Circling Back - Decorative Urns at Bass Pro Shop
Episode Date: January 8, 2024It was a weekend full of possible Worst Weekend stories, and somehow it had nothing to do with Will being on a bachelor party. Dave's a sleep mask guy now, Randy gets exposed for something in the offi...ce, the southern dude who got stuck in an urn, the naked Bass Pro Shop man, and the most notable moments from the 2024 Golden Globes. Enjoy a free one-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (17:45) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (35:20) Bass Pro Shop Guy w/ Tiny Piece (44:29) Stuck In The Decorative Urn (55:45) Will’s Golden Globes Breakdown Support This Episode’s Sponsors Lucy: www.lucy.co/steam (STEAM for 20% off) DraftKings: www.draftkings.com (code: WASHED for $200) Squarespace: www.squarespace.com/steam (STEAM for 10% off your purchase of a website or domain) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the wash media hq in austin texas my name is will de freese
my left david ruff so a lot of people after this show today are gonna be like man dave was kind of
refreshed he was on one what's going on what's he doing differently what's his secret we'll make
some tick i'm going to give you a glimpse i'm going to pull the dave curtain bag this is me
grabbing the beef curtain because, of course,
I have custom-made Arby's beef curtains in my home.
Too early for that.
Pulling it back.
Too Monday for that.
Here's the deal.
I'm a sleeping mask guy now.
I wear a mask to sleep.
Okay.
Is it green?
It's blue.
Does it cover your entire head?
You wear a sleep mask.
Do you wear a yellow suit with it, too?
I do.
That's crazy.
Are you doing – wait, who are we talking? The Riddler? I was doing the mask. Oh you wear a yellow suit with it, too? I do. That's crazy. Wait, who are we talking?
The Riddler?
I was doing the mask.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
Are you familiar with Jim Carrey's The Mask?
You're wearing a sleep mask.
The Riddler, also Jim Carrey, yes.
Confusing.
Yeah, but the Riddler doesn't wear a yellow suit.
His light has no chance of getting in.
Right.
I got Alyssa a present for Christmas that came with like a complimentary
sleep mask and she doesn't want it or she can't really use it because she's got to at least put
it in a stocking to act like you bought it. I did. Okay. And I've been using it and it's
quite delightful. So that's, that's, that's number one reason why I'm very refreshed today.
Number two, real quick uh complete vindication and
these guys may not remember it randy probably doesn't although we may have talked about it
on a previous podcast called touching base our old show i also have some vindication but go ahead
thanks i i got widely roasted for a time in the uh grand x bullpen a number of times actually for um my absolute uh adoration of a stand-up comedian
cat by the name of cat williams yeah and um if you've been anywhere near the internet over the
last five or six days you know cat williams and shannon sharp have put together what might end up
being the highest listened to podcast of all time and And everyone's pointing out how great Cat Williams is. And I got so flamed at Grand X
for liking Cat Williams, not necessarily by y'all, but mainly by Dan. No, by me too. You too. And
y'all are so wrong. And that's such a bad take. But, but like at the time when you were championing
Cat Williams, Cat Williams, what this was at a time where he were championing Cat Williams,
Cat Williams, this was at a time where he was getting beat up by middle schoolers and stuff.
He still made Pimp Chronicles.
I guess you do get vindication for that.
But at the time in history, I wanted to be on one side of that.
I stand by my take.
Every clip. My roasting. every clip from the shannon sharp
episode has been laugh out loud funny i haven't seen it i don't know you know what you're talking
about hilarious i don't know how i missed it it's just not in your algo dude i have to say that's
the most shocking thing i've heard today it's because i muted cat club shea shea i haven't
seen any of this it's it's been everywhere. Okay. But not your T.L.
What's the podcast?
Club Che Che.
It's hosted by Cat?
No.
He was a guest on Shannon Sharp's pod.
Oh, Shannon Sharp's pod.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he basically just goes in, and it's one big steam room.
It's basically like, hey, man, how many people can you just flamethrow right now?
How many people can you just tank for absolutely no reason?
I mean, no one is safe.
Okay.
Look, I'm always open-minded.
I will change my mind if it deserves.
I don't know if you're going to watch it and be like,
oh, I now think Cat Williams is funny.
But it is funny to see people acknowledging, dude,
how great his run was, specifically Pim Cronkles.
His brand of stand-up is not – I'm not on that wave.
That's all.
It's not my brand of humor.
He gained a fan over the weekend.
Okay.
He gained a fan.
But, Dave, you have to understand,
he was getting beat up by middle schoolers.
Yeah, that's what I love.
Look, I can't jump off just because he's at his lowest.
If you don't love him at his lowest you don't deserve
him at his best that's what yeah that's fair that's fair well said maybe i don't maybe i don't
deserve him elizabeth taylor you're more of a joe coy guy i don't that's your stand-up joe coy
fuck's that there's a there's a line in the sand right now between people who watch football and people who watch award shows.
And I'm on one side and you're on the other side.
Joe Coy hosted the Golden Globe last night.
And boy, oh boy, did it not go well.
Really?
He just wasn't funny.
Yeesh.
He went off.
Apparently, I've seen some of the writers tweeting.
I know we're going to talk about this.
I'll save it.
But he apparently went off script.
Joe Coy. Started freestyling. Yeah he apparently went off script. Joke boy.
Started freestyling.
Yeah, there was one writer that was like,
yeah, he's just shitting on my jokes right now.
And I wanted to be like,
if you are the writer of that joke,
you should probably not be putting it on your Twitter.
I was going to say, man.
Joke boy.
I want to lay low.
Dylan Chivry, ladies and gentlemen.
Hey, guys.
The realest motherfucker in the building.
That's right.
You know me.
Just real.
Randy, tell them how real I am.
I don't know. I tried tweeting about it. You know me. Randy, tell them how real I am. I don't know.
I tried tweeting about it.
You're such a baby.
Hey, what was the tweet?
I missed it.
Okay, we got to provide some context first.
So Tiffany Gomez, the plane lady.
Are we sure it's?
I don't know how to say her last name.
The plane lady.
We'll figure it out eventually.
She apparently is trying to get someone to go with her to the Cowboys game this weekend.
Playoff game.
Playoffs.
Oh.
And she tweeted at Hank from Barstool, and he's busy.
So someone tagged me and said, hey, how about this guy?
He already lives in Texas.
It was me.
Had a little back and forth on Twitter.
Not a big deal at all.
Trying to play it cool.
Randy hops in there with a tweet. had a little back and forth on twitter not a big deal at all trying to play it cool rainy
hops in there with a tweet he said uh something about how this guy this is the realest motherfucker
i said that now there is a because he tweeted with his hat i said i said now there is a
motherfucker that is real which was the exact thing that will said to dm her it's different
to dm it yeah will didn't actually do it though did he and so i It had 39 views by the time Dylan was jumping down my throat to delete it.
No, he didn't jump down your throat.
In the group chat, I said, oh, Randy ruined it.
They were scared away.
I was just joking.
I almost deleted my Twitter.
Randy panics and deletes it.
He's like, oh, okay, well, I'm sorry to meet you.
Dude, calm down.
Randy did, but we thought that he would do in this situation,
and he walked up like Willy Wonka and did like the roll and pulled off his hat
and that's how he introduced
himself to Tiffany.
And Dylan spotted me
out of the gym.
No, I didn't.
I was being playful.
I was also like in bed sick,
like barely looking at my phone.
Anyway, she did follow me
on Instagram as well,
as well as Twitter.
Are you team follow back?
I did follow her back
on Instagram.
So we'll see what happens.
Okay.
That's all I'm saying.
I got a ton of sleep over the weekend
on account of not leaving my bed for a long time.
And I still don't feel great.
Yeah, why are you here?
I don't know. Should I not be?
You can leave now. We can bring bread in.
I don't feel great.
I could stay home, but you know what?
I'm married to the game.
So I'm here.
Here's a guy who's here.
Can I just do a real brief segment real quick
maybe throw it back to something that we used to do throw it back
expose it are you gonna circle back oh okay who you who so you know usually when we are sitting
down to record we have a little routine.
Oh, no.
We'll all sit down, get plugged in.
We'll do some checks.
We'll make sure that everything's firing.
Randy will remind me to turn up his mic because it's all about Randy.
And so I'll turn up Randy's mic.
He'll do his mic check.
He'll tip of a cap, everything.
And then usually some tinkies need to get gotten off.
You know?
You don't want to have to pee in the middle of the episode.
I have coffee right here.
Someone pee on the rim or something.
So I hear Randy go into the bathroom and that's fine.
He can go in the bathroom.
How's that stream?
I'm not going to, I'm not going to tell people they can't go to the bathroom at the office.
That's an insane thing to tell someone.
That'd be weird.
Um, and so, um, this is gone.
And so I walk into the bathroom to go take my tinky, you know, me, I'm a sit'm not trying to my legs are tired from skiing all weekend i gotta go sit down and you know randy's
he's a responsible guy he puts the seat down i lift the seat up and apparently we're uh if it's
yellow stay mellow company these days i'm looking back at it i definitely didn't flush that's my bad
wow not a boy i didn't mean to i's my bad. Wow. Not a fleshy boy.
You didn't mean to.
I just got distracted.
I'm on my goofy shit today.
He's on his goofy shit today.
You forgot to flush the toilet.
The allergies, man, made me forget.
The allergies made you forget to flush.
I was too focused on washing my hands, which I did do.
I think you did that.
I bet you just ran the water for a few seconds.
Okay.
Did you mix your pee or did you flush and then pee?
Yeah.
Because I do stay in the environment, I sat down and mixed.
Yeah, that's frat.
Yeah.
I didn't want to.
It's not frat.
At the same time.
It's definitely not frat.
It's not frat.
It's not that frat, dude.
It's not frat.
It's really not.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
Okay.
So, I mean, yeah, I had a biology teacher who was very adamant about if it's yellow, stay mellow.
If it's brown, flush it down.
And I just never obeyed that.
No.
Not for me.
I don't like looking at that pee-pee.
No, you can't make a stew like that and just let it sit there.
Hey, Big Wash Media News, the bagel place across the street is officially open.
Mm-hmm.
I'm excited.
Coffee, too, by the way.
I think it took so long because they were actually building a pipeline from New York. I know. It took way too long. Well, I got excited. Coffee, too, by the way. I think it took so long because they were actually building a pipeline from New York.
I know.
It took way too long.
Well, I got nervous.
Last Friday, the truck was gone.
I don't know if he told you that or not.
Did it get stolen?
Well, apparently not.
Got hijacked?
It's now back.
Maybe they had to do an inspection or something.
I'll go maybe stock up on supplies.
I don't know.
But it's back, and they're open.
Huge.
Will, after you expose me, can I vindicate myself really quickly?
No.
About something else?
So before Christmas, listener voicemails, Dave said, put out there to have everyone send me a bunch of memes.
I didn't realize that this was happening.
And I liked every single one of them before I even said that, Dave.
So what do you think about that?
All right. When does the vindication come into play as in you said that i wasn't a man of my word i liked every meme well you're kind of a jerk now because you've been sending me memes at
the similar at a similar cadence to what you were used to sending me memes on and i've been responding
to every single one of yours randy and you seem to be not happy with my responses.
It's because you're going over the top and you know what you're doing.
You'll say something like, wow, this is the best meme ever, Randy.
Thanks for sending it.
What?
Do you want my response or not?
You don't know how I respond to people's memes all the time.
So wait, you're exposing me?
Yes, you thought I wasn't going to respond to all the memes, and I hearting it is such a pat on the head dude yeah well good meme this is great yo good meme
that's what i see when someone hearts my meme yeah i'm glad people are doing a heart in the
instagram dms for a meme is it just is so hollow to me yeah yeah it is it's if you get a haha in a group chat like
that means it was actually something funny but if you get a heart on something that just means like
hey i saw it it wasn't funny enough for me to formulate a response to and now i'm moving on
this is me letting you know that i did see your message thank you that's all i need sometimes
i'll hit you with a wow and it can be read like two ways like wow or wow
leave it up to you to interpret if it's funny but not that funny sometimes i'll just hit it
with like a lmao i'm just kind of like okay i think you've done that to me yeah yeah okay i've
been sending a lot of memes to you guys lately though i've really upped my meme sharing game
you sent me one that i didn't see for a couple days uh and i felt so i
left it alone i didn't want to i thought i would have felt bad responding to it after two days dude
hey dylan i don't check receipts on the memes that i send i know what what i'm sending is fire
and i know that you're probably laughing too hard to actually respond to me right so that's fine
yeah you know i'm also sending most of the stuff i send you is like stuff that like you know
probably isn't something i want to retweet on the TL. You sent me something because like there's a guy
named Cole Campbell.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was like, okay.
Yeah, dude.
There's a new soccer player
named Cole Campbell.
He's good looking.
That's sick.
Yeah.
Does he have his own empire?
He might.
He might.
He's got a full studio
in his grandma's guest room.
Mm-hmm.
And celebrates
bubble butt baddies.
Mm-hmm.
Got some important announcements to get out of the way.
Tomorrow, Touching Based, a conspiracy podcast.
I'm going to do a little call to action for the listeners out there.
If you have any conspiracies that we haven't covered at this point,
send them our way.
I'm very open to hearing about some conspiracies
that maybe we didn't even know about.
Did you see what happened in Miami?
The party in the city where the heat is on?
The city that's famously sinking?
Randy, you saw Miami, right?
Aliens or maybe kids with fireworks.
Who knows?
Maybe we'll talk about it tomorrow.
It's not really worth getting into,
but some stuff went down in Miami
and people are talking.
Well, you can sign up on Patreon,
patreon.com slash circling back podcast.
It's also linked with Spotify at this point.
So go make sure that happens.
And if you want to leave us a voicemail, 888-618-4422.
If you want to read our newsletter, washed.substack.com.
And if you want to watch all these episodes, youtube.com slash circling back.
Major announcement on the row back front.
Backer 20 gets you 20% off.
But there's only larges left of the Wilmots polo.
So if you want one, it's about to be warm outside.
It's about to be moisture-wicking season.
We're easing out sooner than later
from QZ season.
It's going to be moisture-wicking season.
So go get your Wilmots polo. What, Randy?
Sure.
Half the country is like four more months
before it's polo season.
We have a large listenership in Austin, Texas and the greater state of Texas, Randy.
There are 33 left.
33.
Larry Bird jersey, 33.
Large as that is.
Every other size is gone.
Bye-bye.
A lot of short kings, huh?
33 left, David.
Or just, you know, in shape.
Sure. But we might just have yeah mediums fit all different shapes and sizes it's true my brother-in-law's like six four rocks a medium
really blew my mind too true no oh three and six four dude his biceps can't fit in a medium
are you kidding me dog it's a good point. Fuck that guy.
Ooh, is it time?
Just relax, dude.
What?
Somebody watch Salt Burn.
I have not seen Salt Burn.
It's this weekend of fun.
Ooh, is it time to talk Lucy?
In the sky with diamonds?
Have you tried these breakers yet, Dave?
You know I'm a gum boy.
You know this.
You know they're upping the nicotine pouch game with breakers.
Is that why you renamed our group chat the Gum Squad?
Yeah, that's exactly it.
You know how if you do a pouch, sometimes the nicotine doesn't hit immediately?
Or the flavor, for that matter well the geniuses at lucy came up with a brilliant way to fix both of those problems they put a mini liquid capsule inside the breakers pouch it's a lot of fun you
put in your mouth and you bite down and you feel it pop it's actually like feels cool Can I do an impression? Yeah, I'm the ball. Okay
Okay, give me like a physical rendering of what it looks like like you are the pouch or you are the the little ball thing
Okay, okay
That's also kind of how you feel when it hits too in like a good way, yeah
Yeah Increases your focus your you become alert Yeah. That's also kind of how you feel when it hits, too. In like a good way. Yeah. Yeah.
Increases your focus.
You become alert.
You know?
Dave?
Look.
Pull back the curtain again.
We're waiting on a package from them, and I have been champing at the bit.
Yes. I'm going to be chomping down on some of this gum pretty soon.
You chomped with a champ to chomp.
The breakers come in four or eight milligram pouches.
And, of course, they are completely tobacco-free, 100% pure nicotine, and six delicious flavors.
They have a couple unique ones, apple ice and espresso, which I haven't tried the espresso yet.
The apple ice is very good.
And, of course, you have the staples like mint or mango.
This dude hasn't tried the bing bong one. What's his problem? I haven't seen mango. I haven't tried the bing bong one.
What's his problem? I haven't seen one. I thought you were the bing bong guy. I think we actually requested the bing bong one to be sent. So hopefully they send that to us. Love these
things. It's the perfect amount to just kind of get you going. You know, I like the four milligram.
Dave likes a two milligram gum, as he said, kind of a soft boy and that's okay. I can tell when
you've been, when you've got one in, man.
You're just a more dialed guy.
That's right.
You're a fiend in those DMs.
They've been calling Dave.
Never mind.
What have they been calling him?
I was going to say Stephanie Gomes.
That's good.
Break up with your dusty gas station pouches and go to lucy.co.
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Lucy products are only for adults of legal age and every order is age verified.
Warning, this product
contains nicotine nicotine is an addictive chemical okay read over what hold on a sec
is the joke here that i'm just walking around stiff like well it was more of a play on
dylan's girlfriend's name okay i just okay we're kind of a hot item it's hard to it's hard to rhyme
anything with tiffany stephanie does work stephanie works it's kind of a hot item. It's hard to rhyme anything with Tiffany.
Tiffany does work.
Tiffany works.
It's kind of the only thing.
Oh, you catch me on Slack.
I'm Jiffany.
I don't like that.
You don't like that as much? No, I don't like that.
You can be Giffany.
Yeah.
But not Jiffany.
No, you're not a Giff.
Are you a hard G guy too?
Oh, yeah.
Of course I am.
Let's fucking ride.
See, the computer dork, he's also a hard G guy.
Yeah, the computer dork.
Okay, why do we trust the computer dork and not the guy who came up with it?
Because you can't name shit.
Because that's the computer dork dork.
I hate it when people name stuff after themselves or after whatever they want.
The G, it's an acronym and it's graphic with a hard G.
Oh my God.
Just saying.
Okay, yeah, so I'll take a gin and tonic, please.
Okay. Okay.
We got real quiet after that, didn't we?
Did you get a lot of gifs for Christmas?
Were you giving out gifs all over the place?
Oh, you just dunked on your shit, dog.
That's not a response to what he said.
I don't know.
It is.
Santa come down to your chimney and give you a gif?
Oh.
Leave it?
The tree with care?
Dude, Randy's just hanging from the rim right the rim what the fuck did you do this weekend
none of this applies i'll tell you what i did a little little friday golf round went out to ut
golf club with uh dave and with brett and with our friend blaine like here let me actually let
me get my phone so i can see what score you registered in your handicap. You probably saw mine. My game is still trash.
Hey, conditions were tough.
Were they?
Greens were very tough.
The greens were tough.
I'm more concerned about just trying to get off the tee, which I did once, I think.
My game is still trash.
Beautiful day.
Weather was great.
Company was okay.
It's crazy that your game isn't good considering you play once every six months.
I know.
I know.
Yeah.
That's a good point.
I think it'd be a little saltier.
Yeah.
So I had a good time, man.
It's nice out there.
You were saying that you were talking about the last time you played or picked up a club.
You were actually wrong because remember how well you played on pretend golf?
Our little pretend golf video we did over at Rock Golf.
That's true.
Yeah.
You were actually pretty good.
Yeah.
Well,
I wasn't bad anyway.
Did that Friday,
Saturday.
I woke up feeling,
uh,
feeling pretty poorly,
a little under the weather.
I don't see your fever.
Maybe.
I'm not sure.
Am I asking to do with the golf that I played?
Just another reason why I shouldn't play.
It's pronounced Cedar.
And so I,
I spent the entirety of Saturday,
which was a beautiful weather day, by the way, in bed.
I got out of bed to eat and use the restroom.
And that was pretty much it.
Did you watch Salt Burn?
No, I didn't.
I'm working my way through Fargo still.
I skipped season three.
I'm on season four with Chris Rock.
It's pretty good.
And Sunday, also pretty sick.
I had Parks back. We played a little little baseball probably shouldn't have done that didn't feel great afterward it's still sick and it's just i'm just a shitty kind
of a shitty weekend on the feeling good front okay and that's it man but i'm happy to be back
in the stew if you get a sick i'm gonna be really upset yeah i don't want to get y'all sick you
make me go home if you want you know your boy you know post bachelor party like your immune
system is just not firing like it used to be if y'all want to kick me out of here feel free
i'm probably like 85 did you get a thermometer and put it up your butt
yeah what would that keister say i'm probably 85 right what's the temp
did you take a temp i didn't take a temp i didn temp. I didn't feel like my temp was off, though.
You know, you can tell.
Sean temp over here.
Yeah.
Anyway, that concludes my weekend and fun.
Throw David the rock.
Catch the rock.
I just gave him a hook pass.
I don't know why I did that.
You don't see those too often.
I'll put it back.
Randy, stop.
Yeah, we had a nice round of golf.
The highlight of the morning for me was when Brett had been calling Blaine,
who was hosting us by the name Blake, for about the first four or five holes.
Realized it, then came over to our cart and did, like, the hand up on like apologize thing that was that was my favorite moment i'm an idiot yeah it was i could just
picture it that's our photo actually that's our biz dev guy yeah that's our biz dev guy shaking
my hand uh we did our fourth christmas uh saturday had uh my brother-in-law his family came down
did a nice uh nice cheese board picked up some pine house pizza you guys familiar with this
gloss over the cheese board what was on that thing oh a little uh boar's head sliced up sausage some
some big pepperonis gabagool some sal, some prosciutto, gabagool.
You know, the stay-loved.
Just say it like that.
Do you think the car girl ended up getting the gabagool at Juliet Saturday or Sunday?
She answered your question like she knew exactly what was going on.
She had no idea what you were talking about.
People are still going to Juliet?
She went.
There was one up north, apparently, that they were going to.
Okay.
It was her birthday.
Did you end up sending a bottle to her table?
Yeah.
You did?
I sent moms over. Ooh. Mm-hmm. do okay okay it was her birthday did you end up sending a bottle to her table yeah you did i sent
moms over oh yeah no i didn't send him any any do you have any mums we were like the highlight of
their day because there was nobody on that course except for there was a lot of olds out there they
were fucking with our shit for sure yeah did you end up did you get in the
you get the at you were asking for the at did you get the i did not ask for the at
saturday night just low-key yesterday low-key a very low-key weekend great weekend i've been
doing a thing with my dog i've like i want to get him and um he's not overweight but i'm i could see
him getting overweight so we're now doing walk slash jogs,
modifieds. And, um, he's pretty good. He's like enjoying them. So I've been doing a, if you see
me, if you're in my neighborhood and you see me doing like some real half-assed jogging, it's not
for me. It's for him. Have you considered just giving your dog a Zen pick? Well, we looked at
it and some of the, the long-term effects, uh, particularly on the gallbladder, like we're just,
Well, we looked at it and some of the long-term effects, particularly on the gallbladder,
like we're just, no, we have not.
Do they have dog ozempic?
I don't know.
No, actually, I've just been showing them David Goggins' Instagram videos.
That's good.
I'm like, dude, you don't need ozempic.
Just watch Gogs. Yeah, why don't you just get a rucksack for the dog?
That's a great point.
More like a rough sack.
Yeah, we're putting ankle weights on Rosie.
Speaking of, did you see White Lotus cast came out?
Yeah.
This has nothing to do with my weekend, but...
Yeah, it's whatever.
Woody Harrelson?
Yeah, yeah.
Piper Posey?
I don't know.
See, I think my issue is that I haven't seen a lot of things that some of the cast has been in.
And so I'm just not as excited as I was for like last season.
I was also mad that my theory didn't come true.
That Connie Britton and Megan Fahey were actually sisters and they were going to return for this season.
Maybe they could sneak that in like a subplot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe they could.
Maybe they could.
But they said they were going to be recurring characters.
So I'm excited to see who will be recurring.
What if they just did White Lotus Season 4
and it's just at a Bass Pro Shop?
Stop.
Like the entire thing.
Yeah.
Wait, where's this one taking place?
Thailand?
Yeah, I think Thailand.
That's why they teased it, at least.
Okay.
Like a good tease.
I don't know if there's any.
Do you?
Yeah.
Laid low, man.
I think you had the best weekend of all of us.
Headed over to the airport around noon Thursday.
Got on a flight to Denver.
Nothing like the buzz at the gate with the lads before Boucher party.
It's all time, man.
It's just, yeah.
I got called out of security by one of the guys, And it was like, oh yeah, we're all here.
Showing up to the place and dropping your bags is, is it overtakes the first buzz though.
Yep. So we, we, we got to Denver. We did the two hour trek up to Brecken or down to Breckenridge.
And, uh, it was, it was an enjoyable time. Um, the house we stayed in was absolutely incredible. I,
I absolutely lucked out on a room. A bunch of people were going upstairs to drop their bags. There's like a bunk room upstairs with numerous
beds. Then people were on the main floor dropping their bags. And suddenly I got to the point where
I was like, oh, this is going to be ugly for me. I might have to sleep on a couch somewhere or
something because I didn't want to sleep. I didn't want to, I, I, I'm likely to snore if I've had
something to drink. I didn't want to ruin anyone's trip, know and so I went downstairs and I found just a
king size bed in the basement and so
I just posted up there
my room was Africa themed
fuck yeah pretty cool
pretty cool
Breckenridge what a city what a town
was your flight loaded with people going to the
bachelor party it was only four of us and
we didn't all sit next to each other
I did put Phil from Grand X other. Um, I did put,
uh, Phil from Grand X fame club, cool fame. I did put him in the exit row just in case that seat got sucked out. Yeah. Uh, we had a hungover guy sit between us though. We, I thought we were going
to be able to do the thing where if he and I engaged with each other enough while people
were boarding that nobody would try to sit in between us. And at the last minute, the last
person boarding the plane was like, Hey, can I sit there? This guy was hung over. He went to the bathroom mid-flight and disappeared for about 30
minutes. So I was worried that he like maybe died or something. You thought he got sucked out. He
returns back with a water and a vodka soda with the bottle of vodka, the little mini bottle still
sticking out of the vodka soda. He sat there and he stared at the vodka soda until the flight
attendant came by with a
trash bag to clear out all the final trash from the flight he just stared at it and then once the
uh the person came by he just chugged it and i was like this guy is down bad wait so did you
make conversation with him no no he actually looked a lot a lot like he could have been
brothers with uh broski from uh love island what was his name
oh uh you know who i'm talking about tall handsome feller the big guy yeah i can't think of his name
yeah he looked like it looked like the russian doll version of him okay so wait i'm trying to
think so he he wasn't sure how that was gonna sit so he's like i'm gonna wait till the last
possible second if this gets me right, it gets me right.
He immediately hopped on a call,
a business call, the second we touched down.
So I was like, okay, this thing got him right.
He's in a good spot.
But Breckenridge, dude, yeah, the boys were just
skiing. A little border action
too. I will say that
your boys' knees cannot handle moguls like they used
to. I don't fuck with moguls.
No, I don't freak with them, dude. How how about quads uh the quads have been better uh the main issue for me was i
had shin splints on saturday when i woke up after the first day of skiing hit that mini theragun um
you know i'm not gonna tell any tales out of school uh it was a good bachelor party because
we're all old and so no one could really stay up past like 1am. But Barrett, the bachelor, co-host of Retail Therapy, he did a move that I've never seen
anyone do before. He was pretty torched after the group dinner on Friday night. Nice steakhouse.
Your boy ordered some elk chops. Oh, yeah. Very happy with that. And Barrett wanted to go back
to the house and have a party at the house.
And so everyone started calling Ubers at the bar.
And Barrett, instead of joining an Uber with everybody else, he just called his own Uber and just rode home alone.
But as he was exiting the bar, he was putting his jacket on and he was just looking toward the door.
He wasn't looking at people while he was talking to them.
But he just walked by and he was just pointing at people going, you're hot, you're hot, you're hot. I'm hot. You're hot.
You're hot. Just hyping people up. Walked straight to the Uber, got out of there. I returned home and
he was nowhere to be found. He was just in bed. Were these people he knew? No, he didn't even
look at them. He was just hyping people up. I've never seen Barrett that way before. It was so
good. It was my MVP move of the trip. I just loved that he was gassing up random.
Were they actually hot?
I don't know.
Doesn't matter.
The ratio on the bar was about 90% dudes, 10% girls.
Fuck yeah.
Not saying you can't be hot if you're a dude.
There were probably hot dudes there.
Wow.
But yeah, yeah.
The Opry Ski bar situation was just beautiful.
What's that bar called?
T-Bar.
Oh, yeah.
That looked great.
We hit T-Bar.
Fireball was just flowing like wine's that bar called? T-Bar. Oh, yeah. It looked great. We hit T-Bar. Fireball was just
flowing like wine.
Any Guinness?
I had one single Guinness
over the trip
and it was served
in a normal pint glass
with about this much foam
on top of it.
So I retired from Guinness.
I drank light beers all trip.
I didn't want to be
a sniffle boy
off my IPA grind.
So I just absolutely
hit those light beers. You want to be a sniffle boy off my IPA grind. So I just absolutely hit those light
beers. You want to be a sniffle boy. You know how I get sniffly off those IPAs, dude. I had one
Odell IPA. I love the Odell IPA. So when I saw it on draft at the, at the Opry spot, I hit it.
But I have to say very, very proud of the entire squad on this bachelor party. Everybody was
in good shape going to the airport yesterday. If you want to look up some of the worst airport video or photos you could ever see, just search Denver Airport on Twitter right now, and you can just see bags just stacked to the ceiling.
That was awful.
The Denver Airport, after your segment on touching base, spending some time in the Denver Airport, that place is fucked up.
Isn't it?
Blucifer is the most unnecessary statue I've ever seen in my entire life.
The artwork in there is really wild, too.
They've gotten rid of the very Nazi-adjacent artwork.
Oh, they have?
I think they at least got rid of one of them.
I didn't see that.
So you did not see it?
No.
Dude, that's the most appropriate Nazi joke you can make.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
But, yeah, Breckenridge dude, where did you rank on
the, uh, hierarchy of skiers? I don't really know. We were all pretty good. Uh, Barrett really
impressed me with his snowboard skills. He was very, very good. Of course he's a border. That's
cute that he's a border. He was, he was good though. Like he was, he was taking some liberties
and taking some lines down the hill that I was like
Oh, I'm not I'm not gonna do that
No, no, no, no no illegal drugs were consumed on this trip
Okay, that's good. Yeah
Okay, any illegal drugs
Given off dark vibes back there, bud. I
Smoked a solo joint in the hot tub after everyone went to bed on Friday night.
That rocks.
Joints are cool.
We had it.
And I was like,
you know what?
I'm awake right now.
Sleeping in altitude is not that easy.
So I was like,
I'm going to see if I can just put myself into a hole right now.
And it worked.
I slept like an absolute baby.
Yeah.
You got two kids.
You don't really have that many opportunities just to like smoke a joint in a hot tub.
Yeah.
Did you bring any weight back?
No, no way it was brought back. No no way it was left for the cleaning crew uh
at the at the house okay how often does that happen cleaning crews just like clean up on that
they have to right oh yeah they have to yeah i thought about like throwing it out just to like
not get in trouble with the house people but i was like no the cleaning crew will appreciate this
did anybody boof anything no boofing no boofing no no when i learned that when 80 of the bachelor party has kids
it really it really uh condenses the time that you have in order to like binge drink because
no one's staying up till 4 a.m right there was no one there with like a brand new kid who was
just ready to let it rip because they had been like at home for a long time and so it was it
was good it was good not looking forward to that split wise notification coming through later today
you need to go live when it comes through unfortunately i don't have any uh expenses
to add to that split wise so it's all just negative for me that's okay though that's okay
what what a weekend yeah i was drinking so many light beers, they were actually calling me the Draft King.
Wow.
Yeah, dude.
That's sick, dude.
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I don't know.
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I mean, I might sprinkle a little bit.
The Lions have been hovering between 4.5 and 5.5.
Who knows?
I'm looking at this Cowboys-Packers line.
It looks like Cowboys laying 7.5 at home.
Cowboys are going to absolutely BF the Packers.
J-Love is not terrible, man.
I know, I know.
Turns out.
Don't call him J-Love.
Turns out.
Like you've been following him forever.
What, we're going to sit here and act like the Cowboys aren't just elite right now?
They look hot and then they look cold, man.
I don't know what to think of them.
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All right, guys.
What did we miss?
Nothing.
Randy was making the Kurt Angle meme face at me.
The day did it back to me.
It, like, applied.
All right.
Officially read.
Done here.
Interstitial confusing url
www.1800 gambler the url with phone that's a that's a baller way to do it though it's smart
that's smart i like it it's just a little confusing no i get it i yeah it surprised me
but like that makes sense that checks out it's like i've always you, Dave, because I always get confused whenever I search for you.
I never know if I'm searching on Twitter or Instagram if it's D. Carter Ruff or D. C. Ruff.
Yeah, that's annoying, dude.
Fix this shit.
It is.
You're right.
And honestly, it probably hurt my social footprint.
Can we please talk about this guy's tiny dick?
Okay.
Can I say something before we talk about this guy's tiny dick?
I have not watched the video yet.
Okay. before we talk about this guy's tiny dick i have not watched the video yet okay i i have i've
avoided it because i i have secondhand embarrassment for him i was also only seeing clips of this while
i was on the plane yesterday next to a minor and so i didn't really want to be the guy who was
looking at dick pics on a plane next to a 13 year old so you didn't see this the still shot either
i saw the still shot but it's one of those things like so when i was flying out to breck every single thing on the timeline was uh jeremy allen white from the
bear just his like crank put on my timeline so i couldn't scroll twitter is this crank out there
uh i don't know oh oh my god if you're five foot seven right now this guy is paving the way for you
jeremy allen white's five seven yeah nice yeah yeah that's about what i would have guessed either way yeah that's fair i mean he
won an award last night for best actor in a comedy series and i always leave the bear just howling
with laughter there's nothing funny about that i can't i can't stop laughing during the bear
especially the christmas episode yeah dude i love it when she drives to the home all right so this bass pro shop guy
we can't we can't even show the video on here because we'll yeah we talked about it birmingham
out birmingham alabama bass pro shop this is a big weekend for the south granted i haven't been
to a bass pro shop in a minute but did they i didn't know they had tanks this size in there
this is impressive i'm just seeing this for the first time yeah this is only a man there's a longer video an
overweight um uh white man not like obese but he's overweight he gets naked and hops into this
tank at bass pro shop and he's up against the glass with his meat just like almost pressed
against the glass there what he does a real shitty dive
into that water yeah but you have to respect that he dove in and just slink it like he was a breaker
wait i haven't seen him dive in yeah i haven't seen that one yeah he died he died the hashtag
click the hashtag bass pro shops it's the first video got it from mr guns and gear oh here we go
is let's see this do we know why he was doing this oh that's a bad dive
okay to get anytime someone's naked in public i assume they're on drugs right yeah they're on
that shit yeah this is not you don't just get drunk and do this is there any way that this is
a fantasy football punishment that's a great question but this is like a life-altering
fantasy punishment right yeah this better be like a high
stakes league if you're willing to do this here's why i don't think so because if you have to you
have to do that as a form of punishment you're not like openly like up against a glass with your
with your shit showing you like hide you hide and you're like yeah you're tucked in the tuck
in like maybe you flash the fruit basket to the camera but like you're not outright showing well
also like no fantasy league is going to have such a strict rule about nudity that you just put yourself on a list for the rest of your life
that's fucked this is could have been kids around which is a big problem there probably were i mean
it's a small problem in this so what okay what's worse for you if you're this guy that you're the
guy who got naked and jumped in the best pro shop tank we are the guy who everyone knows has a tiny penis it's the ladder i don't think you use a ladder it looks like
there's rocks that he scaled to get up there because this is a tiny tiny little penis on
this man we don't know the temp of that water i'm gonna guess it was hovering around like 68 degrees
67 that'd be what if that'd be cool if it was a cold plunge that would be sick maybe this is a
cold plunge play maybe he's on his wellness shit
in 2024
you can wear
you can wear clothes
in a cold plunge
kind of defeats the purpose
my dude
when he's
when he's arrested here
he's just squirming on the floor
like a fish
it's funny
well he does
when he exits
his dismount is not
they're just dragging him off
I'm just now seeing this
why did he not
portnoy and go totally
I mean he was totally limp
he should have just gone full limp
oh they're dragging him on his stomach like out of there while he's naked if
you're the cop why don't you just grab some clothes off a rack and like cover him up a little bit like
just toss a toss a shacket on our man see he had a this is a real missed opportunity to just kind
of for whatever reason go into like um late 20s gangster mode as they're dragging him out of there back you'll
never take me online yeah i know it again yeah you should have done that dude he's clearly not
down to sleep with the fishes because he just wants to vibe with those things in there this
poor he might have injured himself hopping out of that tank man the moral hangover you have after
you know the drugs were off the one thing i've never done when like i'm hammered is show crank
no like i've never had a i've never had a morning where i woke up and i was like oh was i naked
like oh that's why i think he was on that shit i mean it's possible there is there's no explanation
this guy hasn't been doxxed yet i haven't seen we haven't found his reddit history i haven't seen
anything about it it's probably for the best i don't know if I want this guy's identity out there. I feel bad for this guy.
That's a tiny little penis, man.
Oh, no.
It's kind of a pixelated Brett penis, though, which is nice.
I'm glad it wasn't like HD video, 4K.
Right.
Yeah.
Like, if pixelated Brett was a penis, it would be this guy's.
Is this real?
Now I'm reading like
actually into the story and there's just potentially like kind of
fuck what i don't know see what it was always gonna be sad
i don't know i don't know like it might have been a uh what they are describing in this person who
i have not vetted possible Facebook posts.
It's been screenshotted a mental health event, horrible reaction to meds. I don't know. Not good.
And, um, Ooh, boy, there's some memes here. Okay. Well, there are memes. Stop scrolling.
I got to stop scrolling. this is why i can't
watch this is why i can't watch it it's too it's too much for me that could have been me i will say
it did look freeing yeah honestly they should like if bass pro shops is smart they should open it up
after hours and let people like vibe in there this guy's got some mental bass why have why have a tank that you can swim in if you're not
allowed to swim in the tank do they put fish in that bad boy what's the point of that tank yeah
there's fish in there there are okay yeah maybe he was trying to noodle those are cool stores man
that would have been sick had he noodled that would have been his entry point just a noodle
just got a big bass on his arm oh yeah yeah that would have been
cool i guess dylan can't noodle dude actually could you touch a fish from the inside oh no
would you rather do that or would you ever noodle hell no i have some friends that did it on a
bachelor party the the that like thinking about a fish like all the way up on my arm the pictures
from it are hilarious wouldn't it be fun to do one time no why just go to the
end of that oh i'll do it once dylan goes but he just lays down over the you know hole i don't
think my arm could lift up a big fish if it bit onto it though that'd be the issue yeah you could
no i'm too smart dude these things are perfectly tiny those things are more capable than you think
no no dude i'm still this poor guy i hope there's no like actual mental health thing here there was
george costanza vibes.
Like all the George Costanza stuff on the timeline about it.
Like I could see him doing this.
Did they taser this guy?
Does tasering hurt worse when you're wet?
I don't know.
Oh man.
Have you guys ever been tased?
No,
no.
I've seen someone get tased in a controlled setting.
Not the move.
Like where?
Like in a demonstration in front of the school?
Yeah.
We had that.
We had that before.
They asked our class, does anyone want to see how it feels on a really small level?
And the person that decided to do it really regretted it after.
I can't.
Taser's the one they shoot at you, right?
They shoot the little rods into you?
Yeah.
Yeah, but the one that they did in school was like a handheld one like that's a like a stun
gun yeah yeah i don't know i don't know how different it feels what what like why are you
allowed to tase high schoolers dude this is why people don't trust the the mainstream media ap i'm
reading the ap supposed to be like your gold standard uh what's that stand for the 42 year
old man alabama man did a, cannonball leap into the aquarium.
No, he didn't.
He did.
He did.
Oh, he did?
He did cannonball.
Then he got out and then dove back in.
Yeah, he jumped in numerous times.
I apologize to the mainstream media.
Yeah, David.
You're calling fake news.
I know, and I just got outed as a fake newser.
So I apologize.
Did this guy have a worse weekend than decorative urn guy?
No, decorative
urn guy didn't show his piece.
No, sadly.
His is actually, like the
the best guy is just sad.
That's sad. This guy has just been drinking.
Let's watch this 30 second video
with audio from a wedding
somewhere in the south. I'm
going to assume based on the accents alone,
where this gentleman was stuck in a decorative urn.
I'm doing everything I fucking can!
God damn it!
So, like, just don't get stuck in the urn!
Obviously, like, men will literally get inside of a decorative urn rather than go to therapy.
He's just stuck in it.
He saw that urn and he had to get in it.
And now he can't get out. I really have a hard time Down talking this guy because
We've all been drunk enough at a wedding to the point where you're like should I get this decorative urge?
This is a situation we would look at that old-fashioned
I know I know that's it
That's a high-end wedding if they're serving old fashions look like that so in glass
Just walk down in there his knees like he had to like fold his knees in yeah because he did that
That's what kept him he couldn't you know locked in at some point panic sets in right oh my god yeah
well like yeah i mean the claustrophobia you must feel and the panic that you have
so uncomfortable i mean you have like just a group of people who just surround you with
kick both phones out and then all barking orders at you like do this try this so they eventually
got him out just by breaking the urn, correct?
They had to bust it open.
Like, they should have just done that from the immediate jump.
Apparently, there's a longer version of the video.
The guy, he may be the guy whose house this is at.
He's like, it's a really expensive urn, or like, whatever.
Please don't break it.
I've seen anywhere between $500 and $3,000 urn. Okay. I mean earn okay i mean if you're gonna break it you just this guy pays the bill yeah like
you don't get into the earn without knowing that if you break this earn you're gonna have to do it
yeah i broke something at a wedding last year what have i told this story oh the was it the
table yeah i was talking to the mother of the bride for a long time um after the rehearsal
dinner and everyone else was in this other part of the room.
And I decided to go join the conversation once the mother of the bride went to bed.
And there was nowhere to sit, and so I decided that I would pop my butt on the coffee table and just kind of sit there for a second.
And when I put my butt down, the coffee table just completely collapsed underneath me.
And, like, it was like a cartoon. Like all four legs just went flying and, uh, it was
just not great.
And luckily for me, the, the person who was in charge of the wedding venue said that they
needed to do restoration to that table anyway.
So I didn't need to worry about it.
But when I saw how old that table was, I thought I was on the hook for about four grand.
Yeah. That, that did not end up being as bad, I thought I was on the hook for about four grand.
Yeah, that did not end up being as bad as I thought it was going to be. No, like honestly for me, I didn't do anything drunk.
I wasn't doing anything inappropriate.
I was just trying to join a conversation.
And that's why everyone wrote for me that it was very tame.
You didn't like Bill's Mafia the table.
Yeah, yeah.
Or Will's Mafia.
When I see very beautiful vintage Italian coffee tables,
my first inkling is to not jump through them.
God, this is so embarrassing.
This is just good, clean fun.
This is the situation.
We've all been there.
This is like everyone can get a laugh out of this one,
even the guy who got stuck after a while.
Yeah.
This is a fairly – this is a white guy thing though you got to just go get inside
of something like that you know what there's there's an urn i'm gonna go like get stuck in it
oh that would be so the feeling of being stuck and then you see the cameras are out and you're
like okay well this is gonna be a thing in mere minutes you gotta roll with it my face i just like
his i like how he kind of gets defensive and just starts lashing out.
Yeah.
People are like, take your sweater off.
I don't know if the sweater's the issue.
Yeah, it's not the sweater.
More of like the positioning of the leg.
Maybe this wasn't a wedding because the people are like, I'm guessing rehearsal dinner.
Yeah, this is giving rehearsal dinner.
There's some nice, that guy's rocking a nice George Strait.
Yeah.
All the fits in this are not wedding fits.
These are all rehearsal dinner fits.
They should have taken his sweater off and greased him up a little bit.
Maybe get some baby oil or some butter.
Yeah, do you think they poured some olive oil down in that urn and just kind of mixed it up?
Dude, couldn't have hurt if they tried something like that instead of breaking the really expensive thing.
You got to break the urn.
You just got to cut your losses immediately.
If I'm this guy, I'm begging someone to break it just so the video ends faster you think you could break it yourself like the way to like
just roll against a brick wall or something that looks pretty thick you think he's just gonna roll
over to a brick wall and shatter this i don't know but i'd like to see him try they took that they
got hammers out and it looked like it took some actual doing i know like this thing i thought it
was going to be like a like an egg or something where you can just like tap it once and the whole
thing crumbles yeah it was pretty you ever gotten stuck in something no i got my head stuck in a beach chair when i
was young really how long was it stuck uh they had to send someone over to cut me out really i was i
was pretty young you know those beach chairs that have like the the rubber yeah like i had one of
those and i just thought it'd be funny to stick my head through it and then we tried to get it out
it just wouldn't come out dudes rock yeah really yeah so we had to cut some of the
bands that's so will's mafia i also i just stacked me at this same pool that we went to as a kid i
also got stuck in the uh revolving door in one of the the areas of the place for about just a
menace about 45 minutes i was too small to push the door on my own oh so i just was sitting there
little will hey it wasn't great.
I'm going to give you each one guess as to where this gentleman, his name's Connor, where
he went to college.
I'm going to say, I want two guesses.
I'll give you each two guesses.
Can you narrow it down?
Just based on accent.
He's either a Gamecock or a Rebel.
I was going to say gamecock or...
That doesn't sound like Mississippi to me.
He just looks Mississippi to me.
Can you run it back with the...
Just hit play from there where he's yelling,
where he lashes out because he realizes what he's done.
He's about to be memed into oblivion.
Take off, brother!
I'm doing everything I fucking can!
God damn it! God damn it.
God damn it.
I'm going to say Clemson, just to be different.
One more guess.
South Carolina.
You know which state?
Mississippi State.
Mississippi State.
Okay.
Just like Dak.
Specifically the School of Architecture.
Really?
I would love to see some of his designs in blueprints.
And I think in his...
Of course, his name is Connor too.
White dudes named Connor love making mischief at weddings.
This is great.
And you got the dads helping out.
You got like dude who won't put down his old fashioned to help.
This is phenomenal. The toughest thing for him is the las helping out you got like dude who won't put down his old-fashioned to help this is
phenomenal the toughest thing for him is the lashing out like if he handled this like laughing
it off and whatever like he'd come out of this a lot more unscathed i did see a picture of him
posing with the broken urn after the fact and he was like smiling so he at least he's wearing it
and like this has been so covered at this point that even if it wasn't expensive earn if they
really wanted to they could do a gofundme and buy a bunch of earns this is the kind of thing that like in the moment
it's really embarrassing but give it a month he's like you know what looking back that's pretty
funny and if i just like lean into it i'm like the funny earn guy and it could be a thing
funny earn guy like he could get an interview on barstool sports what if they couldn't get
him out and they just killed him and then they set him on fire and then they just use that urn as his like that's really dark will yeah
yeah it's really what if it's a hypothetical yeah i don't want to touch that one it's just
a hypothetical okay why do they make such big urns i'm all about big urns dude it looks like a like a
big pot for like an outdoor uh chiminea i don't have earned money right now you put like a uh a little
tree in there y'all cop an urn recently you gotta have it like that if you're just out there buying
three thousand dollar decorative urn yeah i know i don't i don't have it like that do you have do
you have just like too much money that you're just out there like let's get another urn for the
backyard this looks like an affluent group dressing by all the uh the
sweaters with collars sticking out of them in the old fashion the guy wearing a blue blazer with uh
a navy blazer with jeans of course the urn yeah yeah do you even earn bro and the way he lashed
out something about that laugh shout gave me like oh yeah okay yeah that look at his face oh yeah
so yeah here's some more for the folks at home.
Connor, this is an HR issue, honey.
This is why there needs to be a decorative element in my house.
Oh, God.
You're not going to be able to get out.
He just gives up.
He just gives up.
We'll get you out.
We'll get you out. We are not breaking the pot. I don't know, he just gives up. We'll get you out. We'll get you out.
We are not breaking the pot.
I'll give a damn who you are.
We're gonna sleep you out.
We're gonna sleep you out.
This had to be before he was busted out.
He's in two good spirits right now.
There are moments when this dude looks 17
and there's moments where he looks 44.
Was he in this hotel?
Good question.
Okay, now they're surrounding him with hammers
and they're busting it open.
Fuck yeah, Connor.
Who in Wash Media is most likely to get stuck in an urn?
I'm going Randy.
Definitely Randy.
It's Randy, but you can put me in.
All right.
Two or three.
This is something I would have done at some point. I can see myself getting stuck in an urn for sure, but like Randy, I can really see getting stuck in an urn.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like trying to impress some females.
He's like, hey, look at this. And then it's just. Dude, chicks love it when you get in urns. an urn. Yeah. Yeah. Like trying to impress some females. He's like, Hey,
look at this.
And then it's just chicks love it when you get an urn.
It's true.
Yeah,
man.
W raise.
Right.
You would have thought that if this thing wasn't around,
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Last night I got home from the bachelor party and I didn't want to do anything.
I didn't want to talk to anybody.
My beautiful wife had gone to Matt's El Rancho earlier in the evening, so I had a leftover
fish taco.
Okay.
She went corn tortillas.
The corn tortillas at Matt's are just not good.
Did she bring both kids to Matt's?
She did, but she also brought my brother-in-law and my future sister-in-law as well.
Okay.
So it was made a little bit easier.
But because of the flight delay, she was going to come straight from Matt's El Rancho and pick your boy up.
But because of the flight delay, I got to Uber home.
Damn, dude.
Yeah.
Got to walk over to that Uber pickup.
Yeah.
So if you're in Austin and you want to go to the Uber pickup, don't go down the escalator as you're exiting the gates.
Just walk straight across.
Oh, I didn't know that trick.
Dude, walk straight across and then you'll eventually reach an elevator and you go down a level and you're right there.
If you have any old people traveling into Austin, tell them to do this because if they're lugging their giant-ass suitcase the other way, they might not make it.
Nah, not convenient.
But I got the gift of something last night that I didn't deserve after a bachelor party. lugging their giant ass suitcase the other way, they might not make it. Nah, nah, not convenient.
But I got the gift of something last night that I didn't deserve after a bachelor party.
I got a Sunday night award show. And traditionally, the Golden Globes are my favorite award show.
Why is that?
Because they cover television in addition to movies. So you get all the stars there.
I also think that the Golden Globes are much more casual than the Oscars.
They don't take themselves as seriously, and I think people have more fun.
Unfortunately, last night we did have Joe Coy hosting,
who just went off script immediately when no one was laughing at his jokes,
and so it wasn't exactly the best hosting gig.
He said he got the job like 10 days beforehand,
which doesn't really make sense to me.
Why didn't they get Shane Gillis?
They should have just gotten Shane Gillis.
Or Cat.
Cat's a hot name right now. Yeah, yeah.
Is this the one Ricky Gervais did a few years back or was that the Emmys?
I think he did.
I think that was the Oscars.
They did.
Really?
But I'm surprised they didn't kill him.
Okay.
He won an award last night and he was not there to accept it.
And I did wonder if there's maybe a blanket banning of him from award shows.
Okay. They didn't even do a prere pre-recorded acceptance speech oh really jim gaffigan just took the award and walked off okay well i don't know much about joe coy
the only the only experience i have with joe coy i believe he was a featured player on
chelsea handler's old show where they'd start the show off with a few comedians talking out some topics.
And I think he was on that.
And that's really the only experience
I had with him.
I will say, tough gig.
He got dominated by Taylor Swift.
I'm sure you saw that clip.
Nope.
He made a joke about Taylor Swift
getting too many shots
put on her at NFL games.
And she immediately just took a sip
of her drink in classic meme format.
Damn.
And just kind of put him in the ground.
Why not?
All right.
She stuffed him in a locker.
Yeah.
Why not just go with it?
It's not that bad of a joke.
It's not a personal attack.
Like, help the guy out.
He's bombing.
Taylor Swift is too big to worry about Joe Coy's jokes.
Agree.
Like, she's punching down by serving him that Luke.
Agree. Agree. Do you guys want me to read you some of the big winners from this drama motion picture
still never stopped still never sought killian murphy won irish boys were having a short king
is he like five six five seven yeah yeah really okay i learned that over the weekend. We talked about earlier, the bear just cleaned up.
We had our boy,
Jeremy Allen White
and Ayo Adibri.
Very nice.
I think it was deserved.
Here's a little surprising thing
for you, Dave.
Who do you think
accepted the award
when the bear won
Best Comedy Series?
Who do you think
they gave the speech to? i would think it would either be ao or maybe cousin
i could see cousin being like the one who's very good uh in that situation they gave it to marcus
okay he did the speech which actually spoke to i actually thought it was a very nice thing to
have a secondary character give the speech.
Is he the cousin?
No, he is the chef.
Did you watch season two?
I haven't seen season two.
He's the, I think he's considered the pastry chef
of the restaurant.
The dessert guy.
Got it.
I like him.
And so, yeah, he did a great job.
But the big things from the night were that,
one, Taylor Swift was sitting with Kelly Teller, Miles Tell wife she's been she's been initiated into the girl gang was britney mahomes
there she was not there they actually sat next to willem defoe not that he they didn't sit next to
willem defoe parks and i watched aquaman yesterday which willem defoe is in. Starring Adrian Grenier? No. Starring Jason Momoa?
Is that how you say it?
Yeah.
I'm not really familiar with Momoa's game
outside of him being a unit.
Why did you watch Aquaman?
Game of Thrones.
That's where he got his debut, I think.
Okay.
Okay.
Because Parks is into superhero shit right now.
Okay.
Big time.
Succession cleaned up.
You know we're Succession boys.
Of course. I was very happy about that. We had Kieran Culkin win. Sarah Snook won. shit right now okay big time succession cleaned up you know we're succession boys of course i was
very happy about that we had kieran calkin win uh sarah snook won uh all good all good things i
think they won best drama yeah they won best drama tv series as well is the bear just winning award
like they did they not want to go up against succession so they they just submitted under
comedy i i don't get it i don't know it's not even guess it doesn't
make sense it just doesn't make any sense succession feels like more of a comedy than
the bear if you want to really look at it i completely agree yeah that is weird i don't
think they should even separate at this point like i think they should just say like it's
like this is just the best series i still think the bear could have won that they don't do like
a best show they just do drama or comedy got it but i the further we get from the bear could have won that. They do not do like a best show? They just do drama or comedy.
Got it.
But the further we get from the bear,
the more that I do,
I really do respect that show.
Yeah, it's well done.
And then there was,
apparently something was,
did you guys see any of the Selena Gomez whisper controversy?
I saw, yes.
Selena walked over to the table
where Taylor and Kelly Teller were sitting
and she whispered something to them
and they both looked absolutely shocked.
And so they got some lip readers on the case.
And the working theory right now
is that she allegedly tried to take a photo
with Timothee Chalamet
and Kylie Jenner was like, uh-uh, not my man.
Wait, do they have history?
They're currently... No Chalamalamet and i don't know and
selena i just think there might be some beef between like selena gomez and like a lot of
other celebrities at this point okay but she's still in with the the taylor swift group uh yeah
yeah but she was sitting at a table with all the uh randy's favorite show uh only murders in the
building she was sitting with them boring with martin short and
company there's also a working theory out there that martin short and uh meryl streep are dating
okay okay i can get behind that can you imagine getting piped by martin short he'd be hilarious
i don't think he's doing bits i've never really thought about getting piped by martin short he don't know if he's capable of not doing bits martin short it's true he's hilarious he's funny
father of the bride he's the best character father of the bride too he's the best character
wait so what so okay i did see this still so do we have like john boy reading lips like what's
the deal here uh i don't know there's a girl on tiktok who i started following a long time ago
and i need her to get a hold of these videos. Cause she, all she does
is lip read. She does it for like, like if they show someone in the crowd at like a sports game,
like whatever, she'll just like say, Oh, this is what they're doing. It's a really impressive
skill. So I'm hoping that she can get ahold of it, but I haven't checked yet. That's all I have
on, on Will's a recap of the golden globes. I feel like I watched it now. Thank you.
I'm going to go back and watch the Joe Coy monologue.
I just saw the video of Taylor Swift taking the step after that joke.
It's not even that long of a monologue.
Did she body him, yo?
She made an uncomfortable situation more uncomfortable, for sure.
She could have turned the entire night around for Joe Coy if she just started laughing and was like, oh, thank you.
Pull up your glasses. But instead, now this guy's he's never getting another gig for a long time
that's a throwaway joke it's not like it yeah it wasn't personal i saw some blowback on a potential
barbie joke that he made a lot of people didn't like oh i didn't see that see i i will say i
didn't see that live because i sat down at about 8 2020 to watch the Golden Globes, and it started about 8 o'clock, or 7.20.
So I didn't see his actual bombing in real time.
You got to get somebody up there that's trusted.
Somebody you know.
We mentioned Gervais.
Okay, that's not going to happen again.
I don't even recognize this dude.
Run out Billy Crystal.
I don't even know what the award...
It might have been the Emmys or something,
where they had Amy Poehler and Tina Fey, and
they absolutely crushed it.
And I'm like, just let them do everything.
Yeah, they were good.
I don't have anything else.
Yeah.
Well.
That's it.
Are you guys impressed with the energy level I have after a bachelor party?
I am.
I was lacking because I don't feel great.
But you came through this
this is it was a very similar vibe uh after kentucky derby this year where i got home and
sally looked at me and she's like you don't look like shit did you do the saturday like all right
hard nine o'clock p.m cut off no i or did you just say whatever i immediately declared saturday the
night and uh started ordering espresso martinis for people and so i i had my first ever
espresso martini with tequila in it you do like your knockout cocktail sometimes i do i do which
is a bizarre move to me i don't do that it makes you feel like shit i don't do that anymore
you don't talk about dave no he'll like okay i need to go to sleep so he'll pour like the
stiffest it was like start dumping vodka a drink and he'll just pound it like, okay.
It's a better way to do this.
After we day drank, after the meetup in Chicago,
I got like a, it was like really late
and I was like, I'm getting a martini at the bar right now.
I want to go to bed.
Yeah, I want to go to bed.
I'm going to pour a really stiff drink.
Did you guys not go to Blue Stag?
We didn't, we didn't make it.
The other boys might have, the non-skiers might have.
But so I ordered an espresso martini not realizing that it had tequila in it.
And then someone else asked like, oh, did you get one?
And I looked at the menu and I was like, oh, shit.
I did not realize this had tequila in it.
I will say that it's a nice mix-in.
Yeah, it is.
It's not what I want every single time, but it makes it taste less sweet.
I think I might be in on it.
Yep, I agree.
There was one person on the bachelor party who had never had an espresso
martini before.
Do we know this person? Phil!
What? Come on, Phil.
He was really excited to go have
one, though, so he wasn't avoiding it.
He did have a good one to start off with
and he did have numerous more over
the trip. Espresso martinis have really changed
the way that people drink on
bachelor parties. Yeah. It's the drink of the year. Yep. I did do three shots of fireball
over the course of the trip. You know what, man? That seems like what you do in a ski town.
We did some rumplements to end the group dinner at Barrett's Request, and I brought up Randy's
lean Christmas cocktail, and people were a little confused by it, i did ride for you randy i did say it was a
great cocktail and it makes sense i will never never be like yeah water and rumple mist does
not sound good i'll never fault anyone for thinking that fireball is good and the mountains
pair well together they bought a flask for barrett uh from the liquor store and we just begged him
to fill it with fireball and he forgot both days. That would have been nice.
Yep.
Yep.
All right.
Touching based.
Do you guys have your conspiracy picked out?
I might do this Miami thing.
Maybe.
Well, I don't like the look on your face.
We'll see.
Okay.
Okay.
All right, guys.
It's been real.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye It's been real. Bye. you