Circling Back - Chernobyl Dogs & Budget Airlines
Episode Date: June 3, 2019Dave saw live-action Aladdin, Will flew Spirit Airlines for the first time, and Dillon exposes himself for quote-tweeting a scantily clad high schooler. We also talk about adopting Chernobyl dogs and ...Dave's Combat Sports Minute. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (16:38) Dave Saw Aladdin (35:18) Spirit Airlines vs. Southwest (50:09) Adopt A Chernobyl Dog (1:06:45) Dillon Exposes Himself (1:13:10) Combat Sports Minute Quip: www.getquip.com/circlingback (free refill pack) Scentbird: www.scentbird.com/circlingback (CIRCLINGBACK for 50% off first month) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast it's monday my name is will caprice to my right dave
ruff today's podcast performance will be brought to you by the TacLight Pro.
TacLight Pro, the only tactical light in my toolbox.
I get why you like this guy.
I don't get why you like him so much.
Who, Nick Bolton?
Dude, he's so weird.
Dude, TacLight Pro guy.
You know when you see him come onto your TV screen,
something's getting fucked up.
What, onto my TV screen?
Is that what you're going to say?
No.
You thought about it.
No.
Dude, get your head out of the gutter.
Dylan, what do you think about Tacklight Pro guy?
I don't really know who he is, but you should clarify that that's non-spawn.
Yeah, that's true.
That sounds so spawn.
If they do want to do Tacklight Pro sponsorships, I'm down.
I would like one. We do not have a promo code for you for a Tacklight Pro.
Comment on all their Instagrams asking for a circling back promo code.
All I know is when I see this guy with his camo pants and his tight black t-shirt tucked
into the camo pants, I know something's about to get demolished.
You know you're about to get your credit card out too and buy something.
Yeah.
Oh, I ordered three.
I ordered some for the whole family.
Randy's even got one.
Dude, I mean, I don't think Randy needs one.
Yeah, I don't think he does.
Is it like a headlamp? It's going gonna go on the back of his collar okay that's fine
uh my assessment of him is that he's an snl skit that never gets funny it's just like what okay
what's about to happen like what's about to get to make jokes it's your own peril dude this is on
this is the words will to freeze not me i also like i feel like i'm the type of person that like
i don't need like the military
grade stuff because I'm not doing badass shit.
You don't need tack light?
I need like the, I need the bottom of the barrel stuff at this point.
I need tactical only for what I'm trying to do.
What are you trying to do?
Yeah.
Just all this shit.
All right.
I like, I like imagining you and Randy just like sitting in your house, like with like
a critter cam on like a tree outside and you guys just with your flashlights
ready to go.
Just all hours.
Critter cam.
Did y'all see that
leopard video?
Yeah. No, I mean, how couldn't you?
We got tagged in it like a million times.
Do you know they could do that?
I didn't know they could do it with such ease.
And by that i mean
scale trees that's a bad animal what what was up in the tree he was trying to get that was a mother
chasing okay so the first one is a a male going up to kill a cub a rival male or a future rival
going to take it out oh shit that's what they do future rival i didn't know they got down like that
and then the mom sees it she comes over and she gangster. Fucking stone cold stuns him out of the tree.
Yeah, she's like, no, not on my watch.
That's some Game of Thrones type shit.
Yeah.
Let's take out this future king.
Where's the Baratheon bastard?
Yeah, like that.
Dude, totally, right?
You're not there yet, Will.
Dude, totally.
You get it?
Totally, dude.
I get it.
That's wild.
That's so good.
It's fucking wild out there.
Damn.
That's why you need a TacLite Pro.
Imagine if those things had TacLite Pros.
Dude, a leopard with a TacLite, just cruising through the night all stealth-like, and then he hits a TacLite.
He's on your ass.
They normally have really good vision at night, so it's weird.
Do they?
Yeah, I think so.
I didn't know that.
It may not be true, but it sounds like it's right. I don't think they get out much at night maybe they do kind of like
me what what i don't get out much at night are you like is this like a cry for help like do you
want to get invited more play like what do you want like i don't it's a go fund me to help dylan
yeah party more it's an emotional go fund me you He needs some friends. It's a friend fund me. I party enough.
Too much.
Dude, chill.
I partied with you Friday.
I know.
Wow.
That's what I'm saying, man.
Wow.
Some of y'all don't even party in his shows.
Dude, I had breakfast yesterday.
I guess I had brunch with Dylan and the homie yesterday.
Yeah.
Where did Joe eat?
Joanne's.
Homie got pancakes.
How is their brunch?
Really fucking good.
The brunch was hard. Dude, breakfast tacos. How is their brunch? Really fucking good. Oh, the brunch was hard.
Dude, the breakfast taco
was surprisingly amazing.
We technically missed brunch time.
Yeah.
Because we ordered some breakfast items
off their lunch menu.
Yeah, we had to mash that lunch button.
Still goes real hard, though.
It's good to know.
It's chilly eating.
The homie went,
he did something that no one else does.
He went milkshake straight into pancakes.
Yeah, he did. For those wondering, that's Dylan's son. Yeah. He went milkshake straight into pancakes. Yeah, he did.
For those wondering, that's Dylan's son.
Yeah.
His very young son.
He went milkshake to cakes, pancakes.
I actually really like that.
Is he a vanilla guy?
He strikes me as a vanilla guy.
We got chocolate.
Okay.
Yeah.
So I was wrong.
Yeah.
Cool.
Yeah.
We had a good time, man.
Yeah.
Cool.
Yeah.
Cool. We had a good time, man.
Do we need to acknowledge
Intern Klein's article?
Sports talk?
What's it called?
Yeah, we have bad news.
Pro Football Talk.
It's Sports Talk.
Yeah, we have bad news.
We lost an intern.
Yeah, we lost Intern Klein.
He's still alive.
Yeah, yeah.
But he's moving on to a paying gig.
He's no longer our intern, though.
Yeah, he got hired by the Dallas Cowboys.
It's weird because he actually never was.
No, I mean, he was, though.
He was a symbolic intern.
Yeah, it was just kind of like...
It's like getting an honorary degree from a college.
We were giving him an honorary thing
just so we have him on our roster.
He's a cowboy now.
Yeah, good for him.
I should have been a cowboy.
Should have learned to...
Rope and ride.
Rope and ride.
Yeah.
What else?
Wearing my six-shooter, baby.
Riding my pony on a cattle drive.
We went to a boot store
and a hat store yesterday.
We did.
We got too little content out of it.
Did nobody buy boots?
No.
No one bought boots as far as...
Well, I left before y'all.
Dylan mentally bought boots as a gift for me from my wedding.
That's what I'm getting.
That's what I'm getting.
You're not getting me boots.
Yes, I am.
It's too expensive.
I'll never wear them.
He'll never wear boots.
Will you ever wear them?
Now that...
After seeing Letterman interviewing Kanye in cowboy boots...
You can pull them off.
I was like, shit.
Letterman looks tight.
But Letterman's more lanky than me, though. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Letterman was wearing the cowboy boots. You can pull them off. I was like, shit. Letterman looks tight. But Letterman's more lanky than me, though.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Letterman was wearing the cowboy boots?
He was wearing some sick cowboy boots.
I missed all this.
So they dropped all the Letterman episodes.
My next guest needs no introduction.
And the first episode was he interviewed Kanye.
Oh, okay.
And so I actually watched another one last night, too.
It's funny Kanye's going to dodge Rogan and go on Letterman.
He didn't dodge Rogan.
He dodged him.
Didn't they come to the consensus that it was better if he just didn't go on?
Yeah, Rogan won't have somebody on just to have him on.
I bet Kanye had some, like, absurd demands.
Oh, I read differently.
That they came to, like, a mutual agreement that they were like,
hey, I don't know if we want to go this deep into stuff.
It's just going to cause more problems for you.
Oh, well, like Rogan's team kind of thought that.
Well, they would.
But this is all talking mental health and they should probably have somebody who's like
a professional on.
Yeah.
And not Kanye.
Well, Kanye came out after and he said he wasn't even bipolar at one point.
He was like, I was misdiagnosed, which kind of like makes everything weird.
I feel like that being said that i thought the
letterman with with kanye was not very good well here's my concern about getting you boots though
i don't think you have the wardrobe to go with that reason you're just gonna be like i can't
wear these because i have you know a closet full of oatmeal one pair of jeans i know i know i have
my jean game like growing up i never worn jeans i was a Chino boy my entire life. And so now that I have a pair of jeans,
like, they're not nice jeans.
You never had jeans in high school?
Nope.
Were Chinos even around in high school?
Dude, your boy rocks khakis and navy blue pants all times.
I believe it as well.
Dude, that's all I wore in high school was jeans.
I get it.
I had Tommy jeans.
Jeans are great.
Yeah, I just... But no, it's a valid concern. I had Tommy jeans. Jeans are great. Yeah, I just...
But no, it's a valid concern.
I have some Chelsea boots that I've been waiting to bust out for like a year.
Well, you don't have to.
I don't have anything to wear them with.
Yeah, maybe I won't get you boots.
I want them to get worn if I'm going to get them.
No, no.
It's tough.
Whatever, dude.
You can get me a hat.
You're such a letdown.
Let's get hats.
All right.
You've got to have boots if you're going to get a hat.
I bet.
No, dude. I'm just going to wear flip-ops dude let's get let's get beaver skin flap rooms
let's do it yeah we need the flap rooms yeah it's straw season though i know that's actually why we
went shopping yesterday we were looking for straw hats and it turns out we're gonna buckies felt
season is always around the corner though dave it's true yeah i mean in the fall i feel like
we couldn't be further from felt season at this point but felt season here doesn't really start until december because it's
really hot it's too hot some may still felt up oh you can but you're gonna sweat through the felt
nah sweat through the pelt nah player yeah especially that dumb ears man fuck off
sorry you can introduce dylan no man fuck dylan uh if you're listening to this there's a there's Sorry. You gonna introduce Dylan? No, man. Fuck Dylan.
If you're listening to this,
there's a 50 to 75% chance that our new shirt is up on the site.
Go to washmedia.com slash shop.
People wanted a more low-key shirt,
so the more low-key shirt they're getting.
If it's not up, it'll be up.
If you follow us at Circling Back Pod
on Twitter and Instagram,
you'll know exactly when it's up.
But it's launching today.
Promise.
Also, tonight, Bachelorette.
I'm really excited.
I think we get the rugby scene tonight.
Is that true?
The trailer looks pretty good.
It looks like the most dramatic episode yet.
And so we also have, in addition to us breaking it down tomorrow on Patreon, patreon.com slash
Circling Back Podcast.
We also have some uncut.
Whoa.
Lost tapes.
Lost tapes from Cam.
No shit.
We ran it back.
I can't say too much about it,
but we did two interviews with Cam.
What?
Yep.
It was, yeah.
If you want to hear about
John Paul Jones,
it's going to be on the
Patreon episode tomorrow.
The truth about JPJ.
Yep. Apparently there's a drink named after JPJ. I don't know if it's going be on the Patreon episode tomorrow the truth about JPJ yep
apparently there's a drink
named after JPJ
I don't know if it's gonna catch on
but there's
there's a drink named after
JPJ
like at a certain
specific bar
or just generally
the Bachelor Mansion
oh
okay
should we just start a bar
called the Bachelor Mansion
and just have photos up
like paintings of all the
Bachelor people
it sounds like a tight ass gay bar
yeah
yeah let's go we should definitely start i'm in okay i don't know anything about
running a bar i think you just give drinks out you gotta get like tabc certified and shit oh
we can talk to ice and hours maybe they don't do like an adx yeah you're not certified you've
never been certified i mean yeah technically, technically that's pretty accurate.
Finally, if you want our Friday Patreon episode,
listener voicemails every single Friday,
again, go to patreon.com, circling back podcast.
Do I need to apologize for Micah?
Nope.
I was going to say it's our most listened to Patreon episode.
Is it?
I don't know.
I'm going to guess, maybe.
It's kind of offensive to me if that's the case.
Well, dude,
people want to hear
what this unhinged madman has to say.
He's still just so polarizing.
It's crazy.
Yeah, it's wild.
The reactions are split.
You love going on Reddit
and seeing two new posts
and one of them is
I hate Micah
and the other one is
so good to hear Micah again.
Yeah.
Either people just really love the kid
or they want him dead, basically.
It's interesting.
Full disclosure,
I haven't listened yet.
I'm scared to a little bit.
He brings the heat,
as you can imagine.
He's probably...
Well...
The state of Ohio...
Yeah, he trusts a whole...
People were tweeting at me
looking for...
Being like,
oh, I wish Will would have been on there.
He might have had something good to say.
Oh, yeah, Will, big Ohio guy?
Yeah, like...
No, people from Michigan mostly don't like Ohio very much.
So I don't know if you want my takes.
I can't.
You still took some fire, too, because somehow, like, in all of it,
when Micah was going in on Ohio State t-shirt fans,
someone brought it back to Michigan t-shirt fans.
Michigan t-shirt fans are bad.
Are they?
Yeah.
I'm one.
I'm one, for sure.
Any big university is going to have them.
Yeah.
But you're not that much.igan's might be the worst your big state school is gonna be a t-shirt fan thing for sure
yeah ut's bad too oh you oh you goes under the radar i feel like here's go to oklahoma city go
to norman the t-shirt fandom there is absurd my knee-jerk ohio tags are southeast ohio pretty dope hilly pretty cleveland
underrated city i don't necessarily want to go to cleveland all the time but it's not a bad city
you know what my take on cleveland has been what cleveland rocks yeah there you go i think the
issue with cleveland is that they had their their lake set on fire that one time.
And that's hard to bounce back from.
The look Dave just gave after he said that is super punchable.
I can't make eye contact with him.
The entire western side of Ohio is geographically a nightmare.
It's just boring and shitty.
What major city is over there?
Are we really doubling down on the whole Ohio?
I don't even know.
We're letting Will get his licks in.
Well, dude.
Dude, people from...
No, no, Will can't stop part of the state.
People from Ohio...
Your body's already cold, man.
Just let it lie.
People from Ohio try to act like Michigan is like their rival.
And it's like, no, our state is clearly so much better than your state.
Oh, man.
This is going to reignite it. Well, dude, like think about it. Like, no, our state is clearly so much better than your state. Oh, man. This is going to reignite it.
Well, dude, think about it.
We're surrounded by water.
That's better than being surrounded by, what, Illinois, Kentucky, and other states?
Whatever.
Dude, that's lame.
Okay, we don't have to go into it.
All I'm saying is...
Are y'all really surrounded by water?
Yeah, dude.
I thought it was just one lake.
Dude, if you seek a pleasant peninsula, look about you.
Okay.
That's the state motto, Dave.
Look, upon review, the fact that Drew Carey, you guys got Cleveland, you got Drew Carey, I'm in.
Yeah.
I'm in, baby.
That's all it takes?
The Drew Carey show is iconic.
Yeah.
I went to a live taping.
Weren't you a big Mimi guyimi guy no i was not a big
mimi guy mimi mimi is an underrated character from the 90s that no one ever talks about
she was iconic she was she's oh that character stung she stung but that's what was so great
about her she owned it i hated her like she was a great foil for drew i was a big oswald guy
okay he was great on uh whose line is it was he the one yeah i used to watch that shit
wayne that's where we got wayne brady dude whose line was incredible those guys are talented man
as a former improv guy myself really shout out to the ninth grade improv team i took an improv
class in high school that's where it didn't go well for me that Shout out to my teacher, Mr. Craddock, a.k.a. Mr. Radcock.
Oh, yes.
That's him.
Good old Mr. Radcock.
I remember that.
For some reason, he didn't like that name.
That's weird.
Take it as a compliment, sir.
Yeah.
Let's talk about Quip real quick.
You guys know that, I mean, you're a father, Dylan.
You know Father's Day is right around the corner?
I do.
Is the homie graduating from anything this year? He's the 16th of this month, I believe. Is he graduating from high school yet? No, he's a father, Dylan. You know Father's Day is right around the corner. I do. Is the homie graduating from anything this year?
The 16th of this month, I believe.
Is he graduating from high school yet?
No, he's just four or so.
Well, if he was, you know, you could get them a one-size-fits-all gift.
Still working on it.
Like a new oral health routine with Quip.
Are you familiar with Quip?
I use Quip, obviously.
The guiding features make sticking to good habits simple.
And signing them up for a subscription helps them save and refresh their toothbrush on time. i get my refill packs in the mail constantly i love them it's important it's a
new battery more toothpaste new new head is great uh if you don't know about quip it's a toothbrush
it's a great toothbrush sensitive sonic vibrations for an effective clean that's gentle on your
sensitive gums a lot of people brush too hard and some toothbrushes
are too abrasive.
Quip is not like that.
Do you guys brush your teeth
for two full minutes?
I do now.
Because of Quip?
Since I started using Quip.
Yeah.
Before I was doing it
for like 20 minutes
and I realized
I was doing it way too long.
Yeah.
And now the vibrations
are guiding you
and your life has changed.
Notifies you
when to switch
regions of your mouth.
Yeah.
You've got to cover
the whole thing, Dave.
Yeah.
90% of people don't do that right.
You know, 75% of people use old, worn-out bristles that are ineffective.
Can you imagine?
You can't do that.
Couldn't be me.
Dylan used to use a Brillo pad.
It's true.
I heard at one point you were just using your finger when things were real down.
That's fucking, that's rock bottom.
Have you ever done that?
Oh, I've done it.
Probably in high school.
I've done it in like a pinch.
I've done it in like sleepovers when I was a kid. Like, oh, I forgot my toothbrush. Yeah, for sure. Can you ever done that? I don't know. I've done it. Probably in high school. I've done it in like a pinch. I've done it in like sleepovers when I was a kid. Like, oh, I forgot my toothbrush.
Yeah, for sure. Can you send that TP? But Quip is one of the first electric toothbrushes accepted
by the American Dental Association. They're backed by over 25,000 dental professionals,
and they have thousands of verified five-star reviews. We love Quip, and that's why over one
million people are happy and their mouths are healthy.
Quip starts at just $25, and if you go to getquip.com slash circlingback right now,
you can get your first refill pack for free.
First refill pack free.
G-E-T-Q-U-I-P dot com slash circlingback.
Let's do it.
Dave.
Let's do it.
Tell us about Aladdin.
Well, you guys want to talk Aladdin?
Mm-hmm.
So I think Twitter was quick to roast this movie when the Will Smith genie stuff came out.
Mm-hmm.
And everybody kind of piled on, like, they're going to ruin Aladdin.
Mm-hmm.
The early trailers, they didn't look great.
I remember being in that camp.
I thought they did look great, minus the Will Smith part.
I have to say, I saw the movie recently.
Okay.
I viewed this motion picture.
And Aladdin is great.
Thank you.
Really?
I'm so glad you said that.
I've been waiting to talk to you about this.
So Aladdin, I think, in terms of Disney movies, is my number one.
It's up there for me.
It's one or two.
I had a big Robin Williams phase as a child.
Okay.
And that went on into my preteen years.
You were a big Doubtfire guy?
Doubtfire did it for me.
Still quoted every now and then.
Run by fruiting.
Remember that?
Dylan has the face of a guy who has never seen Mrs. Doubtfire.
Oh, no.
I've seen Mrs. Doubtfire.
You didn't like it?
I thought it was fine.
And I know this sounds insensitive because the guy has passed on.
I've just never been a Robin Williams guy.
Okay.
Yeah.
That makes sense.
That's an all-time bad take on this podcast.
I don't think so.
His demonstrative way of trying to be funny
just doesn't really do much for me.
Yeah, but what about his serious roles?
Good Will Hunting?
He was fine in that.
So you don't like Chris Farley?
I love Chris Farley.
Because he seems like he has a demonstrative way
of being fun.
I don't like the way
Robin Williams does it.
Expose him!
These are different guys.
Did it, Dylan.
He's passed.
Actually, Chris Farley
may be the best of all time.
There, I said it.
Wow, Dylan really
bringing the fuego.
Okay.
Well, here's...
The line's tight.
Here was my fear
with the live action.
Jungle Book was not good.
I never saw it.
It wasn't good.
And it looked weird.
It was too much of a departure from the original movie. I didn't want a mimic of it, but it just wasn't it it wasn't good and it looked weird it was too much of a departure
from the original movie
I didn't want like a mimic of it
but it just wasn't
it wasn't good
to me
and so I was like
how much should I actually trust
the Aladdin version
but like both Aladdin
and Jasmine
they looked like absolute snacks
in those trailers
they could not have found
two hotter people
yeah
that's what I thought
when I saw the cartoon
for the first time
we talked about this
like she's top tier okay so like I don't for the first time. We talked about this. She's top tier.
Okay, so I don't remember the Disney version very much.
I haven't watched it in years.
That shouldn't surprise anybody.
I'll say this.
I was worried about Aladdin opening scene.
Not to give away any spoilers, but it's Will Smith on the boat with his family.
And he busts into song just out of nowhere.
And maybe it's not out of nowhere if you've seen the the disney originally but they don't do that in the original i don't
know well he busts into song and it's like it comes out of the gates hot and you're kind of
like oh god me i was a little bit uncomfortable are the songs new or the old ones i think there's
a mix it's it's all the old i believe this is right it's the old ones and then there's a couple new mixed in okay but other than that the entire thing
delivers it's fun uh jafar is not great he's not as alpha as he should be jafar i remember as a kid
being kind of scared actually really scared he was kind of just a a dark long face yeah just
very scary he's the human version of scar from yeah exactly both of them scared the shit out of
me this dude like you actually he kind of has like a backstory and you're not sympathetic but
you're like oh man that's sad this guy's got a little chip on his shoulder i'm not i'm not
jafar stan or sympathetic but. But Will Smith was great.
I thought I was going to be very standoffish towards him
because I am a Robin Williams guy or was.
R.I.P.
Have you ever seen Will Smith in something where you weren't like,
all right, he was good?
I feel like every time I see him in something, I'm like, he crushed that.
Oh, he's great.
Wasn't he in Suicide Squad or some shit?
I'm not seeing that. I'm not either. I'm not seeing that crushed that. Oh, he's great. Wasn't he in Suicide Squad or some shit? I'm not seeing that.
I'm not either.
I'm not seeing that.
I thought that was terrible.
Yeah, the reviews from that just slid.
I didn't really want to see it in the first place, and the reviews from it, I was like,
yeah, I'm good.
I didn't like all the Harley Reid Halloween costumes.
Oh, God.
It was just so overdone.
That was the Dark Knight, the Heath Ledger Joker.
Yes.
For ladies.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Great call. Yeah. Great call.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Dave, did you hear that Will and I are going to see Rocketman this week?
Yeah.
We talked about this before the podcast.
Dude, are you coming with us or what?
I don't know.
You invited me.
Dylan kind of...
That was weird what he just did.
Yeah.
I'm excited for it.
You should come, Dave.
Reviews are mixed.
You know I will.
Are they mixed? You should attend the movie with us. Are they mixed? That's what I'm saying. I think You should calm down. Reviews are mixed. You know I will. Are they mixed?
You should attend the movie with us.
Are they mixed?
That's what I'm saying.
I think I have blinders on,
so I'm only reading positive reviews
because I really want it to be awesome.
It can't be as bad as the Queen thing.
It's got our boy from,
whatchamacallit.
The Queen thing was good,
I thought.
It was fine,
but I thought the,
I don't think it was Oscar worthy.
Agreed.
Did these intentionally come out
so close
to each other
it's gonna get compared
there's gonna be
10 more of these
if you're the dude
from Kingsman
who's Elton John
how pissed are you
that the other guy
that what
Remy Malek
or whatever his name is
won the Oscar
because like
they can't double down
you know this dude
sings his songs too
really
he sings the Elton John songs
no shit
he's awesome
something Remy Malek
could never do
my favorite thing
in the world
is enlightening people
to how awesome Kingsman movies are I will say though it is more difficult to sing
queen songs and relton john songs sure sure a little bit more vocal range both have pipes but
yeah great pipes i'm not getting a queen song what do you call that falsetto that that high
pitched uh thing that palmetto palmetto yeah wax-based cologne fulton and rourke oh yeah that's
right okay i get those confused.
I opened a random drawer cleaning a couple days ago.
You found some Palmetto in there.
Dude, I found like three Fulton and Rourkes.
Did you just cover yourself in it?
Yeah, I just drenched.
Love that.
Can I ask some other questions about this movie?
Please.
Please clap.
How was Zazu?
The monkey?
Or Abu, sorry. I'm mixing up zaza king joey zaza zazu's from uh what's it called lion king how was abu he was great i was actually getting gonna jump
into that monkey was tight just a fucking mischievous monkey who just steals i love it
that's i mean that's what you want out of i love a monkey something i completely forgot is that
jasmine has a tiger yeah i forgot all about the tiger yeah that's a that's what you want out of a movie monkey. Something I completely forgot is that Jasmine has a tiger.
Yeah.
I forgot all about the tiger.
Yeah.
That's a, that's a bad bitch move.
Dylan, you're going to be pissed because all I could think about the entire time with the tiger was, well, yeah, obviously this thing is murking, Dylan.
But.
Well, yeah, it's a tiger.
How, uh, Game of Thrones, they thought it was so difficult to have like a scene where Jon pet a ghost in that one episode.
They're like, well, you know, CGI.
Dude, they have this fucking tiger in there in the entire movie who's just hanging out, getting pets, roaring at people.
What?
You're telling me we can't get a budget for Game of Thrones?
Why was that a budgetary issue?
I'm so confused about that.
No, it's not.
That's just them.
They're trying to cover their ass because they're lazy.
What happened with this?
No, then they're just people were the dire wolves in the books and then early on the show
in game of thrones were very kind of important and symbolic yeah in the final season they're
just like oh yeah there's a it's like watching fucking uh what's it called in the final season
uh so ghost is the name of john snow's uh wolf and they parted ways for like a long period of time he like
left the village or whatever yeah I'm just speaking in like basic terms for
him and your mansplaining Game of Thrones he eats the village he gets on
his horse and he stares at he stares at ghosts who's sitting there like all sad
like oh John's leaving me and he just like nods and drives up and drives rides
off on his horse and everyone's like
dude why are you not gonna pet ghost and it was because of budget issues and they said they came
out and said the cgi it was it was not in their budget to make that happen that is the lamest
shit i've ever right that's so stupid so the the most successful i believe from a money standpoint
show of all time they just didn't have the budget i mean they did they did
also leave in starbucks cups and water bottles so so it's somewhat our heads rolling behind the
scenes for no those guys are gonna do star wars that's so lame they're doing star wars and i hope
it sucks who is the the two guys have you watched the writers yeah have you seen all the harry potter
movies or any of them like the early cgi is trash and then it gets so much better as it all goes on
it's kind of weird yeah it's like unfortunate yeah that the creators does this give you hope
for the lion king live action it's yes and no the animal thing's kind of weird wait is that
considered live action yeah even though it's
like all cgi the cgi when you have one cgi animal or two yeah they're calling it live action it
doesn't make sense but when you have a whole a whole squad it might be a little bit much that's
what i don't know jungle books was kind of weird because it was a lot of that but it was also early
and they like the movie was such a departure from the original cartoon that I was just not into it I want like I want nostalgia
when I'm watching these things that's part of the reason I'm watching the new
Lion King it's like a shot by shot remake right of the of the original I
don't know it looks the trailers make it look like it's gonna be very close yeah
cuz like they have very similar shots I would like to see I would like to see a
mix it up a little bit maybe and. And not just follow the exact script.
Because we've seen that movie.
It's just being upgraded on the graphics.
That's it.
But they're remaking the movie.
I get it.
They're not going to keep Mufasa alive.
I think in this one, though, Simba's going to go through a skater stage.
He should.
That'll be tight.
He's going to start hanging out with the bad crowd, smoking cigs.
Simba's one of the darkest main characters in the history of disney movies scar simba like he wants he wants like his dad to die so he can
become king oh right right and then he like finally becomes king he's like dude i'm out
and he just fucking goes and like backpacks in europe for a while with timon and pumbaa
walkabout like sulking because his dad just got murked. He went to some hostels. Yeah.
Turned vegan too.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
Yeah, he did ayahuasca and started saying hakuna matata
and stuff.
It's like, dude,
you're going through
some real shit right now.
It's really hard for a lion
to have a successful life
on a vegan diet.
Yeah.
You're losing a lot of nutrients,
B vitamins, protein.
You need that teen in you.
Yeah.
Dude, last night
I was eating chicken for dinner okay i got
weird about it what do you mean i don't know have you ever gotten weird about eating like chicken
or something like you're worried it was undercooked i don't it you just because you're eating an
animal i don't know it was the first time i've ever eaten like meat and then like i feel like
weird i don't know it freaked me out and like, dude, I hope this doesn't continue.
Because if I have to stop, I'm going to freak out.
Will's going to be a vegetarian in a couple months.
What kind of chicken?
It was just a chicken breast.
Marinated in garlic and pesto.
It was totally normal.
I eat this all the time.
But last night, I was just eating it.
And I was like, man, this is weird.
That chicken just hit different last night.
Yeah, and it freaked me out.
I'm really scared I'm going to have to become a vegan at some point.
Yeah, well.
That would suck. Dude, don't that would people would unsubscribe i know you already called me out for not smoking meat on twitter this weekend what you asked me if
i smoked me did you really think that i mean the guys i thought it looked like it looked good but
it wasn't really good it wasn't i'm not giving the guy four wood pellets out of five no three
and a half dude that's, that's a 70%.
I feel like he deserved better than that.
It was passable.
It was fine.
He just left it on a little too long.
Also, how did this become a thing?
You don't post your photos of your meat very often.
We need to be seeing that.
I wish you posted more photos of your meat.
You want me to?
Dude, will you post more photos of your meat?
Yeah.
If that's what the people want.
You have any meat pics you can show us right now?
I'll show you some meat pics. Okay. I had a nice halibut last night whoa someone got paid halibut
ain't cheap it really isn't it's not yeah it's sneaky expensive dude it's uh i'm gonna just put
my wife on blast she doesn't like a lot of fish halibibut's one of them. Exposer! So it's like...
Every now and then.
My mom, growing up, she didn't like salmon.
So I never ate salmon.
And now I'm a salmon...
I'm essentially king salmon now.
She's eating it all the time.
I'm getting it off all the time.
You know what?
The one diet I would fool around with
is maybe pescatarian.
I think I could do it.
I feel like that would be for...
I would feel really good doing that. Like my body would respond well. I think I could do it. I feel like that would be for, I would feel really good doing that.
Like my body would respond well.
I think I could do it.
I eat a lot of fish anyway and I think that I could do replacements pretty easily for
like a month.
I wouldn't want to do it forever, but I could do it for a month and I don't think it would
be that hard.
As long as you can eat like cheese and shit too, like you can make anything taste good.
I could give up grilled chicken and not skip a beat.
Yeah.
It's lame as shit. It's lame, but it's so easy
to do when you're feeling lazy as hell.
Packed with protein, but it just
does nothing for me.
Dude, I might go pesca on these hoes.
You're not doing that. Dude, should the squad just start eating fish
constantly? Have you ever eaten fish?
Of course I've eaten fish.
Do you know how to prepare fish?
I've never cooked fish. Actually, I've fried shrimp. I've eaten fish you don't look like you've ever eaten fish do you know how to prepare fish I've never cooked fish actually I've fried shrimp
I've never
I've never cooked
like fish
I've never cooked fish
that counts I guess
yeah
it's easy
toss it
toss it in the oven real quick
it doesn't matter
I mean that's another
mail in thing
I made a
I did some
fresh garlic butter
threw a little
proprietary blend
in there too
and just let it let it sit for about an hour then I threw it on the Traeger at about 225 are you going to a little proprietary blend in there too and just let it sit for about an hour
then I threw it on the Traeger at about 225.
Are you going to put that proprietary blend on Patreon?
People were asking.
Somebody hit me up asking about my meats
and my seasonings, my blends.
They'd be very disappointed to learn that
it's not that intricate. A lot of salt and pepper
and garlic powder.
Maybe a little cayenne if I'm
feeling naughty.
Sally's good at seasoning stuff. I'm not cayenne if I'm feeling naughty. Pow.
Shit pops. Sally's good at seasoning stuff.
I'm not very good.
Like, I kind of don't really have that many.
I don't have a good intuition.
So Sally does most of it.
She's pretty good at it.
Are you the dude who you would post a photo and then Black Twitter would roast you?
No.
Because you have, like, no seasoning?
No.
And that is solely because I'm scared of that happening.
Like, I've seen it happen so many times that, like, now I know that that can't happen.
I will oversees him just to not get roasted by Black Twitter.
Do you think how much fun it would be if Black Twitter got a hold of one of your pics and just went in on you, though?
That's true.
It would be hilarious.
Should I start throwing out Black Twitter, like, bait?
Yeah.
Like, just trying to get it?
No.
Should I just try to catch that smoke constantly?
Don't.
Please do.
No, that's going to go badly at some point.
Has Black Twitter ever gotten a hold of one of your tweets, like a viral one?
Yeah.
It's like your week's made.
Yeah.
No, no, no.
Mine was not made.
Oh, were they?
Why?
It was a tweet that I had.
It was my Tarzan tweet about Phil Collins.
And it was like the producers of Tarzan saying like, go the fuck off, King.
Say no more, fam.
Whatever.
Like, go the fuck off, King.
Say no more, fam.
Whatever.
And, like, Black Twitter didn't grab a hold of it, but it definitely, like, people were saying, like, this is the African-American vernacular or whatever.
And I was like, well, that's kind of the joke.
Like, I'm not actually saying that he talks like this.
Like, that's kind of the joke that I was saying. and some people then started defending it being like this is a funny joke and like tarzan does
not have like like it's not a polarizing topic like he went the fuck off and so like actually
maybe i kind of did black twitter go to bat for you here both they did both sides okay it was
great so yeah it was kind of but it was you just created a dialogue it's yeah exactly with your
but it did scare me at first because i was like was like, oh man, what if I just get roasted for
this?
But no, I was getting both sides.
Okay.
That's fair, I guess.
Black Twitter's the best.
Man, if you have a funny tweet go off and they pick up on it, your mentions are just
pure entertainment for the next couple days.
The best was when TFF...
It's better than when Ariana Grande's fan base gets a hold of your tweet.
Oh, yeah, you don't want that smoke.
Goddamn.
Make one TV in the middle joke and it's over.
When TFM would have those girls dancing on the boat, it was the best.
Because it was just like these...
I mean, the girls had no asses and it was just so funny seeing them get roasted.
And then the girl who shotgunned a beer and threw it into the water.
Oh, yeah.
She caught the smoke. All the smoke. get roasted and then the girl who shotgunned a beer and threw it into the water oh yeah she caught
the smoke all the smoke uh didn't something who is the dude who did a shotgun off of a shark too
oh that was a very controversial one yeah there was a shark it looked like it was dead but there's
a shark on the beach somewhere and guy took a full beer can and lifted up his you know top jaws upper jaw and just slammed the beer against his
teeth to crack it and then he shotgunned it and people did not like that and we heard about it
anything that involves apex predators people are very sensitive i felt me too i love apex
that did make me feel a little weird i like like sharks, though. You know, it's Shark Week.
It's always Shark Week.
It's not Shark Week, is it?
No, I would have heard about it on Twitter, man.
People won't shut up about it.
No, Shark Week is usually pretty close to...
Shark Week dead.
I think it's pretty close to Labor Day, usually.
End of summer.
I can't believe it's already Shark Week.
When's Truck Month?
Next month.
Oh, wow.
I think it's July.
Can't wait. You thinking about getting a truck? No, month. Oh, wow. I think it's July. Can't wait.
You thinking about getting a truck?
No, I just like to celebrate.
That's a viral tweet that's been going around lately.
Truck Twitter needs to get you.
No, that's another tweet, though.
People are like, some like, can I speak to your manager-looking woman tweeted, like,
when's straight pride month?
And someone quote-tweeted and said, well, four truck months next week.
That's funny. Roasted. well, four truck months next week. Or next month.
That's funny.
Roasted.
Man, we should have Stripe Month.
Yeah.
Yeah, when's Stripe Month?
Yeah.
Like, shut up.
White History Month.
That's like when dudes are like...
Oh, shut up, dude.
Yeah, people are like,
when's like...
I don't know.
We get it.
Yeah. How come there's no White History Month it. How come there's no White History Month?
Yeah.
Why ain't there no White History Month?
Just not to piss off, like, just the South.
Fucking smart guy over here.
Yeah.
Where's the, hey, smart guy, where's White History Month, smart guy?
Yeah, dude.
People want Masshole Dave
I watched
I did watch
The Departed
The Departed
on Saturday
forgot
you know what
that's a movie
that I have seen
multiple times
but I feel like
my viewing
has been almost
limited to the
last hour of it
yeah
I think the beginning
is my favorite
the beginning
might be the best part
and I know like
the endings
I'm not gonna spoil spoil it, but...
The ending's wild ass, but...
It's a good movie.
There were some movies on Saturday night when I got home from Detroit.
I sat down for dinner and we just tossed on Old School.
Because it was just on TNT or some shit.
Still funny.
Dude.
Holds up insanely well.
We were loving it.
Vince Vaughn is so skinny.
Nope, nope.
Cam did that on last week's episode.
Okay, how did we get here from Aladdin?
I don't really know.
I'm so glad there's not a camera in this room.
I just talked about returning from Detroit, right?
Yeah.
I did that on something I've never done before.
By the way, are your trips out of the way?
They're done.
You're here now.
I'm done.
I'm done.
Huge.
Dude, I'm so glad.
I know that sounds super privileged and whatever.
I'm so glad.
I really...
I like the act of going to different places.
I hate actually traveling.
Traveling sucks.
The act of going to different places.
I like being in a different place.
I don't like getting there.
You wish you could just teleport places.
Correct.
Instead of actually having to fly there.
Yeah.
Drive around and watch it there.
Yeah.
If teleportation was a thing,
I would take advantage of it.
Dude, imagine inventing teleportation.
Yeah.
You would just change the industry.
Hey, can you reveal what your source,
military source,
had to say about the UFO?
I can.
Can you reveal that? I don't mean to hijack your... can reveal your segi yeah i hung out with i've hung out with my military source he told me that
he he thinks it's bizarre that uh the that they would release the videos if they were this clueless
about things of course we're referring to so last wed, we talked about the... Who's they in that sentence?
The government.
The DOD, Department of Defense.
The government?
Okay.
Pentagon.
That five-sided fistagon.
Wow.
Yeah, so there's been some run-ins with unidentified flying objects and naval pilots.
Going back, like, you know, a long time.
It's been happening for years.
And they released some video and nobody knows
what's going on
the shit's hypersonic
hyper booming
hyper loud
stopping on a dime
turn radius is sick
booming loud
sounds like my basketball days
shut up
yeah
you know
I was just crossing people out
that's what I'm saying
I feel like you don't have
any clout in the basketball game
anymore after your injury
okay
I do suck at pop a shot alright keep going Dave we played this dude my arm hurts from pop a shot I feel like you don't have any cloud in the basketball game anymore after your injury. Okay.
I do suck at pop a shot.
All right, keep going, Dave.
Dude, my arm hurts from pop a shot.
Dude, we played.
We popped a lot of shots.
Anyway, Will Source is skeptical.
Yeah.
Or, I don't know if he's skeptical or I guess he's more rational.
Yeah.
He gave me a rational argument.
I was like, you know what? You make a good point.
Which, to that, I say, hey, man, why don't you just fucking chill?
I love it, though.
I love UFOs.
What's your friend's position?
Well, we can't reveal that, dude.
We're not talking about this.
We're not talking about this.
Is that classified?
It's classified.
Okay.
But I was in an unidentified flying object on Saturday night.
I flew Spirit Airlines for the first time.
Oh, wow.
I see what you did there.
Sounds like it was definitely identified. Kind of just identified it so what a wild ride spirit airlines
is like so i i wanted to return i wanted an early return i wanted to come back the night before
instead of the morning off um and so i looked we looked online and the cheap we found a one-way
ticket direct from detroit Austin for $31.
That seems too cheap.
It makes you wonder what's up.
Like, is this plane missing a wing or something?
Am I sitting on a box?
Like, what's going on? Yeah, like, there's something up with that.
Well, sure enough, they nickel and dime me to the point where I ended up spending, like, I think $119 or something like that.
They make you pay for everything.
They make you pay for your checked bag,
your carry-on.
Yes.
They make you pay for your boarding pass to get printed out,
and they make you pay for water on the actual flight.
Now, I don't know if this is a flex,
because I was on Spirit Airlines, and I think it's pretty hard to flex on there.
But I upgraded to one of the two front seats
that are like bigger
like first class feeling seats and i was pretty psyched about it and when i alamo draft house of
spirit airlines exactly exactly and i sat down in my in my spirit airline first class seat
and i was very comfortable and i was happy with it and then the flight attendants sat down in
their seats right in front of you yeah and there's a window
so it's just me knee to knee with the flight attendants just staring them in the eye it was
very uncomfortable it was just like what's going on like this is way more uncomfortable than if i
was like on the other side they don't have to deal with that there's no window to the flight
attendants there's just a wall wait there was a window separating y'all
yeah well how are you sitting knee to knee because like our knees were probably this far apart i'm
holding my hands but there was a wall separating us oh and but i we were still just looking at each
other the entire flight i've never seen a plane set up like that i had to take my book and i just
put it in front of my face so I didn't have to look at them.
It just made me feel uncomfortable.
What were you reading?
I'm finishing a book.
It's called Barbarian Days.
Surfing Life.
Okay.
You're so fucking weird. Dude, I know all about surfing now.
I'm a surf boy.
Yeah, party waves.
Yeah.
Party waves.
Would you recommend
Spirit Airlines to someone?
Dude, I don't know.
Like I can tell you,
I would not.
I feel like I'm complaining about it,
but at the same time,
I got a direct flight for $119 sitting in the front row.
Comfortable as hell the entire time.
Yeah,
but they don't even like pretend like they have wifi.
Like we got on there like,
no.
Also,
somebody stood up when the seatbelt sign was on.
And rather than like get on the intercom and nicely say like, please return to your seats. the seatbelt sign was on and rather than like get on the
intercom and nicely say like please return to your seats the seatbelt sign is on the flight
attendants just like stuck their head out and they're like hey sit down and i was like whoa
like this is hardcore so there's not even a beverage cart at all uh they they go around and
they take your order but like i mean considering you had to pay for i looked at everything like
you have to pay three bucks for a can of coke. My biggest fear is going to the restroom on a plane and coming back and seeing
that the beverage carts in between you and your seat,
and you just got to like casually hang out in between everybody.
And there's really no,
there's no good way to stand.
Cause if you,
you know,
if you're,
you don't want your,
your,
your junk on somebody's face.
You don't want to like lean. Cause you don't want your armpit. And somebody is like's face. You don't want to like lean because you don't want your armpit and somebody's like, it's
just, there's not a good way to do it.
It's like, it's like sliding out of a movie theater and let's like, do I put my piece
in their face or my butt in their face?
Right.
It's like, I don't know which one to do.
Both are not ideal for the person.
Like, what do you want in your face?
Which would you prefer?
Piece or butt?
Me?
No.
You got to ask the people you're stepping over.
Oh, yeah.
It's one of the other FF shoes.
I usually go butt.
One of the other guys.
Because if I fall over in front of them, I'd rather land with my butt on their lap than me just straddling them.
It's like, oh, what's up?
Yeah.
So this got me thinking.
And I got in an argument a couple weekends ago with some friends because they were considering Southwest to be in the same echelon of cheap budget airlines.
That's ignorant.
I won't stand for that.
It's spirit.
And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that people that have never experienced
Southwest, mainly people that have never lived in the South or were raised down here, they
think of Southwest as being the same standard of airline.
Like a budget airline?
Couldn't be farther from the truth.
Yeah.
I don't know why. I think it's because
of the general boarding.
That's what gets people.
People can't figure it out in their brain.
Southwest isn't available on
your flight apps,
websites. Like kayak and shit?
Yeah, like kayak or Priceline.
It's its own separate deal i think people
are kind of throwing keep it in-house yeah they cut out the middleman yeah i respect that but
southwest is great and yeah i guess i would understand if you weren't from an area that
has southwest you don't get it you don't fly it it's great though i didn't get it when i first
moved down here now it's like wait i have to pick my seat that seems stressful that seems weird
because you have you you get your number for boarding when you check in and it's based on how soon you
board in after you're allowed to 24 hours ahead of time the thing is people don't realize if you're
smart you can get a good seat no matter what you just have to set your alarm for the exact time
of your flight and just mash that login button as soon as possible. I swear I've done that before and I'm still like B30 something.
Okay.
But if you're really bad, if you have a really bad number, if you're in the C groups or at
the end of the Bs, you can pay $15 and I know you don't want to, but your ticket's probably
cheaper than it would have been on other airlines.
Just pay 15 bucks and you're A1 through 15 and you can get the best seat in the house.
Yeah. I'm not just saying this because of a dallas thing but i i really like southwest flying southwest out of
love field it's just great the the service on southwest like the people are nice the thing
that is the best part of it hands down two free check bags oh yeah if you're going on a golf trip
oh yeah southwest oh you're saying you're if're going on a golf trip, Southwest is the move.
If you're going on a golf trip
and you're not flying Southwest,
you're essentially paying
for another ticket
for your damn golf bag.
I know people who
just sometimes
if they're flying another airline,
they'll rent clubs at the course.
I'm like,
do you know how miserable that is?
If you're going to go play
a nice course
and you're going to rent sticks,
you got to figure it out out there.
No, man.
That's garbage.
I rented in Mexico because I wasn't planning on playing one time.
And, like, it just was weird.
Like, the first five holes I was just adjusting.
It was terrible.
Just getting used to these sticks, man.
And finally, I want to give a shout-out to Southwest Flight Attendants,
who are just the nicest people on earth.
Oh, yeah.
They also hardly ever charge you for cocktails on the flight.
Yeah, they're really fast and loose with that.
Yeah.
It's interesting.
If you're in the rewards program and stuff,
they'll send you free drink tickets constantly.
Let me give you some financial advice unsolicited.
If you're a kid right out of college or even in college,
you should have the Southwest credit card.
Why? That should be the credit card you should have the Southwest credit card. Why?
That should be the credit card you should have.
Because, dude, building up points and shit with Southwest, that's the way to do it.
That's what I have.
I'm not sure it's the best deal out there, but I'm sure it's fine.
Hey, shut the fuck up.
I'm stacking points.
I get cash back rewards, man.
I feel like cash back is like the worst conversion you can get.
Cash back stinks.
I can spend it on whatever. I feel like you get terrible. I feel like you get is the worst conversion you can get. I can spend it on whatever.
I feel like you get terrible.
I feel like you get absolutely terrible.
Every two years, you get $60.
Yeah.
Cool, man.
Ball out, son.
That's not true.
I get good money back.
That covered the homies milkshake and pancakes yesterday.
All right.
You got anything else you want to bring?
Because I'm going to slap it out.
Dude, I almost ate a bite of the homies pancakes yesterday.
You should have.
I was scared, though.
You know how little kids can get.
Does he do maple syrup?
They just look good as hell.
Kids can get weird
about not sharing their food.
The homie's very generous with his food.
I was waiting for him
to get up and go to the bathroom
or something.
You were going to steal it
instead of just ask him?
Yeah.
He would have given you some, man.
What's his go-to on pancakes?
I asked him if he wanted...
Okay, they offered chocolate chip, which I didn't tell him about because I didn't want him to get that.
Blueberry, banana, or plain.
I love blueberry.
We got plain.
I said, what about blueberry, dog?
He's like, nah.
Do you like blueberry pancakes more than banana pancakes?
I do.
He's a simple man.
I just like the sensation of it kind of melting in my mouth.
See, it's too much for me.
I do like blueberries and blueberry pancakes, but I like banana more.
They're a little more mushy.
Mushy?
Mushy or mushy?
Mushy.
No one says mushy.
You and Sally, man.
You say words weird.
Her pants.
Pants.
I've never noticed that from her.
I haven't either.
I feel like it was one time,
and somebody just harped on it.
Dude, I've been getting hella mail-ins off lately.
Just listening.
Really?
Yeah. Thanks, man. It's kind of like recording this, but not actually workinglla mailings off lately just listening really yeah thanks man it's
kind of like recording this but not actually working it's just me just listening yeah and
plus your fiance's on there yeah i i've actually i think i've listened to more episodes without her
on than i would have with her on like i know her i can pretty much call what she's gonna say um
that's it that's all i had on Southwest slash Spirit. I'm sorry.
Thanks for going to bed for Southwest, man.
They deserve it. Yeah, you say I give shit to living down south and stuff.
You do.
No, I'm going to...
Good.
I'm going to stand Southwest Airlines.
I'm going to mute Spirit.
You did good enough, but I'm going to mute you.
Where's their hub?
What are you going to kill, American Airlines?
What's their hub?
Oh, American Airlines is my cancel.
Cancel. Dude, fuck American. Oh, American Airlines is my cancel. Cancel.
Dude, fuck American.
Oh, American. No one has more delays than American.
So I'll pull back the curtain.
That was like the first credit card I got was the American Airlines one.
And the bonus shit is just trash.
American stinks.
American stinks.
Every time I fly, I have to fly to Michigan a lot, because Northern Michigan.
Every single time I get to the airport and they're like,
oh, by the way,
your plane's going to be two hours late.
I'm like, oh, cool, cool, cool.
Thanks for letting me know.
Southwest at least lets you know
like really in advance
so you don't have to go to the airport on time.
They tech to you updates.
Dude, fucking no.
American is just trash.
They also prioritize their A-list members
way too much
when you're waiting in line to check a bag.
And like it takes for,
if you're there and there's like two couples in front of you and then you have the a-list line
or whatever it's called it takes like an hour in order to get up there because like a-list people
are just cutting you constantly they don't have a dedicated agent they just have oh i just hate
them i hate american anyway i love though i love scentbird everyone knows that of course i actually
use scentbird this weekend.
People were like,
damn, well, you smell good.
I was like, yeah,
it's Aqua de Parma, Bergamot.
That's huge.
I smelled so limey.
That's a good scent.
It was fucking lit.
Whatever scent you may be wearing,
you have good taste,
you know what you like,
but great taste is also expensive
and you end up with a shelf full
of half-used bottles.
You don't get that with Scentbird.
With Scentbird, you get great taste without breaking the bank whether it's versace gucci
dolce gabbana scentbird.com keeps us smelling good month after month what do you guys have
i'm tall for baby rag and bone yeah so you got that rag and bone too oh yeah i'm still hitting
that versace one yeah these things last forever uh i mean i have some italian ones
that i don't know how to say i've got a rag and bone one i've got a i've got a bunch i love them
i do i have time for it as well dave and i might be like eskimo brothers of scentbird cologne yeah
scent boys yeah uh what separate is is it's a luxury fragrance subscription service allows you
to mix up your cologne or perfume routine.
They have over 450 designer brands.
You can try the brands you want.
Like we said, Gucci, Tom Ford, Kenneth Cole, Burberry, Prada.
They even have Tommy Bahama up on there for the real chill dudes.
But what you get is a 30-day supply.
You get 120 sprays.
You can make the case that that could last way longer than 30 days.
You could easily make that case.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're getting a deal.
That's four sprays a day if my math checks out.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was four.
That was four.
I just counted it.
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Dave,
these next two segments are just all Dave.
You guys have any interest
in adopting a dog?
A nuclear dog?
I need to know more.
I don't know if you've gotten there yet
in the HBO original
miniseries chernobyl
i haven't you're close i know what's coming episode four four indeed i'm going to get you
i'm going to spoil so if you don't want to hear you have three two so there's a pretty tough scene
and it makes no it's not shocking that after they evacuated the areas around Chernobyl of humans,
they had to go in and exterminate the dogs.
They were radioactive.
Radioactive!
Extermination!
Yeah, this isn't a laughing matter.
No breathing!
They had to go in, and it was a pretty tough scene.
Okay?
It's tough, I'll be honest.
Tough scene. Tough? It's tough, I'll be honest. Tough scene.
Tough scene, man.
But, so I was doing some reading.
A nice listener sent me an article, and thank you for that, unidentified listener on Twitter.
But I went and dig in a little bit more, and I found something from The Guardian from a couple years ago.
Please share with the class, David.
It's, meet the dogs of Chernobyl, the abandoned pets that form their own canine community.
Okay, now do it, but in Stefan voice.
Meet the Dogs of Chernobyl,
the abandoned pets that form their own canine community.
So they're just out here living.
There's a dog community, just strays, hundreds of dogs.
So these are descendants.
Descendants, yeah.
They're not still living. So nuclear, it's passed through to your kids. And their fur, radioactive fur. community just strays hundreds of dogs so these are just are these descendants yeah yeah they're
not still living so nuclear that gets passed through to your kids and their fur radioactive
fur uh did i say nuclear did you say rw i hope not wow i was about to ask if anyone in here was
a nuclear nuclear person i don't know much about nuclear stuff no no no but i meant like he's
talking about nuclear saying it nuclear versus nuclear oh yeah no i say it the proper way yeah thank god twitter wasn't around during uh early w
presidency because do you remember how much he got roasted for saying nuclear yeah twitter
would have had a field day yeah it's like dude i think with him saying that that big of a deal
it's like me saying certain things i don't really know that i'm saying it wrong but dylan looks at me like i'm like foreign yeah yeah anyway um so yeah they're out there and
are these purebreds no it doesn't look like it will um but you have one there's approximately
300 stray dogs in the 2600 kilometer zone oh this is tight they live among the moose and the
lynx the hares and the wolves that have also found a home here to be clear you're talking about present day they're still out here doing their thing
they're descendants of yes it's your noble region dogs yeah okay are they radioactive too
yeah that was the whole point they're radioactive dogs okay so why why is nobody exterminating them
uh well that's a great question well like that the whole area is
quarantined off so it doesn't really matter they can't they can't get out and like go infect like
the populace but even if they did it's not going to do that anyway because you can actually go
adopt these dogs so they're safe what are the expectations of adopting the dogs i don't know
what's going to happen are they going to die within five years these things have a shortened
life expense expectancy okay so six years is kind of the number but i don't know. What's going to happen? Are they going to die within five years? These things have a shortened life expectancy.
Okay.
So six years is kind of the number,
but I don't know if it's six years
because of the predators that live amongst them
or this is fucking like...
The winter is horrible there.
I don't want to adopt a radioactive dog
and then just have his quality of life suck the entire time.
What do they eat?
You know?
Dogs?
Dog food?
It's not Purina.
I know that.
Okay, so there's there's um there's a non-profit from the u.s called the clean futures fund they help communities affected by industrial accidents
and they've got clinics in the area they've sent some up they've even got one in the chernobyl
plant which is crazy um but that's what it says uh they kind of help out the dogs they vaccinate them and shit
they're basically
trying to sterilize them
so they don't breed
so they just kind of
they phase their way out
but
there's some good photos
there's some good pups here man
it's kind of sad
but I like that they have
like a little community
going on
how much land do they have
how much of an area
around the power plant is
right
as I mentioned 2600 kilometers that's plant is... Right. As I mentioned, 2,600 kilometers.
That's how big the zone is.
As I mentioned.
As I mentioned.
Per my last email.
Yeah, you just got fucking wrecked.
Well, Dylan's not listening.
I'm not much of a listener.
I actually missed that part, too.
Kilometers, okay.
I don't know what that translates to.
Could be at least a million miles.
My brain doesn't calculate distance well,
so putting it in kilometers
and making it that big of a number
kind of just like... I think it's a pretty big area. Oh, it's got to be. least a million miles. My brain doesn't calculate distance well, so putting it in kilometers and making it that big of a number kind of just like...
I think it's a pretty big area that's...
Oh, it's got to be.
That's blocked off.
You know what?
I'm going to run the numbers.
Dave's going to run it real quick.
Yeah, that's a lot of area, man.
You guys ready?
You want to take a guess?
Are these dogs like mutated or anything?
Take a guess how many miles 2,600 kilometers is.
Oh, don't do this to me.
Like 1,000.
1,615.
Okay. Okay. Square. 1,615. Okay.
Okay.
That's square miles.
Right?
I don't know if they're square.
We're talking about area here, Dave.
It just says it's a zone,
so I'm imagining it like a big circle.
So, yeah.
Yeah, so square miles.
I don't know.
You can't do that linearly.
I mean, it could be a rectangle, though. It's hip to be square, though. Do you know what You can't do that linearly. It could be a rectangle though.
It's hip to be square though.
Do you know what the circumference of the earth is, David?
The circumference?
Circumference.
Do you?
No.
You mean the in quotes circumference
because the sphere world.
Okay, if it were a sphere?
What would it be?
It's 3.14, right 3.16 what are you doing pie yeah yeah 3.1 no that's not how that works eddie bravo told me on joe rogan that the earth is flat
he told how big is this fucking world i want you to take a guess first i don't know i think it's
like it's crazy because it's usually a lot smaller than people guess like my first guess like i don't know like 10 million miles okay
the circumference of the circumference of the world yes all the way around equator sir what
around the equator i already did that oh you did i don't listen now uh uh okay let me guess i'm
gonna say um i have my guess i'm gonna going to say 6,500 miles.
6,500?
Yeah.
It's a lot smaller
than you think.
People forget that.
No, that's a bad call.
Yeah.
I'm going
I'm going
I'm going 60,000 miles.
So 10x what he guessed
basically.
Yeah.
24,922.
Damn, I went too hard. Yeah. How could they even know that yeah it's weird that you
get such a small number dave well you said it was sneaky small yeah yeah but i think the united
states is like 4 000 are you sure it's not 6 500 that sounds way more reasonable i mean miles are
long as fuck i gave you an exact number you ever ran a mile it takes forever yeah i have dude
i'm not very fast i'm not a good long distance guy oh this is sweet the dogs that live near the
zone's checkpoints have little huts made for them by the guards and some are wise enough to
congregate near the local cafe having learned that human presence equals food i'll be honest
that's how some of them eat my brain can't comprehend what's going on at like present day Chernobyl. It's fucking weird.
It's like, it's so weird.
It's so weird that like this was something that like I knew very little about.
Well, like unfortunately most of the world didn't.
Is there a faction of people on Twitter who are like Chernobyl hardos?
I've tweeted about Chernobyl like a couple times and like people just like go at you.
They clap back about what?
I don't know.
Are there like...
Wait, why?
Well, Ross clapped back at me last night because he said it airs on Monday nights and not Sunday
nights.
And I was like, yeah, I know.
I'm watching it on Sunday.
I'm catching up, dude.
Like, chill out.
But there's other people who are talking about Chernobyl as if because they knew about it
before, they're officially more important than the people who are just kind of learning
mostly about it now.
I'm sure they're experts in nuclear fission and meltdowns and stuff.
They probably, actually, you know what?
They were probably called in by Gorbachev himself to, like, help, like, figure out,
hey, how do we stop this thing, man?
Who is it?
Add somebody.
I can.
I truly can.
Yeah, we're just talking about the dope-ass dogs.
So, hey, Twitter hardos.
If you're out there and you're looking to adopt a dog
and you don't get a Chernobyl dog,
shame on you.
Get a radioactive dog.
Shame on you.
What are you even doing?
Adopt radioactive.
Don't shop.
Maybe it's really hard to adopt them.
I don't know.
I don't know.
It seems like it'd be annoying to get, like,
your dog over from there.
This is sad.
So one of them's name is Tarzan.
He's a stray who lives in the exclusion zone.
His mom, M-U-M, his mom.
His mom.
Mom.
Was killed by a wolf. So the guides look out for him.
Chuck a few sticks.
Play a few games.
He's only a baby, really.
Dude, this dog's cute as
fuck look at this guy oh come on look at this i want that dog dave is it radioactive do you think
they know they're radioactive they probably don't it's hard for them to are they looking around are
they looking around like dude why us i just feel different man have you ever wondered if like you
have like a disease that you've just had for your entire life
that you've dealt with and no one else has dealt with?
You ever wondered that?
What if you just had mono your entire life?
Mono?
And you're sluggish, and then all of a sudden the doctor's like,
dude, you've had mono for, Dylan, like 46 years.
Let's cure this.
Like, damn.
Wouldn't shock me if Dylan had mono.
Explain yourself.
Why is that, Dave?
Just how it's transmitted.
Oh, you think I'm out here making out with a bunch of people?
That's what we're picking at.
Maybe.
No, I'm just, as a kid, I always wondered that.
I was like, what if I just have some disease that I don't know about,
and I'm just, like, sluggish?
And, like, all of a sudden I get cured, and I'm like, it's superhuman.
How tight would that be? I don't think that's happening. i think it's happening according to the spca international dogs of chernobyl are safe for adoption
i'd say that too if i was trying to unload a nuclear dog but i have to go to the soviet
union or the formal the formally you must come i have to go to Russia to get it. You must come here, Dylan, yes.
You must bring your
dog.
Bring your shitty
gut biome over here.
We'll give you
antibiotics and
probiotics and a
shitty dog.
What was that one,
the dog's name that
you showed us?
Tarzan.
He's available?
This column was
written two years ago,
so we don't know.
I'll be honest,
Tarzan's probably got...
Tarzan gal.
I mean, to a home.
You should inquire about Tarzan.
I'm going to tell the homie about Tarzan.
I'm going to be like, hey, your dad's looking at getting a dog named Tarzan.
How do you feel about that?
He might be radioactive.
Tarzan was killed by Wolf.
Just to be clear...
He put up a great fight.
When you get Tarzan, he ain't hanging out with Rosie.
Get your radioactive dog away from my dog.
I don't need your radioactive dog getting its butt sniffed by Rosie.
And then all of a sudden, Rosie's glowing when I'm sleeping.
Like a firefly?
Yeah.
Isn't that how it works?
Yeah.
What if it's just her butt that's glowing?
It's just her nose.
Because her nose was in Tarzan's butt.
Oh, her nose, yeah nose was in tarsal oh her nose yeah that would
be weird it's like a radioactive nose situation yeah good for the sinus cavity man that that
radiation really fucked those people up in that show just keep watching you'll see it's fucking
it's gnarly i mean it doesn't take very long to understand that in the show like people are
literally like melting yeah they just keep melting man in the show. Like people are literally like melting. Yeah. They just keep melting.
Man.
When the helicopters start going in,
I'm like,
dude,
what?
Don't go in there.
Why is he going right over the smoke?
Yeah.
You don't,
you literally don't want that smoke.
The dude from the dude from a King speech or whatever. Like,
he's just like,
dude,
you guys don't get it.
Yeah.
Like I'm trying to tell you.
Then that woman comes in and she's just like,
they really don't get it
yeah they they really uh they dick the dog on this one i don't know what i'd do in that
situation like if that we had a modern day like nuclear breakout like whatever like nuclear
breakout whatever that sounds tight like i feel like i would my brain wouldn't be able to take
it seriously i'd be like no this is like a movie i feel like mine would i know but like i feel like my brain wouldn't be able to take it seriously. I'd be like, no, this is like a movie.
I feel like mine would.
I know, but I feel like it would take me a little convincing to get over the hump.
I understand why people don't get it. You're skeptical.
You're like, are we sure?
Yeah.
What's the half-life?
Where's the closest nuclear power plant to us?
Maybe Stephenville?
Are we worried?
I have no idea.
I'm going to look that up.
I think there's one in Stephenville,
home of Tarleton State.
It's shit like that.
Hopefully they have better safety regulations
in place there.
It's shit like this that makes me think
I'm just going to move to somewhere
like really far away
and just like turn off.
Yeah, I don't...
If something like that goes down,
you just got to assume the government
like has it under control.
You're not going to let the radiation
get to me, right?
But it happens.
You know what happens when you assume, Dylan?
You make an ass out of you.
Oh, dude.
Okay, yeah.
Glen Rose.
Comanche Peak.
Nuclear power plant.
Comanche Peak.
That's a tight name.
Is that within 1,600 miles?
Square foot is it?
Glen Rose is south of Fort Worth.
That's where the dinosaur park is.
Oh, we're screwed.
Did you ever go to that as a kid?
Dinosaur park?
Do they have actual dinosaurs?
You can dig up dinosaur fossils and shit.
Like Randy Travis?
Yeah.
Just like Randy Travis.
Actually, there's quite a few nuclear ones.
And there might be one Decker Creek Power Station.
They're so stupid.
Dude, that sounds tight. I see.
I don't like this.
Let's go dig up bones and check out the nuclear power plant.
Glen Rose is tight.
Really?
There's a lot of dope stuff there.
I don't know what else.
I think there's a Babe's Chicken up in that area.
Maybe that's Granberry.
Close enough.
Granberry's a cool area.
You know Granberry?
Yeah, I've been there.
I did it a couple nights there.
I like their song, Dreams.
That is the Cranberries.
Oh.
That's your favorite Cranberries song, Dreams. That is the Cranberries. Oh. That's your favorite Cranberries song, Dreams?
Sing it.
I don't recall that one.
You know it.
It's like every 90s rom-com.
Still have nothing.
Okay. That's it. I don't know how close that was it was close that's the whole
song it was good it was good no cranberries have a lot of hits zombie rest in peace i'm more of a
zombie guy no zombie slaps but i like dreams more those guitars are just fucking thrashing you seem
like a linger guy linger is also a rom-com song. Dreams is better than Linger. I agree. Linger just makes me feel weird.
Yeah.
Like I'm laying in my loft apartment, like depressed and shit.
Yeah.
Whereas Dreams is like your Meg Ryan skipping down the sidewalk.
Yeah, and I eat, like, I microdose mushrooms.
Yeah.
Do you think they were doing that and you've got mail?
No.
Very unlikely.
I don't know.
Fox Books seems like a company that could have been run off, like, microdosing dudes. Owned by Fox Racing. Is mail? No. Very unlikely. I don't know. Fox Books seems like a company
that could have been run off
like microdosing dudes.
Owned by Fox Racing.
Is it?
Yeah.
Did you see that there was...
Did you watch any of the Grand Prix race
yesterday in Detroit?
It was on NBCSN, I think.
No.
No, I was watching...
The dude that got last...
I think he finished,
but I think he got last place.
His last name was Chilton.
It's tight.
I was going to message it to you, but my phone
was charging. I think he was named after the cocktail.
Is anybody
trademarked that? Is anybody making Chilton's? I don't know.
Chilton's are an underrated drink that we don't
get enough. Here's what it says. The Chilton.
A salt-rimmed cocktail glass with ice
pour in vodka, add lemon juice,
fill with soda.
Dude, you know what we
haven't had in a while is the DKR,
the Daryl K. Royal.
We were talking about that yesterday.
That's a good damn drink.
Don't sleep on the Chilton, people.
Actually, if you're ever drinking Chiltons
and you're at Chimmy's in Fort Worth and you're with me,
just don't let me have any.
Yeah, we actually talked about this recently.
We drank about nine of them.
They were good, though.
They were damn good.
I might make some Chiltons this weekend. Y'all were talking about this yesterday? Yeah. About me getting kicked out of that bar. They were good, though. They were damn good. I might make some Chilton's this weekend.
Y'all were talking about this yesterday?
Yeah.
About me getting kicked out of that bar?
No, no, no.
We were talking about...
We were talking about...
What were we talking about?
My brain just shorted out.
If you want to donate to a good cause,
check out the Clean Futures Fund.
They're going to help out those dogs in Chernobyl.
They're helping out all over the world, but if you want to help these pups, which, I mean, like, why wouldn't you?
Should we release Randy and Rosie shirts and donate all the proceeds to the Chernobyl dogs?
Man, I don't hate that.
That's very business-forward thinking of you.
Thank you.
Very philanthropic of you.
It's important.
We're a corporation now.
We have to be good corporate citizens.
We do.
philanthropic of you it's important you know is we're corporation now we have to be good corporate citizens we do i just thought of this but a lot of people were expecting you
to to expose me today about the twitter debacle of last week oh my god you're exposing yourself
no i'm not i'm just well that's actually what you just did i think i i think i i owe it to
the people i forgot about that dude bring it up let's do this wow Wow. Yeah, so. I totally forgot about this.
I have this bit I do on Twitter where I just guess people's height just from a photograph.
It started from you talking about it on here.
It's interesting because I've never gotten a height wrong, even by half an inch.
I'm perfect every time.
I don't know.
That girl that you said was 4'10", she had some issues.
Do you think she just got measured wrong?
No, trust me.
She's 4'10".
Okay.
10 she had some issues no do you think she just got measured wrong no trust me she's 410 okay and um and so someone one of my followers tagged me in a picture of a girl asking for the exactly
that for someone to guess her height and so i did um and it turns out she's pretty young
and uh i got how young it's like she's graduating high school can you explain
who actually exposed you i graduated high school at 17.
So.
I was 18 when I graduated.
I was 17, so she could be either.
Yeah, she's either 17 or 18.
I was 18.
I wasn't hitting on the girl.
I was guessing her height.
Would you have guessed it had it been like a.
Not her height.
A dude.
A young dude.
I've guessed plenty of dudes on there, of course.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about you.
Because it was a scandalous picture.
That's what you're getting at.
She's scantily clad.
Scantily clad.
She's just in a bare-bones house.
There's nothing in that house.
Let me see.
The house is completely empty.
It's just an empty room and ass.
That's what's in the picture.
Yeah.
You know?
What were you going to do David
nothing
were you about to do a talking heads bit
shouts to
what's my beautiful house
no
shouts to the real cat pat
for exposing me
how much digging did she do
to figure it out
who you can find on circling back pod
I think she just went to the girl's Instagram
because she had it linked in her Twitter
and you might find yourself
this isn't my
well you guys had fun with that both of you got got pictures off in my And you might find yourself. This isn't my...
Well, you guys had fun with that.
Both of you got pictures off in my replies.
Thank you for that.
Well, I mean, she was showing...
Okay, the reason that real Cat Pat found her
was because she was posing with her high school graduation ring.
Yeah.
That's tight.
And then you just said,
why does this happen to me?
And truly, why does this happen to you? I truly, like, why does this happen to you?
I don't know.
And then, yeah, Dave came through.
You can't have fun with this one, though.
Dave came through.
He dropped a Zeej pick on me.
She had to hit him with a Jostens ring.
Did you get her height right?
She said she was 5'3".
Trust me, she's 5'2".
Trust me.
I did get a pick off, though.
Yeah, I did the homie just sitting on the computer.
It was great, because, like, Will, I guess you were traveling. You were, like, an hour late. I was really late. You just came in out off though. Yeah, I did the homie just sitting on the computer. It was great because like Will, I guess you were traveling.
You were like an hour late.
I was really late.
You just came in out of nowhere.
Yeah.
Well, so like I've had this issue lately because I have been traveling and I've also been trying
to spend less time on my phone.
So I will join Twitter conversations way too late these days.
I responded to a tweet from you that was like 23 hours old and I didn't realize it.
It was the meat tweet when you graded the guy's meat.
Oh yeah, we were playing golf and I was like, what? It totally was. I thought it was like 23 hours old, and I didn't realize it. It was the meat tweet when you graded the guy's meat. Oh, yeah, we were playing golf, and I was like, what?
It totally was.
I thought it was like current.
I was like, oh, Dave just tweeted this.
God.
Did you DM her and apologize?
Oh, yeah, he definitely did.
He showed me the convo.
Stop.
That did not happen.
No, I didn't DM her.
Why?
Did she like your tweet?
She liked it, yeah. Oh, I didn't DM her. Why? Did she like your tweet? She liked it, yeah.
Oh, okay. She liked it.
Who cares?
I'm just guessing.
Did you like it?
Did you like it?
Yeah.
You know what? I didn't look.
I didn't check out.
It sounds like you did look.
You guessed her height.
What's her plan?
Where's she going to college?
I don't know, Dave.
I don't know the girl.
Does she want the circling back scholarship?
That's another thing. let's hit her with a
we've talked about doing that
we need to be more
philanthropic
I think we do need to do
definitely hit her with a
scholarship
Patreon doesn't make it easy
or at all possible
to
for us to like
sponsor people
yeah
we could like
you could join
Patreon
we could Venmo you for
that amount or something
but it's just not easy
I wish there was a way
we could do Patreon you for that amount or something, but it's just not easy. I wish there was a way we could do Patreon...
Patreon?
Patreon-certified scholars.
Why are you saying that like me?
I don't know.
Yeah, it would be nice if we could do that.
I would love to do that.
There's a number of people who I'd be willing to sponsor.
Absolutely.
Like, I would love to sponsor, like,
if the homie wants a Patreon.
I mean...
Yeah.
So, anything else? do you want to hit this
no
what
do you want her to come on the pod
I certainly don't
no
I'm still
I still have a perfect record
of guessing heights
oh Dylan
if I were you
I wouldn't go to Chernobyl
to get one of these dogs
why
it just came out
that Russian authorities
have demanded
that popular dating app
Tinder make available
all private user data
ouch
you would get exposed over there.
Hardcore.
Including messages sent between users.
Oh.
Yeah, you can't...
Yikes.
Sorry, Tarzan.
Of course you're implying that I'm on Tinder.
I'll be swiping right.
Oh, yeah.
Dylan, yes.
We must see your profile, sir.
Please hand over your phone.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
You have trashed by on, bro. I, man, you have trash by own, bro.
I feel like Vlad himself is talking to me right now.
It kind of feels like it.
Man, you are really cleaning up on Tinder, Dylan.
Fucking Roger Dorm over here.
Yeah.
I can't do a rush.
Somebody call him Roger Dormitory.
No, they didn't.
Sorry, dude.
Sorry, Dylan.
Let's each say something nice about Dylan.
I'm due for that.
Thank you.
Go ahead.
You are totally crushing it on the dating app stuff, man.
No, that's not a real...
You're killing it.
That's not it.
I mean, absolutely slaying.
I already hate that.
We can move on.
You must come over here, man.
I'm trying to think of something nice to say.
These girls, man.
You're just drawing a blank.
I'm excited.
Actually, this might be...
Sally's...
So, as you know from the Mailman podcast, Sally's out of town.
So, like, this...
I'm just chilling.
All weekend and fun, yes.
So, like, I think this might be a week of, like, Will and Dylan.
Like, we're going to be going to, like, Barton Springs together.
We're going to be going to the movies together.
I could see us going to Pine House sometime.
Dude, man.
We all, man.
Yeah.
None of this will happen.
I've heard this before.
Yeah, it's true.
It's true.
No, we're definitely going to the movies.
Tomorrow.
Dylan, man, you've got to check out Kermia, man.
We annexed it to girls that are something else.
Come over.
You must check it out.
You'll clean up.
I fucking hate you so much.
I want Frat Dave to go over and get Tarzan.
Tarzan's a great dog name.
It is good. It is good.
It's good. Everyone loves it.
Should we get out of here? Nope.
I gotta do a combat sportsman. Oh yeah.
How about that upset in boxing?
So explain what happened because I didn't realize that he was a fill-in.
Yeah, so the guy who was originally supposed to
fight Anthony Joshua, heavyweight champ.
There's a big three in heavyweight boxing.
Deontay Wilder, who you may not know the name, but you know him.
He's the, to this day, guy.
Knockout king.
Tyson Fury.
He's the gypsy king.
That's his name, not mine.
Big, tall, white motherfucker.
I guess he's technically English.
I don't know, but the gypsy thing, it's weird.
How do you identify?
Not important.
It's hard to say.
And then Anthony Joshua, who is just built like a fucking god.
Like chiseled.
Adonis.
Adonis.
That's the word.
Dylan's out of the segment.
He's got his phone texting.
So yeah, the guy who's supposed to fight Joshua, he got popped for PED.
So this dude took the fight on like six weeks notice.
And by this dude, I mean your heavyweight champ, Andy
Ruiz. So he's the heavyweight champion
of the world. Yeah, it's weird
because it's like, you know, boxing there's two different belts
there's multiple belts. Yeah.
But he can claim the heavyweight championship.
He is the heavyweight champion. So all you gotta do to
obtain said belt is just beat the guy
who holds it. To be the man
you gotta beat the man. Right. King of the hill.
King of the hill. Let's just say he was a very, gotta beat the man. Right. King of the hill. King of the hill.
Let's just say
he was a very,
very heavy underdog.
Right.
This wasn't supposed
to happen
because the fight
that was supposed
to happen is
Joshua Wilder.
People have been saying
that Wilder,
or that Joshua's been
ducking Wilder for a while.
His promoters don't want
him to fight him
because if you fight Wilder,
you're probably gonna get
knocked the fuck out
and it's gonna fuck your career up,
especially if you're undefeated like this guy, Joshua.
Well, that fight is not going to happen anytime soon
because this is the biggest upset in boxing since Haseen Rahman
and Lennox Lewis maybe.
If you want to go bigger, you could go Buster Douglas, Mike Tyson.
This is crazy, man.
I was in an Uber when this happened.
I was following Twitter, and I saw that Joshua had been knocked down.
So I was like, oh, I've got to stream this.
So I go, and I find my little Periscope, and I'm watching this in an Uber.
And I was going nuts.
I couldn't believe it.
Twitter got a hold of it so fast.
Twitter was quick, man.
They went so hard with
it that i it was like shocking i couldn't believe how many people even like knew that this was going
on what happened how did he he just how did he get beat down he looked joshua looked like he
didn't have cardio he looked gassed he looked tired it looked like i mean he essentially quit
and imagine this dude this dude gassing up before that guy gases out the guy who's yeah
the tweet going around about like what they were both doing four years ago yeah that tweet was
hilarious anthony joshua's at the olympics and ruiz is pooping he's taking he's taking a selfie
on instagram for 136 likes that just says,
just got done taking a shit.
I saw that. Yeah, that was great. It's like, dude,
what are you guys doing?
It's absurd. So I guess the general
thought here is that Joshua
has overlooked this guy.
Didn't train for him, was thinking about the Wilder
fight potentially with Tyson Fury. He'll never admit that, but
that's what he did. I have to say
as much shit as I've
talked about Joshua, because I'm not a huge fan of his, just that's what he did. I have to say, as much shit as I've talked about Joshua,
because I'm not a huge fan of his,
just because I think he's ducking Wilder,
he was really classy in defeat.
He was?
Yeah, took photos, hats off to him.
It was his night.
He wasn't a bitch about it.
Good.
He's a gentleman, dude.
He's an Englishman.
Nice guy.
So he says Premier. Yeah yeah how's it go premier
yeah probably uh yeah this was nuts man and twitter had fun with it you saw the iconic photo
of ali over sunny liston everyone was tweeting that yeah a lot of people a lot of people stole
that tweet uh then there was the homer simpson one There's an old Simpsons where Homer's knocking some dude out of a ring.
I can't remember.
It was just absurd.
It's iconic, man.
I don't know who this dude's going to fight next, but shout out to him.
He's the first Mexican-American to be the heavyweight champ.
It's tight.
It's crazy.
It's tight.
And he's so out of shape, it's not even funny.
I mean, it is pretty funny, actually, but it's absurd.
How long did he know he was going to be in this fight?
Dude, I think he had like six weeks.
Yeah, that's it.
Could you be the heavyweight champion of the world in six weeks, Dylan?
Certainly not, no.
I don't know.
To be fair, this dude had like one defeat, Ruiz.
So, I mean, it wasn't like he was just a dude off the street.
Well, yeah, they didn't just choose him.
He's a puncher.
Like, you go in, you know, it's boxing.
Everybody's got a chance.
If you get clipped, it's over.
But normally guys like this don't.
The size disparity, if you look at the weigh-ins,
like Joshua just towers over him.
Towers over him.
He's longer.
He's lean. He's lean.
That's what I said to gas out
before the fat dude gassed out.
That's just so weird to me.
Dude, he felt the power
and he just...
It was demoralizing
and then Ruiz just got inspired
and realized he could probably do this.
The combinations that he was doing
to knock him down,
like hitting him with,
are so funny, man.
It's like... It's not athletic looking at all.
Right.
All you got to do is land it.
You just got to land one.
It's crazy, man.
He looked so happy.
The smile on his face was like, it was incredible.
I mean, he probably wasn't a millionaire before.
And now I think he took six or seven million dollars home.
Fuck.
Yeah. That's a good payday. Good. Yeah. That's a good payday.
Good for him. It's a great payday.
So Joshua,
what does this do for his career?
It's a major setback. That's the shitty thing about boxing.
It's like, you compare it to
MMA. You lose a
fight, you come back.
Your career's not written off for Joshua though.
It's a bad look.
What's the next fight for him? Yeah, he's washed, he's done, which in reality it's like no, he's probably going off for Joshua, though. It's a bad look. What's the next fight for him?
Yeah, he's washed.
He's done.
Which, in reality, it's like, no, he's probably going to come back even better.
I don't know what the next fight for him is.
Wilder's got a fight coming up, a rematch with another guy he beat previously,
but I don't know if it's controversial or not.
I don't know who he fights from here.
It's kind of crazy, but at least people are paying attention to boxing.
He should fight Micah.
I feel like he would.
Ooh, that's actually not a bad fight.
Micah's only like 5'7", though.
Yeah.
Joshua's significantly larger.
Yeah, fighting Micah would be tight, though.
Micah's kind of got short arms, too.
He got first place in that one.
I mean, not first.
He got second place.
He got second place. Second place out of two not not first he got second you got second play
second place out of two he got a medal though that's all that matters
uh also in the combat sports minute we had uh anthony smith shout out corpus christie texas
homo randy uh defeating and subsequently ending the career of alexander gustafson
homo retired after the fight does randy rider die for cor Corpus? Loves Corpus. Big Corpus guy.
Is he familiar with the TGI Fridays there that we opened?
Yeah, I told him that story.
He's like, when are you going to take me down there?
And I'm like, I don't know if it's still there.
He probably wants potato skins.
I don't know if it's there anymore.
It's got to be there.
You think?
I don't know.
It's a pretty nice one.
Chip's not there.
Cody, whatever his name was.
Our buddy, the CEO.
I was going through old photos on the plane the other day.
Not only did I find a bunch of photos of Dylan without a beard looking like a high schooler,
but I found the photo of Hunter, the dude at the steakhouse in Chicago.
Hunter, that was the dude.
I found his.
You found it?
Yeah, I found his photo.
It brought back so many memories.
You want to hear how the New York Times described Ruiz?
Yes.
Okay.
Here's the sentence.
And it seemed almost secondary that the man Joshua was facing for his first fight on the United States soil was Andy Ruiz Jr.,
a doughy Mexican-American fighter with a penchant for eating Snickers before his fights.
Doughy.
Come on, man.
It's not ideal to get described by doughy.
He's pretty doughy, though.
I know, but if you're the heavyweight champion of the world and the New York Times is writing about you and they describe you as doughy, that's just an insult.
I'm walking into the New York Times and I'm dicing somebody up.
Yeah, that's not – you don't really expect that from the New York Times.
Why don't you say husky or thick, two Cs?
Three Cs probably for this.
Just do it.
Yeah.
And that is your Combat Sports Minute.
Wow.
Is that it for today? was exciting oh dude it may have
been even worse sorry a month's notice on that fight i'm not saying he would have looked much
better if he had a full training camp like eight weeks ten weeks but to take that fight on a month's
notice and then win that heavyweight title man that's crazy yeah i think he got over i think
he was getting overlooked he did man never never underestimate Never Let's get out of here
We'll be back tomorrow on Tuesday on Patreon
We'll be back Wednesday on your normal feeds
And Friday
Also don't forget to check out the shirt
It'll be up today
Holler at you guys later
Goodbye you guys later. Goodbye.