Circling Back - Buzzfeed Headlines & Carbon Footprints
Episode Date: September 25, 2019Buzzfeed had an all-time bad headline, Dillon's carbon footprint is absolutely massive, Biden's son's company's logo looks like Bang Energy, and more. We also read some of the best recent reviews and ...do This Weekend In Fun. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (9:19) Dave Went To Lowe's Last Night (19:10) All-Time Bad Buzzfeed Headline (26:45) How We Take Our Hot Dogs (37:55) Dillon's Carbon Footprint (43:51) Recent Reviews (54:45) This Weekend In Fun Shop Circling Back Merchandise: www.washedmedia.com/shop Earlybird CBD: www.earlybirdcbd.com (CIRCLINGBACK for 20% off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast live from the early bird cbd studios in austin texas
my name is will to freeze to my right david ruff did you have to think about the right
from left thing big spooky is that what that was were you having think about the right from left thing? Big spooky.
Is that what that was?
Were you having trouble with the right left thing?
Dude, stop. Don't tell people about this.
Do people not know that about you? I don't know.
I think we've mentioned it before.
It's embarrassing.
Yeah, as it should be.
I don't know my rights and lefts. Let's just get it
out there. It's true. If someone tells
me to go right, there's a 50% chance I go left.
I've been sitting shotgun in your car.
We've been going somewhere.
I was telling you where we're going.
And I've told you, like, yeah, take a right here.
And you're like, I have to point, like, this way, dude.
And then Sally and I will be driving.
And she'll be, yeah, she'll, like, tell me, like, all right, take a left here.
And I'll just whip a right really hard.
And she'll be like, are you fucking kidding me?
I'm like, yeah, sorry.
It's all right, man.
I have to mentally think of the L thing that you do with your hands,
and sometimes I don't have that much time to think about that.
I don't know, man.
It's plagued me since first grade.
My teacher called me up to the front of the class
and made me do left and right thing.
Oh, shit.
And it was bad.
That's why.
It was traumatic for you.
Maybe a little bit.
And your brain refuses to let that information in.
It's just so weird how bad I am.
I feel like there's got to be a way to help you out.
Maybe hypnosis or some kind of re-education.
I've been hypnotized, but they didn't do left-right stuff.
They didn't do exercises with me.
I'm sorry, you've been hypnotized?
I got hypnotized
when uh at a like senior all-night party thing in high school we had a hypnotist at our senior
thing like that it didn't work on me it kind of worked on me it didn't work the entire time but
there were certain times where it did work he sent me back to the crowd yeah i it it worked in the
beginning and then like all of a sudden i kind of was like all right i don't really follow anymore so i had just faked it for a little bit
just because i was like i don't want to ruin this guy's day wow our lock-in was nothing like that
what was yours i mean it just we didn't have a hypnotist i mean it was you didn't have a hypnotist
no dude they had games and shit but it was like in raffles.
And I remember they had a breathalyzer there too.
So they were going to...
And they never...
I don't think they used it on anybody, but they threatened because they knew people were
going to show up hammered.
Did you show up hammered?
I don't think I did, actually.
How many Coronas were you coasting off without doing a shift at Subway?
I think we just took Vicodin.
No, I'm kidding.
You just went full pill?
Some people did go pill.
Speaking of pills, what up, DeShivery?
Yeah, what are you on today?
Let's play Guess What Dylan's On.
Don't act like I pop pills, dog.
You're back.
You don't.
You complain so much about your back that it's clear that you don't have painkillers on you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah, I appreciate that.
Dylan complained about his back, and he was back at the gym the next day.
That is not true.
No days off.
Two days later.
I took four days off at the gym, Dave.
Four days.
He was back there on Friday.
And when I did go back,
I was like,
what's up, man?
When I did go back,
I did very lightweight stuff
just to keep the muscles awake.
Dylan was doing power clean.
Just to keep the muscles awake.
My back still hurts, by the way.
I'm just not complaining about it.
Is that a thing,
keeping them awake?
I think so. Like, you don't want to you know mine are fast asleep i don't want it to at atrophy atrophy atrophy i think you're gonna be okay after a few days i feel like that doesn't happen for
many many months mentally though it's it's more mental atrophy yeah you know you get back from
like a week-long vacation and you just want to get right back to the gym because you've been
laying around for a week?
Dude, totally.
I usually try to lift on vacay.
That's how I feel every day when I wake up.
The guy who lifts on vacay, that guy sucks.
I love running on the beach.
Before we went to the spot, the resort this past weekend,
the guy I was with, he was like,
yeah, I'm going to get a quick workout in, 10 minutes.
And I was like, dude, I love that you just did a 10-minute workout
before hitting the steam room.
You got to keep the muscles awake, man.
Just keeping them awake.
Just some hit. Did some hit. I don't know.
Yeah. Good for him.
Yeah. I was like 10 minutes. I mean I was like shit I could have done that with you.
Who was that? It's my boy
Thompson. I didn't know
he was a workout guy. I mean 10 minutes.
Apparently he's not. I'm more of an executive
workout guy as we showed so that's
just who i am now hey so this morning i let rosie out like i do we went to the dog park and she's
coneless now which is huge anytime you can take your cone off your dog like your money right walk
upstairs see my neighbor neighbor opens the door rosie goes and she's like all excited to see the
neighbor the neighbor likes rosie she calls her by name rosie goes and she's like all excited to see the neighbor the neighbor likes
rosie she calls her by name rosie just sprints into her apartment and i'm like what the hell
what the hell am i supposed to do here right now does she have dogs she's got one dog and the dog
is also very friendly it's very good looking kind of like a mini randy right now i think it's a puppy
but i was like dude do i stand in the doorway and call rosie who's clearly not listening to me
because she's sprinting into this person's apartment like i, I don't want to intrude on their apartment.
It's early in the morning.
Yeah, yeah.
You definitely don't burst in there.
But I didn't want to like, I didn't have time or like the mental wherewithal to ask for consent to go into the apartment.
So I just stood in the doorway.
I was like, Rosie, Rosie.
That's the move.
And then I was like, just drag her over here.
It's fine.
Did she create any destruction?
No, no. She was just, no, she got in's fine. Did she create any destruction? No, no.
She was just, no, she got in the other dog's bed and just sat there for a second.
I was like, oh my God.
That's best case.
Please leave.
Okay.
She didn't squirt out any pee pee?
No, no pee pee was squirted.
That's fine.
She's forgotten off.
I've seen her do that before.
Yeah, she doesn't do that as much.
She used to get excited when she would see like
someone new and let a little dribble out dave does it sometimes i do that i do it all the time yeah
yeah i feel like that's a girl thing i feel like girls always like pee when they laugh
um what 2019 no it's just a thing like i feel like i feel like in high school my buddies were
never like oh i was laughing so hard I peed.
And then, like, but, like, the girls that we hung out with,
they'd be like, yeah.
We would always just say crapped our pants.
Oh, okay.
Laughed so hard, just completely dumped one.
Is that what happened to Kendall in Succession?
He was just laughing so hard in his sleep that he pooped his pants?
I don't think so.
Oh.
That scene was pretty gross.
It wasn't great.
I got shit for talking to Hashtagad and not realizing that he pooped his pants
i didn't know what happened oh i saw that i was wondering if you would how you missed that
or you hadn't seen it yet so what i thought it might have been was blood nosebleed or something
i wasn't really sure neither are ideal like you don't want either of those but i wasn't really
sure you prefer blood to doodoo though i don't know so blood is more
dangerous doodoo is obviously stigma wise long-term repercussions more i think mentally the
shitting myself would would stick with me longer like i'm gonna hope i don't shit myself again
i'm getting too fucked up yeah and trying to fly a helicopter And trying to fly a helicopter. And trying to fly a helicopter.
Yeah, I guess that's true.
A nosebleed you don't feel as responsible for,
whereas like,
you really take a step back
and look at yourself
and you poop your pants
in your sleep.
Yeah.
And it's just disgusting.
The smell and the laying in it
and you gotta go
hose off basically.
It's just nasty.
Pretty excited to announce it.
I have never done that.
Pooped your pants.
Never crapped the bed.
Yeah, I haven't either.
Even as a baby.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was known for it.
Wow.
Father, I need to go to the bathroom.
That's impressive.
Father rough.
I need to relieve myself.
What's happening?
I don't know.
We should probably stop talking about poop at some point.
Okay.
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
On a Wednesday.
Yeah, let's do it.
Hey, how did spooky season go yesterday?
A lot of people were saying it was bone chillingly frightening.
Very, very well received.
Very well received.
People love it.
The big news for all these people out here who aren't patrons, which imagine not being optimized at this point,
some people are saying it was one of the most electric episodes ever recorded.
And I don't think they're wrong.
It's on the main feed.
I definitely listen to it.
You can listen to it anywhere podcasts are found.
But if you want more, you're going to have to be an optimized backer.
It's only going to get more frightening as we transition into the Patreon.
That was just a taste.
That was just a taste.
If you guys don't think I'm going to go harder next week, you're crazy.
Dude, be careful.
You need to be institutionalized.
Be careful.
I don't know if you can go harder.
Under promise over delivered day.
That's what people say.
The cat's out of the bag.
Sally came back from recording the mail-in yesterday,
and she was like,
Dylan made me listen to the beginning of Spooky Season like five different times today.
I played it one time.
She was like, he wouldn't stop playing it.
He was just laughing so hard.
I thought it was just one.
It was one.
I was sitting right here.
Sally, get a grip.
That's so rude.
She was probably just sitting in the parking garage doing it.
Dave, what are you doing?
That's Dylan.
Dylan's ice. Oh, yeah. Dylan always is just sitting in the parking garage doing it. Dave, what are you doing? That's Dylan. Dylan's ice.
Oh yeah, Dylan always is just chewing ice on the mic.
Either way, all the episodes
will be live on Patreon. Patreon.com
slash Circling Back Podcast
starting next Tuesday.
Hey, speaking of spooky season, I went to
Lowe's last night.
So they have all their Halloween stuff
out, obviously. I love it when that happens. They also have all their Halloween stuff out, obviously. I love it when that happens.
They also have all their Christmas stuff out.
Too soon. It's September.
Correct.
I thought it was too soon. Central Market,
the grocery store I go to, I thought it was way too soon
that they had
pumpkin stuff out in the beginning
of September, like September 4th.
They had a bunch of pumpkin stuff out.
This seems a little premature. Do they have any cornucopias out? I was going to say, they shouldn a bunch of pumpkin stuff out and I was like, this seems a little premature.
Do they have any cornucopias out?
I was going to say, they shouldn't even have Thanksgiving stuff out yet.
Not until Halloween's over, right?
Is that how this works?
Do you mean like a cornucopia?
Cornucopia, yeah.
Like little, you know, turkey decoration shit?
I don't know.
So I almost grabbed the company card
and bought like one of those
spooky Halloween that, I don't know, you walk by and it talks to you like a witch.
With a scary voice.
Yeah, I almost made an executive purchase for the stew.
And I was like, man, this would be kind of pointless, wouldn't it?
Yeah.
Did you go to the greenhouse area of Home Depot?
I did not.
You went to Lowe's.
I was at Lowe's.
Oh, at Lowe's.
Lowe's has a greenery.
They have the greenhouse
as well yeah i was in there last weekend did you see any gardener snakes rolling around looking
for some azaleas or anything wearing bucket hats no but when when uh our friend brett here who's
in studio uh came by a couple days ago he caught me out front i was uh hosing down the yard really
yeah are you yard you're a yard work guy Yeah. I'm trying to get our front yard back.
Do you have a St.
Augustine died?
Do you have a sprinkler system?
No.
Okay.
What's your,
what's your yard work fit look like?
Do you have like an apron that you wear?
You pop top?
No.
And here's why I want to pop top just because it makes sense.
It set the tone in my neighborhood.
I live near that park,
like right by the park people are
old neighbors are always bringing their dogs out there and there's it's a high probability for me
having a conversation and i don't want to talk to my neighbor shirtless i think you should
it's just you know i feel you i kind of wish you dressed like do you remember how mr feeney
dressed in like boy meets world when he gardened i don't he put on like a denim overcoat over like
all of his clothes to make sure that he didn't get dirty or something i just really enjoyed it's
quite warm it is quite warm no i pretty much just go like um you play workout workout shorts and a
tea man keeping keeping the lawn green in the summertime without a sprinkler system it takes
it takes some work it takes some time it's heavily, we have a big tree in our front yard
and it shades almost the entire thing.
So there was a ton of leaves.
I raked up a bunch of leaves,
bagged them up,
kind of tilled up the dirt.
I don't know if that's the word.
Probably not.
Just kind of moved it around
and then I laid down some turf builder.
Look at you, man.
Dude, you're fucking doing it.
I don't think it's going to do anything, though.
You should get some Birkenstock clogs, too.
Sorry, I'm just micromanaging your fit.
I apologize.
I'm not going to garden in clogs.
Yeah, you are, dude.
Secret Santa this year.
I'm just getting you all gardening clothes.
We're doing a Secret Santa?
I think we should do Secret Santa.
Or White Elephant.
It's too soon to even talk about that.
Or White Elephant.
You're the one who brought up Christmas.
I was making a larger point about
commercialization and globalism.
I don't know.
Corporatism.
All the isms.
Christmasisms.
They're trying to take the Christ out of Christmas.
I don't know if you guys have seen this.
I've heard about this, yeah.
It's fucked up.
Couldn't be me.
We do need to get some kind of Halloween.
Do you enjoy doingyonce and you enjoy
doing lawn work some of it yeah i what i need to buy a new sprinkler i have the sprinkler that you
stab into the dirt and it rotates sure i want the lay down one that shoots back and forth like a
fountain right dude cop one player how much i'm gonna they gotta be like 10 bucks i was gonna say
like 13 not not expensive yeah because it's a pain in the ass to water and because you have to like Right. Dude, cop one player? How much are they? They got to be like $10. I was going to say, like $13? Not expensive, yeah.
Because it's a pain in the ass to water.
Because you have to adjust it.
You never get it perfect, and you're hosing down the sidewalk,
wasting a lot of water.
Have you all seen the John Duda neighbor wave?
No.
I don't know where he posted it.
Twitter, probably.
Oh, my God god it is so
perfect and so funny do you wave kind of down you just you just throw your hand downward basically
as you walk by and you you put your head down and kind of like a just subtle nod it's you have to
see it i do that's what for for my boat wave i do like a quick point and then just throw that throw
one hand up like kind of like I'm dropping a mic.
So my new steering wheel wave,
instead of doing two-finger, like mini-piece,
I just throw the one.
Well, you don't have a Jeep anymore, so you can't do your Jeep wave.
That's true.
You were a big Jeep wave guy
when you had your Grand Cherokee.
Yeah.
The Jeep wave.
I hate the Jeep wave.
They hold their resale value.
You're not a Jeep guy jeep waves are so lame i didn't drive a jeep wrangler for the record it was a chair is like
when they have the thing on the back that says uh like you wouldn't understand it's a jeep thing
like i kind of do understand like i'm aware of the vehicle yeah i'm aware of jeeps and what's
everything that comes with them will defrees aware of jeeps i'm gonna i'm gonna get an extra
spare tire on the back of my ford fusion and just put a cover on just says like you wouldn't
understand it's a jeep thing it's a fusion thing it's a fusion thing fifth wheel on back i've tried
doing the fusion wave but not a lot of people there's some guy in the area who has the exact
same car as me hey you know ruin 2007 ford fusion okay there's a vehicle that's i feel like once a year
someone either lives in austin or is coming through here post it to twitter it's the one
with the the huge spokes poking out that thing oh my god you know you know it's it's right down
the street crossing the gas station yeah that whole that whole uh i don't know if it's a whole
cat or whole engineering it's parked there all the time. Dude, I saw him on South Lamar probably two weeks ago,
and he was kind of right there by Sprouts and Pine House
where it's like three lanes across.
He was swerving back and forth across all three lanes
in pretty heavy traffic.
People were having to make room for this guy
so he could just stunt across all three lanes. I've never seen anything like
it in my life. He was swinging? He was swinging.
And those spokes,
they stick out like two feet.
They're huge. I don't think they're street legal.
They're dangerous. How is a guy not getting pulled over?
They pull us
over for our damn registration and this guy's
out here like a gladiator.
Those are so unsafe.
This isn't gladiator, buddy.
Did you get a ticket?
No, I got a warning.
Oh, okay.
So did I.
It's something you would see in a movie
like James Bond-esque,
to take out cars next to it or something.
Yeah, it's stupid.
It's ridiculous.
Yeah.
No one should have that.
That guy's a wild man.
Yeah.
I kind of enjoyed watching him do it, though,
and people freak out.
Dude, i was on
south congress uh downtown which there's not that much room on south or sorry i guess north congress
i was on congress downtown no cow no cow and uh yeah they're like there's no room there for
anything and he's just driving and i'm like dude he's about to clip like the ankles of some
pedestrians down here oh he'll take you out if you're on a bird scooter, like, your feet are gone.
Done.
See ya.
I drove by him the other day,
rolled down the window,
I was like,
hey, nice slab, Mike.
You're really flexing on him, Mike.
You had to do it to him.
Yeah, I gotta drop this off, man.
I'll see you later.
You had to do it to him. Yep, heading to Lowe's. Oh, drop this off, man. I'll see you later. You got to do it to him.
Yep, heading to Lowe's.
Oh, stunt on a mic.
That certainly is a flex.
Weird flex, but okay.
Okay.
Let's talk about our friends over at Honey.
Generic guy who's too online.
Too online.
Too online generic guy in car
we talk about honey let's talk about honey all right have you guys ever bought something online
and then found out you could have gotten it for less unfortunately is it the most frustrating
experience you've ever had leaving money on the table man it's worse than literally anything
yeah anything well it's it's pretty it's up there okay and then not to mention, once that happens,
you feel like you're always just overpaying for every time you buy something.
It's just terrible.
Luckily, your boy got Honey.
It's a plug-in on my browser, and it's saving me dollars every single day.
Do you remember the other day when we signed up for, what was it?
Can we name it?
Vimeo.
We signed up for Vimeo.
And luckily, I had Honey installed on my browser,
and it was like, oh, you want 15% off?
Here you go, player.
I was like, thank you, Honey.
That's a real live in-game experience.
And I said to my computer, I was like, thank you, Honey.
And then Sally looked at me, and she was like,
who are you talking to?
And I was like, oh, sorry.
It's just this app I got a little thing with.
Honey is bae.
Honey scans the internet for coupon codes and other discounts,
and then like magic, it automatically applies the one with the biggest savings
to your card at checkout.
It knows about every coupon code, sale, or discount at over 20,000 sites
like Amazon, Macy's, J.Crew, Domino's, Sephora, Target, and more.
It's incredible.
Believe me, it feels amazing.
You'll forget about it, and then you'll go search something like with Vimeo,
and then it'll just pop up, and you'll be like, oh, hell yeah.
I'm so glad I listened to Circling Back and got Honey.
You set it and forget it, and then it'll remind you, like,
oh, I can save you some cash right now.
Yes.
You're trying to get, like, a new fit-off from J.Crew.
You're trying to get, like, a turtleneck sweater,
maybe some olive green chinos or something.
Like, boom, here's 30% off because, like, everything's always on sale here.
or something like boom here's 30 off because like everything's always on sale here honey has found its 10 million users over a billion dollars in savings so there's really
no reason not to use honey it's free to use and it installs on your computer just two clicks
get honey for free at join honey.com circling back again that's join honey.com circling back. Again, that's joinhoney.com slash circling back.
Hey, do we want to talk about this BuzzFeed tweet?
There's so many tweets to talk about.
There's a lot of tweets in the universe right now.
The Twitter sphere is popping.
Twitter's been good.
I don't want to dunk on them too bad.
Why?
I'll dunk on them.
I'll dunk on these dudes.
Yeah, so I don't know if you saw this,
but it looks like they're going to proceed with impeachment proceedings on the president.
I'm not here to talk about that, but what I am here to talk about is this headline.
I had peaches stuck in my head for the entire day yesterday
after the impeachment talk started getting thrown around.
Peaches come from a can.
Keep going. Well, they were put there by a man. And that come from a can. Keep going.
Well, they were put there by a man.
And that song stinks.
In a factory downtown.
Dude, I did not hate that song.
Dude, if I had my little way,
I'd eat peaches every day.
It's better than lump.
In the sunshine or in the shade.
Were you a lump guy?
I was a peaches and cream guy.
Remember that song?
See, that's the difference.
That's the difference
between you and I growing up.
You were peaches and cream.
I was peaches.
Or is that Blackstreet?
No, that's 112.
Peaches and cream. I could be wrong. Was it not Jagstreet? No, that's 112. Peaches and Cream?
I could be wrong.
Was it not Jagged Edge?
Maybe it was Jagged Edge.
You're right.
I don't know.
But I just remember the song and it kind of going.
It went.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Jagged Edge was low-key underrated.
It's 112.
I was right.
Okay.
But Jagged Edge is a good guess.
Jagged Edge.
What was their...
They had a song on TRL that was like always at number two.
Was it Meet Me at the Altar?
No,
it was,
it's definitely their most popular song ever.
Let's Get Married.
That was it.
They had Where the Party At.
Yeah.
Featuring Nelly.
That,
which by the way,
that's still,
still very,
very much goes.
I'm just putting that on repeat
for our Christmas party.
Anytime I'll call up my boys on like Friday And I don't have any plans
I always got that in the background
Just blasting?
They're like oh you want to know what's going on tonight
Like yeah
Just like dropping subliminal hints in the background
That's the point of this call
What's up man?
I went over to Dave's house one day
And he was like he just got done gardening
And he cracked a beer
And he was just doing a power hour
With only Jagged Edge where the party at
God that would be so sad.
Had the Homer Simpson,
had the Homer Simpson transitions too.
Like a burp and like,
oh, honey.
Oh my God.
I can say I've never done that.
I don't think I'll ever do.
Have I done a power hour in a long,
I feel like it's been 20 years.
I think I did one like five years ago
for 4th of July.
We were like,
dude, let's do a power hour.
I got like three beers in.
Why is the power hour so difficult?
Because you're drinking six beers in an hour.
Is that really how many it is?
Yeah.
Is it really?
Yeah.
You drink one beer every 10 minutes.
60 shots.
Yeah.
Okay.
I guess it adds up.
You guys never.
I've done it, but if you think how many beers it was.
Like a shot of beer every minute doesn't seem like very much
you don't even know
what a fucking
power hour is bro
I just
I feel like someone's
going to challenge
your calculation
I feel like it might
be less than that
that seems like a lot
that's how I played it
we always played
that you were done
when you had six beers
down in the hour
we would do power hour
but with like Jack Daniels
so we would just do
a shot every minute
wow
yeah a couple guys died
yeah I would say
that's very very dangerous
yeah we stopped playing good especially after the guys started dying you know so i don't know
if you guys saw this but hot girl summer is out impeachment fever falls in why the hell did they
write this so that's a okay i've been in on buzzfeed for a while i remember when they were
just they weren't taken seriously
and then they became somewhat reputable news.
They did the listicle stuff, but that's fine.
You got to get clicks. I get it.
I'm not going to hate. It's digital media.
But I feel like if you're a news organization,
as BuzzFeed News claims to be,
and this is one of the bigger stories of the year,
impeachment proceedings, know an inquiry you don't you leave you don't have to do like the cool as brett
might say very online title hot girl summer is out like the most forced headline i've ever heard
impeachment fever fall is in is it real why is no are they? I went back and checked because I was like, there's no way.
There's no way.
You don't have to fit Hot Girl Summer into a headline.
That's about something totally serious.
Also, Hot Girl Summer ended like a month ago.
Like, stop.
Yeah.
Like a month ago.
This is an honest question.
It's Christian Girl Autumn.
Is BuzzFeed News like a credible site at this point?
Yeah, I think they have some legit journalists there.
So they're just as likely to break a big story as CNN or MSNBC, Fox News, those.
Are they in that realm?
It's not crazy if they do.
I think they're more reactive, though.
I don't think they actually break news.
I think they more just cover big stuff.
I feel like they have, but...
Here's my issue with them.
If you go to their site right now,
it's got the first thing on there, as it should be,
is Trump impeachment proceedings.
The next one is,
these heartbreaking pictures show the reality
of climate change and inequality,
and it's just a dude in a rugby shirt.
The photo is just a dude in a rugby shirt
wearing a rubber giraffe mask.
Like, that's the next biggest story
on their site right now.
Can you give me some context on that photo?
No,
that's the thing.
I can't.
Another one on the top of this thing is just these moms are mad that Instagram
keeps deleting topless photos of their long haired sons.
And the featured image of that is just a long haired boy that just says,
dear Instagram,
I'm a boy.
I just have long hair.
Quit deleting my pictures. Put a shirt on. I mean what is he an abercrombie model that's a callback yeah he's
just he's just on a giant white horse on the beach just completely naked how was like so these moms
are pretty upset about that like of all the things going on that's what they're pretty bummed about
yeah and like now it's a thing that these kids are like holding signs that say dear instagram
i'm a boy i just have long hair quit deleting my pictures like it's like a thing now okay um
yeah i would rather them like rail against climate change or something than than this i feel like
it's this is an error on instagram's part it's probably the algorithm it's probably some
you know it's how they keep porn off of Instagram.
Yeah, it's not that big of a deal.
I had a party once, and I had a bunch of tiki torches out,
and they deleted my photo saying it was like a white nationalism rally.
I was like, no, I'm just grilling hot dogs for Wilmonds.
Chopping up pineapple.
There was a split second where I thought maybe that happened.
Wilmonds is not doing hot dogs.
Dude, yes, we are.
I feel like that's not traditional cuisine.
We put pineapple and a good chutney on there.
It's really good.
This is...
Okay.
I haven't had a hot dog in so long.
Oh, they're so good.
Dude, let's go to Wilmonds after this.
We could.
We could.
I'm a fictional establishment.
What is chutney?
It's like a...
I don't know. It's like a jam it's like a, I don't know.
It's like a jam that's got chunks in it.
A chunky jam.
I don't know.
It's a chutney.
Okay.
Or Schmidt from new girl says,
I mean,
if Wilmot's serving it up,
you'd probably know what's in it.
Yeah.
I mean,
it's just Kenny chutney over here.
It's a jam of some sort.
It's got a tiki torch in the closet.
It's a sauce or a dry base for a sauce originating
from the Indian subcontinent
used with, this is like way too, way too
You've already started, you gotta finish.
This is way too in-depth.
It's just a sauce, man.
It's just a sauce.
What kind of cuisine is it traditionally
grouped with? Drip is temporary, chutney is
forever. So if you're serving up dogs at
Wilmonds and customers are like,
hey, what's in this chutney?
You're like, it's just a sauce, man.
Yeah.
And that's how you try to sell it to them?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Who knows, dude?
I might put like a cucumber relish up on that bitch.
I'm just saying you should know since you're serving it to your people.
I'm a big fan of elevated hot dog garnishes.
Elevated hot dog garnishes.
Yeah.
What's your hot dog?
What do you put on your hot dog?
If I'm just doing...
If you're at the golf course,
and let's say they have all the options.
I'm only doing a good line of mustard.
Normal mustard.
Not like spicy.
Yellow.
Yellow, straight up Heinz mustard.
And then if they have chopped white onion,
I'm just dumping that shit all over it.
Oh, man.
That's all I need.
I do yellow mustard and sweet relish.
So good.
I'm not a relish guy.
I'll let you boy.
I'm going to get in trouble for this, but I go...
Bareback?
Yellow mustard.
And ketchup.
Yeah, I eat it with no hands.
Dave doesn't put anything on it.
He has no fun, too.
I go yellow mustard, ketchup, and relish.
And jalapenos if they're available.
Say it again.
Yellow mustard.
Uh-huh.
Ketchup.
Okay.
I use Hunt's because, you know,
Heinz is,
that's owned by John Kerry's wife.
Okay.
There are people,
never mind.
And then I go relish and then jalapeno.
I'm not going to hate on that.
That's okay.
But I feel like ketchup is controversial.
It's a little than jalapeno. I'm not going to hate on that. That's okay. But I feel like ketchup is controversial. It's a little childish, maybe.
I don't like it.
And by that, I just mean like kids, actual, you know.
If my fries are served with ketchup,
I will likely use the ketchup in some capacity,
but I don't like ketchup necessarily.
I'd rather have a different condiment.
There's so many other things.
And I got a gravy.
I got a buddy i got
a buddy who eats ketchup on pretty much everything we got gravy shamed at uh popeyes the other day
sally's like we want a big thing of gravy and the guy was like i got a whole thing we were like yeah
and he was like really and i was like don't ask don't follow up twice sir he's like it's not we
want our gravy damn okay do you guys want an update on how many beers are in a power hour?
Sure.
Okay.
A power hour is 60 1.5 shot glasses, which equals 90 ounces of beer, which is 7.5 12-ounce
cans, or 5.6 pints.
Yeah, that's more than I would have guessed.
Wow. So I guess that's why you get completely pints. Yeah, that's more than I would have guessed. Wow.
So I guess that's why you get completely annihilated.
Yeah.
Is a standard shot one and a half ounces?
Yes.
Okay.
And then a Century Club, as you know,
you've probably done them recently at the Zeta House.
It's 101.5 ounce shots,
at which point you were drinking 12 and a half,
12 ounce cans of beer.
So what he's saying is that you were doing those at the Zeta house?
Yeah.
Whenever I heard that people were doing a century club,
I'm like,
that's unnecessary.
We don't need to do a hundred shots of beer right now.
I've never heard of such a thing.
I haven't either.
It's lame.
Wow.
That's just reckless.
If you're not tired of doing a power hour by like minute 40,
then what are you still like?
You're lame.
Those boys from Oklahoma do their power hour all around.
Exactly.
Exactly. Exactly.
Why are you just looking at me like that?
Did you want to talk about Biden's son?
I feel like I've gotten too political here.
I've gotten political without actually saying anything.
Yeah, you just shit on John Kerry's wife.
No, that was a...
Do you not remember when he ran for president,
you know, Theresa Hines Kerry?
People were going out and buying the other brand of ketchup
because they realized that, like, her family owned the fortune to that.
Really sticking it to them.
Yeah.
It's just a funny thing, to me at least.
What was the other thing?
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Also, you guys seen this impeachment deal?
No, I just wanted to point out that joe biden's son
hunter uh of course his son's name is hunter yeah it's a great name um at issue here is his uh
company barisma holdings i think it's an oil and gas company that operates in ukraine it's a gas
company their logo is the bang Energy logo. It is.
I want to give a shout out to the dude on Snap who hit me up about this.
He's a private Twitter.
Otherwise, he said he would have tweeted it.
You know who you are.
But it's the Bang Energy logo.
Or what did you say when I first showed it to you?
Beats.
I defaulted to Beats by Dre.
Which also, which is like the same font, really.
Very similar.
I mean. I feel like...
They're the exact same thing.
It's just the Bang logo looks like they dumbed down the Beats logo even more to something shittier.
And then Biden's son, Hunter, took it and was like, no, let's really just botch this thing.
It doesn't seem like that hard of a thing to to come up with like a logo for an oil and
gas company using a b like no one's looking at you for your design aesthetics they're just there
do like a like a well with a cowboy hat on it or something or do big techs you got oil and gas
company that's like that's giving you a lot of license creative license to do something tight
howdy folks we're gonna practice well new sponsor alert hope you like sulfur in your water Howdy, folks. We're going to frack this well.
New sponsor alert.
Hope you like sulfur in your water.
Howdy, folks.
It's a saltwater injection well.
And it costs $2 million to drill.
Oh, man.
This is stupid.
Give your fracking takes, Dave.
I signed an NDA.
Okay.
All three of these logos are pretty much the exact same thing.
It's ridiculous.
Come on, guys.
Do something original.
I mean, I'm kind of glad that I didn't know immediately what the Bang Energy logo is.
People aren't still drinking that shit, are they?
To be fair, Barisma was founded in 2002.
I don't know how old
the logo could have been updated, of course,
but they've been around for a while.
I'm completely twisted off this blue-res bang.
Welcome to the State Fair.
Dude, I think we should go to the State Fair.
I would love to go,
but I cannot go Texas OU weekend.
Why? I've said this like three times on the fair. I would love to go, but I cannot go Texas OU weekend. Why?
I've said this like three times on the pod.
I'm out of town.
Got a boys golf trip.
Ooh.
You know what it is.
That Saturday is truly for the boys.
I got the homie that weekend.
He might love the fair.
We're hoping you wouldn't bring him.
Do you have to get a ticket for him?
That's so rude to say, Dave.
I know you're fucking around.
That's so rude. He's never going to hear this.'s so rude to say dave i know you're fucking around that's so rude he's
never gonna hear this it's home to me to be honest the homie told me after he heard that about dave's
boys trip he was like nah well he's on the trip he's oh he's my fourth you just get like a little
starter set of clubs he's just hacking at it no one told me yeah he's been working with he's got
to start telling me i don't tell you don't have to tell you everything, Dad.
Dude, he's generating
some serious club head speed.
Is he?
Yeah.
He's turning his hips more
on his downswing.
Oh, yeah.
It's really generating
a lot of power.
It's amazing.
You know, if you lift your heel
off the ground a little bit
and squish the bug,
that's how you really...
And I got sucked into a wormhole
of the...
I forgot his name.
I forgot his name.
Matthew Wolfe.
No, no, no.
He's currently the number one long driver in the world.
Long-haired kid?
Yes.
From UNT?
He rocks back and forth.
Dude, that kid's electric.
Oh, my God.
Have you seen this guy, Will?
Mm-mm.
His name is Kyle Berkshire.
Yes.
Dude, watch this guy swing a golf club.
Is he just unwailing on it?
He rocks back and forth, and his feet come off the ground
and then he starts to swing.
It is violent.
Why is he doing that?
He's not a big dude, man.
To hit the ball far.
It's a long drive.
It actually reminds me of a PFT commenter, the way he looks a little bit.
Because of the long hair?
He's a stocky dude, not very big.
Yeah, he played at University of North Texas, the Mean Green.
He was actually on the team there.
Oh, really?
And I think he quit to do long drive, which is probably a good move.
Like, man, you're not that great, but you can hit the fuck out of the ball.
Yeah, he absolutely goes up there and pisses on it.
He does.
That's the cool thing about
long drive competitions you pull pipe every shot oh yeah that's all you do that's the only thing
you can do oh great so i'm so psyched right now that the uh this is p that's pft commenter weird
yeah um yeah right i'm really psyched that the video that i clicked on is just brandel
shambly breaking it down i'm sure he's got really awesome takes on this swing you gotta go to his
instagram account he just has has video one after another.
Oh, he steps
fully up. Yeah.
Dude, that's tight. Good for him.
My swing doesn't look anything like that.
Nah.
Who would have thought?
So the homie, his club head speed
is similar to this guy's?
No, he's flirting with 100, though.
I don't remember what mine even was.
I think I was at like...
You were 78.
No, I was not at 78.
I think I maxed out at like 112, but I was averaging about like 108.
That's not bad.
No, my swing speed...
112 is tour average.
My swing speed is not bad.
112 is tour average.
I could be wrong about that. I might be making it up. But my swing speed is not bad. 112 is tour average. I could be wrong about that.
I might be making it up.
But my swing speed is not bad.
It's just,
but I have to lay off now.
I've been swinging too hard
at this new equipment.
You're coming out of your shoes, man.
I don't need to swing that hard.
Let the equipment do the work.
It's really some amazing stuff.
Anything else?
Any other political talk that you want david how did we get here
bang energy i don't know no that was it i just wanted to point that out do you want to tell us
about your experience at the climate change march i did not go to that
where was that it was everywhere dude come on dude change the climate once
one time it's not that hard you know i of anybody in this room i am the most devoted to our green
initiative are you yes my carbon footprint is so much smaller than y'all's no way dude
mine's way smaller no you don't you're huge dude you travel every weekend on a on a jet
why is mine i took a sailboat to laguna beach thank you very little your carbon footprint sucks
explain it's absolute trash it's so huge i mean i drive a car when we go to matzah rancho dylan
orders tacos all carbon so stupid what That's what you order.
I don't.
I don't.
I don't have a big footprint, you jerks.
I was actually, I was jogging here today.
Dylan drove by me in his truck and rolled coal on me.
Dude, his car's running outside right now.
I don't want it to get warm, man.
I like to get in a cool car.
They call him the Idolmeister.
I was jogging here this
morning come on dave you know i jog no i don't i don't i'm doing meatless monday now are you
yeah it's a monday without meat there's no way you would ever do meatless monday it would be
impossible that's where i know you're lying that's that tweet that like I don't think that there's, I genuinely don't think there's been a day
in my life since I was a small child that I have not eaten some form of meat.
I've definitely had vegetarian days.
That makes sense.
Not like intentional,
but just kind of like,
Oh,
I mean,
it does kind of make sense.
Brett liked that one bagel for the morning salad in the afternoon dinner.
Who knows?
You never know.
Why are you looking at me?
I don't know.
I thought you had something.
I have nothing.
No, yeah, I'm a meat.
What do you do to stay green, Dylan?
Look, I'm not really proactive in the whole green initiative thing.
Why not?
But I'm not like...
12 years is not bad.
I mean, I recycle, but I do eat meat.
Do you reduce? Do you reuse? Yeah, I recycle, but I do eat meat. Do you reduce?
Do you reuse?
Yeah.
I reuse my grocery bags.
Do you?
I do.
I take them to H-E-B with me.
Wow.
Usually go once a week, load up, take my bags with me.
That's awesome.
I recycle.
You just said that one.
Yeah, but I do.
Dude, you can't.
Yeah, we get it.
You recycle.
Yeah, you can't double back.
The point being, I do the normal stuff that you're supposed to do, I think.
I try to go a little bit beyond.
My car is not very fuel efficient, I will have to say.
Yeah, it's an F450.
Extended cab.
Lifted.
No, it's not.
With the rims poking out.
Yeah.
You took the muffler out just so people could hear you coming down the street.
That's really bad.
Why do Flowmasters, mufflers, and glass packs come up once every six months on this podcast?
I don't know.
My first car had glass packs on it.
I don't even know what the fuck that is.
Flowmasters, basically, the loud exhaust on a truck.
It's a Flex.
You're just listening to Jagged Edge
with your Flowmaster.
96 Silverado.
Probably, actually.
On 33s.
Jacked up a little bit.
Z71, of course.
Are you serious?
Glassbacks.
That was my first car.
Yeah.
It was so tight.
So tight.
Wow.
High school you was just...
That's how I know you were a bully.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I'm not proud of it but no i wasn't i wasn't really bullied i was just kind of a dickhead
to some people that's a bully you were a bully you don't have to bully like the like 50 people
like all it takes is one person that you're mean to and that's kind of considered bull it's like i
just i like it wasn't like i picked on the same people every day as part of like a oh that was nice you just wasn't a bully campaign but if i saw an opportunity to make fun
of somebody like i would take it yeah yeah like i'm not proud of it i said i'm not either like
i didn't like you're the type of guy that would walk up to like a hacky sack circle and just grab
someone's hacky sack and just throw it really far just put it on top of the roof of the school
you guys i bet you could throw a hacky sack pretty far oh yeah really far. Just punt it on top of the roof of the school? Yeah, just like, fuck you guys. I bet you could throw a hacky sack pretty far.
Oh, yeah.
You probably could.
Oh, fuck yeah.
Not the one with all the...
But you got to take all the beans out of it
in order to make sure it's like a good hacky sack.
You could throw a full one really far.
Oh, yeah.
A brand new one.
Oh, yeah.
There's always one guy in the crew
that had a good-ass hacky sack.
I'd throw it over the whole school.
Get out of here.
No, you couldn't.
Bullshit.
What, Dave?
Say it, bitch.
Nothing, man.
I just said it.
Say it, bitch.
I think you need to do more.
Do more.
The green initiative or the bully thing?
No, less bully.
Well, actually, more bully.
I don't bully anymore.
But more climate change initiative.
Okay, what should I do?
What do you do?
I trim the little, the, when I get like soda pop or like something that has like the.
Dairy pop.
I trim, I cut them so turtles don't like get caught in them and shit.
You're drinking a lot of soda pop these days.
Zevia.
Oh, okay.
So they don't get their heads stuck.
I cut those.
You have to cut those, right?
There should be an easier way to cut them, by the way.
I rip them.
It's a little bit of a pain in the ass.
I rip them.
Do you ever get worried?
So now you're a big microbrewery guy.
We know that, Dylan.
Sure.
Do you ever get worried with the plastic ones that you're going to rip too hard?
Okay.
Are those recyclable?
Yeah, they are.
Yeah.
Those are so hard to get off, man.
What's the deal?
They need to chill with that shit.
What's the deal with those?
You're talking about the ones where you have to like pull it out.
Yeah.
You got to like really yank on those things, man.
Yeah.
They're more annoying than anything.
And I don't feel like they're better for the environment.
They're still plastic.
They're just harder plastic. And I can't cut it up.
It seems like it's actually more plastic material
than the other ones would be.
What the fuck?
Why do you got to yank on it so hard?
It's really hard sometimes.
I'm not down with it.
Because I'm a big guy.
I don't like putting the full 12-pack of something in my fridge.
You like to take them out.
You got to take them out,
and you got to immediately recycle that cardboard. I like having Lucy's around my fridge. You like to take them out. You got to take them out. And you got to immediately recycle that cardboard.
I like having Lucy's around my fridge.
Yeah.
Like on different shelves.
Like a look down.
Like there's other cigarettes and stuff.
There's a Waterloo.
There's a.
You call it Lucy's?
Yeah, a little Lucy.
Okay.
Isn't that just single cigarette?
That was on that Chappelle show when they were just like.
That's like, yeah, single cigarette Lucy.
Yeah.
I took that and i applied it to beer
no one can see what we just did it's kind of a dab no one's dabbing anymore will will has the
best dab i've ever seen thank you thank you so much swagger on that dab i know i don't dab as
much as i used to but so everybody go check out Kyle Berkshire, the long drive champion.
It's at Forest Fog.
Exactly.
It's truly a sight to behold.
I love him because when he goes to these long drive competitions,
he's always just hitting drivers, always pulling pipe, you know?
Yeah, I think most people do hit driver in these long drive competitions.
You don't think some guys go 3-wood for a little bit more accuracy?
What's a standard length of a driver?
69 inches.
So stupid. That's way too long and this guy's got some do you know what's good for my dab right now
uh lily and the rest of the uh junk family has been put on the big screen at the texas games a lot lately i really thought you were about to jump into an ad read No And I was like what sponsor is good for your dab lately
No
And so I think this is good
I've always wanted to get on the big screen at the UT
And just hit the dab real quick
And they've been getting on like every game
I saw McConaughey was on one
At the Pokes game
There are people
Yeah the camera tends to find that guy
Is he gonna
Is it because he's a hot movie star
Yes
Yeah
Is he going to co-host the mail-in
like other people on the Megatron?
That'd be tight
if you got McConaughey for an episode.
It won't hurt to ask.
Yeah.
Maybe we can get Brett on that.
You should just reply to the email
that you sent to his foundation
years ago, Dave.
Yeah, they ghosted me.
Or just didn't see it.
Could you see if they read it?
No, I didn't have that little tracer on
there yet why don't we would love to have them instead of doing an old sponsor let's just let's
read some reviews and they get into the sponsor and they get into this weekend of fun how's that
we're gonna read some reviews want to read some reviews podcast for this very podcast
um we haven't really been getting that many reviews lately guys i see this is an issue it's
not an issue it's not our fault well we don't ask for them we don't really ask for them that's on us
um to anyone out there like please we review honestly like maybe i don't want this because
the first one's not really like that great for me it just says what's up with will five stars
so thank you says why does will feel the need to critique every minuscule thing in his life that's true and then he follows up with rough is a dallas legend
okay we're doing rough now say anything about me about your boy no the next one does say what
the next one does say what's your deal doran by user venmo Oh. Hey, shout out to the dude I saw at the gas station
on Saturday or Sunday.
I was picking up a sixer, I think.
Maybe it was Sunday or Saturday.
Picking up a sixer.
No, I legit was buying a sixer
of some Four Corners.
Shout out Dallas.
And he goes,
Hey, man.
I was like, what's up?
He's like a big fan of the Paw.
I was like, hey, oh, cool.
Thanks.
He goes, what's the question?
He goes, what the fuck's question he goes fuck's
dorns deal yeah that's a good question so i had a funny situation when we were flying back from
laguna beach i had a more prioritized uh seating number than sally did and so i was saving the seat
for her on the plane as you do and this guy walks up and he had seen me and he walks up and he
pretends that he's going to sit
down in the seat that i'm clearly saving for sally and i was like no man my fiance's coming up blah
blah blah and he was like dude i'm fucking with you and he pounded me and he's like love the pod
i was like yeah right like yes dude thank you i was like that that was a good gas that's a good
one good work on that's a good one that he dm'd me as well and said like oh you didn't upgrade
sally to early bird uh check-in huh wow i was like damn where are you right now it's like a head on a fucking swivel love that he's tight though uh
pope benedict uh left a review which is big i didn't know he was a listener i did not know we
had listeners like that wow uh it's kind of a somber review it says kind of missed the touching
bass theme really he was a big shooter mcgavin guy i
guess the call was about business assistant to the man said this pod slaps always keeps me coming
what back for more it said dave optimization specialist fair true texas high school football
booster are you a booster i'm. And a meat smoker.
All are true.
Says for Dylan, his description of you is Native American.
Okay.
Okay.
Sure.
Dope dad.
All right.
Thank you.
Wow.
That's nice.
Lover of all things Greek life.
That's not necessarily true, but other ones I'll take.
No, you were pretty into it back in the day.
A couple weeks ago.
I've been to Greece and I had a great time there.
Yeah.
That's probably what he's talking about. Yeah. you're a big fan of greek when i vacationed
in santorini mykonos no santorini crystal ball that for me he said hates the state of texas
peak millennial scum great at not introducing fellow hosts i feel like i'm really good at
introducing dave dave usually gets introed within five seconds of me talking. Yeah.
What else do you have to say about
that on that subject?
Anyone else that you're maybe forgetting
or not good at introing
or anything like that? No, I think I'm good.
Okay.
NewlyTouched said,
truly the best pot out there.
He said, I can't believe I used the word truly
in my title, but White Claw, the best pot out there, doesn said, I can't believe I used the word truly in my title, but White Claw,
the best pot out there,
doesn't really roll off the tongue.
See what he did there?
I truly see what he did.
Very clever.
You guys know I tried truly's for the first time.
I did,
and I didn't.
You didn't share that with us.
I haven't had a claw in a minute.
Big fan of truly's.
They taste good.
Really?
Tried ordering a White Claw at the pool the other day.
They didn't have any.
I saw a Truly commercial a couple days ago.
I can't remember.
They have a pitch, man.
Yeah, I saw it too.
Who is it?
I can't remember who it is.
I'm going to look this up.
This is going to bother me.
What else you got, Will?
This one just shits on us.
Okay, read it, man.
It just says awesome, all lowercase.
But then the description just says,
three white guys from Austin talk about stuff they watch on TV
in local places they frequent in town
is the most creative, relatable content on the internet.
I feel like there's some shade there.
I don't think so.
I don't think he's saying we take pretty mundane
and localized content and get creative with it.
Should we do one more just so we can confirm or deny whether or not this is true?
Okay.
This is for you, Dave.
Oh, no.
This guy says his name is My Dude, and he says, The Dave Podcast.
This isn't Raptor, is it?
No, I don't think it's Raptor.
Oh, what happened to Raptor?
I don't want to know.
My dudes.
Yeah.
I'm still not sure.
Raptor could have called us from a Colombian coke den being held hostage.
Raptor, if you're alive, we want to hear from you to confirm.
My dudes.
It's Raptor.
It says, the Dave podcast.
The other two aren't real.
It's just Dave talking to himself in a room and doing different bits that he named Will and Dylan.
Can you confirm or deny this?
That would be quite the accomplishment.
Well, why do people think we don't do video content?
That's fair.
Do you know how exhausting that would be?
Quite.
Hey, the answer to my Truly question,
it's Key from Key & Peele.
Keegan-Michael Key.
Oh, that's right.
Which I thought was kind of random.
So in the, not to compare
the two, Key and Peele, but
Peele won an Oscar.
Right? I don't even know which is which, honestly.
Okay. Well.
He did like Get Out.
Right. Other ones.
Just
and now Keegan-Michael Key is
doing Truly commercials. Which I'm sure
he got paid for. And I'm sure he's still doing creative stuff.
I hope he is, because, I mean, you know, great show.
He's in Friends from College.
Is that right? Okay.
Have you watched that?
I've watched a few.
I know Alyssa has.
I've watched a few with her.
It's not the best show, but I like it.
I like it.
It's an entertaining show.
It's a little too relatable sometimes.
I'm like, oh, this is depressing because it's too relatable,
which is my favorite kind. That's a little too relatable sometimes. I'm like, oh, this is depressing because it's too relatable,
which is my favorite kind.
That's all we got for reviews.
Guys, leave some good ones.
Leave some good ones.
We might read them.
Yeah.
Five stars only, please.
Yeah, we prefer to only have five star reviews.
I don't think that's crazy
to ask for.
If you have like,
if you have a lower review,
just email it to us and just let us know,
and then we'll try to fix it,
and then you can leave a five-star review once we fix it.
Does that work?
You know what?
I give a five-star review.
Indochino suits.
Of course, man.
Indochino is founded on the belief that you don't need to spend a fortune
on a custom wardrobe.
I mean, Dylan, you've gone in and actually gotten fitted.
You've had this happen to you.
You know, they took great care of me me they measured pretty much everywhere on me yeah yeah that's uh let me rephrase that you've seen that friends episode they measured they've
measured me fully for a suit okay okay um and it was a great experience and now anytime i want to
order a shirt or a suit, pants, whatever,
I just go to the website.
I have all my measurements stored on my account already.
Boom.
Boom.
It's the world's largest made-to-measure menswear brand
that makes suits, shirts, coats, and more,
and everything is made to your exact measurements for a great fit.
You get to personalize all the details,
including your lapel, lining, and your own monogram.
They have hundreds of suits options for all occasions,
including work, formal events, even your own wedding.
Man, did they do the monogram inside your coat?
That's swag.
Oh, my God.
That's swag.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Monograms that people can't see without you showing them
is the ultimate flex because it's like,
yeah, I spent money on this, but it's only for me.
It's like Dylan's ass tattoo.
That is his monogram. It's just for me. The's like Dylan's ass tattoo. That is his monogram.
It's just for me.
The best part about these guys?
And for you, Dave.
They're affordable.
Almost all their custom clothing is under $400.
That's a great deal for the quality you're getting.
The process is simple.
You choose your fabric, pick your customizations,
and submit your measurements.
Your package will be delivered straight to your door in two weeks.
You can also get measured and design your suit at the nearest indochino showroom
or you can do it all yourself at indochino.com luckily you can start your style upgrade with
30 off your total purchase of 399 or more at indochino.com when entering steam at checkout
plus shipping is free that's indochino.com, promo code STEAM for $30 off your total purchase of $399 or more.
An incredible deal for made-to-measure clothing.
You really have no excuse to not wear clothing that doesn't fit.
True.
Think about that.
I'm always telling Dylan that.
Mm-hmm.
Should we do this weekend of fun?
Let's do it.
You ready, Dylan?
Yeah, I will start.
Jesus. What's that cough? I'm just clearing the field cap. You've been jew him. Yeah, I will start. Jesus.
What's that cough?
I'm just clearing the field.
You've been drooling a lot lately since you heard that they were getting bit.
I can't stop.
So we talked about this before the pod.
I've been going through like six pods a day.
So if I...
I'm going to pull back the curtain here.
I have a vape pen.
And I like to get CBD.
You're smoking marijuana.
Through that.
Am I okay?
I have no idea. Where you i think i think the
issue i got it from a legit store i think that okay which not from like i didn't get it from
like a a homemade thing i don't think see that's that's where things are getting dicey from my
understanding damn it the things that are dicey are things that don't come from like actual CBD,
like stores,
dispensaries,
whatever.
And so that's where it gets weird.
You want to know what's weird?
I was at the mall the other day.
I saw a CBD kiosk.
I need to tweet that photo.
I forgot.
I took a pic of it.
Do you get a selfie off with it? I remember seeing it and being like,
dude,
don't ruin CB.
Don't like dude.
Kiosks ruin everything. CB. do people need to be worried that like they're gonna try to shut down cbd or like
they probably will because like all the go to a gas station or at the checkout there's like all
these like hemp oil cbd and i don't think they're real i don't i just assume because they're at a
gas station they're not real well i've got to go to early bird and get your get get it from a verified trusted source early bird cbd that wasn't even supposed to be an ad but to be clear
with the vape pen i'm probably not going to re-up on it because i i get more benefit from the
tincture interesting tincture is better for me interesting although vaping is tight vaping
that's randy it's an undeniable thing randy gets so weirded out when i toss clouds
he like he like you know he starts to sniff and he probably wants some dude Randy. It's an undeniable thing. Randy gets so weirded out when I toss clouds. He like,
he like,
you know,
he starts to sniff and he probably wants some dude.
Yeah.
But let him hit it.
It's too young.
When I see Dylan smoking heaters at the bar,
I'm like,
dude,
give me some of that.
I don't do that anymore.
Stop.
You don't.
No,
I don't know.
To be fair,
I haven't seen you do it in a really,
really long time. We'll see on Thursday,
I guess.
Yeah.
Speaking of Thursday,
this weekend in fun, it's not technically the weekend but we do have a little
happy hour situation tomorrow are you gonna email ro back on thursday morning and wish him a happy
weekend again i might um yes we got a happy hour probably gonna parlay that into a dinner maybe
some beers somewhere afterward right guys yeah we'll see, man. Totally, dude. Nice.
Good to have you all on board.
I can't wait.
Friday, I have absolutely nothing.
I'm wide open.
Maybe even do another dinner.
Who knows?
Might get crazy with it.
I mean, Brett's first full week here,
so I got to show him around. Brett's probably got plans.
Well, maybe he can hop on the mic
and tell us about it.
Saturday morning, the homie and I
will be departing.
We're going to the ranch.
Got the whole squad out there, I think. i think both my sisters will be out there stepbrother of course
my mom and stepdad will be out there uh it's gonna be a great time we have a brand new baby
horse out there too another one quail or anything like what's the deal um what's on the menu this
week and blake's always got something bomb cooking i don't know what it's gonna be but it'll it'll
it'll be your stepdad named blake yeah okay balake it's all i'm always smiling because like it's a young man's name to me
yeah so like having a yeah like a it's just not what i expected man dude can cook yeah i'm excited
man yeah dude it's only like we knew look i'm gonna get it job look you don't want to go now
we got to go when the weather's cool so we can actually enjoy the property and get out and go shoot guns and shit like that.
Right now, you just got to hang out by the house because you don't want to be outside for too long.
I'll take you all out there.
Don't worry.
I heard Will has trash firearm.
Keep your pants on.
He does.
He pointed the gun at me like four times.
I was like, dude, put the—
Well, Dylan didn't teach me anything, and that's like half the battle.
So, like, I had the handgun, and I walked up to, like the the four-wheeler that we had and i just tossed it in
there and dylan's like dude what are you doing what when he was shooting he was holding it sideways
it's almost i was so sideways it was almost upside down yeah it was in one hand on it it was like
dude what are you doing you watch too many movies it was crazy i also like just grabbed my junk while
i was doing it too didn't you look down the barrel like, what's going on with this, man?
Yeah.
Why didn't it shoot?
I was like, is it stuck?
We'll get out there, guys.
Don't worry.
All right, Dave, what are you doing this weekend, bitch?
I don't really know.
Thursday, I got that deal.
Friday, I'm going to play some golf.
I've been wanting to go play Plum Creek.
Let's go.
I've been wanting to go play Plum.
I've been told it's in great shape.
It's a course I haven't played since college.
That was like...
We're going.
You want to go?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm in.
Okay.
Friday?
Yeah.
Okay.
Man, it's been so long since I...
Dylan's going to back out.
I'm so...
Oh, fuck no.
I'm in, Dave.
100%.
Dylan's backing out.
Dave, look at me.
I'm fucking in, bitch.
Because I have to...
Here's why I think Friday is a good golf day.
Because of what's going to happen Thursday night,
I'm probably not going to want to go to the gym Friday morning.
But golf is in the cards.
I'm so fucking in.
It's unbelievable.
Okay.
We'll see about it.
Okay.
And then,
I don't even,
I haven't even looked at the slate of games.
I'm assuming there's some,
I know Baylor's got Iowa State.
Texas has a bye week.
Okay.
They need it.
They're fucking banged up.
You're telling me.
You want to just go through all the games?
Yeah.
Yeah, let's pick the games.
Let's do our weekly pick-em.
No, that's pretty much all I got.
I have to stop watching.
I have to get out and go watch games, though,
because I've done, like, two weekends in a row
of not leaving my couch from, like, Saturday through Sunday night.
Dude, it fucks my back up.
I feel like Dylan.
Like, I get tight, and I wake up Monday morning.
I feel worse when I sit, like, if I go to a bar.
I feel worse when I sit in, like, a really uncomfortable bar seat.
Have you noticed that I stand at bars often?
I think that's the move.
I'm a stander.
I get really uncomfortable if I sit at a picnic table watching a four-hour game.
It fucks up my back a little bit.
Yeah.
I'm not crying about it like Dylan is, but it kind of hurts.
I did some yoga stretching last night with the crew.
Wow.
For the first time.
By yourself, or did you pop on a YouTube video?
I popped on a YouTube video, yeah,
that Lauren actually sent it to me.
Who was it?
Was it Adrian?
What's the guy's name?
He was pretty corny.
He was outside in the woods,
and he was making Seinfeld references.
It was pretty funny, actually.
But, yeah.
I don't want Seinfeld references during my yoga stretches.
Sorry.
I think that's unnecessary.
He said, it's gold, Jerry, gold.
I was like, what?
Oh, dude, sick reference.
Come on, dog.
Yeah, dude, that's a really good one.
Y'all don't know that?
He's like, ha-ha.
Yeah, we're familiar with it.
No stretch for you.
Shut the fuck up.
What's a deal with a dog?
I was doing Banya.
It's not even a dog.
Kenny Banya.
Child's pose.
All right.
Ooh, we got Tech Oklahoma.
I'm sorry.
I am looking at the slate of games.
Nothing's really jumping out at me.
But, you know, sometimes that's when the best games happen.
Ooh, Clemson, UNC, Mack Brown.
He's going to get smoked.
Yes, he is.
Probably.
Clemson seems good.
USC, Washington.
That's okay.
I could really go through all of the games,
but why don't you just tell us?
I'm a big Huskies guy.
Save the people from me.
Well, yeah, like I said, Thursdays are for the boys.
And so Friday, I got nothing.
When did you ever say that?
Like we said.
Yeah, Friday, I don't know.
I mean, I might be down to play some golf.
Why wouldn't you?
You're definitely not playing. I might I mean, I might be down to play some golf. Why wouldn't you? You're definitely not playing.
I might be down.
I might be down.
And then Saturday, yeah, I don't really know.
It's my first weekend where I don't have something, like,
aggressive in front of me.
No wedding, no bachelor party.
Like, UTLSU game was the weekend before.
It's just been, like, a long ringer.
So I'm kind of trying to like, you know,
enjoy myself,
keep it chill,
maybe get a lunch off.
You're going to eat lunch.
Then I have to go to,
I have to go to,
I have to go to a wedding shower on Saturday night.
Where's it at?
Fucking Georgetown.
It's like an hour away.
Yeah.
So,
I mean,
like I'm not psyched about driving an hour to go into that and like doing it,
but you know, like I'm kind of marrying into the family, so I guess I have to do it.
And I hope they don't hear this.
Yeah, Lily, if you hear this, like, I mean, Lily, if you're listening, I'm sorry.
Hey, my buddy who's a State Farm agent, he just followed me on Twitter.
I guess he just hopped on.
And it's just, I'm not going to add him.
Is his name Jake?
No, but it's just funny.
It's like a, it's very buttoned up.
I don't know why he's delving into Twitter.
Yeah, it doesn't seem like the move at that point.
Shout out to Adam, though.
You know what I'm doing Sunday?
Get a lunch off?
I don't know.
I'm hoping.
I don't know.
I don't know what the slate of games looks like for NFL.
I'm hoping that the Lions can get a nationally televised one
since they're playing the Chiefs.
It seems like a game that they would want on TV.
Cowboys are Sunday night.
Okay.
That's good news.
That's good.
I mean, that's exciting.
Two.
Are the Chiefs undefeated?
Yes.
Okay.
So, yeah.
Two undefeated teams.
They got to put that on Natty TV, right?
Natty.
Sure.
I don't know.
Fuck.
The Texans play, though, at noon on Sunday, too.
Fuck them.
I hate these local teams, especially the Texans. At least the Cowboys are, like, good and entertaining. The Texans, I just don't want. Fuck. The Texans play, though, at noon on Sunday, too. Fuck them. I hate these local teams, especially the Texans.
At least the Cowboys are, like, good and entertaining.
The Texans, I just don't want to watch that.
Texans are so lame.
Yeah.
Get out of here.
Whatever.
They're going to get Deshaun Watson just straight up destroyed.
Yeah.
You know me with quarterbacks.
I don't like when my quarterback takes too much contact.
Oh, I know.
That's why you're not a fan of how much contact Ellingllinger takes uh yeah well wait who do the texans play uh because it might be a cbs game because chiefs
lions is on fox at noon oh they play panthers okay it says fox fuck yeah dude i that's the
worst part that's like the worst part about not having a local sports
you know i've got i can show you the bootleg stream it's actually pretty decent i do it
through reddit and it's usually pretty good but i just hate setting up like i don't like having
to like get a cord shout out buff streams yeah yes yeah yeah i hate having to get the cord plug
it into my laptop plug it into my laptop, plug it into my TV,
and then full screen it.
It just stinks.
How much is a Sunday ticket?
I don't know.
I think it's like $400.
This is the first year that I haven't had someone approach me and be like,
you want to split it?
If someone gives you login, can you use their Sunday ticket?
It's dicey.
A lot of times it doesn't work if you have two people going at once.
So you have to be careful.
I started getting pissed because the guy who signed up for it,
he was kind of the alpha, and he was watching all his games,
and I couldn't watch mine.
And I was like, why did I pay you for this?
I just reduced your Sunday ticket price.
Yeah.
Bastard.
I don't know.
There are people wondering if I'm going to go to the Lions game late October up in Detroit.
We'll see.
You should go.
We'll see.
You guys want to come?
People are wondering that?
Yeah.
We could go to the Cowboys game up there.
Let's go.
Say I won't.
Say I won't go.
Douchebag bar crawl Detroit?
Let's do it.
Is there a bottle of blonde up there?
I don't know.
Maybe.
We'll find out.
Should we get out of here?
Can we get some love to Robeck first?
Oh, we can give some love to Robeck. Just for quick.
I mean, to be fair, if we golf on Friday,
we're all going to be decked out in it. Well, obviously.
That's what we do.
QZ season's coming up. They have the best in the game.
Some places QZ season's already here.
That's true. I'm sorry. QZ season is here. Don't be fucking stupid, Dylan. You got's coming up. They have the best in the game. Some places QZ season's already here. That's true. I'm sorry.
QZ season is here. Don't be fucking stupid, Dylan.
You got to load up.
Man, their performance tees, they're incredible.
The hats, best fitting hat in the game.
Randy 20.
By the way, you put the, in the description,
you put the code wrong recently.
Oh, did I?
You put Randy without the 20.
Dude, I'm sorry.
That's on me.
Some dude emailed me about it. That's on me.. Dude, I'm sorry. That's on me. Some dude emailed me
about it.
That's on me.
He was all butthurt.
That's on me.
Randy 20 will get you
20% off at
roback.com.
R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.
Load up.
You want to hear
a recent review
of one of their
pullovers called
The Foghorn?
Obviously.
It says,
Q-Zip season has arrived.
Love the material of this Q zip.
Lightweight performance material.
Great for the course tailgating or casual wear.
You love to see that.
That's all you need.
If he used,
if he used quarter zip season,
he's probably a listener.
He's I hope so.
Shouts to that.
I think if you,
if you leave a review of a row back product on row back,
I think we need like a call sign.
Just like a subtle subtle like I'm a
backer just so we
know okay just put
just put your backer
should we get out of
here we should bye you