Circling Back - Bill Splitting & Concert Selfies
Episode Date: July 19, 2023The logistics of space intercourse, a viral TikTok about a $4,700 dinner tab inspires a conversation about bill splitting, Gigi Hadid's Cayman Island arrest, who sucks the most in the Miranda Lambert ...concert selfie situation, This Weekend in Fun, and more. Enjoy a free two-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (16:25) Gigi Hadid Arrest for Weed in Cayman Islands (26:00) Who Sucks The Most: Miranda Lambert Edition (38:30) What’s the barometer for splitting a check? (51:40) Whatting In Space? (1:01:00) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Mugsy: www.mugsy.com (STEAM for 10% off) AG1: www.drinkag1.com/circling (FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase) Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from austin tex. My name's Will DeFreeze. To my left, David Roth.
So there's a story we're doing later in the show, and it's from the Daily Mail. Dailymail.com is the source. And I'm not going to tell you what that is. It's a little bit of a surprise. But I was
looking at the links on the side of the dailymail.com and one caught my eye and if you guys will indulge
me i'd like to read the headline tell me if this is something we should talk about go for it dave
thousands of 10-inch penis fish wash up on a beach fishermen flock to the shore to grab them all
gotta catch them all i mean what are they doing i want to at least read more see what's going
what's really going on there fishermen have since reportedly flocked to the beach to gather
them up for bait see we're doing a lot they know what they're doing they know what they're doing
the 10 inch pen 15 fish what's that fish look like david
who's the guy they named these fish after because it wasn't me yeah do you want to know what they
look like they look like they look like penises it's a big penis fish yeah it looks like a pile
dude what did you expect i didn't expect them to look that penis like honestly it's very it has to
look very penis like if you're going to call it a straight up penis fish that's not what they're
actually called though right well that's not their... That's not their
genus and species.
Formal name is
Eurechis unicinctus,
of course.
You probably knew that.
But the creatures
flooded onto the beach
after a heavy storm
on Monday afternoon.
This is not an infrequent
phenomenon in Argentina
with stacks of the sea worms
having previously lined the shores in the south of the country following torrential weather.
They're uncircumcised.
El Nino year.
Yeah.
Spanish for the Nino.
Do I have to intro Dylan today?
Why are you so mad at me today?
I'm going to continue this. Why are you so mad at me today? Are you going to continue this?
Dylan.
You got beef with me.
Let's talk and do it.
Dylan did something earlier that is like borderline like weirdly unforgivable.
What did I do?
He was singing R.E.M.
And it was so much worse than the other things that you've sang in the past.
How was that unforgivable?
I'm having trouble like even looking at you.
Should I give the people a
little taste no no you brought it up yeah i know but it's just because i can't stop thinking about
it like it was awful if i don't sing a little snippet they're gonna wonder what it sounded like
that offended you we'll do it on the voicemails you guys can tune in tomorrow on patreon.com
slash circling back podcast for dylan's performance of losing my religion by r.e.m
let me do like the like five seconds here hold on
um before you do that randy's got something to put up on the screen um is it a penis we're gonna
get flagged on youtube if this gets our youtube account that's fucking vile what if this gets our
youtube account taken down then you this is all on you guys getting it back why is it a testicle
don't does i don't think it's a testicle i think it's just part of the fish what if that's its actual testicle though that'd be weird okay i've seen enough
that's that's grotesque it's a penis fish dylan
it's a penis fish that's a no i was gonna it's a delicacy in some parts of the world
how do they serve it um soy sauce and vinegar really sashimi i
mean i sashimi oh you put soy sauce and vinegar on pretty much anything and i'll entertain it
soy sauce for me is a top five condiment probably top three it's not i love it top three soy sauce
no no no i i would unpackage this but i fear it would take a long time no no no i would pack
there's no way soy sauce is a top three condiment for anybody.
They should call it the package fish.
I do love soy sauce, but that's an outlandish statement.
There's so few things you can use it on.
Hey, remember that one pledge who had to chug soy sauce and he died from sodium poisoning?
The story back in the day.
This frat blog covered it.
No, I don't remember that.
That really happened?
Yeah. That's sad. How much sodium do you have to have? How much do you chug? story back in the day this frap blog covered it no i don't remember that that really happened yeah
that's sad how much sodium do you have to have how much do you chug probably about that much
in a bottle no there's no way i don't know maybe i can't kill a person dude look it up there's no
way that's i don't know i don't know how big the bottle was enough to kill a little fucker, though. I accidentally spelled it fart-ternity in my search.
That's...
Nope.
Nope.
Nope!
That's me in the corner.
Just kidding.
Look up the story, though.
I'll find it.
Fuck y'all.
I'll find it.
I don't really...
Hey, Dave, can you tap me when I can start talking,
when I can unplug my ears and start talking?
Yes.
I just don't know what's more depressing, the dead dead pledge story or just dylan singing rem not happy with
what i just you found it googled did you find it dude he drank a quart dude really that's a lot
like that's so much right yeah dude you can't be drinking that much soy sauce there's another
dude who didn't deserve this you can die from drinking too much water all right just know that
if you're out there don't don't drink an entire quart of soy sauce yeah please don't drink lethal
amounts of soy i didn't know sodium like i i thought i would assume that if sodium killed
you it'd be a lot more than just a quart of soy sauce so oh it wasn't all it wasn't that long ago
no damn that's sad man r.i.p
be careful with your soy sauce folks
it's still in my top five do you have a number one like is there is there a natural number one
condiment for you because i'm trying to think of mine and i don't think i have a natural number
one i sort of enjoy them all. What is salsa, technically?
See, I hesitate to say condiment, because there's so...
But, like, it's not not a condiment.
You're right.
What do you think, Randy?
Is it a salsa?
Or is it a condiment?
I'm just saying number one is definitely ranch.
That's the Midwestern for me.
But I would say...
I don't think salsa's a condiment.
It's weird.
Hey, who was it?
Why is ranch a condiment, but salsa's not?
Ranch is a condiment dressing in a dip,
where I think salsa's just more of a dip.
But salsa could be literally any of those.
It's just a matter of how you want to use it.
Maybe it is.
I liked it.
I liked it when that guy who works here said,
not enough people respect mustard.
Or he said, mustard's underrated.
As if it's not like universally yeah every sandwich shop go to like any restaurant like one of the two condiments
they give you is mustard was that a brick john yeah yeah it sounds like brick just not talked
about enough mustard yellow mustard how do you feel about one of my buddies said that his all-time
condiment is uh tartar sauce how sauce. How does that make you feel?
I say this dude eats a lot of fish.
I didn't know how to handle it when he told me that because I was like, you know, I get it.
Like a good tartar sauce can be really, really good.
But at the same time, how much are you eating tartar sauce?
You're not putting it on anything but fish.
It's just for fish.
Right?
And just for fried fish, right?
Or is it...
I mean, you can put it on any.
I guess you could.
My dad makes a good tartar sauce for his grilled whitefish.
Okay.
Shout out to my dad's tartar sauce.
The consistency is a little, but it is good.
There's a place down the street from here that's got some of the best tartar sauce I've ever had.
Baker, was it?
Baker Street Pub.
Baker Street.
Yep.
Tell them we'll see.
They'll have no idea who I am.
We should go there for lunch again and be the only people other than that giant party
next door.
Rated, I used to go there for lunch all the time.
How's that place making it?
I don't know.
I think it's-
They own the building.
I think it's cracking on the weekends.
Nah.
You don't think it's bussing?
Is that what you're saying?
Nah, I don't think it's bussing.
David doesn't think it's bussing.
It could be.
Or Will doesn't think it's bussing.
It could be.
What does-
So, Parks is a fish and chips guy.
We learned that recently.
Oh, yeah.
Big.
Does he- What is his go-to dippage?
He's eight, so he's a ketchup guy.
Okay.
Yeah.
He hasn't really fucked with the vinegar yet, that malt vinegar.
It stinks, but it tastes delicious.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Love that stuff, man.
What about just straight-up cocktail sauce?
That's not really a fish and chips, John.
No, but it is a seafood ballpark.
But the only thing you put that on is shrimp and oysters.
I love cocktail sauce.
Cocktail sauce tastes good, but it can't be on your top condiments
because I refuse to believe that anyone's using it enough to justify it.
No, you're right.
We should do a draft of sauces.
So it's anything, but it has to have sauce in the name.
Do you want a little preview of an exactly five minutes prompt that I like?
Yeah.
It's naming your favorite sauce from every major fast food restaurant.
Oh, I really like that.
It's good.
Can we just use that here?
No, no.
David, we should just use that for a segment.
Don't cheat the system, man.
That sounds fun, though.
We'll do it, dog.
Ooh, Arby's sauce versus horsey sauce.
How's divided?
Nah.
I don't even know what horsey sauce is.
That's easy.
It's Arby's sauce.
I don't know what horsey sauce is.
We could have thrown hands today if you would have said it was horsey.
I think horsey is really, really good.
It's a top tier sauce.
Mix them together?
Is it made with real horse?
You don't call it Arby's sauce when you're Arby's if it's not gas.
It did stake their name to it. why is it called horsey sauce because it's got
horseradish in it it's made out of horses made it made that connection made it in glue
oh okay from hooves right my hooves my hooves my hooves my hooves hey it's time for will's five star review oh it's time to intro me but of the week
it's fine we can get to your thing don't shivery you guys ready for this one we'll get to your
thing this is from cole's not spelled the way that randy wants it to be spelled one one one one okay
recent revelation recent revelation five stars this is complimentary to all of us it's
gonna sound like i'm only complimenting myself but this is complimentary to all of us okay well i'll
see for myself i know dylan is hot there you go there you go and dave is everyone's favorite
okay okay but low key will's the most photogenic oh the only reason i read this
one is because the other review we got this week wasn't as good and so i'm just going with this one
which is very complimentary of all of us i don't even think that's true but uh thank you for your
five-star review coles one one one one you do look good in a photograph man yeah it's because i'm
good at editing so i just facetune like everything dylan chivry ladies and gentlemen thank you for the review look at this photograph how's that one
go have you read the good book have you read revelations that's weird i feel like you just
introed me and yet here you are doing david koresh so i don't know dylan um i don't know man you
haven't been to warship lately just feel like you've had your time you're everyone's favorite
you get the intro first. This is why.
Because I know the good book.
You call him the Bleach Davidian.
Over my shit?
What'd you say?
The Bleach Davidian over here, dude.
Come on, dude.
This guy's the Ranch Davidian, this fucking Midwesterner.
Look at him over there.
I had a dream the other night that in a way to get out of all Dylan's welched bets, he
said that we could tattoo anything on his butt.
And I don't remember what we tattooed in the dream but that was that was the deal that we could do anything we wanted i'm supposed to get the logo tattooed on my butt except it's my face
for all three of us yeah yeah but we all know you're never going to do any like you if you
decided to actually bleach where you're supposed to bleach uh i would let you out of several bets
it will okay i'll do it how many all of them like clean slate because then you gotta i think it'll
be pretty clean down there yeah then you gotta get your fade if i do this yeah i'm still gonna do
that i just haven't you're gonna look done it yet i'm gonna no i didn't i didn't say like i don't
have to get a straight up fade i just have to get like a fuck boy haircut in a way.
You got to get like lines and shit.
Like the super fade with the lines.
I was just going to get like lines and stuff.
I was going to get like super fade.
I mean I can get super fade.
It's just going to grow out like three days.
You're going to have to pull the tape on it.
But if I bleach the tube hole, you're going to do it?
Well, you're technically supposed to do the hair thing too?
Not technically.
I volunteered to do that to replace a bet that I didn't pay up on.
Okay.
Dylan.
That's true.
It's gotten so convoluted at this point with you just welching.
People are calling you Raquel on the low low.
They're calling me a what?
They're calling you Raquel on the low low.
Oh, Raquel Welch.
I don't think anyone's calling me that.
This isn't how I remember it.
I thought you were
gonna get a Southside Shag a South Dallas Shag specifically I don't know what that is that's
what I thought but I want to get the haircut that the kid on TikTok has that makes his head look
like a spaceship where it goes like out hey I have to uh confess something the other day I was in the
sauna at the gym oh wash your ass and this gen z-er with one of those
e-boy haircut set next to me yeah and i was like oh here we go nice kid nice fucking kid man
shout out preston if you're out there you probably know you shout out preston no he was just like he
was like talking about like hey man would you work out today and start a little conversation
nice dude that doesn't happen very often.
College?
High school?
He went real hard the night before.
Gap year?
Real hard the night before.
He's like, yeah, man, you're sweating it out.
So is he in college?
What's our kid's deal?
Mid-20s. Does he want an internship?
Is that Gen Z, mid-20s?
Borderline?
Borderline.
Does he want an internship or anything?
Maybe.
Yo, Preston, if you're listening, dog.
You cool this place up a little bit.
Roll up.
Did he ask what you do for a living? We didn't get there. What did Preston, if you listen to it, dog. You'd cool this place up a little bit. Roll up. Ask what you do for a living.
We didn't get there.
What did Preston do for a living?
He sold some kind of tech, some software sales or something.
A lot of those tech jobs, tech sales jobs in Austin, as I've learned.
Yeah.
Good kid, man.
So don't judge a book by its fuckboy cover.
Wow, that's a beautiful story. Thank you for that, Dylan. Yeah. Thank kid, man. So don't judge a book by its fuckboy cover. Wow.
That's a beautiful story.
Thank you for that, Dylan.
Yeah.
Thank you for that.
I think that's a good way to close our Fun and Easy banter today.
I think so, too.
That was beautiful.
Yeah.
That was beautiful.
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You want the whole gamut.
I want them all.
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What did you guys know about the Caymans?
Just know their cider very well.
That's good, Dave.
I've never been to the Cayman Islands, man.
What's up with it?
I've never been either.
Can't bring weed there.
Actually, you kind of can bring weed there, actually. Gigi Hadg hadid you guys familiar with her she's very beautiful to me i didn't realize it was
i like the hadid sisters i think they're i think they got a cool vibe to them i uh i enjoy uh just
you know their general good looks which i think they they've made a career is that why they're
famous because they're hot uh well they're nepo babies shall i tell the nepo babies out there what is the what do the parents do uh mom's a model oh okay famous uh supermodel the dad
just a rich i think it's just a rich guy i don't know hmm yeah it's a deed how'd you know that dude
they're on some show that i know i was just saying that his last their last name was indeed
uh remember that yeah
their dad's a real estate developer oh remember bella when she was like yo homie could like get
it that was a tough scene for all the hadid heads out there like you're like your boy well this says
uh she was arrested and fined over cannabis possession of the cayman islands uh she traveled
to the cayman islands with a medical license and some weed on her and it turns out it's medically
legal there so they just kind of gave her a slap on the wrist medical license and some weed on her, and it turns out it's medically legal there, so they just kind of
gave her a slap on the wrist and told her to get on her way.
Is this deterring anybody from
traveling with weed to the Cayman Islands?
Wait.
I think
they just confiscated it and told her to skedaddle.
So, she didn't
get the Brittany Griner treatment? No, no.
The Caymans are not holding her for –
we're not going to have to trade an arms dealer for her.
We're not going to have to trade the merchant of death for her.
Merchant of death, yeah.
Dr. Doom for a basketball player with a weed pen.
Oh, yeah.
Dylan doesn't like Brittany Griner.
No, I like Brittany Griner.
She used to just wreck Texas back in the day.
I don't pay attention
to women's basketball um but what did she average against texas back i think like 35 and 12
i could see her putting up like 16 reps dude seven dimes she was low-key like yeah i don't
care baylor joker i don't care good for her fucking embarrassed y'all dude i do why'd you make y'all look like small hordes saw him off dude yeah um
anyway i don't think i deserve any of that dude go baylor women's basketball dog yeah
fuck you powerhouse program dude that's good that's great man i went to every game that's
the merchant of death i see a point being that the trade was lopsided. We can all agree. You think he's back doing more like deadly things?
Probably.
He's back in his lair, like underground.
He's like, I can't believe they traded me for her.
That was sick.
He's like, dude, that one season, she was all conference.
She really took it to Texas that season.
Dude, she was.
Yeah.
Well, I hope she finds justice.
I have a question.
How do you get caught with weed when you fly private into the Cayman Islands?
Do you get searched?
I thought you didn't get searched when you flew private into places. You still got to go through customs, right?
I guess.
Yeah.
You can't just let anybody in just because you're rich.
You got to boof it.
What do you do if you...
Let's say that you're at a bachelor party in Las Vegas.
Weed's legal in Vegas.
So one of your boys buys a couple J's and puts them in his bag.
And then when you guys are checking – you're going through security.
You're going through TSA.
He gets popped and a guard comes over and he's like, hey, you've got to come this way.
Do you just let your boy out there or do you stick behind?
He sprints away and maybe trips over a cactus or something yeah maybe yeah maybe you think the
merchant of death was like they still still wait wait i got traded for the naysmith award and
wooden award winner they go they're googling her achievement 40 and oh that's how the merchant of
death talks he's russian it's fine right um back to what you're saying she was ap player of the
year i think you just gotta keep you just gotta keep going man i was reading some comments on
something the other day that was like oh yeah i saw someone it was this it was on the comments
from this story on some random site it was people talking about how they saw someone get arrested in
the airport i was like i've never seen anyone get like taken away by a guard in the airport
dude my okay this is interesting i just remembered my friend was telling me a story um
like a week and a half ago so he has a concealed carry license and he keeps he keeps a loaded um
pistol with him a lot of time he could he lost his gun for a while which is
pretty bad in itself lee he lee chatfield he couldn't he like he misplaced it wait where was he i'm getting to that okay he and his wife
were going on a trip oh no he had it in his duffel bag dude sends it through airport security
has no idea it's in there and they they shut it down and there's like a little you know
there and they they shut it down and there's like a little you know all the agents over there they're like meeting like discussing how to handle situations he's like what's going on huddling up
he has no idea like what's going on my my back my bag's right there can i just grab it and they're
like sir no please what's going on over there so they pick up the bag so whose bag is this he goes
it's mine can i go he goes they're like no there's a loaded gun
in here they took him down cops of course cops show up they took him down he said there's like
around the back side of the airport is where they take like you can get detained down there
whatever i didn't know what you walk like outside the airport and around and there's a little room
back there was dave back there after doubling down too many times? Yeah, Dave was back there. And got detained in the backside.
His blood was still on the floor.
Detained by backside, daddy.
Anyway, after about 30 minutes of questioning,
and they did background check and all that,
they let him bring it back to his car,
and he got on his plane.
He didn't miss his flight.
That's probably fair.
That's probably fair.
If your background check checks out,
you don't have anything else going on.
And he had the license for it.
Do you have TSA PreCheck?
I think that changes things too.
I don't know if you have PreCheck.
I think if you're doing the – if you got like – I don't know what you would call it.
Is there like status within TSA, like PreCheck or Global Entry, whatever you have, Clear?
If you have Clear, they should let you bring a loaded pistol.
They should let you bring a Thule if you have Clear.
It's like, dude, I'm paying like $200 a year.
You're not going to use this thing, are you?
I get the drift that like a lot of the TSA people just like would rather not deal with some of this shit.
Well, like they probably know like, oh man, if he sent it through security, he probably wasn't going to use it.
He had no idea it was in there.
Yeah.
I think they disbelieved me.
Same thing happened to Barry Switzer in the 90s.
Yeah, I know.
Have you guys seen the new machines that they have at airport security? They look croissants you told me about it dude they're slow as fuck if you see if you see a security line and
they've got the croissant machine and then in the old machine go to the old machine it's faster
okay it's brutal what's so good about it so i was trying to zoom in here dave to see like they give
like 3d renderings of what they find so So what you used to see was the infrared.
I guess, I mean, I am not using the correct words at all.
But now you can see the 3D view of it.
So if you have a penis fish in there,
they're going to be like,
this guy chopped someone's dick off
and put it in his carry-on.
Loaded D in his bag.
This guy's got a Thule in there.
Hey, I like to think that the TSA agent
pulled the pistol out and did the thing
where in one fell swoop, he popped the clip out and like took it apart he had he had to
discharge and get rid of all the ammunition they confiscated that but he got to keep the gun
how many career dunks do you think britney grinder had i hope very many
serious question i have the number career does this include college and this is all college i'm
sorry this is only her college career dunks three third uh i was gonna say 13 18 wow 18
dude she put up numbers man she's very tall six seven i'm not i'm not prepared to move on
oh she's doing a russian dealer. She put on big numbers.
Big numbers.
Big, big numbers.
You're trying to convince your boys that it was a fair trade.
No, no, no.
You did not see her that year.
No, I promise.
You throw it to her in the paint.
Man, she's a weapon.
You're like, yeah, but you're the merchant of death.
She's a basketball.
I know, I know.
It's crazy, right?
No, man.
She'll back you down
it took me about 30 minutes but i figured out my russian accent okay yeah i feel like you hit your
stride unexpectedly and it felt good i mean i'm looking at her stats right now and i can't
underrated pass her is she i don't i don't
Underrated passer.
Is she?
I don't... Her best season was probably
her senior year.
She was putting up about 24 a game.
She was putting up
nine rebounds. I'm surprised she didn't
average more than... I'm surprised she didn't average
a double-double, honestly.
That's kind of surprising.
You're going to crash those boards, Britt.
Mike Greiner. If you finish the season with 9.4 That's kind of surprising. Yeah, you got to crash those boards, Britt.
Greiner.
If you finish the season with 9.4 rebounds a game,
you got to go into those last few games. He's absolutely starving for rebounds.
You got to start triple-double hunting.
Do you think her bounce pass is wet?
Oh, it's the wittest bounce pass.
That's good.
All right.
You kind of went different country there
it's i've kind of gone from like kazakhstan to to mongolia to russia which is all adjacent it's a
good trip man thought about doing that yeah we thought about doing that for our honeymoon
i actually we went to a veranda lambert concert for our honeymoon actually
oh man we tried to take selfie. She stopped the show.
The fuck?
Who's,
who's to blame?
Who are we blaming
in this situation?
We blame Miranda Lambert.
We blaming these,
these moms.
I'm still on team mom here.
I don't know who's team I'm on.
I have never been more split. Did you, did you check the the new evidence i have checked the new evidence and it's hard to
ride for these these like all right let's set the table a little bit more yeah yeah the context
set it dude so yeah miranda lambert was performing and she was at concert uh stopped the show she
started to sing a song she stopped it um about you know 10 seconds in that's what you should do because
because there was a group of women on the front row who were taking so she called it a selfie
turns out it wasn't even a selfie it's just a picture yeah that's an l on miranda's part you
gotta know that makes her sound like a fucking old person she said i'm just up here trying to
sing some country damn music and she
said country damn music she did that's awkwardly worded the video was posted and a lot of people
some people were on her side i guess some people most people however were on the side of the women
who were taking the picture um i was she she embarrassed these people and because they were
just taking a picture right i was a team mom initially
just like look they pay their money they can take they take a photo they're trying to capture some
mems some memories but new evidence has come to light and there is apparently this went on for
not just this one photo they were like right down by the stage posing for pics.
And I could see how that would be really annoying for other fans.
Apparently the flash was quite bright.
That's embarrassing.
If your mom's taking a pic, you're at a concert,
and the flash is just popping, everybody's looking at you.
You're on stage, man.
No, not even for her, but I'm talking about for the other fans.
I feel like there's a better way to handle it.
And I've kind of realized, like, if this was an artist that I liked and they did it, I'd probably think it was awesome.
So I'm being a little bit of a hypocrite.
That being said, I did see a video of her popping someone's beach ball.
Yeah.
Which, come on, man.
We're having fun here.
I don't know.
Come on, man. We're having fun here.
I don't know.
The evidence, the new evidence, the one that shows that this was probably going on for a longer time than we originally thought, if they're up there posing for a few minutes and that could be distracting, I do get it.
This is on the security detail of this venue.
They need to be telling people, hey, if you're this close to the stage and you're blocking people's view during what i assume is an emotional song stop i think what it comes down to for me is
i think either way she handled it poorly and she embarrassed these women and she looked like kind
of a jerk and i mean and while she was doing it i think she could have like maybe called like you
know notified security and somebody hey could you like break this up this is kind of distracting i
don't know something better than what she did she should probably know that um her a good portion of her
audience is moms who are going to take photos at her concert like should we make sense i think we
should ban suburban moms from going to concerts they suburban moms have to put their phone in
the little yes the dave chappelle yeah no phones i'm okay with
that i'm okay with that i've never been to a show that you have to do that i was i haven't either i
was recently at a concert where there was a group of people and one of the groups of people was a
bunch of women in their probably early 40s mid 40s maybe even late 40s nice who are all dancing
and someone looked over at me and said we got to go the way. I don't want to be in this group of moms.
And I thought to myself, you're absolutely correct.
This is the last group I want to be hanging out with right now.
I got a love for the moms out there.
Dude, I like the mommies too,
but if I'm trying to be at a concert,
I just don't want to be next to a 48-year-old mom.
Were there a lot of moms at the Dead show?
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
Shout out to Kim, who I sat next to.
She was with her four daughters.
I feel like you brought a mom with you.
I did bring a mom with me.
Yeah, yeah.
I was with my wife.
Right.
Yeah.
So I technically brought my kid with me, too.
Bro, did you see John?
He was shredding.
Shredding.
Freaking shredding, bro.
Never miss aay show is what
i've always said is the is the beach ball thing worse than than what we now know about this
situation there's a there's been a problem with artists getting hit people been throwing shit
harry styles got smoked by a bottle or something recently might be a little smoke on the bottle
yeah okay i don't know man don't let it fool you about what's inside but so i get it but a beach
ball is relatively harmless i would like to say to all those artists go watch uh green day's uh
woodstock 92 set whatever the first woodstock they did in the 90s was and uh watch as they
just get in a mud fight with the audience and it's really fun great set dylan i'm sure
you've seen it multiple times yeah i have i have the beach ball thing just just smack it back out
into the crowd don't you can't even care out of it's fun you can kick as hard as you want yeah
i threw a loaded pistol at john mayer you did yeah kill me daddy i accidentally had it my carry
on and when i when
i unpack i got into the concert with it too which i thought was surprising based on the security but
i didn't know what to do with it i didn't want it on my person so i just threw it at john mayer
you ever had a uh a concert or sporting event when they do the beach ball thing and someone in the
crowd like a patron will grab it and let that out of it like no i'm not doing this anymore i've seen
that it's like what are you doing come on come on i saw two guys fight over a puck one time at a hockey game
yeah that was fun that was fun like they threw like hands yeah yeah yeah they were trying to
each recover the puck that had gone out of play and they just started fighting they were just two
two older gentlemen i loved it uh i feel like at acl if you're down there by the big stage
before like the headliners come out, somebody always has a football,
and there will be people just throwing footballs.
And you're like, okay, it's kind of fun,
but also it's going to get tipped and hit me in the face.
Tip drill, dude.
I might try and get tipped drill before.
Shots of deli.
Beach ball, you get hit with that, you can barely feel it.
Yeah, it's fun.
Let it go.
I could take a beach ball and spike it at Fritz's face,
and Fritz wouldn't even flinch.
You ever do that just for fun? I do it with balloons sometimes. It's fun. Let it go. I mean, I could take a beach ball and spike it at Fritz's face, and Fritz wouldn't even flinch. Yeah.
You ever do that just for fun?
I do it with balloons sometimes.
Like, if he's throwing a balloon around, I'll just, like, bat it at him.
He doesn't care.
The balloon is very, very fun for the toddler.
He loves it, dude.
Just like, holy fuck, the thing's just floating.
It makes grocery stores the easiest thing in the world,
just having that balloon in play.
Yeah.
Okay.
Has Miranda spoken on this?
She needs to make a public statement in a notes app
because she's going through it right now.
People are just raining on her.
It's not a good look for her
to say what she said.
You can't call it a selfie
when it's not a selfie.
That makes you look old.
It's my biggest issue.
It's the hardest part
to swallow during this part.
But at the same time,
I think each of these ladies
is probably an absolute star
in their community right now probably doesn't help this he kind of has the uh i want to talk
to the manager appearance to her a little bit miranda yeah a little bit she kind of has that
can i say that a selfie would be less egregious than like just straight up posing and having
someone a third party take the photo i think you can you can make the case that this scenario would
have actually been made much better if they were just taking a selfie. A selfie is way more, it's way less intrusive, I feel like. When this
happened, I was picturing two like 19-year-olds taking a quick selfie and putting their phone
away. That's what I was like, what the fuck is she doing? Can we just admit that in 2023,
like selfies aren't that big a deal and they're not that bad to do? Like I feel like everyone
raids on selfies, but sometimes you just don't have someone to take a photo. You know what you
don't see anymore? What? Selfie sticks. Yeah.
There was a time where like- They're kind of sick.
Selfie sticks were everywhere.
They weren't everywhere.
Dude, they were everywhere.
You couldn't go to the store.
I've seen like three in the wild, I think.
Dude, they were everywhere.
Everywhere.
I was tripping on them all over the place.
Everyone had them on their belt.
David, you're about to do Russian guy.
I was in Stalingrad when I first saw selfie stick.
Did all the prison guards have selfie sticks?
I used it to kill my guard, free myself and my brothers.
Why do they let you have one in the prison?
Why were your brothers in prison too?
I got a big family.
It sounds like you're a bad group of people.
Yes, I am the merchant of death.
Oh, yeah.
I forgot that that was your nickname.
Yes. Ma' nickname. Yes.
Ma'am.
Okay. So are you still protesting
Miranda Lambert's music? I'm riding with Miranda.
I'm not ready to complete let her off the hook here.
I'm gonna
take this information and next
time someone proposes that we go to a Miranda
Lambert concert
in a small setting, I'm gonna back out of that.
I'm gonna not go. Just think she didn't have to embarrass them the way she did. You know what setting. I'm going to back out of that. I'm going to not go. I just think she didn't have
to embarrass them
the way she did.
You know what?
If I'm a performer,
I'm not stopping the show there.
You're different.
Yeah.
You're a professional.
You'd be like,
point to security
and you'd be like,
hey, take care of that.
What if she had leaned down
and thrown the deuce
and got in the background?
See, that would have been great.
That would have been hilarious.
That's what she should have done.
She'd like that one back. Dylanylan can you read me some of the lyrics
of the song that got interrupted um what what song is it will tip drill
she was doing a cover oh i don't i don't know that one
really i could pull it up by who There's no chance she was covering Tip Drill.
Tip Drill.
I've never heard Tin Man, which is what she is actually singing.
But I assume that it's pretty emotional.
Yeah, I feel like I was definitely team Miranda. I'm not a fan of the genre, that style of country music.
However, I've been team Miranda since the Blake Shelton split.
Because it just felt a little weird.
I've seen some of her live performances on the Grammys or something,
maybe the CMAs.
And every time she performed, I went, okay, I see you, Miranda.
I see you.
You owe her an apology?
Maybe.
You're familiar with her game?
I wasn't familiar with her game but i'm not listening
to her music no she's got a great voice today talented today we're going to talk to you guys
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check it out. I'm not going to play
this clip because this clip is
a lot of yelling.
Okay?
Can everyone thank me? Say will thank you for not playing the clip i don't think you need everyone's freaking
yelling at you is it steven a it's not is it mike the mad dog it's a group of young people at a
birthday dinner oh there's a birthday dinner appears to be at a nice restaurant tab reached
about 4600 for this birthday dinner. Big old tab, Davey.
Suddenly, a fight breaks out.
Not a physical fight.
There were no fisticuffs.
But a verbal altercation breaks out where people are saying, uh-uh, uh-uh.
You had the pork chop over here.
That was expensive.
I'm not paying for that.
We're not doing this evenly.
We're talking splitting checks here, Dave.
And so now it's becoming a big online dialogue.
And based on the comments of this video it's a
very split catalog of people that are trying to figure out what the fuck's going on where the
dude's wearing a oversized peter millar button downs tucked into jeans like a belt and some
cole hahn driving dude i wish that would be so tight that would be so tight it's the bill splitter
the the main problem i have with the video is the there's a birthday girl there dave
she crying they're there for her birthday no she's
not crying but this is what she says she says it's my birthday i'm not paying oh you can't oh bad look
no i'd look the rule there is if your friends want to pick up your dinner if it's your birthday
then that's great i think you say thank thank you. You let them do it.
You don't say what she said.
It's not up to you whether you're paying or not because if no one says anything,
you're dropping a card down.
I'm not defending her,
but I think in this scenario,
her friend should put a card down.
And that's fine.
I think it is very normal and nice of friends
to not make the birthday person put a card down.
I agree.
I do think that should technically be the expectation.
I agree. What I'm saying is she can't be the one to be like, I'm not a card down. I agree. And I do think that should technically be the expectation. I agree.
Yeah.
What I'm saying is she can't be the one to be like,
I'm not paying.
I'm special here.
It's my birthday dinner.
I'm not paying.
Keep in mind she also has two dudes standing up
screaming at her across the table.
Her friends should be the one to be like,
no, no, no.
She's not paying.
We're going to cover her.
But you don't say it yourself.
Yeah, but this is, Dylan,
you also have to give her a little credit here
because these guys are straight up yelling at her across the table this could this has spiraled to the
point where she's probably well within her rights of saying that fair in my opinion emotions were
high it was heated i have some questions regarding this okay i'm queuing up my list of questions
he really does i'm looking at the list do you first want to know how many people are at this
dinner that's a big question i have i do not know how many people are is this seven
people forty six hundred dollars for any meal is pretty that's pretty significantly more than we've
ever done at a christmas our christmas party quick math if it's 10 people that's 460 a person you
know that's that's that's very expensive that's probably that would that's easily the most i
would have ever spent on one meal it's a lot of money oh per head for sure dude for sure
460 a head dog again i don't know how many it might it could have been 50 people at this dinner
i don't know try to do a thousand a couple you're trying to do a stack a couple no that's what you're
trying to do a band maybe maybe even a band how many bands you're throwing down for dinner day
i throw so many bands you don't even know i make her dance bands and make her dance and to make her day i was arrested in
morocco for having so many bands okay i've lost it i'm gonna have my coffee at what age do you
age out of itemizing the bill? 24.
25.
I'm going to say 26.
24 seems young.
25 seems acceptable.
26 seems like a good hard cutoff for me.
Oh, Randy, what's Randy saying?
Because that's late.
Once you get late 20s,
I know everybody's circumstances are different,
so maybe somebody's in grad school and not making any money,
or they're just, I don't
know, not making any money because the economy's not that great. Who knows? But late 20s seems like
the time. When you go to a restaurant that's nice, like this one I think is, and there are really
expensive items on the menu, if the expectation is that everyone is splitting the bill, you can't go
for the prime filet. You can't go really expensive. That's an unwritten rule.
What's the point of going to a nice restaurant if you can't order what you want off the menu?
That's what I don't get. I hate going to a nice restaurant with a group of people
and having to match my order to their order. Because if I'm at a nice restaurant, I want to
be able to order anything. I'm not saying I want to order the most expensive thing on the menu.
I'm just playing devil's advocate. Why should I feel guilty for wanting to order a. I'm not saying I want to order the most expensive thing on the menu. I'm just playing devil's advocate. Like, why should I feel guilty
for wanting to order
a $40 entree
if somebody else
just wants a $22 entree?
I'm not talking about
a $40 entree.
Okay.
I'm talking about like
a market price,
something that you know
is going to be...
Bone-in, pork chop,
$160.
Something that's not
within the norm.
I want Randy's...
Randy's been almost saying something.
You shouldn't feel guilty because you should pay for it yourself.
But how do you like, but you don't.
So do you, are you of the thinking that there should never be a scenario where somebody
should feel bad about itemizing?
Cause I feel bad for the waiters in these scenarios.
They're just kind of sitting there like, what do I fucking do?
I think we're so used to mats where they don't do it, where a lot of these systems, like
they take it by a seat and it's just very easy for them to break it up by seat.
Like it's not as difficult for waiters nowadays to break things up by seat and like to do the thing where you split it equally.
It's like, I don't know if that's true.
A lot of places can do it by seat.
Oh, I feel like they hate doing it.
I feel like you can see them die a little.
If you have to tap 12 people's card versus one person's card or a stack of cards, it is much more annoying.
I can't – yeah.
You can see the waiter or waitress die a little bit when you say, can you split this up?
They walk up and they see a stack of credit cards waiting for them.
That's why you got to just have a client in your crew who just throws down his card.
Yeah.
He's a points guy.
A scenario where I think itemizing in my life right
now i'm just applying this to my life not saying this works for everybody would be if we have a kid
and we're ordering more food then we need to go pay more and we need to tip out more uh if it's
an if it's like just in a really inexpensive straightforward meal where everyone's just
getting entrees and drinking waters then it's like okay if someone got something more expensive
then you tip more or if no one's
drinking at all i feel like once drinks once rounds of drinks start flowing in if there's
more than like one round of drinks then suddenly i'm like okay everyone's got to start just
understanding that we're all on the same tab in a place like matt's it doesn't matter because
every everything you order is between like you know 13 and like 21 so it's like yeah everyone
gets one or two drinks so it's like
everyone's it comes out about even at the end of the day what if you're a red lob and like your
employee starts ordering every signature drink that's a good question then suddenly they're
like oh i think we should all split evenly but if if you get the company the company took care
if you get surf and turf and it's like prime filet and lobster, that's a little bit poor etiquette in my opinion if you're splitting.
That's an extreme case.
Yeah.
Let me give you a less extreme case and I want your actual take on this.
I don't have a take on this, but I'm just telling you a situation that made me feel uncomfortable.
We went to a seafood restaurant one time.
And at the seafood restaurant, I wanted to get this seafood pasta dish that was $40. Everyone else got a three other, the three
other people there got cheeseburgers for $18. And I felt like a total asshole wanting to get this
$42 thing when they got $18 things, because I was like, okay, well now I'm going to make the,
the tip, like the, the the tab awkward because I don't
want to make them overpay. But at the same time, I felt like a jerk for ordering something more
expensive. Maybe you get the tip. If I was you in that situation and if I felt awkward about it,
I would address it. And then I'd be like, I'm going to throw in more for tip because I would
just feel too bad about it. No, and I think that's what we ended up doing. But it was one of those
scenarios where I felt like I was obligated to order down because of that.
And I didn't want to order down.
I wanted to order what I went to the restaurant for.
Was this the Clark's hamburger?
You can get what the hell you want.
Yeah, we were at Clark's.
We were at Clark's.
Which is a good burger.
A good burger.
It's a good burger.
It's a good burger.
Yeah.
I don't blame you.
You can get what the hell you want.
But you should, I think, in a situation like what you just described, you should probably address it. And then if the other couple has someone who gets maybe a $37 thing in a cheeseburger, do we wipe that clean completely?
Oh, yeah, for sure.
Okay.
For sure.
Okay.
Just talking this out.
For sure.
Just talking this out.
Okay.
Yeah, there are subtleties to this.
You know, like you can deviate from the just splitting evenly, but there has to be a reason to do it.
One time we went to a nice restaurant
for Ross Bolin's ex-partner's birthday,
and he threw down some extra cash on top
to lessen the load for the rest of the squad.
That was a fun dinner.
Class move, fun dinner.
Where was that?
Beautiful move from Ross.
Uchiko.
Uchiko.
Had a blast.
That's a fun group spot.
When Ross did that,
I thought that's a really good move.
That was a class move.
I'm not necessarily doing that for everybody,
but that was a good move from him.
It's an expensive place.
Here's my final question regarding this.
How old
to our old for someone to pitch
doing credit card roulette?
Ooh. At what age
are you like, okay, dude, we're not doing this anymore.
Get out of here. I think it's always in play.
Do you think it's always in play? If you have the right group have the right group the boys are always gonna play also don't do it if it's
if the tab is too big what's the biggest tab you've ever like what's the biggest tab that
you've ever accepted playing with not that you've lost just you've been like okay i guess we're
doing this and it's gonna suck uh new orleans three to four hundred we did seven is like 780 750 780 was i there really no this is a bachelor i wouldn't like that and this is also
this is also like late 20s early 30s so it's like i wouldn't like that i accepted into a 600 one
in austin and was very happy to not get that especially given i lost i've been working for
grand x for about two months if it's the crew the crew that i was with like yeah it's it somebody's gonna have to get obviously get stuck with the bill but the the guy
like people make up for make it right throughout the trip like yeah i'll get your oh dude yeah if
somebody i if somebody loses a big one like i'm probably gonna make sure that they're not doing
much the rest of the time i lost one that was like 350 one time but i think over a lifetime i'm
probably up and i am down
when it comes to like winning versus losing i'm up i lost a bad one one time where i got one beer
on the tab and everyone else got like a bunch of drinks but i was like i'm not gonna be the jerk
that doesn't do it and i lost it i got taken care of really well after it but it was it was tough at
the time to spend about 150 bucks on a tab where i had one beer if you're gonna if you're gonna do
it you gotta get a verbal yes from everyone at the table what do you do if someone says one person says that they don't want
to do it you can't do it no okay what if that person gets their card drawn as the person who
has to pay and they refuse that hopefully that doesn't happen what do you what do you do i guess
person who pitches it just says i'll pick it up like that skit. He's truly a genius at having fun.
I believe that.
I do believe that.
Oh, man.
Yeah, that's awkward.
I've never been in that situation.
I haven't either.
That would be just too much.
Or someone refuses.
It would tank the vibe of the whole dinner.
Like, oh, okay, I guess we'll just go back to...
I've never been a part of it. Sally's been a part of a situation like that. And I told her she couldn't be friends anymore. It would tank the vibe of the whole dinner. Like, oh, okay, I guess we'll just go back to... I've never been a part of it, Sally.
Sally's been a part of a situation like that,
and I told her she couldn't be friends anymore.
It would tank the trip.
You can't accept into that type of situation
and then back out.
It's just a bad look.
It says a lot about you.
Agree.
All right, I feel like we talked that out pretty well.
Yeah?
I think these guys needed to –
what did these guys do in this situation for this expensive-ass tap?
I want to know the resolution here.
How did this end?
I need to know the resolution.
There's numerous videos, but none of them have a resolution to it.
4,600, man.
There was some bottles of wine.
Somebody went a little crazy with the bottle of wine.
That's got – because just 4600 dollars man
it's a lot of money this is in vegas it looked vegasy to me it did look a little vegasy you
could tell me it's scottsdale you could tell me it's miami yeah they serve cocktails on a cedar
plank and they smoke it out like it's one of those you know totally necessary by the way dude
i i don't want to pay for those cocktails, but I will say,
whenever I've done this smoky cocktail thing, it does taste pretty fucking good.
Yeah.
They do one at Fonda San Miguel here in Austin.
That is a delight.
They do one at Carve.
I love Fonda.
So everyone in Sally's family made fun of me for wanting to go there
when I first moved to Austin because I thought it was really good.
They told me it was, quote, unquote, an old person place to go to.
Now I go and find friends like every week
and there's just family members there.
Dude, it's a great spot.
Yeah, it pisses me off.
It's not as electric as Matt's,
but like the food I think is inarguably better than Matt's.
Oh, yeah.
It's fantastic.
It's just so far north from me, I don't ever go.
The cochinita pipil.
Oh, that pork. Ooh-we that that pork damn i want to go should we go let's go those pork it's great player pork and cheese with suiza
okay i guess we gotta go Should we talk about Cub? What?
Yeah, we probably should.
People don't do the blinking eyes guy emoji or meme or gif anymore.
Is that from like a Nickelodeon commercial or something?
It got worn out, man.
It did, but it was really good for about a week.
There's something that we're going to have to address we as a civilization we as humans the
human race um again this is from the daily mail um scientists call for urgent research on the
consequences of joining the carmen line club as they claim intercourse will happen between space
tourists within 10 years did you know that nasa categorically insists that no humans have ever had sex in space
so it's completely banned among like astronauts and shit right why i mean if they're going to
categorically insist that no humans have had sex in space it has to it has to be i don't hear the
issues do you want to know some issues um the main issue to contend with is the lack of gravity kind of obvious right you work or
this work around this would make it difficult for partners to stay in close proximity and they would
quickly drift away nah bodily fluids would also quickly float away which could be messy
not really could be will be if it's floating away that's a problem fluids blood circulation
done in space is also affected by the lack of gravity
and could make it difficult for a man to get...
Yeah.
An erection.
A boner.
An erection.
Maintain an erection.
Correct.
Didn't think about that.
Why do I get boners on airplanes all the time, Zod?
There's gravity.
There's no gravity to pull blood into the lower part of the body
the blood instead goes to the chest and head head causing astronauts have having uh that's why they
have puffy faces and bulging blood vessels in their necks i didn't know that they're all veiny
face kid up maybe it's because they haven't didn't think about you know in a while i hold on to this
hold on to this side though right i disagree I disagree that people have not had sex in space.
You think someone's had sex in space?
Yeah.
I don't know if they haven't.
They've at least jerked in space.
These guys are up there for a long time, right?
Are they always on camera?
Are they always being viewed by the NASA headquarters?
Is there always someone looking at them?
It's like the hideaway cam.
When do they turn?
When does the producer stop watching them? That's the question. I've always wanted to know. What's the typical length of time that do they turn when is that uh stop watching that's
the question i've always wanted to know what's the typical length of time that they hang out
they're in space for astronauts months months at a time weeks days yeah if you're on the space
station months you're gonna you're gonna get horny at some point or are you because the gravity no
random boners no uh nrbs the average mission for these astronauts is almost six months yeah 182 days you're gonna get horned
at some point can you imagine going that long yeah get back to earth like
just ready when that rocket lands if other one launches i'm not trying to do a no not nuclear
mission nuclear nasa mission i don't know i'm just workshopping. Nuclear works. You're getting there.
No nut.
Wait.
No nut nuclear mission.
No nut. What's the Karman line?
That's the line where space begins.
Oh, 62 miles away.
62, 63 miles.
Oh, so they've never had sex beyond that.
Correct.
Okay.
Allegedly.
Yeah, I'm going to challenge that.
Someone has gotten off of there.
How long?
Do we think it's this year, next year, year after?
When do we have a submersible situation with a space?
Now that they're doing commercial trips up to space.
Oh, you mean like somebody getting lost up there
yeah or just something exploding up there because of next three years you think so i also read a
fun fact did you know uh no astronaut has ever been like left in space like floated away and
just never that we know about that's is that yeah that's tough it's a very peaceful way to go but
because if you start to
float away and you're not tethered to a spaceship yeah you can't like you can't change direction can
you because there's no you're just yeah it's not like swimming you can't like swim back
you're just toast i did see someone they go after you i did read something about a guy who was like
over 300 feet away from where he's supposed to be but they got him they got him back
it's got to be a pretty shitty feeling i would think yeah at what point are you all right they're
not gonna be able to get me the tech's not there so i'm just gonna see because you know you could
always if you want to die you don't want to deal with it you just pop the you know buzz light year
your helmet i'm sure it works like that just press a button head pops or whatever can't breathe can't
breathe how long do you go you're like i'm just gonna see how far i can go and like see what kind I'm sure it works like that. Just press a button. Head pops or whatever. Can't breathe. Can't breathe.
How long do you go?
You're like, I'm just going to see how far I can go and see what kind of dope shit I can see before I go.
I'd give it 10 hours or something like that.
Maybe you go into a black hole or something.
That'd be cool.
Probably not because they're many, many light years away.
Why does Buzz Aldrin wear three watches?
Like in space?
I read it is an astronaut thing like like he's doing different time zones
or like what i read it's like a safety it's like a backup and a backup backup you don't need a
backup backup when you're on like earth dude uh for some reason the video of him punching that
dude was on my tl yesterday it's because of that photo that was going around yeah the photo going
around where he had the the watches he looks like a guy you would even if even if like someone here thought the moon landing was
staged which i'm not saying they did in fact they i famously said they didn't on a touching base
uh you don't say it to buzz he looks like the kind of dude that would and we've seen punch you in the
face he's gonna punch you in the face you don't want to get hit by an old guy because then you
can't really hit him back because he's the oldest person you'd be willing to fight 68 yeah
i can't fight anyone older than my parents 100. you're not fighting him beam he'd your
up i'll fight that old bag of balls him beam your dope up every day i don't think so he's
so frail old because he just drinks every day and drunk he just he just goes back and forth between
jack daniels and jim beam he's seen some more of beans man put up your dude he's got them he's not from the 20s i mean he did live he literally is from
the 20s david he's literally from the 20s he lost the accent he's born in 1919
so uh dave just said 68 and uh jackie chan 69 so you're already backing out of that
wow dude all right 70 i'd fuck jackie chan up right now it's not even close i don't think and Jackie Chan 69. So you're already backing out of that fight. Wow, dude. All right.
70.
I'd fuck Jackie Chan up right now.
It's not even close.
I don't think you're piecing Jackie Chan up.
Nah, dude.
Look, I wouldn't feel good about it.
I'm just saying.
How tall is Jackie Chan?
He's shorter than me, right?
I'm almost positive.
I'll look it up.
He's a kung fu guy.
5'9", apparently.
Good fight.
It's a good fight on paper.
I'm paying to watch that one.
I just feel like he eats punches better than you do.
No, I eat punches for breakfast.
I get punched a lot.
You ever been punched in the face?
Yes.
What kind of question is that?
Everybody's been punched in the face, right?
No.
You've never been punched in the face?
I got clipped once in a fight, like barely, like right here.
Yeah.
I got cheek from behind them.
Was that those?
I bet you most people haven't been punched in the face.
I got like the guy was behind me and was doing the punch like that.
You've been punched in the face?
Yeah, once by a friend.
Was it like a friendly punch or was he mad at you?
Was that a fight?
It was a mad, and then as soon as he did it he realized he regretted it that's nice of him to regret it okay um don't what you saw what i just looked up stop screen
watching well i just do it though i the reason screen watched, Dave, is because you started opening a new tab.
You looked over at me, had a look on your face,
and then started typing.
I could not see what you were typing.
I do realize it sounded like I was getting, yeah, batted.
It's fine.
Look, I respect Jackie Chan a lot.
I just don't think there's a lot of people over the age of 65 that I could not take.
There are some.
There's a lot of ex-UFC guys.
Definitely fucked me up on enough HGH to where they're yoked up
and can still put their hands on me.
Just saying.
I'm popping him with that jab.
He's just going to get just –
I'm not going to say I've got one-punch knockout power on chan because he can't eat a punch as we've seen in his career that being said it's
just gonna be uh the volume the sheer volume of that jab and when i sneak that right down the pipe
boom i do feel like you'd be a sneaky uh like tough tough out like you're scrapped i think
you can scrub i'm a problem for most how funny would it be if jackie chan just punched dave out
like one punch dude even if i lose fight, it's still a great story.
I've got nothing to hang my head on.
It's like, ooh, I lost to Jackie Chan.
You have literally nothing to lose here.
One of the goats.
Sorry, Jackie, if you're listening.
I don't mean to talk down on you.
It would be a respectful fight.
Afterward, we'd hug.
He's not going to listen.
We'd hold each other's hands up because we both won,
even though you just fucked me up.
Maybe.
Let's have fun.
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Dylan, what are you getting
into this weekend? I have a
for the first time in a long time, a really exciting
weekend coming up. I shouldn't say that.
Klein's wedding weekend was pretty fantastic.
Why'd you have to do Klein like that, dude? Yeah, sorry. I didn't mean that.
Anyway, I am going to...
Making the drive down to Port Aransas, Texas.
I'm going with my son, Parks, my sister, Haley, my brother-in-law, Kendall.
They're two daughters.
And my dad.
Old family trip down to the beach.
Staying at Cinnamon Shores.
Popular little destination.
Yeah.
I'm excited, man. By the way way the high down there all week it's like 87 degrees i don't know why can i join sunny and 87 can i
come down uh yeah i'm not gonna stop you see in the bunk room of parks humidity keeps it from
getting before we got rosie uh her name was Cinnamon. Aw, really?
Spelled S-I-N-N-A-M-O-N.
I don't like that.
Sometimes I think about... Sounds like a rival bar to Wilmone's.
Sometimes I think about when y'all got Rosie
and the guy you got her from, the big farmer in the overalls,
was really sad.
I don't know why I think about that from time to time,
but that was really an emotional moment. He had two sprig of spaniels and he could only keep
one and he looked at us and he said which one do you want and we're like we want this this one
oh and he you could tell that he wanted to keep rosy stella's name was yellow because they were
all color-coded it's good okay so yeah well he said cinnamon he was like you want me to keep
calling her cinnamon and we were like before i i i give her to you guys, we were like, no.
No, thank you.
No, if you could start calling her something else, that'd be great.
Yeah.
I'm really excited.
What are you going to do on Port A?
Just absolutely vibe out?
Are you going to go to the beach without a towel or anything?
We're going to go to the beach without a towel.
Dude hates sand.
They got pools there.
Lucky for you, it's just cinnamon.
You're not actually on sand.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Don't eat it. Yeah. We're going to set up shop on the beach. It's just cinnamon you're not actually on sand yeah yeah don't eat
it yeah we're gonna set up shop on the beach it's just a you know a beach trip nothing too wild
i've never been to portland i've never been to the texas coast we all close up bins i guess i
did go to that tgi fridays and uh corpus if you squint a little bit it looks just like bora bora
okay just to give you an idea okay i don't know what bora bora looks like but
yeah it's you know the the you stay in those
little uh bungalows out over the water you know is that where kim kardashian lost her uh like
earring or some shit if not bora bora exactly like that yeah same same same bali vibes yeah
swag beautiful tiny little speck in the middle of the uh i don't know what ocean it is small
little place oh yeah i had son in bora bora haven't spoke to him in years you left your son
in borobora yes wow i'm a bad father i'm the merchant of death right okay cinnamon's a top
five spice just putting that out there right now cinnamon's a part of my life almost daily
you put on your toast david i put it on i top off coffee with it sometimes i put it on your toast, David? I put it on. I top off coffee with it sometimes. I put it in smoothies from time to time.
And yeah, Will, it's great on toast.
That's awesome, dude.
I like toast.
What are your top five spices?
Go.
I sort of just like them all.
Human.
Slam the laptop shut.
Wow, savage.
Dave's starting his weekend right now.
Please don't do that.
We've got plenty of work to do.
Listen, I'm going to go to dinner Friday.
Oh, yeah.
Saturday, we're going to go to Oppenheimer.
Dude, we're sleeping on Dave.
Dave's trying to bury the lead of his birthday on Friday.
Oh, it's Friday.
Turns 35.
Yep.
39. Too old to be splitting the bills. Hey hey i got a 40th coming up folks not to not to cuck you he's cucking your birthday right now i'm just saying oh that's
following me what's on the birth what's the birthday dinner davey we've got we got two
resis that i i have to choose and maybe you know what i'm gonna put it out there because i feel
like y'all y'all would be uh good to talk to you about this i could either do june's okay i love june's okay we haven't been in a while or tiny boxwoods which
i haven't been to in a long time either now they do have the milk and cookies which is a delight
yes yeah not i'm not telling you what to do here you're gonna you're gonna be very happy with both
i'm just making a note about one of the restaurants gonna you're gonna be very happy with both i'm
just making a note about one of the restaurants it's tiny bee tiny bees they got some of the
best salmon at all they do it on a wood fire grill a great burger too gas tiny bee yeah but
june has a great burger i was thinking about the june's burger which is objectively great i'm gonna
put them uh on par with each other i know Alyssa likes that fried chicken sandwich, though.
That's what I want to get to.
Yeah.
I was thinking she gets the burger, I get the sandwich.
You could make a McGangbang, the most expensive McGangbang ever concocted by just going to
June's and doing that.
I bet they would do it.
I mean, you could just do it yourself.
I feel like, Ray, you've had a McGangbang, right?
Of course.
Yeah.
They're pretty good.
They're amazing.
I would eat one again. I hated myself. You've had the actual McGangbang, right? Of course. Yeah. They're pretty good. They're amazing. I would eat one again.
I hate it myself.
You've had the actual McGangbang from McDonald's?
Yeah, that was like the go-to college thing.
It was that and the Buffalo Ranch McChickens back in the day.
That was like the dollar menu.
That sounds delightful.
We would just take, yeah, the McChicken and put it in a Big Mac.
It was, we did.
It wasn't a Big Mac.
It was a double cheeseburger.
Maybe that's what we did, yeah.
Just a regular old McChicken and a double cheeseburger. That's probably we did yeah just a regular old mcchicken and double cheeseburger that's probably the only way to
eat a big mac because big mac's a bad burger it's the original turducken um yeah so yeah we're doing
that i i'm trending june's just because i love the chicken sandwich i love the burger kind of
spits you out in a nice little you guys go somewhere after maybe walk down the stag tiny
as you know
you're going home entire paycheck like there ain't nothing over there to go to you're right
no that's a great point yeah so i'm i'm hoping to have a good weekend oppenheim and
oppenheim oppenheimer saturday that's different talk about bulbs yeah um so looking forward to it
three-hour movie wait you're actually going to see oppenheimer yeah oh sure yeah we already got
tickets and everything i'm jelly yep did you see the name of the guy is like it showed the seats
available for oppenheimer and like the you know the very very front by the screen yeah and it was
like the guy who got this seat and it's just a video of some like you saw it willem dafoe looking
up yeah oh see i saw someone do face just burning off see i
saw someone post it with donald trump doing uh looking at the eclipse yeah which is also good
it's also good yeah so yeah gonna be gonna be a good weekend yeah i don't have much going on this
weekend um sally has some friends from college who have been wanting to take her out for dinner for her birthday.
And I've been long complaining that I'm tired of girls' dinners for people's birthdays.
And so it's officially a couples thing with us and a couple other couples on Thursday night, which is tomorrow night, I guess.
This is the college crew.
Sorry.
I'd love to have you guys.
It's okay.
I know.
You get it.
You get it.
If you think I have any say in this, you're crazy.
And so, yeah.
We don't really have any other plans this weekend.
Outside of that, there's talk that I might see a little Micah for some coffee this weekend.
Might be in the Austin area.
Man.
Do you do yoga?
Do some bing bong.
No, I can't.
Dude, I famously have a little vertigo.
So if I do yoga, someone might have to pick me up off the mat.
Fair.
I just don't.
I don't know if I have it in me to collapse on a mat with the homies quite yet.
All right, yoga's tough.
And every time Micah does yoga with someone from the crew, they get COVID.
I need some Micah in my life.
That is true.
So yeah, I don't really have too much going on.
I do see some textbacks
in my future do we need to can we see if micah is available for a fill-in on monday we might be
able to make that happen for you you're not here monday right i'm not here monday you're traveling
back monday uh yes pretty sure it's monday and not yeah i think it's monday you'll be here tuesday
right because you'll be producing do you think it's Monday. You'll be here Tuesday, right? Because you'll be producing. Do you know it?
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
I should be here.
A game show podcast produced by Dylan Chivary.
So we talked about we're doing the relegation.
However, how does – what's the process for the producer to get promoted?
So whoever loses –
Whoever loses replaces. be just doesn't
feel like the producers aren't you got to earn it he's got to really produce his little dick off
yeah yeah do you think you have a need to produce your dick off i could produce my dick off oh could
you never i've never produced before so okay you might be really good at it does it is it conducive
to hunting he might be suited for that it honestly is perfect for hunting and pecking. All I have to do is really hit two buttons.
Yeah, I think I'll do that.
That's going to be really funny.
I have faith in Dylan.
Are you kind of happy that you don't have any pressure for
Do You Know What A Game Show podcast?
I get embarrassed playing that game.
The music part, I feel like a total dum-dum.
I don't like it.
I feel like you have a complex.
I feel like you have the yips right now.
You're Jared Saltolamakia.
I've always been like that.
No, but I feel like –
Don't bring salty into this.
Don't get salty for me bringing salty into this.
I've always been like that.
It's kind of like when you're on a simulator doing an ad video for Muggsine.
I'm music dumb.
I really hope that video –
you can actually understand how missing that green and watching the ball roll.
The par three, closest to the pin.
I wouldn't know.
It counts your total feet away from the hole on every shot.
So we did three shots, four holes.
Back to back, I missed the green in the spot
to where it rolls all the way back down some hill.
That was like 150 feet from the hole.
Dave.
It was actually pretty hilarious.
Dave, I've done this in real life.
It's such a bad feeling.
I've played,
like,
this hole in real life,
I've done it numerous times
and it's absolutely miserable.
It's not a fun hole to play.
It just keeps going.
I actually made a tee time
there this morning.
It inspired me.
We gotta do,
we gotta get a harbor trip
on the books.
Yeah, we do.
I think the perfect time for it,
the perfect time for it is next September.
Texas goes to the big house.
I think the boys go to the game, and then the boys bop up to Harbor Springs, Michigan,
and play some golf for the week.
Say no more.
Maybe record some remote pods and enjoy ourselves.
The boys are bopping?
Say no more.
Is it just the boys?
I mean, it could be just the boys.
We can sleep.
We have a couch and two single beds in my parents' basement.
We could all split.
Say no more.
Sounds good to me.
I'll sleep in the garage if needed.
Nothing new for me.
You sleep in your garage.
You want to unpackage this?
I'm just hanging around.
Yeah, no, not really.
Does the Swing Academy have a cot?
It's very hot in there.
Garages are hot.
Yeah, especially when it's the hottest year on record on Earth. Yeah, not really. Does the Swing Academy have a cot? It's very hot in there. Garages are hot. Yeah, especially when it's the hottest year on record on Earth.
Yeah, very cool.
Are we dying?
I'm dying.
Are we dying?
Hard to say.
We'll be hot.
I don't know.
Hey, fun episode, man.
Good content.
Why'd you turn into Klein?
Oh, good.
That was really good.
I haven't talked to Klein
about his honeymoon.
What do you want to know?
I just want to know
his favorite parts of
Europe,
Italy.
I'm a little bummed
that he went to Mallorca
and was not a bombshell
on Love Island.
Yeah,
what a blown up.
Tonight.
Wow.
Tonight.
Hey guys.
Dude,
I'm pretty stoked
Friday
oh it's not even a Patreon
yeah
we do
we drop a free Love Island episode
every Friday
I'm excited
I'm telling y'all
it's a good show
I'm gonna miss this one
unfortunately
it's fine
everyone's gonna miss my takes
I got good ones
will you make a list of your takes
so we can read them
on the pod
I could do that
I've thought about doing that
for you guys
being like
I just want to go on record that this is will's position here oh that's
literally me literally see i'm really bummed i missed you guys impersonating mitch so much
because i i can't help but do it new ella is a is trouble oh all right god she's trouble she's
been coached she's been coached she's in there to mix it up and she's doing a good job she's
got a producer in her ear at all times being like go do this yeah good work yeah you get a fun point
we were lips in
shorty lips and shorty got lips all right bye bye