?
Yeah.
It was absolute gas.
The sauerkraut's always scared me away.
I embraced it.
It's probiotic.
I'm glad I didn't do it earlier.
It's fermented.
Do you like it?
I don't know if I'm-
Reuben or sauerkraut?
Sauerkraut.
I don't know if I'm in love with sauerkraut.
I need it in doses,
like small doses.
I can't do heavy sauerkraut as a side or something doses, like small doses. I can't do like heavy sauerkraut like as a side or something.
It was gas, man.
It was so good.
So yeah.
Do you like corned beef?
Yeah.
I had to confirm that it was corned beef in the root, but I didn't want to mess that up.
I'm a fan of corned beef and cabbage on St. Patrick's Day.
It was good.
Real good.
Swiss cheese.
A little like a Thousand Island dressing.
You probably had some rye bread in the mix, right?
It was rye, which is not my favorite bread.
Like I said, I embraced it, and it was very good to me.
You know how they make that corned beef?
No, but I'm sure this is not going to be my answer.
They raise the cattle.
They're not grass-fed, though, right?
They're not grass-fed.
They just listen to corn all day.
I heard that the only thing they just listen to corn all day i heard that i heard
that the only thing they eat was uh actually corn nuts they just feed them corn nuts they listen to
corn that's how they make it well you asked i didn't i didn't actually anyway uh saturday spent
most of it with uh the little man and then i stepped out man
muckin all i stepped out i went to west six tree i felt very nostalgic i hadn't been down there
in forever nostalgic is one way to put it did they went with the total strap move have have
they have they completely turned little woodrose into like little woodrose nitro like they do most
south bys where they create a club out of you know what i didn't even uh look at i didn't even i don't know i didn't see low
address okay i went to star bar oh and uh it was uh it was i had a great time man star bars star
bars that place is so wavy like there's there'll be like a year where like you just can't go to
star bar because it's just like UTS Rat Dudes.
And then the following year, it's like,
oh, there's Dad's here.
I didn't feel old there.
If anything, I felt like I was maybe
on the younger side of the crowd, which felt nice.
That's wild.
Yes.
Wow.
When I first moved here, I hated Star Bar.
I absolutely hated it.
It's fine.
It was the one bar that I hated going to on West 6.
I never wanted to go there for some reason.
And then that hate transferred over to Maudie's.
And now that I like Maudie's,
now I need something else to hate.
You just need something to hate.
Via 313 trailer in there.
Yeah.
Well, not in there, but on the back deck.
Very good.
Good Zah on the go.
Played my Zah card, folks.
But hold on.
You got something to say?
Hold on. Dave, can you remind me got something to say? Hold on.
Dave,
can you remind me
when the Zah card resets?
It's Sunday to Saturday.
Okay.
Okay.
Guess what I did Sunday.
Okay,
I was going to say
because I might have,
I might have been on Fine Friends
and I might have seen you somewhere
which means that
you're not allowed to eat pizza
for the rest of the week.
I ran my Zah card back
because as you know,
it resets, Dave.
So I got,
I got Zah Sunday, too.
From?
Homeslice, bitch.
Yeah.
Homeslice.
And, yeah, it was a great weekend, man.
Great weekend.
Did a HIIT workout yesterday, and then I was sat by the pool.
What's the status of your bracket?
Cold plunge.
It's not that cold.
The pool was so cold.
It's like 65.
No, it wasn't, dude.
It was so freaking.
If it was over 54 degrees, then you weren't doing it.
It was so freaking cold.
You didn't get the physiological effects.
Okay.
How long did you do it for?
Not long, dude.
Did you pee pee?
Be honest.
Did you pee pee?
I didn't pee pee, no.
That's cheating because it warms your body up.
You have to hold in the pee pee.
Dude, it's disrespectful to piss in the cold plunge.
That's true.
My body naturally reacts to the cold plunge really needing to pee.
And I've learned that like,
it's just not worth it.
Once everything,
like once you get in the real cold plunge and everything shrinks back up
inside you.
Penis.
Inverts.
Then your pee pee goes away.
The need to pee pee.
I think.
Oh,
it just,
it just absorbs up into your body?
Yeah.
Ah, it doesn't do that.
You just turn into a Ken doll on the cold punch.
Yeah.
You pee out of the gap between your legs.
Oh, watch the horns take care of business on Saturday against the Nittany Lions.
That's it for my weekend, guys.
Y'all can go ahead.
Dude, that's sick.
Yeah.
Man, I wish I wasn't following that act but i am so i better
come with it unfortunately i didn't do anything so i'm gonna just give you a list of my meals
okay can i give you a list of my meals dude honestly dave i said this i said something to
sally the other day that was highly complimentary to you and and it falls in line with what you're
about to but i said i've been loving dave's Dave's orders lately. Your orders when I've been out with you lately have been on point.
Wow.
Normalize telling your friends that you're loving how they order.
Dude, I've just been – I've been jacking your swag when it comes to food lately.
Well, you know.
I'd like to get into specifics. Oh, piccata. You were there for piccata. I were there for piccata i was there for piccata
that was a banger i copied your entire order uh for red lobster recently yeah
the one thing at red lobster that wasn't good ended up on brett's plate and it was the scallops
those scallops look like little tater tots. Yeah, but he was
less upset about the scallops
and more upset about,
yeah, he was really upset
about the green beans.
Everything on his plate
was fried.
Everything.
So was the person
sitting across from him.
You gotta stick with Waltz.
You gotta go with the scumpy
or the Waltz.
Gotta go scumps.
Or the combo of the two.
Dude, the Waltz was dang.
My scumps.
Friday night.
My scumps, my scumps, my scumps.
Please stop.
So Alyssa, she was like, man, I kind of want a steak.
And for reasons that I won't disclose at this time,
as it's pending investigation,
I am unable to grill a steak at this moment.
The 10-year investigation.
It sure seems like it will.
More on that maybe next week.
So we decided to pick up. Where did
we pick up from? It's always
dicey, by the way, picking up steak. Because, you know, steak
continues to cook when you take it off.
I'm surprised you're a pick-up steak guy.
Normally not. This might
be the second time we've ever done it. But we went
to Carve. Yay!
West Austin's hottest steakhouse.
It's the place
that Brett goes every other day.
It's a great spot.
Recommend it.
Great people watching.
You might see a celeb.
You might see somebody who might be a celeb,
and then you might tell everybody.
You don't know.
Yeah, did you see any celebs while you were there?
I wasn't going to say anything, but I think I did.
So I think I saw famed U.S. figure skater Brian Boitano.
I was so impressed by your order from Carve that night that I actually decided to go get it myself.
And when I was picking it up, I went to the bar to go have a drink, another Dave Ruff special.
And, dude, I sat down.
I was right next to Tilda Swinton.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Okay.
Uh-huh.
Tilda fucking Swinton, dude.
Frat on good, sir.
She's not very frat. No, big fan. Hey,
picked up a ribeye, got a filet for the missus. It was delightful, but I would not recommend
picking up steak if it's more than like a 15 minute drive. This place is like eight to nine
minutes away from my place. Gives you enough time, get home. It's still warm and it hasn't cooked.
from my place. Gives you enough time. Get home. It's still warm and it hasn't cooked.
It's like a well-done steak. Saturday. Saturday was one of the more odd days. It was much like today in that it was cloudy and cold. No precipitation, but it was just it was just gross didn't want to go outside didn't do anything
watched basketball watched golf um might have picked up balda nucci out in west lake oh fuck
dave we could have linked and built dog i went there because of you highly recommend balda nucci's
life you ever had it? I have not.
It's a new place out there.
Yeah.
Westlake.
Westlake, yeah.
To Hood.
It was packed when I was in there.
The place does well.
I'm happy they're doing it.
They were overwhelmed with people.
I couldn't believe it.
It's a very good pizza.
Highly recommend if you want to mix it up.
It's a good New York slice.
Only old men in there when I was there.
It was just a bunch of old dudes in luxury vehicles picking up pizzas.
It was like, you know, the old men's in Italyaly how they just go watch skyscrapers being built it was like those guys
but instead of skyscrapers they were just over next to raising canes waiting to see what that
steakhouse is gonna they've been waiting dude they've been waiting for like two and a half
weeks dude something tells me the pandemic halted the uh the construction on that mid
mid-range steakhouse um watched some golf yesterday watched basketball bracket straight up busted
gonna tell you that right now mine's still perfect actually it's pretty pretty big deal
i got them all right you had arizona going down and kansas and purdue don't forget well i'm gonna
bring it up there's only two uh perfect women's brackets left. I have one of those, too. Dude, I have the other one.
What?
Damn.
What are the chances of that?
That's fucking sweet.
Yeah.
I don't objectify women in that manner.
Picking basketball games.
No, I've seen your bracket, buddy.
Okay.
You showed me your bracket earlier.
How's your big heavies bracket doing?
I didn't enter that one, actually.
You're always sending me the Sidney Sweeney bikini stuff.
I'm like, dude, I don't need to see this.
I'm not buying bikinis.
Then you might listen to this one, right?
And you know what?
I'm going to yield my time to the gentleman.
I didn't do shit this weekend.
I intentionally didn't do shit this weekend because I've had a busy social schedule as of late.
So this weekend, I decided to pump the brakes a little bit.
I watched more college basketball this weekend
than I think I've watched in the last six years combined.
And I actually had a very good time doing it.
I'm famously backing the Longhorns
to win the national championship this year.
Don't hate it.
I'm getting a piece of Longhorn apparel
delivered to my place tomorrow
that might make an appearance out at a match play this weekend.
Oh my god. Man, it's going to be too warm, dog.
Not in the morning.
You're going to regret it.
You're going to carry that the whole day.
I know. Like an idiot. You look hot, though.
Like an idiot. So yeah, I didn't do much.
I did take Dave's advice,
and I did try Baldinucci.
Dank or nah? Pretty good.
I didn't follow Dave's advice
in that he said that the other style of pizza
is better than the New York style pizza.
I did go with the New York style
as that is what my wife wanted.
But yeah, I don't know what came over me this weekend.
I think it's because I hadn't done it in a while,
but I ate meat all weekend.
All weekend.
Damn, you're off that Pesco shit.
I had a barbecue for dinner.
I had a pepperoni pizza for dinner on Saturday.
And then yesterday I had some leftover barbecue.
How was that tum-tum?
I've been over-tumsing.
I don't feel great.
But it's not the stomach that doesn't feel great.
It's everything else.
I had exactly zero drops of alcohol this weekend. I had a 0.0 Guinness to kick off St. Patrick's Day.
I drank nothing but red wine all weekend.
Red, red wine?
I didn't have very much.
Red, red wine.
I spent most of yesterday.
I did spill water all over my laptop in the office yesterday
when I was here for about an hour trying to do something on my desktop.
Not an ideal situation. But i spent most of yesterday researching because i think
your boy is going to uh make a purchase soon are you guys ready for this yeah i think i'm gonna
get a record player damn i think i'm gonna get a record player what are you gonna spend on that
thing spend or spin what are you gonna spin don't ask me what the fucking damage is what are you going to spin on that thing? Spend or spin? What are you going to spin? Don't ask me what the fucking damage is.
What are you going to spin the records?
I think I'm really excited to listen to some jazz on this, some dead, and some other stuff.
I think just some oldies.
We got a good secondhand record store down the street, and I think I'm just going to
go see what's there and get a little inspiration and go in on it.
To all the backers and to all the retail therapy
listeners who have reached out with recommendations, seriously, thank you. Made my life a lot easier.
Make sure when you get it, you make it your entire personality.
So one of the guys who's been helping me, he's a backer. He said, let me know if you have any
questions. I may or may not have made this my entire personality during lockdown. And I love
that because like- A lot of people do.
Yeah. It's a good thing. I don't think it's going to be my entire personality because I don't really
get into the tech of things. Does that make sense? The tech of something doesn't excite me., like it's a good thing. I don't think it's going to be my entire personality because I don't really get into the tech of things.
Does that make sense?
Like the tech of something doesn't excite me.
You're more of a functional person.
I just think it'd be fun to have some records to put on every once in a while and do that.
So I did that yesterday.
What I've learned is that it's not as cheap as I thought it was.
These kids don't even know what a record is.
We asked intern Callie if she knew what a floppy disk was the other day.
She did not. She had no clue. Yeah.
She had no clue. Thought about asking about a zip disk, but that's even more niche. Did she
completely miss CDs? When she was born, were they a thing or they were already on the outs?
No, she had to have been there for CDs. Had to. Those were probably too new for you at that point,
CDs. I started with cassette tapes yeah to
be quite honest i had a single of the president's united states of america uh peaches i had that
single on a cassette tape and the cassette tape itself was orange i had a clint black cassette
tape that i just wore the f out and a garth brooks actually have you given sorry that this conversation just say it what
say it you're gonna regret coming to me like this for this question that i want to ask you
apologize have you given parks his uh his essentially cd booklet of pokemon cards yeah
yeah was he pumped he stopped by on friday i stopped he like he rode his bike to the office uh yeah he was excited he he's excited
good yeah good he he wasn't like he didn't do backflips but it's not his it's not his original
set you know that's tough on him well he's still repping a set though facts you know what i mean
yeah like kind of not really but yeah facts he's pumped man there's some good ones look you should
put a uh one of those,
uh, Apple tags on it.
So if anybody steals it,
yeah,
I got a new binder.
I put his name and my phone number on the front.
So hopefully if,
uh,
it is lost again,
it'll make its way back home.
But you never know what these kids these days,
ma'am.
I replaced the batteries on my air tags this weekend.
You guys want to hear about that process or should we just move on?
Nope.
Okay.
I also did it on my car keys. Do you guys want to hear about the car key should we just move on nope okay i also did it on my car keys do you guys want to hear about the car key i do not okay cool uh let's hear from our
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Do I need to go on?
It's all the things, Dylan. I don't. I fucking love this. My favorite thing to go on it's all the things dylan
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You guys have been doing a lot of climate change stuff going on lately in the news, and I would recommend going and checking that out, Dylan, since you deny global warming so often.
Come on.
We're doing an ad read.
That's not even true.
Well, okay.
All right.
I'll go on record saying that that is not true.
Dylan does not do that.
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Wham, bam, thank you, man.
I've actually, I like doing the vitamin D.
A little droplet on the tongue.
Yeah, it's just kind of cool.
You have to do it in the mirror though, because if you just do it, you might get too much vitamin D, and that's when tum-tum issues start to go up.
Seriously, dude.
Do you want me to put too many droplets of vitamin D on your tongue right now and you'll see how your tum-tum feels in a couple hours?
Just to show you that my tum-tum is absolutely totally different than yours.
It's time for This Week in Wild Animals that are not to be trifled with.
It's a new segment we're doing.
You want to start off with...
Dylan, since you don't have a lot of stories here...
Can I go ahead and tell people at home,
like, both of these stories we're going to do,
they don't have happy endings.
No, they don't.
That's all I'm going to say.
So if you don't like...
If you're looking for a happy ending,
you're not going to get it here fast forward
about four minutes, maybe longer.
Okay.
Which one should we start with?
We're doing a four-minute segment.
That was a little bit low.
That was a low ball.
Let's do monkey.
An escaped monkey was shot and killed in southern Oklahoma
after it reportedly mangled a woman's ear and slapped a man across the face.
One of the most disrespectful things you can do.
They had a duel, dude.
They put on gloves and they slapped each other.
You've seen that?
What's with that sport now, man?
It's so bad.
It's got to stop.
This is a very dad take.
This needs to be outlawed.
I absolutely agree.
They should not be doing this.
These guys are getting smoked.
You see the one guy who refused to quit
and his face just swelled up to the size of a watermelon? got to the point where the other guy like just gave up because i
think he felt bad hitting the guy cut me yeah the guy won i think with the ballooned face it was
ridiculous well dylan there's a video filmed in ardmore oklahoma they famously roll all their
joints wrong there yeah uh randall flynn shows the primate snacking on an orange and it sat at
flynn's doorway.
What's a monkey doing in Oklahoma?
Flynn asked while taking a video of the monkey through the screen door.
And when the monkey left his porch
and started approaching Flynn's dog in the yard,
the video shows him open the door
and yell for the dog to get away.
And that's when the monkey turned around
and charged aggressively at the door where he stood.
Luckily, he managed to do it just in time.
All right, there is something funny about a monkey
just hanging out eating an orange in your yard.
Yeah, it's like, what do you do there?
It's like, okay, just casual.
Yeah.
Trespassing, eating an orange.
Where'd you get the orange?
I told you about that dude walking a monkey through my neighborhood like a few weeks ago.
That's tight.
Had a diaper on.
Well, so this monkey also went to the neighbor, Brittany Parker.
Not your Brittany.
Oh, okay.
Different Brittany.
Brittany Parker.
And she said, he ran up my back and jumped onto my head, pulled my hair out, and then
ripped my ear in half like you would a piece of paper.
Ooh.
What kind of monkey are we talking about?
Dude, I don't know.
There's clearly...
Okay.
She called her friend for help.
And when the friend arrived, the monkey approached the friend's vehicle, slapped him across the
face and pulled his hair.
And then Parker said her friend shot and killed the monkey.
That's disrespectful.
So this guy was strapped up.
If you slap a grown man in the face, you're just expecting smoke, right?
That's how you start a fight.
How pisses this monkey that the guy didn't slap it across the face back
in a retaliation, and he just got shot.
If a monkey slapped me across the face, I don't know what I would do.
I'd be pretty shocked.
They're lucky it was a tiny monkey and not like a chimp or something oh that could have been real ugly because you
know you know they will famously like rip your penis off and throw it they start pulling body
parts pull your heart out and show it to you put it back in just to like keep you alive for a few
more minutes sew it back up they're savages dude chimp it ain't easy that's a pimpin ain't easy play folks but it's necessary ladies is chimps too no still nuts
yeah uh what a wild ass monkey what what kind of who owned this monkey what kind of tool they pull
on them does it say dude apparently it was a tommy gun what yeah the guy pulled a tommy gun i don't
like to make light of of animals getting shot and killed
uh and i don't know if this monkey deserved it i almost feel like maybe they should have just
tried to trap it first and return it to its rightful owner but like if you're gonna rip her
ear like a like a piece of paper maybe maybe you deserve a little smoke if you rip an ear
you gotta expect to get smoked in the front yard this is like a james mcmurtry song this monkey doesn't look i don't know what that means okay yeah what is that supposed to mean
okay he's just a singer songwriter it's no no dave dave no famously wrote choctaw bingo
just do it do it like all good comedians do and explain why the joke is funny i regret i regret
even existing do we get when do we get i think you should leave may may
okay i i remember seeing ma on the announcement tweet but i couldn't remember if it was march
believe it's may i think we'll do anything for succession debuting next week next is that next
week uh is you shitting me i'm not gonna say it again is you shitting me i think we might need to i think my
favorite part of us recapping succession is the business hardos that come out of the woodwork and
yell at us for not doing things not not not being privy enough and how things work like sorry yeah
yeah they'd never uh take the corporate minutes in that manner yeah that's not how it works
never been in a boardroom to me business guy or discotheca
yeah bibliotheca they didn't even read i'm more into fucking murders and acquisitions dog murders
yeah i can't talk about it i will say if this thing got near my dog that's when i would become
a little bit more aggressive oh still would be terrified of this thing remember that dude in australia that kangaroo got his dog and he just walked up and just stalk him yes that kangaroo
is so shocked he's like i cannot believe you actually punched me he just ran off what does
a dog do in this scenario like let's say let's say this monkey rolls up to rosie
bad news for rosie is it i think you would try to hurt rosie like what would it where
would it start the years probably years went after that lady's ear i just feel like a dog's got more
of a killer instinct in it to flip a switch more than i do if it starts ripping my ear
well you know they got the thumbs don't forget they're tiny thumbs though yeah but they got
thumbs they can grab dave a dog can't grab with
its paws no but it does have vicious canines teeth yeah canines are useful chompers i was
gonna say my dog doesn't have any dogs what if your dog just had goons got what if what if randy
like around the corner of your backyard what if randy just had like a a cage with a bunch of
pit bulls in it be weird what are you you raising it
how did you really can you explain what's going on back here where did you get these
where did you adopt these dogs he's got he's got a dog fighting ring like michael vick
oh would you be able to what he did i mean yeah he did not say it is right he did some
he did some bad shit man i feel like Michael, I feel like he got
like an appropriate amount
of punishment
when that happened.
I think.
I don't really remember.
But no one talks about that
as much anymore.
You think he was forgiven
too easily, don't you?
No, I'm not saying
he was forgiven,
but like the dog fighting ring
doesn't really come up
that often anymore.
He played after that.
He served his time.
Yeah, maybe he did.
But Ray Lewis got off
way easier
for murdering someone
than Ray Lewis.
He wasn't convicted. He wasn't convicted.
He wasn't convicted.
He is one of the original bullies of Baltimore.
Check out Too Much Dip, last week's episode,
where we recap that.
Sports.
Anyway, shout out to this monkey.
Shout out to his family.
What's up with this zebra?
What's going on in the Midwest?
First, we got monkeys in Oklahoma.
Now we've got zebras in Ohio biting dudes' arms off.
They bit a dude's arm all the way off.
Yeah, they killed it.
Police killed it after it mauled a man's arm.
Oh, nearly ripping it from his body.
Like how? God. it um after it mauled a man's arm oh nearly ripping it from his body like how god how near like i feel like the i feel like nearly could go a lot of different ways
the dispatcher asked if the animal bit his arm clifton said oh hell yes oh hell yeah oh hell yeah brother what like yeah it was his was his uh
shoulder like out of socket or it was his that's my theory is there is there muscle like holding
it on to his body like that's what i need to know i don't know if i need to know that but that's the
question i have what what got into the zebra why did do this one deputy attempted to position his
cruiser between clifton and the zebra when a large male zebra oh multiple zebras when one large male zebra charged the driver's
side door and acted very hostile you don't want to deal with a with a gang of zebras after using
the cruiser siren and air horn the deputy deputy was able to get the zebra to back off so he could
get to clifton whose arm is bleeding below the elbow they got those hooves on them too dave don't forget about the hooves it's just like a horse it's a little horse yeah
that's what it is have you ever rolled up on like a dazzle of zebras and just been like oh shit where
did all these zebras come from you looked up the what a group of zebras is called and you wanted
to use it in a sentence you didn't know that you didn't know it was called a dazzle it's probably
you didn't know that interesting what an idiot didn't know me you probably didn't know it was called a dazzle? I'm surprised you didn't know that. Interesting.
What an idiot.
Didn't know me. You probably didn't even know they're also called a zeal.
Did everybody know that?
Didn't know me, didn't know dazzle.
I mean, dude, you are really showing your ass today.
Come on, I knew dazzle.
Everybody knows that shit.
Show us that duck.
Come on, dude.
You want to see it?
Yeah, show us that ass.
I almost pulled it out on live stream and
y'all talked me out of it remember yeah i wish i hadn't that might be one of the only like only
responsible things i've done i just got to show like three inches of butt cheek and then you can
see it it's not like i'm showing the whole crack or anything you know and just for transparency
purposes your dad does know you have this or does not does not know unless he listens he listens to
like one out of every 10 episodes so he might find out 10 chance is david's favorite david's favorite no no no
david's favorite contributor david's favorite contributor yeah let's stay clear for sure
y'all are fine but like dave man when he contributes man i gotta tell you
i'd be i know i already know that my mom's favorite podcast is the mail and it would
devastate me if i found out that i wasn't her favorite host of Circling Back.
That would be tough.
That would be tough.
You better prepare yourself.
So hold on.
Where did this happen again?
Ohio.
Why are there zebras in Ohio?
Is this like Texas where you can just have African animals on your ranch and call it that?
There are probably zebras in 47 of the 50 states.
There can't be that much difference between a zebra and like a
horse right i feel like the the actual on a micrological level the way you can tell the way
you can tell the difference is a zebra has black and white stripes yeah i feel like body i feel
like god just got bored one day and he was like yeah let's make a let's make a wild one let's make
a micro dose one a micro dose one uh yeah i don't know what's up with zebras what what purpose
do they serve in uh the ecological um just vibes dude vibes only yeah vibey yeah they're the
vibeyest horse out there when they dazzle your ass you're like damn you just prance around just
dazzling i'm getting dazzled by the fucking zeb yeah what are these zebras doing are they doing
like the they doing that like gymnastics competition where you have like the the
ribbon dance that's what they do they're just dazzling yeah if you know if you out there and
you play a song like on a bts or something they'll just hit you with it don't i'm surprised you
didn't know this but um zebras play a vital role on farms because they are more aggressive than
horses and donkeys and they can scare away predators.
Oh, I told you about the reason people keep donkeys around, like, ranches and whatnot, right?
They stomp out foxes, coyotes.
Coyotes.
They'll straight stomp them out.
I'm more of a slonkeys guy.
What they do is they take their hooves and they just bash their brains in.
It's a true story.
A coyote.
You ever see that? Don't you have fun facts about donkeys oh you want to know about a mule mules are infertile you hear about
this yeah you've told you've told this numerous times so what you do is you take a horse it's
got to be uh i believe it's got to be a female horse and a male donkey, and they mate, and you get a mule.
They give birth to a mule.
Not they, but the female horse.
So are they technically going – are they going away because they're just getting incrementally more horse than they are mule?
What are you talking about?
I don't know.
No, it's a 50-50 split, a hybrid.
It's a hybrid animal.
But mules themselves are infertile.
They can't actually
procreate god you think it's like the juxtaposition once that embryo hits no it's not
that that word is not that doesn't play here i think it does anyway mules are um
they're great work animals working animals okay They have the strength of a horse.
What are you talking about?
But the stamina,
the durability of a donkey.
What the fuck's wrong with you?
Mules are great working animals.
You didn't know that?
Yeah,
but I just don't know
how we went down this road.
I'm spitting facts
and you just...
I mean, you are,
but it's just like
you're just putting facts out
into a vacuum.
I got a Moscow mule one time
and it kind of made me
want to do nothing except order another one. They usually don't do that. Dude just putting facts out into a vacuum. I got a Moscow mule one time and it kind of made me want to do nothing
except order another one.
They usually don't do that.
Dude,
Moscow mules had a moment.
Like 2015,
2017.
Dude,
no,
before that,
Dave.
Dude,
I think it was 2010.
They're fine.
If you weren't,
if you weren't mulling back then,
I think like 2010 to 2012,
like people that were ordering Moscow mules
at restaurants,
they thought they were fucking high class.
It was the copper, the copper mug. mug dude did you ever go to a place that tried to serve them in a regular glass you're like what the fuck is this isn't a moscow mule this is this is an
imposter this is like a mule has no chin i did a piece of shit thing i did a piece of shit thing
when i was uh drinking moscow mules at a rapid clip it's a callback it's a good callback i got
to the point where the bartenders
were like, you don't need to give me your ID anymore
to get the Copper Cup because that's what they would do because
they were stolen so often.
Finally, I became a regular
and then I was going to move soon and
I eventually just stole the Copper Cup two times
later. That was a long
con. You built up trust over a number
of years and then finally you're like, you know what? Fuck these guys.
Shout out to the tipsy pig in san francisco marina district draper i'm sorry he
used to drink so many he would bring his own copper cup seriously yeah drapes yeah he had a
yeti a copper yeti are you friends with chris draper yeah don draper
no it's just draper oh nobody knows his first name his first Oh. Nobody knows his first name. His first name is Dre.
His first name is Draper.
Last name Purr.
That's weird.
Meow.
Can we talk about our friends over at Shopify real quick?
Ooh, yeah.
There's this cha-ching noise that happens
whenever a sale is made on there.
I hate notifications.
I famously have them off for most of my apps
outside of the ones that are extremely necessary. But when you hear that cha-ching come through from Shopify,
you know that's another sale and it gets very exciting.
Make your business dreams become a reality, Dylan. We use Shopify across the network.
If you've ever purchased anything from washmedia.shop, it came from a Shopify store.
We're all old here. We don't know how to do things on the web that
well, but Shopify makes it really easy.
It's the commerce platform revolutionizing millions
of businesses worldwide.
You could sell anything from
hats to cats, I guess.
Don't sell
cats on Shopify. Maybe it's just
stuffed cats, like stuffed animals.
Stuffed animal cats. You could probably find that, yeah.
They simplify selling online and in person so you can focus on successfully growing your business.
Shopify covers every sales channel from in-person POS systems to an all-in-one e-commerce platform.
It even lets you sell across social media marketplaces like TikTok, Facebook, and Instagram.
And it's packed with industry-leading tools, so you're ready to ignite your growth.
It is so user-friendly.
I use it often, and it's so easy for me.
And like Will said, not good at web stuff,
whatever you worded it.
And I can navigate it just fine.
I have had previous experience with other platforms
that do similar things to Shopify.
And Dylan has taught me things on Shopify
that I did not know how to do.
That's facts.
I'm not proud of what I just said.
That's great, man.
Thank you for admitting that.
And thanks to 24-7 help and extensive business course libraries,
Shopify is even there to help support you in your success every step of the way.
If you don't have a deal in there, they can just tell you what to do.
So now it's your turn to get serious about selling to try Shopify today.
This is Possibility powered by Shopify.
Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash circling,
all lowercase. Go to shopify.com slash circling, all lowercase.
Go to Shopify.com slash circling to take your business to the next level today. Shopify.com
slash circling. You are a good whistler. I'll give you that. I'm the best whistler. No one's
better than me. Thank you for the compliment.
Let's have a whistle off.
No, don't.
He's a loud whistler.
I got that loud one, dog.
You don't want that smell. You don't want to hear it.
I'm not.
Loud ones are for people that are trying to prove something.
That's not me.
Yeah.
It's like driving a monster truck.
Yeah, dude.
Cool.
Show us your piece.
Cool lifted 350, dog.
Show us your penis.
Your ear drums will be the signature bracket right now, dog.
Oh, I forgot something dope I did this weekend.
Dude, no one cares.
We're past that segment.
Dude, I copped something lit.
Did you go mudding? You copped something lit. Did you go mudding?
You copped something lit.
All right.
What lit thing did you cop?
I got a lounge chair from my patio.
How did we get there?
Yeah.
We're talking monster trucks.
Come on, dog.
Because I was driving.
I had to drive a truck.
I was famously driving a Ford F-150 from the furniture store where I towed it.
And so I started thinking about trucks.
What?
What? What?
You don't think I have access to a Ford F-150?
You can't drive a Ford F-150.
That's too much vehicle for you.
I did the other day.
Wow.
Yeah.
Who did it belong to?
My father-in-law.
In truck mind.
It's a Lariat, so you know he got those leather seats.
Damn.
Dude, call it Larry to freeze. Have to admit, this truck needs to go. It's not Lariat, so you know he got those leather seats. Damn. Dude, call Larry to freeze.
Have to admit, this truck needs to go.
It's not a safe truck.
I would not drive with Fritz in this truck.
Okay.
Bit madness.
Do we like the truck or not?
It's an honest truck.
Okay.
It's a working man's truck.
Dave, if I could drive this truck anywhere but highways in Austin, Texas, I would do that.
If I was driving this truck around Harbor Springs, Michigan, I'd feel fine about it.
Being on the highway, it starts to rattle a little bit.
Should have just stuck to the dirt roads.
Do you guys have sweet 16 parties?
I try to, man.
I mostly chill on them, though.
What was the last time you were on a dirt road?
You're a pavement guy.
Let's be honest here. You're a pure a pavement guy. Let's be honest here
You're a city boy. I smells on a dirt road was with
Sally and I over you're in Italy old country October in October in Michigan. We were driving down some dirt roads
In dirt roads in Michigan. Yeah two tracks, dude
That's sick. They used to call me two chains, but then I started doing two tracks so much
They started call you willie two tracks yeah me and the boys used to take a dirt road down to the creek bed
just drink meat all night just watch the dazzle roll through
really just we used to have a lot of sales of time just wild zebras in duncanville
they used to call us dazzleville because of all the zebra on account of all the
zebras yeah that that's yeah in the mead in the mead you know it's from it's made from honey you
guys make your own mead or do you acquire it so we do we yeah because you know I'm also a beekeeper
I did not know that I'd be keeping bees just for the for the mead purposes we can move on to bit madness
we've already it's just gonna be a long i was learning so much about i was i actually was uh
talking to some people the other day and they heard that dylan might have had some wild horses
at his place but he didn't have any wild zebras and they were like damn dude what's dorn's zeal that's true that happened oh there it is what fucking roasting you okay oh shit on behalf
on behalf of will put your roast in it's a will roast but i am pointing out that you did get
roasted i put your fucking roast hand down i did let's move on to the bracket dude i'm over meat
smokers only my hand is darn roasting only i thought you were about to do a mead smokers only.
You can't smoke mead.
You can smoke a mead cocktail, but you're famously over that,
so you can't do it anymore.
Dylan dips his blunts in mead.
Dude, that's gangster.
Will's crew back in the day, they were mead smokers only.
That's all that he burned.
I mean, to be fair't we didn't smoke weed in
high school or anything but like once we actually started acquiring weed i can't imagine it was that
good you can't imagine it was that good probably the pencil shavings and oregano i used to smoke
in high school it just never hit you got twisted on it or not no okay just like hurt my i've never
coughed the heart harder in my entire life than the first time I smoked weed. I was behind a pine tree in Oxford, Ohio with my old roommate.
And he was like, let's go do this.
Are there pines in Ohio?
Behind a pine tree?
It's a weird way to retell a story.
Well, there were a bunch of trees in a circle, and it was a really easy place to go just to smoke weed.
Maybe behind the pine?
Is that like a thing that y'all said?
Yeah, I don't know.
You're pretty familiar
with riding the pine.
Oh, you were a fucking bench warmer.
Yeah, I got benched
a couple of times.
It's true.
That's how it happens.
I was in a slump one time
and the coach was like,
let's just take a couple
Did they bench you
after your mom retrieved
your home run ball?
No, I should have been benched
except for I hit one
that's like a 450-yard shot.
I kind of wish
that would have ignited
your mom's passion
for finding home run balls and she started competing with that dork that goes to like
every stadium for every game she's out in the uh in the water behind uh candlestick or whatever
the stadium she's in a kayak those guys they just sit out there man oh fuck do you think people do
that for like concerts out there that'd be a great way to listen to a concert. Dude, for sure.
For sure, dude.
Hey, dude, let's do Bit Madness.
Okay.
It's the sweet, sweet 16.
For those of you not familiar with Bit Madness,
our listeners take a bunch of bits that we've done over the years,
they rank them, and then we do a little bracket.
And right now, we got 16 teams left, baby.
Let's get into it.
In the too much dip bracket,
Randy, that's your cue to zoom in.
You got it.
We've got number eight.
Rick Merriman.
Here's a tasty little matchup. Versus number
five. What's the damage?
What's the damage?
Ooh.
You know, what's the damage at a really strong run,
but it was a short run?
Burned out.
We wore it out in like a month.
Burned out bright, though.
See, here's the thing.
The way you're sitting is making me uncomfortable.
I don't feel good about it.
I've been having some circulation issues,
so I'm trying to just fucking gargle.
You're thumbnail chasing.
No.
You're gargling.
No, Dave gets a thumbnail for roasting you.
No, we've played that too many times.
No, you don't have to move.
Sorry, I shouldn't have...
He was gargoyling.
You were.
I mean, he was.
I have to go with Brick Merriman
because I don't even associate Brick
with his fits at this point.
I associate it with just something going poorly
in Brett's life.
Like scallops at Red Lobster? Yeah, like's life. Like scallops at Red Lobster?
Yeah, like when he ordered the scallops at Red Lobster.
That's a brick. And I don't even
consider Brick Merriman to be
directly associated with Brett.
Brett's a good dresser. It's just, oh, there's a brick.
I'm going with what's the damage, so
Dylan can be the good guy or the bad guy. Go ahead, bud.
Oh, this is
pretty easy for me.
This is Br brick and mortar.
Oh!
Get that eight seed.
Come on!
This is a final four.
Out of all the Brett-centric things that we could possibly have on here,
this is definitely my fave.
Sorry.
Oh, West Texas.
Number six, Bay changing Dylan's name versus number two,
Brett spotting fake celebrities at Carb.
He's face blind.
Let's not forget.
No, I was with him for the Sandlot guy.
And Chris Harrison is so plausible that there's no way.
He lives like-
I'm sorry, Chris Harrison definitely was at Carve.
That's the one that I know was there.
I bet Chris Harrison like lives at Carve.
He probably lives at his house.
No, he's got a little place in the back.
Chris Harrison doesn't bring his wallet to Carve.
He just says, put it on my tab.
And then they send him a bill every month
and his accountant takes care of it.
You ever wanted to go to a bar
or like be like a regular at a bar?
So you just say, put it on my tab.
No. And like, you just leave. And then like two weeks later, bar, so you just say, put it on my tab? No.
You just leave, and then two weeks later,
they're like, hey, you got that tab.
You pay it then, like back in the olden days.
Remember?
That's what we had going at the-
That's some small town shit.
Yeah.
I'm a small town kid.
Those saran wrap sandwiches that you're talking about all the time?
It's like Dave at the Jigs alone.
Yeah.
We got tabs in the back.
Partner, you still
owe from last time.
Only take one.
You owe $69.
Careful on them tabs.
Can't pay you up, Sonny.
Don't drive.
Don't mount your horse
after a tab.
I'm going with
Brett spotting
fake celebrities
at Carve
because I am famously not in favor of changing your last name.
There will be no onus on this one.
It's moving through.
Oh, come on.
I said last time that Brick Mary was my favorite.
This is my favorite, Brett.
You had to change your name legally.
No.
You had to go before a magistrate and say.
Do you have to go before a magistrate to change the pronunciation?
May I please the court?
Yeah.
You please the court.
The court was very pleased.
We've got number two.
We're going down to the Sunday Scaries bracket.
We have number two, frat Dave versus number 11, stretching your penis.
It says peace.
It says peace.
I know, but for the people out there that are new listeners, one, I apologize.
Two, peace refers to penis.
You think anybody's made it this far?
No one's made it this far.
No one's listening.
This was a gaseous episode up to this point
yeah they don't say gaseous why just a weird way of saying that gaseous gaseous
or gaseous gaseous it's preferred it's pronounced gas it's not i know i just wasn't really sure
where you're going the root word of that just sounds gross this is easy for me this isn't
even hard this might be the easiest matchup we have today.
It's frat Dave for me.
Oh, my God.
The best episode that we've done in recent memory,
recent memory, was Bone Voyage.
And part of the reason I enjoyed Bone Voyage for so long
was because Dave did about 10 minutes of frat Dave
during Bone Voyage.
I'm going to slide Dave the onus
and make him just do the pompous thing of picking himself.
He's got to pick himself.
I'm going stretching your piece yeah does frat dave have vocal fry i can't remember
yeah uh you know i look as much as i love stretching your piece i gotta go with frat dave
is people like it i don't yes you do i don't really enjoy doing it so i don't. Yes, you do. I don't really enjoy doing it,
so I don't really ever do it.
Shut up, dude.
You do it like once an episode.
Shout out Draper.
Number four,
Brett's financial advice
versus number one,
Randy posting Graham's mid-pod.
By the way,
I'm pretty sure Randy did this last week.
He did.
We didn't notice.
Correct.
I noticed it after.
Correct, yeah.
I bet he was so upset.
Correct, yeah.
For that reason, I'm going to put number one through.
Randy posting Graham's mid-pod.
I don't like it.
I don't necessarily like interruptions during podcasts,
but I've started to understand that interrupting our podcasts
or someone doing content is not something I can be down on,
and I think I need to start standing it because I want Randy to do numbers,
at Randy Trumbacki.
It's an engagement play.
He knows what he's doing.
He's not even dating someone.
Okay.
Well, not that I know of.
He doesn't tell me anything.
Engagement hack.
No, no, no.
I'm telling tales out of school here, but he might have met a fair young maiden yesterday.
Is that true?
Really?
At the Renaissance Fair, huh?
Yeah. Yeah, they were
LARPing together.
I don't know. Check the gram.
Okay.
I think he got one off
just now and he wants us to go look. I'm not even gonna do it.
Dude, they've been calling it the Randissance Fair
ever since. Oh, man. Who took that photo?
Was that Giorgio?
Yeah. You went to a Renaissance for
Giorgio Armani. You just told us to go check
the Grom because you got a post off.
The fact that we're discovering this
mid-pod right now means
that just means that this goes through. I'm going
Randy posting Grams mid-pod. Sometimes
you got to respect someone's game. I also have to say
Randy, you're a fun guy,
but going to a
Renaissance fair with you seems exhausting. Randy. Dan, you're a fun guy, but going to a renaissance fair with you seems exhausting.
Randy.
Dan, there were times where you would just put the camera on Dan, and Dan, who does content
for a living, is just like, come on, man.
Randy, you had a hair day yesterday.
I'll give that to you.
He knew.
You are good for the young maidens.
Right.
Right.
Legally aged maidens. Yes, of of course did they have legal ages back then something tells me they didn't were they fair
the fairest on all the land david randy are you private or public on public okay it's private we
don't he blocked if i found out that anyone here was private i'd be very upset be funny if you
didn't follow randy i didn't follow my wife until like four years after yeah i'm sorry about that um i like
the idea of randy like being on like um bumble or hinge and like a girl like goes to his profile
on the grom oh dude and it's like okay okay please put one of these on your on your prof
i definitely like you can link your instagram so
you can see your past feed i i don't do that like because there's there's no way i feel like randy's
fishing from a specific pond you know when it comes to the hinge she's got to have a she's got
to have a sense of humor well a very specific kind of sense of humor yeah like he's he's a unique cat she also loves
tentacles and tentacles okay she needs eight legs you hear about these octopus farms off of uh
portugal no apparently they're raising a lot of octopus over over there uh for food purposes
but because of the recent rise in the awareness of how smart octopi are,
people are up in arms over it.
Micah famously orders octopus
anytime it's on the menu.
Anytime.
He says that.
Oh my God.
Did they create an octopazoozie?
Mm-hmm.
What are you even doing?
How'd pazoozie not get on the bracket?
It's like six days old.
No, I feel like it was a month ago.
It is right here.
It's number four.
I only talk about Pazuzzi.
It is on the bracket.
Oh, it was on the bracket.
It just got smoked.
It got smoked by Demido.
Tough, dude.
Yeah.
That's like getting Fairleigh Dickinson in the first round.
Fairleigh whatinson?
Dude, I'm mostly Dickinson.
Fairleigh Dickinson.
I'm mostly Dickson.
Okay.
Hello.
Okay.
What, Randy?
I'm Fairleigh Dickinson.
Boiler up.
Purdue, more like Padont.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
Purdue, you know it. It's a game show where everybody loses in the first round.
That stinks.
You got a fucking point now.
That's a comedy point right there.
You got it this time, motherfucker.
Sorry.
We're in the mail-in bracket.
We got Dylan going mega viral versus number 13, Doug Dimmadome.
Double D.
Dimmadome.
It's the Dimmadome for me.
Double D.
Dimmadome.
It's the Dimmadome for me.
It's tough because had Randy only done the Dimmadome costume and not gone to college game day as Dimmadome,
I think Dylan going mega viral goes through because that was a wild time.
No, it was a signature win.
That was a wild time.
It was a big moment for your boy.
But what's bigger, Dylan going mega viral and being an online sensation
or Doug Dimmadome being a sensation on television?
You know I'm a Dimmadome stan. You know that. Are we doing Doug Dimmadome? I'm doing Doug Dimmadome. All right Doug Dimmadome being a sensation on television? You know I'm a Dimmadome stan.
You know that.
Are we doing Doug Dimmadome?
I'm doing Doug Dimmadome.
All right, Dimmadome.
Dimmadome.
Dimmadome wins by 20.
Doug Dimmadome.
In the Sweet 16.
Not close.
That video he put up
was just gas.
I'm sorry.
He's doing content.
If someone asked me
what Doug Dimmadome
is from right now,
I still wouldn't even know.
But you still love it.
In our final matchup of the mail-in
bracket, we've got
number 11, Elizabeth Holmes' voice.
Elizabeth Holmes.
This is number 2, the juxtaposition.
The juxtaposition.
Sorry.
This is hard. I like them both.
I like that the juxtaposition angers
Dylan for some reason, and I like that
my favorite bit about Dylan is Elizabeth Holmes' voice.
Fair news.
Fair news.
Elizabeth Holmes.
You looking at me to vote?
I don't know.
I don't want to vote first, but I don't want any onus.
Look, as much joy
as the Elizabeth Holmes voice has brought
all of us,
I'm rocking with the
juxtaposition and that's where i come out what dylan the final four is just going to be like
brett bricking and then like dave like alternate personalities dibba dome's making a pretty good
case yeah doug is edited What's your vote, Doug?
The juxtaposition.
Because even though I get joy out of you doing the Elizabeth Holmes voice,
I also get joy out of the exhaustion that you feel
anytime you can tell that the word juxtaposition
is going to fall out of Dave's mouth.
We got number two.
This is in the brunch bracket.
Number two, filling up on chips and salsa
versus number three, Brett owning land in West Texas. This is in the brunch bracket. Number two, filling up on chips and salsa versus number three, Brett owning land in West Texas.
This is tough.
I'm going to go first on this one
as I had the onus on me last time.
As much as I do enjoy Brett owning land in West Texas,
I think out of everyone in the company,
I'm less into it because I've known about this
for much longer somehow.
But I also really love filling up on chips and salsa
or Dave filling up on chips and salsa or day filling
up on chips and salsa you've known about that too randy and i went to a matt's on rancho for
lunch the other day and i i started filling up on chips and salsa i couldn't help it but i just
feel like we've all been there that's the vibe this uh you know the vibes it gets the best of
us man chips and salsa goes through for me you want want the onus or you pass it to me?
What's up there?
Brett owning land in West Texas is perhaps my favorite bit of all of these
because he does famously own four-plus acres in West Texas.
Pecos, Texas, that is.
Down Pecos way. Pecos, Texas, that is. Down Pecos way.
Pecos.
Yeah, around, you just take I-20 and you just keep going straight.
You'll hit something near there eventually.
Yeah.
I'm going with the three-seed Brett.
Yeah.
For me, this is a Final Four team.
Anything that it gets matched up against at this point is going to be in for a very rude awakening.
I got Brett owning land in West Texas.
It's a matchup nightmare.
It is.
They're just playing so well right now.
So hot.
Our final matchup today.
Number five, famously,
versus number one, Zockhart.
And Zockhart took out Aziz last round.
That's tough.
Zockhart's had a run.
Zockhart took out Brett knowing about aviation as well as Aziz's voice.
Is it going to take out famously?
I forgot about aviation.
Our brunch boys deserve better.
But it's got to be Zockhart for me.
You hate to see famously go down at a great run in their home stadium yeah oh that's a good point man it's tough to see that but
zockhart it's a home court loss i don't know how good zockhart is going to be next season
i think a lot of their players are declaring for the draft, but they're formidable this season.
Yeah, they're playing really, really well.
It's going to be a rebuilding year for them.
NIL changes that, though.
I mean, you might just be able to plug and play some freshmen coming in.
Yeah, that's pretty good insight from Will.
That's good, Will.
Good stuff.
Okay.
I like to go the extra NIL.
The Elite Eight is set.
Bit Madness,
Sweet 16 in the books
will be,
I think we'll be finishing
everything out
on Wednesday's episode.
Isn't that how we normally do it?
No, no, no.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
We will do the Elite Eight
on Wednesday's episode
and then a week from today
on Monday,
we will be doing
the
Final Four
as well as the championship round.
That is how we do it in the past.
That is how we will be doing it
right now.
Any closing thoughts today, boys?
I thought it was a strong episode.
I thought that was a great episode.
I think people will agree.
Yeah, I think people will look back on this
and be like, yeah, that was pretty good.
They probably learned something, too.
They learned about the dazzle.
Learned about mead.
Maybe mead.
Based.
I think we came into this episode with a lot of zeal,
and I think we really dazzled our listeners here.
That was good, man.
Let's see what you did.
Before we go, let me ask you guys a question.
I got a piece of it.
Please make it.
If you were to order a sandwich for KJ from Thundercloud,
because he's about to be here.
Get him the Lady Bird.
Oh, no, no.
He wants the Italian, but he didn't give me a pepper choice.
What?
Sweet.
Are you kidding?
You go sweet?
Oh, yeah.
It's a no-brainer, Dan.
I got to pee-pee.
Dude, get egg salad on his Italian.
Hey, thanks for listening, everybody.
Very cool.
Go pee.
Bye.