Circling Back - Dillon Almost Died
Episode Date: March 25, 2019Dillon tells the story of how a car drove the front of the restaurant he was eating in, and we break down one of the sketchiest Worst Weekend Stories to date. We also discuss french fries, 90s brands,... and more. Support us on Patreon and receive episodes every Friday for just $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (9:28) Tiers of French Fries (15:15) Dillon Almost Died (33:07) Dillon's Obsessed With A New Dog (39:20) Worst Weekend Story Liquid IV: www.liquidiv.com (code CIRCLINGBACK for 20% off) Stamps.com: www.stamps.com (click the microphone and use CIRCLINGBACK) MeUndies: www.meundies.com/circlingback Twitter: www.twitter.com/circlingbackpod Instagram: www.instagram.com/circlingbackpod Visit: www.circlingbackpodcast.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast my name is will defrees all right day rough
circling back podcast my name is will be freeze my right day rough this is the biggest week in austin i'm so excited for this week is it the biggest week okay it's my personal biggest week
i'm i'm fair i'm ready for this fair this is my super bowl fair you gotta put acl above this week
in terms of just overall popularity and how big it is for the city
but yeah i agree with you that for me the the dell match play is where it's at it's my favorite week
to look forward to throughout the year in terms of austin events only yeah it's just so much fun
tigers in town the great part about it is that you don't have to deal with any of the bullshit
in austin yes it's not downtown. I can drive places.
That's all I care about.
I can get places.
We're talking, of course, about the Dell match play.
And I spent a good part of yesterday imagining,
so Tiger's playing.
The big cat's in town.
And it's cool knowing that that person's in your town,
which isn't necessarily a big town,
although it is a growing town that is a big town.
That doesn't make sense, but don't worry about that.
It's interesting thinking about where he's going to be going to dinner and stuff.
Well, that's why.
Where he's hanging out.
The three of us, we've made reservations at every steakhouse in Austin for the week,
and we're each going to go to a different one every night and sit at the bar,
and then once Tiger comes in, we'll say, all right, squad up at Bob's. A cat watch is in effect.
Yeah. For Central Texas, all of this viewing area. all right, squat up it. A cat watch is in effect. Yeah.
For Central Texas, all of this viewing area.
That's what we're doing.
Big cat watch.
Big cat watch.
People are saying that Tigers are infiltrating South Austin lately.
Really?
Yeah.
People are saying that.
I feel like that would be a bigger story.
We would probably know.
How are you breaking this to me?
There's a real big one coming in this week.
I live in South Austin.
Did y'all see the Bobcat who just totally hijacked that Founders Tournament LPGA?
You got to respect that.
That thing was probably about 40, 50 pounds.
Looked like a big, bigger Bobcat.
Bobcats don't usually get that big.
If you see him walking through the admission gates, you're not stopping him.
You're not patting him down and telling him to stop.
He can go wherever he wants.
Enjoy the tournament.
He's gotten inside the ropes pass.
He doesn't give a shit.
to stop. He can go wherever he wants.
Enjoy the tournament. He's got inside the ropes pass.
He doesn't give a shit. Not to do this, but while I don't fear
the bobcat in life or death
combat, I still don't want
it with the bobcat. You don't want that smoke?
No, because I'm going to get cut up.
Oh, yeah. It's not going to be a clean
W. No. He's going to
get you. I might have some scars.
You're going to have some cuts over the eye that are going to be really
bleeding. You'll bleed.
But you're going to walk away. Yeah yeah if it's life or death i feel pretty confident against the bobcat
still a cool cat though speaking of bobcats we get a couple bobcats out at the ranch
sneaky shots to paul goldschmidt they try and take our chickens why
um he's just like our greatest athlete ever from t-state yeah wait what is he
doing now who is this who is this paul goldschmidt who is this man i don't know who paul gold wait
what i've never heard that name in my life who is he he's a he's a first baseman certified raker
yeah for who uh i i could be wrong the last i saw he was a Diamondback. Look it up.
I think he either just did or is about to sign a big-time deal.
Let's see.
Is he a national?
I think I saw that he— Oh, man, Bobcat, stand up.
That shows how much I've been watching baseball lately.
He's been playing for the Cardinals.
I just realized that the connection you made between the Bobcats we were talking about before
and the mascot of Texas State, which is, of course, the Bobcat.
This is so classic Dylan.
Dylan's refusing to acknowledge
that he knows who he is
because he's probably bitter that he wasn't
playing first base.
I really have never heard the guy's name.
Dylan's not big enough to be a first baseman.
Dylan's like, no, I played...
You gotta be thick.
I played club.
You gotta be a certified thick boy to play first base.
Yeah, you need about 35 pounds.
I'm a little slender for first base.
Put you short.
Put me short, yeah.
Maybe, right?
I'm like prototypical cornerback size.
You want to draft a guy my size to play corner.
Wait, he might be a little big for that.
He went to the University of Phoenix as well
Yeah, online
That's like the biggest school ever, man
Don't ask me
I don't know
I don't know any fun facts, man
I only know the name
I know that he played in Arizona
And I know that he rakes
I think that he
I'm just going to fake this
I think he went to Texas State
Left early to play professional ball,
finished his degree at University of Phoenix.
That's such a why.
It doesn't matter.
Because he wanted to get that break.
He promised his grandma one of those deals.
Yes, I respect that.
He had his wife do it while he was raking.
I'm not going to add anybody, but I once helped someone.
Why not? With an online course.
Do it.
We know this person.
You helped someone?
Yeah.
You took it for them?
I didn't take it for them, but I did.
Did you?
No, I did not take it for them.
I did not commit academic fraud.
But that's totally what a lawyer would say if they committed academic fraud.
Is that the weakest type of fraud, academic?
Yeah, for sure.
Hey, are there any updates on the mob hit?
They got the guy.
I know.
I feel like he's a plant still.
You think he's a patsy?
I don't know.
Like Lee Harvey?
Everyone needs to put their head on a swivel for this.
Something's in the air air It's the least dramatic
Boss hit of all time
If it's all just
Some 24 year old kid
Took out this boss
Of the fucking Gambino crime family
I'm just imagining
This kid sitting in jail
Just throwing up two fingers
Like yeah I did it
He shouldn't do that
He should be
He should be doing pushups
And doing squats
because he's going to have a tough time.
What's your rep like in jail
if you're the dude who killed a mob boss?
Frankie boy?
Yeah.
Are you respected?
Or do you think there's guys in the clink
that would be like,
nah, that was part of my family.
Well, there's probably some people
associated with the family.
Yeah. And I don't know. there's probably some people associated with the family. Yeah.
And, um...
I don't know.
It's probably not going to end well.
You're going to have a tough time.
You might get smoked in there.
Makes you wonder.
Man, last night I cooked scallops for the first time ever.
I hate scallops.
Did that make your apartment stink?
Dude!
My entire apartment smells like fucking scallops now. You know why? I think it's? I hate scallops. Did that make your apartment stink? Dude. My entire apartment smells like fucking scallops now.
You know why?
I think it's because you cook scallops in your apartment.
Scallops are gross, man.
I've done other...
No, they're not.
They're not gross.
Don't eat those.
I've done other fish in my apartment.
It smells fun.
It's like, it doesn't linger.
The scallops, like, I came in from letting Rosie in this morning, still just reeked of
scallops.
I get why that girl got ripped on like forever on the bachelor
she somehow recovered wait who was this scallop fingers yeah i forgot about that that's interesting
you remembered that how do you yeah i mean she's she's the most famous person that's
who is she scallops did they go hard though what's her name yeah they went hard i don't remember
okay i'm not trying to eat scallops, man.
My mom loves scallops.
I'm the type of person, so this is my move.
So this happened at dinner Friday.
There's a lot of stuff, seafood mainly, on menus that I like,
but I don't like enough to not order the filet or some kind of beef.
I would like to eat some off of your plate if you did not finish it.
I would love to eat a couple scallops,
but at the end of the day,
I'm going to need that medium rare filet.
I will never choose a filet
at a seafood restaurant.
This place was French cuisine.
French-ish.
I feel like it skews seafood,
because they have an oyster bar and shit.
What are you talking about?
What place?
Le Politique. Oh. I'm not going gonna fuck with that place it's excellent the name of it it throws me off
it's hard to say it's hard to say and not sound smug as hell yeah exactly oh yeah we're going to
like a pretentious dickhead we're going there tonight well it's it's french for the politics
people accuse me of being french just because my my last name, but just FYI.
My last name is French.
Yeah, I know.
A lot of people don't know that.
Wait, what?
Do you know how British theory says your last name?
You didn't know that, Dad?
I mean, I thought we did an entire thing
on how it sounds French,
but it's actually Portuguese or something.
No, my last name is 100% French.
My grandfather was adopted.
That's why there's no French connection in my lineage.
You don't know about the French connection
that's how I
we're the exact same thing
we might be brothers
I'm the exact same thing
I don't think we're brothers
dude we might be brothers
low key
probably not
but yeah my last name
is definitely French
huh
that says a lot
my name is derived
from actually Friesland
which was a region
between France
and the Netherlands
you're making that up
so I'm William of Friesland no it still exists in the Netherlands no it doesn't it's got a cool flag what's Friesland, which was a region between France and the Netherlands. You're making that up. So I'm William of Friesland.
No, it still exists
in the Netherlands.
No, it doesn't.
It's got a cool flag.
What's Friesland?
No one's ever been.
It's a region.
It's a northwestern region
of the Netherlands.
I don't think it's very
densely populated
from what I can tell.
That being said,
I know nothing
about the geography
of the Netherlands.
But...
I wouldn't expect you to.
That is my name.
It me. I could tell you this a joke that won't land at la politique is when you try to order the the freedom fries oh did you did you do that i'm not gonna say i did or didn't but i can tell you
that joke does not land man they throw fries on every dish in Paris. It's ridiculous. Yeah. Stop.
I'm pretty lukewarm on French fries, and so I don't get psyched about that.
Look, fries are good.
Everyone loves fries, but it's a throw-in side.
Let's be honest.
Objectively, fries are good, but if I see you have steak frites on your menu as your
regular steak dish, I'm like, I would love some scalloped potatoes or something, or maybe
some mashed potatoes, baked potatoes.
Man, you said.
All grotten?
Oh, don't even get me.
That's top.
That's top.
Just give me some wedge fries.
No, that my mom put in the oven because she didn't have time.
No.
No one's eating wedge fries.
Y'all know what I'm talking about.
Those are trash.
They're all inside.
Those are, like, home fries.
Yeah.
Home fries are such a mail-in.
Just, you know what?
Give me a filet.
Go to Chick-fil-A.
That was not intentional.
And just dump some waffle fries next to my filet, and I'm happy.
See, I love waffle fries.
People don't like this take, but waffle fries in terms of french fries are my bottom fries.
That's crazy.
Not to rank the fries, but I hate the really skinny ones.
I don't know what those are called.
Like the shoestring. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, those are garbage. No, no, no, no. You get like a fistful of them. Yeah the really skinny ones. I don't know what those are called. Like the shoestring.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah, those are garbage.
No, no, no, no.
You get like a fistful of them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, you know.
If the fry can't stand alone on its individual self, to me, it's nothing.
I feel the need to clarify, though.
What you're referring to are not the same as shoestring.
I know what you're talking about.
You're thinking of the ones that are thinner than shoestring.
You're talking about like Clark's, right?
I don't know. I think I're talking about. You're thinking of the ones that are thinner than shoestring. You're talking about like Clark's, right? I don't know.
I think I'm talking about...
Shoestring fries are not as thin as the ones that you are referencing.
If your fries are thinner than McDonald's or Whataburger fries, then they're too thin.
Of course, the goat fries, the curly.
Thank you.
I might fuck with Arby's today.
It's not that hard to figure out.
The goats are curly.
Curly's.
That's the thing about Arby's.
Not only do they have the meats...
Dab me on the curly fries.
They got the fries.
We just dabbed.
Why didn't I get the dab?
You're too far from me, dog.
What did you even say?
I didn't hear what you said.
What did you say?
I don't know.
Okay.
I'm not sure.
Was it memorable?
Oh, I think the name of the fries that you're thinking of are, they're called Continental
Shoestrings.
So I guess they are... they are whatever it hard to say
either way do you like it when the fry is kind of limp and like greasy or do you like the the you
know the stout can stand up on its own fry. I like the greasy part. I do too.
Even though you drop that thing into that fancy ketchup.
You always drop in that thing.
It's so limp.
It doesn't go in the ketchup.
It just rests on top.
It's just a little dab.
I like them greasy.
That's why, yeah.
I don't know.
I know I'm trash for that, but that's just how it is.
No, no, no.
I think a lot of people agree.
When's the last time you had, like, Tato skins?
Tato skins?
Yeah.
Why don't you just say potato skin?
Why do you say Tato?
No one's saying Tato.
Because that's what TGI Friday is, like, the oven ones that you put in the oven.
I've heard Tater and Potato.
Remember when we were sponsored by them?
I've never heard Tato.
Yeah, we were.
Kind of sponsored.
We were influencers for TGI Fridays.
I can say that.
A lot of people can't say that. Most people, in factidays i can say that a lot of people can't say that most people in fact can't say they were fridays dylan can't say that
no offense dylan but you were never a friday's influencer never got to go to fridays and eat
fucking whatever sorry what the hell dude i didn't need to be aggressive with that i enjoy fridays
actually i haven't been in 20 years but yeah you don't take parks there not yet i'm
just taking the lubies that's a great this is a great segue we got anything we need to any house
cleaning yeah we gotta get stuff out of the way first well yeah it's a house clean a lot of people
don't realize that you probably spend about 90 of your life in underwear yeah and so you don't
think you owe it to yourself or no you you owe it to yourself to make sure you're wearing the softest undies.
Yeah, good say.
Like that's just what you need.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say I spend more than 90% of my life in underwear.
Yeah, for sure.
Only when I'm not showering.
For sure.
Yeah.
Me too.
I'll go commando like once in a while if I'm feeling like loco, but like 99% of the time
your boy is wearing underwear.
I'm not a commando boy.
And that's why we only wear MeUndies.
They're the softest underwear.
These things, it's got micromodal fabric.
Are you even familiar with that?
Yeah, I am now.
They're soft as hell.
I know that.
I actually have some on right now.
They're kind of like a, I'd say a maroon color.
Pull them out, dog.
No, I'm not going to pull them out.
Pull them out.
No, that's inappropriate.
They sent me some with alpacas on it.
Yeah, those were lit.
Yeah. I liked them. they yeah uh right now uh i mean they're they're the go-to softest lounge
around the planet you can uh hang out in their lounge pants they have onesies they've got they've
got a whole line of products dylan's probably wearing their socks i saw you upgraded your sock
game recently by wearing some MeUndies socks.
I am wearing their no-show socks.
I love them.
On the little back on the heel, there's a little rubber sticky thing.
Keeps it up on that?
Keeps it up on the heel.
That's all you can ask for.
Where can we find these products?
MeUndies, they have a great offer for our listeners.
For any first-time purchasers, when you go to MeUndies.com,
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That's 15% off a pair of the most
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If you're looking for this offer
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into it. Order yourself some undies.
Get out the door. Be happy.
Okay. Hey, Dylan, you almost
died, dude. I did.
I was a little bit worried that because this happened
Thursday after we recorded
Friday's episode that it's been too
long. No. That's what you were worried about? I was worried that you weren't going to get to do that has been too long. No.
That's what you were worried about?
I was worried that it was... You weren't going to get to do a content bomb with it?
Yeah.
So yeah, here's what happened.
I was at Luby's on Thursday evening.
Explain what Luby's is, because I will say this.
I had literally never heard of it until...
Is it just in the South?
Maybe just in Texas?
No clue.
I had never heard of it until Thanksgiving this year when someone got their turkey from it.
Luby's is a cafeteria-style restaurant.
Frequented by geriatrics.
Yes, it's mostly just old people.
This is great that this happened to you.
Yes, it's mostly just old people.
But it's been a staple in the chivalry household since I was a kid.
We used to go when I was a kid, and I would get a Luan platter.
Per their website, for over 65 years,
Luby's has consistently been serving good food
at reasonable prices.
Find out the region if it's all over the place
because I feel like it is.
Okay.
They do have subsidiaries,
which are tight.
They also own Fuddruckers
and a restaurant that I've never heard of
but I want to go to
called Cheeseburger in Paradise.
Not sure how they got their naming rights for that.
Somebody should write a song about that.
Yeah.
Maybe they got Jimmy on board.
It doesn't look like it.
Huh.
Huh.
We'll find out.
All right, so here's the story, y'all.
So, the homie and I, we went to Luby's.
Explain to the folks at home who that is.
The homie.
Luby's does numbers.
Yeah, dude.
Dude, Luby's is a big deal.
They did $400 million in 2014.
The food goes hard, dog.
Damn.
Anyway, go on.
I'm sorry.
It's easy on the teeth.
So I was with the homie.
That's your son.
Again, yes, that's my son.
I feel like people know that, Dave.
We are getting new listeners.
That's true.
As the numbers will show.
He wanted to get some Jell-O off
And that's great
And he'd never been to Luby's before
That's kind of why we went
Get some Jell-O off
He wanted to get some Jell-O off
Do they actually do Jell-O
Or is it like their proprietary gelatin?
Like is it like
Oh yeah Jell-O is a brand name
I forget that
I'm just curious
I don't know
That's not important
I just wanted to know
I don't know
Cool either way
But the homie likes Jell-O
Because he hasn't figured out
How gross it is yet Because he's a kid It's fun to eat Jell-O know. I don't know. Cool. Either way. But the homie likes Jell-O because he hasn't figured out how gross it is yet because he's
a kid.
It's fun to eat.
Jell-O was very well branded when I was a kid and I wanted it too.
Okay.
Luby's is almost exclusively in Texas.
Okay.
They have one location that is not in Texas and it's in Mississippi.
Okay.
So it's comparable to like Furs.
Yeah.
It's a cafeteria style.
So you get a tray and you walk down the line and you tell them what you want.
They put it on your tray and you pay at the end and you go.
Do you know that you've been misspelling Luann Platter on Twitter this entire time?
I spelled it once.
Is there an E or no?
Luann, they separate with two words.
Don't throw the horns at me like that.
No, this is the two outs in baseball.
horns at me like that no this is the this is the two outs in baseball uh they they said they do two words but it is the inspiration for the name luan platter on king of the hill yeah yeah yeah but
they're but they're spelled differently i just learned on wikipedia it's a very texas thing
yeah interesting okay uh anyway we we pull into luby's we go go in, and we grab our trays, and we're ordering our food.
Of course, I got the chicken fried steak.
Well, yeah, it's because it's all you eat.
It's your signature platter.
So they had served me my chicken fried steak.
They had served me my green beans.
And I'm ordering for Parks and me.
Parks is the homie, by the way.
I'm imagining these green beans being the kind that you can just put in your mouth,
press against the roof of your mouth, and they just are done.
They had two different kinds of green beans.
They had canned, basically, is what it looked like.
Then they had some legit ones.
I don't know why they had...
A little bacon grease in there?
Yeah, they had some legit ones.
It's lit.
Yeah.
So we're standing there, and we hear a crash right behind us and i thought
someone dropped a stack of trays that's what it sounded like it was loud but not alarmingly so
you thought stone cold was walking through that door i just thought someone was carrying trays
and dropped it and because when someone does something embarrassing like that you don't want
to make them feel worse about it so i didn't even look i was like yeah that's you know that's unfortunate but i'm not gonna make them
feel worse you seem like the kind of guy who would clap when a waiter no no no no come on those people
are trash someone did that at a restaurant like a couple weeks ago i was at like a waiter dropped
a or a busboy dropped a bunch of dishes and the people at the table next to me clapped i was like
fucking grow up that happened to me when i was a waiter, that person was going to be waiting extra long for their order,
and their food might have been cold.
That's messed up.
Is there a more hater move than clapping when someone drops?
That was a messed up move to do in middle school, and everyone's a dickhead.
You still don't do that.
Man, I felt bad for that busboy.
Anyway, this is about movies.
You just looked so devastated.
You just stared into the mic blankly.
You just don't do that to someone.
He's trying to make an honest buck.
I feel bad when anything like that happens to someone who's working a job that's not super high paying.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
I mean, like a job that nobody wants to be a busboy forever.
No.
Come on.
No.
Let him do his thing.
Anyway, we hear a crash behind us, and it starts to, you know, it won't stop.
The crash continues, and it gets a little bit louder.
We turn around, and there's a Honda Civic coming through the building.
I'm not kidding.
It missed us by 12 feet.
There's shattered glass.
How fast is this thing going?
Not fast.
It wasn't like, yeah.
I mean, they're coming from a parking lot.
They're probably going.
They probably hit the building going 15 okay that's fast 15 because it went all the way through you don't
want to get you don't want to get in front of a car that's going 15 miles an hour no you don't
but at the same time it's not going to kill you no it'll it'll rough you up but it's not going to
kill you well i'm the only person in this room that's been actually run over by a car you have
been yeah like yeah i can confirm that it won't kill you but it will definitely fuck up your leg yeah and so it just kept coming
through and when you see something like that happening sometimes your brain is slow to process
it because it's like wow there's a car coming through the building where i'm standing fight or
flight yeah it was weird i like my brain i was like what is this really happening and so i had
a delayed reaction did you fight or did you finally i was like oh what, is this really happening? And so I had a delayed reaction. Did you fight or did you not?
And finally I was like, oh shit.
Like the ceiling was caving in.
So I grabbed Parks and I just took off.
I ran over by like where the cash register is.
So you didn't fight?
There's nothing to fight.
I would have squared up to that Civic.
No, see.
Get real low with the Civic.
No, see.
Just get down there.
Switch stances on him.
And so people were like running up to to
us saying like are you guys okay like yeah we just had glass at our feet were you the closest to it
was there no one else we were the closest to it yeah we were absolutely they they shut it we're
the last ones to get food that night they shut the whole thing so did you get a gift card or
no we yeah you you should have asked for a gift okay it's funny because everyone working there
behind the counter whatever serving the food and doing everything,
they all left their post.
They all grabbed their phones and they went up to this car and they were just recording it.
I was like, okay.
World star!
To be fair, I got a couple picks off too.
Let me ask you this.
When she did this and it was a female driver, did she get out or did anybody go check on her?
Yeah, she got out.
It was, I mean, she wasn't going very fast.
So it was obvious that she was okay.
And she got out and she wasn't drunk.
She was, I assumed it was an old ass person because we're at Luby's, you know?
Oh, what?
And old people just don't drive very well, Dave.
She didn't pop her head out of the window and go, like a glove.
She did not do that.
She got out and she said.
People forget about Ace Ventura.
She got out and she said, forget about Ace Ventura she got out
and she said
I couldn't stop it
I couldn't stop it
like why couldn't you stop it
did you try
did you try the break
I'm sure
I'm sure that was
she probably
didn't do it on purpose
it turned to the options
that she was exploring
I would think
that the break
would be top three
she wasn't drinking
and I know that
because when the police arrived
she wasn't cuffed or anything
they were just talking to her
like she wasn't drinking
she just mixed up the gas and the break I guess I wasn't cuffed or anything. They were just talking to her. She wasn't drinking.
She just mixed up the gas and the break, I guess.
I don't know what happened.
She was just fired up on bang energy.
Maybe so.
We can't prove that.
And so it was funny because I was sitting in my tray.
They had served me my chicken fried steak already and my green beans,
but not yet my macaroni and cheese.
And I was like, hey, someone get over here. And they walked up and they were like, do you still want to eat?
I was like,
I mean, yeah,
I'm still hungry
and the food's,
you know,
you've already served me most of it.
They were like,
okay, well,
I was like,
yeah,
I want some mac and cheese.
And they were just so distracted
by the commotion.
It took me like three more minutes
to get my mac and cheese.
But finally I did.
How dare they?
And I got to the end
and I paid.
They accepted my money and then they shut it down did. How dare they? And I got to the end and I paid. They accepted my money
and then they shut it down.
They just,
they put off,
by that point,
the cops had arrived
and they put caution tape
on the whole section.
I probably would have
given you your meal for free,
but that's just me.
I think I deserved
a free meal.
There could have been
glass in my food.
I'm sure they were
tossing it around mentally.
They probably shouldn't
have served me.
They didn't do anything wrong.
No, I don't think they did anything wrong.
No, no.
I gladly paid.
But you probably want to get people out of there as soon as possible.
They probably should not have let me eat there because it could have been, like I said, glass shards in my food.
Then that's a problem.
Did they have sneeze guards on the buffet line and stuff?
Of course.
You're good then.
They protect against glass.
My chicken fried steak was already on my tray, Will.
I had it in front of me.
You're good then.
Well, my... They protect against glass.
My chicken fried steak was already on my tray, Will.
I had it in front of me.
I do have information regarding Cheeseburger in Paradise when we're ready.
I'm always ready for that kind of information.
That pretty much covers it.
Just time out.
We're doing the Cheeseburger thing.
Was the homie stirred?
He wasn't stirred, and I think because he doesn't really process the severity of the situation.
Yeah.
Like...
If he was like two years older, I could see him being kind of freaked out by it.
Yeah.
But he was like, wow, that was really loud.
I can't believe there's a car in here, pretty much, and that was it.
He told me he was bummed out that the Kool-Aid man didn't come jumping through.
He told you that?
That's what he was saying.
When did you guys talk?
I don't...
We were talking the other day at the...
At CeCe's?
No, I was at Gaddy's.
Gross.
Don't say gross about Mr. Gaddy's.
Gaddy's is not good.
But it's at Cici's.
No, it's not.
Earlier we talked about Cheeseburger in Paradise
and we were wondering if that had any affiliation to one Jimmy Buffett.
It has to.
Who has a literal license to chill.
But does he have a license to have a cheeseburger
in Paradise Bar and Grill?
As it turns out,
this was named in 1989.
Jimmy Buffett
did not have any
affiliation with it.
But
he sued
in September 2009.
Or, I'm sorry.
Jimmy Buffett
was only a royalty partner
receiving 2% of the profits
until selling
Paradise Restaurant Group to the whatever blah blah blah.
Essentially, he sued.
They gave him 2% of everything.
Dude, fuck yeah, Jimmy.
Wow.
Get money, Jimmy.
He's strapped.
Good for him.
Yeah.
I mean, not good for him.
I would say he should have been probably getting way more than that in the beginning.
You can't just name a restaurant after like i thought you said that came first the no no no what year
did cheeseburger in paradise get written uh what i think way before 89 wasn't it that's a song where
i i know it's not a 60s song i know it's not a 70s i would have said you could tell me anywhere
from 1980 to 1999 and I would believe it.
See?
I was actually going to say... I was going to say 1979
and I was actually too late.
What?
1978.
Well, just take everything I said
and throw it out the window.
1978.
That's wild.
It was on the
Son of a Son of a Sailor album
which was recorded in 1977.
Came out March 17th.
So when she got out of the car, was she just like,
everybody okay?
No, I think she was too embarrassed.
She stayed in the car for a minute.
She didn't want to get out.
Even though the panels were crashing
down on her glass over her car.
Is it true you got the number?
I did not get the number, David.
You said it was going to be a meet-cute.
No one said that. Like, how'd y'all meet? I did not get the number, David. You said it was going to be a meet-cute. No one said that.
Like, how'd y'all meet?
People will say that there's shooters everywhere.
And the people working there were so funny, though.
They just completely abandoned their responsibilities at the restaurant.
I would, too.
Just to go get some pics and videos.
I never talked about it on the show when I saw the girl in the Miata get hit by a semi-truck.
You called me after.
Did I ever even tell you about that dylan no few weeks
ago i'm driving down the highway and i see a bunch of smoke coming up in like six cars ahead of me
and i'm like what the hell's going on well it turns out this young lady and by young lady i
mean like mid-20s was driving a white miata not a new one definitely a vintage one and i think what
happened was that she was getting over into the other lane and she got clipped by a semi truck
the semi truck just pinned the miata against the front of the car and was just pushing the
miata sideways along the ground like a snowplow yes holy shit and so i can see the back end of the miata just getting
pushed and i'm like oh fuck this could be bad and then traffic really started to slow down and
people were obviously rubbernecking and i was like well you don't even i don't even know if
you want to look like this girl could easily be dead the truck trying to stop yeah okay oh like
frantically trying to stop and then the second the car actually stopped i was like really close to it
at that point because traffic was just kind of slowly moving by it as it went over and i was like dude
will don't even look like this could be bad there could be like blood everywhere you don't fucking
know yeah for sure girl was totally fine wow it was so bizarre and if you see a miata going up
how bizarre my truck it's not ending well for the Miata. Oh, bizarre. Wait, was the...
What?
The guy's got a total, like, his nasal passages totally, like, fucked up.
What, was the top dropped on this thing?
Yeah.
That's the important question.
Yeah.
Damn.
It was.
Like, dude, it could have been real bad.
Needless to say, her white Miata is officially probably gone, if I had to guess.
Question for you guys.
Do y'all appreciate me a little bit more now that I almost lost my life?
I'll be honest, not at all.
It sounds like you almost lost maybe an ACL or something.
You would have blown a knee.
I almost lost my life.
The homie, too.
So you all should appreciate us.
I appreciate the homie more.
I appreciate the homie more.
You, not really.
Okay.
I'll take it.
How did you not end up on the news?
I feel like this is a missed content opportunity for you.
Yeah, why didn't you stick around?
I ate my meal there, dude.
Yeah, but why didn't you stick around and be like,
hey, you guys need an interview or anything?
I walked outside and there were no news crews there.
I didn't even see any news coverage of this.
Did the police interview you?
No.
What are they, no witness statements?
Come on.
I only saw them talking to the lady that was driving.
That was it.
A kid from my high school,
this will age me or date me a little bit.
He put his truck through a Blockbuster video.
He wasn't drunk.
I think it was like the middle of the fucking day.
Dude, my mom is known for just leaving her car and drive and just getting out.
It's not something you want to be known for no why does she do that she's done
it twice and like that i that i've known and i would assume that she's been embarrassed and not
told me other times but one time her car was just pressed up against a gas station just like
driving at the gas station yeah an idol that's funny it's like what are you doing so when i tell
that blockbuster story i don't know if this is true or not but i always say they're like well
did it do a lot of damage i always say that it hit the uh you know blockbuster was set up with like the aisles
i'm like yeah dude he tipped like five of them over like a domino effect that's what it created
i don't know if that's true but it's probably probable depending on which angle i imagine most
of them though being a long hallway it's they do it like they run parallel with the rest there with
the entire long blockbuster.
Was there anything worse for your dad or mom,
like a parent taking their kid to blockbuster,
than when you finally, you've been there for 45 minutes trying to pick out a movie for your fucking kid
and his little buddy they're having a sleepover,
that you've got to go get in line.
And that line is lined with just the worst candy in the world,
best and worst, their trash-ass popcorn, Twizzlers, all that stuff.
And so for the next 15 minutes,
because it takes forever to check out a Blockbuster
because somebody inevitably forgot their Blockbuster card.
They've got to look it up with a license.
You're sitting there and your kid's trying to get every piece of horrible chocolate.
Damn.
I just remember beating my dad down and throwing Twizzlers at him and he's like
do I need to cue the Steam Room sound effect right now?
we don't need to spite the ball
because Blockbuster is no longer with us
there's one
there is one
privately owned
and you overlook the fact that
every single time
there's kids hounding their parents for quarters
so that
they can try to get the gumball that gives them the free movie my kid will never ever put a quarter
in a gumball machine why let him live a little bit gumball is bottom tier gum there was it is
bottom tier fun man no they're not fuck out of here oh wait are you that parent what do you mean
is your is your son doing the gumball machine no he's never done one but i'm
not gonna stop him i i think i saw 60 minutes in the 90s where they're like look at all the roach
doo-doo that's in these gumballs definitely i love roach like if you're high key high key if you're a
roach and they have like the gumball machine with like the thing that the carousel that goes down
like you're sliding down that all night. That's how those lights get hit?
You're just fucking having a...
There's party time in there.
That's destination.
That is like the Sandals Jamaica of the roach world.
Yeah.
They're just floating around.
They're just going around chilling.
It's like a ball pit for cockroaches.
It's all-inclusive.
All-inclusive.
Wow.
I want to pivot a little bit if that's okay.
What, from cockroaches partying in gumball machines
yeah okay did you ever see joe's apartment why is that so familiar sounding mtv movie and it's a
guy yeah i definitely saw that singing and talking or i think they were singing i don't know they're
i feel like the same people that did the cockroach like graphics for that did like the men in black
alien graphics for the dudes that are chilling out.
Let's pivot.
All right.
Was it you that dropped the Instagram account from that hound dog into the text group?
Dave, look.
Yes, it was.
It was actually a bird dog of the day featuring this account.
I can't.
I'm like, I've become obsessed with this dog.
I noticed you tweeted it out, I think, yesterday.
It's like the best looking dog I've ever seen.
I feel like I'm creeping on it like it's my new crush or something.
I just find myself just wandering over to his Instagram account.
Where can the folks at home find this?
Let me look it up.
I feel like I'm just creeping on this dog, but I just...
It's a Braco Italiano is the breed.
It's a hound dog.
It's the dopest hound dog I've ever seen.
It's not like a short-legged hound dog, though.
Like a basset.
Kaju.footprints, and that's C-A-J-U.footprints is the Instagram handle.
And this dog is just the best-looking dog I've ever seen.
Didn't they call you the Foot Prince in high school?
It's inappropriate how much time
I spent on this dog's account. Wait, what did you say?
Holy shit, I've got a foot story that is
actually applicable to this pod, and
maybe after the break we'll talk about it.
Have y'all ever even heard of this breed before?
No, I had never heard of it.
And I consider myself to be pretty well versed in terms
of the bird dog community. I'm the number one
authority on Italian dogs. It looks like it's
a half bloodhound, half German short-haired pointer like a cross between those two it's tight
it's the coolest looking dog ever i want to go fuck up a covey with this dog i mean i'm on record
saying i'm gonna look for a um uh a mutt of some sort um but if someone of these falls in my lap
how do i not pull the trig? Pull trig.
You should look into it.
They've got to be pretty rare.
Yeah, I feel like that dog is going to cost a lot of money.
Yeah, this is a $10,000 dog. You're not going to a local shelter and scooping one.
It's a $3,000 dog.
You're not going to the shelter and just scooping up a whatever it is.
A Braco Italiano?
Braco Italiano.
Man, what a dog.
Okay, sorry.
I just had to talk about him because I just can't stop thinking about him.
Well, no.
Dylan, this brings up the thing that you said you wanted to talk about before the podcast.
Adopting versus buying from a breeder.
No, we don't need to get into that.
Go on with your thoughts, Dylan.
We're not done.
Go on with your thoughts.
I saw a great Pyrenees at the gas station on my way home from Dallas yesterday.
I will say I encourage all of you to adopt
did you pet it?
no but I was driving out
and this lady was walking the thing
and letting me use the bathroom
and I rolled down my window
and I asked is that an English Creamer or a Pyrenees
and she's like oh she's a Pyrenees she's 10
and I just gassed her up
I was like that's a beautiful dog
have a good one
she's like oh thanks and that was it
that's the story there's been a a good one. She's like, oh, thanks. And that was it. That's the story.
There's been a large uptick in German Shepherds at my apartment complex lately.
And Rosie is both scared of them and loves playing with them.
She's just always treading the line like, all right, I'm going to try to go after this one.
I think she's got a low-key crush on one of them.
But I don't hate it.
I'm a big German Shepherd guy.
Yeah.
That would make a cute couple.
Just imagine the presence you have
just walking into a patio bar
with this dude at your side.
You're going to get a lot of questions
because that's a dog breed
that you never really see.
Yeah.
We hadn't.
We were unfamiliar.
It's got the head of kind of a basset hound,
but doesn't have as long ears.
What a...
Okay, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
You're just smitten right now.
I'm smitten.
It's cute.
Should we talk about our friends over at Liquid IV?
Let's talk Liquid IV.
This is a good preface
for our Worst Weekend story.
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Of course they are.
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I was sick recently,
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Rehydrate, recuperate.
I didn't have a full-blown hangover yesterday
after going out with you on Saturday Night Dylan,
but I had a little sting in the morning, and I was like, you know what?
I don't want to drink a full glass of water right now.
I'm going to toss some Liquid IV up in this.
For those of you that don't know, Liquid IV hydrates you faster and more efficiently than water alone
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When you're properly hydrated hydrated you allow your body
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like when you're traveling the hardest thing to do is like you don't want to go pee on the plane
constantly so you got to get that liquid IV in you
so you don't have
as much liquid
coursing to you
I would say that
keep a couple
in your backpack
or your dop kit
your travel bag
that's what I do
golf bag
it's true
I've seen them do it
golf bag
good call
yeah
it's not your average
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Damn.
Specifically passion fruit.
My God.
No one was expecting a personal endorsement after that.
On God.
But here we are.
It's so good.
Should we do a worst weekend story?
Let's do it.
You guys want to get a tinky off real quick?
I love these.
It's your call.
Now mine.
Dave, you trying to tink?
No, I'm good.
Go ahead.
Wow.
Okay. story you guys want to get a tinky off real quick it's your call now i'm not trying to go no i'm good go ahead wow okay uh as you know i actually have forgotten the last two weeks to ask for worst weekend stories but that's because i actually have a pretty good backlog if you do
have a worst weekend story of your own i would prefer if you sent it to will at washmedia.com
i will put it in my queue and you might hear your story on this podcast.
As always, these are anonymous.
Any names have been changed.
And we're trying not to incriminate anybody.
Are you guys ready for this week?
Yes, sir.
Yes.
The title of this email is Worst Weekend Story, Hijacked Bachelor Party.
Uh-oh.
This sounds like a shitty teen movie. Like thriller movie.
Hijacked bachelor party.
He says,
Will, I write this to you three weeks after the following events occurred at one of my best friend's bachelor parties.
The location, IU, B-Town.
I assume that's...
Look, kids, we don't know your little names for cities.
I'm going to assume that's Indiana University, and I forget what the name of the city is.
Oh, Bloomington? Bloomington. So I'm going to assume that's Indiana University, and I forget what the name of the city is, but I think it's Bloomington.
So I'm going to assume that's B-Town.
The plan for the night was to have some drinks,
cook some mean steaks, hell yeah,
and hit the local bars with the boys.
Nothing crazy, just wanted to enjoy drinks together and have a good time.
Was this a whole weekend?
Yeah, that's my question.
You can't say nothing crazy
when you're going to a bachelor party in B-Town.
Yeah, that sounds like something crazy.
There were eight of us.
One of the groomsmen, we'll call him Tim, was a guy I went to high school with,
but I personally did not hang out with him regularly like my best friend, the groom, did.
Tim kept pushing for all of us to go to a strip club all day.
Chill out, Tim.
That was me saying chill out, Tim.
There's always the one Tim in that group, you know?
Always the one Tim.
Okay, Tim.
We usually call him the Dylan.
You want to go see Tim?
Stop.
I'm just kidding. We don't. We don't. Dylan's not a strip club down. Okay, Tim. We usually call him the Dylan. You want to go see Tim? Stop. I'm just kidding.
We don't.
Dylan's not a strip club guy.
I can confirm.
He said none of us wanted to go, so we brushed it off with some laughs.
As the night went on around 8 p.m., Tim said our Ubers had arrived to take us to a strip club.
By this point, we were pretty drunk.
There is always a Tim in the group.
Are they still in B-Town?
They're still in the B-Steezy.
That doesn't sound like it.
Tim, I'm going to go ahead and peg Tim as a catalyst for everything that goes wrong with this story.
You've got to think Tim takes the decisions that led them down a bad road.
Original T-man.
Dude, I feel like people don't prioritize strip clubs on bachelor parties like they used to.
And that's probably a good thing.
But maybe we're just aging out of that demographic.
If you're in Vegas, you're going to go to whatever, Spearmint Rhino, I guess.
But the last bachelor party I went on, it never even came up.
And there was no shortage.
We were in LA.
There's hella strip clubs.
Did millennials ruin it?
People are saying that millennials ruin strip clubs.
I actually read that.
69 Reasons Millennials Ruin Strip Clubs on BuzzFeed last week.
Damn.
Two cars pulled into the nearby parking lot
and Tim spoke with them for about 10 minutes about their cars.
Weird.
Yeah?
Tim's a car guy.
Yeah, like, pop the hood, playboy.
He likes cars in boobs.
He then came back and told us to get in the cars.
Obviously, you don't talk to Ubers for 10 minutes
and they don't give a group of five guys
with them rolling around town.
I don't get that sentence, but you understand.
Normally, you don't chat with the driver about their car.
Confused, we all asked him what the hell was going on after questioning for 10 minutes or so.
He confessed that he had, quote, over $800 tied up in the strip club and highly suggested we get in the cars.
So, Tim, it sounds like he had made some under the table deals here to get the men to the
strip club.
Oh, he wasn't running the tab.
He was.
What?
I'm confused.
It says, quote, he had over $800 tied up in the strip club.
Like, it's not the stock market.
No.
Why does it sound like.
Let's go on and see how this goes.
His portfolio is just made up of these kind of investments.
Officially sketched out, we all took a hard pass,
and Tim decided to go with the strange Uber drivers anyway,
even though we told him not to.
It sounds like he already had paid for stuff at the strip club
for these boys to enjoy,
and that's why he was adamant about getting there.
And I'm going to assume that the cars might have been part of the reason...
Who prepays at the strip club?
Wait, did he buy a car?
No.
But I think that the drivers were people from the strip club who would bring high clientele to.
In B-Town, though?
Yeah, be nasty.
I have to admit, I know nothing about B-Town.
I don't either.
I probably won't ever make my way through there.
After spending another hour
and a half trying to figure out what was going on we decided to file a police report since we
didn't know what the hell tim was doing and why he owed someone eight hundred dollars for going to
the strip club that's fair i have no clue a police report in an hour and a half that's pretty
aggressive though the police were little to no help and tim wouldn't answer his phone so we said
screw it and just started walking to the bars. I'm officially worried about Tim.
Tim's in trouble.
I'm imagining, like, this is like a bootleg hangover
where the groom doesn't go missing, but just some random dude,
and they're like, okay, should we actually try to find him
or just let him fend for himself?
Once we were about 70 yards away,
we see two cars pull back into the lot next to the groom's house,
so we hid and watched them.
Tim got out of the car, attempted to knock on the door, and told the Uber group that he had to go inside and couldn't help them. Tim made a deal.
I think Tim might have been buying some.
And then a police cruiser pulled up behind them.
The officer didn't pull them over, so I sprinted towards them, got the officer's attention,
told her what was going on, and sped off with their lights on.
And she sped off with their lights on.
An hour later, the officer calls the groom's phone.
She said that Tim was safe and with four Haitian men in the car who had passports
and somehow did not find that suspicious.
I don't know anything about the Haitian community in B-Town.
Wait, the...
Okay.
Tim arrived at the strip club, called the groom, and asked why we called the cops.
Tim continued to refuse to have us buy him an Uber to come back home
and kept highly suggesting we meet him at the strip club.
At this point, we can only assume that Tim owes these people a large amount of money
for drugs or something and he's being held against his will.
All of us are extremely pissed that he
got himself involved in this situation and he won't
answer our questions about what the hell is going
on.
So we have no resolution. Tim's a sketchball, man.
I'm going to
say that there isn't a Tim in every friend group
at this point. No. At first, when you have
the strip club guy, there's definitely that guy.
We all got the strip club guy.
But it sounds like Tim's maybe a little in he's in a little deeper midnight rolls around tim's tim arrives
back at the groom and he tries to pull us outside to meet their uber friends like dude he's got to
ditch these guys we pull his ass inside and begin barrage barraging him berating maybe barraging
barraging him with questions he thinks it's a joke and tried to shake it off, told us to fuck off.
So I swept his feet, put him in a choke, and the other guys pull me off and we get him on the couch.
Wait, I'm sorry.
Wait.
Time out.
Time out.
Time out.
He swept the leg?
They got physical with him.
He swept the leg.
You don't see that.
Just a trip?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He took his ass out.
I thought maybe he tabletopped him.
And then he put him in a choke.
Yeah, and then they threw him on the couch.
We begin interrogating him, but he won't answer the questions about who the Uber drivers were
or why he had money tied up in the strip club.
Extremely pissed, I grab all of his stuff, throw it outside, and tell him to get the
hell out because he endangered everyone and hijacked the bachelor party.
He finally leaves around 2 a.m., but to this day has still not answered any of our questions
about that night. So much for a chill night and to answer your question yes he is still in the wedding this
rehearsal dinner should be fantastic well um i don't know if it was safe for you to kick him out
i understand why you did you might have made he's lucky he's i can understand the reasoning for
kicking him out i know they thought all, these sketchy characters in these cars, they know where we are now.
Are they going to come looking for our boy Tim?
Were they staying at an Airbnb?
Did I miss that?
I'm going to assume that.
I'm going to assume so, too.
Doesn't sound like it was a traditional hotel.
Yeah.
This Tim guy.
I feel like both parties Handled this situation
Interestingly
Tim probably shouldn't
Have done what he did
But
At the same time
Is sweeping the leg
On this guy
And putting him in a choke
Like really the move
It seems
It seems a little aggressive
When's the last time
You swept the leg
On anybody
If ever
It's been a while
When's the last time
You got tabletopped
Dude I don't
That's such a sorry move.
No, I like tabletopping.
I think it's funny.
Honestly, I really think it was like
Sal Padre spring break, like 2006.
Yeah.
We used to do it...
It's a beach move.
That's an environment ripe for a tabletop.
Yeah, because it's sand.
Even though that's sand, you know, when it's...
Sure.
It was a big soccer practice move for us.
Just tabletopping people.
Yeah, it's a shit move, but tabletopping people. Yeah.
It's a shit move,
but it's fun.
Yeah.
Sweep the leg, though.
You don't see that.
No.
It's some karate shit.
If I swept a leg on somebody,
there's a very high chance that their feet,
if they're firmly planted
into the ground,
just stop my leg completely.
Yeah.
Probably got to get them
from the back.
I'm just thinking of street fighter moves
that's all
you wanna give out
of Japan right now
don't you
no I don't
okay
go ahead Dave
the mic is yours dog
I have a quick story
go ahead
from the weekend
a friend
who we know
I'm not gonna name
any names
we can talk about it later
his wife
uses one of those services where you can put your old clothes that you don't want up for sale who we know i'm not going to name any names we can talk about it later his wife uh uses a one
of those services where you can you can put your your old clothes that you don't want up for sale
for auction and like it can connect you with the buyer and there's like a back and forth yeah well
she was selling some and now my ladies will know this uh mossimo blue patent flats with jewel decor well worn selling some shoes okay
she got a buyer it's a guy in another state and he issues this message do not clean them
i want them just the way they are foot fetish guy yeah then she says uh she cancels the deal she's like this is weird
he responds uffing c middle finger emoji wow he came on a little strong at the end there
that seems unnecessary i agree we we've previously said on this podcast
or another small to mid-sized podcast
that we've been on in the past
that what you do in your home is your business
yes
that being said I've never really understood
a lot of fetishes
specifically foot fetish
there are a lot of them out there man
I can maybe understand other fetishes people have
you could sell me on it
not for me to do it but I could be accepting of it and be like, that makes sense.
The feet thing, just, it makes no sense to me.
Yeah, I don't, yeah, they like the smell of it.
It's weird.
It's weird.
I don't know.
How much was she selling these shoes for?
Oh, I mean, five or ten bucks.
Oh, okay, cheap.
Yeah.
But to be so into feet that you're into, into like shoes that have worn, you know, people have
worn.
Like, come on.
It's just a little piece of leather.
People sell that shit like on like Reddit and stuff.
Something else that, the real reason I brought this up is I always forget that Mossimo is
now like a target brand for women.
Because I was a Mossimo guy in the 90s.
Oh, I was too site for sore eyes tea
you know i don't remember any of this you don't remember mossimo they had that shirt and it was
the lettering was really blurry i can still see the font it said a site for sore eyes yeah look
out mossimo you would know the logo mossimo was what you wore with uh your soccer shorts you had
to have mossimo t-shirt as a kid oh i'll be honest i'll be honest
i i honestly had no clue that's what that shirt actually said i definitely had these too blurry
for your eyes yeah i definitely had these shirt like one of these shirts but i didn't know that
it was called mossimo you got some weak ass retinas did you y'all ever have i mean you had
peace frog obviously i actually did not i had the big three yaga stussy
i don't know are you that's the big three yeah dog no fear you could toss no fear in there too
it's arguably the fifth major you guys clearly didn't live fun do good which is the official
slogan of peace frog if you wore peace frog in dunkerville you got your ass whipped that's
actually very very fair
I get that
I understand
the amount of times
that I would just draw
the Peace Frog
was just through the roof
I was too busy
trying to draw
the old English S
I feel like you were
definitely a Stussy S
I used to crush that
I was
you did?
you know what I'm talking about
or
I used to shade it in
and everything
it would look dope
I actually got that tattooed on my shoulder.
Yeah, I know.
I've seen it.
I would love to see Dylan's current day art skills.
Dude, let's do a sip and paint class.
That's what I'm doing.
Those look kind of fun.
Okay, I didn't want to announce this now.
I didn't want to announce this now,
but for my bachelor party,
I have officially booked a sip and paint class.
I thought we were going to Bloomington.
Those look kind of fun.
We're going to B-Town.
They don't look fun, dude. No one's painting has ever been cool enough to hang up coming out of
those art classes. That's not true. Idea.
Sip and see? Or what is that? Sip
and paint? Whatever. Instead of painting,
you just go tag up the side of a
building. Like graffiti shit. That's illegal, Dave.
That's defacing property.
That's edgy, though. What's your problem?
I had a buddy who got into that in high school.
He was terrible at it.
Sip and seeing?
No, like he tried to get into tagging,
and he would tag little buildings around Duncanville.
It was horrible.
Tagging is certified not to move.
The people who were really good at it, it's awesome to see.
If you go around Deep Ellum in Dallas, you'll see some awesome stuff.
In Austin, though, I feel like, I guess maybe if you go to the east side,
but all you see is stuff that that people tagged so people the business owners
will have people doing instagram photos next to their building like the i love you so much
when i had when i took the history of hip-hop there was we did an entire week's worth of
curriculum on tagging what's was this in high school no no I was a freshman oh
and we did
yeah we did an entire week
on tagging
we learned all about it
I didn't retain much
from that
that week
but it was pretty interesting
watched some documentaries
on it
it was pretty cool
I could never tag
you can't fuck up
I'm not a Banksy boy
what's you want to be careful who's graffiti you're covering up.
Yeah, you might get got.
That's a fact.
You might...
How did we get here?
Where did this come from?
We went from Peace Frog to...
Let's name it.
Stussy, Yaga, Mossimo.
I'm throwing no fear in there.
I know you were a no fear guy
You have to
There's no fear
I didn't
The people that wore no fear
I just kind of thought of them
As being
A little
Is it the modern day tap out shirt?
Kind of
That's a great call
I would just assume
That they were a little different than me
I can't really explain why
They were just a little different
Well you had fear
And they did not have fear
That's true
That's true
When I see a guy
Currently in a tap out shirt I think either one He can completely beat my ass Or two He's just a total different. Well, you had fear and they did not have fear. That's true. That's true. When I see a guy currently in a tap out shirt,
I think either one,
he can completely beat my ass
or two,
he's just a total douche bag.
Or maybe both.
Or three,
he's acquired a time machine.
There was a dude
at the grocery store
the other day.
Yeah, that too.
There was a dude
at the grocery store.
He was wearing one of those
backpacks with the string
arms on it.
Those are the worst backpacks.
The ones,
the giveaway backpacks?
Yeah, who's doing that?
It was a Bang Energy one.
Okay, get out of here.
That's different.
He was in terrible shape,
and I thought about sniping a photo
because it was hilarious,
but then I was like,
you know what?
I'm not going to blast this.
I'm not going to put this guy on blast.
He doesn't need that in his life.
Nice of you.
He shouldn't be wearing
that Bang Energy thing, though.
It's such a give-up backpack.
Dylan, I'm banking on you being
a yes but did you ever own did either of y'all ever have the t-shirts with bugs and taz or like
the like wearing like crisscross clothes no like throwing the peace sign never did okay did you
ever wear bugle boy i had bugle boy jeans yeah when i was like four bugle boy went fucking hard
i was more of a lee pipes guy but they have a i just looked up bugle boy like just stuff
they have an ad for bugle boy men and it appears as though it's a photo of bon jovi
trucking a dude wearing full football pads.
You don't see that.
Isn't he part owner of an arena team or something?
Yeah, Philadelphia.
Or at least he was at one point.
I'm not sure if he still is.
It seems like an investment you wouldn't keep for a long time.
That's a good way to diversify your portfolio.
You've got money tied up in the strip clubs in B-Town.
You've got some money tied up in arena football.
It's just,
you gotta have that shit everywhere these days.
What's up with Gronk retiring?
He retired.
I think people
paying attention
saw this coming.
Yeah, no,
he had definitely mentioned it.
And the Patriots
had been planning
without him.
Dude, his body
is just
deteriorating fast.
This is a smart move for him.
He's got nothing left to prove.
No.
He's the GOAT tight end.
He'll probably end up in B-Town, right?
Probably.
I'm not going to get over that.
Why doesn't he just not play the regular season,
just wait for the injuries to pan out,
and then just stay in shape,
and then just sign a quick contract
at the last minute for the playoffs.
I wouldn't rule him out being signed before the playoffs
this next year.
Or maybe go in the booth for a year.
Have an awkward chemistry with your...
He can't be a booth guy.
And then just come back to the Patriots after a year.
That would never happen on a serious network channel.
The only thing he could do is replace that Booger guy.
That's what I'm talking about.
On the Gronkmobile. Booger McFarlane. That guy stinks. Put some respect on his name. do is replace that Booger guy. That's what I'm talking about. On the Gronkmobile.
Booger McFarlane.
That guy stinks.
Put some respect on his name.
I don't like Booger out on the field.
They need to have them all in the same booth.
That would be like if we did this podcast and Will's just in the other room inexplicably.
It would be the weirdest thing.
Honestly, I just want them to bring back Kornheiser and Dennis Miller, but that's just me.
Was Dennis Miller on there with Kornheiser?
Dennis Miller was the worst.
He stunk.
Okay.
Whoever thought of that was just an idiot.
Yeah.
That was so bad.
He's ridding them the riot act right now.
This is my Dennis Miller.
Come on.
It's not good.
Look, nobody has a good Dennis Miller.
It wasn't terrible.
I heard they're going to get Bill Maher next.
He nailed him to the wall like the Magna Carta.
All right, that's all I got.
You know, we're trending towards an hour right now.
Do we want to get to that Mueller stuff you want to talk about, Dave?
What if they got Norm in the booth?
That'd be great.
That'd be awesome.
What are they going to do?
Do we know?
Are they going to bring Peyton in there?
What?
Intern Peyton?
No, no, no, not intern Peyton
Are they looking for someone to
They have to replace Jason Witten with somebody
Oh, I forgot about that
That's what I was talking about
What the fuck is he doing?
He's going to play for the Dallas Cowboys
Why?
Because he can't leave the game alone
Isn't he like 39?
Correct
Gronk's sitting there with the hand on the chin emoji,
just like, what is my man doing?
Well, the difference is Jason Witten's essentially,
I'm not going to say never played with athleticism like Gronk.
He's never been as athletic.
But he's not asked as much?
Yeah.
Does he block as much as Gronk did?
He's a superior blocking tight end.
Okay.
But that yak, which is my favorite thing to say, the yards after catch,
I'm a stat guy.
Not great.
Oh, he's never broken a tackle.
Well, he broke one.
He lost his helmet.
That's my favorite stat.
It was actually tight as fuck.
That's my favorite stat.
That's the last tackle he broke,
and it was actually his first career broken tackle.
Also had a bloody nose.
Dude, you just push him over and he just...
He's down.
Hey, pays the bills.
What's that drill where the ropes are on the ground
and you're hopping your feet in and out?
It's like a foot drill for...
He needs to do that all summer.
Yeah, he's got heavy feet.
That's a drill that me and Dylan do sometimes at Lifetime.
Whole cinder block ass?
Yeah, cinder block ass.
What an idiot.
But he's one of the goats, man.
He is one of the goats.
You know, these days,
no one really has time
to go to the post office.
You know?
You're busy,
and who's got time
for all that traffic,
parking,
lugging all your mail
and packages?
It's a real hassle.
I can say,
as somebody who delivered
all the shirts
that we packed up
for the backers out there, it is a hassle a real hassle i can say as somebody who delivered all the shirts that we packed up for uh
the backers out there it is a hassle dragging all that stuff but that's why you need stamps.com
it's one of the most popular time-saving tools for small businesses it eliminates trips to the
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of mail anywhere you want to send that's a lot of any it's the only way to do it yeah once your
mail is ready you just hand. Once your mail's ready,
you just hand it to your mail carrier
and drop it off the mailbox.
It's that simple.
I can say from experience also
that the post office workers
really enjoy it
when you've already done
all the work for them
and you just hand it over.
Their eyes light up a little bit.
I've seen it.
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This is a fun podcast.
I had fun, dude.
It really was.
We had a little something.
Should we clarify that we might have kind of a weird week ahead of us regarding our content?
Probs.
We haven't fully worked it out yet.
So we're going to the tournament Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.
The Dell match play.
And so we're going to have to figure out some kind of
alternate recording schedule.
Yeah. We can do it.
Just, if it's a little weird,
you know,
you're still going to get all
the content you want. You're going to get more.
You're going to get bonus content. Yeah.
If you follow, where can they follow us on social?
At Circling Back Pod, across everything.
And while you're at it, search
Watch Media and hit that follow button on there too.
Oh yeah. We haven't gassed
those accounts yet, mainly because we haven't really used them much.
We're kind of just letting it simmer.
Just slow playing.
But, Circling Back Pod
as well as Watch Media.
Are people going to hear from us before match?
Why we'll release an episode Wednesday morning,
right?
A hundred percent.
Of course.
All right.
You high?
No.
Okay.
No,
no.
I'm going to hit every steakhouse this week until I can go live with
Eldrick.
I'm calling it.
We're going to have a run in with Paul Casey.
We're going to go live.
Okay.
I can tell you exactly who you're going to have a run in with. And it's not even going to go live with Paul Casey. No, I can tell you exactly who you're going to have a run-in with,
and it's not even going to be Paul.
Tommy Fleetwood.
Is Paul Casey playing?
I know he's a top.
He's in the numbers.
If he won this tournament.
Who will?
Who are you thinking of?
Dave's going to talk to Brandel Shambly at some point.
Okay.
I'm thinking about this.
I've actually met.
We met him.
Yeah.
With our friends at No Laying Up. Yeah. That little thing. You've actually met, we met him. Yeah.
With our friends at No Laying Up, that little thing.
You're going to talk to Brando Chamblee.
Okay.
That's your prediction.
Yeah.
That's my official prediction.
And we will be issuing our brackets.
We will be doing brackets for this.
Mm-hmm.
Those will be dropping today or tomorrow.
Yep.
We will put those out on social as well.
We did this last year and the year before.
We did a bracket for the WGC Dell match play.
I don't know what the winner's going to get, but they're going to get something.
Something tight.
So just keep an eye out for that.
Maybe some of Dylan's old shoes.
Join our group.
Dylan does have some old shoes that he's been trying to sell on eBay for a while now.
Nice and smelly.
I will not wash them.
Do not wash them. That's so kind of you.
And a Luby's gift certificate also from Dylan
yes
$9.99
for the gift certificate
mhm
cool
but yeah
it's gonna be a fun week
can't wait
it's gonna be heavy social week
we'll be out there a lot
should we get out of here?
let's get out of here
let's go
see you guys Wednesday
goodbye Get out of here. Let's go. See you guys Wednesday. Goodbye. you