Circling Back - Cauliflower Gnocchi & Gender Reveals Gone Wrong
Episode Date: November 13, 2019Hannah G. from 'The Bachelor' has no idea how to say the word "gnocchi," a gender reveal in Turkey, TX caused a plane crash, and Dave presents us with a "Trash or Not Trash." We also knock out This We...ekend In Fun. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (10:08) Trash or Not Trash (27:16) Hannah G. Can't Say 'Gnocchi' (40:29) Gender Reveal Plane Crash (55:43) This Weekend In Fun (1:04:19) Brett's Breaking News Shop Circling Back Merchandise: www.washedmedia.com/shop Earlybird CBD: www.earlybirdcbd.com (CIRCLINGBACK for 20% off) Harry's: www.harrys.com/circlingback Figs: www.wearfigs.com (STEAM for 15% off the best scrubs on earth) Postmates: Download the app and use CIRCLING for $100 in delivery credit. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live early bird cbd studio in austin texas
my name is will to freeze to my right david ross what's up will i'll be honest man like
kind of lagging right now after that intro You need a little pick me up bro?
I think you're lagging
Because you had one beer just now
No I'm lagging
Because I want more
More heat from our
Intro music
Like we had for
Worst weekends
Yeah
That's great heat bro
Are you guy at the bar
That I haven't seen in a while?
Yeah
I didn't know we were
Getting him so early today
I gotta leave man
I gotta go pick up the kiddos
Oh dude how are they doing?
Oh they're good man
Braylon's just starting baseball.
T-ball, actually.
They put the ball in a T.
Dude, you have my number, right?
Dude, we should meet up sometime.
Dude, come out to the club.
Hey, let me check and make sure I have your number.
Oh, dude, I'm sure I have it.
I need to have you out of the club.
Dude, please.
Anytime, dude.
Like, I don't know.
I'm so busy.
What's up, Dorn?
Y'all are so obnoxious.
You still doing the TFM stuff?
I hate both of you so much.
Frat stuff.
Oh, my God.
You still with that, like, Instagram company?
Dude, that's the worst question of all time, by the way.
Which one?
The one you just asked me.
I've gotten it.
You still doing the TFM stuff?
Like, well, it's a lot more than just TFM, you know.
We had some other stuff going on.
We had many, multiple properties.
Yeah.
And a t-shirt line. There's a parent company named, too. It's had some other stuff going on. We had many, multiple properties. Yeah. And a t-shirt line.
There's a parent company named too.
It's not just TFM.
So, yeah, that was the worst, man.
It was always hard explaining to Uber drivers what I did for a living.
It's still hard.
Try talking to your neighbors, bro.
Saying podcasting is like so much easier.
Yeah, we just do podcasts. I had this this the other day went and got my hair shaved by a nice young lady at birds shut out the birds they're nice um wow i'm more of an
all birds guy but yeah go on okay she asked and i told her uh yeah i said a media company she's
like oh what kind of media and i was like uh audio and i was like
oh it's a podcast not where i am why would you say audio i don't know i just i hate the word
podcast i feel like there's a lot of podcasts out there yeah i told her we were like we weren't
ground floor but we were in pretty early on the deal hey i we are pretty early yeah if we worked
as early as we were,
I don't think we'd be doing
what we are doing now.
You don't think?
Let's put it that way.
We wouldn't be out here
bawling, ordering our sweaters
from Amazon.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
Don't hang it on my sweater, dog.
I'm not.
It's a great sweater.
What's wrong with
a little bargain shopping?
I got some pleated khakis
from Amazon about a year ago.
They fit like shit. Why did you buy pleated khakis from Amazon about a year ago. They fit like shit.
Why did you buy pleated khakis?
Because...
You're on that dude-ish shit?
Well, pleats were coming back, and I was like,
well, I want to know how they look on me,
but I'm not going to order a nice pair.
So I ordered the Amazon pair, which...
It was the opposite of killing two birds with one stone.
I got no resolution from it, and I was too lazy to return the pants,
so I have a giant pair of MC Hammer- looking baggy pleated pants sitting in my closet
i love this sweater should i put them on ebay
uh no okay i bought some uh shorts off the clearance rack at nordy's they were chubbies
and they were 30 it's my first chubbies product.
Oh,
I can go ahead and say that you have to wear them in Cabo.
That's why I bought them made for it.
They're not loud.
They're,
they're solid.
That's why I bought them.
Like they don't have like flamingos doing blow or whatever the chubbies logo is
or something.
That makes sense.
That sounds right.
It's like a flamingo,
like hitting a bong,
like getting,
nevermind. I like that. It's like a flamingo hitting a bong, like getting...
Never mind.
I like that.
Hey, real quick.
David, come here.
Get over here, Dave.
Get over here, Dave.
No, you don't say it.
Bring that ass to me, Dave.
You don't get to say it.
Bring that ass to me, David.
Dude, what's with the traffic
coming into the studio this afternoon?
It's pick up your kid from school season.
Yeah.
There's an elementary school.
Brett and I just sat in traffic for like 10 minutes.
Didn't even move.
It doesn't move.
In the crossing guard, I will say this.
She's a little extra.
Is there anything more emasculating than when a dad's going to pick up his kid from school
and they live walking distance and the dad has to wait at the crosswalk alone before the crossing guard can move him on
do you know what i'm talking about well you'd hope that the dad has established a like a rapport
with the crossing guard so he's not just the weird guy standing outside the elementary but it's just
like i mean you're a grown man you can't cross the street and stand still traffic without having
this like lady with a whistle blow it at you and be like,
all right, this way.
She has a whistle?
She has all the authority.
She has a whistle, yeah.
I think left-hand turns should be illegal
from the hours of like
2.30 to 4.
Just in life?
In life.
But more specifically
that situation we were just in.
Yeah, that was fucking terrible.
What's up with these kids?
I don't know.
And like,
all the parents are all like high and mighty and shit.
Do these kids not have after school programs?
At the school and stuff?
You could tell some parents that's their time to step out too.
They're getting fits off.
Especially in the cool weather.
They've been waiting to wear their winter clothing
since they bought it on clearance.
It's a mommy who's been doing Pilates.
She wants to throw on those yoga pants.
Toss it like a puffy jacket on top, really get a fit off, turn some heads.
You love to see it.
Strutting that ass.
What are all these parents doing for a living that they can just pick their kids up at 3 o'clock anyway?
You know?
Makes you think.
It really does make you think.
Why don't those kids just ride home on scooters, like lime scooters?
Yeah.
There's birds in the woods everywhere. Yeah, just do it. Yeah, in order to go to that school. I just don't those kids just ride home on scooters, like lime scooters? Yeah. They all live in this neighborhood.
Yeah, just do it.
Yeah, in order to go to that...
I just don't get it.
Would you...
What's the earliest you'd let Parks Uber?
That's a good question.
Like, if you ordered the Uber, and you're like, hey, Parks, this car is a Honda Accord.
Like, what age?
14, 15.
Okay, so high school.
Yeah, I guess.
Right?
I don't know.
I think I would go earlier.
Can you hop on an app
on the Uber app
as a 10-year-old
and order an Uber?
Is there some kind of
you have to be 18
or something to do it?
That's a good question.
I'm going to assume
that there's something in play.
I just think we invented an app
if not.
But if you're in like
New York City
and you have a family there,
you have to Uber
your kids' places
sometimes, don't you?
In like crunch situations?
I feel like you would have to.
It'd just be the most
convenient thing to do
at some different time.
Dude, New York City kids
are also just like
a different breed.
They could beat the shit
out of me.
A kid that grew up and putting your child in the car with kids are also just like a different breed. They could beat the shit out of me. A kid that grew up
in the car with a stranger
that was a weird move.
A 12 year old
that grew up in New York City
would beat the shit
out of 32 year old me.
Yeah.
Just a bunch of hype beasts
beating people up
with skateboards.
I'd have like supreme
stamps on my forehead
from their
belt buckles and shit.
Yeah.
Is that a thing?
I don't know.
Just yeezy soles on my face.
Dude, no, they're all wearing champion now.
Champion's in.
Champion's in.
Champion's back.
Champion's back.
What are you giggling about over here?
This should be an off podcast.
I'm going to show you guys a headline
and not react to it.
Ready? Okay. Oh, no. should be an off podcast i'm going to show you guys a headline and not react to it ready okay
oh no we i i called this the second oh can we talk about it i don't think so okay but why can't
we people are going to want to know okay we can we can just we can dance around it that's the least
shocking thing of all time let me just say it involves yours truly.
The second this unknown person created a Twitter account
and started tweeting from it,
one of the first things I said in a group text was,
he's going to be with this company at some point doing something.
A hundred percent.
It panned out.
That's interesting.
Yep.
Sorry to derail that.
It's okay. Hey, let's get. Yep. Sorry to derail that. It's okay.
Hey, let's get back on track and talk about Harry's.
Your face is looking stupid smooth right now, Dave.
Supple.
You can thank Harry for that.
Thank you, Harry.
That was me thanking Harry.
Humans have been shaving for thousands of years.
And the secret to a great shave, it hasn't changed much.
Ancient Greeks didn't need flex balls or heated handles, and neither do you.
This is just an honest razor.
You know these guys bought a blade factory in Germany?
That's what I hear.
That's my favorite thing about them, honestly.
Other than the product being so dope, I love their factory.
The backstory just makes me like the brand even more.
I mean, we all use Harry's and we love it.
A lot of people think, hey, Will, you have a sick-ass beard.
Thank you for that, everybody.
But I still have to clean up
my beard line and everything,
and I wouldn't do it
with any razor but a Harry's
at this point.
It's the best razor in the game.
I've said that.
Yeah.
They don't have all these...
They don't have, like,
razors with, like, 17 blades on it
that are just going to, like,
take off half your face.
No, these are honest razors.
They've cut out the middleman.
Big fan of that.
They shaved him out.
There's a cutting.
It's almost like a cut.
It's a shave.
There's something there.
Their razors won't cut you, but...
They bladed him out?
They bladed him out.
Because they cut out the middleman,
you're getting these things at factory direct prices.
Or as they say in the biz, FDP.
Do they say that in the biz?
I don't believe they do.
No one's saying FDP.
Either way,
Harry's is super convenient.
The blade refills are delivered
directly to your door
on your schedule
with or without a subscription.
I'm still getting them
and I love it.
There's no risk trying them out.
If you don't love your shave,
let them know.
Full refund.
Money back.
Listeners of our show
can redeem their Harry's trial set at harrys.com slash circling back.
You'll get a weighted ergonomic handle with a firm grip.
With a firm grip.
Sorry.
Five blade razor with lubricating strip and trimmer blade.
Rich lathering shave gel with aloe to keep your skin hydrated.
And a travel blade cover to keep your razor dry and easy to grab on the go.
Go to harrys.com slash circling back and start shaving better today.
Dave, you've got a trash or not trash for us right now, don't you?
Yeah, but hey, I was just thinking FTP kind of sounds like a normal weekend for Brett.
What is FTP?
So, yeah, I've got a trash or not trash.
Hold on.
I need to issue a retraction, by the way.
Okay.
It's OJ Anderson, who is at Barstool.
Oh, not yours truly.
Not yours truly.
Okay.
So I wanted to clear that up immediately.
What I said about the other person, it still remains true.
As does mine.
What does FTP do?
Yeah, I didn't get that one.
You know.
No.
Never mind.
We'll just move on to the segment.
Deep.
Oh, I get it.
I get it.
You're weird, man.
You're a pervert.
I'm making jokes here.
You're a pervert.
I like to keep people on their toes.
Somebody wanted to buy a sponsorship of the perv chair and email me for it.
I think it's a pretty expensive situation.
What'd they offer?
They didn't offer.
They said, what's the price on it?
Brought to you by?
We don't throw out numbers to you.
You give us numbers when it comes to the perp chair.
Yeah, we'll tell you.
The perp chair is what we say it's worth.
Damn.
Dave, what is your trash or not trash?
I can already tell it's trash
just by the look on your face.
It's not trash.
I think I'm fine.
But something I've been doing lately,
when I go take Randy for walks
or when I take him to the park,
instead of using headphones
to consume my audio,
I just play it right from the phone
as I walk around.
I've done this and honestly i kind of love it because headphones you put in the pocket sometimes sometimes i carry it and then
here's what happens i carry it for about three houses randy just drops an ultra large deuce
i have to bag it up because i'm a good neighbor and i have to carry that duke around so then i put it in my pocket drop it in your neighbor's trash can you put the duke in your
pocket don't put the duke in my pocket oh it's all squishy in there imagine now the duke does
not go in pocket will and um i've gotten some looks some neighbors or i've got you know some
neighbors who like to they're always in the garage working and stuff and doing whatever fucking people do.
No one's giving you looks for that shit.
No, I'm telling you.
Because I think they hear it
and they think that I'm talking to them.
I think it confuses people.
Because it's your voice?
You listen to your own podcast?
No, I've never listened to Circling Back like this.
I'm usually listening.
I'm usually streaming sports radio.
Dave's listening to the recordings
that he does in his office at home.
I was on a voice memo tear in my other group text this weekend why don't we get those it's just a different
audience just doesn't work for y'all that makes sense but yeah i i don't know if this is like a
trash move or not i don't think it's a trash move and because because of the setting that you're in
i mean if you're if you're around a bunch of people in a public place,
yeah, that's a shit, that's a trash move.
If you're walking the dog or you're in the park, that's no big deal.
Because you're kind of in your own little world out there.
I think I knew it wasn't trash or not trash.
I didn't know if it was weird or not.
I didn't know if people did this.
Because I like headphones.
Maybe this is weird.
Having them on, I feel like I might miss something.
This would be weirder if you were at a dog park, not just a park.
Okay.
So if you go to Zilker Park, which if you're not familiar with Austin,
it's the biggest park in Austin, right in the middle of everything.
If I'm there, I will go as far as to bring a speaker with me
and just put it down next to my stuff while I'm playing fetch with Rosie.
Boy, do you have a Bluetooth speaker?
I kind of do.
You know, I recently invested in one.
They've perked up for this one.
Yep.
What kind do you have?
Who's your maker?
I don't actually know what mine's made by.
I got it as a stocking stuffer.
It doesn't pack a lot of punch, so you can't bring it to the golf course.
Or the pool.
But it's perfect for a personal bluetooth speaker okay uh that being said i have this issue at my dog park
because i don't necessarily want to talk to people every time i'm there
but i know a lot of people at the dog park because i live next to them
some days i want to you know i'm listening to a podcast in my apartment making coffee then
rosie needs to go out and i'm like okay i'd like to keep listening to this and i want to, you know, I'm listening to a podcast in my apartment making coffee. Then Rosie needs to go out and I'm like,
okay,
I'd like to keep listening to this and I want to put my AirPods in,
but I feel like I look like a total asshole.
I walked down there and see these people I talk to every day and I have my
AirPods in.
It's just clear.
Like,
no,
I don't want to talk to you.
I don't think that that's that bad.
I think the AirPod has become very common.
I can't do it, but it's no different than having
like any other kind of headphones on right i just don't want to be the airpod guy that's
icing people out sadly it's become more socially acceptable to pull that move but that in itself
is unacceptable i agree yeah i agree it's too bad they're so prevalent now they're everywhere
did you see chrissy tegan's tweet the other day about her mom?
Nope.
Faced backlash.
Her mom apparently buys numerous AirPods a month and just loses them and throws them out.
And the mentions of that tweet are probably the most negative mentions I've seen for Chrissy Teigen.
Why? Because it's wasteful?
Yeah, because it's just...
Boastful?
She said it'd be nicer if they had cords on them,
which would just be headphones.
I don't get it.
I need to charge my AirPods before this. Because she's like flexing like,
oh, we have money to buy numerous amounts of...
Shut up, people.
Are you an AirPods?
You have the new AirPods, right, Dylan?
I have AirPods, yeah.
Do you have the new ones?
No, I will not be acquiring the new ones.
What if you encounter a 16-year-old wearing a Bape hoodie
and he sees you wearing the old ones and he bullies you?
See, that's a fear that I think you have,
but most people don't, including myself.
I'm not worried about that.
Okay.
I'm just putting it out there.
Cool teens have a minimal effect on on my psyche
unlike you because you'd bully him because i'm not afraid wait until parks is a teenager
starts bringing his friends over and they're just roasting you from the other room i'll pick
them up by the they're gonna be playing playstation 7 and you're gonna be sitting there just getting
fried pick them up by the shirt and just put them against the wall as a former cool teen
you're talking to me since retired no not you oh i said cool teen um
i get it i got it i fear i fear what like i fear that i'm gonna run into some kid that was just
like me at 16 and he's gonna i don't know he's just gonna he's gonna be at the mall sitting on
the bench with his buddies and he's gonna say some wisecrack that's actually kind of funny but very true but still just pierces me well don't you you know why i have that fear
right uh i don't believe do you have it's all stemmed from one specific experience i was in san
francisco i was in like by like hay dashberry like the whole hippie kind of Grateful Dead kind of area where like there's a bunch of sketchy people trying to offer you weed and stuff.
And I was walking out of a skate shop and I was on my phone looking down at my phone and I ran into a bike rack and just hit my nuts on the bike rack.
It's one of those ones that just sticks out of the ground that you kind of don't really see.
Which way did you hit it from though dead center did you did you t-bone it or
did you walk uh hit like the short end that's just sticking up so it went right into the groin right
into the like direct shot oh that's and so i had a bunch of san francisco cool teens just sitting
there laughing at me and it's pretty funny it was i mean yes had i seen that happen from across the
street i would have been laughing my ass off but But for me, it was so defeating. I was like, God damn it.
Did they call you any names?
No, I don't know.
I think I just scampered off.
How's your dick, old man?
Yeah.
That's pretty funny.
It was bad.
Oh, well.
I don't think you're trash for doing what you're doing, Dave.
No, you're fine, man.
Given the setting.
It'd be trash if you were doing your own podcast
and people were like, what are you listening to? And you to and you're like oh dude this is podcast i'm on i've already had to explain the
podcast thing to a couple neighbors it's fine yeah no if you're doing if you're doing that in the gym
it's a trash move oh yeah yes yeah i've been at this hasn't happened where we're at now but at
gold's gym there were dudes who i probably just forgot their headphones and
they would just pop it on put listen listen to like iron maiden or something in the squat rack
which i was like you know this doesn't bother me because i have headphones in
but it's still making me like nervous to be around you that you're the type of person who
would do that you're indoor if you indoors, you can't play anything without headphones.
That's just how it goes.
Totally agree.
FaceTiming?
Fuck out of here.
Speaking of bringing things to the gym,
in the steam room,
I've had guys
with their cell phones.
I've had guys
with newspapers
like grading papers,
professors.
Both of which I think
are absolutely insane.
What if you knew
that the paper
that your professor
handed to you
was in a steam room with him naked?
Yeah, that's weird, man.
Wait, Brett, where are you working out?
The Knox in...
Oh, this is old.
Oh, okay.
Equinox in New York City.
The Knox.
The Eek?
No one calls it either of those things.
The EQ?
Neil, Dave and I are about to join Equinox.
I don't want to hear about this dinner
that you guys are going to.
Yeah, we're not supposed
to talk about it.
It's just kind of like
a VIP dinner.
Yeah.
Yeah, sick.
Thanks for the invite.
Well, it wasn't up to us
to invite you.
You have to be Elite Austin
to get invited to this.
It's only for like
the elite high-end
Austin workout community.
Yeah.
Oh, of course.
Okay, got it.
You're just too new.
You have to establish your domicile.
That's fair.
I still don't have my license yet.
I'm going to try to knock out a deal with Equinox
where I just get the amenities.
You can't lift?
Yeah.
You're like the executive workout membership?
I'm going to get a social membership there.
If they offer that for like 45 bucks, would you do it?
45 bucks.
Yeah.
A social membership at Equinox for 45 bucks.
I would definitely consider that.
It'd be fun.
Would you play racquetball?
Yeah, I would.
Do you ever, is there racquetball at Lifetime?
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
There's multiple.
Are you fucking serious?
Yeah.
We should get, we should.
Racquetball is fun as shit and it's great work out.
Here's what's scary about racquetball.
I feel like there's every gym.
I feel like there's an old man contingent. There who will like you have to earn their respect it's like
surfing or snowboarding like we talked about last week but there's usually at least one court open
you're scared you're scared of cool teens and and old racquetball players yeah dude
old men that play racquetball are hardcore dude you're so soft that's not news to anybody yeah
true but no you know what i'm talking about i feel like there's a squad that just plays racquetball are hardcore, dude. You're so soft. That's not news to anybody. Yeah, true.
But no, you know what I'm talking about?
I feel like there's a squad that just plays racquetball,
and if you impede on their court,
like if you show up at the wrong time,
it's on sight.
It's like trying to, you know,
it's like walking onto Rucker Park.
Yeah, you got to prove yourself out there.
Yeah, we're not going to just go out there
and be like, hey, we got next.
Yeah, you can't just hop in.
Don't want to run fives?
Nah, son.
We don't know if you can ball yet. I mean mean you show up there and you try to get on their court and they just look at you and go
i don't think they do that that's exactly what happens oh no man i mean i didn't know you guys
had ragged ball that's a game changer yeah i need to see how this whole equinox situation pans out
before i can make any moves executive workout should include like two games of like moderate low to moderate like
intensity racquetball uh full steam maybe even a sauna and then a shower and then you're out of
it pretty much just means that you can't lift or use machines right that's a membership that i'm in
on not even just like
a bike with towel
around your neck?
No.
No.
No warm down.
What about the treadmill?
No, I can't do treadmill.
I love the dudes
that just hit bike.
Yeah.
They're just cycling.
They're on it for 47 minutes
and burn like 280 calories.
Yeah.
They're just trying
to get the blood flowing.
Just on a nice casual
bike through the park.
The one in Whatever
I'm going to keep doing what I do
I'm going to keep listening to
Pods and what not
This dinner is going to be tight tomorrow Dave
Dude shut up
Do you know if they're going to
I feel like there's going to be some swag
You guys are getting swag
Is it at the Equinox?
No.
It's at a private dining room.
Don't say where.
It's at Luby's.
Somewhere in Austin.
Fucker.
It's at Luby's.
I want to go to this thing so bad.
It's a multi-course meal.
Austin's...
Prefect?
Austin's finest cuisine.
Do you guys like Prefect's meals?
No.
It's going to be a bunch of wild game.
It's going to be like elk. Maybe some bison. God. Let's knuckle on meals? No. It's going to be a bunch of wild game. It's going to be like
elk, maybe some
bison.
God.
Let's knuckle on
that, dog.
That's tight.
Hell yeah.
I'm going to get a
motherfucking meal
off.
Calm down, dude.
Sorry, man.
I was thinking about
this meal.
Please chill.
Will you go live
on IG?
Don't save my email.
I think it might be
one of those eyes
wide shut situations
where you've got to be really secretive about it. Are we wearing masks and everything? Yeah, probably. It's going to turn don't save my email I think it might be like one of those eyes wide shut situations where like
you gotta be really
secretive about it
yeah
are we wearing masks
and everything
yeah probably
it's gonna turn into
a total freak fest
that's the Equinox
crowd though man
yeah we're gonna get
some you know
probably get under
the bench
do a little
you know incline
and a rep out
probably go
play some racquetball
will you guys ask for me
if they have a racquetball
court or anything
of course man the Austin Equinox is gonna lack in amenities probably go play some racquetball. Will you guys ask for me if they have a racquetball court or anything? Of course, man.
The Austin Equinox is
going to lack in
amenities.
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
Don't say that, man.
It's going to.
No, I think it's, I
don't, I, they know
they can't mess up
Austin.
There's too much
opportunity.
It's going to be like
group fitness and spa.
It's going to be their
draw.
I don't know, right?
I think you're going to
be pleasantly surprised.
No pool.
Does Equinox have like ax have their take on CrossFit?
Gold's Gym has Gold's Fit, and it's the same idea.
It's a high-intensity, the hit, whereas Dylan would say H-I-I-T.
Not going to let that go.
When did you say that?
I said it on this very podcast.
I was the mail-in.
Was it?
Maybe.
I feel like I remember Sally Roach.
I just never heard anyone actually pronounce it.
H-I-I-T.
If someone says it, it's such a quick word that you don't notice that they're saying it,
so you just move on.
H-I-I-T doesn't spell hit to me because it's double I.
If anything, it spells heat.
Yeah.
Dave, they actually do.
I'm glad you asked.
It's actually called Equal Hard Knocks.
It's just Oklahoma drills against former UT football players.
That sounds tight.
It's just Gruden making you bang on the table.
Yeah, I'm sure there's different levels and whatnot.
I've never done it.
I feel like my days of doing the Oklahoma drill are behind me.
I hope to never do the Oklahoma drill again.
Yeah.
I'll do it.
Have you ever done one?
I'll do it against Dylan. You've never done an Oklahoma drill? No Yeah. I'll do it. Have you ever done one? I'll do it against Dylan.
You've never done an Oklahoma drill?
No.
Fuck no, I haven't done one.
When would I have done one?
In my peewee football days?
Fuck no.
I didn't even touch a football.
Okay.
All right, man.
Yeah, you all good?
I'm clearly better.
I didn't play peewee football.
No, dude.
I'm better for it.
Football was not for me back in the day
it didn't look fun to play a bunch of kids just
running around swarming it didn't really look that fun
played soccer which is literally that definition
but if you had one good kid on your soccer
team which I was decent like
you could you can make a difference
I felt like with football it's just like
there's two kids that mattered in peewee
the quarterback and the running back
yeah that stays true for a Like, there's two kids that mattered in peewee. The quarterback and the running back.
Yeah.
Yeah, that stays true for a long time, too.
But the linemen like playing just because they're on a team.
Feels good.
Yeah.
See, I would have been put on the line.
That would have been... I'm pretty good at blocking, though.
I'll get under you.
Shit.
Yeah.
Yeah, you will.
Do you ever need red wine at 4 p.m.,
sushi at 9 p.m.,
and breakfast burrito at 8 a.m.
before some ibuprofen at 10 a.m.?
Pretty much every day, man.
That might be a problem we explore off the podcast.
That's okay.
I'm okay with it.
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Mm-hmm.
I should have...
Postmating the Popeye's chicken sandwich is the only way to go at this point.
Oh, shit.
It's going to be faster than actually waiting in line.
Not a bad idea, sir.
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So speaking of Dylan not being able to pronounce...
Hit.
Hit.
We have another mispronunciation in the news right now.
This one upset me.
Why?
You gonna play it?
I don't have the functionality to do that.
Do you have the functionality, David?
Y'all.
Probably.
I think I do.
That's what's up.
I forgot about The Bachelor.
Yeah, I kind of did too.
I mean, I've been kind of keeping up with a few of them,
but mostly I've been avoiding them a little bit yeah uh now that i know tasha and jpj are just done it's kind of like what
am i doing here i feel like the um we're at the pinnacle of bachelor contestants being famous
like instagram famous so i'm starting to have some
internal backlash toward them even the people that i like before i'm kind of finding them annoying
and i don't know why i think it's just overexposure yeah and it's a lot of like them just
hawking shit which i mean i guess we do a lot of that too but i don't know no we don't we're dope
we're not famous enough to
hock it in the way they do. We have to actually grind and produce
content around it. Yeah, we have to earn it, man. Yeah, we can't just put it
on our story like they can. They're using
the rep to do it. That's it. You guys remember
Hannah G, right? Oh, Dylan remembers
Hannah G. What does that mean?
You thought she was gorgeous.
She's very attractive. She's the one that you...
No, never mind. That was Brie.
God. Here we go god here we go are we playing this clip so let's get some let's give some perspective i'm trying to find a source that's not cosmo i
like to boycott cosmo yeah fuck cosmo uh hannah was making dinner from trader joe's as these
lifestyle bloggers do.
She was... Was this spawn?
Hashtag spawn?
I don't know if it was spawn.
If it was spawn,
then they are getting all the exposure for it.
Is she actually playing checkers
while we're all playing chess?
You mean the other way around?
Don't know.
What's harder?
Chess.
I mean, it depends on your strategy.
You never know.
There's a lot more strategy in chess.
No, dude, you just never know.
We'll play as Connect Four.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
I'm a Scrabble guy.
Everyone knows that.
I want to face off with you.
In Scrabble?
Yeah.
You talk a big game.
I want to play.
Come on, dog.
Hey, lads, you guys want some audio?
Yeah, let's do it.
Yeah, hit it.
You guys, a little easy dinner using this cauliflower nosh.
You guys, little easy dinner using this cauliflower nosh.
Okay.
Nosh.
The visual helps because as she's saying it,
she points under the word like as if she's sounding it out.
And just the high-pitched question mark end to it is just chef's kiss.
Will you spell the word that she was trying to say?
G-N-O-C-C-H-I.
The high pitch at the end?
Nosh?
It helps her case here because it shows uncertainty
correct um because if she if she delivered it with authority it'd be like yo you're so
fucking wrong and you're extra annoying because of it at least she was like maybe that's how you
say it the only thing that would have made this better is if she would have called it ganaki
ganaki how did she not say ganaki that's
i can't believe she didn't say that she was smart enough to know that the g was silent
clearly unfamiliar with the uh my people there's so many things i don't understand about this like
one you have 1.5 million followers and you're gonna put this on your story knowing that you're
wrong about something just Just look it up.
There are words that I don't know how to say
before like recording Sunday Scaries or something.
And I like YouTube them and listen to how to say them
just so I don't get it wrong.
I feel like that happened like weekly on spooky season for me.
Dude, it's so hard.
And furthermore, if there's anyone that is in the wheelhouse
of eating Trader Joe's cauliflower gnocchi every single night,
it is Hannah G from The Bachelor.
She is their target
market for that exact product.
She said no. How does she not
know this? Those things are like
the hottest thing on the streets right now. Probably not
a super bright young lady.
Oh, wow. Is she still with
Dylan? The other Dylan? Yeah. Dylan Barber?
That guy stinks, man.
People are calling him Alpha Dylan. He's fine. He's that guy stinks people calling him alpha Dylan he's
fine he's he's a he's a nice dude he has he has nothing there's nothing to him he didn't have a
personality they did such a male in couples costume for Halloween too they were Sandy and
Danny which is perfect for them because they they have no that actually they both kind of it's a it
works for their persona.
I feel like they could have,
like they're loaded
and they probably have Halloween companies
throwing costumes at them.
Like do something tight.
Oh yeah, I didn't know.
Their conversation on that show,
on The Bachelor in Paradise,
just consisted of him telling her
how much he liked her.
Oh my God, I like you so much.
She did not want to accept that ring
when he proposed to her at all.
Oh, they got engaged?
Mm-hmm.
Did you see that Nick Vile
went as Peter the Bachelor
with the pilot outfit
and like a band-aid on his head?
Why is he doing that?
Nick Vile is like...
That's such a grab for fame.
He's a tier one Bachelor Nation person.
He shouldn't be dressing up
as other Bachelor Nation people.
Especially as like a former...
What was he, the Bachelor, five times?
I feel like he's been on the show so many damn times.
I have to say, he kind of crushed it, though.
So, shout out to Nick.
You know I'm team Nick.
I've been riding for Nick for a minute.
I'm team Nick.
Everybody hated him when he came back, but I liked him.
No, it was awesome.
He's the only contestant to
shut down when he just didn't like somebody yeah i mean he was clearly disgusted with people yeah
he was just like okay like stop stop fucking talking like he didn't entertain him like uh
ari you know and it was like fake it was like he was just like yeah okay he would just ignore you
a lot of times he would just embarrass people. Fucking just dunking on chicks.
Okay.
Oh, man.
What?
Nothing.
Wasn't there some Ari news recently that was, like, really weird?
Yeah, I think he sold his agency.
That guy stinks, too, man.
What did he do?
He did something weird.
I think he said something fucked up to E.
He did something weird on his story,
and everyone was like,
oh, dude, Ari, go away, creep.
That was funny, Dave.
I think he couldn't get Johnny Drama apart in a show.
Yeah, didn't he shoot his assistant
with a Nerf gun at his desk?
Yeah, it was really weird.
That's crazy.
He said something homophobic to Lloyd.
crazy he said something homophobic to lloyd does do that does does his like conversations with lloyd hold up in 2019 no that wasn't that
long ago on track they were really aggressive for then yeah that's why i think that's why people
liked it yeah because it was progressive it was like the first time on tv that we saw dudes our age like talking how we how we talked oh what do you mean we talked pretty i mean 15 years ago people were
saying things that we didn't say now because no one knew any better okay like a nosh we let yeah
no no no no are there any like okay we talked about cut board yeah what's the one that the
thing that i just straight up
didn't even know what it was on Spooky Season?
It was like a bedroom piece of furniture.
A sconce.
A sconce.
A sconce.
That's a weird word.
That's hard.
I swear to God, I've never seen that word in print.
And I can't remember if I'd ever heard of it.
I didn't know what it was.
It's okay, man.
Look, you're big enough to admit it.
Sconce!
I went to Ikea
and bought a sconce
for my lad.
That's how you would say it
in theory.
Well, okay.
It's gotta be French, right?
Yeah, it's hard to say.
Okay.
I kind of like it
as an insult.
Like, hey Dylan,
you fucking sconce.
Yeah, you fucking sconce.
That sounds like something
a dude from Southie would say.
I don't know if that plays, man. Hey Dylan, you fucking sconce. Oh, you guys sconce. That sounds like something a dude from Southie would say. I don't know if that plays, man.
Hey, Dylan, you fucking sconce.
Oh, you guys are total sconces.
How would a Canadian say it?
Oh, hey, Dylan.
What's up?
You wouldn't say sconce.
Do you guys...
Yeah, Canadians do not know what sconces are.
And that's a compliment to Canadians.
Was this a big one up in the Northeast calling people a squid?
Yeah.
Not huge, but it's out there.
Brett says it.
Dave, do you want the history of the word sconce?
Yeah.
Derived from Latin, it collaboed with Old French back in the day.
And now the word sconce has been born in late Middle English.
The more you know.
Cool.
Is it Skanska?
That's like a
international shipping
magnate or conglomerate?
Do not know.
Who are you looking at right now for an answer?
You're the ombudsman.
You're on your own on this one, pal.
Man, you can't do it. I'm sorry. I got nothing.
It is, so fuck you guys.
What is it?
Skansa?
A multinational construction and development company based in Sweden.
The fifth largest construction company in the world.
Their logo is on a bunch of shipping containers.
They probably do numbers.
Oh, they do.
$145.4 billion in Swedish money.
We're not there yet.
What's Sweden on?
The Krona?
Is that right?
I believe the Krona, the Krona, the Krona, or the Euro.
I'm more of a soul guy.
Maybe a Dos Equis.
That's my currency.
What? What were you trying to go with there? that's my currency um what I don't know
what were you trying to go with there
are you making a Cronenberg joke right now
I think you were saying Corona maybe but
you were saying that
yeah it was close enough to get it
but
man
Dylan if you're going to continue this podcast
you need to get on my level I don't think I want to be on your level being a fucking sconce dude
i'm not you're kind of being you're a dim-ass sconce right now i disagree
you know what i just noticed about your beard that it's terrible your soul patch is one of
the thickest soul patches like it's really, like mine is only like two or three,
like maybe like an inch long.
Yours goes under your entire lip.
I'm all stash and soul patch.
That's it.
Well, it's weird.
When you grow a beard,
your soul patch grows outward kind of.
And so it looks really long at times.
Teresa just trimmed mine up today actually.
Nice. Not to flex. Maybe I'll just be a soul patch guy it's a great look when are you going full mustache do it for the wedding
i might yeah why not do it for a wedding should i i don't hate mexico dylan rocking a stash
should i fuck around and do it i there's there's no like you're not gonna nothing bad's
gonna happen right instagram lights are gone now so you're fine there you don't have to worry about
are they gone officially no just probably like get rid of these things
dylan's thinking right now i am i'm saying i thinking. Yeah. Bring your Harry's. Promo code circling back.
Just bring your Harry's razor and just see what happens.
My mustache is thick.
It's a good stache.
It is.
And I like the way that it trails down.
It's like, I'm jealous of your stache.
Really?
Are you kidding?
Look at your shit.
No, my stache is kind of.
Your stache has like edge to it.
Whereas mine, if I shave, it's just an old man stache.
Just a thick ass man stache.
Yeah. Like it just, itache. I look like a fucking
90s sitcom character.
That dude's got facial hair. Look at that. Look how thick that shit is.
I'm a thick boy. Have you always been blessed
with that quality?
Honestly, I'm not sure.
Growing up, when I first hit
puberty, I definitely had the stache
kind of thing going that I'd shave a lot
because I was hypersensitive about it because I was one of the first people in my class with it
so i would shave that all the time and then the older i got i never really grew a beard that
often and then when i grew a beard for the red wings playoff beard contest that's when i was
like oh your boy's got a beard on him that's the first time he went like thick boy yeah that's the
first time i went more than two weeks without shaving. So
I'm 25. I like having
the beard look for myself. It's not thick enough.
Do I have any hope?
You have hope.
I feel like you should get a girlfriend before you
grow a beard though. Jesus.
Okay.
Because what if it goes bad?
You can get thicker.
I know I can.
Being a 25-year-old, it can still thicken.
Okay.
Because I feel like mine was, not that I know I don't.
No, dude.
It was much worse at 25.
Got it.
Okay.
Than it is now.
I'll know by like 31, 32 what I'm doing.
I like having a little bit of just scruff.
You're a scruff boy.
So is Dave now.
Dave's scruff.
Dave's scruff you're scruff boy so is dave now dave scruff dave scruff yeah uh hey brett what happened with this gender reveal uh yeah hey people just stop doing
gender reveals this one uh in in uh dave where's turkey texas i told you earlier
earlier he said it's next to rooster. That was a good day.
Yeah, dude.
It's turkey killing season.
That's the end.
So in Turkey, Texas, somebody decided to have...
Can I guess where it is?
Sorry.
Yeah.
I'm going to guess Panhandle.
By the looks of this one picture, it looks like you're probably correct.
What's that supposed to mean?
It's desolate.
Oh, it is Panhandle.
Fuck yeah.
Southern side.
Somebody decided to go up in a plane and release hundreds of gallons of pink water
to signal that they're having a girl.
Turns out the plane was maneuvering
at a low altitude too slow
and it stalled out and crashed.
So, hey, look, I'm having a girl.
He's dead. But he's not dead. He's not dead. He's not dead. So, hey, look, I'm having a girl. He's dead.
But he's not dead.
He's not dead.
He's not dead.
Yeah, he's alive.
To be clear, we had to clear whether or not the pilot was alive
before we did this story.
They dropped colored water?
Yeah, colored water, like a crop duster dropped colored pink water.
What a bunch of idiots.
What a bunch of idiots.
You got to think that daughter's's gonna be named like Lakin
or, you know, some Texas
crop duster.
Pilot survived, right?
Pilot survived and so did his co-pilot.
But the airplane
sustained damage to the fuselage,
the right wing,
and the, looks like empanada
at first glance, but it's empanage.
I don't know what that is. It would be weird if
the empanadas got damaged. It'd be weird
if they reported on that. Yeah, he
had just gotten some empanadas from a place down the street.
They were lost in the flames.
It was just munching.
In West Texas, you can probably roll up to
an empanada place in a plane, though, I'd imagine.
Land your plane, go out
and get some empanadas. Somewhere outside of Lubbockock you just kind of i don't i feel like the infrastructure is not
there for that but with like the big like bouncy tires you can't land on most flat surfaces well
it is very flat out there it's it's pretty rugged terrain you don't want to mess with the uh the
scruff out there you don't want to mess with that scruff out there. You don't want to mess with that scruff.
You'd rather go chopper.
Take a chopper to get some empanadas.
I can't remember the last time I had
some empanadas. You could take a car too.
You could just take a vehicle. There's many
different types of transportation.
What's the key ingredient to an empanada?
What's the difference between
an empanada and an enchilada?
Did you say enchilada? I'm sorry?ada and an enchilada? Did you say enchilada?
I'm sorry?
What's an enchilada?
Chicken enchilada.
Hannah G over here.
An enchilada?
Yeah, an enchilada.
Oh, my God.
You said enchilada.
You said enchilada, dog.
Chicken enchilada.
Fuck.
You're so New York.
I don't know what you fill an empanada with But it's a breakfast
It's a breakfast food
Yeah an empanada is more of a calzone
Whereas an enchilada is just like a taco
Rolled up and covered in sauce
And the insides fill with just all sorts of dopeness
They look terrible for you
But they look amazing too
Yeah they're tasty
You gotta look out for those calzones
They're just harnessing the grease
No but they're bigger Is there anything more defeating than being at a restaurant ordering
ravioli and they bring out like three big raviolis instead of like a bunch of them no that's top
three worst feelings of all time i hate it it's like no i want more than these three raviolis
right here even if it's filling it just doesn't look filling dylan did you do a uh gender reveal
for the homie? No.
Did you know before he was born what he was going to be?
Yeah, so we had our doctor write down the gender in an envelope or on a piece of paper, put an envelope and seal it.
And then Dallas and I went and had dinner that night
and we opened it, just us two together.
Did you get drunk before doing it?
We had drinks at dinner i wasn't like
pounding no i wasn't like nervous or anything it was just an exciting time did you guys do like uv
blue shots after or not dogs but we didn't do anything anything uh wild like that yeah i heard
you had a bottle of hypnotic that you popped open right after we did drink a lot of hypnotic though
yeah you're a big hypnotic and soda guy you guys falling up on the empanada thing
they're generally filled with like beef or some shit yeah i'm looking at like it's like a pastry
outside and then inside you just put like a just an assortment of meats maybe some it's like a
fried burrito kind of right a little bit yeah it's basically the latin american calzone i don't know
what came first but i'm gonna make empanadas at some point.
They're also common in Filipino cultures.
Also about the calzone,
one of the top five foods that makes you just feel like death.
It's the grease.
It's because it traps all the grease.
It's worse for you than pizza.
It's like eating like...
It's like getting two really deep dish pizzas,
like slices,
and just putting them on top
of each other and sealing them with like a blow torch and eating it was it you and i having a
conversation were you and i having a conversation about dp dough excuse me was that not you dp dough
d period p period dough yeah it wasn't me damn it it's essentially a calzone company that you
would order late night.
50% of the time you fell asleep before it got there.
The other 50% of the time you burned your mouth and woke up the next morning with a box in your dorm room just filled with like half-eaten calzones. We were talking about burning the roof of our mouth, though, with the French bread pizzas that are like six inches long.
Dude, the Red Baron.
I had Stou I had myself,
but Stouffer's went hard.
Red Baron.
I had the little red Barons,
the little circles that,
uh, in college I had probably a hundred of those.
Like it was like four years ago.
Yeah,
it was four years ago.
And like,
no,
remember the micro fridges.
Do you guys have those?
Where's a mini fridge with a microwave?
I'm more of a macro. I'm more of a macro fridge guy okay wait the fridge had a microwave
on top of it yeah it might have been a new development never seen one of those yeah we're
too old for that what do you got you guys that's something you get at like that modern man place
where you can get like the coffee table that has a a fridge under it and you pull it out
get your yeah do you get this from brookstone no sharper image this sounds like a sharper image deal did you buy this in an airport
uh no no no and no but everybody got the option of them uh when they moved into our dorm freshman
year fill out the form and for like 200 bucks what kind of life are you living over here you're
getting your gym clothes laundered in high school you're getting microwaves attached to your damn
refrigerators in college must be nice being brett merriman i think it's nice just growing up like
10 years after you guys it's marion oh yeah like sean right yeah um that's weird there's a sean
marion and a sean merriman that's not that weird i mean professional athletes it's kind of weird
it is weird i don't know the difference between them.
No, Sean Marion's a basketball player, right?
Yeah.
Former Maverick.
And Marion has lights out.
He's the Matrix.
Was Sean Marion the one that had like...
The weird shot.
Yes.
Like he didn't leave the ground.
But he also was just a beast of a defender,
a rebound machine,
and he could throw down in his day.
Go watch some more highlights of him on the Suns.
He shot free throws like...
I can't wait to go do that.
He shot free throws like this.
He would just, like, from right here, from his hip.
It was so funny.
A vital part of that title team in 2011.
Just a classic role player.
Matt, the Matrix.
That's a great nickname.
He didn't deserve the nickname, the Matrix.
No, dude.
He earned it in Phoenix.
Okay.
Him and Amari Stoudemire and Steve Nash,
he was throwing it down.
I watched way too much of the...
Too many of those Phoenix games back in the day.
I'm so bummed they never won a title.
Yeah, kind of lame.
That being said, I'm not a big Steve Nash guy, so...
He's kind of a twerp.
Are you mad because you want to be the American...
I guess Steve's Canadian,
but you want to be the soccer guy
who's not involved in soccer,
but they let you do analysis,
and they gave it to Steve Nash instead.
Yeah.
For some reason.
I guess he's just a super fan.
He is really good at soccer.
To his credit, he's very, very good.
I think he could have gone pro at a low level.
I think he's probably one of those guys
that's just good at every sport.
Just very coordinated.
So co-owner of the Gem Saloon.
Yeah, what's up with that?
Why are we talking about Steve Nash so much lately?
That's your favorite bar in New York?
Correct, favorite bar in New York.
Okay.
Go to 27th and 3rd, Gem Saloon.
As for Sean, good guy.
Tell him Brett sent you.
Sean Marion?
I probably won't do that.
Do it, Dorn.
Nah, I probably won't.
Why not?
I don't know.
Okay.
I don't know.
Hey, do you guys want to get
figgy with it real quick?
Sure, man.
Dave?
Yeah, I don't think I have a choice.
I'd love to.
I think there's something all of us can agree
on nurses doctors dentists and people who work in medicine and health care they're pretty awesome
yeah yeah and all of us can think of a time when a medical professional helped us or a family member
oh yeah these amazing people dedicate their lives to caring for and serving others shouldn't these
amazing people wear scrubs and make them feel good what these amazing people do every day is more than just a job and what they
wear is more than a uniform shouldn't they wear scrubs that help them feel good and perform at
their best i think they should yeah i've been saying it for years they need to up their game
thank god for figs figs has done that i'm not i mean i'm pulling back the curtain
sally has one pair of figs and every time i fold them i say'm not, I mean, I'm pulling back the curtain. Sally has one pair of
figs. And every time I fold them, I say to her, I'm like, I'm like, are these just your favorite?
She's like, yeah, I absolutely love them. And I'm like, should I get a pair of these? Just wear
around the house and stuff. I don't want to steal the valor, but at the same time, like I kind of
want some myself. I'm like cop. They're an amazing company that is making scrubs stylish and
functional again for people who deserve it the most. this all these years they just have this crappy fabric feels like sandpaper
it looks like it's bad on the skin they do the issue with these scrubs and i've folded enough
in my life to know the difference between these like these other crappy brands they just have
like the drawstring that you can't even do not these ones they have this elastic waistband that
just fits perfectly sounds
comfortable man dude they're great you know what they also give back every time you shop at figs
they give scrubs to health care providers in need around the world through their threads for threads
initiative we're pro initiative here well dave and i are i'm not sure about dylan how are you
initiatives still working on those, huh? Mm-hmm.
To date, they've donated hundreds of thousands of sets in over 35 countries.
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That's S-T-E-A-M.
Christmas is coming.
Hey, I'm going to-
This is a good gift for those in your life.
It is a good gift, man.
Can't get here soon enough.
Can't.
Hey, how about this?
How about I issue everyone an ultimatum?
Do the fig challenge.
And it's where you just show up to your doctor's office or dentist's office or whatever
and just gift them with some figs that you ordered.
Say, hey, thank you for what you do.
Here are some figs.
You guys are about to look a lot hotter.
If you can't afford to do that,
buying your doctor figs,
at least give them our promo code.
Dude, yes, that would be a better fig challenge. Which is steam. Next least give them our promo code. Dude, yes.
That would be a better fig challenge.
Which is steam.
Yeah.
Next time you're in the doctor's office,
just take a video of you telling your doctor that.
If I get that video, I'll give you...
I'll match it.
15% off of your purchase at watchmedia.com.
Done.
Wow.
You're going to match it.
Huge.
Wow.
You personally from your... You will defreeze no no
this will be from the washed media account yeah don't look at me dave weren't you i am looking
at you weren't you taking videos in uh wesley dermatology i was not no no okay what were you
there for? What?
I thought you put it on your Instagram.
When I went last time about four years ago.
Add me on the group.
I had a, oh, that kid just fucking kills me.
It ruins my train of thought.
He's so funny.
I had a little cyst on my back that I had removed.
Ooh, did they pop it?
Thanks for bringing that up, Dave.
No, Brett brought it up.
They did it surgically.
Actually, they just cut it clean off.
I've had that happen.
Not with a cyst, more of a mole guy.
Did they freeze it?
They do that with moles, I guess.
Did you cryogenically freeze your mole?
They do that with warts.
Why do they freeze them off?
Not like after they remove it,
they put it in a freezer. No, no, no. To off. After they remove it, they put it in a freezer.
To remove it.
They just numbed a little part of my back and just
cut that. I didn't even feel it.
Dude, they love it.
Dermatologists love cutting stuff off people.
It's weird.
The look on my dermatologist's face
when she sees that she gets to take a mole off me
is like Christmas morning.
It's like I brought her a new pair of fucking figs.
Wow.
She gets so excited.
It creeps me out.
It's like the Dr. Pimple Popper.
Yeah.
They get really excited about doing like that stuff.
I don't understand.
I'm one of those people.
If I see one of those videos, I can't look away.
I can't.
I can't watch them.
I won't follow any account that has it but if I stumble upon
a video that has that I always watch it
yeah they're pretty exciting
I'll do the turn my head and kind of watch out of the corner
of my eye move
girls just love popping zits on
on you it's so weird
as a dude with two older sisters
they would just pin me down when I was a kid and just go to town
on me
it is a satisfying feeling to pop a zit,
but I can't imagine doing it to somebody else
and possibly getting the stuff on your hands.
What stuff?
What is even inside it?
Just say it.
It's called sebum.
No, no, no, but what's it called?
What?
Are you trying to get at something?
Because I'm not going to get there.
No, no, no, I just wanted to hear how you said the word pus.
Pus.
I was hoping that would...
I was going to say scuzz.
I believe the actual term is sebum.
Yeah, I think that is a scientific term,
but pus is something.
Sebum.
It's also an all-time bad word.
Pus?
Not bad as in you'll go to the principal's office
for saying it.
Maybe you will if you call somebody that.
Or if you mispronounce it.
But it's bad as in like moist.
People have a problem with that word or damp.
Moist, damp, panties.
Sebum is an oily secretion of the sebaceous glands.
Don't say secretion on this podcast ever again.
Secretion.
Okay.
Fatty lubricant matter secreted by sebaceous glands of the skin. This is gross. We're going to stop.
Didn't they used to call you fatty
lubricant back in the day?
I don't think they did.
I know. I've gained a little bit of weight. Stop.
I saw you in the gym today. You didn't look that
bad.
What a compliment.
You didn't look that bad.
No, you looked fine.
Let's do this weekend in fun.
We all have the same weekend yeah what can I do
this is gonna be
an easy one
well no we don't really
have the same weekend
we're kind of
on different wavelengths
for a little bit
yeah
yeah so Friday
I'll just speak for myself
and then I'll pass it to Dave
so Friday
I will be going to
Cabo
San Lucas
Cabo San Lucas Cabo. San Lucas?
Cabo San Lucas.
Cabo San Lucas.
We have, it is the Lily Drew wedding weekend.
We're all going, minus Brett.
Friday night, I have a dinner.
I'm third wheeling it.
It's going to be me and Dave and Alyssa.
That's exciting.
Just hop on Bubble.
Oh, I didn't know you were still going to the... I'm jealous of where you guys are going.
Hey, you could find yourself a little...
Senorita?
What are you saying?
Mommy?
I'm kidding.
You're going to a dope-ass restaurant.
I am jealous.
Four Farms?
Yes.
I know nothing about it.
Their pizza goes hard.
Their cocktails go hard.
You got to get there a little early and walk around.
I don't know if they have any empanadas, but it's worth asking.
I'll be honest.
I don't really...
I know the pizza's probably good, but I'm not going down there to eat pizza.
Get a table pizza.
Don't make it your main thing.
Just get a table pizza.
Hey, this is my weekend and fun, all right?
My weekend and fun.
Saturday morning, Dave and I are waking up, and we're hitting the links.
We're playing golf at Cabo del Sol Desert Course because the Ocean Course is under
renovation. Did you know that? Wow.
No. So you're not playing it either,
pal. I bet you thought you were. No one told us.
No one told me this. Maybe, hey, maybe
somebody should, whoever the best man is,
If you think I'm not calling the groom the second I leave
this studio, you're crazy.
I called up there today
because I booked it for the Desert Course.
I want to switch it over. He goes, ah, you can't do that, sir.
It is closed for renovations until the 25th of November.
Maybe they're letting them do it because it's a private party.
I doubt it.
It's got to be.
Yeah, there's somebody famous down there playing it for the week.
Oh, yeah.
For the next two weeks?
Yeah.
No course closes down for two weeks.
It's probably Kenny G.
That's not true.
I'm going to guess Bill Gates.
Austin Country Club closed down for a very long time, and they just...
That's what I mean.
It's either a day or six months.
The two weeks is a weird time.
Maybe they're punching the greens or something.
How do you know it hasn't been closed down for the past four months?
Yeah, bitch.
I would assume you know when you try to book,
or when the wedding was going down, wedding planning,
somebody would have been informed about that.
I'm pretty sure Will doesn't know where they're playing.
I'm sending a text right now.
The fact of the matter is I only play Ocean Course.
We're playing some golf.
We're playing golf, and I'm really excited about it.
We have the wedding Saturday night.
Sunday, it's going to be, I don't know, beach, pool, get drunk day.
If you need golf balls, I suggest you get them here.
And don't buy them in the Cabo Del Sol Pro Shop.
I will acquire them.
Or golf shoes.
I'll acquire them stateside.
Not to at anyone, any of our friends,
but you can really do some damage in their pro shop.
I'm going to get a hat, shirt, some other stuff.
I'll get the homie something. Okay. Wow stuff. I get the homie something.
Wow.
I get the homie something.
I mean, yeah, because we're playing in such a large group,
I get a reduced rate for the tee time that I've already paid.
I might just go dumb in that pro shop acting like I'm just paying for another round.
Cool, man.
Yeah.
All right.
What else are you doing, Dylan?
I'm paying full price.
That's it, man.
I'll pass to Dave now.
Dave, here, bounce pass. That's it, man. I'll pass to Dave now. Dave. Here, bounce pass.
That was so not wet.
Okay.
Pretty much what he said.
Yeah, you guys are literally doing the exact same thing all weekend.
Yeah, I'm very interested to see what Friday looks like.
I'm going to get in there in the morning.
I don't know what people are going to be doing.
I know y'all have the rehearsal dinner.
Are people going to be at the hotel pool?
I would think so.
You would think so.
I'm going to get down there, get some early vitamin D in.
From the sun, that is.
And hopefully get a little color for the wedding.
Don't get burned.
Because I'm a pale boy.
Don't get burned.
I'm going to try to get burned before the wedding. You get burned pale boy don't get burned i'm gonna try to get burned before the wedding
put out the vibe pretty you get burned pretty easy i'm going no i just i just look i look
burned very easily that's what i'm saying i get red you get burned without the baggage of like
the third degree burn yeah i don't have to apply any like aloe to it or anything i'm pretty chill
i'm going no screen all weekend you can do that you're You're privileged. You're going no screen?
Sunscreen, that is.
Yeah, I understand
what that is.
We're obviously recording
this episode on Tuesday
for a Wednesday release.
This is my Friday right now.
Wow.
Must be nice.
I'm heading to Cabo
tomorrow morning.
I guess I was just done
with my weekend and fun.
Oh, sorry.
I was done.
We're hitting a hotel first
before going to the
house for the weekend?
This is news to me. So I guess I'm chilling
at the hotel pool all day. Our hotel?
No, different one.
Honestly, I don't even know which one it is, but I know it's not yours.
I wish it was. Our hotel looks pretty dope.
And then Thursday is
the day.
All the wedding parties getting together and we're going
to Mango Deck deck that's
where they have like drinking contests and stuff mangle deck mango deck mango deck like the like
the fruit i like mangle deck they have a guy there that can just drink beers it's like insanely fast
and so he's the guy that they like randomly quote choose from the crowd to like be a part of the
beer drinking contest and he just dominates people there's a guy there every night just pounding beers as part of a contest?
They have different
contests at all times. They have wet t-shirt contests
and shit. I might join one. How do you say shoe in Spanish?
Zapatillo? Zapato.
Yeah, Zapato. Is Zapato nice?
Zapato. What?
Shoe nice. Okay.
No, it's pretty amazing how fast he can chug beers though.
Come on, dog. But we're going to that.
Then yeah, Friday playing golf. 40-man 40 man golf outing well that sounds like a lot of fun man i wish i
wish you guys were going to be there wish we had a time machine would have been nice to uh
hop in on that we're doing scrambies that's fine dylan and i keep our own score sunday is actually
the day hell yeah keeping our handicaps and shit i think sunday is actually the day oh sunday's the
day uh you have you checked the day. Have you checked
the forecast?
The rain that was
originally scheduled
or predicted,
forecasted?
Cleared out.
Ha!
Boom.
Everything's working
out for us.
Catch me at the pool,
my chubbies will.
Doing content.
Are you just going
to be drinking beers,
getting wasted?
Drinking beers,
getting wasted.
Yeah, we got nothing
to do Sunday,
so the whole squad's just going to go to your guys' pool, and I'm going to put a bunch, getting wasted. That's tight. Yeah, we got nothing to do Sunday, so the whole squad's just going to go
to your guys' pool, and I'm going to put a bunch of
drinks on your tab, and
maybe Venmo you later, maybe not.
Welcome to 12 Miami Vice.
That could be either of us,
David. I limit myself
to one, just the sugar, man. I can't take it anymore.
Can one of
y'all make sure Will blights out in
my absence? It's not going to be a problem.
We can take care of that for you.
Thank you.
Friday's ripe for me to take things a little too far.
Are we meeting up with y'all after we go to dinner?
Goddamn right we are, David.
Yeah, dog.
I'm about to pop bottles at motherfucking Squid Row.
Damn.
I'm sorry.
I've never been to a club in Cabo.
I wouldn't hate doing it.
We're all in Cabezo Watch, though. Damn. I'm sorry. I've never been to a club in Cabo. I wouldn't hate doing it. We're all in Cabezo Watch, though.
Yeah.
Brett, do you have any breaking news?
You know what?
I will say this.
When I was at Squid Row, I encountered some guys.
We did encounter some ne'er-do-wells.
And they were just creepy American dudes.
And they were lurking outside of our big group.
Did I ever tell that story? And I went up to them, and I were like, they were just creepy American dudes. And they were like lurking outside of our big group. Did I ever tell that story?
And I got, I went up to them and I was like, they kept trying to come over and like get beers out of our thing.
And like, they're clearly looking for like, talk to girls.
I was like, dude, it's a private deal, man.
I basically pulled a Joe Burrow, told him they had to go.
And the guy, like one of the guys like bucked up to me.
He was pretty big.
He's like, oh yeah, you're going to make us?
And I was like, I was like, fuck, I was not expecting that.
And like one of the dudes who was with our party, i just met was supposed to like be with me and he was a bigger dude he was like over there talking to his wife or something
so i'm just sitting here i'm like look man i pulled that one and he's like here's what's gonna
happen we're gonna sit here we're gonna hang out and we're gonna pick off one of your girls
they said what and i was like dude that is
that is uh pretty uh aggressive kind of rapey bro and yeah dude chill luckily enough the uh
we actually had some security guards and they had them leave but geez yeah i was like don't say pick
okay i was positive that that story was going to end with dylan somehow trying to snake beers from your table. No, no, no.
That's 100% how I thought it was ending.
Anyway. What's up, Brett?
My weekend, I'm not doing anything because I'm not going to Cabo.
You should have just gone first. Yeah, we don't care about your weekend, really. Sounds like a sick weekend.
I'm not doing much. Anyway, Will, I'm glad you asked about the
breaking news. I have three topics today.
Are you really not doing anything this weekend?
Yeah, I have no plans.
That's tight, though.
Why don't you play golf?
With who?
A backer.
One of the guys in my phone that I'm supposed to play golf with that have never materialized.
Dave's got some numbers for you.
Next Saturday, Dave is playing golf at Eisenhower's with backers.
You want to go extraterrestrial objects, podcasts, or Dallas-based companies?
Jesus.
This is like my wheelhouse.
Was A, extraterrestrial objects?
Yeah.
Nothing really crazy, just a meteor in St. Louis that was kind of tight on Twitter.
I don't know if you all saw.
I saw that.
That was lit, literally.
Missed it.
It went hard.
It did.
It looked like the Russian one from a couple years ago that lit up the sky pretty aggressively oh the one that hit
the ground yeah and things but nothing was affected in st louis just remember hail bop
nope yeah heaven's gate cult hell hell bop mass suicide i was a big hail bop guy weren't you
almost in heaven's gate cold but like they kicked you out. I'm closer to what's it called? Scientology.
In podcast news, Rudy Giuliani is considering launching an impeachment podcast.
Oh, dude, that's going to do numbers.
Oh, yeah.
That'll do numbers.
They said he wants to set the record straight from his side of the story.
Dude, I don't.
I will. Sadly, I will listen to that.
Dude, he's going to indict himself
and do something stupid
and end up fucking himself over.
Oh, you mean like he's done about seven times
in the last year?
This is such a bad idea.
Dude, I almost think it's part of the game plan.
Yeah, he's got...
This has to be like an effort.
It's a long con. Yeah. You said he's got this has to be like a an effort it's a long con yeah um he said he's gonna have
to have attorney general william barr on one of the episodes i feel like that should not happen
you should have roseanne bar on instead yeah i'd rather hear rose i'd rather hear the bar baby
himself big mo hey um did i ever tell you i met him in a Brooks Brothers outlet in San Marcos?
Rudy Giuliani?
True story, yeah.
No shit.
Yeah.
It was when he was gearing up to run for president.
And it was before he dropped out.
Remember, he was riding hot from 9-11.
He was America's mayor and all that shit.
And then it just turned out he was just scum.
Was he in there with Dylan shopping for shit?
No, Dylan was not with him.
That would have been tight.
Just a night on the town with Rudy Giuliani and San Marcos.
I shook his hand.
I said, hey, big fan.
No shit.
It was like 2007.
Everybody was a big fan at that point.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, and sad Dallas news, Dylan.
Dean Foods, a Dallas-based milk company, has declared bankruptcy.
What?
Oh, God darn it.
They are the America's biggest milk processor.
Yeah, they make great milk.
Yeah, and what happened?
Hey, what do you think, Will?
We should buy them.
Apparently a decades-long...
Did they freeze all their cows?
They had an unfortunate cow freezing accident.
They forgot to hose them down last night.
Hey, are they doing a...
Which bankruptcy is it?
Chapter 11.
Okay.
So it's lined up about $850 million
in financing from its lenders.
Yikes.
Which is tough.
Yeah, you know,
shouts to Dean Foods.
They were the number one.
Now they're blaming a decades-long slide
in American milk consumption.
Why don't you slide?
Since 1975, Dylan, milk consumption is down 40%.
That stinks.
I definitely drink less milk.
Me too.
That stinks.
I used to drink a pint glass a night with dinner, and I don't do that anymore, and it's unfortunate.
Dylan, if you're trying to stack gains, you need to drink more milk, buddy.
I'm trying to lose weight, Dave.
You know that right now.
The reason I didn't break my foot when I got run over by that car that we talked about
on Worst Weekends is because I drank hella milk at the time.
Dave, I'm up to like 201, dog.
Yikes.
I've become a full almond milk guy.
Dude, almond milk, outside of putting it in a smoothie, it sucks.
No, I love almond milk.
You know what I've been putting in it?
I like it in coffee because it adds a little kind of almond flavor to it, a smoothie, it sucks. No, I love almond milk. You know what I've been putting in it? I like it in coffee
because it adds a little kind of almond flavor to it,
but it's overall trash.
I like it.
A little hint of nut.
I like it.
I'm a tiny nut boy.
The vanilla kind from Central Market.
That's just Scream sugar.
Get the unsweetened vanilla.
It doesn't, and it's no sugar in it,
but I put it in my smoothies,
and in a pinch, I put it in my Annie's
white cheddar mac and cheese.
And the sweetness of it gives it a little
bit of like a tang after it's been cooked.
And it's phenomenal.
Is your boy going to eat mac and cheese for dinner
tonight? That sounds good. It's so good.
It's steak night. Casa
de Ruff. Casa del Ruff,
David. I thought it was day.
I don't know.
I'm not going to explain it to you explain Any good dinners lined up there Dylan?
Yeah let's
Let's do a new segment called
What's for dinner?
Ooh that would be a good
Actually I'm
I'm doing fillets tonight
My butcher box came in
What?
Yeah
Oh fuck you
Mine hasn't come in yet
Your zip code was wrong
On the order form
Really?
Classic Dave
You must actually
You butchered that one
No
I don't think I filled it out
I filled it out
Oh that's
That's why he asked you earlier
For your
Your track
For your thing
Oh that sucks man
He did it on the low
He didn't even tell you
Yeah I was wondering
What that was about
I didn't really follow up
Exposed it
So wait what happened
Me and the homie
Doing fillets tonight
Here's the problem though
Does the homie fuck with fillets?
Do we know?
Can you track it?
I only ask because I'm going to be out of town for four days.
I don't want to get stolen or just go bad chilling.
Sure.
Let me ask.
Once it ships, it arrives pretty quickly because you know, it's meat.
So they ship it like overnight.
Maybe if they ship today, I'll get it Thursday.
Yeah.
I'll ask after this.
You should.
My fillets are from the butcher so like the actual
butcher not butcher box so i gotta go scoop the homie i gotta how you gonna cook it you're gonna
do some weird shit like in the microwave or something no i'm gonna put in the oven for like
45 minutes no i'm gonna sear it and then uh broil for a few minutes. Probs. Is that what they call a reverse sear?
You're going to sear it and broil it?
Well, okay.
Sure am.
I didn't know you liked your states medium well.
I don't. That's how they eat it in Turkey, Texas.
It's time to go.
Fine.
Hey, guys. See you in Cab Fine. Hey, guys.
See you in Cabo.
Hey, Monday's pod, special guest.
Ooh, tease.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye. you