Circling Back - Coffee Friday 008: Texas Dives (@texasdives)
Episode Date: April 14, 2023It's Friday and we're drinking coffee. This Friday, we welcome Raf of Texas Dives — an Instagram account covering dive bars, dance halls, honky-tonks, BBQ joints, diners and anything “old Texas.�...� We discussed what makes dive bars into dive bars, his favorite spots across the state, cocktails vs. mixed drinks, Austin staples, and more. Follow Texas Dives: https://www.instagram.com/texasdives/ Enjoy a free two-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop Support This Episode’s Sponsors Rocket Money: www.rocketmoney.com/circling --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Coffee's for closers only.
You think I'm fucking with you?
I am not fucking with you.
I am, I am, I am, I am not fucking with you.
Coffee's for closers only.
Closers only.
Coffee's for closers only.
I'm catch up.
I'm catch up.
Beep-bop.
Alright, we're back. Circling Back Podcast. coming to you live from Austin, Texas. My name
is Will DeFries. To my left, David Roth. How you doing, Will? I'm laughing right now. This
is kind of meta. I'm laughing because my wife caught me laughing last night as I went to bed,
and she goes, what are you laughing at? We haven't spoken in the last minute.
And I was like, I'm laughing at this meme I just thought of.
Not like an original meme, but I thought of the goofy meme.
Randy knows it.
It's really dumb and I probably shouldn't have brought it up
because most people don't know what I'm talking about,
but that is honestly why I'm laughing.
Which goofy meme is it?
Is it the I'll do it again one?
It's the I'll do it again.
Okay.
Yeah.
I don't know why that owns so much real estate in my head the last couple weeks,
but I've just been walking around thinking it in my head.
In what context are you thinking about it?
I don't know.
Okay.
Just whatever?
If I'm walking over to the pantry to take my Nutrafol non-spawn, for some reason, I'll just think, fucking do it again.
That's so stupid.
I know.
You think in memes.
Yeah.
This job is really
ruining you've done a number on me your brain is back on my dumb boy shit we got the mayor of
meme town here dylan shivery wow thank you for that uh it's by the way this is coffee friday
glaring lack of coffee over there yeah so uh if i'm gonna introduce our guest here and after i do
that i'm gonna go get a coffee from the refrigerator i I don't know what I'm doing. I had one at home this morning and I
sat down to record today and I have zero coffee in front of me. Today, we have a very special
guest in the studio. You might know him as Texas Dives on Instagram. We've been following him for
a bit now. And honestly, it might be the most relevant content on my timeline these days.
Raf, welcome to the program. Thank thank you everyone uh thanks for having me uh beautiful
day in austin texas it is excited to be here uh i'm a little bummed that i wasn't here when you
guys did the whale dicks episode yeah yeah yeah it's tough facts you know i think it's cool that
you guys are doing like marine biology and like you know we try we'll educate so we try to
entertain but we also try
to teach people a thing or two around here yeah um by the way i i have to i'm slow to follow you
on on the grom but as of three minutes ago i am i am a follower so awesome thank you it's a big
one for you i understand i'm very excited to have you so like you know a lot of pressure now to keep
delivering the good content hey so do you have a theory on the Loch Ness Monster on whether it's an actual, like, underwater ally or potentially a whale's penis?
Yeah.
I, you know, I think I still need to brush up on my marine biology because I don't know if whales reside in northern Scotland lakes.
So, it might be something else.
Freshwater, saltwater, different.
You know, Dave was under the impression that a blue whale had a 30-meter penis. northern scotland lakes so it might be something freshwater saltwater different yeah you know day
was under the impression that a blue whale had a 30 meter penis i read the thing wrong which feels
like it's like bigger than a bus that would not be that's the largest mammal so i mean wouldn't
be that okay 30 meters is egregious it's a lot of dick it is a lot okay you're right it is a lot
hey you know a lot of parents reached out to me privately um and they really were complimentary of the show they're
like hey i listened to the show with my my young child and um the lesson you guys taught them in
marine biology specifically on whales anatomy was something that they couldn't get anywhere else no
textbook do that in quotes no textbook is going to teach him something like that so yeah
yeah i called will out on having coffee now he comes back double barrels oh he's got one for
dave my man i just gave a very nice little uh monologue there and you just brushed right past
it yeah i was i was too focused on the bing bong headed my way dave i got you some cold brew uh i
don't know if this is cold brew concentrate or if this is just uh you know normal cold brew
it's ready to drink so i only filled it halfway i met you in the middle i'll fucking do it again
oh man raf do you have any conspiracies that you think we need to do on our touching based
conspiracy podcast um well i just dropped that you know back to office conspiracy like five minutes
ago um that is a good oh i have a shoe one i have a shoe conspiracy okay so why is it
that all of the shoes are doing white outer soles they get dirty faster than other color soles and then you have to buy new shoes
it's crazy i think it's conspiracy okay okay oh like wow i'm saying you wear the shoe out quicker
that way okay it's making black do y'all think y'all think there's credibility to the uh i mean
i think haven't they researched like the apple iphone battery thing like it actually dies faster
oh i think they got
they got popped for it it's like a thing the update do you have any of your old colleagues
that have talked about this i used to work at singular wireless uh no we don't we don't keep
in touch anymore uh you know the light bulb thing right uh can't light bulbs hypothetically last
like almost like an entire lifetime but they just don just don't? I think one of the first light bulbs ever invented is still working.
They're made intentionally to burn out over time, so you just got to keep buying them.
It's total bullshit.
It's facts, dude.
I think I'm going to burn out over time.
Yeah, you might.
He's talking about weed.
No, I wasn't, dude.
I was talking about my star shone and bright dude
I just need to
kind of go back
and unpackage
the light bulb
that's been burning
since like
its inception
it's true
where can we find it
I'm very curious
look it up
it is in Edison's crib
do you see they're trying
to run my man Tesla's
name through the mud
Nikola or
no not
not that
not the
the former
I'm gonna find this eternal all right
the eternal light bulb the centennial light is the world's longest lasting light bulb
burning since 1901 and almost never turned off it is located uh it's in california i'm not gonna do
the address let's dox this light bulb let's go turn it off yeah it's it's been burning for over 100 years
like we have that we have the tech it's there we just look it just make people keep going to the
fucking randall's and buy new ones it's bullshit it's bullshit that's where you get your light
bulbs you go to randall's they they sell them i mean i don't know randall's is just one of many
grocery stores there's one close to me so it's like rap what's
your go-to grocery store you don't have to give like the exact location but yeah so uh it's kind
of crazy it's the wheat'sville because i live by wheat'sville it's a co-op guy oh but like i tell
people like you think that you know the capitalist jeff bezos uh whole Foods is expensive Wait till you go to the commie store Yeah
It is
Yeah
It's gonna suck you dry
Yeah
So
They profiled Dave
They profiled Dave
And didn't ask him
If he was a member
At the co-op
Yeah
Will and I had a run
We were going there
And they used to have
I don't know
They still have a sandwich counter
Yeah
They would make a good sandwich
Took forever
And here's a conspiracy
Their sandwich You'd wait Wait like 25 minutes for them to make your sandwich. There's
nobody else there. And I'm pretty convinced that so you'll just walk around the store and buy random
shit, which is exactly what I did. Yeah. Like, why am I getting this tall boy of hard kombucha
right now? Yeah. I didn't need that. But I wore a golf polo in there one time. I looked like I was
going right to the course and they just i
just did not fit in they saw my beard and they were like sir you're a member right and i was
like no no they don't even ask me if i'm a member they just like ring me up and like all right
we'll see you again i guess yeah it's like the it's like when you watch like the cia spy movie
and the one guy in like the market in sudan's wearing like the polo shirt and you're like
immediately like that guy's the cia yeah're immediately like, that guy's the CIA.
Yeah.
That guy's got a body count.
He just got made.
We've got some important news
before we get into the meat of today's episode.
Patreon.com slash Circling Back Podcast.
Go make that happen.
We did Touching Base Conspiracies on Tuesday.
This upcoming Tuesday, we're doing exactly five minutes.
Thursdays, we always do Friday voicemails. You know that. 888-618-4422. Go over to youtube.com slash circling back.
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well done well thank you i crushed that i crushed that out of the park your favorite podcasters slash circling. Well done, Will. Thank you.
I crushed that. You're a pro.
I crushed that.
Out of the park.
Your favorite podcaster's favorite podcaster right here.
Just running the game on ad reads.
All right, let's get into the thick of things.
I think where we need to start off right now,
because you are the Texas dive bar guy,
we need to know what the formula is
that equates into something being a dive bar
versus just being a bar.
Yeah. So this is a hotly debated issue. Recently, a lot of hot takes were going down on my Instagram
page. And I think people have been arguing about this, I feel like for ages and, uh, you know, the,
the researchers are digging through the reams of data, try to figure this out. And, um, uh,
you know, I think, and something that I'm trying to start and find out is like, you can find
something that like bucks the rule almost always because dives have such a diversity to them and
there's all they're always like trying to throw something in something different authentic but
um i think that's okay so like there's a few kind of like hard rules and then every there's a bunch
of other rules or signs that you're like okay this is probably a dive bar. I think the top rule is you can't build a new dive bar.
Okay.
I agree.
A dive bar is like something, it's like a fine,
it has to be aged like a wine,
but more like a Four Loko or something.
Can you take over a space,
like it's a new bar, but it's an old structure.
I think there's like a time limit.
Like I think you have to put in like eight years minimum.
And like, because I think a lot of dives, when the dive opened, it was a regular bar.
Like the seats were nice.
The floor was nice.
And then like the owner just didn't care yeah i
feel like it i feel like there needs to be like a rise a rise to notoriety and then it needs to
completely cool off but still stay in business for a long time you know i'm thinking like there's a
like in the scenario that dylan just presented there's a there's like a period of time where
while it may not be a dive bar i think i think it's acceptable for me to refer to it as divee, but not a dive bar.
That's going to take whatever the allotted amount of time is, eight years, 10 years.
I mean, I personally like a number like 10, a full decade, but I'm open to other interpretations, Dylan.
Okay.
Thanks, Dave.
I appreciate that. It was a very formal response from you. Yeah. Okay, thanks, Dave. I appreciate that.
That was a very formal response from you.
Yeah, okay.
All right, what else, Raph?
So this was a debate that was happening.
I think that if you have a cocktail menu, you're out.
I love this rule.
I think this is a great rule.
That's what's up
and a cocktail menu right yeah sure yeah dude rip that shit up dylan let's define cocktail
i think that's i think that's a prerequisite before we make this argument dylan define
cocktail right it uh a liquor drink with at least two liquid ingredients like raf bourbon over ice is not a cocktail it's just bourbon correct i would say
probably three ingredients i think two ingredients is a mixed drink
there you go even if you do two ingredients whatever you just yammed on
i mean he's the guy.
Okay, sorry.
I'm still doing research, you know, and this is helpful in the studies.
So this will be, you know, packaged at some point.
You know what?
That sounds right.
Like Dylan, when you go and you order –
When you get like a Woodford and Dr. Pepper, like your go-to panic water. Stop. like i don't do that that's that's a mixed drink that's not a cocktail there's no skill there
they're just dumping like a vodka soda a vodka soda is probably not a cocktail that's fair you
know that's fair fair but i do i let me just say i do like the idea that a cocktail menu immediately
takes you off the the dive train like that's good because i think you know i dive train. Like, that's good. Because I think, you know,
I've been to a place that makes a margarita
that's pretty divey,
but it's a pretty decent margarita.
But, like, that's it.
They didn't, like, make anything else.
I went to a bar in New York one time
that I would consider to be a dive bar.
And I stupidly ordered a martini,
and the lady just poured vodka into a glass
and put an olive in it and handed it to me.
And I was like, you know what?
I deserve this and I'm not bummed about this.
And it was that moment that I was like, yeah, you can't order stuff like that in these places.
They don't want to do that.
No.
They're not trying to do flair bartending maneuvers.
I don't want to get ahead of myself here and I don't want to cuck your list, but is there anything in the behavior of bartenders that is required for a dive bar?
Yeah, so I think people would agree that when you go to any sort of establishment, whether it's a good establishment or it's a bar, a dive bar, the bartender will make your experience.
You can go to a great, one of the best cocktail places, but a bartender is not paying attention
to you, sucks, and you're going to hate it.
And at a dive bar, they are more regularly going to give you a bad experience.
They're ornery.
Facts. You know, they're not, they'll give you a bad experience um they're ornery facts you know they're not they'll they're they'll give you the drink maybe they'll chat with you a little bit but more often they're not you
know they got stuff going on uh they're trying to see there's there's usually one person working
so they're trying to see like no one's like reaching over the bar stealing anything
um it's almost like they don't really care how much
money they make yeah like they're in business and like yeah they'll make a few bucks that night but
it's like fucking don't care it's like the saudi golf fund for the live tour it's a little different
i know i'm just saying i'm pointing out they're analogous in a way no i don't know okay go ahead
sorry edit that out.
It's kind of like they're nagging you.
That's what... It's like unless you're a regular, they want you to leave.
They're like, why are you asking me for this right now?
It's like ordering a drink from them and you're inconveniencing them.
Like, yeah, I'll give you an ultra right.
Here you go.
Why is that your default go-to beer that you you think i drink now yeah really yeah what's the
damage on that i got twisted on it last night actually really how many how many ultra rights
did you have last night i had eight last night that's good yeah that's so you spent
and you spent 27 on beers it was expensive yeah yeah i'm trying to figure out i had a i had a
time in my 20s we went to uh this is back in the days of like – there'd be like 18 of us.
We'd meet up at my buddy's place in Fort Worth, and we'd all go out,
and all dudes because, of course, we didn't get chicks.
No chicks.
No chicks at all, just vibes.
And we all showed up to like a full – like what I believe was like a Fort Worth dive bar,
and it has all the hallmarks.
believe it was like a Fort Worth dive bar and it has all the hallmarks and they the woman behind the bar was so like she did she like would not serve us and we just left and like looking back
on it I'm like I wouldn't have served us either like just like 18 dudes rolling in there all the
regulars are sitting at the bar and we're trying to get a drink and I get it regulars yes that's a big big uh trait for a dive bar that's on my list
not only that pictures of the regulars up on the wall or behind the bar somewhere
deep eddie does that what about like a chair that's like got a placard on it that says like
this is daryl's so okay at deep eddie and i've been going there for
a while i used to live we know you're from austin there was this guy who was that like no kidding he
was there every night he was like the regular of regulars and he was always just completely smashed
and he passed away eventually i don't know what from okay and they put his picture up like behind
the bar like across from the seat that he
always sat in and it's like oh there's it was just like is there a happy ending to this story no
it's just like it's a dive bar man yeah that's a nice touch there was a dive bar i'd go to in
san francisco and there's a guy who would sit at the bar every day and he would just drink hot sake
and they demolished that bar while i was living there and i was just like what's this dude's plan now like he's been here every single night for the
last 30 years i like what what are you gonna go do now you gotta be bored you would always go hot
sake that's it i loved it i don't even think i don't even know why they served hot sake there
i think they just got it for him dude that's if hot sake is like your drink of choice at a dive bar,
I know it wasn't like a bar bar, right?
It was a straight-up dive bar.
We ripped the toilet out when they told us that they were tearing it down.
Oh, that's the place.
So we took the toilet out of the ground.
I still feel guilty about that, but at the same time, they didn't really care.
That's a good move.
Yeah.
What else is on the list of dive bar requirements?
Dylan brought up a good one, like just crazy shit on the walls uh lots of different stuff craziest thing i've ever seen on a wall was at the page ice house in page texas where they had
a captured isis flag on the wall that's oh my god oh yeah that's oh yeah now we're talking and the bar
owner's uh son uh had snagged it and like it also wasn't like afghanistan it was like sudan and i
was like whoa damn like some black ops stuff so don't tell harlan crowe why is he gonna go take
it i'll add it to his collection oh yeah that's fair take it that's all
i'm saying that's a ballsy thing just to take back with you yeah it's pretty dope though and
like just say hey donate it to the bar right cool i don't yeah i'm not putting that in my bedroom
no you might see some eyes looking through your window that night and suddenly it's like oh shit
it's over yeah um as far as your
favorite establishments in austin like where do you frequent are you a regular anywhere
yeah um you know i got my spots i was like i don't want to blow my spot up but like
everyone knows there's there's not you know it's been like on TV shows. So I like to go to the Cloak Room, which is like this basement bar, like immediately adjacent to the Capitol building.
I've heard about this place and I've never been.
I really want to go.
Okay.
I forgot what it was called.
I've been there.
And it's like there are like rules to ordering too, right?
That place is like, it's like a TV set.
There's like shenanigans happening all the time.
Like, you don't know if you're going to be sitting next to like a senator or like a drunk.
And is it, correct me if I'm wrong, there's like an older woman who runs the bar, correct?
There was an older woman who was like a austin celebrity essentially she retired and then um her daughter
melissa started running it um melissa is such a character like i've seen her feed uh just she has
this big bag of cat food and she just like feeds all these raccoons that come out of the storm
drains outside and there's a cat that thinks it's one of the raccoons and he also feasts with the raccoon,
stormtrooper raccoons.
Sneaky cute.
That's a good dive bar thing.
There's just a random cat that hangs out all the time.
Are phones not allowed in this place?
I think they're allowed.
It's really dark.
It's always very, very dim.
So it's pretty hard to take photos.
I remember I went in there once
and before i went
in i was given like the full rundown of the expectations when you order and like your
behavior in the bar like you can't wear a hat i thought you couldn't have a maybe that was like
the the older woman's is there any truth to that it fills up with uh guys in suits when uh when they
uh shut down for the day over at the capitol yeah so i've been you know i've been going there for a
couple years and i've never really like,
obviously we had COVID and I really saw that.
And then I was there last week.
I was there like Wednesday or something.
And bam, like here comes a crowd.
In a half an hour, standing room only,
no seats available.
Everyone's wearing a suit.
Everyone's talking about some legislation
that just passed or didn't pass.
Looked like something out of like a house of cards yeah to be honest yeah that's exactly what i imagined like it just yeah that's kind of what people have told me um what's your what's
your drink of choice when you go into the cloakroom or any bar uh at the cloakroom i like
a you know like a scotch just like a scotch on the rocks. Um, you know, usually at a dive, like they'll have a red label.
So, you know, at the regular dive, just, you know, uh, Lone Star and sometimes Chateau
Whiskey, trying not to like, especially if I'm going somewhere, I'm like, uh, I'm hanging
out for a little bit.
Now I want to take some photos.
I don't want to bring too much attention.
I'm not saying like, oh, I'm like taking photos and running about this place.
I'm just trying to chill out.
Sometimes I like, I try to like fit in.
So I like wear like my Daytona Bike Week shirt or something, you know.
It's like Dudo wearing his car heart to the mechanic.
Well, my friend says this makes it worse.
He's like, you can't, like, I can't like pretend that I'm like from bike week.
And he thinks that I make it worse and people are like –
No, you have to play the part.
Like this is something I've dealt with.
In northern Michigan, there's a lot of dive bars that are – for lack of a better word, are dominated by like a redneck community.
And I think they would probably call themselves
rednecks too and like you kind of just have to pander to it and hope that like no one wants to
kick your ass if you look like you're not playing the part and so it's like yeah i might put on
something a little more rough today man ref is it tough for you because you are a tall feller
yeah you can't really blend in when you're yeah i mean sometimes you know sorry dylan you're
getting tinyfied oh yeah you're getting tiny five oh yeah
you are getting tiny five don't say tiny five that's just don't be tiny you know i think like
a lot of times people think like you know it's like it's scary to go to the vast majority of
these places i don't think it's very scary and i think you know it's people want to be friendly
and like sometimes you walk
into a place and people look at you weird and they'll like give you the eye but like the eye
is different than like calling you a name or whatever and that like has happened very very
very rarely yeah what's the what's the the toughest bar like the one where you felt like the most like
um yeah so i figured this out through the experience
um it was like i don't want to hype them up because they suck but like is this bar in midland
and uh i don't know if you've been to midland it's like you know it's a working class uh tough kind
of town a lot of roughnecks and oil money over there and uh i figured this out it's the like so like when you
go to a bar that has a lot of video slots like they do not like you taking photos because sometimes
there's uh you know like some business activity around those video slots and they get suspicious
about like who are you where you're coming from and why are you taking photos? And I basically like, you know how you have like a biker dudes,
but like sometimes they're just like,
I'm retired and I bought a Harley biker dude.
And sometimes they're like, definitely not that they're more like legit biker
dudes.
End up at twin peaks in Waco.
So I had a couple of biker dudes being like, what are you doing?
Taking photos. I'm like, Oh, I just like taking photos? I'm like, oh, just like taking photos.
They're like, and they're like, you know, like don't take photos in here.
And then like I try to like sneak a couple more like through armpits and stuff.
And I'm leaving like this like off-duty cop thing security guard like chases me down.
He's, you know, he's got strapped and he's like, what are you doing in here?
Starts like interrogating me.
Like, let me see your ID, all this stuff.
And I'm just like, I'm out of here.
Like, I'm not hanging out here anymore.
You should have pulled up your Instagram and be like, look, I'm just, I'm taking pics, man.
We're doing numbers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know if they are into that.
And that's another thing about dive bars.
There's a, the clientele is often like technologically not up to it.
You know?
That's the, that's.
Not online.
Yeah.
And you can't have like a HDTV in in a dive bar it's got to be like
the old tube tv or a really shitty flat screen yeah like there's a there's a bar that i used to
go to and they would always play red wings games on like an old tube tv you couldn't even see the
fucking puck it was great it was just like yes this is what i want yeah for sure dive bars can't
have their touch tunes or they're playing nick at night no touch
to nick at night play an old school jukebox yeah the one at deep eddie they have a jukebox there
and if you're not if no one puts money in to play music there's no like like music playing at all in
the whole place it's like it only plays if you put money in and choose a song there's no like ambiance at all it's funny yeah i like that what what city in texas do you
think has the most uh the most worthy dive bars uh that is a great question and um
did you know that uh 70 percent of tex live in the triangle, which is basically the northeastern portion of the state between Dallas-Fort Worth, San Antonio, and Houston?
So that's where most people live.
And just in general, I wouldn't say like, if I had to pick one city, I don't know. that's tough i think it's like kind of even i think it's
kind of even between the dives like um you know i do like how historic some of the dives in houston
are um but just the general the stretch like the east to west stretch of like fredericksburg
to houston that belt through the country. And as it flattens
out, that's like the gold mine of dive bars in Texas. Okay. I kind of love that. Interesting.
And there's like great stuff in the Hills. And then as you drive towards, um, uh, Houston,
there's great stuff, but yeah, especially like the Hill country, there's just some classics out there.
yeah especially like the hill country there's just some classics out there um uh albert's texas albert ice house is so sick it's like kind of like lukenbach it's a small town like population
two it's like the owner and someone else and it's an old ice house and um ice houses are
i don't know if you guys are familiar with uh the ice houses in southern te Texas. And it's basically a box
that they flip the kind of doors and windows up
and they kind of start to serve beer out of there.
And they originated from back in the day,
they would literally cut ice out of lakes
and rivers up North,
ship them down through the Gulf.
And then they would store the ice
in these boxes in South Texas.
And you would come to the ice house and you would buy ice and take it home with you and the area around the ice house was cooler
because they were storing tons of ice in the ground so people would just start buying beer
getting hammered hanging out of these ice houses and that's what like the ice house bar comes from
like okay never knew that never really thought about the origin of that word that's interesting i've always wondered if there was an actual like reason it was called an
ice house because i've always i've always enjoyed when something's got the ice house moniker it's
like okay yeah some of them like kind of like tag on they're not really ice houses these are for
branding but like southern like south of austin yeah yes interesting are you going to these bars
by yourself yeah oh wow just yeah flying private
okay i'm looking i just looked at albert's ice house are you fucking with the vibe yeah i mean
it looks like a barn basically that's the dance hall part oh okay and then there's like a smaller
kind of like shack ice house next to it oh this must be it right here yes exactly oh that's cool
yeah i'm into it if you had to start an account for
other dive bars outside of texas what state would you lead with yeah i think uh i don't really think
it's like a close uh race it's wisconsin oh i was not expecting okay i i've like i've been to
lacrosse wisconsin on a business trip and it's a smaller town. I
don't know, like 50,000 people. There's college there. There's, there's three bars. Like you walk
by three bars and they're just like residential. They're everywhere. The, the, the bar to a per
capita ratio is insane. Wisconsin has drank a ton. Uh, I it's just uh northern kind of like you know texas is out
is an outdoor culture we have a lot of patios we have a lot of um ice houses we we can go hiking
year-round when you live up in the like wisconsin northwoods you're just like going snowmobiling
getting drunk oh yeah that's it there's not much going on cheese curds yeah is there any is
there anything on uh is there are there any rules with dive bars that go with food yeah so um
i've seen one or two instances where like there bends the rule but like no kitchen
usually no kitchen where does the rule fall about bringing your own food into the dive bar
yeah i think that's okay and that's common and sometimes you'll see like a stack of menus or
something to like order your own but uh generally you know sometimes they'll like
obviously they can have a taco truck or something outside or maybe they'll make you like a personal
pan pizza and that like personal like a cooker they have behind the bar but generally if they
have a kitchen it's it's it's generally not not done there's a a bar um i don't know if you've
been to lano a town square of lano and they let you bring in your own alcohol there you go so we
went in there one time we uh our buddy travis his family has got a place out there and we all met at
this bar and he brought in like a handle of scotch and he was just pouring drinks for everyone like
they don't they don't care they're not making any money on this like yeah they don't care it was
pretty wild so the technical term of that is a setup that's what they call it. It's a setup.
Stick them up.
Stick them up.
What do you mean?
Explain.
So certain bars won't have liquor licenses.
So they basically will charge you.
They'll give you a bunch of mixers.
They'll give you like a fee for bringing the bottle in.
And then they'll get their little cut
and then you can just hang out and drink.
Set up.
Good to know.
Do you do research when you're going places
or do you kind of just go on vibes?
I mean, I've followed you travel around a lot so far
since following the account,
anywhere from, you know, Texas to Barcelona.
I mean, you were in Spain.
Like how much research goes into it depending on where you are. Yeah. I'm a fan of research. I think like,
I like to make a plan and research. Like if I'm going on a trip, if you're going on a trip with
a friend, who's just like, we're going to wing it. Like that trip is going to suck. I agree.
Like in my opinion, I used to do that. And then my, my wife is so type a that she makes us plan
out everything. And now I'm like, yeah, I get it.
It's much easier to know exactly what you're doing.
You've got to have a planner in the travel group.
Yeah.
I don't get the vibe that you're doing that much planning right now.
No, if I have to, I will, for sure.
It's not typically my role, but if I'm the guy, I'll fucking crush it.
You'll end up at the Cheesecake Factory on vacation with Dylan if you're not careful.
Are you kidding? If you don't do the research.
Are you fucking kidding me?
So you ever been around Pecos Way?
I heard there's a lot of sun-baked land out there.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That's how you know you're in Pecos.
Might be an investment opportunity.
I'm not sure.
Well, that's kind of why we brought you here.
After the show, we'd like to talk to you about a unique business opportunity.
I'm looking at the best bars in Pecos right now,
and the number one thing that came up was the Red Iguana Nightclub that has one star.
That sounds sick. Yeah, the Red I red iguana nightclub that sounds like a
wonderful spot there's got to be a place for all the uh roughnecks oil and gas guys to go so there's
probably a good one i don't know if it's one that i would recommend go taking going to take pictures
of because i feel like is your experience in midland would only be magnified in pecos because i feel
like pecos is like even more uh isolated than midland somehow well maybe we need to make a trip
i'm seeing a video slot in the photo that's coming up so this is gonna be a tough one
uh i don't think they're gonna like the photos in there i gotcha yeah i gotcha so have you ever had
a bar that you went to and did that, like reach out to you after
like, Hey, thanks for coming in.
I really appreciate you doing this.
Um, yeah, sometimes they'll, you know, I'll like tag them on the, on the site and I'll,
uh, you know, they'll say something like, I'm not, if I go somewhere, it sucks.
Like, I'm not gonna, I'm just not gonna like write about it.
I don't want to like, you know, like rag on them.
I don't want to give them a small business a hard time
like um that's big of you maybe if they're exceptionally hilariously bad you know like
or they threaten me in the parking lot so like yeah yeah they shake you down
man but uh no other than that no not really and uh yeah just like you know um i we had obviously we had a pandemic covid and uh a lot of places closed during the
pandemic and i was looking at a you know um i have you know um uh background like writing i used to
write for like thrillist eater like more like travel stuff and i wanted to do a travel project
and i was um kind of thinking about this and i went to i don't know if you guys been to the
the dry creek cafe i have yeah one of the one of the finest dive bars ever made uh you know it was
in the west hills of austin and it closed um probably like a year ago and i just kind of
thought like this is a great time to like do this project and get this like cultural snapshot of all these places um as
they you know because they don't they don't last forever and they close and there's a great article
in the texas monthly in 1987 it was like the best like 93 bars in texas and out of those like
93 bars there's like seven left oh wow yeah yeah dry creek is a it was a cool spot there's like seven left. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah, Dry Creek, it was a cool spot.
There's a song about it by Owen Temple.
I don't know if you've ever heard it.
But yeah, it was an interesting place.
I think they only had long neck beers.
And you buy a beer, you go up to the patio, you drink it,
and you can't buy another one unless you bring the bottle back
and swap it out for a new one.
Of course, you've got to buy the new one.
But it was interesting. What, Dave? You got something? got something no will look to me i was looking at him i think we might be thinking the same thing what reopen it but instead of long neck bottles only vortex
bottles okay we got to bring vortex that would be sick you do need to bring vortex back i was
i don't know why i was thinking this but when he said long neck i was imagining dylan uh with a
giraffe neck okay see what i deal
with on a daily basis i'm just trying to i'm trying to tell a cool little tale on these that
was cool these jackasses that was cool that was cool it is cool it was it was uh yeah rath um i
have to ask this as a as a dfw guy favorite dive bar in dallas um i i went to i really like this place so i got to go back um i've been to dallas a few times but
i got to go back and still fill in the gaps but i really liked uh mike's gemini twin it's a like a
newer place but the place itself was old like because there's like a previous bar before that
and i and i walk in and it's like there's just a guy at the bar they have coffee usually
if they have a coffee machine i'm like this place is legit yeah i just i you know it's legit because
when i just googled it the first link that comes up is a facebook page that's how you know it goes
that's their website yeah that's when you know it's good they don't have a logo on the website
it's just a picture of the pool table as their profile photo like that's how you know yeah are there any games like games or or like anything that that you think are more divey
than others like darts versus um darts and pool tables man what about uh shuffleboard
i'm a shuffleboard guy that's my preference but you know darts and pool tables are more common
obviously so i'm just too soft to uh to go and pool tables are more common, obviously.
I'm just too soft to go to pool tables at dive bars at this point.
I'm just afraid someone's going to snap a cue over my back and beat the shit out of me.
That's how you know you're there.
You're somebody at a dive bar.
Yeah.
Earn your stripes.
Get the shit kicked out of you.
Man, I wish we could go.
There is a dive bar. Dylan and i went to school in san marcos and there used to be a bar called the restless wind wow and uh we used to go there and we've
told the story like five times but our friend ross would go there he went there underage for
a number of years as did a lot of uh our buddies and then uh one time ross decided to celebrate
his 21st birthday there and they're like
what are you celebrating like oh he's turning 21. they're like the tall guy who's been coming here
for like a year and a half and they're like oh and they they banned us they banned our fraternity they
should have beat the out of you and let you back dude they really should have like bar
closed but that was oof that was as divey as it got in san marcos yeah uh favorite dive
i guess you said the cloakroom are you a fan of deep eddie yeah deep eddie is uh you know
maybe pound for pound like the most uh authentic like sickest old school dive bar in austin it's
got to be like deep eddie or maybe don's depot but
don's depot is also kind of a honky tonk because they do have live music so regularly so yeah um
those are you know i think legendary spots um you don't think of other ones in austin where
does live music well he just just did Me Not Cat.
Yeah, I did Me Not Cat.
That one is, you know, some people are saying, like, it's not a – people love to comment about, like, what's a dot, what's a dot.
You know, and it's, like, you know, it's a little bit older.
It was, hey, it was in Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2.
Like, that's pretty cool.
So it used to beas chainsaw massacre too like that's pretty cool so uh it was used to be a
chainsaw repair shop it was like cut right chainsaw there's gonna be a bar called change
chainsaw repair shop in downtown austin in like the next like year that's that's will and i's
alt rock band yeah the fact that it the fact that it like is almost touching that apartment building
next to it probably takes away from the divey part of it doesn't it yeah but it's also kind of interesting like you see that at um minai cat you see that at
um uh broken spoke right like the broken spoke was also like the minai cat like it was a gravel
lot like there's nothing around it and now it's just new buildings surrounding it essentially broken spoke just actually got a texas historical plaque marker i'm so happy they got that yeah
that's nice because you know there's a city that's uh established on its live music that's
what it's selling and like you know i think that is a great thing for the city to continue to
uh to to protect those kind of historic places.
I have no kitchen there, if I'm not mistaken.
They just have a dude that rolls up with a smoker, and they do that on Fridays for lunch.
That's tight.
I don't know if they still do that, but when I was living over there,
at Fridays, they would do some barbecue out back.
I've eaten there once, but I don't remember what the situation was when I ordered the food.
I can't remember at all.
It's been a while.
When Brett first moved here, Brett and I went there and i told him i was like they're not
gonna like us when we walk in but i think they're gonna love us by the time we leave
and that was exactly what happened who did the surprise concert there was a garth garth does it
uh george straight did it george straight's a recent album of george straight's was uh he
photo in front of that's right yeah broken spoke i love the broken spoke it's a good spot we know
we don't go there enough no i don't go to enough dive bars i think that's like part of the reason
that i love your account is because it's like pushing me to go to dive bars instead of going
to like places that serve 18 cocktails it's honestly a shame that we don't go to deep eddie
more than we do yeah i mean you just you and i just need to drink more together i think we should
drink more i'll live right over there.
I know.
I'm going to start
skateboarding there.
And it's one of my favorites.
Do you want to start
skateboarding there
with me, Dylan?
You can rollerblade there.
I'll probably just drive,
but...
Okay.
Can I sketch?
Uber.
Let a player sketch.
Yeah, you can sketch.
Can you ask your Uber driver
if I can sketch too?
We got to do a trip,
a group trip.
Raph, you can maybe
tag along out...
It's a little bit west of here. Pecos? No, Dick's Saloon. Ohaph, you can maybe tag along out.
It's a little bit west of here.
Pecos? No, Dick's Saloon. Oh, yeah.
The Dick's Saloon. Over your left shoulder is a picture of it. We have a saloon that we have created.
It's an artist
rendering. It's a friendly place.
Yeah.
Plenty of dick. Plenty of dick.
How many
podcasts have you... They have a kitchen, though.
How many podcasts have you reviewed?
Podcasts?
Yeah.
How many podcasts have I reviewed?
Yeah.
You did ours, right?
Oh, yeah.
I was looking for, you know, Austin, Texas kind of related podcast.
This was, you know, it was just, you know, I just love to banter.
You know, you guys i love the the facial hairs
so we try you're gonna be mad if will shaves so i'm thinking a little bit i want to go mustache
for like a little bit and i have a dick ass i have i know dude it's it's real thick it's like
dick saloon style like straight out of a movie i i almost shaved into a mustache the other day i
was really close i texted the group i didn't get full buy-in uh intern klein and dylan were into it uh i just i i wimped out show us your face
i don't well one of the issues right now is that i'm worried that it's going to be all pale
underneath this so i don't want to do it when you listen to our podcast was dave your favorite
yeah dave's always he's everyone he's's everybody's favorite. I think equally everyone was my favorite.
That's a good answer.
I couldn't pick.
That's the perfect answer for what we're currently doing.
There's a loading phase.
Man, where can the folks at home find you on the social media?
Yeah, so I am at TexasDives, one word, on the Instagram.
I don't think I'm a TikTok guy.
I don't know if I'm going to make it on there.
And I will make it on Facebook at one point because I think that is my core demo.
So I do need to get it on Facebook.
So I will get it on Facebook.
But for now, it's just the gram at Texas Dives.
Cool.
Have you ever done New Orleans?
I love New Orleans. I was there for my birthday a couple months the Graham at Texas Dives. Cool. Have you ever done New Orleans? I love New Orleans.
I was there for my birthday a couple months ago.
New Orleans is sick.
I love Snake and Jake's.
It's awesome.
You can just stumble up and down.
You're getting the itch to go.
Dude, I have the itch.
Let's go to New Orleans.
Let's do a New Orleans trip.
He's horny for, what's that place called?
Not Lafitte's?
The place we ate? Commander's P's. The place that we ate.
Commander's Pals.
Popeye's.
Did we eat Commander's Pals?
Dude, I love that chicken from Popeye's.
Well, we got dressed up and spent like four hours.
Oh, the brunch.
Galatoire's.
Galatoire's.
Yeah.
You're horny for Galatoire's.
No, Dave wants to go eat a pig head.
He wants that purple drink too.
No, no pig head this time.
Dude, you want to eat that pig head?
I do Lafitte's when you're there?
Yeah.
Okay, good.
I just want to pull up
get out of my uber to go to wherever we're staying and then just smell trash because it's 98 degrees
it has its drawbacks but it's a it's a great place no it's good it's it's endearing i love
i love it's my favorite place did my bachelor party there didn't get that invite i did true
i got a little bit i got one now yeah i had to say no i didn't trust that invite. I did. I got one. A little bit. I got one. Yeah.
I had to say no.
I didn't trust myself going to New Orleans
with a bunch of guys
that I just met.
You made the right choice.
And based on how I acted
the last time I was in New Orleans
where Dylan took me home,
I think that was a good choice
on my part, actually.
I got COVID.
Coronavirus.
Yeah.
That's become our
Saturday night protocol
on Batch Report.
I just get Will home.
I make sure that Dylan's
not going to feel too bad on Sunday because he's got to take me home. I just get, I just get will home. I make sure that Dylan's not going to feel too bad on Sunday. Cause he's got to take me home.
Well, Raf, thank you for joining us. This has been fun. Great coffee Friday. I'm sure we're
going to be seeing more of you. I think, uh, I think we need to go take you out for a beer
sometime. So, uh, I hope we keep in contact. That sounds fantastic. I have been known to
have a beer sometimes out in public and, uh, for having me uh it's been super fun and uh
love what you guys are doing here all right appreciate it man see you guys later
you think i'm fucking with you i am not fucking with you
i'm i'm i'm not fucking with you Coffee's for closers only Coffee's for closers only
I'm Katja
I'm Sean
Bing bong