Circling Back - Conjoined Twins, Viral Tweets, and Bit Madness Elite 8
Episode Date: April 1, 2024Will went viral for a tweet originally penned by Dillon, we have a LOT of questions about the conjoined twins marriage, Bit Madness's Elite 8, Beyonce's version of "Jolene," honorary guests of The Dic...k Saloon, a new song for Recapping This Weekend in Fun, and a lot more. Enjoy a free one-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (12:00) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (28:02) Will Goes Viral (34:04) Questions We Have For The Conjoined Twins Marriage (47:30) Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene (52:00) I’d like to buy these cowboys a drink at The Dick Saloon (59:30) Bit Madness Elite 8 Support This Episode’s Sponsors Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) Rocket Money: www.rocketmoney.com/circling PrizePicks: www.prizepicks.com/steam (use code steam for a first deposit match up to $100!) TalkSpace: www.talkspace.com/circling ($80 off with code SPACE80) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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all right we're back circling back podcast washed media headquarters my name will to freeze
podcast washed media headquarters my name will to freeze dude on the left David Ruff hail Purdue we sing all hail hail hail to old Purdue all hail to our
gold and black hail hail to old purdy not how it goes to old Purdue hail hail
to Purdue our friendship may she never lack, either grateful, ever true.
They may go far from home,
but never far from old Purdue.
How did you know that?
Is that what it actually is?
Hard to say.
It's not.
I don't know the song.
I looked up the Purdue campus yesterday.
Have to say, pretty impressed.
Good looking campus, Randy.
Randy's a pretty campus.
Good-looking campus.
It looks like every college campus.
No, but it looks like your stereotypical college campus.
When you show up on campus, it's like, oh, shit, I'm in college.
What town is it?
West Lafayette.
No, come on, dude.
You're the college town guy.
Dylan Chivry, ladies and gentlemen.
Hey, guys.
Very happy to be here.
I am, however, sorry to say that the forecast for next Monday,
which is solar eclipse day, doesn't look great.
Yeah, dude.
We might not see the damn thing.
Kind of a bummer.
Yeah, there's a low pressure system that seems to be moving in our direction.
A lot of cloud cover expected and even some rain that day.
It's going to get dark still, you know,
because the sun's gonna get blocked by
the moon so obviously there's a workaround if you can charter a plane one of those ones that
flies real high potentially above the clouds okay yeah i'll try to a plane and just fly high
above saying you why don't you guys want to get on my flight to augusta georgia that day that would
be a great turn of events if Will got to see it.
That's not in the path, though, right?
No.
No.
I think there's a chance if I sit on the correct side of the plane that I'll get to see something kind of cool while we're taking off or something.
But I don't think I'll get some crazy effect on the plane.
We can head up Cleveland Way.
They're going to see it.
They're in the cone of curiosity?
Yes, they're right in the path of total darkness.
It's not total darkness, but you know what I'm saying.
The airport in Austin is right outside of the path of total darkness,
like right outside of it.
So I think based on where I'm flying to,
I don't think there's any way that I see total darkness.
Unless this forecast changes, Will, we're not going to see shit.
I'm sorry.
You got a week.
Things can change. You're week. Things can change.
You're right. Things can change.
Hey, the way the weathermen around here have been predicting stuff,
they might be wrong. I'd complain
about having two once-in-a-lifetime experiences
fall in my lap, and I'm not
happy that one of them is going to
maybe not transpire the way that we need it to.
We're just going to have to wait a couple hundred years. It's not a big deal.
Yeah. Or we can just travel in like 40 years.
Can I call out some backers in a,
in a tasteful way that won't make them stop listening?
Dave's tasteful call out of the week.
I'm calling them out for you.
Why?
There's been a couple backers too,
who've called in saying that Will going to the Tuesday practice round,
isn't really going to the masters.
And I have to say,
first of all, I'm not even going to, I shouldn't have brought it up, but I'm like, that is so wrong.
That's a bad take.
That is such a bad take.
I've gone on record saying I would rather go to practice days
than go to the actual tournament just because I'm more excited to see the course
and be able to walk around freely and honestly take photos
than I am to go to an actual day of the Masters.
You're saying because it's not actual tournament play, it doesn't count?
Correct.
That's dumb.
That's dumb.
I've always heard that you would rather go to –
Oh, no.
I get to go to the sparsely attended day.
Oh, no.
I get to have first –
The great thing about being there is being there.
It's not the actual golf.
Oh, yeah.
I mean the golf is obviously a huge part of it.
No, and if anyone thinks that I will –
I'd have
to put my mom on my shoulders in order for her to like see certain shots if we were there on a
thursday friday saturday or sunday that'd be that's not gonna be fun for her that would be
cute yeah i just don't know if that dismount's gonna go well for your boy yeah they that's a
bad take all right if any backers call out if any of these back yeah that was very tasteful dave
if any of these backers uh you know want to run up on me on that Tuesday round, please do.
Man, I can't wait to go.
One day I'm going to be walking around Augusta with a fat ass dip in.
Mm-hmm, brother.
You going to get any pimento cheese sandwiches, Will?
Yeah, I'm a little worried about what I'm going to eat.
Because there's so many good options, dude.
Everything, it just feels free. It's really great. you know your boy freaks with egg salad like crazy dude
your boy loves eggs i love egg salad dude yeah i almost made some tuna salad yesterday dude those
beers but instead i made purdue onions all day yesterday yeah he did dude why do you call him
no one has caramelized onions for longer than i caramelized onions for yesterday. What'd you do with them? I caramelized them.
Then what?
I ate them on a hot dog.
Really?
Yeah, dude.
That's sick.
Well, I saw a TikTok recently about how you're supposed to like caramelize onions
for like hours on end
instead of like doing it all like just quickly.
How you're supposed to just let it go.
So I was like, you know what?
I got the time.
I got this Purdue game on.
I got Zach Eady just taking care of brothers in the paint.
Just going off.
Can you explain for those at home?
I mean, I obviously know the difference, but like sauteing and caramelizing.
I don't know.
Do you know the difference?
Yep.
You cooked them, so you should know.
But your chef never reveals the secrets.
I saw that some people had like baking powder and stuff to them, but your boy just did a
bunch of butter and just let those natural oils just go to work.
So you were just sitting there and you just
threw those onions right on a big old dylan and ate it we're not doing that no one's calling him
a dylan what do you the hot dog sorry i was just using the slang that i hear often
if you guys want any i made too many so if you guys want me to bring in the gift of caramelized
onions i can do that for you.
You just have to request it.
I'm sure he's not going to say no.
We're talking an hour and a half.
I did about hour 45 minutes on these things.
Hour 45 on these.
The patience on this guy.
Dude, you should go on Top Chef.
Oh, man. Good show. Hey, producer week is finally over congratulations to everyone who made it through
hey i didn't think we're gonna get there i got a special announcement to start this week off are
you guys ready for this probably should have dedicated a whole segment to it but uh i currently
have 35 whole dollars in cole's cash's cash. Why does this matter?
I don't know.
I just want to let everyone know.
What does that have to do with anything we're talking about?
Randy, does it feel good?
You said Producer Week,
and I felt like I had the opportunity to tell everyone
that I had $35 in Kohl's cash.
Wanted to flex on the haters.
Does it feel good to be out of Producer Week?
Yes.
What was the darkest hour of Producer Week last week?
It was definitely the Monday show,
but the uploading the wrong audio.
Dylan text.
That has to be the worst time.
I caught that really early.
First morning, just right in the morning, the Reddit posts with a question mark.
I'm like, oh, my God, what happened?
Did I say something wrong?
Am I about to get canceled?
What's stupid is I went to that episode to see what was wrong,
and I didn't notice what was wrong because I didn't realize
that it was just a complete wrong episode.
I was like, that sounds good to me.
Randy, we'd like to give you the platform to dab on the haters.
Nice.
If you're watching at home, you just watch me dab.
It's cool, man.
All is good.
All is right.
That's really cool.
Yeah, producer week's over.
Thank God.
And Purdue week is on. See is right. That's really cool. Yeah, producer week's over. Thank God. And Purdue week is on.
See you Saturday in Phoenix.
I won't be there.
Unless.
Okay.
Yeah, we're not paying for that.
You should drive.
No, we got to meet you.
I just don't think we're going to send you the final four, my guy.
What about it?
Are you sure?
What?
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Yeah.
We just talked about it.
Here's the thing.
If you can acquire some tickets through, like, you know, a sponsor
or something, that sounds great.
Sounds great.
And flights.
There was a chance last year.
I went to a Final Four game once.
It wasn't very fun.
Mainly because Michigan got their ass kicked, but...
I don't do it.
You know what it is.
We got a loaded episode today.
I don't think we waste any time, my friends.
Tomorrow, exactly five minutes
beyond the paywall.
We have an episode,
an exquisitely produced episode.
It was really the highlight
of Producer Week last week
of Do You Know It,
a game show podcast
beyond the paywall as well.
Tune in to see who won last week's
888-618-4422
if you want to leave a voicemail.
That's 888-61-THICC. T-H-I-C-C. Isn't that right? Ohicemail. That's 888-61-thick.
T-H-I-C-C.
Isn't that right?
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
Is that right?
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah.
No one's doing that.
Yeah, you don't see that anywhere.
It's not newsletter week, but you should subscribe to a newsletter.
Wash.substack.com.
Wait, is it thick with two Cs?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Okay.
Just making sure.
It was intentional.
You can also watch all these episodes at youtube.com slash circling back.
They've been premiering on YouTube, so you can hop in the chat.
Most of the time, they do premiere naturally.
We're not on producer week anymore.
They will.
We're on producer week.
Sometimes that doesn't happen, but I think we can be better.
This week, Recapping This Weekend in Fun is presented by our friends over at Talkspace.
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I've been standing therapy for a long time now.
I'm a big therapy guy was so gen z you know your boy yeah but hey dude gen z is utilizing therapy more than anyone at this point it's a great thing you know sometimes people wait till something bad
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I think it's better for me in that vein
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Are you guys ready for the theme song?
Oh, shit.
Yeah, let's go.
Okay, so we are taking feedback.
We are taking feedback.
But this is Recap Me.
This weekend of fun.
Son of a bitch.
Hosting week continues.
I'm going to fade that out real tastefully.
Wrong one, folks.
Just kidding.
April Fool's.
April Fool's. Yeah, I'm on high alert today real tasteful wrong one folks. Just kidding April Fool's
Yeah, I'm on high alert today for Randy's hijinks he's not gonna he's not gonna get me I'm not a big prank guy. No you seem like you get the fuck arounds today. I don't like the prank
No, you're kind of giving wacky
I'm not a prank guy is exactly something a prank guy says that's's right. Here is our theme music.
Bro, let's go out this weekend.
There's a crazy event happening.
I like to turn up.
Bro, bro, bro, there's a crazy event happening.
Let's just go have fun and let go a little.
Little Wardrolls, let's go.
Dude, that's so stupid.
Dude, we hit him with the gloop.
Dylan, what'd you get into this weekend? That beat drop doesn't really deliver, but, we hit him with a gloop. Dylan, what'd you get into this weekend?
That beat drop doesn't really deliver, but it does hit you with some gloop.
Is it too gloopy?
Dude, that's a Travis Scott.
I don't know, man.
There are some naysayers out there saying that it's just too gloopy.
Anyway, thank you for asking, Will.
I had a pretty excellent little weekend, actually.
I hosted a sleepover at the crib.
Parks and his buddy had a sleepover thursday great time we uh got a nice long bike ride off on
the trail wouldn't got some ice cream they played some video games it was a good time man any solo
dubs for the squad i don't i don't know if a dub was had or not did you try to play like cool dad
and be like and like drop some lingo about fortnite so they'd know that you're like a real one you're a real gamer no no ordered them
some za though they played their za cards i didn't i swear from i sat out dominoes let them choose
you ordered zon didn't even indulge is it because you had previously played your card or what's the
problem here that was just on my health if it's on your credit card did you technically play your za card no i didn't need it they need it you know if you paid for the za and you were within proximity of the za
there are some scholars who believe you played your za card just because you didn't have the
take your ass to pizza court ruling it's not not settled. Friday, took the little guy.
We went with his mom and his soon-to-be stepdad,
and we went to go see the new Godzilla movie at Alamo Draft House.
It's getting great reviews.
Just a wild-ass movie, man.
A lot of action.
No spoilers.
A lot of action.
Here's one spoiler.
A city got destroyed again in one of these movies.
They just can't stop destroying these massive cities.
Was it Des Moines?
No.
Fuck, thank God.
It wasn't Des Moines.
We were wondering.
Saturday, stepped out a little bit and went to a brewery slash winery in Spicewood.
Awesome.
Called Front Yard Brewing.
Okay.
It was a total vibe.
Is there a garage brewing anywhere?
Yeah.
Southwest Austin.
Come through.
Dave's way.
This place was cool, man.
Super cool.
Oh, yeah?
How many beers did you have?
I had a flight
and then one really tall
Kolsch.
Very good beer.
I think I like Kolschs.
Yeah, it's a lager.
A little light golden lager.
It's a log is what it is.
And yeah, Sunday, just chill.
Hit the trail, man.
Clean up a little bit.
Good times.
Good weekend.
That's it.
That's it.
Did you have a happy Easter?
I had a happy Easter.
Yeah, I didn't do much for Easter.
Parks,
I think Parks has outgrown
the egg hunting situation.
Eh,
as one does.
And so we just didn't,
we didn't do much.
Should you tell them
the Easter bunny's not real?
Sorry for anyone listening
with their kids right now.
He knows.
Once he found out Santa wasn't real,
I think he put it all together
that it's all just a big show.
That there's not a rabbit
that lays eggs?
With candy in them?
Yeah.
No.
Seems kind of weird
anyway we're just ruining randy's day dave i yield my time to you this april fool's joke right
yeah we got yeah don't worry it's all it's all an elaborate april fool's joke you're fine you're fine
let's see here um oh man here's where i get to talk about the drive, the Thursday afternoon drive from Austin to Duncanville, Texas.
Normally about a three-ish hour jaunt.
We left at a bad time because we had to go to Rhodes School for the Easter egg hunt.
Had to watch them find eggs.
A lot of fun.
Got out of there at four. In the car, just me,
my son, and my dog. And we stopped at Chick-fil-A, get him some nugs to tide him over for the ride.
Knew there was going to be traffic as it was 4.30 in Austin on Thursday and going northbound. About an hour to get to North Austin.
Fun.
Yeah, yeah.
I would have just maybe set up shop.
Yeah, well, just hold on.
Got going, got through Round Rock.
It was kind of moving pretty well.
Then I gave the tablet with some paw patrol loaded up on it back to
to roads to tide them over he's getting a little he says tell me he's getting a little nauseous i
was like oh no okay so we pulled over in salado you familiar salado cool main street by the way
i have never been through there but they got a cool little thing there but i'll slate away that's my first time got out nice area let them uh you're not familiar with it
seriously it's yeah it's no i don't i haven't been there i'll get you out so late already you've been
i can get you out there i can get you out there i got some guys out there okay okay nice area
that's great good main street yep get back in the car i thought we were good he
tells me his tum tum still hurts i was like okay i'll pull over again now next thing you know he um
it's ria time he projectile bombed oh no no no in temple you familiar temple texas
temple way nice area good main street good main street uh timely timely vom because there is in Temple. You familiar with Temple, Texas? Ooh, out Temple way. Nice area. Good Main Street.
Good Main Street.
Timely vom because there is a Bucky's.
There is a Bucky's in Temple
where I pulled into
and I cleaned up
and I went inside with him
and I spent $40 on
clothes. New clothes for the
man. At least he came out dripping, though.
He came out dripping in the bright red Bucky sweats and the Bucky t-shirt.
Dude, honestly worth it.
He might do this every time just to get a new fit on his way to Dallas.
And let me tell you.
His plan worked.
He wanted to wear this fit the entire time.
Dude, I get it.
That goes hard.
That's swag.
I get it.
Yeah. So out back on 35, I get it. That goes hard. That's why. I get it. Yeah.
So,
out back on 35,
he felt good.
He,
look,
everybody knows after one good puke,
you feel,
you rally.
You just get the,
everything starts firing.
He's a rough.
The vibes,
yeah,
you know what we do.
You remember that time I puked.
Remember that?
You're a big puker.
You laced my shit.
Yeah, sorry.
It was Fred.
Fuck, it was Fred.
Oh, did you Tom Tom hook?
Oh, did you put the drugs in your food?
Oh, you can't handle it?
You can't handle a little drug in your drink, in your pink panty drop, a punch?
You pump my stomach?
It was before Obamacare was uninsured?
After that, got northbound on 35.
Pledge voice goes through today.
Just know that.
Remember when Willie Nelson, you're familiar.
He's from Abbott, Texas.
A lot of people don't know that.
Abbott, Texas.
Home of Willie Nelson.
Also home of the We're Gonna Put It to One Lane.
So another 35 minutes.
Five-hour trip to Duncanville.
Fuck that, dude.
You're a trooper, man.
Congrats to you.
You're my dad of the week.
Thank you. Thank you. Can you say daddy ofats to you you're my dad of the week thank you thank you can you say daddy of the week you're my daddy of the week my zaddy of the week okay if you're
gonna be my daddy of the week then dylan can be my dad of the week how's that that work that's fair
after that went to bed uh some fuck very cool um, got in in time to see, um, my dad had recorded the, uh, Rangers game, the
Ranger game.
It was paused.
Got to watch the, uh, Jonah Heim walk off, which was very cool.
Woke up, got about five hours sleep.
He was sharing a bed with the roads, man.
First time we, he slept in like the big boy bed and he did not sleep. He woke up at one point,
like not knowing where it was and woke me up. I was like, ah, you know, it was very disorienting.
Got up and played golf. It was the windiest day of the year. Didn't go well, but we had a great
time. We had a great time. Um, and then Friday night, uh, the wife and I, she got in town that
morning, um, went to a restaurant.
I'm going to shout them out because I had one of the best meals I've had,
just all-around experience, atmosphere food.
The Charles Design District, Dallas, Texas.
Great spot.
Great food.
Had the short rib.
Had a number of things.
The waiter was great.
They have a speakeasy in the back.
Ooh.
And met some friends there from law school. out michelle shout out matt uh and his wife it was a great time
just had a drink i'm a big fan of the wagyu ravioli and the lumache there dude we had both
even the prime short rib with tuxkin potatoes and the malta pucciano like that's usually just
my standard order there it was really good it was really really good and i highly recommend it that's a cool area and then saturday we did
we did our easter saturday and uh you know did some easter egg hiding and hunting and whatnot
it was just a fun time it was a it was a good good weekend 20s in those eggs or anything? We did crypto.
Nice. Yeah.
So just little thumb drives.
And then I went out back and smoked some crypto,
Dylan. Nice.
Randy needs to stop. You guys, stop sharing your
crypto with Randy, dude.
Sorry, man. It's producer week.
It's fuck around week.
I was smoking crypto with my buddy Adderall.
I got paper hands and I'm rolling that crypto you know i'm sorry you need to relax don't stand your paper hands dude not a good look i'm gonna hand it off to you
brett and i went to las vegas nevada on uh thursday where we uh stayed at the fountain blue
casino and hotel uh it's the best smelling casino and hotel in las vegas currently going where we stayed at the Fontainebleau Casino and Hotel.
It's the best smelling casino and hotel in Las Vegas currently going.
That's a big plus for me.
Yep.
They typically don't smell great.
Yep.
Yep.
We had some meetings and enjoyed ourselves.
We had the task of exploring some of their restaurants and bars,
which, you know, I woke up feeling a little dusty on Friday morning. But luckily with that time change, I woke up around 6 a.m.
and got to shake it all off by about 8 a.m.
It was a good time.
Brett, there are times that you get humbled
and you need to remember that you can't drink with Brett.
Like he's got it.
He can drink every night and feel totally fine the next day.
I tried to keep up with him. got a bottle of barolo at dinner and uh i just i learned i can't
keep up with brett we lost a few dollars at the tables shout out the clemson tigers though they
did win us some money dude a good hotel has a good signature smell you know oh it was great
mandalay bay smells like suntan lotion oh see that i freak with that it's awesome i'm awesome. I'm used to the Cosmo where it just smells like that bartender all the time.
Right.
Speaking of which.
Just because a tragedy happened there, Dave, you can still mention it.
What the fuck are you talking about?
I saw your little face you made.
I was talking about the other thing, the bartender.
Weren't you saying you wanted to go to San Tropez and see a brother play a mandalay?
Ooh, wasn't that?
That's a Diddy lyric.
Ooh, yeah, no Diddy.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, dude.
I did read some of these 75-page report on the plane,
and I have to say.
Not great?
It's not great.
Yeah, I draw the line at honeypot blackmail schemes.
Yeah.
To implicate higher-ups.
I just, if I'm Diddydy i'm probably going to try to avoid
the history of uh recording people uh in my home partying with like underage people and stuff like
that's just not a good look overall for several different reasons yeah and i've never felt better
to be more of a tupac guy i was more of a west side guy i was too i was too i was i was throwing
up west side i was claiming West Side.
Really?
Those are different eras, though, really.
They really weren't.
There's some overlap, sure.
There's a very famous beef.
Yeah, but Diddy was just producing back in those days.
No, he was tinkering.
But he was all in the video.
He was tinkering with it.
Okay.
He was collecting all the money from Biggie at that point.
When I think of those artists, I think that he was a next-gen rapper.
No, no.
Biggie was tinkering.
Biggie, yeah.
I'm sorry.
Diddy was tinkering.
He was manipulating that whole situation.
That's true.
Okay.
But why?
But why?
But why?
So, yeah, I took a flight home Friday.
Got home real late.
Didn't feel great.
Went to bed around 3 a.m. that night.
Woke up.
Got thrown straight into potty training with the little man.
It's going overall well, but it has its pain points.
Not the best situation in front of you.
But you know your boys just out here just grilling and caramelizing onions like crazy.
Boy, are you.
Just crazy, dude.
So if anyone needs a plug just holler
just holler so when you caramelize something like what exactly are you doing
you're caramelizing it okay yeah like i haven't done this what caramelize you're caramelizing
okay i don't know what to do with all these onions though dude i got too many
a lot of onions it's a lot of onions and yeah last night i fell asleep watching my favorite
television show currently going next level chef gordon ramsay a dude named blaze
okay yeah dude have you seen the um austin hot dog vendors that pop up outside of like uh moody
and on sixth street that just
have like the little griddle but they they do the onions and they're right there and they got the
big sausage the brats and they smell so good no but i'd freak with it i used to be a major uh
sixth street play back when i was in my my my bar phase they smell so good oh get some curry sauce
on there some caramelized onions. It is heartburn central.
It's delicious.
It'll fuck your dope up.
It's delish.
That's why I only smoke crypto.
But yeah, good weekend overall.
Good weekend overall.
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What I didn't get to talk about during my weekend and fun is that my notifications
were just going off because your boy had a hit tweet i saw that tweet that's a good tweet was
a good tweet right it's a good tweet you know sometimes you just you tweet something you just
know you have it you just you see some early action on you're like wow this has the juice today
and it was just one of those moments for me. You know, I sat on the plane just refreshing Twitter constantly.
Did you see my tweet?
I saw it.
I saw it about 10 hours old.
So it probably had a lot of numbers attached to it by that point, you know?
Yeah.
It was certified micro when I saw it.
Randy, do we have the tweets?
Do we have a tweet that we can see so we can reference this?
I know a lot of people probably don't know what I'm talking about since it's an original tweet from your boy.
I can't believe what happened here.
Dude, this is good.
It's a good tweet, honestly.
It's a really good tweet.
It's a good tweet.
Yeah.
Do you want me to read the tweet?
Yeah.
Okay.
So this is a personal experience that I had with my son.
I said, my son, Seven, has discovered Dee's nuts jokes, and it's all he says now.
Everything is Dee's nuts. He simply can't stop. I asked him where he heard the joke.
He made me promise that if he told me, he wouldn't get in trouble. I agreed. So he leans in and
whispers, Deez Nuts. Dude, what? Dude, I was losing it when it happened to me. I was just
losing it. That's so good. Your son, Seven, who's three, that's advanced humor for a three-year-old.
No, I know. Yeah. For a three-year-old, that's crazy. That's crazy. That's advanced humor for a three-year-old. No, I know.
Yeah, for a three-year-old, that's crazy.
That's crazy.
That's crazy, man.
Yeah, dude.
It's only done like what?
How many retweets, Randy?
That is 18,000 retweets.
Over a quarter million likes on that thing?
Yeah, 288.
I don't even know what to say at this point.
I kind of feel bad. you shouldn't i feel like i feel like this weird guilt that like i've i've completely stolen clout and retweets and likes
from you well as as the uh the original author of said tweet i think it's funny when you guys do it
honestly and the fact that it went viral almost almost two years later from a different account word for word
yeah it adds it adds like lore to the tweet almost for me bill and uh you know that you know that
random chair in the hotel room they're like people don't really know why it's there you know what
it's called you know that's kind of where you're sitting watching this tweet right now no i i really
do think it's funny like it doesn't bother me at all.
There are so many people that respond being like, this is plagiarized.
The amount of people that are angry at me and talking shit to me, I'm like, okay.
People are tagging me being like, hey, this guy stole your tweet.
I'm like, what?
Randy.
So I'm seeing there's another version of this tweet.
Can you put it up next to it?
Yeah.
Because I want to compare because I have not seen that tweet. And I just want
to compare and contrast. Uh-oh, Randy.
You're going to get it, man. I'm just going to do it. That's fine.
I was trying to. So this is from you.
Yeah. Oh, this is a good tweet, Dylan.
It's like word for word, the same
tweet. It's a good tweet from you.
Did this happen to you, too?
The thing I'm immediately noticing,
Will's
just has a little bit more stank on it.
Really? I drizzled some stank sauce
on it. Which part in particular
has the stank?
There's something about the tone of Will's.
It's just a little bit more relatable.
Like, okay.
Yours is like, that's a good tweet, but Will's is like,
yep.
I can totally see this.
54,000 retweets. That's that's a crazy if you combine our numbers
dude like we're doing straight up numbers together so you can't see who had more impressions we don't
know no you can't see dylan's views on his tweets unfortunately look how many years how many times
yours was bookmarked compared to mine well here's the thing i have a theory that elon is bumping the
numbers a little bit or i have a theory that elon is bumping the numbers a little bit or i have
a theory that elon's algorithm is different from them when you had it and it like shoots any viral
tweet into the stratosphere whereas like when you when you first tweeted yours i think that like it
was displayed to people but not in the same manner that mine was i think the algorithm helped me more
than it helped you okay um i don't know how to check analytics anymore since they changed the shit.
It doesn't show up for me anymore.
Well, I think since they changed everything, you can't see everything behind your tweet.
Because I guarantee yours did more views than me based on what you did.
Last time I checked, it had around 25 million impressions.
That's insane.
That's more than mine.
I think I had like eight and a half million or
something okay yeah but that that's this tweet has so much juice it's unbelievable i'm getting
featured in like articles of like the 19 best tweets from the weekend are you really yes and
i'm like guys i i want to respond to these authors and be like guys this hey you're missing the bit
here it would be a real shame if our listeners picked one of these two tweets to uh community note i so yeah i was
kind of waiting i was kind of waiting for mine to get community noted and it never happened could
somebody please i don't know how you go about making that happen i saw another tweet this
weekend that was community noted saying this is not an original tweet someone and i was like this
should be happening to me right now i want to get community noted at some usually when people steal
tweets they will change
a few words here and there so it's not a straight copy paste situation yours is just straight up
like so obviously ripped so many people have ripped this tweet though if you just search your
tweet so many people that aren't wash media jason have just ripped the tweet before
don't you should be proud of uh your intellectual property spreading so much joy well you you ripped it on june uh i rip it all the time you yeah i know but what it's just funny
that this one is but every time i tweeted it does numbers like it does good numbers and it shouldn't
it shouldn't do that good in numbers for your boy oh man a lot of people did steal this shit
yeah i'm seeing it now yeah dylan they, they're clout chasing you, dude. These little fuckers, man.
Well, Dylan, thank you for letting me go viral using your material.
I did gain about 300 Twitter followers
from this. No shit? For like the first time
ever. So I'm legitimately riding
your coattails to clout. I get a kick out of it.
I really do. It doesn't bother me.
So I don't need to feel bad about it? No, not at all.
Like I said, it adds lore to
the whole situation.
You have another tweet that I've really been thinking about a lot since you tweeted it
earlier this or last week.
Yes.
It was about the conjoined twins who married the gentleman.
I don't know where he's from or where they're from.
But what was your tweet?
You just simply had a lot of questions.
I said I have infinity questions.
Never ending.
When I first saw your tweet, I had some questions.
And then the more that i sat
there and thought about it and thought about it and thought about it the more that i was just like
okay i officially have infinity questions as well yeah the more questions i started to have about it
the more just started rising up he's a lucky man a lot a lot of the questions that pop into my head
are like sexual yeah sexual let's just get out ahead of it i got a lot of sexual questions oh yeah it's because you can't so he's married to just one of them but is that is that semantics
because like you cannot be married to two people at once and they have two different social security
numbers but you're having sex with both of them okay yeah yeah you definitely are right yeah you
definitely are you can't one of them you can't just decide to set out but i think in order for
you to get married to this guy both of you have to be in love with him, right?
Yeah, I would think so.
I would definitely think so.
This dude's low-key getting a fit off.
Dude, he's just vibing out here.
I've been told that they have the same organs
from the waist down.
Right.
Jeez.
They have two hearts?
Not like, I'm not talking like emotionally,
like physically they have two hearts in their chest. I don't i have questions about the stomach do they have one stomach does one
does one of them have to eat do they don't so here's a question for you if they let's say they
go to b-dubs one night and one of them's like i'm not really feeling anything spicy and their one's
like i want the spiciest wings you've got are they like sitting on the toilet two hours later
looking at each other like fuck you why'd you put me through this like why am i going through this now what if one of them is just
a freak freak the other one is like a goody goody different brains you know what i mean dave
randy no do they get horny at the same time what if it's a this is a song about a girl who
do they get horny at the same time i don't't know. They have two brains, so I think the horniness is...
They both got to be in the mood.
There's a real juxto play here.
But they share a vagina.
You know what I mean?
That makes me think they might get horny at the same time.
Do you think when they go into the kitchen and grab a cup,
he just kind of laughs?
David.
How was that the one that...
I doubt it.
I doubt it.
He's probably over there.
All right, all right.
They had a show, so I feel like the answer...
I want to know who controls the body.
Do they both have one side of the...
Netflix or someone streaming needs to get the show on there immediately
because it would be the number one show going right now
if it's on their platform.
I think they each have one breast. Okay, so yeah, if they had four, that would be the number one show going right now if it's on their platform i think they each have one breast okay so yeah if they had four that would be wild
for him they each have a breast so is he only allowed to touch his wives when they're having
dude i guarantee i can't okay i can't guarantee this is he having an affair but she's married to
both of them right they're both in love with them right gotta be what you can't one of them can't
just hate the guy it's not gonna work because she's always there but does he you need full team buy-in does he have a separate relationship with each one
i don't think you can when they're always around but no i mean like
can you imagine being in an argument with your wife oh man and have her having numbers on you
the entire time like getting it from the sister like dude you're just getting you're just getting undressed by both of them
he tells his wife that he loves her does he also tell the other one that he loves her i think so
i think so does he kiss both he's got a kiss triple kiss remember the triple kiss who do
you kiss first when you say i do and you're allowed to kiss your brother he's only married
to one i know but i think i brother? He's only married to one.
I know, but I think I still think that's semantics.
The one on the left is who he's married to.
Our left or their left?
Why didn't they – they should have done the photo from the other way.
He should be on the other side, closest to the one because now it's just confusing.
Well, it's her arms around him though, you know?
So that – I don't know.
I don't know.
It's a fair point.
I mean, look.
Do you think one of them has ever just gotten hammered and the other one just like rides the effects of it oh yeah you can't only you can't
have just one one of them getting drunk if you're at a cocktail party share a bloodstream if you're
at a cocktail party do you each have a drink or do you do you have one drink for each of you
again infinity questions i will never not i will never know enough about we haven't even gotten
into the criminal justice system like what if one of one of them had too much to drink she's like i'm fucking driving like no
you're not oh you're dry okay and then they they both got deweys on the wreck yeah well again one
bloodstream like they're both drunk what if one of them gets popped for dealing fent
and they both got to go to the clean they both doing three years they're doing three on a five
other ones like i didn't do shit what if one of them's burning doja they're both getting
hella high what about what if they're smoking that crypto well then we got some problems
i had so many questions and then one of them got married and i have just so many more
i think they actually have spoken publicly about like how they have sex.
Like it's,
they did an interview somewhere and they,
they got into it a little bit.
I haven't read,
I haven't read said interview or listened to it.
They're teachers.
Yes.
Or they're a teacher.
They have one salary.
They're teachers.
They both teach,
but they,
again,
one salary.
Could they have been more savvy with.
The career choice.
Their career choice so that they can make sure to get two salaries.
I feel like they're really leaving some money on the table here.
You can't go to two different jobs, though.
If you have a kid in their class, you're like, oh, we're getting some supreme service right now.
Our kid's learning from two people at once.
But then your kid's looking at a two-headed teacher and it's like, what's it going to do to my kid?
No, I think that normalizes some –
I feel like you shouldn't say that.
Yeah, like I feel like –
Is that offensive?
That felt like...
Yeah.
They probably don't want to be referred to as the two-headed...
I apologize.
I'm just...
I'm going through this myself.
No, I get it.
I get it.
I get it.
No, that's why we like you, man.
It's an interesting, like, thought process to go down because it makes you question some
things about just life in general.
Didn't mean to offend anyone out there who might have two heads or if you are just how
common is it to live like this like there aren't that many cases of this right no this is a very
rare situation this or octo mom she just had eight kids at once i know it's still pretty wild though
actually had six kids at once and then she had two other ones normally she went octo though she did go octo should we have like a different tier on patreon for the octo backers
dude my man's going dose on him you want a little stat here it's very rare and since about one in
200,000 live births which means that on average there may only be a few dozen cases of conjoined
twins born worldwide each year.
Is it genetic?
I have no clue.
I don't think so.
I think it's just more of how they're grown in the uterus.
I don't think it's like a genetic marker or anything.
But I could be completely wrong.
I have some morbid questions, too.
Like, what if one of them died?
Yeah, I don't know the logistics behind the well-being moving i think i feel like it would get really depressing to go down that road
like really depressing i hope they're happy i think they are they just got married dude
hope they're happy and live a fulfilling happy life i want them to sit down and do an interview
get them on Call Her Daddy.
I'll be in the daddy gang.
I would listen to that.
I would absolutely listen to it.
I'll hop in the daddy gang for that shit.
Dude, I think that's the perfect podcast for them.
I want the orange man to interview them.
I think he'd have certain questions.
I don't think that would go well.
I think he might be really offensive.
Do they get two votes?
Two what?
Two votes.
I would assume so since they each have Social Security numbers.
They do?
I think so.
That's what I was told at least.
So they each pay taxes separately?
If they have one income. If you're on one salary, wouldn't you just – I think you would assign that to one of you.
Double theft.
Yeah.
That would be taxation without representation.
It wouldn't be.
Who would handle this better, the current Presidente or the former Presidente?
The old man or the orange man?
Amen.
Two heads, huh?
Wow.
Hey, Lucky.
He's a lucky man.
Oh. This guy's got his hands full
That's what he would say
That's a lot
Yeah
That's what he would say
Okay
These questions
They're not gonna get answered
I don't think
It's too personal you know
Who
What if Larry King interviewed them?
Suspenders
Yeah
Dude Larry King is the? Suspenders. Yeah.
Dude, Larry King is the goaded fit interviewer.
Just rocking suspenders.
Signature look, man.
It's a great look.
Is he still with us?
Don't think so.
Is Barbara Walters still with us? No, she died.
All right, we got to get Oprah.
Either Oprah or Alex Cooper.
I don't care which one.
He's alive.
I don't care which one, dude. alive i don't care which one dude larry king's still alive good for him i'm i'm impressed i think barbara walters
might have passed wait larry king he's alive right i'm seeing died yeah dave he died in 2021
fucking a i guess we'll have to get Carson Daly. Or Tucker Carlson.
Or Tucker.
What?
Carson Daly's really carved himself a nice little niche here.
He's still doing his thing, man.
He's on the morning show, the Today Show or something.
Oh, yes.
He's not bad.
Same with our new weather guy, right?
Or with our Austin weather guy.
His pants could be tailored better.
Whoever mentioned his fit.
He's got a lot on his plate right now, Dylan. Maybe don't criticize his pants could be tailored better whoever mentioned his fit he's got he's got he's got
a lot on his plate right now dylan maybe don't criticize his pants if i had to assume i think
killing it they're tailoring budgets probably going more towards their clothes than his
oh way to go down that's a fair point yeah he's got a lot on his plate yep big neck hole
double the shirts big neck hole on the shirts three din Big neck hole. On the shirts. Three dinners.
Is that like a big Johnson shirt?
Big neck hole.
I wonder if they, when they eat, they each eat like half a meal and they get full as
if they're eating a full meal.
The eating thing for me is like one of, it's the biggest source of questions for me.
If one's like, if one is craving something, does the other one like need to like offset
that and make sure she's eating a bunch of stuff too, just to make sure that they're not getting full off does the other one need to offset that
and make sure she's eating a bunch of stuff too
just to make sure they're not getting full off what the other one wants
what if one of them just never eats
and one of them eats for both of them
maybe that's the case
what if one of them
orders pizza
okay
I'm listening
but the other does not
does that count Okay. I'm listening. The other does not.
Does that count?
That's a loophole in the system.
I haven't thought about that.
It's a loophole.
Pizza court's going to have to take this case on.
The court's never seen a case like this.
Can somebody do a The People's Court song, but instead of The People's Court, it's The Pizza Court.
It's not real creative, but it could be funny.'s something there this is the pizza court that's really something there
that's really dumb well i think i think no matter what we can say that this gentleman here he picked
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Did you see that under fucking shit he did yesterday?
I did see that. A little finger roll from the
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We're not doing that. He's different.
He's different.
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Y'all cop this new Beyonce?
I've listened to a few Johns.
A few joints.
Okay.
All right.
It's good.
It's good.
I've listened to the singles.
I've been waiting to have a drive where I can listen to this album uninterrupted.
I probably should have done it on my flight home.
But I'm liking what I'm hearing so far.
Yeah, I found a tweet, and I read some comments,
and then I saw that this was actually getting a lot of steam on social media.
A lot of people – okay, so back up a bit beyonce covered
dolly parton's jolene very famous very popular song i'm sure you guys are aware of jolene but
didn't she cover it from miley cyrus miley cyrus has done numerous covers of it as well you get to
hear it like every year new year's eve or something yeah it's a good song it it appears however do
we have a jolene disrespecter in the building kind of a miley kind of great it's just she's
finally didn't ruin it dude she's great so a lot of people of the younger generation
a lot of young folks are unaware that jolene is a dolly parton song okay they think it's a
beyonce song uh i don't know who do you know who azalea banks is
i know who she is but like i'm not i'm not totally familiar with her game i'm not familiar with her
either brandy she had this to say who is this imaginary adversary that she thinks still wants
to be involved with jay-z in 2024 she needs to change the subject nobody and i mean nobody finds
him attractive jay-z is getting dragged all over the TL for being ugly.
That's not nice.
Simply because his wife covered an old Dolly Parton song.
And that's unfortunate, too, because he should be getting dragged on the timeline for being so close with Diddy instead.
But instead, he's just getting his looks talked down on.
Have you seen the video of Diddy making the speech?
Where he's just kind of looking around.
the video of him did he making the speech where he's just kind of looking around people are like dude i think this album coming out was the best thing to happen to jay-z during this this portion
of his life everyone is just making fun of how ugly the man is it's tough all right it's it's
like you guys not know the history he's never been famous because he's a model we know that
he's not he's not a handsome fella but a a very talented musician. But he's got good style.
Yeah.
I don't give people credit for having good style when they're a billionaire.
It's like, how do you not have good style at that point?
True.
Wow.
Azalea Banks is currently feuding with Cardi B, Nicki Minaj, Iggy, Azalea, T.I., and Erykah Badu.
I like that.
I like that.
And Beyonce now, too, apparently.
Beyonce's got an op.
She's just going to hit next.
Coming after Beyonce's hubby. But everyone in the comments is just like, yeah, Beyonce now too apparently because she's coming. She's just going to hit next. Coming after Beyonce's hubby.
But everyone in the comments is just like, yeah, I don't know what she's talking about.
No one wants this guy.
It's tough, dude.
Come on.
It's tough.
I hope Sally never covers Jolene.
How do you not know that?
Brett can probably make it happen actually out there.
Oh, yeah.
That's true.
Yeah.
AI Brett can just get some song made in five seconds.
Everyone's saying that she low-key spilled with this comment.
It's a new one for me.
She spilled low-key though.
All right.
Do you guys know what camp means?
No.
I didn't know what camp meant until this weekend.
I had to do a bunch of Twitter research on it.
What is it?
It's a term used.
I think it's primarily used by women from what I can tell based on the context of what I was reading.
And you would say something is quote unquote camp.
Oh, that's camp.
Is that eccentric over the top?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Apparently it is, David.
Out of the ordinary, unexpected.
I'm way too cautious to use it in casual conversation at this point.
But if it gets used, if it gets used in the future, just know that circling back podcast gave you some sort of idea what it might mean someone said uh in
response to azalea bank's comments um she kind of does she kind of eat that a little is she
mothering dude mothering she's mothering right now what's that you don't know what mothering is
no oh come on the concept of mother i think it just means you're like you don't know what mothering is no oh come on the concept of mother i think it
just means you're like i don't know like they call like they'll call beyonce like well like
i don't know okay if you say beyonce's mother it just means like oh she's like
killing it goat status right now okay right fair enough yeah not like uh glenn danzig mother like
a different type people are
bringing up how he cheated on her he knows what you're talking about people are bringing up how
he cheated on her too well yeah okay yeah beyonce's sister hit him in that elevator right this song is
decades old i feel like beyonce's sister got some blowback for hitting him in that elevator but i
think he deserved it by the way do we even know what that was about the cover was i think he
cheated on her the jolene cover was decent, by the way. I have not listened.
I only know the Texas Hold'em.
She adds her own stink to it.
So I was going to buy this on vinyl
because Sally really likes the album.
So I was going to do that.
Apparently it's missing tracks on vinyl.
Why?
I don't know.
And Sally's favorite song is apparently
not on some of these recordings.
And so I just hesitate to do it.
That's too bad.
She's a big spaghetti fan.
Beyonce.
Beyonce spaghetti.
I like spaghetti.
Spaghetti Western.
Sure.
I like spaghetti too.
When I leave here to go home for lunch,
I'm going to spin this.
Spin it, Dave.
Spinny boy.
Can we briefly talk about some gentlemen
from the Dick's Saloon,
or that I would like to welcome to the Dick's Saloon?
They had a drink on me. Berry Hilllahoma you guys familiar no out berry hill way
two escaped cows have been causing big problems in oklahoma uh a woman's property it's been uh
getting terrorized by these guys for two years now the cows first got loose after a trailer
accident in 2022 i hate to see that this song's about a trailer
accident sorry no don't if anything i would like you to keep going uh the two cows were finally
caught after cowboys and their dogs chased them for 20 miles why i don't understand how it can
take two years to catch a couple cattle i need some real cowboys up there oh i think these boys
are some real cowboys two years two years brother I think these boys are some real cowboys.
Two years?
Two years, brother.
They were on the lam for two years.
Did they use bloodhounds to track these fuckers?
It said after multiple attempts by sheriff's deputies to wrangle the cows in Brenda Stapleton's yard and neighborhood,
authorities told her she was going to have to hire professional cowboys.
Oh, bro, did you say Stapleton?
She said, who's got money for that?
And it shouldn't be my responsibility to do that.
Well, they hired two dudes and they just went off i feel like the state should have like their uh ag commission or
something there should be someone should get these fucking cows she shouldn't have to like go hire
people privately i want to put out a nice little warning to these two cowboys come wrangle down at
the dick saloon anytime you want brother hey. Hey, first shot's on us.
Second shot's on us, too.
Third and fourth.
Those are on you.
Big surprise.
Those are on you, and we're drinking them off of you.
Wow.
What?
Some service.
You're not trying to make good on these Cowboys?
Can't believe it didn't make the bracket take it back take me back to the dick saloon
i've actually never been to dick saloon that's a great this is a great sentence
so he called stapleton to help along with three dogs and three cowboys like clue anderson
clue anderson is this fucking cowboys named clue anderson were you aware of this clue anderson clue anderson is this fucking cowboy's name clue anderson were you aware of this
clue anderson dude old clue old clue yeah this is a song about old clue
yep he's the meanest son of a bitch you met but he can wrangle
he said after they left some feet out and the dogs tracked the cow's scent
and the cowboys tracked the dog's collars
so they got the dogs to get the scent and then they found that this i like this that's sick i
like this i don't think our dogs are finding these cows what kind of dog dogs the collars
chased the collars show that they chased him for 19 miles dude bloodhounds are sick if there's a
blood that's so long dude i met a gang of them one time.
Is that when you had that fire?
Wasn't, like, the roof on fire?
You and me, baby, ain't nothing but mammals.
You and me, baby.
I didn't like when that was number one on TRL, Dave.
It bummed me out the entire time.
Because it stinks?
Is that why?
Maybe.
It didn't accurately represent their body of work.
I didn't like when there was a bit song that was going number one on TRL.
I didn't either.
Jolie.
Remember Together?
Do you remember that?
Give me a hint.
The MTV had a fake sitcom, essentially, about a fake boy band.
And they started getting really popular on MTV
and they were getting voted to like the number one spot on TRL.
Oh.
We're together, you and me forever.
Yeah.
Come on.
You know what I'm talking about?
It was like 2002.
Say it, don't spray it.
I want the news.
Not the weather.
Not the weather.
Randy, can you pull up that tweet?
I forgot about this
Dude, my viral tweet from the weekend?
This is a different viral tweet
I bet this did as well as yours
But for all the wrong reasons
Oh God, this tweet was bad
This was bad
Why is he doing this?
Dylan, your boy Senator John Cornyn
In the great state of Texas
You familiar with him? Why is he okay with doing this? Noted Rhino john cornyn in the great state of texas you
familiar with him why is he okay with doing this noted rhino this is the second time he's done
this right look don't put your brisket on the tl unless you're you're for sure that it's just
absolute gas oh maybe he did do it the first i think he did it another time just begging to get
dunked on but this is some of the worst looking brisket like is he doing it is he doing a self
wear bit or is this how he eats no this is giving bit but man oh man do you think it tastes good it looks like shit you put enough
sauce on it you it can be edible this looks like brisket that you'd get like a cafeteria
yeah you're right like if it was barbecue day in harper springs high school like this is what i
would expect it to look like this is giving mcrib this looks like it was it was from an oven not smoked there's a world where i think this tastes good
but i don't think it tastes like good brisket this is definitely not smoked it's not smoked right
uh no did they pre-cut it and put it in the oven with barbecue sauce instead of baking dish maybe
that's he just baked it in that he sliced it just baking it dude i love slow baking a brisket
nothing makes me feel better like what are you
doing you just didn't have to post this i mean i'm eating this over lincoln riley's brisket you
lose voters over this kind of stuff he's getting primaried why would he do this and he's he's a
he's from texas yeah would this end would this end biden's campaign for re-election if he put up a brisket shot like this yeah no no yeah i don't think the people that
really care about brisket really are voting i don't know man i think he could lose look
he could lose some rust belt he could he'd definitely lose pennsylvania
i'm just saying this isn't good you don't have to do maybe he'd gain voters i mean trump
trump had a happy Cinco de Mayo tweet
where he talks about how the best taco bowls
are made from the Trump Tower Grill.
I love Hispanics, he says.
Exclamation point.
He loves Italians.
He loves the Hispanics.
That's an iconic photo.
Remember when he told that guy that he didn't look gay?
The guy in the crowd?
Yeah, you don't look gay.
Like he said, happy hashtag Cinco de Mayo.
The best taco bowls are made at the Trump Tower Grill.
I love Hispanics.
You know, I bet they are pretty good tacos.
They're probably good.
I'll be honest, looking at that taco bowl right there, I would absolutely eat that.
They're probably not the best, but they're probably decent.
Maybe don't post the brisket john put your meat away when was the last time trump cooked
anything never never it's been 30 years yeah he needs to enter the barstool competition where
those dudes can't make hot dogs oh my god oh boy well that's just get that all right don't put your
meat on the tl you're gonna you it. You don't have to post.
It's time.
Bit Madness Elite Eight.
If you're not familiar with Bit Madness,
our listeners have taken 64 bits,
ranked them,
put them in a bracket,
made their own brackets,
guessing,
and we are determining the winners of each matchup live on air.
We've done, what, three rounds now?
We're in the Elite Eight?
I don't know how math works.
Yeah, Elite Eight.
We did a Sweet 16 last time.
We've got some really good bits that have been left by the wayside, boys.
Today, we're going to have some really hard-hitting matchups
that are going to be difficult to reconcile, I think.
Are we ready to dip in today's matchups i'm ready the final matchup in the too much dip
side of the bracket is number five merchant of death on a cinderella run versus number three
el glissadente 2024 this is really difficult this is really really difficult
it's more difficult for me than i think you realize dylan i i feel like you think i'm
doing a bit i don't think you realize how much i enjoy the brief bouts that i get to spend with
the merchant of death el glissadente we got four more years of merchant of death is something we
need to harness now we're gonna find out that the merchant of death was poisoned in the next
couple years and he's gonna come back into favor on the show from the other side.
Yeah, do you think we've gained any Russian listeners?
Hopefully.
No.
Oh.
I haven't looked at the numbers yet,
the next-gen stats.
This one's easy for me.
I'm going to vote Merchant of Death
because I enjoy the bit quite a bit.
Dave does a good Russianussian uh killer voice okay and also because it's not el gozadente 2024 okay okay i you make
kind of a compelling case i guess i guess yeah great case bro jolena's a banger bro have you
heard yeah it's a good song surprisingly good no yeah what's your favorite
version oh bro i i love miley i do too freaking bad how old is she she's old enough she's old
enough she's in her 30s i think that's a question okay she's like 30 all right man
she's age appropriate she's. I've been in prison.
I miss these things.
No internet.
Well, you're 57.
I think 31's... I think it's okay with you.
Is he 57?
Yeah, he's 57.
Victor?
Victor Bout.
Has he gotten back to his killing ways?
Bro, I'm different now.
Dude, he kind of looks like you.
No, he doesn't.
He kind of looks like you.
He looks like a bald one. He does look like a... He kind of looks like a bald he does he kind of looks like he looks like a bald one
he does look like a he kind of looks like a bald one and you all right he's got a good
it's a hot mix by the way victor with the k is a dope name he's got other names are you guys
familiar he's got merchant of death which is certified they also call him a much lamer name
what the sanctions buster no one's calling that that stinks dude he just bust sanctions
oh you got sanctions let's call the sanctions buster he'll take care of this
that's like chris christie calling donald trump donald duck because he was ducking
it's just really bad oh god he looked at the camera called donald duck no
what does he have any other names they also just call him simply boris but okay
he's got several criminal charges out there conspiring to kill acquiring
and exporting missiles providing material to a terrorist organization
yeah he's not a good dude hey you make a good case he's not a good dude which is why i think
i have to vote for el glissadente 2024. Certified good dude. Certified good dude. I'd vote for him. He's got my vote.
Certified beef, too. I don't know if El Glizadente has the juice to make it through the final four
standalone, but for right now,
he's got a lot of political swing, and the merchant of death,
he's been freed, so I feel like he's kind of at the mercy of the people in charge of him.
People have been distancing from the merchant.
Oh, great.
Don't do this, Dave.
You got the onus.
Treat it well.
Come on, man.
Oh, man.
I'm sorry, man.
But it's got – look, I'm riding this glitz train until we take back the White House.
Yeah!
Come on.
Congratulations to El Blizzard Dente 2024.
Bro, it's tough, you know.
We made a good run.
I'll see you next year, man.
I truly love the Merchant of Death.
It's great.
I just – I love him.
In the retail therapy side of the bracket,
we have number three, Let's Go Out This Weekend
versus number four,
backers giving their stats on voicemails.
It's a tough matchup.
It's a really tough matchup.
Going against the backers is never something you want to do,
especially if you're Timon.
Timon could single-handedly fight
pretty much any backer out there, though.
Bro.
Let's go out this weekend.
This is tough, man.
Because both of these things I enjoy no matter how often I hear them or see them.
But for me, it's the three seed going through.
Let's go out this weekend.
There's a crazy event happening.
I know how I'm voting.
Do you want to do yours, Will?
What are you voting?
It's going through.
Let's go out this weekend and move on.
It's unanimous.
It's an absolute blah.
Okay.
It's too funny to me.
There's something about let's go out this weekend that I just really like.
I like the generic phrasing of it.
I enjoy Timone in general um there's a crazy event there's a great that's
the thing about it it's a crazy event that's gonna happen that's that's what's cool and we're
gonna be there that's what's cool in the mail-in bracket number one it's a blank play versus number two pledge voice oh a one versus a two we already did pledge voice on this episode i know and i and
it made me crack up when we were doing it which is why i think i have to vote pledge voice pledge
voice pledge voice unanimous it's it's a blank play is a good bit but that's it's gotten so
ingrained in my normal talking that like i don't it doesn't entertain me anymore whereas every time we do
pledge voice i end up really laughing very very hard see this becomes more difficult yeah this
becomes more difficult we have uh in the washed media generic bracket side we have number two
pwedge versus number one pants beer and to be clear pwedge this is not about the pledge voice
even though it does give pledge voice it
does give wedge voice this is about the pizza wedge for those who don't know what a pledge is
a pledge is a very very impressive piece of technology that allows your pizza to travel
from a pizza place to your home without being at an angle patent pending it has one very specific
use and the other times it's completely useless it's just
no no no no no you could put other takeout on it you don't want you don't want your chinese food
going through the container on your seat you can put that on there and keep it stable maybe you're
picking up some soup maybe it's ramen night you don't set your soup on a flat surface you gotta
secure that well what if you've got like a um big old pot full of gumbo and you
don't have a top to it you're riding in the back seat of a car yep and it's just splashing then
it could be useful wedge comes in handy yeah are you next time you do gumbo dave i think you should
do it with a pledge and a full open thing instead of bringing it in to-go containers
when i when i deliver the gift of caramelized onions to each of you i'll make sure to have
my caramelized onion pledge.
Where is our pledge?
It's in the bullpen.
Oh, he didn't make it?
He says it's confusing.
It's not.
Oh, you had class?
You have a final you have to study for?
I'm ready to vote.
What are you going to vote for?
We introduced this matchup three minutes ago.
We haven't even mentioned Pantspear yet, which means we're our mind is stuck on pledge i'm going pledge oh
your pants a little damp because you had to dump an entire six pack of vortex bottles down them
uh you know what i'm gonna go pants beer oh i'm putting it on will you know why
because i don't party with dry pants wow if you If you see me partying, you see me out at the bars,
you see me at the tailgate, my pants are soaked.
Just know that.
Out of all the matchups that I could have the onus for,
this is probably the one that I would want the onus for the least
because Pwedge came from my brain,
and pants beers are a source of a lot of happiness for me.
Maybe if Pants...
I think if we can get a couple Pants beers going
at some meetups in the future,
I think it might have a little more juice.
But I think in this case, I have to go Pledge.
Wow.
Oh, this matchup.
This next matchup is going to be...
Is it Pledge versus Pledge voice?
It is.
It's very...
Oh, my God.
Hey, tell your friends.
This is tell your friend to eat.
Tell your friend to listen just for that.
Our final matchups in the final four.
Number three, El Glizadente 2024.
Number five, Let's Go Out This Weekend.
No, number three, Let's Go Out This Weekend.
Number two, Pledge Voice versus number two, Pledge.
Two two-seats.
We're in an absolute tornado of bits right now.
We should do a thing where we tell backers,
find a friend who's never listened to the show,
have them just listen to those two,
like this next, on Wednesday is that segment,
Bit Madness, and record it.
I want to hear their live reaction.
Yeah, I want to see someone's live girlfriend
be really confused by what's going on.
Yeah, because I mean, this is, girlfriend be really confused by what's going on. Yeah.
Because, I mean, this is...
Yeah.
Can we commit right now, boys,
that we're going to do the final four
and championship round all at once?
That's what we normally do.
Yep.
That's what we normally do.
Next week.
What's the Purdue of this matchup?
Is it next week or is it Wednesday?
Wednesday.
Okay.
What do you think the Purdue is of this matchup?
Let's go out this weekend.
You think of these?
I mean, none of them are onesies.
You have no onesies left.
Which one lost hilariously last year?
Hmm.
Only to be redeemed.
Only to be redeemed this year.
Probably Glissadente.
Glissadente was definitely in.
But it is a former champion.
It is a former champion.
Yeah, which Purdue is not.
Thank you.
That's a great point.
Great point.
Okay. Match point. Okay.
Matchups are set.
Gogs.
Come on, man.
Glizong, good sirs.
Don't push it through anymore, guys.
Glizong, good sir.
I'm not saying it's going to go through.
We don't know.
Let's go out this weekend
as a major player, dude.
Make your girlfriend
and boyfriend listen.
You should be happy
that the three that are left
around Glizadente are there
because nothing is promised.
Okay.
All right.
Are you okay?
Hey, we're guaranteed some type of pledge humor in the championship.
It's true.
You know.
It's true.
You happy about that?
It's a merch play.
Don't cry because it's over.
Smile because it happened.
All right, dude.
All right. If Pledge wins, we're going to have to have the person that made us the pledge that 3d printed it for us we're gonna have to make him do a whole line of them if the pledge
wins the winner of bit madness should get a pledge i'll be surprised send them that one i'd be
surprised if this product didn't actually exist already somewhere have we checked on that there's
a workout device that you could do you put to like uh you do you put your heel up on
to do like squats or lunges to like focus on your quads it's a wedge it's a wedge but is it a pledge
i haven't said something that's like for to level it out some backer sent it but it isn't
specifically pizza where that's where we get our niche it's all about the branding
right if we went to shark tank with this, they'd be like,
do you guys have a patent?
That's the first thing they would ask. And we'd say no.
And they'd be like, okay, we're unlocking. We'd say, what the fuck's
that? And they'd say, how many sales have you done?
We'd give the worst ever pitch
of all time, and then Barbara Corcoran would be like, you know
what? I like you guys. I'm gonna invest
a million dollars. Oh.
She always does that. What if we started selling pledges she goes in on people
not not the actual idea i'm like barbara i don't think this is the move you guys are the product
like yeah i guess i don't what does that mean i guess that's right i guess
shut up pledge yep okay is it time? Bye.