Circling Back - Dillon Is A Baseball Dad
Episode Date: January 12, 2022Brett fills in for Will as the guys discuss Dillon being a baseball dad, people posting their Wordle scores on Twitter, funny and cringe-worthy TikTok trends, which music house we're in, and This We...ekend in Fun. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Purchase a Circling Back Candle: www.vellabox.com/circling-back Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop • (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter • (12:45) Dillon is a Baseball Dad • (24:42) What is Wordle? • (34:01) Is This TikiTok Thing Funny? • (43:00) Music Houses • (57:17) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors • Birddogs: www.birddogs.com (STEAM for free football) • Chime: www.chime.com/steam • Vizzy: www.vizzyhardseltzer.com/washed --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
buongiorno we're back it's a circling back podcast presented by busyizzy Hard Seltzer, the only hard seltzer with vitamin C from superfruit
acerola. My name is Dave. Yes, I'm hosting. This will be my final episode of the week to host.
So if you hate me, just give it some time. Are you serious, Brad?
He's writing a novella over there.
My Guam 80.
Dude, that's so sick, man.
That's not that good. It's not bad, but it's not great.
Average is 36.
I got 80.
That's, no.
A lot of people are saying I'll be at like 81, 82 or something like that.
Do the test right now.
Nah.
No, we're not doing.
We gotta do this pod.
It's taken us three times to get to this point.
Whose fault is this?
Are you writing something real or are you just doing a.
He's doing a speed test.
He's not answering an email or something.
What are you doing?
I had to get my Guam up, Doc. You peaked at 93?
93% accuracy. Six typos.
Didn't you peak at 17?
Dude, a lot of people say I haven't peaked yet.
I probably peaked at 29. I'm ascending.
I'll peak at probably like 48.
So a couple more years, huh?
Or maybe like 69. Don't tell me
29, man. I only have two years
until I'm across the
you tore your groin playing hockey yesterday it's over buddy i pulled it 30s are doper than 20s like
i've been saying that for a minute i believe like i believe that but i'm scared that is a
original because you're you're in much better shape than i am right now what do you mean like
physically yeah but i don't like i got a word to
get there you're already there i'm just talking he wasn't always this way i'm just talking about
like general like life quality he used to be a piece of shit i'm not a piece of shit anymore
actually you were bigger right back out in your late 20s um i started i started to get in shape at around 26, 27.
Okay.
There you go.
Yeah.
Time's up.
What are you, like 27?
That's Brett.
You look good, man.
Brett's here.
Thanks, dog.
Will's going to be back tomorrow.
And by the way, he, I believe, is on his way back from Cabo.
Will, or I'm sorry, we are going to be doing,
so we did Friday voicemails that release on Thursday,
but we released them on Tuesday.
A Tuesday release.
Love it.
Love to see it.
That being said, what's tomorrow?
We got to have something for the Optos.
Let's do a dad pod.
We're doing a dad pod.
So if you have dad questions, hit the pipeline, 888-618-4422.
Again, 888-618-4422. Just get in, get out,
be tactical. Yeah, we get it, dude. You have a novelty mug with a butt on it. That's Dylan.
Man, I can't tell you how uncomfortable I was when I walked to the break room here
in our office complex. Shared break room. Shared break room, yes. Common area. And the very nice
young lady next door
who gives us food sometimes she's great she was in there and we were yucking it
up you know you were just chopping it up you were holding court up and she said
right next to me at the sink while I was rinsing out my my booty mug it's a front
booty too by the way it's not a front booty, too, by the way. It's not a front booty. Whatever you call it.
Whatever you call that thing.
Is it bussing?
I mean, it's pretty cheap.
What are you sipping in that?
I'm sipping that bing bong.
A TJ bing bong?
Yeah, it's cold brew.
Read the whole thing.
It's Trader Joe's organic cold brew coffee,
nitrogen infused with organic espresso, 100% Arabica?
Arabica?
How do you say that word?
Arabica?
Just keep trying.
Arabica?
No, really.
How do you say it?
I don't know.
I think it's Arabica.
Arabica.
I think you nailed it.
It's a word that I've seen, but I've never attempted to say
with my dirty little mouth.
Yeah.
Anyway, bing bong's hit. with my dirty little mouth. Yeah. Anyway.
The bing bong's hit.
I'm going to reload.
Dylan, I'm also sipping that TJ's bing bong.
Hey.
Hey.
Cheers to you.
Cheers.
No, come here.
Clean.
We just clinked.
I'm going to refill the bing bong.
Hey, bad form.
Not drinking on a cheers.
Hey, guess what?
That's literally the one thing you have to do, Dylan.
That's like day one of business.
I told you I was refilling.
Bing bong.
This guy's never closed a deal.
This guy just goes to weddings and does toasts and just puts his drink down and goes on about his business.
That's just straight gas.
Dylan's just jealous because DJ Bean gave Dave a compliment on an Instagram story, so he wants to get the bing bong.
What did DJ say?
He said that he loved your Instagram story
of you doing bing bongs so much
that he made his own meme of it.
You know, pretty much I take all my cues from DJ,
so that is high praise.
You are the two bladers of the Washed Media.
I cannot wait till we finally link
and we just blade our little D's off.
No one likes DJ more than I do.
No, I think I like...
I'm his numero uno fan. All right, well, I like Pete more than you like Pete. I don't care. Pete's all off. No one likes DJ more than I do. No, I think I like... I'm his numero uno fan.
All right, well, I like Pete more than you like Pete.
I don't care.
Pete's all right.
I'm a DJ guy.
Pete, by the way, doing cold stove today with Brett.
Yeah.
Look at me, cucking your plug.
No, go ahead.
Plug cucking.
Cuck my plug.
Go ahead.
No, Pete's on cold stove today.
Pete Blackburn of Bally Sports.
Pretend I'm new here.
I just started listening.
My friend recommended this pod.
What is cold Stove exactly?
Oh, it's just rumors, speculation, news, and notes
around the hockey world.
NHL specifically.
But we also dabble in some other stuff.
That's sick.
What's the Russian Hockey Federation?
The KHL, the Continental Hockey Federation.
Do y'all do anything with that?
Not really.
We don't want to get, you know.
Continental starts with a C.
You don't want to get oligarched?
Right, oligarched. Over there, it starts with a K, you know. Continental starts with a C. You don't want to get oligarched. Right, oligarched.
Over there, it starts with a K, I guess.
Dumb.
Not my call, so.
Oh.
How's everybody feeling?
We're a couple days into this.
Three days into this week without Will.
Well, it's after 10 o'clock.
This is the adult podcast, which means we can say whatever the hell we want.
Bing bong.
Randy liked it.
Like coffee?
Randy liked it.
He's laughing.
Brett, how are you feeling?
We've got to get the Celsius bag.
I'm a Celsius stan, as everybody knows.
They do a lot with influencers who have far more followers than we do,
but I think we are, engagement-wisewise up there with the best of them.
We don't have the biggest following,
but we do have the biggest engagement percentage-wise.
I've not actually checked that out, but I know our engagement is good.
No, we're above 10% engagement, which is unheard of.
You don't see numbers like that.
No.
And you know what?
This episode today is dedicated to you, the listeners.
Well, that's very big of you, Dave.
Because you guys make it all possible.
That's big time facts.
There was a time where Dylan handed in his letter of resignation,
and I said, dude, you can't.
You can't do this to the listeners.
And he's like, you know what?
You're right.
They've been there for us, and I'm going to be there for them.
And here he is.
Don't spread booty chatter like that.
That's not true, man.
You're rocking a Washed Media long-sleeve tee today.
I am.
Thanks for noticing. Where did you get that? What's not true, man. You're rocking a Washed Media long-sleeve tee today. I am. Thanks for noticing.
Where did you get that?
What's the...
Washedmedia.shop.
There it is.
Shop.
And yeah, of course, I'm up here in my L.L. Bean new sweatshirt.
Non-spawn.
Non-spawn.
I do like that, though, Dave.
I meant to text Barrett to see where we're at,
where L.L. Bean is in pop culture and fashion today,
and I didn't.
So if this is some nerd shit,
then I guess I'm back on my nerd shit.
It's all right.
Can we do washed media, like LLC vests
that you can wear like Midtown uniform style?
Yeah, I would love to.
I don't know how many of those we actually sell.
I think we'd be surprised. We can actually sell. I think we'd be surprised.
We could do 50.
I think we sell 50 at least.
If you want a vest out there, DM me.
I wore a vest over the weekend to Whole Foods.
My first vest of the season.
It was actually a rowback vest.
Are you kidding with this text message?
Their vests are on row.
What did Randy say?
Randy just texted me.
I was going to read it.
What happened? He said,? Randy just texted me. I was going to read it. What happened?
He said, no, just to me.
He said, try drinking with your left hand
so the camera can see them cheeks.
D-E-M, cheeks.
He's talking about the coffee mug
because I'm showing the front booty
when I drink like this.
He wants to see the booty booty, though.
Okay, Randy.
Hey, speaking of cheeks,
did you see the Florida Panthers hockey game
last night, Dylan?
Yeah.
It's disturbing imagery.
All right, explain to the folks at home what happened.
Well, the Florida Panthers are America's team.
And noted rapper Kodak Black.
You familiar, Dylan?
Oh, I'm a big Kodak guy.
Okay, everybody knows that.
Kodak, he attended the Florida Panthers game.
The NHL was very excited to tweet out that Kodak Black is, in fact, in the building.
We're less excited and subsequently deleted their tweet that he's in the building
because he was spotted beating them cheeks.
He was clapping cheeks.
Clapping cheeks, allegedly, in the suite.
It looked like just some heavy dancing.
I think it was some twerking.
Someone was twerking upon him, and he was letting it happen.
That, when the second angle was released?
It was a successful simulated sexual act, as a liver king might say.
What did the second angle show?
The second angle showed that more or less she was just working on him yeah there was
a second shooter is that yeah there was a second shooter is that twerking I don't know that style
of dance that well um yeah we would just call it dude growing up that's just straight freak
dance yeah I said we called it wasn't quite a tag ring between a dagger and a freak okay what's it
yeah just working to be twerking can be solo.
You can twerk.
Correct.
Not necessarily with a partner.
Correct.
Well, you can twerk on somebody.
You can Jason Derulo it.
I'm trying to find the video.
By the way, Jason Derulo beat the shit out of a couple guys last week.
Really?
Yeah.
Will's not here, but Will loves JD.
He was throwing hands?
Yeah, they called him The Weeknd or something.
Usher.
I mean, and he's apparently a guy you don't mess with.
He looked like he had the hands.
Damn.
Okay.
That's this week in TMZ.
Sorry, that was a probably significantly louder sound effect than it should have been.
Anyway, this is off to a great start.
Speaking of twerking, I saw you twerking in your bird dogs the other day.
Yeah, you did.
Yeah.
They're kind of your everything pants.
Well, they're kind of like my golf pants, my happy hour pants.
Sometimes they're just my sit-at-home lounge pants.
They've got the built-in underwear, and that's huge.
You've got to have that.
You have to have some kind of protective layer there and they've got it you know something i did recently
so i have um i obviously have a couple pairs of bird dogs um shorts and pants with the liner and
they're so comfortable i absolutely love them i have a competing brand that has a liner as well
and they're so uncomfortable you know what i did i cut the liner out of them did you make them just
i thought you did that just to let it fly
because you're a freak like that.
Because they can't do liner like Bird Dogs does liner.
Nobody does lines like you, liners.
Liners.
In your pants and shorts.
And nobody does it like Bird Dogs.
You know, they stole Lululemon's designer.
I hope he's okay.
They're just doing it better.
He or she, I hope they're okay.
They stole this person.
You know what I love about their copy?
Yeah, it says, talk about whatever the hell you want.
It literally says that right here.
That's what we're doing.
Yeah.
That's what we're doing.
Here's the deal.
Go to birddogs.com, enter promo code STEAM,
and they'll throw in a free Bird Dogs whistle tip football.
That's the one I'm throwing.
Hold on.
I'm going to take five steps, and I'm going to curl.
Curl right.
Ready?
That was a fast one.
Remember those Nerf Vortex Howler footballs that whistle when you throw them?
Sure do.
The footballs you can literally throw a mile.
Yeah, that one.
A must-have for football season.
And you know what?
For me, I live in Texas.
We live in America.
It's football season 365.
Make no mistake, though.
The real price here is the pants.
Or shorts. Or shorts. Or joggers. They price here is the pants, you know? Or shorts.
Or shorts.
Or joggers.
They are absolutely phenomenal.
And I'm not just saying that.
I recommend them to people that off mic I do it because I'm a big believer.
That's birddogs.com, promo code STEAM, and boom, a free Bird Dogs whistle tip football
with your pair of Bird Dogs.
You will not take these things off.
I promise you.
Check it out.
Birddogs.com. Promo code
STEAM.
Where do we begin?
Dylan, what do you got?
Hello. Not to get back to Birddogs real
quick, but did you see they stole your
name? Jeff Pesos?
Right.
Huh.
Huh.
Those are the khakis, by the way.
Sorry, we can continue. Dylan, you have a big announcement. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Those are the khakis, by the way. Sorry, we can continue.
That's okay.
Dylan, you have a big announcement.
Yeah.
I'm a baseball dad now.
I know.
It's been a long time coming, and if you've been a listener for a while,
you know that I have a son named Parks.
He's six, about to be seven.
Wow.
Hasn't really taken up much of an interest in sports aside from soccer.
Likes soccer.
I don't think he loves soccer, but he likes soccer.
And that's pretty much all that he's been into.
However, for Christmas, his grandfather, my dad,
got him a little baseball bat and some balls.
And they're foam.
They're not like the real deal yet.
But we went out in the backyard and said, let's just give it a shot it a shot and see if you like it he's been very anti up until this point
and uh kids got a decent little swing on him already i watched him and okay he put one over
the fence in my backyard oh that's all it takes did he go oppo he was he was so excited he didn't
go oppo no he pulled it he's a go off. He's a little pool hitter.
Is he a righty?
He's a righty.
And he's got a good little swing on him.
He pulls just like his dad.
Nice.
Exactly.
And so I think he just got the itch.
And every time he's at my house now, he's like, let's go play baseball,
which just means me pitching to him in the back, right?
And so, yeah, he's been into it.
And he was with his uh over the last week because
i had covid i couldn't couldn't watch him couldn't be with him so he told her i was like hey i want
to i want to play i want to be signed up for baseball little league is he gonna go t-ball
so he's a little bit a little bit late getting started i think um i started at five i think
that's like as about as early as it gets.
That's T-ball age.
Five months for you, right?
Right.
He'll be classified as a seven-year-old when he starts.
And that's machine pitch.
Oh, yeah.
Machine pitch baseball.
Love machine pitch.
Northwest Little League, which is where I...
Those are my stomping grounds.
How many district titles you put up?
You've got to think quite a few.
We didn't do like that.
It wasn't like that.
It's a big league.
So you didn't make the all-star team is what you're saying.
Oh, I made the all-star team.
Do you think he'll play select ball?
We're going to take it slowly.
Is this Mustang or Pony?
Is that how it's classified?
I was in Pony League.
Okay.
But that's like 13.
That's like right before high school.
That's right.
Yeah.
You play on a bigger field.
I think that's when I quit.
Look, I just want the kid to go out there and have fun, man.
That's all I really care about.
And if he loves it, I will be a very happy dad.
If he doesn't, that's okay, too. But, yeah, I'm taking him this week to go buy glove and real balls.
How's the arm?
Does he rip piss missiles yet?
He's got a decent little arm on him.
He's got to learn how to, like, really use it.
He doesn't have a great throwing motion yet, but we'll work on that.
Are you going to get that procedure that you discussed?
Tommy John surgery.
TJ, yeah. That's scheduled for next week, like I said. What's the'll work on that. Are you going to get that procedure that you discussed? Tommy John surgery. TJ, yeah.
That's scheduled for next week, like I said.
What's the recovery time on that?
It's significant.
It's going to be about eight to ten months. So he actually won't be playing this season.
He'll be on a team.
He'll be in the dugout.
Yeah, look, his exposure to baseball so far is just us just like effing around in the backyard, right?
You're not watching a lot of Ranger games with him?
No.
And so when he gets out there and he starts to play catch with kids
and he starts to learn how to play the field and all that stuff,
I'm hoping that he's still into it.
You should show him the Sandlot.
I should show him.
That's a great idea.
We should watch the Sandlot together.
Or the original Bad News Bears.
Ooh, still hits. Still does. Yeah. A little a great idea. We should watch a Sandlot together. Or the original Bad News Bears. Ooh.
Still hits.
Still does.
Yeah.
A little problematic, but.
Sure.
Yeah.
Do you mind if I get him Skull for his seventh birthday?
Let's wait a little bit.
Like a 10?
Let's wait a little bit. Okay.
Yeah.
Big League Chew.
Man, I'm so excited.
So excited.
What team is he on?
Nothing.
No, he's not on a team yet.
I just signed him up.
There's a tryout later this month.
Oh, yeah, they do the draft kind of thing.
Little combines.
Are you going to coach?
Not yet.
Come on.
I need you full uniform.
I want to make sure the kid likes it, man.
Can we coach?
Can we put together a little team?
No, we can't coach.
But let's do the, oh, man, I want to coach so bad.
That's all I want to have.
I want to have kids so I can be a little league coach.
That's a good reason to have kids.
Fingers crossed that he's into it.
Like, into it, into it.
If he's into it, can we coach?
I mean, you can show up to the games and support him.
Lean over the chain link fence.
Third base coach.
That's all I need.
Or first.
Back.
Dude, imagine him in his little uniform, you know?
Big old cap on him and glove that he doesn't know how to use quite yet.
He'd be cute as shit.
Are you going to let him play third?
A little hot corner?
We'll see about it.
You know, they had to move me from third.
I didn't have the arm strength, so they moved me to second.
Played a little short.
Working against him is that he's a beginner.
Some of the kids have a head start on him.
Okay.
And he's small.
He's a small lad for his age.
Pedroia. Contact hitter. He's got he's small. He's a small lad for his age. Pedroia.
Contact hitter.
Altuve.
He's got speed, right?
He's a soccer player?
We'll see about it.
Ruggio Doors, tiny.
Is he still around?
He's got the bag.
He's on the Yankees.
When does the batting cage go up in the backyard?
I'm not going to do batting cage.
Are there batting cages in Austin you could take him to?
Surely there are.
Yeah, but right now it's going to be like a backstop at the park situation.
I'm just going to pitch to him and let him just have fun out there.
I'll shag.
Put me in left.
Yeah, baby.
I'm excited, man.
I'm sorry.
I'm excited for you.
I'm also excited to be an assistant Little League coach at some point in the near future.
I do want a jersey.
You want a jersey?
I want a hat.
Give me a hat.
Okay.
Again, I don't know if I can promise these things to you guys
because it's a Little League team,
and I don't know if they make adult, like, extra jerseys.
My first team, and this is to keep in mind, like, 1991 or 2 or something.
Maybe 1990.
And I was so embarrassed by the team name, the Mavericks.
Because at the time...
Great team name.
What are you talking about?
At the time, the Mavericks were the worst NBA team like ever.
They were very, very bad.
It was also like six years removed from being the coolest fighter pilot of all time.
Correct.
But this is pre-Top Gun Dave.
Okay. So at the time I did not appreciate
that, but we were the Mavericks and we
were always embarrassed and we weren't very good.
Yeah, his league, Northwest Little League
again, which is where I used to ball out.
They used to do
MLB teams. Oh, see, we
had like sponsors, man. That's cool, man.
We never had sponsors. They go in the back of
the jerseys, but it would be like the Cincinnati Reds sponsored by Wash Media.
We should sponsor his team.
Get the words out of my mouth.
Yeah.
That would be fun.
Just have little hats with the circling back tiger on them.
It would be a Reds hat.
We'd do the coffee cup, too.
That's our new logo.
Thanks, Randy.
Can we booze at the games?
Just keep it discreet.
Yeah, put it in your basket.
Put it in your Yeti.
Don't bring a flask.
If I'm coaching, I wouldn't do it.
That's very Walter Matthau.
Just a cooler beer in the dugout.
Probably any number of 1970s and 80s Little League coaches.
All parents are expected to volunteer, like work the scoreboard, work the concession stands, stuff like that.
No, I'm not doing that. Give me the scoreboard.
Get a little number two pencil out. I love scoring
a ball game. I'll do the concessions, Dan.
Make little suicides for the little punks.
What? Suicides?
Yeah. What is that?
Like a shot? Suicides for the punks,
he says. No, what?
It's a little something of everything. Suicide is, yeah,
you take the cup and you just put all the sodas in it.
No, no, it doesn't have to be a slushie.
It's all like Sprite, orange drink, Coke, Dr. Pepper.
Purple drink?
All of it.
That's surely not a Texas thing.
That's like a –
No, Randy is confirming that they did it up in –
We did it.
I don't think – we didn't call it a suicide.
Oh, after every game, even at T-Ball, at five and six years old, we would run to the concession
stand.
I want a suicide.
They just mix up like 22 suicides for all of us.
Don't clip that, Randy.
Wow.
That's a problematic name for a drink.
Yeah.
It's a different time.
There's five-year-olds running up saying, I want a suicide.
I wonder what they call them now.
No, you don't order that.
You get it yourself.
I guess you could order it.
We ordered them because we get a free drink after the game.
I'm thinking me pulling up at CeCe's for that $1.99 buffet
and just going up to the fountain drink and just getting a little something of everything.
Yeah, like Timmy's mom would be working.
That's just him.
Oh, I remember her.
She was.
She was.
She'd be like, all right, one suicide. Old Gene loved Timmy's mom. A little six-ash's team. Ooh, I remember her. She was. She was. She'd be like, all right, one suicide.
Old Jean loved Timmy's mom.
Little six-year-old.
She had it going on.
She just.
Fucking sick.
Sometimes going no ice.
That's loco.
We did slushies.
No one's going no ice suies.
Who was that recently who had the beverage?
No, was it you who had the Coca-Cola no ice?
Correct.
Explain yourself. What was that? The beverage the Coca-Cola, no ice? Correct. Explain yourself.
What was that?
The beverage is already cold and the ice takes up space, so I get no ice.
I feel you on that, but I like to fill up about a quarter of the way with ice.
Okay.
Enough to keep your drink cold, but you don't need all that extra ice.
I just don't like my drink to get extremely watered down.
When a restaurant brings me a glass of water with ice filled to the brim,
I want to throw it in their face.
Like, what are you doing?
The water comes cold already.
Doesn't it kind of feel like scratchy
when you drink that?
You take two sips and it's already empty.
Yeah.
I've become a fan of the room temperature water
that they offer at some places.
You know what you're supposed to do
is hot water with a lemon in the morning, Dave.
Yeah.
To start your metabolism. I put just enough ice in my cup or my yeti uh to where
the ice melts and the water's chilled i like chilled water i don't need ice in my drink when
you when you poured your bing bong did you have ice no bing bong i mean no ice in the bing bong
just straight bong bing bing bong okay no creamer either obviously i mean i don't want to say anything uh private label
bing bong called bing bong water oh okay keep going so we're doing that i still think super
fantastic is a great name for a coffee brand sure tell me you wouldn't buy that you see it on the
shelf like i gotta try this a lot of competing brands. Sounds good.
We had to break through somehow.
Sounds fantastic.
When do we know our assistant coaching duties?
Just sit tight.
You'll be notified.
Commissioner?
Shout out to our catcher was Paul.
And I may have told this, but his dad would sit in the outfield.
I don't know if he was drinking or not,
but he would just sit in a lawn chair in the outfield,
and he would yell at Paul when he was at bat,
and his little pet name for his son was Chili Dog.
So he would go, come on, Chili Dog.
And to this day, it gets tossed around in my household,
whether I'm talking to my dog, whether I'm talking to my wife or my son.
I'm excited about this.
Everybody's Chili Dog in my household. I'm excited about Parks going to bat, and I'm talking to my wife, or my son. I'm excited about... Everybody's chili dog in my household.
I'm excited about Parks going to bat.
I get to like, let's go, Parks!
What's your nickname for him?
P-Man?
I call him Buddy, but I don't know if that's going to play.
Pretty generic.
Yeah.
P-Rex?
I don't know what I'll call him.
Come on, Raptor!
Come on, Raptor!
Bat on the ball! Squish the bug, Raptor. Come on, Raptor. Bat on the ball.
Squish the bug, Raptor.
Maybe Chili Dog.
Oh, pass on the tradition.
Plays it second, Raptor.
Come on.
That's how you sound when you're yelling.
People don't know this, but Dylan gets really country when he's playing baseball and yelling.
That's not true.
I got my fundo if you need me to rip fly balls to the kids.
Man, I'm going to.
Oh, I'm excited.
Put it in play.
I'm going to really embrace this whole thing, you know?
I am too.
Ooh.
If you will allow me to at some point.
Man.
I've got a very serious question.
Might be a good little middle infielder, you know, after some practice.
Put him at second.
Put him at second.
Good starting spot for a beginner.
This question I have for you guys is very serious.
What is Wordle?
The short answer is, I don't know.
Why?
It's an app.
If you are on Twitter, which we are, at dcarterruff on Twitter, at dcruff on Instagram, I'm on there.
Everybody's posting their Wordle.
I don't really know what's happening.
I know, Dylan, you called it Nerdle. Yeah, Nerdle. everybody's posting their wordle and it look i don't i don't really know what's happening i know
dylan you you called it nurdle it yeah you're you're suggesting in your tweet that the people
who play it are nerds i i'm not only suggesting it i'm proclaiming it yeah right what what is it
dave the medium answer is uh i don't know and i've refused to look it up let me let me say this to
everyone out there who's playing Wordle.
Before you tweet about it,
before you hit send on that tweet,
letting everyone know what your Wordle score is,
or however it works,
let me tell you this.
Literally no one cares.
Not one person is like,
oh, I'm glad that,
I'm glad Randy, for example,
I'm glad that he let me know what his Wordle score is. That's some shit Randy would do.
Now I know.
No one cares.
Our old intern, Curry, tweets, and this is at Will Curry's,
Wordle tweets are out of control, extremely 2012 Facebook behavior,
total regression, knock it off.
And I did retweet that when it had no retweets,
and now it's gone micro-vi.
So you're welcome for the assist. You retweeted Curry? I did retweet that when it had no retweets, and now it's gone microvi. So you're welcome for the assist.
You retweeted Curry?
I did.
Wow, but not me, huh?
That's cool.
Nerdle, it seemed a little aggressive.
I don't think it makes you a nerd.
Mine was funny.
It was funny, but I didn't want to give you the satisfaction
of knowing that I thought it was funny.
You never retweet me.
I've retweeted you before.
I think you're shadowbanned on my platform, Dylan.
I never see your tweets.
Didn't you mute him?
No.
Will and Dylan are shadowbanned because I never see them tweet.
I'm not shadowbanned.
For on me personally, I don't know why.
But does John Duda have an opinion on this?
I'm sure he does.
I think he replied to my tweet, actually.
Whatever he says, I agree with.
That's my opinion.
It does have old-school Candy Crush vibes.
He responded to my tweet and he said,
if it's not Temple Run, I don't want it.
So, there you go.
Putting up big boy stores in TR a couple years ago.
Is this something we need to be in on?
And how can we really truly make fun
of something like this when
Brett hadn't even been
introduced yet and he was doing a typing
test after I'd hit
record on the podcast?
86 words per minute was my actual score
combined with 93% accuracy
for a net of 80. I think I hit
90 in typing class in eighth grade.
Will's a fast typer.
Did you all know that?
Yeah, he's quick.
You know who's not quick, Dylan?
You're terrible.
You hunt and peck.
I'm sneaky really fast for being a hunter and pecker.
If you were in the Olympics, you would be the walking,
the fast walking event.
Yeah, I'm a speed walker.
That's what you do.
You're the speed walking of typing.
I'm a speed pecker. You're the speed pecker of word processing. I'm a speed walker. That's what you do. You're the speed walking of typing. I'm a speed pecker.
You're the speed pecker of word processing.
I'm pretty quick, man.
No joke.
No cap.
Is there a separate test for hunting and pecking?
There should be.
Probably not.
Probably not.
Have you ever done the test?
What's your Guam?
I've never wanted to.
I get really nervous when people watch me type.
What if you just go in a room by yourself and do it?
We don't have to watch.
We just have to see the result.
It's still a high-pressure situation.
That should be your punishment.
If you were to lose dip pics, check out Too Much Dip.
You have to go live on a live stream,
and you have to do multiple typing tests.
I would panic.
Exactly.
That's why it's a punishment.
It would be humiliating.
It's not fun.
Exactly.
That or truck nuts.
Would there be a camera pointing down at the keyboard to watch my fingers do their thing?
It'd be a POV cam.
It would be what she sees.
Okay.
Okay.
What about POV with the elevator boys?
We should do one of those.
I mean, can we save that for our other TikTok?
We have an entire TikTok segment,
which I know the folks at home are going to love.
But I figured we could put it in there
because I opened up my TikTok
for the first time in a couple weeks today
because Randy sent me a video for the segment.
What's the first thing that served to me?
You know the Neon Moon dance thing?
Neon Moon.
Like the dance remix?
Yeah.
It's three shirtless cowboys doing the dance from LaBear's Male Strip Club in Dallas.
Why is that the top thing served to me?
First of all, I follow like three people on TikTok.
I never get on there.
I just pop it open, and here's these hunks.
And I, first of all, I was like, I thought maybe they were going to help me move or something,
but then I realized they were not in college and they're just served up to me.
I could have opened that in public and been like very embarrassed.
Like, oh dude, I'm looking at risque material here.
That algae knows what you're into apparently.
Look, I am into hunky cowboys.
Everybody knows that, but I don't need to see it when I'm opening up TikTok.
I'll select it.
Let me choose.
I just want to watch the elevator boys over and over again.
They're so hunky.
They really are.
They really are, assuming they're all of age.
Are they 18?
Yeah.
But that's okay. They really are, assuming they're all of age. Are they 18? Yeah. But that's okay.
They're wearing leather jackets.
Can't get in the dick saloon, though.
Not at 18.
Oh, sure.
Let's see your ID.
Come on up.
Drag in on Sunday.
We do an all-ages night.
We do 18 and up on Sundays.
Come on back.
I'll pour you up a sody pop.
Sody pop. Can I introduce a sponsor here that I really enjoy?
Yeah, of course.
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We reached somebody, and it was Brett.
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debit card or be a chime member to claim funds now the segment everybody's been waiting for i'm going
to turn this guy's mic up is this tiktok thing funny and to explain this we're bringing in a
big gun we're bringing in the guy that people want more of people love the guy he filled in
last week it's uh producer video guy
randy and me with a producer mike now of big things in 2022 noted uh randy's game show host
yeah you could find a couple of his game shows are you gonna ever do that again
i think we've talked about maybe doing it now that uh tuesdays are not bachelor and they're
kind of a grab bag so be looking out for that on the on the optimized tier what is this tiktok thing and what why why is it all that you and intern adam are
talking about and i'm not even exaggerating they're talking about it anytime we're not recording
they're talking about the man council well it's kind of hard to explain but it's okay great taking
taking tiktok by storm for people that are still out on TikTok, it's not
all these teenage guys dancing
anymore. It's not all the elevator boys.
What's the point?
What are you doing? There's a lot
of different content
creators on there now, and there's
comedians. Billions, in fact. Exactly.
One guy is starting to share men's
secrets about how we've tucked our
wiener between our legs and see what it looks like.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I'm sorry?
Yes.
That's a man's secret.
Many men have done the tuck?
Many men.
Have you?
Are you talking, may I say, mangina?
Yes.
May I say that?
Yeah.
Or how we can scratch our balls through our pockets.
Things like this that we don't know that we do.
I think a lot of girls don't know we do it.
I feel like they understand that we are very, very gross creatures.
But to what extent?
So there's a whole thing about...
So this whole thing is that people are saying that, you know,
women should be allowed to know these disgusting things about men, and there's people thinking that we should keep these secrets like us pissing uh
skid marks off of toilet seats with our stream like we do my gosh what are you doing at home
it's just what happens so that's not a man's secret my god it is but so all of tiktok is
just choosing sides and there's like this whole fake war that's going on
that people are just all in on the joke.
Proxy war day.
And now it's starting to extend to YouTube and Twitch and ESPN even.
Or Kazakhstan.
Don't get me started.
ESPN?
What do you mean?
In what way?
Richard Jefferson.
He's a big guy on TikTok now too, and he brought it up on ESPN.
Former Maverick great.
Exactly.
Sure.
And a Kev.
He had some good years.
It's just a funny thing that's going on right now.
It's the biggest thing that's hitting TikTok that everyone's getting involved in,
and it's pretty fun.
Do we need to get into this?
When I bring up a TikTok segment, it's mainly I want you to tell me yes or no.
Is this something we should be in on?
It's kind of nerdy, so I don't know if you guys really need to be in on it.
But be watching out for it because soon enough, celebrities are going to start weighing in,
and then corporations will, and then it will tank.
And then we will weigh in in about two months.
Can you reveal more secrets of men?
The Texas two-Step, Dave?
Would you like to explain that?
No, I wouldn't.
I want you to.
You're the TikTok correspondent.
Is that allegedly when you're walking and it's a hot summer day and your testiculars, your balls.
Correct.
Your balls is hot and they stick to your thigh, and you do a little thing.
You do like a little.
A little leg shake.
Is that a thing that most guys are having to deal with?
Yeah.
You wear jeans in the summer.
You're toast.
Of course, yeah.
A little shimmy.
Not with my bird dog's pants.
Extension leg.
Yeah.
They've got the liner built in.
Never have to Texas two-step in those.
Before bird dogs, though, you used to do that.
Yeah.
Nowadays, you buy botcher briefs,
they're getting really technical with what's under the hood, so to speak.
We've got the pouch now.
I've seen multiple pouches, Dylan.
I don't like the pouch.
I've seen a pouch for your tees and a pouch for your piece
in the same pair of underwear.
Oh, that's too much.
That's too many pouches.
Yeah, too pouchy.
I tell you what, you want a Tesla, you get the Tesla.
My testicles.
Testicles.
I'm sorry.
That sucked.
Give us some more man secrets, Randy.
Give us your man secrets, your proprietary ones.
Do the one you were talking about, the fork in the morning.
You mean sometimes how the stream will split into two?
One guy's calling that the simulcast?
Right.
Okay.
That's what happens.
That's kind of funny.
That's the me, myself, and Irene P.
Jim Carrey.
Or the hot rod.
Or the hot rod.
So pretty much, if you're on TikTok and you see people asking to choose a side
and all these content creators, that's what's going on right now.
It's the hottest thing on TikTok, other than the Elevator Boys, of course.
Can I talk about the Elevator Boys?
Yeah, I'd love to give you the floor to talk Elevator Boys.
Just this trend in general.
I actually discovered this on Instagram Reels.
You know, I'm on Instagram.
I think you are, too.
Are you going to plug?
At DeShivery. Thank you. Four E's. Non-consecutive. you know i'm on instagram i think you are too you're gonna plug and uh at d shivery
thank you for ease non-consecutive and there's this trend on reels and i'm i know i'm late to
this so feel free to make fun of me for being late on this but it will it's like these these
dudes who are like 18 years old and like hot, hunky 18-year-olds,
they got the e-boy haircut where it's real moppy and brushed forward.
They look very stupid.
But anyway, there's this genre of POV running into hot dudes in weird places,
like elevators, for example.
So you're the POv of the young lady
or you're a young lady on an elevator and the door's closing and then oh suddenly this dude
like sticks his hand and opens elevator and gets on with you and you guys lock eyes and he just
like hits you with like a oh hey you're cute look and it's it is for my money the most cringeworthy
content on the internet currently.
It is so uncomfortable that I can't look away from it.
Is it self-aware cringe or do they not realize?
Do they think this is good?
Well, it works for them and they are becoming, I mean, they have like hundreds of thousands of Instagram followers.
They're online sensations.
Because they're just hot dudes, right?
But I don't think
they realize how uncomfortable this
is for everyone watching. What if we
reached out to them? And you know what? If you're a 16
year old girl, you might love this kind of shit. I have
no idea. How many 16 year old
girls are listening to the pod? For the rest of the world
out there, it's like it's the most
insufferable, cringy,
like punchable
thing I've ever seen.
Pop quiz, hotshot.
You're an 18-year-old hunk,
and you just amassed a following of hundreds of thousands.
What's your next move?
I'll tell you what it is.
You ride the wave as far as you can ride it.
You open up a moving company,
and you and your boys who are also on the elevator with you,
because you've got to go to the big, what's the big elevator called where you move all your big stuff?
The freight.
The freight elevator boys.
Right, because why make tons of money on Instagram when you can just do manual labor all day for much less money.
As a hunk, though.
As a hunk for much less money.
But at some point, you become the boss and you hire more hunks to work under you.
By the way, it's more than just. Then they hire hunks. It's a pyramid hunk scheme.
Elevators, by the way.
There's one where this guy
misses a train, like a subway.
And a young lady also
misses it at the same time. They're frustrated
until they lock eyes. Then it's like,
oh, well you're cute.
Then he gets a six inch. It's so fucking bad.
It's so bad. What happens after?
Is there like a continuation of the story?
It's up to your imagination, I guess.
It's funny because the guy who usually films it,
the person filming it is actually like one of his boys, right?
So imagine filming this in real life.
You're just making eyes at one of your boys.
Yeah.
You ever seen the movie No Country for Old Men?
Oh, yeah.
Does it ever feel like that's kind of what we are? What we're living in? eyes of one of your boys yeah you ever seen the movie no country for old men oh yeah good does it
ever feel like that's kind of what what we are what we're living it does feel like like i don't
understand the youngsters these days which what is it uh gen z i don't understand them i also just
hate all of them i think they're terrible is adam gen z everyone i like adam except for adam and
timo they all they all Yeah, I said it.
What if they're listening to this pod?
Hey, you stink, baby.
Is Parts not Gen Z?
No, he's Generation Alpha.
I thought that was what Dan was.
I saw Dan at the gym yesterday.
Dan is an alpha.
First of all, he looks huge.
Second of all, he was rocking a chain outside of his of all he looks huge second of all he was rocking
a chain outside of his workout shirt that's gangster it looked good i made me want to get
a chain i bet i think the elevator boys wear chains they absolutely do yeah the haircut that
they all have man are they called the elevator boys are we just giving them that moniker they're
called i think they're called the elevator boys okay, they're not wearing monocles or top hats.
A lot of their content is on elevators.
I could be the Monopoly Boys, too.
They're awful, man.
But they're hot.
Okay, I'm going to have to do some research.
You know we have an elevator about 15 feet away from our door.
Are you saying what I think you're saying, which is let's do one?
Yes, let's do one? I will. Yes.
Let's do one today.
Okay.
All right.
We've got to practice our, like, maybe, like, throw a lip bite in there.
Like, you know, a cutesy, like.
I don't really want to get political with it.
What?
Lip bites?
Oh, lip bites.
I thought you said lip bite.
I'm forcing shots up. Yeah. I mean, that's bite. I'm forcing shots up.
Yeah.
And that's okay.
All this Richard Jefferson talk.
No, we will do one.
Okay.
We will do one
and people will hate it.
And we'll hate it
and we'll probably make Randy
delete it in like a week.
I want Micah up here for it.
You would crush it.
Micah's the guy.
You need to walk onto
an elevator with Micah.
I'm picturing in my head how it's going to look when we do this,
and it makes me laugh how loud.
Hello.
I'm Micah.
It may.
Hello.
Yes, we did.
Yes.
What floor would you like?
That's a pretty good Micah.
I'll hit the number.
All right, we got to talk.
Next to elevator honks and whatever the testicle segment Randy did was,
this is a thing that's really taking the country by storm.
Of course, we're talking about which music house are you living in?
This is big Twitter content.
Again, at dcarterrough on Twitter, at dcrough on Instagram.
Oh, there they are.
Okay.
And basically what you have here Is nine houses
Each house has a musical act
A band or a performer
Six of them
And this man's tweet
They all fall into the same musical genre
He's saying which house are you living in
So not saying which one
Are you listening to, correct?
Am I looking at this the right way?
You're living with these people.
No, I think it's kind of which music do you vibe with the most?
So you're saying that these guys are going to be practicing
live rehearsals in the house,
so Dylan is basing his answer off that.
No, it's just like which one of these musical selections
most aligns with your taste?
Pretty sure what this means.
I think it's more like who you're chilling with.
I don't think so.
Who you're cribbing up with.
It says you can only live in one house.
House one, for example.
Alice in Chains, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Nirvana, Stone Temple Pilots, STP, Smashing Pumpkins.
Not a bad house.
I have a question about... That's a house that Dave could find a room in and be happy. Soundgarden, Nirvana, Stone Temple Pilots, STP, Smashing Pumpkins. Not a bad house.
That's a house that Dave could find a room in and be happy.
I have a question about House 5.
By the way,
if a band member is deceased,
Kurt Cobain, for example,
Chris Cornell, for example,
Alice in Chains guy, for example,
Lane Staley, I think,
that person, for purposes of this, is assumed to be alive.
I still think you're completely misinterpreting the whole thing.
I just think, which music do you like the most?
I think we have to go to Travis Akers, who is the original tweeter of this.
He says, you can only live in one house.
Right, but because that's what the music's going on in that house.
He has his.
It's like you're chilling with the Ghetto Boys or Fever 333, whatever the hell that is.
Okay.
Hey, House 5, the Dog Pound...
2Gs.
...is the name of an album.
It's not the name of a group,
unless I've just never heard of the Dog Pound, the group.
DPG, the Dog Pound Gang?
I think that's like...
I don't know.
Maybe I'm wrong. It's a hip-hop duo. I think that's like... I don't know.
Maybe I'm wrong.
It's a hip-hop duo.
Yeah, that was... Oh, okay.
Featuring Corrupt and Daz Dillinger.
Yeah.
That's Death Row.
That's old school.
That's okay.
All right.
Yeah, I never heard of them.
House 2, a lot of people said this might be Dave's house.
This is a little intense for me.
Anthrax, Slayer, Megadeth, Metallica, Testament, Pantera.
Your house is 8, David.
Dave's house is 8. I'mx, Slayer, Megadeth, Metallica, Testament, Pantera. Your house is eight, David. Dave's so house eight.
I'm either one or eight, but you could slide me
into five. Okay, so eight. Tool,
nine-inch nails, Rage against the Machine, Corn,
Marilyn Manson, White Zombie. Enough people
to tag me in this.
I've been through everyone. I never was a
Marilyn Manson guy.
Charles Manson guy. I fucked a little Marilyn Manson.
Beautiful people.
You know what I learned before this podcast?
Is that House 9 featuring Primus.
Dylan didn't know Primus.
He does not know the joy of Winona's big brown beaver.
No.
Is Will House 9?
Or House 7?
There's not a house here.
House is House 6. Which is Green Day, Blink-182, My Chemical Romance,
Fall Out Boy, The Used, All-American Rejects.
No, Will is House 3.
Will doesn't listen to any classic rock.
House 3 is a great, great house.
That's a good house.
That's a great house.
Oh, yeah, he's gotten into the dead room.
Honestly, that might be my house.
House 5, I never listen to these guys.
I mean, it's rap, and it's's only rap house on there which i love you got wu-tang you got like nine dudes in there i know we're not at least it's a big house it is a big house house eight smells
dave i don't know if you want to why did this guy make this and how did why did it go off
like this went legit viral because people love engagement hacks like this.
We could do this with, like, name your house and live with, like,
fucking fast food meals and it would go viral.
Somebody should do this with podcasts.
Do that.
People forget I used to fuck with Nirvana pretty hard.
Really?
Yeah.
Mid-90s.
I went through a little phase.
Are you ashamed of it?
Of course not.
Nirvana goes, man.
Was this before or after the self-inflicted gunshot wound?
Did he pass on?
What year?
94?
April 5th, 1994.
Randy's birthday.
Oh, yeah, Randy's birthday.
Randy always makes it about himself.
So Randy, theoretically, is a reincarnation of Kurt Cobain.
I guess it was around the time that that happened.
Didn't we speculate that Randy might have...
What?
I don't know.
There was speculation that maybe the reincarnation of Kurt Cobain is Randy.
The one problem with that whole theory is that there's eight people born every...
A person born every second, right?
And a person dies every eight?
So you kind of got to
split some souls up a little bit to make that
work. Well, the world lost a great
musician that day, but we gained Randy Trimbaki.
That's out.
We gained the guy who
gave us the testicle segment
today. Gave us the testy segment.
The sweeping TikTok.
House 4 is real wild.
I know one band from it, Greta Van Fleet, Fever 333, Royal Blood, The Glorious Sons, Highly Suspect, Bad Flower.
I don't know any of those bands.
I'm 37.
House 7 could not be more abstract to me.
I don't know a single band.
You don't know Lamb of God?
Parkway Drive?
Parkway Drive is pretty good.
I don't know Parkway Drive.
I know Lamb of God is pretty intense.
Bullet for my Valentine.
That's aggressive.
Don't kill your Valentine.
So, Dave, are you like, you're a house 8 in the streets,
but a house 1 in the sheets, but a house one in the sheets.
Is that what you're saying?
Yeah.
It's either one, five, or eight for me.
Although, do you know how difficult it is for me to turn down the butthole surfers?
In house nine, Primus, Ween, Green Jelly, butthole surfers, meat puppets, and Mr. Bungle.
Oh, the puppets, not the...
I'm renting a room in House 3 and House 5.
I'm going to go back and forth.
Does Parks like music yet?
Oh, yeah.
What's he into?
Blippi?
He's not a Blippi guy, no.
Not old school Blippi.
He likes the song Bad Boys from the show Cops, you know?
Bad boys, bad boys.
What you gonna do?
What you gonna do when they come for you?
Christopher Walken, but he has been hired to redo the song.
Go.
Bad boys, bad boys.
What you gonna do?
Kind of crushed that.
Keep going.
What you gonna do when they come for you?
You kind of fell out of character there.
That's all right.
It is hard to stay in that mode it's hard to do you match that walking on its own
but you add layers to it like walking well look i'm just i'm trying to test you since you won't
take the typing test i'm trying to walk and test you and for the most part you've passed but
sometimes when i add another layer it's like uh you know when you're playing tetris
on your Game Boy
and you get the stacks real high?
That's me adding layers.
It's not at all like that.
At all.
So does he have like a Spotify, or is he a Pandora guy like you, or Apple Music?
What are you?
I'm Apple Music, but I might be switching soon.
Does he have one?
No.
No, my six-year-old son doesn't have his own Spotify.
I feel like that's not that weird.
I feel like that's strange.
What would he listen to?
I had CDs at six.
He doesn't have a phone.
American Idiot, first one.
He doesn't have a phone.
He's six.
Was that really your first CD?
First CD was American Idiot.
Was that the one with the grenade heart?
Yes.
What was your first CD that you purchased?
Oasis.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, so you were in what, like seventh grade?
I bought it at North Cross Mall, which no longer exists.
I skate there on Tuesdays.
It's a skate park now.
Hockey.
Is that really where you play?
Yeah, Tuesdays.
Okay.
Randy, what was your first, did you ever buy a CD?
Your mic's still on.
You can talk.
I burnt a lot of CDs.
Okay, good answer.
You used Livewire, or excuse me, LimeWire, or FrostWire?
LimeWire.
I was a FrostWire guy.
Napster, even.
I went Napster, LimeWire, Kazaa.
That was a big LimeWire guy.
I think Kazaa's the one that finally ended my parents' desktop.
The old gateway.
Yeah.
That old
download in a movie.
Like what kind of movie?
Bad Boys 2.
I think I downloaded
like the Pamela
Tommy Lee video
on LimeWire
way back in the day.
My buddy's dad had it.
And I don't know why we found it.'re making a movie about them yeah and you know what i didn't watch it i protested i was like i'm not
cool with watching this you didn't watch it no i i left i walked home i skateboarded home yeah
nobody wants to see that yeah get out of here you guys have no class is what i told them i still
haven't talked to those guys they never forgave me for leaving that day but i think i made the right choice right you know what the most unrealistic
part of american pie is that when the guy fucks a pie no okay when they're doing the the live stream
and she's like changing or whatever um and there's it goes off without a hitch there's no there's no
glitches there's's no buffering,
and there's like a million people
trying to watch it at one time.
It would never have happened.
Yeah, that's fair.
Do you think if they had to remake that movie,
they would include that whole storyline?
Yeah, it's a little problematic.
Oh, no chance.
Like spying on somebody,
then accidentally spying on somebody else.
Then everybody sees you...
Twice. Pop top. accidentally spying on somebody else yeah then everybody everybody sees you uh uh twice pop top gym good show for that franchise man the the those the sequels were some of the worst sequels ever
created and i know they're near and dear to will's heart because I think it's like Northern Michigan, but come on.
Anyway, anything else on music or what was that segment even about?
What house would you live in? Oh, yeah.
Did you ever say where you're at?
Me?
Yeah.
You're three.
No, I go three or six.
I post up with Blank and Green Day.
Three, of course, Led Zeppelin, The Doors, This Is All Your Classic Rock,
The Dead, Pink Floyd, Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix.
Did you go through a hendrix phase uh i respect hinders a lot and i like some of his music but i never went through a phase no can i out myself as having a jimmy hendrix blacklight
poster with a black light that was nailed to my or screwed into my wall i had a black i had
multiple black light things and a lava lamp. Dude, you were so...
But I was completely...
This is in like seventh, eighth grade.
I was completely not doing any drugs or anything bad.
Did you have like a couple skateboard decks mounted as well?
They were mounted in the garage.
Nice.
Yeah, that's where I kept my decks,
my two alien workshop boards.
Now it's time for the segment that everybody loves.
It's This Weekend in Fun,
presented by Vizzy Hart-Seltzer.
Vizzy's back.
Yep.
They never went away.
I've been drinking them.
Guess what?
Guess who had to apologize to their wife because on Saturday,
she was looking for a Vizzy in the fridge, and I was like,
I did not – I don't have any.
You drank them all?
Yeah.
I drank all of Vizzy.
Damn.
You know what, though?
I'm a true gentleman and a hopeless romantic.
I went to the gas station, and I bought a 12-pack and brought them back just for her.
Did you?
Come on.
Yeah, I'm that kind of guy.
What a guy.
You know, it's tough.
You walk into the store, and you're like, man, there's like 5,000 hard seltzers.
Which one am I going to choose?
I'm just a normal person buying hard seltzer for the first time.
How about this?
Choose the one that has antioxidant vitamin C from Super Fruit Acerola.
That's the one I'm choosing.
It also just tastes the best.
It really does.
Let's get that out there.
I've had probably 10 different hard seltzers in the last few years.
It's my favorite, and I would tell you if it wasn't.
But it is.
I'm still stuck on the lemonade flavors, man.
That's kind of my personal fave.
Sure.
What's that song that you do, Dylan?
Watermelon sugar. Hi. No no the other one you don't
have to make him do this about the super fruit oh as a roller is a super fruit super fruit
it's super for all day that one that's the one yeah you're thinking of that one you made him
do that you know he wasn't gonna do it until you prompted him. Busy, busy, busy.
Can't you see?
You know, they're paying us to do these ads.
Yeah.
And we're moving big time.
Taking care of business.
No.
All right.
We've got flavors like, such as pineapple mango, black cherry lime,
strawberry kiwi, blueberry pomegranate, papaya passion fruit.
Say that five times fast.
Go.
Papaya passion fruit. Don't, don fast. Go. Papaya passion fruit.
Don't, don't really.
Watermelon, strawberry, blackberry, lemon, and raspberry tangerine.
They've also got, as Dylan alluded to, the lemonade hard seltzers as well as a watermelon hard seltzer.
I like both of those things.
The lemonade flavors, by the way, are sugar-free.
Yeah.
The other ones have very little sugar.
One gram.
One gram.
As opposed to the lemonade, which is zero.
Well, Vizzy, you can enjoy refreshment now with a vitamin C,
antioxidant vitamin C, that is, and 5% ABV, 100 calories.
And like Dylan just said, less than one gram of sugar per can,
real cane sugar, that is.
Every sip of Vizzy is more exhilarating.
Oh, yeah, the Vizzy lemonade, zero sugar.
I always forget that.
I mean, one gram is fine with me.
Zero, that's just loco. Step up your seltzer game with Vizzy Lemonade, zero sugar. I always forget that. I mean, one gram is fine with me. Zero is just, that's just loco.
Step up your seltzer game with Vizzy.
To find out where you can purchase Vizzy, go to VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash washed.
That's VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash washed.
To get updates on their latest flavor drops and more, sign up for emails at VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash subscribe.
Must be 21 or older.
So that's not going to apply to some of the college hunks.
Not all the hunks, I'm saying, can do that.
The elevator boys have got to wait a few years.
Elevator boys have better wait.
No, we're watching you guys.
When that elevator door shuts.
Dylan, what do you got going this weekend?
Give me something real cool.
Point of view, you reach for the same hard seltzer in the fridge at the store.
And it's the elevator, boys.
It gives you that look.
Okay, I'm sorry.
Do they just mob together?
They're always together.
But what are the other boys doing when it's only the one guy locking eyes?
Are they just sitting there like?
They're the one recording.
I don't know.
They're just there vibing.
They're behind the camera just gassing them up like, dude, you got this.
Dude, give us that one look.
Show those dimples off.
Let's go.
Anyway.
What are you doing this weekend?
Look, I have nothing, man.
Okay.
Parks will be with his mother as she has some of her family in town.
So I'll be hanging out with Bay and Lil' Bay, and I'll be looking to do something, man.
I know you're playing golf, so I guess you're not hanging out with me.
But if anybody wants to hang, like you have my number, I'm ready to do it.
I want a mob.
I want to throw back a Vizzy or two.
That would be fantastic.
21 or older.
If you're 21 or older, hit me up.
No, please don't.
You know,
they won't let you, when you call up
the hunks to come help you move,
they won't just chill with you? Yeah, you can't pay them
under the table just to hang out and watch a ball game.
Well, if you book them by the hour, can't you just...
You'd think that. It's outside the scope of our job
duties. They show up with their
back braces on.
All right, where's the furniture? Actually,
let's just watch this ball game.
Hey, man, relax.
Hey, calm down.
We'll get to moving in a minute.
I got some hard seltzer with Acerola if you guys just want to hang out.
Dude, it's wild card Saturday.
Oh, it is.
Go Bills.
Come on.
Let's watch some football.
Oh, yeah, I'm watching football.
We got Weed'em Boys on Sunday.
Oh.
Well, Weed'em Boys every day, but they're playing Sunday. Weedham boys.
Weedham elevator boys. I'm looking to do something.
Oh, I have a date. That's right.
I have a date Saturday. With who? With my fiance.
Oh, that's kind of cool. Where are you going?
A place I haven't been before. Tiny Box
Woods.
Hold me closer, Tiny Box Woods.
There's one in Austin. There is a couple
of them. It's pretty good.
Yeah, I've never been.
Excited to try it.
So I'll be doing that Saturday.
What time?
I don't know.
What night?
Saturday.
All right.
I'm just trying to get people to show up.
Right.
No one's going to show up.
Tiny Boxwood has the ice cream and cookies dessert.
They do.
You have to do it.
I feel like such a tourist recommending this to you, but you have to try it. I'm going to go. I'm going to do it.
Pretty good. Damn, you needed a
drink before, too? What?
Yeah. You trying to link? No, I'll be in
Houston, as you'll find out momentarily.
Is Ellis Reservation just for two?
I'd love to join.
Would you? Yeah, I would.
And your wife? No.
There's you. Me and Randy.
That's how you tripod.
You want to add you on for real?
I got to see what the plan is.
We have to get a sitter probably.
We have a sitter for a little bit.
Do they want a real hellion, almost one-year-old?
Possibly.
Man, he is crawling like crazy. I'll straighten his ass out.
You saw him the other day crawling around your place.
Yeah, he didn't want me to hold him, man.
What's his problem?
The one time you held him, he threw up on you multiple times.
No, I held him again in my house, and he started crying immediately like I was a monster.
Well, he knows that you used to be a piece of shit.
That's true.
That's all I got, man.
Pretty excited about this weekend, weekend actually i don't know why
what are your what are your football picks or do we have to tune in too much what are you doing
is that tonight or that's tomorrow yeah live stream too much dip we do it every thursday night
6 30 central brett yeah can you follow that act?
Sure.
I'm going to Houston on Saturday, I believe.
Friday is pretty wide open, though.
You're here.
Yeah.
Pretty wide open if you want to get into some stuff on Friday.
Well, Dylan's over there texting.
It looks like he's making plans.
You want to do something Friday? Just face in his phone right now.
Brett's over here telling about it.
He's telling us about his dope weekend, and you're over there on the phone.
I thought you were going to be in Houston.
I'm going Saturday.
Oh.
But Friday is pretty open.
Now he wants to link.
What do we got on the radar?
What's the radar looking like?
He got called out because he was – now he wants to link.
It's going to – Saturday looks fantastic.
Sunny in the 50s.
I love the 50s.
Friday is sunny in 75, like that song. Dude, let's mob. What song? Sunny in the 50s. I love the 50s. Friday is sunny in 75 like that song.
Dude, let's mob.
What song?
Sunny in 75.
Summer of 65?
No.
Sunny in 75
by Joe Nichols.
Is he the tequila
clothes fall off guy?
A yellow two-piece
and black Ray-Bans.
Your bare feet covered in the sand.
White jet trails across the blue sky.
Your ponytail showing off the sunshine.
Like a postcard out of nowhere.
You get to me, you give me that smile, and I'm somewhere.
Somewhere sunny and 75.
I need to be applauded.
Joe Nichols is the tequila makes your clothes fall-off guy.
Anyway, what else?
What are you doing in Houston?
You got a wedding?
Birthday party.
Wedding next week in College Station.
Can't wait.
Is that your first time to College Station?
No.
I've been to Wins and More in College Station,
but my first time in Kyle Field.
Home of the fighting Texas Aggies.
Man, did you check out that recruiting class?
A lot of five stars.
According to the ESPN rankings, it's the best class of all time.
What?
So if they don't win the next three natties, it's a loss.
They took big-time advantage of the NIL money situation.
What brands in College Station are pumping kids full of cash?
Pizza Hut.
They have one of those Pizza Hut buffets that you can go in.
The old-school ones that are really good.
It's booster money, I'm pretty sure.
Why is Pizza Hut so much better when you can get it from their buffet than it is delivered?
Because it's not, to me, I think it's a tier two, possibly tier three delivery pizza.
It's no Domino's.
Non-spawn, real talk.
Fair.
Homemade pan, Domino's, pepperoni, extra cheese, the best pizza outside of mom-and-pop places.
What else?
That's it.
Houston Saturday, getting in and do a little birthday party stuff,
and then back on Sunday.
I want to golf, but I can't.
Zaddy's playing golf Saturday.
I'm Zaddy.
You got the back-to-back brownie points built up or no?
We're kind of at the point.
So my wife, she started a new job so she's working from home the entire month as she's training hunks no they weren't
now she interviewed but got all the way to the third interview but they went with somebody they
went with somebody else they were looking for somebody a little hunkier okay but uh so she's home working from home which means she's getting
a lot of a lot of dave time good for her and i don't know if you guys could tell but uh i'm
probably somebody you can only take in doses i think even that includes my wife probably feels
the same so she's been kind of imploring me to play golf and she knows i'm when i don't play
golf or my friends are playing golf and I'm not invited.
If I'm bitching at the house, I'm bitching about not playing golf.
And she's finally just like, would you please go play golf?
Okay.
And I am playing golf.
I am.
I'm happy to announce I'm back on my bullshit.
Been a couple weeks.
Been probably a month, actually.
So just going to go out there and have fun, knock it around a little bit.
You know? What's the word? Bomb bomb and giggle is that what tiger said he didn't giggle i don't know he had a term for not familiar okay well that's sad i brought that up i think bryson
says bomb and gouge right bomb and gouge yeah yeah well sunny and 75 on friday there's there's
potential for beers to be had.
Well, I'm going to get out there.
Frosty boys.
Okay.
I'm going to get out there.
I'm going to hit some drives like 280.
I'm going to top a few three woods.
I'm going to chunk a wedge or two.
I'm going to blade a sandwich.
It's going to be fun, though.
I'm going to enjoy every minute of it.
I will go hang out Friday.
Okay.
I would like that.
We'll be back. Friday sounds
like a good Woodrow's day.
I haven't been to Woodrow's in six
months.
Friday might be kind of lit.
You want to make it a day? You want to
get all fucked up before you have to go out of town the next day?
Although you don't really get hung over. Should we do a
Denny's somewhere on Friday? I'm going to Denny's.
I'll do Denny's. A Denny's.
Oh, Denny's. Want to do like Matt's. A Denny. Oh, Denny.
Want to do like Matt's?
No, it'll be packed.
It's always packed.
We always go anyway.
Yeah, it's true.
Yeah, I love waiting two hours for my table.
Do you think people listen to this part of the podcast and they're like,
like, yeah, I enjoy this stuff?
They've all stopped at this point.
Somebody DM me saying that. Six people are still listening.
Somebody DM me in the last month saying that we should stop doing this weekend in fun.
If you're still listening, email Brett and be like, yeah, I heard that.
They say our weekends aren't that fun anymore.
But I say, dude, I'm having fun.
It's fun to have fun.
It's fun to have fun.
Is there weirdly like an NFL Friday game?
No, they do Monday.
They do Monday.
Two Saturday, two Sunday, and a Monday because of the seven teams.
By the way, the balls on that guy to DM me
and say that. Like, hey, you should stop doing this segment.
He was nice about it.
Anyway, and it's clearly
not occupying any real estate in my dome.
He's not listening. No, he is.
He's a good listener.
Or she.
I'll fight him if I have to.
It's fine. You're like the fast lane westbound bonus content
randy turn your mic on we need your weekend plans you young little bitch i'm sorry he's aggressive
i forgot we were recording no no it's fine uh i don't think i'm doing anything friday so if you
guys want to hang out maybe i'll hang out that's good stuff uh saturday though i think i'm going
to tickets haven't been bought yet but a pop punk cover band concert
that turns into a silent disco at night.
Great, man.
I'm not going to lie, that sounds terrible.
Good thing you and intern Adam didn't get COVID
last time you did that exact thing.
Literally the last time you went.
People know he got COVID.
We don't know if he got it crowd surfing,
but he did crowd surf.
So in our world, he got it crowd surfing.
Wow.
Are you going with Adam?
He literally crowd surfed.
I'm going with my roommate, but I mean, Adam, if you want to go.
Can't hear you.
I feel like Adam would be all over that.
Pop punk that turns into a silent disco.
Do they do Simple Plan?
I think so.
They're called Y'all Out Boy.
They're very good, actually.
I've been to their show.
Oh.
I've never been to the
silent disco part of this,
but I've been to the
pop-punk concert.
It's fantastic.
This is a collab, I think.
I don't know.
It seems cool, but...
We should do a party
where we get Y'all Out Boy.
Maybe for our South By party
that we're not probably
going to do.
Yeah.
I mean, we could be
thinking meet-up.
We were going to do
a really big, cool South By party, but Dylan told us we couldn't. That's right. I mean, we could be thinking meetup. We were going to do a really big, cool South by party,
but Dylan told us we couldn't.
That's right.
I did.
I'm going to pull a plug on it.
But the weird thing is when he told us we couldn't do it,
he did it in Christopher Walken voice.
That's how he was like, I don't agree.
No party.
That's good.
That was bad.
All right.
We'll see you tomorrow for the dad pod on the Opto tier.
Will will be back.
You'll probably like it more because I'm not hosting.
Goodbye.
We're going to have fun.
Goodbye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye. you