Circling Back - Bit Madness Final Four & Boober Eats
Episode Date: March 25, 2020We're here — The Final Four (and Championship) of the 2020 Bit Madness Bracket. We also hear from friend of the podcast, Flounder, and discuss a Portland strip club that pivoted to food delivery. An...d finally, This Weekend in Quarantine. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (3:20) What Did Dillon Have For Dinner Last Night? (8:22) Checking In With Flounder (20:22) Portland's Boober Eats (34:46) Bit Madness Final Four/Championship (51:05) This Weekend in Quarantine Figs: www.wearfigs.com (STEAM15 for 15% off) Liquid IV: www.liquidiv.com (CIRCLINGBACK for 25% off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge last time for a bit
oh it's sad major shout to the lodge my name is will defreeze my right david ruff what to do baby
let's go i don't even know if people could hear that over the music that's riding out right now.
Hey, I finally saw what the dude next door looks like.
What's he look like?
Exactly what you think he looks like.
And by the way, he's not, even though he's the only one in his office,
he's still dressed like super business profesh.
I heard him earlier.
You were on the phone earlier with somebody, I don't know who,
and I heard him request from somebody to get the phone earlier with somebody, I don't know who, and I heard him request
from somebody
to get three gallons of milk.
Three gallons of milk?
What do you need
three gallons of milk?
You know he drinks
whole milk too.
Oh, hell yeah.
Dude.
So,
we leased this place
in December.
Didn't move in
until mid-January.
Now we're here
in late March
and we're about to leave again for who knows how long.
I'm not spending enough time in the Lodge, man.
I know.
The Lodge is taking a lot of L's.
I'm just going to come up here and hang out.
I love the Lodge.
They can't keep me out.
Austin's officially under quarantine.
Starting at 1159.
We're recording this episode early from the Lodge because we didn't want to rob you guys of impeccable quality.
Sure.
So we decided to do it the day before.
But yeah, as of 11.59 tonight, Austin's on lockdown, baby.
Yeah.
We do have a solution in place in the interim.
I'm excited for the solution.
We'll see.
It should be fine.
It looks like it's going to be fun.
It'll be nice to not... I'm at the point now where I just don't want to leave my apartment for two solution. We'll see. It should be fine. It looks like it's going to be fun. It'll be nice to not...
I'm at the point now where I just don't want to leave
my apartment for two weeks.
I'm not looking forward to being there, but I don't want to
leave. I don't want to touch anything.
I want to stop thinking about
not having to touch things.
It's a good thing. That being said,
I'm not bummed
that I don't have to drive anywhere or anything like that.
I am stoked because I am under a quarter a tank of gas,
and I really don't want to go to the gas station.
I went the other day.
I think we talked about it.
Yeah, I got a wet one, and I just put it on my hand,
and I kept it on there for the entire time.
You ever thought about this?
Why don't they make latex gloves that are just made out of Clorox wipes?
Hey, I heard you are a wet one.
The Valero.
I shouldn't be giving this out publicly, but here I am.
The Valero on William Cannon.
It's like right across from where that 24-hour fitness is.
They have hand sanitizer pumps by each gas pump.
It's tight.
Wow, dude.
You gave out that info.
It's like people are just going to flock there now, dude.
It's the only gas station I use.
I love it.
Anyway.
I'm sorry.
Before that, did you say, hey, I heard you were a wet one?
Yeah.
Ooh.
Wet ones are trash.
Hey, I heard you are a wet one.
Give me Clorox or give me death.
You're right.
You're right.
As someone who has a pack of wet ones in his bag right now, I wish it was something else.
I do feel like I have the shittiest version of what I need.
At least we call Dave the wet one.
Dylan's dinners are the wet ones of just the meal world.
If you look in Dylan's phone, he has people named wet one.
Chicken fajitas.
Did you get takeout?
No.
Did you grill? Really? My sister and brother-in-law
were over they've been quarantined don't worry uh they came over and uh they we we cooked up a nice
little dinner it was great did you cook it up or did they cook it they cooked it up yeah it makes
sense they actually cooked it on their grill at home brought it over and we heat it up in the
oven so you essentially got takeout.
It was brought to me, yes.
Hey, your boy did chicken thighs yesterday for lunch.
Just wanted to put that out in the universe.
Cold beer on a Monday night?
No.
I did have a cold beer last night, actually.
I had a cold beer as well.
What kind of cold beer did you have? It was a Four Corners Brewery.
Shout out Dallas, Texas.
It was the Reese Rutter?
It's the pop, yeah, the Pop Top.
Although, bad news, I heard they're no longer doing the Pop Top.
I found that out last night.
Wow, that's devastating.
Yeah, it was the local buzz.
I had a light-hearted ale.
The brother or sister, maybe, who knows, of the two-hearted ale from Bell's in Michigan.
How about that?
I got to say, I wish it was higher alcohol percentage.
3.7 is not really doing much, but it tastes great.
Am I going to get a beer belly if I do one beer a night?
No.
I kind of intentionally am trying not to drink too many beers
because I just don't want to drink a bunch of beers
and be stationary for the entire day.
I popped a couple tops last night, if I'm being completely honest with you.
I had the last remains of a bottle of wine.
I can tell.
Like a little tiny quarter glass.
And then that didn't do enough for me, so I poured a beer.
I can tell, Dylan, because your face looks fucked up.
Man.
Yeah, you do look hungover today.
What?
No, I don't.
You look like you ate fajitas and drank a bunch of beer.
Well, that's what happened.
It was lit yesterday.
Is your sister social distancing?
Yeah.
So she works at a school, and they've been closed down for a while.
She's been chilling at the crib.
And same with Kendall.
Okay.
I have to ask.
No.
You've been very locked down this entire time,
and this is the first time I've heard you conversing with other people.
I'm being very responsible.
Trust me.
Okay. I'm with the homie.'m not gonna put him in danger come on
he might put you in danger boomer maybe sally had a i guess i can't sally told me a story about a
patient she had the other day she didn't tell me any any uh specifics so don't worry about no
hipa violation apparently the girl i was like it was the most teen girl i've ever seen in my entire life she was actually tossing out the word boomer as an insult to her parents
that's funny the doctor had to intervene and be like hey you need to be nicer to your parents
and he's like she was like oh he's such a boomer you gotta think she's on twitter i can tell you
that girl sucks she sucks it doesn't speak very well for the younger generation that Boomer is considered like a fucking zinger.
It's not cool.
It's not creative.
It doesn't sound cool.
No.
I've heard cooler.
So.
Let's run off the top.
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I got to tell you, this stuff is saving me on my runs. Dude, it's great. Because I'm a sweat boy.
Dude, we get it.
You exercise now.
I sweat.
I've been putting some during my workouts lately in a giant Yeti.
It's not yet.
It's refreshing.
And you feel like you're replenishing.
Yeah.
It's just the best.
Dylan.
Yeah.
I know you're probably not going to be a social butterfly for now,
but you also just don't want to get up to go to the sink or purifier
or whatever the hell you're drinking water out of all the time.
Just get some liquid IV in there and multiply your hydration
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What are you doing?
I can't.
It's funny.
Funny imagining that.
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You guys know half of Americans report that they fight with daily fatigue?
I've got it right now.
That's just low T, though.
No, I'm just kidding.
I'm taking my shit, though.
I'm good.
I need to get my shit.
I'm running low.
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Hey, we got a special guest.
Hey, first, in the spirit of telling people about good deals,
can we tell them about what we're doing on Patreon right now?
Yeah.
If you are a listener of this podcast, thank you for that.
But you are not yet a patron.
We have made one of our episodes from last week free to the public,
open to the public, I should say.
Go check it out.
It's last week's
triple dipper
Tuesday episode
just to give you an idea
of what you're missing out on
go check it out
it is available to you
for free
the triple dipper
from last week
patreon.com
slash circling bag podcast
the episode has everything
it's got fun and easy banter
it's got some sports talk
it's a great
it's a grab bag
it's got Lister voicemails and worst weekends.
Yeah, grab bag.
I know, I'm trying to explain what's in the grab bag. Can I pull back the
curtain on the name?
So when I was trying to think of a podcast name
that I could do for Washed Media,
Triple Dipper came to mind
and then I realized like, dude, that's
this is not going to
be it. Because there are three of us? Well, no,
it was going to be just like three, it was going to be a podcast I did weekly and it was going to be it Because there were three of us Well no It was going to be just like Three
It was going to be a podcast
I did weekly
And it was going to be
Three topics
Completely independent
Of each other
Much like the triple dipper
Platter at Chili's
I see
And
It quickly
I decided not to do that
But I reserved the right
To bring that back
Just want to put it out there
And Dylan
It's ours now
It's ours now
No
It's ours now
It belongs in the streets
Like memes Dylan I saw you looking at's Arsenault. No. It's Arsenault. It belongs in the streets.
Like memes.
Dylan, I saw you looking at me doing an order with the credit card.
It's a Twitch purchase. Dude, you're entering the territory of me saying that I'm going to watch Game of Thrones
when it comes to Twitch.
I know.
Dude, I know that.
So I'm trying to get out of here.
I've encountered some obstacles.
To all the people wondering if I'm going to be watching Game of Thrones during this,
I've decided against it.
Officially.
I am here, once again, asking you for your patience.
Will.
Come on.
You're an idiot.
Dude, you're going to enjoy it.
You're going to enjoy most of it.
You're never going to do it.
Correct.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm sure it's great.
Why did you just make the uncut
gems guy face what i do you ain't correct i just don't i don't know you're right dylan if i don't
do it now i'm never gonna do it and the fact that i don't want to do it now just signals that maybe
i need to stop putting the pressure on myself okay okay our premarital counter says that i put
too much pressure on myself Aw Will
She didn't know you
She didn't know shit
She was laughing as she said it
Because I told her the things that I put pressure on myself for
And she was like that
You don't have real problems
And I was like I know
She's a real one though
Are we gonna
Are we gonna have to call somebody
Dude let's holler at somebody
Should we even say who we're calling
Or should we just call them right now
We should probably introduce No no no let's justller at somebody. Should we even say who we're calling or should we just call him right now?
We should probably introduce him.
No, no, no.
Let's just call him.
It's ringing.
Everyone knows who he is.
Turn it up.
Turn it up.
What's Dave doing?
What's up, Big Daddy?
What's up, Flounder?
What are you up to?
Oh.
Flounder.
Y'all got the whole crew?
Oh, yeah, baby. You're live, baby. Oh, I am. to. Oh. Are y'all got the whole crew? Oh, yeah, baby.
You're live, baby.
Oh, I am.
I'm on the spot.
Here we go.
Let's get into it.
Flounder, I have a question for you.
I got an answer, brother.
How does it feel knowing that these two voted you out of Bit Madness?
Look, if I was playing favorites, I wouldn't be able to vote against anything on there.
You know, there's too much good stuff happening in that bracket to it.
I mean, would you rather be stuck in a room with a big cat or me?
That's a fair question, I guess.
I'd much rather be stuck in a room with you. The correct answer is both.
Apparently, Dylan, you'd rather be stuck in a room with a cheetah because you think you can take a cheetah.
Do you think he can take a cheetah?
You think I can?
No, do you think Dylan can?
No. Do you think you can?
No.
No, man, we've gone over this before.
Yeah, we have.
This thing makes its living.
It does what it does best on killing animals.
That's what it does, man.
That's how it eats.
Yeah, it can't go to the mat, though.
Anyway, we've been over this.
Hey, how's self-quarantine treating?
Are you staying home?
What are you doing?
Yeah, I'm at home.
I'm being socially responsible.
Working from home, I got my kind of whole setup going here.
It's been good.
Did a little TV, keeping up with what's going on in the world
and trying to close some deals, man, shake it all out.
What's your home office look like?
Home office?
It's got a desk.
I got a computer set up and a TV and some photos and frames.
Is it true one of your employees had COVID-19?
No.
No, it's not.
I guess it's big people that I know.
Do you know anybody that's had it?
No, not tested positive.
Yeah, Kevin Durant, he's got it.
Hey, do you got it i don't know him personally but i've seen him on tv it's tom hayes
uh what have you been doing to pass the time at night
oh i mean i'm i'm all in i'm i'm a joe exotic baby so i'm all in on it have you finished it yet
Joe Exotic, baby.
I'm all in on it.
Have you finished it yet?
Oh, yeah.
I did first night.
I went all the way through it.
Wow. Because it's so close.
It's not far from Dallas where all this stuff was happening,
where the whole setup was.
No, it really wasn't.
Did they end up moving it to Thackerville?
No, there's nothing there.
I don't want to – I'm not going to spoiler alert anybody,
but there's currently – I mean, there's nothing. I don't want to. I'm not going to spoiler alert anybody.
But there's currently, I mean, there's nothing set up there that I know of.
It should be up there, but I don't know.
I still have Episode 7 to watch, and I know these guys have.
I've got 6 and 7 to watch, so please no spoilers.
Okay, so I'm going to spoil anything.
But here's the deal.
If we started a GoFundMe
just looking at
the price you think
I think we could
buy a baby tiger
because they said
they're like
$2,000
why are they so cheap
it can have
a certain bag
of baby tiger
no
I thought I saw him
selling one for $2,000
yeah
that's what I'm saying
$2,000 or $3,000
that's what I said
there are
golden retrievers that cost more than that look the thing about yeah the thing about one for $2,000. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. $2,000 or $3,000. That's what I said. There are
golden retrievers that cost more than that.
Look, the thing about acquiring
a baby tiger
is that eventually
it becomes an adult tiger.
And you got an adult tiger that lives with you.
Shut up. I'm just saying.
Shut up.
You're such a dad.
You're just raining on the parade.
I'm trying to prepare you.
When they were play fighting with those big tigers,
that was kind of cool.
I just enjoyed the play fighting with a big tiger.
You guys hugging and wrestling each other.
It could be Siegfried and Roy, Dylan and Dave,
tiger fighting.
If we get a tiger,
you guys have to go to Siegfried and Roy for Halloween.
Only if you go as a tiger.
No, actually, I'll go as Siegfried and Roy with Dylan,
and then you have to go as Joe Exotic.
That's fine.
Dude, I think you could have a really good Joe Exotic costume if you wanted to.
I've already been thinking about it.
It's going to be the most overdone costume,
but I think if you do it right, there's a way to do it.
I disagree. I think people think it's going to be overdone now, but I think people are going to be the most overdone costume, but I think if you do it right, there's a way to do it. I disagree.
I think people think it's going to be overdone now, but I think people are going to forget.
I'm actually going to go as his first husband, John.
You can go as property of Joe Gnatic.
That's what his tattoo said.
Oh, the pube tattoo?
Oh, that's right.
It does say that.
Yeah.
Yikes.
I'm going to get one.
If y'all keep calling me, come on.
I'll get a selfie of this property of circling back. All right. I'm going to get one. If y'all keep calling me, don't worry, I'll get a selfie of this property circling back.
All right, we'll pay for it.
Clay, are you calling us from your lockdown bunker, like underground?
Yeah, I wish.
I wish I had one.
I've kind of been thinking about that.
Next time if a pandemic comes around, I'm going to be more prepared.
Definitely with hand hand sanitizer eggs.
I feel like you – I'm surprised you don't have a meat locker.
I do.
I got plenty of meat.
I just don't have a lot of milk and hand panties.
You guys stocked up on hand panties?
No.
No one is.
It's sold out everywhere.
I have milk, though, if you need a plug.
The guy in the next office has it, too. It's about as good. I have milk, though, if you need a plug. The guy in the next office says it, too.
I can send you some milk if you need it.
What kind of milk are you drinking?
Are you drinking whole milk or 2% or skim?
I don't usually drink, so I usually cook with it.
I'm a whole milk boy when I do it.
I bought almond milk yesterday at Central Market just for the hell of it.
It lasts longer than your milk.
It's not even milk.
I know.
It's not.
No. The thing about it
is it's milk and almond.
Yeah, it doesn't really count.
Well, Clay,
we hope you're staying safe, and I hope
you'll go live with us at some point
in the near future.
Yeah, man. That's all I'm doing. I'm going live and staying live here in a safe some point in the near future yeah man that's all i'm doing just going
i'm going live and staying live here in a safe containment zone in the mid love i saw ellis
county has like 7 or 14 confirmed cases yeah it's out there man and that's what i can that's what
you want to tell people are the midlines gonna get back to normal soon enough we just gotta
stay home stay safe and stay cool.
Wow.
Well said.
Stay home, stay safe, stay cool.
How are the Ellis County moms handling it?
Yeah, I don't know.
I've been trying to stay off any of those websites.
Oh, okay.
That's worse than listening to the news.
They'll freak you out more.
That's true.
Plus, you don't want to say anything that will come back around on you
because you're kind of the king of Ellis County.
I respect that.
Elko King, Elko, yeah, I wish.
I don't know about that.
But, yeah, I'm definitely keeping all my vibes positive through this.
That's all we can do.
That's great to hear, man.
All right, well, we'll keep in touch.
Guys, thanks for checking in. And then, Flounder, check him out, brother. All right, well, we'll keep in touch. Guys, thanks for checking in.
And then Flounder's checking out, brother.
All right, later, buddy.
Look forward to getting into you with y'all soon, soon.
Yes, sir.
Lay.
All right, boys.
There he is, man.
It's always good to hear his voice.
Flounder.
If you don't have a smile on your face after talking to Flounder,
you don't have emotions.
When we went live the other night, he told me,
I was, like, making fun of his internet connection. And they don't have you don't have emotions we went live the other night he told me i was like making fun of his internet connection and they don't have google fiber they don't have like
at&t out there they all they have where he's at is like netlink or something yeah some shit i'd
never heard i was like i climbed the other day climbed the other day i was downloading fifa 20
and he he was like hey let's play dude I was honestly kind of annoyed that he had me play him
because I was like, dude, your internet connection is just not ideal.
Bro, are you lagging?
He's lag daddy.
Lag daddy.
Hate to see that.
I forgot about lag daddy.
He hit me with an invite last night and I was in a game.
And then by the time I got around to wanting to play with him,
the Xbox is doing maintenance on the servers.
Nice.
Yeah.
So sorry about that,
intern Klein. Back in Dallas now, though. I can admit, guys,
I finally lost to a backer.
I knew he was going to be good, too.
He slid into my DMs
on PlayStation and said, let me see that unbeaten
streak or something to that effect.
And I was like, this guy means business.
And he immediately scored two goals
on me, and I just couldn't get back.
I'm kind of glad.
You've been getting a little bit too cocky.
I think 4-1, and my goal was not great.
It was definitely the game helping me out.
Outside of that, though, I've been fucking running people,
Will DeFries on PlayStation 4.
This guy's no joke, though.
It's been fun.
I'll be honest.
I've been having a lot of fun playing the backers.
I got a dub on Modern Warfare Warzone the other night with...
Solo dub or what?
No.
I got third solo, which is like an all-time for me, but with my buddy JP.
Dude, shout out to JP.
He's a pilot.
He's one of our pilots.
We're big in pilot Twitter.
Yeah, I have a question.
For some reason.
What?
Have you guys been doing a lot of food delivery or anything like that?
Not any, actually.
Yeah.
Dude, what's embarrassing is that somebody probably just pressed the fast forward button
thinking this was going to be an ad.
It's not.
Have you guys heard about these Portland strippers?
No.
Chicken strippers?
Ooh, that's actually a really good name for them.
Chicken strippers?
No.
So, as you guys know, the Pacific Northwest, I think they got hit pretty hard by Corona compared to...
Northwest?
Pacific Northwest, yeah.
Seattle was still, I think, not great.
But in Portland, a strip club was forced to close, so the dancers are now doing delivery.
Okay, so they're actually the ones doing the delivering correct yes what are they wearing
it says well so there's one photo of this happening and uh one of the girls is wearing
uh what appears to be jean shorts cut into the size of underpants like underwear
that's uncomfortable boots that go above her knee with the fur and uh a hoodie sweatshirt
that is made out of fur and the other one is seemingly wearing the exact same thing.
It's a great fit.
It says Portland finds a way.
Clothes down or strip clubs and dancers will do delivery.
I need to know what's on that menu, though.
So it says that's what's happening at the Lucky Devil Lounge.
Lucky Devil.
Yeah, mate.
So now they're offering takeout order or delivery.
And thus was born Sean Bolden's newest business that he calls,
are you ready for this?
Boober Eats.
That's genius.
You've got to think it's somewhat of an infringement on Uber Eats.
They should let this one slide.
But it's spelled B-O-O-B-E-R.
Yeah, okay.
I respect that.
A little bit of brand confusion, but who cares?
It's for a good cause. It says, so while the rest of
Portland is hoarding toilet paper and pasta,
he bought out one of the local store's
stock of pasties.
You ever had a pasty?
No. It's like a meat pie.
You know, this is smart.
It really is. Instead of
just, you know, throwing in the towel and
folding up shop for a few weeks or whatever,
keep your employees paid.
Stay in business.
Do what you got to do.
I love it.
It says, from 7 p.m. to 1 a.m., Boober Eats is offering a full menu from the Lucky Devil
Lounge at the same prices.
Delivery rates are generally $30, but vary depending on distance from the lounge.
That's a lot for a delivery rate.
I don't know if you download the app and use code circling back whether or not you'll get $100 free delivery
for a week, but that might just be Postmates. It does say if someone wants to give us a couple
hundred bucks to go to the coast, we'll do it as long as the girls are taken care of.
The most popular orders include, are you ready for this? Chicken fingers, steak bites,
and my personal favorite, mini corn dogs. Can you imagine being at a point in your life where
you're paying $30 to have a stripper deliver mini corn dogs to your home?
Dude, mini corn dogs usually sound really good.
It's like a Super Bowl spread menu.
Have you ever been in front of a bunch of mini corn dogs and not just grabbed like six of them?
Mini corn dogs are fantastic.
I love mini corn dogs.
I had mini corn dogs before I had a regular-sized corn dog,
and I can 100% say that mini corn dogs are way better than a normal-sized corn dog.
Ooh, I'm going to fight you on that one, but it's a good take.
So you're paying a premium delivery fee to have these strippers bring you the food.
I hope they're keeping the safety of the ladies in mind.
Because, you know, there could be some creeps out there.
Well, it says all dancers are driven and escorted by a security guard.
There's at least one rule that carries over from the strip club to the pandemic.
No touching the dancers.
Oh, yeah.
You can't get a lappy.
They do have worries about social distancing because the women are with each other.
And they've turned, the club has turned into the headquarters for Boomer Eats.
And on Friday, it remained full of dancers, delivery drivers, and members of the media.
Some of the dancers greeted each other with hugs and took selfies together.
Oh, we don't like hearing that.
The owner, Bolden, is providing masks, disposable gloves, and sanitizing wipes.
I don't know.
80 dancers.
That's a lot.
I wonder if they're doing biz.
How many people have taken them off?
Yeah, I'm wondering if this could get off the ground,
like even when the pandemic ends, is he going to keep this up?
It seems like he could.
Do you think they offer at-home dances or anything for these people?
I feel like that's not social distancing if you're if you're inviting strippers into your home and getting dances from them i bet you there there is that element to it i mean they have a
bodyguard there so to keep things in order i bet you pay them extra and they come inside and give
you a little show they won stop sorry. It was there. I could not.
I'm sorry.
Mom, I'm sorry.
Yeah.
So, yeah, I don't really have anything else on this.
I mean, is there anything we should do?
We should do Dorn Delivery.
Should we deliver podcasts to every single one of our listeners?
We already gave them triple dippers.
We're like Santa.
We're just going to their house and doing a podcast on their front porch.
Have you heard of that haircut place called Sexy Scissors?
No.
There were a few in Austin.
I don't know if it's in other cities too.
But it's called Sexy Scissors and basically the people who cut your hair are hot.
They're sexy?
They're hot women.
What's the sexiest kind of scissors? the ones that detach in the center so you can
use them as knives also i love those and box so i use them for box oh i love a good box opener
calm down keep sorry didn't they used to call you the box opener in high school
i know a dude i know a dude whose dad used to get a haircut from a lady
uh and he would pay extra and she would cut his hair topless.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dude, no.
That shit happens, man.
Yeah.
It's weird.
It's like the most old man thing.
I just can't see a scenario where I get like that.
I don't want that.
No, I don't want to ever get that creepy.
I like to get the haircut over as quickly as possible.
Yeah, I'm good with my T being low and not needing to get horny enough that I need to pay someone $100 to take off their top while they cut my hair.
I'm good with tops on, haircuts.
That's fine with me.
I just have serious concerns about how long my hair's going to get through this process.
I'd rather you not be sexy when you're cutting my hair.
Let me just put that out there.
Wow, you got a smock on you.
What?
Oh.
Is that the...
Wait, what is a smock? The thing that you wear over your shit the cape
yeah you got that over you see the kids yeah i'm not worried about like popping a tent but
good i could have used one of those in sixth grade
just sitting in class i mean fuck dude every morning oh man yeah me i was so obviously i'm
obsessed with love uh love island right now
and they woke everybody up like really aggressively in the episode that we watched yesterday they
started blasting music and like woke them up quickly like I was sitting there I was like dude
like I would there's a good chance I would have morning wood at that point
hey speaking of how did the the big was it big brother they had to reveal that shit I don't know
yeah I asked somebody and Sally Sally researched it because she thought it was just such a crazy Hey, speaking of, was it Big Brother they had to reveal that shit? I don't know. Yeah.
I asked somebody, and Sally researched it because she thought it was just such a crazy idea.
So she researched it, and she found that they did it, and it sounded like they did a good job.
They showed actual footage of the stuff, and so they didn't think it was a joke or that they were being duped.
Right.
If I'm them, though,
I'm really happy that I'm on that TV show
at that point.
I'm like, keep me here until I need to leave.
Yeah.
You know what they ought to do
at the Portland Gentleman's Club,
the Dirty Devil?
What?
They ought to put a camera in there
and just have a little reality show
with all the gals.
Just start getting the footage.
They should just get a bunch of desktops
and make them into cam girls.
Get like OnlyFans account.
You know,
that's the next step.
I'd give you lemons.
Should we buy a strip club?
By the way,
just learned what
OnlyFans was this week.
Did not know what that was.
Is it essentially
Patreon for porn stars?
Not necessarily,
well, I guess,
any young lady,
I believe,
any, okay,
it doesn't have to be a young lady,
anyone who wants to have private interactions
where they can release photos, maybe videos, I don't know,
to a select group of people for an amount of money,
it's kind of like Patreon for thoughts.
Dave, you need to make an OnlyFans of just you smoking meat.
I don't know if that's a good idea.
I think that would actually do numbers eventually. You mean like on the trigger? Yeah. Oh, okay. No, not just smoking your smoking meat. I don't know if that's a good idea. I think that would actually do numbers eventually.
You mean like on the trigger?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
No, not just smoking your own meat.
I mean, we already have Patreon.
Am I in the pervs here right now?
I feel like you're very pervy.
His joke's just fallen.
I'm sorry.
You can tell that I'm hangry,
so you're trying to like overcompensate
by just being pervy as fuck.
Yeah, we're all a little hangry.
All squad hangry.
I had oatmeal and eggs for breakfast.
Even our new sponsor, it's not even a food sponsor, and it sounds good to me.
Dylan, what did you have for breakfast?
You just grabbed a protein bar on the way out the crib.
Yeah.
That's kind of what I did.
Had a cup of coffee at the crib.
Got a protein bar once I walked in here.
Not real great.
You've had two protein bars. No, just one. Just one. The homie spent his first walked in here. Not real great. You've had two protein bars?
No, just one.
The homie spent his first night in his new room last night.
Loved it. The kid's on top
of the world right now. He texted
me. Bad news. He said your place is
haunted. Oh, what?
Yeah, you hate to hear that.
Might want to get your money back on that one, bro.
Yikes. Did he say what it was haunted
with? He said it was a ghoul.
Maybe a goblin.
What's the difference?
One's a ghoul, one's a goblin.
Yeah, dumbass.
This guy.
Pretty self-explanatory.
What's the difference between a ghoul and a zombie?
Zombie used to be a human, but it's dead now it's back.
Okay, so a goblin is a type of living creature
which separates it from a ghoul. A ghoul is just a human, but it's dead. Okay, so a goblin is a type of living creature which separates it from a ghoul.
A ghoul is just a ghost, I guess?
A ghoul...
Ghouls are said to be apparitions of evil spirits,
thus non-living beings.
Goblins are characterized under the dwarf family
and are ugly creatures that are often mischievous.
Ah.
Whoa, how did I say that word?
Mischievous.
Mischievous.
Goblins are...
I like mischievous.
So they're... Okay. Mischievous mr. I like a mischief so they're okay mischievous they're
like mythical characters right almost like they were alive in Middle Earth times right
when was that when did Lord of the Rings happen
I don't know I don't I don't mess with that era you didn't watch have you seen the Lord of the
Rings absolutely not they're excellent I will never watch them dude they're good I don't know. I don't mess with that era. Have you seen The Lord of the Rings? Absolutely not.
They're excellent.
I will never watch them.
Dude, they're good.
Nah.
From the bottom of me heart, F you.
Yeah, dude.
Honestly, Two Towers is so tight.
It's a masterpiece.
It's so good.
I've also never seen any of the Harry Potter films.
That's fine.
I'm halfway through them.
I really do enjoy them a lot.
I just need to have the right time to watch them,
so I don't breeze through them.
It's rainy day only.
Rainy Sunday only.
If you found out your place was haunted,
would you rather it be a ghoul or a goblin?
Ooh, I would rather it be a ghoul.
I think ghouls... I think I'm going with gh ghoul. I think ghouls...
I think I'm going with ghoul also.
I think ghouls have the chance to be nicer.
From what I just read about goblins, they could be outright evil.
They're just out there just fucking shit up.
A ghoul's just kind of like, hey.
Ooh, Dylan, love what you've done with the place.
It's a gentleman, a gentleman ghoul.
Did someone use the last of the aioli?
Okay.
The ghoul's not eating aioli.
You did such a great job with the room.
Look at this light on his bed.
Wow, I love your vaulted ceilings.
More room for me to fly.
The crowd molding is nice in here.
This is stupid.
This is not a real podcast.
Are we talking about figs?
Please.
You know a nurse walks about five miles per shift?
Is that real?
Dude, you got to think that's like doubled right now.
Their step count's just crazy high.
Doctors can work up to 80 hours per week, guys.
Right now, that might be on the low end.
Who even knows?
Like, if there's ever a time that we need to stand all these medical professionals out there, it's right now.
A lot of stress. All my med pros. a lot of stress on the medical industry right now all
they're doing is they're just dedicating themselves to our well-being and shouldn't we do something
nice for them that's why we've got figs baby it's an incredible company that's doing something about
it they design medical apparel that looks good feels good and helps medical professionals
perform it their best no matter what the day throws at them.
Your boy was folding laundry last night.
Sally had some figs in there.
And it just, every single time I have these things in my hands, I think to myself, damn, I need these.
I need these on my body.
You want them on your body? Dude, tell me figs wouldn't make the perfect quarantine outfit.
Wow.
Whole squad quarantining in figs.
Right, Dave?
I could see myself doing such a thing they've got
hella pockets all the pockets you need they've got tons of features and functionality they've
got their own fabric that's antimicrobial anti-wrinkle moisture wicking full of stretch
ridiculously soft you'd think you'd think this wasn't a scrub company based on what you already
know about scrubs well i got news for you it is scrub company. I used to not want no scrubs, but now I do want scrubs.
Figs.
What's wrong with you?
Can I ask a question?
I'm doing a read here, bro.
Yeah.
Is there a doctor in the house?
No.
Not in this house.
Maybe a vet tech, maybe a radiologist,
or any other awesome human in the medical industry.
We're just podcasters.
And even if you don't work in the medical industry,
you definitely know someone that does,
and you should tell them about our gift,
or you should tell them about FIGS or gift them some FIGS right now.
Listeners are circling back, are getting 15% off for a limited time.
Go to wearfigs.com.
That's W-E-A-R-F-I-G-S.com.
Enter code STEAM15 at checkout.
That's how I knew Doc Antle wasn't a real doctor.
He wasn't wearing figs.
No, he was wearing safari outfits.
It's like a little bit of a disconnect there, buddy.
The dumbass.
Fucking bitch.
Hey, you know what I forgot to put on the rundown?
What, dude?
Bit madness.
The final four in the championship.
Oh, dude, this is big.
The final four.
You're probably not.
There's four teams left on two games.
I know how it works, David.
Are we doing the championship tonight or today?
The championship game will be done tonight.
Today.
Right now.
Should we knock it out right now?
Yeah, it's time.
All right.
I put it on there right after we started recording, but I feel like a total.
Hold on.
Let's fucking hold on.
Tip off.
Extreme Peter voice.
It's time.
Let's go.
We've got two Mondo matchups today.
Are you guys ready for this?
Okay, don't say Mondo.
Dude, they're Mondo.
God.
You guys ready?
Yeah.
Matchup number one.
Oh, my gosh.
I'm nervous.
I'm nervous.
This one's the one I'm nervous for.
I don't like this.
This one's the one I'm nervous for.
Dave texting the homie.
Texting him right now.
Versus Wilmont's. I'm going to get my vote out of the way because you guys know I have to ride for it. I got to vote Wilmont's. I'm nervous for. Dave texting the homie. Texting him right now. Versus Wilmonds.
I'm going to get my vote out of the way because you guys know I have to ride for it.
I got to vote Wilmonds.
I just love it.
Can the homie do an absentee vote from where he is?
Can you text him, see what he has to say?
Would you vote for Wilmonds?
Wilmonds, dude.
Put it for his own good.
At this point, you have to be selfish in life.
And when that business is my bread and butter, I have to keep it going.
Can I vote next to put the onus on you, Dave?
I'm trying to think which way you're going to go.
I'm going to onus.
Yeah, go ahead.
I think I have an idea based upon what you just said.
Yeah, I'm going to do Dave texting the host.
Oh, cool.
You put his onus on me.
Why'd you put your onus on him, dude?
Gross.
Dude, I love putting my onus on Dave.
Wow. It all comes down to me
it's weird it's fucked up that you voted for your son yeah well through dave in there too
well and i'm gonna use the same reasoning i used last round this is the homies bit not mine
he's the one texting me therefore the homie or me texting him coaster i did say on monday that would vote
wilmonds through to the championship i lied i didn't mean to it just happened monetarily speaking
wilmonds shirts were a hundred dollars away from them being the most popular shirts
you can't put a price on his son you can't I don't see the homie fucking selling shirts.
But dude, he's our most popular meme.
True.
Wow.
True.
It's true.
I'm okay.
I'll be honest.
I'll be honest.
I'm happy Wilmont's made it to the Final Four.
It was not a number one seed, so making it to the Final Four was just great.
As the owner of Wilmont's, I'd just like to tell everyone to stay home, stay safe.
We will be doing hacky sack deliveries with our waiters and waitresses.
They are not strippers.
Free hacky sacks with every order over $30?
No, we're just delivering hacky sacks.
Oh, okay.
If there's ever a time to pick up hacky sacking again, it's right now.
I'm going to tell you this right now.
If you ever try to deliver a hacky sack to me in any fashion.
Are you going to punt it?
I'm not only going to punt it, I'm going to punt you.
Wow.
I'm going to put my foot in your ass.
Dude, you can social distance and play hacky sack with your squad.
Have you seen the little toilet paper juggle challenge
that all the athletes are doing?
Yeah, it kind of reeks of privilege that they just have toilet paper
they can just waste by kicking around.
Must be nice.
You can still use it.
I've thought about doing one.
The thing is, I don't want to kick around a piece of toilet paper.
How bad of a look would it be to toilet paper someone's house right now?
Not great.
Not great.
The optics of that.
If you toilet paper someone's house,
are people going to loot it and try to grab it off the tree and stuff?
It might be actually the best time because people will confidence.
It'll automatically get cleaned up by people that just need toilet paper yeah have you located some dave we we're good remember those trash
rolls that sally bought on amazon that you and alissa were subjected to at my house one time i
do remember that oh no i still have three of those if you want some of those no i'm gonna wait till
you have to use those. I've got disposable wipes
I can use at the end of the day.
I have like eight rolls.
I should be okay.
I've got 24.
We stocked up right before
this whole thing happened.
Look at this guy.
We were very...
Yeah, man.
I think I'll be all right.
Shit's easy to make.
Just ample production,
like I said, man.
Come on. It's paper. Yeah. Come on. shit's easy to make just ample production like I said man come on
it's paper
yeah
come on
are you guys ready
for the next one
yes
he just texted me again
he said he's got
an ouija board out
the homie
really
yeah he said he's gonna
report his findings
is he talking to the ghoul
presumably
he's probably playing
with the ghoul
jeez
playing
playing with the ghouls I don Playing, playing with the ghouls.
I don't think that's a song.
Ghouls just want to have fun.
I know that one.
Ghouls just want to have fun.
Brand new segment, Mood, Bay, or Ghouls.
Ghouls don't just want to have fun.
Mood, Bay, or Ghouls is a really good segment idea.
Is it the AC on, Dylan?
God, that is a good idea.
I hope I don't have the disease.
I have the chills.
Have you guys been taking your temperature?
Can a ghoul get COVID?
No.
They're immune.
They are?
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Have you guys been taking your temp no fuck no why
because i feel why would i do that i don't feel hundo p why would you take it unless you thought
you had a fever just to make sure no because then you're going to drive yourself nuts you can feel
it before you can before it measures high can you yeah dude will are you are you secretly like a ball of just tight energy inside right now because of this yes okay that's it's not even
secret are you really taking your temperature multiple times twice a day why just to make sure
can you okay honestly the reason the reason i'm doing it is because sally is working at a hospital
that makes sense so i want to be on high alert for any symptoms because i don't want to i mean
honestly like it's probably good that we're this is the last time we're recording face to face
because sally's been off for a little bit just because the hospital has been kind of weird so
she has been she's been off but uh yeah i just i've been on high alert well what you're doing
might be the right thing but i just i would think no you would be able to feel it i think right i
started taking my temperature because I was freaked out
because our AC broke last week for three days,
and I was just sweating all the time.
And because I didn't check our nest, I was like, oh, I'm just fucking hot.
And so I thought I had a fever.
So I don't know if you guys know this, but I've been doing some running outdoors,
and it's very hot outside.
We're aware, man.
It's like 85 degrees, whatever.
So my goal is to just work out and just be always warm,
so that way i won't
even be able to tell if i have the fever it's a great strategy think about it just stay sick
think about it yeah dude you know i stay sick
should we do uh the next round you know what i always thought was the most harsh thing i ever
heard in a rap song and it was like an insult it It was, I'm sorry, this is really random and profane,
but it was
get fucked with a sick dick.
I always heard,
when I heard that,
I was like,
that is so vulgar.
Jesus.
I was,
I was,
I didn't know.
It's not my bar.
It's somebody else.
I was working out yesterday
and I was listening to,
uh,
that like,
I was listening to like a,
a Biggie verse on something.
I forgot about how straight up
inappropriate he can,
he could get back in the day.
Yeah, what were you listening to?
I don't even remember.
I was sitting there.
I was like, man, I forgot that Biggie just didn't give a fuck.
Talking about kidnapping daughters.
I don't know.
Tying them up in a Brooklyn basement.
It was dicey.
Hey, you guys ready?
Yeah.
Drum roll, please.
We don't do that.
That's the drum roll.
Big Cats versus Bluetooth speakers.
You know, this is a tough matchup for BTS, especially right now.
Because Big Cats are having a moment.
Worst time to catch this team.
Big Cats are having a moment.
This team is hitting their stride.
They're hot right now.
They're hot.
Like, they are not missing.
They're shooting like 52% from three.
They're snatching souls from their opponents.
They're covering.
Oh, they're covering.
Great teams cover.
Everybody knows that.
They're on a streak.
The thing is, have they been tested yet?
This is a formidable opponent.
There's not a lot of tests out there, Will.
That's a problem.
Have Big Cats had the opportunity yet to show their grit when it's time to...
They haven't played any close games is what you're saying.
Yeah.
So we don't know.
If it gets down to like the last two minutes, they've never been tested.
Right.
Right.
You go first, Dylan.
Big cats.
I'm just going to get it out of the way.
Big cats.
Bluetooth speakers.
Fuck.
Oh, look who just got the Onus put on them.
Onus boy.
How's that Onus feel, dog?
As much as I love generational fucking wealth i i i'm reading the room man it's it's big cat season it is wow you just killed you just killed bluetooth speakers i have to be a shot
of right between the eyes i'm not gonna kill a big cat look they're having a moment doc antel
i'm not euthanizing the big cat that's a reference to the tiger king problem do we get any clarity on that to anybody who's
finished it what doc antle potentially euthanizing cats not sure not sure i did see that uh that uh
cody antle did get some screenshots put up hey what's up with us that's dylan's buddy so so the campaign manager for joe exotic the guy that he
hired from walmart i find him to be a nice guy seems really nice dude does not do numbers on
instagram which guy campaign manager uh to be clear the campaign manager who was working the
ammunition table at walmart yep so he was selling he was working the the firearms department at
walmart and now he then he was managing the campaign for president and governor have you
gotten to that yet yeah potentially my favorite thread in all of it is him running for yeah
he didn't win or he didn't get the knob nobody did spend all fucking jeff's money he switched
to governor yeah i could do governor you spend all of jeff's money. He switched to governor. Yeah, I can do governor. He spent all of Jeff's money.
Just these people.
We haven't even talked about his litigation strategy.
Just filing counterclaims and just disposing of assets,
like destroying his assets so he couldn't have them secured in a judgment.
I love it, dude.
I love it. It's fraud.
I love it.
It's great.
Did he get a –
I don't know.
I thought about doing a deep dive into the legal filings,
and maybe one of my friends in Oklahoma can hit me with that.
Wow.
Oh, yeah, Big Cats go through.
We have a championship set.
This is a good matchup.
Big Cats versus Dave texting the homie.
What are these seeds, Will?
Do you have that available?
Can I vote first since I have yet to vote first in this round today?
Yeah.
What did you say, David?
What are these seeds?
Do you have those in front of you?
No.
Okay.
Why would you?
We've never done this thing correctly.
No, there's a way to do it correctly.
We've never done it.
But instead of doing it correctly, I've just been doing it in a note in my notes
app. Even since Micah was doing this,
it was always wrong.
Yeah, I'm botching this.
Dave's had the onus the whole time.
The onus is on Dave.
He's been the onus boy.
Wait, so who did you vote for?
I haven't voted yet.
I think I know who I'm going to vote for
though. Okay? I know who I'm going to vote for, though. Okay?
As much as I like both of these, I love them.
Sure.
I love them.
I have to go with a bit that makes me smile day after day.
I don't know if the other one makes me smile
as much as this one does.
I have to go with Dave texting the homie.
I love me some big cats,
but seeing the treatment of them on this documentary
has kind of made me take a step back
and realize that these things are creatures too.
We can't just use them for content all the time.
We have to really put some respect on their name.
So I'm going to go with Dave texting the homie.
Okay.
Dave, do you want to take it from here?
I want you to take it.
You want the onus again, don't you?
Give me the onus.
I want it.
I'm going to rob the onus right away.
You knew this was going to happen.
I'm robbing your onus.
Dave texting the homie is our champion.
Onus Wagner over here.
He's going yard.
Wait, who did you vote for? Dave texting the homie is our champion. Onus Wagner over here. He's going yard. Wait, who did you vote for?
Dave texting the homie.
Are you serious?
You deprived the people of an all-time well-placed song.
What was it?
You made me vote.
I was going to play Here Kitty Kitty to announce the winner and champion.
You can still play it.
Yeah, but it would have been funny.
How many views does Hey Kitty Kitty have on YouTube?
Almost a quarter of a million.
It slaps.
Does he put an ad on there?
Like, is he getting paid every time someone goes to that right now?
It's Joe Exotic TV.
I don't know if he owns the rights to that or if it's the journalist guy,
the sketchy who's a real sketchball.
You know what?
Just play it.
Now I need it.
I need to hear it.
Actually, let's do this one.
And, guys, this is in Memoriam of Big Cats, which is the rightful champion.
There's some suspect calls at the end of that game.
Let's just listen to this and think about it.
I saw a tiger.
There's John laying down his gun.
It's crazy that Joe Exotic's voice is so good
because when he talks it doesn't sound like that.
It's almost like somebody else is singing.
Sneaky sounds like Toby Key.
Sneaky.
Honestly, I would listen to this over a lot of what comes out of that.
It's not terrible.
It's not good.
But it's not terrible.
Why is he standing on the game warden's truck?
Those cats are tight.
It's tight that Tiger saw man.
Man, this is back when it was pure.
This is back when it was just him, John, and the Tigers.
He's electric.
Just all content all the time, which I respect.
Thanks, guys. Sorry, Dave. No, it's okay. We all content all the time, which I respect. Thanks, guys.
Sorry, Dave.
No, it's okay.
We still got to play it.
We have our champion, though, and it's a Dave Bitt.
It's kind of you, yeah.
You should be happy about that.
It's a homie's bit, apparently.
I saw a funny tweet last night.
Text him and let him know that he's a champion.
I'll let him know.
He said he's Ouija-ing.
I don't want to interrupt.
Yeah.
Does a homie make people leave their uh their
phones at the door when he brings men for the weegee session this tweet from what used to be
25 nyc male and is now 28 underscore sex underscore location it says you think you're straight? Wrong, all caps. Joe Exotic just fucked you.
Oh, wow.
Wait, is 25 million YC back?
Yeah.
No, he's not back.
He's definitely back.
Really?
Yeah.
Wow.
It's just funny because the photo, it's just.
You think you're straight. Next thing you know, Joe Exotic's just making love to you.
Joe Exotic does not fuck.
He just makes love.
Hey, it looks like our good friend Bryce Butler landed with Oakland.
Really?
Yes!
Or Las Vegas now, I guess.
Let's fucking go.
Las Vegas.
That's huge, man.
Are you serious?
If the Lions are out, I'm just going with them.
I'm happy for him, man.
If the Lions suck, I'm just going with whatever team Bryce Butler is on.
He's the nicest guy I've ever met.
He's the best, dude.
Love him.
He was on that random golf account the other day.
You see, Dave, you liked it.
He's a golfing fool.
Like Zyre Golf or whatever it is.
Yeah.
They posted a video.
Yeah, he was in that video.
And I was like, oh, that was a great video.
And then they turned the camera and Bryce Butler's just right there.
And I'm like, fuck, this video just got incredible.
Yeah.
It was a dude hitting like a super power draw.
Power slice. Was it a slice? I don't remember. I thought it was a dude hitting like a super power draw. Power slice.
Was it a slice? I don't remember.
I thought it was a hook.
I don't know.
Doesn't matter.
I got really bad news from the world of hip hop.
Noted Houston rapper from the north side, Slim Thug, has COVID-19.
The big boss of the north.
I got faith.
He's from the H at the bottom of the map.
That's right.
Houston. I said north weird. I don the H at the bottom of the map. That's right. Houston.
I said North weird.
I don't know why I said it like that.
I'm not going to even try to say it as he might say it
because that would just be offensive to everyone.
What's the H at the top of the map?
Hartford or something?
Yeah, it's Hartford.
I always thought that there was a pretty good city rivalry
between Houston and Hartford.
Yeah.
Hey, should we do our new segment?
New segment alert? Yeah. Well, I mean, not really. We did it last week it's called uh this weekend in quarantine oh yeah i miss the pre-teen
days so much so i'll start come on well i'll start i'm just gonna be quarantined this weekend
i will probably step out to run around the neighborhood exercise like dave's been doing
a bunch of really dude why don't you i gonna, you know what I'm gonna do?
I'm, I'll get to it. Get an Apple Watch. I'm going to.
We will challenge each other. I'm going to,
because I, I just, I look forward to
Apple Watch during my workouts. Do it, bitch. I look
forward to just embarrassing you. Do it then,
bitch. I'm sorry.
Don't apologize.
Dave's got to be, what?
I was gonna say, Dave's got to be the bitch right now.
I don't really know why I thought that. I mean, I am. I feel like a bitch. I need food. I will going to say, David's got to be a bitch right now. I don't really know why I thought that.
I mean, I am.
I feel like a bitch.
I need food.
I will continue to put my house together.
I got things to hang, things to put away.
Oh, cool, dude.
You got a house.
You need to get sage.
Oh, because of the ghouls?
Because of the ghouls.
Dude, no, don't get sage.
No, you don't need those ghouls.
You have to be six feet away from him, dude.
I will be tempted to purchase.
You got him sick and it could be bad.
I will be tempted to purchase the F1 game that you've been talking about.
Because I looked up some YouTubes of it.
It looks tight.
The gameplay looks sick.
You know how I know you're old?
You just said YouTubes.
I looked up some YouTubes of it.
Some YouTubes.
That's what grandma said.
I'm getting old.
Y'all want to see it?
I am. I don't know if my dad. Yeah, I went on getting old. I don't know if my dad still listens
to the pod,
but the other night
we were doing the family thing
of sending photos of us
hanging out, being quarantined.
He responded
with his own.
I was going to tweet it,
but my wife was like, no, don't tweet it.
That's embarrassing.
It's not that embarrassing.
But I'll show it to you here as soon as I can find it.
And it's not really that good a radio, so I'll just do my weekend in quarantine.
And, dude, yeah, I'm going to be just at the crib.
Oh.
I ordered something for the twitch stream
and it's supposed to get it by thursday so we are thinking it might be twitching twitch boy
twitching uh got that going gonna be playing some call of duty fahita boy swag on xbox
if i don't respond to your invite, I'm in a game
with one of my buddies or something.
Look, I can't respond to all
of them, man. I don't like to...
I'm not saying I'm a popular guy.
I'm not here to S my own D, but...
I've still got my full rib cage.
So you're not going to S your D?
No, no. Correct. Correct.
I just wanted to make that crystal clear. Because if you were going to, I not going to ask your dad? No, no, correct, correct. I just wanted to make that crystal clear.
Yeah, now we know.
Because if you were going to, I was going to...
Does this country have a push-up problem?
A push-up form problem?
Yes.
I've seen a lot of people who are just...
It's like, dude, you didn't have to post it.
You don't have to do it if someone tags you.
10 push-ups.
Like, who can't do 10 push-ups?
I guess apparently a lot of people.
Will. Will can do 10 push-ups. who can't do 10 push-ups i guess apparently a lot of people will will can do 10 push no i know i can do a lot we're not rehashing that conversation
you guys want to do this weekend and fun not really quarantined but yeah sure um
i you know it'll be an interesting weekend you know i'm pretty i'm pretty good at staying home
most of the time anyway,
so it shouldn't be that big of a departure.
But my real plan is just to watch a fuck ton of TV
and play a lot of video games.
It's going to be really lit and tight.
I do plan on picking up some pizza this weekend.
I'm still going to support local biz.
One of my favorite pizza joints is still serving pizzas.
I haven't done it yet.
Pine House?
Pine House is still serving.
I've already done it.
Oh, Jets could be good too.
Bufalina's doing takeout pizzas.
They also have a new wine club.
So I think I might explore that.
They're a restaurant that I like to support.
So I might head out and do that.
But I don't know.
Sally and I are getting dangerously close
to finishing all of Love Island, Australia,
both seasons.
Keep an eye out for a podcast recapping season one
between Sally and I while we're bored one day.
So I think I'm going to have to dip into the
UK version. I just think that
in terms of high quality television, I just
have to keep this Love Island train going instead of starting
something stupid like The Wire
or Game of Thrones or something like that.
That's it.
Did you really call The Wire stupid? I was kidding.
I was kidding, David.
I'll let you call Game of Thrones stupid.
That's fine.
I still enjoyed it.
I'm just going to watch the last season of Game of Thrones.
Just get the gist of it.
My dad, this is the photo he sent us.
Dude, he crushed that.
He nailed it.
The salted rim.
Dude, they got a pop of Cito's to go.
Did they get to go like drinks or anything?
I think that's what that is.
You love to see that. I truly love it, when, when places are saying that they're
doing to go stuff, is there booze in the drinks that you get to go or do you have to put the
no, no, no. It's already made. That's great. Did I tell you, I went to tuck tuck, my little
Thai place, dude, go tuck tucks. Good. Just putting that out there in the universe. Sounds
like the fourth Ninja from three ninjas that offends me as a Tuk Tuk patron
It's like Tum Tum
The guy talked me in
I was like, dude, you guys are doing the beer thing
He's like, yeah
And he's talked me into getting the Singha
The beer of Thailand
He just got four of them
Put them in a plastic bag
Tied it up
And I just walked out with it
I was like, fuck yeah
That's lit, man
Guess what?
I drank all four in about three days.
Look at this guy.
Wait, I'm doing the math right now.
That's 1.3 repeating.
That's more than one per day.
Should we make a shirt that says 1.3 repeating?
The shirt just says 1.3.
It goes all the way across around the armpit and back to the other armpit.
That's a terrible idea for a shirt.
That shirt stinks.
I think it might go.
I don't think so.
Are you guys getting dressed in your places?
No.
Are you putting on actual clothes?
No.
I'm putting on, honestly, sweats,
like gray, like Outdoor Voices shorts and shirts.
Yeah.
I'm only athleisure until further notice.
Unless I'm going on a run, Dylan, you know.
Then you're popping top.
I have not popped top.
I'm not going to pop top.
I do want to, though.
It's pop top weather today.
It's not going to be any better.
I'm popping top today.
Dude, in your new neighborhood.
Just chopping shirtless around your new neighborhood.
Dude, you're the thirst trap king, bro.
You're a stealth trap.
Dude, put your onus away.
Complete your onus.
Okay. Why would you make that joke? That's just going to come back on you. It sounds a. Complete your onus. Okay.
Why would you make that joke?
That's just going to come back on you.
It sounds a little bit like anus.
Yeah.
Oh, do onus and anus sound similar, Dylan?
A little bit.
There's just one letter that's different.
Do I have a ticket segment for you guys?
We can talk about it off air.
The Baymooder Ghouls?
No, it is one of the highlight moments of the last two decades. It's a
guy messing up anus and onus.
Oh, okay. And it's become like a
thing. My hanger is really set up.
I feel good, but like...
I'm hungry. Are y'all going to pick up food?
I'm going straight home and just munching.
My problem is I don't want to
go home and have to prepare food because I'm so
hangry. I want it now. This has
me just preparing it on the counter
in front of me and eating it while I'm preparing
it written all over. I'm not even going to leave the pantry.
I'm not even going to cook my chicken. I'm just
going to eat it raw like a goddamn big cat.
Love it. Love it. I'm just going
to eat my Walmart expired
off the truck meat. Yeah, I love that.
Good idea. That they put on the pizzas.
Dude, that za looked good. The za looked
really good. You know that was good Zah.
Dude, it looked amazing when he brought that out.
The second they started showing that they were doing that,
I just said to Sal, I was like, this is an amazing idea.
I would love to eat pizza next to a bunch of tigers.
I feel like it's kind of mean to the tigers.
In addition to them being in the cage,
they're watching you enjoy the Zah,
and there's probably no chance that they get to enjoy it.
Yeah, but to play devil's
advocate here I don't a
lot of tigers don't know
how good pizza is.
They can smell it though.
You can't smell well.
Hey who put a good dog.
Yes they can smell.
Who put cologne.
I said smell well.
Oh I thought you said
smell will.
Like smell.
I know they have noses.
I'm not a question mark.
Who put cologne on Joe's
shoes.
Yeah who did put cologne
on Joe's shoes.
Come on.
He got snatched by the tiger.
Also, not a good look by Carol being like, I mean, if you're really going to try to kill somebody,
wouldn't you put a bunch of blah, blah, blah on them instead of perfume?
And I was like, as someone who is accused of killing your ex-husband, maybe don't tell people.
This is like OJ releasing the book, If I Did It.
It's like, Carol, hold still the taste.
They knew what they were doing putting that in there.
Did y'all think he shot the tiger when he was trying to escape?
Yes, and I was like, did they really just show that?
I wish they didn't show that, but then he was just scaring it.
Warning shot, yeah.
Yeah, the warning shot.
That's great restraint, because I can't say that if a tiger's got me by the boot, I don't know.
I'm talking pure panic at that point.
Honestly, I probably would just shot myself in the boot. I don't know. I'm talking pure panic at that point. Honestly,
I probably would just
shot myself in the dick.
Well,
that'd be a weird way
to do it,
but okay.
And they wanted to eat
some Joe Exotic,
didn't they?
It was weird
because he was not
that panicked about it.
He gave it a couple
of whacks with the cane.
By the way,
did you notice
that he insulted Jeff
by saying he walked
with a limp and then he's been walking insulted Jeff by saying he walked with a limp?
And then he's been walking around with a leg brace on and a limp the entire time.
This show is a show that keeps on giving.
There's just too much to talk about.
Do you guys have any parting words for the Lodge?
Or maybe for each other?
I'm going to miss the Lodge, man.
I might just drive by him now and then just wave and say what up or whatever.
I'm not going to be doing that.
I probably won't either.
I might take a country drive this weekend.
Sally and I might take a long drive.
Country wheel taking a country drive?
That was quite possibly the whitest thing you've said in just the way you delivered it.
Wait, you're going to drive to the-
A country ride.
To rural parts of Texas?
What are you talking about?
I think we might just leave-
Rural?
Just rural.
Rural.
Rural.
Rural.
I think we're just gonna Yeah just take a drive
Bring two beers
One each
Oh that's against the law
Two divided by
Two is one
You gonna drink and drive?
No
They're not enforcing that right now
So we're gonna go somewhere
We're gonna park
We're gonna get out of the car
Drink that beer
And then drive home
That is the weirdest idea
I've heard in a long time
A destination beer?
That's a weird idea
Alright have fun
Sitting around your fucking house
With your onus in your hand
Well it's a new house D your hand It's a new house Will
Yeah dude
When was that thing erected
We're all gonna come over
Once you get the ghouls out
Yeah when I have confirmation
That the homie's not playing
He's not summoning spirits
With ghouls
Maybe I'll come over
I told him he one bit madness.
He goes, don't care.
Wow.
See, that's why I won.
Shit like this.
All right, guys.
Wrap her up.
Guys, it's been fun.
I'll physically see you in a few months.
Goodbye, Lodge.
Don't say a few months, dude.
I'm going to say eight weeks.
Well, I'm taking vacation.
After this whole thing is done, I'm taking like two months vacation.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I got travel funds I got to get rid of.
Yikes.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, so I'll see you in a few months.
Are we going to be good by my bachelor party?
I have not booked yet, and I'm worried.
I'm worried.
Book on Southwest.
You can keep the funds.
I know.
I have a trip the weekend before that, too.
I'm supposed to go play Tori.
It's kind of the finish.
It's the one thing in my head that I'm like, that's the one thing that's going to...
I'm going to be pretty fucking bummed about.
Everything else I can take in stride.
If this thing breaks, let's say that everything's cool, and then two weeks later is your bachelor party,
we're going to be absolutely blitzed.
Oh, that would be sick.
It's going to be tight. It's going to be tight.
It's going to be the best.
People are going to be going wild.
Like letting the boys out of the cage, you know?
So many mouth kisses.
Oh, dude, I'm kissing all the homies.
Dude, I'm going to walk out.
No homie is sick.
If I smell cologne on any of your boots, I'm fucking dragging you down.
Oh, my God.
I'm only putting cologne in my shoes now.
Somebody put cologne on my shoes he probably did that trying
to make his fucking boots smell better he is the king of gas station i am joe exotic i've never
done his voice for us i was actually wondering if you've workshopped it hey uh hey y'all it's me
joe exotic does he wear eyeliner yes he does it blue. Which does the... Does it kind of bring out the color in his eyes, though?
His eyes pop.
Is he a beautiful man?
He thinks he is.
Is the lead detective...
I like how he got left because the guy went to another woman because he's allegedly not gay.
And then I like how Joe said that, hey, I can't combat that.
If it's another guy, I got that.
Dude, shouts to his new young husband, Dylan, by the way.
Dylan's just kind of snaggy.
He's very handsome.
Hey, how does this dude just pull him?
He really does.
He's the ass kicker of Oklahoma.
R.I.P.
A snack?
R.I.P.
Travis.
And also, my favorite, one of my favorite parts is like, oh, yeah, Travis wouldn't get it.
Travis is like banging every girl in town.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Not gay, just married to a man.
Married to me.
Beautiful balls.
I'm so excited to finish that tonight.
Yeah.
I'm going to finish.
All right.
It's really time to go now.
Okay.
Let's go eat some food.
Yes.
Bye.
Yeah, let's go eat some food. bye yeah let's go eat some food
that'll be the last thing
we ever say