Circling Back - Drinking Two Beers & Golden Bachelor Cast
Episode Date: August 31, 2023Ted Cruz does not want you drinking only two beers a week, the cast for Golden Bachelor (aka old people Bachelor) has been revealed, a dude who drives around with his bull in his car, flesh-eating dru...gs entering Austin, and so much more. Oh, and yeah, we're still on Dave's couch. Enjoy a free two-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop Support This Episode’s Sponsors Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) Birddogs: www.birddogs.com (CIRCLING at checkout for a free tumbler) Squarespace: www.squarespace.com/steam (STEAM for 10% off your purchase of a website or domain) Fitbod: www.fitbod.me/steam (20% off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live
from dave's couch my name is will defries to my left casting couch man i don't know what that means david ruff i mean sooner or later that joke was
gonna get made right well i just kind of figured it's because you told me you've been watching a
lot of fly fishing tutorial videos and so you've been calling it the casting couch because you're
learning you're honing your craft yeah man i don't just i don't it helps it doesn't
help that i've never actually fly fish before but um i am watching a lot of fly fishing videos
that's something i do hey man uh welcome to my humble home i'm glad to have you i say eat all
you want or no eat all you want take all you need is that like the old saying it's not the old saying
why do people fish for
flies in the first place like why don't you just catch them in a jar seems like there's a better
way to catch them right right yeah like how do you how do you have to be mega accurate to get
it on that little tiny hook so something i've been thinking about uh something i've been thinking about is fireflies.
Where have they been?
What's going on with the fireflies?
Those used to be a staple of my youth.
I haven't seen those in a minute.
Yo, dude, those flies,
those are fire.
Yeah, I mean, they illuminate.
I'm not proud that I know this,
but if you kill it while it's lit up,
it stays lit
yeah i did it like once as a kid i mean i just killed this thing just for a see if it worked
and it did how did it make you feel i felt a little bad did you feel guilt i did yeah i just
killed this innocent little bug man i don't feel bad about killing bugs he's just living his life
and i just anyway it is kind of cool though you like smear the light
anyway yeah um that is true i just wondered where they've gone because it's you know it used to be
go outside you catch him where's the time gone i mean rosie catch rosie tries to catch him all
the time go have him down by the yeah we more had him in my old backyard but rosie loved trying to
go catch those things in the middle of the night man mega cute situation yep yep that sounds like a blast i want to be a part of that we just don't
have them over here maybe i'll release them into the wild okay really fuck with the ecosystem where
are you going to get the the base for this like where am i going to get like the the ones you're
releasing yeah i don't know i'm gonna order them. I'll probably order them from Fireflies.com.
Why did you say it like that?
I'm just imagining. No, he said it correctly.
He said it perfectly.
What is Fireflies.com? Look it up, Randy.
I like the idea of Dave having a Firefly
store and
the slogan is just, we'll leave the light on for you.
That's good. I like it.
But that implies you've got to kill it if you can leave the light on.
You don't have to kill it. You don't have to kill it.
Yeah, you don't have to kill it, dude.
Like, they'll just be flying around and it'll be light.
But if you leave the light on, like...
Your thirst for blood is just too much this morning.
Dude, you need to relax.
It's the Twitter algorithm.
I was gonna say, this is Elon's fault.
It's got in my head. It's corrupted my brain.
Yeah, have you seen anyone's guts
smeared across a highway this morning?
No, thankfully, but I'm sure it's coming.
Speaking of guts... Getting cr on man primal dylan are you gonna dylan shivery okay
dave what you've been a gracious host man i love your home it's nice and cool in here you offered
us water i did snacks even plenty of power outlets to plug our laptops into everything's
been great except for one glaring omission you just sit there right in front of my face and pour
up a cup of piping hot bing bong and not offer any to your boy i'm sorry what are you doing there
is some bing bong available if you're what are you doing is it over there right now yeah go get it
god i'm not gonna i'm not gonna roast player, no pun intended, because Dave's been more gracious about his home
than I could ever be about allowing you guys in my house to record.
If I was in your crib, would you offer me some bing bong?
That's all I want to know right now.
I said I've got sparkling water, filtered water.
I had high noons in there.
Yeah, let me just go get drunk, David.
I don't know what you fucking do.
Why didn't you order?
You didn't even offer me any unfiltered or i want unfiltered water i can
give you some i can give you some mid austin town i want to taste the minerals in your in your in
your lay can it's a hard water i'm thinking about dylan hard water hey speaking of uh water and
i saw an i saw an article okay some guy who went swimming in Lake LBJ last weekend,
which is where I was.
It's scary.
I went swimming there.
Wow.
He has passed away from an amoeba situation
that got in his body, and he's already dead.
It sounds like you're trying to kind of make this about you
when he's the guy who got sick and died.
I was literally just there.
I was probably in the lake at the same time he was.
That is very scary.
That's a thing that happens at lakes, man. My my theory is so i've been feeling a little bit down the last
few days my theory is i also caught this amoeba don't say it and i'm just different that's not
cool i'm just probably a listener i'm just built different like that time that will and i both got
food from the same place and he got really sick and i was just fine what place was that uh fresas
i want to say yes oh dude yeah that was that was bad yeah your boat was fine though no i don't
think fresas actually no i think that was the sweet green situation i think fresas was just
the unfortunate cast yeah like like sweet green is what got me sick. Fresas is what came up.
Okay.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, so shout out sweet green, though.
They did give me a couple free salads
when they found out that I got food poisoning,
but, like, it's kind of like...
Don't get sick again.
Yeah, do I want it?
Do I want it?
Unless they're tossing them, I don't care.
I don't holler at the romaine anymore.
You can't catch me ordering romaine lettuce in public. Remember when that tossed salad game was a sponsor of ours on touching base okay i do
it's the dumbest thing yeah we didn't really know what to do they want us to play it live
like on the show dude we were working out some kinks at that point like a charade style no one
sure it sucked it sucked it was a plastic like to go to go like food. It was a plastic, like, to-go, like, food container. No, it was a bowl.
With paper inside.
It was a salad bowl.
It's like the bowl you get the pre-cut watermelon from at H-E-B.
They got this construction paper, cut it into rectangles,
and wrote stuff on it.
It was probably the prototype.
It was probably the beta version.
I don't even blame us.
I blame, like, one exact person on the ad team
who came up with the concept
of how we do it and then it just did not play at all well i can't believe we were given something
like that to talk about and we just ended up like doing it in a mocking fashion we we did mock it
yeah i don't think they uh re-upped with us i don't think they i don't think they ended up
paying us for the i wouldn't i wouldn't have the segment it was just not good you ever seen the norm mcdonald ad read
for on the youtube podcast he did called it's for the man great i haven't made y'all watch that okay
i'll make you watch it later yeah they emailed us and they're like we were gonna pay you but
we listened to the ad reading y'all was making fun of it the whole time so we're just gonna keep
our money y'all pointed out all our flaws and how shitty this is and how anyone could make this at
their home i can't believe our show got canceled don't't I got to let go? I don't know. It feels kind of, it feels kind of like, I feel kind of guilty promoting
like a $20 salad bowl with pieces of paper in it.
Like that's just, that's just too much money.
Also.
That's how, you know, we stand behind our current sponsors.
Yeah.
Real ones.
Yeah.
I actually do.
I do too.
I actually do.
It's pretty good.
I'm very sponsored out today, by the way.
What are you wearing?
Shout out Academy row.
Shout out row back. Wow. It's like a, it's like a, it's like a, it's like a, it's i actually do it's pretty good i'm very sponsored out today by the
way what are you wearing shout out academy row shout out row back wow if someone were to purchase
that row back like would they use a code or something 20 i believe back or 20 one time use
code so if you're gonna do that low tech oh for like 20 off i get you a wilmonds polo yeah you
can get over the weekend i got invited to a UT game this weekend,
and I was thinking about wearing my Wilmot's Polo
because it's moisture-wicking and comfortable,
but then I was like, I'm not going.
I get it.
Have you seen the slogan UT is running with?
Embrace the hate?
They're saying, hashtag, just put it in rice.
I don't.
Because they're playing rice.
It's just kind of...
That's good.
...in my opinion.
I kind of like that.
Anyway, man.
What exactly? The football into the end zone?
That's typically how touchdowns are scored, Randy.
Actually, the only way.
I'm sure you didn't know that. Turn it up.
I did know that. And Fireflies.com
is a booking agency in Europe
and Hungary and Egypt.
Mmm, hungry.
Mmm.
Mmm. Good start.
I think we're on fire right now.
I'm just kind of vibing on Dave's couch
if I'm being honest.
Do you like what I've done with the TV?
I think I might have missed
a conversation as to why you guys ripped
the TV off the wall after yesterday's episode.
So, we got a new TV
and we just haven't swapped it out
because it hasn't been necessary but a couple nights ago like a bulb blew on the old one oh
and so like i had the double ways here so i was like let's take it down so we took it down do you
think about putting like a firefly in there or anything no i that's actually not a terrible idea
i'd have to kill it and i'm not as bloodthirsty as dylan so um anyway it turns
out the brackets i was very unfamiliar with and i didn't feel comfortable hanging the tv myself so
we're just gonna try to figure it out hopefully it gets up today because uh there's one member
of my house the youngest member who is not real happy about it yes i'm talking about my dog who
loves television.
I thought you just got angry or something.
You just wanted to break something. Yeah, Rangers blew another save last night,
so I just ripped it off. Did you see the
Profar news? No.
He got
cut or signed or something.
I was getting tagged in a lot of stuff.
I was getting tagged in a lot of stuff about
Yerickson Profar.
Did he get waved ooh Rocky's released Yerickson Profar
damn
do you think before they released him
the person that did it was like oh I'm gonna release
probably not man that's a weird thing
they're professionals that's part of their job
I don't feel like they do that but maybe they did
that's kind of funny
dude they should start calling him Yerickson Minorfar
that's good he's still a pro I guess I feel like they do that. But maybe they do. That's kind of funny. Dude, they should start calling him Eurekson Minorfar.
That's good.
He's not a... He's still a pro, I guess.
I think he got...
He got a little bit of a bag.
Amateurfar?
That's doing too much.
We should just move on.
Hey, the Washed FC training top
is still available for pre-sale
at washedmedia.shop.
Go make that happen.
Obviously, we just killed it on Patreon
this week from Dave's couch.
We just mobbed.
The first episode we did on Patreon this week was exactly five minutes from the comfort of a 90 degree studio
and then we did listener voicemails yesterday that um dropped today so go enjoy those if you
have a voicemail you'd like to leave us please do 888-618-4422 i would like to apologize uh as it
is thursday and i cannot do will's five-star review of the week as it is thursday and that
drops on only Wednesdays.
So it's simply not happening.
Go leave one, and maybe next week I'll read a couple.
But before we get into today's topics, let's hear from our friends over at FitBod.
I'm not the same person I was at the start of the year.
I'm different.
Really?
You actually complimented me on my physique recently, Dylan.
You're looking spelt.
Yeah, I've been looking at some old photos of myself, like pre-FitB i'm like uh what was i doing fit pod is a great app uh whether you know
you're advanced or a beginner it'll tailor your exercises exactly for you know the results you
want to achieve and also will tailor them for your workout environment if you're working out at home
with bands or just body weight stuff or if you have all the equipment available to you at a gym it's pretty fantastic why would you use
like a printed out map from like map quest when you could just like use an app that just suits
everything up for you i don't think anyone's using map quest anymore yeah yeah like i just
don't get why you would print out those directions and do that kind of stuff when you could just have
out all the information right in front of you good call you. You know what I mean? You know what I mean?
Just go make it happen.
FitBot creates the workouts based on your personal goals,
your experience, the available equipment, and more.
You're sitting there and you're like,
I don't have any available equipment.
Guess what?
Yes, you do.
You got body weight.
Yeah.
You got body weight.
You can get a killer workout with body weight.
You got a body.
You got weight.
Great point.
Unless you're on the moon, then it's different.
Dave moves weight.
I don't think FitBod works on the moon.
You don't really know that.
It probably does.
We'll have to talk to them.
We'll have to talk to them about that.
I don't want to tell our listeners anything that's not true.
Yeah, great point.
But if you want to do body weight exercises on the moon, you can do so.
But I would recommend just working out with FitBod on Earth.
Yeah, probably just stick to the Earth workouts. they got powerful technology that understands strength training ability it
studies your past workouts it adapts to your available gym equipment and it keeps gym sessions
fun and uh fresh by just mixing up your workouts you can even track your achievements you can learn
new exercises they've got over a thousand exercise demonstration videos so wherever you are in your
fitness journey make the most out of every workout with fit bod get 25 off your subscription at fitbod.me slash steam
that's f-i-t-b-o-d dot m-e slash steam get my vocal cords warmed up for this next segment
that's typically something you want to do before the pod but yeah yeah there's there's a
speaking warm-up and then there's a you know harmonious one well since you're the drug guy
do you want to explain what's going on yeah so i'm trying to get into this new drug it's called uh
xylosine or call or trank i don't think you should get into this trank is what it's called
no this is actually this is not a funny story all, but it does hit close to home,
so we have to talk about it for that reason,
also because it's a zombie drug.
It's a flesh-eating zombie drug.
I have several questions.
Yeah, go ahead, Will.
Well, does it actually eat your flesh?
Because if you control F, the word flesh,
in all the news reporting surrounding this,
you just don't see much about it.
It's a good question.
There's nothing in this story about it eating flesh
other than the headline.
They called the zombie drug,
and the first line is,
xylosine, the flesh-eating drug
also known under the street name Trank,
has been discovered in Central Texas.
But that's the only mention of it eating flesh.
I don't really know.
The only drug that turns me into a zombie
is high dudes, baby.
Really?
Yeah.
Drop the bag.
You just walk around trying to eat people?
Or what happened?
No, I just kind of look like a zombie.
More of like a Weekend at Bernie's style zombie.
Did the high school hunks just roll up to your crib?
Oh, shit.
Oh, dude, that guy's got a treadmill in the bed of his truck,
and it says no fat bitches on the back of his truck.
Did you see that?
Shut up.
What?
In a lawnmower.
Did you see that?
Oh, I think it's about to be junk pickup.
So like junk removal day.
I'm not kidding when I say the entire width of the bed of his truck said no fat bitches.
That's a little aggressive.
What the hell is that guy doing?
That was a grown man.
Look, he likes what he likes.
He's letting people know.
He had the treadmill in the truck too.
He means it. He's bringing it to his girl. Like check the truck babe that's jacked up man can we record
here every day dave just for like the the bonus content we get from neighbors and we pay a pretty
good penny for that office that's true but i'm down to do one one day a week here coffee friday
at dave's have you seen those bumper stickers that are popular now that says,
don't park too close, I'm thick?
No.
It's not a good one either.
I've seen them a few times.
Austin, Texas has a major parking spot width problem, in my humble opinion.
I agree with that.
I think cars are just getting bigger.
Okay, well, it's time to repaint some lines.
I agree.
We know you do. We know you do.
We know you do.
Repaint.
Yeah.
Okay.
Not intake.
Speaking of, some of this has cocaine in it, also heroin and fentanyl.
So through my research, they use Trank to amplify the effects of certain drugs.
Oh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like a cheap way of doing it.
They better keep trank out of
my crank why would you put it in your crank i don't know i'm just saying they better do that
if you're if you're they use this for animals like it's to it's to like so like you know how
like the homie randy just got his teeth cleaned and stuff like they might have used some xylosine
on our man over here and by man i mean dog so it does have a practical like medical use it does yeah yeah you know sally uses fentanyl
like every day i'm not her personally but like with her patients i know the fentanyl is is a
useful dude you can't say that a useful pain management medication yes i do know that
people abuse it though or they don't realize that they're taking it because it's like mixed in with coke exactly
it's much stronger than coke most of what i know about uh that's good dude that's so good dude
yeah most of what i know about welcome to my house fentanyl's from euphoria my house yeah me too
oh dude there's ted what's up bro i don't know him it's in your where do you buy a sticker
that big that says no fat how big was it it's custo as big as you could make it
fuck like it was as big as the width of his truck no fat bitches no fat bitches all right do we get
it like damn what do you think that guy would do if he saw a photo of me when I was like 26?
He would have been like, this fat bitch needs to get out of my fucking phone.
Look at this fat bitch.
Not for me.
Couldn't be me.
Nah, Will's fat, dog.
That's so aggressive to just take that around town.
Do we need to be more scared of the serial killer that's still on the loose in Austin, Texas?
Or Trank?
Well, just don't do random drugs that you don't know.
Test your drugs.
If you don't know what they are. If you do random drugs that you don't know. Test your drugs.
If you're doing drugs, test them.
What if I work at a frat blog and someone leaves a blue pill that's easily identifiable on a table somewhere?
Can I take that?
Then you should do it.
As long as there's no Trank mix.
Randy took the red pill.
Are you a red pill guy, Randy?
Are you on the subreddit all the time?
All the time.
What's your Reddit name?
It's Trump Boy Swag.
That's not a good name.
Trump Boy Swag.
I don't hate it.
Here's a scary fentanyl statistic for you.
I don't want it.
From 2019 to 2022, accidental fentanyl-related deaths increased tenfold from 22
to 245.
This year, however, in 2023,
they're expecting almost
500 fentanyl-related deaths.
Cool story, bro.
This is
serious. People are dying, David.
They just yammed on you. People are fucking
dying. Are you going to make a joke out of it?
Maybe I'll shut up. Yeah, I wish just saying. Oh, maybe I'll shut up.
Yeah, I wish you would.
Hey, don't do weird drugs, man.
Test your drugs.
No, fentanyl.
Dude, fentanyl scares the shit out of me.
It scares the shit out of me for numerous reasons.
And most of that is because I have a kid now.
And I'm scared that he's going to do this at some point.
And it just scares the living shit out of me.
It's so bad.
What was the drug in our day, Will?
In your day, Dylan? You know Dylan, that people were scared about?
It was all like, ooh, that's the one.
Heroin?
I feel like it was ecstasy.
I remember there being a 60 Minutes.
It was like, if you do MDMA, ecstasy, you will get holes in your brain.
I was like, oh, fuck.
Well, I'm not doing that.
It turns out you have to do that a lot.
And it turns out MDMA, from what I've been told, is pretty dope.
Don't promote that.
Don't promote drugs, David.
Just test your drugs.
This is an anti-drug podcast.
Is it not dope, Randy?
You've probably done it.
You're young.
I have not done it, but I know plenty of people that have.
And from what I've been told, pretty dope.
Yeah, I'm out the game.
Look at you dokers.
I'm out the game.
There's no hope with dope
I don't do shit like that
I'm fucking that shit
Okay
Doper
Look at you, you doper
You are kind of a doper
You're probably high right now
Look at you
Are you high?
Look at his pupils, dude
I've got microdose
Of some stuff
You can't microdose Trank
And you definitely
Randy microdoses Crank.
Yeah.
There you go.
You're waiting for it.
Just like a little bit.
The takeaway here is just be careful, people.
Don't do weird drugs that you don't know about.
Test your drugs.
Or just don't do them, David.
How about that?
Well, that too.
But you know, the kids are going to do drugs.
No one's walking around with a test kit.
Yeah, they are. They are. That's the thing. Yeah, they are, dude. Really? too but you know the kids are gonna do drugs we tried walking around with a test kit yeah yeah
they are that's the thing yeah they are dude really how do you get a drug test kit like a
how do you test how do you test your cocaine purity dylan do i have a place that you can go
visit yes it's called drug test kit.com use promo code dorn for off. Can you test your cocaine for its cocaine content?
I think so.
That's a weird way to put it.
Now Dylan's really interested.
Yes, you can.
I've never done cocaine in my life.
I want people to be safe.
Nothing's going up this nose except for
salt water and
antihistamine spray.
Oxygen too
and also various scents.
Maybe a Glade plug-in.
Yeah.
You know I'll be putting my nose in whiskey snifters.
Just out here.
Where's your nose been?
Yeah, dog.
Let me smell your nose right now, dude.
You want to smell my nose?
Let me smell your nose.
Let me see where it's been.
I don't think so, man.
It's almost the season.
Oh, acerola eating season?
Can you eat acerola cherries, or can you only drink the Vizzys?
What was that from?
Oh, that was Vizzy.
Yeah.
Come on, David.
Sorry, it's been a while.
Miss y'all.
I might drink a couple Vizzys this weekend.
Facts?
I don't know.
All right.
I don't know.
If it's available.
I might drink. I might use my two- limit this week look at the segue he's looking at this guy he's evolving he already wants
to get out of here he's like forcing in segways so we can leave dylan's growth as a podcaster
it's just been great to see you over the last couple days two per week that's the rule right
well i don't i gotta play the Do I got to play the video?
Yeah, will you play the video of Ted Cruz being
an absolute fucking ruthless savage?
I mean, he is a savage.
I didn't know he was built like that.
He does not care. Give me a sec here.
After seeing him drink that beer and throw that cap,
he forever has my vote.
The way he tosses the cap in this video,
you have to, okay, you're going to hear the audio in a sec,
but you have to also watch the video.
If you haven't seen the video already, please just go search Ted Cruz beer on Twitter.
Frankly, they can kiss my ass.
Well, I got to tell you, if they want us to drink two beers a week, frankly, they can kiss my ass.
Like, what, what?
Dave, stop playing the video.
It's hard to move.
Why are they so upset? Why is he so upset right now?
Dude, it's because Biden's alcohol czar warns new guidance could be only two beers a week.
Keep in mind, this is not going to have any bearing on how much you drink.
This is only like an advisory.
So like your doctor might say, how much, you know, when you go in and say, how much you drinking? No, like an advisory so like your doctor might say how much you know
when you go in say how much you drinking no but you know you lie well you know the left wants you
to just drink two a week dave that's what i've been i've been told that i'm not gonna do that
you can kiss my butt talk about outrage over just no freaking reason at all like just inventing
reasons to be upset uh worth noting he's wearing what appears to be a um fishing shirt maybe a
columbia or a magellan
fishing shirt do you think he's doing a lot of like offshore fishing ted cruz probably not i
don't think so either cancun decent point he was going to cabo during the freeze oh just to drop
his daughter off though i was dropping her off that's all i got we don't have so much beer in
one week like i just need one single one yeah that's all you know why would i double so much
beer why would i double what i've been drinking it's crazy you play your beer card uh and what's
next they're gonna tell us one one transaction of pizza a week oh man dude if he knew about the pizza initiative he would be furious
dude they hate this Texas Texas beer in the video too I believe it's a shiner it looks like a shiner
it's giving shiner it is shiner is totally fine it's not I like it it's totally fine like it's
not gonna knock your socks off like if I'm at a wedding if I'm at a wedding and like they have
like very like normal beer selections and shiner is one of them it's enough to make me go
no i'm just do a bud light like i i consider it but like well yeah kid rock drinks it now so i
drink it oh good point yeah bawa to ball yeah that's one of his songs he's the bull god yep gotta tell you a text i just got i told you
guys about the tv it got a note from uh the daycare where my son goes and it says roads told
us all about his tv that quote daddy broke because he threw it because he wanted to hang a newer big
one on the wall he's claiming that i threw the TV, which is not what happened.
I heard you threw it too.
That's exactly how it happened.
It's a big TV.
These teachers think I'm a joke.
How many words is our man saying these days?
That's crazy. That's impressive.
There's no way he put it together that coherently.
That he threw the TV. Why'd you throw it for him?
I don't know.
I mean, honestly, it's the same size TV, right? Rose got that completely wrong. You were there the TV. Why'd you throw it, fool? I don't know.
I mean, honestly,
it's the same size TV, right?
Rhodes got that completely wrong.
You were there.
You helped me take it off. Hey, check the facts, Rhodes.
Yeah, what are you doing, man?
It's right down the street.
You want to go confront my son?
Hey, man, we got to talk this out.
Hey, is this true?
What's this?
Why'd he throw you under the bus?
I don't know, man.
We had a great morning.
He put you on Front Street. We watched Bluey on my laptop.
That's so depressing.
It's really depressing.
All he could do, he goes,
where's the TV? I'm like, we've been over this
like a hundred times.
He wants answers, man.
I'll be honest, dude. You got to get this kid a TV.
I know.
He wants to watch Bluey on 65 inches, fool.
He's like, uh, this is pretty
little baller.
What's his problem?
His standards are way too high.
God, I cannot
imagine drinking more than two beers per week.
Are there people really doing that?
And by the way, folks, test your beer.
Yeah, make sure to test your beer. Make sure there's no
trank in it. Don't trank the beer, bro.
They're blaming the Mediterranean diet.
Mediterranean diets don't.
I know.
That's essentially what I do.
I don't do it intentionally or anything,
but based on this pescatarian grind that I've been on,
it falls very squarely into the Mediterranean shit.
Why do they got to come after me, dude?
I guess I am a liberal left cock, you know?
I still can't believe i was warning warning
people about fentanyl and dave hit me with a cool story bro at the end of it god people go do
fentanyl now because they're probably not gonna go are you offended he complimented your story
yeah and he called you his bro i just feel like it was a little uh you guys brothers for life
that's true for life david have you ever told a doctor the real amount of drinks you have in one week?
Yeah. I did it one time and he looked at me
and he said, you don't have to tell me this.
He's like, hey man, no one's actually honest.
You know that, right?
I kind of wanted to do it just as a test
to see what he would actually react when I told him how many.
Somewhere between 40 and 50.
Like, oh.
I told him 25.
I was like, probably 25.
And he was like, well, he's like,
can you cut it back to four?
He was like, how many nights do you drink?
And I was like, two.
I absolutely get annihilated two nights a week.
That's kind of what I was doing at that age.
I was like 23.
Yeah, I was going out and drinking 12 drinks.
No, Doc, it's fine.
I'm only blacking out like two days a week.
It's not that big of a deal.
But I mean, you can put down a lot of light beers
at the age of 23.
Yeah, you absolutely can.
And it's like, yeah, like 12 light beers
at the age of 23 over a day of watching college football
ain't that much.
You can drink 10 vodka sodas in a day,
and it's like not a huge deal if you spread it out.
Dude, the high
noons, I think I drank
like 11 on Saturday.
This is the third time you brought
them up, David. They're not a sponsor.
Not yet, but they're really drinkable.
After spring break, I got sick
and I went to the Purdue
Health Center and they asked,
in the past two weeks, how many? And they said,
and we know that last week was spring break so you can be honest i'm like oh okay then like 400 i was like it's
probably like in the 60s or 70s yeah but you have the you have the added benefit of being able to
like reduce the amount of drinks that you tell them because all your drinks are 25 ounces i told
y'all that it's true yeah all your drinks are novelty you know i told y'all that during spiff
during spiff G'day,
Shitty had 50 beers in one day.
I believe that Shitty was a big guy.
It's a true story.
I'm not kidding when I say this.
Will you write a version of this
and tell the story of Shitty drinking 50 beers in Spiff G'day?
It ended with a teabag that night, too.
Cheeser got teabagged.
I was going to say, how many did Cheeser have?
Cheeser was passed out, and he got teabagged by Shitty when he was 50 cheeser have cheeser was passed out and he got teabagged by shitty when he was 50 beers deep that's a true story i made it
i made a toad have uh toad was there toad can put him back to a big fella toad is a large man
so i saw toad at the uh amoeba lake last weekend you know there's probably an actual name for i
think it's lbj right like? Lake LBJ. Yeah.
Lyndon B. Johnson.
LBJ, not E-L-B-J.
Oh, I was so confused. I was like, I know that there's like a lot of like, you know, Hispanic heritage in Texas.
So like who?
Lyndon Baines Johnson.
You sure it's Baines?
Yeah.
Did y'all see?
Lyndon, dude.
Can you imagine? Hey, dude, I'm'm linden you think it's brad what do
you think hey linden yeah that's a weird pleasure to meet you okay uh texas state uh yeah great to
meet you you're gonna be president soon jfk he's assassinated it's's not good. And LBJ took over. He was called Lackin.
In the plane.
That's true.
He was sworn in.
Sworn in.
Hey, did you see the Errors Tour is going to be released in an IMAX on October 13th?
I would absolutely go to that.
I'm going to buy you a ticket to the football game.
I'm going to stay and watch that afterward.
Yeah, I got an email today from Team Taylor.
ACC game.
And they were letting me know that I could pre-order some tickets.
Oh, yeah.
I'll pre-order some tickets oh yeah i'll pre-order some tickets yeah i to be honest like sally sally wants to run back the
heiress to her when she does more dates in the united states next year i do too i told her i
was like sally i don't like you you can go do this with other people but like i'm not going again
i had a really good experience the first time i don't think i need to run it back i do only because
now i know even though I had the set list,
now I know what I can skip.
And there's not a lot I want to skip,
but like,
I want to be there for reputation.
I want to be there for lover.
Dude, I got a big reputation.
1989.
Can I read the subject line of a spam email I just got?
Yeah.
Barron Trump favored to be drafted by New York Knicks,
according to odds makers.
There's no way that's right. It's like a gambling site.
That would be so sick.
Isn't he like 15?
Does he even play basketball?
We don't know.
Being 6'9", it's not enough.
No.
He's not even 6'9".
He's 6'7".
Which means he's really 6'5".
I'm probably just going to delete this email.
No, keep it.
Will you forward it to me?
No, he's a soccer guy, though.
He's too tall for soccer.
No, he's not. Tell Peter Crouch that, dude.
I don't know who that is. Okay, get him on the phone.
He's like the tallest soccer player ever. He could play goalie. I feel like
we're cooking right now. Or keeper.
We're absolutely cooking.
Shut up, dude.
Okay. I do a podcast. I can't
shut up.
Let's do a new segment. Let's do a new segment. Let's see how long we can be silent for.
Cool story, bro.
Dude, it's mad.
It's mad quiet in here.
Dude, it gets pretty zen
in this place, Dave.
I like to come here and meditate.
Can you make me a copy of your key?
You made me a cup of bing ball?
You want some? Also, I got some
tuna. Might do a tuna melt for the second day in a row.
Can I have some tuna and coffee? They pair well
together. Sometimes I sprinkle a little tuna in my
coffee. Please don't do that. Let's have a
tuna salad off.
Y'all can't fuck with my tuna. You'll beat me.
I'll lose. I'm new to the game, bro.
I'm just learning the ropes. My shit's gangster.
Your fucking shit's not gangster.
Is it crazy I haven't gotten into tinned fish yet?
How many have you gotten into?
Like six or seven?
I'm fucking good, Dave.
That was good, dog.
I got a dab from Dave.
Yeah, it was a sympathy dab.
He didn't lean over to dab you You leaned over to dab him
That's a big difference
He fucking reached out though
Big difference
Wait what's the thing
You're not into tuna
Tinned fish
People really like that
It's like having a whole moment right now
I think people just call it can
I mean I don't know what he meant But you can say whatever you want you're splitting hairs can tuna
it's a thing no it's different dylan i'm not talking about people are just sitting around
eating cans of tuna together people do tinned fish are little tins where they have like the whole
fish and you'd like eat it like sardines and yeah i give those mackerel randy gets those once a week
return to the matter salt low low salt, no added salt.
Make sure you do that. Why? You don't want your dog having too
much. He's got the he had the thing back in the day. So we
gotta watch the salt intake. Yeah. Why do they pack? So I
drink a gallon of soy sauce one time.
There's a lot of salt. So you survive clearly. What did you
say? Why do they pack sardines in so tight in those little tins?
I don't know.
Efficient?
It's just like a saying.
It's efficient.
Like sardines in here.
Anyway.
You see that moon last night?
Shut up.
We're not doing that yet.
Let's hear from our friends over at Squarespace.
Today's podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.
I love Squarespace. I love Squarespace.
You love Squarespace more than anyone I know.
It's almost annoying how much you love Squarespace.
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That's a good deal, man.
Think about that.
Think about that.
I'm thinking about it now.
I love it.
I love websites.
Make a domain, dude.
What's your domain?
Fireflies.com.
That's good.
Ready to take them.
Oh, darn it.
That's good.
How do you know?
I told you. I had them look it up. It's a hotel booking thing for them. Oh, darn it. That's good. How do you know? I told you.
I had them look it up.
It's a hotel booking thing for like Budapest and Egypt.
I assigned them a task.
Yes, I saw that.
Oh.
Dude, you would not believe your eyes.
Are we done with the read?
You saw 10,000 fireflies?
If 10 million fireflies lit up the world as I fell asleep.
I'm surprised you're a firefly guy and not a lightning bug.
I'll be honest.
I'll be totally honest with you guys right now.
We didn't have any fireflies growing up.
Dude, it seems like that's prime
real estate for them.
It wasn't a thing for us, man.
Winters were too bad. They just didn't survive.
I don't know, dude. I was just out there catching grasshoppers
like a real G.
Dave, I don't see them anymore anymore you're right about that shit yeah it's something it's like the bees man they're see i'm on a different wave right now i'm seeing i see i see him still dog
climate change why don't you invite me to come through check out them fireflies
the only time i see them is in my dreams
i dream about bugs.
Cool story, bro.
I'm done.
I'm going to go back to my bedroom.
And do what?
Just fucking think about what just happened.
Actually, can you just hook the microphone up via Bluetooth
and go record from your bed remotely?
Let's go record in your bed.
I've recorded in that bedroom.
Let's go to today's bed.
When I had COVID.
Remember COVID-19?
I had the
sock tonight yeah i remember covid 19
cool story bro i got your ass let me do it all right it's time boys i'm so excited for what
we're about to do yeah it's time this segment's called the golden shower we we truly do love
reality television as a podcast uh One of our first things we ever
covered as a podcast was The Bachelor.
Actually, The Bachelorette.
It was JoJo's season.
I didn't realize it at the time, but she would go
down as a Mount Rushmore Bachelor
person. She's on top. She's the goat.
I still follow JoJo. I don't know if she's the goat.
I mean, from a looks
perspective, obviously, JoJo
has got goat stuff going on. But from a character perspective, there, JoJo... Is JoJo. He's got goat stuff going on.
But from a character perspective,
there's probably some other goats out there as well.
Okay.
Oh, like Jack Stone?
The stone man.
What's he up to?
We need to check in on him.
He's moving real estate, man.
But we've been blessed, boys.
We've been blessed.
Wednesdays are about to change, dude.
It's called the Golden Bachelor.
Actually, maybe they just's called the Golden Bachelor.
Actually, maybe they just released the lineup on Wednesday.
Maybe they're actually going to air these on a normal Monday
given The Bachelor's history.
The Golden Bachelor is going to
feature our man Gary Turner.
Gary.
Spelled like Jerry, though, with a G.
I had to do my research to figure out how
this was pronounced. It is pronounced Gary.
Don't like it.
I'm not a big fan of it either.
I got to say, though, now that they've revealed this cast,
I can confirm that there's some absolute baddies
that are going to be on the 60-plus batch.
That's an understatement.
I can already tell you who is going to be causing the drama.
I will let April ruin my life.
Leslie, the fitness instructor, is going to be
stirring the pot. Really?
Oh, yeah.
I think low-key, one of my favorite parts about this is
all their names.
They're all just old school names. April.
Ellen. Edith. Judith.
Or Edith.
Is it Joan?
Love it.
There are so many hot old women on this show i'm so
excited about it uh who's who's your who's your first impression rose going to boys oh that's a
good one i have my first impression rose are you ready for this i've scoured the entire cast oh i
know i know mine and it's not close for me if you give your first impression, Rose, to my first impression, it's on site.
Hey, Joan.
Oh.
No.
She's mine.
Joan?
Joan, she's mine.
I just claimed her, dude. She's mine.
She has four kids and two grandkids.
She's looking for love.
She lost her husband to pancreatic cancer,
which is just incredibly sad
and something I don't think they needed
to put in the bio on ABC.
Yeah, they didn't have to give us the
specific
diagnosis. But she does enjoy... Her fun fact is
that she does enjoy dancing after a couple glasses
of wine. Ooh, that's crazy. Who doesn't?
Do you think she's ever grinded?
Do you think Joan has ever grinded before? Are you kidding?
She probably invented grinding.
Where's Joan? She puts off grinded
on her college son's friend
at a wedding or something.
You think she throws it in a circle?
My first impression, Rose,
since it can't go to Joan,
and just because it's your mom's name,
there's no correlation whatsoever.
Nancy, 60 years old,
is getting my first impression, Rose.
She's kind of bad.
Not kind of bad. She's real bad.
She's a young 60
it appears bruce springsteen stan if nancy doesn't get a 101 date featuring a private concert from
the boss it'd be a darn shame i don't think that's gonna i don't think the boss i don't
think the bachelor has that kind of pull anymore i don't know guys i got bad news
you may never see me again because my first impression rose goes to edith tell us about
edith she's a hopeless romantic looking for a partner with whom to share all the joys of life
family is everything for edith and there's nothing she loves more than spending time with her kids
and grandkids edith works as a realtor dylan and is extremely proud of opening her own business
later in life she says it's never too late to do whatever you want to do
when she's not working or hanging with family edith loves golfing salsa dancing and traveling
uh i like salsa dancing too don't get too full on it david salsa dancing salsa dancing he does it
every every weekend at matt's whole rancho dog that's true why do you think that the the couch
was pushed back because i because you're practicing oh
yeah i moved the furniture we should also point out that uh matt james's mother is one of the uh
so which one is she patty 70 oh i just okay she looked familiar actually uh she's an avid sailor
okay she loves her body glitter and encourages you to do the same are you guys i would put if
i would let patty smear body glitter all over your boy if don't say smear patty rolls up and
she's got some body glitter like we're getting freaky with it don't say patty smeared she can
put all over me dave have we talked about april april looks like she's gonna be like a lightning
bug uh-huh just like that yeah Don't smile at me like that.
You think her last name is Mills?
Isn't that Matt James' mom?
Yeah.
That's crazy.
She could have a different last name than her son.
Our oldest contestant, I believe,
is our friend Sandra,
who's a retired executive assistant.
How old are we talking?
75 years old.
That's a bag of bones.
She looks great, though.
She looks young. She looks though. She looks young.
She looks young. Let it go.
She's very proud of her
high credit score.
I get it. She says anything
by Luther Vandross puts her in the mood.
And
her final fun fact is
that she has 32 favorite NFL teams.
She loves them all.
I sort of love them all. She wears the Rob Lowe NFL hat to the game. Whose favorite NFL teams. She loves them all. I sort of love them all.
She wears the Rob Lowe NFL hat to the game. What?
Whose favorite NFL team is all of them?
So Susan, 66, says that she dreams of having lunch with Kris Jenner.
And that's interesting because she looks exactly like Kris Jenner.
That's probably why she has that dream.
I was going to say, she looks like she might, I don't know,
have her daughter's sex tape she has that dream. I was going to say, she looks like she might, I don't know, have her daughter's
sex tape released
for Family Fortune.
Most likely to have your daughter's sex tape released
for Fame and Fortune.
Susan 66.
She's our sex tape player of the week.
Can I make one last note about 75-year-old Sandra?
Yes.
She won on Wheel of Fortune one time.
No shit.
That's cool. She's on her gang shit i wonder what she uh what phrase she completed i bet you do yeah i do freaking pervert this is crazy dude
susan loves eating leftovers from the night before she's fucking crazy like that wow does
she have a keg in the closet too we have a lot in common like she does not waste food and that is a very cool thing peggy's kind of bad too 69
it's her age oh not what you want no peggy though she's a go-karting enthusiast david
these women are so old like one of them one of them them said that her first concert was in 1964.
That's so long ago.
Wow.
Were you alive then?
No, I was born in the 80s.
Thank you.
Yeah, I got you.
Just like you were.
What's a honey bear cheerleader, Randy?
What are the Chicago honey bears?
Oh, there used to be the...
Chicago doesn't have any cheerleaders anymore.
It's like the Miami Dolphins cheerleaders and stuff.
They used to have cheerleaders back in the day,
but they don't anymore. Okay. Randy, what did you...
So what the fuck is a honey bear? What are the honey bears?
I was saying don't rub your mic with your
finger. I was trying to point that out.
Don't tell me what to not do
with my mic. Okay, I didn't realize that.
I thought you were slacking me.
He caught you slacking?
Who's most likely to get too drunk night one?
Oh, dude, it's...
Oh, we got a local here.
Austin, Texas.
Hey, Renee's fun fact is that
she doesn't enjoy fishy-tasting fish.
Okay, that kind of limits things.
What about 10 fish?
What about 9?
Kathy's from Austin.
She's a retired educational consultant
till i got bad news dude i think my most likely to get too drunk tonight on night one is nancy
yeah she looks like she can put back some glasses she's a lush yeah i can you can just kind of tell
it's leslie or april dude look at those she's gonna interrupt the conversation with kathy
april's gonna call someone a c word what kind of shit do you talk when you're in your 70s like what do you say to some girl that
she crosses you i don't know i'm not in my 70s i don't have a lot of women crossing me at this
point i don't know why it was ted kers we do have another 75 year old so there is a tie for the
oldest uh contestant what's her name uh her name is Pamela. She's a retired salon owner,
have to say.
She's got some beautiful hair.
She loves a backyard barbecue.
She can't get enough
Judge Judy in her life,
and she likes to cuddle.
I'll cuddle up with her.
She's described as being vivacious.
Just say it.
Dave, you're vivacious too.
Thanks, man.
Are we omitting our friend Gary from the conversation?
Because, I mean, this guy's a problem.
He's often busy hosting barbecues, playing pickleball,
and cheering for his favorite Chicago sports team.
So, I mean, this guy's right in your wheelhouse, Randy.
Well, he's not going to work with, what's her name,
who just celebrates all of the teams.
He likes to spend time with friends and family at restaurants and local haunts april's kind of
bad vampire local haunts dude he loves a local haunt dude this guy just loves dive bars at
shut out texas dives dude i saw gary at nickel city one time just fucking gassing beers he looks too good to be a guy hanging out
in local haunts he definitely hangs out in the Viagra Triangle dude the fancy sweets is about
to be a situation you think Gary's gonna bust it wide open I do I do yeah do you think they have
like do you think they have like beds that like help you get out of them with the
railing on it?
There's a defibrillator.
They have the chair that goes up the stairs.
Oh,
come on,
man.
What am I going to slip on the stopping wet driveway and shatter her leg?
Why die?
Are they going to do entrances like that?
They have to,
right?
I guess you don't need,
nevermind. I was gonna make, that was gonna be crude. What were you going to make anances like that? They have to, right? I guess you don't need... Never mind.
That was going to be crude.
What?
Were you going to make an erectile dysfunction joke?
No, I was going to talk about how you...
Never mind.
They're post-menopausal.
Just something along...
Were you going to make a condom joke?
Were you talking about condoms, my man?
No.
Why were we going to do that?
I don't think...
No, I don't think Chad from The Bachelor
was going to use a condom either way.
I don't know if it was a priority for them.
That guy's a total scumbag.
He had sex in a car outside of Chris Harrison's house.
Yeah, while filming, making a porn.
That's so unnecessary.
Can you imagine if you were sitting in your house
and a reality star was just outside
spite-banging someone?
That's so uncool.
I hope that's not available on the internet right now yeah I don't need to see that you know
ready Harrison's house I would have liked to pull it up on the TV but you
ripped it off the wall through it you break it Chris Harrison lives down in
Barton Creek odds you'll go from a porno in front of his house we're not gonna do
that odds though this guy doesn't like content. One in a trillion. Okay.
All right.
Randy wants it.
Give it to Randy.
Give it to Randy.
Randy's got less to lose. All right.
Let's do one in a trillion.
Quick.
One, two, three.
$62 million.
Oh.
Wait, does it add up?
Does it add up?
I don't think so.
It's so dumb.
Dude, I think it added up.
Oh, shit, I got to do it.
Oh, dude, Dorn Welch on another bed.
He would not film a porn in a car in front of Chris Harrison's home.
Dude, Dorn's so soft, he won't even have sex in front of Chris Harrison's house in Barton Creek.
Would that be good or bad for our business, like the exposure-wise?
Like you exposing yourself on camera?
Yeah.
Probably, I have to think good.
Probably good, huh?
Yeah, I think it's a net positive overall.
For you guys.
There are definitely certain things that I know would work
in order to promote, like, washed media,
but it's just how shameless can we be, you know?
Right.
Yeah.
Right, yeah.
What if Chris Harrison came out of his home?
Oh.
He seemed pretty happy on the flight to Kentucky Derby
with his wife.
Whenever he comes outside and just starts knocking on the window,
like, hey, is that Dorn?
What's your deal?
What a guy.
I know you guys want to get cute with me, but come on.
Come on.
Chris Harrison was
rocking on his way
to the Kentucky Derby on the flight.
That checks out.
Yeah.
They were clean as hell, though.
Not like the figurative clean as a substitute for the word good looking.
They just looked like they were fresh out the box.
He just got new gator boots at Decova's.
With the pimped out Gucci suit, too?
I don't know.
He did?
Yeah.
Wow.
I like that we're just doxing Chris Harrison.
We're saying where he lives. We're talking about where he shops.
Gordo works at Decova's and he texted
us and told us. That's cool, man.
Is it time for me to get cowboy boots?
Great addition to the pod.
Stop talking about it and just
fucking do it. What is this? What am I supposed
to wear cowboy boots with? Jeans?
Mugsy jeans.
This is unprecedented. Tinky break in my own home.
That's fair. Play the
tinky break music.
Actually,
while Dave's gone, let's just talk
about some of my favorite sponsors we currently have.
I'm talking about Bird Dogs, baby. I like them so much
that I've actually taken their Yeti-style
water bottle, and I've just been using it
all the time. I've noticed that, actually.
It's huge, and I like it. It has a really nice rubber top on it and if you go buy bird dogs guess what
it comes with a free uh yeti style rambler tumbler whatever you call yas king yas king
yas king um what i don't know what we can say about bird dogs that we haven't already said
uh here's the thing about them um their waistline, it doesn't cinch too hard,
which is a big deal for me.
I'm pretty particular about my shorts.
The inseam of these things is perfect
to show just enough thigh that it's tasteful,
but also sexy.
And the liner of these things are...
Can you pass me the rock talking about the liner?
Thank you.
The liners are goaded.
I've tried liners from um numerous competing brands of bird dogs
and not a single one holds up to bird dogs they are the perfect amount of comfortable and also
supportive i don't understand how they could it feels like the liners were made for my body type
like it like and it it's like but i hear other people who don't have the same body type. It's like, but I hear other people
who don't have the same body type as me
talk about how much they like the liners too,
and it just blows my mind
that so many people do enjoy the liners
as much as they do.
Different lower halves.
They fit me great.
Perfect.
Yeah.
I'm famously way more muscular than you,
and I can fit all my muscular thighs into there.
It's true.
Yeah.
It's pretty sick.
But if, yeah,
like we're saying,
if you want to go to birddogs.com
slash circling, you can enter promo code circling for a free Yeti-style tumbler with your order. It's pretty sick. But if, yeah, like we're saying, if you want to go to birddogs.com slash circling,
you can enter promo code circling
for a free Yeti-style tumbler with your order.
That's birddogs.com slash circling
or promo code circling for that free Yeti-style tumbler.
You won't take your bird dogs off.
We promise you.
That being said,
I do think you should wash them every once in a while.
Every now and then.
Their sweatpants are incredibly comfortable, too.
Throw that out there.
If they want to send any our way,
I would love to try these out in the panic room.
Okay.
Last night, I got home
a little later.
Decided to go out on my porch because there was
a supermoon going on.
I texted you.
Want to read my text?
Did I say it?
Yeah, let me pull it up.
It's pretty lit.
I was a couple margaritas deep,
and I can't confirm that one of those margaritas
was a mezcal margarita.
Was it smoky?
You're supposed to give those to me.
I regretted it.
Give the rest of them to me.
All right, this is from Will at 11.31 p.m.
That's a late night for you.
Yeah, you know your boy stays up late.
You go to bed at
like 8 15 facts he says ngl not gonna lie dave moon bright af rn which means not gonna lie
moon bright as fuck right now i went out and looked at it um a little bright for my taste
oh it was the moon too bright for you?
A little bright.
You had to put your sunglasses on.
Also, I've seen similar moons.
Just one didn't seem like great.
Nothing super about it.
I'm hearing reports that the moon was bigger
earlier on in the night,
but I have to admit that it did just kind of look
like a bright moon.
It was bigger earlier.
I was driving a Mopac at 830.
I looked to my right, David, which is east, and I saw it, man.
And it looked like you could reach out and just touch it.
Like you could put a lasso.
You could lasso it and pull it in.
A blue supermoon combined with Dylan driving,
given that he's already sending text messages while driving,
is an absolute liability. It was so big and it was so bright and it looked really dope over the austin skyline and it was i had a moment i was like that's freaking beautiful man
you have to change your pants you don't appreciate oh it's too white you don't appreciate shit you
don't respect space i like you don't appreciate our moon no it does a lot the gravity it was a
blue supermoon the tides and allmoon the next one's in 2037
why don't you get about that what about 2037 that's the next time we're gonna see a blue
supermoon you dumbed up okay or i get hopefully i'll put it on my calendar hopefully you'll put
it on your calendar he says you don't appreciate shit uh there's some things i do appreciate
i think the sun's doper than the moon okay fuck the sun man the sun rocks the sun's
been uh hell on us this summer the moon however it's just fucking pretty man solar flares are so
extra yeah what are you doing like okay cool cool dude interferes with my wi-fi the sun
solar flares they mess with like your phone your 5g or whatever 5g that's giving
you fentanyl or whatever the fuck yeah exactly test hey test your drugs for 5g hey guess what
if you missed the blue supermoon i have some great news for you you can see it tonight as well cool
i'll bring roads out roads loves the moon it blue still, although not blue in color, confusingly.
Just because it's... You know, I want it in a blue moon, you know, because they're rare.
Have you ever had blue moon ice cream?
3% of full moons are blue.
I know. We had this conversation yesterday.
But not in color, Will.
We had this conversation yesterday.
You don't know anything.
I think I'd rather go see Blue Edmondson.
He had a... What is it? What is that one song he did? I think I'd rather go see Blue Edmondson. Yeah.
What is it?
What is that one song he did?
I can't even remember.
$50 in a flask of crown.
Yeah.
That's right.
I'd go see that song.
$50 in a flask of crown.
I'm more of a blue cantrell guy.
Hey, ladies.
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na. hit him up and it's a good song dude i'm really i'm really impressed with you dave this shows that you're a dickie know-it-all you just he just pulled that
hit him up style out of his fucking bag you really like blue you should go see the most recent dickie
know-it-alls episode it's true and a whole segment about blue. Yeah, but you're confused right now, Randy,
because the blue moon actually isn't blue.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
So then why is it called blue moon, Dylan?
Well, if there are two full moons in one month,
it makes it a blue moon, which is rare.
Doesn't happen too often.
Does that answer your question?
Oh, yeah.
Baby blue was the color of Dave's eyes. Babe, there's blue over
there. Hey, man. With no no disrespect, but get the fuck out
of my house. Yeah, kick him out of your house. You got to go
one leave this whole time. Honestly, good. You already
turned my AC off. You had it on it on 67 i was trying to chill it
down before y'all got here it was frigid all of the equipment it's a big production like a meat
locker in here there's like a lot of people behind the scenes y'all don't know about it's just very
warm like you're hanging out big slabs of just beef oh yeah you have no idea what kind of beef
i'm hanging okay okay it's a fucking meat market in here.
What would Greg Abbott think if he knew
you were keeping your house at 67 degrees, dude?
You know what he'd say to you? He'd be like,
Buster, turn that down.
Hey, man, Urquhart.
That's why the code people were here yesterday.
Urquhart sent them.
That was scary. I thought I was yesterday. ERCOT sent them. Yeah. I knew that we were...
That was scary.
I thought I was about to get written up for something.
If the code people would have written us up that fast
for recording here instead of, like, the studio,
if they found us within an hour,
I would have respected code people so much
for the rest of my life.
I had that thought.
I think they were just going to write me up
for some old JavaScript on the old
website. Our old studio, which was famously
in the vape house, was coded for
business. We got it cleared.
That didn't shock me. Did you know that?
I had to move a lot of furniture
that day to get it cleared.
Is that true? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that.
Yeah, yeah. Why did they do that?
Because. By the book? Yeah. We were doing a lot of that. Yeah, yeah. Why did they do that? Because.
By the book?
Yeah.
We were doing a lot of business to that house.
They had to get it cleared.
Have you guys seen it since?
No.
It's sick.
The people that redid it, redid it.
Is it modern?
Like a big rectangle? It doesn't give Silicon Valley tech incubator anymore.
What's it giving?
It gives that our company just got bought and we are rich now.
Damn.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dang, I wish we had had some equity in that.
In the house?
Yeah.
How?
I don't know.
We would have had to pay rent for the studio instead of just doing ad reads for early bird.
That would have been really annoying.
Or if they just broke us off or something.
They did. Here's 10% of the house.
Just proceeds.
Just get our beak wet. Did we raise the value
of that house?
Arguably. Put some good
shows together. We did.
That studio got a little warm.
Not as warm as the studio
over
our studio currently.
Over South Lamar Way?
Yeah.
All right.
What else?
What's up with this bull, man?
What's this guy doing?
Like, your bull, don't put your bull in your vehicle.
Man pulled over for driving with massive bull
named Howdy Doody riding shotgun in Nebraska.
This bull is absolutely stacked.
The horns, that is.
What kind of bull is this?
Like, what?
This guy, this dude just carved out half of his car.
How long would it take you to do this?
To literally take your car cut out like the
a quarter of it so a bull could just sit in there hey read the name of the bull so what to see bull
i've never heard of that before what is it what would to see with 2C. He has his head
pulled down.
Yeah, I think you don't want him to
get a bunch of air under it and fly away.
It's got to hurt its neck, right?
The back of the vehicle is just covered in
bullshit.
He did it!
He did it!
It's an old police cruiser.
Right on, good sirs.
Yeah, but they took off PO and it just says lice on the back now.
It's not a good look.
A lot going on.
It's not a good look.
Don't put your bull in your sedan.
This bull doesn't look particularly happy.
There are trailers designed for bulls, I believe.
A sedan is not a proper vehicle for this.
Yeah.
Mode of transport.
This guy should lose his permit.
The officer wrote him some warnings.
There were some citable issues in the situation.
The officer chose to write him a warning
to ask him to take the animal back home
and leave the city.
Like, he got away with it?
Took his bull and went home?
Like, I'm kind of amazed that the cops
just didn't feel like doing the paperwork
to get this guy in trouble for just, like,
having a bull in an old cop car.
I'm just worried about the bull's safety at this point.
Yeah, that's honestly what I'm thinking, too.
I know.
If it were me, I would just strap him
to the top of my car in a crate.
How did he get the bull?
Mitt Romney.
It's a good Romney joke.
How did he get the bull into that position?
Like into the car?
Yeah
What did he coax him up there with?
Okay, based on what I'm looking at
It looks like the door in the gate
You could like open
And so I don't know
It's really impressive that he did this
It's really impressive
Like a quarter of my uh instagram
feed now is the rodeo game where people go stand out there and they just let like a bowl out and
you just try it you see how long you can stand still or stay in the circle and inevitably someone
gets absolutely trucked how's it how's the saying go play stupid games win
stupid prizes yeah what's the point of that game oh ours randy's always saying fuck around and find
out that's right that's what randy's always saying did dilla just hit us with a taylor swift lyric
i don't think she came up with that no i think she did i don't think so yeah it goes play stupid
games you win stupid prizes right but again i don't think
she came up with that she's not the originator of it oh you're accusing taylor of plagiarizing
stupid dumb idiot okay it's kind of weird not something i would accuse her of yeah uh i didn't
realize that we just decided to uh be an anti-girl boss podcast you're kind of here we are you're
kind of in your narc era yeah that's fair You're kind of in your NARC era.
Yeah, that's fair.
You're kind of giving Andrew Tate... What the fuck was that, man?
You're not giving Andrew Tate.
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
I wish Micah was here right now.
Yeah, he would appreciate this.
What if he was just working from Dave's dining room table?
You would probably go into Dave's closet
and pull out the wrinkly wrinkle, his shirt.
He could find, he'd find a drawer.
Yeah.
So Micah, Micah called me last, last week.
He called me Tuesday afternoon.
I was in the middle of something.
So I forgot to, and I forgot to call him back.
And then he called me again Thursday and I was recording a podcast with you two.
So I called him on Friday and I was like, Hey dude dude, I'm really sorry I've been missing your calls.
And he was like, no big deal, no big deal.
Everything's great on my end.
I was like, oh, okay, cool.
Like, I'm glad nothing's going wrong.
And he goes, well, I called you on Tuesday, Will,
to let you know that you need to go to the Lyle Lovett show
on Tuesday or Wednesday night
because it's a life-changing concert.
He said it was the greatest concert he's ever seen.
It was an absolute delight and I need to go.
And I was like, why wouldn't you just, you know,
maybe text me that instead of telling me, like...
He's a call guy.
I respect the phone call person.
I know, but like, if it's that, if it was that good,
I'm like, Micah, like, could you have just sent me a text
just kind of telling me instead of like not telling me at all?
I think you need to appreciate that he thought of you
and reached out to make the connection. Believe me, believe me. believe me mike i'm very happy with micah's phone calls i'm very happy
usually he and i don't have to play phone tag usually it's an immediate answer he called me
a couple weeks back and made my day yeah can i get a set list i need to see if he's doing the
toy store song there he should he should i bet if you i bet if you requested it he would
put a toy store so intimate environment you think that would go over with lyle he should. I bet if you requested it, he would. Put a fucking Toy Story
song. Intimate
environment. You think that would go over well with Lyle?
Dude, my favorite Toy Story song is the claw one.
Do you think he'd perform the claw one?
How's that go? Give us
a little. Haven't you never seen Toy Story?
That claw! Or do you just
not like it? I've seen Toy Story and I've seen
Toy Story 2. I'm not anti
Toy Story. I just like I'm not that into it. Like it's just not my it. I've seen Toy Story and I've seen Toy Story 2. I'm not anti-Toy Story. I just like
I'm not that into it. Like it's just not
my fave.
I don't know. Hey, you got a friend in me, Will.
Like I said, I respect
Toy Story. I understand
why people like it. But
for me, I just I enjoy some other ones
out there. And now that I've seen Monsters University,
like every animated film is
on notice. Wow. Monst monsters university is the goat you would have rushed that bottom tier fray
who's my kappa yeah you're who's my kappa material dude i would have i definitely would
have rushed who's my it's so funny because when they're celebrating when they're celebrating they
chant we're okay we're okay it's a good movie man it okay, we're okay. It's a good movie, man.
It's the best.
It's a goat movie.
I wish I could have been in the writer's room
when someone said we should call it Uzma Kappa
and everyone just went crazy.
That's really good.
I might watch that today if I get a TV.
Wait for your son and your partner.
He'll appreciate it.
Can you imagine if your son found out
that you were watching Monsters University
on actual television while he was at daycare?
It's just pouring me out to everybody.
Just dragging my name.
Fritz accidentally kicked me in the nuts the other day
and it really hurt.
You know when you get hit in the nuts
and it's the perfect way of getting hit
that it lingers for like 10 minutes?
Yeah.
That's what Fritz did to me
and I have not felt that type of pain in a long time. We should bring back
doorknob.
Doesn't count as a handle.
It's true.
Dude, you got too many handles here, dude. No one's walking around
farting in front of people though. No.
Brother, you got another
thing coming. We were doing it that past weekend.
In front of Randy and the boys.
Take it back. So what is it? Somebody
toots. You go touch the doorknob and until you do
you just wail on that person.
You get punched.
Punch. Yeah.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
Were y'all
talking to a lot of chicks?
Dude, all of them.
Well, it's funny
because they weren't probably. Where were you?
Put-In-Bay? Put-in-Bay?
Put-in-Bay, Ohio.
Shout out to the backer I saw at the pool party.
Oh.
That's the best thing about Watch Media is we got fans everywhere.
That's sick.
Yeah, you're right.
Yeah, dude.
That's the best thing.
Dude, that's life.
When you're a motherfucking podcaster.
That's a Brett John right there.
We got shooters in Put-in-Bay, huh?
Yeah.
All right.
Why didn't you go enter the belly flop contest?
We had just got there.
And they had already been...
There was halfway through it.
And that king was winning it.
Was there a wet t-shirt contest?
No.
Traditionally speaking, I like the dudes that get second place
in belly flop contests more than first.
I will say, it was a party island.
There were some women that flashed some things.
Oh, were they flashed?
You can say they flashed their breasts.
Some Grand Tetons.
Oh, they didn't do undercarriage
like they were in a Vegas bar?
No, they did not. I'll talk.
Don't call them breasticles.
They didn't call them breasticles.
Yeah, but you were gonna.
Yeah.
Grand Tetons. Dylan did a wet shorts contest
once it's true really yeah it was that time we we skipped spiff good eye and we actually went
to spring break yeah he wrote an article about i got second to last he was in gulf shores yeah
i actually started this thing called spiff good eye good eye which is that it stands for spring
break is for gdis is for gdis oh yeah, yeah. And we would always just go somewhere else for spring break.
That's pretty good.
Yeah.
It's kind of a mouthful, but I like it.
I'll show you a mouthful.
Okay.
We got to get out of here.
Are we doing a weekend in fun?
We already did.
We already did it, dude.
We did it yesterday, dog.
Yeah, dude.
You're all twisted.
Oh, my plans changed.
I might go to the Duncanville football game Saturday.
The dunk?
Yeah. Did you get the press pass? pass no i'm not getting a press pass that would be maybe i should do a press pass i don't know
i don't know but yeah we should end it sorry let me turn the ac back on you