Circling Back - Chain Restaurants & Towed Cars
Episode Date: September 7, 2020A huge Labor Day episode for Circling Back. Recapping This Long Weekend in Fun, spending your birthday at a chain restaurant, Will went full-Karen, a gender reveal that went seriously wrong in Califor...nia, TikTok influencer house, a review of Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, and Brett's Breaking News. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (14:55) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (33:00) Birthdays at Chain Restaurants (39:50) Will Goes Full-Karen (56:05) Gender Reveal Gone Wrong (1:01:32) Tiktok Influencer House (1:07:00) Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater (1:11:50) Brett’s Breaking News Postmates: Download the app and use CIRCLING for $100 in credit. FanDuel: www.fanduel.com/steam (play for free or get a 20% deposit bonus) Lumin: www.luminskin.com/steam (FREE trial!) Ritual: www.ritual.com/CIRCLINGBACK (Get 10% off your first 3 months) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge my name is
will defries to my right david ruff different dictionaries define heroism in different ways
the way i define it is coming in to talk to your friends on mic
on Labor Day.
Putting it out to the people.
I just want to thank everyone in advance
for their thinking of us.
Thank you for the thanks
in the future.
Happy to be here on Labor Day.
No one expected us to be here.
No one. But here we are.
Very few.
They're like, dude, at some point these guys gotta take a day off right i gotta put the mics down eventually we set it down we were kind of hoping
that dylan would just think that we weren't recording today so he just wouldn't come in
why do you target me with that joke dylan it could have been anyone else in here because
you were the next one up dog okay uh hey everyone very happy to be here on this fine labor day
Hey, everyone. Very happy to be here on this fine Labor Day.
Okay. Did your brain just melt?
No, no, no, no, no.
Did you see me bump this camera?
Last night, after I went to bed, I was woken up by the sound of trucks pulling up outside.
Then I noticed there were red and blue lights going.
I look outside. There's two cop two cop cars ambulance and a fire truck and i walk out my back patio i didn't know what the hell's going on
i look around like what neighbors are outside like talking something's something's going on
and i look right to my left i could see directly into my next door neighbor's house because i want
the way my backyard situated i can just look right into it. And I look, and there were like seven people in uniform.
I was like, I probably should, I mean, I could see everything.
So I was like, I better back up and go back inside.
This is not my business.
It was a weird scene.
So you never figured it out?
No.
I'm going to talk to the neighbors later.
Going next door.
Yeah, or the Citizen app.
Yeah, next door is probably buzzing about it.
Yeah, it was interesting.
Call the ambulance
you know that's why my brain was oh how do you not know oh my god dude i thought there's gonna
be like a really nice i'll report back it just i feel like it was not my business to be peeking in
there and like you know you gotta be the nosy neighbor someone's you know getting cpr it's like
1 a.m it was weird anyway we We got Brett Scariman in here as well.
I have bad news to report, guys.
What?
It's too early for your breaking news.
What are you reporting?
I'm sorry.
This is just bad.
The cold front has deteriorated into-
I don't want to talk about this.
Like a meh front.
I don't want to talk about it.
And just rain all week.
The high was in the 60s this week, and now it's in the mid-80s.
Yeah, and you know why?
Because big weather's out there, and they're putting it on low temperatures
at the end of a hot week in Texas so that everyone screenshots it,
puts it on their Instagram stories like, oh, my God, I can't wait for next Wednesday.
Next Wednesday's never going to be that cold.
There's no way.
It's still hot down here.
I have no faith in big weather, dude.
89 from 69.
So you've got to think somebody was 89 now? Yeah, on Wednesday. Thursday, dude. 89. From 69. So you gotta think somebody was...
89 now?
Yeah, on Wednesday.
Thursday, 79.
I'm not gonna complain
about 80s.
I'm just not.
If we're gonna get pissed on,
what's the...
What does it matter?
Bret Head is like...
All his, like,
top coats taken off
of his closet
getting ready to, like,
just get a fit off
in the studio.
I went to a store
for the first time
in, I don't know, eight months or six months, whatever, since quarantine began. I went to a store for the first time in, I don't know, eight months or six months,
whatever, since quarantine began.
I went to a store for the purpose of looking at stuff to try on.
There's some fits out there for the taking that I was getting kind of aged for.
Thursday, sunny, 85.
Yeah, I'm going to take that.
Where are you looking?
I'm looking at Dark Sky
Dark Sky?
you're on the dark web
is that the dark web version of weather.com?
Dark Sky they know before the people know
I'm looking at AccuWeather
which is fine that's just big weather
they sold out a couple years ago
the thing about AccuWeather is weather that's accurate
it's accurate
Dark Sky is open source crowdfunded
I don't trust it.
I just go outside and just see what I feel.
Oh, and then the following week, Sunday, 89, sunny.
Monday, 88, sunny.
Tuesday, 87.
Oh, yeah.
I told you triple digits are done for the year.
We're trending.
I believe that.
We're trending in the right direction.
Don't let these guys get off by putting 60s in there
and then just deleting it a week later.
I know.
It's ridiculous.
Yeah.
Get some air conditioners or something and put them outside and just make it colder.
There's different models.
Yeah, it's like you invite us over for like a prime ribeye and you serve us pork chops.
Yeah.
Like I'm going to eat it.
It's going to be fine, but I don't want this.
It's like you don't tell us it's BYOB and we show up thinking we're going to have one of those likes like nifty bartenders that just like right and then no it's like oh shit we're could
i have an ice water then sir if you live in severe weather country like or tornado alley
like we kind of do as far as the severe stuff occasionally not really tornado alley this far
south but get your get your uh storm weather from twitter there's some great accounts out there
texas storm chasers that i fucking love those guys you got me onto them yeah you put me on they're excellent yeah
no ad nifty bartender sounds like a uh a will to freeze startup no i take his washed money
go start nifty bartender i always feel weird when i go to one of those parties and there's
just like one bartender there and he's just making like really half-ass old fashions for people and like plastic cups and you're just like
all right I'm just gonna have a Shiner Bock fun it's your panic order no I actually I hate Shiner
to be honest with you I only like Shiner Cheer which my Shiner's my panic order or used to like
that take I just don't I don't like box so so Shiner Bach is just not something I gravitate toward.
Not a box guy.
Nah.
Nifty's a good word.
Did y'all ever have to sing the song 50 Nifty United States?
From the 13 original colonies?
Yeah.
I shouted them.
Probably.
I scouted them.
I told all about them.
Each individual state contributes a quality that is great.
Hey, speaking of school parks.
Don't.
What's your favorite nifty state?
The homie starts kindergarten tomorrow.
Oh, shit.
Virtually, however.
So the experience of dropping him off at kindergarten for the first time has kind of been robbed from us.
But, you know.
Can we all come?
To our...
First day of school.
Sure.
When he actually goes.
Can we get FitPix off with him in front of your house?
Dude, can we?
Can the whole squad take him to school?
Oh, that would be tight.
That'd be awesome.
We just show up.
What up?
Ports, ports, ports.
The teacher's just like, what's going on?
Who's this teacher?
Don't say her name.
Have you met the teacher?
I have not.
No.
How do you answer that question?
Who's this teacher? Don't say, no. How do you answer that question? Who's his teacher?
Don't say her name.
He met her via Zoom.
But I was not there.
He was with his mom.
Zoom, Zoom, Zoom.
What was that commercial?
Zoom, Zoom, Zoom.
Zoom, Zoom.
Zoom, Zoom, Zoom.
I don't think that's it at all.
He's doing the Boom Boom song.
Let me say way-oh, way-oh.
What's his first day of school fit looking like?
We have over a month to plan it, so I don't really have it picked out yet.
Got it.
Because he's going to be just wearing, like, undies.
Tomorrow matters.
Yeah.
The undies.
It does, yeah.
He'll be with his mom, so I don't know.
She has a polo planned for him, maybe Hawaiian.
I don't know.
Whatever kind of vibe he wants to set.
You should definitely go Hawaiian.
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, shout out to all the teachers out there i don't know how widespread this is but they have to go in person tomorrow yeah i got
nothing but love for those teachers my wife included absolutely got nothing but love for
elisa absolutely i still remember my first day of kindergarten is that weird i remember the meal i
had the fit i got off the bus i mean i don't remember i remember existing in the classroom
and maybe standing in a line but i don't remember any actual details of it i just remember thinking
like this is weird why am i here right now wait i gotta do this for for how long how did i get here
the next 14 years of my life yeah then i gotta go to college what's going on my mom probably put me
in a turtleneck if i'm being honest i remember thinking why have this been like a third of my
life preparing for the rest of it?
Like this just seems excessive.
Do you ever go back through your old picture day photos from like elementary
school and be like,
who is dressing me?
Like what,
what is this?
Did y'all have the school bus where you line them up like year by year?
No.
Oh yeah.
So I,
my,
my pictures all exist in like a school bus that's got me from K to like 12.
That's consistency.
I like that.
Ours were just different cheese dick photographer backgrounds.
Like, here's some books,
put your little hands on.
Oh, see, we didn't have that.
We just had the,
I think it was called like Life Touch or whatever.
And then we just had like
a weird trippy background.
It looked like we were at a Grateful Dead concert.
Yeah, ours did not.
Dude, the homie took some
hanging from a tire swing
in front of a green screen
and they just had like a false setting behind them.
It was tight.
What the hell?
Yeah, it was cool. This is like a daycare though they just had like a false setting behind them. It was tight. What the hell? Yeah, it was cool.
This is like a daycare though.
It wasn't a school.
Dude, I put some professional photos
on the TL last night.
I saw that.
Why haven't you posted those
on the Grom yet?
I don't know.
I don't like doing the
professional photos on my Grom.
But you look,
I mean, you look crazy hot.
I do look crazy hot.
That's the thing.
Yeah, I don't know.
I guess Sally looks okay too.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, I don't know. I just didn't want to too. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't know.
I just didn't want to.
Can I put this on the podcast so we stick to it?
Can we do a Christmas card this year?
Yes, we are.
We talked about doing it last year.
We didn't have time.
We're doing it.
I'm wearing my turtleneck that I wore in Breck.
I am, too.
And just to be clear, it's patrons only.
Yes.
Patrons only.
Wow.
Are we getting the Christmas card?
Are we going to send them cards?
That's a lot of mailing to do.
Hard to say.
You're the mailing guy, though.
That's true.
That's a lot of postage we've got to pay for.
I have an idea.
I have an idea that can remedy us of this.
We'll be good.
I thought you were about to share it.
No, this is behind the scenes.
Can we get some programming notes out of the way real quick?
We've got a loaded episode. Yeah. People are saying. No, no, this is behind the scenes. Can we get some programming notes out of the way real quick before we hop in?
We got a loaded episode.
Yeah.
People are saying.
What, baked potato gets you loaded?
No, I was going to say Herbie.
Will, do you want my Wi-Fi password or what?
Is it still asking you?
No.
I went to low battery mode hoping that it would, like, reject your requests.
I like the idea of that.
Yeah, I couldn't connect to the Internet in here and it was just it was just ugly for everybody
involved it was tough mega tough scene first and foremost go follow at circling
back pot circling back pod we're so close to 10k on the Grom just do it I
cannot wait to put a swipe up on that dude I can't wait the thing is like
Instagram we're gonna get it and then Instagram's going to be like, nah.
Should we, like, build in a fun surprise for the first swipe up? Oh, damn it.
Maybe.
Like, that's going to –
Our first swipe up on that Instagram account is not going to be, like,
an ad-based thing.
It'll be a content-based thing, I promise.
We'll see.
We'll put it down.
We'll see.
Can I ask Dylan a question that'll only be funny to him?
Sure.
Got any swaps?
He got any swaps. him? Got any schwaps?
He got any schwaps.
You guys got any schwaps?
They're meal schwaps from college.
There's a guy who used to always ask people for schwaps.
He was in our fraternity.
He's actually from South Austin. Good dude.
He sounds like he's from West Texas.
He's a good dude.
He didn't have his own schwab.
So he always come up.
You guys got any schwab?
How the fuck do we even get here?
I knew Dylan would love it.
We're supposed to be doing programming notes over here.
You guys are just talking about some random dude at the food hall.
I think about that every time I hear the word swipe.
Every time.
You got any schwab?
Every Tuesday and Thursday, hit up Patreon.
Tomorrow we're doing worse stuff.
Got to say, if you didn't get your story in by now, I got bad news for you.
It's probably going to have to wait because we got a hell of stories in the hopper.
Send them in.
I could not be happier about how many stories we got sitting there.
Patreon.com slash Circling Back Podcast.
We'll also be doing voicemails on Friday.
On Wednesday, Happy Hour Live.
You know what it is.
And we've been doing Twitch nonstop.
Well, not nonstop, but every Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday around 12, 15 Central Standard Time.
Yeah, we'll be doing Fall Guys this week.
No shit?
Get excited.
Get excited.
Wow.
That's going to be interesting because I'm a stand-up guy, not the type to fall.
Wow.
Have you ever played Fall Guys, Dave?
No.
It's fun.
I'm pretty sure Parks and Cade are playing that right now.
They should be.
I love the idea of those two who've never met
just hanging out out there. Oh, yeah.
And also, make sure to link your Amazon Prime account
to your Twitch account for a free monthly sub.
I'm going to need someone to walk me through that process.
Yeah, I don't know how to do that.
That was a Randy note. I didn't write that in. You can just ask Randy.
He's right there. And finally, we've got a topic
we were going to talk about today, but we're going to wait so that people
can kind of check it out a little bit so they have a basis
to know what we're talking about.
Chef's Table Barbecue just came out.
Meat smokers only on the Grom.
We're going to talk about it on Wednesday.
If you only watch a couple episodes of it, how many episodes total are there, Dave?
Four?
Four or five, maybe.
Just make sure to watch the Texas one.
Tootsies?
And snows?
Tootsie slide.
Watch the Tootsies one.
That one's good.
Very emotional at times.
I cried.
Check it out.
My one edit with Chef's Table is that there are a lot of emotional stories
that they tell on that show that are great.
And then they try to do it every episode to tell an emotional story,
and sometimes it just doesn't hit.
It's like they do this on game shows now.
The modern game show, like The Wall,
executive produced
by LeBron James.
They always have to have
like a story like,
this person lost it all
in the financial crisis
and now they're winning money
for their sick dog.
I want like Tad,
who lives in like
a Chicago suburb,
who's doing okay for himself
just to go up there
because he's...
Just an analyst?
Yeah, he's just like,
I don't know,
like... I just got on the show. Yeah, my fraternity brother's cousin works for the just to go up there. Just an analyst? Yeah, he's just like, I don't know.
Like, dude, I just got on the show.
Yeah, my fraternity brother's cousin works for the show,
and they got me on.
That's what I want.
Let me give a shout-out to Claw Daddy Creations for doing a meat smokers only takeover yesterday.
That's one of our old Grand X interns.
He killed it.
He did.
Dude, the stuff he does, that makes me feel so inferior on the grill.
Because I am. He's much better than me. Wow, the stuff he does, that makes me feel so inferior on the grill. Because I am.
He's much better than me.
Wow, this is big of you to admit.
I think it's.
Take one look.
Follow Meat Smokers Only on the Grom.
Add me on the grill.
Thank you.
Are you upping your grill game at all heading into the fall?
Any new tools?
I might be up to something.
That's all I can say.
I'm thinking about adding a few things.
What do you have, a big green egg?
I've got a Traeger.
Okay.
That was a dumb question.
I'm sorry.
I forgot.
That's okay.
People make that mistake often.
I just don't know if I'm ready for the green egg,
and also it's just a lot.
I would buy the knockoff green egg, honestly.
A little green egg?
A little green egg.
Brown egg.
I don't know what color it is. It's probably green also.
Anyway.
Is that one of your tough ones?
The colors?
Green?
I handle green pretty well.
It always comes back to that.
I know there's one or two.
I thought you pissed your pants every time you dabbled in the green.
Come on, man.
Come on.
That's funny.
Can we recap this weekend in fun as presented by Postmates?
Yes.
You know what Postmates is.
If you're like me, you probably start thinking about what to eat for dinner by the time you're eating lunch.
I'm thinking about it now.
What's for dinner tonight, David?
I don't know.
I'm going to go on Postmates and see if they've got any deals, which I'm sure they do.
I love food, and that's why I love using Postmates.
But I kind of love them even more right now because I can get food delivered without leaving the house or even opening a door.
Given what's going on in the world, they created non-contact delivery.
So when you order from local restaurants, everything gets left right outside your door.
They also have Postmates Pickup, which you can use to order takeout from your favorite local restaurants.
So listen up.
You guys need to be supporting your neighborhood spots right now.
I've only been ordering local because it's a great way to support my community.
Use this on a Saturday night.
I'm primed for using Postmates after a round of golf.
Yeah, that's my most likely time.
It's like, oh man, I've been out all day.
I'm craving a big boy meal. Time to my most likely time. It's like, oh, man, I've been out all day. I'm craving a big boy meal.
Time to go to Postmates.
All you have to do is download the Postmates app on iOS or Android.
Find your favorites and get anything you want delivered within the hour.
For a limited time, Postmates is giving our listeners $100 of free delivery credit for your first seven days.
To start your free deliveries, download the app and use code CIRCLING.
It's code CIRCLING for $100 of free delivery credit for your first seven days when you download the Postmates app.
Anything you need, anytime you need it, just go and Postmate it.
Dylan, what did you do this weekend?
I had a fantastic weekend.
One of the best in a long time.
Went out to the ranch, and it's been since February since we've been out there.
Because of the whole COVID situation, my mom is high risk health-wise, so we stayed away. Might be a little early to go out there because the whole COVID situation, my mom is high risk health-wise, so we stayed
away.
Might be a little early to go out there.
I understand that, but she had to see Parks.
Hadn't seen him since, like I said, February.
And so we went out there.
My stepbrother and his family were out there, so Parks got to play with his cousins.
Hot tub action.
The smoker got some work.
There's a hot tub out there? there's a hot tub out there there's
a hot tub out there why didn't i dip my toes into that when we went out there good question you
should be asking yourself that i didn't even see it is it one of those hot tubs that like is never
working and like every time you want to get in they're like ah sorry it's not heating up always
working damn that's the tv above the grill in the back yes it is always working yeah i would
have peed in your hot tub man i'm I'm sorry. Well, thank you for not.
How's the stargazing out there?
It's fantastic.
Really?
I'm such a...
It's actually one of the best places in Texas for it.
Come on.
And I'll explain why.
It's 24 miles either way from the nearest town,
and even the towns are pretty small,
so there are no lights out there.
There's actually...
University of Texas used to own the property,
and there's an observatory, like, it's hard to explain,
but there's a cement pad that they built up there
where they put telescopes on to observe stars and shit.
No shit.
Yeah.
It's incredible.
What the hell else do you do?
What's your favorite constellation?
I hate all constellations, actually.
I can't answer that question.
Other than that, just hung out with the fam.
My stepbrothers killed a skunk out there.
Ooh.
Saturday night.
Huh.
A skunk.
I don't mess with skunks, man.
If you kill it, does it smell?
Or if you run it over, it smells?
They killed it before it sprayed.
I smelled it when I woke up.
I'd already gone to bed.
I was a tired boy.
I woke up and I smelled it a little bit, but it wasn't strong.
We used to have some skunks that would mate behind our house.
So once a year, for an entire week, it would just smell very, very pungent of skunk.
And it would seep into our clothing.
It would keep you up at night because it was just so pungent that you just couldn't breathe.
It was just the worst.
One day I was playing in a soccer game, and the kid that I was marking was like,
dude, you smell terrible.
I was like, yep, all day, baby, all day.
That's what you said?
Yeah, pretty much.
I was just like, yeah, my house got sprayed by skunk.
You stink, baby. I did, did though i was not smelling good you never want to be to be told you're smoking skunk you're into that circle because that's bad weed yeah that smell skunk
there was a guy in one of my dorms that he he would smoke the worst the cheapest weed and he
would come in and you could smell him like the hall. You're like, dude, you are obviously high.
Obviously.
Isn't schwag the phrase for bad weed, not skunk?
Skunk, schwag.
I mean, there's probably many.
I don't think it's limited to one.
I think if it's skunky, that's good-ass weed.
You just smoke mid, don't you?
I don't know who this person is.
Actually, I'm not even going to say it.
I'm going back.
It was Stella's first ranch trip.
Huge.
Oh,
she was a tired puppy
when we got home.
So no pics or videos of that,
huh?
I have some.
I just didn't,
I didn't do much posting
over the weekend.
I don't know why.
But Stella had a fantastic time.
You were just off the grid.
She met a horse.
Without a phone inside.
She met a horse for the first time.
She was pretty confused by that.
Huh.
Just looked like a giant dog.
Were you like,
Stella,
look out,
these guys are dickheads.
She handled it well. She was just
curious, but kept her distance.
It was fine. Probably the move.
She played all weekend.
Man, that's fun. Yeah.
Let her off the leash, she hung out by the house. It was very cool.
Very cool sitch. Man, that's big for you.
Yeah. That's huge. That's it.
D-Nam, what'd you get into, dog?
I'm trying to figure out if we were using
skunk wrong all those years.
It turns out it's a regional thing.
Skunk can be good in some settings, Will.
Yeah, I never considered when someone said something was skunky.
I never thought it was going to be bad.
Skunk is just – whatever, not a big deal.
I didn't do skunk weed all weekend.
I feel like you got like a high school friend that you guys all called skunk for a little bit.
The skunk?
That's a good nickname.
I mean, you wouldn't like like it but it's a fun
one to call your friend what did we do uh friday night are we not are we just not going to talk
about thursday night what do we do oh yeah like i'm begging to talk oh yeah thursday dog dinner
went to uh bob's steak and chop house for brett's one year anniversary at the company we got into
one a little bit had some steaks had some had some martinis, had a good time.
A bottle of wine.
A bottle of wine.
It was good, man.
They were very great service.
It was very nice.
What'd you order, Dave?
Bone-in ribeye.
Yeah, you remember what Randy ordered?
T-bone!
What's up, T-bone?
Hey, T-bone.
Yeah, Randy's new nickname is T-bone.
Yeah, we're calling him T-bone now.
He ordered a T-bone.
Because he got the T-bone. The rest of us were Filet Boys, right? A little 12 T-Bone. Yeah, we're calling him T-Bone now. Is he ordered a T-Bone? Because he got the T-Bone.
I think the rest of us were Filet Boys, right?
A little 12-ounce?
Yeah.
Good time.
Woke up Friday morning feeling less than ideal,
but came up here and did some Twitch,
at Watch Media on Twitch,
played a little PGA Tour 2K21, which was fun.
Did you go low?
I did.
What did I? I backed order top five. I did pretty good.
Good for you.
Come on. And then, when do we
play golf? Do we play Saturday?
Oh, Friday night.
A little Game 7. Actually, it was
Friday afternoon, 3 o'clock.
Unfortunate time. And on the
USA Network. But it was an
excellent Game 7. Stars win it in overtime. I lost my voice unfortunate time and on the USA network uh but it was an excellent game seven
stars winning overtime I lost my voice for a time I was screaming I was going crazy that was the
most fun I've had watching sports in a very long time stars are also want to know in the uh
in the semi don't spoil that we're gonna do that on too much dip I didn't really say much
you didn't even watch. I'm kidding.
What did we do?
Saturday, we played golf.
I played with Will, Brett, and a guy who actually listens to the pod, Ben.
Shout out to him.
Shout out to Ben.
Had a good time.
Great weather.
It was humid, but not – I had a little swamp ass going,
but it went away by the time we finished.
Hey, shout out to the crew for everyone shooting sub 90.
Yeah, good crew.
I played as bad as you can play for like an 88, I think.
And still, we made it happen.
I will say that was a sneakier 88 that I've seen.
Yeah.
Because, I mean, it felt like you were throwing up some doubles.
But you did throw up a lot of pars.
I threw up two triples
and shot an 86.
Yeah.
I'm happy with that.
One bowed you on the round.
I was par double,
par double, par double.
Pretty much.
Yeah, you were.
That front nine
was very consistent.
I had a good time.
It was fun.
Might have gone sub 80.
Who knows?
I did.
That's it.
I'll end it there.
Do you just want to say
what you shot, Dave?
Luka Doncic
I'll say that
I mean I didn't do much else outside of what you guys did
I had to cancel our weekly meeting
On Friday morning due to
Hangover issues
I slept till 9 which I haven't done in
Months
Good for you
I felt terrible
I truly felt awful
Well I got home from our steak dinner, and I decided to download Tony Hawk.
I cannot believe this.
And I played Tony Hawk until 2 a.m.
How did you not go immediately to bed?
Because, dude, I don't think you understand how much I played Tony Hawk back in the day.
We got into one, though.
We did.
We did.
I will say I was terrible that night.
I think it was because of the martinis and stuff.
And then I started playing it on Friday, and things were much different.
What's your highest score?
On one level, I think I got – if I didn't get 300K at Marseille,
then I got close.
I need to see that.
That's a lot.
At one point, I had numerous levels where I was top 200 in the scoring.
So I felt pretty good about myself.
I've been just linking combos.
Absolutely linking them.
And then, yeah, I didn't do anything else.
I did the same golf stuff with these guys.
Then on Sunday, woke up bright and early, watched the best F1 race of the year so far.
Dylan didn't watch it.
I'm so tired of coming in here and asking you every Monday if you watched the race or not.
Dave's going to get into it sooner than later if he doesn't give himself a concussion from headbutting the tv screen dude i was trying to lift my leg and i didn't want to like the
leather to make that like weird fart noise i don't know what that was just headbutted the tv
so i headbutted the tv basically wonderful and then crazy. I mean, to be honest, to pull back the curtain,
we didn't realize that we had sold ads on Labor Day.
So we got in the stew for this.
I'm built for this.
Everyone else is out, and I'm like, you know what?
Maybe getting in the stew and getting some mojo going on a Monday morning
of a federal holiday is kind of the move.
Some would say we're too married to the game.
Yeah.
Like Jordan and Peyton.
No days off.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Brett, do you have anything to add?
I don't know what this says about me.
I was, like, ready to full throttle on Thursday after we were all set, like after we were done.
It might have been the espresso martini I did and the espresso I did after my meal, but if you—
You weren't ready to call it a night.
No.
I had to.
I couldn't finish my last beer.
I sat there looking at it at the table
and I was like, no, I'm done.
I was also, I've been not drinking heavily
over quarantine, but like pretty consistently.
So my tolerance is up.
Yeah, you've been drinking more than me.
Yeah, I was fine.
I could have, not that we would go to a bar bar,
but if we wanted to hit another restaurant
table situation, I wouldn't have been opposed.
I got a gram off, too. Thank you, Brett, for
photography credit. It was a great
gram. How did we not get a gram off? Are we sure?
Brett got the photography credit?
Oh, y'all both did. I don't know
who it was. I sent you the eight photos.
You did, but I think Will took some, too,
and I don't know which one. I'll
split the cred. Hard to sack.
Hard to sack. Look, I'll take care of my dudes.
Also hit Mako Sushi for the first time in my life.
Austinites will know that it's a popular place
if you have a group or some sort of party.
If you know what you're doing, you spend $25 and that's it.
Yeah, I think.
$25 a head, in and out.
This podcast is at least
on two occasions said that that place is shutting down only to find out that it's not shut down it
is shutting down it has not it is shutting down it's shutting down that that block is being
replaced by a very tall high rise we need more of those paved paradise put up a parking lot yeah
i'm sick of that but for now it is open and we were the only two people in the restaurant.
Literally the only two people.
I've never had that experience before, where it's just like a crew of seven, and then just
one table.
Maybe you were.
It got out that it had shut down prematurely, I guess.
Could have been our fault.
People are staying away.
But we went there, and I had, ready for this take?
My favorite sushi roll I've ever had in my life.
Okay.
What was it?
Aren't you new to sushi, though?
Relatively.
Okay. Very. Relatively to very.. Okay. What was it? Aren't you new to sushi, though? Relatively. Okay.
Relatively to very.
Which one?
What was it called?
The crunchy, no, no, no.
Fried, of course.
No, no, no, no.
There's some crunch on it.
Cherise something.
Chorizo?
Cherise's.
Cherise's roll.
It really made an impression on him.
Yeah, dude, you just loved it.
Couldn't get enough of it.
Okay.
Very good. Solid place, man. You just loved it. Couldn't get enough of it. Okay. Very good.
Solid place, man.
You're so passe.
What does that mean?
I know what passe means, but in the tons of stuff, you're so passe.
Don't fucking worry about it.
Sing it in the Carly Simon voice.
You're so passe.
Exactly.
Carly thinks this podcast's about you.
Correct.
And then I went to the Domain on Sunday.
Why would you do that?
Because it's just a nice outdoor sitch.
Okay.
And I walked around.
It was popping.
Okay.
So.
Okay.
Enjoyed it.
I just avoid the Domain at all costs unless I have to buy something.
I do like going out there in off times when there's no one.
Like, you know, like on a Wednesday morning. Because there I do like going out there in off times when there's no one, like Wednesday morning.
Because there are some nice shops out there,
but if you go on the weekend,
that place just gives me anxiety.
That place is peak.
Like, oh, that's a parking spot.
Oh, no, it's reserved for only Nordstrom pickup customers.
Oh, that guy's backing into it.
He's backing into this spot.
Oh, no, he's pulling back out because he didn't get in line.
Oh, that guy's leaving.
Oh, wait, he's got a kid. He's going to take about five minutes no, he's pulling back out because he didn't get in line. All right, he's doing well. Oh, that guy's leaving. Oh, wait, he's got a kid.
He's going to take about five minutes to get everything. Next thing you know, you're now holding up traffic in the parking garage.
You're dropping 30 to Valley at Filson or something.
It's fucking bullshit.
I'm glad we got that quick steam out.
Yeah.
Hit the button, Micah.
You all okay?
No, dude, I've just gotten so many bad experiences up at the Domain.
It's tough.
Really?
I enjoyed every day.
Well, it's holiday weekend for you. So, like, less people are going to be there, I've just gotten so many bad experiences up at the domain. It's tough. Really? I enjoyed every day. Well, it's holiday weekend for you.
So less people are going to be there, I think, naturally,
just because of how it operates.
Can I ask a golf question that pertains to this group?
Does this group lead the world in going lone wolf, blind lone,
and then having no blood at the end of the day?
I feel like no one – like we do this –
it happens at least two or three times around,
and nobody ever loses.
It's probably best case scenario, but I just,
from what I can tell, no one ever loses their ass.
I think I've lost plenty of times doing that.
If we want to talk about who had the most dots the other day,
we can talk about that.
That's on the table.
You missed by far the most dots I've ever seen in a Wolf game.
Will ended up with like 30 dots.
I had 37 dots at the end of the day.
Who do you think you are, man?
I had several carryover wins.
I think I benefited from every birdie out there,
of which I think I had two or three.
And my dots were popping.
You had two or three birds?
I had two confirmed on one and nine.
I think I either had a third one on the back nine
or two opportunities.
I have the scorecard.
I can go to the tape, Randy.
I don't have it on me.
Do you know Kaiser?
Can you think your way around the course?
Yeah, absolutely can.
17, par five.
Terrible hole.
I hate that hole.
I hit the ball so far that I was in front of a tree.
That hole is
absolute bullshit yeah I hate it I hate it I piped it Dave and Will and Ben are
like oh that's gonna that's gonna be perfect I went lone wolf because I had
the least points it's a rack and then we got up to the ball they're like oh that's
unfortunate sorry bitch yeah well you gotta learn how to play that low
sweeping hook around that tree.
It's a par five.
I tried.
That hole is one of my least favorite holes.
Could we talk about FanDuel real quick?
It's a duel between fans.
Yeah.
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Okay, so how does the NHL
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pop in, you get two centers,
four wingers, two D, and a
goalie. And you have a salary cap, right?
You say you have 60,000 fantasy points to spend,
and Nathan McKinnon was like 8,500 of them.
Ooh, tough scene.
Sorry, yeah.
Well, no, you defeated him, but then there's...
The goalie!
The goalie!
Rupe Hintz.
Rupe!
He's a steal.
You can get him for like 3,000 bucks,
and he'll always put up a couple shots and a hit or two,
maybe an assist each game.
You get points for shots on that?
You do.
Okay, I was wondering how the scoring worked.
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There was a very viral tweet that has a topic of conversation
that is near and dear to all of us this week.
Has to do with chain restaurants.
I missed this somehow.
It is the reason Cheesecake Factory was trending yesterday
and maybe even the day before.
And at this moment, I believe Texas Roadhouse is trending.
And I think it all has to do with this tweet.
Because I was seeing a lot of slander on the TL.
I guess it would be libel.
About, you know, you got to choose one
for your birthday dinner, which you're going with.
You got Red Lobster. That's not even the viral tweet.
There's so many iterations of the viral tweet.
I don't even know which one, but basically you're pitting
Cheesecake Factory, Olive Garden, Apple Bees,
and Red Lobster. Is that the one we're talking about?
The one I'm looking at is from Ryan K. Smith.
It says you got to choose one for your birthday,
which you're going with. That's the one.
Okay.
And I'm here to argue about it. What are you got to choose one for your birthday. Which are you going with? That's the one. Okay. And I'm here to argue about it.
What are you going to argue?
What was the winner?
You better look out.
Is there one that is like the consensus over the rest of them?
Probably Applebee's.
I could be wrong.
No.
Applebee's definitely wasn't the winner of all that.
The bees.
Come on, dude.
The bees' knees.
I actually, I'm not going to sit here and act like I don't like Applebee's.
And we didn't have
a very good Chili's in our
area growing up, so Applebee's was
kind of the default when you're going for that kind of meal.
So I kind of got accustomed to it. It might be some
Stockholm Syndrome, but I don't hate
it, but I'm not going to pit it against some of these other ones.
Who was it on here
talking reckless about the Cheesecake Factory?
Was it Dylan recently? I think it was Dylan. My main issue with the place is the menu and how they can't be good at all of
those things that they offer if they would condense it to about oh I don't know 20 percent of the size
it currently is I would have much more faith in what I'm ordering but I don't like being
overwhelmed by options number one number two they can't be good at everything
have you ever been blown away by a dish at Cheesecake Factory you're saying this is a But I don't like being overwhelmed by options, number one. Number two, they can't be good at everything.
Have you ever been blown away by a dish at Cheesecake Factory? So you're saying this is a classic jack-of-all-trades, master-of-none scenario.
That's exactly what I'm saying, David.
The resume, it's like, man, you've done a lot.
You've worked in, like, three or four different industries.
You've restarted your career multiple times.
I'm going to bring you in.
You're going to be fine, but you're not going to blow me away in any one spot.
I've been to the factory a handful of times, and each time I've had a great time.
But I've never left being like, man, that was a dope meal that I just had.
Never.
So we have Cheesecake Factory.
Red Lobster.
Applebee's.
Olive Garden.
Olive Garden.
I think Olive Garden
is not getting enough
cred right now
well dude
just for the breadsticks
and salad bar alone
like I think it puts it
above Red Lobster
Olive Garden is solid
I totally agree
and when you're there
you're with
Amelia
with
how does it go
when you're there
you're friends
when you're there
you're friends
that's it
yeah
yeah cause when you're there your family that's the Wilm're there, you're friends. That's it. Yeah.
Yeah, because when you're there, your family, that's the Wilmons.
Yeah, that's Wilmons.
That's Wilmons.
Yeah, so it must be when you're there, you're friends.
People need to put some respect on the C factory.
They got that Cajun jambalaya pasta.
That's what I was talking about.
I didn't even know they had that the other day, but I just said to you, I was like, that's the kind of place that just has an absolutely decadent pasta,
like a spicy chicken pasta or something like that,
where you eat like three bites of it, and then you just have a brick that you bring home and it stinks up your car.
Oh, yeah, and you're full for the entire day.
Dude said decadent.
Decadent.
Chicken pot stickers, Dylan.
Okay, yeah.
They also have a wide array of cheesecakes to choose from.
Reese's peanut butter.
It's a factory of them.
It's a factory.
They just produce cheesecake.
Do they have a Heath Bar cheesecake?
Because that's the one I'm interested in.
They have about everything.
I guarantee that's the best one.
Cheesecake.
Just like it's the best Blizzard.
Cheesecake's good, man.
Can we all admit that Red Lobster is definitely number four on this list?
I wouldn't say that.
I might put them above Applebee's.
Come on, dude.
I might.
Come on. Might. Don't do that to Applebee's. Come on, dude. I might. Come on.
Might.
Don't do that to Applebee's, man.
I could be convincing you.
Ooh, Red Lobster while they're doing endless shrimp.
There's something weird to me about endless shrimp.
The shrimp doesn't end.
That's what's weird about it.
That's what I don't like about it.
Where is all this shrimp coming from?
There's an infinite number of shrimp in the ocean.
Do you know how many shrimp we have not even discovered?
Do you?
No, I don't.
How would I know?
We haven't discovered them.
Trick question, hotshot.
What do you do?
Are they serving different varieties and different species of shrimp?
Catch me a red lobster eating steak and shrimp.
I've been to a red lobster in 25 years.
I live right next door to one if you want to start going.
I know you do.
Have you ever been to that red lobster?
I haven't.
You've never taken a lime scooter down there?
He goes to Deckhand instead. I do all my best to avoid going to the restaurants I live right start going. I know you do. Have you ever been to that Red Lobster? I haven't. You've never taken a Lime scooter down there? He goes to Deckhand instead.
I do all my best to avoid going to the restaurants I live right next to.
That's why I try not to go to In-N-Out ever.
Can't be going to In-N-Out.
I'm surprised you didn't late night pick it up after Thursday.
Not a bad call.
I should have done that while Tony Hawk was downloading.
Instead, I just played FIFA and got my ass kicked by a bunch of sober people
when I was just like three sheets to the wind.
Was Sally home when this was going down?
Yeah, she was totally passed out.
Does Rosie, when you get home like that, does she come out and hang out with you
or does she stay in there sleeping?
50-50.
Sometimes she'll sleep on the couch, but at that point in the night,
by the time 7.30 hits, Rosie's ready to sleep for the next 12 hours.
You know how our couch is?
What do you call our couch?
Is it a sectional?
So, you know, Randy has that blanket in the corner,
and that's like his spot on the couch he can lay on.
If I'm playing video games, I'm sitting down at the end of the sectional
near the TV.
Randy starts out on the blanket, and then I'll hear something.
Turn around, he's moved off the blanket, and then he's moved again,
and then he'll move three times in about 30 minutes until he's directly behind me.
And he does it real sneakily so I don't, like, yell at him.
I wouldn't yell at him anyway.
What a guy.
But I'm just like, yeah, just stay there.
It's fine.
It's pretty funny.
Yeah, I'm going Cheesecake Factory, man.
I think I am too.
I might also.
No, no, no, no.
You can't come with us after the slander you put on this. Factory, man. I think I am, too. I might also. No, no, no, no.
You can't come with us after the slander you put on this.
I also just said every time I've gone there, I've had a good time. Look, the food's not awesome, but it's a good scene for a chain.
Yeah.
It puts off borderline nice restaurant vibes.
I didn't say anything, like, too slanderous about it.
I'm going number one,
Cheesecake Factory.
Number two,
Olive Garden.
Three, Applebee's.
Four, Red Lobster.
Didn't you say,
well,
Cheesecake is like
the place you would go
after prom
or before prom
that you think would be like
going to a tight place?
I think you mentioned that.
If you're a sophomore
going with like a junior girl
to prom
and you need a restaurant
to go to,
like you're trying to go
to Cheesecake Factory. Why does she have to be a junior? The key here- Because you're a restaurant to go to, like you're trying to go to Cheesecake Factory.
Why does she have to be a junior?
Because you're not supposed to go yet.
Because we didn't let sophomores go to prom.
So like you had to go up a class in order to go if you were a sophomore.
Well, the key here is that it's for your birthday dinner.
So it's not just about the food.
Okay, birthday dinner?
It's about the whole experience.
That's what has Cheesecake Factory for me edging out olive garden as a number one
if we're going just food i'll probably go garden really yeah okay okay do not sleep on the summer
fantastico i would never do that david just saying can we pivot real quick so i can ask you guys a
question i want to talk something out with you i guess i went full karen the other day so i got home from golf long day drenched in sweat
i got that under i got the the under chest sweat going on the belly sweat
i had everything sweating didn't change shirts i get there i pull into my apartment complex and there's a car parked
in my spot so what does this mean you have a fully reserved i have a fully reserved spot
i pull in and i see it and it's the first time it's ever happened to me people park in sally
spot all the time i'm not sure why hers is more of a behind a gate right behind a gate behind a
gate so when i see that someone's parked there usually the first thing i do is I go and I check and I see if they have a sticker from our apartment complex,
just to know if they're a resident who's just acting up or if there's someone that doesn't know.
If it's someone that doesn't know, I always go up to our apartment and I write a nice little note
on their thing. And I just say, Hey, if you could please move your car, that'd be great.
Well, this person had a sticker and I was like, well, that's okay. They know better than this.
well, this person had a sticker.
And I was like, well, that's okay.
They know better than this.
They know where to park.
And as I kept on investigating the car,
I realized that something was up.
And I looked down and I see that both of their front tires were just completely flat with a bumper
that looks like it just rammed into something.
And my initial reaction was, man, was this person just drunk
and they just decided to pull into my parking spot because they just need to get out of their car and call
it a day. And then I realized that they backed in. Like, you don't drunk back into a parking spot.
And I was like, you know what? This person's not going to, this person's absolutely not going to
move the car on their own anytime soon. They have two flat tires. And so what did I do?
I called the towing company. I went full Karen.
So the question you have for us.
Am I an asshole for towing this person?
Let me ask a couple questions.
Did you hit up the apartment complex management first to find out, like, hey, do you guys know what happened here?
Doing so is a fruitless effort.
Not because my apartment complex is incompetent or anything like that. but they don't have any jurisdiction to do much about that. And they can't give up
any personal information regarding whose car it is. So you're kind of in a bad situation.
They could have been like, yeah, Hey, there was a, this person got rear-ended or rear-ended
somebody right there. And they just backed in and they ran to the something or other,
or they're in the hospital or that person's dead. No.
I think you're kind of an asshole for this.
Why?
Clearly, that person had a terrible day,
and I think the back end may be the result of a tow truck
dropping it there.
No.
Why?
No.
Because you could see,
what would I say?
Debris?
Call me Will Debris.
Actually, why didn't I capitalize on that?
I should have capitalized on that for Shark Week.
Will Debris has left.
How has that not been done yet?
No brainer.
God damn it.
It's kind of on our listeners for not thinking of that.
There was debris that looked like they had just backed in their car.
You could see parts of the bumper and tire backing in
if that makes sense like there was there was there were tracks oh there were tread marks there was
yeah there were tracks okay want to hear why i think i'm not that bad for doing this even though
i did go kind of carony because this person was gonna have to get their car towed in the
like anyway they're gonna have to wake up Sunday morning, call a tow truck to the shop.
Now it's going to be a double tow.
Now, I mean, just imagine someone getting in a wreck.
That's the first spot that they could plant their car.
They might be dealing with injuries, and they come out a couple days to find their car is now at the tow yard.
They got to go get cash out, drop whatever it is, $150, $200.
Get your car towed.
At least.
Towed from there to the body shop or whatever.
It's just an unfortunate situation that you probably made worse.
I'd get mine towed to the candy shop.
Dylan, I pay for this spot.
I get it.
I pay a monthly fee for this spot.
And I don't see why I should let some asshole who doesn't know how to drive just sit and park his car in there with flat tires for days on end.
A lot of assumptions.
Come on.
I think you were quick.
You had a quick trigger finger.
What if this person just found out they had COVID-19 and was then hit by a drunk driver and then you just towed their shit.
Unless then you let it sit there for two weeks before you call the tow company.
Maybe at least two hours.
But at least feel it out a little bit.
They were there.
They could have been there for two hours.
That's true.
They could have been there.
I was gone for six hours.
I would have given it three days.
No.
No.
All right, Pat Green.
Three days.
Three days.
To let someone park in a spot that you pay for. Okay, but three days is... Did you just find a different parking spot? It's not like... Okay, Pat Green. Three days. Three days to let someone park in a spot that you pay for.
Okay, but three days is...
Did you just find a different parking spot?
It's not like...
Okay, hold on.
It's not like you can't live in your apartment.
Excuse me if you've already said this.
Where would you have parked?
Where could you have parked?
On the street?
In and out?
No, you just have to go down to the lower levels of the parking garage and just fight for a spot there.
Oh, man.
Okay, so you had options.
Oh, there were options.
There were options.
Okay.
I wouldn't ask you guys this question if I felt good about my actions.
I clearly have some buyer's remorse.
I'm just being honest.
I clearly have some buyer's remorse.
I think you should have waited a little bit longer to feel the situation.
Three days is ridiculous.
Three days is a long time for a car just to be sitting there.
It's three days of parking elsewhere.
It's not a huge, huge inconvenience.
Hey, meet me in the middle.
I'm just worried about the people that might be in a lot of trouble, man.
They could be injured.
Why don't you just meet me in the middle?
One and a half days.
One and a half?
You want to go one and a half?
Yes.
Two days.
Should I have waited until noon yesterday?
Maybe.
But if you haven't sorted out your shit by the next morning,
then I'm towing you either way.
I'm going to make you feel a little bit better.
Maybe there was a chance.
I could see the apartment complex, seeing that wrecked vehicle,
and being like, we got to tow this thing.
Like they might have done it for you.
No.
You don't think?
No.
They lived in your apartment, right? You said they had a sticker?
They had a sticker.
Okay.
They had a sticker.
Have you checked the community portal or the Nextdoor or whatever y'all use to see if they're like,
hey, by the way, worst day of my life made even more worse by a worse-er?
Why are you guys assuming that this person is having the worst day of their life?
Well, their car was wrecked.
Their car was messed up.
Two flat tires.
Here's a question.
Two flat? How do you drive messed up. Two flat tires. Here's a question. Two flat?
How do you drive a car with two flat tires?
Is your spot easily accessible by the entrance?
Yes, which is why I pay for it.
Right, which is why I'm saying that might have been the only spot they could have gotten their car to in that condition.
Do you not go write a note and leave it on your car saying, hey, I had to do this?
Yeah, you do. Let's see's see nope i don't see anything i still think the car was towed to the entrance maybe it couldn't fit in the garage or something and they just like pushed it into
that spot that's my theory i walked out that's a good theory isn't it it's hard to okay thinking
about your pushing that a vehicle up up theline would be very, very difficult and dangerous.
Pushing it down is dangerous too, right?
This is on an incline.
Yeah.
This is on an incline.
So it was probably not pushed.
No, no, definitely not.
So I walk out to go meet the tow truck guy, and he starts laughing when he gets out of the car.
He's like, what the hell did this person just do?
He's like in amazement that they even got it back there and then who comes walking out another door micah micah's with his dog and he just starts chanting leave them alone
leave them alone and then the tow truck guy made me feel better he's like no fuck this person he's
like this is terrible and i was like okay i feel like you're just saying that because i'm giving
you business right now but at the same time i feel of guilty. It's a weird spot to be on the same side as the tow truck driver.
I think the likelihood that this car was brought there by a tow truck is pretty high.
You know what I did?
No, definitely not.
I'm giving your apartment complex a lot of credit here,
but they would have to see the tow truck.
They would notice that because the office, I've been to Will's place.
He lives there. He knows this better than me. They see every car that comes in or they can
from that desk. They would see a tow truck coming in and dropping a car off. Like it's,
it would not be subtle. But I think they would talk to the office. I did talk to the office.
Oh, you did. We have to talk to the office because you have to prove to the tow truck people that
it's your parking spot. So you have to send them the actual part of your lease that says that and so the office is they're like yeah here it is okay yeah we talked we spoke can i um speculate about
what i think happened what time is this i discovered it probably i don't know time we
get done five five or so this okay this this goes against my theory but it kind of reeks of a drunk driving
one car accident that's how i thought that's what i thought it was i think that i think the person
was either buzzed or drunk driving i think they ran into something close to the apartment
freaked out and was like i need to park in the the first spot that i see and they parked in mine
and then they they scampered off.
Maybe they were running from the fuzz.
If that's what happened, then I have no problem with what you did.
That was my theory.
That was my theory.
That's a leap in theory.
I don't know why.
Okay, why is me saying that they were drunk and ran into something a leap,
but Dave's allowed to say that they got COVID and then got hit by a car?
I was just throwing it out there.
You can't prove me wrong.
I don't think that happened either for the record.
This does the more I'm thinking about it,
although the timing doesn't make sense unless they were just going real hard
at brunch.
This does reek of something that was done while intoxicated and you just,
you put it first place and then you go pass out and you'll worry about it
later.
I was kind of hoping it was Mike has forged the S that,
that had returned to the apartment complex.
Unfortunately, it wasn't.
Unfortunately, it wasn't.
With the truck nuts on it.
How clear is it that this is a reserved spot?
Clear.
It's spray-painted reserved on the ground,
and then there's a sign in front of it that says,
spot blah, blah, blah, towing at owner's expense.
The fact that there's no note is heavily in your favor.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
At the least, you have to note up there.
Dylan, you have to understand, I don't disagree with anything you said.
Okay.
I might not be happy with some of the stuff you said.
I can tell your conscience it's weighing on you, or else this wouldn't be a topic of discussion.
I don't go full Karen that much.
I get it.
I get it.
I'm not mad at you. You ask a question, and you know. So you think I'm kind of an asshole? Kind't go full care in that much. I get it. I get it. I'm not mad at you.
You ask a question,
you know.
So you think I'm kind of an asshole?
Kind, like a little bit.
Okay.
But that's okay.
Sometimes you gotta be an asshole.
We're all assholes a little bit.
I had something not similar,
but something came up,
and I want a ruling on this.
So we ordered groceries
for delivery from HEB
as we've been doing
a little bit more
in the global pandemic.
And it's actually just I don't want to go to the store.
Sometimes I don't feel like doing it on Sunday.
Too much sports on.
Ordered our groceries and said, you know, your groceries are arriving soon.
And they never arrived.
Like, oh, no, where's our groceries?
That's not good.
30 minutes passes. I look on the next door app
they got delivered to a different house okay call heb they completely refunded it and they
redo the re-deliver i called the woman she posted her number uh she called me back two hours later
she's like oh hey you know i've got your groceries She's like, what do you want me to do with them?
I was like, honestly, is there a way?
They're already refunded.
Let's donate what we can or whatever.
She said, okay, there's a food bank.
We'll do that.
And then she called me back.
She's like, okay, I donated all the non-perishables to the food bank.
She's like, I'm just going to go ahead and keep – I'll keep the eggs and stuff.
We needed them anyway.
And I was like uh okay the way
she said it like like i was just like because we had the only things that were perishable were the
eggs and like some oat milk so i didn't really care whatever but she was just like yeah i'll
just keep the eggs we needed them anyway i was like yeah go ahead and keep the eggs that kind
of fell into your lap you can have i'm. I'm not going to fight you on this.
But I thought it was a little presumptuous of her to think like,
yep, mine now, right?
Those are your eggs.
They're my eggs.
Those are your eggs, David.
I donated my eggs.
She has my eggs, and I did a nice thing by letting her keep my eggs.
Because I know her address.
I could have gone over there and gotten those fucking eggs.
You're kind of a hero for giving her the eggs.
Dude, I mean, I'm having a big hero 48 hours doing the podcast. I would have called the cops and gotten those fucking eggs. You're kind of a hero for giving her the eggs. Dude, I mean, I'm having a big hero
48 hours doing the podcast. I would have called the cops and gotten her
arrested for stealing my eggs. I'm going to keep the eggs.
These are my eggs.
I'm mimicking her. That's funny.
How off is the delivery?
Did they miss by like four houses? One number.
Okay. So, yeah.
Other end of the street. You know what you should do?
Egg her house.
Dude, you should egg her house.
That's a weird move.
I agree with you.
Dude, I'm going to pour oat milk in her gas tank and egg her house.
Nice.
She'll know it's you, though.
And it might even get parks and go do some flaming poo on their doorstep for good measure.
I'm going to get her car towed.
Will calls the towing company now.
It's like, oh, hey, Will.
To be clear, I've never towed another car in my entire life.
I swear.
I've never done that.
I was just not having it.
How are you, Mr. DeFreeze?
You can put it on my tab.
Had they not had the flat tires, I would have let them sit.
I probably would have let them sit for longer if they didn't have the flat tires.
But the fact that they had the flat tire signaled to me, I'm going to have to wait this out for way longer than I feel like I want to.
They could have kind of towed that evening or next morning
and fixed the car.
No, I did it for them. They're good.
I did it for them.
I'm still laughing about, I'll keep the eggs.
A tow yard is such a beating.
I mean, yeah, keep the eggs.
Why do they only accept cash?
That's a shady business.
Oh, it's the shadiest business.
Should we start a tow company?
Microtown.
I got a buddy who owns a tow company, actually.
Okay, so the HEB uses a delivery brand, like one of those,
to have the groceries picked up and brought.
When there's an error like that, is that on the driver?
Do they have to eat that, you think?
I don't think so.
Because I would kind of feel bad.
Yeah, I think they're probably fine.
Okay.
But I don't know.
Can we talk about skin real quick?
Oh, yeah.
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You guys have been using this stuff.
You a fan?
Big fan.
I didn't know charcoal was such a skincare thing until recently, and now I get it.
I get it.
Detoxifying.
It's big.
Their charcoal cleanser slaps.
Cleanses you.
Yes.
I love this stuff.
Their moisturizer, it smells like I'm at the spa.
Yes.
You know what I mean?
The moisturizer is delightful.
It smells like it costs so much money, which I love.
After I got that car towed the other day, I could feel a little sunburn coming in on my cheeks.
I went upstairs, and I just put some Lumin on.
And I just felt so much better.
While that person's just sitting in the hospital bed, like, hope my car's sitting there all safe.
I actually asked Sally.
I was like, hey.
I was like, Sally, can you tell me what I should use to reduce my sunburn a little bit, make it feel better?
And she went in.
She went in my drawer and she was like, just use any of these Lumin products.
She's like, these are all going to work just fine for you.
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You guys see this gender reveal that sparked a wildfire in California
that's grown to 7,000 acres?
I hate people.
Yes, I saw it.
It's another reason just to stop doing gender reveal parties.
I think, has COVID zapped gender reveal parties, like, altogether?
They're just drive-by now.
The last couple weeks, they've been popping.
They're just drive-bys right now, aren't they?
Or are people having actual ones?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Our friend Flounder, he had a drive-by one.
Okay.
Were there any truckers there?
Popped two with, like, a paintball gun.
Somebody in my neighborhood got shot with a paintball gun over the weekend.
What?
This reeks of Teen Dave.
I can't confirm that Teen Dave time traveled.
Yeah, a lady got shot in the leg.
What?
That's scary, dude.
By Colton Tyler?
I don't think it was them.
They don't put on paintball guy vibes.
They're too cool.
You guys want to hear the bird's eye view of how this happened?
Is it put out yet?
I don't believe it is.
It says there's multiple wildfires burning in California, which they're very serious there.
So however these people did this, they probably shouldn't have been doing what they were doing.
This reeks of Tannerite.
Yep.
It says one of the fires was started during a gender reveal party.
A smoke-generating pyrotechnic device used at the party caused the el dorado fire in san bernardino county the california fire cal fire said in a
press release the fire started saturday at 10 23 a.m at el dorado ranch and i can't even say that
word and spread from the park north of the ridge according to the release it's since grown to
7 050 acres as of monday. Evacuations have been ordered.
What were these people doing when they decided they need a giant smoke-generating pyrotechnic device?
They were going to play whatever the song is that the 90s bulls used to get introduced to,
and they were going to run through the smoke, like high five.
Everyone's just trying to outdo the one before them.
I've seen guys blow stuff up from afar. Like they'll have a gun and they'll shoot some tannerite and blow it up.
And then it'll release like a smoke bomb that's pink or blue.
It just doesn't seem like in a state that's being currently ravaged with fires to start doing this.
Yeah.
It's just so ridiculous.
Unless you're the guy who, there's a guy who his gender reveal he
he dunked i think someone threw him an alley-oop and he threw one down that's and there was some
something in the rim that like triggered a you know the like the powder whatever to come out
and it was either pink or blue i remember swim dunks always play so fucking yeah if i can do a
if i can do a windmill into something to reveal the gender of my child. What do you do? Just do low rim.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think, yeah.
Dude, come on.
Did y'all see LeBron's dunk last night?
Dude, his head was above the rim.
His bald-ass head.
Dude can still get up, huh?
Dude, he's got to figure that out.
He doesn't care.
He's giving up.
He's 36.
It happens.
How is he not just gotten full transplants?
Transplant?
Does it look like he tried? Yes. It just didn't take him? Did he just get a bad one? not like but how is he not just gotten full transplants transplants i think did does it
look like he tried yes i just didn't take you just get a bad one wayne rooney got one and he
still looks great i forgot that movie he was in what he's a world of free was good in it
amy schumer train wreck train wreck he was the highlight of the movie they they gave him like
the full he had a like a full head of hair for that it was pretty funny well yeah if i'm gonna
be in like a if i'm gonna be in an a-list movie, I'm like, hey, guys, you've got to touch this up.
He was the best character in that movie, hands down.
And this isn't even – I actually liked Amy Schumer at the time when that movie came out,
and I thought it was pretty funny to outdo her and Bill Hader.
He was good in that movie, man.
He really was.
Yeah, this is tough, man.
They're going to get in trouble for this.
Fines, potentially prosecution.
As they should.
It's absurd.
I know.
It was negligent.
Man, I don't even want to find out the gender of my child in front of other people.
I just want to keep to myself, man.
Is that what you did with the homie?
Oh, yeah, you told this.
You did it in private.
Doctor wrote down boy on a piece of paper, folded it up, put it in a envelope, and gave it to us.
We took it to Derek.
That's cool.
Yeah.
That's very cool.
Oh, boy.
Nope.
That's Mickey.
I don't know why you went there, but no.
I was trying to do the oh, boy from like the, I think it's a Chameleon Air song.
Cameron.
Cameron song.
Didn't work.
What was the Mickey? Boy!
That does kind of sound like Mickey.
Do you think he was remixing Mickey? No.
I don't know. I could see Cam'ron being a big Walt Disney guy.
Shouts to Lily and Drew who announced.
Yeah, major shouts.
Wow, big for them. That was cool.
A little bib. That was cool.
They got their dog involved.
Got to get the dog involved.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They told me a long time ago.
They actually,
they showed up to our apartment
to tell us
and no one shows up
to our apartment.
Like,
it's not an easy thing
to just show up
and pop in like,
oh, hey guys,
you have to go find
a parking spot
that's not reserved.
Right, right, right.
That's first and foremost.
And then you have to get
through a bunch of gates
and stuff.
So for them to get in, they had to really entrapment us
and then uh yeah we were just like what the hell are you doing here like what this is peak covid
like what are you doing but they came in wearing masks and they held up something and we were like
all right pretty cool pretty cool stuff did you say like man you could have just texted us
that's like dude why don't you just facetime dog went outside to the dog park i was actually
making a martini and drew was just, what are you doing right now?
I was wearing a man-use sweatshirt and boxers, just making a martini.
And he was just like, what do you do on a regular basis in this apartment?
Just tell people.
Peak's losing your mind.
Hey, were we going to talk about the TikTok influencer house?
If you want to.
I don't know if everyone's had a chance to see that but i i i can't i can't believe that that's real and i don't know if it's like a just a genius
marketing thing and like i thought it was i thought it was a bit is it no it's not a bit
even if it even if this was a bit the the actual tiktok that went viral it's a bit because they're
making fun of these
actual creator houses that exist in like la that's what i mean new york and stuff like that like not
everybody in the house is like a brand ambassador slash fitness trainer slash model slash like
motivational no but there are mindset coach i think i don't think you're grasping this i'm
saying i think it's a joke about creator houses and about like late 20s TikTokers that.
Okay.
That would make a little more sense.
But what I saw, this is, I don't know.
I assumed that this was like not, this was not self-aware.
These people were dead serious.
If this is dead serious and real, then it is the worst thing on the internet.
There's something called the Hype House in LA.
Have you heard of this?
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah. But those are for like, that's like the 19-year that get together yeah it's like logan paul yeah it's a bunch of just like little scumbags right like just the photo of them in
their new york times article makes them look like a bunch of they would flame us off the face of the
air this is where they send the uh add me on the gram kid and those that whole ilk who like go
viral real quick and then they send them to these houses
And everything's badass
They probably rent a bunch of really dope cars
And they film a bunch of videos
And then for the next six months
They just roll out these clips of the kid
And everybody thinks the kid's like balling out
Just e-boy haircuts
Okay
It's all making sense now
I mean
Come on
Oh
That first guy with the e-boy haircut yeah is so punchable which i think
is just k-pop haircuts right i don't know i don't know k-pop i can't keep up with the kids anymore
that's a trend i'm not even gonna try to jump on it was always a running bit on this podcast
that we're kind of like phasing out of all this stuff like for a while i didn't actually feel
like i was and i'm now i definitely feel like i'm phasing out and not totally understanding
what's going on some of the high school kids at lifetime are bleaching their hair now if you've seen them
Dave they're going full South Lake Carol it's catching on to what the worst look of these kids
is that they have all the hair pushed to the front of their head eboy and then they put the then they
put the the hood up on their hoodie oh and it's just sitting on the crown of their head but then
all the hairs just flowing I I really do I hate them. Dude, it's like the goth kid's haircut in South Park,
if anybody's familiar.
Why are hoodies so popular today?
Hoodies are tight.
I need a good hoodie.
But these kids, they put them on inside,
and they, like, it's trash.
They look like they belong at the mall.
Yeah.
Imagine your kid being like, hey, Dad,
can I like
instead of
instead of like
going to college this year
can I just go to the
the hype house in LA
LA
Los Angeles
I would
ugh
give him a spanking
no
calm down dude
no
that's all I had on the
TikTok influencer house
I kind of forgot that it existed
yeah I don't even have the tweet to reference.
It's just, it's out there on the Twitter.
It's in the Twitter sphere.
It's really bad.
I think it's got to be, you know what,
now the more I think about it,
it's got to be like mocking the Hype House
and things of that ilk.
I couldn't tell if it was fake or not
just based on how fake it just seems to me
that there's actual creator houses out there.
Yeah, like those are real things.
See, I didn't realize that that was a real deal.
It's the real deal.
Jeez.
It's the real deal.
You know what else is a real deal?
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Okay, this is what I do.
I'm not even kidding.
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so good.
And it's kind of like a punch in the face.
It wakes me up. Like a good one. It smells so good. And that's kind of like a punch in the face. It wakes me up.
Like a good one.
It smells so good.
And that's before you even get to the actual vitamins.
I know.
That's all before it even does anything to your body.
Yeah.
I made parks do it, actually.
I said, here, smell this.
He goes, ooh, that's good.
Yeah, it's a ritual, dog.
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So I noted this i downloaded tony
hawks pro skater the other day after our dinner after the big night out dave you officially
downloaded it since yeah which one are you playing one or two uh i like the levels in two way more
than i like the levels in number one i've been playing two also so i'm a two boy uh yeah dylan
have you ever even
touched the sticks when tony hawk's on not once i can't imagine you ever being good at this game
you and it's at the point now where like i don't even think you should even start what was the uh
the snowboarding game ssx i played that a lot actually that one's less realistic than tony
hawk tony hawk's wildly, but it has more realistic features.
Point being, it's the most similar to this game that I've ever played.
Or was it 1080 that you played?
Or was it SSX?
It was a 1080 SSX, I believe.
I had all of them.
If it was a game where you had a board, I was trying to play it.
I had Kelly Slater's Pro Surfer.
Never played that either.
I would venture to guess that i was one of the best
kelly slater pro surfers players to watch or to walk the earth wow there's no way you could prove
that i know at the time i couldn't now you can prove it now you can prove it twitch it dude i
was so good at one point that i could keep going without even like if the clock ran out it's like
you throw the rope i'm going until i'm i'm until I'm done. You're the first to shotgun a beer on Kelly Slater, pro surfer.
Exactly.
Did this bring back any nostalgic feels for you, Dave?
It worked out yesterday to the Pro Skater 2 soundtrack.
I love that move.
When Bad Religion comes on, I throw that one on repeat.
It's a short song, as most Bad Religion songs are.
Great song.
I had a song come on when I first started playing
Mill and Colin, No Cigar.
And that
song was, it made its
way away from the game and into our friend group
and all we did was just listen to a lot
of Mill and Colin for a little bit. I forgot how
prominent Rage Against the Machines Gorilla
Radio was on Pro Skater 2.
It gets a lot of play. I kind of forgot that
that was even on the soundtrack.
Good song. Very good song. That's one of my favorite
lines of any song ever.
It's a great song. What's the line, Dave?
More for Gore or the son of a drug lord.
None of the above. Fuck it. Cut
the cord. Wow. This is pre-2000
election, so they're saying
we don't support Gore or Bush.
So they weren't doing an ad for YouTube TV?
No.
Makes sense. Cut the cord. That's good. Oh, so they weren't doing an ad for YouTube TV? No. Okay.
Makes sense.
Cut the cord.
That's good.
Actually, might have been ahead of their time.
They could have been.
They don't like the establishment.
They do not.
They rage against it often.
What's your biggest combo you've done so far?
Dude, I'm not good.
15,000?
I mean, those are starter numbers.
Yeah, I'm having trouble, man.
I'm in between going for big scores and then chasing skate
or chasing the hall passes and the school level.
I'm like, I just want to get past this level because I don't like the school level.
It's very boring.
There's not really any vert ramps.
See, I'm a combo boy, so it catched me grinding and
manualing everywhere. Yeah, I'm
figuring that out now. It's coming back to me.
I did the tutorial.
I'm the type of person that when I start
playing that game, I don't even bother trying to
get skate or anything like that.
I just do all the high score ones first
to see how many levels I can unlock by just
getting high scores on every single level.
That's smart.
And then I go back and do the really easy tasks so I can unlock everything else.
I'll be playing today.
You know you can just go free skate or do single sessions at other places, right?
I did not.
You can access every level without actually earning those levels.
Well, I feel like a dumbass now.
It took me over 24 hours to do that.
Cool, man.
I'm going to just fuck off.
I'm going to tow your car.
Does it have warehouse on it? Mm-hmm. Okay. That's the first level I care about. That's all I care about.. Cool, man. I'm going to just fuck off. I'm going to tow your car. Does it have warehouse on it?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
That's all I care about.
Come on, bro.
That's the one with the helicopter.
Right?
No.
Well, that's also a warehouse.
That's a hangar, actually.
That's the hangar in Mullet, Montana.
I used to call Dylan that.
Mm-hmm.
Hangar.
I don't remember why, but yeah, they did.
It's because you'd make really good hangar steak?
Yeah.
Yes.
Interesting.
I think we're going to have to twitch this and get Dylan on the sticks just to see how –
Just to make fun of me.
And then I'll go immediately after.
On Warzone?
We can –
All right.
That's the tradeoff.
We can do that.
If I'm going to look like a dumbass, you have to also.
I'll make you look like a dumbass in Tony Hawk, and then you make me look like one.
I don't know.
Have you even gotten a kill on camera yet for Twitch?
Yeah.
Was it in the Gulag?
I got two playing the first time I played on Dave's account.
I got two.
Dave hit the over last week, three and a half.
A lot of people won a lot of money on me.
I haven't played that game since last week.
I don't know why I just said that.
I'm making excuses already.
Were you at the ranch?
Yeah.
It'd be weird if you were just up there gaming the entire time.
Yeah. Shut'd be weird if you were just up there gaming the entire time. Yeah.
Shut up, Mom!
I did learn that both my stepbrothers are Warzone guys,
and we're going to drop in together.
Really?
It's going to be fun.
Yeah.
Do they have good names?
I have no idea.
No Fajita Boy swag or anything?
Come on.
No, nothing that cool.
We've got to get out of here,
because we've got too much dip about to record in here.
Brad, do you have any breaking news?
Yeah, I'll go real quick, Will.
As a matter of fact, I do.
I'm glad you asked.
A little choose your adventure here.
Dylan, do you want to go 90s Playboy Bunnies, Smoked Meats, or Forbes Billionaires?
I think people expect me to go Playboy Bunnies, so let's just start there.
Yeah, well, Pamela Anderson, you know her, right?
Yep.
She was married for 12 days to a certain John Peters, but now as a new squeeze, it is her security guard she's been spending quarantine with.
Really?
Yeah.
Good for them.
Found love in a COVID place.
She found love in a COVID place on Vancouver Island.
Oh, Banff.
Right near Banff.
Yeah, you got to think she's doing both in one day.
Both, yeah.
She beat hepatitis C, so shout out to her.
Good for her.
In smoked meats, a list just came out from the Daily Mail,
no relation to the Daily Mail,
that says,
here's the most searched grill recipe this summer in every state.
Texas.
Ribs.
Grilled salmon.
No, this is trash. This is clickbait. Probably because we talk about salmon so much. Ribs. Grilled salmon. No.
This is trash.
This is clickbait.
Probably because we talk about salmon so much.
No way.
Grilled salmon of the 50 states appeared 12 times to top the list.
You know what?
It also appeared in Michigan.
It did.
It did.
Among the others, grilled zucchini appeared 12 times.
You know what?
It makes sense.
Oklahoma as well.
Charcoal grilled salmon.
Maybe people here don't eat enough fish and they're having to look up the recipe.
Ohio had salmon as well.
They already know how to do the other stuff.
Is this just a list of salmon recipes?
Midwestern states.
Because everyone I've searched so far has just been that.
You know what?
It's probably why because, wow.
Sounds like big fish.
How about that sentence?
It sounds like big fish is involved somehow.
I think people just don't know how to do it where you kind of have that innate recipe or good band.
You know how to cook a steak or grill a steak.
You know how to grill a burger.
You don't need to look them up.
Right.
Yeah.
Brisket, though, I feel like very few people are eyeballing a brisket.
But what are people in Wyoming doing sitting there Googling grilled chicken thigh recipes?
Like, just put some barbecue sauce on it and grill it well well well they do look really good well I'm
gonna tell your ass uh Massachusetts your car that is Massachusetts shot to our Boston batters
out there and decided to stunt with grilled swordfish being the top top search recipe
say Vermont went grilled tuna steak also he. Hell of mercury. And then Washington, D.C.
Grilled peaches.
You see what Pennsylvania does.
Millions of peaches.
No, what Pennsylvania do.
Grilled zucchini.
Fucking dorks.
That's dumb.
North Dakota went grilled jumbo shrimp.
I can't imagine the jumbo shrimp in North Dakota is as ideal as maybe, I don't know,
Florida.
I'm going to need to see their methods on collecting this data.
Yeah, I don't believe this at all.
Have you ever grilled a peach, though?
They're fantastic.
It pops.
Really good.
I had some yesterday.
You know who the newest Forbes billionaire is, Dave?
Logan Paul.
Tyler Perry.
Oh.
It's all trending recently.
I would assume a couple different franchises.
Tyler Perry.
I would assume a couple different franchises.
Tyler Perry, now with his Madea franchise,
Tyler Perry's movie franchise, and his studio,
a billion dollars.
That's quite lucrative.
Quite lucrative.
Good for Tyler Perry.
Good for Tyler Perry, yeah. Call him TP.
Why?
Just to save time.
Oh, okay.
With syllables.
Okay.
Cool, cool.
Cool. Okay. Is that all we got today, boys? That was a jam-packed epi. save time oh okay those syllables okay cool cool cool
okay
is that all we got today boys
that was a jam packed epi
it was jam packed
we had a lot
that hour 15 flew by
it's labor day dude
we had to put in our labor
there it is
good stuff man
labor day
bye bye