Circling Back - Alien Monoliths & Rating Will's Christmas Tree
Episode Date: November 30, 2020Too Much Dip's KJ Ellis fills in for Dillon Cheverere in a special post-Thanksgiving episode. Recapping This Thanksgiving in Fun, the monolith that surprised us all and disappeared all in the same wee...kend, Dillon's rating of Will's Christmas tree, The Fyre Fest of Colleges, and Brett's Breaking News. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (14:15) Recapping This Thanksgiving in Fun (38:08) RIP Alien Monolith (51:40) Dillon’s Rating of Will’s Christmas Tree (1:01:35) The Fyre Fest of Colleges (1:12:57) Brett’s Breaking News Miller High Life: Celebrate Responsibly, Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, WI. Headspace: www.headspace.com/circling (FREE one-month trial) MeUndies: www.meundies.com/circlingback (15% off!) Feetures: www.feetures.com (STELLA for $10 off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge
my name is will defreeze my right dave ruff so immediately before you hit record
brett brought up a 50 cent tweet so i went and looked at his account I don't follow him and it just kind of made me sad that
the Cyber Monday sale for G-Unit gear
is just, it just looks really sad
it makes sense
are people still buying G-Unit gear
in 2020?
if they are, they should take advantage of this 30% off
site wide sale
no coupon code necessary
look at this.
That's a well-done, he's got a good graphic designer.
He does.
He's got his own Ricky.
He does.
Neon is in.
I like it.
Listen to that voice.
Oh, we got a special guest in the studio today.
It's none other than KJ Ellis.
Oh, damn.
See how early I get introduced?
Yeah, you got, that was, I mean, I would say it was within a minute, but it was right around the minute mark. I respect, I appreciate that, Will. It's none other than KJ Ellis. Oh, damn. See how early I get introduced? Yeah, you got that. I mean, I would say it was
within a minute, but it was right around the minute mark.
I respect that. I appreciate that, Will. It's a good average.
Pleasure to be here. Dylan's out this morning.
He'll be back for too much dip this afternoon.
Scheduling conflicts.
All good, though. We got a deep roster.
Do you want us to call you KJ or your other name?
The name that you
actually forced us to call you. I'm worried of
which other name are're talking about.
MC.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
MC Ellis?
You know, KJ works.
Okay.
So not Mocha Clappuccino.
I feel like there's a line of decorum that circling back lives above.
There's not.
No, there's not.
I promise.
As a legacy brand.
The crux of what we do for a living are jokes about ejaculation in general conversation.
Okay.
So I don't know if we have any ground to stand on.
The funniest thing we do is ignore one of the co-hosts for as long as we can before we intro.
Do you guys want to do credit card roulette for Get Rich or Die Tryin' sneakers that are just White Air Force Ones with Get Rich or Die Tryin' on the side for $250?
I would not like to do that, no.
But we have to get them in Randy's size.
Yeah.
Like,
paws size.
Correct.
Oh, dog size, not human?
Yep.
I was going to say,
human only wears boots now.
Dude, that's expensive.
You've got to get four.
That's true.
Two pair.
Goodness.
I've always thought it'd be really inconvenient
to have to wear shoes as a dog, you know?
Wood floors, you know? Wood floors, you know.
Do they have left and right feet?
Is there a huge difference there?
That's a great question.
You've got the little claws on the inside and outside, right?
I don't know.
I think so.
Well, I mean, here's the real question.
How do dogs wear pants?
Am I right?
Oh, good question.
Is a dog a sandwich?
People are asking.
People are asking.
We also have the Magic Bullet in attendance today.
Hey, you guys.
Oh, that was my...
Radio bread.
Finger guns and all.
Radio bread.
Is in the building.
I'm just watching our Shopify live.
Oh, that's exciting.
That's all I've been doing.
Dude, it's like you're going to be looking at it like I look at Twitter.
It's just so addicting because you see people like pinning all over the place.
The real-time stats are very addicting.
It's ridiculous.
You can see where somebody – I mean, it gives you like down to their home, their living room.
That's correct.
I'm kidding.
What room are you buying a t-shirt in?
Yeah.
Shout out to the dude in Glasgow that bought some stuff, I think.
It's Glasgow.
I was going to say, is it not Glasgow?
I believe it's Glasgow.
What did I say, Gal?
I think I got corrected when we were there one time.
I got corrected on a few things when we were over there
by people that were kind of just insulting.
I get it.
Over there.
I can't even say rural.
How am I supposed to pronounce these other words?
Get out of here.
You're expecting a little bit too much.
Yeah.
I don't live here.
I'm from Austin where we pronounce things wrong all the time intentionally.
That's actually probably a compliment to you because you look like you could live there.
I don't know if I could.
You're not blimey enough?
I guess that's England.
Blimey.
What does blimey even mean?
I don't even know.
Pasty?
Yeah.
I am pasty.
I'm getting more tan living in Texas.
That's why you've got some olive to you.
I don't return back to the completely pale that I used to be.
I think I'm actually moving to a spot where my skin is just getting a little more tan all the time.
I kind of like it.
Me too.
You're no longer the Caucasian zombie.
No.
I have the constant tan line on my thighs now.
It never goes away.
Oh, it's,
you can still kind of see it
where my whoop band was.
Got a nice little one.
Rest in peace, man.
Sticky Bandits got it right.
Sticky Bandits did get it.
That's okay.
The good people at Whoop
are sending me a replacement.
Free of charge.
They're not even a sponsor,
and they're hooking it up. That's fantastic.
I hope this doesn't come off as rude.
They should absolutely not be sending
you one free of charge. Right. The warranty
has been voided. Yes.
No offense to you, but
them doing this is the greatest thing on Earth
for you. I had already chalked up, like,
well, $120, that'll be my gift
to myself this year.
Mexico.
Brett, we are doing a podcast.
Brett, you've got to turn off Shopify.
FYI, we are doing a podcast.
We were doing the –
Singing James Taylor, Mexico.
I like James Taylor, too.
I was trying to figure out the tie-in, and then I realized, oh, someone in Mexico just purchased an item.
Did he get canceled?
He didn't get canceled along with Van Morrison and Eric Clapton this weekend, did he?
Yeah.
Did they get canceled?
Rob Stewart got canceled as well.
Why did Rob get canceled?
I mean, Clapton deserved it.
Clapton has an aggressive past about wanting no outsiders, no immigrants, nobody of the non-English white skin.
This is a cancel cancel.
Oh, if you want to see the excerpt, I would recommend reading it.
And your views on some of his catalog may change.
You thought him doing Change the World with Babyface was really going to refresh his whole image?
It did for a little bit, admittedly.
Michael was a great movie, but it didn't last forever.
Van Morrison also on the Michael soundtrack.
Shit.
Some heaters.
I don't know why I know the Michael soundtrack so well, unfortunately.
The dance scene for Michael was top ten all time.
Just a hilarious scene to watch.
I'm still going to enjoy his Yardbirds catalog.
Fair.
Was it like a pull-up from a long time ago type of cancel?
Or was it like...
Also known as a Gary Player.
I don't know.
I can't speak to Eric Clapton's current feelings regarding race relations within the UK.
Unfortunately, what I can recall is his statement from then is stinging enough that I don't know if you can escape it now.
Got it.
He's evolved on the issue.
I think like all quote-unquote cancel culture things, it's like, even if he were to get
quote unquote canceled at this point, like, all right, well, they gave you 40 years.
Like, uh, you've made enough now.
They're just saying move on.
Yeah.
All right.
We're good.
Yeah.
He did.
I haven't listened to it yet, but he and Van Morrison did record a song about, about not
staying in their homes during COVID.
So if you want to put that heater on.
You realize you just lined up the rest of my day.
I'm going to look into this.
Because when you mentioned Rod Stewart, that's when you really got me.
I didn't mention Rod Stewart.
I was not familiar that Rod Stewart was also catching bulls.
In the replies, they were like, oh, well, don't look for Rod Stewart in this.
And I did not.
I heeded the advice.
I have some playlists that just kind of, I guess, just need to go away on my Spotify right now.
Unfortunately, big Rod Stewart guy.
I usually start off most playlists with a couple of Van Morrison songs.
So it's kind of been a tough pill to swallow.
Yeah, that's tough for you.
I was definitely what do you call it?
I don't know telling people how great
the R. Kelly recruitment
song of Passports
was this week so
you know I know he's more than
cancelled but it's
objectively
a fire ass song so
spend some time on your day looking up R. Kelly
Passports on YouTube
great song
I like he's not getting paid for the YouTube clicks on somebody else's videos so I don't care on your day looking up R. Kelly passports on YouTube. Great song.
I like...
He's not getting paid for the YouTube clicks on somebody else's videos, so I don't care.
True. The Chris Rock R. Kelly
bit is still one of my favorites.
Because, you know, the video...
This is like 15 years ago, and there's
the video, and Chris
Rock's like, tried to say it wasn't him,
and he's like, we know what you look like.
Yeah, like, it's kind of an objective thing.
It's just what you look like.
Should we get some programming notes out of the way before we go into this loaded episode?
Let's do it.
First and foremost, big news.
Washed Media Shop is live and it's well.
If you want to go to it, go to www.washedmedia.shop
If you go to our normal website,
there's also a link to it there, but
washedmedia.shop, free ship
will get you, what, free shipping
on just everything? Free shipping on everything, yeah.
You don't have to pay for shipping to use free ship.
Brett, how many items are in this store?
There are
200 and something items.
There are 700 iterations of different products. Shouts to
everybody who has visited the store already. It's been a lot of fun to watch what people like.
Yeah, we get that. Yeah. So it's all there. Hop on, see something you like, buy it for yourself,
for a friend, family member. I don't think we're going to be adding anything else to the shop between now and Christmas,
except for maybe some sweaters, correct?
Some sweaters and some potentially, if any overthoughts, I will get your opinions on
later on.
That being said, don't hesitate to order now and get your order in sooner than later because
it is the free shipping.
So if you see something later that you like, I don't see us taking away the free shipping
anytime soon,
at least before the holidays are over.
Yeah.
But go check it out.
There's a ton of stuff on here, guys.
Loaded.
There are many great designs.
Can I give a personal fave?
You can.
Yeah.
The washed media coffee with the little,
I don't know what you even call the thing that goes around.
The cardboard thing that just says washed on it. It's a sleeve, dude.
Sleeve.
That's it.
That thing is just very aesthetically pleasing.
Well, shouts to your boy, Will DeFreeze.
I didn't do much.
This was a very large production of our boy, Alfonso.
Oh, shout out, Alfonso.
And yeah, I just did some quick editing.
That's it.
That's all.
Didn't you do the writing part?
I mean, I used a font.
Oh. I thought that was your handwriting.
No.
I am
dipping into the
online illustration game right now.
Now that I got that new iPad
and that Apple Pencil, I've been doing a little
sketch. I sketched Rosie this week just to get a little
used to it. I have to say, it turned out pretty
damn well. I'm pretty happy with the results.
I would also say I heard some feedback from the listeners.
It was listener engagement week for me last week.
Really?
It's self-assigned.
But I'll say the feedback on the cropped hoodies, very positive.
Shouts to the Will Mommies.
Or daddies out there, too, that just have six-packs.
Exactly.
There was some jealousy on the daddy side of not having sweatpants that weren't in pastel colors.
But I was like, just ride with it.
Own it.
Go with it, dog.
I mean, you can do sea breeze.
That's all you.
And also, shout out to our customer service behind our shop, because we did have one listener out of Columbus, actually.
Which, you know, how we feel about Ohio around here.
Very strongly.
FreeShip didn't work for her initially. She sent them a message
and within minutes they were like, oh, fixed it.
Shouts to Jack.
Or whoever else is on the customer service team.
Major shouts.
Candles. Sunday Scaries candles are also
still available. VelaBox.com
slash Sunday Scaries. Go check those out. VelaBox.com slash Sunday Scaries.
Go check those out.
A big happy birthday to T-Man.
Wow.
You know I had to hit him with the T-Man in the official announcements of the day.
Play Bamba.
I mean, if you're not familiar with T-Man, get familiar.
He's just throwing up Bachelor tweets like they're going out of style.
He's flirting with must-follow bachelor territory.
Underscore Trevor Hughes underscore is the only gift that we can give him.
Give him the gift of a follow on his birthday.
Also, go follow Circling Back Pod.
Add me on the group.
Leave a review and five-star rating.
I actually pulled up a review.
Are you ready for this guy's review that he left us the other day?
It's Steve in Little Rock.
I believe Little Rock is in Arkansas.
I believe so.
Yeah.
Nailed it.
He says,
a truly dangerous podcast.
I don't suggest
listening at the gym.
I dropped the bar
on my chest
after busting up
laughing at Dylan's
suggestion that Randy
would rat to the Bachelorette
about dude's skid marks.
Yeah, that's a good one.
That's true.
Yeah.
Randy does put out
like skid mark
narc vibes.
Dude,
Claire,
have you heard? That's how Randy makes it
like six weeks in yeah you're like how is this dude still here I would pay so much money to just
have Randy on The Bachelor just for intro night the origami guy oh my god oh that's what he would
do he'd get oh yes he would do the fortune teller thing yes and it would be like the cootie catcher
thing with yeah I mean it always freaked me out how that thing worked.
Freaks me out even more that you can make it with a napkin.
Did you say you would roll up in Heelys?
Yeah, Randy said Heelys.
That's good.
I have bad news, though.
The Heelys situation on the sopping wet driveway is a recipe for you getting a concussion.
It's like cobblestone, too.
I mean, you would just be like.
Start drifting.
Yeah.
I mean, if you saw how those horses were going when they were trying to ride those horses yeah it's just not great but speaking of bachelor
wednesday episode this week on a uh patreon.com circling back podcast
i have no reason not to be excited for it you can get in for just five bucks on the bachelor
tier we also doing friday voicemails on friday of course uh five dollars to get you in the door
there or you can just get everything we've ever released on patreon for 10 bucks a month damn We're also doing Friday voicemails on Friday, of course. $5 to get you in the door there.
Or you can just get everything we've ever released on Patreon for $10 a month.
Damn.
If you're traveling and you've never dipped into the tiers, the optimized tiers or anything beyond the paywall, there is a lot of content there.
Evergreen content.
Good shit.
Oh, yeah.
The worst ofs from last year's, oh, man.
Yeah.
Spooky season.
Even when it's not spooky season, it's always spooky season.
Just peep it.
And as always, Twitch.
Twitch.tv slash watch media.
Our schedule's been a little messed up as of late, but we'll get back on it.
I promise you.
Should we recap this Thanksgiving and fun sponsored by Miller High Life?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sponsored by Miller High Life.
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If there's anything we can appreciate right around holidays,
it's the simple things in life, guys.
Especially these holidays during these uncertain times.
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I actually had a Miller High Life on Thanksgiving.
Very much enjoyed it.
I went through a six-pack.
I had a couple.
I had more than one.
It's a good time.
It compliments the turkey well. Yes. We're more than one. It's a good time. It compliments the turkey well.
Yes.
We're actually coming up on a major anniversary for them.
Really?
Because as you know, they were founded on New Year's Eve.
Right.
1903?
You got it, Brett.
1903.
Yep.
Their founder believed that everyone should enjoy the good life, which is why he created
the champagne of beers.
And what a time.
Champagne on New Year's Eve.
But it's like, hey, I don't want that headache the next day
because of this cheap champagne.
I'll take a Champagne of Beers, please.
Miller High Life, the Champagne of Beers, a quality beer within everyone's reach.
Celebrate responsibly.
Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
You know, usually Dylan starts us off, and I think we've got to throw it to the replacement today.
Oh, shit.
KJ.
This weekend in fun.
Or, oh, Thanksgiving in fun, right?
Yeah.
Oh shit. KJ. This weekend in fun or, Oh, Thanksgiving and fun, right? Yeah. Um,
for those who follow me on the gram at KJ Ellis ones is the L's they saw, I had an absolute marathon of a session on Wednesday. Um, you know, given the unparalleled in pertinent
unperpendicular times, uh, I did not do Thanksgiving with the whole fam at my house, but I usually do a bunch of the
cooking. So our audible was for me basically to still cook, drop food off of my mom's, drop food
off my dad's and some of my brother's. And, you know, that's what I did. I went to absolute work.
You saw quite a bit of this on meat smokers Smoked a turkey. Some of the things you probably didn't see, I did a smoked salmon
and made individual platters of that to give out.
A couple other items, but, yeah, rounded it up, dished it to the fam.
On Thursday morning, they were all happy.
They got to see Kai.
It was all good.
Big.
Yeah, hung out at the in-laws in their backyard for probably an hour or so
and got back home. Kai is your son for the folks at home yes aka the bromey that name may or may not
stick around for long but yeah i like the bromey uh but no yeah kai's my uh five-month-old son he's
absolutely awesome uh so you know apparently that's in these days um other than that what are you giggling
about right now kj what are you giggling about you know i'm just one of many with child uh anyhow
so yeah i dished out the food but what i also did dave dropped in as well i need to be better
about this plug in the discord the backers are absolutely wild on the discord oh they're wild
700 plus people in discord most people are familiar with the reddit or twitter follows
um discord's a little more complicated because you got to get a link to get in i did post one
uh in the reddit recently uh but hit me up on twitter if you need a link to join it because
that group is great they do their own happy. I jumped in on a couple of those.
Shouts, too, as I mentioned.
Alyssa in Ohio.
I think Sarah was there.
There's quite a few mommies in there.
But on top of that, I believe we had Craig's.
We had, damn, Jack, I want to say.
I'm going to get this wrong.
Somebody from the Bay, East Bay, and NorCal.
But at least 15 or 16 people I i hadn't interacted with so always a
good time check out the discord okay how do you it's hard to like get into the discord there's a
vetting process yeah again the invitation as opposed to just signing up on twitter and starting
to follow people you need a link and if i share that link out it expires every day so you know
hit me up ask for the link or find somebody and get the link.
But once you're in there, it's just a litany of discussion boards where people are quite wild.
They were horny for merch on Friday.
They were horny for merch.
Boy, yes.
Did I tease it enough?
Brett, I mean, I can't believe you're keeping your neck up
with the crown you've been wearing all week.
No, no, no.
I mean, literally. Oh, did you go to the dentist everything uh took everything oh randy randy get
the crown i thought you looked different wait did he really yeah you got some just the two incisors
if you're like the cool dentist you have to walk into every single one of your patients and just
say you drop this and then put it in their mouth right yes yeah i think that's the move 100 it's
just dentures man what. What else? Yeah.
So I didn't see the Smoked Salmon.
Yeah, I didn't post that.
The Flex was getting a little long all over the day.
There were about 10 different items I was working on.
What did you do like Saturday where you didn't like any dolphin in your backyard?
On the Sabbath, you rested.
Saturday was chill.
I was seriously beat to shit.
And hungover from the happy hour with the discorder.
So it was a chill sitch the rest of the weekend.
There you go.
I love it.
It's about the weekend in H-Town.
How'd that go?
The week-ish in H-Town.
It was awesome.
It's fantastic.
Had a great Thanksgiving at Caroline's parents' house.
Do you have your own toothbrush there yet?
Nope.
I bring my own.
But they have some if I needed one.
I love that.
Shouts to Glor.
We had a great turkey.
We had a deep fried turkey for the first time.
I still haven't had that.
Fantastic.
It's quite the process, like morning of.
But it turned out phenomenal.
Made my mac and cheese, my dad's recipe.
Unbelievable.
Love it.
We ran back the pimento cheese to have, you know, just kind of snacking on.
It was a great Thanksgiving.
Friday, Saturday, hung out.
We just kind of drank a lot.
As you do.
Actually, Friday was consumed with our store activities, honestly.
So I wasn't very social.
Grind boy shit.
I apologize.
But I was sitting at the kitchen table for 12 hours.
You should have just been pounding beers the entire time.
I was.
I was.
But I was very focused on getting that thing up.
And then Saturday we got some El Tiempo takeout.
Oh, damn.
How's it travel?
Fine.
Did you get a takeout because you wanted to use your own salsa?
Nope.
Nope.
Just checking.
Didn't have room in the bag for the gallon of pace.
Got to pace yourself, you know?
There it is.
Yeah, that was that.
Watched some football yesterday.
Watched the Broncos, you know, play without a quarterback.
You said you were suiting up.
Well, they couldn't get me out in time.
It was COVID. I would have had to quarantine. Yeah, that's true. They couldn't get me out in time. It was COVID.
I would have had to quarantine.
Yeah, that's true.
You could play two weeks maybe.
Yeah, yeah.
Who knows?
Absolutely.
So I'll let you know if I get that text.
I almost did shoot somebody a text.
You should have.
I was like, hey, how are you?
Happy Thanksgiving.
Need me to suit up tomorrow.
But I don't think Elway would have responded.
Name dropping. It's not funny that we're going to get
blown out tomorrow, Brett.
Yeah, it's
more on TMD for that.
David?
I just stole your job there, my bad.
No, you like it.
Aggressiveness.
I'm still in lethargic mode from the weekend.
Yeah, I kind of am too.
So, went back up to duncanville saw my parents
did a little thanksgiving there um still doing the traditional turkey which i'm fine with but
every year i'm always like man this is the year i'm gonna go get the frying stuff and we're gonna
do it uh my favorite part of thanksgiving is usually frank thanksgiving morning the uh the psas and
the videos of people dropping um frozen frozen turkeys into the deep fryer oil and the subsequent
just absolute nuke that it causes like that'll never i'll never you know get get old uh watching
those um pretty much laid low drink miller high life and uh a little bit of tuli at night and
played a little golf saturday with flounder and our buddy tims it's fun it was good came back
saturday uh traffic wasn't great it was a five-hour drive home with randy in the back
felt really bad for him we were um just kind of caught on 35 as people often are the worst
he was getting a little restless back there but he hung in there he's a trooper It wasn't bad for him. We were just kind of caught on 35, as people often are. The worst.
He was getting a little restless back there, but he hung in there.
He was a trooper.
Dogs don't like that stop and go.
No.
He was very uncomfortable.
And it's the worst.
He's like, who?
No.
Well, when he – yeah.
Usually when, like, he senses, like, a speed change or us, like, slowing down,
he'll, like, pop up to look and see, like, oh.
And he kept doing it in traffic i was like no dude we
just we just went 12 feet we're not we're not anywhere we're still in salado but he rides like
in the bed of your truck and like hops up on both sides of the truck like non-stop yeah yeah yeah
we've got a very safe truck i picked it up during truck month yeah sure yeah then uh you got a truck
no yeah that's sick you didn't see it out there no the double parked one oh that's
cool um yesterday man real low-key my back my i wasn't i was having back pain from uh the day
before from the drive so i was like i spent about an hour uh yesterday morning like trying out like
yoga stretches and stuff trying to loosen up some some tight, and it didn't work. It did not work.
I had to break down and take some Advil.
I did it.
Wow, dude.
I did it.
That must have been a tough pill to swallow.
It was.
I raw took it.
What do you even say when you raw take it?
That's not a thing.
No one's saying that.
Thanks.
When you raw take it?
Dry mouth it.
Yeah, you just dry it.
Not dry mouth.
Everyone knows that you and I are dry pill boys.
I hate that about you two.
Dude, it just takes so much effort to go fill a glass and then go back.
You just throw it in the lip like a pouch and then throw water in the mouth.
That might be worse.
I was about to say, if you're like gumming it, that's worse than what
they're doing. I gum it and
then take a sip of water and then...
You just chew them. Throw it back.
Brett's like one headache away from snorting it. Just chew that shit up and
swallow it. I chew my vitamins.
Remember Flynn's
vitamins? I did chew them. Yes, and they were bomb.
I don't know why I liked how they tasted
so much, but I did. Probably the sugar.
Yeah. Or a little bit of that. But they weren't that sugary, though. I feel like these gummy vitamins that how they tasted so much, but I did. Probably the sugar. Yeah.
Or a little bit of that. But they weren't that sugary, though.
I feel like these gummy vitamins that you're eating these days are much worse than the Flintstones.
Probably.
Those are candy.
Flintstones were still very chalky.
Yeah.
Oh, there are melatonin gummies out there that I'll just eat.
Some biotin gummies for the hair that are just covered in sugar.
There you go.
Shots to four hymns.
Makes it more bioavailable.
The Cialis gummies aren't that sweet.
Really?
Yes.
Until later.
Come on.
Yeah, I had a pretty standard Thanksgiving weekend.
On Thursday, we went out to Sally's parents' house, had a nice little dinner outside.
Wasn't expecting that.
I have to say, I kind of prefer Thanksgiving dinner outside now.
Agreed.
Sitting on a patio, we had a fire going. It was just great. Very much expecting that. I have to say, I kind of prefer Thanksgiving dinner outside now. Agreed. Sitting on a patio, we had a fire going.
It was just great.
Very much enjoyed that.
I did average five beers a day on this entire break.
I didn't go above the average ever.
I just drank five a day.
I don't know why I was wiling so hard.
Yeah, that's crazy.
Yeah.
Five a day.
Five a day.
That was my average for the break.
And I still somehow feel pretty good about it.
Consistent.
Friday, Klein and I went out and played Wolf Dancer.
We got paired up with a very nice guy.
You know how sometimes, whenever you get paired up with somebody and they're like,
hey, I was told to join your group, you kind of just like, you're bummed?
Yeah.
That lasted for about 10 seconds before we were like, wait, I think we might have just gotten a good person here.
Hell yeah.
We exchanged numbers at the end of the round.
It was that good.
We're going to be seeing more of this guy.
Hell yeah. That's awesome. We also made him subscribe to the end of the round. It was that good. We're going to be seeing more of this guy. Hell yeah.
We're going to be seeing more.
We also made him subscribe
to the podcast on the course.
So he wasn't a backer?
No, he wasn't a backer.
Okay.
No, he actually just recently
got off Instagram,
he told me.
I love that this dude
was just getting a solo round in
during the holidays.
Yeah, he said he had
some alone time,
so he wanted to go get out there.
And he was a member out there,
so he got some good intel
on some certain things
on the course.
Okay.
We're not talking about what we shot out there, but I think I would have shot probably seven strokes worse without him there just being like,
all right, put it along that tree line right there, blah, blah, blah.
You do need to know the course out there.
Dave and I have played it, and you're like, I don't know what to do here.
He also did something for us that was the single greatest move I've ever had with somebody who I got paired up with during a round.
Okay.
The single greatest move I've ever had was somebody who I got paired up with during a round.
When the cart girl came around on hole number three or four,
he bought six beers and just gave them to Klein and I as a thank you for allowing him to play with us.
Okay.
Six beers.
That's a move.
I love it.
I covered the next round, but, I mean, he wasn't drinking six beers to himself.
So it was a very, very, very enjoyable round at this random purse.
That's awesome. Good job to Colin.
It's one thing to get, you know, like one beer.
Like, hey, what do you guys want?
I'll get this one.
To stock you up for the round.
Clyde and I each ordered one beer, and then he tripled that.
And so we just had six.
It was just very wonderful.
And then Saturday was a perfectly rainy day in Austin, Texas,
to sit around and do absolutely nothing.
Nice.
You could catch your boys sitting on the couch.
I was watching a little television.
I was putting up the tree, which we'll get to in a little bit.
But overall, it was a very Christmas-fueled day of let's get set up.
There's nothing else to do on this rainy day.
Were you watching Tottenheim or whatever?
Tottenheim?
Yeah.
I did not watch any Tottenheim.
Actually, I did watch Tottenham.
Was that yesterday?
I think that was yesterday, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I watched a little bit of that. I did something I any Tottenham. Actually, I did watch Tottenham. Was that yesterday? I think that was yesterday, yeah. Oh, yeah. I watched a little bit of that.
I did something I've never done before.
I misjudged the time of a Manchester United game, and I slept completely through it yesterday.
Wow.
How'd that make you feel?
Not good.
Yeah.
Not good.
Might have something to do with those five beers.
Yeah.
Yeah, the five beers might not have helped.
Yeah, I've never done that before, and I was kind of bummed, but I did get a little F1 in.
Shouts to the safety crews out of the F1.
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
My lord.
I'll tell you what.
There's been a lot of talk about the Halo,
but the Halo really worked out here, Will.
I can be your Halo.
What is the Halo?
I don't know.
That was what Twitter was saying.
The Halo has caused some controversy over the last couple years.
I don't know what the halo is.
It's like a ring insertion thing, I think, that prevents
stuff.
Prevents you from burning alive.
Apparently, right?
I think it's actually, what it is, is not a
nuva ring, but the thing that
splits the eyes.
If you look at the cars, there's a...
It goes right down the center of your eyesight,
and then there's a halo that goes around the top of the car.
I don't know exactly what it does or how it saves people's lives,
but when you run directly into a wall and your car splits in half
and then immediately bursts into flames,
I think you've got to be pretty appreciative of that halo.
What was the driver's name?
Who was it again?
Romain Grosjean.
Yes, Grosjean.
Yeah, I couldn't pronounce it.
And he's okay and he's okay
other than some minor got some minor burns on the top of the hands outside of that they scanned him
twice no fractures crazy yeah crazy i just want to be the guy who's like no run it again yeah
scan him again unfortunately i'm glad he's okay it that did kind of ruin the race watching
experience for me because i didn't extend my dvr in. And so I didn't have any of the race on the actual recording.
So I didn't get to watch.
Did they continue the race?
Yeah.
And then within a couple laps after that, another guy flipped over.
It wasn't a high-speed flip over, and he was completely fine.
And it wasn't a dangerous thing, but it was like, okay,
well, the DVR is definitely not going to catch this now.
Did you all see this news that just came out about it?
No.
They figured out the cause of the crash.
He forgot to thaw his turkey.
Oh, what an idiot.
He's okay, though,
so we can, we can, we laugh.
Okay, good.
I know, I had some,
I had to clarify
in a couple text groups yesterday,
like, I'm only saying this
because he's fine,
but seeing all the different angles
of this is really cool.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, you don't want to watch
different angles if he dies, obviously.
No, no, no.
But seeing a crash of that grav...
What is... Oh, my God.
At that level. I can't fucking talk.
Magnitude? I need five beers in me.
Dude, I'm going to say...
But you were going to say gratitude.
I was going to say gravitude. I like that, too.
We can do that. It's a good Mayer song, too.
Chili Peppers album.
Gravit. It was a good mayor song, too. Chili Peppers album. Grab it.
Oh.
Grab it, too.
Vikings at the draft just couldn't get my card in quick enough with that line.
What was the star of everyone's Thanksgiving meal?
Aside from me?
Yeah.
Stuffing is the way.
It wins by a mile, usually.
And it won again this year, I would say.
Okay.
Actually, some in-laws, they do the pre-made order in from Eatsies, those in Dallas area.
Go off.
Get us Eatsies down here.
Go off.
They do the sides that way, and then they'll handle the mains.
There's talk, Dave.
So, you know, it's worth it.
It's not going to be anywhere near us, so don't get too excited.
Very good.
Okay.
Aside from my mac and cheese.
I was going to say you can't choose your mac and cheese, Brad.
Can we also take a quick second to say anyone who doesn't think that's a Thanksgiving food can get the fuck out of here?
I don't even want to go down that path.
Can I ask a question about it, though?
Yeah, sure.
If someone doesn't have it, it's not a glaring omission in my eyes.
No.
Okay.
No.
But it just shouldn't be to – nobody should rent it if it's on the table. glaring omission. No. It just shouldn't be.
Nobody should rent it if it's on the table.
You shouldn't get shamed. You shouldn't get shamed for having mac and cheese, but I also don't think you should get shamed
if you don't have it. You're definitely not asking, like,
who do you know here to the mac and cheese?
Yeah.
Uncle Mike sent over some
barbecue mashed
potatoes that
were, I'm trying to think of an example.
They had scallions, barbecue.
It tasted like pulled pork in mashed potato form.
And they were like – oh, it was sweet potatoes.
Barbecue sweet potatoes.
Unbelievably good.
I don't even know what he put in it.
It was paprika, barbecue, hot sauce, scallions.
Fantastic.
Damn.
No one was expecting you to say smoked sweet potatoes.
Yeah, it was unbelievably.
I had one picture in my head, and you painted an entirely different one.
What about you, Dave?
Ooh, man, is it boring if I say mashed potatoes?
No.
Mashed potatoes on Thanksgiving are different, man.
They just are.
I don't know what happened to our mashed potatoes this year, but they were extraordinary.
What type of...
Lay out the consistency for me here
because I think there's a wide variation.
We are not chunky.
We are not chunky folk.
Would baked potato be a move
on Thanksgiving or does it have to be mashed?
Nope.
That's fine. We had mashed. I love mashed.
Some people fuck with T-baked potatoes on Thanksgiving
and I don't hate that
if you are running
like a small
like six-item Thanksgiving.
But you can't put gravy on them.
I mean, you could put gravy on them
but like...
Nah.
I don't want gravy
on my cheesy twice-baked potatoes.
You're right, you're right.
So you're going with cream shit.
Oh yeah.
You bake them twice.
Are you like a mash...
You get the thing
and then you mash them around
twice inside it
so you basically just have mashed potatoes? Oh. You're loco. Are you like a mash? You get the thing and then you mash them around twice inside it so you basically just have mashed potatoes?
Oh.
You're loco.
I don't.
I know people that do that.
I don't know how Sally's mom did it, but she somehow made the turkey a talk of the dinner.
It was moist.
It was just wonderfully done.
She brined it for a very long time beforehand, and I think that's not something she had done.
But usually the turkey, as we've said, is kind of just, you know, no one's raving
about the turkey. It was actually in the conversation
of things that people were most excited about during this
dinner. So I have to go with the mashed potatoes.
They were absolutely phenomenal, but
the turkey somehow got a nod. It was very weird.
I gotta say our turkey was very moist.
Hashtag moist. It was good.
Good.
We did not brine.
I was a little worried.
I was like, we're seriously not brining?
You didn't fucking brine?
No.
Did you inject?
We don't talk about that publicly.
You don't have to tell me what's in the injection.
Will, real quick, what did you do on the par five, the elevated tee box par five?
I don't know. That's absurdly long and has bunkers like oh that
one uh i double bogeyed it brett thank you for asking um actually yeah i i hit a i hit my my
drive into the fairway so i was set up nicely yeah unfortunately i my three wood i thinned it
and i did and it hit the lip of a bunker and went in. And then I underestimated the height of the bunker with my club selection,
and I clipped the top of it, and it did one of those things where it gets out of the bunker,
but it flew about 25 yards past the bunker, which meant it was essentially a penalty stroke.
It's a small green, too.
So you one-balled double-boated?
Yes.
Dude, that second shot on that par five, you rarely have a flat lie.
Like, usually the ball is above or below your feet.
And there's so many bunkers, it's very intimidating.
And I hit, like, thin three woods almost every time.
It's terrible.
I was bringing my head up a lot.
Were you?
I felt like a bucking bronco out there.
Okay.
Did Klein piss on one?
Yes, Klein did some pissing.
Klein did some pissing. Yeah.
Klein did some pissing.
Okay.
The dude we played with was a scratch golfer, though, so we decided early on that maybe we should wait a little bit to maybe put some stakes on the game.
I see.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Not great.
Did y'all play tips?
Nope.
Brett and I were accidental tip boys.
Nope.
Accidental.
The guy that we played with was nice enough to say,
you guys go ahead and I'll be right behind you.
And it was clearly so that we would choose what tees to play for the entire time.
I see.
And it was a very good move by him.
Very good move.
I don't know if that was intentional, but it felt intentional.
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Dude, how about this monolith?
Uh,
I was bummed
when we didn't get a chance to talk about this
last week. Yes.
And now it appears
that the story of the monolith
in Utah has ended.
At least for now,
as it has been taken.
The aliens took it back, dude.
The Bureau of Land Management, Utah, BLM Utah, is how they are.
That's their at on Twitter.
They are leaning all the way into this.
This is their moment.
But they tweeted yesterday that they have received credible reports that the illegally
installed structure, which if you don't know, then you've not, you've not been very online,
but it's like a, what, 12 feet, 12 foot tall. Well, outside of the ground. Yeah. Just a,
just a monolith. It's got Space Odyssey vibes.
Nobody really knows how it got there.
This is all federal land, so somebody illegally put it in the ground there,
and they stumbled upon it by accident.
Anyway, BLM Utah is leaning all the way into it,
and they're even doing alien bits with it.
But, yeah, this thing is gone.
Someone's taken it.
Why does BLM Utah address their employees in North Korean military uniforms?
Is that a flight suit? It could be a flight suit, but I would have, you're right. I found it. Yeah.
They were in a helicopter. I don't know. It seems a little unnecessary. I mean, do, do,
do flight suits have like baseball hats? Sure. Something that bummed me out about this is that
it's, it's, it wasn't like just one giant solid piece ofmed me out about this is that it's it's it
wasn't like just one giant solid piece of whatever it was made out of what's it made out of aluminum
uh titanium alloy that's only found in well this has aluminum okay oh okay did somebody test it
yeah hard to say it's not magnetic they were three pieces riveted together that's what bummed me out
yeah this just been one if we had like a stonehenge situation where it was just heavy as hell and it was just stuck into the ground i i would have been
more pumped it has rivets too yes so it's not awful yeah that's no it's that's that takes aliens
out pretty quickly so you don't think they're using rivets out there i know how did it disappear
hard to say. Probably hollow.
My thing is, I see this and I immediately thought about how many crop circles were a thing growing up.
Like, they would pop up.
They'd be all over the news, all over magazines.
And then one day someone ruined, like, how crop circles were made.
Because you wouldn't see footsteps.
You wouldn't see any tire tracks because you would be in the middle of a wheat field or corn field or whatever.
And you would see a vehicle coming in and out in those tracks i was excited to have the return of you know fucking crop circles but we're a little too online these days so we killed this in like four
days yeah this didn't take long for everyone just to shit on it and like find it apparently it wasn't
even that hard to find if you if you knew where to go and you were driving.
GeoGuessr, I don't know if you guys are familiar with GeoGuessr.
Big fan of it.
It's a game where basically you utilize Google Maps and the ability to click around, move around on Google Maps, identify a random spot on the earth.
And you can play it just in certain states, countries, whatever. countries whatever someone on reddit on the geoguessr reddit basically started looking at
the erosion on the rocks like all these other little details to figure out okay where would
this be you know how this needs to be a flat area where you could land a helicopter it's this
direction and they found it in about 30 minutes which is rather quick yeah you've got to be
looking at some like extra specific details so Aviation Twitter just looked at the flight path of the helicopter.
And they're like, it stopped at one point.
In this area, yeah.
It was a part of it, too.
Where it circled multiple times, they were like, we're going to look there.
Was there any truth to the photo that came out?
It kind of looked like Dylan in hot dog form.
Yeah, I saw that.
I think from an angle, a certain angle it did. Yeah, I saw that. I think from an angle, a certain angle it did.
Yeah, I saw that and I was like, okay, things are just getting creepier and creepier.
I want this to be aliens, but like aliens aren't doing rivets and shit.
No.
If this was a solid piece.
They would have used element 115.
What Dave said.
Bob Lazar, look it up.
I still haven't gone down the Bob Lazar wormhole.
It's never too late.
It's still there.
Do the Bob Lazar documentary first, then Bob Lazar Rogan, then Survivor Man Rogan.
He talks about some...
The Netflix is a little corny.
That's...
Okay, I watched the trailer for it and I was like, no, I think I'm good.
It's because of that.
Do the Rogan. Okay. Yeah, the Netflix one, I was just like, it and I was like, no, I think I'm good. It's because of that. The Rogan dude, the Rogan.
Okay.
Yeah, the Netflix one, I was just like, I don't really know how into this I am.
It's because there's this really lame Jeremy dude or whatever.
Yeah, that dude's well-meaning, but like, chotch.
We had an intern at Grand X who introduced us to the term chotch bag.
Okay.
He would call everything chotch bag.
Shout out, Evan.
Yeah, it got to the point where we had to start removing the words chotch bag okay we call everything chotch bag shout out evan yeah it got to the point
where we had to start removing the words chotch bag from his columns yeah dude evan you've called
this guy chotch bag like six different times in this like 500 word thing here yeah we had to do
like ctrl f and replace it he's like you guys don't call people chotch bags like no no i mean
i've this was the same intern who would hand write notes instead of just taking notes on a laptop.
Unbelievable.
He would just hand David a handwritten note.
Oh, to like give to other people.
Dave asked him to like take notes on like, oh, like make a list of the columns that did well last week. And then all of a sudden he walks into his office with just a handwritten list.
No fucking way.
Love that.
You could have taken a screenshot.
What did you say?
He was a college kid, too.
He was significantly younger than me.
I would have been speechless.
He was an old soul.
He was.
He interned for us two summers, right?
Yeah, we brought him back.
And then summer two, he decided to grow a goatee.
Pretty much, yeah, if we liked having you around, we'd bring you in no matter if you hand wrote your notes.
No, to be honest, having an intern that hand writes things was better for content
than having an intern
that was like very efficient at their job.
Yeah.
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah.
Like that company
was not run on efficiency normally.
So it would have been weird
if we had an intern.
I think we actually had an intern quit once
because she said she was overqualified.
Probably.
Just straight up was like,
I mean, I can't.
Took her a week.
She's like, yeah, i think i'm too good for
this place you know exactly who i'm talking about yep and like oh yeah yeah i wish dylan was here
to tell she wasn't our intern no she was i think she was his yeah she was like dylan's intern
i'm too good at this and she just she just stopped showing up yeah and then we saw her at a
working well never mind.
We've interacted with her awkwardly.
Yeah, we've seen her.
She doesn't like to make eye contact with us if she sees us in public.
Let's put it that way.
She just doesn't – not in like a weird way, but it's just like –
I think everyone's ashamed of how this situation ended.
The super recognizer didn't recognize her.
Come on, Dylan.
He is –
Couldn't tell how tall she was, didn't know who it was. Didn't recognize her come on dylan he is he couldn't tell how tall she was didn't
know it was it didn't didn't rate her christmas tree looking at her resume i remember looking
at her resume after being like you know what i think she was right i think she was too good for
us yeah she should be somewhere else did she put the monolith there you got to think this is some
sort of um art demonstration right like we're going to find out in a decade that this was some up and coming artist.
Did Banksy claim it yet?
No, I realized that not everybody is all in on Banksy.
I learned that through this monolith.
Just because I saw Banksy, like people like talking about it.
And then naturally that goes into people talking about reasons why you shouldn't like Banksy.
And I was like, whoa, I didn't know.
I thought everybody was just team Banksy.
What was their reasoning?
He did some art in some low-income areas of England, of London, I think.
And some people didn't like the way he handled it.
I don't know.
It was like a whole deal.
Okay.
That's not really doing it justice, but...
Sounds mental.
Something like that.
It was mental.
Mental is the only thing I could think of.
Fucking mental.
Banksy bruv.
Oi. Oi.
Oi,
oi.
I don't really have much more on this monolith,
to be honest.
I,
I was very excited to see this.
And then once it started getting like debunked and it came,
I thought it was in the middle of straight up nowhere.
But apparently if you're,
if you're camping in the area,
it's like a 10 minute journey to go find it.
Yeah.
But it's just very hidden.
That's fair.
Yeah.
I just wish it would have stuck around a little bit longer.
We were too quick to kill it.
Like most things.
It's a great move by the Utah tourism board.
Yeah.
If it's planted there,
I mean.
So here's what happens.
This thing shows up two years from now somewhere else.
Like this will like end up like in Mongolia or something.
And then people,
and it's going to be the same people, but, and you're also going to see hoaxes because these things aren't hard to build
i don't think i mean there's rivets for god's sakes what you know how to fucking build a rivet
dave i'll show you a rivet rivet rivet nice oh wow i was really do animal noises kj rosy direction
okay i don't know man this whole thing was riveting, though, to say the least.
Quite.
Quite.
Randy kind of liked it.
Yeah, I know.
If Randy's laughing very hard at these jokes, we probably should move on.
I know.
When Randy really laughs at one of my jokes, I never know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
He did it earlier, and no one else at the table laughed, and he was just cracking up behind that computer screen.
Whatever. So the guy next to us is just cracking up behind that computer screen. Whatever.
So the guy next to us is just listening.
He's on hold right now.
Yeah.
He's listening to it at full volume.
Very distracted music.
He caught me off guard.
Yeah.
It's very confusing right now.
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Take off your pants.
I won't.
You know, that motto, work softer, not harder.
You get a couple drinks of me, that won't be a problem.
Let me just say that right now.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
These guys are doing it all.
They have micromodal stuff. Some companies are doing it all. They have micro modal stuff.
Some companies are out there just doing modal.
Dude, can you imagine?
Modal is too damn big these days.
No, it's huge.
I've always thought that.
It was something I never wanted to admit to people or say.
But the more I think about it, regular modal?
No, thank you.
Impostors will do mini modal.
More of a micro boy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
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I woke up in beast modal.
There you go. There you go.
I like it.
Problem-free philosophy.
That's Hakuna Matata, like Hakuna Meandis.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's kind of ruthless for them to put that in an ad copy,
because that's a mouthful.
Problem-free philosophy.
Yeah, that's like something you warm up with before a news broadcast.
Did you ever have to do those?
Like, were you ever in, like, plays or anything, theater? The morning announcements, yeah. Oh, shit. You do those? Like were you ever in like plays or anything?
Theater?
The morning announcements, yeah.
Oh, shit.
You did that?
You did the morning announcements?
Really?
Yeah.
I'm embarrassed by my morning announcement career.
I don't think I can do that on my birthday.
Did you like intro with Rage Against the Machine and then get kicked off or something?
No, but you're not completely far off.
So seventh grade, they did the morning before school for the class to start.
They had the little show.
And they let me do some bits and i i one time i did the um i did i said this thing and then i looked over and there was like a a duck or a swan and i quoted uh billy madison and i said
stop looking at me swan and it went over everybody loved it you know you could hear people in the
streets cheering.
And then I ran it back like a week later and I did the exact same thing.
And like,
I got back to the classroom after I was done,
you know,
and like the dude next to me,
his name was Eddie.
He was like,
man,
you did it one too many times.
He's like,
he's like,
dude,
you got to switch it up,
man.
Yeah,
you're right.
You should have quoted something else.
Yeah.
Another, another Adam Sandler classic.
Just movie quotes.
That's all I had.
I like bits on the morning announcements, though.
We just had a script.
We had to stay on script.
They suspended a teacher, a football coach.
Shocker.
He was doing a recap of the A-teams game the night before,
and he said,
we were chanting Gato on the
sidelines, which if you don't know means
get after that ass.
And they suspended him.
Dude, it's not that
big of a deal. Yeah, big deal. He said ass.
Whatever. I wish
Dylan was here for this next segment, but unfortunately
he's not. But honestly, it might
make this easier.
I did something this weekend, guys.
I talked about it during this weekend.
Yeah, you did.
I put up a Christmas tree.
And I did this Christmas tree with the intention of being able to have my first ever Dylan rating.
I've never had a Christmas tree in Austin, Texas before.
A Christmas tree of my own.
Right.
Let's put it that way.
But because it's Sally and my first Christmas together as a married couple, we decided, you know what?
Let's go all in. Sally's been
planting this tree out for a really long time.
We don't have a lot of room in our apartment.
You've been there, David. It's not
big. It's not big. It's not
small, though. It's not small, but we just
got stuff in there. To have a Christmas tree and a
Peloton. It's tough. It's asking a lot.
It's tough. We had to put the Christmas tree in the old Peloton
spot. Oh, damn. It's okay. The Peloton's just fine. The Peli got cut. No, the. It's asking a lot. It's tough. We had to put the Christmas tree in the old Peloton spot. Oh, damn.
Yeah.
It's okay.
The Peloton story was fine.
Where'd you put the Peli?
Peli got cut.
No, the Peli's good now.
Okay.
Peli's good now.
Okay.
And so I tossed my tree up, and I had some high hopes for it.
I thought it was a decent picture.
We had Rosie in it.
I definitely didn't tell Rosie to pose there.
Just kidding.
Yes, I did.
And when I put my tree up, I kind of looked at Dylan's ratings for other trees before it to just know what to expect.
And in my head, I was like, man, I feel like I get an 8.1 out of this.
And Randy, if you want to put the graphic up of my tree alongside the tree that he had rated previously, I have to say I feel like I was wrong.
My tree got a 7.1 from Dylan with really no explanation as to why.
Sure.
And the tree next to it received a, I believe, a 7.1 from Dylan with really no explanation as to why. And the tree next to it received, I believe, a 7.9.
Was he going out of his way to not play favorites?
I don't know.
I still am not happy with the rating that he gave his tree, which was a 7.8.
And his tree is objectively better than the tree that he gave a 7.9 to.
That was his kid's mom's tree.
You're saying Dylan's tree was.
Yeah.
You're saying there might have been some under the table stuff going on.
I just don't get it.
Some cash exchanged.
It seems unnecessary for Dylan to come at me like this.
He did say there was a mommy curve, right?
No, a mom curve.
Not mommy curve.
So I think there's a difference.
What's a mom curve?
I think he was saying because a mom was involved here that he was going to,
and he was open about it in his defense, I believe,
that there's an additional little bump or, you know, you're graded on a little higher scale than maybe your boys are.
Got it.
But Dylan's all about, he's all about having, you know, those ornaments on your tree that are meaningful,
that are nice, that have a history to it, that maybe you have a sentimental connection with.
And this tree has a thing on it that just says, I'm like a candy cane.
Sweet and twisted.
That's a Nelly Furtado song.
Like, what are you doing?
Like, you can't have a sweet and twisted joke on your tree and then rate it higher than
mine.
Real big into corn tours.
There's people out here claiming fake presents under the tree.
Why would you wrap fake presents under a tree?
It is a uniquely square present though.
That's a box.
It's an air fryer.
It's a box.
Is that an air fryer?
It might be an air fryer.
No, we already have an air fryer.
You got two.
All right.
So to be clear here, seven, one is what you received.
Yes.
And, uh, the lovely mother of the listener received a seven, nine.
And the lovely mother of the listener received a 7.9.
David Brett, would you like to revisit these ratings at all? Here's the thing.
I think, and I hate the other tree, not Will's tree, because it has a champagne bottle top to it.
I don't know what's going on there.
Will Street because it has like a champagne bottle top to it.
I don't know what's going on there. I don't like the torn up tablecloth that they appear to use as ribbon from a seven-year-old's birthday party.
Damn, dude.
Oh, wow.
But that being said, it does have more red and more white coloring than Will's does, which appears to only have ornaments on it.
Am I right?
You're correct.
You're correct.
We decided to go against any additional flair.
We didn't need any additional flair this year.
What upsets me is that after going through Dylan's entire grading process,
I found that I have received the third lowest rating that he's given out this year.
Oh, my gosh.
Wow.
See, I'm not even going to submit mine.
No, you have to.
You absolutely have to.
I think you have to.
Every single person in this room that puts up a tree has to submit their tree.
Let me tell you what jumps off the...
Go ahead, Kenji.
I'll just straight up say I'll set the bar as low as need be because I don't have tree
up with the exception of a small, irides like mimic tree that we're just using because we're not gonna do christmas day
at our house so i will post mine just to make sure the bar is set i appreciate that kj you're
all about transparency you know i have some thoughts on these two trees but i'll defer to
david here well the one thing that jumps out at me is when i'm looking at your tree versus this tree yours is filled out and i can't see through
it this one has some gaps that i can see through it and then just that kind of that's the only
issue i have i don't mind the ornaments like not having sentimental value because is there anybody
who really has like 50 christmas ornaments and every one of them has like a story behind it?
Apparently Dylan.
What we did,
what we did was we went back in time and we decided to just buy some things
that were sentimental to us in that sense.
I will say that like,
took the monolith back in time.
Someone's like,
Oh,
you bought that.
You bought that England,
uh,
like whatever it is.
Yeah.
A big bend thing.
You didn't get that over there.
It's like, no, you're right.
I didn't travel back on an eight-hour flight with a Christmas ornament that I was going to have to protect the entire time.
Yeah.
Dipshit.
But the hat, you did travel back four hours and then protect it the whole time.
So that hat is from Aspen.
The reason we put a hat on top of it is because our star or our topper, I don't even know what kind of topper she got yet.
It hasn't come in yet.
But I wasn't about to put my tree up and not send it in.
I am waiting on our topper before I take the photo.
The people on the right also screwed themselves because you don't take a Christmas tree pic during the day.
No, you can't. You Christmas tree pick during the day.
No.
You have to wait.
That's a great point.
They should have been hired.
They would have gotten hired if they just had waited until the sun went down.
Because you get glow season like you did.
You have a great glow.
Everyone knows when the sun goes down, we'll be grooving.
Dude, maybe that's why you can see through it, man. Yeah, see.
I think that's part of the problem.
That's why you can see through it, man.
Yeah, see.
I think that's part of the problem.
The other problem is, I mean, as someone who's terrible at wrapping gifts themselves,
like I have a high amount of respect for you guys wrapping that large box that way.
But throwing two gift bags under the tree at this point in the season, let's just go no gifts at this point until we've got something serious to put down.
If there are any kids in that house, they're going to go through those gift bags
the second you leave for the grocery store.
You don't do gift bags until the day of now i want to argue both in your defense
and walk the thin line of not upsetting your wife or you my wife uh i i believe that dylan's gamed
you into uh some of the decisions that have been made here and i feel like it sets you up to fail
there's been slander about tinsel there's you up to fail. There's been slander about tinsel.
There's been slander about ribbon.
There's been slander about standard bulb ornaments.
And I think when tastefully done, all of those things have a place.
I think because Dylan's scale trademark has told people that, hey, these are why I favorite these things.
It's got you playing to this tester, and I don't think he realizes maybe that's not all that matters.
Can I give what I think my tree should have gotten,
just for the full sake of transparency here?
I was hoping, hoping for an 8.2.
I wasn't hoping for a 9 because that would have been a perfect score
given the fake tree on Dylan's scale.
But I was hoping for an 8.2.
To get a 7.1, I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't thinking about having five more beers after that.
I don't know if I'm going to give you an 8.2, but I'd give you high 7s.
You're flirting with 8.
Yeah, you're flirting with 8.
That's fine.
I said I was hopeful for an 8.2.
You're getting bumped up.
Can I give you like a 7.88? 7.88? No, we're not doing hundreds I said I was hopeful for an 8.2. You're getting bumped up. Can I give you like a 7.88?
7.88?
No.
We're not doing hundreds here.
Okay.
I was going to go 7.4, but I think that's because of my personal preference.
You've got to be able to throw... You throw a ribbon or a tinsel in there, which again-
Or a rope.
Fucking popcorn rope.
I don't know.
What is popcorn rope?
We were doing throwing rope jokes.
You get thread, and you string a you get uh you get thread and you
string a shit ton of popcorn together and you decorate with that i'll tell you this it's not
working we do that animal yeah i was gonna say rosie's already looking to take this thing down
so i i don't know if a popcorn rope is a move here yeah i just feel like it's missing something
tying together objectively all of the ornaments are badass and i even like the tree topper as is
thank you i don't know that i would replace it i might throw a bow on it but that's just me tying together. Objectively, all of the ornaments are badass. And I even like the tree topper as is. Thank you.
I don't know that I would replace it.
I might throw a bow on it.
But that's just me.
Throw some bows in the bitch.
Yeah.
I don't think.
I like it.
It is what it is.
Thank you.
As long as we have approval.
If we're doing the gladiator scale, as long as I get a thumbs up, I'm happy.
The tree's good. The tree's good. If we're doing the gladiator scale, as long as I get a thumbs up, I'm happy.
The tree's good.
The tree's good.
You have a very prominent Texas flag in there that is tastefully done.
Yeah.
We have two Texas ornaments, and people are coming at us saying that Texas isn't a personality trait.
Like, yeah, I know that.
I mean.
I got two Michigan ornaments. Nobody said these need to be personality traits.
Something that matters to you and, you know, obviously is a big moment in your life.
He loves Dairy Queen.
We do have a Wilmont's. you do need an upside down blizzard
we do have a wilmont's uh ornament that we had to super glue together because it's too big dude
santa chilling underneath a tiki umbrella we gotta get a a dip uh a dippy a dippy ornament
a dippy ornament 2021 a dippy topper yep i was told the christmas ornaments for whatever reason
take an astronomical amount of time.
Probably because they need to be constructed and molded in China.
That's mostly what it is.
It's not going to be easy.
Should we talk about this you experience?
It's all about the you.
I think it's a different you.
Oh.
It's been called the fire fest of college, right?
Yes.
Here's the deal.
One semester, January through April, at Lake Texoma, which I don't know where it is.
It's north of Dallas somewhere.
North of Dallas, about 20 minutes from Oklahoma.
They rented out the Tanglewood Resort.
It's a reservoir.
And here's what you do. You do your online classes for another institution from the resort with a bunch of other people who have tested negative for COVID.
150 of them to be exact.
And it costs $10,000 before your meal plan.
So what you're doing is that you're paying tuition.
You're paying double tuition because you're already taking online classes wherever you're going to college, correct?
Yeah.
So then you're doubling up that tuition and making it even worse on yourself by going to a, no offense to Texas, but like a Texas resort.
But you also aren't spending on room and board wherever you're attending school.
Like you don't have an apartment, theoretically.
Fair.
Fair.
And your parents are getting you out of the house.
I have to admit, this is either a really, really good idea or just a terrible idea.
This could have gone a different way had I not seen the hype video.
I might think this is a good idea.
But the video that they put together that has a song that know, a song that the chain smokers rejected blaring in the background and then just like good looking people being like they don't even look like they're in the age demographic.
No, it's like it's like when we would post a TFM girl when back at Grand X and instead of actually being like it would say like, oh, she goes to Arizona State.
And it's like, does she go to Arizona State?
She looks like she's like 26.
She drove through there once.
Yeah.
It's like, I don't know if she actually goes here right now.
If you want to meet the team, you can on their website.
The founders, Lane Russell, a 2018 Princeton grad in economics and Ivy League champion in track and field.
He was an equity derivatives trader at Goldman Sachs before leaving to co-found a YC company I mean you see this bit on Shark Tank all the time like
don't get me wrong it matters but it has nothing to do with the quality of this idea that you're
a Princeton grad I like that they're pulling it off that they didn't shoot too high they didn't
oversell with their sizzle reel.
They showed you the meat.
It's all there.
I did see some Vegas resorts trying to entice people to do a similar thing like this, work from home from Vegas early on in the teen, but it just didn't catch on.
The other guy, Adam Bragg, also a Princeton grad.
This is my favorite.
His interests include real estate, technology, and how the creative restructuring of incentives can yield positive sum outcomes.
That's also an interest of mine as well.
That dude sucks.
Those are his interests.
He sucks.
Yeah, I just don't understand.
What does that even mean?
I mean, do I need to...
It pretty much lays it out there.
Positive sum outcomes.
Yeah, but you're yielding it through the restructuring of incentives.
That's way too many words for a Bumble profile.
For me, it's more about the income than the outcome.
You know what I mean?
Oh.
Nice.
Kids are going to do this.
This is going to be sold out, out and it's gonna be a nightmare well i think they literally did what fire fest did and they hired actual models to
do the promotional videos for it who aren't actually going to be there there's no way that
those girls in the video are going to be there but they were good looking enough that like it
probably got one of us thinking like i don't know yeah that's the problem you you need some real
legitimate yelp review type respondents
like of actual boots on the ground,
people who are already there.
Although I imagine it's kind of like a wedding block
where if they don't get 200 attendees
that their reservation of the resort
is probably null and void.
So they've got to pre-sell all of this.
I'm glad you asked about the reviews.
The resort, three out of five.
Dude, it's Texoma.
It's like a border reservoir.
And it's a fun spring break.
Probably spring bake.
I should just give up on the joke.
So close.
Got that.
It's not like, what's the one here in Marble Falls?
Horsehead?
It's not Horseshoe Bay.
Horseshoe Bay.
Horsehead.
It is.
Or something.
It is very close to Choctaw.
That's Godfather.
They were playing Godfather on TV a lot this weekend.
There's a casino nearby.
Yeah, Tony Peebles.
You know, again, I think it's worth, I respect the grift.
How about that? But am I going, meh i going you know throw a post-grad up so i found their uh instagram and they've got student profiles
and i'm looking at sumners home state missouri college ut um there's a reason they've showcased Sumner. I'll just leave it at that.
Got it.
Okay.
How many of them?
One reason?
You know, this is unbelievable.
This is unbelievable.
This is just hot people only school.
Sumner.
Sumner.
This is hot people only.
My issue with this is that, or an issue I have with this is that it's only 150 people.
They did list the number?
Okay.
Yeah.
That's not enough to get me in the door.
I don't know.
You're not going to recreate a cool experience.
Like you may get nasty yourself one day at the pool after too many vizzies and all of a sudden – Yeah.
Like you're the asshole who's paying $10,000 for a semester to just go live at a resort with 149 different people who think that you're a mess.
Do they have scholarship funding or student aid available?
Can I get a Pell Grant?
Are you filling out your FAFSA for the experience?
Yeah, hard to say.
They need to talk to their student aid department.
I think that the problem with the 150 people to me is, you know, and I've got to do this properly while sitting in this chair, is that, you know, let's say you run through your food budget for the semester a little early.
Like, are you going to have enough people to go through and ask whether or not they got any swipes?
I don't know.
Got any swipes?
I don't know.
There's going to be some swipes. It's weird that Sumner only has 149,000 Instagram followers.
Who would have thought?
Yeah.
Does she?
There's a-
And zero pictures from the University of Texas.
A need-based scholarship fund has been created.
Well, I got needs, bae.
That's bad.
Oh, I found Sumner's Instagram, too.
I got to get off of this.
Yep.
Delete the internet history.
Phrasing?
Did you guys know it's like an application, like peer-reviewed?
Like the kids who are going vote on who else gets to go?
Love that.
Popularity contest.
Hell yes.
That's back to it as well?
Yeah.
Oh, man.
If you get like the checkmark,
you're going, you did a say in who else
comes. Sumner's going to get...
Let's not talk about Sumner.
Some girl from this is going to get
flown to Barbados with some sugar daddy
at some point and bring back COVID
and then all of a sudden this place is going to get shut down.
That's how this ends.
Yeah. This place is not
COVID-proof.
If you have the money to actually do this, you have the money to go do other shit, too.
Dude, they have a very stringent, like, if you leave, you're out.
Okay.
So if you're hitting up Choctaw, like, all right.
No, the boys are going to Choctaw.
Let's just say outside of the quarantine situation, like, if you were offered a college experience that had nothing to do with your school,
like you were taking whatever classes still like,
would you have been interested in mixing it up somewhere else?
Like as a,
like a general,
it's like a,
we work for colleges basically.
Correct.
Only if my pledge bros were there,
not leaving them.
Dude,
they're like family.
Yeah.
Get the whole squad.
Does frat Dave drop the bag for this yeah he does then he leaves after two days and doesn't get his
like deposit back it's like whatever not my money dude fuck it okay i don't get my dad owns this
place that's that's what they should do i could buy this place they should solicit uh like the
national chapters of fraternities or sororities and be like, okay, here's the KA actual lodge
out on a lake, and you can come do
your classes from here at the national lodge.
Are there fraternities that are doing that that
would just go rent out a giant
compound and do it? I feel like that would be a good use
of funds. It only takes one sorority
to pair up with them to do it, to
convince everybody around the country to do it.
Boom.
It's like the SEC breaking off.
See, look at that.
We're not even Princeton grads and we thought of that.
There you go.
Apparently the meal plan, there's a bar and a restaurant on campus,
but the meal plan is just people buying groceries for you for three grand
for the semester.
It's the three meals a day meal plan.
Oh, no.
So when I'm asking for like bone-in ribeyes and shit, like a dime.
They're just like, no, you have like.
Yeah, prime, hoss. Well, you can get it, but you've got to cook it on a fucking like meal plan. Oh, no. So when I'm asking for bone-in ribeyes and shit, they're just like, no, you have prime, hoss.
Well, you can get it, but you've got to cook it on a fucking hot plate.
Foreman grill.
You can just microwave it like Dylan.
It's here.
Yeah, you can.
Man.
Let's talk about features real quick.
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We've gotten a bunch of these in the mail.
Not going to lie, wore a pair golfing the other day.
I wear a pair pretty much every time I go golfing at this point because they've got some socks that are just perfect for it.
These things are comfortable.
They're not too thick, which is what I appreciate, but they're also not too thin.
No, they're perfect.
I normally don't sleep in socks.
I recently fell asleep in them while wearing them, as you might know.
And I woke up the next morning, and I did not have hot foot.
That's actually amazing.
Is that not nuts?
It's nuts.
Because that's a problem with me.
I don't like that feeling, but the features, man, they're perfect.
They breathe.
Dude, these things are great.
Runners around the world have loved these for years,
but they're not just for runners anymore.
Just like I said, these are elite golf socks.
That will give any golfer on your list the thing that they really want,
and that's an edge on the links.
If you love edge on the links.
Love edge.
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They've even got zone-specific compression for targeted support.
No slipping, bunching, or sliding.
And an anatomical design that conforms to left and right feet for a molded fit that prevents blisters.
Not a blisty boy.
No.
They've got these little tabs on the back of the lower socks that just pretty much says, like,
Hey, oh, you have new shoes on?
You're not getting blisters from these things.
We got you covered.
I've never had one of these things slip.
No.
You got a bunch of different styles to choose from.
They got no-shows to knee-highs, ultra-light knit to maximum cushion
with designs tailored for everyday wear, athletic performance, and extra support.
They also have a lifetime guarantee.
It's a guarantee that lasts a lifetime.
Huge.
Mm-hmm.
You can get $10 off your first pair of features just in time for the holidays.
Use promo code Stella.
That's the name of Dylan's dog.
Yeah.
Use promo code Stella at features.com for $10 off your first pair.
That's F-E-E-T-U-R-E-S.com.
Promo code Stella.
Brett, you got any breaking news for us?
Yeah.
It's a light breaking news day.
Unless you want to get political and or talk to Christmas and stuff.
Chanty Yellen.
Let's do it.
Yeah.
There was a, you know, broken ankles.
We can do that too.
Little, not even a choose your adventure.
KJ, I have some Super Nintendo news.
I'm all in.
It's good that KJ's here for it.
I did not own an SCMES.
I was a Sega boy, but I'm all in.
Flex on it, dude.
I would have been over at your house all the time trying to get that. Sega was where it was at. We had the setup on my street. I had a Sega boy. What? I'm all in. Let's go. Flex on it, dude. I would have been over at your house all the time trying to get that.
Sega was where it was at.
We had the setup on my street.
I had the Nintendo stuff.
Dude down the street
had all the Sega stuff.
Yeah, my next-door neighbor, Nate,
he had the Sega
and I had the Super Nintendo.
I was the dude down the street.
It was just a different street
and a little further,
but yeah, I also had the Sega.
Still, I always think
you and Dave grew up together.
We did.
We just didn't know it.
Super Nintendo World.
KJ's house had way more chandeliers
than Dave's house had
super nintendo world what is this randy can you help me out
super nintendo world oh i'm in is coming to live there i'm doing my school from there
universal studios should we go back? Dude, I will... Wait, where? Japan.
Where?
Japan.
There you go.
Thank you.
That's the thing, yeah.
He did the thing.
Universal Studios Japan,
Super Nintendo World is going to open
on February 4th, 2021.
I don't know
if they're going to be ready.
Yeah.
That seems like
that's a tight timeline.
Dude.
You're telling me
they've been working
this whole time?
No.
Is this the thing
that on PGP, remember J-Toss had that news piece that would go viral like every year at some point?
Yes.
And it was like our most trafficked thing and it was about a theme park?
It might have been this, yeah.
A Nintendo theme park?
It might have been this.
This is the news story that just keeps on giving.
The renderings.
I'm an aficionado for renderings.
The renderings, I'm an aficionado for renderings.
Anytime you have a big billion dollar development that's supposed to be going up or any of this bullshit and they throw the stock people up here, this is kind of a rendering slash game look. I want to know what the actual goods are going to look like because the only time I've been wowed is with the Harry Potter experience at Universal Studios.
I heard that's just next level.
You know,
bring outs is legit.
So it's not going to end up like the Texas Rangers stadium?
The before and afters of that
were pretty rough.
Yeah, the renderings of those
were a little different.
Inside of the stadium, great.
Dude, this,
if I was at this place,
I would be giddy.
Like, this is something
that would like,
I would fanboy out for hard.
Do they have a go-kart section? They have a yeah they need a go cart they need like a they need a
little track that you can actually just race around with you gotta think that's like probably
the biggest layup of the whole park right is like yeah we're gonna like we're gonna do mario
cart just like just do it you can run over toolboxes. Do they have the characters running around?
Like is Mario, can I go get a photo with Mario?
That's a good question.
What about Toadstool?
Toadstool, well, you're a fan of him.
It's hard to say, but a lot of the park is going to be automated,
or what's AR?
Automated reality?
Augmented reality.
Augmented reality.
So you put on glasses while you're in the park.
Okay.
And like that's when shit starts jumping at you.
Oh, boy.
That's the worst place to be on mushrooms.
Or the best.
Hey, speaking of AR, when I was driving down 35, I saw a truck.
And you know the Salt Life stickers?
I actually got cut off by a guy today with a Salt Life sticker, and it made me even more mad.
I was surprised it wasn't this guy because his said,
Assault Life, and under it there was an outline of an assault rifle.
Got it.
So it was a play on Salt Life, but it was an assault weapon.
That is truly terrible.
I was scared to take a photo.
I was like, I don't want this guy to catch me.
No.
No.
He will assault your life.
Yeah, seriously.
This guy assaults life. Jeez. Oh your life. Yeah, seriously. This guy assaults life.
Jeez.
Oh, Will.
Yes, Brett.
There is go-karts.
There has to have been.
Yes, absolutely.
I'm in.
I hope there's a parkour course, too.
Skate park?
Yeah.
Skate park.
There was never a Mario skate, was there?
No.
That would be sick.
They've got to have a bowling alley.
That's kind of, yeah.
Or tennis.
I don't know if they had Mario bowling back on Super Nintendo, though.
They not?
If this is just Super, I have worries about that.
I'm not going to start telling them what to do.
I trust them.
I'm going to let my inner furry freak flag fly whenever I hit up this park and just run
around with a tail out all day.
Dang.
Ooh.
Yes.
Ears and everything.
You're going to catch me bouncing around in the frog suit.
Just jumping high as fuck.
Throwing down dongs.
Hanging from the rim in a frog suit?
You've got the cape.
That'd be sick.
I was really good at flying with the cape, just FYI.
I bet I can fly further than any of you.
Just rock an iridescent bodysuit.
I got very good at Super Mario World.
Very good.
I should probably twitch it one day and see if I can beat it all in one run.
You know, I want to not believe you, but you delivered on the Tony Hawk promise.
Unfortunately, he did.
Yeah.
I have no reason to doubt you.
I'm also still a Division I FIFA player, so if anyone out there wants to get run at Pine Sky with the lads.
I was going to quit like a month ago.
Yeah, they did an update that everyone's complaining about, making it harder,
and it somehow just benefited my style of play.
So I'm now really good. I won my
first match, so, you know, I'll be ready this week.
Dude, let's run it. Let's run it.
Brad, do you have anything else, or was it just Super Nintendo
Day? Well, there was a
steakhouse twerking thing,
and that's about it. Oh.
I don't even know how to explain that.
Is it Ruth's Chris? Yeah, it's Ruth's Chris.
That is where it was taking place?
No, it wasn't.
True Kitchen in Dallas, right?
Yeah, True Kitchen and Cocktails with a K.
Yeah.
Why do they do that?
Because we're Dallas.
That's about all I can say.
The ironic thing is we are getting a new worst, or however you want to pronounce it,
we are getting a Salt Bae Steakhouse.
Oh, hell yeah.
I'm in.
Is that true?
That's opening in Dallas.
Book it for the Christmas party next year.
His 15th minute.
You can twerk in there.
Dude, next Dallas meetup.
I am under the thinking that if you would like to twerk in my place of business, I will let you.
Oh.
Wilmot's mixing twerking with the, what do you call it?
Daggering.
Daggering.
There you go.
We did have an issue with the daggering.
There were a lot of people bringing weaponry into the restaurant,
so we kind of had to shut down the daggering competitions.
I took it literally.
I'm more of a daggering guy.
Yeah, that's good.
That's good.
There we go.
I'm more of a puka shell with a shark tooth.
I'll attach that to the end of a fork if I need to.
Water levels are going to rise when KJ walks in with a shark tooth around the neck. Didn't they call you shark tooth
back in the day?
Some might.
Shall we?
Let's do it.
It's been fun, guys. We'll see you Wednesday.
Maybe a little tomorrow?
Is there any B&R chatter?
Be some R&B radio going on tomorrow.
We'll see.
Toodle-oo.