Circling Back - A Long Three-Steak Weekend
Episode Date: March 4, 2024Entire squad cut from a different cloth lately. Dave can't stop eating ribeyes for dinner, Will got a new phone case, and Dillon's just out here doing Mr. Trojan things. We officially announce the NEW... YORK CITY MEET-UP (coming this fall), the emojis thrown at the person doing Vice layoffs, toe-licking and "that" event at our high schools, gay whales, Wonka update, and bruv haircuts. Enjoy a free one-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (9:00) New York City Meet-Up (16:30) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (33:00) Vice Emoji Layoff (41:10) Toe Lickers Only (47:00) Whales Spotted Having Sex (58:00) Billy McFarland offers to help out Willy Wonka people (1:02:40) Can’t Get Over These Kids Haircuts Support This Episode’s Sponsors Fitbod: www.fitbod.me/steam (20% off) Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) Lucy: www.lucy.co/steam (STEAM for 20% off) BetterHelp: www.betterhelp.com/circling (10% off first month) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the washed HQ in Austin, Texas. It's your boy, Will DeFreeze.
My left, that boy, David Ruff.
I did something so unique, so different,
that I almost tweeted about it as a tease,
but I thought better of it,
and I'm going to save it for this weekend and fun,
which I do believe this recap will be presented by Lucy when we get there.
But just know, I want you guys to stew on it for a minute.
I did something that no one's done.
No one has even thought about doing.
If you've done this, you're lying.
Because I'm the first.
And I'm very excited to tell you about it.
It's a unique thing.
You know what, Dave?
Something I appreciate about you is that they don't make men like you anymore.
Do they break the mold?
You're cut from
a different cloth damn man this is going to be something that i'm going to tell my son about
and then i'm going to tell my other son about it and then in theory if i'm lucky enough they're
going to tell their son they're going to tell their sons and daughters okay dylan shivery i'm
ready to hear it yeah you're gonna have to wait until this weekend and follow me. Dylan Chivary, ladies and gentlemen.
I don't know if you're going to like it.
So morning was off to a pretty good start.
Vibes were strong.
Then I learned something that really shook me and derailed my entire day.
Our producer has paper hands.
Yeah.
You think you know a guy.
You thought he had diamond hands it turns out
he doesn't so uh yeah okay i heard the i heard the nickname senior origami flying around the
studio before this i heard that paper hands that's pretty good senior origami it's gonna
take a while to get over that but yeah you do you randy bitcoin's absolutely soaring uh people
out there i know we've got a lot of listeners
who've got just straight up diamond hands uh randy apparently is averse to having diamond hands it's
weird man yeah i sold like maybe a quarter of my bitcoin huh weird randy you don't have to talk
about your finances publicly no no i won't and that's all I have to say. Okay. My Dogecoin is seeing a profit right now.
Seeing a profit right now.
Well, you better sell because...
Yeah, I might.
Yeah.
When I hear the word profit come out of your mouth,
you don't know what profits are, dog.
Yeah, dude.
I think I do.
It already went up since you sold your bit too.
I'm going to need to see your P&L, please.
My what?
Your P&L.
You didn't know what that is. Dude, I feel like I'm going to need to see your P&L, please. My what? Your P&L. You didn't know what that is.
Dude, I feel like I'm at a dead show because I'm just looking forward to my estimated profits right now.
Damn.
Your Estes.
I'm assuming that's a pun on one of their songs.
Get those Estes.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
I know.
I walked in the studio today and y'all were like, dude, Will, you got a lot of riz today.
What's up?
I did say that, yeah.
People were like, did you get a lot of riz today what's up i did say that people were like did you get a haircut and i was like nah people are like have you like did
you like trim down over the weekend i was like no i was like but yeah i did get a new phone case
oh look at this thing dude look how fuzzy this thing is dude that's i'm on my suede grind right
now you want to touch a day you're a swagger hound with that thing yeah when's the last time
y'all got a new phone case?
This is the one that we got from Nomad, which was like almost a sponsor.
They sponsored like one.
Yeah.
The Nomad cases are nice.
I love it.
Yeah.
My case started to fall apart on me, so I ordered a new one. And I haven't ordered a non-Apple case in, I don't know, ever.
I just order one when I get the phone.
It's really throwing me off the pinky feel underneath my phone.
It's suede?
I don't know if it's like actual suede or some type of like synthetic material.
That's on some baller shit I don't even know about.
It's not that baller though.
Like I got by an Instagram ad.
How does it work with your pocket liners?
You know, I'll be honest.
The pants that I wear on a daily basis don't really take phones in very well anyway. So I've become a back phone or back pocket phone
guy lately. Yeah. That's the swag place to keep it. I don't like it, but dude, it gets in the way
of my Copenhagen long cut. Yeah, that's true. It's annoying. That ring that you have in every
pair of pants is going to slowly start to disappear. Exactly. I don't want people to
think I've got like a growth on my tight little ass right you know what i mean yeah you just want they want to see nothing but booty cheek
back there right whenever i wear my my tight fitting jeans with no pockets on the back it's
it's i always just drop my phone on the ground you always wear those too we had a call on voicemails
i don't think it got played but there's a guy for some reason he told a story about how he broke up
with his like seventh grade girlfriend because she because she wore pocketless jeans to school.
Dude, no.
That was a bad girl thing to wear back in the day.
That was like, I want the boys to see everything.
And this dude just couldn't handle it.
He knew, no, you're a wildflower.
You deserve to be free.
I had some toxic masculinity going through my veins around eighth grade.
My girlfriend showed up wearing a really nice outfit outfit and she looked really pretty at it but like she looked so hot that i could tell
all the guys were like looking at her and making comments about it and by by third hour i had like
three dudes be like dude she's looking pretty good today and i was like i was like stop wearing that
then like all everyone's talking about how hot you are she was all gussied up and that is when i
realized i was just toxic as fuck gussy that's
a good word people were walking up big dog it was like i wasn't embarrassed but i was like i was
like man like everyone's looking at my girlfriend right now i don't like this you're a little
insecure yeah i definitely did dude and one of the main players that that called it out he ended up
dating her after so i think that i think it did she could have any guy in the school why is she
with me i mean yeah look at me yeah no dude. Yeah. No, dude, I had Riz.
Yeah, for sure.
For sure.
I had my Trapper Keeper and stuff.
If you didn't have a Trapper Keeper, you weren't fucking with my click.
We had to have a Trapper Keeper.
It was like...
We would have kicked you out of my click back then.
You weren't standing up business if you just had folders.
Yeah, what are you doing?
Your parents not love you?
Can't get you a Trapper Keeper?
I could see you having the messiest fucking Trapper Keeper. to that thing i was i was fairly randy randy knows i think
randy agrees i was gonna say dylan just puts off loose sheets in the backpack vibes yeah
oh my god yeah no that that gives me chills uh-uh can't do that come on shut up paper hands
oh mind your business okay randy return my paper hands on my. Mind your business. Okay. Randy?
Return.
My paper hands on my Trapper Keeper.
Oh, Dylan.
Yeah.
I have no rebuttal.
This rap battle is over.
You're just a classic three-ring binder guy.
Yeah, dude.
You punch your own holes.
Yeah.
And he just bodied me with that one. Dude, my Trapper Keeppper keeper was just teachers love seeing how organized your
boy was what was on your trapper keeper dude i had to be honest i had a pretty swag like trapper
geometric shapes and stuff no i had a crayola trapper keeper oh shit that's swag it was like
it was for like younger kids but i kind of thought it was drippy so i just bought it
and then i ended up drawing all over it with a ballpoint pen okay every time i did that i always regretted it
i like i always regret putting stickers on my lappy i like that clean look yeah you just keep
doing it i know dude i can't stop i love stickers stickers are fun man my squad my squad just
straight up kept a trapper at all times yeah we were a little bit different yeah yeah i'll do time
you knew Trapper?
Yeah, T-Man?
Dude, Trapper, dude.
You never know what that guy's up to.
Oh, my God.
Skip class to go throw a fly rod.
Oh, dude.
It's a practice.
Dude.
Yeah, dude.
Dude, he did the entire second semester from Telluride that one year.
His parents had that place out there?
Yeah.
Did he ever take you out there?
No, dude.
It wasn't that nice?
No.
They couldn't fit me on the plane.
It was a weight issue.
It was larger that nice. No, they couldn't fit me on the plane. It was a weight issue It was large Wow
That's what really? Yeah, they couldn't fit my 140 pound high school frame on the plane. Yeah, I've seen photos
Are you from high school? I don't know if that was the problem. How's it being?
I remember you being that big. Oh, dude. Yeah, we didn't have a good weight room
We didn't have the Saratoga Springs weight room. Hey, got i got served that yesterday what's that about dude it's crazy
that's a school with too much public funding they're winning a lot of state titles though
right and saratoga you gotta think you gotta think there's a lot of talent going through
saratoga springs when brett sent me the photo of their new weight room i was like you gotta be
kidding me like what this is so unnecessary like that's a that's like a 6A Texas high school weight room.
Yeah.
Which is a serious compliment, by the way.
Our weight room was about the size.
I'm not kidding when I say in high school, our weight room was about the size of this studio.
It was tiny.
Really?
Yeah.
They could not have expected us to put on mass in that thing.
You were still throwing around big boy weight, though, right?
Dude, yeah.
I lived in the weight room.
Four and six.
Okay. Well, now they have that weight room, Dave. Yeah, dude. I mean, that's what you do after a Four and six. Okay.
Well, now they have that weight room, Dave.
Yeah, dude.
I mean, that's what you do after a four and six season.
You reinvest.
They're about to be six and four, and then it's just up from there.
Not bowl eligible.
Oh, come on.
But they are the Saratoga Springs Blue Streaks.
Did you know that?
I learned that the other day.
Is that like a Comet streak?
What are we?
I don't know.
There's a movie with
martin lawrence named blue streak that's right i don't remember if it's a good one or not my and
i don't know i don't know if it was that good damn gina remember that line four and six
sorry speaking of new york oh do we have some results to share with the people
who probably already know they've been paying attention?
Oh, yeah.
So the fundraiser, of which all funds are going to St. Jude Children's Hospital, came down to the final day.
A new leader emerged the final day. February 29th was a Thursday.
New York overtook Seattle.
New York won.
We are officially going to New York City for a meetup this year.
I feel like I, as a host, I shouldn't have donated live on air.
I feel like I turned the tide when that happened.
Did you put your thumb on the scale?
I don't know.
A little bit.
Actually, Seattle finished third now that I'm looking at this.
Damn.
New York beat Washington D.C. by
$900.
We could make both of those in one weekend
if we really wanted to.
A little East Coast swing.
I mean, I'm excited to go
to New York. This is a great opportunity for
us. I've had several people reach out to us
about the timing of this. I don't think it's going to be an
immediate turnaround for us.
What do you mean? Like when we go?
Yeah. Yeah, we gotta plan it all out.
We don't know what we're doing. I want to give the people
at home...
Is it crazy to say like a couple months?
No, I want to give people time. The biggest
complaint we've ever had with meetups is people being like,
y'all announced it too quickly and you guys only do it in Texas
so we have to travel in. So we know we're going to chicago
in june yeah it'll probably be after like it'll probably be early early fall for new york i would
think so just because like this is just me being selfish i don't want to go to new york in the
middle of summer sounds terrible is it hot does it get hot there i don't know it just smells like
garbage anyway and like when it gets hot there everyone's going out of town for the weekend
okay let's like new york's an all--time like leave the city for the weekend place.
Let's do like a late August, early September John up there.
Yeah, it's got to be after Labor Day.
Something like that.
After Labe's?
I'm excited for New York.
I didn't think New York was actually going to win.
I really thought Seattle would be fine.
I really thought D.C. had a good contingent there.
But I'm not mad about New York.
Washington came on strong. I forgot that they took the lead with a few days to go.
I forgot to mention that. In the end, Washington always fails you.
I was excited about DC. Yeah. I'm excited to go with Brett to all of his old haunts
and watch him do the regular guy thing. And they're like, who are you? We don't remember you.
Yeah. Is that a new word that's emerged recently, haunts i don't know it's just something they say for like for the first
time a couple months ago and i've heard it like 30 times since it's just it's just it's just a way
it's kind of a fun word it is is brett going to order like three different things on the off menu
at the gem saloon they're like so we don't do we don't do that like what are you talking about sir
you haven't been here in six years.
Yeah, sir.
We've changed ownership.
Things have changed a little bit, dude.
There are rumors flying that we're going to try to turn the Gem Saloon into the Dick Saloon.
Yeah.
Just for one day.
They can't stop us.
If you guys need to get fitted for your chaps, now's probably a good time to start doing that.
I know it's kind of difficult to wear them in, but we can wear them in for you.
What's New York City's hottest nightclub i'm gonna
look it up because i want to go my buddy and i used my buddy and i used to have this thing that
we do where he he had an office in like manhattan very downtown feeling and i don't know new york
that well but he had a really douchey club slash restaurant slash whatever near his office called
skylark and we just always kick off our trip by going to Skylark and getting a Red Bull vodka
just to be douchebags for a little bit.
Skylark.
We might have to go to Le Bain.
Exclusive venue.
We're probably going to need some New York backers
who we trust to help us out here.
I know Brett's probably going to...
Brett's going to want to take over the whole...
He's going to want to take over.
I want to get some boots on the ground help.
We will have some Brett input, but he's not going to do the whole thing.
We need some locals.
If you are potentially our biggest douchebag in New York City listener,
you just know, look, I'm a douchebag and I get it.
I'll douchebag stand up.
I want to talk to you.
I'd like to get your input for this trip.
If your name's Hunter and you work in finance in New York City,
please reach out to us.
You know our emails.
Yeah.
We also have another announcement to make.
Bit Madness is upon us.
If you want to go be a part of Bit Madness, now's the time to do it.
If you go to our Reddit, I think everything's on there.
You can go to reddit.com slash circling back.
There's probably a thread there where you can go help with the seating.
We'll be doing it towards the end of every episode once Bit Madness starts.
And it'll be business as usual, baby.
It's our most popular time of year.
Our YouTube channel is back,
youtube.com slash circling back.
We're not doing something special today,
but I'm going to kick the ball over to Randy.
Here's a crisp little bounce pass to you.
Randy, what's happening Wednesday?
Wednesday, I'm going to start doing YouTube premieres.
So at 2.30 on Mondays and Wednesdays,
we will be releasing the episode as a YouTube premiere.
For people that don't know what that is.
It just means that it'll be like a live
broadcast of the episode.
So you can get in there and be in the chat like it's
a live stream. So if you guys
want to watch it with other backers and comment and
watch it live, 2.30
Central Time every Monday
and Wednesday. And then if you want to watch it later,
it just stays on YouTube. But if you want to
watch the live broadcast, tune in. We might be in the chat sometimes. Who knows? I would love to be in the chat on Wednesday. And then if you want to watch it later, it just stays on YouTube. But if you want to watch the live broadcast, tune in. We might be in the chat sometimes. Who knows? I would love to
be in the chat on Wednesday, but I don't think I'm going to be here. But if I'm chilling at my desk
on a Monday afternoon while you guys are doing too much dip or something, you best believe I
might be in that chat just absolutely mobbing. Hell yeah. You can use username Will. That's
my username. How'd you lock that one down? I talked to YouTube.
That's huge.
Dr. YouTube gave me the priority access.
I think it's time.
Those are good people to know.
Hey, you guys are probably wondering why I'm so dialed right now.
Is it because you're wearing your fun guy polo shirt today?
That's part of it.
The other part of it is I have a Lucy in.
This episode is sponsored by Lucy.
Can you explain what lucy is
that's pretty good it is a 100 pure nicotine completely tobacco free they come in three
different versions you got the pouch they got the breaker which is my favorite has a little
flavor capsule in it it's the sound it makes when you bite into it. That was nice, dude. That was a good sound. I think Dave prefers the gum.
Love it.
I got some on my desk right now.
They come in two milligram.
I'm going to gum.
I don't chew it on the show.
Two milligram for the guys out there.
I would call you out.
If you were chewing gum on the show, I'd be so annoyed with you.
No, I've done it before, and I realized it's my mistake.
Two milligrams up to 12 milligrams.
I mess with the fours.
That's kind of my zone right there.
I love them, man.
It gets me dialed in, like I said.
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After launch, I'm kind of feeling, you know, you drag around like 2 o'clock or so.
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What'd you do this weekend, bitch?
Oh, shit.
Sorry, you talking to me or him?
I'm talking to Dylan.
I had a sick, sick weekend.
Best weekend in a long time.
You okay?
You looked a little emaciated this morning.
Yeah, thank you.
So Friday, I played in a golf scramble.
Two of my buddies are turning 40.
We had a 15-man, three-team golf scramble.
We finished last place.
Not a big deal.
We had fun.
We had the most fun out of all the teams.
What scorecard did you guys turn in?
We were only, we had five people on our team.
Okay.
We were 300.
No!
What?
Oh, that's bad. How many bogeys did you guys take?
Zero bogeys.
Okay, okay, okay.
We just could not make a putt to save our lives.
You only had five chances to.
I didn't contribute that much.
No.
Yeah.
Not that much.
We had fun, though.
I had a great time.
Where were you, if you had to rank yourself on the team sheet that you had, where are
you ranked on the team that you were on uh probably a solid between three and four okay
like we did use some of my shots okay but i wasn't our ace player i was certainly our worst putter
did you cigar up uh i didn't cigar up i did have a couple heaters if i'm being quite honest with
you wow i had a couple heaters oh yeah so that was a lot of
fun then hung out with with the squad that night did someone turn in a 43 no like the winning
again it's a hard course the winning score i believe was like six under oh there's maybe
seven somewhere in there okay you you were in the conversation. Yeah. Yeah. I did absolutely get a hold of one, which I have on video.
Just piped a drive.
Oh.
Not a big deal.
You should post it.
I probably will.
Saturday, Parks had baseball practice.
Then we went to the Texas basketball game.
They took care of business against Oklahoma State.
They met up with some fam.
It's dub season.
Went to a park.
Had dinner with the fam.
Yesterday, Parks and I went on a five-and-a-half-mile bike ride around the trail.
It was fun.
So much fun.
He loved it.
It was kind of tough on him.
I was going to say, two-a-day parks.
He worked through it.
He got a little emotional at times because it was a little hard.
I was like, dude, you got this.
He got it.
He's proud of himself.
We did it.
Does his bike have pegs?
His bike does not have pegs.
Does it have the gyro where you can spin the handlebars?
No.
Does it have six shocks?
It's a little kid.
It's basically a little kid's bike.
He doesn't have rock shocks on it?
Co-op is the brand.
Co-op.
Very, very popular kid's bike these days yeah very popular
would that set you back it was a christmas gift a couple years ago from my father okay yeah do you
know how much your dad paid for that okay you could probably look it up online uh then we had
dinner last night uh just a great weekend with look one of those one of those weekends where
you feel like you know i did a good job as a dad this week he was a very busy very happy kid and i felt really good about it
a plus weekend a plus you didn't let him watch the uh the houston classic you didn't let him
watch what those bobcats did on longhorns did no no the longhorns had a tough weekend on the on
the diamond but that's okay you can't give up a game winner when the dude's blowing a bubble mid
swing yeah that's tough.
It's like the sickest baseball photo I've seen.
Longhorns took a few on the chin on the baseball diamond.
Not their season.
Is this Texas State team still full of dogs?
I don't know.
Do they have the dude that wears construction gloves still?
I don't know if he's on the team anymore. That guy was fucking sick.
What an asshole.
No, dude, that's awesome.
That's the most Texas State dude there is.
That's ridiculous.
They should make him the new mascot.
Shout out to Boco.
All right, I'm going to pass the rock to David now.
Oh, shit.
Pass got swatted.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Guy who can't catch.
Hey, what's going on?
So I teased something in the introduction, didn't I?
A little tease.
So we went up to...
Dude, you're circling back so hard right now.
I am.
I'm going to circle back on that.
Ring the bell.
Ding.
No, so we had a wedding in Dallas.
We had the rehearsal dinner friday the
wedding saturday saturday um thursday i was home alone it was uh it was dave and randy my dog um
my wife took the kids up thursday she went up a night early so it's just me at home and um
i was like you know what what am i going to do for dinner i don't
want to i don't want to pay an uber eats or whatever or post you know that's those fees
things of that nature i went to whole foods got a uh grass-fed ribeye and uh took it home got some
asparagus i did a steak real quick on the cast iron real quick medium medium rare. It was phenomenal. Friday come around and, uh, we head up,
I get my suit out, stand at my parents' place, put it on, went to the rehearsal dinner. Um,
it was at a steakhouse, a very good steakhouse in Dallas. Um, sat down, It was lovely. Saw some people I hadn't seen in a long, long time. Very,
very fun time. And they put down the steak in front of me and I had that steak, medium rare.
It was delightful. We got home at a reasonable time. We didn't want to, you know, blow it out
Friday night. Got the thing Saturday. So Saturday comes around, just had a day. The grandkids or my grandparents
got to see Rhodes and my son, Sammy, during the day. And then I put on my tux, back-to-back
weekends, black tie affair. Very nice. Went up to the wedding, which is at a very nice outdoor,
outdoor it's like the kind of a museum or museum as you say and um it was very nice sat down and um they brought me my steak so i went uh i three peated on the steak
i went to steak three nights in a row can you remind me no one's ever done you remind me what
i said about dave that he was cut from a different cloth.
Three separate stake transactions.
That's never been done.
How many stake cards are you allowed to play in one week?
I don't know, but you guys, I might be getting dragged out of here in cuffs because they might be taking me away for a while.
You may not see me.
I may never put on this headset again.
So much protein.
So much protein?
Yeah.
The protein police are watching me.
Too much. Yeah. You know police are watching me. Too much.
Yeah.
So I went back to back to back on them.
So you could say if there's a glow about me, it's probably the steak.
It's probably the combined, oh, I don't know, 150 to 175 grams of protein.
Just in those particular meals that I ingested. You had other meals, surely. Oh, I don't know, 150 to 175 grams of protein.
Yeah.
Just in those particular meals.
Right.
That I ingest.
You had other meals, surely.
My gut biome right now is they're very confused, let me say.
Yeah, like, whoa.
Let me say.
They're like, mix in a vegetable.
They're like, I didn't know Dave was such a dog.
I heard Alyssa's starting to have to make you smoothies in the morning with lettuce in them so that you can get your greens in.
She's worried about my gout.
Mm-hmm.
She's worried about that gout fire now. What'd do right now player it's gone it just burst right off like a pimple rich man's disease man well eating good we're eating good out here uh yesterday came back
you know i was struggling a little bit yesterday i went fairly hard at the the wedding. Um, went fairly hard at the weekend
before at the wedding. And I think that's it. I've got one more wedding in October. Did not
plan on having three, um, in the year I turned 43 weddings seems like a lot, but we're doing it.
And we're two thirds of the way through. We're, we're getting powering through and you know what?
I don't, I don't know what's going to be on the menu in October, but it's going to be fucking red meat.
I'm going to have it.
So thanks.
Damn.
I hope it's fish.
That's gangsta.
I should mix in some fish.
I hope it's a nice salmon.
I could use a good salmon.
I hope it's chicken or salmon or tilapia.
Ooh, what about a nice spinach salad?
Mm.
She's done it, no boo.
Sure.
Don't look at me.
I'm passing you the rock.
Pass me the rock, then.
It's more of a hand.
Okay.
I put on my dad hat this weekend.
Not physically, more metaphorically.
Right.
My wife was out of town on a girls weekend in Scottsdale, Arizona.
I went on Find Friends to see where their house was, and
they had a giant chessboard
out next to the pool.
Human-sized chess pieces.
I don't think they played very much chess, based
on what I heard from the trip. It's a lot of work
moving those bad boys around. A lot of work, yeah.
You gotta imagine that Scottsdale heat, too.
That sun hitting down on the black pieces. Are they heavy?
I don't know. I wasn't there.
What are those big dogs made out of? Are they be played yeah i think so yeah okay um so yeah
thursday to sunday your boy was just solo boys weekend i crushed it they crushed it it was a
great weekend i i i realized i i learned a lot about them just spending so much like undisturbed
time uh had nice little i i had that feeling all weekend where they went to bed at like normal I learned a lot about them just spending so much undisturbed time.
I had that feeling all weekend where they went to bed at normal times, and then I just had all the time at night to do whatever the hell I wanted to do
because it was just like no wife around.
I can fucking watch a concert video on TV right now without headphones.
I can watch Love Island for as long as I want without her telling me she's tired
and wants to go to bed.
That's what's up.
That's what's up, dude.
I'm a bad boy.
And so, yeah, it was a good weekend.
I did play my Zocard on Saturday night.
Had a buddy over with his son.
Zocards did get played.
Dave, I'm not trying to cuck your meat weekend, but since you're the meat king right now,
can I tell you what my rotation of meals was on Saturday through Sunday?
Please.
Saturday morning, I woke up and i made some uh eggs and uh some sausage for the fritz man we got some of this this i got some of the best pan sausage you've ever seen right now
it's so good i'm just making patties not spicy though little man probably can handle that spice
no i don't do spice it's got spices in it but It's not spicy though. Little man probably can handle that spice. No, I don't do spice. It's got spices in it, but it's not spicy. That's the problem with Parks.
The sausage I cook for him for breakfast, too spicy. No, this sausage is for real eaters only.
And so after that, I went straight into, I had a pre-made meal from Central Marquette.
You familiar with that place, Dave? good spot and so uh it was beef
bourguignon and so i hit that for lunch the beef borg and then when the boys came over to absolutely
mob for pizza night uh yeah i did get a meat lovers pizza oh yes this guy goes beef borg right
into zon i'm different you're off your pesco, apparently. Yeah, I'm kind of just vibing right now.
Eating any animal that presents itself to me.
Whole squad eating good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How are your feet doing?
Mine's good, I think.
Okay.
Big toe's not gouty yet.
Boys are on gout watch.
That's what's up, dude.
But yeah, pretty low-key weekend.
Feel good about myself, though.
I wasn't too worried about going into it, but you always have those anxieties of like,
oh, you know what?
What if Sally's not there to help put him down in a time of need?
What if he's losing his mind?
But nah.
They were dogs.
Nah, they were like, well, we got you, dude.
Where did you order your pizza from?
Got it from a place called Love Supreme.
Okay.
They do an aggressive amount of meat on the pizza
i'll say that if you eat a pepperoni you best believe there's probably at least one maybe two
pepperonis underneath it like they're not they're not individually placing these there's just
pepperoni everywhere bonus roni it doesn't reheat that well that's my main issue with it but it's
pretty damn good when it comes out so yeah that's what's up closed it down last night with the little uh snl it was fine
casey and then uh i've been watching traitors dude
i love this show you guys gotta watch it's the best new reality show going right now
i'm working my way through true detective season one a lot of people are saying we've got eckins
sue very got ct like've got just dogs in there.
Goats.
What platform and or streaming service is it on?
It's on Peacock.
Oh, I don't get Peacock.
So I'd have to pay for that.
Yeah.
To pay to play.
But if this sweetens the deal for you anymore, Dave,
Love Island All-Stars is fully on Peacock right now.
Most people say Peacock, but.
That's how you say the animal hey dylan okay i finished 1883 last night yeah yeah good i i recommend it better than it gets
my stamp of approval better than yellowstone yeah they're not i mean it's just yes it's not as
whenever you say you're into 1883,
I immediately think of some shitty tequila
that you're drinking.
You're just plowing through this fifth of tequila.
Who's the guy that y'all went on a cruise with
that's loosely associated with the...
The chain smokers.
No, the other guy.
Lil Dicky?
The Kardashian kid.
Brody Jenner?
It's like his tequila.
Yeah. It's like... It's yeah it's like it's okay yeah yeah
yeah if you were a celebrity who started their own liquor brand like would you what would you
go you go mescal fuck yeah i'd go mescal you kidding i would do uh malort
you got to go behind the paywall if you want to see what happens when the boys do i forgot you
made us do shots of malort i'm never drinking before do you know what to get you have you still
have someone sitting around but not not in the office yeah i put it back on the the built-in
shelf that it stays in my apartment okay which you could probably see you got a built-in show
randy trebek you pay for that with your bitcoin judy your Bitcoin You could probably see it in the background
Don't self promote
At Randy Tremblay
Randy put a thirst trap on the TL
This past weekend
He just posted
He did that's annoying
You're annoying
He practiced a Juby slide in his
No those weren't your tux shoes
Those are the tux shoes. Those were just dress shoes. Those were the tux shoes, yeah.
I don't... So those were
rentals? No, no. Those are the ones I got from
Will. Okay. I was gonna say, they're gonna get
them back all scuffed up. Like, what the fuck happened here?
A Juby Slider. They specifically say you are not
gonna get your deposit back. I bought Juby
Slider shirts for these. What are you talking
about? He was present in the parking
lot with his dress shoes on.
Yeah, he's dragging toe. You did with his dress shoes on yeah you're dragging toe
you did look like you had a pretty fit bottom that thirst trap you put up on your story though
he went talk he wanted to top off in the newest one too they're gonna send the limu emu to like
collect payment from your ass for juby sliding in those uh what sorry the the powerpoint just
went really crazy there for a second i got it here dude you're
crushing right now i can't believe the guy posting this is electric shows yeah he's messing up it was
pre-show it's weird it's weird that his head's not in the game right now senior origami out here just
having trouble clicking his mouth he's got such paper hands hard to click with paper hands, dog. Dude.
This is hard on you, dog.
You know what?
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Dave, we got a Vice update.
Yeah, we reported last week.
I don't know if we were first or like we don't know
if we broke this story but we were pretty early on it um not going well had to do some layoffs
very sad you don't love to see it but um be cool if they're all doing layups
just pounding that glass they're just in the line together just putting it up on the glass
tossing it to one another you know honestly there's nothing more electric than just like a
full court layup you just lay it in like boop been here before two maybe and one i don't know
there was nothing that like i was always so scared whenever we were playing basketball in gym class
and i had like a breakaway and i had to go lay it up. I was like, I'm never going to put this down.
There's no way I put this in.
I had a breakaway layup one time.
This is like middle school to like win the game.
Like it was like final seconds and I didn't even hit rim.
I don't know how it happened.
I tried to finger roll one time
and I got just completely yelled at by the coach.
He was like, what are you trying to do?
Why are you finger rolling it, dude? Fundamentals's like we've been we've been doing layup practice like
for months will said there's something about a finger roll that's pretty sweet tight yeah unless
you airball it um so vice held a town hall like kind of all hands, you know, like, but it's virtual. An e-meeting, if you will, Dylan.
Yeah, sure. And they had to end it because I don't know what platform they were using.
It doesn't say here in the, in this here story, but staffers, as soon as she went on the CEO,
they just started hitting her. They didn't turn off the emo emojis so it was just a flood of thumbs down and there's a fair now just her face looks so defeated it's an eboo dude that's so good it's
a virtual booing they didn't take out the the tomato emoji so you can throw tomatoes at her
and the sad faces on the right too yeah that's tough that's tough if you're on screen for this
because you have to like so all these vice employees got a meeting to
an e-town hall the second i get that i'm like should i just quit this company anyway like this
just i don't want to go to a town hall within the confines of my company and then you get let go
i'd be like okay that's probably better if you want that savvy though you got to stick around
and get fired it's true or stick around and go down with the ship yeah or you already had a job lined up and you walk out of that meeting
um with everybody else kind of happy because you're going to get severance and you're going
to get like double payment because you start your new job next week it's a hypothetical company knew
how badly i could have used just like three months of not working they would have laid me off i've
never had that i gotta be gotta keep it 100 with you, playboy.
T-Man, man, I like a bandit.
That was a great round.
He just walked out of there like shoulders back,
just like, all right, man.
I was leaving anyway.
All right, hey, man, let's catch up before I move.
Yeah.
There's going to be a time when I regret saying this,
but I haven't been unemployed for more than a week in my entire life.
I think I would like a little time where i'm like
scrambling a little bit or at least just like you know what i'm getting a little savvy right now
calling it a day i would have loved to mob with you guys it is such a damn shame that vice editorial
is shutting down though can't they just keep it can't they just do it like onion style and just
do the headlines and just make it like 300 word columns why don't we just start doing their their journalism it's true it's true i do think they have a pretty big budget and also
i don't know like what kind of i don't know what kind of things we'd have to do in order to make
sure that when we go to these third world countries to do drugs and stuff to make sure that like we're
okay i feel like we'd have to involve texas dives yeah a friend from yeah he'd probably be a good
he'd probably be a good leader i feel like he'd'd be a good boots-on-the-ground guy for a Vice column.
I love The Onion so much.
I don't know who mentioned that.
How much fun would it be just to write headlines for The Onion?
Yeah.
So great.
It's like, so I, yeah.
It's awesome.
They've been doing it for a minute, too.
Can I read you the Vice Media statement regarding this matter?
It's unfortunate that employees remaining with the organization who greatly want to contribute to its success were sabotaged by a few bad actors.
The spokesperson added, we understand that emotions are running high after such a significant change to the company.
And we'll continue to communicate.
Our strategic vision moving forward is the right one for Vice.
Okay.
So I don't know what platform they were using, but I wonder if they go looking back, they're like, you know what?
We should have figured out how to just disable all reactions.
This looks like a Google meet to me, which like, I mean, if I'm in there and I start seeing the thumbs down emoji get thrown around and i've just been fired i'm definitely hitting that thumbs down emoji a
million times oh absolutely i don't care if you can see it's my if it's my face or not yeah what
are they gonna do fire you dave when's the last time you thumbs down someone uh driving that's
all i do yesterday you got me on 35 just rolling through belton you should try my thing you go no hands on the wheel it is so funny it's usually at a red
light or like or someone's i don't know i'm not like you know going 85 down the highway going
doing cry cry face sally and i merged the other day uh she was driving and we merged and because
we needed to turn very quickly and there was a guy who was getting on the road behind us
and he sped up when he saw Sally was trying to merge
to make a point and then he laid on the horn at us.
And I looked back and I got both the kids in the backseat
and I just went, fuck you, dude.
Second I said that, I just hear, I don't know,
my almost three-year-old in the backseat just go,
fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.
And I was like, oh no.
Let's go.
What do I, no, no, no. Bad boy shit. I just looked forward, didn't acknowledge it, and just moved on. old in the back seat just go fuck you fuck you fuck you and i was like oh no let's go what do
i no no no we just i just looked forward didn't acknowledge it and just moved on have you guys
seen the new thing online that parents are doing with their kids they the new thing on tiktok that
i've been getting served a lot is that parents are bringing their kids into the bathroom and
setting up a phone and saying all right when i shut the door you can get all the swear words
out right now that you want.
You can say any swear word you want.
Okay, I have seen this.
Do it.
And it's just kids going like, shit.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Bitch.
Seeing little kids swear is awesome.
It's like the purge.
Like, you won't get in trouble for this
as long as you're in here and the door's closed.
I don't even know if Fritz would have any idea
what he was doing if I shut him in there.
He'd be like, fuck you.
Fuck you.
Poop.
Rest in peace, Vice.
The town hall was ultimately scrapped after some laid off employees invited to the virtual meeting.
Inundated leadership with thumbs down emojis.
The emojis, quote, became too much to ignore.
Flooding the screen for all to see, said the Vice spokesperson.
Imagine trying to explain the benefits benefits when you get laid off.
Like, all right, we're going to set you up with Cobra.
You guys are going to get this much severance.
And you're looking at yourself on the screen, and there's just thumbs down emojis just flooding your face.
Yeah, that's tough.
You know what?
That's a sign of weak leadership if you can't power through a few emojis.
That's true.
If you're letting emojis on real estate in your head, you don't deserve to run a media company well said i assume they're all like a lot of them are working remotely
like why why does this have to be virtual they don't have like a that's how everyone's doing
virtual these days yeah a lot of a lot of companies are going to the work from home method
model you familiar with this work from home stuff it's where people go home and they work
or they stay home and they where are
they based new york i don't fucking know dude probs we should find we should go maybe we should
go knock on the door okay we just want to see what's going on just check it out and we just
get we walk in and just they're like all right did you guys come here just a thumbs down the
company yeah we did we did that's why we're here we'll see you later we enjoyed your work though you don't have to get security we're leaving we're leaving uh but by the way
tough scene man i like what if somebody threw in like a heart and then they're like they just
doubled down like just kidding psych they thought they turned the tide and then it just never happened oh no do we have to do this next story
i mean i think it's important you know we uh i consider the midwest to be one of our biggest
markets just the entire midwest area the entire midwest and you know when something goes down
in the heart of the midwest specifically deer creek oklahoma we got to talk about it sure it's my heart of the
it's my least favorite bit that you do what oklahoma's in midwest i'm not going to go into
it because i'll get angry okay i don't i agree with will on that one i don't know why it's it's
like the only bit that you
do that actually like it actually it it evokes something within me that's like they're not
fucking midwest dude i don't even think it's anger towards dave i think it's anger towards
like oklahomans trying to say that they're part of the midwest okay from my experience oklahomans
are not as nice as midwesterners i agree they're pretty nice i agree that it's not
midwest but what region is oklahoma i don't know it's not the south i
don't know i think we should just take oklahoma people say the plains that's not a thing dude
what else includes the plains they're like tangentially southwest i don't know i don't
trust the plains you see these bolts flying off the fuck's going on there kansas has got to be planes hey bowen get your
ish together yeah dude these doors are sucking people out the plane you ever get sucked out by
a door what a lame name for a reason answer the question i've never been sucked out by a door
david i think you would have heard about it by now i don't know what the fuck you do on weekends
i was gonna hit by a car in a luby's once you do you know exactly we literally talk about his
weekend every single monday but i feel like he just doesn't give us like the full story like you know i don't mention
that that one time when the door came off when i was you know 40 000 feet up do you suck any
toe this weekend i've never sucked toe man disturbing video shows teens sucking licking
each other's toes at school sanctioned event as the as an agency is investigating um they're like all right so
this is on twitter and they're blurring the faces of the kids yeah which is good but i i do like
that like the tweets by the the local journos graphic warning like they're giving you like a
trigger warning like well you're gonna see some blurry faces licking toes you see some tongue
um the video says uh there was a a student volunteering uh in challenges to help raise
money for their annual annual philanthropy week and um part of that included raising money via
licking toes so dylan i'm gonna let you kind of just shit all over the charity part of this
what was the charity what did you say it was It looked like Unnamed Charity of Oklahoma.
Okay.
That's a good one.
That's a good one.
Unnamed Charity of the Midwest.
I just feel like there's a different way.
A better way?
Yeah.
I see they're in a gymnasium.
You could do a free throw competition.
Call me crazy.
Does it change things?
Listen,
I don't know what you guys get into on weekends again, especially Dylan. does it change things listen i don't know what you guys get into on weekends
again especially dylan but would it change things if you found out that the feet had peanut butter
on them no no you know you know my stance on peanut butter no your boy loves peanut butter
but still no did you guys have like an event at your high school yeah that was like sexual in
nature that got everyone in trouble. Oh, yeah.
I remember in eighth grade, I was at the top of the football stadium,
just absolutely vibing, and it was halftime,
and the band had just cleared the stage, and they were like,
and now for the Harbor Springs High School dance team.
We were like, oh, I didn't even know we had a dance team.
Sick.
And so we looked down at the stage, and they're all wearing like black leather and like really aggressive outfits. And we were like, what's going on? And they start playing pour some sugar on me. And like, it was like a movie.
It was like a movie where everyone was like, hold on, you cannot be doing this at a high school
event right now. And like, from that point on, like no cheerleaders, no dance team. And they
had to like, they had to redo it all all but it was just like the most shockingly
sexually aggressive halftime performance you could have at a high school of our size that
was just like no who cleared this dylan weren't you mr trojan i competed in mr trojan i did not
win however but that are they rebranding that it was our mascot have they rebranded it's a great
question like there's a connotation because it's a condom company yeah condom brand there's a connotation there uh no it's also just our mascot
i mean trojan is a you know yeah but just because it's your mascot doesn't mean that you like needs
to be like the the centerpiece of everything do you think trojans and condoms specifically
more broadly actually should be given out free for uh safe. Yeah, I do. You do?
You won the Mr. Durex competition at Duncanville High, right?
There was a swimsuit competition in that pageant, Mr. Trojan.
Like legit.
It's weird being 36 or 37 and looking back on that.
And that's like, yeah, probably shouldn't have done that.
But if they would have done that while I was in high school, everyone have been like hell yeah let's do a swimsuit competition my friend adam who didn't win but he was one of the finalists he was jacked at the time
like he was in really good shape he got oiled up he was like doing push-ups backstage and he when
he came out the girls went just fucking like hanging off the rafters it was really funny
dude there's a video of it somewhere i it's crazy you were there for the great free freak fest of 87 or was it 88
the one that like the anderson like had to apologize for i'm unfamiliar i don't with the
great freak fest you have an nda or 88 it was like a daggering don't pretend you don't know
about the great freak fest i was i was four slash five at the time. You guys didn't dagger for charity?
No, that didn't happen.
We did a kiss the pig.
If we raised enough money, the assistant principal had to kiss a pig, and that was it.
Wow.
It was a really big letdown.
Duncanville High School promotes bestiality.
Wow, y'all are crazy.
Yeah.
On the lips.
That's loco.
Remember that first episode of black mirror
not good that was bad not good remember that one vaguely what happened uh they told the guy in
parliament he had to have sex with that pig that was fucking wild man like and the pig was like
not a handsome pig i think i'm gonna go back and watch like every every black mirror i truly enjoy
watching i never watched the last season.
I think I watched four out of the six episodes from the last season.
I enjoyed them a lot.
The only reason I didn't watch one of them was because I didn't have enough time on the
plane to finish the episode.
And I don't start those without finishing them.
You know how your boy is.
I know how you are.
How did it end?
Did he fuck the pig?
I don't know.
I don't remember.
I don't know.
I mean, yeah, but like... I wasn't in a good headspace. In a good, faithful manner. how did it end did he fuck the pig um i don't know i don't remember i don't know i mean
yeah but like i wasn't in a good tasteful manner i'll explain to you guys to the pig i'll explain
to you guys after the episode of well i was not in a good headspace when i watched that episode
and i think you'll understand why when i explain off mic okay i'm excited to hear this
does it change things if you knew it was like a domesticated pig it's a kiss or fuck i don't think so okay still there's no on both it's a pig at the end of the
day david right you know that they're taking over at an alarming rate in the united states
worldwide really i've heard you know there's 40 quadrillion wild boars in texas that's so many
it's so many people are mad about this well don't don't have teenagers suck each other's toes ted
cruz weighed in what'd he have to say for himself she said not good he says child abuse which okay
child abuse that's what ted says how did the administration green yeah they fucking botched
this this had to go through a
few different levels of scrutiny and it passed all of them which is kind of kind of interesting
especially in oklahoma it's not your most uh it should have joint rolling competition
oh i would have gone poorly they do it all wrong that would have gone real bad i don't know you
think of the midwest as like a place where like values are still like
a thing and stuff and then this happens yeah can we talk about two whales fucking yeah
you guys familiar with this i i assume that this happens in nature frequently uh you would assume
that it happens frequently but they haven haven't really encountered this before, Dylan.
It turns out when humpback whales have sex,
they do it in the privacy of their own home.
What they do behind the scenes is their business.
Well, that's true.
But for the first time,
they've photographed some whales having sex,
some humpbacks.
Some whatbacks? And they're not doing it for reproductive purposes my friends these things are uh they're fucking and uh they're
they're both met and they're just fucking each other they're gay gay well yeah dude i stand i
support this i stand dude what's the problem i don't know how consensual this was for one of the whales so maybe one of them wasn't enjoying it was he swimming away it said the emaciated whale
eventually succumbed okay so he did enjoy it the healthier whale then held the other
whale in place with its pectoral fins and began to penetrate the other whale. This is getting disturbing.
Yeah.
What the fuck?
Sounds like sexual assault.
I don't know.
These are very large animals.
We'd have to talk about both parties,
I think, in that scenario.
Are these the actual whales?
I think they are.
There's no way.
Because that one looks...
I don't know, dude.
This is Shutterstock.
He's hitting it from the side.
That one's an old bag of bones.
Yeah.
This might be...
This might not be the same one.
I thought this was a fun story, like about two, you know, beautiful love.
It says he was emaciated.
Like maybe they'd been going at it for a long time.
He needed to get some water.
Maybe get some.
They've all been there.
Maybe get some steak in his system, like Davey boy.
Looks like he has very little time left.
Looks like an old ass whale.
Do you think the mind of a whale could comprehend red meat?
I don't.
I don't know.
Think about that.
Like, they've never had a perfectly cooked filet mignon.
The Chateau Brion?
I suppose.
If you've ever had it.
I haven't.
You don't understand.
Is it a travesty that we don't see more whales doing it?
Typically underwater.
You want to see more? I don don't know they're called humpbacks that's that is true they're just doing what they're
saying they're saying they do do you think that when they found out they were named humpback by
humans they were like really like we seem pretty badass with the humpback and the sperm whale why
are the names of whales so horny? I never thought about that.
Well, I mean – You got an answer for me, Danny?
Would you assume that like –
About to.
Would you assume that the – what do you call aquatic people?
Marine biologists?
Do you think the marine biologists at that time when they were naming these were like, you know, swashbuckling, you know –
Swashbuckling?
Yeah.
Maybe they were sailors
uh yeah sure they're just horny sailors who are like you know what we get to name these animals
we just discovered these ones over here are sperms these are humpbacks i could give you i could give
you an origin on some sperm okay would you like me to do that yeah how about you yeah i would love
some origin the name sperm whale r, comes from spermaceti.
Oh.
The horniest Italian guy ever.
No.
Spermaceti.
A waxy substance found in their heads.
Okay.
A what?
A waxy substance found in their heads.
In the 19th century, the whaling business became very prominent.
Inside their heads? Whalers mistook this oily white liquid.
Oh, they thought that this was sperm.
They just thought these whales that this was sperm.
They're wrong.
They just thought these whales were covered in sperm.
Yeah, and so they're like,
well, we're gonna call you that.
It's offensive.
They thought they had sperm in their heads?
Yeah, old sperm head looking ass.
In your head.
In your head.
I'm Cabeso.
Sperm.
Whale.
Whale.
I'm finished with. Sperm. Well. Well. Well. I'm finished with that part.
No.
You want me to keep going?
Do you think Sammy's has spermaceti on the menu?
Spermaceti.
Oh, my God.
You should have had it.
You should have been in there.
We had the spermaceti.
Retail therapy is not that far off of having to cover like sperm whale martinis or something.
That does not sound appealing at all.
They've got the Jacob Elordi bathwater cocktail.
Have you seen that?
Where can you find this?
There's like a bar in New York that's been serving it.
Is it like cloudy?
Yeah.
It actually sounds like a pretty tasty drink but like you know when you're egg whites
when you're sitting at a bar pretending to drink a famous man's sperm egg whites is in a lot of
cocktails yeah i know makes it frothy yeah it is yeah randy knows i haven't seen the movie what
can you explain like what the reference is to me? Have you actually not seen it?
No.
Murder on the Dance Floor?
I don't really know Heartache on the Dance Floor.
I mean, for context, David,
Jacob Elordi was having a goon session in his bathtub.
Solo?
Mm-hmm.
And then Barry Keoghan decided to clean it up.
Okay, that's cool.
Was he like the custodian?
The tub was draining.
Okay.
He got in there before it had fully drained.
And what did he like?
He did gross stuff.
He had like a pressure washer and just down the drain?
A little different.
Yeah, I didn't finish the scene.
Did he get like Drano and put it down the drain?
Yeah, just make sure the pipes were clear.
Oh, after the pipes are cleared.
It's a double pipe clearing.
I'm sorry to all of our new listeners.
Long key, is Barry Keoghan trying to take my crown as a siphon?
You just got Keoghan'd.
Damn it.
Is he the guy, the interesting looking fella?
There goes that dream.
Yeah, he is.
That's a great way to describe him
he has a unique look doesn't he yeah he's in the uh banshees he's that guy yeah yeah
yeah he looks interesting sure i don't mean what he has a unique look to me he shows his thing in
the movie you know oh he's hanging some dong oh yeah shows his
thing like the whole thing or just the whole prosthetic the whole thing it appears to be his
actual thing would you go prosthetic if you're in a movie i don't know maybe i wouldn't at this
point i don't think i think i'd just go out with it okay i feel like people would respect that
like damn would you bungee at first i don't know what
that means what is bungee like a bungee cord it's just a stretching exercise or two would i stretch
joke you gotta stretch i mean just like dylan's high school boy who was doing push-ups while he
was lubing himself up in the back like you gotta you gotta enlarge a little bit. Did he just lube the back or was he lubing his entire body?
His entire torso was lubed.
Did he go board shorts or not?
Tell us more about this high school.
You know he was going board shorts.
He dressed as a – this is problematic.
He dressed as a Native American, had a loincloth,
and he had arrows, like a little – what do you call it?
Quiver.
Quiver.
He pulled them out and went like this.
Like that.
Oh, yeah.
Let those delts pop.
The chicks just went wild for it.
Shouts to Adam, man.
Dude, the 80s were crazy.
That's pretty, we could get away with a lot.
Just a little appropriation, but for horny purposes.
Yeah.
Can you appropriate if it's horny?
No one minded.
Go ahead and answer that.
You're going to be a lot less called out if it's horny. It's true. answer that um you're gonna be a lot less you're gonna be a lot
less called out if it's horny it's true people are like man that wasn't cool but damn dude did
you see his shoulders he was jacked oh man yeah can we hear from our friends over at better help
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Hey, dude, your boy's in the news again, Dylan.
Which one?
Did you ever get your ticket to the thing?
I'm still saving up for it.
It's just a little bit over a million dollars.
Okay.
FF2?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So Firefest obviously didn't go that well the first time around.
And I would say that the Glasgow Willy Wonka exhibit didn't either.
But luckily, Billy McFarland has reached out and offered them a chance to undo their wrongs.
He's just trying to latch on to this viral story and get his name out there for some free pub.
Fucking Billy.
Have you seen all the videos from the people that were working it that have since come out yeah they've had their moment the
girl the girl is just like i honestly really just like keeping to myself and i just kind of like
helping kids like and now i'm just like the depressed looking oompa loompa who looks like
she's strung out yeah that's pretty accurate and like the photo that they took of her doing this
makes her look so much more unhappy and just like down than I think she actually was in the moment.
Billy McFarlane making a living as just being openly the guy that completely botched it is just a weird look for me.
He's doubling down.
It's comeback season though for Billy.
It's not comeback season.
I don't know.
Who's got a better chance of coming back?
Him or Johnny Football?
You got to think Billy McFarlane.
Johnny Football tweeting that.
What are you doing?
I haven't retired yet.
Who wants me?
I don't know.
Dude, you just talked about how much cocaine you did.
It was a different version of Johnny.
How old is he now?
He's probably 32.
Two?
Two, yeah.
Somewhere in there.
Right in his prime
age is not the issue with johnny the last time i saw him play football was in the canadian league
and i don't think it went that well i don't think he was that good last time i saw him was uh
whitefish dude it's true were you at trapper's place yeah we were trapped
trap was there he took the photo johnny's like don't tag me
this guy why would he not want you to tag he's weird he's pretty into social media did he actually
say that no he lies about his height he does he likes to claim that he's shorter than he is for
some reason he is not 5 10 he's not 5 11 he's certainly six feet he looks six two he's he's
at least six i need to be next to him.
I'm the barometer.
If you're taller than me.
I'm the height guy.
No, but no, I'm the barometer though.
If you put him next to me, we'll know immediately if he's six foot one or 5'11".
Fair enough.
He's comparable to KJ in that photo.
And KJ is very tall.
I feel like.
KJ is at least 6'2", right?
I think he's 6'2", yeah.
Very tall to me big man
if he's six two that makes you like five two no it's on photos no i just i think i have like a
little a case of the slumps when i'm sitting do you just like when you look at the video like
and you're looking do you just look at the video and think like oh that guy's five foot six because
he's so much smaller than kj he's gotta throw off. Or you think KJ is like seven feet tall.
Do I have like a short torso and longer?
I don't know.
I don't get it.
You have a short torso.
I have a short torso.
Oh, short torso boy over here.
This guy's all leg.
I'm all torso.
You don't meet many six foot dudes with 30 inch inseams.
You have the torso of a 6'4 guy.
Would you rather have a short torso upper torso or short
lower torso i'm high cut man so which one i really don't know if i have long legs or not i get i'm
just stand up what's your inseam dude uh 32 what's the frattiest inseam i say like four inches 420
for pants the most frat fit for pants would be 32 32 yeah that's that's what i wear
yeah and well and i'm frat you're mr frat certified but i think 32 32 is pretty frat
it's also probably the most common pant size there is
i think it always sold out even like even when i was at my heaviest like when i was like 200 i would still
wear 34s and now i'm like not 200 and i'm still wearing 34s like my waist is my waist at this
point nothing's happening here it's weird can you bust out that measure measuring thing and
measure me up right now you want me to no. Other than why'd you bring it up?
Hey, how is he, by the way,
how is he supposed to help them?
What is the help he's going to provide?
What are they just doing?
Are they going to run it back?
He's just scheming, man.
That's what he does.
He stinks.
He does stink.
Randy, can we put a graphic on the screen, please?
It's the unknown.
I'm assuming it's the one that you uh the one that i sent you before the
show yeah it's that one oh i hate i hate these kids dude i fucking love these kids i i have not
stopped looking at this photo these kids are just absolutely killing it can you imagine can you
imagine rolling up yeah this is at the uh manchester derby from yesterday uh manchester city hosted
manchester united after manchester united got off to a hot start on a beautiful goal
from Marcus Rashford, the rest of the game went the other way.
But at least we got this photo out of it.
I'm really bummed that the kid in the middle is wearing a hat
because I wanted 100% buy-in from each of these kids and their cuts.
When did kids from Alabama and kids from the uk start looking the exact same
dude this this is not just bama bangs though this is beyond this this is uh bama bangs uh
peaky blinders this is so bad this is these kids are gonna like approach you on the street and have
you empty empty your pockets and take all your trinkets i really hope by the time parks is like high school age that this hairstyle is no longer
popular because i i can't have him asking me for this haircut randy can you zoom in on the kid uh
bottom right his is the worst uh because this kid i can just tell it's going to grow up and be the
absolute biggest shithead you've ever seen. He looks like a bully.
Like, it's just, he's wearing, he's at the age that he's at, which I think it looks to be about 14.
Crushing his right hand.
Yeah.
How are you so bad at this, dude?
It's on Twitter.
You need a trackpad, my guy.
I'm just going to go ahead and save the image.
No, you open image in new tab.
Oh, my God.
What are you doing?
I can't, dude.
You need diamond hands.
What is wrong?
Paper hands, dude.
Dude, see.
Paper hands.
Gosh.
This is crazy.
Yeah, you can't do that shit.
Andy, come on.
How about that?
Oh, you finally got there.
Yeah.
I should have done this before.
I thought you wanted more of the tweets.
This is a very punchable group of guys.
Can I get this haircut instead of getting uh
the stuff shaved in the side of my head yes this makes them all look like penises the guy in the
the far back about the top his is his is also dude he's just catching a vibe right now how do they
get how do they get it to curl and turn up at the bottom they all have it he's a blow dryer do they get it to curl and turn up at the bottom? They all have it. They use a blow dryer.
Do they?
They have to.
And then – but they put in product and feather it at the front in order to make sure that it looks like that, right?
Because all of them have like this nice little feather to it.
Dude, imagine if you showed up one day and you had just completely just different – like a different haircut.
Like you would get shamed by the whole squad like when these guys go on vacation
do they like and if they put on a hat on vacation what do they do with their hair
they'd have like a tan line that goes beneath where the hat would sit because of their hair
coming down yeah they have to i hate it some terrible facial hair what if these kids just
walked in right now they'd roast us off the face of the earth for being old and chewy and lame okay these kids are probably drinking already did this start in the u.s or start over there
who's copying who i don't know i truly don't know i don't know where this came from it's the
shittiest haircut i don't think it's here i don't think kids here are still doing the bama bangs i
think even if you went to like it's all broccoli heads yeah this isn't bama bangs man this is like
ice cream troops these days.
Bama bangs is just straight across.
This is like hanging down to your eyebrows.
Dave, we got two kids about the same age.
Let's say they grow up.
They're 14 years old and they walk in.
He's like, dad, all my friends have this haircut.
Are you just being like, all right, if you want to do it, sure.
I'm going to let him do it because I'm going to be in the back of my head thinking,
do it while you can because I know your genetics, buddy.
You're not going to have too many opportunities in your 20s to rock this haircut.
So just go ahead and do it now.
Enjoy it.
Be a shithead.
Hang out with the mates.
What's sad is that in high school, you're kind of faced with having to assimilate in this scenario
because then you don't want to be the outlier in high school.
If you want girls, you have to go get what everyone else has.
The alternative for a kid in England who's losing his hair a little bit,
he has to just bick it and be the tough guy,
the tough English bruiser type.
Because you can't even try to do...
It's either have no
hair at all or have this there's no in between remember that video from a couple months ago when
the kid was like calling out his ops my ops he's like who are your ops mate you don't have any ops
i haven't seen that you have to look like wayne rooney or these guys
oh wayne rooney looks like shit. He's not looking great.
My goat is looking terrible lately.
He did get a...
I think he got a new
statue of himself
put out somewhere.
And so he got some hair transplants
before the ceremony.
Yeah.
He's already gotten hair transplants
like numerous times,
but like his hair is so much thicker
before the ceremony
that I was very impressed.
Good turnaround time, too.
Of course, the guy who tweeted this, his name is Callum.
Oh, they're all named Callum, dude.
Such a Brit name.
There's at least two Callums in this photo.
I guarantee it.
I'm guessing the dude with the hat is the coach.
He's a few years older.
Right?
He looks a little older, and he looks like,
yeah, I took these lads to a game.
You could tell me this is the Manchester City youth team
and I believe you.
Except for a couple of them.
No offense.
Not trying to fat shame 14-year-olds right now.
I'm just scrolling Callum's timeline now.
Dude, at least two of these guys.
It's just all pictures like this.
It's just all the fucking boys, dude.
Two of these kids will be on Love Island
and will be gone within a week. Yeah. Two of these kids will be on Love Island and will be gone within a week.
Yeah.
One of these kids will be on Casa Amor and tell people that he was on Love Island the entire season
until they realize that he was the dude who didn't speak in Casa Amor.
He's the dude who got no FaceTime.
Yeah.
They have one guy in their crew who has a buzz cut.
Dave, if you're entertaining watching this season of Love Island because you want to see Tom again,
because I know how much you love Tom, I got some news for you.
He doesn't speak. is that why he the last three episodes that i've
watched of love island where he's on it he has said maximum 10 words the entire time he just
doesn't speak you know i love tom but he's not known for his um his skills as an orator yeah
yeah he's not exactly the most personality driven feller
oi
alright mate empty you pool geets
let's get out of here
you gotta give him your trinkets Dylan
I'm not giving him my fucking trinkets
give him your trinkets
bye Give them your trinkets. Bye.