Circling Back - 700 Pounds of Beef & Cutting Lines
Episode Date: November 6, 2019A Texas A&M grad thinks his best dating attribute is that he gets "700 lbs of beef," people are literally dying over Popeye's Chicken Sandwich, Brett loves Panera, and This Weekend In Fun. We also dis...cuss the fact that Dillon *still* hasn't bleached his undercarriage. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (22:30) 700 lbs of Beef Dude on Twitter (35:46) People Are Getting Stabbed At Popeye’s (51:34) This Weekend In Fun (1:01:31) Brett's Breaking News Shop Circling Back Merchandise: www.washedmedia.com/shop Earlybird CBD: www.earlybirdcbd.com (CIRCLINGBACK for 20% off) Hawthorne: www.hawthorne.co (CIRCLINGBACK for 10% off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
All right, we're back circling back podcast live in the early bird CBD studio in Austin,
Texas.
My name is Will DeFreeze to my right, Dave Ruff.
I'm going to miss the early bird CBD studio.
Always.
This place has been good to us.
You always remember your first.
God, it's going to be fun.
It's going to be fun having a new spot, though.
If any brands want to sponsor the new spot, feel free.
You know, holler at our boy Brett over here.
Brett.
We'll call it whatever.
Brett at washedmedia.com.
Again, that's Brett, two Ts, washedmedia.com.
Is it Brett or Brent?
You know, I've almost made that mistake.
Really?
That's hurtful.
It's confusing because you tell us to call you Big Game Brett,
but Big Game Brent Musburger is who originated that nickname,
so it's just confusing to me.
Is he cornered like the old man gambling corner?
It's terrible content.
It's bad.
It's bad.
I like when he has radio stuff.
It's pretty good.
But when he's trying to do the video
like podcast stuff and trying to be segmenty i'm not a fan yeah i agree with that were you
gonna say something about the uh studio name that's when you reach for the mic yeah i i would
say that if you uh if you're a brand out there looking to get your product or service um in front
of thousands of people if not not hundreds of thousands of people.
Multi-thousands.
Some say millions by the end of 2020.
Small to mid-sized amount of people.
Multi-thousands.
Maybe large, Dave.
I don't know.
Macro thousands.
Hey, and don't even limit it to just brands.
If you're just a guy or a gal
and you just want your name on the studio.
Yeah.
We're not above donors.
If you want to be the first booster in watch media history.
Yeah, we'll give you the field house.
If you're a dude named Gary that lives in
Cedar Rapids, we can do
the Gary from Cedar Rapids studio.
If Gary has money,
then we will accept that.
I kind of want a lady. A lady's name.
That's fun.
There's a chick's name, Gary.
Samantha from Des Moines, something like that.
Why are they from...
We're a big Iowa. We're they from we're big you never know we got some des moines people listening i'm quite i'm quite sure i was thinking
more like a wash media studio to begin with though just just before we get someone else on board i
was thinking tammy from toledo no one we're not accepting ohio money you're big on alliteration aren't you I love alliteration
I love drawing
yeah
that's fun
yeah
if you're
if you're interested
in sponsoring the studio
reach out
I'll be here
right at washmedia.com
what'd you just do
Will
I turned off the
I mean to pull the curtain back
did you hit the calm thunder
no I thought you did
I was like come on I turned off the theme song that was still playing in the background even though
the levels are completely down imagine having a theme song that just doesn't abruptly cut off
no couldn't couldn't be me wouldn't want that oh apologies to everybody yesterday for the uh
upload issue that's pretty spooky will yeah i don't know honestly i don't know what happened there it seems kind of like supernatural it wasn't on us it was i mean honestly i uploaded the episode it cut off
the last six minutes i have no clue as to why i redid everything i did in the first place and
sure enough it worked i saw one person mentioning on twitter exactly one so i thought it was just
on him like he he had a lost connection or something you should have roasted him so i
just ignored it but uh turns out it was an actual problem that He had a lost connection or something. You should have roasted him. So I just ignored it.
But it turns out it was an actual problem.
That's not a problem I've ever experienced before.
Very interesting.
Weird.
It was a little spooky when I got back from lunch.
But it's fixed now.
That was spooky season this year was one of my favorite things I've ever heard out of
the WASH Media cartel.
Is that right?
Yeah.
Well, the reason we did it was because before we had Circling Back, we had another podcast.
I'm not sure if you're aware of.
It was very, very popular.
It was very, very popular.
Did you call us a cartel?
I don't hate that.
I thought yesterday's episode, Dave,
was the spookiest.
People were saying that next season might be even spookier.
What are we doing next?
Next season? No, I mean mean next week there's a replacement
right worst of worst of go to patreon.com circling back podcast we'll be reading stories from
people like you um we're starting off with the worst weekends to be honest we have a lot of
these stories if you want to send your own send it to worstof at washmedia.com.
But if you have any other stories
and you have got
a little extra time
at the office,
sit down and knock it out.
Got the worst of
the night before Thanksgiving,
Thanksgiving,
office holiday parties,
holiday travel,
Christmas,
and New Year's Eve.
I'm really into
the night before
Thanksgiving stories
that we've been getting,
which is somehow
the most popular,
which makes sense.
Because that's the most electric night.
I wish that the one bad thing about, you know, entering your 30s is that it just doesn't become acceptable to go out with the squad the night before.
Dude, half your squad doesn't go home for Thanksgiving.
They're going to where their wife or like, I don't know, somewhere else.
There's many places they can go.
But very few people just go back to their hometown anymore.
I'm going,
I made a game time decision.
Hell yeah.
Got that flight on point.
Going solo.
No,
dude,
I actually thinking about bringing Rosie up,
thinking about bringing Rosie up.
We'll see.
Hey,
uh,
there's a lot of rumors out there that I'm actually hosting a competing pod.
Um,
it's called worst of,
and it's just me smoking bratwurst.
But that's not true.
I will not be smoking bratwurst
on a Worst Of.
Correct. That's a great idea
but I won't be doing that.
Is there a chance you go live on IG smoking
worst?
If there's an audience for that, I will do it.
Fuck yeah.
Wow.
Dave's all about content.
If Brett at WashMedia.com gets 100 emails saying,
smoke these meats, then I will do it.
You just ruined his inbox.
Come on, David.
Yeah, this is mean.
It's the second day in a row.
Yeah.
And the more emails he gets,
the more he's going to have to sift through these to you know close deals yeah what if like a big ad deal
slips by hazing gets lost in the shuffle now he's the new guy right yeah red you want me to change
your your email to something secret just put it kind of like the first you want a secret email
that you can send from and only receive it the other one change it to brent at watch me
you know the cockiest email is just the first letter of your first... Yeah, B.
Do not...
Please...
Okay.
How about this?
I will smoke some meats
on Instagram Live
if you do not email
brett at washmedia.com.
Fuck yeah.
And if he gets even one,
if he gets even one,
I won't do it.
I'll believe it when I see it.
It's like the...
If this gets a thousand retweets,
like on the nose,
I'll do this.
And people are just
fighting that battle.
I like the ones where people say if this does this, I'll quit or I'll retire, delete my Twitter.
They won't.
And they won't.
Revelle did one recently.
He said it was the last tournament that Romo played in, golf tournament.
He says if Romo does something, I will delete my Twitter.
That would be a huge blow to him.
Why would you make that guarantee?
Didn't you lose a bet, Dylan, like that?
Where you have to bleach?
No.
Wow.
Okay.
No.
Well, you just...
No, he had to delete his butthole.
No.
Imagine being like...
Imagine like finding our podcast on like the iTunes charts and being like, man, these guys
are really great.
I really like them.
I'm going to subscribe to their podcast. And then we start talking about like oh yeah we've got
this reddit community and then like this nice girl who discovered us through the bachelorette
decides to go to the reddit community and she sees 60 posts about how you're not bleaching your
asshole okay a couple points well a point and then an announcement point one the first point
well the only point is that uh we can delete that we can moderate that shit. I'm not, no, I'm not, I'm not moderating that because the person who moderates that is going
to be become the enemy of the subreddit.
Here's my announcement.
I am never going to do it.
Never.
Why wouldn't you do that?
You're going to have to keep stuff for the rest of your life.
Don't you?
Or you just quit.
Or you could just quit.
I don't know who posts that on Reddit every day, but like that dude's entire online Reddit
persona at this point
is just dedicated to you bleaching an unsavory part of your butt.
That bet has nothing to do with circling back.
What's the savory part of the butt?
I don't know.
It has nothing to do with even touching base.
It was a backdoor cover bet between me and a guy who's not even on this podcast.
Uncover that backdoor, Playboy.
We are privy to that agreement now.
This is so stupid.
Dave doesn't wear the freaking Arby's shirt,
and he gets off scot-free.
No, I promise you.
I promise you that the next time we go to Ponte Vedra Beach,
Dave will wear that shirt to O'Malley's or whatever we went to.
Yeah, I'm sure he will.
Because Dave's on little hands.
He doesn't even have that shirt anymore.
It's gone.
Yes, I do.
No, it's not.
It's not gone.
I swear.
You still have it.
I can confirm Dave still has it.
You have the double X Arby's shirt still? I swear. I can confirm Dave still has it. You have the double X RV shirt still?
I posted a story with it a couple months ago.
I kind of wish I would have worn that for Halloween and been Dave, Pontevedra Dave.
Wear it on November 23rd to Eisenhower's.
You won't.
I'll do that when you go bleach.
If I go bleach, you will wear the shirt to Eisenhower's.
When is our thing?
November 23rd?
November 23rd.
Ooh, weather permitting because i don't want to wear it if it's like
i have to wear like a vest over that's true that'd be a waste you know me i wear vests over
polos all the time is it safe to say that like we wouldn't we wouldn't do content around you
actually doing it if you did it because i wouldn't want that to be online for you no yeah so like
people are gonna have to trust us when we say that
A lot of ladies out there have it done
They don't post pictures of it online Dave
Some of them do
To be fair
They get paid to do freaky shit on camera
That's why
Anyway
God
Nothing turns Dylan's mood like talking about bleaching his butt.
Because it's dumb that it's gone this far.
It was not even on this podcast.
The bet.
And it was like four years ago.
Ross assigned the agreement to us.
No, he didn't.
We are now the party.
He gave us the rights.
I will.
It was four years ago.
We'll get the rights from him.
I lost the email.
It's in my spam folder somewhere.
Sheesh.
Sheesh. I'm the only person in here. my spam folder somewhere. Sheesh. Sheesh.
I'm the only person in here.
Have I welched on a bet yet?
I don't know.
Makes you think.
Makes you think.
But it's funny that my bets,
my bet welching is tied to an Arby's polo.
Which is an easy one to pay off.
Like, just do it.
Do what?
I can say the same thing for you.
And it was between guys in this room.
Yours, no one, you don't have, no one's going to see the fruits of your bet.
So why do people even care?
It's just the fact of the matter.
It's just because it's so you.
Oh, God.
Yeah, so whoever's running that account
that posts that on Reddit every day.
Oh, he's going to double down now.
You're going to have to keep it up the rest of your life, buddy.
I don't think that's going to be problem i hope you're ready now i i think he actually
enjoys it and based on the upvotes and comments that it gets like it's a high performing post
for how are people not tired he's just stacking clout on reddit good for that guy that is
undeserved clout all off of your butthole no he dude he found what works and does it it's
essentially a series that he does for content
and he just does it every single day. We should probably
pay the guy. Yeah. We should give him a podcast.
It's called
Okay.
Oh, boy.
What's going on today?
Do you want to show Dylan?
I don't know how we got here. Hold on. In closing,
before we get started today today just make sure to email
worstof at washmedia.com
with any stories you have
we'd love to hear them
we've gotten some great
responses so far
and I'm looking forward
to everything else
that people send
yeah would you like
to intro me?
I'm pretty sure
everyone knows who you are
you're a man who needs
no introduction
you've already made a point
but I still would like one
you've already made one point
and one announcement on this
so I think everyone knows who you are.
Hey, before you do that, Will, can I ask Brett a question?
Yeah.
Hey, Brett.
Hey, Dave.
Are you finding it difficult to dress appropriately in this Texas November?
I'm wearing boots, black pants, and a t-shirt.
So yeah, I have no fucking clue what I'm doing.
Yesterday morning, it was relatively cool.
Not cold, but a little bit cool.
And then yesterday, it was so humid and the sun was peeking from behind the clouds.
It felt like it was like 95 degrees at times.
Well, I asked Alexa this morning, like, hey, Alexa, what's the temperature outside right now?
She's like 73.
I walk outside, think it's going to be fine.
It was 100% not 73.
It was humid, too.
We've had some cold-ass mornings. Oh, you thought it was cool? Oh, it was really cool this fine. It was 100% not 73. It was humid, too. We've had some cold-ass mornings.
Oh, you thought it was cool?
Oh, it was really cool this morning.
It was dummy thick out there.
I disagree.
I thought it was hot this morning.
Well, maybe you weren't up as early as me.
It's just the thickness, dude.
The good news is, folks.
Are you down with the thickness?
Sure am.
We have another front coming through.
I have 55 on Friday.
Can't get it here soon enough.
See, that's what I like.
I'm taking this daylight savings and just not even adjusting my schedule.
Damn, that's bad boy shit. Yeah, I have an extra hour every day that you bitches don't
today and yesterday i could have worn shorts i just i don't want to be shorts guy in november
i know it's weird i thought about wearing shorts to f1 on sunday and i would not have been cold
had i done so but like no one else was wearing shorts out there there were girls in like puffy
jackets and it was like 70 that's fucking stupid yeah they were they i'll be honest they did look like they were from south
america so maybe maybe 70 to them is cold that's a great point will's just looking for compliments
on his new sneakers dude these sneakers go how many pairs have you done this year one this is
your one only one man i decided that i was going to take a step back from the sneaker game,
and now that my Ultra Boosts are disgusting,
I was like, you know what?
I'm going to cop some new ones.
So now I'm a Nike React boy.
Go off, King.
Thank you.
Hey, can I do a low-level Steam that doesn't actually require Steam,
mainly because we don't have the sound effect currently?
I can do it.
Hold on.
No, we don't need that. Shh.
What?
What?
What? Get over here, Dave.
Alright.
Now there it is.
You know, you could just play it through the
USB. It doesn't matter.
My USB doesn't work.
Shots to Apple.
Oh, that was gross sounding.
What did you think that was going to do?
I thought that was going to do like an immediate steam stream.
You thought that the sink was going to just start steaming.
Brett just put his mic up to the faucet next to him.
That's not what a steam room sounds like.
Yeah, but some things sound like...
That sounds like a bathtub.
It's in the tub.
We'll try again tomorrow.
This is a tub, girl.
Brett's having a tough
week we're gonna give it to brett this week this week brett's getting roasted yeah hey see that
number four there once you turn that mic down will oh yeah should we ah should we prohibit me
out of the cut me out of the deal here that was an old mic a bit we we did um
i'm getting too many text messages from restaurants and places that I frequent
that I have put my number, I give them my number for the rewards program.
And now I get like three a day.
Dude.
About like, hey, it's been a while.
Why don't you come back in?
We'll give you 10% off this $9 smoothie.
Dave, this is a larger issue that is now becoming
like another issue for you. Your, your larger issue is that you're too free with your phone
number. Yeah, I know. Look, I want to be a rewards member. I want people to, I want people to be able
to hook me up with deals and stuff. And when they, when they asked me if I want to join, like if I go
to a home Depot and they're like, oh, are you a Depot dog
or whatever the rewards program is?
I'm like, no, I'm not.
But can you sign up?
I'm like, yeah.
It's going to be awkward if I don't.
I've never answered yes to that question.
Dave will get it.
We'll be at like Woodrow's or something
and Dave will get like a text message to his phone
from a number that he's never seen before.
He's like, oh, I think this is a dude
I met at a meetup in like 2016.
I'm like, dude, how?
That happened like one time.
You just give out your number.
There's been a number of dudes who I've contemplated playing golf with.
And it's just never...
I did meet one of them for a beer once.
But it's never actually happened.
But that's neither here nor there.
We're talking about rewards programs.
I'm getting too many texts. And damn it, I'm pissed off about it.
Hit the steam.
Do you have the large text in your text messages?
Why would you ask me that question?
I have great eyesight, first of all.
I've never worn corrective lenses.
Minus one thing.
Well, I can't see color.
Well, I can see color.
I'm just colorblind.
Yeah.
Do you dream in color?
Hey, I have a question.
That tweet that's going around, have y'all seen it about the colorblind with the dots?
Nope.
Nope.
Oh, really?
No, I'm not really deep into colorblind Twitter.
I'm not either, but someone put it on the TL and a couple of people tagged me in it.
And it's a, you know, the colorblind test
that has all the colored dots.
Yeah, they did it at a movie theater.
I was with you at the movie theater.
I looked over.
I was like,
you have no clue what's going on right now, do you?
Anyway, the reason I'm asking
is I want to know
if it actually says something
because to me it's just dots.
I don't know if it's a prank,
a Twitter prank or not.
I love Twitter pranks.
I need to know.
I don't think it's a prank.
Let me, I'll find it. Oh, here it is. I don't think it's a prank.
I'll find it.
Oh, here it is.
This is really good for the people listening. Does that say anything?
Yes, it does.
It says Epstein didn't kill himself.
Serious?
Yes.
That's crazy.
I see just dots.
That's interesting that you don't think that Epstein killed himself.
No, I do.
Dude, how about that autopsy?
What? Okay, there's, how about that autopsy? What?
Okay, there's some issues with the autopsy.
It was paid for by his brother, who has a large stake in the Epstein estate.
And obviously, he's going to get a different amount had Epstein been murdered than had he offed himself.
That being said, Epstein definitely killed himself.
Or did not kill himself, I'm sorry.
Well, I just added myself.
Yeah, you're an Epstein truther, aren't you? Will you go on record right just out of myself yeah you're an epstein truther are you will you go on record right now whether on whether or not you're an
epstein truther what is an epstein truther believe that like i believe the the the mainstream the
lamestreams story it hard to say i haven't even i have a way more twisted theory. Is it so fucking twisted?
Because I believe, based on the facts,
I believe that Epstein was an intelligence asset,
either for our intelligence agency or foreign governments.
Okay.
I believe he was allowed to kill himself.
I don't think he was murdered.
I think he was allowed, because I think he was,
for all intents and purposes, a spy. And I think he was murdered. I think he was allowed because I think he was, for all intents and purposes,
a spy.
And I think his mission ended
and he offed himself.
Thank you.
That's Conspiracy Corner with Dave.
Huh.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Makes you think.
No, we're not steaming anyone.
Just look into it.
Look at the details okay you
guys mind if i steam real quick yeah on the heels of that conversation hold on hold on
all right uh my debit card was compromised ha
welcome to texas man welcome to punked what the fuck didn Punk'd. What the fuck? Ashton, come out. What the fuck, man? Dude, what happened?
I got a fraud alert.
It was for somebody spent one cent at a landscaping company.
I was like, that's weird.
Did it come through as a fraud alert?
No, just a text.
But then I called and they said.
Yeah, I understand.
Yeah, we understood.
Okay.
Hey, did you spend $140 at Foot Locker in Long Island today?
Maybe.
Did you?
Ooh.
They get some fly wires.
I don't know what they got, Dave, but I'm really fucking pissed off.
And then...
Did you fly to New York yesterday for your haircut and come back?
No, I'm still thinking of doing it.
Get some haircut and some boost and come back.
That'd be a good way to get some free stuff from Foot Locker in Long Island.
I have to do it by...
No, you don't live in Texas.
November 24th, or else it's compromised.
So they told you it was Foot Locker?
Yeah.
Sometimes when that happens, I'll get a letter from the bank saying that they have to send me a new card.
And they won't tell you what retailer had.
It wasn't that my card got compromised, but they had a bunch that were compromised.
So just everybody who went there that day, they just like have to
send them a new card
and they won't tell you
where it happened at
to protect the retailer,
which kind of pisses me off.
Mine was compromised recently
and they spent $80
at a gas station.
Yeah, I had $105 at Applebee's
and $140 at Foot Locker.
That's a dope day.
Yeah, kind of a sick day
and one cent
at a landscaping company.
That was just to test whether or not that was to test whether or not your card is there can you
even uh swipe a card for one cent yes really any company specific i'm talking mainly about gas
stations right now that says they cannot do any charges under five dollars they are legally not
allowed to do that if like if you report them for doing that then it only takes x amount of
complaints about that company before like visa or mastercard will completely pull it
from that company no shit yeah so like i might write myself a letter you can just do that yeah
you can do the meme of the dude with the phone like calling in that can be you just being like
i'm calling mastercard right now letting them know the chick with the wra like calling in that can be you just being like i'm calling master right now
letting them know the chick with the wraparound shades who's calling the on the on the on the
cookout what was her name cookout betty or i don't know because little girl didn't have a permit
yeah what she was just selling like lemonade or shit well yeah that was a different yeah i know
i know what you're talking about there's been many different there's i know what you're talking about
that lady was just racist yeah no i was really uh i had i thought i was hung over but i actually
had it turned out i had swine flu but i went to the gas station it's this gas station in ann arbor
and i bought some gatorade to replenish those electrolytes and the guy was like no i can't do
that and i was so like dead that i finally i pulled the card and i was like
i'm just gonna call and report you and he was like okay we'll swipe it really yeah i wasn't it wasn't
like an alpha move by me but i was so dead that i wasn't gonna walk to an atm and get money out
so i was just like dude i know you can't do this like just fucking swipe the card that's bad boy
shit well well dude that's kind of an alpha dude that kind of an alpha moment. I think if you would have seen me at the time,
it was not very alpha feeling.
I was pretty dead.
I was pretty serious.
I lost like 15 pounds.
I just found a photo of that.
Why is she wearing Oakley blades?
Why does she look like she's about to go to the softball field
and just hit dingers?
Dude, I want to do that so bad.
Dude, she runs her rec softball league.
She just pounds it.
Speaking of dudes that pound,
do you want to talk about this beef dude on Twitter?
700 pounds.
I thought he was a puncher.
It's true.
I don't know where I saw this tweet.
I retweeted it from at Circling Back Pod,
which you can go hit a follow.
We hit 8,000 followers yesterday,
which is pretty cool for the squad.
But this dude at Vickers underscore Stephen,
AKA dangerously beefy.
His name's gotta be Stephen, right?
Not Vickers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He said, my housing is paid for.
I make a good salary.
I get health insurance, 401k, 700 pounds of beef a year,
and I live on a couple hundred acres.
I'm a puncher by trade with a bachelor's degree,
and I swear you women would rather have a loser than a provider.
It's sad.
Our man is doing numbies.
My housing is paid for.
I make a good salary.
Why is he flexing a bachelor's degree?
No one flexes a 401k.
Let's be clear.
It's pretty standard.
Not to sound privileged here,
but I think most people who have jobs have 401ks.
A lot of people have 401ks.
I could be wrong about that.
If I am, I'm sorry.
Health insurance is something that's kind of required by law.
It'd be a real shame if we had both.
You're talking about us.
Yeah, we need to up our game.
We're working on it.
We're working on it.
Calm the fuck down.
We started small.
Dude, I cannot believe what you just did there.
We were going to offer you 700 pounds of beef as part of your compensation package.
Yeah, and that's officially off the table.
I think we'll revisit that now, Brett.
Okay.
Next thing you know, he's going to want to be a salaried employee and not just an hour.
Here's a question for you, Brett.
Would you rather have 401k and health insurance or 700 pounds of beef?
A year.
A year.
Do the math.
Annually.
That's two pounds of beef per year or per day.
401k.
Per day, you mean.
Dave said we match 10%.
That's tight.
No, no.
We match 10% of the beef that we give our employees.
I'll take the beef. Yeah. Smart man. That's so. No, no. We match 10% of the beef that we give our employees. I'll take the beef.
Yeah, smart man.
That's so much beef.
Like, that's so much.
But what if it's all choice?
I'll admit, hand up, I don't know the difference between cuts and beef.
I'm not.
Brett, Brett, Brett, you silly bitch.
You stupid dumbass.
I just don't.
Man, I don't.
I'm sorry
It's okay
I was hoping for like an explanation maybe
But okay I'll stay in the dark over here
You need to tweet it dangerously beefy
And find out
He could probably tell you better than I could
This guy really started doubling down on this beef stuff
On his timeline ever since November 2nd
When he did it
And none of his other tweets about the beef
are doing any numbers at all.
Yeah, I mean, he's leaning into the beef bit.
He's also...
You guys will be shocked to learn
where he is located.
You guys are familiar with College Station?
Yeah, makes sense.
Shout out Peyton, intern Peyton.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, so he's just a good old boy i mean to he's a puncher by trade
that's the thing yeah i don't know what that means um maybe he engages in fisticuffs but he's got a
bachelor's degree i feel like puncher by trade means something that like is like more country
than we can understand right now like we've never heard of this professional level of he got it says he
got his degree in animal science which is cool it's the thing about animal science is that it's
the science about animals yeah that's a popular one on fire popular one at a&m it's cool i've
been thinking about going back and getting a master's in animal science the dude's talking
about you know women and like the kind of men that they're into, I guess, and he's building himself up, right?
This is kind of what you do off the record.
No, no, no.
But just to throw in the 700 pounds of beef as if that would be a reason
why women would be attracted or should be attracted to him,
it's not something that women look for, I don't think.
I started dating this new guy.
His name is Vickersickers and everything's going great
he has 700 pounds of beef a year
it's a perfect situation for him
if he's a friend
that's a different case
if he's looking for friends
and he's like
hey I got 700 pounds of beef a year
I'm like oh okay
two months in
she's like
she's like man
this is going alright
but we eat beef every fucking night
I can't eat one more steak
yeah his wife is going to have
the most clogged arteries
of any wife ever.
Beef enchiladas on Monday, beef stew on Tuesday, steaks on Wednesday.
I'm trying to mix in a salad.
Beef tamales on Thursday.
She's like a teacher in Bernie, and every single day she shows up to work with a tomahawk,
and it's just like, hey, this won't fit in the fucking microwave in the teacher's lounge.
What am I supposed to do?
Hey, who heated up the tomahawk?
Who heated up the porterhouse in the break room?
Who heated up the 24-ounce tomahawk?
It's really smelling the place up.
So it's 700 pounds of beef.
This would be more dope if it was elk,
like something he went out and just hunted with a bow.
This is just beef.
This is cattle.
Is this dude slaughtered cattle? You've got there's there's a cattle element there sure i mean he lives on
several hundred acres so he just eats his own beef yeah probably sell some eat some i don't know
just slinging beef the guy's got a lot of it though dylan you were saying before that we did
this podcast that you wanted to have this guy on in person.
I didn't say that.
No.
Sure?
Yeah.
I think that was you, actually.
It was in College Station.
I think you said that.
No, I didn't.
We could have him on.
It's dangerously beefy.
I'm trying to think of the equivalent of a shitty fact about myself
that I could replace in this tweet that's just 700 pounds of beef a year,
and I just don't have one.
I just get packages
from our sponsors sporadically.
I've gone to the
Dillon well too many times on this pod and I can't even
say what I want to say. Say it, bitch.
I was going to say that you were always saying
that you're a muncher by trade
with a bachelor's degree.
What is wrong with you that's what you
always say i told you i've gone to the well too many times we can we can get you out of the perv
chair i think just i need to start being in the roadcaster chair god 401k i wonder how diverse it
is hard to say he seems like a conservative guy yeah like he's thinking long time he's a bonds guy he's like
he has land bonds municipal bonds he has the most i mean i he has the most texas a&m avatar of all
time i swear to you women his shirt is aggie gingham he's got the ring on he's got like
aviator shades and i don't even know the style of cowboy hat or what you would call that but the one
that it flips up on the sides like super aggressively i mean this guy would hate me if he met me at matt's all rancho
one night well i think what you meant to say was aggie uh gong hum he's doing the aggie gong hum
style oh i don't even know i talked to jay bone last night night. Of course. Of course.
We need to get J-Bone in here.
This guy's got a... I just picture him eating every meal at home.
Just steak after steak.
Burgers.
Beef stew.
Beef stroganoff.
He's like, why would we go out to dinner?
We got all this beef here to eat.
You know?
Let's just stay in.
Beef tacos.
Did you say beef stroganoff?
Mm-hmm.
There's many different types of beef dishes stroganoff just such a weird word is there beef in king ranch no really chicken
it's chicken oh it is the car no it's king ranch cast you'll learn king ranch casserole is a thing
that they eat down here that you and i had no idea about before coming down here oh it's delish
if you have it made right it's good's good. I've had some meh.
Mainly catered.
How tight would it be, though, if it was beef, though?
Could you do it with beef?
I feel like all those ingredients would still work.
I don't think it would taste bad.
You're still using cream of mushroom soup or whatever.
Yeah, maybe you got i don't know
you got a pivot there use something else what are you what are you thinking i smell you someone made
a cream of the other thing joke recently it's probably you since you're the perv of the group
what is it cream of some young guy jesus you said the joke last time. Okay. Now he's trying to make this about me. Okay. This is classic Dylan.
You're right.
I throw you under the bus so much
to make up these stories about you
that aren't true.
If that happened,
it was probably on the Patreon.
And you just revealed
exclusive optimized tier content.
Now they know what they're missing.
Well.
Dave makes pervy jokes over there too.
I'm not even in the perv chair.
I don't even make the pervious jokes.
It is the perv chair.
But I mean on spooky season.
That's true.
Have you ever dated someone that didn't have 700 pounds of beef?
Yeah.
I'll tell you what, I never will again.
Why would you?
You can ask someone that does have 700 pounds of beef a year.
Is this dude into TikTok?
This dude definitely
thinks that the girl who like the gun girl like he thinks she's hilarious oh god caitlin something
yeah whatever she's still around oh yeah i don't know she's had her twitter everything she does
is such bullshit and i like politics aside it's just how she goes about getting her content
all she does is try to
rug people the wrong way
wait for it to over
it works though
I know it's so bad
it's so bad
she's one of the more
hateable people
in this country
is she self aware
I've wondered this
I think she is
I do too
I think she is
she knows what she's doing
and she's doing a good job
of it
it's just everyone
she just accepted
like yeah I can make money
on this but everyone's
gonna hate me
I'll say this about her.
She's country from her cowboy boots to her down-home roots.
Okay.
Will has entered the group chat.
Mm-hmm.
I have nothing else on this, man.
We got about 700 pounds worth of content on this guy.
Is it time?
Yeah.
New sponsor.
New sponsor alert.
New sponsor alert.
Howdy, folks.
We have a new sponsor.
That's sad.
The fair's over.
They had to take that big man down.
It's over?
That's what Dave just said.
Yeah.
When do they end it?
That's a great question.
It should be year round.
I agree.
Let's talk about our friends
over at Hawthorne.
This is a new sponsor.
I mean, I'm a huge fan.
Oh, dude, new sponsor alert.
Yeah, that's what we were doing there.
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Dave, why are people getting stabbed?
There's many reasons, Will.
I think you might be referring to the chicken sandwich craze
we've had our first fatality
straight fatality? I didn't think it was that funny
why are you laughing Dylan?
it was pretty funny
do you want me to read this news story?
yeah
a man was stabbed to death Monday at a Maryland Popeyes
after he apparently cut a line for the restaurant's
re-released chicken sandwich and argued with another man who confronted him.
Kevin Tyrell Davis, 28, was stabbed outside of the restaurant in Oxon Hill around 7 p.m.
I mean, that's fucked up.
Yeah, I'm not saying it's an offense worthy of the death penalty, but cutting in line
is definitely very, very sorry to do.
Cutting is an all-time shitty move.
I don't think it warrants the death penalty.
No, I just don't think so.
We also have employees just quitting mid-shift.
I saw an old man fight on my Twitter
in the Popeye's drive-thru.
Did you see that?
You hate to see that.
Old man fights are some of the you hate to see that old man fights
are some of them it's some of the harder content old men fights even though they can't cause any
harm no it looks like they don't even land the punches it's just like the the falling over the
falling over trying to avoid the slow motion like i can't i can't keep my balance yeah i don't think
this dude landed a single punch all old men do when they fight is like grab a piece of their
clothing and just tussle it it It's like a bad hockey fight.
It's a bad hockey fight.
Speaking of, sorry about the Avs, Colorado.
Anyway, Stars taking on two out of them.
Two out of games.
Two games from them.
I don't know what I'm trying to say.
Are you an Avs fan?
No, that's Klein.
That's a Sabres boy.
But do you have any Avs allegiance at all?
No.
I thought you did a little bit.
Why?
Because you're a Broncos fan.
It just kind of all comes together.
Yeah, no.
I'm just a Broncos fan.
Okay.
I mean, I liked when the abs were really good,
when they were beating the piss out of the Red Wings
in the early 2000s.
Yeah, okay.
They were fun to watch, Joe Sacchi.
So you're kind of a frontrunner?
No.
I wouldn't say I am at all, to be honest with you.
Okay.
I don't know where that's going.
Any ass fan that looks back on that team from the 90s
and thinks that they were somehow more upstanding
than the Detroit Red Wings?
It's just sad that people actually think that they were...
Dude, fuck Claude Lemieux.
I'm sorry Ray Bork just ran circles around,
skated circles around Chris Chelios, man.
I mean, okay. Chelios, man.
I mean, okay.
Chelios also played until he was like 50.
He did.
I don't know where you're going with that, but... I don't know where we're going with anything.
I just, I don't know.
You don't need to take it easy at Popeyes, okay?
It's a good sandwich.
I wouldn't fight over that sandwich.
Oh, yeah, you're the one who's out on the sandwich.
Would you kill someone over it?
Have you had Chick-fil-A? Oh, you had it at my place.
Oh yeah. Do they have Chick-fil-A
in New York City? They do
as of like two years ago.
When the first one opened up, it was a big deal.
Okay. Oh. I never really
went though. I'm not a fast casual guy.
I do like Panera though. You guys trash Panera.
Shut the fuck up. Panera is absolute piss.
You're trying to ruffle feathers right now. I'm not trying to ruffle feathers, dude. You don't like Panera, though. You guys trash Panera. Shut the fuck up. Because Panera is absolute piss. You're trying to ruffle feathers right now.
I'm not trying to ruffle feathers, dude.
You don't like Panera, bro.
Are you a hot take guy?
That's a huge red flag if you do.
We don't need hot take guys.
Why do we hire hot take guys?
Oh, my God.
Brett, that place is dog shit.
I miss Dan's hot takes.
I don't think they're hot takes.
I just...
I'm not trying to hot take.
I just like what I like.
It's just crap quality food.
What do you get from Panera?
The smoked chipotle chicken sandwich.
I'm sure it's really good.
You get like one little sliver of chicken in there.
That's it.
Yeah, they're serving size friendly meals.
No, get out of here, dog.
Man, you get out of here.
I want to go to Whataburger today.
Wow, is there already animosity with this new guy?
Yeah.
Man, it's crazy.
To be fair,
Dylan eats cube turkey for dinner,
so you can't really put too much stock in him ripping on you
for your Chipotle sandwich thing,
but at the same time,
you enjoying Panera
is pretty much the exact same thing
as eating cube turkey for dinner.
I'll pull the curtain back on that.
Dylan enjoyed cube turkey
because we bailed on him
to go to dinner that night,
so sorry, Dylan.
Yeah, thank you, Brett,
for defending me a little bit
just an all-time bad knee-jerk dinner reaction i didn't feel great about it that's why when y'all
asked me what i had for dinner i was very slow to actually deliver but i was honest transparency
what we're all about here oh man just saying yeah well just saying would you get in a fight at like a
like a bar fight over somebody cutting you in a like drink line no i'm not a fighter i would say
something but i would not let it escalate last time i i had gotten an altercation or a verbal
altercation with someone who cut it was at acl and it was in the bathroom lines and it wasn't even my line it was actually me and ross
it was more ross than me we were your line was too small so it's like no i got we're in we're
in the front about to go and watch these two like ut like just out of their mind mollied out frat
dudes they just walked we watched them walk over and they got in front of this these like these
girls that were in the line next to us and just stood there and like ross was like dude are
you seriously just gonna walk to the front of the line like they look over like what like we're like
yeah the line starts way back there that's why all these people are lined up behind you and they
just kind of looked at us and they walked to the back of the line they didn't want that smoke dave
they did not i mean me and ross bowling everybody knows everybody knows. You must have hit arms that day or something.
Just looking big as hell.
Yeah, I brought the bands to ACL.
Okay.
I told you guys what I did when the guy cut Micah and I at that fish thing.
Yeah.
I just started talking shit about him right behind him.
And I was like, oh, yeah, I guess you can just walk wherever you want
and just stand right in front of us at this event where you can't see anything.
What song was it?
What?
Oh, it was Farmhouse.
That's why I really wanted to see it it's
good no i was just so like annoyed and i think that's my i think that's how i'm going to do it
from now on i think i'm just going to be loud talk shit about the person guy instead of just
confronting them directly super passive you know you know when that exactly you know when that
really happens a lot is it sporting events like the guy the group the people in front of you are
like standing up the whole time or doing something obnoxious
that's when you're like oh i guess uh we're not gonna be able to see the game good thing we paid
for these seats that's that's when that always happens that's an old man move and i respect it
yeah it's a little bit passive aggressive it's better like it's better than like actually
confronting them in my opinion just because like i don't want to this might actually cause more
hands to be thrown it would be hilarious if you had gotten in a fight
at a fish what do you even call that ceremony it was a fish breakdown day
yoshi was chopping that tuna up
i don't know cutting cutting is a cardinal sin you can't do it
sorry agree definitely not the place to do it is in line for that chicken sandwich.
No, dude, you got to keep your head on a swivel at Popeye's these days.
I was thinking if I want to get that chicken sandwich again,
I might be driving back to Bastrop
because that might be quicker than waiting in the lines in Austin.
That's not a good idea.
It's only like 30 minutes.
Yeah, round trip, it's an hour.
Just saying, dog.
Okay.
I might go for lunch today.
Bitch.
Take Brett.
No, Brett doesn't even like it.
I want Brett to try it one more time.
No, I'm not going to take Brett.
And not eat it in the back of my car.
I think you had a bad experience because you had to eat it in my car.
There's no way I would ever eat in your car.
I didn't want to.
If I was eating in your car, even if you said I could.
No, even if you said I could, I would feel uncomfortable
because I feel like it would kill you inside a little bit.
Dude, no, I don't care.
My backseat is covered with Randy's hair.
My car isn't the cleanest car, but at the same time,
it's actually pretty clean right now,
but at the same time, I'm not going to let people eat in it. i was hoping one of y'all two brett or dylan would leave like
some trash so you could so i could bring it up on the pod but you guys were you should have taken
your trash and then just put it in the back seat just frame them yeah oh we can't do that
dave dave got to uh dave got to just eat his in In Popeyes I slammed it in front of you
Slammed it
For half an hour
While we were
Del and I were just sitting there
Del was kind of hangry
So you know
Thumbs up our ass
No he did
When Brett
So I'll expose Brett
Expose him
Brett
When he came down here
For
The UT LSE weekend
He stayed at the Fairmont
I stayed at three different hotels that week.
One of them was the Fairmont.
I did.
And I went and grabbed Brett from it, and Brett had a Fairmont water bottle.
That water bottle was in my car for about a week after Brett.
Oh, wow.
First impressions last lifetime.
What a jerk, man.
It's okay.
I recycled it for you.
Thank you.
Yep.
Damn.
I'm not a big plastic water ball guy so so it was like
it's kind of messed up on like numerous levels punch yeah shit man you gotta use a refillable
container brett i still don't have one i need one i reached peak christmas is coming i'll get
you something i'll get you a now gene this is what i'll put like a fish sticker on it come on
keep an eye out hard to slay i reached uh don't reveal i reached peak shitty um moment in my car the other
day i noticed that so there's four cup holders there's two right here in the console and there's
two in the door panels in the front or one on each door panel and uh they were all occupied
and it was all my beverages like from the last week and it was
just i just like dude this is rock bottom i don't want your beverages make the passenger door i put
it over there because i didn't have anywhere else to put it dude sally does this like i will look
i'll be putting away uh i'll be like unloading the dishwasher and i'll look in our cupboard
and i'll be like where are all the like yetis and stuff like that and like you go to her car
and she's essentially running like a yeti. Yeah, I've got that problem.
It's actually pronounced cup board.
That's a callback. Thank you, Dave.
You never read The Indian and the Cup Board?
Shut up.
Actually, I probably didn't.
I watched the movie.
The thing about it was it was an Indian
in a cup board.
Must have been small.
He was a tiny feller.
What is going on right now?
I don't know.
Dylan called back to a story I told like a year ago.
Something fucking stupid?
Yeah.
That's so rude.
I'm getting bullied for pronouncing the word wrong.
Do you want to do this weekend in fun?
Sure.
I thought we were still talking about
cutting in line.
Cutting up tuna and stuff.
I will say,
Dylan laughed when it was announced
that the guy died.
Not funny at all.
Really sad.
I was laughing at what Dave said.
He said,
Oh, wait a minute.
Because he said,
Randy, pull the tape.
It's the first fatality.
And it's like,
it's just kind of funny
to word it that way.
Like the first of how many?
You were thinking of Mortal Kombat. Okay, like the sentence. It made everything immortal combat too i don't it's not funny that someone died someone's talking about it like in a general sense like oh man like
dude people are dying over this sandwich like there's humor in in talking about it i mean this
guy yeah it's never funny when someone dies all right don't pin this just on popeyes this anytime
there's like a rush like you see people die like
on whatever uh Black Friday it's like uh Walmart getting in this happens it's not just about the
chicken sandwich folks it's so embarrassing when people like stand in these long lines for this
stuff like remember when Shake Shack opened in Austin yes for a month the line was around the
corner that's crazy it would be an over an hour wait and
it's like you know you could just like go to another shake shack in like another city at
some point and not have to like waste your sunday afternoon to get a chicken sandwich shake shack's
fine it's it's i don't even say it's good but it's not worth waiting for they have a good chicken
sandwich when the first texas in and out opened which i believe was in frisco the line was i'm
not kidding miles miles long.
Embarrassing.
People, they filmed it.
In their car, they filmed the line, and it was over a mile.
That's embarrassing.
You know why?
Because it's all Californians who moved here, and they want a slice of home.
Oh, I don't think that's what it is.
I think it's just Texans who have never had it before.
They think it's good.
I'm so glad that In-N-Out's finally getting exposed for being pretty bad.
It's fine.
They make a good burger,
man. It's a fine burger. Make a good burger. But not great. In terms of fast food, it's mediocre
and then their fries are just all-time bad.
The fries suck. And if I can't have fries with
my burger at a fast food joint,
then why am I there? The fries suck.
I'll put the burger up there with all fast food
chains.
There it is.
I'm going to agree to disagree here. That's's fine dylan don't you love carl's jr you know i've never had a carl's jr burger ever you ever been on a road trip
no carl's jr's ever been a road trip spot for me my road trip spot and you're not i mean you're
gonna think i'm weird for saying this my road trip spot used to be arby's you really think i
want to think you're weird i could get a french dip and i could get some uh that's curly fries
brett's was panera oh the burgers at panera man brett and the boys are getting in the car going
to like wisconsin and they're thinking about panera when you take a bite of that first bite
of that sandwich and you just feel how hard the bread is it's like eating out of a spare
dude a bad ciabatta is might be the worst form of
bread somebody like just cutting your mouth up give me some like for weeks dry ass chicken breast
give me like some pesto and dump it in a spary top cider and that's panera and then you take
off the top to see how it's like made and all this everything is on like one side of the sandwich
i wouldn't i wouldn't eat there if i was hangry and it was the only place in town that was open
french onion soup see i would just be like nah i'm just not gonna do it
well i eat ice cubes or something can you acquire the video of the homie angry eating his cereal
yeah i bet i bet dallas has it saved on her phone it's like the most memeable thing i've ever seen
in my entire life it's phenomenal yeah you know what I'll text her right now. You need to get that video. Do you worry about him
becoming a meme
outside of our universe?
Like,
on a large scale?
As long as it's done
in good taste,
then I think it would be fun.
You know?
But we're pretty careful
about the content
we release of him.
What if he's like,
he becomes,
you know,
10 years old,
and he's like,
hey,
noticed I'm a meme.
Dad, why am I famous?
Why did you meme me?
He could be the next Yodo Kid.
He's been kind of quiet.
Makes you think that he's brewing something, doesn't it?
Dude, is Mason back in the lab?
He's in the lab cooking.
What if you get Mason and Matty B on one track?
Imagine.
Something tells me it's not gonna hit that hard when is maddie b gonna start swearing that's you know he's gone full bad boy
i don't know man you got to think when he's going through rush at uga
has his voice dropped yet remember when there was like a Bieber thing? They were like, he's going to be toast when his voice drops.
That turned out to be so false.
All right.
So she does have the video, but since she recorded it via Instagram,
it's in three different parts.
I don't think we need all.
I mean, you just need one.
Well, I'm saying we have options.
So it's three minutes of the homie eating.
Oh, it's stories.
Oh, it's stories.
Yeah.
Okay.
I can't wait for this. I can't wait for this.
I can't wait for it either.
The second I saw it, I was like,
am I allowed to try to acquire this video?
Because I really want to use it for something.
I've never seen him do that before, too.
He's just sitting there just eating.
You know where he gets it from.
This is 100% you.
I've seen this happen before.
Oh, that kid's just the best, man.
God.
I've even seen you eat like that with like your fork held.
Oh, like a toddler?
Yeah.
Oh, that's great.
Should we actually do this weekend of fun now?
Okay.
Speaking of the homie, I will be hanging out with him on Friday.
Hey, that's not true.
What am I talking about?
Friday, I have nothing.
I have nothing.
Wow, good for you, dude.
Nothing at all.
But I do have them Saturday and Sunday,
and I'm trying to get a ranch trip together.
I don't know if it's going to happen or not
because the sister and brother-in-law might have plans doing something else,
and usually we all go together.
So I don't know yet.
But we're going to do something, something cool.
Something ill?
I have to make some plan B plans.
Some plan Bs.
Oh, wow. Some B plans. So you're plans. Some plan B's. Oh, wow.
So you're having a big weekend, huh?
Oh, no, not like that, you perverts.
Anyway, I have nothing really for me, guys.
Dave?
Why are you tossing it to me?
Because you're next, bitch.
You're hoping that I have something?
I got no plans.
I got nothing.
I'm going to be resting.
Doesn't mean I won't get out, but I'm going to be resting.
Can we fucking golf?
Yes.
Sorry for the, I mean.
We can.
Thank you.
Oh, the videos, they came in.
I'll watch them.
We'll watch them after.
Okay.
Yeah, so I don't know.
I'm going to be hanging out.
Got to get Thursday night football.
I don't know. Isn't it Se be hanging out. Get Thursday night football. I don't know.
Isn't it Seahawks 49ers?
That's cool.
Saturday, got a Bama LSU.
That's going to be tight.
That's exciting.
Shout out to my buddy who sent me the clip of Coach O.
And it was just an isolation shot of him saying, we coming.
You've been workshopping a Coach O impression, haven't you?
Dylan's got a better Coach O i do better what coachell impersonation
oh dylan loves coachell can you actually do it no i can't oh i just do the the get on go on get
out of here you big old tiger big old tiger i can't do it yeah Yeah, that was really bad.
I know.
I'm sorry.
I'm going to start having you do impressions and tell you that they're really good so that
you do it in front of other people and then it just completely bombs.
That's amazing.
That's a long play, but I respect it.
Dylan does a really good Miley Cyrus.
Impressions and accents, I just can't get a grasp on them.
They sound right to me when I do it, but then if I do it in front of somebody else, they're like,
that didn't work. Do your best
Australian accent.
Good day, mate.
It's not bad.
It's not bad.
Put another shrimp on the barbie.
Say a sentence that's not
completely
writing off their culture.
Am I appropriating right now?
Yes.
We're just mocking.
Your Canadian was kind of dog shit too.
Yeah, I'm telling you, I'm an all-time bad at accent guy.
It's really weird.
You can't even.
You plug over there.
You fucking suck.
That's good.
Come on, dog.
That's good.
Wait, what was that?
That was Canadian, Dave.
They're your neighbors, though, man.
I met a Canadian backer at the F1 race qualifying,
and he had the most Canadian accent of all time, and I loved it.
Well, part of the great up north is he from.
You know, I didn't ask.
I regret not asking.
Probably Manitoba.
They're pretty good up there.
I hate Brent.
You've got to think he's from Toronto or something.
Oh, Toronto?
Been there.
It's a fun city, huh? Wow, so you're doing the regional dialects from Canada. You've got to think he's from Toronto or something. Oh, Toronto? Been there. It's a fun city, huh?
Wow, so you're doing the regional dialects from Canada.
You've got multiples.
This is good.
I can't do the French, but I can do pretty much everywhere else.
What do they call Toronto the Six?
That's what Drake calls it, right?
Anybody?
Yeah.
I don't know.
You're the Drake guy.
That's it.
Running through the Six with my something.
Where are we going with this, though?
Someone said Toronto.
That's all I have to add to the discussion.
Hey, Will, what are you doing for fun this weekend?
Bitch?
No, no, no.
We're not done.
Let's do more voices.
I don't have any impersonations.
You don't have nothing?
No, I have one.
People really like when Will and I did the Southie voice.
The Boston. What's that one?
Fucking Noma
Noma never got his due
All I do when I do that one is I just impersonate Jimmy Fallon
Doing this SNL skit of him doing it
I saw Fallon at Fenway Park.
God damn it.
I'm a little worried about this weekend,
if I'm being honest. Why? Weekend of will?
So I'm going to... I leave
earlier than you guys do for Cabo.
And so we've got Cabo next weekend for
Lily's wedding.
I have a very
specific trend of before I leave town and have a short week where
i accidentally go way too hard the weekend before how did you just say accidentally your travel
nerves said it weird i don't know are you gonna hang out with brett this weekend see that's the
concert like i i do this all the time i did it before uh remember when i went to mexico this
spring which time will i only went to mexico once i only went to me remember when i went to mexico this spring which time will i only went
to mexico once i only went to mexico once i went to the spring and like the weekend before i just
went super hard for no reason i think i was just excited i was like oh i don't really have that
much to do that's a real thing like it you're you're hyped up for the trip and you kind of got
some nerves and so you just drink you just drink yourself into a stupor yeah and then like in the
back of my head i'm like well i only got to work two days this week.
But I never think to myself,
oh, I have to fit more days than that into the two days.
Yeah.
And so it's just like, it's always a recipe for disaster.
So I'm going to try to avoid that this weekend.
And by avoiding that, it means I'm going to not be around Brett.
And so we'll see.
He's the wash media enabler.
You got to respond to his text when he throws it out there
I know that's the thing
You can't resist him
What if he wants to get pints with the lad
He shampooed his hair this week
He's ready to go
So we'll see
So right now I currently have nothing on the docket
Besides maybe get some things ready
Your boy's gonna hit the Patagonia store
You buying that coat?
For the Cabo trip?
Yeah, I got to get some.
I left all my swimsuits at a bachelor party, so I have no swimsuits.
And so I need to go buy some new Patagonia baggies.
Hopefully they have the five inch there.
I'm a little worried about it.
Then I'm going to have to express ship some from like Moose Jaw or something.
I can't go five.
And then I'm also going to get a new winter jacket.
Because we're going to Colorado a new winter jacket. Bitch.
Because we're going to Colorado together, as the squad knows.
And I also need one for when I go to England and Scotland.
So I'm like, yeah, I'm going to get a dope-ass jacket.
I can't wait for you to see my ski jacket.
It's such a gaper jacket.
You don't have a Texas Longhorn starter jacket, do you?
No, it's... Oh, please do.
It's a really nice, nice like North Face skiing jacket.
It's badass.
Is it cinched at the waist and the flare is out at the bottom?
First of all, it's too big for me.
I got it when I was a little heavier.
So it's an XL.
So it's big.
And it's just so...
How heavy were you?
I got up to like 210, but it was not good weight.
Like I had a fat face and...
You looked like shit.
I was thick. I've seen fat face. You looked like shit.
I was thick.
Was that the avocado, Dylan?
No, this was like 2004-ish, Dylan.
I was fat. I wasn't fat.
I was just not in... I didn't work out.
I was sloppy.
You're going to make fun of it.
I'm excited for it.
Good. Are you wearing jeans too? That's what you said, right? I'm excited for it. Good. Yeah. Good.
Are you wearing jeans, too?
That's what you said, right?
I want to wear jeans.
Yeah, don't you have lined jeans?
I have some nice spider ski pants.
They're tight, but they're old.
I've had them forever.
Okay.
It's actually a bib.
It's a what?
Oh, it's the...
A bib, the kind with the shoulder straps.
Yeah, yeah.
They're tight.
You call it a bib?
That's what you...
Overalls?
We call them bibs.
Bibs is fine.
Yeah. You're good. Okay. You're good. I them bibs. Bibs is fine. Yeah.
You're good.
Okay.
You're good.
I've never even gone skiing before.
Dumbass.
Bitch, I've gone more.
I've skied more days than you fucking been on the ranch.
Oh!
Come on, dog.
Dude, wait till you see, man.
You're coming at me right now.
I'm going off pissed.
All right, dog.
We'll see.
I'm pissed.
You don't even know what that means.
I don't know what that means.
I don't know what that means.
That's terrifying. I'm so... I wish I could even be involved in what that means. I don't know what that means. I don't know what that means. That's terrifying.
I'm so...
I wish I could even be involved in this fight, but I can't.
Your fall line's so trash.
Bitch.
Can't wait.
Dude, I think...
I think my debit card just got compromised.
Hell yeah.
Join the club, Will.
58-38.
Mine did about a month ago.
Son of a bitch.
Are you serious?
Did they do it in a footlocker? I don't know. I don't know if ago. Son of a bitch. Are you serious? Did they go to Foot Locker?
I don't know.
I don't know about Foot Locker.
Sorry, I just got an alert to my phone from Chase,
and I'm like, I never get those unless something bad's happening.
So whole squad getting compromised this weekend.
Hey, out there, check your debit card statements.
There's compromises going on.
I might go compro.
No.
Do we know what Brett's doing this week?
Does he get kind of the...
Do you get that?
Like, we know.
We get it.
You're going to drink heavily.
Cool.
I mean, I'm actually pretty excited for this weekend.
We have a cold front coming through Friday.
Big shouts to that cold front, because it's been, like, annoyingly hot the last couple
of days.
And then I have some friends in town.
Really?
Not, like, friends in town for me.
I have friends who are visiting the Austin area
once for a wedding, once for an event.
So you'll get like a quick drink off with them.
I'll get a quick drink off
that'll turn into more drinks.
That'll turn into texting Will
to come to Easy Tiger and Will will do it.
Then Will will be blacked out,
Sally will be pissed,
and that's kind of how it's going to go.
Yeah, if I go out Friday with Brett,
it's pretty much guaranteed
I'm in bed by nine on Saturday. That's the trend. There's worse things. I've been going to go. Yeah, if I go out Friday with Brett, it's pretty much guaranteed I'm in bed by 9 on Saturday.
That's the trend.
There's worse things.
I've been going to bed stupid early lately.
I don't hate it.
I'm feeling good about it.
Wish I could.
You know what I'd do is,
you want to watch the LSU game somewhere?
I'm not committing to that right now.
Okay.
But that would be the potential.
Friday we can take off.
Ooh, Rustic Tab.
That's going to be the spot.
Saturday, LSU, somewhere. The spot. Friday we can take off. Ooh, rustic tab. That's going to be the spot. Saturday LSU somewhere.
The spot. Okay.
It's on. It's. I'm not
penciling it in, but it's on the radar.
Alright.
I'm all in on LSU.
I think they got a good chance. Not all in
like. I'm cheering
for them. Yeah.
In terms of college football playoff,
I want LSU to be there in the national championship.
Over Bama, for sure.
Yeah, they're fun as fuck.
Let's do it.
Hey, Brett, do you have any breaking news for us?
Will, as a matter of fact, I do.
I'm very glad you asked.
I have a couple different topics here.
A little choose your adventure, Dylan.
Do we want to go?
Batman.
Corporate bear hugs. We're cutting out the middleman wow i love a good
corporate bear hug let's go start there okay do we get a big offer uh not yet okay but
hewlett packard did hp xerox shouts to rochester new York, upstate, western New York, they are considering a $27 billion takeover of Hewlett-Packard.
$27 billion.
That's a good amount of money.
That's a chunk.
No word yet if it's stock or cash.
Would assume most of it's stock.
But Hewlett-Packard, they were the first Silicon Valley startup in 1957.
Did you know that?
Everybody knows that.
Okay.
Yeah.
startup in 1957. Did you know that?
Everybody knows that.
Xerox,
who's been kind of like... Them and Kodak were Rochester's
two big companies, both not doing so
hot. I think this is kind of
a desperation move by Xerox.
Wow.
You like this, Dave? Yeah.
Okay. Two, Batman.
Andy Serkis of Planet of the Apes fame,
where he played an ape.
He's in talks to play Alfred Pennyworth in The Batman.
I don't know this man.
Is this the Robert Pattinson Batman?
I believe so.
Yes.
They're also considering getting McConaughey.
Not that excited about it.
For Alfred Pennyworth?
No.
I don't know what McConaughey's...
McConaughey in a Batman? He would be a great Batman. All I'm saying is they're thinking about it for alfred pennyworth no they're i don't know what mcconaughey and a batman
you would be a great all i'm saying is they're thinking about it not as batman though right i
think this i'm actually excited for this batman actually i think it'll i think it has potential
have we run the batman while dry like can we stop no no i'm joker's only gonna make it
go further go on and on, it's just not...
It's never going to stop.
The Joker's going to get its...
I mean, it's its own franchise at this point, right?
I think that's a one-off.
I think it's going to happen, though.
The amount of money that they're piling in,
I feel like it's going to be its own franchise.
I just can't...
I can't get down with any Alfred Pennyworth
who's not Michael Caine.
That's fair.
That's my problem with this.
That's fair.
Andy Serkis is not a bad person for this, though.
He's too young.
He looks kind of old, though.
Yeah, he looks old,
but Alfred Pennyworth's old old.
Yeah, but this might be one of those things
that he's doing this for a very long period of time.
Did Michael Caine get Me Too'd?
I don't know.
I hope not.
It sucks that that's a question
we have to ask these days when we bring up somebody. No. I hope not. It sucks that that's a question we have to ask these days
about when we bring up somebody.
No, he did not.
As of June 2nd, 2019, it says,
Sir Michael Caine hails the Me Too movement
and says actresses don't have to worry
about getting raped at auditions now.
So Michael Caine is a staunch defender of the Me Too movement.
Good for you.
Good for him.
Shout out Michael.
That's a good take.
Yeah, I didn't want to bounce.
David, I got one more.
You'll like this one.
Cutting out the middleman.
A kid from Minnesota, University of Minnesota, is buying Krispy Kreme donuts in Iowa.
I saw this.
Yes.
Taking them back to Minnesota and reselling them for a profit.
Now, cutting out the middleman, Krispy Kreme said stop.
Yeah, they got to protect their their uh ip and whatnot their ip
they said they wanted to protect the quality of their products well i think wasn't he selling it
under the what was he reselling it as just boxes of donuts no he was selling just selling crispy
cream donuts yes i don't there's a lot there's a lot of things in play here but yeah crispy cream
is going to look like the bad guy even though what they're doing is like what a company should do i agree with you now but they can't they need to
make it right they did say they did their statement said upon graduation they're going to donate 500
dozen boxes of crispy cream donuts to help them get going with the new store that's awesome man
so many new people are gonna have diabetes well i I thought Dylan would like it because it's like a glazing story.
Yeah.
So.
I'd have nothing.
Isn't your favorite movie Glazing Saddles?
No, but Blazing Saddles is a funny one.
I thought you liked Glaze of Glory.
Glaze of Glory.
Okay.
I can't do this anymore.
I'm out.
You and Brett had a tough go today.
This has been a tough week for me.
You're fine.
If this is the worst it gets, you're in good hands.
Dylan and I got to go to lunch.
We're going to Glazing Cane's.
Oh, man.
All right.
Should we get out of here?
Come on, man.
Yeah, let's get out of here.
All right.
Bye. See right. Bye.
See you guys tomorrow.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.