Circling Back - Bit Madness Elite Eight & Shrimp Toast Crunch
Episode Date: March 24, 2021We're down to the toughest match-ups we've seen yet in Bit Madness — The Elite Eight bits from the last year. We also discuss a mom who went to her daughter's school with a boxing glove on to fight ...a kid, the podcaster who (allegedly) found shrimp tails in his Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and This Weekend in Fun. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (12:30) Bit Madness Elite Eight (35:00) Mom Throws Hands At Middle School (46:11) Cinnamon Toast Crunch x Shrimp Collabo (58:35) This Weekend in Fun (1:06:32) Will’s Breaking News Support This Episode’s Sponsors Hawthorne: www.hawthorne.co (code CIRCLINGBACK for 10% off) Chime: www.chime.com/steam PolicyGenius: www.policygenius.com Vizzy: www.vizzyhardseltzer.com/washed --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
All right, we're back circling back podcast presented by busy heart
seltzer. The only heart seltzer with vitamin C and super fruit acerola.
Let's go.
My name's Wilton Freeze.
Do my ride day rough?
Did you let that ride a little bit?
It felt like you let it ride.
Yeah.
I didn't have the rundown up.
This is pulling back the curtain because we're transparent as fuck.
I didn't have the rundown up, and so I had to pull it up before I started going in. Is it because you were thrown off because our video guy is just an absolute vibe killer?
you were thrown off because our video guy is just an absolute vibe killer yeah he's he's taken micah's taco bar and he's taking it one step further by just like talking about protein and
shit over there just he absolutely uh protein bar shamed you he did what's the deal with that i
wasn't even trying to get protein out of it like i just wanted a delightful little morning snack
you were looking at the protein content in my lar bar you were looking for sustenance yeah like i'm
just trying to chill and eat some like coconut cream pie Larabars over here.
And he's over here telling me that my protein content's trash.
No one's eating coconut cream pie Larabars except for you.
Your protein to sugar ratio is trash.
I feel like they're not producing those strictly for Will to Freeze to eat.
I feel like other people have to be buying that flavor at some point.
You know you're supposed to eat three grams of protein for every pound of body weight.
That's not true.
If you're serious about realizing gains.
It's not three per pound.
Yeah, it is if you're me.
Is it still gains if you're just getting fat?
Yes.
It's all about mass, dude.
It's not about what kind of mass it is.
It's just about putting it on.
Look at Bryson.
I put in the work.
It's a golf tie-in.
I do a lot of shit behind the scenes that people don't realize.
My dad had me doing an hour of yoga a week when I was like seven.
That seems a little bit excessive for a seven-year-old to do yoga.
I don't know, dude.
You don't have roads doing downward dogs at this point?
He's only doing child's pose, right?
There is a baby yoga.
You get it?
Oh, because he's a child?
Because he's a kid.
They have baby yoga poses. And let me tell tell you i bet they're easy as hell this sounds like a total
beating what forcing your infant to do yoga yeah maybe just let your infant sleep dumbass i hate
yeah these parents going above and beyond although if this does cure reflux i will try it
seriously thanks for having me back will yeah of course dude it's really great to have you here going above and beyond. Although, if this does cure reflux, I will try it.
Seriously, thanks for having me back, Will.
Yeah, of course, dude.
It's really great to have you here.
Speaking of things that aren't great to have here, we got Dylan Shivery in the building.
You can't intro me like that.
Dave gets this positive, you know.
Dude, you're all in on pocket tees this week.
Long sleeve pocket tees are just your vibe this week.
I'm a big pocket tee guy.
Everybody knows that about me.
Okay. Okay. I have a bunch of them guy. Everybody knows that about me. Okay.
Okay.
I have a bunch of them, all right?
This one has a hole in it.
Yeah.
It's like, yeah.
Right on my pec.
I think it's because I just busted out. I was just flexing in it, and it just ripped a little bit.
No big deal.
Been putting in work.
Are you going to tell people what I busted you doing yesterday?
And I'm not talking about it, too.
Why are you talking about this?
You know what I busted you doing. Don't talk about this, dude. Did you do the busted challenge yesterday? And I'm not talking about it, too. Why are you talking about this? You know what I busted you doing.
Don't talk about this, dude.
Did you do the busted challenge yesterday?
Yeah.
Dude, you were brazen.
Yeah, I didn't realize that people could see my screen.
You were sitting in the worst spot for what you were looking at.
I know.
Expose him.
Expose him.
Let me tell the story to control the narrative.
Set the stage, gas yourself up for working out two times in a day.
I got a second workout in there today. This is because Parks wanted to to control the narrative. Set the stage, gas yourself up for working out two times in a day. I got a second workout in there today.
This is because Parks wanted to go to the gym.
They have this really cool kids' play center there, and he loves it.
He loves to play with the little tykes and run around and get sweaty.
We understand how kids play.
We know how it works.
Can you mansplain playground skills a little bit more, please?
Since it was my second workout of the day, it was a brief one.
It was like a 45-minute workout.
I was watching.
It was pretty trash.
I did a workout yesterday that was 40 minutes, and I felt pretty good about myself.
But I'm glad your second workout was 45.
I wanted to give Parks a little extra play time.
So they had these little sitting area at the base of the stairs as you come down from the weight room area
so i sat there i was just on my phone bullshitting and i'd go to the this the uh discover page on
instagram always dicey especially when you're i don't open that in public that's i don't go on
tick tock in public well you're a perv so yours is just like it's just tna everywhere i'm not a
perv you want to know what the first thing that shows up on mine is yeah keep telling your story let's play that game up let's play
that anyway i i have been known to look at a um a pimple popping video or two oh yeah they're just
so satisfying to me you're not wrong and i i was i was watching a uh like dr pimple Popper, I think it was, and just going to work on this blackhead in an ear, actually.
It was just real close, zoomed in shot,
and that's when Dave walked down and saw me watching this video.
I was looking.
I see.
I'm like, who is this person?
What are they watching?
I say, oh, my God, it's Dylan.
And it probably looked like it was something dirty because it was just flesh.
It did, dude, because it was very, that's what caught my eye.
Yeah, it was fleshy.
Well, you know what they say.
What do they say?
If you ain't dirty, you ain't here to party.
Do they say that?
Yeah, my Discover feed, it just goes,
Hannah Ann, just all Bachelor content,
a before and after of Bella Hadid's plastic surgery,
Jason Momoa just being a beast,
and more Bachelor stuff.
Kaylin is still somehow on my feed,
even though she hasn't been relevant in this franchise for years. Mine is just pimple popping and workout shit and baseball swings.
I hate admitting this,
but the pimple popping videos are pretty addicting to watch.
They are.
When they start getting the tweezers in them and they start pulling it out,
I'm like, oh, that's the good stuff.
It's shit's gross, but it's like, man, they really got that out of there.
Like, that's, it's no longer in there.
It feels good to watch.
The ingrown hair ones are the ones that are the best.
Oh, yeah.
It just keeps on coming.
Oh, yeah.
Anyway, so they busted me, and some other people probably saw it, too.
Busted.
Busted.
I don't know how visible it was to people walking down the stairs.
Pretty visible.
You were the first thing anyone saw when they walked down those stairs.
Yeah.
As you were sitting right there.
They were probably just, like, mesmerized by, you know,
I just got a pump in, so I was busting out of my shirt and everything.
They were probably looking at that, too.
So you were busting shirts and busting pimples.
I was busting.
And then Dave and I did the Buss It Challenge inside the locker room.
That was fun, too.
Remember that, Dave? I busted busting. And then Dave and I did the busted challenge inside the locker room. That was fun, too. Remember that, Dave?
I busted your bracket, your Dell match play bracket.
You really did, didn't you?
Busted it wide open.
I was getting that core, though.
I was hitting core.
I don't care, dude.
Okay.
Yeah, we really don't, man.
Why would you even bring that up?
I'm just saying.
I was working out.
I didn't fancy you as a pimple popper guy.
Yeah, they're satisfying to watch, man.
I'm not the only one.
No, you're not.
I know a lot of people.
I'm not one of them.
Yeah.
I don't actually like to do it myself.
I just like to watch people do it on Instagram.
I think I'm averse to it because growing up I had issues with that.
It just brings back too many memories of me being a
nerdy ninth grader.
My sisters. Yes, absolutely.
My sisters would pin me down.
Only people with older sisters
understand this tweet. If I had one on my back
like you know the ones on your back
the ones that are like under the skin
you touch it and you're like
oh I shouldn't have touched that.
Those are the ones.
Oh, my sisters would just go to town on my shit.
It was crazy.
Should we change the subject before people turn this off?
I guess.
Let's get some programming notes out of the way.
First and foremost, go follow Circling Back Pod and watch media on DeGrom.
Add me on DeGrom.
You have the button.
Oh, yeah.
Here, let me use the button.
Like the picture of Jacobacob de grom
yeah we're we put up a reel in one tiktok i think we might do more of those actually not to brag
also go leave a review and five star rating we got a really funny review from a girl the other
day who like is probably definitely too good for our podcast but she was admitting that she
didn't understand why she listened i really enjoyed this review don't we just read it
yeah why is she too good for our pod?
Because she's too smart for us.
Oh, yeah.
But in a cool way.
Was it a good review?
Yeah.
She gave us five stars, dog.
Let's hear it.
Well, let me pull it up real quick.
I didn't have this in the plan.
So in the meantime, while I pull this up,
I'll also make sure to go tell a friend about the podcast.
Head over to YouTube.com slash Watch Media.
Mash that subscribe button.
Please like and subscribe per Randy.
Also, WatchMedia.shop.
We still got some Watch Athletic Club tees up there.
That's surprising.
Shipping immediately.
Not even pre-order right now.
They're just in stock, baby.
My goodness.
Let's go.
COVID, baby, let's go.
Let's get this money.
Also, Patreon.
Yesterday we did something special.
We did the worst of.
Uh-huh.
It hit different.
Tell them about the free pre.
We have a free preview on this very feed that
you're listening to right now, so go check it out.
You called it free pre for me? I just did.
You said preview. I don't know if I did, dude.
Would you let him do this? So go check that
out. If you have a story
of your own that you want to submit, please do it.
Worstof at washmedia.com or head over to
washmedia.com and fill out the form on the
Worstof page. You guys want to hear this girl's review yeah she said i have no idea why i listen to this which
is a pretty normal sentiment towards the podcast she said i'm a 20 year 23 year old female who
graduated the career in stem i thought you didn't want stems in your stuff you got great legs oh
yeah she said i have no idea why i listen to this podcast, nor why I'm so invested in their lives.
I don't really know what this podcast is about.
These guys don't even have big arms.
What is STEM?
Why is she dropping the STEM bit?
What does that add to the review?
She's trying to flex on us?
I don't know.
Is that like STEM cell therapy?
Science, technology, engineering, and math.
STEM cell.
So it's definitely not what we thought it was.
Okay, it's not STEM cell.
Okay, well, congratulations.
You are too smart for this podcast.
I've never heard it called that.
But those aren't – I'm not familiar. Well, you're also dumb. Well, it's not a STEM set. Okay, well, congratulations. You are too smart for this podcast. I've never heard it called that. But that, you know, those aren't, you know, I'm not familiar.
Well, you're also dumb.
Well, that's not true.
Aren't you stupid?
I'm just not a STEM guy.
Stop.
I'm just kidding.
You're not very smart.
Nice stems.
Then we're also doing voicemail Fridays.
888-618-4422.
Like an 888-618-4422.
How tactical is that?
I've memorized the number, not to brag.
Almost too tactical.
I could barely understand it.
If you do subscribe to the Patreon and you do listen to our voicemails,
you get to see your boy's new haircut tomorrow.
I'm getting a mohawk today.
Oh, I thought you were talking about the haircut I just got yesterday.
Couldn't tell.
From T.
Couldn't tell.
Talk about it, dude.
Couldn't tell.
I didn't even notice, honestly.
I'm still six days out from the window of when it looks the best,
so bear with me for the next six days.
It's still too short.
Everybody knows that.
Sick, dude.
Speaking of hair, let's talk about Hawthorne.
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It found me before I found it.
Wow.
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This stuff's accurate.
I love the smell of my hot, both of them, the work and the play,
but the play one hits a little different for me.
You play too much.
When I'm feeling, like, a little flirty, like, I'll just throw the play on.
You're the guy who goes into the gym just loaded down with cologne yeah well i feel flirty in there he's playing dude he plays a lot
you play too much i just did that the quiz is so easy it's actually a fun quiz to take you learn a
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Are you not pear-shaped?
I feel like I kind of am.
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Oh.
Dude, it's time.
It's time for the Elite Eight.
The thing about the Elite Eight is that it's eight that are elite.
Wow, that's a good point.
I didn't think of it like that.
Shouts to everyone who submitted their brackets.
Shouts to everyone who curated the brackets for us.
And shouts to everyone that's been following along.
Can I pull back the curtain real quick?
Yeah.
Monday was our biggest day of the quarter.
Listens-wise.
Q1?
Are we doing things?
Is it because of the bit madness?
Do you have to think?
Are we just hitting different as a pod right now?
I think it might be all the above.
Are we built different?
Shouts to Maino.
Traditionally, Q1 has been dicey for digital media outlets, but not this one.
Are we thriving?
Other companies are doing layoffs, not us.
We go to the gym and we do layups.
We do layups.
I lay on.
We're not cocky.
We don't need to dunk it or break any bones while trying to.
Okay, I think you're doing a lot right now.
You're setting yourself up for jokes.
Yeah, we have a sports pod.
At least tag them. Tag them
in the joke. Too much dip.
Every sports reference I make, I have to tag
too much dip. Dude, we don't promote it enough.
It's true.
That's cool, man. That's very cool.
I'm scared. This is the first time I've been scared
of the matchups. People are telling their friends
about us. Oh, is that?
Do you think that's the difference?
Yeah.
Do you see the guy that texted his dead grandma?
Okay.
Really?
You guys didn't see that?
I retweeted it from the circling back account.
Did she respond?
Well, apparently her phone number was 666 per him.
So I guess his grandma went to hell.
That's kind of messed up.
Oh, this is getting dark.
He's the one who sent the text.
Like, I'm not making a joke about this guy's dead grandma. literally did this you know what he said someone's got to cut her service off
yeah what'd it say he said grandma i know you're dead and all but you should check out this pot
it's pretty good and he sent her the spotify link the text was green so she must have switched over
to a prime cofo samsung or something i want want to see him print out a transcript of this podcast
and then just go fold it up, put it in an envelope,
and put it on the tombstone.
I don't know, man.
Why would he put it on a pizza?
I'm your huckleberry.
Dude, I think that's on Netflix right now.
That is a must-watch TV.
It's a great movie.
It's also on, like, there's some other channel that just plays it on loop pretty much.
I don't know if YouTube TV gets that because I'm a cord cutter.
Johnny Ringo.
I need to re-watch that.
The character in the movie.
He had tuberculosis.
A lot of people don't know that.
Oh, Doc Holliday.
Doc Holliday.
Tuberculosis, yeah.
Very deadly back then.
It's a lung disease, David.
Yeah, he had a bad cough, but he still was able to win a duel.
That's not what it sounded like.
It's the black lung pop.
That's not what it sounded like at all.
Zoolander.
It's a sick reference.
Dude, Will's on fire.
Just keep feeding the rock, dude.
Just keep feeding him.
No, dude, I'll kick it right back.
I'm kicking it right back to you.
Mr. Ring of Fire
himself.
Is it because I'm wearing all black today?
Correct. Didn't you just come from Folsom Prison? What are you doing?
It's murder. Who do you think you are?
Murdered out, dog.
I know, but you look like Johnny Cash.
Thank you. Except much less.
What you said, you said.
I call him Johnny Trash.
Oh, come on.
Come on.
We're not doing that.
We're not doing that.
It's a good thing.
It's good.
It's a good thing.
That's not going to stick.
It's a bad bitch.
That's ridiculous, man.
Don't do that.
That's ridiculous.
Should we do the first round of the rowback crave activity side of the bracket?
Not the first round.
The first game.
Why do you do the first round?
Whatever.
I cannot wait until we get to this other story because there's more shit coming out.
And I'm sorry.
I know that's live and breaking news.
But let's do the bracket.
I know.
We got this bracket to take care of.
I just don't want to forget this.
All right.
We got number eight. No one's doing a 7 vs 8 seed in the Elite 8
How are these two 7 and 8?
They seem very low
These are top 4 bits
We have number 8 drinking one beer
And number 7
As this is the only way she can eat fajitas
This is probably 40% of my social media strategy like just these two things yeah it's true so i
this is tough for me this isn't particularly tough for me okay well what is it you want my vote right
now i do i don't care if i have the onus on this one moving on for me is the seventh seed, as this is the only way she can eat fajitas.
Really?
Much love to drinking one beer.
Yeah.
Much love.
High Life, particularly.
I'm going to put this on Will.
I'm going to go drinking one beer, but I'm only doing that because I want Will to be the one and not me to put it through.
So drinking one beer has been a bit of ours for years.
It's something that I think about literally every single time I think about drinking beers.
And it just is, it's kind of natural to me at this point.
What I like about the number seven seed as this is the only way she can eat fajitas is
that I feel like we've hardly even like hit the ceiling yet.
I think we like, it comes back around
maybe once a month, maybe once every
couple months, and it makes me smile.
It makes me laugh, no matter what
the context is. Every time I think about this,
it brings me back to that
Friday night when this happened, and
it was the funniest thing on Twitter
at that time. For the entire week.
Maybe even a month.
It was just so absurd.
It was a bright spot in an otherwise dark quarantine.
This is early pandemic.
Yeah.
Very early.
This is summertime pandemic.
He asked four different waiters for shredded cheese.
They waited at least 18 minutes.
It's crazy to me.
I know.
It's crazy.
So in saying that, I think drinking one beer, even though it's ingrained in my psyche,
I think that as this is the only way she can eat fajitas,
still makes me smile and laugh every single time I see it.
And for that reason, I think I'm choosing the favorite here,
and I'm going as this is the only way she can eat fajitas.
And I think that's right.
Maybe you're wearing all black because you're taking these bits to their funerals today.
Oh, business trip.
I had a video made for ratioing you.
I was hoping that you were just going to deactivate your Twitter account,
and then I had all those dudes carrying the coffin with you in the coffin,
and I was every single one of those guys.
You thought I was going to deactivate?
I was kind of hoping, yeah.
Wow.
Nah.
This one's tough.
My response to the other day was so good, though.
Jeez.
Yeah, what was it again?
I don't know.
Should I get a new target for this upcoming weekend?
I'm a little nervous.
Go with Dave, dude.
I'm not going to be as online this weekend because my mom's in town,
and so I'm a little hesitant.
The original Will Mommy, just for those keeping track.
And I just don't really know what to do.
Are y'all going to link with the homie and I?
Homie and me?
If you want to.
I can send you our itinerary.
It's a robust one. I don't need that. I just want to link at you want to. I can send you our itinerary. I don't want your... It's a robust one.
I don't need that.
I just want a link at some point.
I said it's a robust itinerary.
I'm sure he's going to link with you, Dylan.
It'd be great.
It'd be great.
Yeah, for sure, dude.
My mom wants to go...
I want to see Nancy.
My mom really wants to go
to the playground at Lifetime.
You know that Nancy and I
really connected at your wedding.
I believe it.
We had a moment.
I believe it.
Stop saying you connected with his mom. We had a moment. Don believe it. It was beautiful. Stop saying you connected with his mom.
We had a moment.
Don't tell me that you're having a moment with my mom.
No, not like that.
Not like dirty.
It's still, it's a little much.
I know there weren't a lot of single ladies at my wedding, but like, I mean.
That's not what I'm saying.
You don't have to hit on my mom.
We're big fans of each other.
That's all I'm saying.
Whatever.
And in a non-weird way.
We've got a big match up here.
We've got a Cinderella story in Frat Dave at number 11 versus the number one seed, Welcome to Wilmonds.
Well, I've been trying to kill Fred Dave for like three rounds straight, so I'm not going to stop now.
You can't, dude.
His dad keeps bailing him out.
Fred Dave's dead because Welcome to Wilmonds.
Shouts to Barry Rigby again, our boy, going big on Spotify.
You were talking shit about Barry Rigby recently.
Come on, dude.
I would never do that.
And he's very limited in his range is what you said.
I would never say that.
Okay.
I would never say that.
If he would have actually said that, he'd have two black eyes right now.
Fred Dave is going down.
I'm calling it.
Bye, Fred Dave.
Welcome to Wilmonds.
Let's go.
Wow.
Well, just only because you put it that way, Frat Dave goes through for my bracket.
And because I want to put it on Will.
I want Will to have to pick his own bit.
His name's in the other bit.
I don't come from a place of being a podcast host right now.
I come from being a business owner, okay?
And I've gotten some complaints about Frat Dave lately around the restaurant.
Wow.
The person running the aux cord, it could be anyone from Tide to the restaurant wow the person running the aux cord
it could be anyone from tide to just a random dude that found the aux cord in the corner or
someone that just hooks up to the bluetooth speaker we have they're really tired of frat
dave coming in and requesting mobamba and so for that reason we we have to have let's go through
see that's not fair he's got his own audio final four it. That's not fair. Dude, make a Fred Dave button.
You know how well it works to just put the phone up to the microphone.
Remind me to make a Fred Dave button.
Are y'all still mad because I was doing the trick where I unscrew the salt shaker
and my buddy goes to salt his food and it all pours out on his shit?
I'll never shame anybody for that.
I love shaking it like a salt shaker.
Okay.
Isn't it Tail Feather?
Not sure.
No, we're talking Yin Yang Twins, bro.
Oh, yeah.
What's the Tail Feather song?
It's Nelly.
It's not a good song.
You're right.
Is it Nelly? I got it mixed up.
I think it is.
It's Nelly.
Yeah.
He also has Drop Down and Get Your Eagle On.
That's an owl.
That's an owl.
Owls don't get enough credit though.
Dude, owls are so dope.
They're underrated.
Are they one of those animals that are
actually mammals?
Even though they're like birds?
It's a mammal.
The way they turn their head around and shit.
Didn't one try to fly off with Parks? No, it didn't know. Even though they're like birds? It's a mammal. Dude, the way they turn their head around and shit. Fucking locusts. Didn't one try to fly off with parks?
No.
It didn't happen.
I want to fuck an owl up.
You had to throw a football at it to knock it out of the air?
Dude, they're not turtle, David.
They hunt at night.
Like, that's so sick.
We have them in our neighborhood, not to brag.
Yeah, so do we, dude.
What's your point?
No, you don't.
You've got grackles, you bitch.
No, we have chaparrals and owls.
It's fucking tight.
You don't know anything. I'm just reading about therales and owls it's fucking tight you don't know anything
i'm just reading about the different types of owls right now i think i might be an owl guy
i don't know the term for it but if you if you move their body around like that their head stays
perfectly still it's crazy no one's gonna be in the position to move an owl around like that
there's a video of it, David.
That's a pigeon.
Gyroscopic?
What's there some kind of term for it? I don't know.
I don't fucking know.
Why don't you ask our STEM commenter?
Yeah.
She would know.
She's too smart.
She's punched out.
She's like, all right, these guys are just...
Should we have this girl host our geography bee or something?
Probably.
Yeah, she's not a fan of us anymore.
No, I like her.
No, I like her. No, I like her.
She's a good girl.
You were kind of mean to her, though, when we were talking about her review.
I'm sure she's a very nice young lady.
Dude, we're in the Miller High Life region.
You know in intramurals in college, they call me Birdman.
Really?
Why'd they call you that?
Just getting all...
Really?
I heard you would tie the flags from flag football.
I heard you would tie them to your arms,
and when you would go into the end zone,
you'd just be waving your arms,
and then do the Dirty Bird.
Like I was EJ's caddy?
Can you do the Dirty Bird?
They don't let you do that anymore.
Why?
I don't know.
Too dirty?
You can Dirty Bird.
If you ain't dirty, you ain't here to party.
Yeah, you already said that.
You've said that twice.
Only once on the podcast, though.
I don't think that's an actual saying.
I recently watched the Christina Aguilera dirty video.
Thank you.
Really?
For the Cranksgiving?
It's interesting.
What?
I recently watched it.
I was with friends.
It's whole squad cranking.
Gross.
No, no, no.
It was a couple's event.
Randy, put that pen down.
Randy, come on.
Come on, Randy.
What are you doing, Randy?
You're disgusting.
We are in the Miller High Life region.
Number four, Podcast Week versus number two, El Glizadente.
This is tough, man.
Man, I wonder how this one's going to go.
Dylan, go ahead and vote first.
Yeah, go ahead, dude.
Can you all vote first and Give me the onus.
I don't know if there's an onus to be given.
Oh, so we're all voting podcast week?
Let's go.
Put it through.
Randy, put it through.
Podcast week.
Go ahead.
Randy?
It would be a real shame if somebody took the video of the dude making hot dogs on the volcano
and just deep faked in a bunch of Dylan's faces onto the hot dogs.
Why would I be cooking myself who made that photo of you as uh what's his face i'm pretty sure it was you man i don't know dude i'm pretty sure it was you no you saw my photoshop wasn't
working and then you told me to log off and never log on again so it couldn't it literally couldn't
have been me why did you just block will that would have been me. Why did you just block Will?
That would have been so messed up.
I would never block Will.
I would have created another account just called like Ratioing Dylan.
Actually, that's not a bad idea.
Dylan Cheveratio.
Dylan Cheveratio still has legs.
I don't think I can just go ratio someone the very next weekend.
I feel like I need to give it some time.
You should have done a play on Horatio Sands.
It was in the mix.
Was it? It was in the mix. But you didn't – honestly, you kind of had a down Twitter weekend.
You weren't tweeting that much.
Yeah.
Sunday I was pretty quiet.
You were scared.
You were tweeting scared, dude.
But then, dude, that reply on Monday, God, that was – it's like an all-time tweet.
Shut up.
Go look at it.
At D. Chivary on Twitter.
Add me on the group.
I just absolutely just skewered Will. I'll go ahead. Because he hasn't recovered yet. I'll go ahead. I'm. Chivary on Twitter. I just absolutely skewered Will.
I'll go ahead.
I'm voting El Glissadente.
Oh, man.
Don't put it on me.
Podcast week, Dave.
We love podcast week.
Think about it.
It would be very, very unfortunate for podcast week to end during podcast week.
Right.
So you should put it through.
It's kind of like universe eating itself.
Don't forget though,
podcast week does live on.
Does it?
Well, it doesn't move on
because El Glizadente moves on.
Dang it.
There's no way that's a final four bit.
Well, it looks like it is.
This is stupid.
What are y'all doing?
It can't make the championship.
What are you talking about?
It can't.
Do you understand how this works, Dylan?
Oh, you're trying to tell me that El Closet Dente is going to take down Spooky Season in the Final Four?
You're assuming that in the poncho region that Spooky Season is overtaking Wilmommies.
Wilmommies has no chance against Spooky Season.
I'll say it right now.
No chance.
I don't know.
They were saying that about a 40s gangster accent.
Yeah. Yeah, say the 40s gangster accent. Yeah.
Yeah, say, the Wilmommies.
Yeah, but the Wilmommies put a bullet right in the hat.
They're a violent bunch.
Yeah.
Wilmommies are toast right now.
Everybody knows this.
So you're voting for Wilmommies?
No, spooky season is an all-time.
I mean spooky season, sorry.
My God, that's 1940s gangster accents music.
He's doing wrestling shit now.
I've never seen anything like it.
Bob Ross?
Is that his name?
What's his name?
J.R.
Bob Ross is the PBS painter.
Yeah, close.
J.R.
Close.
J.R.
Similar vibe.
Jim Ross.
Good old J.R.
Jim Ross, yeah.
By God, he broke him in half.
Maybach music. Does he have a cameo? It's Rick Ross. Oh, he has to in half Maybach music does he have a trick Ross oh he has he has
to and he should charge a lot he should charge a lot for that he's an all-time cameo he's probably
a lot it's probably more than uh party boy as God is my witness he broke him in half my God
I've never seen anything like this is an outrage this is a disgrace he's the perfect announcer
in all my years.
He is, yeah.
Didn't we have him on Back to Recover at some point?
You did.
Yeah, y'all definitely did.
Yeah.
That's right.
Wow.
I'm glad that he made a lasting impression on you to the point where you confused him
with a fucking painter on PBS.
Wait, didn't somebody-
Who got more clout?
Bob Ross or Jim Ross?
Bob Ross.
Bob Ross, dude.
He's a drip guy.
No, Jim Ross is a legend.
So is Bob, dude.
You see him paint those trees, David?
He's got a barbecue place in Oklahoma.
You see him do those trees?
Fuck, he died a long time ago.
Bob Ross, that is.
JR's alive.
JR's alive.
Yeah, Bob Ross, he died in 1995 in Orlando, Florida on Independence Day, nonetheless.
Yeah, but legends never die.
Right, David?
I've seen The Sandlot, okay?
We get it.
Your favorite movie probably.
It's way up there.
It's a good movie.
You fancy yourself the jet, don't you, Benny?
Yeah.
I always got that comparison.
You know, really good athlete good athlete super handsome successful
like all the stuff
you know
I wasn't one making the comparisons
okay Vinny Chase
yes anyway
I vote for Spooky Season
obviously
Will Mommies
you're going down
I'm voting for Will Mommies
you're going down
I said it before
I'm not going to vote for Will
I'm not going to vote against Will Mommies until I absolutely have to bye Will Mommies and I also just didn't want the onus on this one because I'm voting for Will Mommies. You're going down. I said it before. I'm not going to vote against Will Mommies until I
absolutely have to. Bye, Will Mommies. And I also
just didn't want the onus on this one because I'm scared.
I'm playing real scared right now. Uh-oh.
Dave's got something cooking. Oh, no. Oh, no.
Hey, Will. What's he doing?
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Spooky season.
Yes.
Let's go.
Down go the Will Mommies.
Down go the Will Mommies.
Wow.
Wow, that group chat's reeling right now.
Yeah, they are not fans of me right now.
No one saw the come thunder coming.
I'll say it.
I'll say it.
I did think spooky season should go through, but I'm a man of my word,
and I said I was going to vote Will Mommies as much as I could.
Can I say it boils down to spooky season had audio?
It's just dead.
Spooky season is all time, though.
That's my favorite.
It's good.
How many pages of sound clips do we have?
We have several pages.
Sheesh.
The pages are many.
Man, so we'll be back On Monday With our final Four
And championship
Round of Bit Madness
Where we see
Number seven
As this is the only way
She can eat fajitas
Versus number one
Welcome to Wilmont's
And then we have
El Glizadente
Versus Spooky Season
I have to say
There was a lot of
Controversy early on
About what was a bit
What's not a bit
There was a lot of
Stuff going on
About the seedings
I think we have A very strong Final Four here.
This is an interesting Final Four.
I couldn't have predicted this, but these are all really strong except for one of them.
I wonder which one's going to win.
You got to think it's, well.
All right, look, don't just put El Glisadente through just for, like, the bit of it, you know?
Okay, we won't do that in Bit Madness.
Yeah, heaven forbid we latch on to a bit during a 60-14 bracket about bits.
But if it wins, like, that in itself will be a bit.
Y'all are trying to stick it to me.
I know what you're doing.
Don't do it.
Y'all probably cahoots.
Call me Semtex, Dylan.
You know what?
I'm calling collusion on this.
There's no way that thing should have made it this far.
Collusion. You guys what? I'm calling collusion on this. There's no way that thing should have made it this far. Collusion.
You guys are talking behind the scenes.
All it takes is two votes, man.
Well, you better start drumming them up.
I got to flip one of you guys?
What do they call that in politics?
Weren't you a poli-sci major?
I'm going to have to start greasing palms.
You got to whip up the votes or something like that?
I'm going to start greasing palms. Whip to whip up the votes or something like that? I'm going to start greasing palms.
Whip it real good.
What?
Grat that whip.
Grease my palm, dog.
I'm ready.
I got a greasy palm.
Oh, greasy palm.
I got a greasy palm.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, see.
Yeah, I'm slippery.
Slippery and what?
I got an announcement.
Okay.
We got a new sponsor on board.
Did you just cuck my bit?
No, go ahead.
I didn't do the new sponsor alert.
What's your problem?
Ooh, new sponsor alert.
What are you doing?
That was a good one, Dave.
I actually like that better.
Should that have been on the...
Maybe next year.
Maybe you'll make it next year.
Nah, I think people hate it.
It's terrible.
That's why.
New sponsor.
New sponsor alert.
We have a new sponsor.
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All the time we're looking at our bank account.
You know what I mean?
And you're like, opening that app, it's like one of the most scary things in the world.
Oh, yeah.
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Really?
Oh, I'd love to see that.
You got it on the jersey?
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Yeah, like if Dylan steals my identity to get some OnlyFans accounts or something.
Yeah, we've had to be doing this with Dylan on the wash cards a lot.
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Oh.
By God, that's Will DeFreeze's ad read music.
Yeah. Wow, you're in your bag right now. I love Disclosure DeFreeze. Discl Will DeFreeze's ad read music. Yeah.
Wow, you're in your bag right now.
I love Disclosure DeFreeze.
Disclosure DeFreeze goes hard.
Yeah.
Call him Disco.
Oh, you want Disclosure over here?
Disclosure?
I got you.
I got you.
Okay, let's move on.
Do you hear about this woman who went to a school with boxing gloves to fight a kid?
Yeah, what's her problem?
What's her deal?
Dude, maybe the kid was looking at her phony dog.
Get your boys in.
Dude, Edith Riddle, 34, arrived at the school wearing boxing glove, one boxing glove.
No one's doing just one boxing glove.
That's the least intimidating shit ever.
Some people, that's all you need.
She wanted to beat the kid up, but she didn't want to do too much damage, so she threw the boxing glove on.
Well, you know what she said?
She said it was super glued to her wrist so she couldn't remove it what are you doing lady wait a minute what's wrong with
that real yes who's why why was her super glue involved god this is just this feels so carony
it's like no don't pull it off my wrist it's super glued on she in florida yeah that makes
middle jacksonville uh the i you know i i didn't know that detail, but the super glue really takes us to another level,
mainly because, like, it's completely pointless.
Does she have a drug problem?
What's going on here?
I don't know.
It says a Jacksonville mother is charged after a fight with another student on campus of
DuPont Middle School last week, a Jacksonville police report states.
It says a school safety officer
heard a teacher's frantic announcement over the school
radio that there was a fight occurring outside of the cafeteria
at 12.14 p.m., according to the report.
And when the officer arrived at the fight location,
he found she had been involved
in a physical fight with the victim.
I feel like this isn't the move.
It's definitely not the move.
Damn, she hit her with that two-piece.
This happened in Jacksonville.
You want to hear an interesting fact about Jacksonville?
Sure, I'd love to.
It's the largest city by land area in the United States.
It's big.
Dude.
People don't talk about how big Jacksonville is.
They need to have you on the trap to drop that knowledge.
People don't realize that.
It's just a really big city.
Oh, anyway.
So she has a daughter or a son who goes to this school?
A daughter.
That's really sad.
She had just exited the school with her own daughter after a meeting with the vice principal on campus, according to the report.
Rather than exiting the campus directly, the daughter walked out of her way through the cafeteria to engage the victim in a fight.
It was on sight.
Look, every one of us has wanted to go show up at the local elementary school and just beat the piss out of somebody with a boxing glove.
But to actually do it, it's just a little excessive.
There's no way you could pay me to go into a school at this point
because I just don't want to get my fit roasted by all these teens.
If you work at the school, if you're a teacher or some kind of administrator,
and then someone shows up, a parent shows up wearing one single boxing glove,
like ready to fight a student.
How do you even handle a situation like that?
Exactly one boxing glove.
Precisely one.
What are you doing?
One glove, everybody knows the rules.
Dave, correct me if I'm wrong, but you don't put on a glove to hurt someone more.
You put on a glove so you can have a fight that lasts like 10 rounds.
Maybe she has weak hands.
She didn't want to break
a bone in her hands.
She and her daughter
basically just jumped
this other poor girl.
They beat her up together.
I want to hear
the other side of the story.
Her daughter pushed her
to the ground.
What did the victim do
to deserve such a
one-gloved beating?
I mean, they're in middle school.
Like, what can you do?
You know?
They called her over
during Red Rover and she just said, nah, I'm good over here.
Ooh.
Is that what happened?
She just kept laying down bunts and kickball, and, like, nobody could get to it.
Like, all right.
She snuck a –
No, they said no bunting at the beginning of the game, and she didn't care.
She still bunted.
Okay.
She snuck a bite of her rectangle pizza at lunchtime, you know?
Dude, shut up.
What are you talking about?
Tell me that didn't go hard. The rectangle pizza? You probably didn't have it in Harbor Springs, you know? Dude, shut up. What are you talking about? Tell me that didn't go hard.
The rectangle pizza?
You probably didn't have it in Harbor Springs, did you?
We had rectangle pizza, dude.
Dude, it was so good.
Don't slander it.
It was so good.
This girl was just dominating pencil break.
Oh, man.
Will didn't even play that game, dude.
You never played pencil break?
What's pencil break?
I'm a mechanical pencil.
Dork.
What's pencil break? Dude, it's never played Pencil Break? What's Pencil Break? I'm a mechanical pencil. Dork.
What's Pencil Break?
Dude, it's where you flick the pencil.
One person holds their pencil, and then you have your pencil.
This sounds dirty.
And then you go tip to tip. Only because you made it sound that dirty.
Well, okay.
You try to break it.
That seems like a really bad use of school materials.
Well, they're your pencils.
It's a pencil.
It's three cents. It's three cents.
Calm down.
A tree died for that fucking pencil, dog.
Calm down, dude.
Most of them aren't even real wood.
Climate change is a major issue.
You guys just sitting around breaking pencils and throwing them away and giggling with each other.
Do you respect wood?
Yeah, I respect the fuck out of wood, dog.
Everyone knows that.
I use coasters.
Wood to freeze.
I did like mechanical pencils better, though.
I didn't.
I thought they were trash.
I hated when number two pencils would trash. I loved the little sound.
When they got dull, the feeling of a dull
tip
against paper.
I like it.
Glides, baby.
Didn't you not know how to write until you were in seventh grade?
I don't know.
It's just not true, man.
Were you soft lead or hard lead, guys?
I was so hard. It's just not true, man. Were you soft lead or hard lead, guys? I was so hard.
My lead stayed hard.
I wanted the hardest lead I could get.
Soft lead?
Like, no thank you.
I was a lefty, though, so I didn't want that soft lead because then it would just get all over the side of my hand.
We used to bully soft lead kids.
Really?
Yeah.
You used to just disrespect the soft lead kids just because of the pencils they used.
That seemed kind of messed up. I'll never forget when one of the soft lead kids just because of the pencils they used. That seemed kind of messed up.
I'll never forget when one of the soft lead kids was popping off at me.
And my mom showed up with a boxing glove super glued to her hand.
What happened?
My mom just took him out back, took him to the woodshed.
Dude, she's a real one.
Yeah.
She did five years for that.
Yeah, I would say that's a pretty big problem.
Tell you what, that kid never showed up with soft lead again.
I don't know if my parents ever intervened at a time when I was maybe getting bullied
or trying to fight some kids or something like that, but I don't think they ever did.
They never let me know it, at least.
So I could always carry my head high in the hallway knowing that I was just going to be a one-man show.
Fight your own battles?
Yeah.
I didn't need my mom showing up with a glove on.
Oh, my gosh.
As a general rule, just don't beat up little kids like general unless you're a little kid well i wish she would have showed up
with an mma glove on just ready to absolutely wreck this child just hit her with an eye poke
and then a two-piece i still want to know why there's a one glove just glued to her hand yeah
why the glue like boxing gloves tend to to be pretty secure once you get it on your hand.
Are you worried about somebody ripping it off?
Just tape it.
I don't know the answers to any of these questions.
Do you think she taped her hands before she put them in the gloves?
She's sitting at home.
Did she put a roll of quarters in there first?
Ooh, yeah.
I heard she tried to bite the kid's ear off when it wasn't going well.
Really?
Antonio Margarito.
Caster in the glove.
You're going too deep in your MMA knowledge for me at this point.
No one's keeping up with you right now.
It's the Combat Sports Minute with D-Man.
I don't have a clip for that.
I wish I did.
I'm sorry.
I just don't.
This woman needs
to get a grip
she probably needs
some psychiatric
pretty hard to get a glove on
it's true
can't really move the fingers
that's a good point Will
what if she just went in
and like threw a flying knee
like a roundhouse kick
and was like
oh shit
she's a problem
again I would say
you probably shouldn't do that
to a middle school child
what if this is one of those
middle school kids
that's like actually huge for their age,
so it's a little bit more fair?
Still.
I still see a problem with that.
I heard it was because one of the kids said that her legs didn't get cold,
and the mom didn't believe it, and she was like, fuck that.
It was like 43 degrees outside.
Don't lie to me.
She gave a statement to the police.
It's not that cold.
The statement to the police just said,
yeah, I do a lot of shit behind the scenes that people don't see.
Okay.
That's not what she said.
I don't know, dude.
Really?
Karen Ferrari over here.
She's clearly not a Ferrari.
They have a distinct look.
Ferrari family, you know it when you see it.
Who said it was just a bang?
What did KJ say?
It's just a bang energy drink in human form?
Yeah.
It's pretty accurate.
Perfect.
I don't have anything else on this.
No, I think we covered it.
Maybe she did.
I need some security footage.
I want to see what kind of footwork she had.
Some CCTV?
Yeah.
She was just one boxing glove.
Fanning with the jab and she came over the top.
Little girl didn't see it coming.
Sheesh.
If you're an adult, how do you not just immediately go for the move
where you just put your hand on their head and say, like, can't get me? It's classic. Sheesh. If you're an adult, how do you not just immediately go for the move where you just put your hand on their head and say,
like,
can't get me?
That's,
it's a classic.
Headlock.
Maybe give them a
noogie.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
When's the last time
you gave someone a
noogie?
A couple days ago.
I saw Dylan out.
Somebody gave me one
and took all my hair.
Oh,
I'm sorry.
Self-deprecation.
Right. I'm joking. hair. Oh, I'm sorry. Self-deprecation. Right.
You're joking.
Right.
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Now everybody wants to hear what we've been waiting to talk about.
Cinnamon Toast Man.
Okay.
Cinnamon Toast Man.
So I was late to the TL when it came to this.
I'm still not fully abreast of the situation.
That's the word you chose.
It's the right word.
Okay.
So the trending topic that hit me that I couldn't not mention,
Hot Carl was trending.
Yeah.
And it turns out that the guy, the man in question here,
the cinnamon man, was in a band once called Hot Carl.
It was a rapper named Hot Carl.
Yeah, that was his name.
This dude's a rapper?
I don't know if you would call him a rapper.
That might be very generous.
I have not heard if he spits or not, but he's going to end up having one of his freestyles come out and just get canceled.
Does he have bars or not?
Up in the air.
Call him Hot Barrel.
That's not good.
Stop.
It's not good.
So what happened?
I mean, everyone knows what happened at this point.
This dude who hosts a podcast and is married to Topanga from Boy Meets World just happened
to open up his Cinnamon Toast Crunch
because apparently his kid likes eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch like little cookies.
He's got like a two-year-old or some shit.
And he found two shrimp tails in this thing.
Why'd you say it so sassily?
Because I hate this dude.
Okay.
I hate this dude.
You thinking this might be staged for publicity?
All I'm saying is this.
Someone said that.
If this came from a Twitter account with like 250 followers
that just doesn't really have much of a following,
then I might give them some more credibility.
If this is staged, that is beyond messed up to try to take a brand down like this.
A brand that we all know and love.
What has Cinnamon Toast Crunch done to all of us besides just make us happy day in and day out when we're little kids?
Like, it's a top.
Is it a God tier cereal? Wow. Yes, it's top five. top is it a god tier cereal wow yes it's top five wow it's god tier i think it's god tier on god facts you did
a lot you did a lot hey did the cinnamon toast crunch twitter account like respond like yeah
they're please they're not they're not super quick to admit any wrongdoing here.
They shouldn't be.
They're investigating.
What'd they do?
We don't know what happened.
Here's the thing.
I just don't understand.
How it could happen?
Maybe I'm just a sympathizer for Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
I don't know.
But if I actually found that in my Cinnamon Toast Crunch, yeah, I'm throwing that bag away.
But I'm going to go to the store and I'm going to get a new one.
I just hate that it was discovered by someone who has something to promote.
Yeah.
What is his podcast?
I'm not telling that.
It stinks.
I'm not saying that on this air.
We already gassed up his hip-hop career.
It stinks.
It's true.
Hot Carl.
Check out Hot Carl.
That is.
It stinks.
Five greatest rappers of all time. Hot Carl. Hot Carl. Hot Carl. Check out Hot Carl. That is stinks. Five greatest rappers of all time.
Hot Carl, Hot Carl, Hot Carl.
If he's doing this for publicity, I can say the word, I promise.
Then, you know what?
I hate this guy, and I'm going to fight him with one boxing glove on.
It's just a little sus.
It's super sus.
Mad sus.
Like, really, dude?
Facts, dude.
Really?
Yeah.
And then he opened up, he got this from Costco, so there were two bags in it, and he said
the other bag was taped shut, and there was some string in it i'm sorry excuse me string
maybe this is a costco problem player why don't you go with them
it would be weird if they were packaging cereal in the same facility where there's they're de-shrimping or detailing shrimp detailing yeah
hyphenated maybe we see what you mean yeah i've gone on record saying that like i'm not proud of
this but like normally if i find like a little hair in my food somewhere oh god i know the gross
is you out dave but like i have to assume that considering the fact that i'm my my head is
covered in hair it's probably mine.
So I usually just scrape to the side and move on.
I'm not proud of that.
But when it comes to Cinnamon Toast Crunch,
they've been there for me longer than most.
I stand with Cinnamon Toast Crunch in this situation.
He also, like, they told him, they're like, can you please,
they asked him to send it in to them so that they could see it and they could dissect it.
And he's refusing to do so, And he's just doing Twitter bits now.
Yeah, because he says he doesn't trust them to conduct the.
All right, dude, this isn't the fucking Warren Commission.
Just send it in.
It's serial.
Yeah.
Like this guy, if this guy actually wanted something out of this other than just like
clout, then he would he would go by the book and, you know, correspond with them via email
and stuff like that.
But he's trying to be transparent.
He's putting it all in the timeline.
I don't like that. But he's trying to be transparent. He's putting it all on the timeline. I don't like this.
If it's revealed that he is making this up,
if it's some kind of hoax for some kind of self-promotion,
people are going to rally behind Cinnamon Toast Crunch,
and I am here for it.
I'm going to buy a whole case of it.
Do you know who's weirdly silent throughout this entire process?
Topanga.
Topanga.
What do you have to say, Topanga?
I'm looking at a photo of her and Hot Carl with Boban, who's a very large human.
Hot Carl's not even that hot, I'll just say it.
Let me say this.
No, he's not.
The photo we were looking at last night, what is the shirt?
What's going on?
Oh, and that guy's shirt?
It's an all-time bad shirt.
There's a photo of them with Boban, Topanga, and Hot Carl, and we were wondering
if it was real or not because his shirt
the collar
is too...
The seams are off. It's like there's a curb
in his collar.
It's got to be intentional, but
I don't like it.
It's an all time bad shirt.
I don't trust this guy at all.
No.
So Topanga has not spoken.
Is she even on Twitter?
Hard to say.
What's her real name?
Danielle Fischel.
Oh, Fischel.
Kind of a good name.
Yeah.
I was never the biggest Topanga guy.
What show was it?
I never watched it.
Boy Meets World?
I never watched that stupid show.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Don't.
If there's one thing that has been there for me more than Cinnamon Toast Crunch through my childhood,
it would probably be Boy Meets World.
I think it's my all-time favorite child show.
I loved it.
Because it stinks.
No.
It did not stink, dude.
It stinks, man.
You would have thought Sean Hunter was a bad boy, dude.
Remember the time he put the cherry bombs in the post box?
I don't know. Mr. Feeny, dude? Danielle Fisch he put the cherry bombs in the postbox? I don't know.
Mr. Feeney, dude?
Danielle Fischel's too cute for this guy.
Dude, she's above his pay grade.
And she's a legend.
True. In her own right.
And she didn't have to do a false flag with cereal and shrimp to get there.
I'm just disgusted by this whole situation.
If this guy's making all this up, boy, uh-uh.
Hell no.
Think about all the things.
Okay, there's food processing plants everywhere in the world.
Shit's going to go sour sometimes.
Right, right.
You know, like, I'm not ready.
I would venture to guess that 99.999% of Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal gets delivered to the grocery store and it's in great shape.
And if you think I'm not going to eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch moving forward because of this, you're crazy.
Yeah, you're crazy.
I really like the fact that Cinnamon Toast Crunch is like, we're not giving in yet.
We're not ready to admit any wrongdoing here.
They're pushing back a little bit.
We're going to figure this out.
I like it.
Hold up, bucko.
Because it goes against the prevailing, like, oh, the customer's always right thing.
But sometimes the customer's a dickhead, Dave.
You remember right after we graduated, they called you Cinnamon Toast Munch?
No, I don't remember that.
Why would they call me that?
You just ate that stuff all the time.
That was your breakfast of choice.
As a kid, I had it a little bit. But it's been a while. I don't know why they would call me that? You just ate that stuff all the time. That was your breakfast of choice. As a kid, I had it a little bit, but it's been a while.
I don't know why they would call me that.
What?
We have a new pastry stand at Wilmont's.
What's it called?
Cinnamon's.
Okay.
That's so stupid, man.
It's cool.
Wow.
It's hell-themed. Cinnamon's cool. Wow. It's hell themed.
Cinnamons.
Because of sinning.
Do you get it?
Oh.
Mm-hmm.
Spooky season moves on.
I thought it was cinnamon play.
Free hot sauce on your croissants.
It's hell themed.
Mm-hmm.
That's good because I've been on a real health kick.
There you go.
Do you think the STEM girl is still listening?
Is it STEM or STEM?
STEM.
We don't know, man.
We have STEMies on the mind.
To be clear, it is not stem cell therapy.
It is an acronym.
She may study stem cell, but it's an acronym for science.
That's under the umbrella of science and tech and other things.
Engineering and
what's the M?
Munching.
Munch.
No, that's not what it is.
I don't know.
She minors.
She's definitely not listening anymore.
And we just lost her.
But we appreciate her business.
What are you doing?
Is it time for this weekend of fun?
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Can I come over with Parks?
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Just let me know what you're doing.
If there's a huge gap in the itinerary I send you, that's supposed to be there, just FYI.
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Dylan, what are you doing this weekend?
Oh, man.
We're never going to get through that.
Checking out that Discover feed?
Probably.
You popping some pimples?
I heard your anti-skin routine now because you want to get more pimples so you can pop them.
Just eating a lot of chocolate.
What if we found out Dylan was a secret TikTok star and he just popped his pimples on camera all the time? There's probably a market for that.
Oh, for sure.
Bigger than your foot market?
Probably at OnlyFans, too.
Dude, a pimple on your foot.
Okay, anyway.
That's doing numbers.
Anyway.
I don't like that. It's very numbers. Anyway. I don't like that.
And it's very painful.
Probably.
I've gotten one on my big toe before.
Where the hair is, like the knuckle part?
Yeah.
Did you pop it?
Yeah.
I stay popping those things.
You have a problem.
You should see a dermo.
This was like in high school.
I actually have pretty good skin.
You guys don't?
I don't really worry about that shit anymore.
Did I tell you about the planters ward I had in ninth grade?
No, do tell.
Brutal. I had a cane for like two days. I had to have it laser removed. I don't really worry about that shit anymore. Did I tell you about the planer's ward I had in ninth grade? No, do tell. Brutal.
Had a cane for like two days.
Had to have it laser removed.
Really?
Shout out to Dr. Nakamura.
You brought a professional
wrestler to school
because you had...
He killed his brother
in a fit of rage.
What the hell is going on?
He burned the place down.
What is happening here?
Okay, that dude's tall, man.
What are you doing
for your weekend?
He's a big boy, seven feet tall.
Don't.
What is it you're doing?
Honestly, nothing, man. So, Parks' mom... Cool man. What are you doing for your weekend? He's a big boy, seven feet tall. Don't. What is it you're doing? Honestly, nothing, man.
So, Barks' mom.
Cool.
I'm glad you were like.
Barks' mom is on vacation, so I have him throughout the whole weekend, which I'm really excited
about.
We're just going to hang.
We're probably going to swim him at some point.
It's getting a little warm out.
Oh, dude, maybe Will will have you over to his pool.
That'd be great.
That'd be really nice if he did.
Yeah, we have nothing, man.
I want to see Nancy, honestly.
Hopefully I get the info.
Okay, man, why don't you just calm down?
Yeah, maybe you chill.
Like, are you trying to have a moment again with my mom?
Stop, dude.
We're just going to be mobbing, chilling, hanging.
Doesn't sound like there's any mobbing going on at all.
Drinking apple juice and stuff.
I'll have a busy.
He'll have an apple juice.
It'll be one of those weekends.
Watch movies.
Why go see a movie if the weather's bad?
You know?
I don't know.
Just chilling.
That's it.
That's it.
Watching the Dell match play.
Doing some of that, too.
That's fair.
I didn't think about that.
Yeah.
That's all I got, guys.
Very cool.
Dave, how about you?
What are you doing, Dave?
Oh, you've got a big weekend ahead of you.
Yeah, I'm going to be in Dallas Friday and Saturday.
He was staying in Dallas.
I've got a good buddy of mine getting hitched, married.
Well, you've met him.
He was actually there the last time I got kicked out of a bar.
He was actually –
Fort Worth, Texas.
Last time I – no, not the last time I saw him, I don't think.
But the first time I met him, I shut down the hotel bar with him at your wedding.
Yeah.
Gave him a hug in the middle of the street at 3.30 a.m. as I waited for my Uber.
He was the one who bought me the last drink before we retired for the evening.
My dad was like, you don't need to be drinking that.
I don't know why I gave him a hug before I got my Uber, but I think we just bonded.
He's not a hug guy.
Yeah.
At that point, it was just like, dude, this was fun.
We even exchanged numbers.
Wow.
Just shoot him a text congratulating him.
I'll do it on Saturday.
Let me know when he's at the altar and I can send him a text saying congrats.
I'll be the first to say congratulations.
Yeah.
I don't think I'm going to know a lot of people there, but it should be a good time.
So I'll be up there.
I'm probably going to link with Intern Klein Saturday.
We got some tee times we made.
We may do that, or we might just go watch the big games somewhere out in Dallas.
Who knows?
You might catch us on a patio.
We'll see about it.
A patio.
It's like Mario. It's a me, A patio. It's like Mario.
It's a me, a patio.
That's good.
That's real good.
Coming to drink on me.
Dude, I got a big weekend.
You guys ready for this?
Yeah.
Nancy's coming here.
Yeah, my mom's coming to town.
My cousin's also coming to town.
But the original Will Mommy's going to be in the building.
She's requested to see the lodge.
Really?
Told her maybe.
Ooh, let's clean the joint up.
Told her maybe.
So we're going to be doing some parental stuff.
She's actually coming to town.
She's fully vaxxed.
She's very happy about that.
She's double vaxxed up?
She's vaxxed up, dog.
Vaxxed up to the max, though.
And she decided to make a guest appearance at Sally's baby shower this weekend.
Hey!
Let's go! I don't know how you have a baby shower before's baby shower this weekend. Hey. Let's go.
I don't know how you have a baby shower before the baby's even born.
It seems like a waste of water to me.
Yeah, true.
But, yeah, so we're doing that.
And it is what it is.
So, yeah, we're going to be hitting some of my favorite hot spots in Austin.
Maybe eating some Tex-Mex.
Maybe having a little barbecue.
I'll see you there, man.
Yeah, dude, for sure.
Keep an eye out for that itinerary.
That's definitely coming to your email at some point.
Okay, great.
For some reason, your email's not working.
Really?
Domain error.
I'll reach out to Google.
Yeah, please hit up the Google, please.
And then, as I've talked about before, it's race week, baby.
F1.
Let's go.
F1, baby.
Remember how the last time I came to town, Dave?
We went to a club called Pop.
And I accidentally took an edible.
Oh, that was that time?
How do you accidentally take an edible?
Because they were in an Altoid container and they were mint flavored.
And when I needed a mint after I'd eaten at Ranch 616, I decided I usually – when I eat owl toys, I'm a bad boy.
They're dangerously strong, but I like to live on the wild side.
And so I took two of those.
And it turns out they were each five milligram edibles.
And then we went to a champagne bar called Pop immediately after where the lights went off.
And I did some dancing.
I've got video footage.
I don't know if we've ever posted that. I don't know if we've ever posted that.
I don't know if we need to.
It's been somewhere.
Someone has posted it in some capacity.
I plan on never going to pop ever again.
The rest of my life.
It's not even like a cool,
like,
you know,
like there's,
there's some of those clubs that can be kind of fun,
like on rare occasions.
If you're really doing a big pops,
not one of them.
It's like a weird,
tiny little place.
Low rent in there. The VIP lounge is like a half shit about pop dude do we know somebody
there's nah nah fuck pop they do say once you pop you can't stop though maybe one of our former
interns used to be a server there for like a minute that's our that's our only connection
okay i think she might have been there that night really I could be mistaken
I was hammered so
not that you would remember yeah like we said
I unintentionally took too many edibles
it is rare
rare territory
the only other time I've seen you like that
is like the when I flew
in town for your wedding and we surprised
you oh yeah you were the last arrival
you guys were
that's the most you don't get you didn't do anything like crazy you don't want
assholes but your crew i have not been around a crew that was that absolutely just hammered drunk
dude we were excited i mean everybody we brought it people's wives were just like we are elite like
pulling people out of chairs like we have to go and like
people were passing out of the table it's the time change the time change going from the east coast
and then like going to california all of a sudden like you think you're drinking at like 7 p.m it's
10 p.m at a time we showed up and we got in at like 10 and we were like pretty sober and it was
just like do we play ketchup because you know
that that's always dicey i don't think drinking ketchup would get you on that level that's good
how do you do this i only drink hunts i did go back to uh is that is that mike's company
yeah my i did come on. What are you doing?
I did go back to that restaurant because I didn't remember eating the dinner there,
so I wanted to go try it again.
And I will say, I enjoyed it.
I had some duck prosciutto.
No one's doing that.
Yeah, you don't see that. I think your boy, Tube Socks, might have tried to feed me a slice of French bread pizza or something.
Hell yeah.
When I sat down, I tried to put it in my face.
Oh, the tube steak that he was giving you?
We talking about this, man.
Tube steak.
You liking the tube steak, eh?
Do you guys want any of Will's breaking news?
It's a me, a tube steak.
Yes, yes, we would like that.
We got to go.
Do you guys want a little choose your own adventure?
Yeah.
We got Teslas, screen time, and washed media acquisitions.
Let's go to the last one.
Acquisitions?
Mm-hmm.
Turns out we didn't get Prince Harry.
He got hired by some startup in Silicon Valley.
Now he's like their chief impact officer, their CIO.
I don't really know what that means.
Who are we acquiring?
I don't know.
It's hard to say.
But, yeah, our top target was a member or a former member of the royal family.
And I thought he would be a good get.
It gives us like a British dude, which is always good for conference calls.
It gives us a ginger, which is pretty tight.
I'm a big fan of them.
Oh, come on.
And I thought kind of the capital that he could bring to the table might help us too.
But, unfortunately, he's working for some Silicon Valley company now.
Dylan's our deep impact officer.
No comment?
No.
Wow.
Playing your cards close.
I like it.
Do you want Tesla for screen time?
Tesla's.
Are you guys aware that you can now buy a Tesla with Bitcoin?
I saw that.
I tried.
I don't have enough Bitcoin.
I don't think I have enough either, actually.
Not yet, at least.
Yep.
You can now buy it with Bitcoin.
Maybe if you wouldn't have sold yours so early, you could probably actually afford one without even having to think about it.
I'm back in the game.
Yeah.
Do you remember what percent of a Bitcoin you sold at the time that you sold?
I believe I sold about one-fifth of a Bitcoin.
So like 20% of a Bitcoin?
Yeah.
Dude, that's a pretty good chunk of change.
And this was back when it was not worth what it's worth now.
Yeah.
I mean, you've got to be kicking yourself.
Yeah, a little bit.
Does it keep you up at night thinking about how rich you could be?
No.
Generational wealth.
Pretty funny that you didn't buy the dip.
Well, I got back in the game.
I'm positive.
I'm net positive, at least.
Hey, it also says that if you do buy it with Bitcoin,
that you get a really stupid personalized license plate for free.
That's pretty sick.
What is with their vanity plates?
It's blockchain.
The vanity plates are?
They're digital.
Are they not?
Why are license plates not digital?
Why do you have to have an actual plate?
I don't know, David.
Why do cars not have solar panels on them?
Why does Texas require you to have a license plate on the front of your car, too? Guess what? I don't know, David. Why do cars not have solar panels on them? Why does Texas require you to have a license plate on the front of your car, too?
Guess what?
I don't.
Well, that's bad boy shit.
Yeah, you're supposed to, David.
I keep it $300.
I got pulled over for it once, and they said, just get one.
I'm like, all right, fair enough.
Okay, cool.
Fair enough.
That's not worth writing a ticket and dealing with it.
Nah.
Nah, you don't want to do that.
You guys want screen time?
Yeah.
A U.S. company will pay you $2,400
to stay away from screens for 24 hours.
No thanks.
I don't know why they would do this.
But it says,
if you put your phone away for 24 hours,
you might just get $2,400 out of it.
Reviews.org,
a U.S. company that tests
home services and products,
is holding a 24-hour
digital detox challenge
where they'll pay
their chosen challengers
over $2,000 to survive a whole day without screens.
This includes not just your phone,
but a bunch of other stuff.
I had it up, and now I'm losing where it was.
But this means you can't watch TV at your house for the 24 hours.
You can't do anything.
You can use a microwave.
They noted that.
You're a microwave boy, right, Dave?
That's a screen?
No, they said you are allowed to
use a microwave why wouldn't you it's nothing to do with screens 20 you don't think you could do
it for 24 hours start right now at uh 11 37 a.m i could do it i don't think you could i could do it
i don't think you could i i'd be like i could do it twitching at the end of it i didn't know
like withdrawals you know but i could do it no you can't the end of it. I didn't like withdrawals, you know, but I could do it.
No, you can't twitch it because then if you twitch it,
that's the screen that you're in front of.
I'm sick of you.
That's not how it works, dude.
This would be tough for me.
$2,400?
All the screens in my ride.
Right.
You wouldn't be able to have your cam out for, like, the baby.
Ooh. Think about that. I'd have to just stand there watching him yeah you have to physically hang out with your kid sounds miserable do people do that i don't know it's kind of creepy when
you're looking at that thing the camera that is or the uh yeah the screen in the other room and like it's dead silent
and then all of a sudden
like the baby's eyes open
and it's just
on the night
you know it's kind of
it's not night vision
but it kind of is
and it's just like
oh what's he doing
and he starts giggling
and whispering
aww
what are you doing up there dude
that's cute
so fucking cute.
Can we get out of here?
Yeah, please.
He likes this noise.
That's his grunt noise.
I think I saw a video of that.
It was a mega cute scene.
You did?
I feel like I did.
I could be wrong.
Can we put it on the soundboard?
It's the God tier patreon swag bye