Circling Back - Bit Madness, Round 1
Episode Date: March 20, 2024Yep, Bit Madness has returned. We take a ton of listener-compiled bits, put them in a giant bracket, and see what goes through. But before we got to that, we discussed Jon Rahm's Masters menu, the Kat...e Middleton video, and more. Enjoy a free one-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (10:40) Jon Rahm Menu Review (25:20) Stand Down: They Found Kate (30:30) Willy Wonka Guy’s Tummy (39:00) Bit Madness (1:15:30) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) Twillory: www.twillory.com (WASHED18 for $18 off purchase of $139 or more) Indochino: www.indochino.com (STEAM for 10% off purchase of $399 or more) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the washed hq in austin texas
my name is will defriesries my left david ruff
man i gotta find a new source for news i'm uh is texas blocking your news yeah thanks a lot greg
looking here you guys ever just peruse the daily star i think that's only you just to see like what
the topics of the day are, the topics du jour.
This one's interesting. It's talking about a Facebook and Instagram worldwide outage,
which we remember that.
Then next to it, here's another one.
It says, man stuck coconut up his bum, an extreme sex act.
What happened next is even worse.
A coconut?
Dylan, what happened next is even worse a coconut dylan what happened next is even worse i i
go on there's an x-ray you're not you're not man enough to click that what happens next you're not
man enough to click it well let me find out here a man had to rush to the hospital after a coconut
stuffed up his bun for sexual stimulation became lodged leaving him with severe pain and
his bun for sexual stimulation became lodged leaving him with severe pain and unable to go to the toilet yeah all been there it'll stuff you up what happened next is even worse oh my god i
don't know how to follow it's a good headline it is they've got some of the best man what happened
next you couldn't go to the bathroom i got one for will right here just i don't know if you want to pick one of the three no no you need to stop going to the daily this is not a good source who goes to
the daily star i don't know i just try to like expand my horizons i'm not reading newsmax or
watching newsmax every morning like you newsmax what do they do is it fucking playing dumb huh
is it real news or is it fake news?
Depends what your world is.
Dylan Sherry.
It's how I read.
I don't have anything to follow up with Coconut of some dude's backside,
but I am happy to be here.
Newsletter Week rolls on, by the way.
Yeah, yeah.
If you're subscribed, you know what I'm talking about.
Yeah.
You got something to say, Will?
Something back? No, I mean, mean you said newsletter week was back and i i fucking took
that as bulletin board material and i i went to the keys you dusted off the old keyboard and went
to went to work i took it to the mattresses dog damn fool yeah people loved it yeah um Yeah. Washed.substack.com.
Hey, and we ain't done yet.
How about that?
People got a mid-afternoon drop yesterday.
They got an early morning drop today.
It's crazy out here.
The streets are talking.
I wouldn't call your column mid.
Stop, dude.
Stop.
No, it was kind of fun yesterday.
Kind of like spending time with an old friend.
I haven't been inside her brain for a minute it was nice to get back in there better be inside start tinkering around raining what do you what's your problem dude i don't know you got to hornify
i spent if you if you keep hornifying things i'm gonna make you talk about your nosebleed
yesterday sorry man porn hub's gone so it's like i don't know what to do i'm very disturbed with
how much you've hornified don't act like you go to porn hub dude you've never been there before
i had an innocent nosebleed on a walk yesterday with my dog all right it's not anything more than
than that okay there are people talking if anyone was walking uh around dylan yesterday and they
saw him get a nosebleed and you have pics of it please send them to us if you saw my shirt covered
in blood it was just from my nose i promise i wasn't up to anything do you think it was seasonal allergies that's what i think they
were significant yesterday that's what i think yeah what seasonings are you allergic to cumin
paprika paprika what would be the worst one to be allergic to seasoning yeah salt or pepper
probably salt david use on a lot of things i don't know i'm asking the question i think you could argue that garlic i love garlic
yeah those would all be chef tony's those would all stink chef tony's would stink
tony chachere's it's a multitude that's what you're talking about i love that shit i put on my eggs
yeah yeah i don't even know what you guys are fucking talking
about right now you know tony chad trees nah bro it's like it's the old bay of the south oh okay
okay yeah okay i think old bay old bay of the south okay a little creole seasoning for the eggs
there you go all right I can freak with that.
There you go.
I never know what to do for eggs sometimes, man,
because if you're just in a hurry and you just make some eggs real quick,
you can salt and pepper those, but sometimes I just wonder,
what more could I be doing?
Do you know what I learned recently?
Chives.
You can mine the gap.
I do have an herb garden, though.
I saw someone who was making scrambled eggs put water in the eggs
instead of milk, and that's how
you get them fluffy and this person learned it from a like a chef see i just i just do it low
and slow baby keep stirring okay he called me david stern water instead of milk dave i don't
do milk you don't just straight i used to that's how i was taught but i realized it didn't really make a difference noticeable how about that um are you are you a real milker no i am a milker certified i'm a
certified milker dude i love i'll drink a pint glass of it right now i don't care if i had some
i'd put it in front of you i've got milk in my now gene right in front of me i stopped drinking
almond milk yeah i don't drink nut milks anymore i I'm retired. I'm out on the nut.
Stop, dude.
You got to go back to dairy, dude.
I drink both.
Ah.
No more nut milk.
We're just dairy boys.
Support your local farmers, dude.
I just told you I do drink cow milk.
Dairy. You're not in it from the source like Tom Green?
Tom Green?
Tom Green.
You familiar with his work?
No.
A little bit, yeah.
He turned his dad's car into the Slutmobile.
I know.
I watched that.
Yeah.
His dad had to go to work.
Not cool.
So he had to walk to the bus stop.
Slutmobile.
And then Tom drove the Slutmobile to get his dad.
What a shithead.
Also starred in the TFM movie. People forget that. I need to know. Slut mobile to get his dad. What a shithead.
Also starred in the TFM movie.
People forget that.
I need to know.
It's a big get. I need to know who Tom Green is in Austin if Tom Green Way in Austin is not named after the Canadian Tom Green.
I really hope it's just named after the comedian.
But I just need to know why that why that road is called tom greenway
it's it's the tom green i think yeah who's tom green dave is there a texan texas version
he was a confederate soldier and lawyer okay so it's not gonna be tom greenway for that long
if i know anything about austin roads like when robert e lee boulevard changed names overnight
with no fanfare at all like no announcement it just switched they didn't even have a trumpeteer az morton is now
yeah and as someone who had to take drunk ubers back from sixth street like every night and i
would just tell them oh just turn on robert e lee that night was like what really threw me off where
am i one day i was so confused really close yeah they didn't make any announcement about that they
they slow faded
robert e lee they changed they changed the signs at like 3 a.m one day oh yeah for sure
yeah one day it was totally it one day it was robert e lee the next day it was az morton
um that's how it'd be sometimes dave yeah i'm looking up uh the uh life and times of one thomas green any good fun facts about him well was he racist i don't know
could be a different tom green it's not i don't know if it is it's not yeah i don't know if it is
it would be cooler if it was the slut mobile tom green yeah i would i would support that more than
the confederate uh lawyer tom green that's okay, we got a big episode today, boys.
Bit madness is upon us.
We finally get to go through the bracket today
for the first time. Have you guys looked at the bracket yet?
No, I'm going in cold. Okay, I'm going
in cold too. We're going to do that at the tail end of this episode,
so tune in for that. But before
we do, exactly five minutes dropped
beyond the paywall yesterday. It was lit.
We got a little emotional talking about just
comparison and stuff. We also just got wild with it, talking about vacations and shit. Go check it out.
Patreon.com slash circling back podcast tomorrow. Listener voicemails drop first thing in the
morning. If you want to leave one 888-618-4422, Dave will scan your calls. Maybe we can call you
back. Who knows? I have a question. Yeah. Yesterday's show did the um gardener snake dave shirt come up
did yeah i did we talked about how it's very limited edition mainly because we didn't sell
very many of them yeah we found a couple people on the subreddit though who own one yeah crowd
owners more than a couple at least four yep yeah a double couple yep if you show up to the uh any
meetup wearing a gardener snake dave shirt i will assure you that you won't
buy a drink that entire night i'll buy you light beers on the wash tab all night that yeah absolutely
real snakers only but don't expect to be let into a bottle of blonde next door for the after party
yeah no guarantees for the after party yeah bring a button down in your in your satchel so you can
change and you can hang out with just me.
Just Dave.
Just Dave in the company cart.
Yep.
Go check out wash.substack.com.
It's newsletter week.
YouTube.com slash circling back.
We're doing premieres every Monday and Wednesday,
so you can hop in the chat.
It's at 2.30 central time that these drop,
but you can watch these episodes anytime you want.
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Dylan decided to use the entirety of our credit
on one single jacket.
Not the entire.
No, I got some good shorts that are in the running
to make an appearance at the Masters.
Oh.
There's some dark green golf shorts.
I'll bust my coat out soon for y'all.
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We decided to punt yesterday when we got the ROM Masters menu in front of us.
Because of you, Dave.
You're welcome.
You're welcome, dude.
We knew you'd want to talk about this.
You're welcome.
Thanks, Dad. Also, we couldn't pronounce anything on dude. We knew you'd want to talk about this. You're welcome.
Thanks, Dad.
Also, we couldn't pronounce anything on the menu,
so we wanted to save that for you.
It'd be like that.
Okay.
It'd be like that.
I'll do my best.
How familiar are you guys with Spanish cuisine?
Not nearly as familiar as I thought I was before I read this menu.
It goes like this for me.
Paella, and that's pretty much it.
Same.
Yeah.
Same.
Since I'll be in town for this, do you think I could slide through on the Lolo?
I don't think.
I think it's pretty strict security at the door.
What if I wear the green master's jacket that my family has created?
Do you think they would let me slide through?
Who could you pass for that's sitting at that dinner?
I'm lefty, so I could do Mike Weir.
No one really knows what he looks like anyway, so I could shave the beard and just pray.
Did y'all know that Jon Rahm pays for this, the entire spread?
Yeah, I didn't know that.
That was an interesting, fun fact yesterday from whatever that golfer's name is.
I think I learned that during the Spieth barbecue.
That's a hefty bill.
That's why Bubba went chicken and like asparagus for everything.
Because he's cheap as fuck.
He had the worst, worst meals.
I mean, I have nothing bad to say about Jon Rahm's dinner,
but that's mainly because I don't know what some of these things even are.
I don't either.
I mean, he's hitting them with the Harmoni Medical.
Even the, there's like the the
english translation under some of these that explain what i still i still don't really know
what some of this stuff is yeah yeah the main course though i normally would trend ribeye
whatever if you're gonna put turbot on the menu then you've got my attention i i obviously know
what turbot is but for those at home who don't how about you
go ahead and explain it it's a a fish typically found in like the northeastern waters of the
atlantic known for being a brackish fish wow so essentially brackish dude this dude's different
i know i know what brackish means obviously but some people may not is your middle name
merriam-webster well this guy's. A part of the water that is kind of combines.
How do I put this?
For me.
Don't look at your screen while you're saying it.
It's the juxtaposition between the salt water from the ocean
and the freshwater source from a river or stream,
combining to create a taste that you can find in the turbot fish
and what they dub brackish water.
Is this like a flaky fish?
What's the consistency of the meat?
I think it's pretty trustworthy.
Okay.
We created a cocktail called the brackish.
I'm not writing.
Nope, no cool joke gong for that, Dylan.
Sorry.
We have a cool joke gong?
I just realized he has a bit madness champion.
Oh, yeah.
He's ready for it, dude.
He's ready for it, dude.
He's ready for it, dude.
He's ready for it, dude.
He's ready for it, dude.
He's ready for it, dude.
He's ready for it, dude.
God dang it.
Will he get reelected?
We made a cocktail called the brackish, which is essentially just an extremely dirty martini
on the rocks because it looks just a little tough to look through.
Just a little brackish. Yeah, exactly. And we were trying to think of a name for it, tough to look through just a little brackish yeah
exactly and my we were trying to think of a name for it my buddy just goes a brackish i was like
that's a great fucking word for this cocktail my man it's salty water in here it's a juxtaply
yeah i mean here's the thing i'm gonna ask if i'm sitting next to dj at the dinner i'm like hey can
you go ribeye and i'll go turbot and we can just go splitsies right now?
DJ's not splitting, though.
No.
DJ wants that full ribeye for himself.
I'm pretty happy with a crab salad first course.
That's kind of a flex.
I'd be tempted by this turbot for sure.
It's al piu piu, dude.
I'm going ribeye.
I'm a red meat guy.
No, you're not.
I want to try someone's turbot like you said.
I'm going to fill up on Mama Ram's classic lentil stew beforehand.
Lentejas estofadas.
Is she in there actually cooking?
Like, is she in the back kitchen just making lentil stew the entire time?
I wouldn't be surprised if she is.
That'd be sick.
Some of the stuff, I don't even, I just don't know.
It's because you're not a real eater, dude.
You're not an eater real. I'm not a, I'm not a real eater dude you're not an eater real i'm not a i'm not an international
eater i feel like is spanish food underrepresented in america they need to be more spanish restaurants
floating around where can we go for spanish food around i don't know dude because we're
we're a mexican food city facts there was uh there was that tapas place down the street that well because it was at the
bottom of apartment building it closed down now but it was good it was called like uh
it wasn't palazzo did you say palazzo the strip club that's not what i was thinking of david
i'm sorry no that's not a tapas place, Dave. That's a tapas place.
This place was walkable from here.
It closed.
Anywho.
Dude, hit that gong.
Don't hit the gong.
What was it?
The cool joke gong?
You lost it.
You guys lost privilege just in a cool joke.
Who do you want to sit next to the most if you're at the Masters dinner?
Who do you want to be like shoulder to shoulder with?
Gong, but not forgotten.
Z? David, say it probably speith mike weir no i don't know if i want to sit next to mike weir i don't think speed is gonna be that much fun at the dinner no he's not but i want
to observe him okay you're staring at it i want to see what if you're across from him can you be
across from him and not next to shoulder to shoulder with him? Yeah, okay. Yeah, he's more – because I just want to see how he goes about eating his ribeye.
I'm sitting next to Gentle Ben.
We're just going to be super gentle with each other the whole time.
Aw.
Yeah.
Can I say something about how Spieth eats a ribeye?
He puts off the vibes of someone who cuts it up before he takes a single bite.
Oh, you're kind of right about this.
That's mean.
You're kind of right, dude.
You're kind of right about this that's mean you're kind of right dude you're kind of right like so i think there's something there i'm gonna sit between on hell
cabrera i don't know if you want to do that ask him for some smokes oh yeah is he in trouble
yeah i don't know if he's invited back yeah he's out of no he's what'd he do again
yeah i think it was a domestic violence situation i'm'm not going to sit next to Angel anymore.
I'm going to remove Angel from the equation.
He's not invited.
Yeah, he's not invited anymore.
The last Sig Ripper on the PGA Tour.
But I think Dustin's probably got some smokes on him,
and I know he's going to be crushing cocktails the entire time,
so I'm going to sit next to Dustin and Adam Scott.
I'm going to be like, Adam, what do I need to do to be hot?
Can you teach me how to surf?
Let me pick up your accent.
Wow, you got a lot of questions for him.
How do we get Dylan stuck?
I'm going to be glazing Adam the entire dinner.
Everybody's going to glaze Adam.
He's the most glazable.
He is the most glazable.
He's a good looking man.
How do we get Dylan stuck at the end with Danny Willett and Patrick Reed?
Yeah, I want you surrounded by Bernard Longer.
No, Bernard, don't do Bernard Longer. No, Bernard.
Don't do Bernard like that.
Come on.
I think this is his last Masters that he's going to compete in.
Yeah, I'm going to put you next to Charles Schwartzel.
Okay, good.
All right.
Schwartzel and Danny Willett and Dylan at the end.
Come on, man.
Just mixing it up.
Don't put me down there.
And like afterward, we're like, so how was it down there?
You know, actually not that bad.
Dude, actually.
Who's the middle among all these people tiger he doesn't have a big personality no i know but
everyone wants to be around tiger that's true you got it he's either at the head of the table he's
not like he's not in the gray area he's either at the head of the table or right in the middle
yeah i don't know nick faldo i can see faldo wanting to be a middle and just talking. Sir Nick. Talking, talking, talking.
I want to get knighted.
Yeah, it's got to be pretty sick. I want to get knighted so bad, dude.
Knight a player up.
What is this word, Basque, that appears in half of these items?
I think it's the area that he's from.
The Basque region.
Isn't there a Basque region there?
In España?
Yeah, dude. Obviously. It's? In España? Yeah, dude.
Obviously.
It's an autonomous community in Spain, dude.
Literally everyone knows that.
Okay.
Yeah, I should have known.
Yeah, Basque country in the Western Pyrenees
straddling the border between France and Spain
on the coast of the Bay of Biscay.
Yeah, it's Basque country, dude.
I have a wild card for the middle.
Marco Mera. I can see him i could see him
grease in the room real well i feel like marco real well some riz riz for the boys okay i've
touched his golf bag before dude that's huge yeah how'd you do it show us like right now on the show
he i actually can i can i say something wild boy you stuck your hand in it i took a wedge out of
it i took a wedge out of it i took a wedge out
of it you put it back i put it back yeah he was storing his clubs at a uh cart barn that i was
not supposed to be in but my boys were working so i just slid through and i was like is that really
his bag and they're like yeah he's played twice here this year so i was like i gotta i gotta take
something out of this he probably has a bunch of bags if he's keeping one there oh yeah but it's
still his bag sure it's kind of like it's keeping one there, you'd think. But it's still his bag. Sure.
It's kind of like how you thought of that idea the other day.
And even though someone had already thought about it and done it,
you still thought of that without knowing that it existed.
Always your idea.
It's just one of many ideas.
I don't know.
Just like Randy's script?
Yeah, Randy's been writing a script.
We're not going to talk about it.
I say watch media scripts.
Yeah, it's our script. Intellect We're not going to talk about it. I say watch media scripts. Yeah, it's our script.
Intellectually speaking.
We'll take over here.
Should we just have AI write conference crashers,
and then we just make the edits and make it funnier?
Yeah.
This ties in a little bit with the crashers thing and the golf thing.
What are we going to do about this Owen Wilson Apple TV golf thing thing i don't know what you're talking about and
i don't know if i want to know there's an owen wilson golf thing dropping okay and i think it
might be good why why owen wilson wow i don't know what's his handicap it's wilson he'll play
price cahill whose golf career ended prematurely 20 years ago after he gets fired from his job as
a sporting goods oh so it's like a show
it's not like a documentary okay oh no oh yeah i explained that poorly yo okay i thought it's
like a documentary with owen wilson leading the charge here and i was like i don't know if we
need that no this sounds great i i do remember seeing this now he gets fired from his job at
a sporting goods store in indiana randy and his wife leaves him he seeks a he sees a troubled 17 year old golfing on
as his way back see so it's ted lasso but owen wilson his name's price or no wilson yeah price
cahill is such a good name for a pro golfer really is i i really want to see uh mighty
ducks 4 get made where they're all just like out of shape playing in a beer league together some are just going through it got new kids at home ready here's here's the here's the best line
in the remake ready it comes our script perfect i woke up the pain wasn't gone
that's good dude get it because they're old yeah bgp they're freaking old god this script is going
to be heat, dude.
Can you imagine how fun it would be?
Think of Brett's Beer League, where they all do their draft and stuff,
and they all get hammered at a bar together.
Wouldn't you watch that?
Just an NC-17 version?
Some fucking.
We got Gordon Bombay just being the old.
He's like the new Hans, sharpening skates and shit.
Mike and Lisa are the stars of our movie, by the way.
We need to edit the names. We can change the names. Yeah, we got to edit the names. They need to be more current shit. Mike and Lisa are the stars of our movie, by the way. We need to edit the names.
We can change the names.
Yeah, we got to edit the names.
They need to be more current names.
Mike and Lisa.
Those are good placeholders.
Yeah.
There's a Ted, too, by the way.
That's good.
I think we can keep Ted.
We can keep Ted.
Ted's a great name for a guy that works in an office.
Yeah.
Yep.
Did you get that report from Ted?
Where's Ted?
I can see Ted now.
Ted's a little overweight.
Tube socks.
The first scene starts in a hotel lobby during the day.
Yeah, it has to.
Yeah.
Nice.
I like that you're grinding over here.
Yeah, dude.
I just wrote the whole script.
That's fucking great.
Randy, I already beat you to the script.
Randy, whatever you've written, throw it out.
Yeah, it's done.
It's trash.
Breaking news.
Apparently, there's a Spanish food restaurant literally within walking distance right by
us called El Revol.
So should we take this menu to them and ask them to shape things up?
El Revol?
Yeah.
I think it's where Barletta used to be.
Apparently, that's not there anymore.
Barletta was the name of the restaurant I was trying to think of.
Yeah.
Apparently, it's not there anymore.
It's now El Revol.
It's right next to the Pretty Kitty.
Restaurantception.
Yeah.
It's over there by the new Italian joint, too.
It's Italian cucina?
It's Italian.
There's one opening next door, too, you know.
Sportiva.
More cash.
What did you guys think about the first episode of Keeping Up With Sports?
Dude, they hit on all the sports.
It was really good.
I think they're going to have a hard time keeping up.
Why? Because there's a lot of sports to watch. There's so many sports. Well, we're going to keep up with them. on all the sports. It was really good. I think they're going to have a hard time keeping up. Why?
Because there's a lot of sports to watch.
There's so many sports.
Well, we're going to keep up with them.
That's the thing.
Can they keep up?
I'm going to start listening to Keeping Up With Sports.
Like Caitlyn Jenner and Lamar Odom.
I told Dylan that-
The duo we've been waiting for forever.
Keeping Up With Sports sounds like a segment name for Too Much Dip.
That's like a bit segment.
Yeah.
I mean, it probably was.
Yeah.
Do you guys already
have a theme song
that's like,
keeping up with sports?
It's a do you know it
of sports.
Yeah.
It's just great.
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All right, we talked about it quickly yesterday,
but we got to just circle back on it today.
Did it?
Did it?
Yeah, the Kate video. Daveave what are your takes do you think
this is kate it doesn't look anything like she did in the car so one of they're faking someone here
what do you think dave dylan put it at 81 her yesterday um i don't think it's her only because
i did not see the eight children and i did not see john so i don't know if it is kate
okay this is actually a different kate we're talking about are you talking kate middleton
the one who's at the center probably got eight children at this point the one who's
i actually uh disagree do not it's her talk down about the king like this you're talking
reckless on me, boy.
Dude, after I saw that she was 5'9",
and I rewatched the video,
I'm like almost positive it's her now.
How tall is William?
6'3".
Oh.
Tall lad.
You should play in the NBA.
Whoa.
My points against being her was her posture posture was was very unlike wasn't queenly
no she's going through she's going through recovery dude but she was carrying a bag
like she was looks spry she's bouncing around that's my question what in the world is in that
bag what she got in that bag they said that they're gonna do a grand reveal of her on like easter
like it seems weird she's gonna bust out of an egg yeah there's jesus there's rumors that she's
gonna return on easter which is just kind of bizarre like why already did that like yeah
famously why are you clout chasing kate she's resistant like i i don't know like maybe just
maybe just do the video we've been talking about that's
like hey it's me i'm fine here i'm alive um what if we had randy disappear for a little bit and we
didn't know where randy was oh no what would we do we could play into the uh we could play into
the rainy ripper thing we could have micah come fill in for him probably start doing numbers
numbers numbers yeah and then we kind of see where everything falls like if micah if things We could have Micah come fill in for him. Probably start doing numbers, numbers, numbers.
Yeah.
And then we kind of see where everything falls.
If things are going really well with Micah,
maybe we just stick with Micah.
Okay.
But we could at least have a big celebratory thing
when Randy comes back.
What do we celebrate, though?
Wow, thanks.
Are you ready to disappear?
How about after Bit Madness?
You don't think we can handle running
it on our own mess up bit madness and i'm not fair randy we could bring you back as a contractor
thanks thanks david sure so wait hold on is this going to be like paid disappearance leave or it
could it would be an internship that would turn into paid if you do a really really good job and
or gerb and work long
hours i don't know if you're capable of disappearing like randy when he we know that when he has time
on his hands he just creates content that's true you're not gonna be able to do it you couldn't
stream no dnd sessions with the boys we see what happens when there's a blizzard can't dive into
hell on on twitch that's you can go you You're going to have to change your username.
You need a burner username for your gaming PC.
What would it be?
User 5896-324-8961789.
Hell yeah.
I'll just send out random emails being like,
you won $100 to Kohl's or something like that.
It's not really them.
But it would really be you as your burner.
It'd be a phishing scam?
Yes.
All right.
So I have this idea for a phishing movie.
Okay.
Should I write the script right now?
Dude, hold on.
Don't rush it.
I don't understand why they haven't made
the Will Ferrell pro bass phishing movie.
It's a free idea.'d be gas will if you're
listening just do it danny mcbride you'd have a flounder cam he's the number one pick for the
rival in it i do think randy had the idea that john c reilly would uh commissioner he'd be the
commissioner of the pro bass fishing community can Can you imagine the noodling scene?
Like, I don't even know what's happening in the noodling scene,
but the second you see Will Ferrell with a fish on his arm,
like, you're going to start laughing.
That's weird to me.
I don't know if that's part of a bass fishing tournament.
No, but there's going to be a noodling scene, dude.
Like, he goes back to his roots in Oklahoma?
Mm-hmm.
It has to be like a whole, kind of like NASCAR
where you go to multiple different things.
It's just multiple different fishing
and different types of fish.
Exactly.
So one of them is like a catfish.
Yeah, we got Florida flats fishing.
We've got like, yeah, Louisiana stuff.
We got to go everywhere.
It's a pentathlon, right?
Mano y mano.
Maybe doing some turbot fishing
in the brackish waters of the Northeast Atlantic.
It's good.
Exactly.
It's good.
They could go to the Basque region. Imagine if you got some river monsters guy on there too
as a cameo those were good memes those are great
what's the wonka update
we done with kate i don't know i mean okay we need more news on kate
i'm okay with getting more news on it i don't know i mean okay we need more news on kate i'm okay with getting
more news on it i don't want the saga to be over yet it's not it's very much not dude they're
they're really botching this at a level that we can't comprehend i just saw that the the organizer
behind the glasgow willie wonka experience um you know went viral famously a few weeks back
said his life has been ruined by the event quote i
was devastated and i was sick to the pit of my tummy i was sick to the pit of my tummy
hey dude maybe just uh don't hold the event and refund everybody my guy
right yeah a lot of people will respond to this noting like, if it was really that bad and your life was ruined,
would you really go with tummy in the quote?
It's true.
It's true.
Did anyone say this in the Grand X office after day rage?
My tummy.
What, their life has been ruined?
You had to call in with a tummy ache?
What an absolute disaster that party was.
Was the unknown there? No't know but a camel what is
this what one thing what one single thing could have changed day rage and made it into a huge
success people showing up yeah and attendance over 50 there's nothing about the party that
could have changed so i was lucky i actually had a wedding
to go to that night so i i was only there for like the first two hours of the event
so i missed like the the bulk of the embarrassment
i was yeah i got to skip out on a lot of it thankfully was it a fake wedding that you came
up with so you didn't have to uh i was excited for day rage i don't think you were i even we even kept saying like people will show up later like it'll happen they'll fill in
nice day for a fake wedding a lot of people bought tickets and didn't show up
or maybe they walked up to the gates and they fucked this place and they just left
how much were tickets i don't remember not expensive probably 20 25 bucks something
was it biob or did y'all have like a bartenders there? Yeah,
it wasn't definitely not BYOB.
We,
we served alcohol.
It wasn't B ob.
It's B ob.
B ob.
Okay.
Sure.
I've never thrown a party that went horribly.
Oh,
bragging.
Wow.
Look at you.
Oh,
this guy's different.
Look at this guy.
He's got so many friends.
I was like my biggest fear i think i
have low expectations for like parties that i throw though sure so like any any full kitchen
is a success in my eyes if you can get that kitchen full you're fine kitchen's where it
goes down yeah dude like if you see people start playing quarters or something like you know the
party's buzzing yeah or if you see like a little crowd amassing like in the bathroom you know something's
going up like what dylan looks like lebron james dylan on the trail
bloody shirt it's a bloody t-shirt oh it's a bloody t-shirt oh he's with his dog
hey good pup she's a good pup did you get any blood on her it's
gotta be hard to get out of that white coat good point i didn't get any blood on her it's good
it's good that'd look hard as fuck nasty man yeah dude i haven't had a nosebleed in a minute
i don't know if i've ever had like a serious serious nosebleed this is the most serious
one i've ever had in my life well luckily you luckily you had a 10,000 shirt to sop it all up.
Hopefully it's not ruined.
Is this for real?
Yeah.
What?
That he used his 10,000 shirt?
I thought that we were about to jump into a 10,000.
No, dude.
If they want to come back on board.
They haven't been with us for months.
Honestly, I love their shit, dude.
If they want to come back on board.
Very high quality.
They came on board at a great time for me when I was actually in shape.
And like all their stuff fit me because it was like kind of an athletic fit and so i was feeling real fresh in it yeah i don't know if it's gonna hit the same now that i haven't uh
peloton in a while you brought my bloody one dude i re i re-enrolled it in the peloton membership
i went to go sign in on my bike and my bike just the software on it just won't work won't update
won't do anything so i
just had to immediately turn around and cancel it what yeah so i just gotta get rid of this thing
that's bullshit i'm definitely not gonna get rid of it in an efficient manner it's definitely
gonna sit in my upstairs for the next four years why don't you just tape an ipad to it
you could just tape an ipad to it can you can you use it without the computer part being on
yeah but that would suck. Yeah.
That would suck.
Like, I want it to keep
my stats and stuff.
You just want to see Cody.
Dude, Cody's a dog.
Are they still,
they're still doing
all the shit?
Yeah, I don't think
it's going well.
I don't think it is either.
I don't think it's going well.
There's a store at the mall.
There's never anyone in it.
No, if you got a store
at the mall,
it's going bad.
You're desperate.
The mall's coming back.
No, it's not. Yeah, it is. The mall's coming back. No, it's not.
Yeah, it is.
It actually is, unfortunately.
Kids are liking going to the mall.
Dude, kids are cool, man.
They got digital cameras and shit going to the mall.
If malls come back, that's legit.
I'm down for that.
For the kids, though.
Right.
We don't need a bloody nose guy walking around the mall
making a weird...
Smoking cigs in the...
Remember mall walkers? Yeahers yeah what there's people that
walked around malls old ladies attracted exercise in malls they was walking around
dude i get it very cute it's a controlled environment like i get it ac yeah that's
how i met my first girlfriend ball walking mall walking she was mall walking then you have a way
too old for me they should make a hell divers but it's mall walk you got a teen couple holding hands and then uh mall walkers just shopping where was the place that you'd go
with like your like teenage girlfriend to like be alone in the mall no just anywhere oh i feel
like everyone had like a spot yeah i don't want to divulge. People would park. Yeah, there are some places to park your car.
Rose at the Moon Tower?
No.
Oh.
That is a real thing, though, now.
The Moon Tower?
Yeah, isn't there a Moon Tower?
Yeah.
There's some historical significance to it as well.
Not just because it was in Dazed and Confused, but it meant something.
They've got the uh austin baseball team
the moon towers that's cool they do you'd actually like their fucking team i don't know if he was on
that team but i know they played them but um we do know a couple people on the team but uh they've
got some cool merch i think you'd i think you'd be into it dylan i'm going right now austin moon
towers they're just like a um they're just
what would you call it like they're just club baseball like they just do like sunday games
against other club teams austin moon towers baseball club you do have some good stuff come
on dylan go get on that dude you could be an absolute weapon in one of these leagues
they do have some cool shit i know dude i like the navy blue hat with the little star on it
fuck yeah i know dude all right i know all right you should get on one of these teams
you could be a weapon out there oh yeah these guys are old like me yeah dude i love it they're
all dads and shit that's fucking cool yeah well it was just the first store you would go to when
you walked into the mall as a teen not like now uh it was um it's either like a brookstone or oshman's
oh super sports oshman's was like the austin um yeah super sports store they had a low they had
a little basketball area with a low hoop and we go in there and just yam on people yeah it was
pretty sick then you go check out the baseball gloves and shit and the bats
we park in the parking garage this is i only went with my family because we wouldn't have them all
park in the parking garage immediately go have an early lunch at california pizza kitchen
immediately polish off a barbecue chicken pizza and then my parents knew that if they didn't
immediately go to the video game store that they just hear me complaining about wanting to go to the video game store the
entire time so we just went straight there then we hit the gap we got a heady bauer tilt was the
name of uh the tilt the arcade it's a great arcade north cross mall tilt i spend a lot of
time in town at nba jam dorn jams moral combat you know the classics time cop
revolution that aerosmith shoot them up game revolution x oh that's what it's called don't
give up yeah whenever yeah okay you shoot cds yeah those fuck people up fucking weird that's kind of swag yeah should we do bit madness i guess yo low-key should we do
bit madness i'm kind of excited i have no clue what to even expect here randy are you ready for
this i don't know randy's fucking ready you're gonna handle this randy sorry i was looking up
we were talking about going to a moon tower baseball game recently just trying to find out
where do they play at a baseball diamond in austin there are several which one you have to
look at google maps okay it's east northeast i think i don't know yeah i'm not going up they
don't play the dell diamond i think you should get one of the hat the navy hat dude they're gas i
know i know bit madness for anyone new to the program bit madness is a listener driven competition
game i don't know what you'd call it where uh they
establish all the bits that we've developed uh whether it's on purpose or accidental over the
last year or so we put them in a bracket style thing that is also determined by the listeners
and now we are going to go through the bracket today is round one today it's going to take up
a larger amount of the episode than normal whereas the other ones go a little quicker because we have less decisions to make.
So I think we got to get after it today because these things tend to run long.
Shall we just dive right in?
Randy, let's go, man.
Okay.
Our number one.
Do you want to announce him, Randy?
Do you want to be our host for the reading the things?
Sure.
Why not?
Your first matchup is number one out Blankway and 16 Will being all in on Celsius.
It's easy.
Good job.
We'll head to Celsius yesterday before we even recorded.
That's why there was none. I know. Dylan went to get one. It's easy. Good job. We'll have two Celsius yesterday before we even recorded. Different.
That's why there was none. I know.
Dylan went to get one. It was so depressing.
You should make her a pre-workout. I was so disappointed.
Dylan's like 3.30.
I want to be clear. When I had two Celsius, there were four left in the fridge.
So I didn't take the second to last one
or the last one. I took the last one. One of them went missing
then. Brett had it.
He loved Wildberry. He loved Wildberry.
He loved Wildberry.
He probably took one
from the other side of town.
Did you have three?
No, I didn't.
Maybe I had three, dude.
Nah.
As much as I love Celsius,
out blank way
makes me laugh every...
It makes me at least chuckle
every time a listener
leaves a voicemail
and says,
I'm out Oklahoma way.
It's moving on.
Yeah.
For sure.
One's moving on.
Easy.
Agree.
What, Randy? You got to be quick with it, dude. It just takes on. Yeah, for sure. One's moving on. Easy. Agree. What, Randy? You gotta be quick with it, dude. Just takes two votes, Randy.
Sorry, I was going to go take a sip of water.
So, alright, let's go to our next matchup.
Water, guys, my mouth.
We got, oh no, are you hosting
or am I hosting? You go ahead. Alright, we got
number nine, Foggs, frat on
good, sir, versus number eight, Randy hitting the
Juby slide. Wait, so it's Foggs.
Foggs. Can I just know if Goggs is on this? Is Goggs on good sir versus number eight randy hitting the juby slide wait so it's fogs fogs can i can i
just know if gogs is on this is gogs on this i don't think so i think gogs was a very late bit
that did not make because like i feel like way too late can we change it to gogs you do fogs
slash gogs you just make it i don't think so because people yeah because then people selected
fogs and not gogs for their own personal. We had 397 bracket entries.
Okay.
If this was Goggs, I would have it going on.
Yeah.
But since it's Foggs, I have to go with Randy hitting the Juby slide,
mainly because Randy worked his ass off for that.
It's true.
I'll give it to Randy because he randomly did one
when he was out with his friends the other night, I think.
Yes, it was at the Barbie speakeasy behind Kung Fu.
There was like no crowd whatsoever.
It's a pretty small place, yeah.
Did anyone throw you any dollars?
All right, it goes through.
Juby Slide.
Congrats, Randy.
It's Juby Slide to the next round.
That's not good.
Next, we have number five.
The Merchant of Death versus number 12, Human Decanting.
Human Decanting's back?
Human Decanting's...
Like I said, some blue birds.
I love a 12-5 upset, but I don't see it happening here.
Bro, don't even...
No, don't trip, man.
Merchant of Death.
It's got to be Merchant of Death, dude.
Oh, man.
I was worried, dude.
We swapped him for a WNBA player.
He loves Brittany Griner.
He just loves Brittany Griner.
We got fleeced in that deal.
I'll say it.
Isn't she different in the paint per him?
She's a problem, bro.
Her plus minus crazy.
Number 13, generational glazing versus number four, my son and partner.
Ooh.
I still love saying glazing.
That's a strong 13th seed.
Yeah.
The term glazing is a perfect way just to tell someone that they're maybe just laying it on a little thick.
Why are you glazing this guy right now?
I'm going generational glazing.
I am too.
Ooh.
I am too.
It's going.
What day?
It moves on.
My son and my partner, it's just not relevant enough right now.
I did rewatch that movie last year.
It's all time.
I rewatched it like a month ago, actually.
Better than the first time.
Yeah, I liked it more the second time that i watched it there
will be blood uh-huh there will be bro daniel day acts his dick off bro
maroon five underrated man not bad at all you're still doing the merchant of death
has he ever dm'd you yeah he wanted to see the booty i'm sorry didn't know
he wanted to see an ass might need to see the booty though the guy who's seen every ass on
the planet wants to see more ass what a fucking scumbag shout out to him you don't even need to
ask for it just dm another girl and you'll get an ass pic eventually or just go to never mind
just crazy horny just diabolical horniness.
Wow.
Number three.
I wonder what's going to win here.
Number three, El Glizadente 2024 versus number 14, Will's Five Star.
Review of the Week.
This is tough.
Because Will's Five Star Review of the Week came in pretty strongly.
Yeah.
A surprising three seed, El Gliz.
Yeah.
Honestly, it should maybe be higher. Will's Five Star Review of the Week hasn't even strongly yeah a surprising three seed el gliz yeah i honestly should should
maybe be higher uh will's five-star review of the week hasn't even happened for a while i i haven't
i haven't done it in probably over over a month maybe two months so i have to go uh unfortunately
just by that i'm gonna reluctantly go with el glizadente 2024 yeah gogs goes through
gogs i don't have to vote then i guess gogs damn we got we got a food driven one we got
an 11 scompy versus number six chicken piccata summer scompy and chicken piccata summer uh they
really they really were soaring shortly after bit madness last year as we entered into the summer
season i love a good scompy i have to say say that chicken piccata at Sammy's been hitting so different lately.
Let me vote next.
So you're voting chicken piccata?
I'm going to go piccata
just because I think piccata
has more of a lasting power.
But chicken piccata,
there's no stank on the way you say it.
Scampi, no one says scampi
like you idiots do.
I'm sorry, what are you saying?
And so I enjoyed it a little bit more
for that reason. I'm sorry, what are you saying? And so I enjoyed it a little bit more for that reason.
I'm voting scamps.
Onus, Davey boy.
Oh, man, this is tough,
especially in light of the Cooking with Daryl video
we were tagged in yesterday.
He was making a nice chicken piccata.
Oh, delightful.
Did it on some garlic mashed potatoes
um i feel like i'm choosing between like you know my two sons uh give me scomp wow scoppy baby
dude i don't want to share my chicken piccata at sammy's next time i go like i don't want to share my chicken piccata at Sammy's next time I go.
I don't want people thinking that they can have a bite of it.
Eat it yourself.
I know.
I like having it left over so much.
Hey, also, was it Scampi born?
Did we do a lunch there?
It was at Olive Garden for Brando's send-off.
Yeah, send-off lunch.
He chose Olive Garden.
Shut up, Olive Garden, dude.
It was good.
Wasn't bad.
Let me get that cheesecake thing on the books. That's your job.
That's your job, my guy.
Well, Brett decided to leave.
Number seven, Dave reading wiki articles
versus number 10, in-office deal cigs.
Have you been in the office
when Brett smokes a cigarette in the office?
I feel like you've missed the two times you did.
You're lucky.
You're lucky you're not here
because it smells bad and it's not cool. He does it. It's a cigarette in the office? I feel like you've missed the two times you did. You're lucky. You're lucky you're not here because it smells bad and it's not cool.
He does it.
It's a cigarette.
He does it in a way that there's no fanfare.
He doesn't have any kind of swag when he does it.
He just silently creeps over there,
grabs a cig and sparks up.
But I feel like the first time he goes,
hey guys, deal.
He almost announced it
as if we weren't going to smell it.
We're like, oh.
Hey, I'm smoking a cigarette.
Something like that
yeah he also looks so gun shy while he's smoking the cigarettes but i that's that's a big part of
it like yeah he doesn't own the cigarette he's not cocky enough with the sick if he just sat
at his desk and kicked his feet up and lit one up and started smoking at his desk but instead he like
emerges coyly from the that's from the it in his lips, smoking it like a little kid would smoke it.
Struggling to light it.
He's not a real smoker.
No, he's not a real smoker, dude.
No, he's not a real smoker.
I love the idea of office cigs, though.
I do, too.
I do, too.
I just haven't been around for one.
Plus, it's dope when we close a big deal.
Yeah, I mean, anytime you get to smoke a for one. Plus, it's dope when we close a big deal.
Yeah, I mean, anytime you get to smoke a cig in the office, it's celebratory.
I'm going cigs.
I'm not ready for cigs to go.
I'm going to put it on Dylan.
I'm going wiki articles.
I'll go deal cig.
Okay.
No offense to you.
I do enjoy reading a wiki article.
I don't even do that.
Right.
I'm being real right now, Dave.
Oh, shit.
45 minutes late.
I missed a couple days.
Got number 15, backwards hat will versus number two, juxtaposition.
Dude, Dylan is so afraid of backwards hat will.
I'm in the blender right now.
Dude.
This might be an upset, folks.
Dude, you don't like backwards hat will. He's cocky.y he is cocky he's got all his ducks in a row you turn into an asshole when your head goes what
are you talking about just saying that's who i am i don't know i don't know i'm just stealing
people's girls will he go backwards hat for the fifth week in a row on vibe mails tomorrow
people are wondering oh god i'm going i hate to say this
i'm going juxto dude he went juxto on him he doesn't match that juxto button do we
have to have it go through he hates juxtaposition i'm going number two juxtaposition
backwards hat will is um an asset to the patreon the paywall content with juxtaposition
like having to explain what that means to dylan like because he just obviously does not he wasn't
familiar with the term um it's just so funny to me every time we do it it's embarrassing he doesn't
know what it means it's pretty crazy at least now your vocabulary grew a little bit.
Yeah, thanks for teaching us all what juxtaposition
meant. Not all, just you. Yeah, just you.
Maybe Randy.
We're in the retail therapy bracket now.
It's Zah Card, number two,
number 15, 10 million
fireflies. That was a short-lived
bit, but it was a good bit.
It was good. I hated that bit.
Why? Because you couldn't
believe your eyes yeah that song stinks it sucks that it has to go up against zock hard because
zock hard obviously has to go through pretty sure that bit originated on dave's couch
fireflies yeah yeah it did was that a dave's couch week was so fun oh my god i would go back take me back take me back you can come over and sit on the
couch okay you're all welcome i'm going zock hard was that last year i'm going zock that's crazy
some of these aren't from last year okay this was from this was from late summer last year
i mean fireflies dude no but it's august 2024 whenever it's a new bit because it's a new
presidential run zocard yeah it's gotta be zocard that feels right number 10 dave jfk voice
versus number seven dylan sliding and dms what dude if i opened up your dms with casey musgrave
right now what would i see you see two unanswered messages.
Would one of them be a Mario meme?
Yes.
One of them is, you dropped this queen.
Single girl.
That one, the Golden Bachelor lady, Blanche or whatever it was.
It wasn't Blanche.
It's Golden Girls.
Yeah, I did message her.
What if Casey gets in the squad eventually and she's hanging out with us and she follows you on Instagram and goes back and is like, oh.
Okay, if Casey gets in the squad somehow, Will, which would be a huge situation.
She will be in town very soon.
I'll go delete those messages so she can't go back.
No, that just makes it more weird.
I pre-ordered her vinyl and it's just stuck in Kansas.
This happened to my Taylor Swift vinyl that I pre pre-ordered i'm done pre-ordering
vinyl from whatever record label they fucking have together what's going on in kansas why why
does why does this stuff all get whatever all right i'm going i'm going dave jfk voice in an
upset here i like the dave jfk voice i do too and i don't you're not sliding into enough dms of
famous people.
I'm sorry that I don't slide into enough DMs.
Why don't you slide?
I slid into Tiffany Gomas' DMs.
That worked.
She kind of slid into... I think she was more rabid for you than you were for her.
Some would say.
What kind of plane was she flying on?
Was it a Boeing?
More like a Boeing.
She did give up give me jfk i guess it's a joke then voice we've done twice oh it's good
you've done a much more than twice number six dylan stealing your girl and number 11 real
eaters you know for the record i've never stolen stolen anyone's girl. You sure do talk a mean game, though.
It's Real Eaters.
Is it?
Yeah.
I'm voting Real Eaters.
What exactly?
There's no way.
I'm new here.
I've never listened to the show.
I'm liking what I'm hearing so far,
but what's a Real Eater?
A Real Eater is like
if you have scoppy ampicotta
in front of
you and you finish both urban dictionary might disagree with that definition what would i don't
i don't frequent uh what does urban dictionary say i have it from memory if you want me to say it
okay go ahead i believe the urban dictionary definition was pretty much a hoe that guns suck your dick and swallow your kids.
Okay.
Is how it was put in.
I guess it says a person who is eating.
Yeah.
That's what I said.
Definition one, a person who is eating.
Definition two, a fat chick.
Definition three, someone who performs oral sex.
That seems a little inappropriate, but I'm going to stick with number 11, real eaters. Definition three, someone who performs oral sex. That seems a little
inappropriate, but I'm going to stick with number 11, real eaters.
Real eaters. Yeah, I'm going to go
with the eaters. Eaters, number
14, the Austin Ripper.
I guess the Rainy Street Ripper.
Oh my God. Versus
Let's Go Out This Weekend.
Let's Go Out This Weekend. You know how hard it is when you're
doing an Indochino read and you mention a
big event to not shoot down the thing?
Randy, please.
All I'm asking is for you to take the video that I sent you earlier
of Conor McGregor saying,
Lil Woodrow's Let's Go,
and then doing Let's Go Out This Weekend
and putting it over an EDM beat that drops for this weekend of fun.
I think I could do that.
That honestly sounds great.
Hey, find a honestly sounds great.
find a way.
Okay.
Let's make it.
I want to make a piece of merch that just says,
let's go out this weekend.
I vote.
Let's go out this.
I definitely vote.
Let's go out this weekend.
That's all it says on the shirt.
Let's go out this weekend.
I think the last,
the last time I talked to T-Man,
he was like disappointed that I wasn't still following Timon.
I definitely still follow Timon.
And I was like, dude, you're right.
So I refollowed him.
And man, he has been on a tear.
Number four, backers giving their stats on voicemails.
Number 13.
Hi, Dave.
No, no.
Hi, Dave.
No, no, no, no.
That's no.
Backers giving their stats on voicemails.
I really enjoy it. Oh, shucks I really enjoy A great addition to paywall content
We did a super cut video of that
You know what's not a good addition?
Hi Dave
If I was the person
If this was touching base and I was doing
The voicemail screening
I would always play a voicemail
I would always select anyone who gave their stats
At the beginning
I love when people give their stats at the beginning.
No, it's a really good bit.
It makes me very happy.
It's moving on for sure.
Unless the stat is about your private parts, which someone does,
and that someone is a friend of the show, and I have to say,
I'm not playing it.
Homie, don't play that.
Who is it?
I'm not going to name names.
But it's just like way too in detail just like
like girth and length like what's going on kind of hard and soft unless it's boobies it's just
different 12 old gene versus number five standing on business which dylan ruined almost before it
even was out of his mouth he did it was really incredible how he ruined it i was kind of ground
floor on that.
You kind of were.
I still like standing on business.
I caught it when it was cool and right before it became uncool.
You made it uncool.
That's a Drewski John.
Yeah, I made it.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, where did standing on business even originate?
Black Twitter.
Okay.
I like standing on business.
My favorite place ever.
Drewski has a very famous video, which is a good one if you want to get into his catalog.
I'm going to go with SOB.
I love old Gene, but I just think...
Old Gene's had his time.
I don't know if old Gene's got it this year for the 12 over 5 upset.
Standing on business.
Maybe we'll hear from old Gene in content week.
I think old Gene's made every single bracket, so they're just...
Longevity pulling. Yeah, nothing to be ashamed of here gene uh number eight content week versus
number nine a back blown out of plasties is that the same thing is is that the same thing as a
bacchiotomy i don't know because neither one is a real surgery so well you've gotten both of them
i don't okay well what did dave get done he got his eyelids done he got the buccal fat removed
from his eyelids the buccal fat you haven't heard about that no that's like the whole thing that
celebrities are doing from eyelids no it's just from your cheeks oh they get their cheeks slim
down can you just get them clapped that's good i'm going i'm going back blowing out of plasties
yeah i'm gonna do it i stand in solidarity with dylan back blowing out of plastic because i don't
even though like his health condition is not a bit it's uh an homage to him thank you dave i do
appreciate that it's crazy you're willing to get all these surgeries on your your, but you're not willing to simply bleach it. Number 16, Goblin Mode
Goblin Mode
Goblin Mode
versus number one, What's the Damage?
A one seed? Wow.
That's a surprising one seed for me.
Did they have a good regular season against some easy opponents?
Their non-conference was pretty strong.
I thought their season last year was much better.
Yeah, their season last year was much better.
You're right, Randy.
Very right.
Are they about to get Purdue'd?
Oh, God.
See, people hate Goblin Mode well.
That's the issue.
Yeah.
Like, people don't like him.
They just don't like him.
What's the damage is pretty funny.
It's so personal.
I know. What did you spend on that someone asked
me that like about like after i like someone commented that after we had charlie
well babies are quite expensive oh it's a damage on that what was the deductible i don't know
i don't know dave what's the damage moves on right i'm gonna go what's the damage just because i know
that listeners hate goblin Mode Will.
I've never seen a negative thing said about Goblin Mode Will.
I've been told to my face that Goblin Mode Will is not a savory bit.
Who are these people?
Half the first round is for this.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Round one is half done, baby.
Okay.
We're going to the mail-in side of the bracket.
It's a blank play.
Number one seed versus number 16.
Sure.
What's that from?
Isn't sure just how Randy responds to things?
That's how I respond to Brett in that thing.
Sure.
Sure.
I'm going it's a blank play.
Just the least energy possible.
Yeah, yeah.
Because that has infiltrated my brain to the point where it's not even a bit.
I will just say it for things.
Like it's a texture play.
It's a moisture play.
It's a salt play.
Dave ate Triscuits in Montana or something for things like it's a texture play it's a moisture play it's a salt play dave ate triscuits in montana or something he said it was a it was a
texture play was dude no no one's eating triscuits for the texture dude it's like eating straw i feel
like i had some back on that was it dj bean on team triscuit triscuits are so no one buys triscuits
on vacation hey i just found another definition of eater. Okay. It just says, she a eater, and it says, she a thought that's very known.
Yeah.
That's probably the most spot on.
Yeah, I like that one.
She's a thought that's very known.
Person one, that's your girl.
Person two, yeah, bro.
Person three, she a eater, bro.
Straight thotty.
That's so rude to say to somebody.
Yeah, you can't say that to somebody.
Person three needs to fucking chill.
Number one goes through, it's a blank play?
Person three's a dickhead.
Number nine, brick versus number eight, don't clip that, Randy.
Oh, it's brick.
It's brick.
Well, hold on.
Let's talk about this at depth.
Brick's got elite eight potential.
No, you just want brick to go up against glitz at some point.
No, I don't.
It's Brick.
Brick.
What did Brett... What did he wear on the plane?
Probably a fucking Jackson Hole shirt.
Probably a rugby shirt.
Did he set up his P-Flare yet?
Is he going to rock that?
Yeah, he P-Flared last night.
Does he rock Jackson Hole shirt to Jackson Hole?
He put his girlfriend in the P-flare, though.
It doesn't really...
No, he P-flared first.
Oh, did he?
And then the next one, yeah.
So, you know.
Oh, babe, no.
No, see, look.
Follow up.
Oh, she says it uploaded.
Yeah.
She definitely looked at him.
Did you just shoot up a P-flare?
Put one up on me.
That's how that conversation went.
Hey, Brick.
Congrats.
You're going through.
Number five. Dylan still thinks he can take every animal versus number 12 chat gpt fms it's so stupid you can't i don't really do that much
but you still think it we just don't talk about it as much anymore one time i said i could take
a cheetah and i stay it's not it's not like a crazy thing to say and people like oh we don't think you can
take any big cat there is probably a polar bear no i never said any of those y'all don't want to
know what he said about a hippopotamus recently full-grown adult male in the water
you said that with your core strength it could not take you underwater chat gpt fms is moving
on for your boy because those were funny i'm gonna put the uh anus on will it was flashing
the pan that anus on me dog i'm gonna go chat gpt fms i don't think number five is like relevant
enough right now and i feel like we could run back chat gpt fms i also just love the phrase
chat gpt fms i think they might be a i think they might be
a sneaky upset in the first round that goes down in the next round i'm going with chat gpt fms for
now okay i don't think it's got staying power at all it was too quick it's too quick dude flashing
the pan number 13 the ops oh god i don't want to do this one versus number four goon cave
i love the ops dude you have a Goon Cave at your new place.
I'm going Goon Cave just to get out in front of it.
I'll be honest.
The first time I heard the phrase Goon Cave,
I made some assumptions about the word that were maybe incorrect.
But by the time that I realized what I had done, it had gone too far.
So I'm sticking with Goon Cave.
I got diamond hands when it comes to Goon Caves.
I'm going to go with the Ops.
I'd like to put the onus on Dylan.
Goon Cave moves on. Wow, really?
I wasn't here for the Ops. I was out of town.
Dude, I like that you're in on
Goon Cave. I'm not in on it, but I wasn't here for the Ops.
You're the number one
Op of real beaters. So can we make
Texas Gouna again?
No.
If it wins.
Feedback on that hat.
I add some likes.
How many?
A couple.
Six.
No, it was probably more like 50.
I don't know.
Number three.
That's life when you're a motherfucking frat star.
Okay.
Versus number 14.
Cream corn goose guy.
I can't believe they used that line in that fucking movie
that's like when you're a motherfucking yeah it's like the last line and then it just cut scene like
that's the end of the movie yep wasn't there a secret scene at the end if you stuck around
through the credits goon said like a marvel one yeah i don't i don't recall it was dorn and bacon
wrestling don't just go and got a paddle it was dorn just we never got the
money to make that sequel cream corn goose guy i fucking hate that guy that guy stinks
he does stink but that's why for me he's moving on i i've moved on from him in my life i don't
know if i wanted to be a presence hovering over me until Monday next week.
What does he have stuck to the side of his car, like a magnetic?
A cup.
His magnetic water bottle, dude.
That's right.
That's how outdoorsy this guy is.
What a total boner this guy is.
I have photos of him, dude.
Guy's a psycho.
Where's he at on any given Friday or or saturday night around rainy street just asking yeah
seriously just asking questions person of interest it's good that you moved out of there
i know he was gonna kill me he was the way that his neck snapped back to stare at me as he drove
by one day was unlike anything i've ever experienced i hate that guy i'm voting for
that's life when you're a motherfucking fast star i'm voting for That's Life When You're a Motherfucking Fat Star
I'm voting for That's Life When You're a Motherfucking Fat Star
Wow
Upset
There it is
I would love to know what that song was
It's ending there too
Terrible dude
It sounds like a Disney Channel
In between commercials
Number 11 Pigpen vs. Number 6
What? Can someone remind me what Pigpen is? yeah like in between commercials so it does number 11 pig pen versus number six what can someone
remind me what pig pen is oh that's not a good omen for this this bit pig pen was i think it's
just is that that was when dave was pay pigging i think it's the name of the studio oh yeah then
we called the studio the pig pen for like a week there got it yeah okay i mean i love my aziz voice it's the only it's the only
impression i can actually do at this point i can't do a trump i can't do a biden my christopher
walken never hits it doesn't sound right aziz though it's all i have uh i'll go i'll go with
these i'll give aziz the nod i like that it says will's on z's voice. I was about to ask, have I been saying it wrong all these years?
Yeah, you haven't gotten his name right.
Good stuff.
Number seven, Nice With It versus number 10, Carve.
Carve.
I love Carve, dude.
I do, too.
They had the worst service of all time the other night,
and I still fucking love these guys.
I'll say it, dude dude their horseradish
cream sauce might be goaded oh with the with the prime with that prime rib dude oh yeah oh my gosh
anytime a good order anytime you have a normal pour of wine and then you have the carve pour
that's bigger like that's just sick who's not getting the car i'm going car imagine i'll go carve too i love i love going there then ordering a bunch of meat maybe like a board of meat and then not
really eating of any of it because your appetite's gone yeah why'd the appetite go away i don't i
don't they have nice specialty cocktails too then you just give your waitress they do all like three
pounds of just just give her the beef here's the prime beef. Prime beef. Ready? The car's moving on, right? Yep.
Number 15, The Dumb Cumsters, which is the name, obviously, for people who listen to the cinematic universe of Marvel.
The one episode we did.
Yep.
Yep.
They're the Dumb Cumsters.
And then number two, Pledge Voice.
I assume that means, oh, little pledge.
I got bad news for Dumb Cumsters.
Is that Pledge Voice? I think the pledges dumb comsters. Is that Pwedge's voice?
I think the Pwedges are moving on.
Did we break your skin with a paddle?
Oh, I'm sorry.
You can't sit down for a week?
Have you been living in a dumpster for the entire semester?
Did you fail your class because you couldn't go?
Did we make you drop out to mess with you?
Did your parents pull you out of school?
You get a 0.8 GPA this semester.
I had a pledge brother.
It wasn't a pledge brother.
I knew a guy who got a bad rush and we didn't realize he was never enrolled in school.
Love that, dude.
Love that.
That's so badass.
In fact, not only just went all the way through.
That's great.
And we're like, oh.
Dude, that's real frat stuff.
So you don't go here.
He's a real fratter.
Didn't go anywhere, as it turns out.
Shout out to him.
He's just a townie?
Not even a townie.
He just wanted a frat.
He was just hanging out.
Which, I mean.
Did he pay dues and shit?
Dude, a girl that I knew was dating a guy who used all his student loan money and he was like oh shit i'm just i'm just gonna ball he just didn't enroll
in school and spent all the money on shit that's the worst idea i know we were we told the girl
we were like you need to get away from this guy this is the biggest red flag did he invest it
i don't know if he invested it probably not that would have been a smart play hey pledge voice congratulations i'm voting for
you oh you gotta go to the next round did you live to see another day yeah you wanna wish you
didn't yeah that moves on for sure that's a good one oh oh oh whoa dude randy what that was now
randy's doing a great job working this.
I wouldn't be able to do it.
We have number two, Pwedge, versus number 15, Riatime.
Oh, God.
I'll be honest.
I hate Riatime.
Riatime.
Riatime stinks.
Why is it spelled like a woman's name?
It does stink, usually.
It's not spelled correctly.
It's spelled like the succession character.
Yeah, that's just how it was on the bracket.
That's how I play it.
I hate Riatime. I don't like poop humor.
I'm going Pledge. Pledge is great.
Yeah. We even have a Pledge
in the studio. I think Ria
time could be something big.
I think for me,
Ria time
moves on. Wow.
Dave wants the upset, but unfortunately it's not
happening. Pledge moves on.
Dude, that was one of the funniest segments we've had in months.
Dude, this is Randy's best bit ever.
No, it's real time.
It's Randy's only good bit.
Number 10, Mondos.
Here's number seven, Pints with the Lads.
I just don't think Pints with the Lads has the oomph here.
It's got to be Mondos.
I enjoy Mondo too much.
I don't know why.
Everyone wanted Mondos in real time, but it's not here's the thing poor brett uses the bathroom one time during an episode we didn't have the wall up i know i said i don't got i don't like
poop humor but the word mondo is so great dude he drops mondos it's just the word mondo like it's
we're the only podcast trying to make mondo a a thing again, and it's just crazy. Mondo moves on from me.
Yeah, Mondo's going.
I love Pines with the Lads, but.
Right.
Number six, Vortex bottles versus number 11.
Ski-wee.
Ski-wee.
This is tough for me.
That is tough, man.
I should do a Vortex bottle tweet, actually.
Every time I see or think about a vortex
bottle it makes me happy just the way the the liquid leaves the bottle you understand so fast
yeah ski we was from the list of gen z terms that the teacher banned in a class remember
yeah what a prude just let the boys say the words oh um i'm gonna vote for
i'm gonna go vortex bottles on this i'm going vortex
all right i'm tweeting i'm tweeting miller light right now it's been a minute
okay this is a live tweet if you could go like it in real time, everybody.
Thank you.
Number 14, that's our biz dev guy versus number three, pay pig.
Hmm.
How did that's our biz dev guy originate?
Mondos.
Was he doing something ridiculous? He was probably doing something fucking stupid.
And we were like, that's our biz dev guy.
It's pay pig, dude.
Is it because he bricked his outfit?
Dude, when Dave got a slap on the wrist from the FAA about, or not FAA, whatever it was
for sending out too many Venmos, that was such an epic day in the studio.
What do they want me to do?
Not send money to random women I've never met and never will?
What the fuck's their problem?
Hey, they can stop you from exchanging money, Dave, but they can't stop you from commenting on their Instagram, supporting them.
That's a great point, Queens.
Great golf swing.
Imagine just giving some young lady money
just because you think she's attractive.
She's never going to even thank you for it.
Well, it's not all about looks.
He doesn't have to imagine it, dude.
He does it all the time.
Pay Pig moves on for your boy.
Yeah, it's Pay Pig.
Number four, fraternity leave versus number 13, make messy in my nappy.
Well, I hate this side of the bracket right now.
Yeah, this is dumb. Too much poop humor.
There's way too much poop humor that I'm going to vote against every single time except for
Hondo.
It's easily the filthiest side of the bracket.
It's gross, dude. Make messy in my nappy. filthiest side of the bracket it's gross dude
make messy in my nap fraternity leave i think it's got to be fraternity leave as a nod to our sons i
mean dave and i both got to do it this year wait was make messy in my nappy did that come from the
daily star i did yeah see you guys don't read that as your number one source of news no we don't
fraternity leave moves on for me yeah it's fraternity leave number 12 women in stem
versus number five dave
being the favorite dave being the favorite is not a bit yeah he's just the favorite he's just flat
out people's favorite and i don't think women in stem are a bit either because i support them no
matter what i don't think women are bits buddy i'm sorry i don't think women are bits buddy
there's a comma there. Okay. Bits buddy. Huh.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
He is everyone's favorite.
Look, for me, I stand in women in STEM, so you know for me.
I'm going women in STEM because Dave being the favorite is not a bit.
It's just the reality.
I would have voted for Dave being the favorite, but I guess it doesn't matter.
Yeah, bitch.
Just want to go on record.
So it's women in STEM?
Women in STEM. Number eight, Dylan following AI models. but i guess it doesn't matter yeah just want to go on record those women instead women in stem
uh number eight dylan following ai models to uh number nine bad boys of small podcast i follow one ai model it's not a big deal that's your name you followed the out of her though um melissa
sophia how much money have you sent her i'd rather not say is she doing well
i'd rather not say is she doing well she's okay she's gained a little weight really yeah i swear i swear okay not anything wrong
with it but like the ai model like she's clearly has put on a few pounds which is funny to me
you don't know what she's going through i know i don't i hope hopefully it's just is this on
instagram or is this a healthy way is this on instagram or twitter that you follow twitter
okay it's healthy way she looks great still okay or Twitter that you follow her? Twitter. Okay. It's healthy weight.
She looks great still.
Okay.
Okay.
She's filling out, man.
She's getting older.
She's maturing.
I can't believe...
This is such a ridiculous thing to follow.
She's doing numbers, dude.
Of course she is.
She's beautiful.
She's got 150,000 followers on Instagram.
She's living in Helsinki.
She releases YouTube videos,
but it's just a slideshow of her pictures.
It's really ridiculous.
I hate this.
I'm going Dylan following AI models.
It's just one.
Dave?
AI models all the way.
Dylan following models.
It's not even close.
This is never a game.
This is a good final matchup for the day.
We've got Dirty Chai Bread at number 16 against Pants Beer number one.
That's our biz dev guy.
Oh, that's where that came from.
Right?
It was definitely said in that context.
It was.
Dude, I love a Pants Beer though.
He had a coffee meeting with someone and he ordered a Dirty Chai Latte.
Because we asked him because we know he doesn't drink coffee so i'm like wait hey you go to a lot of coffee meetings what are you ordering just curious it's the dirty chai with a little cinnamon
on it some whipped cream which is fine it's just i mean i don't know man oh you're staring across a
business associate yeah what if it's a real tough negoti pants beers moves off for me it's a one seed
god my pants have been so dry lately yeah we got it we got you think guinness would let us do a
pants beer video for something tells me no okay but we're not drinking it that's true we'll talk
to legal we'll talk to legal hey thanks everyone for, for putting together this bracket. This has been fun. It was fun.
Oh, it's time for This Weekend in Fun, presented by our friends over at Roback.
You know your boy's going to be strapped up with that Roback when he goes to the Masters.
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We're going to the Masters.
Not this weekend.
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They've got azaleas on everything.
It's just a beautiful thing to see.
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Dylan, what are you getting
into this weekend?
Thanks for asking, Will.
Don't have anything
on the books for Friday.
Park says his second
baseball game saturday morning
his first one is tomorrow actually so i will be at his game saturday morning it's gonna be a
beautiful weekend i will be spending most of it outside hopefully what's the weather
high 78 and sunny friday and saturday wow so beautiful wow oh my god it's a great weekend
to dump an entire beer on your crotch it absolutely
is that's all i have it's just those two things sunday i get um parks is with me we'll go do
something that's it man what's so funny david what's so fucking funny david i was just thinking
about like you giving bread on a call with uh an alcohol sponsor and then be like we love everything
you sent over um i think you accidentally sent one where you spilled beer on your pants and like that one obviously isn't
getting posted you're like whoa what no that's our number one idea that's that's kind of the lead
that's the feature i thought about submitting a tapping in photo where you're putting your
finger in the beer but i didn't think they'd go for that either no you can't you can't finger the
beer oh everyone's looking at you david what are you doing this weekend this guy's problem i
i hate that bit for some reason the finger in the beer thing i don't know why it's stupid it's so
stupid i did it one time tapping in you don't need to do that because you're 40 dude do it again
tapping in you want me to make that the thought that's not a thing i want you to make that whole clip baby
no no no no there's much better stuff to choose from you're asking me about my weekend
yeah yeah yeah very clearly um daddy's gonna be um dude i'm slamming my laptop shut today
uh no i'm actually not uh i'm having my um having my thing tomorrow
my pros you're you're gonna have to expand on this my procedure um having it tomorrow morning
um so i'm gonna be all valumed up maybe i don't know what they do and um
dylan if you ever want to make a baby with me you got about 24 hours buddy
okay all right uh see how your schedule looks later yeah so we're uh it's going away is it
kind of sad yeah is there any existential like thing to this yeah i guess technically you could
reverse it at some point but that is nice knowing that i you know i don't i say hopefully it doesn't
come to that i don't think, I don't want it.
It is a little bit weird.
It is a little bit like, huh, okay.
Yeah.
I mean, it's, I said this to Alyssa.
I said, my purpose is a man on this earth.
It's gone.
No more little Daves running around.
Yeah.
I'm a man.
I'm 40.
I got two lads.
Pretty happy with them.
Handsome lads.
Three.
Man, I don't know how I could do a third.
You know, we're barely getting by with two.
Yeah.
You know, who knows?
Very tough.
Yeah, brother.
Brother?
I don't know, man.
You know what I'd say to your...
It's tough, Dylan, yeah.
You know what I'd say to your swimmers if I was the lead singer of Inguvus?
What?
Nice to know you.
Goodbye.
I hate what just happened.
Incubus.
He was so hot.
He would perform without a shirt on.
Oh my God.
Brandon is so hot.
But he wasn't muscular,
but he had a perfect body.
People did say that.
Saw some dudes.
They were in a boat on Lake austin it was really early in
the morning when i was letting rosie out and like very glassy out there no wind and the dude was
just slowly in the no wake zone just going through it and he was just blasting incubus
floating down the river and i was like man this dude's doing a lot right now like you can't you
can't play the song floating down the River while you're floating down the river.
That's massage music.
So you're just straight lamping this weekend around the crib.
So I'm sitting on ice.
I'm going to be so bored.
I do want to start.
I'm going to finish the gentle.
I'm going to get two more left.
I'm going to start Mr. and Mrs. Smith probably.
You're going to make a gentleman joke?
I was going to make a joke about finishing gentlemen
since you're not going to be.
It's a joke at my pee pee expense.
It's a vasectomy joke.
I'm glad you're finding humor.
I'm jealous, dude. I know you not sitting on your ass i'm jealous your weekend that's awesome if i if i make any gumbo this weekend or anything you want
the gift of it i don't think there's any dietary restrictions but nothing that's gonna nothing's
gonna make me take a mond i'm sorry oh you don't want my gumbo dude it's extra spicy oh it doesn't
sound good that does sound great yeah what the fuck sorry so my gumbo doesn't sound good well
we've got t first t-ball practice is sunday i don't really know i'm gonna go but i'm gonna
we went over this i don't know if i'm supposed to like i don't want the coach to think i'm like lazy
you know because i want i need to want to be out there like hey i'm gonna help but
realistically i'm i don't i don't want to do any damage.
I'm supposed to like not do anything active for at least a week.
You're not expected to contribute.
Yeah.
I know, but I want to be hanging over the fence like, come on, Chile, no.
Come on, Chile, no.
Anyway.
So, yeah, that's what I'm doing.
Hey, March Madness, madness dude see if my bracket gets
busted who's your champion purdue man what the fuck nice dude what kind of question is that let's
go love that wind boiler makers it's not how it goes already established they're not gonna win
they're not gonna win you just you say that but you actually believe it boiler up yeah i do
actually you believe that they're gonna to make it, I'm saying.
No.
I've been let down way too many times to be this foolish to believe again.
I will not believe until I get to the final four.
Those are the hardest ones to win, Randy.
Well, that's the only time I'll get excited.
Okay.
Sad.
Will? You know. No. okay sad well you know no um you know it's it's not a big weekend uh or it's for some it is a big weekend um friday afternoon i'm playing lions municipal golf course you guys familiar with
this place um i haven't played in a little bit. It's supposed to be a beautiful day.
I think I'm going to go out there and go a little low.
Unfortunately, my wife has made plans without me on Friday night,
so your boy will be chilling on that couch,
just making sure no one breaks into the house or anything.
Let's just FaceTime.
While those boys sleep.
Yeah, I'll FaceTime you, Dave.
Maybe we can go live.
We should. Saturday, I got a birthday party to go to. You're probably like,Time you, Dave. Maybe we can go live. And then... We should.
Saturday, I got a birthday party to go to.
You're probably like,
oh man, that's going to be lit.
Yeah, he's turning two.
So we out here.
I'm going to go do that.
And no real plans after that.
There's talk around the town
about maybe it being a potty training weekend.
I'm going to be straight up honest with you.
I'm not looking forward to it.
I don't want to clean up any messies and any nappies this weekend,
but I think I'm going to be in.
I'm going to do that.
So it is what it is, but not a big weekend.
It's probably good.
Probably going to get in that garden, yo.
You want to come over?
I haven't even seen your place yet, man.
I know.
I need to have you guys over now that we have actual furniture
that is in the inside of our home.
We'll see.
I'll put something
on the books.
Now that we got
the grill and stuff,
you guys want me
to grill you
some vegetables?
Yeah.
Okay.
I know there'd be
like a ribeye or something,
but whatever.
It's fun.
I mean,
maybe some turbot.
Bring over some turbot
and some ribeye.
Okay.
Great.
I'd have a master's party,
but I'm going to be there.
Just kidding.
I'm only going to be there
for Tuesday, so I'll be back.
Tuesday?
You're going to be there two days.
Tuesday.
Stop.
Tuesday practice round is perfect for your boy.
Sounds great.
It's going to be dope, man.
Must be nice.
Is that all she wrote?
Long episode.
That's it.
These bit madness ones get out of control.
Let's get out of here.
All right.
See you guys.
Bye. control let's get out of here all right see you guys bye