Circling Back - Dillon Got Married
Episode Date: May 2, 2022Oh yeah, that’s right — we got our boy married and broke down the entire thing for the first half of today’s episode. With Dillon out and Brett in, Dave brings up the least ‘Brett’ Vice colu...mn ever before we go into a cautionary tale about pedal pubs. And finally, we cover the story everyone’s been clamoring for — a cockatoo on TikTok is singing ‘Bodies’ by Drowning Pool. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Purchase a Circling Back Candle: www.vellabox.com/circling-back Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (13:46) Recapping This Wedding in Fun (37:45) Fritz’s First Birthday (42:20) The Least ‘Brett’ Vice Story Ever (56:37) A Pedal Pub Warning (1:08:45) Cockatoo Sings ‘Bodies’ by Drowning Pool Support This Episode’s Sponsors Vizzy: www.vizzyhardseltzer.com/washed Mugsy: www.mugsy.com (STEAM for 10% off) NordVPN: www.nordvpn.com/circling (HUGE discount + Free Threat Protection + one additional month for free) Lectric Bikes: www.lectricbikes.com (STEAM for a free lock) Liquid IV: www.liquidiv.com (CIRCLINGBACK for 25% off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live presented by busy hard
seltzer the only hard sauce with a fruit, acerola, and vitamin C.
My name's Will DeFries.
To my left, David, the jukebox hero, Raph.
We got to hurry up.
I got a flight to catch.
Met Gala's tonight.
Pretty stoked on Met Gala.
I'll be going.
Check it out.
I'll be doing live coverage for Dumas.
Really?
Just trying to get the tea there on the ground, doing some serious journalism. Yeah. But happy to be here. Cool. Whatever.
So you were, I know you were doing a bit for your Met Gala costume. It's, but now that people don't
have to wear masks, uh, do you have to return your costume of Jim Carrey as the mask? No, I've,
I've got a, my eyes wide shut mask that i'm wearing oh that's good yeah is elisa joining
you or are you like taking somebody else no i'm going solo on that ass really you should you
should squad up with rihanna since her and like rocky are kind of on the rocks uh there might be
some uh might be i don't know i don't know i haven't gone through the entire
5 000 instagram stories yeah it's tough i learned yesterday that both elisa and dave Might be. I don't know. I haven't gone through the entire 5,000 Instagram stories.
Yeah, it's tough.
I learned yesterday that both Alyssa and Dave are Dumois people.
Her more than me.
I'm going to put her on blast.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
It's too much.
It's too many stories on Sunday.
I wish I could filter it by city.
Just put it out there.
If they want to start Dumois Austin.
Isn't there overheard Austin? Yeah, but that's's not the same i feel like half of those are made up
absolutely right yeah no one's really talking like that need some tent hey i'm not dylan yeah
we got brett merriman in the building today the magic bullet had to fill in for dylan who's uh
currently eating breakfast with his wife more like like fill-in. Yeah, they're doing post-wedding brunch on a Monday.
You'd love to see it.
Kind of a power move to get married on a Sunday
so you don't have to come in on Monday.
I would have been here.
Yeah, you're different though.
How's everyone doing?
I'm great.
I'm remarkable right now.
I feel fine. Except I did fall asleep on the couch
last night and i definitely fell asleep with my right arm extended and therefore i slept like
like this like so if you can see it on online uh so my my entire right hand side is very
very sore right now i get that i i i'm not gonna lie the fact that everybody was in the studio at
9 30 today and everybody was
i mean outside of maybe randy everyone's doing pretty decently well bright-eyed and bushy-tailed
that's what that's what day drinking will do though i'll just tell you i slept poorly i i got
hit by a wave of anxiety for the upcoming trip and it's it's kind of with me now. Hangover-wise, I feel fine. I stopped enjoying adult cocktails at about what time?
What time were we there at the?
We left around six.
Yeah, and that was it for me.
Went home, watched episode one of Severance.
Not sure if that was the move.
Yeah, that's aggressive.
I've heard really good things.
I just have yet to.
I think that's going to be a post-Cabo dive-in.
Barrett and noted New York Times bestselling author W.R. Bowen,
they've been talking about it nonstop,
and they convinced me yesterday.
The people that like it love it.
I mean, they're super fans of this show.
What's the premise?
Brett, Brett, Brett.
Brett, Brett, Brett. All right, well, fine well fine you guys you fuckers talk about service i'm over
i'm gonna get a mid-pod gram off that's cool yeah yeah uh please i think we should all get a mid-pod
gram off today should we do that so randy did three in one weekend all right so brett's doing
shmerryman right now yeah yeah randy's already done three this weekend so he's on instagram he's
kind of he's muted right now we don't i don't think shadow band yeah you might need to chill out for a little bit randy you're
getting a little thirsty out there i'll do one from at dc rough and to answer your question
it's basically adam scott's in it they work for this company and it's weird process called
severance it's not the noted golfer noted oatmeal lover okay adam scott tiny head does have a tiny face pinhead as adam scott yeah
good surfer really is these at all z they erase your memory every time you leave for the day so
you don't remember what you do that honestly sounds like just on the surface level like i
don't want to do that with our job because our job is cool but any other job i think i'd want
that to happen pgp yeah how many we would have overused
screenshots from that show like no other had that come out during pgp days yeah we were in the
bullpen like hey can we get a higher res version of this from last night's episode it was always
mad men were you guys on getty images no we were uh we were shutterstock boys we didn't have that
getty money yeah getty getty's for the the real players i tried why don't you guys just go to
google images and screenshot stuff?
We did.
We did.
We got very crafty with our YouTube screenshots.
There's nothing better than a nice demand letter coming in.
Oh, DCMA.
One of your writers just hit you with a...
Or DMCA, excuse me.
Yeah.
I'm not going to name names.
We had that fair amount of those too.
I've only had one.
I've only gotten us in trouble for one.
And we kind of needed it.
That was at wash, too.
The fact that I made it through PGP days without ever getting anything was pretty impressive.
You got one here, huh?
Yeah, yeah.
I didn't think we were bad boys enough, so I decided to toss up a photo of Princess Diana.
You remember when you play Grand Theft Auto, your heat meter goes up?
You wanted us to be honest. I needed us, your heat meter goes up. You wanted us.
I needed us to be on people's radar.
Yeah.
Edge.
Hey, you guys have fun yesterday?
Of course.
Why?
I don't know.
Why?
You just asked that like we did something really wrong.
Did you do something?
Yeah.
What do you do?
Look at the Instagram.
I got to be.
No, I got to be honest with you.
It's weird being in this chair.
Usually I've never been a one on two.
Usually if I'm if i'm on a podcast
i'm a second looking at one person well here we go all the circling back guys are married now
nothing's the same anymore yeah there's there's a uh we are the dorns singleness huh yep yep
we can confirm he's no longer single he tried to mouth kiss me yesterday like after after the
ceremony he did he fucking caked me
up at one point during the uh the reception you love to see that like damn dude his high school
buddy i'm not gonna name his name but he goosed me pretty good dude they're goosers i didn't know
his high school buddies were such gooses i've never been goosed in a super i saw numerous people
get goosed yesterday i saw like three different goosings well iosings. Well, I didn't see you getting goosed,
but you're my third one that I've heard.
I hope nobody saw it.
Damn.
Maybe it was an attempted goosing.
I tell you, it was like a cake grab.
I don't know what happened.
Didn't care.
I was having fun.
Hey, we got some big announcements
before we get into the meat of this episode.
You guys ready for these?
First and foremost,
tomorrow's the first Tuesday of the month, which
means Worst Of is returning to Patreon.
Head over to patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast.
Sign up for just five bucks a
month, or you can go $10. It's going to be
opto. Also, if
you want to send in a story, there's still time, and we'll
always use them in the future as well.
You can either send it to worstof at washmedia.com
or you can go to washmedia.com
slash the-worst-of.
Just go do it.
And there's a nice little form right there.
As always, we're doing dad pods, Randy's game show.
And I think there might be another podcast dropping on Patreon this month called the
Cinematic Universe of Marvel starring Dave, Randy, and intern Adam, where Dave just gets
to ask them questions.
Very excited for that i'm gonna have to
watch one like can you guys do like a certain set of movies so that i can like watch at least one
of them to know what you're talking about movies watch the thor movies okay now those the tightest
ones he has the hammer everyone says that guardians of the galaxy is the tightest actually you know
what the first two doors aren't that good like The second Thor straight up sucks. It's just ass.
Iron Man is the only good Marvel movie.
I've only seen Guardians of the Galaxy, but I very much enjoyed it. Is that the one with the little squirrel that's with the plant?
Groot?
Yeah.
Wait.
No, you mixed.
Yeah, it's a tree.
Rocket.
Yeah, it's just a tree, dude.
It goes by Rocket.
Hey, did you see my comment on your
instagram dave dave was so fast on the instagram light that i almost thought i did something wrong
did you see my comment though what'd you say check it out oh they said first wow dude that's
an epic comment yeah that's the first one uh also please go leave a review can i read some recent
reviews from the homies out there we got one that from state football says this podcast is a movie podcast hosted by two and a
half men in their mid to late 30s who only eat spinach salads and give great crypto advice
man then he put the diamond hands in there hell yeah i thought you were paper hands fucking bitch
no i'm not dude i'm a diamond hand boy everyone knows that this one's a long one you guys want
this one technically i have the most diamond hands because my Serge Ibaka NFT is going nowhere.
Yeah.
At this point, you'd be stupid to sell it.
You might as well take the loss.
Honestly, I might take it off the market.
I'll be the last one with a top shot NFT on the planet.
I don't know if I want to read this review because i think this guy actually hates us
oh should i just read it yeah y'all are kind of full of yourselves these days you get five stars
from me because i've been a listener for a while and you've provided great content over the past
five years but lately it seems like you're all out of a little a little out of touch of the day to
day well yeah we're podcasters like we don't you're all you're all like we live with dads with
newborns yeah we live a weird life it says says, Will, Will just lives a different life than me, so it's hard to relate.
I agree with that.
He presumably doesn't live in Austin.
He did know, Dave, you're cool.
Found my burner.
Oh, this guy.
I don't even know.
Go leave a nice review to outweigh that boy nice what is this
guy's problem did he mention me or do it was no no you're good you're good uh this one said this
one's from sid it says see where i'm going with this my boyfriend made the mistake of showing me
the pod because he went from dating a late 20 year old woman in stem to dating three mid to late 30
year old frat brothers frat fathers sorry also he now accuses me of having a
crush on the cole's cash king whoa he had just randy randy just had to put his phone down because
he was uh he was swiping and then heard that he got some attention on the pod good for you randy
does during the podcast i know that go uh go leave us a nice review to outweigh dat boy nice he's a
meanie i'm more like dat boy mean yeah we have good vibes only in the studio today i'm not i'm not
gonna mess with the speaking of the uh you said you follow me and the reviews because you guys
told me to did you see somebody uh found the bartender yeah yeah we had a bartender this week
so we can confirm that he actually does exist yeah people thought we had just made this person up for
content really they thought it was a bit he looks exactly like i remember him which is surprising
considering we were pretty pretty tuned up when we met him not only did the guy get a photo with
him but he made him like come out from the beyond the bar that's a good move we got a fit check on
him i mean yeah i it just felt weird seeing like his entire lower body if if this if this certain
backer knows his name please
don't release this to the the greater people i think this needs to be a little uh little gem
that people have to go find themselves was this the same backer who came down to the meetup oh
oh yeah it was baby guy with the big shoulders oh yeah he also won the photography contest on
happy hour live about a year and a half ago swag yeah this dude's in you love to see it i think
let's let's stop wasting any time okay change it's time to dude i have i've definitely changed
yeah i'm terrible like there's no denying that i'm a different human you really are you're you
are the definition of different yeah i mean i'm unrelatable
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the love the color the wash dylan is so caked up in his light wash ones it's like i'm kind of
jealous that he got those i also have the light wash ones i can't take them off i also have the
jean jacket and i wore it to dinner oh wow r wow. Randy, what do you think?
Fit pics or nah?
No, I don't know.
I went in looking for a fit pic situation.
The opportunity didn't necessarily present itself.
There was no Will DeFreeze at the table.
That's okay.
So I'm going to save it for another time.
Right on.
There we go.
I can't wait to wear mine.
I've been wearing them, actually.
You guys know that I'm a jean guy these days.
Literally, I said you're jeans to freeze.
Yeah, it makes no sense.
We went from not being a jeans guy to a jeans guy overnight.
I wore jeans more last week
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at mugsy.com and you can use promo code steam for 10 off of your entire order well dylan got
married yesterday is everyone aware of that yeah dude he's not related well do you want to do
chronological first you want to like spend a little bit of time on your boy's birthday i mean
we can.
I feel like Dylan getting married is a pretty big deal,
and maybe we should just go in with that,
and then we can give a rundown of Lil Man's birthday.
Let's talk about it.
What's the bigger deal?
Yeah, people are wondering.
I didn't see any frozen drinks at Dylan's wedding.
Oh, but there was coffee.
He had an absolute fire drink lineup at that wedding
he did did you have a mezcal negroni i didn't i had two really yep i feel like i told dylan
halfway through the reception that i think that his signature cocktail is going to be the least
ordered cocktail on the menu i heard you say that that's why i went and got them are they good yeah
they were fantastic i had one i think i didn't love. I switched over to Old Speckled Hen.
You guys were drinking steins of Old Speckled Hen.
It's not a carry around and socialize beer.
No.
It's just not.
It's a sit down and enjoy a nice ham sandwich beer.
Oh, man.
I was pounding those things.
Like the second, nobody was drinking any Old Speckled Hens.
And when I went up to the bartender and asked for one, he like paused for a second.
And I think I made him a little happy that he got to start pouring these out.
Those things go down. It's my favorite beer to to say old speckled hen old speckled hen ying ling i started the day yesterday with an all-time cute scene i showed up to dylan's place
at like 9 a.m okay i walk in dylan's getting dressed he's getting suited and booted in his
talks did you see him nude uh i was in the room while he didn't have pants on,
if that's what you're asking.
That's kind of sick.
But then I got to witness he and Parks get ready together
and put on their tuxes together.
And it was one of the cutest things I've ever seen.
It's a mega cute scene.
Parks did a tremendous job.
He killed it.
He killed it.
Just nailed it.
Did you get punched in the balls by Parks?
No, but I did get punched in the thigh, but I did get some high fives.
Nice.
I did beg Parks to dab yesterday.
He did not dab.
No dabs.
He was like, I don't want to make this about me.
I'm like, you know what?
That's probably the right move.
He didn't want to steal any thunder.
But yeah, I mean, there was a little concern there,
but we had weathered Dave on the case that there was going to be
a little more rain than we bargained for.
Like, Dylan's involved, so you know it's going to be wet.
So that was not a surprise.
But I was peeping the radar and there was just got so much moisture coming in from the Gulf.
It is.
It is a direct line from the Gulf.
And it was just it was hit or miss little showers.
Nothing severe.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Even that not a washout by any means, but just on and again mist drizzle um kind of like i never mind i won't use that analogy um but it was
just it was damp and there was a moment during the ceremony where i was like oh we got to get
this thing oh dude we gotta we gotta wrap it up and and luckily it went off without a hitch it
did there was a moment where the sun actually came out. It was lovely. It was beautiful. It was sort of like, oh, that's heaven.
Once they were announced bride and groom, the sun came out and shone right on them.
I was like, oh, okay.
And then literally the moment they had the presented as Mr. and Mrs. Cheverie, the rain
cam was right after.
It was really cool.
Yeah.
And I also paid my sister-in-law who officiated.
I paid her $1,000 per mention that I got during the ceremony.
Yeah, you got a lot of treasure.
I owe her three grand now.
I want to know, have you ever seen the rain coming down on a sunny day?
What do you guys call those?
Sun showers?
Yeah.
In the South, they call them like devil's doorknobs or something
yeah something weird something like something that has doorknobs when you wolf wolf something
your friend into submission because he passed gas and had the nerve to not say safety
damn big facts randy gives it yeah we just call them sun showers yeah we did too i think it's a
northern thing not a very creative name no no but it it you know i know immediately what
you're just you're describing yeah i'm not there's not any devil's door not what did you say i think
that's that's a different thing entirely i'm looking this up be careful dave you might want
to clear your search history after looking this up uh brett almost uh lost an eye yesterday from
a rogue bottle of champagne that decided to open there was ghost champagne like oh no i looked over i looked over
and i heard this loud pop and then there was like a 10 second pause and then suddenly brett just got
smoked by a cork that came from the skies yeah i got smoked by a sky cork and a ghost champagne
here's a question for you guys what was what was the vibe in the uh in the the shuttle from the ceremony to the restaurant well it started
off great uh but then the the driver didn't necessarily know where to go oh good so there's
dave and i were what's that yes bill brett merriman got the award for first glass break
yeah brett don't try to get around it was sort of it was clumsy and did you break no there was
there was a it was a circumstantial break it was it it could have sort of it was clumsy and did you break no there was there was a
circumstantial break it was it it could have been worse i could have broke it like on the table or
it would have gone down and caused a scene i chose like the lesser of two evils you chose to break a
glass well it hit the plate rather hard that it fell on i was like oh fuck our bus ride was it was
the mood the vibes were good they were immaculate um
not a party bus by any means but you could see how had the trip gone like another 20 minutes it
would have turned into just a party bus yeah randy uh randy bricked the last five seconds of the bus
ride when he was just about to get off and sprint to get a bottle of champagne and then the bus
started moving we're like come on that really did happen yeah it goes no you missed your shot i did
something i'm not proud of i did something i'm not
proud of i did something i'm not proud of while you guys were on the party bus
i went home and changed shirts oh you did do that yeah i had to get it i had to get a new jersey on
for the uh for the reception you told me very early on you were on sweat through watch yeah
i mean and i was also on just incredibly wrinkled shirt watch as well that shirt does not
uh do well when you're standing up and sitting down constantly and I decided that it would be
the move especially given how I mean it ended up being a very good move based on how many photos
were taken at this reception and uh yeah I I had to do it I had to do a jersey swap I want to gas
up a sponsor that's actually not a sponsor on this podcast today but the mizzen button down that i
wore the fact that i have not had one of those for years i've been missing out because it's perfect
for a hot wedding like a hot day the first thing i did when i went to go change shirts was find my
mizzen and then i realized that it was blue checks and it was not going to go well with my green suit no
and i was like i have to go get a white one i have to go get a white one like this weekend
it just has to happen the whatever they put in their material again this is just non-spot
this sounds exactly i was jealous when dave showed up and he's like yeah this is a mizzen
you're gonna be so much more comfortable than me all day today i was i was worried i was on pit
watch oh i was in effect i i can confirm that during the ceremony i pitted my blazer You're going to be so much more comfortable than me all day today. I was worried. I was on pit watch.
Pit watch was in effect.
I can confirm that during the ceremony, I pitted my blazer.
You pitted the blazer?
Yeah.
No shit.
You and Ross had similar.
Dude, me, Ross, and Barrett were the green suit boys.
I think Barrett gets drippiest performance.
Yeah, so I did have like a best dress thing on here.
I don't think we could give it to anybody but Barrett.
I did.
I did get compliments on my jacket.
I want to throw that out there immediately.
You know what?
I'm going to give you a compliment, Brett.
Okay.
You didn't totally brick your fit.
Thank you.
That totally hurts a little bit, but the rest of the compliment I'll take. I just like the fact that you've become the brick fit guy for some reason, even though
you don't really deserve it.
Thank you.
I was rocking boots too. Fur? Or not? No. i couldn't tell because they were underneath your pants you want to show
up uh the bride dave had a chain on speaking of showing people up look keep it on i told
dave's chain guy now he's chain guy i did like walking into the uh into june's after we got off
the bus and uh you got there a little after us but they
were just doing past rosé immediately see i needed no no further did we five feet in the door and
there was a bottle of rosé in my face we pulled up and i looked inside and we were a little bit
we were probably 20 minutes later than most other people when we showed up and i looked inside and
i see dave and micah standing by the jukebox and i got so excited to run in the back door of the
restaurant that i slammed sally's legs in the car door oh my god that's not how you want to start the reception
yeah he started just busting out laughing yeah michael was like oh no and i was like this is
not a good start for will no oh so it wasn't like it like it was legitimate enough that it was like
oh no yeah oh yeah yeah she she rebounded pretty well from it and i don't think there's any visible
leg bruising door rebound off her shin yeah yeah it did and I don't think there's any visible leg bruising.
Did the door rebound off her shin?
Yeah, yeah, it did.
And it's just not how you want to make your grand entrance.
Oh, no.
I went really silly on those avocado toast slices.
Well, my next question would be,
who had the most chicken sandwiches?
I had two.
I had two.
I had two.
I heard I had four.
I mean, there were sliders.
I heard someone had four. What? There were were sliders. I heard someone had four.
What?
There were sliders plus.
I think calling it a slider doesn't do it justice.
I can eat a slider in two bites.
I think I can eat a slider in two to three bites.
These chicken sandwiches took at least between four and six bites.
I told somebody on the bus ride there, I was like,
enjoy this because the fact that it's Sunday brunch and we're going to a place on South Congress that we're going to walk right into and not have to deal with waiting on a table or anything.
You're not going to be in this position again.
Also, not have to pay for them.
Thank you, Dylan and Bay.
$3.99, as they say.
I led off with Rosé.
Switched quickly into espresso martinis, of which I had two.
Switched then into
mezcal and gronies uh had a margarita so at this point your boy is uh there was there was a point
there when i was quite the cocktail cadence yeah yeah uh then i did two chicken sandies a couple
fries and uh pancakes were good too didn't i heard the i heard people i heard people raving about the
pancakes and i never got one pancakes and i don't get along it would be a little lawn trip that bathroom scene
was not conducive to uh emergency situations wait what what's your problem with pancakes you can eat
fried chicken go right through me dave really pancakes for some reason with uh lettuce wraps
from pf chang's you gotta be on standby that's like that's 18 minutes or less it's like clockwork
oh i that used to be me with brisket and then i just changed my mindset now i'm good that would
have been that's a tough one so you mentally you mentally there were times in grade i'd do catered
lunches from barbecue spots and i'd have to skip the brisk and it killed me because it always upset
my stomach and then i asked my father-in-law about it he's he's a medical professional and he was
like well you're probably just overthinking it and your body's reacting. So the second he told me that, I stopped thinking about it.
And now I can just eat all the brisket in the world.
So you cured your brisket indigestion mentally is what you're saying?
That's how mentally strong I am.
Your father-in-law basically told you to stop being a bitch.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you did, to your credit.
Yeah.
My favorite thing about my father-in-law is that he doesn't eat mayo because he thinks it's for wimps i've become a mayo guy the last five or six years he grew up
thinking that mayo is for wimps and now sally doesn't eat mayo either because she grew up
being told that no mayo is for wimps what does he just eat like dry ass sandwiches i think mustard
gets it gets the the nod it's the same thing it's meat specific it's sandwich specific so
some pair better with mustard who
was who said mustard's underrated was it you this sounds like something you would say i'm well i'm
new to the mustard game i used to be like yeah welcome everybody knows about mustard welcome so
i'm on my on my h on my hot dogs yeah the top condiments are ketchup and mustard it's one it's
one a one i put both of them on my hot dogs i don't do any relish because
that's for wimps i think relish is just not great i relish the opportunity to not put relish on my
hot sweet relish please i wish you hadn't said that yeah me too why don't people here's a question
why don't people put relish on sandwiches instead of pickles what is relish it's just gross it's a
it's the worst way to eat a pickle it's just diced up pickles yeah but like
there's it's so sweet that it doesn't take on the taste of like a classic dill pickle if they just
chopped up pickles and made a thing out of it then i would just do that i assume they make dill relish
but i've never had any that's any any good speaking of pickles you know what i appreciate is that
dylan did not put pickles on the chicken sandwiches he should have have. Where they do not belong. Yes, they do, dude.
I saw something about that.
It was big content guy.
It was big content guy. He missed.
He missed on that tweet, dude.
Man, I got a...
More like bad content guy.
Do you guys know how much a tray of...
He's got good content.
Do you know how much a tray of chicken tenders
costs from Chick-fil-A?
No.
It's not cheap.
Really?
It is Chick-fil-A and inflation.
I thought that a party tray from chick-fil-a
would be like 60 bucks i would say i mean how many how many tenders or nuggets does does that entail
we we i spent north of 150 at chick-fil-a picking up the tray for fritz's birthday
i was like you gotta be kidding me shots at chick-fil-a though they went those nugs went
hard so as did the coconut shrimp.
I was appreciative of that.
I heard they were HEB.
Sally did do several rounds of coconut shrimp tests for Fritz's birthday.
And it was a lot of work.
And they all tasted really good.
But she decided just to go with the HEB style.
I went as far as to asking Jules and Sally.
I was like, who made these?
And they're like, oh, HEB did.
Yeah. Shout out to H-E-B.
I'm trying to find his tweet.
Did anything notable happen at the after party?
Because I went home for fatherly responsibilities with the aim of hoping that people would be coherent enough to stay out long enough that I could rejoin.
And I soon learned that no one stayed coherent enough for me to go meet Al.
Well, I just want to throw it out there.
We basically.
Brittany went around the reception at one point.
Which was lovely.
It was beautiful.
We had a lot of fun.
Playlist.
I want to point out.
Oh my god.
Went.
But Brittany said.
Okay we're going to proper.
Proper hotel.
You might be familiar with the bar scene there.
And then Dirty Bills was the plan.
So there was a scenario.
Where Dirty Bills was going to be mobbed um i'm so glad that did not come it didn't happen it didn't happen and i think
it was mostly because people got a little liquored up and uh it's it was a long day well brett we did
skip over the fact that i'd like to congratulate you as being the winner of the garter toss.
Oh, thank you.
As a previous winner of the garter toss,
it's a brotherhood that you can't get out of now.
Correct.
I've won a few of those in my day.
Dylan simply just slingshotted, that's not a word,
but slingshotted the garter at my face.
So I had to catch it more out of personal injury than anything.
It was weird that you tried to catch it with out of personal injury than anything so it's weird
that you like try to catch it with your teeth yeah yeah well there was like diamonds in it
and stuff and it did look like one of the better garters if i hadn't seen that with my teeth it
would have been a garter snake dave was on tilt yesterday garter snake dave i have uh the the
garter is going to come to mexico i think we're going to make it we're going to do a little uh full circle thing okay well that's what garter is yeah it's a full circle that's how it stays on
the leg i'm sorry i'm i'm shook on this pickles don't belong on chicken sandwiches thing i can't
get past it re-fucking tweet dylan even like dylan responded and said like he he agrees and
it's just not a take i enjoy dude like you're gonna you're gonna send me to chick-fil-a
and ask me to take pickles off my chicken sandwich please do nah they just add a flavor that's not
needed it's the juxtaposition what about that don't you freaking get they add a beautiful like
saltiness in my no i feel like you only have like half a palate like half your tongue doesn't work
you only have half taste buds i'm a stroke oh no just just anybody's were you home alone yesterday yeah is that what you were doing when
you fell asleep on the couch last night no i was watching the lizzie mcguire movie will i did notice
you were watching the lizzie mcguire movie last night uh caroline said let's watch the lizzie
mcguire movie and so we did it's honestly a great movie i i grew up with lizzie mcguire so i feel
like i i have a responsibility to to really shout her name from the rooftops in that movie she is uh supposed to
be 13 going from eighth grade to ninth grade dating a uh an italian pop star paolo she's 16
in the in real life while she's acting that role so not as egregious as we thought we're like oh
she's probably like 21 i don't know i don't know if i can tell this story but i had a friend a friend of a friend
they bought uh at an auction a uh ski day with the cast of lizzie mcguire and like what elementary
school and uh no one uh everyone showed up besides uh hillary duff so they just went skiing with
gordo and miranda i don't actually know this person but i couldn't stop laughing when i was like dude how excited
are you to go meet lizzie mcguire and then you just have to ski with gordo the entire time
damn dude gordo is the og sim i have a cousin gordo gordon is he also a simp no well maybe i
found out gordo is uh 5'4 as an adult that's he's a short king but that's a short short king hell yeah we stay
in a short king it's short king spring did you see somebody like went up to pete or somebody
was like hey man short kings and like fist bumped them pete's like that's cool and all but like i
don't don't do that wait pete blackburn of brooch fame yeah i don't know what if it might not have
been pete i just maybe i just saw it on the TL. They haven't reached out to us yet about doing the human centipede tomato fights.
They have our number.
We need to put human centipede up against like an Oscar winner.
What's human centipede's rotten tomatoes?
Not good.
It's sub 30.
Yeah.
You're looking at that.
The audience score.
It's the rare scenario where the audience score is lower than the critic score.
Can we getandy's mic up
randy why don't you go ahead and read that definition on a devil's doorknob or in the
sentence that they use i just yeah go ahead no i i looked up what it's actually called
the in the south the sun shower yeah what is it's not good it's what is it something tells
me that it was it has racist past okay don't read it. It's the devil's beating his wife.
Oh, that's not good.
So not great.
Yeah.
What?
Yeah, I've heard that before.
I thought it was...
Y'all got to...
Hey, if you're living in the South right now, we got to change that.
Start calling it sun showers.
I've never heard that.
There's also one called...
I think it's the wolf giving birth is another way.
Also, like not as bad, but like...
Why?
It's just...
It's called a sun shower.
Thank you. We've already established a very efficient way of talking about this look up devil's doorknob and urban no i know what i
know what it is wait that's what you said it was so you owe these people at home the devil's
doorknob is i'm gonna let will read it privately and i'll just see his reaction read the sentence
okay you just just look at you know what it is i'm sorry okay how did you mix that up because they
both had like the devil thing i knew it was something and i knew it was weird and i just
didn't it's not good that went through good job knowing it was weird brett thank you i can't get
can we talk about dylan's wedding still we gotta go back yeah we need some closing thoughts on
dylan's what dylan looked great i had a blast it's the first time i've ever been to a sunday
wedding that was not mine uh and i also morning it's the first ever brunch wedding
i've ever been to i've always been very intrigued by the brunch wedding and how it would go
like at about four or no about five o'clock yesterday my hangover started to set in and
then at about nine o'clock i was like you know what i feel good i think i can go to bed right
now with my head held high. Or on the pillow.
And not spinning.
Randy said he woke up at 4 a.m. with spins.
That's way too late to have spins, man.
Spins are like when you first put your head down on the pillow.
Spinning.
There's a trick that's supposed to work, too. Charlie Sheen.
You put your foot on the ground.
With the spins.
With spins.
Love having my jokes.
There was a moment where. Be careful. someone left a review that we laugh at our own
jokes too much it's kind of the whole deal dude you've changed there's i have there's a moment
where dave and i were at proper with like caroline and randy was lights on nobody's home so randy
probably was gonna make that was gonna be my question yeah did anyone win the lights on and
no one's home award you love to
see that the young guy the young gun he's older than me yeah but he's got younger vibes you're
36 uh i turned 28 man this is older than me uh we're we're dave and i almost went to dinner
almost i really wish you guys had had i found out that you guys went to like a steakhouse or
something for dinner i would have been devastated i did go to carve with carolina he had me he had me just on the
cusp and then i i looked down and i was like you know what i i this is i'm patting myself on the
back i was like i i like being home before roads goes to bed i think if there was a place close to
that bar that we really enjoyed that was not like gonna break the bank that we that we really enjoyed that was not like going to break the bank that we that we really like to go
to we i think we would have done it like if car was a block away we would have done that correct
i think that's accurate yeah i think um there was a number of places you could have talked me into
car being 20 minutes i guess it is sort of on your way. It's not far from my home.
But yeah, I'm glad because I would have had a drink.
I would probably have had a nice. Dude, steak dinners with the boys.
A nice full-bodied red.
Had exactly that.
Split the burger too.
Very good.
And their spinach artichoke dip.
Brand new on the menu.
Pretty good.
Did y'all sit at the bar?
Nope.
We had a cocktail table.
You would order spinach artichoke dip at a steakhouse.
I've never had it.
It's brand new to the menu.
I hate it. By the way, biggest miss of yesterday, of yesterday no hummus dude how did he not do hummus just as a bit i had uh about 11 fruit uh skewers i had zero why i didn't take advantage enough of the food
there man i i don't know why i i was just kind of i was walking around i didn't want to have stuff
i did get i did get the sauce from the chicken sandwich all over my shirt not a good look dude wait which shirt the second shirt second shirt that's tough
you should have gone for the trifecta of jersey swaps i know i thought about just taking my shirt
off all together and just going shirtless under the blazer is that a move i could see like barrett
doing that i put on a shirt that i bought last summer that fit me last summer and i put that on
to uh wear to the wedding uh reception yesterday and i soon learned that it no longer fits me this summer so oh dude are you wearing
your your nipple polo to cabo you're damn right i am i already have i already want someone to like
be sitting across the table from me and be like will your nipples out oh yeah i know thank you
maybe i'll do one in solidarity we should lace boys, you know what saved my life yesterday at about 4 p.m.?
Does it rhyme with liquid IV?
It does.
It rhymes with liquid IV so well that it actually was a liquid IV.
Yesterday, I knew that above all, I needed to hydrate.
And so what did I do?
I busted out my current favorite flavor.
Are you guys ready for my current favorite flavor?
Any guesses on what it is?
Pina Colada.
Concord grape. Oh, yeah. Oh, oh my word and i made a big ice water and i stirred that stuff in and i soon realized that one stick
of liquid iv and 16 ounces of water hydrates faster and more efficiently than water alone
this stuff is great it's got five essential vitamins b3 b5 b6, and vitamin C, with three times the electrolytes of traditional sports drinks.
And it's made with premium ingredients, non-GMO,
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This stuff very much works.
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And liquid IV hydration comes in refreshing flavors like watermelon,
lemon, lime, strawberry, pinaina colada and so many more did
you guys put any liquid ivy yesterday i did this morning love that first thing i did when i got
home you have to first thing i did when i got up too this sally saw me doing it she's like please
mix me one please one single liquid ivy sir just one liquid ivy i think maybe my favorite is the
immunity one the orange it's so good it's so good. It's so good.
And the problem is it's also my wife's, and she kind of cleaned us out.
Yep, yep.
Sally's likely to go for the – is it tangerine?
Yeah.
Yeah, and luckily the Concord grape has really been saving me lately.
I love it.
Love it.
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iv.com experience better hydration today at liquid iv.com promo code circling back can we circle back
on fritz's birthday real quick william did you guys get any merch from the birthday? No, I did not. That's too bad.
I did not.
Dude.
Between the koozies, the bucket hats that Sally busted out.
See, I'm not a bucket hat guy myself.
I look like Paddington.
You look hilarious in a bucket hat.
Yeah, my head is not proportioned for bucket hats.
But the koozie was a miss.
I needed one of those.
If perhaps you have leftovers, because usually you have to order those in about 500. Yeah, I think we have extra koozie was a miss i needed one of those if you if perhaps you have leftovers because
usually you have to order those in about 500 yeah i think we have extra koozies the the bucket hats
are i mean people are gonna have to pay a premium for these things they were sick though uh i was
pleasantly surprised by how well the pina colada machine made pina coladas they were awesome i'm
no i'm known as not a frozen drink guy i'm normally like
gimme on the rocks i don't need the frozen stuff pina colada i hadn't had a frozen pina colada in
years and i was so happy that that thing it actually poured like frozen normally you just
get like the liquid you're just drinking sugar oh and it's different yep i had two of those will uh
the one complaint i will have is the dark rum. There's no cap on it.
So that came out.
We were absolutely not capping.
That came out real quick.
So I got your boy down about three floaters. So I have to say that if you are going to host a party where you're giving out free rum floaters by way of just setting a bottle of rum next to the frozen pina colada machine, make sure that people know that there is already rum in the pina colada from the machine.
There was a lot of questions of people being like, oh, I didn't think there was any rum in there. So I put the pina colada from the machine there was a lot of
questions of people being like oh i didn't think there was any rum in there so i put in a bunch of
rum from the side it would make sense that at a first birthday party maybe you don't put rum in
the pina colada in case like a child wants one but we didn't really worry about that yeah i
gotta call strapman out he gave he gave bane a uh a little little swig it's not like not it wasn't like a aggressive it's just bane like
straws apparently oh yeah kids kids like straws and when you have a cocktail you have to be on
high alert because they will just try to turn their head and grab it and he well bane grabbed
it and just just like licked off the end of the straw oh it probably helps the uh the teeth you
know explain to the folks at home who bane is oh bane bane is drew and lily's that is my that is my nephew and my partner i think you're mixing no okay no we're doing hey number of movies a lot
of people dressed up which was fun sally sent out a lot of texts telling people to be on theme
dude you tell me you need me to wear a islandy theme like short sleeve button on every time like say no more
i thought we were gonna have a scenario where like one person got in the pool and we could get a
couple more in the pool but it was only kids did anyone fall in no i almost did i was walking uh
sally is friends with the doctor who delivered fritz and she was at the party for a little bit
and i walked to go say hi to her and my right foot slipped and i almost just went straight in
the pool before anybody even arrived at the party it would have been an l for me that would have been
tough like it wasn't during the party didn't avoid a child it was just on your own before the party
even started that would have been tough i was on like uh anxiety watch with that many kids around
uh i was like i was i was lifeguard brett yeah kids don't really care for you. Kids hate you.
I'm just kidding.
No, Rhodes likes Brett.
I'm just giving you shit.
Damn, that was just unprovoked.
But yeah, I was ready to jump in the pool at a moment's notice.
You know my story.
You know why I was late, right?
Rhodes didn't take a nap all day, and he never does that.
Get in the car, falls asleep.
Classic kid thing.
Kids love cars.
Can't wake him up 10 minutes later.
Just can't.
Because then you're going to bring him in and he's going to just be the worst.
Had to sit in the car with him for like 30 minutes.
Got a doze off.
Alyssa's like, go in.
So I go in.
At least you had AC.
That's true.
I felt bad though.
It's okay, Dave.
I kept seeing people.
I saw Micah walk by.
I saw Randy walk by.
It looked like a killer time. We're just sitting in the car listening to you know fritz
made a comment to me about it but like i wasn't gonna bring it up like i didn't get to talk to
fritz at all he was like low-key like kind of fucked up that dave was like 30 minutes late
i'll make it up to him cool i like how fritz went into his what he called a bang cake
smash cake smash cake he went into it hesitant and do you call it, a bang cake? Smash cake? Smash cake. He went into it hesitant
and then once he got going, he was like, oh shit.
Once he understood that he was allowed to smash that thing,
he mashed that smash button.
Hey, can we talk about a Vice story that Brett's
going to hate? No, no, no.
This is one that he's going to be interested in.
Okay. You did call yourself
Mr. Diamond Hands earlier today.
They purposely have not told me the title of this article.
Brett, this is going in blind yeah hit me inside liberland a crypto libertarian micro nation
in eastern europe okay i have questions uh about the sovereignty of this country
that's my number one question as well who recognizes them as an independent nation
uh nobody but it's uh it's they are attempting to create a micro-nation on disputed land sitting between Croatia and Serbia.
Sounds like, given the events of the last...
What's wrong, Randy?
The events of the last couple months and the events of the last 25 years in that region.
Not the best location.
I'll probably pick a different one.
Maybe like an island.
Yeah, I kind of want to plant my flag somewhere not there right now.
Yeah. Maybe just like pitch somewhere off the coast of like florida so there's a bunch of crypto bros getting together being like dude we should fucking
buy our own country yeah how many actually it's a really really good guess and that's pretty
accurate they also have a festival a multi-day festival called floating man float at this this micro nation correct
what does floating man include celebrating the unrealized dream of making a libertarian nation
run on bitcoin in the blockchain now brett does this have your uh interest pete as long as there's
you're horny for blockchain are they all wearing like che guevara shirts that have andrew yang on
them instead uh oh that's a good question.
My concern is using Bitcoin as a reserve currency with the volatility currently in the marketplace
that sometimes a loaf of bread costs like.00000003 Bitcoin and sometimes it costs.00000004.
So I just think it's a tough way to run a nation, especially one that doesn't exist.
Brad, I'm glad you say that.
Is it in the metaverse?
Is this like a fucking virtual nation? No's not virtual it's kind of disputed
lands i don't know if it was like a fucking that means the real property the lands are in a dispute
right correct will knows at floating man individuals and citizens are free to talk
about whatever they like vice heard presentations ranging from discussions of crypto anarchism
something that you're interested in and will dark net markets oh yeah like silk road also we don't have two uh conversations on how humans
don't really have diseases and opera performances dude i've been saying that so like if an opera
performances so you snuck that one in there you can just get sick in this micro in liberland
sounds like you don't get sick no health insurance in liberland. Sounds like you don't get sick. No health insurance in Liberland.
It's like my first boss.
He used to say, I don't get sick.
And then one time he did get sick.
But to be fair, he only missed like a day.
That's like Dylan saying he's never blacked out before.
And then he blacked out one time and I was like, yes, got him.
He's like, I've never been hung over.
And then now he just gets crippling hangover.
Dude, the second he wrote, Dylan wrote a column for PGP saying that he never gets hangovers.
And the second he wrote that column, he started getting hangovers again.
That's incredible.
He flew directly into the sun.
Like Icarus.
Sure.
That's exactly what I was thinking.
They're trying to build a new Dubai here, per sources.
Maybe more than Dubai.
Very different because Dubai is an internationally recognized commerce hub as part of a nation that's also internationally recognized founded and backed by individuals who made early fortunes in cryptocurrency liberland
and its denizens have a dream of integrating it into every facet of life they want financial
transactions to exist on the blockchain but also the country's congress senate justice system and
voting system is adam newman involved in this at all gotta be somewhere in here like i i roll f
he has so much money after screwing we work over that i feel like he has his hands on a lot of
things that we don't realize he is busing with money like him in myspace tom like well myspace
tom is just he's just tweeting it as haters and stuff sometimes is he really i think so one time
and it resurfaces like every year and it's great and it's just like yeah i i made x amount of money and now i just do it a lot right he's i
like i like the way he's doing it because he basically just said fuck it i'm not gonna build
rockets i'm just gonna go like live in liberland tell me if this how douchey are the bars in
liberland are there bars in liberland yes dude and the bathrooms have doors that close all the way
for each stall so that you can do cocaine
in them with your crypto bros yeah sounds just like miami yeah you're just doing ethereum
exchanges at the bar when you're getting your double vodka sodas gray goose rbvs anything you
want yeah tell me this is um good policy in liberland taxes will give you merits that can
be used for voting the The more taxes you pay,
the more tokens you receive.
They believe it's much more fair than trying to give everyone
the same vote. It's a consumption tax,
which I actually like that platform.
Checkpoint for Liberland there.
I don't
like that. I think everyone's voice should be
equal.
Socialist. What say you?
I probably skew socialist sometimes unfortunately
i think i told dylan's dad you were a socialist probably he said we didn't did he say we weren't
doing enough uh enough politics on the pot or was he saying that he respected that we stayed away
from it he was just saying like he i don't know he wasn't saying that we do too much or too little
he was just like yeah man it's amazing and y'all y'all able to to not talk politics or something did you
i'm not paraphrasing poorly did you guys watch the uh the um correspondence dinner
last night i missed that one yeah it was missable biden's jokes uh he had a couple that hit but the
ones that didn't hit were much more noticeable than the ones that did hit oh yeah and then uh
trevor noah went up and
just did exactly what you would think trevor noah would do like made it all about himself and he was
he was fine when did the world the world at one point was just like we are all going to love
ourselves from trevor noah and you're gonna like it was he the immediate successor to the daily
show i believe he was i believe he was and like i don't know was he on the daily show before or was he just brought in because like he was kind of no i
kind of i didn't really that was during a period of time where i was not watching the daily show
there's like a there's some award i think it might be like the mark twain award that they give out
for different things in life and they have one for like american comedy and dave chappelle won it a
few years ago and he did a pretty good set for it and they had a bunch of really good comics go up
and do it this year john stewart is getting it and he did a pretty good set for it, and they had a bunch of really good comics go up and do it.
This year, Jon Stewart is getting it,
and I'm really excited to see the people that they bring up
to do the speeches and stuff.
It's almost like a high-class roast.
I like that.
Are they not doing roasts anymore?
I was going to say,
when was the last time somebody roasted somebody?
Freaking cancel culture, bro.
Did it cross a line somewhere?
I feel like we're ripe for a Pete Davidson roast.
That's a good one.
I feel like right now, that's a great one.
Yeah, that's a great one.
You could even get Kim up there and get her to...
I have faith that Kim Kardashian can be fed jokes and crush them on a teleprompter.
Wait, she did that?
Did she do it?
Because it feels familiar.
Her SNL monologue.
Oh, yeah.
She did a good job.
Weirdly good.
I'm glad you brought him up, though, because Pete Davidson's tattoo of Kim Kardashian's
children divides the internet.
Oh, my God.
The internet is so divided right now.
What are they divided on?
What's the two sides?
It is weird to get your girlfriend's kids tattooed on you.
Hey, does Liverland have a standing army?
Yeah.
Yeah, they're doing Brett's stand-up challenge, actually.
But they only exist on the blockchain.
Got it.
So they're digital warriors.
Much like my aunt.
What?
I'll just do a QAnon joke.
Oh.
Oh.
Okay.
Shout out to your QAnon aunt.
Yeah, nobody would have got that reference.
No one knows your aunt.
Yeah, I don't know.
I thought the digital warrior one was enough.
Then I was making something up about my fake aunt.
Is that what they call themselves?
Digital warriors?
Yeah, they're on the digital battlefield, dude.
Damn, that's kind of a tight name.
I feel like that's what we are as podcasters.
We are digital warriors.
I'm just an analog boy living in a digital world.
Okay.
R expanded, so.
Who was it who didn't know what binary was?
Was that Dylan?
The 01 system?
Probably. Didn't that come up recently somehow? I don't know what binary was was that dylan the zero one system probably didn't
that come up recently somehow i don't know my left i don't know my left and rights i probably
wouldn't know what binary was true oh yeah we did we did the alien message in binary do we
we sent them like a record player at one point the 70s to like a big 45 or something like that
sure they figured that out yeah how the fuck are they gonna figure that out i had like bird
noises on it can i tell you something i genuinely don't understand how
records work i don't either it freaks me out it always blew my mind that like whenever i would
see in elementary school the music teacher go over and find a song on a record i'm like dude
how did you just find that like what what i'm more impressed by that by record technology than i am
like what my iphone this little hard drive that's
fax machines a supercomputer that's the size of yeah fax machines dave we're just we're just
sending documents and we were doing this before we could print documents like what
dude fax machines are hell anybody out there that's worked a small town law firm
has had to utilize fax machines for very important things and it's the worst
because you're you don't really know and you're like, did that go through?
You have to call them.
You call like, hey, did y'all get that?
They're like, uh, not yet.
Remember you had a fax number that was like different than your phone number?
Yeah, my parents had one.
My dad owned a business for a little bit when I was young
and they had a fax machine there and people would call it all the time
being like, yeah, did it go through?
And I'd just be like this little five-year-old in the office
being like mashing the buttons.
Dude, it was lit though. When you receive you receive a fact you hear that thing whirring up it's like wait so wait in this wait hold on in your in your uh way
of intimidating or uh imitating this fax machine it actually says the words fax machine yeah
fax machine you have a fax it's a little guy that draws all the documents in the fax machine. Fax machine. You have a fax.
It's a little guy that draws all the documents
in the fax machine.
Dylan's printer, is that like a biz hub?
I hope so. We need to get one.
We need to get a biz hub for the audience.
Entirely too large?
Yeah, we need some very valuable real estate
just being bombarded with a biz hub.
Well, this week in Watch Media
studio upgrades, we got a giant cabinet
for Randy to put his stuff in. Randy got a
cabinet. I think today we should make Randy
put the cabinet together.
I think
it should be Randy cabinet day and I think we live
stream it and just make everyone watch Randy
complete the cabinet. Don't people watch shit like that on
Twitch where there's people doing stuff?
Like building bookshops
and bird houses and shit? We should just do a dad YouTube channel where it's people doing stuff, like building bookshops and birdhouses and shit?
They should just have...
We should just do a dad YouTube channel
where it's just us doing things hungover
that you don't want to do as a hungover dad.
Like existing?
Yeah, existing.
Let's livestream Will's first time mowing a lawn ever.
Dude, I've been watching.
I've been deep in lawnmower TikTok lately,
and I have to say that I've got some techniques
that I'd like to employ at some point.
You just need to do one first.
You need to do one under your belt there.
No, no.
I've already got designs that I'm cooking up right now.
Dude, this moisture pattern that we're living in right now,
it's great for the lawn, but I'm mowing once a week now.
Oh, are you?
It's a little much.
Damn.
I don't like mowing once a week.
I don't like electric- a week electric ass lawnmower
over there correct battery powered no nothing like a little lawnmower gas to fill the nostrils
we're going we're you know we are we uh we're going nuclear right isn't that the plan
you have a nuclear powered lawnmower yeah how it's nuclear you have nuclear fusion
long considered the holy holy grail of of nuclear power
correct i couldn't find anyone's gas tank to suck out the gas from for my lawnmower and so i just
used the infinity stones that i had in my garden there's infinity of them so i never run out you
had infinity stones in your garden yeah like you grow them or they were just there i put them there i bought
them from home depot there's like these like decorative stones no turns out they're infinity
stones so still can't get over how swagless that finger snap was who did the finger snap thanos
that's when he killed half the animals or something sure he hunts mike let's hear from our friends over electric losing bikes i'm gonna say this guys
riding a bike is sweet i miss doing it i don't get to do it that much anymore but guess what
we're in the heat season right now and it's a little too hot to be riding a bike around these
parts and guess what i want something that's a little more comfortable a little too hot to be riding a bike around these parts. And guess what? I want something that's a little more comfortable, a little more convenient,
and something that I can ride effortlessly.
Finally, there's an e-bike made for everyone, Letrick Bikes,
and they start at just $799.
They're the fastest growing e-bike company in the U.S.,
and it's easy to see why because Letrick e-bikes are affordable, customizable,
and they ship for free, fully assembled.
Plus, they quickly fold in half so you don't need a bike rack or a truck
in order to tow them around.
Leave the car at home, save on gas, and save the planet when you explore and commute on electric bikes.
We've got one in the studio.
We really do.
It's just sitting over there.
People drive it around the studio.
People drive it places.
I wouldn't recommend driving it indoors.
It's not what it's meant for.
Definitely don't drive it in the studio.
I have driven it in the studio.
It's not a very big studio.
It's big enough, but not that big big but you got to run a quick errand
like oh i need to i need to go down the street and pick up a bag of tacos for the boys yeah hop
on the electric that's just like you to do that it is no i'm the least generous person at the
company i think these are surprisingly affordable like i said they're starting at just 799 which is
way less than the competition these These things are adjustable, customizable, and comfortable.
The battery is hidden away, but there's an LCD display thing that features speed, range, and an adjustable power level.
These things have over, I mean, they have thousands of rave five-star reviews.
And you can cover up to 45 miles at 28 miles per hour on just a four to six hour charge.
Yeah, it's big time.
There's a lot that goes into that technology-wise, and they they figured it out also i don't know if i can legally say this
so electric if you're listening please stop we took the restrictor plate off ours so bad boy we
might be up a couple miles an hour faster governor just saying they've got different bike models and
accessories so you can provide optimal comfort storage and safety join the affordable e-bike
revolution go to electric e-bikes.com and use code
STEAM today to get a free foldable mountain bike lock with any bike purchase. That's a free bike
lock when you use code STEAM at L-E-C-T-R-I-C-E-B-I-K-E-S.com. Did you see me hit that bunny
hop on it? Dude, you're the bunny hopping king. Did you ever learn to bunny hop i tried i wasn't very
good at it i don't think i could get up a little bit but i could it was hard yeah i was really
light when i was trying to do it and i was worried that i just didn't have the muscle
so you could ollie but you couldn't bunny hop yeah i feel like ollies are much much more difficult
than bunny hops i'm different though you know i once had a got a pogo stick for christmas
and we had to return it because i didn't weigh enough to like pogo so why didn't you just have a stick like when you did weigh
enough because i needed that immediate present gratification have you seen the new podro sticks
these days where people can like do backflips pogo stick tiktok is pretty dope dude tiktok is
so dangerous it's like like i the amount of wormholes that you can go down
and the amount of dumb people i follow now who just like have no no role in my life it sounds
like they've got a big role i know it's embarrassing can we talk about pedal pubs real
quick yeah what's going on with their back so 15 people were injured in a pedal pub crash in atlanta
oh gosh um how does this not happen more often? I say that every time I go downtown.
It says the driver of a pedal pub that crashed on Saturday night has been arrested and charged
with driving under the influence, the Atlanta Police Department says on Sunday morning.
The pedal pub, which is a mobile bar, tipped over while making a turn at West Peachtree
Street and 14th Street Northeast in Midtown Atlanta.
Authorities say it happened around 6.30 p.m.
And according to the Atlanta Police Department,
the pedal pub was apparently going too fast
while trying to make a turn.
So 15 people got injured.
Yeah.
How the hell does this not happen all the time?
This is a cautionary tale for everyone out there
thinking about doing a pedal pub anytime soon.
How did they...
Okay, the first question is,
how do these things not crash more?
Why are people so responsible to actually be on them? The second question is, how does every pedal pub not get pulled over for a dui it's true
i'm gonna go answer your first question i think the driver usually abstains from the alcohol
consumption that's but like what what percent of the time that's like everyone clicking like yes
i'm wearing a mask for my uber right now like you're not so you you are surmising that the
driver of pedal pubs always...
I allow the driver to dictate what I do in his car or her car or their car.
I don't think they're making you do it anymore.
Yeah.
Do they not do that?
I didn't check the box yesterday.
I also didn't check the box.
How do...
So I would say 6th Street is the place that is most popular for pedal pubs.
There's a certain little part in Austin and you can pretty much guarantee that there's going to be one down there
because that is where they pick up and drop off the pedal pubs.
I've never seen one do anything but hold up traffic and be annoying.
Who?
Okay, I'm having to,
even though I've driven by multiple pedal pubs in the last 24 hours,
I'm trying to remember, like,
is there somebody in
the front like steering or is it just like like who's controlling the helm here yeah dude there's
a there's a captain where's the captain sit i'm the captain i don't know these are look everyone's
told me that if you're on a pedal pub you have to sit on the back bench because you can't pedal
and therefore you don't get as hot the swamp ass that is
accumulated on pedal pubs oh yeah i mean i guess it's not like well those are just bar stools
it's the bar stools are not comfortable and biking some like pedaling something on a bar
stool sounds awful yeah is there anyone out there that has like a really awesome pedal pub story
like i've we've never gotten if you have a worst of pedal pub story please send it along i want to hear maybe one of our listeners was on this was on this uh bike with
fucking lance armstrong can you i'd be so happy if i if i showed up to my pedal pub and lance
armstrong was right there i'd be like oh i don't have to do anything i'd be nervous i'd be like no
we don't need to we don't need to scale the alps in this sucker let's just let's take it slow
we're just trying to get down rainy a couple times can we do epo next time we uh if we ever do a pedal pub i'd love to it's apparently very dope
i kind of want to tour de france on you say can we listen to tbo do i have time for a steroid
cycle before we go to mexico for dylan's there's always time yeah i got winnie because i kind of
some d ball what's that i don't know i just i think it's something like i kind of i don't want
to show up jacked
just well you've got three days you know what i thought about how funny it would be if i got
absolutely shredded but as a bit do you know what you know what models do before like the night
before shoot they drink a bunch of vodka get themselves dehydrated and they're not safe yeah
it's bad but like you if you want to look shredded that's that's the movie as someone who drinks a
lot of martinis i don't think i have the same response as these hot models do well do you want to look shredded, that's the move. As someone who drinks a lot of martinis, I don't think I have the same response as these hot models do.
Will, do you want to respond to that guy's tweet?
What tweet?
What tweet?
The guy who responded to the tweet of you wearing an opened button down.
And it said, you look like you could eat a bowl of cereal out of Will's chest.
We could do a chest luge. did not see that comment damn yeah it was a mean tweet does he want to do a chest luge out of it
we we know the guy who can make that go viral you can insult my chest i've well just be clear like
yeah he's not a chest guy will's a lower body guy yeah i'm all lower body knows that but like
at the end of the day like if i mean if this dude's dreaming about you know eating cereal off my chest like you can
just come do it dog what cereal are you most likely to eat out of will's chest yeah probably
cinnamon toast crunch cinnamon toast crunch yeah i don't i don't hate that choice now you you know
what it would be unfortunate for you because then your chest would be all sandy and gritty afterwards
i know but i could just like get little finger swipes with the uh the leftover dust that's true catch me going
fruity pebbles fruits going fruity pebbles out of will's chest and just drinking that milk after
damn i drink it i want frosted flakes these puffs were terrible no reese's hey reese's puffs are a
good dessert they're not audible audible gas from randy there i'm a raisin brand guy raisin brand crunch oh yeah okay brett's tongue
doesn't work my tongue doesn't work yeah your taste and half of my tongue doesn't if you if
you raisin brand is not a notable cereal it's fine hey do we think that now that dylan who got
absolutely shredded and looked awesome yesterday is he is he just gonna get off the wagon now i
hope he kind of hope he does he's got to hold it together for Cabo.
He will.
He will do that.
But Cabo, like he's not going spinach salad.
His six pack got a shout out during the ceremony yesterday from Bay.
That was tight.
So Sally didn't do that during our ceremony.
So on the little tables at the reception, there was like Polaroids of Brittany and Dylan.
There were. And one of them was
dylan like pop top shirtless and like the the camera guy the photographer walked up he's like
yeah he's like yeah i gotta be honest man when i when i went to photograph this one it kind of
depressed me he's like didn't there were no photos of me looking like this at my wedding i was like
man dude the camera was kind of tight he looked like a bartender at a speakeasy.
He had the overalls going.
He was cool.
Yeah.
I'm actually dreading what he's going to shoot.
He got a number of photos of me.
He got fixated on me.
Oh.
And I think he thought the mustache was funny.
And I was just like, dude, you got to stop.
He hit him with the Roger Federer Ange sneakers.
I was enjoying that.
Those are dope.
Yeah, he had to do it.
Those are my favorite Ange.
The GOAT.
I'm trying to think of random stuff from Dylan's wedding slash reception.
Because the wedding was fun.
It was in their backyard.
It was very beautiful.
But the reception is where the party was.
Dude, the reception was great.
I had such a blast at the reception.
I was on Mingle Watch.
I was mingling my little dick dick off you had to yeah hey can we talk about nord vpn real quick lord
the squad's about to go to mexico this weekend i've got some epl games that i don't think i'm
going to get in the hotel boy do i have a sponsor for you will is it nord vpn sure is if y'all have
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Are you going to come to my room for some pints with the lads
during some EPL games, Dave?
So we've got Stars, Calgary Flames.
We've got Madden.
Great series coming.
Dude, this is a great weekend to have NordVPN.
Yeah.
We got NHL playoffs, NBA playoffs, and soccer end of the season.
We're cooking.
We're watching the Kentucky Derby.
We're going to have it fired up in literally every hotel room that we have this weekend.
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circling you're gonna need some bread protection and cabo because i'm coming in hot why is the
saying free threat protection is really
throwing me for a loop right now free threat protection okay i got it you know the free
threat protection if it's in a rural area you kind of said that with a little uh christopher
walken i've been doing that free threat protection did you see grease was on last night after the uh
after the the wedding you didn't watch it because it gives you anxiety correct
gives you anxiety yeah the beginning scene in the 70s cartoony stuff in the beginning there's something about it that
spikes my anxiety oh i was watching the natural at carve and that just made me cry so i was watching
the shitty correspondence dinner and i fell asleep during a show that i've officially
abandoning anatomy of a scandal somebody was gassing that show up yesterday uh probably my wife and probably
everyone else in the world who seems to really like it but there's something about it that it's
just not it's not grabbing me my life i'm not that into it people keep tagging me in this um
another vice headline i think we've done this because this is old but will i don't know if
you want to do this story um i can i'm having trouble
seeing your screen dave can you read what the headline i'm gonna read this is another one that
i'm gonna be like yeah this one you're you're gonna be interested in this guy is blanking i'm
gonna let you fill in the blank this guy is blank out of his blank this guy is uh jacked out of his
mind no good guess no no this guy is blanking out of his that was a verb yeah okay out of his mind no good guess but no no this guy is blanking out of his that was a verb
yeah okay out of his blank this guy is um oh i don't know this guy is this guy is eating out of
his bowl he's eating cereal out of will's chest right now he's doing something out of his backside
and i'm not going to dignify it with a response he's mondo dumping nope oh he's doing the thing you don't want to let's just move on i don't know
why i brought this up people keep tagging me what is the story dave this guy is coming out of his ass
why'd you push the issue brett you didn't have to push the issue we're trying to talk dylan's
wedding it's a nice you didn't have to push the issue and you make me do this we're dylan and
bay naked on the tl night? They might have been.
That was a sexy pic.
Was it like a hot tub sitch?
They were at the pool.
They got a pool there.
Okay, okay, okay.
That was a hot pic.
It was.
Dylan looked good.
We left with Dylan and Bay,
Caroline and I,
not with them,
but we Ubered at the same time.
And they were just like,
we're going to go hang.
Yeah.
I mean, I want to go.
I was kind of jealous they got to go sleep in a hotel last night that would have been great
can i uh can i tell you something before i left i went and hugged them goodbye
and uh bae gave me she gave me like a little kiss on the cheek but i think she got some mustache
oh and i just kind of like oh my god i felt i felt bad yeah she got a little mustache did she
like do the thing afterwards where it's like a dog with peanut butter? I didn't look at her.
I just got out of there.
I was just like, nope.
I didn't even say, I got out.
I didn't say bye to y'all.
I just walked out front.
She found it in her espresso martini later that night.
She was like, who's here?
Oh, it's Dave's.
Dave Italian exited, which is just kisses and loud noises.
What did I got?
See.
Bye-bye.
Hey, can we talk about this cockatoo?
We found out today that Randy's a bird guy.
You know, we did find that out.
I don't think there was any surprise from anybody.
Yeah, weird.
We've been longtime critics of bird people
and just wondering what the hell's going on.
Why do you need a bird?
Davis Blanche said Birdman's defense is terrible
and the reason that he didn't win more championships.
What happened to that boy?
That is a very obscure reference. That was really good, good will you want to do that again nice yeah i do a lot of bird watching
i was telling y'all i'm just close i am this close to getting a bird feeder randy already has one
that doesn't matter yeah we talked about today that randy had a cockatoo growing up
and a hummingbird feeder currently he makes his day when he doesn't come look that's
beautiful that's great it's probably very calming i needed it last night i need it right now frankly
i want like a cardinal one there was a cardinal on my fence the other day just put up a little
that is so majestic and i was just watching it randy my dog was watching we're just like
looking at this cardinal and it flew off was he like do you see that shit dude he like he kind of
gets on point a little bit oh yeah you know even though he's a retriever he's not a pointer man
but i was like what are you gonna do with that bird if you catch it man they never know that's
the thing they just don't know they just they just do it and then they ask forgiveness later
so anyway what's this segment so let's get the bird feeder let's say you cop a bird let's say
you you go on craigslist which is not i would say that craigslist is probably not the place to buy
a bird like i feel like if you're buying birds on craigslist that's like slang for
cocaine and or like other stuff i only give show up you show up expecting like a parrot and you
end up just getting a bag of cocaine you're like what what go to silk road for your birds yeah for
sure is that still shut down i feel like i if i got a bird i would want to get my bird from like
a bird guy like i would want to go to some licensed bird dealer yeah like a random like ranch in the middle of nowhere where the dude
just has a bunch of birds bird ranch a bird breeder well this dude this dude bought a bird
on craigslist and he soon found out that this bird was singing a song uh that i don't think
you want your bird to sing constantly can i play a quick uh clip of this for you guys piano man
that'd be so this is dumb i just bought a cockatoo from a guy
on Craigslist and it keeps
on making these
it keeps on making these noises.
If you guys know what he's saying, could you tell me
what do you make of this?
Hello, pretty bird.
What you saying?
No. No. No. dude no that's not real right i don't like that a bird there's no way
i don't want it to be real but randy former bird owner randy seems to be like
he seems to be convinced that that birds can talk this well.
I think it's more...
Randy, okay, bird man, get on the mic.
Can birds talk this well?
Is this possible?
I believe so, yes, but I didn't...
I had a fear that you had a cockatoo.
You had a cockatoo.
Is he coming through?
No, Randy might not be coming through anymore.
I took it away from you.
Randy, can you please re-explain what you just said?
You just don't have a leg. Yeah, said yeah whatever randy sorry you got cocked okay more or less i'll i'll say randy said that yes this is possible based on they can they're imitating speech more than anything and randy
did clarify that he didn't have a cockatoo he had three cockatoos right can't cockatoos live for
like 75 years i feel like a lot of birds can live for a long time especially in captivity where they have no predators and that's what like makes me how
many predators they have out of captivity they can fucking fly i just can't get behind owning
something that is meant to fly unless it's a car way to go randy did you clip the wings
i could do some wings right now can we go to pluckers let's go to pluckers for lunch that
sounds dude everybody everyone knows that the best thing to have at lunch before you go record
too much dip is a huge plate of pluckers no i've got breakfast tacos wrapped in foil in the
microwave i need to eat if you could have your bird sing one song to you when you walked in
from work every day what song would you teach it billy squires the uh the stroke
but it does the riffs not yeah i think i'm gonna do like that
oasis song okay this song and so then like yeah when sally asked me to do something i'm like hey
bird tell her hey you know it's too late stop we'll have some british ash bird like this looks like
pies with the lads ass dude that'd be tight imagine me doing this with my bird i'll be
your dream i'll be you but he's like dude that'd be awesome well that's it that's a good answer
that's a good answer any savage garden but the british pub version yes the british pub you know
when when when duda visited austin like four years ago whenever that
was he stayed at my place and we listened to that savage garden song not that song but the other one
the one that's talking about we listened to that 500 times why because he's just on some bit where
he wanted to listen to it like alissa's like you guys listen to that again we are we are listening
to this song we didn't mention that dylan Dylan entered the reception with a saxophone leading him.
Yeah, we didn't.
That deserves more credit.
I was like, what is going on?
Oh.
Why didn't we recreate the scene yesterday,
or the video yesterday of all the dudes in the bar singing together?
We could have had Dylan.
Dylan wouldn't know the words to it, and that would have been the bummer.
What song?
I'll Be Your Dream, I'll Be Your Wish, I'll Be Your Fantasy fantasy we could have all just done that is that truly madly deeply yeah it is okay
good just making sure i'm not missing a lot of people don't realize that that song is true mad
and deep well the thing about the savage garden is is the garden is savage if you walk into that
garden you're like oh dude they're just throwing out burns, like personal burns. Like, okay, I guess this is what I get for going to the Savage Garden.
Sorry.
I'm done.
Dude, that rosebush over there is savage.
I get them into smashing pumpkins mixed up.
That shit is very different.
I think it's just the vague references to vegetables.
Shout out to Billy Corgan, all the Zwan fans out there.
Is he alive still?
Yeah, he's alive.
He's got a pro wrestling league.
No shit. I swear to God, he does hello what are you serious billy corgan is involved in wrestling i think it's why i feel like randy would know why couldn't he just make off why couldn't he
just keep making mediocre you know overrated music no come on cherub rock's a good song
the national wrestling slaps the nwa correct so like you there's a trademark
there somewhere yeah it's wrestling is it harder to trademark like like acronyms because they can
stand for so many different things sure i guess you'd have to do that in the industry that you're
looking to trademark them in let me just say this this is affidavit with affidavit. Ooh. I want to walk in from a long day of podcasting and working and just, you know, grinding to
my bird just busting out Limp Bizkit break stuff.
Oh, okay.
Every day.
I'm trying to think of...
That's just one of those days.
Yeah.
That's it.
I'm not a person.
Every day is fucked.
I'm not a person.
I'm not a bird.
Every day is fucked.
Objectively good video.
You don't really know why. Objectively good, Randy. But'm not a person. Every day is fucked. Objectively good video. You don't really know why.
But you gotta testify. Ripping someone's head off.
Pretty good.
No human contact.
Will would have three little birds.
Yeah. I sing that to Fritz when
he's going to bed.
I'm gonna stop.
We have to stop imitating birds on a podcast.
We've exceeded the amount of
bird imitation i have shown frist that three little birds is a great lullaby really let's
next time you're listening to it think about it think about it as a lullaby instead of just being
a you know a chilled bob marley maybe i should look into that so i can stop making up songs that
have no point and are just embarrassing i think that if anything can make you a better
freestyler it's having a child because you will just start dropping bars on random songs and beats
that you've never even thought of before it's a lot of fun actually it is i really enjoy it see
brett's confirming right now yeah i'm reading the lyrics and you know every little thing's gonna be
all right he loves it he loves it it It's like anti-anxiety music.
Yeah.
Shout out Fritz.
All right, let's get out of here.
What an episode.
I think we deserve a lot of credit
for how good that episode was
considering the weekend that we had.
Probably could have cut off
the last eight minutes,
mainly the bird stuff.
The bird stuff.
We went a little hard
on the bird stuff.
I'm trying.
No, no, dude.
If there's cockatoos in the news,
we talk about it.
I can't look.
I brought it back.
It's my fault. Do we do Dylan's wedding? No, I would know that we changed's cockatoos in the news, we talk about it. I can't. Look, I brought it back. It's my fault.
Do we do Dylan's wedding?
No.
I would know that we changed if we saw that a cockatoo was singing Bodies by Drowning
Pool and we didn't cover it.
That means that we would have changed.
Drowning Pool.
Dallas is on.
Rest in peace to the lead singer.
I believe he died.
He did die.
Yeah.
Dallas, man.
Good bands.
Bowling for Soup.
It's not one of them.
Is that the one you're leading with, huh?
Or Pantera guy.
Shasta Denton.
Erykah Badu. Really? She a Pantera guy. Erica Badu.
Really?
Leon Bridges.
Leon Bridges, Fort Worth.
Still.
Metroplex.
Arlington put out a lot of good heat.
Demi Lovato.
Yes, boys.
Old 97s.
Texas.
Old 97s.
I didn't know you guys had Polyphonic Spree.
Polyphonic Spree.
Have you ever been to a show?
Ashley Simpson as well.
Good for you guys.
You don't claim her.
No, you claim her.
You have Nora Jones?
Whoa.
Meatloaf?
Rest in peace.
I forgot that.
I forgot he died of COVID.
And heading for home.
Lisa Loeb as well.
You guys have some big hitters.
I did not know Lisa Loeb.
What does she do?
Is she on TV now?
She did a set at ACL a few years ago in the children's area.
She does like kid songs.
I don't know if she's all done.
That's all she does, but she does. It makes sense she's all that's all she does but she does it makes sense all right i'm leaving yeah she did a really good job of uh
just crushing the children's section i guess that was that's an interesting move for her
do you think dylan's gonna do the end of this podcast and be like we're talking about lisa
fucking lobe and not my my dope wedding this is what happens when dylan's not here because dylan
would have been done 50 he's like he'd be like, all right. Yeah, you're going to have to do a good bye-bye for this
because I never know when to end the podcast
when Dylan's not here.
See you all tomorrow.
Congrats to Dylan and Bae.
Bye.