Circling Back - Dillon's Christmas Tree & Human Steaks
Episode Date: November 23, 2020A breakdown of Dillon's Christmas Tree Rating System, the old man who saved a puppy from an alligator in Florida, human-grown steaks, Greg Norman's racy Instagram post, and Brett's Breaking News. Sup...port us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (14:30) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (28:31) Dillon’s Christmas Tree Rating System (41:38) Old Man Saves Puppy From Gator (53:40) Human-Grown Steaks (58:08) Greg Norman’s Hammer Butcher Box: www.butcherbox.com/circlingback (SIX free grass-fed steaks) Poncho: www.ponchooutdoors.com (CIRCLINGBACKGIFT for free hat or t-shirt with outdoor shirt purchase) Headspace: www.headspace.com/circling (FREE month trial) Raycon: www.buyraycon.com/steam (20% off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge my name is
will defreeze to my right david carter roth hey happy uh international podcast day is it
is it was not aware Is it maybe podcast week?
I just said it because it's true.
It's true because I made it up just now.
This is awareness for all podcasts across the globe, including this one.
And it fits nicely, Will, into podcast week.
Yes.
I didn't know if it was going to be podcast week this week, but this is big.
It's weird that podcast week falls on a week during which we don't record a full schedule of episodes.
It is Thanksgiving week.
This is fair.
But, you know, we don't make the rules here.
We just celebrate podcast week when it's here.
What did we not do?
Circling back, we'll have all of the regularly scheduled.
Incorrect.
That's not true.
What's the problem?
Wednesday is not happening.
We're taking it off.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
It's an internal holiday
for the Watch Media members.
Of course.
I'll miss this.
I'll promise Patreon episodes
will be released.
So nothing on Wednesday?
Nothing.
Well, actually,
the people are going to get
two episodes on Wednesday, Dave.
Nothing from us, I mean.
I don't have any obs to be here.
Here's what we're going to do this week.
I'm going to spell it out for everyone out there that's listening that's just like,
What's going on?
What's going on?
What's the deal with podcast?
This is going to be great for me, too.
We're recording today.
All right?
And this episode will be released right after we record it.
Also, too much dip is today.
Tomorrow, we're going to be in the studio, and we're going to be recording listener voicemails.
Okay?
Listener voicemails are going to be released on Wednesday this week.
Imagine that.
I knew that.
That's never been done.
Say you're traveling.
Say you're not traveling, and you're sitting at home, and you're just like, man, I just want to.
We're not going to make you wait until Friday this week.
Wednesday is Friday.
Enjoy your voicemails on Wednesday.
That being said, because of The Bachelor, we will also be recording Wednesday's Bachelor episode on Wednesday.
So if you're a patron, you're getting double feature Wednesday.
Yeah.
So just Bachelor for us Wednesday.
Correct.
No regular CB.
Correct.
Mail-in, as I explained on the mail-in last week,
we're calling it off this week.
No mail-in.
We're going on break.
Deal with it.
Deal with it.
You'll be back though, right?
Yeah.
Okay. Deal with it. Scaries it. He'll be back though, right? Yeah. Okay.
Yeah.
Deal with it.
Scaries will be released
on Sunday as normal.
As I told Brett,
you know,
people probably need
an episode on that Sunday.
You know,
Sunday after Thanksgiving.
You're just dragging
your ass back to work.
You're getting slaughtered, yeah.
Are we doing more stuff?
Hard to say.
Okay.
I'm going to just
put this out there.
No Thursday night football live stream no you have
to well it's on thanksgiving you have to i know thanksgiving i just i don't want to ask micah and
kj dylan i don't really care about you right i don't want them to have to go away from their
families it's sponsored by lubies this week though no it's actually furs. You don't know furs, do you? It's the Luby's.
It's the Luby's, but it's all you can eat.
Oh.
Slightly lower in quality, but it's all you can eat to make up for it.
It's not good.
Give or take.
It's very bad.
It's Luby's.
They went out of business, right?
Apparently, that's what happened, yeah.
Too bad.
Yeah.
Brett kind of dropped the bag on the Golden Corral sponsorship.
We're not the demo they're looking for.
Yeah.
Okay, well, they should believe in us.
Go to Fazoli's instead.
Yeah.
Truly an all-time bad place.
No, dude, don't talk.
Don't talk.
We don't slander Fazoli's.
I do.
Never had Fazoli's.
We had one at San Marcos.
Never went.
Didn't you say, like, the garlic bread at Fazoli's is, like, your favorite thing in the world or something?
Well, the beauty of the garlic bread at Fazoli's is like your favorite thing in the world or something. Well, the beauty of the garlic bread at Fazoli's is that it's cardboard,
but it seems as though they soak it in a layer, like an inch of butter before they hand them out.
And so they're just absolutely dripping.
Here's the thing.
You can make anything taste good if you douse it in butter and just do some garlic salt on it.
Yeah.
Anything.
Yeah.
It's the Italian glizzy.
It's not what it is yes it is
no
uh huh
no
uh huh
no
I'm trying to come up
with something that
better represents
what you just said
cabagoola
cabacola
could be that right
fucking gonzo morning
over here
wow
what
it's a Monday
you're firing
I called you
it's a morning I heard're firing. I called you.
It's a morning.
I heard it.
I just don't, you know.
It's kind of a stretch, I think, but one of the best gifts of all time, the Alonzo morning.
Truly.
Just processing a lot. That's one that doesn't get old.
Do we know what the situation was for him there?
I think he explained it once.
I would love that.
Someone was like, what happened here?
And I think he tried to recall exactly what was going through his brain.
I would love if somebody just did an, what happened here? And I think he tried to recall exactly what was going through his brain. I would love if somebody
just did an entire thing
where they just interviewed
the most famous GIF people
and they just got down
to brass tacks.
Yeah.
Is the first question like,
is it GIF or GIF?
Okay.
We're not doing that.
You know what's really
fucking good garlic bread?
Is H-E-B's homemade one in the big aluminum thing.
See, I'm trash.
I'm not opposed to just going and getting the one in the plastic wrapping in the free section.
Texas toast.
I don't do the Texas toast.
My dad's a big fan of doing the Texas toast.
Why is it Texas toast?
I don't know.
You guys don't claim it hard.
No.
I mean, like, Whataburger has it on their menu.
But it's not like a thing where it's like,
man, my grandmommy made the best Texas toast.
That's my Texas guy accent.
The things that, when I moved down here, the things that I didn't realize were so,
that people rode so hard for were Whataburger.
Like, I knew people liked it, but I didn't know people rode for it.
And breakfast tacos.
When I first moved here, I didn't even know that breakfast tacos
were a popular thing here.
And everyone's like, oh dude, you've got a lot to learn.
I didn't know about breakfast tacos
until probably high school.
I'm glad I know about them now. It wasn't like a thing
that my parents had a take
on breakfast tacos. I feel like that
it wasn't a huge deal in the
90s. I could be way off on that.
You could. You could.
In fact, I probably am.
I'll go as far to say I've never had one until I came here.
Austin is kind of like breakfast taco central, I think.
Oh, it's the hub.
Much more so than Dallas.
It's the hub.
I think that's probably one of the reasons why.
I disagree, but I don't really know why.
Because you're just a big dum-dum?
I agree because I have no experience outside of Austin living anywhere that has breakfast tacos.
People in Austin take—everywhere offers breakfast tacos.
I mean, you can get them anywhere.
I feel like you would get some blowback from our friends just south down on 35 San Antonio Way as being the hub for breakfast tacos.
Fair.
But I don't have enough experience to know how.
Breakfast tacos is like a traditional Mexican dish, though.
You know what I mean?
It's more like a hipster Mexican food.
Ooh, I don't know about that, but I'm not.
I don't know why again, so I'm going to allow it.
I feel like I'm on to something.
You ever had the breakfast taco at Matt's El Rancho? I don't think I'm articulating it properly, but I'm on to something.
The what?
You ever had the breakfast taco at Matt's El Rancho?
Can't say that I have.
Isn't it just like completely giant?
Yes, it's absolutely gargantuan.
I don't even know if they still offer it, to be honest.
I remember –
They've modified their menu, and I think that might have gotten the ax. In my 20s, I went there violently hungover,
ordered them, and never took a bite. Just looked at them. Have you had the Don Juan
at Juan and a Million? No, what's that? Juan and a Million is a little Mexican food joint on East
Cesar Chavez on the east side. And it's famous for its breakfast burrito called the Don Juan.
and it's famous for its breakfast burrito called the Don Juan.
And it is huge, and it's one Idaho potato in each burrito.
That's a lot of potato.
Just a bunch of egg and bacon, and it's all wrapped in a giant tortilla.
And they have one of those contest things, like who can eat the most Don Juans.
I think the record is like six and a half.
Do they smell as good as Randy's homemade breakfast burritos?
They're basically a giant version of Randy's homemade breakfast burritos, yeah.
Have you ever had the burrito from Matt's El Rancho?
No.
What?
No.
I don't know. I did it one time because I just wasn't feeling like getting my usual.
I have to say, pleasantly surprising.
That's not something I will really ever order at a sit-down restaurant is a burrito.
It seems difficult to eat and be social.
Oh, no.
It's purely fork and knife at Mattel Rancho.
It's absolutely smothered in chili con carne sauce.
Ooh, let's go.
That is chili with meat.
Yeah.
It's cone carne.
It's not cone carne.
Cone carne.
If we're going to talk fast food,
we could just throw the In-N-Out line on the rundown.
What the hell?
Is that real?
Yeah.
Where was that?
Colorado.
Fargo?
Because when they were introduced to Texas, I believe the first one was in Frisco.
And there was a line very similar to what I saw.
People were crying.
So much so that I thought that that's what,
it was like they were running back that story.
They were, like the local news, they would interview people.
They're like, I moved here, I moved here from Sacramento when I was 12.
Oh my gosh.
And it's just so good to have it in Outback.
Yeah, when the first one opened in Frisco, Texas,
there was a line, like I think a couple miles long of cars just lined up waiting.
For just a very, a very okay hamburger.
It's a good burger.
The burger's fine.
It's fine.
The fries are just all-time bad.
All-time bad fries.
And it ruins the experience of the restaurant because the fries are so bad.
And you can fix it by going animal style and just smothering them in stuff,
but I don't necessarily want to do that every time I eat in them.
They do have good milkshakes.
I'd rather order a Gangnam Style.
Bring all the boys to the yard.
If you order one sometime, you know what I'm going to do to it?
You're going to drink it.
I'm going to drink it.
Do they do milkshakes?
I drink your milkshakes.
Yes, they do.
That seems excessive to get a burger, fries, and a milkshake.
Sometimes you just need a milkshake.
That's going to make you feel very bad.
I've never gone.
So I live right next door to an In-N-Out.
My apartment literally wraps around an In-N-Out.
I pass it every time.
And I've thought about going there just for a milkshake once in a while if I'm ever craving it.
But I think that's just such a slippery slope that I haven't done it.
All of a sudden, I'm just a milkshake guy.
I want you to do that.
If it blows your little...
I don't need a bunch of boys
showing up in my apartment
being like what up
what were you gonna say
if it blows your little D off
it's so good
he's gonna wanna keep going back
is what I'm saying
mash that strawberry button
ooh man
Pete Terry's has a really strong
strawberry milkshake
they're limited edition
ones are just the bomb
I want Will to go down there
on like a Sunday night
and he's like feeling good
he has some CBD in his system
gets a milkshake goes back up lights his candle Sunday's scary's night and he's like feeling good he has some CBD in his system gets a milkshake
goes back up
lights his candle
Sunday Scaries candle
and he's like
he puts on like
a replay of a La Liga game
and then all of a sudden
you just
it's
there's this little straw
that he doesn't see
and it just slithers
under his door
just goes over his shoulder
down into his milkshake
and it just starts
slowly disappearing
and he's like
what the fuck?
and it's me
you're drinking his milkshake.
It's me about four miles south.
Is it because you're an oil man?
This is my son and partner, Roger Dorn.
I've abandoned the forums.
I don't know about that movie, man.
To anyone listening for the first time,
I apologize for everything that we've done
in this first 10 minutes.
Can we get some programming notes before we really get into it today?
I've abandoned my website.
We've abandoned video.
We've pivoted.
Go follow Circle and Back Pod on the Grom.
And me on the group.
Also, go follow Wash Media on the Grom.
Please.
We're 5,000 followers.
We're halfway.
We're halfway there. We're on halfway to our goal.
Our goal is 10 million.
Living on the Grom.
Take my hand.
If we get to 10 million, we don't have to do this pod anymore.
We can just live off of that.
Yeah, for sure.
That's the goal.
That's why we're trying to get there.
So if anyone out there listening knows, 9.9 million followers.
Just tell millions of your friends. Go follow us. million followers. Just tell your friends.
Go follow us.
Everybody needs to tell millions of friends.
Tell 1,000 of your closest friends about us, please.
It would be awesome if you guys did that.
Yeah.
Also, we already did this week's schedule, but just to refresh,
we're dropping both Patreon episodes on Wednesday.
It's just a weird week, guys.
Happy Thanksgiving to everybody.
Go leave a review and five-star rating.
Also, Twitch.
Twitch.tv slash watch media.
I'm not sure what our Twitch schedule will be this week, but we'll be around.
We've got some fancy lights on the way, speaking of Twitch.
All of them?
All of the lights.
Yeah.
All the lights are coming.
Studio lights.
Man, that's really exciting news.
Per Randy's request.
We're talking Twitch.
Twitch. Twitch. Lighting is important, Dave. Also, go buy really exciting news. Per Randy's request. We're talking Twitch. Twitch!
Twitch! Lighting is important, Dave.
Also, go buy a Sunday Scary Senate candle.
Just go check the link in bio of anything.
Or just go to vellabox.com slash Sunday Scary. From the ring light guy over here.
Yeah, ring light boy over here.
You're jealous of my ring. I am jealous of your ring.
It's kind of annoying. I had the opportunity
to completely cuck that ring from you, and I didn't
do it. Cuck ring. You can probably acquire one if you want to. I had the opportunity to completely cuck that ring from you, and I didn't do it.
Cuck ring.
You could probably acquire one if you wanted to.
I know, but Micah gave it to me to give to Dave, and I thought that this was some kind of... That would have been just downright thievery.
Yeah.
That would have been a middleman just completely running off on me.
Sometimes you've got to steal shit from your friends, though.
If you look better in something that they have, you've just got to steal it.
I have some of my friends' clothes.
That would be like getting a bunch of blue
apron that you're supposed to distribute to a bunch of hosts for a podcast and decided to keep
it all for yourself without telling anybody it'd be something like that yeah oh that's exactly what
it's like let's do this weekend can we do the the biggest announcement what we're selling stuff yeah
we will be selling stuff i just we i don't know if we have details on it, so I didn't want to. Oh, yeah.
Tomorrow.
We're light on deets?
I'm not sure if we're a hard tomorrow, Brad.
I think we're...
Mr. Deets over here.
No, see, this is why I don't tease stuff, like hardly ever.
Why can't we go tomorrow?
Because once you start teasing, that's when shit really starts hitting the fan.
Dude, he's a teasing fool, man.
Dude, you can't be teasing.
We're selling stuff.
There's going to be merchandise.
A merch drop.
Yeah, there's a merch drop coming.
Like a huge merch drop.
Like a new store.
Just keep an eye out.
A new store is coming.
We'll see about it.
Keep an eye out.
We have equity in Kohl's.
Yes.
So you will be purchasing
Washed Media items with Kohl's Cash.
Kohl's Cash or Bitcoin only?
Let's do this weekend of fun.
Let's recap this shit.
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Yeah.
I couldn't wait on my ribeyes, by the way.
I cooked both of them in about a three-day span.
I just went to town.
Wow, dude.
Must be nice.
There it is.
I didn't get a ribeye, Brett.
No ribeye?
You didn't?
I got some good steaks.
I got some good steaks.
I didn't get a ribeye, though, unfortunately.
I guess I'm going to have to go dip back in.
That was probably a New York strip, Dylan.
Dare I say that...
No, they were ribeyes.
Dare I say they were very flavorful.
I know the difference, David.
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dylan what'd you do this weekend yeah i'll keep them on pretty short and that's uh because i
really didn't do anything oh man sometimes those are the best weekends i had parts well they are
the best weekends usually but uh you know during the times of covid you're not really stepping out
doing much so homie and i we we just straight chilled Friday and Saturday,
watched a lot of football, went to the playground,
stepped out for a minute to get him a haircut
because we have some family pics we're doing today.
Wow.
He looks fresh to death.
What are you going to wear?
I think I'm going to wear that oatmeal sweater out there
and some navy slacks and some loafers.
Look at you. Wow. Iers. Look at you.
Wow.
I think.
Look at you.
You'll probably see something on the ground eventually.
I can't wait.
Exactly.
You should wear the,
what was that segment we did a couple weeks ago
from that college?
Concordia, University of Michigan?
Condorkia?
You should wear one of those.
David, why would I do that?
I didn't go to school there.
Why don't you go full Tim Taylor and just wear a random sweatshirt?
I'm probably going to stick with my original idea.
That's a dope idea.
Just wearing a good-looking quality sweater, if that's right with you.
What was it, like Michigan Technical College or something?
Don't poo-poo Michigan Tech like that.
Houghton's a great area.
Great hockey team.
Anyway, back to my weekend and fun.
I had a chance to go there.
If you want to shoot on Aquinas, there'll be a chance.
I didn't get a sky like this that I could walk on, but I'm good.
Or skate on, I guess is what we called it.
Don't shoot on Aquinas either.
I take that back.
That is pretty much all I did, folks, so y'all can take it from here.
Take it from here.
I didn't really do anything.
Did the squad do nothing this weekend?
I played golf with Brett Friday.
Yeah, we had fun.
Going through a swing change, though.
It's a hole.
It's hard to play through a swing change.
Well, yeah, you did hit 150 balls the day before.
Yeah.
At least.
Three buckets, he told me.
Now you're going to a chiropractor because of it.
Literally, yeah.
You're too young for that.
I'm going to tell you that right now.
It's not the full back.
It's one spot.
It's just one spot. I feel like. Starts at one. you that right now. It's not the full back. It's one spot. It's just one spot.
I feel like...
Starts at one.
Next thing you know, it's two.
And three.
Because I think you emphasize the other spot that's away from the spot.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm going to work it out for you.
I just need to be punched aggressively in the back, I think.
I can make that happen.
I can use one of those big...
It's like a giant J.
And it has a little ball on the end of it, on the hook part.
And use it to hook around your torso and get your back.
Primrose used to have one of those.
I know what you're saying.
I've never used one.
They are extremely helpful.
Really?
Racquet ball.
Put it up against the wall, between you and the wall, and just kind of rub around.
Same idea, obviously, but it's just a little different way of doing it.
They're cool.
They work.
Okay.
Yeah.
Obviously.
You don't have to get a J hook.
Do you want me to walk on your back?
Yeah, I don't know what they're called.
It's a giant J.
Okay. I know what you're talking about. Those things are great. Yeah. I love them. They're cool. I don't even have back issues a J-hook. Do you want me to walk on your back? Yeah, I don't know what they're called. It's a giant J. Okay.
I know what you're talking about.
Those things are great.
Yeah, yeah.
I love them.
They're cool.
I don't even have back issues, and I just fucking do it.
Giant J.
Giant J.
I'm glad you've started doing it so people can't just get mad at me for doing it.
Dave played really well, though.
Nobody gets mad at you for that.
Oh, there's some haters.
Is it the candle guy?
Maybe the candle guy.
I hit off the tee really well.
Yeah.
Dave was like, usually Dave has a bit, not a hook, but Dave plays a draw.
He was going like straight off the tee, which he was murdering the ball.
Murdering it.
Low spin right now with that tee shot.
Yeah, yeah.
Just piping.
I guess.
Big dogs only.
I guess.
I had fun.
You guys ever had a pre-made Bloody Mary?
Like they sell them.
I ordered a Bloody, and the young lady, this is at the snack shop,
not actually, she didn't have the cart out.
Instead of like getting the, what is it, the Zing Zang and making one,
she just like cracked open a can of a Bloody.
They already had vodka and everything in it and poured it in.
Wasn't that good?
What was the brand?
Out them.
I don't remember.
Do you?
I didn't see it.
And I didn't want to be like, can you?
I don't want to be that guy.
But let me just say this.
It was a bad order because you should not order a Bloody when it's above 70 degrees.
And I did.
And that was a mistake.
Sneaky shots to Zing Zang for just being awesome, by the way.
What's up with that?
It's a great company.
What's up with that?
It's so good.
They got it down perfect.
You don't need anything else.
No.
Yeah, Zing Zang's great.
Yeah, that would have weirded me out.
I'm not sure if I'm about that life.
I feel like it has to be borderline pullover weather to order a bloody.
And it was not.
It was borderline shorts weather.
In fact, did I wear shorts?
I did wear shorts.
You had shorts on per breath.
Yeah, I should not have ordered a bloody.
That's on me.
It's okay.
People make mistakes, dude.
It's just how you rebound from those mistakes.
Well, I rebounded by losing money all weekend.
Nice.
That's good.
I didn't do anything Saturday. I didn't do anything Saturday.
I didn't do anything Sunday.
I watched college football.
Played some Call of Duty with Dylan and KJ.
Did we play Saturday?
Don't believe so.
It was for the boys.
Are you sure?
Maybe that was Klein.
Not sure.
We played with somebody.
Probably Klein.
Yeah, I didn't play with you.
You didn't dip out of the lobby right before you started?
No, I should have.
Dude, it wasn't even the lobby. We were
pinning the game. Dropping it. Much worse.
Dropping it. Jerk, man.
Can't be doing that.
What did you do this weekend, Brett?
I golfed with Dave, and then
for the last two days, more or less,
I've been working on this
merch drop that we're about to do.
We're selling stuff.
We're selling stuff. Also made burgers last night that were probably the best burgers I've ever had.
Did you get any feedback?
No.
You got them from Chevron?
Yeah, Chevron.
A lot, like literally dozens upon dozens, if not a hundred people were like, you one-hand
that thing?
It was just a one-handed joke over and over and over again.
So while I appreciated it. Those guys are doing real it was just the one-handed joke over and over and over again so I'm while I appreciate it those guys are doing real
comedy I did one-handed and I realized the reason I won hamburgers is to like
keep my phone and the other to just scroll Twitter dude don't yeah can we
edit that out I don't want people knowing that put your phone down we
talked your phone has so many germs on it and you're just like just double
that's why he's not double-handed one and the other your phone can wait a
couple of minutes I agree but I just realized that that, that's why he's not double-handed. One and the other. Your phone can wait a couple minutes.
I agree.
But I just realized that's the root of one-handing burgers is for either a beer or to pick the phone up and check what's going on.
Yeah, but the original crux of this entire argument was that, like, you're at a barbecue and you don't have, like, the plates situation, whatever.
Like, you're just doing this in the comfort of your own home, which is even weirder.
That is true.
That does make it worse.
I don't know.
No.
Just risking it all over the carpet.
What was on said burger?
What do you mean, on it?
Just, like, condiments or seasoning?
But on the burger.
Per se.
What does and mean?
No, like, yeah, condiments and toppings.
Fixings.
Fixings.
Tillamook, thick-sliced farmhouse thick-sliced cheddar, mild cheddar.
Shreddy Letty and shredded lettuce.
Dude, if you're doing shredded lettuce, that's two hands all the way, dog.
I disagree.
Yeah, those strays, they'll get the burger juice and the mayonnaise or whatever
and they'll fall on your lap.
It creates just a web
of burger juice.
I'm so disappointed.
Ranch?
No.
Ranch on the burger?
What the fuck?
Okay.
Yeah.
I mean, that's...
I'm sure I've had it.
Fresh or sauteed?
How do you do those onions?
You can't brush it off.
It was good.
You literally said
it was the best burger
you've ever had.
Cold red onions.
In the range.
I don't want that burger. It was good, man. It was my favorite burger you've ever had. Cold red onions. In the range. I don't want that burger.
It was good, man.
It was my favorite burger.
I want it outside of the range.
If onions aren't sauteed, get them out of my face.
Out of my face.
Wait.
No pickles?
I didn't have any.
But I probably wouldn't throw them on anyway.
I'm not really a pickle guy.
I'm not a pickle guy on the burger sometimes, but I do like a good spear with it.
That's fair.
Yeah.
That's fair.
Just something about them, like the juice sometimes, they get too fresh if they're not
like super pickly and they're a little too cucumber-y.
It kind of ruins the savory taste.
Please.
I actually used ButcherBox this weekend, much like Dylan.
Let's go. A little top sirloin action. Let's go. Yeah, I actually used ButcherBox this weekend. Much like Dylan. Let's go.
A little top sirloin action.
Let's go.
Yeah, I did it to him.
Not a low-key weekend.
Was there any footy?
Yes, the international break was over, so more on that.
I'm too much dip.
Did you watch any of the Cetia?
I did not.
All I watched was the English game.
Not the Netflix show, just talking about the EPL.
What? You just reminded me of something. Okay. All I watched was the English game, not the Netflix show, just talking about the EPL. Oh, fuck.
What?
What?
You just reminded me of something.
Okay.
And, yeah, outside of that, I just kind of did my own thing.
It took Rosie for a nice little walk that we finished off with a little baguette prosciutto sandwich from Easy Tiger right across the street.
That's sick, but.
Great.
What?
You got an issue with my walk?
No, I don't.
I don't.
Can't walk my dog?
It's just very Will to finish off the dog walk with a baguette.
Yeah, dude.
It's the baguette sandwich.
It's good.
That place is good.
It's good.
Did you cross South Lamar right in front of you, like jaywalk across?
Yeah, luckily for me, Sunday mornings, not a lot of traffic, so you can just jaywalk
there.
No questions asked.
Brett and I did that recently.
Yeah.
We like frauded it on like a Friday, though.
It was not a good move. It can be dicey. It was. It can be dicey. It's pretty like, Rosie, go, did that recently. Yeah. We like frauded it on like a Friday though. It was not a good move.
It can be dicey.
It was.
It can be dicey.
It's pretty like Rosie, go, go, go.
Yeah, no.
Sometimes you catch yourself just standing in the middle of the road just waiting to
get hit by a car that's trying to get in the turn lane.
Easy Tire doesn't have TVs.
No.
Pretty disappointing.
They did open the upstairs though.
It didn't fit their vibe.
They opened the upstairs.
It fits their vibe if they had TVs that they only played soccer on.
Yeah.
That actually is true.
They need like one or two.
Because we went to watch the Texas game on a Saturday morning.
They just didn't have TVs.
Your boy also started some new TV shows this weekend.
I started watching The Crown.
I started watching The Undoing.
I watched some Crown.
I started watching...
Why are you starting so many at once?
What are you doing?
Because I've realized I don't like binging shows all at once.
Because if I really like it, I'd rather savor it. And so I'm doing one episode a day. So I need a nice little rotation. I don't like binging shows all at once. Because if I really like it, I'd rather savor it.
And so I'm doing one episode a day.
So I need a nice little rotation.
I don't know, man.
Yeah.
And then I started Industry, the other show on HBO that's getting some love.
I'm glad you brought that up.
Because I have an unsolicited recommendation.
Okay.
Netflix.
And I might be very late on this.
I really hope so.
Operation Odessa.
I have not seen this.
That's the one I told you about, Dave.
Isn't it so good?
You watched it?
Yeah.
I told you.
I think Randy pulled the tape on this very podcast.
No, you probably did.
I just...
So fucking awesome.
It was a wild ride.
Highly recommend.
If you're into, i don't know um ex-soviets or soviet submarines
um potentially being brokered for the uh cali cartel from um a miami strip club owner who was
also an enforcer for the mob in new york at one time if that interests you, then yeah, you'll like this, and I think you will.
With interviews with all of these people, by the way.
You'll love to see it.
It's like if you were playing Dave Ruff.
How many reenactments?
None.
Perfect.
If you're playing Dave Ruff Bingo, though, this documentary literally checks everybody.
Russian mobsters in Odessa?
Yeah, that checks out.
There's no connection to Odessa, sadly.
Why?
I don't know. That's weird. You thought they were just out there fracking? Yeah, that checks out. There's no connection to Odessa, sadly. Why? I don't know.
That's weird. You thought they were just out there fracking?
Yeah.
Too fracked to care.
Just running seismic out there.
Please don't say that again.
Why?
Too fracked to care.
That was absolutely someone's username at some point.
Yes, 100%.
Probably numerous. There was probably too fracked to care too there's
like yeah underscore uh dylan you did something else this weekend uh not true
what my tree's been up for a minute oh you just you're just unveiling it now yeah
so you gave your tree a 7.8 rating i I put my tree up, I believe, last weekend.
Okay.
And I waited for Parkston.
I got him the day after I put it up.
We had a little celebratory ornament hanging evening.
It was fantastic.
We had a really good time.
And, yeah, it's a 7.8.
Can you explain to people that maybe are new to the program what you do year after year?
Yeah, so I'm the Christmas tree guy.
I'm the official scorer of Christmas trees.
People on Twitter will constantly send me pictures of their trees or their family's trees or friends' trees or whatever and ask me for a rating from 0 to 10, and I will do so for you.
And you rated your tree.
I have an issue with your rating.
I like to be transparent.
Okay.
What's wrong with my rating, sir?
I think that you're being intentionally modest about your rating.
Oh, I don't know.
Putting yourself sub eight is just kind of being like that.
You're trying to be the everyman right now.
That's an honest, just a straight up honest rating of my tree.
I'm not a ten guy. I think he
was a little generous. Really? I knock off. Klein gave you a 5.8. He knocked off a whole three
points for colored lights, which seems aggressive to me. Klein's a dumb dog. I don't mind the
colored lights, but I will say this. I knock off an automatic point for visible wires.
Actually, the wire that you see in the photo, it's just sitting there.
It's not powering the tree lights.
It's still visible.
I know.
Well, it's not part of the tree.
Well, you should move that.
I just need to store it.
I need to put it away.
Otherwise, you have yourself a pretty dope little tree here.
Okay.
And he classed it up with a dog.
He's got Stella in there making a cameo.
That's pandering.
That's making sure that, yeah.
No, no.
She just happened to be right there.
No pandering.
Yeah, I'm sure you weren't.
Hey, Stella, come here.
Sit, sit.
No, turn around.
But she's so cute.
Look at her.
Look at that face, man.
Judging by what I'm seeing on your television and the little part I can see, it looks like
you're watching The Masked Singer.
I had football on.
This was a commercial.
Yeah, this was a commercial. I had football on this was a commercial yeah this was a commercial I
had football on all night of course a lot a lot of people were accusing me of
putting fake presents under the tree and let me just say why would you do that
waste of time like this isn't Nordstrom what he took my fake presents under the
tree like oh it's so early in the year like no one has presents out yet just to
look ball and something Let me explain something.
When you have a five-year-old at home
who's excited about Christmas,
five-year-olds, all they care about is presents
and an old Santa Claus thing, right?
Mm-hmm.
I ordered a couple presents, and I wrapped them.
They are very real presents, and they're for parks.
What are they?
Tell us what they are.
He doesn't listen.
You can tell us.
They are Nerf guns.
Whoa.
Damn. One of them is, They are Nerf guns. Whoa. Damn.
One of them is, the tag says it's for me.
I got his cool plan.
When he opens his Nerf gun, I'm going to open mine at the same time,
and I'm just going to start unleashing on his ass when I get out of the box.
Did you load it up before?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's ready to fire.
It's ready to go.
It's going to be funny.
Because he wanted two so he can get in battles with them.
I passed one to his friend, and so I'm going to light them up.
It's going to be fun.
But they're Nerf guns.
I'm jealous.
It's got the big drum.
It looks kind of like a minigun.
It's tight, dude.
They're cool guns.
Will you get me a Nerf gun for Christmas?
Yes, I will.
I like how you included the Dylan Chivory Functional Strength Academy
in the photo as well.
Yeah, my whole gem
is in frame over there.
Just one kettlebell
and one foam roller.
Yeah, the kettlebell
that Dave gave me.
I didn't know
you were a foam roller guy.
Yeah, I use it for my back.
Yeah, he rolls foam, dude.
Roll foam, not coal.
I do it like every other day
for my back.
Is that in the spring line, Brett?
Decompress a little bit. You know how it works, Dave.
It's nice after
a long day, Brett. Mama, check it out.
I've done it like a million times, but I don't
know if it actually does anything for me.
You can hear and feel the cracks.
Yeah, I need to start getting better about it. I'm not very good.
Just hang off the back of it.
Back to my tree, though.
Can I ask you a question? Just in general yeah so you're you're the christmas tree guy
what are a few staples that you need in order to have a high score and what are
some immediate because you said yourself that a fake tree is a one point deduction no matter what
so what are some other deductions you have a fake tree you're starting off at a 9.0 okay and mine is fake okay other other
deductions are okay and this is personal taste but I feel like it should be it
should be shut up recognized by everybody say it I like personalized
ornaments I like ornaments that actually mean something if you go to Hobby Lobby
and you buy a bundle of just globe ornaments,
I hate your tree.
Can I ask you a question?
Can I clarify something on this?
So Sally and I are putting together our Christmas collection currently,
trying to make sure that we have got a good Christmas tree
for our first actual Christmas where we have a tree together.
Am I allowed to buy sentimental things that I didn't get from somewhere
online that are like
a tribute to something? No.
Yeah, yeah. So what we do
has to be made from China.
So I have to go back to London to get
the British one that Sally got
to commemorate our Christmas last year?
Unfortunately, you can do that, Will. So the tradition
in my family is we
buy ornaments for each other that kind of represent the year they've had.
Or just like whatever.
Like for Parks, no-brainer.
I'm getting him a dinosaur one this year.
You got to.
No-brainer.
You got to.
There also are a couple on here that we have made ourselves, which is cool.
But not one of these is like a generic ornament.
Not one of them.
Okay.
They all mean something.
Okay.
And there's also a little Christmas list that Parks wrote out a couple years ago that I rolled up and stuck that in the tree.
Oh, that's cute.
I think so, too.
That's cute.
Yeah.
So this is just an all-American tree.
I'm not showing off here.
Just an all-American.
The ornaments all mean something.
I'm a color lights fan.
That's known at this point. and I'm ashamed of it.
So no deduction based. Are you deducting points
for white lights? No, absolutely not.
That's just personal taste. I just happen to prefer
colored lights.
What about toppers?
Toppers, you can see I have a topper. It's a star.
It's a little... It's leaning a little bit.
But that's okay. Yeah, it was leaning.
That was a concern of mine.
That's okay. Give me a.1 deduction for that if you must.
Is tinsel automatic points off?
I'm not much of a tinsel guy.
But I also don't like –
If you have ribbon on your tree, hit the bricks.
Really?
Hit the bricks.
Really?
Yeah.
You don't like tasteful ribbon once in a while?
People just clutter their trees up with that mess. Some people overdo it. the bricks really yeah you don't like tasteful ribbon once in a while people's people just
clutter their trees up with that mess some people overdo it yeah people overdo it what's the big you
can do some tasteful ribbon what's the big ornament at the very bottom that looks like heavy
it's like almost the top of the present yeah so all the ones on the bottom are the ones at
parks home because he's uh much shorter than i am and that one i believe is a snowman and i believe it's a couple snowmen next to each other and i think there's something
i i forgot i would have to get back low key looks like truck nuts from this view yeah i think that
would be tight it does kind of look like that we're putting up our tree either on thanksgiving
or the day after thanksgiving and i'm really nervous for you to rate my tree. Okay. Well, I'm going to be honest.
You know that.
He already came at my tree, unfortunately.
Gross.
I have a lot of generic balls in my tree.
You're a young man.
I don't have any cool, like—
I know.
Look, it's not an overnight thing.
You have to acquire them over time.
The fact that you even put up a tree, Brad, at your age, living alone,
when you don't necessarily have to, I'm giving you all the props in the world.
Really?
This year is going to be my first Christmas tree in somewhere that I live in Austin.
Wow.
So I have no ground to stand on.
I'm complete trash when it comes to having a Christmas tree down here.
Well, thank you.
I like putting it up.
Oh, man, a lot of these are super meaningful.
This is good stuff.
Shut up.
I'm just going to go to Kohl's and get a bunch of ornaments.
That's what I did.
Just use Kohl's cash on it.
Just don't show them to Dylan.
I'm going to use Randy's discount.
That's all Randy's getting for at this point.
Do you see the tree that ruined Christmas that Dylan gave a 2.62?
Yeah, that one.
Is that the skinny one?
That put me in a bad mood.
So that was a real tree, though?
Well, it's a fake tree.
The skinny tree's got to go.
It was a real submission.
Bulb lights, really skinny, and they just threw a Santa hat on top.
I'm not spending Christmas at this house.
I will leave.
I don't know about the toppers on any of these.
There's just like...
Those are fake presents, if you look at the wrapping.
Yeah, that tree stinks.
I'm putting your tree up on the Grom right now.
Are you?
Yeah, I'm going to ask people to rate it.
Dude, what?
People are going to be mean on purpose.
No, we're going to space them out, Brett.
People aren't going to space them out.
We're not going to be real about it.
We should do a post where we put everybody's tree in one.
You don't have faith in the backers that they can rate your Christmas tree?
Why can you do it without anyone questioning your?
I am fair.
I'm neutral.
They are just going to roast me just for the sake of it.
They're going to make fun of stuff going on in the background, the house.
That is the biggest fear.
Probably call Stella ugly.
Shit like that.
People posting.
If you post anything from your house, they'll find something. If you post that Stella's ugly, you're getting blocked. Shit like that. People posting. If you post anything from your house. If you post.
They'll find something.
If you post that Stella's ugly, you're getting blocked.
Yeah.
Fair.
Unless it takes us under 10.2K.
At that point, we're not going to block anything. They're going to go with your crown molding or something.
Do you have cool windows?
I'd like to.
Someone called me out for having closed captioning on my TV.
That is funny.
You do.
Yeah.
I love it. I love it.
I love it.
Wait, even during games?
During everything.
It's always on.
Oh, that's during a sporting event.
I see.
I can't turn.
The only thing I have
closed captioning on for sports
is on CBS Sports' app on PS4,
and I cannot turn
the closed captioning off on it,
and it drives me insane
to the point where
I don't even watch that anymore.
It's become like a game with me.
I pick out, like,
all the grammatical errors in it and shit, which are a ton point where I don't even watch that anymore. It's become like a game with me. I pick out all the grammatical errors
in it and shit. Counting fucking syllables
and shit, nerd.
They're doing the best they can.
Yeah, they're trying.
Alright, well I'm going to put up my tree
this week and you're going to get a
tweet your way from At Will to Free.
You guys are guaranteed to get a fair score.
Yeah, I'm sure.
If you give me a 7.7 I know that that's not going to be fair.
We'll see what you're bringing.
Can we talk about poncho real quick?
Talk about it.
I am about it.
Be about it.
Don't just talk about it.
Be about it like Dave.
That's a fuego hat.
That's torch.
That is torch.
Pull back the curtain.
I was a little worried that this hat, while it is very dope,
would not fit my tiny little head.
It does.
Well, there's concern sometimes with rope hats.
You have to be the rope hat guy that can really pull it off.
Dylan's notorious for being a rope hat guy.
He's got a big head, though.
Are we calling that an agave plant?
What is that?
Yeah, that's agave, dude.
Great logo.
Yeah.
Fantastic.
It's a great hat.
We're big fans of Poncho.
If you don't know what Poncho is, that means you just don't follow us enough.
Because we've been posting photos of Flounder just absolutely dripping.
By the way, I don't think you need to point out that my head is big, but continue with the read.
You have a big head.
It's Ropat Friendly.
Get on with the read.
Are you 7 and 4 fifths or something?
7, 8, somewhere like that.
See, that's a giant dome.
Yeah, I get it.
It just doesn't, it's not in the, is it in the copy?
It is. Is it in the copy? Is it in the copy?
It says, go crazy with copy.
So what did I do?
I went loco on them.
You have a big cabeza.
Okay.
Cabeza mas grande.
Yeah, let's move on.
We've gotten a bunch of stuff from these guys.
Fishing shirts.
We got some t-shirts just sitting out there.
It was like Christmas morning walking into the studio today.
We just got t-shirts and hats just spread out everywhere.
These things are made for the life outdoors, not just fishing.
They've got an incredible fit, super comfortable.
We've got it all.
I've got, like, this nice minty shirt that I can't wait.
I can't wait for spring to spring.
Don't say it.
That's the future.
So I can rock this thing.
Dylan rocks his at the ranch.
You can rock this at a patio bar, though, if you want.
I love mine.
Oh, this plays.
They play everywhere.
Clay rocks it literally everywhere to the birth of his first child.
They basically sponsored the birth of his child.
Are you currently taking sponsorship opportunities, Dave?
We're fielding offers.
Okay.
Okay.
Well, all you have to do is go to ponchooutdoors.com and use promo code CIRCLINGBACKGIFT.
That's CIRCLINGBACKGIFT. That's CIRCLINGBACKGIFT
at checkout to get a free hat or t-shirt when you order an outdoor shirt. You pick any hat
or t-shirt that you want, add it to your cart, then use the promo code at checkout for the
additional item to be free. That is very important.
Correct.
It doesn't just automatically give you a hat or a t-shirt. You've got to add both to your
cart, put the promo code in, and it'll knock the price off.
Exactly.
It's amazing stuff.
It's a solid value.
Very solid.
Free?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's ponchooutdoors.com and code CIRCLINGBACKGIFT at checkout to get a free hat or t-shirt with your order.
This guy probably wears poncho, if I'm being honest.
Talking about the dude that saved a puppy from an alligator this week.
Can we just assume that it's Florida?
Oh, the cigar man?
It was confirmed Florida.
It has to be Florida.
Okay.
If it was anywhere else but Florida, I would have been absolutely floored.
So this went viral on, I guess, yesterday.
Saw it on the Twitter.
Yesterday from Juan Vidal.
He said, this guy saved a puppy from getting eaten by an alligator and never dropped his cigar.
A true legend.
And what we have here is probably, can you guess people's ages?
Yes, this man is 62 years old.
He's older than 62.
I was going to say 66.
I was going to say 72, honestly.
62, all right, trust me.
He is taking a baby alligator out of the water that has its mouth completely clamped onto this puppy.
King Charles pup.
Is it a King Charles?
Oh, yeah, it is.
And he's just wrestling it in the water with a cigar in his mouth,
and at no point does a cigar fall out of his mouth.
Now, to be fair, it is a baby alligator.
Yes.
This story would have ended much, much differently had this been a regular size
or even just like a slightly bigger size alligator.
This would have been very, very sad.
How big are we talking here?
It didn't look like a baby.
It looked kind of like a child alligator.
Yeah, okay, that's fair.
It was small, but not tiny.
Something's weird about child alligator.
Well, you know what's weird about it is that they just stopped growing.
That's right.
What if it was one that was like 10 million years old?
Wow.
What if we're just living on a 10 million year old alligator right now?
That's how big it got.
Dude, we're on the back of a turtle.
That's kind of what the Native Americans believe, yeah.
Turtle thing.
I don't know.
Okay.
What?
Huh?
Huh?
Yeah.
Dylan, can you clarify?
Back check that.
I don't think that's a thing.
The back of the turtle thing.
The turtle thing is a thing.
I don't know what culture it is.
I think it's an era.
Dude, no one thinks that. The turtle thing is a thing. I don't know what culture it is. I think it's an ear recording.
When someone sent me this in a group text just with no text available, no context,
it was just like, I thought this was going to end very badly.
And I was like, why would you send this?
And it does not.
It's fun.
Apparently the puppy is okay.
Had a puncture to the stomach.
I wonder if this guy's hands got cut off.
You have to think so, right?
I don't know, man.
You know when you hear certain animals have razor sharp teeth?
Are they really razor sharp?
No. I'm not. That's very
sharp. You just cut your gums
all up. They're probably sharp and they will cut you
but razor sharp? Razor's not
playing. I think sharks have serrated
teeth, right? They're like a steak knife? Yeah. grind them like they do like the jaw thing like this so they can
shark out here what's up with florida just be just having like just scary creatures everywhere man
they got the the python problem there too or maybe it's a boa constrictor i'm not sure one
of those snakes that squeezes you big snake either way um just, man, the gators.
Yikes.
I don't know what I would do if I had a puppy that started getting eaten by an alligator.
You would do the same thing. I would assume that the dad strength fight or flight thing would just come into play at this point.
Your dad instinct will kick in for sure.
I don't know how this puppy escaped without any major injuries.
That's what I don't get.
This puppy should have three legs.
It was probably just dragging it off to, you know, kill it.
Death roll it.
When the guy stepped in.
It ran off like no big deal.
Yeah.
Walked off the field.
Everyone clapped.
He was underwater when he got that thing out, too.
You have to think a cigar went out.
I want to know how this went down.
Were they out there just hanging out, having a mimosa?
He was probably on his patio having a nice cigar, dog running around playing.
For whatever reason, let him play by a pond.
That's my issue.
If you're in Florida, just don't let your dog near any water.
He saw what happened and just ran up instinctually and did what he had to do.
I could see this guy being a dog breeder,
just being like, you're not taking this $2,000 away from me.
Fuck that.
Yeah, I don't know.
You know at Disney World a little kid got eaten by a gator?
At Disney World.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
Have you seen how Hook ends?
Have you seen how the movie Hook ends?
Hook.
Okay.
Were you thinking of the Blues Traveler?
Where it just falls on him?
Yeah.
He got eaten by an alligator.
So was it alive or not?
That never made sense to me.
I was like, how did he get eaten by a clock?
I don't know.
It just happened to fall on him.
Terrible timing.
Disney World get sued for that?
Probably.
Did he kill Eden or lost a leg?
No, he's no longer with us.
It's very, very sad and probably one of the worst things you could ever witness.
Oh, my gosh.
Did you think that he just got eaten and, like, came out the other side?
No.
He just Jim Carrey'd.
He Ace Ventura'd.
Shark attack, like, got an arm ripped off, like, ate the arm.
I don't know.
How old was the kid?
Two.
Fucking fuck.
Although,
he wasn't experiencing Disney World
anyway. He doesn't know what's going on.
Right? The kid lost his
life, Brett.
You're right.
What's going on?
RIP to that child.
How'd your trip go?
The kid wasn't –
Little Timmy died.
But, you know, he was so young, he didn't know what was going on.
Yeah, whatever.
No big deal.
For all he knows, he was at, like, Walmart or something.
Sheesh.
Luckily, he hadn't lived a life that was worth dying for.
I've got friends who bring their dogs duck hunting,
and they're in the water.
And even if they're in Texas, it still makes me a little nervous.
Like there's going to be something in that water.
Like our friend Tyler knew.
He brings Barb.
It could be blood in the water.
It could be blood in the water.
I was just doing Dave Matthews references.
Isn't that a thing?
Don't drink the water. Don't drink the water.
Don't drink the waters.
Because there's blood in it, right?
And now a song goes?
I think that in the bridge, it's like, don't drink the water.
Gators are scary, man.
Blood in the water.
Yeah.
They're dinosaurs.
They're like all stealthy with the way they move through the water, you know?
And they just come out and pop you.
And get you.
They're tight.
They'll get you.
Are they? It's the official mascot of Wilmots. Can you outrun one They'll get you. They're tight. They'll get you. They're tight.
It's the official mascot of Wilmonds.
Can you outrun one on land?
Yeah.
I don't know.
You've got to zigzag.
Right.
Their legs are very short.
Yeah.
You've got to zigzag.
They can move quickly just straight away.
Like, that Cavalier King Charles puppy is not getting away from that alligator.
Okay.
Let's put it that way.
Ooh, I would like to see in a controlled environment
them race.
Because, like,
puppies can get, dude.
Dude, there are some
little tiny dogs
in our apartment
that absolutely chop.
Yeah.
They just, like,
hover along the ground.
It's crazy.
I love it.
Hover dogs?
Yeah.
The future?
Yeah.
That's just,
that's like a different,
yeah, it's a different version.
They use gravity to hover.
Can you use gravity to hover?
I feel like gravity stops you from hovering.
It's the premise of a lot of time travel.
I've looked into it.
I don't understand time travel.
Can you explain it?
It's because you can't do it.
You can never fully understand it until you've traveled.
Literally everybody.
Are you ever in public and you just see people and you're like, that's an alien?
I had an experience the other day.
No.
I was waiting to get a sandwich at Swedish Hill downtown,
and I just had this family in front of me, and I was like,
these are Third Rock from the Sun people.
These people, they weren't born here.
They are here now trying to act like a normal family.
They just act different.
There's some weird, socially awkward people out there. Lil Wayne. Whole families of them. they are here now trying to act like a normal family they just act different there's just
there's some weird
socially awkward people
out there
Lil Wayne
whole families of him
he's not from the earth
he's a Martian
true
wasn't he supposed to die
like 10 years ago
during that documentary
because he was drinking
so much codeine
he had an issue
I feel like he was
on a plane
he was just trying
to kill a cough.
Kill a cardio.
Kill a cardio.
Kill a cardio.
I don't really have much else other than I'm really,
I'm very happy that this puppy escaped
with just some minor cuts and scrapes.
Sneaky shout out to the person who had the presence of mind
to pull out their phone and record this event.
Yeah, why don't you help Grandpa out?
Right?
No, he's good, dude.
Right?
Once Grandpa hops in the water, it's over.
This ain't the first time Grandpa's done this.
They should know that there's gators in that.
Right.
So, like, don't let your kids...
Don't let your puppy play by the killer pond.
Don't let your kids or pets play near the pond.
Fair.
Don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys, either.
Mm-hmm. Man. What? I'm just watching the video again i know it's great if you're if you ever wonder what we're talking about just know that it's on the tl right now this was so vi that like
it has 12 million views and it's also been quote tweeted on at circling back pod uh
there has been clamoring for us to maybe make a listener guide on
Instagram once in a while. We might do that in the future
but for right now it's on the ground.
You're going to be seeing this for the next two weeks.
I kind of wish we'd waited until like three weeks from now
to bring this story up. I know we need to start tabling
the good things. We're too quick.
Now this is all we do
we're like not late at all.
The ideal thing is for something to happen Wednesday afternoon
and then not be able to talk about it until Monday.
It's just like a built-in governor for us.
Can we talk about Headspace real quick?
New sponsor alert.
Dylan, you do it.
New sponsor.
New sponsor alert.
Headspace is an app that I've used numerous times in my life.
I have it downloaded on my phone.
Same.
And it got me through some maybe anxious nights during quarantine.
Not going to lie.
Dude, I've been talking about Headspace for a minute now.
I love Headspace.
I mean, Dylan, life can be stressful under normal circumstances,
but 2020 has challenged even the most difficult times of life.
You need stress relief that goes beyond just quick fixes,
and that, my friends, is Headspace.
If you're not familiar, Headspace is your daily dose of mindfulness
in the form of guided meditations and an easy-to-use app.
Headspace is one of the only meditation apps advancing the fields of mindfulness and meditation
through clinically validated research.
So whatever the situation, Headspace really can help you feel better.
If you're overwhelmed, Headspace has a three-minute SOS meditation for you.
Need some help falling asleep?
Man, why didn't I cue this up last night?
I came into the studio today complaining about how badly I slept last night.
Dumb, dumb.
Headspace has wind-down sessions that members swear by.
And for parents, Headspace even has morning meditations you can do with your kids.
You and Park's trying to get a meditation off?
Maybe.
Headspace's approach to mindfulness can reduce stress, improve sleep, boost focus, and increase your overall sense of well-being.
Like I said, I've used this before.
I love this dude's voice.
I love it.
He's just a kind British dude just telling you that everything's going to be all right.
It's beautiful.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
Do they have different voices you can choose?
Yes.
Okay.
Headspace is backed by over 25 published studies on its benefits.
It has 600,000 five-star reviews and over 60 million downloads.
If we did that for like an episode of Circling Back,
you could consider us to be pretty successful.
Dude, meditation is sick.
And if you're one of those people who's never tried it
and you just think it's like a weird thing,
it's not.
It takes like three,
like the first few lessons are like three minutes.
That's all it takes.
And it's extremely helpful.
They have a beginner's guide even.
You can go in and it'll guide you through what you need to understand in order to get the most out of it.
I had never done it before until downloading Headspace.
It was my first experience with it, and it's awesome.
We like Headspace so much that I'm pretty sure that on an episode like a year ago, we just talked about it.
We did.
We just talked about getting meditations off.
We did.
Meditation.
Time to breathing.
Yeah, that's good.
I thought you were going to say, like, stop stressing.
But, yeah, that worked out better than what I had.
You deserve to feel happier, and Headspace's meditation made simple.
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That's headspace.com slash circling for a free one-month trial
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Head to headspace.com
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Good logo, too. Oh, I mean, everything
they do is aesthetically pleasing and calming.
I'm just looking at that, and I'm basically
meditating. I just like opening the app and just seeing the little
animations they have in there. They're really good.
They're very chill.
So you guys see that
you can now grow your own human steaks.
They have a meal kit for it.
You guys want to do that?
I'm sorry, what?
What exactly is a human steak, Will?
You're a human steak.
Yeah, you kind of are a human steak.
So I didn't know.
I just saw this on Fox News.
You're a big Fox News guy.
Is that what you had on your TV in your Christmas trip?
Oh, come on, man.
We're not doing this.
It says, grow your own human steaks meal kit is not technically cannibalism, makers say.
It's weird that the makers of this meal kit would say that it's not cannibalism.
Because now it's all you think about.
Because that's illegal.
Eating humans is illegal?
Eating humans, yes.
Yeah.
Someone should tell alligators that.
Right.
At Disney World.
I'm so confused by this.
Why would anybody want to try this? This is a DIY meal kit for growing steaks made from human cells that was recently nominated
for a Designer of the Year award by the London-based Design Museum.
Named the Ouroboros.
I don't even know how to say that.
Do you guys care if I just botch that?
Ouroboros.
Ouroboros steak after the circular symbol of a snake eating itself tail first.
That's weird.
It's just eating its own ass.
The hypothetical kit would come with everything one needs to use their own cells to grow miniature
human meat steaks.
Okay.
If part of your company line is like, we swear this isn't cannibalism, maybe you're not doing
something that's too appealing to people.
If you have to tell your advertisers, like, okay, just to be clear,
we're not promoting that you eat other humans.
You're just eating yourself.
I don't understand why this is a thing,
why people are trying to do this.
Why not recreate, like, bovine cells?
I think they're doing that, too.
But that's like lab meat.
We've talked about lab meat. We've talked about growing meat
in labs before.
But not human.
But never from the cells
from your actual body.
Is there some like
scientific benefit for this?
Like they're able to maybe regrow.
Is it like organs?
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.
That's probably where this stemmed from.
No pun intended.
Nice.
No pun intended.
Randy loves that.
It says the project
was made as a critique of the lab-grown meat industry
which the designers told Dizine
Magazine is not actually as animal
friendly as one might expect. Lab-grown meat relies
on a fetal bovine serum for animal
cell cultures
though some companies have claimed
to have found alternatives.
I'm still not eating will meat.
Nah, I'm not trying to eat myself.
Would you do a meat exchange?
Say I made my meat.
Say ButcherBox isn't just sending fire meat our way every day anymore.
And you and I get this meal kit.
Are you going to do a meat swap with me?
Just trade meats to see who tastes better?
Yeah.
I should do a meat spin.
Oh, we could do a wheel and see what meat you get.
Right.
Yeah, I'm never going to try human meat trading in a lab.
Okay, Mr. Closed-Minded.
It's something I'm never going to do.
I'm good.
What if it's like that place,
what if it's like the bite of meat at Uchi?
I'm a hot rock.
I'll say this.
I don't want anybody else.
When I think about you, I eat myself.
When I think about you.
Why would you eat yourself?
That's just how hot you are.
How confused would you be if like your dad gave you like a,
he opened up his refrigerator at home and he just had a bunch of like Don meat in there.
I'm going to throw me on the grill.
Yep.
I'm going to go through.
I'm smoking me. Smoking these
me's. I feel like Dylan could make
a killing just selling tube steak.
Okay.
Is tube steak an actual thing? No one thinks.
No one like gets more humor out of
tube steaks than Dylan. No.
I love a good tube steak joke. My first day at Grand X
Dave just threw me in the
conference room with him at one side of the table, me on the other.
And then Dylan came in to say what up.
And I guarantee you made a tube steak joke like day one.
Hey, if you're not doing anything for lunch later, you want to go get some tube steak?
I'm looking at their website.
Have you signed up?
This is, I don't understand.
Are you trying to cop or what?
Growing yourself ensures that you and your loved ones always know the origin of your food,
how it has been raised, and that its sales were acquired ethically and consensually.
Weren't people doing that to make bread, too?
Are we sure this is real?
This is real.
This was Fox News?
Fox, I mean.
Oh, debatable.
You never know, David.
Okay.
The website's certainly real.
I mean, we could talk about the other meat news on our rundown.
Greg Norman.
Shark meat?
Shark meat.
What is he doing?
He knows exactly what he's doing.
Dave, I'm going to let you explain what's going on here.
Why?
Because you're the one who told us to add it to the rundown.
I said, just look at this.
Greg Norman.
The shark.
A.k.a. the shark.
Actually, you know that course I played on the beach in Mexico?
That was a Greg Norman course.
Was it really?
He's in phenomenal shape, by the way.
How old do you think he is?
64.
69.
65. You went over. Price is? 64. 69. 65.
You went over.
Price is right rules.
Hashtag Chad.
Nice guess, though.
So, yeah, he posted it on his Instagram.
It was just like a good photo of him and his dog on the beach, which is cool.
And that's where it ends.
Unless you look closer.
And then you will notice that he is about 80% torqued.
Yes.
And it's honestly, you don't even have to look closer.
It's obvious.
We'll give him that chub.
I mean, I like being on the beach with my dog, too.
I don't know if it's ever going to torp me, but...
Good for him.
Have to think there is a scantily clad
young lady that he saw.
His tea is just so
just out of here.
Maybe just H for life.
I mean he's
I would be if I was Greg Norman
to be honest.
He's a wine
a wine millionaire.
A jacked
senior citizen
with a huge piece.
Aussie.
And a winery.
Yeah.
It's not a bad life.
And a bunch of golf courses. Yeah. Yeah. It sounds like a pretty decent thing to be a part piece. Aussie. And a winery. Yeah, it's not a bad life. And a bunch of golf courses.
Yeah, a bunch of golf courses.
Yeah, it sounds like a pretty decent thing to be a part of, yeah.
I probably would walk around with a boner all the time, too.
Wake up torqued, you know?
He just stays hard.
But he's just John Hamming here so hard.
Because you can see John Ham's, like, piece pretty much everywhere he goes.
This is more, this is like, this is like planned.
This is like, hey, we're going to use this one because it is so obvious that I am having a good time.
Someone just commented, great photo, five exclamation points.
Awesome, five exclamation points.
No underwear, five exclamation points.
Well, that's not, okay, he's on the beach.
I mean, no one's wearing underwear at the beach, right?
Someone said, love the middle leg, mate.
He eats a small one.
Man, I hope I look like that when I'm his age, man.
He's in great shape.
He's unbelievable.
Middle leg.
He deserves all the praise he's getting for this photo.
Oh, he limited the comments on the post.
Nice kickstand, mate.
Somebody said shark, dog, and python.
But he didn't limit the comments before Derek Fandle said
eggplant emoji in the shorts emoji.
Is that a cap wedge?
A cap wedge?
Okay.
I don't think I get it.
I don't know if I get it.
Like a mushroom cap.
Yeah, that's too far.
Who was this?
Ryan Fandul?
His name was Derek.
Oh.
Thank you, Derek.
Somebody said, Greg, the lady's going to DM you.
There's a horse walking that dog.
This was so egregious that the New York Post did an entire story about it.
Good for Greg.
That's where I saw it.
More like New York Most.
Sorry.
I don't know what I'm doing.
Jeez.
Dylan, the reviews of your tree are coming in.
Oh, yeah?
What are they saying?
Someone said 4.20, which I don't know why they put the zero on there.
4.20.
Someone said 6.20, which I don't know why they put the zero on there. 4.20. Someone said 6.9.
Nice.
Actually, I don't know if this person's talking about your tree or if they're talking about
Greg Norman's photo, but it says 7.5 leans a little bit to the left.
Oh.
Hey.
Come on.
The topper is leaning.
The tree is perfectly upright.
But thanks for weighing in, jerk.
perfectly upright.
But thanks for weighing in.
Jerk.
Why do I like
Australian golfers
more than like any
golfers from any
other country besides
the United States?
Is it because they're
non-threatening?
It's like we don't
have to face them
in the Ryder Cup.
We only have to worry
about President's Cup
and stuff which no
one really cares
about anyway.
Probably, yeah.
Well, and the Aussies
are just, they just
put off a vibe.
Somebody you want
to just chill with.
Also true.
Also true.
Unless it's the legs on Greg Norman, not even talking about the middle leg,
like his regular legs.
He's vascular.
He's very, very stacked.
I feel like Barrett's going to turn into him at some point.
Barrett's going to have to put on some mass, though.
He's lean.
Yeah, he's too lean.
One time I was talking to Barrett about just his workout habits and
going to the gym, and I was like, yeah, I'm just
trying to get in better shape. He goes, no,
not me. I'm where I'm at. I'm where I want to be.
I just want to maintain. Like, man, imagine
being like... He's told me that, too. Imagine
having a body that you've always
just wanted. Does he just tell this to everybody to
flex on people? Well, he
talked about plateauing, and he's like,
yeah, I've kind of realized that i'm not
gonna i'm not gonna gain anymore without like um significantly changing my lifestyle so he's like
i'm just gonna maintain this that's a great i mean he's shredded so and that is true because like a
guy if he's got a his frame isn't made to stack mass so for him to do that he would have to like
eat you know just probably wouldn't worth it. Fuck it. He looks good.
Jack is not in anymore.
No.
I mean, I had to change my lifestyle to lose a little weight, and I didn't make any major
changes, but I made enough changes, and I'm done making changes.
I don't want to, like, I don't want to do that shit.
You showed me a photo the other day of some dude that was just jacked to the tits, and
you were like, why would you ever want to be this big?
My Explore page, I get served a bunch of fitness stuff, and it's just guys that are like bodybuilders.
Flex, dude.
And I'm like, why would anyone want to be 5'10", 285 of just pure muscle?
Yeah.
I don't get it.
Makes no sense to me.
You look absolutely ridiculous.
I guess if I was like 5'9", or 5'10", I would want to do that too.
Shouts for the short kings out there.
We don't give them enough love on this podcast apparently
We're dedicating the rest of this episode
To anyone under the height of 5'9
I don't get why anyone would want to look like that
But tweet your own
If it makes you happy, go do your thing
It's just weird to me
So back to this middle leg
You gotta think Greg Olson is... Back to this man's
penis. Finally a
trademark infringement here.
He's third leg Greg, according to the Miami
Sixth Floor Crew. Who? Greg Olson?
Third leg Greg?
You never heard that song? Big penis?
Oh.
You've never heard that rap?
It's from his days at the U? Yeah.
They recorded a rap song together.
I'm surprised you haven't heard this. It's quite aggressive. I think I remember the story, but I've never heard that rap? It's from his days at the U? Yeah. They recorded a rap song together. I'm surprised you haven't heard this.
It's quite aggressive.
I think I remember the story, but I've never seen or heard the song.
They released the song, correct?
Yes.
Okay, I was going to say.
It's in the U, the documentary.
I think I got it from like Kazaa or something.
That sounds about right.
I don't know if I downloaded it, but I definitely have heard the song.
I mean, I wasn't putting it on at parties and stuff.
You didn't hand me the aux and I was just like, all right.
I love the range of the New York Post.
They can tell you about Hunter Biden's laptop and Greg Norman's dong in the same paper.
When I'm in a bad mood, sometimes I just go there just to see a story that's just really stupid.
When you see that logo, it immediately triggers like, oh, here we go.
This is going to be a wild one.
Greg Norman's innocent dog photo
has an x-rated twist like they have like nbc ditching nfl thanksgiving tradition and broadcast
reshuffle and then right next to it it just says officials warn salty drivers do not let moose lick
your car oh i i read that that's now that's some there's some information there you have to let a
moose lick your car if he wants to lick your car. Wait, what's wrong with a moose licking your car? Is he going to get stuck to it?
No, they get very comfortable around cars, and
the more cars they seek out to lick, the more likely
they are to be, you know,
struck by a vehicle. Oh, that's sad. But it also says
they're obsessed with salt. It's scary.
Because they don't get salt from very many places.
That's why they put out salt licks for hunting and stuff.
I wonder...
Interesting. I mean, how do you stop stuff. I wonder... Yeah. Interesting.
I mean, how do you stop a moose from...
Yeah, what are you going to do?
Excuse me, sir?
Put that tongue away?
Hey, get out of here.
Get the hose.
I think it's weirdly like a $25,000 fine
if you get caught feeding a moose.
Or meese.
You're absolutely correct.
This isn't just a recommendation.
Visitors found feeding or disturbing wildlife risk facing a $25,000
fine.
That's tuition. Seems aggressive.
Oh, did you see the
in New York, you are
there's a bill on the table
to pay people
for reporting parking
infringements? No yeah it's trash so if you
i'm doing that you get commish if you report people parking like dickheads dirty money i'm in
let's do it 25 by the way i think i kind of parked bad today i need to go fix it
what's your problem dude i don't know wouldn't it wasn't all me there are some dudes that drive
like 350s in our parking lot that just park like dickheads up top.
Yeah, up top's a different ballgame.
Like sometimes you can just pretty much get like blocked in.
Yeah.
Wild.
You think Joe Exotic had like a cage where there was just like a moose and like a Mitsubishi?
Mm-hmm.
Moose was just like back there.
You could go back there and watch it lick the car.
Mm-hmm.
Tiger King.
I'm trying to think of a pun, but I don't have one.
A moose, a Mo. Amuse-abishi.
Okay.
Okay.
Is it time to go?
Dylan's gone silent.
No, no.
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Brett, hit us with that breaking news, playboy.
Thank you, Will.
As a matter of fact, I do.
I'm just saying that because that's the thing.
You didn't ask, though.
Dylan, a little choose-your-adventure here.
Would you like to go the Mafia,
an Eastern Asian country that Dave refers to as Japan,
turkeys, or cartoon hogs?
Turkeys, for sure.
All right.
According to the Los Angeles Times, which is on par with the New York Post, I believe, in journalistic quality,
big turkeys are out this year.
More guys are in.
I could have told you that.
Farmers have a problem.
Much like big arms.
I actually saw a little local news story about this as well.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
People aren't buying big turkeys, which makes sense because there's smaller
gatherings this year.
So the little turkeys are all slaughtered.
They're all gone.
And the big turkeys are now being sold for parts.
So they're also slaughtered?
Yeah.
Everybody's getting slaughtered still.
Okay. They're still going getting slaughtered still. Okay.
They're still going to die, Dave.
Yeah.
But farmers were like, man, these guys are too big,
so we're just going to have to cut you in half.
What does a little turkey sound like?
Cabba, cabba, cabba, cabba.
You know, turkeys can – if you don't kill a turkey, you know it can grow forever?
That's right.
In a vacuum.
Mm-hmm.
Wow.
In a Dyson.
Unfortunately,ers are
They have to improvise
And so you just
You're just buying half turkeys
All over the place this year
So that's all I got
Yeah that's
Okay
Yeah
They're just getting
Spatchcocked and sold for parts
Beer can shoved up their butt
Something like that
Will
You're a fan of
Cartoon Hogs right Like Porky the Pig Shark Randy did you yell me out here beer can shoved up their butt. Something like that. Will, you're a fan of cartoon hogs, right?
Like Porky the Pig?
Shark.
Yeah.
Randy, could you help me out here?
Did Porky do something bad?
Pumbaa?
SpongeBob.
Okay.
SquarePants.
Verified Twitter account put this tweet up last night
and say, with the quote,
the look on their faces says it all.
The verified Twitter account.
Wow.
So in cartoon hog news, Patrick is hung like Greg Norman.
All right.
That's big.
I mean, I've never watched this program, unfortunately.
You've never watched SpongeBob?
I haven't either.
No.
Man, I haven't either, but I love the memes.
It's like the most memed show of all time.
I have no context for them, but I know that what they're doing is quality.
Big time question here.
Is it a kid's show? Yes.
But I think that
I was like the last year.
That's not a crazy question. Family Guy is not
a kid's show, but it is a cartoon.
None of you guys have watched Spongebob.
I think I was like the last
generation. I'm separating
me from you guys. You guys are a little older than me.
A couple years. But I think I was the last one to not watch it you know what I mean and then
everyone younger than me started watching it yeah I was gonna say the same about me but I guess it
goes on to you my squad did not watch but we never watched it really so no what's I wonder the
the cutoff's like 1990 or so like did you? Yeah. Okay. That's why I'm like surprised. Like Hey Arnold and all the like Rocket Power and shit.
I watched Rocket Power, but I always felt like a little, I felt like I was aged out
of Rocket Power a little bit.
Damn.
Well, this meme didn't hit as hard then.
I'm sorry.
No, it's still.
Like we said, we're here for the memes.
Okay.
We just didn't watch the show.
I like the memes.
Oh, the memes are great.
Okay.
Okay.
There's like
that guy sitting at the table eating a sandwich like uh anyway dave japan you know you know them
yeah um well they have a the pandemic and the um smaller than normal um acorn crop this year is leading to bear problems. And so the bears are intruding onto human
habitats, looking for more food because there's less activity from humans, restaurants and stuff
like that. They are going into farms instead of like picking out of the trash and shit.
So therefore, there's been deaths, there's been broken legs, there's been there's been deaths there's been broken legs there's
been bear attacks there's been like they're eating hundreds of acres of crops at a time
so uh the japan is making robot wolves randy
what in the world um what in the world sorry no? No. I'm out. These robot wolves that we can put on our Twitter emit a 90 decibel roar and charge at bears.
Japan made this?
Yes.
I got to say, this looks like something me and my buddies would make.
Yes.
I thought those were toilet paper rolls underneath it and not just like.
Yeah, it kind of looks like shit.
This is.
It's not so much a robot, right?
I mean, is it move itself?
Or is it...
Unclear.
Unclear.
It's more of a scarecrow.
Right, that's kind of what I was thinking.
Scarewolf.
Yeah, if this thing was sprinting at me, I would be scared shit...
I'd be more scared of this if it was sprinting at me, like a bionic wolf, than I would an actual wolf sprinting at me.
They just didn't have to make it look so scary.
Yikes.
I do like that they're using robot wolves.
That's a pro.
It sounds like they're not going to open it up and kill the bears, which is cool because I'm pro bear.
Sure.
kill the bears, which is cool because I'm pro-bear.
Sure.
But...
It's a wolf with a cat's face.
Like a feral cat face.
It's a true...
The sirens, like the tornado sirens
under its belly, like the undercarriage
siren, there's just a lot.
And I feel like they didn't have to...
I don't know. That tail's a little unrealistic as well. It's just a lot and i feel like they didn't have to i don't know that
tail's a little unrealistic as well oh you mean the uh it's like a solar panel the the garmin
coming out of its ass uh the entrepreneur says a gopro the guy who who is making these in his
garage has sold about 70 wolves so far good Good for him. Can we buy one?
Potentially.
Does that come with like a sassy setting?
Imagine a nine-year-old.
That's more of an owl.
What was that?
Oh, Dave was talking about barn owls on the course on Friday.
Apparently they're scary shit.
Bar owls?
Barn.
Oh.
Call me a bar owl.
You know what I mean?
I don't know.
I don't even know. I'd love to go to a bar. You know the mafia mean? I don't know. I don't even know.
I'd love to go to a bar.
Is it mafia time?
Yeah, you know the mafia, Dylan?
I've heard of the mafia.
You know the mafia, dude?
Organized crime.
Fifteen members and associates of the Philadelphia Mafia
indicted on federal racketeering charges.
Racketeering, eh?
Yeah, racketeering.
The various crimes include racketeering conspiracy.
Conspiracy. We booked them, see? Illegal racketeering. Now, the various crimes include racketeering conspiracy.
Conspiracy.
We booked them, see?
Illegal gambling.
Yeah.
Loan sharking.
Extortion.
And drug trafficking.
Now, the point of this story is, do you guys want to hear the names?
Yes.
Very much.
Steven Mazzone, a.k.a. Stevie.
Dominic Randy, a.k.a. Dom, a.k.a. Mr. Hopkins, a.k.a. Mr. Brown, a.k.a. Dom 14.
Dom 14 is the one.
It's the one, yeah.
You have to do that one.
Joey Servito, a.k.a. Joey Electric.
Yeah, now we're talking.
Joey Electric. How did he get that name?
He's age 60.
I would assume he's an electrician on the side.
Oh, that's his fake company.
Yeah, yeah.
True, it's his right to do that.
Salvatore Mazzone, a.k.a. Sonny, a.k.a. Louie.
Joey Malone.
Weirdly, two names that we considered.
Well, how about this one?
Louie Beretta, a.k.a. Louie Sheep.
Victor DeLuca, a.k.a.
Louie Beretta.
Was that his real name or a fake name?
Louis Beretta, a.k.a. Louie Sheep.
You don't even need a cool name. Like, that is a cool name. Victor DeLta, a.k.a. Louis Sheep. You don't even need a cool name.
That is a cool name.
Victor DeLuca, a.k.a. Big Vic.
Kenneth Arabia, a.k.a. Kenny.
Danny Costelli, a.k.a. Danny, a.k.a. Cozzy, a.k.a. Butch, a.k.a. Harry.
Okay, that took a turn.
Anthony Gifolia, a.k.a. Tony Meatballs.
That's the guy.
Tony Meatball. Hey! That's the one.A. Tony Meatballs That's the guy Tony Meatball Hey
That's the one
Tony Meatball
Hey Tony Meatball
This fucking guy
Made the best meatballs
He cooked for like 30 guys
You tried Tony's fucking meatball
He slow roast these things
He cooks them all day
Fucking amazing
He puts them out on the trigger
Smokes them first
Tastes like my fucking grandma's
Just like back home
He has this human meat he got from the internet.
It came from his skin.
Last but not least, Daniel Buccheroni, a.k.a. the Big Pepperoni.
Okay.
Hey, Big Pat.
Hey, Tony Meatballs.
You guys got to try it.
Imagine just mobbing with Tony Meatballs and the Big Pat.
And Joey Electric.
Yeah, Joey Electric.
Joey Electric got wronged here by not getting put at the end of the list.
That's amazing.
Did Prince name Joey Electric?
Yeah.
Your name is Common Electra.
Your name.
These guys, you guys.
I kind of want to join a mafia just so I can like.
Just for the nickname?
Yeah, figure my nickname out.
And they're all like the youngest.
Willie Breadstick?
Willie Bikes?
The youngest is 41.
All these guys are like 56, 60, 72.
Who cares?
I love it.
Is your mafia name just like your name with E at the end and then your favorite Italian dish?
Yeah.
Davey Bolognese!
Davey Calzone?
Guy's got to try his meeples.
I know you're reaching for a glizzy joke in there somewhere, Dave,
but just drop it.
You don't need to do it.
We did that already.
Okay.
Dilly tube steak.
Hey.
Dilly tubes.
There's a dilly hot dog.
Oh.
Oh, man.
Oh.
Oh.
Guys, we got to go.
I got some news. Mike's Read of the Week is live,. Oh, man. Oh. Oh. Guys, we got to go. I got some news.
Mike's Read of the Week is live, so we need to get part of it.
Everyone needs to separate and read it.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.