Circling Back - Bad Dates & Dangerous Nights
Episode Date: January 17, 2022Please do not listen if you're not ready for Dave's new posture initiative. We're BEGGING you. If you're interested, we also talk our Weekends in Fun, Leo's lightsaber date, Kanye's Dangerous Nights c...rew, whether or not steak belongs on pizza, and more. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Purchase a Circling Back Candle: www.vellabox.com/circling-back Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (18:51) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (32:36) Leo’s Lightsaber Date (43:30) Kanye’s Dangerous Nights Crew (57:37) Does Steak Belong On Pizza? (1:04:03) Brett’s Breaking News Support This Episode’s Sponsors Mizzen and Main: www.mizzenandmain.com 35% OFF (listen for the code) DraftKings: www.draftkings.com (download the app and use WASHED) Hawthorne: www.hawthorne.co (CIRCLINGBACK for 10% off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
All right, we're back.
Circling Back Podcast coming to you live from the lodge.
Presented by Vizzy Hard Seltzer, the only hard seltzer with vitamin C and superfood acerola.
My name is Will DeFreeze to my left,
David,
that boy rough.
I've got a new initiative that I'm working on.
Can you guys tell what it is just by looking at me?
Is it something about baked potatoes or no,
I'm actually working on my posture as I podcast.
That's weak,
dude.
It is.
Um,
so what I'm trying to do here is just kind of
maintain shoulders back, head up, just be a little bit more camera friendly for my,
whenever I transitioned to TV, television personality, I want to be ready. And also
I'm thinking about tilting my chair toward Dylan because I've found that I get a little sore in the
neck from looking over this way. You can't stop looking at me. Dylan's got so many funny jokes that I have to look at him a lot.
It's true.
So I'm going to turn a little bit.
Will, tell me if this is uncomfortable.
I hate this.
I absolutely hate this.
Brett did it this way, by the way.
No.
That's a freak.
Brett basically had his feet propped up on my chair.
I don't like that.
Hey, Dave, that's sick, man.
Thanks, man.
Let me be the first to congratulate you on your new posture.
It's platform posture.
All my vocalists out there will understand that.
We'll see how long I can maintain this.
Thanks for having me on.
We also have someone else in the building.
Some of you know him as Dylan Chivary.
Others know him as Shreddy Mercury.
Shred Armisen himself, Dylan Chivary.
You're really trying to force that on him.
Yeah.
No, listen, I had this conversation with Bay over the weekend.
I feel like my body is deteriorating.
It's really failing me lately.
It's the back.
I'm having neck problems.
Dude, hop on this initiative.
Digestive issues.
The whole situation is just falling apart.
What's up with your tum?
It doesn't matter.
We'll talk about it.
You've got tummy issues.
You can't bring up your tummy issues and not let the squad work them out with you.
I've just got tum-tum problems, man.
I've had them for like three months now.
Are you taking a probiotic?
No.
Should I?
It depends on what.
Yeah, you should.
I don't want you getting divertic.
That's something I wouldn't wish upon anybody.
Hasn't been super fun.
You know I'm de-ed up.
Divertic-ed up.
Really?
You know this about me.
When's the last time you had a kombucha?
It's been a minute since I booched up.
Maybe it's all about the booch today. Booch boys in the building. All's the last time you had a kombucha? It's been a minute since I booched up. Maybe it's all about the booch today.
Booch boys in the building. All about the booch.
I'm getting good vibrations.
Call us the booch boys.
Maybe I've
been having too much chicken spaghetti
at Chickalini's. I mean, that's what
it is. I've been eating hella spicy foods
lately.
They've been calling me Frank Caliente. Come on, gonna come on Randy that's that's my barometer if I'm funny I
need to exhaust that line of humor before the pod starts you can't expect Randy to like
be hooting and hollering over there when you drop that line which we're all guilty of yeah
I am happy to be here however what symptoms What symptoms are you having with the TomTom?
I'm not going to talk about them.
I barely even told Pei.
We have several women in STEM who are currently listening,
and I think they could help you out with your digestive issues.
Women in STEM, if you know about the TomTom, holler at me.
Just talk TomTom.
You made it weird somehow, even though I don't know how you did that.
Yeah.
It's what I do, man.
It feels good to be back.
It's been two weeks since the squad's been together.
Oh, yeah, and we really missed you.
Because, like, you were out with the Kron, and then I went on vacay, and, like, it's been a disjointed.
Oh, Kron?
We're not doing Omicron?
Omicron?
Yeah.
Thousands are hospitalized, I believe.
It's true, Dylan.
It's a mild one.
It's a mild boy.
I think Delta's still out there just wreaking havoc on people.
Yeah?
I don't know.
I suggested to a doctor friend of mine, of ours, I said,
I'm worried about Dylan because I think he may not have Crohn.
I think he might have Delta.
And his quote, paraphrasing, was, I promise you it's Omicron.
Okay. I said, okay promise you it's Omicron.
Okay.
I said, okay.
Rolling with the Omis.
Jesus.
Rolling with the Omis.
Okay, I'm on board.
There's a Clueless reference.
Yeah.
A movie from the early 90s.
Someone accused me recently of not seeing Clueless full through,
and that's just simply not true.
I had a sister who was a year and a half older than me. I assure i've seen it numerous times of course clueless a movie in which the the
lead character falls in love with her stepbrother who's significantly younger than him right i
believe so if he's in his 30s and she's in high school fuck it's not funny wasn't it based on
like a shakespeare play or something antigone or? Antigone or some shit? Antigone or some shit.
I don't know.
Are either of you guys partaking in Station Eleven?
Fourth time I've brought it up on the show.
No.
I decided I'm not going to be.
It was based on Emma.
I think you'll like it.
Jane Austen.
Ever heard of her?
There's a tie-in to this.
Jane Eyre?
Did you have to read Jane Eyre?
No.
We had a girl in fifth grade.
I don't want to expose this girl too much, but in fifth grade,
I had a girl come in after a long weekend,
and she said that she read Jane Eyre cover to cover.
No.
And she told, we had to do like verbal book reports to our teacher
in order to prove that we read the book.
There's no way a fifth grader read Jane Eyre cover to cover.
Sarah?
Maybe she was on that good Adderall.
She could have been.
I didn't know they had that back in fifth grade.
She got that early time release before they had to tone it down.
I came back from Disney World one time, and this girl was a new student,
and they just gave her my desk.
I no longer had a desk.
You got cucked.
Yeah.
You got desk cucked.
Damn.
It was the cucking of desks.
Anyway, what were you saying about Jane Eyre?
Did they give you another desk?
They eventually gave me another desk, yes.
But you know how you had those little, like, four-desk clusters?
I was no longer with my crew.
That's a problem.
Did they do it because they knew you were, like, social enough to be able to, like, go fit in wherever?
Hard to say.
Like, you're the only one they could have done that to.
We had the wild teacher, though.
Like, we had the teacher you wanted to get as a student, but if you were a parent, you were like,
my kid's probably going to be a little behind going into sixth grade.
So anyway, Station Eleven, there's a lot of Shakespearean references.
They're actors and stuff, and they're all lost on me.
But I love the show.
Great acting.
Honestly, one of the better shows I've watched recently.
I was already out before you told me about the Shakespearean.
For sure, Will, you'd like it.
I'm 100 OP out.
If you're somebody who understands numerous Shakespeare references, we're just writing different ways.
Yeah, you're just a boner.
Time out.
You put off a guy who would know those references.
Dude, I have no clue.
Shakespeare, over my head.
No clue what's going on.
I don't know what they're saying.
No.
That version of English, I don't get it.
It's like a foreign language to me.
Why do they talk like that, David?
They don't even know how to spell the word old.
They put an E at the end. You don't even know how to spell the word old they put an e
at the end like you don't need that e dog like what are you doing what are you saying get out of
here yeah cool cool william the best shakespeare performance is when billy does it in the uh
competition with eric and billy madison
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I was asleep.
Forever.
You kind of crushed that. We do impressions.
Yeah, we're a big movie reference podcast.
We like to make references that relate back to movies.
If you're a Station Eleven fan and you want to just chat about it,
hit me up.
I love it.
Dude, you should hop in the Station Eleven Discord.
I bet it's going off at all times.
If you set one up, I promise I will be active in there.
I will give you one comment per week.
There's only one season of it.
It's based on a novel.
Novell.
Just say novel.
You're bringing a lot of nerd shit
to this podcast right now, David.
You're really nerding it up.
Let me guess,
you're playing Wordle too, aren't you?
I'm trying to take us...
No, you canceled Nerdle last week.
Your word's not mine.
Nerdle.
Were you first to say nurdle?
I did.
Did you see that in somewhere else?
I promise you.
My very smart, funny brain came up with that.
When will we ironically start doing word, nurdle?
I'm not going to do it, man.
I don't even know what it is.
I see the tweets.
I don't understand what it actually is, and I have no desire to find out,
and I know we've already exhausted the topic.
You weren't here for it. No, I don't
know what it is. I'm seeing a lot of people on the TL
who I previously had a lot of respect
for tweeting out
Nernal shit. You had respect for Micah?
It's Micah, it's hashtag Chad,
it's other folks on the TL.
It's all our friends.
Who said it was 2012 Facebook behavior?
Knock it off. It was Curry.
That's a good tweet.
I'm going to do it. Knock it off. It was Curry. That's a good tweet. That's a really good tweet.
No, I'm going to do it.
Knock it off.
You know what?
If somebody starts a Station 11 Discord channel and invites me to it or tags me in it, I will do a Wordle.
I hope it's you and the one backer watching Station 11 just having a group or just a one-on-one conversation within a Discord.
Actually, what I just said, I'm not going to do.
I will do a Wordle, but it's going to be like two months from now after they've gone under i'm gonna schedule out some wordle tweets for my personal
account for like yeah just a long time the new thing to do is to to to show the take a screenshot
of you blocking the word wordle on your twitter that's almost that's almost as insufferable as
the nerdle people themselves i did some muting this weekend see Here's why I don't Here's why I don't mute stuff like that
I want
I want to like
I want these people to identify themselves
So I can continue to hate follow them
You know what I mean?
You really don't like Wordle
If you're tweeting out Nerdle shit
And I don't see it
How am I going to know
That you're an actual nerd?
You know that people are going to start
Tagging you in their Wordle stuff
Michael's already started
Hashtag block He's tagging Dylan? Yeah he's already tagging you in their Wordle stuff. Michael's already started doing that. Hashtag block.
He's tagging Dylan?
Yeah, he's already tagging Dylan in his Wordle tweets.
Oh, I love it.
I'm going to block his ass.
I muted two celebrity names this weekend.
Can you guess who they were?
Ooh.
Cher.
Kanye.
You can't mute Cher.
No, I didn't mute Kanye.
Madonna.
Was one of them Jonathan Taylor Thomas.
It wasn't.
Fuck.
It wasn't, dude.
I'll never mute him.
Tiffany Amber Thiessen.
No.
We should bring Flappy.
You guys are trying to get me to mute people
that I absolutely loved in my childhood.
Okay.
How about you just tell us?
Fred Astaire.
It was not Fred Astaire.
I muted Machine Gun Kelly as well as MGK
and then Megan Fox.
I'm done.
I can't do it anymore.
You know what?
I don't care.
That's fine.
We've reached Billy Bob Thornton, Angelina Jolie levels of just...
There's a modern day Billy Bob and Angelina.
They're doing way too much.
I don't need...
I don't care if they did a blood pact or not.
I don't care if it was a joke on Instagram or if they actually did it.
I just don't care.
They drank each other's blood, not for like...
I drink your blood.
They just did it for the... Thank you. For the notoriety. Like, oh, people will talk about this. So. I just don't care. They drank each other's blood, not for like... I drink your blood. They just did it for the notoriety.
Like, oh, people will talk about this,
so let's just get extra weird.
This shit's annoying.
If Sally told me to do a shot of her blood at our wedding,
I would have done it.
But I'm not going to be telling people I did it.
I just don't need to drink anybody's blood at this point.
I'm not Armie Hammer.
Is he still doing that?
I don't know if he was ever doing it or just talking about it yeah he
was he was all mouth what that mouth do true a shot of blood seems like a lot were you ever
blood brothers with anybody did you ever do the blood brothers pact when you were a kid no i could
see you doing the branding thing with your boys no i had some buddies who did the had some buddies who did the branding thing, and I wasn't there for it.
And, like, low-key, I was pretty bummed I wasn't there for it.
I had a bunch of buddies who thought it was cool to put cigars out on their arms
so they could have the scars.
I was like, guys, I'm not doing this.
Yeah, it's a bad call.
It's really stupid.
Dude, I've been listening to this Gary Vee pod about branding.
Oh, yeah?
It's pretty interesting.
Yeah, I will.
You like Gary Vee.
I like the unintentional comedy that Gary Vee brings to the timeline.
Doesn't he have a signature shoe?
At Grand X, we talked about, like, we need to get these.
He hundo PS.
We never got them.
Were they Skechers?
What were they?
Like Allbirds or some shit?
They might have been.
No, they weren't Allbirds.
That would be the perfect collaboration.
They were actually Etnies.
No, stop. ES is making. That would be the perfect collaboration. They were actually Antony's. No, stop.
ES is making my favorite ones from high school again.
Really?
Yeah.
I'm not that far from buying a pair.
All right.
Segment that has nothing to do with Dylan.
Unless you want.
Power rank your high school shoes.
Give me top three brands.
Oh, Adidas Sambas.
Go.
ES Costin 3 skate shoes. And i had a pair of audio skate shoes
too and i don't know which version they were but they were definitely the bam margeris if he had a
signature shoe dude i was the first one to have the adidas oswego oswego however you say it back
in the day and people were just all over my jock when I had those. It was so sick. Is that true? You really did have those? Oh, yeah.
They were tight. Oh, shit.
You were swagging back then.
Yeah, dude.
I know that.
For me, I had a pair of the Stan Smith Adidas.
Oh.
Loved those.
A guy that I later in life became friends with, but he was a couple years older than me,
he had a pair of those that he would skate in.
And I thought it was a real swag move.
And so I bought a pair to skate in into and I completely swagger jacked him he's also the first person to ever utter the word Sunday
scaries to me whoa origin story he set my life on a different path what's he doing now
dude I don't know I gotta hit up code man codester remember Cody from uh remember Cody
from step by step I. He went so hard.
He just sat in his van.
I don't know who that is, but there's no way Cody from Step by Step went hard.
Dude, he lived in his van in the backyard and just smoked weed in there and played guitar.
Oh, yeah, he sounds awesome.
Yeah.
Sounds like a fucking doper loser.
Oh, look at this guy.
This guy doesn't burn.
Oh, I burn.
Everybody knows I burn.
What other shoes you got in that roster?
I'm going Etnies.
Did you ever have any pumps?
Rebuck pumps?
Yeah, when I was a kid.
I had the LA gear, the LA lights, though.
I had those before the pumps. Kid in first grade showed up wearing pumps, and he immediately was the alpha of the classroom.
Yeah, that shit was so swag.
They helped me make the 7th grade B team.
My older sister's friend had some,
and I was like, this dude is the coolest guy I've ever seen.
Have y'all seen on Twitter the reprise of all the
and one shirts that were just blatantly disrespectful
to people?
No.
They're like, damn, I'll take you to church
because you better pray this jump shot doesn't go in.
Damn.
It's so stupid.
It's a lot for a t-shirt. so stupid. It's so good, though.
It's a lot for a t-shirt.
I know.
I remember the animation on those shirts, though.
They're tight.
Like that super jack dude with the basketball.
Shredded.
Yeah.
They were calling him Shreddy Krueger.
I know.
I remember that.
You guys want to hear a couple?
We haven't done this in a little bit.
You guys want to?
Oh, air walks?
They were fine.
They were your starter skate shoe.
You thought I was going to?
Yeah.
I had my first pair of air walks in like sixth grade.
I don't think I ever actually owned any air walks. You thought I was going to... I had my first pair of Airwalks in like sixth grade. I don't think I ever actually owned any Airwalks.
You thought I was going to say Simple.
No, we talked...
Barrett and I talked Simple on the Sunday Scaries podcast feed,
Retail Therapy, just this past Sunday.
I'm plugging it right now.
Yeah, we talked Simple.
They're no longer in production.
They out.
You guys want to hear a couple of ratings and reviews that we got recently?
No, I do.
Just get to it.
Only if they're really, really good.
Dude, one of them says, hanging with the boys.
If I could give it one million stars to these fellas, I would.
They're the three best friends I've actually never met.
Someone said, listen to this podcast.
Bing bong.
Username, I'm whatting.
They're doing a lot.
A lot of bits thrown into that, but that's kind of the point.
I haven't pre-screened any of these, so if I say anything that's offensive to anybody, I'm sorry.
We're the three best friends.
Stop.
Ever wonder what delving into the devious minds of two middle-aged dudes in an AARP cardholder would yield?
Wheel, this podcast will keep you laughing, thinking, and what-ing for hours.
Been listening for just over four years now, and these lads are my best friends I've never met.
That's two people.
Grab some Super Fantastic and sit back and relax.
I mean, they really put everything into that.
We have sororitygirllover69, who rated us five stars.
It says, have you ever wondered what it's like to be a washed-up 30-year-old
hanging around an extra?
Okay, you're just taking L's here, Dylan.
I'm sorry.
Dylan's 38.
He's not 30.
Finish the fucking reading.
Here's the final one.
This isn't your grandma's pod. No, no, finish it.
Finish it. I'm
wondering, what do you say? You're an extremely
washed 40-year-old friend. Oh boy, do I have a
podcast for you? That's not nice.
Five stars, though. Next person,
only reviews complimenting Dylan get read
on the next Monday pod.
That's facts. Dylan, I'm doing you a favor here. Wow, thank you, man.
I'm looking out for you. That's actually really nice of you.
Don't feel bad for him.
I was at Bolden Acres with him yesterday, an outdoor bar.
This dude walks up.
I've never seen you look more like celebrity.
You had like a cool shirt on, backwood hat, cool shades on,
and was just walking around like he owned the place. How dope are my new shades?
Dude, I told KJ, I go, Dylan looks famous right now.
What's he doing?
I mean, low-key, I am.
What's your problem?
Shut up.
Normally your fits are fine.
Like super facts.
That shirt – Bae got me that shirt for Christmas, man.
She's really – she's actually knocked you up a peg.
She's upping my swag.
There's no doubt.
Yeah.
Thank you, Bae.
You're the best.
Our final one from JD Alpha.
It says, this isn't your grandma's pod.
Podcast presented by David Blaine, tweet guy.
The original rowdy gentleman and Russian dictator with a stash produced by a man that has no business being that thick.
Just remember, there is a loading phase.
Okay, if someone is checking out this podcast, I wonder if this is someone I'd be interested in, reads that review.
There's no way they're going to listen to it.
I don't know.
What the fuck is this guy talking about?
This is why we don't get like 2 million downloads an episode.
Yes.
It's because the reviews are holding us back.
It's this.
People are like, you know what?
Check this out.
I saw these guys on TikTok in an elevator.
Let me check it out.
Is that one viral yet?
Can we get a viral check?
Yeah.
How viral is it?
Get back to us on that.
Thank you.
I think it's time.
For what?
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We should do a contest.
New segment alert right now.
We should do a contest where we see who can read
the disclaimers
at the end of certain ad reads the fastest.
And cleanest. It's like a typing
test. You get dinged for every stutter
or whatever. I've been trying to get a typing test going
for a little bit now, but there's one person holding us back.
He won't do it. It'll be
humiliating for me.
We'll put odds on it.
What if we did a pre-
season for this
and we established odds that you had to surpass?
We go in with expectations and it's
not just that you lose. The reason for this contest
is solely to make me look like a total
old. It's also to try to make me look good.
I'm worried about Brett, though.
Brett says he's fast.
He did it the other day.
I'll admit that I am.
The previous employer, I thought I could type as fast, if not faster than Will,
and he got me by at least 10 words a minute.
Brett's over 80.
Oh, I think I got Brett.
Facts?
Maybe I'll do one after this.
I'll ignite one after this.
I'll ignite the fire a little bit. I'm flirting with like 50-60.
That's a TikTok genre, Dylan's typing journey, that people would tune in for because it's aesthetically pleasing, the sound of hunting and pecking.
Are you faster on your laptop or your phone?
My laptop.
Are you sure?
I'm actually faster on the new laptop than I was on the old one for some reason.
A laptop.
Are you sure?
You know what?
I'm actually faster on the new laptop than I was on the old one for some reason.
For purposes of what Will's asking, he's talking about texting on your phone while you're at home,
not while you're driving a vehicle like you do often.
Oh, I see.
Yeah, this isn't when you're looking up every two seconds to make sure you're not ramming into someone behind you. Driving on 360.
I only text while driving, so I wouldn't know.
It's not safe.
Dylan, what'd you get into this weekend?
Well, thanks for asking, Will.
Friday, mobbed with the boys minus Will, of course.
Ha ha, it's me.
Yeah.
Met up with, even Randy showed up for a little bit.
Randy, Dave, Brett experienced the worst service we've ever had,
or I personally ever had in Austin.
Love to see that.
Really, truly terrible.
But we saw it a lot of fun.
Drank some crispy boys.
Ate some cookies at the bar.
It was kind of a scene.
Kind of a scene.
It was fun.
Saturday, date night.
Took bae out to dinner.
Yeah, that's right.
Took bae out to dinner.
Good fiancé.
You want to elaborate?
What genre of food did you consume?
What do you call that place?
They had steaks and a couple seafood dishes and a burger type place.
What do you call that?
American Fair?
What's the restaurant?
Tiny Boxwoods.
I was going to say, if you would have just said the restaurant, I might have been able to help you.
Tiny Bees.
What do they call that?
Yeah, huh?
Tiny Bees.
Tiny Boxwoods.
It was very good.
My first time there.
A little overpriced for me.
Yeah.
As most restaurants in Austin are now.
They have one in Houston.
They get you there. Started in Houston.
Really? I'm surprised you didn't know that. They've got the tiniest
boxwood. I'll show you a tinier boxwood.
What is a boxwood?
It's a box of wood.
Okay.
Is the box made out of wood?
Mine is full of wood.
Sunday, very unfortunately, I watched
the Dallas Cowboys
just absolutely embarrass themselves.
Mike McCarthy's a joke.
Got to go.
Oh, I don't think he's going.
Dude, save that fuego for the Too Much Dip podcast,
recording shortly after this one.
Just a disgusting display of football.
Yeah, and that's pretty much it.
How about you, idiots?
D-man.
Yeah, it was with Dylan.
I experienced the service issue.
It was fine.
I mean, it wasn't fine.
It was bad.
Anyway, Saturday, played golf.
That's significant for one reason.
Cold front season here in Austin, Texas, most places as well.
cold front season here in Austin, Texas, most places as well.
Blew through overnight, but you had the north winds gusting up to 50 miles an hour at times.
And I haven't played in a while.
It's tough with the kid.
So I was like, no matter what, I'm playing.
And I went.
And it was sunny and it wasn't bad. Front nine was not bad.
Now, it was very windy.
And I don't think I broke 50 on the front.
A couple snowmen on the front wasn't great.
But the back, when the sun started going down.
Our tee time was at 130.
When the sun goes down.
Four o'clock rolled around.
It was chilly boy season.
But I had a great time.
I'm working on this little hooded stinger, three iron, Dylan.
I think you'll love it.
Keep it low to the earth.
Hoodie Dave is back.
You don't have a hooded stinger three iron.
I do.
You just don't.
I do, man.
It rolls out.
Yeah, I can't wait to see it.
Well, you won't see it because you don't play.
You gave up.
You sold your clubs.
I want to play soon.
I want to play Lions soon.
And I would like you guys to play with me if you're into it.
Yeah, dude, for sure.
It's going to be a banger for sure.
Marilyn Manson.
Hooded stinger three iron, this guy says.
Just hit the ball straight, David.
Who do you think you are?
Huh?
Think you're Gary Woodman?
What's his last name again?
Woodland?
Woodland.
I almost said Woodman.
Think you're Gary Woodland?
It's me, Gary V.
Dylan, golf is a waste of time.
Look, why would you golf when you could just be grinding instead?
You should be buying cryptocurrency.
Does he do crypto?
Surely.
Surely.
That guy stinks.
Gary?
Yeah.
Dude, Will, do people know how much the place that you worked before you were a content guy loved Gary Vee?
Well, like we read a management book at Grand X and I was like, oh, man, this company is going downhill because I've already read this book.
Isn't he just like a I never sleep, I stay up all night working, like I don't work anybody kind of guy, like rah-rah?
Yeah.
That's what we need to do.
One piece of advice that I've actually seen him give to people, is great he'll be like all right like how long you've been
working on your project for and they're like eight years i'm just i'm working on it every single day
and he's like that's too long it's a failure move on like yeah actually good point like if you're
working on for eight years and it still sucks like yeah maybe you should just move on player
yeah you know rome wasn't built in a day rome is currently burning though
wow that's that's heavy think about that sunday man linked up for a little bit i have i have a
hard and fast rule about watching not not every dfw sports team that I love, but the Cowboys specifically. I don't watch Cowboy playoff
games in public anymore.
So I'm 37 now.
There's really not much I have
to gain from it. Because
if they...
If, like, we find a time
machine and we go back and we play very, very
well, then I'm 37.
I'm not going to be the guy at the bar, like, buying
shots, like, high-fiving everybody.
It's just not my style anymore.
Dude, get some H-bombs for the boys.
And if they just go out there and lay a turd like they did last night,
yesterday, then I'm just sad at the bar looking at the clock,
wondering if I should order another one, but probably not because I'm sad.
And I'm just waiting on an uber sad wearing like cowboy gear
there's no worse uber ride home than post-playoff loss uber ride home so i i went linked up with kj
and dylan for a minute uh had a beer watched the end of the philly game and uh i left before
kickoff and you know what it was for the best because that would have been that would have been
just all-time bad time for me to be in public.
What did y'all's spreads look like for this game?
Do you have like a red stripe or anything?
I had a pecan porter.
I had a Guinness.
Yeah.
And I had a Yingling.
Wow.
I had two beers at the bar.
I had blueberry blonde ale.
Was that good?
Hate that.
Don't like that.
Oh, it was very good.
Did Brittany like it?
Then I had two yinglings at home.
Kind of.
You're on the yingling wave.
Do you know I'm a ying boy?
Turn this into a party wave.
Get me on it.
All right.
Sure.
Sorry.
I'll fuck off.
Yeah, please do.
It's really taken out of me maintaining this posture.
I don't know how you're doing it, why you're doing it even.
I'm just trying to get back to where I'm not hunched over.
Well, I'll save you guys the painful stories of my weekend,
of me doing absolutely nothing.
I'll sum up your weekend.
You avoided us at every turn.
I did not avoid you.
Yeah, you did.
No, I did not avoid you.
I didn't do much this weekend, though, but you know what I did do?
Not hang out with us.
You guys heard about this Euphoria show?
Is that the one with Sidney Sweeney?
Yeah.
That's the horniest question you can ask somebody if they bring up Euphoria. I don't know anything about her. The single horniest question you can ask somebody. No, you can't. That's the horniest question you can ask somebody if they bring up euphoria.
I don't know anything about her.
The single horniest question you can ask somebody.
No, you do.
It's a young lady from White Lotus, of course.
I don't know what I'm doing with this show.
I think I just broke it down.
These teams, they're cool.
Did you watch season one?
Yes, I did.
It's very anxiety-inducing.
I tried to get my wife into it, and it took her 45 minutes into the pilot
before she said, I'm never watching one more minute of this show ever again.
And did she?
Look at all the memes that we're getting from this show.
I was a little worried with all these memes when I saw Sydney Sweeney, like, hiding in a bathroom,
that she was trying to escape, like, some guy, like, coming after her or something.
I was like, are we really laughing at this?
And then I watched the show, and I was like, oh, okay, no, we're allowed to meme this.
I had that thought, and then I listened, and they were, it was somebody who thought she was taking a two right yeah kind of okay kind of are you guys ever
gonna watch this show it's the hottest show going right now maybe maybe i can't even get you guys to
watch season two of gemstones and you're just sitting here just like no i will watch that
eventually i've been busy man shut up you've been what like hanging out with humans and like drinking
beers with your friends and stuff
I don't live alone anymore man weird
Yeah, are you having like do you guys have matching television tastes
Somewhat
What okay? She watches a a few reality shows that I'm not into like this cheer show on Netflix
You see this well Sally so into it times I can't do it. Go where everybody
knows your name. Of course, that's from
the show Cheers. Yeah.
You know the whole show is filmed inside that bar.
They never leave. Love Ted
Danson. They never leave. You notice that?
Without Cheers, there's no Frasier Dylan, so I
have no choice but to stay in. They never leave the bar. Origin
story. Yeah. So I'm calling it a
prequel.
So today, first of all all shout out mlk day and my wife is not working she's at home and i've got a feeling she's
going to start a show without me so i'm just i'm just putting that out there if she's listening
she's not but i've got a feeling i'm going to go home and she's going to be like four episodes deep on something
and I'm never going to get caught up
and it's just a show I'll never watch.
Marriage is just constantly trying to get on the same page
when you're trying to like watch a TV show together.
I fell asleep for the last 20 minutes
of a Narcos Mexico season the other day
and Sally's just like,
oh yeah, can you catch up please?
So she's liking it?
Yeah.
How can't you?
It's like one of the best shows on television
so good if anybody wants to get a station 11 or uh excuse me uh narcos mexico thread going on a
discord i'm in you know dave it's rare that you're on the golf course and you're actually chilly in
texas most of the time we're doing stuff and you know we're getting dressed up and everything
uh-huh you know you're just sweating through stuff. Okay.
Whether you're on the golf course and you could just have a nicer polo,
or maybe you're just in the boardroom and you're like,
wow, this shirt is stiff.
I'm sweating through it.
It's wrinkling too.
I hate a stiff shirt.
What am I doing?
You mentioned the boardroom, but what about a discotheque?
It works for that too.
Okay.
But if you're ever having those problems and you just dread wearing dress shirts like me,
because I'm a podcaster, I don't wear dress shirts that often,
I think you've got to go check out Mizzen and Main.
Mizzen and Main combines the comfort and flexibility of your favorite athletic wear
with the fit and style of a custom dress shirt.
Lightweight, breathable, moisture-wicking, this bad boy will have you looking great.
And you can even skip the dry cleaner because these shirts, they're all machine washable.
I hate going to the dry cleaner. You never know if it's going to be like two days or three days you have to get wait for
that text to go off when it's all ready and stuff sometimes they put too much starch on it please
get me out of here why can't i just toss it in the washer oh wait i can now i'm missing a mate
damn you know they got famous for their dress shirts but they now make incredibly comfortable flannels,
no-tuck shirts, performance polos, chinos, so much more.
You think I'm not already copping these no-tucks?
I got one recently.
You're kind of the no-tuck guy.
Oh, yeah.
Your team never tucks.
Yeah, catch me not tucking.
Just don't do it.
Yeah, they made the tuck rule.
It wasn't because of Dylan, though.
Exactly.
He just doesn't do that kind of thing.
Dude, eighth grade, though? Always tucking.
Yeah, they used to call me
Tucker Carlson. Remember Tuck Tuck?
I'm sorry. Wasn't Tuck Tuck in
Three Ninjas? Tuck Tuck is
a Thai restaurant in South Austin.
It's also the name for a
cab in Thailand. Dude, his name's Tom Tom.
I know, but wasn't there another one?
Eh.
Maybe I was wrong on that one.
That's a great movie.
Yeah, it was so good.
On top of my nose, it's bad news already.
I wonder if those guys are working desk jobs now, just crushing mizzens every day.
You got to think, man.
Crushing mizzens every day.
All day, every day.
I love these things, man.
If I have the opportunity to not sweat through my dress shirt, I'm taking that opportunity
every single time.
That's fair.
Going to New Orleans for Micah's bachelor party, I was like, oh, I know what shirt I need to bring.
It's about to be absolutely balmy
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Leo News.
Mmm.
You know I'm a cancer.
Is it, though?
Is it news?
Are you calling fake news? It's the fakest
news I've ever seen in the history of
fake news. Yes.
So, Leo's ex-girlfriend,
what was her name? I believe it's his current
girlfriend. No, she said ex. I know, but
I think that was wrong. Someone replied to Dylan's tweet saying they're
still dating. Oh. Yeah. Thank you.
Yeah, that's right. I read
tweets. Yeah, I'm on Twitter.
She said... Camila Moron
So is she like in her
How old is she, like in her 30s or 40s or what?
I don't know, man, I think she's in her 20s, Dave
Really?
Yeah, he likes them
Like late 20s?
I don't know
Or like
Do you know how old she actually is?
How old?
24.
Like, that's just too young for Leo. How old is Leo?
38.
No.
47.
47?
I was going to say 47.
He's pretty much lived two of her lives at this point.
AJ, nothing but a number, though.
I mean, me at 38, the thought of asking a 24-year-old would be crazy.
Certified on different waves.
What if it was your boss's high school-age daughter?
My date with the president's daughter.
I'm trying to think of the clueless dynamic again.
I can't get past that.
Well, Camilla came out and said that he made her sit through an entire Star Wars,
or a series of Star Wars movies, the entire franchise,
while he ran around the theater that they rented out.
Entire franchise.
That's many, many hours.
How many are there now?
Seven?
Eight?
Including Solo?
This is the dumbest, fakest.
Solo.
Story of all time.
BuzzFeed wrote about it
first of all
is that fake to you?
yeah
like
okay
if you have the opportunity
to hang out with Leo
like someone approaches you
and they're like
Dylan
Leo's been listening
to Circling Back lately
he wants to hang out with you
can you clear your schedule
for you know
January 28th
you guys are going to
Alamo Drafthouse together
you're like thinking
like, oh, we're going to screen like a new movie
he's in or something like that. And then he starts doing that.
Are you bummed that that's how your day with Leo transpires?
Well, since it 100%
did not happen, I don't really have to go over this
hypothetical in my head. Is that
the only way a guy like Leo can go to a theater
and watch a movie is if he rents it out?
Because that's
kind of a fun part of watching movies,
is the audience reacting to it.
That's part of the dynamic of certain films.
How long would it take to watch every movie in this series?
That's a Randy question.
Two days?
I'm going to say at least two days.
Maybe a fortnight.
Look, nothing about the story is true.
What kind of lightsaber did he bring to the movie theater?
It says it would take 25 hours and 7 minutes
to watch all 11 live-action Star Wars movies.
That includes 9 installments from the Skywalker Saga
and 2 anthology movies, Rogue One and Solo.
This is excluding the anthology movies,
Episode 1 to...
Oh, sorry, never mind.
If you watch all the anthology movies,
Episodes 1 through 4...
9? I don't...
It'll take you to 20 hours.
Even if you just watched one of the movies,
they still call bullshit on the story.
What's the story?
He made her watch that?
Did he have a lightsaber
and he was acting out the fight scenes?
If he liked Star Wars this much,
wouldn't he be in a movie by now?
I feel like he's got the clout to be like,
Hey, George, you're putting me in a movie.orge lucas of course that's what i'm talking about
not frank lucas man that would be tough somebody of of leo's stature
in star wars what there's been big people in star wars i know but he's just
you're the Star Wars guy.
You're the certified Star Wars guy.
I'm not.
You are, though.
I'm more so than y'all, but...
Didn't you see my viral TikTok?
I don't have any ill will towards Star Wars.
I just don't know that much about it,
and I just feel like I was kind of
in an in-between time of getting into it.
Dude.
It is the nerdiest franchise of all time.
This is crazy.
I don't think that's even that rude to say.
It's just common knowledge.
This says that Leo actually voiced Jar Jar Binks.
Really?
That's cool.
I don't even know what that means.
I like what kind of character he is.
Randy knew.
Or knows.
You don't even know about the joke behind Jar Jar Binks?
No.
Being just the worst character in Star Wars history?
Really?
Why?
Because he's just annoying.
He sucks.
Is he a lame-o?
He's kind of a lame-o.
Kind of like Dave.
You're kind of the Jar Jar Binks
of this pod, dude.
That's actually,
I'm fine with that.
I'm memorable at least.
It's true.
Damn.
I mean,
in the list of Star Wars characters,
he's definitely on my list
of people that I can name
and I don't think that list
is more than 10 characters.
Queen Amidala.
Princess Leia.
Was Queen, that was Natalie Portman?
I don't know.
I'm sorry.
It's Keira Knightley, actually.
Natalie Portman's in it somewhere.
I'm joking.
That's what I guessed.
She was Queen Amidala, dude.
Everybody knows that.
That's common knowledge, dude.
If I'm doing anything but hanging out on a yacht with Leo
on the day that I'm granted with him, I'm bummed.
Leo did not do this.
I think there's even a false story.
What benefit does she have making this up?
Is this just like a cute thing?
Oh, I don't know because I didn't know what her name was two days ago.
Now I do.
Maybe she was trying to get on Circling Back and she succeeded.
We're talking about her.
Leo, if you're a big listener of Circling Back, just, like, email us.
Just let us know.
The jumbo seat, don't look up.
I haven't seen it yet.
You have not seen it.
I have not seen it yet.
I'm looking forward to it.
Oh, man, it's good.
It's good.
I just fall asleep to every movie I watch lately.
It's really bad.
It's becoming an issue. It's good. I just fall asleep to every movie I watch lately. It's really bad. It's becoming an issue.
Sleepy Will.
Dude, every single thing I watch, I fall asleep with 10 minutes left.
It's a major issue.
Man.
Leo's getting low-key dragged about making Don't Look Up and also being kind of a hypocrite
when it comes to the climate shit.
But he's done so much for climate change.
So he's allowed to just cruise around.
I feel like he's a little bit allowed to be hypocritical
considering he's done more than 99% of people have.
The carbon footprint from a lightsaber is pretty intense.
I've never thought about that.
What does that do to the ozone every time you take a swipe?
It just takes a little swipe out of the ozone.
They used to call Dave's dorm room the ozone.
So are you trying to say that private jet... It's the brozone. They used to call Dave's dorm room the Ozone. So you're trying to say that private jets...
It was the brozone.
Just dudes playing Halo.
Dude, hell yeah.
Hell yeah.
Are people saying it's hypocritical?
He's got yachts and private jets and shit?
Dylan, what site are you looking at?
I don't know, man.
One of these Euro ones.
Oh, okay.
Daily Mail or some shit.
I'm not afraid of climate change
because i like i think i'm not afraid of change wow that's pretty deep that's pretty deep man
that's actually you know i think it's time for us to adapt damn yeah for sure
makes you think i didn't think we're gonna to solve any world issues on this pod today, but we did.
Will brings up some good points, though.
Yeah.
He usually does.
Maybe it's on us, man.
Did you do a pod with us last week?
We did one Thursday.
Yeah.
I did the dad pod on patreon.com.
Dad pod was good.
I like that content.
Big fan.
It was better than the first one.
No, the first one was good.
It was better than the first one.
Better than the first one.
Better than the first one.
Was the first one not good? It was better than the first one. Better than the first one. Was the first one not good?
It was good.
The second one was better.
Okay.
I like to think that every pod we do is better than the last.
You have to think like that.
That's just simply untrue.
No, after Valerio.
There's no way we taught Valerio the week of Valerio.
It's true.
That's true.
Should we just record every week until we just have a podcast? There's no way we top Valerio the week of Valerio. It's true. That's true.
Should we just record every week until we just have a podcast we're not proud of?
We're like, that wasn't good enough. Maybe we should record until we have a perfect podcast and then just stop recording.
What entails a perfect podcast?
Well, first of all, Will's got to pitch a perfect game on the ad reads.
It's true.
Which is tough.
Okay, rule number one.
I've done it.
I'll mail it. It's got to be a banger for sure ad reads. It's true. Which is tough. Okay, rule number one. I've done it. I'll mail it.
It's got to be a banger for sure.
We're going to be laughing the whole time.
I'm doing walking.
I'm singing.
Dave's doing his little bing bong joke that nobody cares about,
but he loves so much.
I noticed you were tweeting about bing bong.
It seems like somebody cares.
Expose him.
No, I do like bing bong.
The jokes, that is.
I'm kind of off of it.
I'm on my new shit now.
What's your new shit?
That called Blammo.
It's not called Blammo.
Really?
That's pretty sick, man.
You know that TJ's has got me like, plow.
Right.
Anyway, back to my posture.
My posture's actually getting worse i'm sure i'm shrinking into ross laying down by the end of a plot at those old chairs his grandex posture was
truly abysmal can we talk those chairs were the first studio we had those chairs were terrible
for you you couldn't sit up straighten them, it was pointless to even try. They were comfortable
until you had to sit in them for 90
minutes. Dylan, we gotta get our YouTube numbers up.
Can you start putting your feet up like you did in the
Touching Base studio so people can see your feet?
Can we do like a premium
tier on YouTube for people to pay for that?
What if we just did foot cam?
Do they allow that on YouTube? We just put
cams underneath the desks and they just stare at our
feet the entire time. What if we got Shadowband on YouTube, or they just de-platformed us because Dylan's feet?
I still get DM'd about my feet, man.
I still don't understand how you can ban shadows.
You just get rid of the sun?
My sister's first car was a Dodge Shadow convertible.
I don't even know what that is.
Look it up. Sick.
Is it sweet?
A Dodge Shadow.
Yep.
She painted the town red in that?
It was maroon
Ooh
Oh, those are sweet
I might get a classic
Look at that, dude
I might get a classic one
Oh, that is kind of sick
You know, getting your kid a first car
Of just being like a classic convertible
That's like kind of a bit car for you
But like a good first car for them
I don't hate that
I asked Parks what he wants his first car to be.
He told me a Tesla.
Oh, God.
Come on, dude.
What's wrong with you?
That ain't going to happen.
They've got the base models.
I want to get him a 98 two-door Tahoe.
So you're just basically trying to live vicariously for your son.
Just so I can drive it, yeah.
This baseball dad is really coming out here.
How sick would that be? I mean, it, yeah. This baseball dad is really coming out here. How sick would that be?
I mean, it would be sick.
It would be very retro by the time he's cruising the streets.
I don't know if our Ozone would thank you for that, Dylan.
They had good standards in 98.
Why would your dorm room thank him for anything?
Did they?
Is that the emissions up to par in 98?
I don't know.
I don't know, man.
Can we talk dangerous nights crews real quick?
You get it, Dave?
The ozone?
Do you get it?
Dude, there was a real dangerous nights crew out recently.
This crew was dangerous.
Right.
And it was nighttime.
Right.
Kanye, Madonna, Floyd Mayweather.
AB was there?
AB was there.
Yeah, holding it down.
What are they doing?
They don't need to party this hard.
Who sends out the first text?
Like, hey, let's get together.
That is my biggest question.
Do we know where they're linking?
It looks like they're in my friend's basement with no art on the walls.
They're in my parent's garage.
Floyd just got done.
That looks like one of those couches at old people's houses that you just piece together.
This is a garage.
And then Julia Fox,
his current baddie.
Julia Stiles?
Julia Cox.
What do you do when you walk into this party?
It looks like Mayweather just got done working out.
Who's that baddie on the floor?
Just vibing right now.
I don't know who that baddie is vibing though.
I don't like Madonna's dance moves.
People are saying, accusing Madonna of faking that she's on Molly.
People are like, oh, she's trying to put off the vibe that she's on all the drugs.
How old is she?
Okay, more likely scenario.
Leo rents out the theater for 25 hours and fights people the entire time,
or Madonna did Molly with Kanye.
She's 63.
She's 63?
Yeah, she's Madonna.
I mean, she was lighting things on fire in the 80s.
I mean, I know she probably has some work done.
She looks fantastic.
She does.
It's Madonna.
And she's out here just vibing.
She's a forever sex symbol.
With yay.
Yeah, what's his group chat look like?
Who started this group text?
It wasn't AB.
I know that.
I could see... Probably Madonna. Like that i could see probably madonna like i could see kanye doing it i could see kanye just being like all right like my ex is currently hooking up with the snl
dude i need to start i need to roll with like a real tight crew tonight and he was just like all
right this is what we're doing you know how when people break up like they try to win the breakup
and they'll go out and like post a bunch of stories of them living their best life like this is just kanye trying to show like no you
roll with pete davidson i roll with madonna yeah all right what's the order uh from richest to
least richest on that couch it goes richest to least richest kanye floyd madonna yeah ab
you should be ashamed julia fox he goes it It goes Mayweather, Kanye, Madonna.
No, Kanye to the Mayweather.
I got yay, then Floyd.
I go Mayweather, Kanye, Madonna.
We talking liquid?
Yeah, how licky are we?
We talking licky assets?
Oh, my God.
You have a month to get as liquid as you possibly can.
Shorten both of them.
That's not good.
We're talking licky ass.
You have a month to get liquid.
Stop.
I don't need a month.
Floyd Mayweather's net worth is $450.
Kanye's net worth is $1.8 billion.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
I'm fairly certain Floyd's sober.
Like, I don't think he partakes.
I don't know if he drinks.
I don't know if he does any kind of drugs.
So he has to be in hell in this.
You sit next to Madonna doing that,
and you're like, I got to get out of here. I'm sorry, but if I find myself. You sit next to Madonna doing that, and you're like, I gotta get out of here.
I'm sorry, but if I find myself next to a 63
year old doing Molly at a party, and I'm
sober, I'm just like, stop.
It's Madonna. I know, but anyone.
You're getting to the narc age.
She's not a narc.
She could be a narc.
What if she was
for the very first time?
What if she was an undercover fed?
She just pulls out a badge
Madonna's one of those flight people
What are they called?
An air marshal?
Yeah, Madonna's an air marshal
It's like that's a bad air marshal
She's not an air marshal
She's not very incognito
She's just a three-year-old woman
Very recognizable
Well, I guess that wouldn't
Okay, you don't have to do that
You get broken up with
And you get Kanye's phone in your possession.
And you get to text and assemble a dangerous night's crew from Kanye's phone.
Who are you texting?
The least dangerous night.
Who am I assembling?
Well, it's no one here.
No offense.
But I'm not doing sloppy steaks with Floyd, you know?
Get out of here.
Well, he would be a little intimidating.
He'd bring, like, a Louis Vuitton bag just filled with, like, stacks.
He always has one of those on him.
You know the Floyd stories, right?
That he would go to clubs in Vegas, go party, bottle service, VIP,
and then would not drink but would just jog down the strip home.
Like, he would run home.
So he would just go out, and this is why he's like training when he's
like peak 40 you know or whatever he is 41 and 0 and would just be like yep go out make an appearance
then run home i mean you're just getting that club energy you're just feeding off the club
the vibes fuel you i get it you're feeling down you just go to the club see a bunch of people
going crazy run home yeah i mean i get it if the party's going to be a banger for sure, but...
Running home from the club ain't the worst idea.
You kind of burn the cows that you just put on.
When was the last time you walked home from a bar?
Going to a club sober is the worst thing.
Have you?
You live near a bar.
No, I haven't walked home from any bar.
I did it recently.
Oh, cool, man.
What bar?
The beer plant.
The vegan restaurant that you're addicted to?
Yeah.
This dude's over here.
Are you going vegan?
Yeah, Dylan's out here eating, what, like popcorn chicken?
They have a...
That's actually cauliflower.
They have buffalo wings in quotes.
It's actually, yeah, cauliflower.
Boy, I don't like this.
They have a steak sandwich and it's actually woodier mushrooms.
What are you doing?
Yeah, they have a pressed mushroom skirt steak, which is just mushrooms. Stop pressing mushrooms. What are you doing? They have a pressed mushroom skirt steak, which is just mushrooms.
Stop pressing mushrooms.
Stop stealing their skirts for your food.
Don't steal skirts, Will.
Is the beer made from
plant? I guess all beer is top.
Wheat? I don't know.
I don't think there are any animal products in beer.
Is it kind of a bummer that the closest bar to you
is actually a vegan restaurant?
A little bit. You feel like Yuppie Scum right now.
Yeah.
I hate it.
I'm next to Abel's.
I'm going to take you.
I'm next to Abel's, dude.
I'll go, and I'll probably enjoy it, but publicly, I will hate it.
That's fine.
Like a virgin.
I'm doing Madonna.
You know, you think Dylan's got it out of his system, but then he just, he triples down.
Touched for the...
Yeah, people know the song.
I'm texting Drake first. She's 63.
She looks great. I'm all with
Drake, man. I'm texting him first.
I think that's one of the big names he has
in his phone that would be like a dangerous
night's crew participant.
I saw Drake linked with Manziel
recently. What if you actually got to
link with Drake and you guys sat down at a
restaurant and he just looked at you across the table
and grabbed his water
and just dumped it on his steak?
He's just
a big Tim Robbins guy.
Who else you calling up or throwing a text out to?
We need
some baddies up in there. Maybe just text all Kim's sisters. to? We need some baddies up in there.
Maybe just text all Kim's sisters.
Be like, get Dizek up in there.
Can we just get Dizek and Courtney?
I feel like they would join.
Travis Barker.
I feel like Dizek, his stock is down, man.
I don't know.
My brother-in-law, Drew, was wearing a Scott Dizek matching set
from his brand Talentless when we were on family vacation.
He was like, yeah, you like this matching set? Scott Dizless when we were on family vacation.
He was like, yeah, you like this matching set?
Scott Dizik.
Are you kidding?
I'm still stuck on that you called him Tim Robbins.
What's his name?
It's Tim Robinson.
Whatever.
Tim Robbins is the Shawshank guy.
Shouts to all my Tims out there.
He crawled through a sewer to get to freedom.
Is that his actual name in the movie?
No, no, no.
Tim Robbins is his name.
Is he related to Christopher? Is he still acting still?
Is he a director yet?
I mean, you don't really need...
Once you do Shawshank, don't you just take the rest of the career off?
I mean, like...
Do you think...
Yeah. I don't know if Shawshank gets you F? Yeah.
I don't know if Shawshank gets you FU money.
Yeah, but, I mean, it's on TNT every single day.
Yeah, but I don't know if he's, like, getting mailbox money from TNT.
Maybe he is.
Royalties, as they're often called.
Man, looking at Scott Disick's Instagram page, we're just on different waves, man.
His lifestyle and mine are just a little bit different.
Why?
He seems to be very wealthy.
His nights are a little bit more dangerous than yours.
They are quite dangerous compared to mine.
Your crew goes to the plant-based restaurant that you can walk to.
Yeah, and he gets on a PJ and goes to Bora Bora for a weekend with the squad.
It's just different.
That's all I'm saying.
This has nothing to do with this, but I forgot that I watched this.
This is retroactive weekend and fun recap.
I watched The Alpinist last night.
Oh, baby.
How'd it go?
Fantastic.
Fantastic documentary.
Spoiler alert.
On Netflix.
Hey, if you don't like spoilies, mash that 15 to 30 second button.
I didn't.
No, I'm telling them right now.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm sorry.
If you don't want spoilers for the Alpinist, mash that 15 second button.
Three, two, one.
Did you know he died before you watched it?
No, I didn't.
Yeah, I did.
I didn't.
Remember, I asked you.
You told me to watch it.
And I, like, not jokingly, but I said, like, did he die?
And you're like, and you're like and you go do you want
to know i'm like oh no no no i played it off way cooler i think i did that i played it off way
cooler you did we started watching it and bay was like there's no way this guy's still alive right
it's like i don't that probably some they show the older guys who are talking about him it's like
how did you make it to 63 because they had limits dav, David. Because they were hanging with Floyd. Died in 2018.
These climbers, dude.
Like, what a mind-blowing movie.
I was kind of waiting for him to, like,
follow the entire movie, and he never really did.
You know it ends that way.
I mean, if that's what you do, if that's your passion,
you know you're going to die.
I knew his life was going to end that way,
but I didn't think the documentary was going to end that way.
You can't just hit us with that.
But, I mean, awesome documentary.
It was kind of a weird transition,
and they're like, and he's gone.
But it was very casual the way they finally revealed it.
Like, yeah, he couldn't find him for a couple days,
and they had the filmmakers who were talking to search parties.
To Brett, his girlfriend.
His girlfriend, yes.
And they're like, can't find him.
Tough scene, man.
You didn't like her i hate no i don't
know i liked everybody but he definitely died the way he wanted to die question and i i'm not trying
to be disrespectful is he still in the mountain in the snow i think so i don't think there's a way
to recover him unless you got like a if you're if that's what you do and you know that's how you're
gonna die eventually is that i know i don't know if that like is you do and you know that's how you're going to die eventually, is that – I don't know if that is bad for the family.
Is there something symbolic about it?
Yeah, he's like a part of the mountain now.
Yeah, I don't know.
In Juneau, right?
Can you just thaw out and just walk away from it?
I had the thought that maybe when it –
Like Austin Powers?
Is he going to –
I don't know if our man's going to –
I don't know if Marc Andre is going to thaw out.
I'd be tight if he did.
Leclerc.
He hadn't aged a bit.
Because he's been frozen.
Like unfrozen caveman lawyer?
Yeah.
I'm a caveman.
I'm surprised that no people...
I feel like there's weird people that would go try to find him.
Just creeps.
I don't know. What? weird people that would go try to find him. Just creeps. Oh, God.
I don't know.
What?
I got the text that we were all fearing.
Y'all recording today?
I haven't been very electric on my past appearances,
but that shouldn't be a problem today.
Oh, here we go.
Micah.
Mine?
You know what?
Can we get the mute button ready?
Of Micah.
I'm going to give him,
we'll give him a minute and a half to say whatever it is he wants to say.
I don't know what he wants to talk about.
Maybe he wants to talk about Luca.
Maybe he wants to come on and talk about...
Who's the guy?
Djokovic.
Maybe he wants to talk about Austin's hottest new vegan beer spot.
Beer plant.
It's not.
Is that what it's called? Beer plant. That name is bad. Welcome to the Beer plant. It's not. Is that what it's called? Beer plant.
That name is bad.
Welcome to the beer plant.
That's not even...
Are you wearing leather shoes?
Check those at the door. No shoes.
No problem.
No shirt, no shoes, no problem at the
beer plant. Everything's free.
That's very sick. Is it free?
Everything's free at the beer plant.
What's the price range on a beer, a beer plant beer?
Major $6 per beer vibes.
Oh, yeah.
Brett, welcome to the program.
I brought you in here because you're not only doing Brett's Breaking News today,
but we also have a shampoo sponsor, and given that your hair is just looking en fuego,
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Thank you.
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Are you a wine guy?
Yeah, do they have plant-based beers?
Go to the beer plant?
Can you walk to a plant-based bar?
Yeah.
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They're like, oh, if you can, that guy doesn't wash his hair hardly at all.
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Brett, welcome to the podcast.
Thank you.
I just want to say I'm not a piece of shit for getting a New York strip pizza last night.
Let's talk about it.
Not a piece of shit.
I was.
Brett ordered a pizza last night that had New York strip on it.
Did you go to Chickiccolini's?
It makes you ask the question,
does steak belong on pizza?
Have we ruined the show?
We're so late on it already.
I am so with Brett on this one.
It's funny.
I've never tried it,
but every time I see it on the menu,
I'm always very intrigued,
and I will be trying it at some point.
Do they offer other types of za?
Correct.
They have spinach artichoke pizza,
which is also very good. Do they have any plant-based options for dinner? I hate it. They have spinach and artichoke pizza, which is also very good.
Do they have any plant-based options for dinner?
I hate it when people order the spinach artichoke anything.
They have a prosciutto fig, which is obviously not plant-based, but figs are.
I hate that worse than what you did.
Why?
No, prosciutto fig's a goated combination.
On pizza?
Fig?
Never tried it, but.
You don't get figgy with it?
Please don't do what you just did.
Boy, I don't care if it's a spread on a pizza, a chutney, a jam, whatever it is.
You know the difference between chutney and jam?
Yeah, we know.
Brett, what type of sauce was on this steak pizza?
What type of sauce?
Yeah, was it red sauce?
Was it an au jus?
Yeah, it was red sauce.
Okay, what were the other toppings?
It could have been Marzano, I'm not sure, but it was red.
What were the other toppings on your steak pizza?
Cheese, basil, and steak.
No vegetables?
No veggies.
No, like, caramelized onion?
Nope.
They could have sprinkled some blue cheese up on there.
Well, I mean, basil is certainly a vegetable.
You said it was thinly sliced.
Can you give me, like, a rough estimate of the dimensions?
It looked like a quarter to half inch slice.
I mean, it looked like deli meat was on my pizza.
Are you sure this was a New York strip?
It says it literally in the name.
I know, but you don't think they were back there just like taking a tri-tip
and just pulling the wool over your eyes?
A tri-tip.
You can't do that.
Tri-tip.
Everyone else did.
You got to trust them, man.
I'm going to go.
I'm going to go.
I think it was a skirt steak.
There was parm on it, too. A little ch-ch-ch-ch. You asked me if I wanted red pepper. I said, nah. I'm going to go. I think it was a skirt steak. There was parm on it too.
He asked me if I wanted red pepper.
I said, nah, I'm good.
I thought about it, Brad.
It's a salty meal.
You don't feel great after it.
But the New York strip was phenomenal.
By the end of it, I didn't want the carbs anymore.
I was just forking off the strip.
Eating that.
Don't say forking off. Forking off the strip. I was forking off the the strip eating that don't say forking off fork it off
the strip i was forking off the strip i don't hate it i don't love it thank you the more i think
about it i obviously get sausage on pizza a lot of people don't know that but i do and this isn't
that different that place hasn't disappointed me yet. It's different. Not once. And you saw Carson Wentz. And Carson Wentz was
there, yes. Okay.
People thought I was like
some guy that looks like Carson. No, no, no. Was his hair
sleek back?
You know what he looks like. He has a very short haircut.
I don't know what he looks like. I'm just wondering
if he had sloppy steaks or what
he was doing. If I saw this guy,
if I saw Carson Wentz in a restaurant, there's no way
that I would know it was a professional football player.
He's a large guy.
Dude, he's 6'5".
Dylan, the fact that I even watched the Cowboys game last night is amazing.
I'll whip Carson Wentz's ass.
Have you still never been to Carve?
He kicked the shit out of me, too.
I've been to Carve once.
One time?
Pro for the dinner.
If I'm being honest, I've been spreading the gospel of Carve ever since.
I was talking to people the other day.
I was like, you know where we should go for a fun dinner one night?
Carve.
They're like, oh, is that that place over by Dillon's?
And I was like, yeah.
It's actually legit.
You might have a waiter who was born in the same hospital as you.
Dude, stayed a few states over.
That's crazy.
You might have a bartender who knows his wine,
and then he recommends the most expensive bottle on the menu.
Or you might have a wine guy who you're straight-up boys with
who doesn't recognize you when you try and call him out
in front of the school. To be fair, Dave did
follow up and buy
that exact wine because it was so good afterwards.
The Desert Door. No, not Desert Door.
Eight Years in the Desert. Hard to find.
Total Wine
has failed me a couple times recently.
I guess it's not Total Wine. It's like Partial
Wine more like. Dylan's just a speck-like
stand. It's so lame.
Total wine is way better.
Brett, since you're here, do you notice anything different about me?
Dude, look at his posture.
Your posture.
It's part of my new initiative.
I'm trying to maintain better posture throughout the podcast. I'm trying to maintain better posture myself.
Complement his posture.
He's really so gorgeous.
Dude, how's the episode going?
Well, pretty good.
I think I'm nailing it.
Especially because his posture is so good.
They keep passing me the rock, and I just can't stop shooting.
Right.
Yeah.
Okay.
Dude, Dave, how's the air up there?
They're saying that my jokes have been slam dunks.
Slam dunks.
This is cool.
Actually, you do look bigger than Will now.
Well, my posture is like that of a sock.
Yeah, like there's nothing.
My spine is licky.
When Dylan was here last week post-Cove and KJ was sitting next to me
because he didn't want to, you know, we didn't know.
Dylan was fine.
According to the CDC, anywhere from five to 15 days.
Turns out KJ's life.
Randy still might be contagious.
Randy went back to the place where he crowd surfed
and got the vid.
It was still lurking.
Is Randy hungover today?
He's got two day
hangover vibes. He ate hot dogs in bed.
He ate like a seven year old yesterday.
Parks saw that meal on the story. He's like, let's go.
Parks was like, wait, is someone doing anime and hot dog macaroni?
I'm in.
Randy was doing a different kind of anime.
Tentacles?
It's not fair.
Incognito.
Hey, is that all you ate yesterday?
Oh, God.
It's his only meal.
Three hot dogs in that bowl.
He didn't finish it.
He put it in the fridge and went back.
I don't even think he put it in the fridge.
I think he put it on the bedside table.
I was hoping he tried to class it up and he got like some,
a nice, maybe an Italian sausage or something.
But he was a ballpark Frank.
Which makes me happy.
Oscar Mayer wieners.
And he didn't heat it up.
Three Oscar Mayer wieners for one box of Kraft Mac.
That's crazy.
That ratio is crazy.
Is he the new glizzy guy? He's the glizzy Mac. That ratio is crazy.
Is he the new glizzy guy? He's that glizzy Mac, yeah.
We're coming up on Bit Madness. We might need to up our
hot dog content in relation to Dylan before.
Is it already coming up?
We got like six weeks until March.
When CBS played the March Madness
theme song last night,
got the juices
going a little bit.
Tweet that in Masters.
Hey man, don't talk to me during Masters week.
I'm thinking about taking a whole week off.
Are you going to download the app?
Hey, I never deleted it.
It's in my home row.
I freaking love the Masters.
Is it in your thumb zone, dude?
Yeah, it's on my home bar or whatever.
I don't know.
You want to do breaking news now?
No.
Yeah, I guess.
I want to leave.
Okay. No, no, I guess. I want to leave. Okay.
No, no, do it.
Okay.
Dave, since your posture has been so good,
I'll reward you with the first overall pick.
He deserves it.
Do you want to go catching Z's, parallel narking, or H2, oh no?
Is the narking one about Micah?
He's not going to like that.
It could be.
He's going to actually like the story, though.
I want to go with H2, no.
H2, oh, no.
Oh, no.
A Tennessee man went to a Cracker Barrel in 2014, Dave,
where he was served, wait for it, not water, but hand sanitizer.
He has won his court case and is receiving $750,000 in damages.
That's a long court case.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Getting hammered?
Yeah, he started pounding hand, EcoSan hand sanitizer.
So you can get $750,000 just by drinking a little hand sanitizer from Waffle House.
What were the damages?
What happened to him?
He has serious burns in his esophagus and mouth that still cause pain to this day.
Just from one sip, unclear about how much he guzzled the hand sanitizer.
What did it sound like, you think, when he took a big glug of it?
Was it the jelly kind or the liquid one?
That's not what I was looking for.
That is not what I was looking for.
Eco-san industrial.
That's what I was looking for.
I was trying to do that, but it came out differently.
Isn't it just like drinking green alcohol, basically? That's what I thought. I don't trying to do that But it came out differently Isn't it like
Just like drinking
Green alcohol basically
That's what I thought
I don't know
You're the plant based guy
Industrial
I don't know
I don't know how
Those two are correlated
Fucking Robert Plant over here
He and Santa Tata Martini's
He originally asked
For $150,000
But the jury said
He deserves more
What?
Saying that he should
Is this guy
The luckiest guy in the world?
$3.6 million
in non-economic
and $730,000
in economic, but because Tennessee
has a cap in place on economic damages, you only get
$750,000 total.
Tot reform, guys.
Yeah, so
be careful if you're a crack barrel in
Marion County. I'm not going to be careful. If anything,
I'm going to drink it as fast as I possibly can and hope that
I can turn that meal into a lawsuit.
Yeah, plus you catch a little buzz at the same time.
You kind of lit.
Man, after the holidays, I think I need tart reform because I ate so many sweets.
Okay.
You fucking killed that.
You've got a new audience, and I'm trying to rebrand a little bit.
I'm trying to be kind of the Gaffigan of the curtain.
This guy with his new posture is just absolutely on fire.
Not to pull back the curtain.
Did you see our numbers last week?
Sneaky bust.
Don't say that.
I wasn't here for most of it.
Tell us about them.
Do we feast in the beginning of the year?
We absolutely feast in January.
That's what we do.
Are we stocked up right now?
I don't know if we're stocked up, but the buy signals are happening look at this the buy signals i love it strong
bye baby jim kramer what a psycho what would our what would our um our you know the bat signal
what would our buy signal be where it's like you're flashing up there let people know what
we're doing it's not actually a noise it's a It's an image cast up onto the sky. What is our image?
It's Randy's butt cheeks
from the Bahamut
that I took.
Randy's little dumper?
Yeah.
I think it's that new
coffee cup logo
that Randy's working on.
It's Dylan eating
a plant-based
chicken sandwich
or something.
Is Randy wearing
a truck stop t-shirt
right now?
No, he's wearing a...
It's from Tyler's.
What's Tyler's?
Isn't Tyler's
like a Bucky's?
It's a local sporting goods store
that sells shirts and shit.
Randy...
You can get your key cost
in a weird shirt shop.
Have I told you guys
what Randy's been doing lately?
Randy's been ordering stuff
unnecessarily from Amazon
and returning it
through the company
just so he can...
If you return it at Kohl's
to Amazon,
you get $5 in Kohl's cash.
What?
Dude, I think that's... So Randy's out here you get $5 in Kohl's cash. What?
So Randy's out here just getting $5 in Kohl's cash with every Amazon order we do.
Randy's money laundering.
Is that why we were like, Randy, you need a mic?
And he ordered a $28 one, and we were all like, hey, that seems kind of cheap for a podcast mic.
He's like, no, it's fine.
And then he had to send it back.
Yeah, he's ordering tiny little USB cords and just returning them for $5 Kohl's cash every time. Like the ones that don't work when you put them in your car and you buy for $5 and your phone doesn't charge.
You're like, oh, that's weird.
The device not supported.
Yeah, I bought the $6 cord.
It doesn't work.
It's a real fun one.
Support this device, bitch.
Will, you want to hear the story about Austin?
I would love to.
There's a QR code scheme appearing on parking meters.
Oh.
So somebody's going around slapping stickies on parking meters
that are just connecting to their bank account.
This is objectively a good idea.
Don't condone it, but...
My cap.
That's pretty good.
That's not good.
Boat just QR code stickers have been found
stuck to more than two dozen parking meters across Austin
and authorities are investigating the matter.
What if we did one?
It's a QR code.
We're not going to steal your money. We just want to earn your business. So it just goes investigating the matter. What if we did one? It's a QR code. We're not going to steal your money.
We just want to earn your business. So it just
goes to the pod.
It takes you to a clip of Dylan talking about it.
That is guerrilla marketing. That's like what we should do at the
bathroom at Woodrow's where we just
put a QR code to our podcast. I think so.
You can't tell. That bathroom
is sacred. They have not changed the
bikini spread that's been there
for 28 years. Correct.
It is Sports Illustrated swimsuit
models from 1999 to
2006. Dave, are you going to restart your computer?
No, I'm not. For your Windows updates?
No, I'm not.
What's the longest you guys are willing to park somewhere
with a meter
where you'll run in and do something without
worrying about getting towed?
Or a ticket. Without paying? Yeah. What's the longest amount of time that you're willing to run into somewhere and get something without worrying about getting towed or a ticket. Oh, without paying?
Yeah.
What's the longest amount of time that you're willing to run into somewhere and get something done before you run out to your car?
Five minutes.
I don't think at all.
I'm very paranoid of the boot.
It would be a high-stress five minutes, but I would do it.
You know what I'm guilty of is paying for parking.
For example, a southern American statehouse
downtown where I do
work a lot.
Yeah, that's the one. And I park
for like two hours and then stay
a good extra 45 minutes. Can't do that.
Same spot, never been ticketed.
Ooh. Bad boy shit.
So I think if they know I chilled and if
I put some coins in the meter, they're like, okay.
Okay.
I'd accuse Dylan of this parking scheme, but I don't think you know how QR codes work.
Okay.
I'm also not a thief, so.
Or is that?
Jerk.
Dylan's looking for a QT code.
I thought he was a QAnon code guy.
That's true.
Can we just go to the next story?
Randy, can you help me out here?
The newest TikTok trend is Sleepy dave oh oh my god uh
doctors are advising against this horrendously toxic trait where you cook chicken in nyquil
that's chicken fried chicken no it's sleepy chicken it's sleepy chicken known as nyquil
chicken or sleepy chicken the trend which uh which many chalk up to being a joke
has surfaced on video platforms like TikTok.
People put chicken breasts in a pan, pour the medicine over it until it absorbs the
liquid, and then cook it.
That's not a banger for sure.
That is terrible.
Can you deep fry it?
Unclear.
But what happens is that when you cook it in NyQuil, the water and other filler ingredients boil off,
and so you just get super concentrated NyQuil in these things,
and it's very, very bad for you.
Lean tendies?
Tendies?
It's good.
Also, you don't want to stand above the pot when it's happening
because the fumes are absorbed into your lungs, and it knocks you out.
That wind that Dave talked about the other day blew some smoke down our chimney
when I lit a fire the other day
and it caused quite the smoke-out situation
in our living room.
I think your flue was just closed.
I'm worried that the wind was blowing it closed
as it was happening.
The wind was blowing your flue closed.
I'm worried something was shutting it
because it was not a good situation for a couple minutes there.
You think wind blew smoke down your chimney?
Dog.
I don't think it works like that, fool.
I think it does.
There's probably going to be some chimney,
all the chimney sweep hardos out there.
Hundreds if not thousands of years of chimneys.
I can give you my chimney sweep number.
You're the first one that ever had wind blow smoke
into your place.
Don't worry about it.
I'm different.
Sorry.
Not going to apologize for being different.
Dave's got a chimney sweep on Speed Doll.
On retainer, I think.
Is he in your dangerous night's crew?
His posture's waning.
I've got to go.
Dave's not answering the question if he has a chimney sweep in his dangerous night's crew? Guys, posture's waning. I've got to go. Dave's not answering the question if he has a chimney sweep in his dangerous night's crew.
He just ran off the second he got asked that question.
They're all out wearing top hats and shit.
We've got to get out of here.
Let's leave.
Bye.