Circling Back - Doing Wiesen Koks at The Bottom of The Ocean
Episode Date: May 29, 2024A wiesen koks doohickey that we need immediately, rich dudes trying to visit the Titanic again, filming Chipotle making your bowls, a "Steam Room" about entitled road bikers, a couple living in the 19...40s, This Weekend in Fun, and more. Enjoy a free one-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (15:30) Randy Won A Trip To The Bahamas via Mall Giveaway (23:40) Filming Chipotle Employees (35:00) Wiesenkoks Doohickey (40:45) Couple Living Like It's The 1940s (50:50) Bottom Of The Ocean Run It Back (1:00:30) Steam Room (1:12:58) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Mugsy: www.mugsy.com (enter your email for discount on site!) Fitbod: www.fitbod.me/steam (20% off) Tavour: Download the Tavour app, enter code "STEAM" in your profile, spend $25 worth of beer and get $10 off your crate! Naked Wines: www.nakedwines.com/steam (enter STEAM for both the code AND password to get 6 bottles of wine for JUST $39.99 with shipping included) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcasts live after a week. My name's Will DeFreeze.
To my left, David Ruff.
Have you guys noticed that someone dumped a chair?
A pee-pee covered looking chair right by where we deposit our trash.
People are just like dumping there now.
And I have nowhere to put it.
If we had a dumpster
i would toss it in there but it's just there every time i pull in and it's just a real eyesore no
i haven't seen that i'll put that you will i'm gonna put that in my next uh state of wash media
update on the newsletter it's been about eight days by my account r Yeah, it was there when I pulled out the garbage
last Monday.
So someone dumped it there and then
the trash never took it.
It's not bulk trash day.
Should we make the pledges eat it?
No, this thing is not edible.
Okay.
I looked into it.
Okay.
There are some questionable characters
that roam the streets around here they saw some
trash cans and thought why not let's just dump this peepee chair yeah i you know i don't want
a peepee chair on my person so if i see a place where i can offload it i'm gonna do it every time
they clearly did not check the schedule because it is not bulk trash pickup okay i don't think
they know the schedule well they should look at this i think it is large brush pickup in my
neighborhood when you have a peepee chair in your your possession, all you're thinking is, let's just get rid of this thing.
Is you going to get rid of that big paintbrush?
I don't have that many big paintbrushes.
Like, I was trying to find, like, a big paintbrush I could get rid of.
And I was like, I don't really think I have any that I need a truck to pick up.
It's a big brush.
Yeah, it's a big brush.
Yeah, it's a big brush.
Speaking of big brushes, what's that thing above that lip, Dylan Chivary?
What's up, dog?
Can I ask you a question and get an honest answer from you fine gentlemen?
Yeah, dude.
For sure, dude.
Yeah, dude.
Right on.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, dude.
Anyway, does this hat mustache combo, is it giving hipster?
A little bit.
But like your golf shirt really.
Yeah, but you're also wearing a baby blue row back that's making you look just frat, you know?
From here up, it's like total hipster vibe.
From here down, you know, I'm all business.
I don't know about total hipster vibe.
From like neck up, you kind of look like a dude who might own a small but blossoming notebook company.
A wood mill.
Neck up, you look like you're going to ride your bike to go get an IPA.
I spend like 300 bucks at the coffee shop a week.
God, that's a lot of money.
Yeah.
Can you imagine?
I'm going to take this information back.
From the neck up, you look like someone I'd hang out with on weekends.
Really?
Yeah.
What about neck down?
I'd play golf with you every once in a while if you played.
Okay.
But you don't do that anymore.
Okay.
All right.
I love this hat, but it is a hipster kind of a design.
No, it's good though.
It's a good hat.
I like it.
It's fun.
I like it.
Anyway, I'm happy to be here.
What's hipster about it?
Can we talk about something that Dylan's done today?
The solid panel.
Flat brim solid panel is like a hipstery.
And I think it is anyway.
It's not like a flat brim though, dude.
It's got a curve to it.
Well, I give it a curve.
It's not like your Fox Racing hat.
I don't have one of those.
All right.
What were you going to say, Will?
Dylan forgot his phone today.
Yeah, I forgot my phone.
When's the last time you forgot your phone going somewhere, Dave?
Dude, I would be so lost.
I haven't soberly forgotten my phone in years.
I do have my iMessage connected to my lappy, so I'm still in touch.
I had to disconnect that.
I was getting too many texts mid-podcast, slowing my computer down.
You're so popular.
I needed that.
I needed that...
Just that bandwidth you know i'm
not missing too much no no i mean yeah no all my texts can wait when you're doing something as
important as we do on a daily basis in the office everyone knows that everything else needs to take
a back seat we have a um speaking of hats we have a hat concept in the works right now that I'm really excited about
I'm hoping
we'll get it by tomorrow
for the stream
but I don't think
it's gonna happen
oh come on dude
send out a text
no
oh you can't
I can email
I got email and text
right here
he has email
yeah
help him pack that bitch
alright maybe I will dude
I'm worried about this hat
because I don't want to
reveal what it is yet
but I'm worried that
the design sees it gonna to be a huge hit
and people are going to love it and want it,
or people are going to be like, what is this?
I'm worried that it's going to be in such high demand
that we're not going to be able to keep up with that demand.
Supply is going to be short.
That's what I'm worried about.
It's facts.
Supply and demand.
Are you happy with the performance of Dylan's Trackhouse thus far?
I mean...
I think it's off to a good start.
We had more people attending Dylan's Trackhouse in the first episode than I think we ever
had on Happy Hour Live.
And we were doing good numbers with Happy Hour Live.
That's a good thing.
Yeah.
Let's keep that going.
Yeah.
No, yeah.
I would say that if something's doing well, we should keep doing it for sure.
going yeah no yeah i would i would say that if something's doing well we should keep doing it for sure uh i i did i did play uh two rounds yesterday in the office and i have to say that
i've yet to break par online um playing with dylan watching you is pretty intimidating no
yes it is like i you're you give me tips and it just it just adds more confusion to my life
like i i start to like taking into account things that I shouldn't be and then I'm like, wait, is Dylan thinking that I need to aim over here right now?
Should I be doing this?
And then I start to overthink everything and then suddenly I'm in like six bunkers.
If you keep getting reps in, keep getting rounds in, it's a steep ascent to being decent.
Okay.
You'll get good quick.
That's what I want to be, just decent.
You can play tomorrow on the stream.
Do decent.
You're going to play me on the stream tomorrow?
Yeah, I think we should.
Okay.
I don't want you to give me any tips, though, on the stream.
Also, I have booked Ross Bolin for a couple weeks from now.
He's going to come through.
Do you think he'll fit us in like a month from now?
He's going to fit us in.
Yeah.
His Thursdays are busy, he told me.
Oh, okay. He's rearranging some
things. He's also changing the world.
It's true. Podcast. It's true.
Mid-June. Look for W.R.
Honestly, we need to get some big guests
in for this in Austin. I think so, too.
If anyone has any guest ideas within
Austin or people coming to Austin, hit us
up because I think this is a very fun format to mix
someone in. I do, too. We had a backer reach out who sent in some screenshots of his game yeah
and he looks like he's a good player but i was like dude i've seen this before
like you're gonna play down and you're gonna get embarrassed and then it's gonna
waste everybody's time the amount of dudes that left the grand x office with their tail between
their legs looking like they had just gotten slapped across the face like it was just like what yeah like you thought you had a chance and you just got
beat by 20 strokes Ross is good uh at least he was years ago he probably hadn't kept his game
no Ross was one of the people that when I would walk into the break room and see everyone playing
I knew that I wasn't going to touch that track ball because the the heavy hitters were on there
that's right and Ross probably hasn't played in six years. Yeah.
He doesn't drink, he doesn't go to bars,
he doesn't own a Golden Tee machine.
Yeah.
He doesn't come across them too often.
Yeah.
Yeah, Ross hasn't played since Grand X.
It's been a minute.
Yeah.
It'll be fun though.
I could see him having a sneaky Golden Tee machine
out of nowhere.
Like if you heard that he got the one
from the Grand X office, would your mind be blown?
No. It would actually make me happy.
Who got it?
Creditors.
The bank.
I have no idea.
Yeah.
Ross might have.
No, Ross didn't.
I wouldn't know if he got it.
Dylan Loki fumbled the golden team machine when you got fired.
You should have just put that thing on your back and walked out.
I do wonder what happened to that thing.
Yeah.
They probably sold it, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You saw.
Yeah.
Right?
I guess.
It was an older machine
did you sign the back of it no man i put a wash sticker on this one so if it ever goes away and
no one will know okay we'll be able to walk by and be like that was ours i'm so glad we have that
thing in here yeah it's sick it's okay it's kind of ruined the vibe of the office in that we don't
listen to music as much and we don't have like TV on as much.
Music and Golden Tee can play simultaneously.
Yeah.
It's weird coming from Brett's like monitor.
Yeah.
He doesn't have like a JBL.
Oh, yeah.
Like the TV speakers.
I think my speaker's better than Brett's.
Your speakers.
And so I try to play it from my speakers when I can, but I also don't like the pressure
of being in-
I'm just-
We could invest in a BTS for this office.
We have one.
I'm kind of in my Moby era.
We have one.
Yeah.
We've been doing a lot of Moby in the office lately.
It's just kind of like empowering.
He's fine.
Outside of his lies about hooking up with Natalie Portman, like Moby's a total vibe.
That's some shit Randy would do.
Yeah.
He lied about hooking up with Natalie Portman?
Yeah, apparently.
Not Randy, Moby.
He like wrote a book and said that he like dated Natalie Portman for a long time.
And she pretty much came out and was like, yeah, we never dated.
How can you claim that so publicly if it's not true?
You're going to get called out.
Well, OK.
I bet there's something to it.
Counterpoint.
Yeah, counterpoint.
Moby dated her and she's embarrassed about it and was like, yeah, no, I have to deny this.
It's so much easier to deny something like that than to make an outrageous claim.
Oh, yeah, for sure.
Can I claim to have dated someone super famous?
And then maybe it'll get her like, no, no i don't know the fuck this guy is no because then if she
doesn't acknowledge it then it's just like oh now dylan's just claiming this and like it's out in
the world and yeah you did dm a golden bachelor contestant yeah but she didn't respond yeah but
she's now the next batch she's now the next golden bachelorette i know how to pick them i pick them. I know. Oh, yeah, you picked, I mean, no offense, you picked the hottest one.
She just didn't pick me back.
That's the only problem.
Do you think she would take herself out of the running if she knew that there was like
a hot 40-year-old dude in Austin going after her?
Who was sick on the trackball?
I don't know.
Honestly, like she might look at your thing and be like, honestly, like this is not the
worst situation.
It's a good situation.
She should not get on the trackball.
Not the worst situation. Is that how you want to be described? Yeah, thanks, get on the track not the worst situation is not
how you want to be described yeah thanks man this is not the worst option out there can you imagine
a senior citizen trying to like pound one down the middle and just your hand shatters yeah oh
yeah we don't want to see that harriet's got that arthritis oh wearing like the bowling brace man
eight you can always tell age by someone's hands man you know you know ever heard that like
a woman get a bunch of stuff done look young and then her hands just like oh i ain't looking
at her hands when you look look at her eyes i'm looking right in her eyes that's right get lost
in them sometimes randy i'm looking in our heart hey man oh yeah bear i know what you're talking
about i see that fork in the road and i don't know which way to go they're both so beautiful Hey, man. Oh, yeah. Bear. I know what you're talking about, brother.
I see that fork in the road, and I don't know which way to go.
They're both so beautiful.
Yeah, I told her, man.
She looked right at me.
I said, I ain't drinking anymore.
But I ain't drinking any less.
That's right, Dave.
Oh, yeah, brother.
This latte is good, though.
Hell yeah, brother.
Yep, she told me I had a drinking problem.
Okay.
What'd you say?
You're probably right.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Probably right. Oh, that's good. She told me I had a drinking problem Okay What'd you say? You're probably right Oh yeah
Yeah
Probably right
Oh that's good
Been spending a lot of time
Down at the saloon lately
Oh we're switching it
So this is the show we do
Yep
Shout out to all the dumb fucks
Out there
Shout out to the dumb fucks
They're punching air right now
That they laughed at that segment
Speaking of DF Nation
Might have a little something
coming up in a couple weeks.
Might be a little collab.
There will be. I don't know if I'm even supposed to announce it.
Dude, the DFs hate this.
They hate this.
They hate this. They're going to be so pissed.
Who's the DF's number one op?
They're going to be so mad when they like that podcast.
They're going to be like, that guy's like hipster
from the neck up.
There's going to be a bunch of reviews that are like oh this that's probably they're gonna be like that guy's like hipster from the neck up but there's gonna be there's gonna be like there's gonna be a bunch of reviews that are like dude i actually i actually really like dave and dylan they seem like cool down
guys but i fucking hate will well the early returns on me based on the video are not great
it's true it's true but you're playing you're playing up your your your uh your juice in the
office just it was a little bit.
It kind of went over some heads, and that's my fault.
That means I didn't deliver.
That was your juice.
That's not your sauce.
What's the difference?
Oh, Dave.
What's the difference, guys?
Is there one?
I don't know.
Come on, man.
The juice goes back.
What are you doing, Dave?
But the sauce.
Sauce is forever.
Oh, that's interesting. Yeah.
We should put that on a shirt. We should.
We should. Hey, for all the patrons
out there, we thank you for your patronage.
If you're not a patron, we implore you to go
ahead and do that because
next month we're doing two cold calls.
Cold, cold calls.
It's a cold, cold call.
Cold Call is the hottest new show on patreon uh if you go
to patreon.com circling back podcast you'll see our new show where we just call patrons and we
have conversations with them it's been an absolute blast to all the patrons who have picked up thank
you for doing that we're having so much fun yesterday was randy's game show do you know
it a game show podcast uh a lot of people chattering about yesterday's episode being
just really one of the best.
Yes.
Yeah, because you weren't on it.
I was.
I actually did the best producing job anyone's ever done.
I was making calls that no one makes.
I was repositioning cameras.
I was calling out live thumbnails.
I even shifted away from Randy before he made an inappropriate joke that would have gotten him canceled.
Dude, no one had me nailing that Seal song, by the way.
No.
I crushed that.
Yeah, you got one whole song.
Dude, I listened to it for one second.
I was like, oh, I know what this one is.
Dude, great work. The weirdest thing that I think I've ever seen is Brett getting Kokomo, but not the
Beach Boys.
Yeah.
It's weird to know the name of that song and not-
That is weird.
What's up with Brett?
I got that one too, by the way. You did get that one. Yeah, but only one person spelled that right, for what's worth. It's fair. It's not to know the name of that song and not. That is weird. What's up with Brett? I got that one too, by the way.
You did get that one.
Yeah, but only one person spelled that right for what it's worth.
It's fair.
It's not a real place.
But also a state of mind.
No, there's a place called Kokomo.
There's not.
Yeah, in Indiana.
That's where you want to go to get away from it all.
It's not, okay.
The song's not about Kokomo, Indiana.
Way down in Kokomo, Indiana.
Indiana.
Ooh, I want a cabana. That that's pretty good we're doing coke with darn
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Is that a risk that you're willing to take?
I'm going to try on every piece of clothing in that store i promise you that well something happened it's gonna take you a while but yeah it might take you a minute dude something happened
in the office today that should have gotten a little more excitement i don't even know if
dylan's aware of this but uh randy has won a trip to the bahamas via a mall giveaway a mall giveaway
it's amazing that randy won entered a mall giveaway because it means that
he was at the mall just entering giveaways i saw this on the rundown i thought mall was a miss
typo i thought it was male giveaway no but this is so much better no it's a mall giveaway yeah
so okay first and foremost what were you at the mall for secondly where was the giveaway taking
place and uh third how long ago was this?
Oh, man, this had been probably a month, maybe two months ago.
I kind of even forgot that I did it.
I don't know what I was at the mall for.
Oh, I think I was looking up.
I think I was doing phone stuff because I was about to get a new phone and I was need to go to the Apple store and like had some questions and stuff.
So and I probably stopped and got like, so think i got auntie ann's that day too oh wow yeah real malt that's a real malt yeah and uh there was it wasn't even it was just a little
like a little just table with a little box that had like cards that you could fill out there was
no one even there just had like one of those things that said enter win a vacation giveaway and i was like i might as well there's
i looked in like there was nothing there was just pretty much your name and your phone number and
that's all that you needed and it said right there not a timeshare i'm like all right and uh yeah i
just got a text this morning that said that i that i it. Apparently it's a monthly sweepstake. So do you have a timeframe that you need to like do this by, is this a real thing?
I looked it up because I was also like, I, the, I watched a video on a guy. I was like,
I was getting a lot of things about this. People were just surprised. They wanted like,
it's definitely a picture of your handwriting on a thing that you filled out. So I was like,
why didn't I think it was a scam back then? But when I won it, I thought it was a scam.
But no, it seems like it's legit.
It's just a company that's just trying to get people to Bahamas and sell the rooms they have already bought.
And the time frame, I'm not sure.
I need to call them today and find that out.
It's a trip for two.
I was going to guess.
It's not a solo situation.
It's a trip for two.
Who are you taking?
I don't know. I's not a solo situation. It's a trip for two. Who are you taking? I don't know.
I know someone you could ask.
I think, I mean, I'm just going to,
we were talking about maybe I should just put it on my Hinge profile
saying I just want a trip for two to the Bahamas.
No, but Randy made a good point.
And he said, he's like, but if you go to the Bahamas with someone,
you're probably going to fall in love.
It happens.
So it has to be someone I'm ready to love with.
I think you need to bring your roommate.
Honestly, he is the top candidate right now.
Because I'm worried you're going to get your little ass taken.
Does your roommate have a girlfriend?
Yes.
Okay.
Take a baddie.
Take a shorty with you.
But they have like a package deal with Margaritaville at sea,
and I feel like me and him would just absolutely crush it.
No, Randy told me before summer
his summer ambitions
were to go to a theme park
and to go on a cruise
and he wants to see
this cruise through.
And now,
I don't think the cruise
is paid for,
but the stay at the Bahama Resorts
is paid for.
What's the name of the resort?
There's two resorts.
I don't know.
I don't know.
We can look it up
if you want to look it up. Yeah, they have two different resorts. I don't know. I don't know. We can look it up if you want to look it up.
Yeah, they have two different resorts.
One's all-inclusive on the beach, and one is like more, has better pool scenes,
put them up bars and water slides and stuff.
That's where you're going.
Let's be honest.
I see more family-friendly, though, so I might want to go with the one that's more like resorting on a pool.
Buddy, you're turning down a water slide.
You're 12 years old at heart, though, Randy.
I know. It's true. It's true. I gotiseum. You're turning down a water slide. You're 12 years old at heart, though, Randy. I know.
It's true.
It's true.
I got options.
I think you should take a babe.
No offense to your roommate, who I'm sure y'all would have a great time.
He's a babe.
You should take a babe.
He's a firefighter.
He's a first responder.
Do you have a problem with our firefighters?
No, he responds first.
Okay.
Guys like you?
I highly, greatly respect our first responders, but you shouldn't take one of them.
He bombs with you.
Yeah.
Wow.
I don't support you taking our first responders out of the country
so they can't respond first.
He's got a job to do here.
What if he has to get up and respond?
Yeah.
Have you thought about that?
Yeah, I do.
You know what?
That's selfish of me to think.
So he listens to the podcast,
so I guess he just convinced me not to bring him.
Yep. Sorry, bud. Maybe maybe next time you should bring sauce we i'll take him to hula hut while you're in the
bahamas for him being a first responder so yeah no i'll give him a call later today they have a
pre-recorded message that says what it all entails by ready right on their website what it was and
see if there's like you have to do it between these dates or whatever i don't love the pre-recorded message yeah it's scary that's
kind of giving it'd be good content if randy got taken though we would find you like you know the
meme of chris jenner saying like you know when i saw kim's sex tape as her mom i wasn't happy
but as her manager that's kind of how i feel about randy getting abducted this includes airfare
obviously no oh no so yeah that's the thing it's a monthly sweepstake the only thing i think the only thing
it really includes is a four night five day four night stay at the hotel and then everything else
is on you so it's like no food credit or anything yeah i think the all-inclusive one would have that
oh so that's why i'm kind of leaning yeah that. Yeah, you got to go all-inclusive. You got to go all-inclusive, bud.
Yeah, bud.
Free trip is,
it's the move.
So yeah,
and they have
package deals with cruises.
So you can just either
book a flight to the Bahamas
and then it's just
everything's paid for
at the hotel and stuff
or you can do
one of their like
cruise things.
So I don't know.
I'll get more information about it.
I'll let you know.
This is exciting.
Well, literally everything
is coming up, Randy, right now.
Because if you go to vox.com and you just like click on one of the main articles there, you'll read this.
But what is a sundress?
In mid-April, Jacqueline Ryan, a 24-year-old in Baltimore, posed the question to her TikTok following.
Quote, I see all these videos of men saying how much they love sundresses, she said.
What is a sundress?
I own every dress.
Which one is the sun one?
The video ended up getting more than 9 million views,
but even after thousands of comments,
no one could provide a definitive answer.
That's when Randy Trimbaki,
a 30-year-old video producer in Austin,
no hat tip to watch media,
replied with a lengthy video complete with visual aids to show
what he believed men thought of when they spoke excitedly about sundress season you're just famous
right now you're just taking lavish vacations the Bahamas and getting written up by major
publications I do have ants in my car though I did tell you that this morning so you're not
supposed to still no baddies are going to the Bahamas with dudes that have ants in their car you gotta you gotta edit this out
you need Pesty
yeah
you do need Pesty
that's true
that'd be a great segue
but yeah no
all things coming up Randy
this week
the hero that
the sundress community needed
not the one it deserved
well said
I haven't read the article yet
it just
it just dropped
it dropped as we were like you haven't seen the second half of it just dropped. It dropped as we were like...
You haven't seen the second half of it?
That goes into your history?
That goes into your...
This says it was dropped four days ago.
Oh, was it?
It's dated May 25th.
She said that she was going to reach out.
It's been live for a while.
I think that might be an error on their site
because I think it came out today.
Okay.
Do you not have Google Alerts set up for your name?
No. Do you? So wait, Barrett yeah yeah yeah barrett's just reading vox yeah nice little wednesday yep okay he reads good for him how often you get hit on your name uh more now just
because of uh scary like twitter and stuff because it registers tweets now but i used to do it for
everyone i knew that was
close to me huh because i want to know if anything was up someone got in trouble or something you're
you're sleuthy yeah i'm a psycho you are a psycho it's nice to have that though like it's nice to
know like oh okay cool do you have any of us on google i think i do i don't know if i ever set
it up for grand x because i i set this all up before I even worked at Grand X.
I just have a folder and it just is for Google alerts and it just alerts me when, yeah, random people's names come up.
Is it tough with tube socks?
It's tough with tube socks, yeah.
There's a lot of tube socks articles.
It's difficult.
Yeah.
It's difficult.
Can we talk Chipotle?
Yeah. We have somebody in this office who goes to Chipotle often.
And I would say 50% of the time he complains about it.
I want to get him to do this.
In fact, if he's not already doing this, I would be surprised.
People on TikTok, Randy, you may have seen this.
People are filming the Chipotle artists, the bowl artists,
the burrito artists, so they don't skimp on the meats. And I will say, resourceful move,
also a trash move. Don't do this. Don't film. Don't do that. This is total trash.
I think back to when I was a sandwich artist.
You remember that.
Cell phones weren't a thing yet.
But I definitely had people critical of my sandwich making skills.
Maybe if I didn't give them enough lettuce or whatever it was.
There was a guy.
There was a lettuce guy.
We had a lettuce guy come in.
I'm like, this lettuce isn't good.
Anyway, I can imagine how upset I would be if someone is just pops out a phone and is recording
me in theory, they're going to like send it to my boss or the, you know, tag me on Twitter and it,
and get me in big trouble. Give me fire. There's a, uh, there's a pokey place that
Will and I like to go to and Westlake and they do, um, like a standard bowl or whatever is like
two scoops of protein it's obviously like that's
what makes or breaks your bowl because sometimes you'll get people who like let it let a big piece
of salmon like fall out of the the big ladle thing or whatever the big scooper and it's like
ah it kind of sucks yo get that but never you get that one back never would i think to pull out my
phone and document it and put them on front street.
Can I give a counterpoint?
Okay.
Can I give a counterpoint?
I have a theory about – and Randy, please get the photo that I just slacked you ready to go up on the screen.
I have a theory that if you go to the Chipotle down South Lamar way from our office,
if you go between the hours of about 12 and 1.15,
you're going to find yourself getting the worst bowl of all time because it's mid-lunch rush.
They don't want to go make a bunch more food in the back and put it all in the containers and do
all the stuff. So they skimp you during that time. If you go at 1.15 after, you get just a mound of
food. They're trying to get rid of it. They don't want to clean it up. They don't want to deal with
it. Brett always goes early on in the lunch hour, closer to noon than closer to one.
And this is his bowl from last week that I took a photo of because I was so appalled
by how small this bowl was that if Brett might need to start taking out his phone at this
fucking place. He's not a real muncher. Dude, that's a bad bowl. Are you kidding me? Compare
that to the one this guy has in the video linked here on Twitter, and it's one
third of the size.
That is the worst bowl I've ever seen from Chipotle.
That is trash.
And Brett, this is a regular occurrence for Brett.
Do we know if this guy's asking, like some of these guys do like double protein.
Yeah.
Do we, can you, has anyone like heard the audio of this video?
Is he asking for like more than standard?
He definitely asked for double, just based on what he looks like, he's definitely doing double protein there.
You know what I mean?
Double protein plus guac is just too much food for lunch.
You just don't need that.
I don't care what you're putting up.
That looks like double guac.
This guy is getting so much sodium.
That's Dan Register there.
Is this good marketing for them or is this bad marketing for them?
I feel like more people are going to be going there because it's top of mind.
I'm entertaining Chipotle for lunch today.
It's good marketing, but I think it's the whole reason that this has started because
they were getting smoked online because everyone's saying that like Chipotle is starting to like
skimp on stuff.
And that's why people started doing this.
And then I think it became a thing that like they're like, if someone said they had their
phone out, give them extra stuff.
I think Chipotle peaked in about 2010 and i i
really believe the last eight to ten years have been a steady downhill situation for chipotle
shrinkflation like you were saying on retail therapy i think panera had the same thing i know
you hate panera but they like their portion sizes got way smaller it's the worst place ever i i
usually if i go to chipotle it's usually a give up lunch where i'm
like okay i'm just abandoning ship i'm trying to get something i actually want today i just want
something filling and good gonna go to chipotle and it's usually late in the day and i always get
a stacked up bowl i like i have no issues with what they've been doing for me lately if you're
i i find myself like really judging people when they go if they go to panera i know this is about
chipotle but i just don I just don't get it.
It's like, did you land on Earth two days ago,
and this is the first restaurant you found?
Why are you eating here?
What are you doing?
Because they think it's a healthy option of fast food,
even though it's not.
They just think it is.
The portions are trash.
The food quality is ass.
I think you need to go there.
You haven't been there in years.
You need to go back.
They don't deserve a dime of wine.
You need to go back.
I think it was better way back in the day.
I don't think it's as good now.
It's gotten way worse.
I haven't eaten it in seven years.
On account of it being trash.
She said the quality is ass.
But like, yeah.
It's just not good.
So Chipotle just was getting flamed because of it.
It's like if Panda Express gives you so much food,
it'd be like if they just stopped giving you
not like a double thing of orange chicken,
and then people start flaming them.
So that's what this is.
Why would you, an adult, choose Panera or even Chipotle
when there is a perfectly good Schlotzky sandwiches?
It's a great question.
No less than two miles down the road.
That's a great question.
Why would you not just go to Jersey Mike's
and get a sopping wet sub?
You got Schlotzkies the other day, didn't you?
I've had Schlotzkies twice in the last week.
Are you gatekeeping Schlotzkies from the office?
I brought it in.
Don't gatekeep the Schlotzkies, dude.
Where's your Schlotz?
Down Schlotz in Shady Hollow.
There's one really close to your place, dude.
Or there at least used to be one.
That closed down years ago.
Oh, man.
Rest in peace.
Pards.
There's one on Brody Pards.
Okay, Pards.
You been in that Schlotz on Bro?
I have.
Stop.
Have you tried their little personal pizza?
I can't imagine.
I think I did like a pizza sub.
It's not bad.
It's sub. I mean, it's a unique. We're not doing Schlotzky's pizza. Sometimes, what I like to do. Just go like a pizza sub it's not bad it's stop i mean it's not doing schlotzky's pizza
sometimes what i like to just go to a pizza place well for me okay when i go to schlotzky's
sometimes i'll get like the smaller sandwich and then i'll get a personal pizza so there's two of
them and here we go i'm sitting there at lunch and i'm like, okay, which one am I going to bite first?
And then sometimes I'll go with the Zaw, playing my Zaw card.
And then I've got the Schlotzky sandwich.
And like two different?
For me?
Two different at the same time?
Like how's that?
It's the juxtaposition between the two.
Do you understand?
I get it now.
Uh-huh.
Oh.
And you know, I never leave there wanting more i'm always personally just like
patting my tum tum satisfied full-on hey when you went to the mall the other day did you go by the
the food court and go by the chinese place and get like a toothpick sample of kung pao chicken
no i did they were given there but i'm pretty sure that's where the sweepstake was it was right
by the food court that's all-time mall guy move oh i used to do as teenagers that's we
would always go all right want to do a lap around the mall get all the free samples see how much
sesame chicken you can get and before they tell you like did you got to buy something
i'm looking at the the lineup of restaurants at the mall david popeye's there david um it's not that
good okay okay okay i will tell you this though nordstrom bistro
fuck it's gone downhill really yeah wow i don't like the aioli that they give for their french
fries that's the my favorite thing about i get it a lot of people share that it's not for me i don't know why
i didn't do it okay just give me some normal sauce all right man whatever they do they have elite
elite french onion soup okay i can't eat the fries the aioli it always has me like
like hurting my stomach like i'm always like aioli oh jesus
that's the sound you make all right so if you like this content dumb fucks we have a paywall
oh man food is cool keep your phone away when you're ordering please yeah put the phone away
is what we're trying to tell you don't left it at home yeah that's how that's how married to the
game i am no you're not okay i can tell you're just anxious you just want that phone in your
i have everything i need right here on my laptop no you don't i'm totally fine i'm chill no you
don't i'm everything's fine i'm chill i'm chill dog dude doesn't it feel good to disconnect though oh i can't log into i
can't log into uh off the grid bro yeah you can't log into your gold tea little bitch oh sorry hey
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Ooh, do we have to hear from an old friend?
Randy.
Yes.
Have you guys seen the Wiesencocks do hickey?
I'm not familiar.
Well, you, my friend, are going to be blown away
because no longer do you have to do Wiesencocks off your buddy's schlong.
You can do it off of a little contraption for some reason that they make. This seems
super necessary. So you put your nose
up to the little contraption and you set
it down. It's a little wood.
This is in Germany. I assume this is at Oktoberfest.
Yeah, I'll play it for you.
If you're watching at home,
here it comes.
We have a dual hickey.
What does the second part of this contraption
do? And you pull a little lever So did that just shoot it into his nose? This brushes his nose off like a little is the video we have a dual hickey what is the second part of this oh contraption do and you
pull a little lever so did that just shoot it into his nose this brushes his nose off like a little
golf course thing so you don't go out there and have any wiesencocks in your nose okay okay i see
the vision now we need jr hickey to go to oktoberfest yesterday in order to get some content
for that's a nice touch because if you're trying to do
wiesencox in germany this is the nicest of touches you think this works with other uh powdery
substances that you might ingest up your nose you would ask that question you would ask that question
i don't like bc powder yeah if you have a headache you want to hit it real quick yeah i don't know
if they recommend snorting it but you could take it to the dome i guess yeah probably so what if you look down the bench during like a like a i don't know stars game
okay you saw sagan just with this sex at the end of the bench and some smelling salts what if you
know you're gonna win i mean that automatic dub that i feel like um i feel like that contraption
on a bench would be a problem. It's a downright shame.
As much as we've talked about Wiesenkopf and for as long as we've talked about it,
we haven't tried it yet.
We haven't gotten into the office.
I'll be honest.
I don't really want to do it in public that someone just gives me.
I think I'd rather be in Germany for Oktoberfest and get it from someone that has a clear,
good source for Wiesenkopf. You want to make sure it's not laced. Yeah. I get it from someone that has like a clear uh you know good source for Wiesenkopf
you want to make sure it's not laced yeah I get it I'm not just going to put any random thing up
my nose you know okay I would love to go I would love to go to Octoberfest and dress up and do the
whole thing but my one worry about it is that you're gonna go hard at Octoberfest no matter
what right I found so you're kind of dedicating yourself to ruining like their next day of vacation
unless you have something like very chill planned after.
Yeah, I don't know what else you do.
Like if you go to Oktoberfest, I feel like that's what you do every day, right?
It's a multiple day event.
I just know that like there's going to be one flight on this trip
that's going to be hell.
I found some on Amazon. amazon okay get it to the office
right now it's called herbal snuff ozona vice but i think it's the same shit so it's the one
that they sang about in a sound of music yeah this is visa visa cox it's only 12 dollars
i'm gonna buy it on the company card. It's $12. $70.
Yes, you can buy it on our account.
Is it ethically sourced?
I don't know, David.
Does it...
Let me see.
Does it come in like a circular can?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, dude.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It'll pair nicely with my crank.
Yeah, we're buying that.
That's some good looking shit.
We've got to get V's in here.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, give me two.
I'm just going to buy one for now.
No, no, get a whole stack, dude. There might be a shortage like zen right now two cans of v's and cocks please
what happens if you finish one dave yeah dude i'll fucking do it again i'll fucking do it again
you share the man all right here we go this is this is how we get in trouble get ready for the
v's in oh this is this our wives are going to start to ask questions what's the difference between a contraption and a doohickey so randy well you
see a contraption usually has a little working parts that you can understand where this doohickey
is a little bit more of a wonky and crazy you know that's why was this already discussed
um i'm put it differently i don't think they're grasping it go ahead uh so so like a
contraption is like oh that has a lot of moving parts and like that's well engineered a doohickey
is a little more silly and fun a little more dr susie it has moving parts but you just go man look
at that little doohickey there wow okay free two-day delivery uh yeah i think we're gonna get
it hey dylan make it three
i'm just gonna get one day again i'm just gonna get one for now how about two you can always buy
more well you want this visa and you know you i want the i want the visa it looks good two days
what does it do i can't believe we're doing visa cocks on monday's episode it's it's nicotine free
but yeah i hope so it's just cocks visa cocks is just for the vibes i think it's it's nicotine free but yeah i hope so it's just cox is just for the vibes i think
it's just but what does it do i assume not much as the the kid doing it in on this doohickey
looks like he's about 17 is in his hometown was he born there from the looks of it yeah
yeah he's giving german okay okay. Okay. Oh, my God.
This is too hicky.
Oh, this is too hicky.
It's just a refreshing menthol flavored.
You ever snowed at a Newport?
I don't know what it does.
I don't know what it does.
You ever shoved a camel crush up your nose and done this with it?
I haven't.
No.
What does this do?
You're soft, dude. It's kind of like what Will just described. Yeah do you're soft dude it's kind of like what we'll just describe
yeah you're soft soft as fuck i still don't know what the purpose of it is but we're gonna find
out something the boys do over there he does sometimes they do it off their friends penises
benises benises off the oil and their benises do a half pipe
dylan are you familiar with Liberty Avery and Greg Kirby?
Ooh, I'm not.
What if I told you that they are from Norfolk, UK,
and they've chosen to live life as if it were the 1940s?
They wear traditional clothing daily,
finish their home with vintage pieces, and go on
1940s-themed holidays.
You know, I'm no history buff.
I was about to make the same point, Dave.
I just feel like that wasn't the best era.
Yeah.
Especially for the UK.
Yeah, see?
That is a solid point.
But it's just the vibes minus minus all the all that stuff all the
we're immaculate all the drama all the fireballs the war and the genocide i forget all that
in the 2010s my buddy made a joke in his grad school class about he's like i can't wait for the
the 20s the roaring 20s are going to be back it's gonna be so fun and then there was a girl in the
class who said looked at him and she goes well yeah maybe for you like the 1920s would have been fun but like
there's a lot of other people and he was like oh yeah yeah that's a good point that's a good point
this guy was just kind of making a little quip yeah yeah kind of brought the vibe down cutting
attention it wasn't that it's like when taylor swift says she'd like to go back to 18 whatever
without all the races uh facts she didn't clarify without all without all the races
uh but you know it's a great line yeah you know maybe just don't put that in there you just didn't
have to put where do you but i mean dylan they have a 1942 american jeep and they dress in their
1940s attire for their wedding i know i know they also they use a camera apparently from the 1940s
and it looks it looks like if the pictures are from 1940 yeah
i think that's usually how it goes right here's the thing they're doing they're doing an article
with puberty uh an online publication i just don't know if people from the 1940s are doing that
what's the scoop yeah it's no put it on the back page no no box that's for sure yeah it's no box
what do these people fucking do these are dylan you you like oh it looks like a hipster from the
head up this is fucking look at these fucking hipsters right here i wonder if they if they do
the voice no i gotta i gotta see it like a video interview with these these folks do you think
they were sitting in their house with like no electricity going and they're just like look at
each other they're like should we give it up remember that group dinner we went to a couple weeks ago where they
people were talking about what shows they watched and we just sat there like fucking doofuses
they use like an ice box instead of an actual refrigerator they should if they're using modern
day stuff i'm out they got to commit to the bit the food was just as shitty then over there as it
is now though who started this which
one of these two was the the originator and which one is the chameleon i wonder if they found each
other like a uh like a convention it's definitely him it's all him it's him and she's like okay
yeah hello my baby yeah where'd they meet their their stereo is just like a record player with
the old timey like uh what is it called the
horn thing you know like an old rca did they meet it like a speakeasy yeah yeah met down at the all
watering hole they only go to speakeasies when they go out when they step out what kind of dance
were they doing when they met uh i don't know what just do a demonstration of what you think
it might have looked like when he approached her on the dance floor. Like a jitterbug or something?
I think it was something like that.
What's a jitterbug look like?
It was the Trump.
That's not the Trump.
It was the Trump.
No, the Trump's more out to the side.
No, dude, he was hitting that, though.
Yeah, there it is.
He was hitting it.
Trump was hitting that.
Why is he the most unintentionally hilarious person of all time?
Why is he the most unintentionally hilarious person of all time?
Dude, he live tweeted or live truthed during court for, you know, where he's facing multiple felonies.
Defamation.
He just said, boring.
Did you see his Memorial Day truth post?
Boring.
No, I did not.
Oh, it was great.
It was great.
He said, happy Memorial Day, even to all the, and then he went off on like called people scumbags and it was just like it was it was vintage trump
did you see the golf edit of him hitting drives and then the ball just hits biden every single
time he falls yeah that's a good bit i feel like that's that's one uh yeah yeah i've seen that
i love the idea of just you're sitting there and like this is going to affect like the rest of your life, you know, this whole trial.
And you're just like looking around, looking at your lawyer like, God damn it.
Wrap it up.
Yep.
Boring.
Boring.
Not that fun.
Witch hunt.
I was indicted.
They don't even know why they indicted me happy memorial day to all including the human scum that is working so hard to destroy our once great country i mean
human it's a very long post human scum is really a nice touch did y'all see that person that got
extracted from the bog i I saw your tweet.
Yeah, what happened there?
Dude, I don't know.
Are you guys familiar with bog compression?
I've dabbled in bogs. That's where you get in a bog and it compresses you for like 2,000 years or some shit.
It's not great.
What's a bog?
Like the swampland.
Oh.
Come on, dude.
You've never been with the boys in bogs?
Yeah, it's where you listen to the gloop music.
I was thinking something.
I'm still confused about how this goes.
The gloop music's played on a doohickey
and you bog to it.
See, that's a doohickey.
That's not a contortion.
That is a doohickey.
Yeah, you didn't see my underappreciated tweet
with like 13 likes on it?
No.
That slipped by your timeline?
These people are in their 20s?
We've moved on to bots.
Does that mean they were born in the 1920s?
Can they read this article?
Yeah, do they have the internet?
Do they get the newspaper?
How do they subscribe to the newspaper?
They definitely get the newspaper.
When did the printing press get invented?
It was around a long, long time ago.
Yeah, that was...
Gutenberg.
1800s?
I want to say maybe the 1700s because
weren't the freedom papers predated sure maybe 16 predated the uh revolution
oh shit i said 16s do you think like this is big that was a long time ago do you think only one
person one person a friend person, a friend group
had a printing press at home
and all the other friends
made fun of them for it
like y'all do me
when I got my printer?
Mm-hmm.
But then every once in a while
you need something printed
and you hit that boy up.
Guess when the printing press
was invented?
1722.
I'm going 1612.
I'm going to split the difference
and go like 1683.
1440.
Oh, Jesus.
1440.
Wow.
You know, it changed the world.
I know.
You could print stuff in mass.
Not just in mass.
You could print it anywhere.
It's true.
But yes, that is true.
You could print religious texts.
The scripts.
Yeah, probably a lot
of that pass it around probably a bunch i think they ever wrote their freestyles down on those
and passed them around damn you're just interested like somebody slides you a note
do y'all ever do freestyle battles with your boys on aol messenger no typically typically no word so how would that go you type out your verse and then they respond
to you with their verse what do you mean how does it go see kids today won't understand that
no no you just sit there laboring
you're just like oh what's he gonna do i think you guys should start doing it
i think i think someone should hop in the group text today and roast their boy via verse and see
how that goes for them look at this well dude 22 likes dave i just oh dave hit me with that retweet
dude yeah i felt bad i exposed myself for not acknowledging your tweet no No, it's okay. It was a mediocre tweet. You know what's not mediocre?
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Again, that's Fit fitbod.me slash steam again that's f-i-t-b-o-d dot m-e slash steam are the boys diving billionaires are back at it what what are they doing this is the dumbest i
couldn't believe it when i saw this remember how last year we were all captivated by the um
Remember how last year we were all captivated by the implosion of the submarine?
It was an exciting few days until we learned of their demise.
What if I told you the billionaires are going to run it back?
They said, hey, hold my beer.
Hold my Chianti.
Why?
Hold my Chianti Classico.
Is that what billionaires drink?
Probably something better than that. Run. Ride my Chianti Classico. Is that what billionaires drink? Probably something better than that.
Ron!
Ride a Chianti!
Ooh!
How's Ron sound?
Over the floor. Oh, fuck.
Oh, work you.
OCT.
Yeah, they're going to do it.
It's Ohio Billionaire.
Does that change things?
It's a two-person sub?
Uh-uh. Yeah yeah maybe if we called
them party so yeah maybe we should optimize it and just do two people instead of like six
is is this a billionaire from ohio or a billionaire that has no riz yeah oh clarify
that's a great i trust ohio to build it i trust ohio to build something they're gonna get back
from this journey and look we could do it everyone's like okay cool we weren't asking for this no one cares no yeah we moved on yeah
those people still they're going down to the titanic have y'all seen the the graph of uh
deaths due to the titanic yeah it's really funny you see it dave i assume you see you see it spike
it spikes uh when the titanic sank and then there were no deaths due to it for a hot take. It spikes when the Titanic sank.
And then there were no deaths due to it.
For a very long time.
But then in 2023, there's a little spike again.
Just a little guy.
And now it might not be done. You get it, right?
Might not be done.
I don't know.
I got a good feeling about these guys.
It's an ongoing graph.
I think this is going to be the one.
This would be the ultimate fool me twice.
But we've been down there.
It has been done
like james cameron james cameron went down hell of times yeah i think the ocean gate thing went
down multiple times too i don't know if it went to that depth i don't think that was the first
time they ever did it well the one we're on i think it was the first time they went down to
the titanic maybe on to that like low of death like they have done but like yeah oh yeah it had
been used before but it hadn't gone down that deep. Yeah, it wasn't being used for its intended purpose.
That PlayStation controller was used before
to control that thing.
You can't...
So I made the horrible mistake one time
of getting in a sports car with my brother-in-law
who drives like a psycho.
And I strapped in and I was like,
why did I just do this?
The second I clicked the seatbelt,
I was like, I shouldn't have gotten in this car with him.
I need to be in control of my situation.
If I showed up to this submersible
and I saw that PlayStation controller,
it would be the exact same feeling.
Oh no, why would I get in this shit?
People found it on Amazon for like $29.99.
Dude, it's just crazy.
Like, hey, maybe it's got really good reviews.
They had a capture card.
Did they, Randy?
Do they have a gaming computer computer i don't think they did
he should have twitched it he could have uh he could have done cross-platform streaming
true people are kind of rooting for this guy to fail and that means death i don't want i don't
want him to die i'm gonna put it out there that i would like it if he lived and he just mission
accomplished and there was no news about it if you went If you had a family who died on the Titanic, which we all may have had some distant relatives.
Well, yeah.
I think there are probably some people from County Cork on there.
Definitely.
Would you be upset like they were being disturbed?
Yeah.
I don't think I...
I kind of want to know.
I'd be like, can you get some Johns from my relatives on there?
Yeah.
Like me and my girl, we're trying to do this bit where we go back to like the early 1900s swag that's gonna
be our new drip and just want to get some authentic shit yeah yeah this guy's like trying to like
relaunch the industry of this i think he's like he's trying to prove that it's safe it's just not
an industry that i care about at this point the death rate of this industry is not ideal i have
no desire to get in a submarine of any sort.
Have you all seen the photos from Mount Everest?
Like the line up top?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because like apparently now is the big time to go to Everest.
It's like the perfect weather time to slide in.
There's only a few weeks out of the year
that you can actually go up and do it
without being impeded by it.
And it's just getting overrun with people.
But it would take away from it a lot if you're at the top of Mount Everest and there's just getting overrun with people but it take away it
would take away from it a lot if you're at the top of mount everest and there's like a line of people
getting getting photos off bro sounds like rainy street here i read an article i read someone's
account of it that said that they got to the top but the line was too long and they had to like go
back down before they could actually get a photo at the top and so the person was going again to
go do it if you get to the top i'm like no i'm not leaving here until i get a fucking photo at the top of mount everest absolutely i still think i'm gonna do it i would
never oh is climbing everest choogy it's not as impressive when you see a giant line of people
so many people do it now it used to be like oh my god that guy climbed mount everest now it's like
you're all the flex is doing it without oxygen. Oh,
apparently like holding your breath the entire time.
Yeah,
that's pretty crazy.
What's the temperature
there like in the middle
of the summer?
Dude,
I bet it's not warm.
It's cold.
It's an elevation.
Oh,
I thought it was a sea
level climb.
A couple high altitude
fucks.
The highest natural
point on Earth,
David.
Is it?
It is.
It's not a siwa climb
or is k2 higher that's a tougher climb because you got to just go no ever since the everest is
the tallest yeah i scaled k2 punch me in the leg with this siwa day i was siwa is that what you
would do if you got to the top no that's how i would climb that's how i'm scaling i think it's
gonna wear you out i think yep that's why it's a challenge i think from base to top everest is not
the biggest mountain but it is the tallest point on earth i think there's a like mountain that like
there's so i guess it's the highest point maybe that tallest mountain if you go there you understand
what he's saying i don't yeah it says here that mount everest is 29,032 feet versus K2, which is 28,251.
Pretty close.
So it says Mount Everest is Earth's highest mountain above sea level.
I don't know how that relates to what you're saying,
but I think what you're saying is correct.
That's good stuff, Randy.
Hey, Randy, that's good shit, dude.
Randy's got some knowledge.
I had a big debate about this in college.
Spoiler alert, nobody won that.
We all walked away.
Oh, really?
There was a gray area?
Yeah.
It's interesting.
Interesting.
Really interesting.
There's a gray area.
It was something Randy needed to decide.
All those dead bodies that are just ice cubes up there.
Just chilling.
Can't bring them down.
If they thaw out and just walk it off, like, ooh.
You can't get a helicopter up that high.
That'll give you a crick in the neck.
It's too high for a chopper. You thaw out and you're like oh where am i and you look you're oh you gotta walk all the way down gotta go all the way back down one of them's a lawyer
oh he's okay he's actually pretty good though yeah he really leans on his uh yeah lack of
knowledge as he is a caveman he really wins over the hearts of the jury.
That's right.
Dude, that's so high up there.
29,000 feet?
What's the highest I've gone on a mountain?
It's like 12,000, I think.
A player does not know where I've been.
I've learned that elevation is – I'm fine in like Colorado or something,
but I don't need to go any higher.
I struggle in like the mountain,
like mountain towns of Colorado.
Like,
you know,
I'm not Denver,
but like you get up there and it's like,
it's hard.
It's hard.
Yeah.
Breckenridge,
Breckenridge had its moments on the mountain where I was like,
oh yeah,
okay.
I get it.
I get why people get out of breath and why they kind of struggle with this.
I sleep like shit up there too.
Not me,
dude.
Cause I just get so faded.
Okay.
When I tried to free solo el capitan i had a little
trouble really yeah i didn't know you free that's i tried i did i made it three-fourths of the way
and then the park rangers got me and they flew a helicopter in and like lassoed me really and i
went out like limp i was like they were like drag me out of there sir next time don't do the sea
wood dance all the way up you might you might make the top don't you get it don't you get a hat if you
get to the top of it yeah you do the al capitan's hat that's good that's good i like that
you were limp bodied out of there yeah yeah i went back to my hotel room and free soloed
really we'll just practice because i was like i might give it another run that's what i'm saying Yeah. Yeah. I went back to my hotel room and free cell load. Really?
We'll just practice.
Because I was like, I might give it another run.
That's what I'm saying.
Okay.
That's quite the journey. I have a VersaClimber in my hotel room.
Okay.
Oh, I see.
You know this one?
I was confused what you meant by that.
You know that machine?
That's a good workout.
It is.
I'm scared to use it.
Because you look a little silly.
I'm scared I'm going to not know how to do it and have to get off of it.
The biggest fear in the gym is someone has to come over and tell you how to do something because you're doing it wrong yeah well we'll go but hey man that's not a predicament you got
to strap in correct why do you have to strap in on that thing it's like a little safety tether
i don't know you seen that what issue are you when you put it you put it around your waist
and you clip in and it's like i think it if you fall off it stops turning i think that's what it is like
kind of like a jet ski so you don't get caught in it and like grind it up by the versa you know the
jet ski thing oh yeah yeah yeah so if you fall off it shuts the engine off yeah or if you're
my friend in high school you don't put that thing on and it just goes around in circles. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, the one time I fell off a jet ski, I did not have that connected.
It's a scary moment.
Not ideal for the squad.
Not what you want.
Not ideal for the squad.
It was one of the scariest moments of my life.
I get it.
Chip a vest on?
Yeah, I was with my buddy.
We both had vests on and we didn't know what to do. But I was like, this thing, we have one shot to get back on this thing as it goes in circles
around us.
And if it knocks one of us out, I don't know what we're going to do.
Not sure.
Be careful on the water, folks.
Yeah.
Water's scary, man.
Yeah, I put it on every time now.
It's unforgiving.
Unforgivable.
You guys want a steam room?
Yeah, dude.
I have a steam room.
Do you want it, though? I want to hear what you got. Do you want it? No. If I could get this guy? Yeah, dude. I have a steam room. Do you want it, though?
I want to hear what you got.
Do you want it?
No.
If I could get this guy towed, I would.
Let's hear it.
Okay.
You know, I have a route that I have to take every once in a while to work.
And a lot of the time, this route gets commandeered by school buses.
Never ideally be behind a school bus in a neighborhood.
Just takes forever.
You know when they stop.
You can't go around it.
And even if you can go around it,
you're always really scared
at the what if.
Yeah.
Like what if the stop sign
goes back on there
and what if I kill a kid?
Don't want to do that.
Don't want to kill a kid.
Other days there's, you know,
garbage trucks.
They're just doing their job.
Tough to get around those.
You know, you got hills, you got turns.
You can't really see what's going on.
But you take it in stride.
Maybe you got to go dive down a side street
and get around them, figure it out.
But you move on.
Wait.
Is there enough steam in here?
That's me whipping down. Today I had to run an errand had to go by my old old place had to pick up a package that got sent there and on a very main road uh i got stuck behind a guy who was uh
riding his bike you know road bikers they're a polarizing bunch randy not me this guy's going
up to he's going up a hill and he's in the middle
of the road. And I'm like, Oh, you're going pretty slow. You're laboring up this hill,
but I respect it. You're on your grind. So I look over and I'm like, wait,
we live in the most bike friendly city in America, uh, per the stats, per all the,
the bike lanes that they've put in. And I'm like, why is this guy riding in the middle of the
fucking road right now? I look over and this is the widest bike path i've ever seen in my entire
life and i'm like okay whatever i get by go around the guy and he kind of gives me this look like
what are you doing going around me and i'm like well you're taking forever dude like stop street
bikers are very snooty yeah and i wasn't i wasn't i didn't do anything like aggressive i didn't rev
the engine i didn't fly by him i tried to do it in a way that was – I don't want the guy to fall over because I'm flying by him.
Take a turn, and I'm like, all right, don't see the guy behind me anymore.
I didn't want the guy to pass me because that's not a good look.
If you pass him in your car and then they pass you, it's like, okay.
It's embarrassing.
He wins.
You win, sir.
You win, Lance.
I turn down another street.
I go pick up my package.
I get back in the car. I start driving. I go pick up my package. I get back in the car.
I start driving.
I come up to an intersection.
The street biker goes through a red light, turns in front of me onto the next street that I'm on.
Oh, come on.
And I'm behind the guy again.
And I'm like, oh, my God.
What do I do with this guy?
Like, why does he think that he's allowed to ride in the middle of the road when, like, there's so many bike lanes for people to do it in?
And I think, aren't they meant for people that are doing the road biking, or are these just meant for, like, little kids?
Randy, you're a road biker.
It's for all bikes.
I wouldn't say I'm a road biker.
I'm just a biker.
Yeah, he should be in the bike lane.
Fuck him.
Why do we have all these bike lanes, and why do they think they can just not be in a bike lane when there's bike lanes?
Dude, it's one of the things that has irritated me throughout my
life i don't understand it about a month or so ago i'm i left here to go home for lunch i was
driving down south amar and there's this woman who and i don't i'm not trying to be like judgy but
she wasn't like a biker she was just a a woman on a bike, like very casually strolling,
like just riding right in the middle of South Amar.
And she was going seven.
And there were like 12 cars stacked up behind her.
They couldn't get around it
because other cars in other lane were going pretty fast
and they couldn't get over.
And she was holding up so much traffic
right in the middle of the road.
Didn't have a helmet on.
She was just a woman on a bike.
It's scary.
It's scary as the person in the car to be like
dude you got to get out of here because something bad's gonna happen i don't want to witness this
or be a part of it i don't understand why why that's allowed lance armstrong said he doesn't
road bike in austin anymore it's dangerous like and if he's not willing to do it i don't think
anybody else should be doing it like on the main roads in austin it seems crazy to me to do it
like people are bad drivers here the only time i saw saw a dead body in Austin was a biker who got clipped on 360 one time.
Road bikers, like, just know that if we pass you and you're not in the bike lane,
that we're trying to do our best with you.
And they get so irritated when you don't, like, fully respect what they're doing.
Like, they just get, they have an attitude about them.
We should always be on high alert for bikers
when you're in the middle of the street.
Yeah.
If you're not using the bike lane,
the designated bike lane,
then I feel like you are in the wrong.
You need to be a dog.
There's no reason to not be in that.
And if you are using the road, speed up.
At least try to keep up with the flow of traffic.
Oh, when I see a guy that's, like, pumping, and I can see a guy that's giving it his all,
and he's in the road, and I know that he's serious about it, I'm like, all right.
Like, I'm not going to rain on this guy's parade because he's operating at a different level.
And these fuckers will ignore traffic laws, too.
Don't go through a red light if it's clear.
Dude, don't even get me started. My old place
overlooked a really dangerous one-stop intersection where everyone thought it was a three-way stop.
The amount of bikers that would go through there, it was just, it was every single time I would see
a biker go by, I would shudder thinking that they were going to get hit by somebody. And the amount
of times that I would hear an argument bust out,
like a,
a,
like honked horn into a road biker yelling like,
fuck you,
buddy.
It was like,
dude,
everyone's angry at each other and no one's in the right right now.
Everyone's doing their best.
If you want us to respect you as a,
like a,
like we would a car on the road,
obey the traffic laws.
If you're going to get the right of way,
which road bikers deserve,
because they're in a more dangerous situation.
If you're going to get the right of way, then you need to deserve because they're in a more dangerous situation. If you're going to get the right of way, then you need to stop at every light and stop at every stop sign.
Yeah.
Because if not, then you're giving up your rights of having the right of way.
You're going to get smoked.
I feel like from here.
What, Randy?
I agree to an extent.
It is so hard to get.
It's a lot harder to stop at stop signs and get back going there.
If there's cars present, I will always stop.
And usually like cars will even like, let me go, even though it's like, I, I'm supposed
to be stopping.
If I can get a good view and I see, I'm going through that.
So I'm not going to stop.
I get it.
I get it.
But yeah.
And like, if there, if it's clear and I'm stopped at a red light and it's like, all
right, there's no cops around.
It's just jaywalking at this point.
I'm going to go through.
But yeah, if there's cars present, I'll always stop.
But if I lived in a place that had more open roads, I would consider getting like a road
bike for as a form of working out.
But it would be way too scary in Austin.
Oh, my path into here.
I could just go straight down South Lamar, but that's crazy to do.
I take all the side streets and like I have a route goes through neighborhoods and stuff
because there's no way I'm going to do it on the street.
Who'd you guys got on the tour this year?
That French guy.
Probably Martine.
Pagaccia?
Pierre.
I don't think he's French.
I only know one road biker currently.
I don't know any of them is what I'm trying to tell you.
There's a guy from Sloveniavenia he's really good okay i feel like from here down to
your area the zilker area is like prime unserious joyride biker who like that's it
the slovenian we'll gotcha oh yeah we'll got uh we'll get y'all i think it's pagacha pagacha essentially i don't
know dude there's there's road bikers who are unsubscribing actively right now they don't
podcast we're teaching them i'm less i'm not against road bikers in law at large i'm against
the casual who thinks that they're good enough dude that the traffic. That's the Zilker biker.
I'm telling you, they rent bikes and they're not –
they're just like, oh, I'm going to go check out Austin,
but I'm also going to not know what's going on.
What's with the people on the trail that just get on their bike
and blow by people and expect you to get out of the way?
It's like, guys, you guys need to avoid trails.
I'm always looking over my shoulder.
Oh, yeah, you got to.
The trail is for the casual, leisurely joyride, for like i'm gonna go get 20 miles in this i walked
stella this morning this dude came screaming past us on a like a mountain bike happened to me in um
circle c down by me uh guy like got mad because i was i was walking the dog randy and like i was
kind of veered in the middle.
And he comes by and he's like, on your left,
and kind of yelled at me.
Chill out, bro.
All right, dude.
He's going real fast.
Yeah.
Maybe he's keyed up, man.
When he yells on your left, it seems innocent,
but you know how you get fired up.
On your left.
That's how it sounded.
I just want to complain about the bike group that goes by every Saturday morning at 645 and yells,
Pothole left! Pothole left!
Like, yeah, we know there's a pothole here.
You guys yell it every week and I'm laying in bed.
You ever been to Pine House in the morning?
Like Saturday, like 11?
Oh, dude.
Nuts everywhere.
Dude.
Pine House.
There's like a big cycling group that goes and they like... Oh, dude. Nuts everywhere. Dude. Pinehouse. There's like a big cycling group that goes and they like –
Oh, really?
They go ride and they go have like a beer and pizza.
It actually looks kind of dope.
There's like a standing table at the Pinehouse that I usually frequent like between where you order in the bar and between all the other tables.
And one time I was sitting at the end of it near where you order and all the bikers just stood at the standing table.
And suddenly I just realized like my face was just eye level with a bunch of asses and nuts and bike shorts
yeah i was like yeah i'm gonna move i'm gonna go to a different part of the restaurant hella dick
but that being said if i if i was a road biker i would definitely get out and have a beer somewhere
in my road biking stuff to be like yeah no i earned this i have i've thought about doing it
there's some night rides too where everyone puts like lights on their bikes and just goes out
apparently a guy i talked to was like yeah it's just like everyone just smoking weed and drinking maybe
that's maybe i mean that's the move in austin is that like i'm i'm more okay with you if you're
road biking in like a giant peloton group like you have like a bunch of people with you
yeah it's like a michael obolter commercial exactly they're annoying as hell i mean back
up you could join one.
That's true.
You don't have the leg strength.
I do have the mustache for a bike,
a Peloton.
We can't add muscle.
Yeah,
you have a fixed gear one.
Fucking hipster ass.
Let's do this weekend
of fun.
From the neck up though.
Right.
There's a crazy event happening.
I like to turn up.
Road, road, road.
There's a crazy event happening.
Let's just go have fun
and let go of it
where's my glue hit him with that gloop this weekend and fun today is presented by our
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Yeah, there's one that looks like an Italian pizza box.
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Dylan, what are you getting into this weekend?
Ooh, thanks for asking, Will.
Got a pretty fun weekend ahead, I think.
Friday.
I actually have nothing going on Friday, now that I come to think of it.
Probably spend some time with the lady friend and maybe step out for some dinner.
I'm not really sure.
Saturday, big day.
I'll have Parks for the first half of the day, and then he's going to go stay with his aunt
because I am going to Brett's 30th birthday celebration. Yeah, let me be the first to to brett's 30th birthday celebration yeah let me do the first
wish brett a happy 30th birthday tomorrow uh he promises a good turnout i'm excited it's gonna be
fun can't wait um that's all i have going on for actually the whole weekend it's pretty much it's
sunday i'm gonna take park swimming he this dude he won't stop swimming he's a he's turning into a
fish he's gonna get him and fritz in the take Park swimming. This dude, he won't stop swimming. He's turning into a fish.
Dude.
You got to get him and Fritz in the same pool together.
Fritz is just unstoppable.
I'll take him to the pool and I'll swim and then wrestle in the pool with him and throw
him around for like an hour.
And then I get out for a five minute break and he's like, hey, when are you getting back
in the pool?
I'm like, dude, I need to chill out, man.
I'm 40.
Yeah.
Like, calm down.
I'm 40.
Yeah, they don't care.
They don't care at all.
I've learned that.
He just wants to play.
Yeah. Should be a good one. I see Davey checking that forecast. I'm 40. Yeah, they don't care. They don't care at all. I've learned that. He just wants to play. Yeah.
Should be a good one.
I see Davey checking that forecast.
I'm checking it.
Oh, he's checking that forecast.
What's it saying, Davey?
Don't we have a little rain in the forecast?
Chance of rain the next few days.
We need it.
The storm last night.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I've been off my game today.
I didn't fall asleep until close to one.
It was bad.
You have that adrenaline from that Mavs game, dude?
I'm sorry.
Mavs adrenaline.
I tried to make it to the end of the game,
but I didn't make it past the first half.
Yeah, it's fine.
Sweep would have been tough.
You want them to stay fresh.
Losing one, you don't want them to get comfortable.
Exactly.
Sit at home while the other series is going on.
Exactly.
Well, I mean, the finals aren't going to start for like a week anyway.
So we'll see.
Hopefully we can pull that out.
I'll be alternating hockey and basketball.
But Saturday night, as Dylan mentioned, it will be Saturday?
Saturday.
Saturday.
Yeah, it's going to be Brett's 30th.
Looking forward to that, getting out there.
Maybe we'll see Harbs. Oh, we'll going to be... Brett's 30th. Looking forward to that, getting out there. Maybe we'll see Harbs.
Oh, we'll see Harbs.
People are saying that we might get a little Harbs appearance.
People want more from him.
He's going to be so excited to hear that I'm doing testosterone.
Oh, my God.
He's like, dude, you could have just asked me.
I could have just...
I could have just hung out with you more.
Yeah.
He is the human Clomid.
Yeah, I'm going to be... more yeah yeah i have he is the human clomid um yeah i'm gonna be man we got this is like a weekend when no sports t-ball is over with um she's gonna be hanging out around the house uh
life the the pool at our gym i think opens up at some point in the next couple weeks they gotta
get that open dude they gotta get it open yeah yeah it's it's time i'm gonna hit that pool up i mean if it's not officially open i can we
can still use it so we'll probably hit that up and then other than that uh laying fairly low
well you know what it is no tell us okay um i'm starting my weekend early i'm playing golf on friday
really i got a text message about a month ago from our accountant who also listens to our podcast who
is also a friend of ours and he heard me complaining about how i never play golf and how
i'm missing all these tea times and stuff and he said what if we just put a date on the calendar
a month from now i said said, you know what?
Let's do this.
Big dog.
Okay.
So it's happening.
I don't know who's playing.
I don't even think it's a full tea time at this point
if anybody wants to play with us.
So yeah, I'm going to go do that.
It's going to be hot.
I'm going to sweat,
but I'm going to wear my master's shirt.
You win.
I went to the master's famously.
And so I'm going to wear the master's shirt.
And then, yeah, I think I'm going to clear the old sketch
I don't really know what to do with myself
Right now in the mornings on the weekend
There's no soccer to watch
Kind of throws my routine off
Forces me to do things that I don't normally do
Like hang out with my family
And talk to my wife and stuff
Wait do you not have a garage?
Oh yeah I need to
Maybe that's what I do on Saturday
Maybe I get the garage souped up for garage beers.
Let's do it.
And then, yeah, Saturday night, going off for Brett's 30th birthday.
I'm excited to let it rip a little bit.
Are we going to go to a second location?
I'm going to slam some bay juice and go.
Yeah, I'm getting annihilated on Saturday.
Oh, here we go.
He'll be in bed by 11.
This thing starts at, what, 6? He'll be in bed at 11. Probably will be in bed by 11. This thing starts at what, 6? He'll be in bed at 11.
If it starts at 6, I'll... Yeah.
I'll see you at 7.30.
I'll be there at 7.30.
What? What? Are the strippers already going to be out
by then? I was just saying 7.30.
He's out there.
He doesn't know about the strippers.
Oh, yeah.
He doesn't know
about the strippers.
Yeah, I don't think
there's going to be strippers.
There's no strippers?
I don't know.
Oh, I'm not going.
Okay.
Brett told Sally
there's going to be strippers.
He told her?
Yeah, he told her.
Oh, yeah.
Very cool.
So he knows about them.
Yeah, I think he knows about them.
So he's the one
who booked them.
He handpicked them.
Okay.
Tight.
He went to Palazzo and said, you, you with me you coming with me they have a prime rib buffet don't
they brett papa giorgio dude my weekend starts today around the little afternoon today oh yeah
we got a company happy hour what time does that start 4 p.m uh the company happy hour today it's
i'll be honest boys i don't know if
we're ready for it we need to clean this office up like we have both offices from our office
complex coming over to our office today we need to not only do we need to like clean the office
but we i think we need to go buy some non-beer stuff like do we need to go get some high noons
what is that yeah like i think we need to go get some high noons? What is that? Yeah. Like, I think we need to go get some high noons, because I don't feel comfortable with all the people coming over
and just being like, here's some beer from a month ago.
Here's Will's kid's birthday beer.
It's some homemade mead.
Here's this guy's mead.
Would you care for old beer or mead?
Do they know about the theme?
No.
I don't even know about the theme
you're ready
Randy themed it out he's a cool Austin guy
it's a cool Austin guy theme
yeah
it's hipster themed from the neck up
just neck up all the time
I don't even need to change
Dylan's perfect
exciting
alright let's get out of here
voicemails
see you there see you dumb