Circling Back - Cat's Buttholes & Bit Madness, Round III
Episode Date: March 18, 2020Apparently there's a version of 'Cats' out there where all the characters have very defined cat buttholes, a brief sports minute, and the round of 16 of Bit Madness. We also ambush Fulton Oil & Gas wi...th a phone call to close everything out and do This Weekend in Quarantine. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (7:52) Release The 'Cats' Buttholes (21:30) Sports Minute (29:19) Bit Madness, Round III (58:50) This Weekend in Quarantine (1:03:45) We Call Fulton Oil & Gas Quip: www.getquip.com/circlingback (FREE refill pack) Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (ROSIE20 for 20% off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge my name is
will defreeze am i right dave ruff feels like it's gonna be a good one dude i woke up feeling
dangerous did you, not really.
Dude, are you going to tell people what you're contemplating?
What am I contemplating?
What you texted us yesterday.
I've texted a lot, David.
Yeah, what is this about?
It has to do with your face.
No, I'm not, dude.
I'm not contemplating that.
Did you trim it?
No.
I'm not.
So yesterday, I'm worried about my beard.
I still don't understand why you can't trim it yourself.
I can.
It will just not look as good.
And so I'm just a little worried.
Do you want me to do it for you?
No.
I have a good trimmer at home, but I'm just worried that, like,
should this continue for, you know, weeks on end,
my every two weeks beard trim is going to obviously go away you
gotta ask that i'm gonna look like like tom hanks and mountain man whatever that is yeah i'm bad
bad comparison yeah it's not the good comparison i'm sorry yeah i'm gonna look like a like just
terrible i'm more i'm honestly more worried about my actual hair, though. I'm trying to look more like Chet. Are you going to get sleep tats?
Dude, he's like full torso tat.
Yeah.
Yo, this is crazy right now.
He had a pop top for that video, didn't he?
That's so Chet.
Dude, his name is Chet.
Chet Hanks.
Weird that Tom Hanks would name his son Chet.
I don't know why, but just...
Anyway.
You need to learn how to trim it yourself, I think.
Yes, I do.
I know how to trim it myself.
I will say this.
I'm not going to shave it because I'm scared of what's underneath,
meaning my face.
Like, I haven't seen my chin or jawline in literal years,
and so I'm not really into starting that now.
I still have that photo in my favorites of you popping up from the lake water freshly shaven oh yeah baby i'll be using
if you do decide to shave i will be using that i was a clean 170 in that pic when when we first
met you you were clean shaven you did not have a beard yeah you grew up pretty quickly um
you shaved it a couple times since and it is shocking each time you do.
I grew it.
Pisses me off.
I grew it in Michigan for the ski season
because it's a built-in neck warmer, face warmer,
whatever you want to call it.
And then once I moved down here, I was like,
well, it's Texas, it's hot, I'm going to shave it.
And then I started putting on weight as I moved to Texas
because every meal that you guys eat down here is just fucking huge.
Yeah.
They say everything's bigger in Texas.
I think they're right.
Portion sizes included.
So once I started putting on weight, I was like, all right,
this jawline's getting out of control.
The thickness of my beard is probably like a two.
Yours is probably a nine.
And even me, like I'm afraid to see what's underneath what I have going on.
probably a nine and even me like i'm afraid to see what's underneath what i have going on you your beard makes you look older but not in like an old person way okay but now when i see photos
of you without your beard i'm like what is 28 year old dylan doing like i haven't known him for that
long yeah people used to say that i had a i was young looking i'm not trying to brag here but
they just did before my before my shitty beard came, I don't get those comments anymore at all.
So I know what you mean.
I do look older.
It's probably as jarring as it is for you guys to see a photo of me without a beard.
Yeah, I don't know.
There's a lot of things I haven't thought about.
Personal grooming.
Like, random stuff that I need in my apartment that I haven't ordered yet
that I would have never thought to order but is kind of a nice to have.
I don't know.
It's all becoming a little more real now that I'm like, oh, shit.
Yeah, more of those will come up as we get further into this thing.
I'm still hopeful it's going to be a month, month and a half.
But I don't know.
We'll see.
We'll see. It sucks. I'm a long distance runner now how long is your distance oh very long like we're looking at three and a half miles
i ran yesterday too man quit trying to jack my shit i'm just saying like this fucker this he
thinks just because i'm running he can run too it's just like why don't you just find your own
slant dave's the only one in austin that's running right now i just saw a dude run by literally uh i honestly about i've done every
other month i almost buy a bike and then i'm like man i don't know if that's the right bike
and now i'm really wishing i had just pulled trigger on like an actual bike because i would
love to be out riding bikes right now can i admit? I have not ridden the Peloton since we've been self-quarantining.
Will?
Why?
Laziness.
It's right there.
I know.
No, I know.
Dude, Salgal's been tearing it up, though.
Yeah, she mashed one yesterday.
I'll do it today.
I'm going to do a long one today.
I just honestly, like,
I've just been kind of feeling generally icky.
Just this, like, overall angst kind of thing.
You know why?
It's because you were feeling the benefits of the bike,
and then you stopped doing it.
Yeah.
Once you go a few days, like, from a workout routine,
you feel it everywhere.
Yeah.
You just don't feel as good.
I look like dog shit right now.
That's great.
I don't want to say anything, but you look handsome still.
I look like dog shit.
No.
No, I'm going to start hitting it, though.
I'm going to do those country rides.
Dude, hammer that country ride.
Yeah.
I'm not even doing classes anymore.
Instructors are for people that can't just motivate themselves.
I'm only doing country rides.
Country rides take Wilhelm.
There you go.
There you go.
To the place.
Hey, we have a big announcement.
It's a Peloton. We're going to be live streaming tonight. Dylan, you like that. It go. To the place. Hey, we have a big announcement. It's a Peloton.
We're going to be live streaming tonight.
Dylan, you like that.
It worked.
I brought it back together.
That was good.
Groves Apartments.
Where is Micah?
He's downstairs.
Quarantined.
Playing with Charlie.
I think Micah does not want to be around me at all.
Action.
I keep reaching out to Micah being like
How's it going down there?
And like they are silent down there
I'm pretty sure they're just avoiding Sally and I at all costs
Even though they can kind of tell
Like we want to be like
Hey
Like want to go out to the dog park
And stand six feet away from each other?
Man they're planning a wedding during all this too
Yeah luckily
Luckily their wedding's this fall
Not this summer
Should not be affected
So hopefully it's not affected, yeah.
Yeah, shouts to me for getting married early.
Yeah, big shouts to you.
Oh, my God.
Like, if I had Sally trying to replant a wedding during this, like...
Well, the original date was August, so it probably will be okay by August.
Yeah, but she'd be taking every...
Like, she's such a type A, like whatever.
I would probably have to go sleep in like one of your guys' extra bedrooms or something.
I'd be sleeping under Dave's desk like Costanza.
I'm sorry, man.
We're not taking visitors right now.
That's understandable.
That's understandable.
Hey, we're live streaming tonight.
We're going to be coming to you live tonight.
Patreon Weird Streamathon.
It's our unofficial video kickoff.
Yes.
If you go to patreon.com, there will be information about it there.
Right now, we're slated to record around 745, 750 Central Standard Time.
I think there might be some slight changes in the works for the timing of it,
but just budget some time for that.
Go on Patreon.
Show your support.
We'll be live streaming, answering some questions, live Q&A.
We'll be live from the lodge, just us three, so stay tuned.
It's going to be fun.
Should be a good time.
I don't really know what to expect at all, but I'll be along for the ride.
The homie might even be here.
Homie's going to be here just playing with trucks and shit.
Yeah, he'll be playing with toys.
It's going to be tight. Maybe with trucks and shit. Yeah, he'll be playing with toys. It's going to be tight.
Maybe I'll bring Randy.
Wow.
Wow.
Should we talk about this cat's butthole situation?
Been waiting to talk about this.
Dave, tell us exactly what's going on here.
Well, my trends are no longer showing up, so let me...
Dude, just do it from memory.
You know the story, though.
Your brain is big enough that you can...
Apparently in the movie Cats...
So somebody tweeted about the movie Cats.
They said, hey, at some point, you know, we could all use a tell-all book
about, you know, what went down, the fiasco of the movie Cats.
Because you know, Will, it wasn't a great success.
It was a straight-up finasco, dude.
Okay, I have a tweet here, Dave, if you want me to read it.
Yeah, I just pulled it up.
So this guy tweeted,
I desperately need a tell-all book about the making of Cats.
It could help me get through this.
I would read that book.
Even though I have no desire to see the movie, I know.
And this guy responded.
And it's gone viral.
A VFX producer, friend of a friend, was hired in November to finish some of the 400 effects shots in the Atz Cat movie.
His entire job was to remove CGI buttholes that had been inserted a few months before,
which means that somewhere out there, there exists a butthole cut of cats.
The phrase I hate in this tweet is, a friend of a friend was hired in November.
I don't like, it's not a great source.
I want to believe that it's true.
I'm not looking for the New York Times here.
I'm just looking for the content, Dylan.
No, I am too, Dave.
I'm looking for the butthole content.
Take your journalistic integrity and throw that shit out the window.
Oh, wait a minute.
I'm very skeptical. I think I know why Dylan's trying to poo'm looking for the butthole content. Take your journalistic integrity and throw that shit out the window. Oh, wait a minute. I'm very skeptical.
I think I know why Dylan's trying to poo-poo this butthole story.
This is not about a bleach butthole if you're trying to take it there.
I think it might be.
You're very skeptical about all butthole stories.
A VFX producer friend of a friend was hired in November.
What is VFX?
Visual effects.
Visual effects.
Okay.
Dumb ass.
Come on, dude.
Keep up.
I want to believe this is real um and look it might be
i don't know why they would add buttholes to begin with because dude somebody that was on
the visual effects team or vfx uh they were told to make as realistic as possible human cats out
of these people and if they tell me that i'm putting buttholes cats and humans have buttholes
no one wants to see but i know you like to that, I'm putting buttholes in. Cats and humans have buttholes, Dylan.
Nobody wants to see buttholes.
I know you like to ignore yours.
Do cat buttholes freak you guys out?
Okay.
All animal buttholes freak me out.
I was about to say, cat buttholes freak me out,
but so do dog buttholes if the dog has a tail that sticks up
or curls up around the back.
You know what I mean?
Like a pug, for example.
Yeah.
Their tails go almost like curl back over their back.
And I don't want to look at your butthole, man.
Turn your butthole away from me.
Dude.
Yeah.
No, I agree.
I don't like having like Rosie will sleep in our bed and she puts her head near my pillow
and her butt near Sally.
And if it was the other way around, Rosie would be sleeping on her bed somewhere else.
You can't have that cat butthole in your face.
No.
Yeah.
All animal buttholes, humans included.
I had an interaction with a dog butthole once.
It scarred me for, well, I'm still scarred from it.
Was that a bitch you were dating?
David.
Back in the day.
That was funny.
A long time ago, I went to-
That's a good joke.
This was back when I was married, and Dallas and I went to, she was at a clothing store.
And I went in there with her, and I was like, you know, I don't like to shop for women's clothing.
What was the store?
Beehive, I think it's called, which is actually right down the street.
I don't know if it's still there.
They've rebranded it.
It's now Behole Hive.
That's stupid.
No, that was good.
I went in there, and I was sitting down,
and one of the chairs for guys who don't want to be there, I guess.
So I sat down.
I was waiting for her to do her thing.
The owner of the store had a little dog running around, whatever,
and the dog liked me, and it came and sat with me a little bit.
It was a nice dog, whatever.
It's fun to pet dogs.
It had one of the tails that I'm talking about that reveals butthole constantly,
and I didn't like it.
You know what?
There's been a run on surgical masks in the healthcare industry,
and it's because people are trying to cover up their dog's buttholes
with them. I don't think that's
it. Anyway, this dog
came and sat on my lap.
Oh no. And it made me uncomfortable
because it had a
butthole tail.
And it sat there for a minute.
I was like, okay, this is not comfortable.
Whatever. Dog gets up,
runs off, a minute later.
There is like a little dollop of shit on my shirt from this dog.
And it was very disturbing.
And I still have the image ingrained in my mind.
You can't just have your dog out there with a dirty b-hole running around to customers.
You can't have your dog's doo-doo on your customer's shirt, man.
It's not good for biz.
You were probably just trying to sit there looking at your phone scrolling through the tweets i was i was on the
meme next thing you know you got doodoo on your shirt i got a little dog doodoo on my shirt
well you had a similar story but it was at a gentleman's club
don't tell that one will i have i do a butthole story you guys ready for this fuck yeah dude i do have a butthole story.
You guys ready for this?
Fuck yeah, dude.
Y'all have a butthole story.
So we have this new corgi at our apartment, and his name is Winston.
On the surface, that's great news.
Great dog name.
Great name for a corgi.
Great name for a corgi.
It's one of my favorite name dog combinations at our current dog park.
It's right behind the chihuahua named Todd.
But Corgi Winston is on the surface. I was, like, pumped. I was, like, all right, dudeahua named todd but corgi winston is on the surface i was
like pumped i was like all right dude we got this new corgi in here it's gonna be just really
awesome uh turns out they can be shitheads can't they yeah it turns out it's not awesome
yeah not only does winston just try to hump rosie at all times that's so unstable a corgi
dude it's very it's very annoying because yeah like winston is smaller
than rosie so winston's like just jumping up trying to hump and so rosie when she goes to
the bathroom she kind of takes a little while she does laps she walks she kind of paces and
winston just won't leave her alone so the other day rosie i finally get winston away the owner
doesn't do the best job of getting rid of Winston.
And so the other day, Rosie's sitting there trying to take a poop.
And Winston just comes up and just puts his nose directly into Rosie's butthole.
Dude, Winston's into some wild shit.
And I'm like, dude, Winston, you got to chill.
And then starts eating Rosie's poop.
Okay.
And so Sally starts freaking out. And she's like, grabs Winston away.
And the owner gets mad at us for moving Winston.
We're like, dude.
He was eating poop.
Your dog is eating our dog's poop and trying to lick its butthole.
Trying to do you a favor.
Yeah.
I'm like, do you want poop breath on Winston?
Look, if your dog is near or like exploring my dog's butthole, it's within my right to get your dog away.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
There aren't that many times where I'll put my hands on somebody else's dog
that's not in just a nice petting.
That was one of the times where I wasn't even trying.
It wasn't even like an aggressive move away.
It was like, oh, my God, like, please get away.
If your dog is humping my dog or doing something weird to its butthole
or just genitals in general, I'm going to move it away physically.
Yeah.
And you're not going to get mad if you want, but.
I'm going to give you away physically. Yep. And you're not going to, you know what, get mad if you want, but. I'm going to give you guys the right to do something.
If you're ever watching Randy or you're somewhere and I'm not paying attention
and Randy's out there and another dog is trying to mess around with Randy's
butt, his butthole specifically, and that includes,
but is not limited to eating his poo.
Or if Randy, for some reason, gets real wild and starts doing that act
i give you permission to put your hands on randy and remove him gently but albeit remove him
forcibly from the situation consider it done david and he'll appreciate that oh you can't
have that dude he's got white fur uh-uh The only thing I've seen Randy do,
I've seen him sniffing another dog's lower parts, not the B-hole,
and that dog will just start taking a pee,
and he gets real close to the golden shower.
Yeah.
I'm like, dude, Randy, don't get fucking peed on.
Dogs are just obsessed with smelling pee, man.
It's not cool.
It's not a good look.
If they smell it on the ground,
they get their nose all up in it just to get
all the scents. Come on.
Dogs are gross.
So again, if you're wondering why
this is the top trending thing for me.
Hashtag release the butthole cut.
So people are wanting this. They're demanding
it be released.
It would probably do better than the original
cats. I don't understand how all these people decided to do cats.
Does that mean Jason Derulo has a CGI butthole?
Jason Derulo.
Is that what this means?
He's in that, right?
He is.
Taylor Swift also has one.
People are wondering about it.
I'm trying to see Jason and Taylor's CGI butthole.
They're cat buttholes.
People think that Taylor Swift doesn't have a belly button,
so her not having a butthole, it's in play right now.
That would be weird because that's how your body gets rid of toxic waste
after it digests food.
Have we seen her belly button yet?
I don't know.
It has to be on there now, right?
She had one installed.
She probably did.
But, yeah, she always wore those high-waisted bikinis,
and it all came out that people thought
she just didn't have a belly button.
We've talked about John Stamos' belly button before, haven't we?
Nope.
It is shockingly gross.
So I was watching an Architectural Digest YouTube video
on John Stamos recently,
and he's obsessed with Disney.
He's got this very kind of farmhouse-y, interesting...
Oh my God, his...
His belly button?
His belly button!
I'm telling you, man.
Buddy!
It's not a good look.
Would you take John Stamos' overall life for that belly button?
Yeah.
Stamos?
Stamos crushes.
Yeah, he's a handsome man.
He's just got a weird belly button.
It almost looks like a C-section scar.
He's obsessed with Disney.
C-section.
He owns like a giant Disneyland sign that he has in his backyard.
That's a red flag.
It's really just a little weird to me.
That is weird.
Do you think you know somebody?
Take, for instance, last night, like Oprah.
We thought here she was, like billionaire,
one of the most influential
female celebrities of all time celebrities of all time and next thing you know she's
getting arrested in a tunnel under her house that was weird you know i almost couldn't go to bed
last night because i was waiting to see if this story was true i knew it wasn't true finally
tweeted on the off chance that it was true, I was like, I don't
want to be around Twitter when this breaks.
This is what her tweet says. Just got a phone
call that my name is
trending. Terrible. And being trolled
for some awful fake, in all caps,
thing. It's not true,
all caps. Haven't been
raided or arrested. Just sanitizing
and self-distancing with the rest of the world. Stay safe
everybody. Has she ever been photographed with Epstein is she on the flight log i'm looking that up right
now hard to say yeah so the rumor was that she had kids basically in her in her basement and she was
running some sex trafficking ring oprah i've said i've said in the past that i'm not a big oprah guy
uh i respect what she does, but I truly
hope that, yeah, that is fake.
She seems to be an upstanding citizen.
I think so. I don't know. I've heard a couple interviews with her in the past few years
that make her sound very holier than thou.
Oh, yeah. Well, she is.
And it's just like, oh, my God.
She definitely is.
Like, you think you're God. But I weirdly did watch Oprah sometimes when I was younger.
Was Nancy watching it?
You just happened to be there?
I don't know.
I don't even know if she was watching it.
My mom was a big Today Show person.
She loved the Today Show.
But I remember going home from school and just being like, all right, fuck it, Oprah.
The inflection in her voice when she gets excited on her show, it's pretty insufferable.
Who was the other person? Who was the other person?
Who was the other person? Not Ricky Lake.
The other one. Sally Jessie Raphael.
Yes. Sally.
Was she a redhead? Is that where this all started?
Short blonde hair, red glasses.
Ricky Lake.
You're thinking of
Sally Jessie Raphael?
I might be mixing it up with the woman
from that game show.
The biggest, no.
Weakest Link?
You are the weakest link.
Goodbye.
You get a car.
You get a car.
I'm not seeing any connection to Epstein.
Okay.
Next guest is David Ruff.
That's how she does it.
Can you just...
Dude, now that's like Ellen's entire show is like giving away stuff.
Oprah's episode where she gave stuff away was actually a lituation.
Oh, if you're in the audience and she announced that this is like the giveaway day, it's on.
Oh, it's on, dude.
That would be the greatest thing in the world.
Those women would just lose their absolute minds.
Oh, it'd be the...
Start crying and every single
person in the history of the world who's bought a ticket for the oprah show is secretly hoping
like i really hope it's the it's the giveaway episode we should do a we should do a show like
oprah but instead of giving away like money or cars we give away cgi buttholes yeah i kind of
felt like oprah yesterday just giving away stuff because randy was in the studio with me setting up
some stuff and i was just giving him free him free stuff that we just had lying around.
I was like, oh, you want this t-shirt?
You want this like robeck shirt that we all have already?
We pay Randy in perks.
Actually, no, I'm sorry.
What's his name?
Human?
Human.
Folks, we have video equipment in here, by the way.
Yeah, we were going to do it today.
We were actually going to try to record today's episode in a really bootleg way.
I blew it.
Somebody forgot an extension cord.
Yeah, that's on me.
That's okay.
It's all right.
I'm going to say, I think if we're in the studio next week, we'll have video.
It might be crude.
That's why we hired.
It might be rude.
It might be crude.
That's why we hired video man Randy Savage.
Yep.
Yeah, he got hired at the worst possible time, but it's cool.
No one's hiring right Savage. Yep. Yeah, he got hired at the worst possible time, but it's cool. So weird.
No one's hiring right now.
Yeah.
What do you think about Gerald McCoy getting the three-year deal, Dylan?
This is the Sports Minute.
I haven't seen this yet.
For the boys?
Yeah.
Oh, interesting.
Jossie, speaking of sports, that was my transition.
Did you see what Michael Irvin said that DeAndre Hopkins told him
about his meeting with Bill O'Brien?
No.
It's pretty damning.
Apparently Bill O'Brien, at some point during the season,
they had been butting heads for a while.
Like CGI butting?
CGI.
Like CGI buttholes just reverse docking.
Come on.
I'm sorry.
It's Wednesday.
Everybody's got quarantine brain.
Yeah.
And he met with him.
He said it was basically because he thought that DeAndre had too much sway
over the locker room, too much power over the team.
And when they met, the first thing he said was,
you know, I've only had to have one meeting like this with one other player,
and that player was Aaron Hernandez.
Oh, my God.
And apparently things went south from there as he was compared to Aaron Hernandez,
noted homicidal maniac.
That's not a good way to start a meeting.
He seems like a pretty good dude.
I think he has absolutely no criminal history.
He may have, I don't know. but if he does, it's nothing.
It's obviously nothing in the lexicon of Aaron Hernandez.
That probably means he's a leader, right?
Yeah, that's usually how that works.
Yeah.
Yeah, I imagine the rest of the team was not very happy about that trade.
So that was my sports point of the day.
Anything else on sports?
Yeah, J.J. Watts just had his CGI butthole removed.
Can I say something that I think is hilarious,
even if they weren't trying to make it funny?
Yeah.
I love the fact that NBC Sports is just like last night for two hours,
8 to 10, primetime, curling night in America.
Let's go.
I was just like, dude, this is great from them.
Or is it a rerun?
I think it's a rerun.
I was just like, whoever came up with this
and was like, guys, all right, here's what we do.
We take one of the most niche sports
and let's just put it in primetime.
Have y'all seen people trying to convince ESPN
to release the Michael Jordan documentary early?
They should.
I think it's scheduled for a summer release.
They should.
Release it on ESPN+.
Oh, my God.
Why not?
They need to release that Dream Team pickup game.
Assuming it's all finished, which I think it is.
I don't even care.
Release the Dream Team pickup game.
Don't they have video of that?
You ever heard the rumors of that?
No.
Apparently, there's video out there of a pickup game between the Dream Team
that just got heated as fuck.
Yes, I need that.
Is this where, like, Jordan took it way seriously?
Yeah.
Like he did every pickup game?
I think, like, he and Bird got into it at one point or something like that.
There's, like, a story of that.
You know Larry Bird is, like, one of the all-time great shit talkers.
If you ever see stories about him, he talked shit all day.
Yeah, I respect that.
Did you talk shit when you guys played competitive sports?
No.
A little bit.
Not much.
I talked a little.
In hockey I did,
but playing eighth grade B-team basketball and football.
The only time I talked shit was...
I was just trying not to get worked.
If I swatted you in basketball,
I was saying something.
The only time I talked shit was I was just trying not to get worked If I swatted you in basketball I was saying something The only time I talked shit
In like actual organized sports
Was
Soccer
When I was defending
Just because like
I thought
It was the only time
Where I thought it actually
Gave me an edge
To kind of like
Talk to the dude
And like
Get him off his game
A little bit
But other than that
Like
My tennis
And skiing shit
Talking wasn't all that great
The first home run That I hit in high school, I hit –
I absolutely – it was an absolute bomb, and I pimped it.
The first one I hit.
You don't see that.
Didn't they throw it at your head the next bat?
I deserved it, every bit of it.
Did, like, anyone yell at you after?
Did your dad give you a certain talking to?
No, but an embarrassing thing happened afterward, actually.
My mom went and got the ball.
She walked to the outfield and got the ball, which was cool.
She was very proud.
Big moment for me.
But then she decided to walk to the dugout and poke her head in.
Oh, no.
And I was mortified.
She goes, Dylan, I got you.
She started waving.
I got you the ball like waving i got your ball
that's so sweet it was so sweet she had no idea that it was like a big no-no yeah mom and she
goes and i was like mom you gotta go away and she goes but it's your first one like mom i know
you got it you gotta walk away and uh the next next time we met as a team or coach he had he
had a few words to say to me about it.
Yeah, I was going to say it would be weird if your coach,
after watching you do that and watching your mom do that,
didn't tear you a new CGI butthole.
He addressed us as a team.
He didn't single me out, but he was like,
oh, and one more thing, let's keep parents out of the dugout, please.
Okay.
Everybody looked at me.
It was not a good look.
You did the furry cat meme?
Whatever that fucking thing is? I fucking pissed on that ball, on that ball though all right dude you hammered it oh my god
anyway let's talk about quip who's it against do you remember yeah who are you against
dell valley i always i always had great games against dell valley hey props to you for not
they renamed it to dill valley after you fucking pissed on that one.
I'm props to you for not
trying to dress up the story
and say like it was off of
like Jared Weaver.
Like a dude we know.
Do you know who I'm talking about?
Maybe your pledge brother.
You might listen to this
pod, Frat Jones.
Who?
He's from Abilene.
He has a story.
He says he went yard
off Jared Weaver.
I played against Houston Street.
Long-haired guy from the Angels.
Tall, skinny.
Great pitcher.
Total gas.
Yeah, yeah.
He's a beast.
He's a wild man.
But he had a story that he went yard off him in high school,
and everybody was like, okay.
Nah.
Okay.
I took Houston Street off the wall in elementary school
in Little League
but
that's kind of the only like
future star I faced
so
shouts to you man
you were saying something about Quip?
oh you know I'm saying
something about Quip
Quip
Quip are the makers
of an electric toothbrush
that wants you to know
the single one discovery
that matters most
for your dental care it's simply this that if you have good habits you're good we're Quip are the makers of an electric toothbrush that wants you to know the single one discovery that matters most for your dental care.
It's simply this.
That if you have good habits, you're good.
We're Quip boys.
Certified.
You guys brush for two minutes now?
Catch me quipping.
Yes.
Damn right you do.
Sometimes I go a little longer.
Sometimes I go over.
If I feel like there's a trouble area, you know I'm running it back.
I want to say that's reckless, but I respect both of you.
If I'm behind pace, because every 30 seconds you get the little
you know pulse if i'm behind pace i feel like i need to like make up it it stresses me out
go at your own pace man go at your own pace do you ever um forget like and lose track like you're
zoned out like before bed or something and you're like wait was that vibrate one or vibrate two yeah
dude that happens to me dude i hate that you guys stay in one quadrant while you're doing it yeah oh i yeah
i break up into four i need to start doing that but that's why we have quit they're just upping
our game when it comes to our dental health and our habits our teeth have never looked better
people ask if our teeth are cgi'd on and they're not these are our real teeth because of quip and
we're in very good shape right now with Quip. You want to know why?
Because they'll send you refill packs on a regular basis.
That means you don't have to go to the fucking store.
Exactly.
And if there's one thing you don't want to bother with right now,
it's going to the icky store.
You don't want to just go in there just for toothpaste.
You don't want to risk it all for toothpaste.
No.
They'll send it to you. If you go to getquip.com slash circling back right now,
you'll get your first refill pack free.
That's your first refill pack free at getquip.com slash circlingback.
Spelled G-E-T-Q-U-I-P dot com slash circlingback.
Quip, the good habits company.
Are you guys ready for what I like to call Bit Madness Round 3?
Oh, boy, am I.
This is where it starts to get, like, real.
Yes.
I have, again, I don't have the technology for anything
just because I don't know how to work the spreadsheet that we're doing,
so I have just screenshots from Brett.
I've got an announcement, Will.
Do you have an announcement?
What just happened?
I turned it up.
Turn it up!
Turn it up.
It's Bit Madness!
I don't know what it says about me.
I don't even recognize that music as being the March Madness music.
We're on the cutting edge of technology.
The fact that we were able to do what we just did.
I'm not really that interested in college basketball, man.
To pull back the curtain,
I was pushing up the wrong volume thing for Dave,
and then Dave put up the volume on his laptop,
which just caused mayhem in here.
Yeah, I hope that didn't bust any eardrums. If it did, please email dylan at washmania.com.
Please do not.
If you guys are unfamiliar with Bit Madness, if you're new to the pod, or if you just haven't been listening, If it did, please email Dylan at washmania.com. Please do not.
If you guys are unfamiliar with Bit Madness, if you're new to the pod,
or if you just haven't been listening,
well, we're just taking every single bit that we've had over the last year.
They were seeded by our listeners, and we're in the round of 16 right now.
Round of 64 was tough.
32 was even harder.
Today's going to be tough.
There's going to be some major decisions made today.
You guys ready to jump in?
Oh yeah. Alright.
Number one.
Dave texting the homie.
Just texted him right now.
And one of my favorites.
Oh wow. That's a good one
here. None of these are
easy. Not one of these matchups
are easy. You could say Dylan created both of these bits. I created the hom matchups are easy you could say dylan created
both of these bits i created the homie that's for sure you did he is your seed
um it's this is really hard i'm gonna vote first just because i you know i ride for champagne
yeah we we already knew that dave how about you next? Since I'm going to classify this as your bit,
because, again, you did produce the homie partially.
You didn't give birth to him, but you participated in the act.
Sure.
It's not one of mine, so I can say I am voting for Dave texting the homie.
So it's on me.
It's on you.
It's on you.
This is tough, man.
I mean, you're going to turn your back on your son
or your desire to drink champagne when you're very, very hungry.
Yeah.
Which one is more important to you?
Going on to the next round will be Dave texting the homie.
Bang!
It's a funny bit. It's a really good bit. Bang! It's a funny bit. It's a
really good bit. Yeah. It's a good bit.
You know I love the champagne bit probably more
than anything. Mainly because I
wasn't there to be a part of the tense part
of it so I was just like having fun from
the comfort of my apartment. He's got to stop sending
me these if you know you know guy memes.
I don't know
how these have escaped me. He's like on like a sub Reddit. me these uh if you know you know guy memes i don't know how it's sitting i don't know how
these have escaped me he's like on like a subreddit well i had no idea either man it's so
weird for sally to know about a meme before i know about it i'm like what's going on in the world
that's this is when i start to feel like i'm getting old oh two big brands made t-shirts
with this guy's face on them and i that's when i knew that it has completely
passed this dude's been a part of my high school group text and or email thread for like a decade
plus we're talking if you don't know i look i don't even want to like describe look it's a it's
a it's a man with a very very large piece if you know you know and for whatever reason guys think it's funny to just send out it's so absurd
it is funny can someone just explain just briefly what it is i just said it it's just a it's just a
photo of a guy with like what has to be an all-time top five large piece in history but the meme that's
going around now it's just like his bust like it's yeah it's just chest up and it just says
if you know you know, you know.
Have you seen the one of him just sitting in the Oval Office?
Yes.
No.
Hold on.
But I can imagine it.
There's him sitting in the Oval Office with everyone looking around him,
like looking down.
There's one with like, it's Trump at the podium
wearing that fucking shitty gas station USA hat,
like addressing the country on the coronavirus.
And like there's a guy next to him,
and he's holding like a piece of paper down at his crotch level,
and someone photoshopped the penis of this man onto it.
So it's right there.
So it's just, I don't know why I called it the penis of this man.
There's a better way. There's a better way to know why I called it the penis of this man. There's a better way.
There's a better way to word it.
It is the penis of that man, though.
I mean, technically right, but worded poorly.
Whose penis is this?
I don't know, man.
Don't go look it up.
If you do, just.
You guys ready for the next round?
People are going to think it's CGI.
The next round is Japan, the country, I believe,
or I think it's mainly Dave screaming Japan,
versus circling Batch.
Whoa.
I'm not going to lie.
I kind of wish that Batch was in season right now.
Hit us with that rewatch, Chris.
Is there anything in the near future
that's coming out that we can get excited about?
Ozark next month?
I didn't even finish season two. I didn't even finish season
one. It puts off outsider
vibes. Fuck the
outsider, dude.
Sorry.
Heated right now.
I'm just so heated.
It had a lot of promise to begin with
and then it kind of faded. Anyway, that's not what this is about. I'm just so heated. It had a lot of promise to begin with, and then it just kind of faded.
Anyway, that's not what this is about.
This is about BitMadness.
Japan versus Circling Batch.
I'm going to go Circling Batch.
Why?
Because it's content for days, man.
I do love Circling Batch.
Dave, what are you going with
Did you go with circling batch
I did
You just want to say Japan's so bad right now
That you're going to vote for it
Go ahead
Go ahead bitch
Do you know who's been handling this
Japan advances
I was going to say you know who's
You know who's been handling this
COVID-19 thing really well
Tell us South Korea No Fances. I was going to say, you know who's been handling this COVID-19 thing really well?
Tell us.
South Korea.
No.
Are you going to tell us or?
Japan.
Oh, okay.
There you go.
There you go.
Again, if you're new here, which I'm sure some of you might be, go look.
If you don't know Street Fighter, if you know, you know.
If you played Street Fighter, you know. If you know, you know.
That's all I'm saying.
What are you voting for, Dave? You vote for Japan? I voted for them twice. Oh, you know, you know. If you played Street Fighter, you know. That's all I'm saying. What are you voting for, Dave?
Did you vote for Japan? I voted for them
twice. Oh, you can't vote twice.
Well, I did. That's not how it works.
Well.
It's already gone through, Will.
Oh, no.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I haven't voted yet.
I'm looking at it. I'm voting Japan.
I love Circling Batch, but right now it's out fuck you, Dylan. I'm looking at it. I'm voting Japan. I love circling batch, but right now
it's out of season. Japan.
Normally I would send it home, but I think the
people need it right now.
I'm
actually selecting Japan just because I think
we all need to look at what they did and
try to emulate some of that.
Just keeping Japan
top of mind. Well said, Will.
Does Russia not have any...
What's going on there?
I have not heard anything.
I feel like they have it,
and they're just not talking about it.
That would be like them.
I could see Putin saying some shit
like how they're immune to it.
Yeah.
I feel like Russia's been weirdly quiet
throughout this entire thing.
Next up.
This is a hard one.
Frat Dave
versus Fulton Oil and Gas.
I'm going with Frat Dave.
Frat Dave versus a caller of the show.
Yeah.
I'm going with Frat Dave, and it's because we haven't seen a lot of Frat Dave lately.
Is it because he's on spring break?
Yeah, no, I've been trying to lay low.
Dude, he's in Gulf Shores right now.
Dude, he's staying at his parents' house in Seaside
because, like, that's the best place to quarantine.
Yeah, you know, we're just trying to, like, keep it low profile out there.
We brought a – my dad got a couple elk last season,
and, you know, we're still eating it, so we brought it out there
pretty much just to go on carnivore diet.
Dave, I think Fulton is under the impression that you're mad at him
or don't like him or something.
Yeah.
Is that true?
Do you want to address this?
Who are we talking about here?
Fulton Oil and Gas.
You don't know who he is?
Is he?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know who he is.
He thinks you hate him.
Why do you hate him?
He's the one. He keeps trying to beef with me. I know what he's yeah, yeah. I know who he is. He thinks you hate him. Why do you hate him?
He's the one.
He keeps trying to beef with me.
I know what he's doing, man.
He's trying to beef with me to boost his stock, and it's working, quite frankly.
His stonk is going up because of the beef. Dude, I've been looking at his stonks.
I logged into my E-Trade account.
Now is the time to buy.
Wow.
I vote for Frat Dave.
Let the record show I will vote for Fulton Oil & Gas.
He needs it.
That's an easy vote after Frat Dave's already gone through.
Let the record show.
Now, Fulton, did he leave the latest DM group that he sent us?
Did he leave that one yet?
Let's see if he left it yet.
Because after yesterday, he did not seem very
happy with us.
I can't even tell.
Then he's still in there.
It'll say he's left.
He's still in there. Sorry, Fulton.
You're still in the DM, but you're
out of circling
Bit Madness. Sorry, Fulton. My dad actually works in oil and gas, you're out of circling bit madness.
Yeah, sorry, full night.
My dad actually works in oil and gas, and he's never even heard of you.
My dad actually said I could have your job if, like, worse comes to worse.
His last two messages in that group,
made myself vulnerable, asked y'all out on boats, and y'all flamed me.
And then it says, I'm just a salty little captain looking for a skipper.
You'll find your skipper. He's doing content even in a skipper. You'll find your skipper.
He's doing content even in a private message.
You'll find your skipper.
Dude, he has my phone number.
Why doesn't he just text me?
He's one of the 10,000 backers who has my phone number.
I love that you just give your number out to everyone you meet.
I give it to Fulton.
Fulton deserves a number at this point.
He doesn't abuse it.
Occasionally, he'll ask me to go out like on rainy, pre-quarantine, pre-C.
Well, if I'm on rainy now, like today.
We can't call it pre-C, can we?
No, we can't call it pre-C.
And plus, it's quarantine spelled with a Q anyway.
Yeah, but we can't do, but you could do pre-COVID,
which would be pre-C, pre-corona.
Pre-C is what Dylan had a problem with.
Well, then we just, yeah, pre-teen also has been canceled.
Okay. Okay.
Yeah.
But if I'm on Rainy one day and I, like, post, like,
an Instagram story or something like that and Fulton texts me,
I'm like, yeah, let's get Fulton in the mix here.
Bring that chain out.
So you got his number two?
No.
Oh, okay.
You don't want it?
He didn't have mine yet.
We could call him right now.
I have no problem giving it to him.
You want to call him after a bit of madness
just to see what the fuck's up?
Dude, let's, maybe.
Okay.
Maybe.
Wow. That'll make his day. Let's do the next? Dude, let's... Maybe. Okay. Maybe. Wow.
That'll make his day.
Let's do the next...
Gotta do his stonk right now.
His stonk is stupid.
Jeez.
Dude, they're gonna have to, like, put a cap on it.
You guys want this next matchup?
Yes.
Heavyweights.
Heavyweights in this one.
Ooh.
Uh, Wilmonds versus Feral Hogs.
Oh, man.
I don't want to kill you to one of these.
See, this is...
They shouldn't be
meeting this early.
I'm glad they're meeting
now and not in the
first round.
Yeah.
But this is what,
the round of 16?
Yep.
Sometimes you get
matchups like this.
They're trying to go
to the Elite Eight
right now.
Yeah, we understand
how tournaments work.
I don't want to send
either one of these
home, man.
Dude, I get it.
Wait, does it say
how many feral hogs?
No, it just says feral hogs in general.
You got to think it's like between like 30 and 50.
I think it's between 29 and 51.
I'm ready to cast my vote.
Cast it, bitch.
Wilmonds.
I enjoy it way too much.
I'm voting for the hogs.
I want to give Will the opportunity to kill his own bet.
I got bad news
It's a feeling like none other
I don't think I have that many personal horses in the race at this point
So I have to ride with Will Mons
It's kind of my bread and butter right now
Will Mons, their Twitter response yesterday
I believe it was Cat Pat, it was pretty funny
Our social media manager, he's kind of just
He's a little gun shy right now
He's always high though
Stupid high, non-stop
I ask him, can you just send me the tweets before you like put them out i just want to make
sure we're like not offending anybody whatever and like every tweet he sends me i'm like dude
what are you doing right now i don't know he said there's a severe pineapple shortage
at the restaurant right now so if you're trying to get some to go is woman's still open for
business during all this or or how does it work?
We're thinking about doing a feral hog roast after we just killed them all.
Spit roast?
We're going to spit roast some feral hogs.
You can pick it up curbside.
I've got some friends that have done that before.
If you pull your boat up, we'll bring it out to the beach for you
and hand it off to your boat.
I didn't realize it was up against the water.
Well, a lot of people have curbside delivery and stuff like that.
Dude, what's your rent look like?
It's not good.
Jeez.
It's not good.
In this economy.
But still, somehow you keep prices low.
It's pretty impressive.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean.
Isn't it true that your margins aren't great because you've just undercut
like Joe's Crab Shack and all the big chains?
You're basically giving away food. It's like Latte Larry's. Is Joe's Crab Shack and all the big chains. You're basically giving away food.
It's like Latte Larry's.
Is Joe's Crab Shack still around?
Oh, yeah, dude.
There's still one in Austin.
Oh, really?
Yeah, you want to go there sometime?
Absolutely not.
No.
I do live right next to a Red Lobster.
You think they're doing curbside pickup?
Ooh, Latte Larry's.
I want to try some of that coffee, man.
He's got the beans, dude.
He's got the beans. He's got the beans. He's got the beans, dude. He's got the beans.
He's got the beans.
He's got the beans.
Have you caught up yet, Dave?
I know enough of, I've seen enough to know Latte Larry.
Is he still banned?
From what?
From the other one?
Yeah.
Okay.
But, dude, it's so good.
Larry banned Mocha Joe from his coffee shop.
He also banned his mom.
He bought the one next door, didn't he?
He also banned his mom from coming.
Yeah, he banned Mocha Joe's mom.
Dude, it's been such a good season so far.
Dude, I'm like, don't want to go through it yet because I want it to look forward to it.
I'm waiting for the absolute, where I'm at my lowest during quarantine to just pop it in.
Yeah, the last few episodes have just been absolute gold.
I don't even care if you watch the show.
I don't care if you've seen seasons one through whatever.
This season has been
absolutely hilarious the entire
time. It's amazing.
Should we move over to the other side of the bracket?
Oh, Wilmonds
went through, correct? Yep.
I casted the winning vote.
Next one.
Another big matchup. Big Cats versus
Horny on the timeline.
Big Cats. This is easy for me.
It's a staple.
I know, but horniness is important right now.
Yeah, Dr. Oz says couples should be having sex.
I saw that.
I think that's important at any juncture.
I know we're not kissing our homies right now.
Are we kissing our significant others?
Only through the phone.
No one's going to kiss me through the phone references right now.
Dude, I'm avoiding her.
I made her a nice little bed in our shower.
Who, Sally?
Yeah, she's sleeping in the bathtub.
She's sleeping in the bathtub.
That's nice.
Where's Rosie?
Rosie's sleeping on the bed? Yeah, Rosie's with me. Jeez. She's sleeping in the bathtub. That's nice. Where's Rosie? Rosie's sleeping on the bed?
Yeah, Rosie's with me.
Jeez.
I'm going with Big Cats as well.
It goes through.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I was going to vote.
Three for three, I was going to go Cats.
Yep.
Yeah.
I know horniness is important right now.
It might keep your spirits up a little bit.
If you want to be horny on the timeline, I think we welcome that.
Raise your spirits.
Raise your pants.
It's too early for Big Cats to go home.
It was going to be a tough game, but Big Cats always prevail.
Next matchup, spooky season versus optimized backers.
Back from the dead.
This is kind of like.
One and the same.
Yeah.
Cut from the same cloth, Dylan.
Cut with a machete.
Dude, what do I do if my old ghost dog comes back during this time?
You never had a ghost dog.
I had a ghost dog.
Ghost got a quarantine.
That was a manifestation.
I had a ghost dog, dude.
You did not.
Our ice machine sometimes sounds like footsteps.
Like a little pitter-patter from some paws and it freaks me out.
Love that.
Although I still ride very hard for our Opto backers.
Love them.
They're the lifeblood of this venture we're doing here.
I got to go Spooky Season.
Got to.
I love Spooky Season, but in the spirit of the backers,
I'm going with the backers, and it's because, like we said,
these are kind of one and the same. Spooky Season is the backers. Without the backers, and it's because, like we said, these are kind of one and the same.
Spooky season is the backers.
Without the backers, there is no spooky season.
Fair.
Very fair.
And so I'm going with optimized with a very good hat tip to spooky season.
Don't do a hat tip like that anymore.
Good, sir.
He's pulling down an invisible hat.
That was so obnoxious
good sir
that was worse than
anything Phil has ever done
Phil's a noted
hat tipper
um
again
this was hard
I'm sorry
I'm sorry for spooky season
it's just
chicken for the egg
I literally
have to vote for
spooky season
I get it.
And here's why.
You cannot kill that which is already dead.
And I've been dead for a while.
Can people still submit stuff to spooky season if they have any good stories?
Please do using electronic mail.
Spooky.
Spooky at washedmedia.com.
I've acquired an accent. We could use another. We could use some little dose of spooky season, I think. I think at WashedMedia.com. I've acquired an accent.
We could use another.
We could use a little dose of spooky season, I think.
I think that would raise some spirits.
Yeah, Dave.
Shut up, Dylan.
Ready for the next one?
We only got two matchups left, boys.
This next one's a tough one, but I already know what I'm voting for.
Bluetooth speakers versus Vesencox.
Now, do we ever determine if the Vesencox is just the powder substance or is it the act of doing it off your homeboy's ween?
I think it's just the substance.
That changes a lot.
But you could make jokes. Like, Vesen kind of sounds like it like it sounds like it could be in colts and the jokes write themselves yeah it's it's very
easy what's it up against bts bluetooth speakers dude oh wow so it's like do you want to not get
high off dude's dicks or do you want to secure your financial future i mean both things that are important especially in times like these but i gotta be serious here and say that it's the
financial financial future is more important so bts goes through i'm hoping that during this
time of pandemic quarantining and you know not spreading germs people aren't practicing uh
bees and cocks off your hom's dick right now if you do
wrap it in saran wrap first can i play devil's advocate fair can i play devil's advocate yeah
what if visencox is the vaccine and we just don't know it yet
i feel like that's highly unlikely okay wow well in this yeah in the spirit of you know the current
climate i think it'd be
irresponsible to throw away your financial future in favor of doing communal drugs so i'm gonna say
i'm gonna go with bluetooth speakers can you imagine if oktoberfest was in the middle of this
oh my god dude okay people it seemed like people were good and not going out last night people are
mad about sports.
People want the sports.
Can you imagine if this happened during the NFL season?
No.
You'd have a lot of grown men crying.
March Madness is one of the top things that I could see people being most upset about getting canceled.
But if this was happening during college football season and NFL, I feel like people would be losing their minds even more than they are now.
The word decreased is trending in the U.S. right now,
and I was hopeful that that meant the number of cases of corona were decreased.
No, that's not the case.
What is it?
It's way too early for that.
What's decreased?
The top tweet here is Dr. Fossey.
Dr. Fossey.
Fossey, how do you say it?
Anyway. Dr. Fossey. Dr. Fossey. Fossey. How do you say it? Anyway.
Dr. Fossey.
We just Fossey Bob.
He says, don't feel bad about decreased productivity during this stressful time.
It's just people, lots of people randomly using the word decreased about different things.
Yeah.
Stop using the word decreased.
Yeah.
Stop.
It's quite the anomaly.
So I wish I had better news to report, but I don't.
Thanks, Dylan.
Thank you.
It's the medical minute.
Everyone's looking to you for the updates.
Good news here is that release the butthole cat cut is still trending.
Good.
I don't want that to happen.
Also, release the butthole cat.
Is it?
No, I'm just saying they should release it.
Oh, yeah.
If, in fact, there is one.
Are you guys ready for the final matchup of the round of 16?
The Lodge versus...
I'm voting for Emmy on the Grom all the way through,
just so you all know.
It's my favorite thing we have.
Emmy on the Grom.
So, yeah, that's my number one overall seed personally how do you feel about this dave
it's hard at d chivalry by the way at dc rough on instagram at me on the ground goes through
at will defreeze on instagram i the lodge, but the lodge right now,
could it be considered a, it's not a public space,
but it's a place where we meet.
Yes.
You know, I love the lodge.
That being said.
It's our home away from home.
Yep.
It's really, it's an extension of our quarantine.
It's the only place I'll actually willingly go right now.
So as much as I love it,
but,
you know,
right now,
it's all about being virtual.
goes through.
Guys,
we have a,
we have our final eight,
a great eight.
What do you call it? After that,
after that,
we have the final four.
Oh,
that's how that works.
Then what do you call,
what's the final one?
Championship.
The treasure, the championship game. Should we do, should we do the final four? What's the final one? Championship. The Treacherous 2.
The Championship game.
Should we do the Final Four and Championship in the same day?
No.
We need to drag this out as long as possible.
That's true.
We need content.
We need evergreen content as long as possible.
It'll be perfect for next week.
You'll have Monday and then Final Four Wednesday.
Yeah.
Right?
Oh, no Oh no no no
We're at eight
Oh yeah it won't work out perfect
We should probably do
Final four in championship
On the same day
Okay guys
Dylan said it
Otherwise people have to wait
Five days for the winner
Dude
Hens and needles baby
Just saying man
We're releasing the winner
On Patreon for a thousand dollars
Per membership
Yeah we need you guys
Just kidding
We need you guys to show up, show out.
It's only $1,000.
No, I'm just kidding.
We'll figure it out.
I'm not too worried about it.
Hey, did Tom Brady officially sign with Tampa Bay?
I haven't seen anything on it.
It's not open.
They can't sign yet, officially.
Is it today, though?
It's today.
I don't know.
It just has not happened yet.
I got you.
That's going to be...
Another weird one we never talked about was Brett Favre in Vikings.
That's not happening.
I got you.
That's going to be so... Another weird one we never talked about was Brett Favre in Vikings.
That one was super weird for me just because he was in the same division.
He was good.
That's the rival.
Isn't that the rival of the Packers?
Dude, they beat the piss out of the Cowboys.
No, I would say the Packers would consider the Bears to be their biggest rival,
and I would say that the Lions consider the Packers to be our biggest rival.
And the Vikings, I would consider, as for me,
I would consider the Vikings to be the most likable NFC North team
just because fuck the Bears and fuck the Packers.
But I've never had a straight-up beef with the Vikings.
If anything, that's a really tight mascot.
Vikings?
Oh, I think it's tight.
We just did Goon on a big screen sports
brett and i did it releases monday go subscribe we crushed it and they have the uh the halifax
highlanders and all i want now is a halifax highlanders jersey you could probably make
that happen i might just wear my red wingsings jersey around the crib, just shirt-dicking until my AC comes back.
Doing what?
Shirt-dicking?
Donald Ducking?
Shirt-dicking.
Boo-bearing?
Never heard of that.
We just called it shirt-dicking.
I've never heard of that either.
That's the most embarrassed you can be in a men's gym locker room.
With that point when you're changing and you have your workout shirt on,
maybe even your hat still.
It's almost like you're more naked that way than you are if you're fully naked.
Yeah, you feel more exposed that way.
That's a really good call.
Well, because you know what it is.
If you're fully nude, somebody catches you out of the corner of their eye,
they're going to be inclined.
They can recognize that you're fully nude.
They're not going to look.
But if you have the shirt, they're going to glance over maybe to see
if there's a locker over there, and they're going to see Dong.
They're going to see you in the shirt and think, oh, everything's fine,
and then their eyes are going to track down for a split second
and be like, oh, that's Dave's piece.
Oh!
Hey, oh!
When the shirt hangs down, it kind of hits like mid-shaft,
so you can see like the part of it.
Dude, we get it.
You're stacked.
It's all right, man.
Yeah, I don't have to worry about shirt-dicking
because you can't see anything.
Ha, ha, ha.
Man, we're doing content now aren't we um let me apologize to a dude on
modern warfare war zone last night who played with a good friend of the show landry you know
um oh his name was gary asap gary shout out to him he got paired up with us um or he hopped in
our party he was doing cross platform so he wasn't in our chat
we tried to get him on he didn't have a mic in or maybe he was in another party anyway so we're
running threes on war zone and um it was just a shit show i wasn't i was distracted my controller
batteries died mid-game i know i also got caught in the gas did you get yelled at like by everybody
on your squad when your controller died?
It was just those three.
No.
I would have gone off on it.
Landry was nice.
Not a major no-no.
Gary, ASAP, Gary was probably disappointed, but we watched him.
So Landry and I both died, and so we're just watching him like,
fuck it, let's see what Gary's got.
And Gary exercised such great restraint.
I watched him like he had a couple shots he could have taken,
but they would have been reckless.
He ended up dying.
Got murdered pretty hard.
Rest in peace, ASAP, Gary.
But shout-out to you, Gary.
I want to give a special shout-out to the backers that I've been playing
in FIFA 20 lately.
To anyone who has played me, I would just like to say one thing.
I'd like to take this chance to apologize
to absolutely nobody.
He's just taking souls.
Dude, I've been beating the living pit.
I haven't lost yet.
I've given up three goals the entire time.
I'm just a monster when it comes to playing these backers right now.
Are you better than Dylan?
Is it golden tea?
No.
Not at all.
Could you beat T-Man right now at FIFA?
Yes.
And T-Man knows it.
Wow.
T-Man used to run.
T-Man knows it.
T-Man knows it.
He knows that I've been playing a lot.
The last time I played T-Man,
I absolutely smoked him.
And he's like,
yeah,
I should probably stop playing Madden so much.
If you do want to play me,
I want games guys.
I want games at will to freeze on PlayStation.
I will say the absolute best way to get a game with me,
because I can't figure out my settings,
is to DM me.
So please DM me if you want a game.
I would love to do it.
I don't even know how to find other people on there
in the network.
It's very confusing.
Are you live yet?
Do you have the hookup to PlayStation Live,
whatever they've got?
I don't even know what that means.
I'm on the internet, obviously.
This is not great. Look at this dude in the camo fucking... Yeah, I don't know what I need to do know what that means. I'm on the internet, obviously. This is not great.
Look at this dude in the camo fucking.
Yeah, I don't know what I need to do to make that happen.
It's so beyond me.
I get it.
Somebody give Dylan a tutorial.
I feel like a 75-year-old man trying to figure out the internet for the first time.
It's just bad.
That's how I felt when I found out about the fucking if you know, you know guy.
I was like, this is the moment when I just am completely out of touch. It's a little. That's how I felt when I found out about the fucking if you know you know guy. I was like, this is the moment
when I just am completely
out of touch.
It's a little disheartening.
A little bit.
Is 33 the age?
Once you turn 33
and have a wedding ring on,
does that mean
that you're just like,
you're done?
Yeah.
Like, fuck.
Yeah.
Having a kid too will do it.
The homies are going to be
teaching me shit
before too long.
There's going to be
hella homies born nine months from now.
You got to think.
Should we do a little...
Let's talk about our friends at Roback.
Yeah.
Fucking love them.
I freaking love them.
Pretty much just been...
It's the official quarantine isolation uniform.
Yeah.
For me.
Yeah.
Technical materials? That's all I want to sit around in.
And with my ACL right now, I need moisture wicking as much as I can get.
You got to wick moisture.
Yeah.
Hey, moisture.
You just got wicked.
Wack.
Wick.
That's what it sounds like when it gets wicked.
Wick.
Yeah, I'm going on these runs like I told y'all.
Yeah.
If y'all see a roadack Performance T cruising through your neighborhood,
that's probably your boy.
Probably your boy.
Right now is the time to stock up.
Get as comfortable as humanly possible in your quarantine.
Use promo code ROSY20 for 20% off at Roback.
Just do it.
ROSY20.
It's the name of my dog.
R-H-O.
Back.
Oh, I thought you were spelling Rosie for a second.
I was like, she does not have an H in that.
Oh, no, no, sorry.
Rosie.
That would be obnoxious.
You guys want to do a little segment I call This Weekend in Quarantine?
Yeah.
I somehow have kind of an exciting weekend despite the quarantine.
I'm moving.
Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.
Friday's my big move-in day, And Corona's not going to stop me.
If I couldn't live, I'd be out on the streets.
So I'm moving Friday.
I'm pretty excited.
I'm very excited.
The homie's going to have a yard and a house to run around in.
It's going to be a lot of fun.
That's pretty much it, though.
Of course, after that, I'm just going to hunker down and have all weekend to set up my new place. It's going to it though of course after that i'm just gonna hunker down and have all weekend
to uh set up my new place can be kind of fun sounds fucking lit dude it does sound kind of
honestly i'm kind of jealous that you have a major task to do because it will take a lot of uh
it'll one it'll take you away from just like reading the news constantly yeah which will be
good for your mental health yeah and also just having a big task like that sounds great. Yeah. I don't have anything big.
How do I hook my phone up to Bluetooth?
Give me your phone.
Unlock your phone, David.
It's unlocked.
I trust you.
Wow.
Don't go through my memes.
What are you doing this weekend?
What are you doing this weekend?
Oh, hanging out at home.
Oh, yeah.
You know what I'll probably do?
I'll probably pick up food from a local restaurant.
Wow.
I just opened up Dave's Bluetooth thing.
It's amazing how many Bluetooth speakers you've been a part of okay
it's too many truly just great
oh man we can't do it because it's paired to my phone right now we're just having technical
difficulties all over the map no i'm gonna i'm probably gonna be at the dog park or the park
no i'm hoping they don't they can't close that i mean i'm sure they can but that would really suck if they closed like public parks you know randy i would probably go out there
anyway have you ever taken randy on a run no i've thought about it how do you think you hold up
i think we could probably do a a mile or two obviously you know why i'm asking
yes because i might be in the same position we have now i'll bring him i'll run around the park
with him right and he's he's fast he's faster than me believe it or not he can sprint oh we
hooked up oh we're connected david that's not hard to believe but he's faster than you i would like
i i we had this talk yesterday i would love to to start doing that with him i just
all that hair i don't know if you get too hot or not.
Can I make a phone call real quick?
Will, tell us what you're doing
and then we'll end it by calling somebody.
I got a big weekend.
Sally and I decided
that we're going to support
one of our favorite local restaurants,
Pine House Pizza,
on Friday night
and we're going to pick up a pizza from them.
Ooh, love that idea.
I'm also going to be...
Some za?
I'm also going to be calling them ahead of time
to see if I can buy a gift card
that I can use throughout this process
or just use after.
Look at you.
They're one of the two restaurants I've chosen as someone who's going to earn my preemptive money.
You are an upstanding member of society.
I go there all the time.
I love it there.
I don't want them to have to struggle.
So I'm going to go get a pizza from them, curbside pickup.
You know their owner's a billionaire, right?
No, I'm kidding.
I don't know if that's true or not.
They should be.
They make damn good beer. I love that place. Maybe I'll pick up a four-pack's a billionaire right no i'm kidding i don't know if that's true should be they make damn good beer i love that maybe i'll pick up a four pack of their beer as
well i have i have i still only have one peroni in my apartment so dude i had one last night
it's my official beer of gaming can we start okay dave if i go buy a six pack of because
i'm going to liquor store today i know i like i'm going to sanitize my i was gonna say dick
off but i don't know if i want to do that. Don't do that.
I'm going to sanitize super hard while I'm doing it and after, but we're going to need
to stock up on some beer and wine.
I'm going to, let's just start doing some live Peroni conversations.
Okay.
You down for that?
I'm so down.
And then the only other thing I'm doing this weekend is, I don't know if you guys are ready
for this.
I'm busting out the sketch pad.
You can catch me.
I bought a book. It's called How to Draw Countrysides. Oh yeah. I guys are ready for this. I'm busting out the sketch pad. You can catch me. I bought a book.
It's called How to Draw Countrysides.
Oh, yeah.
I've been waiting for this.
Last time I was at Hobby Lobby, I was picking up some artwork for the studio,
and this was before COVID-19 had reached the heights that it's at now.
But I bought a new eraser and a new pencil sharpener.
And so now that I have this book and a sketch pad,
you can catch me drawing countrysides this weekend.
Can you do me a countryside?
Maybe.
I'm a little worried.
I'll buy it from you.
Right now I'm going to start with just individual parts of the countryside,
you know, trees, bales of hay, things like that.
Which country?
I don't know.
I think what I'm going to eventually do, my goal here,
is I'm going to take some of the landscape shots that I took while I was in Scotland,
and I want to draw a couple of those.
So we'll see.
I'm excited to see what you got.
Yeah, it's going to be fun.
It's going to be fun.
So that's my plan this weekend.
Dude, just draw country sides from Braveheart.
That's pretty much what I did anyway.
That's a great quarantine hobby.
Yeah, I've been trying to draw for a while now,
and I just haven't made the time for it,
and there's no better time than now.
It's a hobby that I used to love doing,
and it's a hobby that I'm going to start picking up again.
I'm going to get back into CGI.
Also, I kind of want to order a record player,
but I don't know if that's a good idea.
It's amazing you don't have one yet.
It is.
I've been talking about ordering one for years,
and I don't know why.
Yeah.
I've got some, but I don't know.
Ordering stuff right now.
Get through time, man.
We'll crank the headphones.
Let's do a bonus call.
All right.
I don't even know who we're
calling right now i'm excited about this he better pick if he doesn't pick up it's on site
dude he's gonna big time us isn't he yeah hello hi i'm looking for fulton yep this is him
hey fulton what's up player what's going on man oh hey fulton what What's up, player? What's going on, man? Oh, hey, Fulton.
What are you doing?
Hey, you're on Circling Back right now, sir.
Oh, no.
All right.
How's it going, guys?
How's it going, everyone?
Hey, say something safe for podcast yet controversial into the microphone.
Say something controversial for the podcast?
Yet safe for the podcast.
Yeah.
Don't make us have to edit.
for the podcast.
Yet safe for the podcast.
Don't make us have to edit.
Something controversial?
All right, I'll say it. I don't really like participating in the Reddit that much.
It seems like a vacuum chamber
just complaining about the podcast.
I appreciate when people get in there
and contribute something of value,
but don't get in there
and say the same old tired take.
Don't think you're original coming in with
these, oh, I really appreciate the
guy's post. Oh, well, those are all
two cents. You can edit it out if you want.
Damn, Fulton.
But dude, you've brought so much positivity to the subreddit
lately.
I want it to be a positive community.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not trashing the community
at large. Just don't go in there chasing up votes. Don't get me wrong. I'm not trashing the community at large.
Don't go in there chasing up votes.
That's my only thing.
Bring some originality.
You're just trashing the haters.
Yeah, exactly.
Haters, you're on notice.
Don't let a few bad apples spoil it for you, though.
Dude, a live look at the haters right now.
Oh, yeah.
Look, bad apples, you're right.
Overall, the Grove is plentiful. Delicious fruit all throughout. But yeah, that's it.
The Grove is plentiful. Hey, a lot of people have been saying that you've never even been in the oil and gas category. Can you respond to that?
I have no response to that. It's utterly ridiculous.
Do you want to give out your place of work and maybe like your email address for people to contact you directly?
I cannot give out where I work.
But if anyone wants to come meet me in person or DM me, I'll be happy to let them know.
Wow.
Oh, wow.
That could go a couple different ways. In person invitation.
Are you going to take someone out on your boat?
Hey, do you not really want to go on the boat with me?
That honestly kind of hurt my feelings.
Well, the whole thing is you don't know how to captain a boat yet.
So, I mean, we need to make sure you have proper skills.
I am excited to learn how to sail this summer.
But we can also do the tri-tunes.
We can hop on the jet skis.
We can pull a tube.
Can we drink beers do the tri-tunes. We can hop on the jet skis. We can pull a tube. Can we drink beers with the boys?
Yeah, I mean, we'll talk about it.
I thought it was a sailboat.
I thought you were sailing.
What kind of boat are we talking about?
Yeah, are you just hauling on your sailboat that we can tube behind it?
Oh, now he's calling me back.
Sorry.
Dude, why do you hang up on us?
I don't know.
Let's just end it.
Yeah, sorry, Fulton.
All right, later, Fulton. Thanks for picking up. Don't hang up on us and then try to call us right back. Sorry. Dude, why do you hang up on us? I don't know. Let's just end it. Sorry, Fulton. Later, Fulton.
Thanks for picking up. Don't hang up on us and then try
to call us right back. All thirsty
ass.
He trashed the Reddit people.
Wait, was he trashing the people who were nice to us?
He was trashing the bad apples.
I thought he was trashing the people that were saying
nice things about us. He was.
So he trashed everybody. He was trashing
the upvote chasers.
I don't,
it's a community I'm not familiar with on Reddit.
The upvote chasers?
Just chasing clout on Reddit.
That was fun.
Oh, Fulton.
He's a character.
Well.
What a ridiculous time to be alive.
Time to wrap her up.
Yeah. We'll be recording tomorrow Time to wrap her up. Yeah.
We'll be recording tomorrow, doing our listener voicemails.
You guys are doing a little bit of mail-in this afternoon.
Sunday Scares will be released on schedule on Sunday morning.
And if you want to join us live during our Patreon live stream,
the weird stream-a-thon.
He just texted me back and said, did you hang up on my ass?
No, he hung up on us, dude. That's what I thought. Yeah, he hung up on us. The weird stream-a-thon he just texted me back said did you hang up on my ass no he hung up on us that's what i thought yeah he hung up on us the weird stream-a-thon yep this is our this we're dipping
our we're not even dipping our toe into the water we're jumping in the water of video we've pivoted
we're still doing audio but we're gonna do some video too we will be uh tweeting out all the
necessary information so just make sure to go check it out let's have some fun let's show patreon
what the backers are all about.
Oh, yeah.
Should we start a TikTok while we're just like... Probably.
Ready to go?
Let's get the hell out of here, everyone.
Be safe.
Wash your hands.
Self-quarantine.
Social distance.
Do everything you need to do in order to stay safe and keep others safe.
Bye.
Sanitize.
Prioritize.
Optimize. Prioritize. Optimize.