Circling Back - Eating Spinach Salad with The King of Cabo
Episode Date: July 26, 2021Dave returns from Cabo to discuss everything ranging from the world famous spinach salad at Nobu to what the hell Kanye is doing in Atlanta. We also discuss a man who took jacking way too far, our Wee...kends in Fun, and which sport we could most likely qualify for the olympics in. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (15:51) Recapping This Weekend In Fun (30:43) Dave Ruff: The King of Cabo (41:51) This Week In Jackin’ (53:36) What is Kanye doing? (1:00:14) Will Hypothetical Question Support This Episode’s Sponsors Birddogs: www.birddogs.com (STEAM for free football) Vizzy: www.vizzyhardseltzer.com/washed Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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All right, we're back.
Circling Back Podcast presented by Busy Heart Seltzer, the only heart seltzer with vitamin C and superfruit acerola my name is will defreeze to my right david the king of cabo san lucas roth
buenos dias ragazzi you can't combine those man good morning boys hello david welcome
not the king of cabo but they were calling me Jeff Pesos. They said, how was space?
Wow, really?
I said space was a movie.
It was a film, eh?
Espacio?
Hi, I'm happy to be back.
Jeff Pesos.
That's what they were calling me.
Because you were...
Never mind, I don't know where I was going with that.
He was spending pesos, dumbass.
No, I was going to say...
You're going to say he's unbalding?
No.
What?
What are you talking about?
You can say it.
It's unbalding.
What does that have to do with pesos?
Jeff Bezos is completely bald.
No, I was going to say, like, if you are the Jeff Bezos version of Jeff Bezos, I mean,
you're just dropping pesos.
Like, you don't have the money he does.
You're like the broke boy version.
Why are you going to do the peso like that? You're like the broke boy version. Why are you going to do the peso like that?
You're like the broke boy version.
You're saying that peso is a broke boy currency?
Not at all.
Not at all.
Why don't you check that exchange rate?
I don't really know.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Trying to do peso to dollar conversions in real time is just a real tough thing for me.
Yeah.
I'm not a good on-the-spot math problem guy.
You give me a pen and a TI-81, I'm going to fuck it up.
Some X and Y axis stuff, and then I might play Tetris on that thing later.
Dude, motherfuckers are forgetting that Y equals MX plus B.
Dude, that's the Pythagorean theorem, isn't it?
Dude.
A squared plus B squared.
Did you see PEMDAS trending the other day?
Who?
PEMDAS, dude. I saw PEM15 trending. Are you not familiar with PEMDAS? I just saw PEM15 trending. him dude a square plus b square you see pemdos trending the other day who pemdos dude are you
not familiar with pemdos i just saw pin 15 trending do you even know what pemdos means
no dylan just took my joke yeah he did kind of like he took kind of like he took my line during
the bird dogs read and then got put on national television for it all the time oh and will um
kind of like how i uh i just took your caption and hit a gram wow
dave did you get it did you get a surplus of likes uh the day after uh you posted your last
instagram because i implored people on the podcast to go like it and i feel like i should get credit
for some of those likes that you received no you you did you did you i I had fun listening to that pod on the plane ride back because you did a good job of not, like, begging people to go look at my post or like it, but you did enough to where they had to look. They had to do it to you.
There was one guy that did comment and said that he was there because of me, and I felt pretty happy about that.
that dave i understand wanting to put the first slide first seeing as how your wife is in the picture with you and it's just a better representation of your trip but the fourth
one is absolute heat oh my god looks like you just bought like a thousand keys of
that's the one where they were like dude there goes jeff pesos yeah. Are you kidding? Jeff Peso. Look at this fucking guy.
What?
Nothing.
I feel bad.
You know when something bad happens to a squad member and everything you talk to them about,
you just feel kind of bad.
It's just kind of like a dark cloud hovering over their head.
That's how I feel about Dylan right now when it comes to you going to Cabo.
Are you kidding?
You just swatted him out of the gym.
I crushed Cabo. We'll get to Cabo
in a little bit. No, it's not a battle. Dylan had a nice
Cabo trip.
I had an excellent Cabo
trip. Dylan, how old is the t-shirt that
you're currently wearing right now? I've had this
for probably...
I ripped off a thread
that was loose on the way in, actually.
I don't know. 15 to...
15 years, probably.
What shirt does that stand on?
You can tell it's an old shirt.
You're doing vintage tees today.
He's been to Lukenbach, man.
Oh, dude, that's so fucking tight.
Population two or seven, something like that.
Under 10.
This is a dope shirt.
Is Lukenbach one of the more overrated Texas things to do?
Like, you go and you're like oh man it takes you like it
takes you three minutes to see the whole town i mean it's it's cool it's cool because of uh
it takes you what big names that have gone through there you know i'm saying it's a dope little
situation but there's not a whole lot there never been probably never gonna go don't care
dude everybody's somebody in luken. That's the thing about it.
That's what it says on the back of the shirt. Dude, Willie, Waylon, the boys, the Ragazzi.
Willie and Waylon and the Ragazzi.
That's the original.
That's not how that song goes.
That's the original.
No.
Did you guys realize it was podcast week?
Oh, fuck.
It snuck up on us.
Are you kidding me?
No.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Podcast week.
Exactly.
Can we crush that?
Exactly, dude.
Fuck, dude.
That's big.
It actually low-key should be the official podcast week based on the fact that we have a meet-up coming up on Saturday.
It just feels like this is going to be an absolute torch week of content.
I don't know why.
I mean, it is getting to be like 100 degrees in Austin.
So it is going to be pretty torched, whether we like it or not.
Fucking hate what's happening right now in this studio.
The ragazzi.
Dude, you're going to really hate it that people on my gram are calling me Jeff Bezos. Dude, see, we're going to have distracted Dave the entire time.
No, no, no, I'm done.
He posted a gram.
Take my phone.
He's going to be checking.
No, you're a germ boy.
I'm giving you my phone.
You're a germ boy.
I'm not going to touch your phone.
We sit in the studio together.
We spit in each other's mouths.
We did make out before the podcast started.
You baby birded an auto to me.
That would be one of the all-time worst things to baby bird to somebody.
Just refried beans going from one mouth to the other.
No, is egg goaded being like the greatest of all time as in worst things to baby bird?
Is it the goat of worst things to baby bird?
What?
Eggs are weird anyway i
was looking at the c translation option on on instagram that was pretty dope caption i came up
with it and it just said cabo is a movie or it was a movie can i get a hat tip for this yeah that's
will's cat friday dog like i've been trying to get this off to be fair though like someone has to use
it at some point and now like there's i don't think any of us will ever be back in Cabo, though.
Mm-mm.
Never gonna happen.
Right, but we can't sit on a caption like that for months and months.
It's gotta happen.
You can do film-ay.
No one's doing film-ay.
I just said we'll...
All right, fine.
What's up?
I'm not going to fucking Italy for, like, a year,
and Sally's already, like, planning shit
and, like, making me watch Stanley Tucci every night. I'm like like sally we're a year out of this what's the italian word
for a movie película velo membrana patina or film would you just shut up it doesn't it's not all
four of those words you just said there's different ways. Freaking gay.
Was that pizzeria fight in America?
Hey, definitely New York. Did you see the Italian beach volleyball player?
Yes.
Yes.
And, dude, I'm sorry, but to every fucking hard-o out there who came at me for saying that I do an underhand serve and you put it in the air.
Hold on. Your underhand serve is not that I do an underhand serve and you put it in the air. Hold on.
Your underhand serve is not like this guy's underhand serve.
No.
This guy is skying it.
I know.
But, dude, this is a classic move, especially amateurs can recreate this.
They can absolutely recreate this.
Have you seen what his serve looks like when he actually gets it in?
It's super impressive.
Chill out.
No, come on.
We're talking volleyball here.
Freaking getting it in the swo volleyball here. He just spins it.
He hits it straight up and it spins and that's what carries
it over the net. It's fucking sick.
To anyone out there who
said that I was mid because I'm doing
underhand serves in volleyball and playing
amateur games, I'm sorry
but I'm essentially an Olympian at this point.
What you call this guy's serve is not. You don't call
that an underhand, like a traditional underhand serve.
I think we're overlooking something.
Oh, what do you call it?
It's never been seen before.
It's an underhand serve.
Technically speaking, yeah.
Dude, he hits it 200 feet in the air.
You guys are both just, you're burying the lead here.
I just noticed that there was not pool volleyball in the Olympics.
Oh.
Because it's a leisurely game.
It's just almost like the top athletes don't play pool volleyball.
There's also not darts in the Olympics because it's just like a, it's a leisurely game. It's just almost like the top athletes don't play pool volleyball. There's also not darts in the Olympics because it's just like a bar game.
You'd win that because you just smoke darts all the time.
You're right.
You go to the bar.
Don't smoke cigs sometimes.
It's been a very long time.
Has that thing landed yet?
What's landing first, that dude's serve or that punt?
That punt is still going.
Oh, my gosh.
I don't like that you're not, like, riding for underhand serves right now.
No, I have no problem with underhand serves.
He's been pooing them.
My point is, what this guy's doing and what you're doing are not the same thing.
Dude, they're very close.
Well.
The ideology is there.
He has to hit it higher than me because he's playing against professionals. I'm playing against
my boys, so if I put it like a quarter
as high as he does, I'm still just riding.
But if you pick
out the one person on the other side,
hit it in the air, and make them think about
it, you're going to win most points.
That's not what he's doing, though.
You see how high this guy hits the ball?
Why is Dylan Mansplaining what this guy's doing?
That's not what he's doing.
I don't really care who's right and who's wrong, but I think this is one of the funnier things.
The one that was going viral on Twitter, he didn't even get it in.
I know, but have you seen him do it the right way?
The benefit of an underhand serve is getting it in every single time.
Have you seen him actually get one in?
It's quite impressive.
Ron, you're in the smush room, Ron.
It shouldn't be impressive.
He's an Olympic athlete there to get serves in.
I've never seen a serve like that before. Mike, you going to get it in in the smush room? I. It shouldn't be impressive. He's an Olympic athlete there to get serves in. I've never seen a serve like that before.
Mike, you going to get it in the smush room?
I guess I'm not playing enough with you, dog.
You don't do that.
I can't wait to pick out Dylan on the other side of the court.
Doug, do you know what I'm talking about?
Yeah, you play in the pool and complain.
No, no, no.
I'm talking about this Italian serve.
It's just unreal.
I got to find like a good one.
Dude, they call that gelato.
Why?
Italian soft serve.
Because it's ice cold?
That too.
It's tight.
I'm going to find it, dog.
It's going to blow your shit.
Do they still call out service when they serve?
It's going to blow your little thingy off.
I've seen it.
They have it.
Don't they make you say service when you serve?
I don seen it. You have it. Don't they make you say service when you serve? I don't know.
Like, I've always, like, when they're in sports like that where you have, like, an actual judge,
do you have to call the serve out, like, the score out before you do these things?
Surely not.
Like, you don't hear, like, Roger Federer at Wimbledon being like, yeah, 40-30.
That'd be something.
You got Novak like, wait, what?
What is it?
Novak would say it, like, in a real low voice so the guy couldn't hear it and be a dick about it.
Yeah.
Then he'd like dispute it later in the game.
It's not what I said.
No.
It's not what I said at all.
You should have stopped it.
That's how Novak talks.
I'm having trouble finding it.
We can just move on.
Very cool.
Wow.
Can't spell Dylan without a couple L's.
Am I right?
Dude, don't.
Let's not.
Same with Will, dog.
Oh, that's true. You kidding me? Yeah, but you also can't spell Will without a couple L's, am I right? Dude, don't. Let's not. Same with Will, dog. Oh, that's true.
You kidding me?
Yeah, but you also can't spell Will without a dub.
Oh, didn't think about that, did you?
Oh, you didn't think far enough into that, did you?
I'm sorry.
Can't spell chivalry without seven E's or whatever it is.
Something absurd.
Seven E's.
Too many E's.
Big ass C.
Oh, hard ass C. We got some E's. A big-ass C. A hard-ass C.
We got some programming notes to get out of the way.
First and foremost, Saturday, July 31st, this upcoming Saturday,
Eisenhower's meet-up season.
It's going to be a movie.
3 p.m.
A lot of chatter about people coming out here.
A lot of excitement.
A lot of buzz.
People flying into this.
Hey, bring your sunscreen.
Yeah, if you have a spray bottle of sunscreen,
I'm going to get a hit of that about two hours in.
Catch me not wearing sunscreen out there.
Cool, dude.
I'm just going to stay covered.
That's my point.
If you're not covered, please use sunscreen at our meetup.
Dude, it's going to be sick, man.
People are flying in.
No cap, man.
You're not capping right now?
Did you stop? You learned cap in mid and like the last
week and now it's all you say it seems as if you confuse me with someone who would be capping in
a moment like this david no i'm not saying i'm just and i'm just absolutely not capping oh i
think there's a little bit of cap it's like you don't know who i am sometimes like i would cap
right now we're business partners like i would cap I know you're social by heart. Aww. I stole your identity.
Oh, really? Yeah.
I opened up a couple... You know on
American Airlines when they walk down the aisle and give out
the credit card things like, you want to sign up? You have
60,000 miles. You signed me up? I signed up.
I signed me up as you. Really?
Whatever you're doing,
it's working. My credit is soaring right now.
Oh, I'm making smart purchases. Thank you.
I bought a timeshare in Cabo.
You're paying off the debts that you don't have to pay?
Yeah.
I appreciate you, man.
Dude, you could be establishing your own credit even further.
No way, man.
You know that, right?
Thank you.
I'm helping my boy out.
I know.
Hey, two weeks out of the year, we can go stay at Diamante.
Wow, whole squad eating.
That's it.
Courtesy of day. It's whole squad eating. That's it. Courtesy of day.
It's only one bedroom.
It's fine.
Hey, Randy, can you get the AC down one degree for a player?
It's fucking hot in here.
Thank you.
God, the takes are so hot.
Also, go follow Circling Backpot on Watch Media.
Leave a review and five-star rating.
You guys want to hear a couple of reviews that we got recently?
See.
Amazing Mindless Listen.
This is from HSG. I don't even know how to say this thing
listening to this podcast is like clicking random hyperlinks on wikipedia pages no matter what's
coming there no no idea what's coming but a great way to spend an hour i love that valid uh rock
piece said i'm rocking with the pod because they're rocking with me. Five stars. Dylan says he walks around rocked up.
Thankful parent.
Could have been any of us.
That's a very sweet name.
Thankful parent said, I like podcasts.
Some make me think.
Some teach me things.
Some make me ask, am I living my best life?
This is not the podcast for any of those things.
Been listening for a few months and wondering about pre-workout visiting and being different.
But I have kids and I like hanging out on the weekends.
These guys are evil geniuses.
Very cool.
Is Thankful Parent like the most heartwarming reviewer name ever?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Like, that's just nice.
Nice.
I just like the guy who only listens when he falls asleep.
He misses the second half of every single episode.
Well, Creed999 said, spinach salad.
If I hear Dorn say spinach salad one more time, I'm going to withhold my next month's Patreon fee. So, oh, my God. Hey Well, Creed999 said, Spinach salad. If I hear Dorn say spinach salad one more time,
I'm going to withhold my next month's Patreon fee.
So, oh my God. Hey, guess what, buddy?
Spinach salad.
Spinach salad.
There.
We also have a dude talking shit.
He was not thrilled with Sally's appearance on Wednesday's podcast.
Are you kidding?
What?
Who brought the he?
He gave us five stars.
He said,
Sally is insufferable in the latest episode.
Five stars for Dylan and Will.
Negative one for Sally.
I listened to it.
She was not insufferable. I thought she was very
good. That's still nine stars by my count.
Not only was she good,
I appreciated that she rode for
Will in the battle for Cabo. She's like,
what about you? Thank you.
I think on the tier,
you could argue me or Will.
Obviously, Dylan's
mid.
Sally was great on that episode.
I'll say it.
You're made, yo.
You texted me on the side and said she was kind of mid.
And I don't like it.
I didn't say that, man.
I would never say that about Sal Gale.
Also, YouTube.com slash Wash Media.
There are rumors that it's not just podcast week.
It might be Shark Week coming Wednesday night.
So if you've got a shark board, now's the time to take a photo of it. And just podcast week. It might be shark week coming Wednesday night.
So if you've got a shark board, now's the time to take a photo of it.
And to be clear, this is about charcuterie.
Yeah.
Not this. C-H-A-R-C.
Isn't that what everyone assumes that we're talking about?
I don't know.
Patreon this week.
We've got Bachelorette tonight.
Everyone get excited.
Two hours of our favorite television show.
I'm finding a sneeze off, man.
Patreon dot com slash circling back podcast.
We also do Thursday voicemails. Go check it out. Patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast. We also do Thursday voicemails.
Go check it out.
Patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast.
I think it's time to recap this weekend in fun.
Hey, Will, can I holler at one of those tissues in case I do need to sneeze at some point?
Take it, dude.
Don't just throw the box at me.
Take it, dude.
What are you doing?
Take it, dude.
Just take the whole box.
Our friendship is so mixed sometimes.
Just take it, dude.
Dylan, if you want to step outside and blow your nose for the next hour.
No, I'm good, man.
For the next hour?
Will and I want to talk Woodstock.
Yeah, we're trying to talk Woodstock.
I will leave for that.
You are never going to watch that documentary.
Absolutely not.
Oh, the biscuit.
Cool.
Backwards Yankee cap.
Whatever.
You don't get it.
Fred Durst.
So much more.
More like Fred Worst.
Randy? Randy?
Randy?
That's what they called me when I was eating that Wagyu glizzy.
Did you put a backwards cap on?
I actually did because I was covering my bald spot from the sun.
Okay.
Wow.
Okay.
What did you fucking do this weekend, dumbass?
Dude, Friday I straight up played golf, man.
Was that Friday? It was Saturday. It was definitely Saturday. Was it Saturday?ass? Dude, Friday I should have played golf, man. Was that Friday?
It was Saturday.
It was definitely Saturday.
Was it Saturday?
What did I do Friday?
I don't know.
I don't know, man.
We had coffee Friday.
We had coffee Friday.
Yeah, I saw y'all here.
That's tight.
Randy didn't show up, too.
What did I do Friday?
Randy's 0 for 2 on the last coffee Fridays that I've been in attendance for.
Oh, Bay and I went to hang out with a couple of her friends.
Oh.
It was a little friend and kids played, and we had...
Where'd you go?
We had some pizza.
Whoa, is that weird for Bay to eat Bay?
Yeah, cannibalism.
Yeah, she was a little freaked out by it, but it was good Bay.
Pizza.
Chill out, dude.
We've gone too far.
Yeah, we went to their place, and it was a fantastic little time.
Wait, did they make pizza or order it?
We picked up from Home Slice.
Oh, that's okay.
It was very good. Did you go to
Smush Room with Ron? Sorry,
I can't stop. Once I start,
Jersey Shore, where were we doing earlier? Why did you have to take it there?
This isn't Jersey Day. I know.
I didn't take
Bay to the Smush Room. I didn't say Bay, I said Ron.
Saturday. Do you take Ron to the Smush Room? You took a box of pizza to the Smush Room, David. I didn't say Bay. I said Ron. Answer this question.
Did you take Ron to the Smush Room?
You took a box of pizza to the Smush Room.
For the record, Ron and I did not go to the Smush Room together.
Okay?
Dude, I saw a funny jersey.
Sure me.
It was like, this is the Italian something men's basketball team at the Olympics.
And it was the guys.
It made me laugh.
I saw it, too.
It was good. Saturday, I played golf with the guys. It made me laugh. I saw it, too. It was good.
Saturday, I played golf with you guys.
Kind of a situation.
Still waiting on that Venmo.
It was super hot out there.
You owe Dave $10.
I tried to pay him in cold, hard cash, and he said spend it on Bay instead.
I told him to buy something nice.
He says buy something nice for Bay.
What a guy.
Did you buy her something nice?
Not yet. I will. You could have gotten her some new Popeye bae. What a guy. Did you buy her something nice? Not yet.
I will.
You could have gotten her some new Popeye's nuggets.
Maybe I will.
Maybe I'll surprise her.
Saturday night did nothing.
Sunday, big kid day.
Big kid day.
Bae and Lil Bae and Parks.
We went swimming.
What if you're just listening to this, Paul, for the first time?
Yeah, you hate everything.
There's no way you've made it this far.
We had a big-time swim.
They hit the slide.
It was sick.
Sick day.
They were just dancing.
Slide, slide, slide.
It was dope.
It was mega dope.
What pool?
Great Hills.
Hmm.
I've always said they have the best hills.
They're great.
That's the thing about them.
Great Hills.
Dave, what did you do, man?
Let's hear about your weekend, dog.
It probably sucked, honestly.
I was with you for part of it.
Got back from Cabo late Thursday.
Oh, God, it was just a pellicula.
Just reflecting on the trip.
Just trying to go walk around as much.
This is about as tan as I'll ever get.
So I'm trying to get out in, like, public so people, like, see it.
Because a lot of people would come.
Look at Bronze Dave over here.
You really, I might, I'm going to get a tanning membership.
I'm going to start tanning.
You feel better when you tan.
Get spray tan, dog.
Safer.
Yeah, but then you can't, like, do any, like, I don't know.
Spray tan.
What if Dave just started getting spray tan?
I'm not opposed to it.
That'd be funny.
Odds you'll get a spray tan.
I don't want to get a spray tan, man.
One in 40.
He won't even bleach his butthole.
You think he's going to get a spray tan?
Spray tan's much easier to do than spritzing your butthole.
Can you get it done at the same time?
Probably.
Do they have a little, like, accessory that pops up?
I said one in 40.
Okay.
Ready?
Yeah. One, two, three, 12. Ooh. Hmm. have a little like accessory that pops up and i said one in 40 okay ready yeah one two three
oh oh uh yeah we played golf saturday um that was a lot of fun it was very hot and none of us
played particularly well but i drank uh way too many dick a little b Ultras, which... Can I say that?
They're not a sponsor.
It's like drinking water.
They're the most...
I had one Dickelob Ultra on the course.
Yeah, because you brought your big boy cans.
Yeah, I had three Dickelobs.
But I can confirm that I did have
three Tallboy Pacificos on the course.
Will just pulled out a 24-ounce man can.
That was not a Tallboy.
That was a Magnum.
Seeing your Michelob Ultra next to my Pacifico was hilariously bad.
My slim can?
Like, it was, yeah.
I didn't mean to flex like that, but.
We didn't know that the course were playing Lions.
This is PSA for anybody who's about to go play Lions.
Their snack bar's closed.
Yeah, bring your own beer.
And it's BYOB, which is great, but we didn't know that.
Luckily, Brett did a little beer run before the round.
Clutch.
And I'm not complaining about the Dickle of Alter.
It's a great golf course beer, I'm sure.
You guys, despite playing like absolute garbage,
I had a lot of fun with you.
Dude, yeah, we'll totally invite you to the next one.
Thank you.
Appreciate that.
You didn't lose any balls, did you?
No, man.
Not one. It was sick. any balls, did you? No, man. Not one.
It was sick.
If you go out there right now, there's at least three triple track technology
Callaway Chrome Soft wash media golf balls somewhere around Lyons.
Those are big-time finds.
And they're in great.
They've only been used once.
Yeah.
They did not complete an entire hole before doing that.
No.
And then yesterday was just low-key.
I mowed the lawn.
Swag.
Shirtless or not?
Yes, absolutely.
Dude, I'm obsessed with keeping the tan.
I'm not kidding.
You have to.
Yeah.
Are you putting on SPF, though, David?
Yeah, I do 30.
Okay.
I was doing 50 in Cobble.
I'm doing 30 now.
Okay.
You should probably stick to that 50 player.
I'm just looking out for you. You don't want to have to get something removed like me. Yeah. I'm doing 30 now. Okay. You should probably stick to that 50 player. I'm just looking out for you.
You don't want to have to get something removed like me.
Yeah, I'm curious about that.
Yeah, well, as people know, I did have a major, major surgery last week
of getting my mole removed.
And I thought everything was fine after the golf the other day.
And I showed Sally.
I was like, look, it doesn't even hurt.
And I held my arm up.
And the look on her face was like somebody had, like,
done something terrible to me.
And I quickly realized that I did more damage than good playing golf with that wound.
My wound.
Oh, okay.
My wound.
Yeah.
That was good.
Not great.
Not great.
So I'm officially in recovery mode again this week.
It's not great.
Putting will.
Did she restitch it?
No.
We just have it. Did you glue it maybe yes do you use elmers
yeah just some elmers use some gorilla glue gorilla glue untamed ape yes i just sprinkled
some ape shit cuts on there and it just magically healed well if you listen to my lactation consultant,
you just – a little breast milk on there.
Why do you have a lactation consultant?
We had one.
What are you doing?
They needed to consult me.
Dude, your pecs have been popping.
You might have something to eat.
You got to milk those bad boys.
No, she told me that her daughter, her granddaughter,
got attacked by a peacock.
Peacocks are territorial.
Yeah. As her granddaughter found out by a peacock. Peacocks are territorial. Yeah.
As her granddaughter found out, it taloned her, scratched her face,
and she said that they healed it real quick with breast milk.
It's a true story.
I was told this.
I'm batting about 250 on lactation consultants right now.
I got to tell you, Will, some of them are better than others.
The discrepancy in knowledge between some and others is just vast,
and I never knew that was going to be the case.
Well, the thing about them is they consult on lactation.
Yeah, exactly.
People forget that part of it.
Lactation.
All drinking.
Dude, this weekend was a movie.
Why is Chapo drinking?
I pretty much did the exact same thing with the boys.
Chapo.
Yeah, Friday night, I actually went to happy hour with Brett.
And I have to say that if you go to a local watering hole,
a.k.a. like low-key hotel bar vibe looking place called Fix,
down near West 6th Street,
and you walk in there with Brett Merriman,
you're going to get treated like an absolute king.
Yeah.
I've never experienced anything like it.
That's facts.
Is Brett the king of the bar, like the hotel slash restaurant bar scene?
Dude, but he does something that I have no desire to ever do,
and that's talk to everyone that works there.
Dude, he's our biz dev guy, though.
I know.
We've got to have him.
He's just built differently than me.
Didn't he meet, like like the owner of Lupe?
Yeah, like I just, when I'm at a bar and if I'm alone at a bar or if I'm with like one
other person, the last thing I want to do is like just carry on a conversation.
Carry on my conversation.
So unnecessary.
What?
What just happened?
Don't you cry.
Sorry, I watched the Woodstock documentary and I just can't stop making songs in my head.
Peace, love, man.
Music.
That was a Guitar Hero classic song.
Like Guitar Hero 1.
Never played Guitar Hero.
Are you kidding?
Mm-mm.
How did you play Guitar Hero and he didn't?
I loved Guitar Hero.
I think you're just saying that so it sounds like it.
Oh, I loved it.
I understand why people liked it so much.
It was so fun.
It just wasn't for
me I just it was so fun for like a month and I just got over it nah if I'm doing something that
requires like a a giant piece of equipment that I use in my living room I'm doing DDR every single
time dancing is way cooler than playing a fake guitar could you not shred no no damn my hands
don't work like that just never been a guitar hero guy.
What do I have to do in order to get you guys to do something that I've also been doing this weekend?
In recapping my weekend of fun?
That is watching The White Lotus on HBO Max.
I will watch it.
Please just start it.
Oh, I don't know, Will.
Guess what?
Maybe I'm two episodes in.
How about that?
Well, it took you long enough because I was telling you about it way long ago.
You told me about it like four days ago.
Oh, my gosh. Dude, I'm so in right now isn't it good I'm
waiting for something to pop off though it will I'm not worried about it I need
it to dog I'm not worried about it it's sick so far are there any like notable
actresses in this that we should Connie Connie David ever heard oh yeah yeah
anybody else like the dark Dar. What's her first name?
Check.
No.
Alexandra?
Yeah.
No, I don't know if it's Alexandra.
Alejandra?
Alessandra?
What's her name, dude?
Alexandra?
We could just look it up.
It is Alexandra Daddario.
Yeah, that was a guess.
She's in it.
Nice Italian.
Molly Shannon is in it.
She hadn't appeared yet for me.
I'm only two ups in.
Is she playing herself or is she playing her SNL character?
I'm 50.
50 years old.
I was thinking the, oh.
Oh.
And then I smell them.
That guy.
That was a, that was.
Oh, and she just crashed.
That was the worst.
That was the worst SNL spinoff movie that they made.
No, no, no.
Corky Romano.
You guys want some cookies?
Yeah, I love cookies.
He's got that out of Corky Romano.
At least, yeah, it's quotable.
Dude, I'm sorry.
Superstar was awful.
I enjoyed Not at the Roxbury.
That was low-key pretty funny.
Yeah, it was.
How many episodes in are you, Doug?
Only two. I didn't watch last night's episode, dawg? Only two.
I didn't watch last night's episode, so I'm prepping.
Okay.
Saving it for tonight.
So we're at the same spot.
Dude, can I binge it?
We're on the same wave.
And you're giving me shit.
Can I binge it?
Dude, that would be epic.
I also started the first episode of Ted Lasso.
Oh, God.
There's so much TV right now.
Dude, it's crazy that you're never going to get asked on a Ted Lasso pod.
Never.
Never. Actually actually I did. I was on, uh, I was on John Hickey, J.R. Hickey, uh, so many screens. Rest in peace. That's a nice touch. Yeah. Uh, you know, he can dunk on Dylan. Yeah. Anyone
can. I mean, he can dunk not on Dylan though. I've been wearing weighted shoes for the last few
months. My vertical is stupid. There was a dude at lifetime yesterday wearing ankle weights
like as he like was doing curls and i just was like dude this is amazing oh my god why don't
you start doing that what's it gonna do for me make your legs like a shred bigger it's not it's
just flat out not are you first your weekend like what's going on here who else is in this maybe it's
the freaking weekend and i had me some fun.
Anybody else in White Lotus?
Like, any other actresses?
Like, maybe from another HBO...
Ooh, you're talking about Sidney Sweeney?
I am.
Who's Sidney Sweeney?
America's Sweetheart?
She's a B-I-T-C-H in that movie.
Oh, the daughter.
She's mean to everybody in that show.
BCH in that movie.
Oh, the daughter.
She's mean to everybody in that show.
They actually nail the mean older sister role as someone who grew up with an older sister.
Her and her friend, they make me uncomfortable.
Yeah, they're mean.
They're meanies.
They are super mean. All I can think about when I'm watching this, hey, Panini, why are you being a meanie?
That song is woated.
If you're new here, can you explain in the focus home what woated
means sure it's the opposite of goaded where goaded is the greatest of all time
woated is the worst of all time damn my what I was saying is that panini is the
worst song of all time no it's the worst case scenario love Shack is worse dude
love Shacks not a bad song really bad Love Shack is worse. Dude, Love Shack's not a bad song. Love Shack is a really bad song.
Love Shack, baby.
I think Love Shack may be my least favorite song ever.
Maybe Love Shack.
Okay, Dylan.
What's up, player?
Okay, fantasy football punishment.
Do you guys play fantasy football?
I do.
I'm in so many.
You know I do, David.
You have to go to Panera Bread, eat panini while listening to panini in headphones on repeat for five hours.
You have to just keep eating panini.
No, he has to stay there for 24 hours.
And each panini he eats, he gets one hour taken off.
But you have to listen to panini on repeat.
I can't.
I'm out.
I'll just quit the league.
Blood in, blood out.
That's the terrible punchline.
There's a buyout.
Panini is so bad pesos how much is that what is that what is that what's that you'll have to do the conversion
i don't want to i don't think it's that much i don't want to i mean yeah it's 7500
yeah that's worth a lot yeah i mean that a lot. That's too much money for your boy.
Yeah.
I'm not that rich, man.
It's a decent buyout.
Yeah.
It's not as bad as it sounded originally.
Dylan, you say you're not rich.
I saw your new truck.
No, you didn't.
Cummins Diesel?
I did not get a Cummins Diesel.
Can we talk about Cabo real quick?
Jeez, what's there to talk about, man?
It was a pellicula.
We know already.
Add DC rough on the gram if you want to check out Cabo.
I'm going to like that from at Will DeFries.
Well, I already liked it from at DeShivery.
No one can spell that.
It doesn't matter.
Four E's.
C-H-E-V-E-R-E-R-E.
When your family was originally like workshopping names,
when they were sitting around the situation room,
and they were like, all right, so what are we going to go with?
What's the final thing?
They weren't in the situation room.
They were like, all right, we're going to spell it this way,
but we're going to pronounce it this way.
I've wondered this many times, actually.
I don't know.
I don't know how it went down.
What is the country of origin for the last name Chevry?
France.
We've done this.
We don't really know.
It's a French name.
Yes, we do.
It's very French.
Did we figure out that you were Irish, potentially of the black Irish?
So my grandfather on the Chivary side, he was adopted.
So the blood, who knows?
I mean, yes.
Very Western European, it turns out.
My theory is black Irish.
Yeah, that's my theory.
Look it up. Look it up.
Look it up.
Yeah, I mean, people at home can if they want to.
I'm not going to look it up.
I'm looking it up right now.
I've got too many tabs.
Your last name originated in Ohio.
I don't believe that's...
Weird, dude.
Wow.
There's a correlation with...
A small fishing community on the lake.
There's a correlation with Chevrolet cheese, like goat cheese.
Some goat cheese.
I'm goating.
That's interesting.
Didn't they call it woe cheese when it came to your family?
Stinky cheese.
No, dude.
Because you stink, baby.
It's straight up goat cheese, dog.
I'm more of a mozzarella.
Dude, it's French.
You don't know anything about that.
No, I don't.
I do know.
Did you guys check out the Olympics at all?
You ever been to France?
No, i haven't
i flew into paris this guy i've stayed in paris to get away from my parents i've watched a night
in paris oh me too me too man what i mean by that i watched it a couple times back in the day that
is one of the like that does not hold up how do you know but she was such a huge name at the time that it was like it was
kind of lit she was a huge oh it was it was mega it was a scene it was it was a movie i believe i
watched it on limewire it was an adult movie can i talk about something real quick sure all right
i'm gonna set the stage so dylan when did you go to caboo San Lucas? March. So back in March. 2021.
Weren't you calling it March Madness for just your trip to Cabo?
Yeah.
Dylan came back and all he could do the entire time was rave about a certain spinach salad that he got at the Nobu Hotel in Cabo San Lucas.
That's not all I was doing.
Not only is it at the Nobu Resort, it's at Nobu, the world-class sushi restaurant.
Yeah.
I saw Dylan.
I thought I made that clear.
I actually saw Dylan right when he got back into the studio.
He opened up his phone, went into incognito mode,
and started looking up photos of the spinach salad in a different browser.
Dylan's recommended tab.
I wanted to add an incognito mode.
Dylan's looking for tossed spinach salad on the recommended tab.
Yeah, and Dylan's just scrolling pics.
I can see his mouth just watering.
And he said that this spinach salad was absolutely goaded. dave you actually had it i did um and and let me tell you
so first night we were there we did nobu check out at dc rough on instagram i did post a picture
from it the the two palm trees just saying that's from nobu yeah yeah okay and let me say that that
was probably my favorite meal.
I'd never done the Nobu thing.
I'm not a huge sushi guy.
I'll go.
Well, you told me a long time ago that whenever it comes up, you always say yes, Boo.
I don't know the ref.
You think about it.
I never tell Boo no.
Oh, no Boo.
Okay, I got it.
When are they going to put out new music?
You too.
Boo no, The Edge.
I hate this.
Okay.
No, I had to spit it.
Okay, so we get it.
One of the first things we did was get the spinach salad.
And I ate the spinach salad.
we did was get the spinach salad and i ate the spinach salad to come back from a trip and lead and and for your lead um food i don't think that was the lead was the salad at nobu
it was good you guys are blowing this out of proportion no you were you i believe you called
it life changing on more than one occasion as far as spinach salads go which i understand it in the hierarchy of foods it's not it's not at the top i'm certainly not but as far
as spinach salad goes i've never had a better one i mean maybe i just can't i my palate has not um
it was lit can i know what i offer a take sure if i'm eating a, spinach is not the first choice the planet has to go with.
I'm an iceberg boy.
Everybody knows that.
It's so icy.
That's what's up.
Iceberg stinks.
No, romaine stinks.
What's the one that will give you diarrhea?
Romaine.
There's a recall on romaine once a month.
I don't like that one.
If you think it's safe to buy romaine, just Google it before you go over to the section.
This podcast is anti-diarrhea.
No, I'm very anti-diarrhea.
I'm anti-food poisoning.
You're a survivor.
I do have $200 to spend at Sweetgreen now, though.
That's cool.
You should try their spinach salad.
We could do a taste test.
The best way to make your customer happy after you give them food poisoning is to offer them
free food that gave you food poisoning.
I haven't used that $200 yet, but I'm going to do it at some point.
The best time to go to a restaurant is after they have a food poisoning outbreak or E. coli.
Because then, you know, they really got to clean it up.
Dude, no one talks about butter lettuce being low-key, kind of decent.
Why is it called butter lettuce, man?
Dude, because it's like butter.
What about the steak? was fine, Dylan.
What about the steak?
Dylan, it was good.
We did...
So, Alyssa got that
and I had a couple bites
and it was very good.
What did you get
in favor of the steak?
You're the red meat
man around here.
Dude, I had...
I can't even remember.
I had some kind
of shrimp dish.
We did...
We kind of almost
did it family style.
That's where your family
gets to enjoy it.
The whole squad's eating. Kind of like our business. That's where your family gets to enjoy it. The whole squad's eating.
Kind of like our business.
That's our business mentality here.
Everybody eats.
If my young wolves aren't eating, I'm not eating.
True.
True.
So, no, I loved everything I had.
But the spinach salad, it just didn't make me rock hard like I thought it would.
Okay.
You made it sound like it would make me rocked up like you.
Again, as far as spinach salad goes, it's rocked up all the way.
I just don't know why you came back from Cabo and that was the banner.
It wasn't the banner.
Why did you lead the call?
It wasn't the headline of the Cabo trip.
We talked about what I ate, and I was like, oh, by the way,
they have really good spinach salad. know when you're like spinach salad
and then it's our side of this whole stupid thing you know when you're like uh that's what happened
you're writing you're writing professors like preparing you for like the state test like the
toss test or whatever the tax test now and you got to do like an essay and it's like a descriptive
or whatever or a persuasive and you're supposed to lead off with your strongest point in the second paragraph after your intro.
You think I'm sorry?
You led off with the spinach salad.
I don't think I did.
And I feel like that would have been somewhere in the body, somewhere in the middle.
I feel like Wagyu Glizzy was more of a headline than the spinach salad.
I had that too.
And let me say, while it was good, my phone ran out of battery
because I was too busy trying to film videos from the pool.
So that's why there was no photo evidence
of Wagyu glizzy.
Even if I recommended something to you
that you thought was life-changing and amazing,
you still wouldn't give me credit for it.
No, I would, dude.
I swear I would.
The Wagyu glizzy was really good.
It wasn't even on the menu anymore for some reason.
I had to order off menu
and be like, we normally don't do this,
but Mr. Pesos, sure.
Oh my gosh. I'm just saying, Mr. Pesos. Sure. Oh, my gosh.
I'm just saying.
Mr. Pesos.
Aren't you going to potentially be staying at this place?
You're the third and deciding boy.
Maybe.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm excited.
I'm excited to go there.
There's a small chance that we go there in January.
And, honest, I'd be lying if I said that it wasn't a driving force that I get to maybe
weigh in on this spinach salad at some point.
Yeah.
Like, I'm excited to go lay the hammer down.
You gotta go live and just munch
that salad. Okay.
You're just gonna try and bury me, aren't you?
Should I get an international plan? I saw Kevin Durant was roasting some people
on the TL for not having an international plan.
Was he? Yeah.
Some of the boys got off the flight
and didn't have an international plan. He was like, what are you doing?
Why is he my favorite player outside of Luka?
He's great.
He's awesome.
Because he's butthurt, and he gets on Twitter and claps at people.
That's all I want out of my famous people.
He's roasting the Ragazzi for not having an international plan.
Yeah, dude.
It's good.
It's good.
I wonder if any of them are still on their family plan.
Oh, yeah.
Nothing wrong with that.
It saves everybody money.
Dude, it hurts nobody.
It stimulates the economy.
There's no one.
Did you wear any bird dog shorts when you were in Cabo?
Did I?
They were my number one top tier short to wear in the pool and around the pool.
People were asking about them.
How do you say bird dog in Spanish?
Because people were saying that to me.
However, that's said.
I know dog is perro.
There you go. Bird perro. Pajaro per me. However, that's said. I know dog is perro. There you go.
Bird, perro.
Pajaro, perro.
Pajaro, yeah.
They're like, those are your everything pants, aren't they?
And I'm like, yes, they are.
And shorts.
Your pantalones de todos.
He's good.
This guy's good.
Do you wear them into the weight room there?
Yeah, dude.
It's a nice little weight room in there.
I didn't lift.
You can probably tell.
I know.
My arms look a little big.
I don't know why I asked.
Well, you can't lift on vacation because if you go to the pool after a lift, people are
going to be like, whoa, what's this dude doing here with these big ass arms?
Exactly.
Will gets it.
You don't.
Because this guy in the bird dogs is just jacked.
Yeah.
If I know one thing, it's that thick thighs are in, not thick arms.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
And my thick thighs look beautiful in these bird dogs.
Oh, bro.
Okay.
Oh.
Don't.
Please don't bark.
That's not how bird dogs sound.
Dude, it's peak summer, which means bird dog shorts are back.
These are the best and most comfortable shorts that we've ever
worn that have ever existed.
They've got a super soft built-in underwear.
They're the perfect sports or shorts for doing
literally anything. Beach, golf, brunch, pool.
They are the short shorts of the summer.
They even stole Lululemon's designer
because they're just doing it better. They're doing it different.
Larceny. Love to see it. Damn. That's designer because they're just doing it better. They're doing it different. Larceny.
Love to see it.
Damn.
That's cold.
That's cold-blooded.
You snatched them off. I know that it's nice that it's bird dog short season, but even when it's not the short season,
I'm still horrid for it because it gets to be bird dog pant season.
You love their pants.
Dude, it's an easy transition from the shorts to the pants.
They need to start making...
Maybe I shouldn't say this, but I feel like they should start making some zip-off shorts, you know?
I would love to just zip them off.
You mean, like, at the knee, like a 7-inch inseam?
Yeah.
Just zip them off and just throw them away like tearaways?
Damn.
Called zippy.
It's like dippy, but like zippy.
Right.
Yeah, you get it?
Yeah.
Dude, you know Bird Dogs is back with one of their famous giveaways?
You guys remember the nunchucks that they
did? Oh, dude, I saw it. Is it the whistle tip football?
Well, now go to birddogs.com
enter promo code STEAM and they'll throw in a free
Bird Dogs whistle tip football.
Remember those Nerf Vortex Howler footballs
that whistle when you throw them? Yeah, they're the
must-have beach toy of the summer. That's
birddogs.com, promo code STEAM
and boom, a free Bird Dogs
whistle tip football with your pair of Bird Dogs. You will not take these things off. Woo woo! I promises.com, promo code STEAM, and boom, a free Bird Dogs whistle tip football with your pair of Bird Dogs.
You will not take these things off.
Woo-woo.
I promise you.
Dave, you made today's rundown, and I see that you have a new segment.
Bob rubbing little sis right here.
I do, Will.
Oh, before we get into it, can I shout out our friend Katie?
Speaking of college.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just wanted to shout out Katie.
Is it Lux and Nix?
That's correct.
Lux and Nix.
I don't know how you describe what she does, but she planned our trip.
Almost like a travel agent, but way more connected.
Yeah.
She was on Sunday Scaries a couple weeks ago.
I, too, use Katie.
She's excellent.
I highly recommend.
I wouldn't have had her on Sunday Scaries if I didn't fully stand by everything she does.
She makes your life really easy going on vacation.
Katie, if you're listening, tune out now because we have to get into our next segment,
which is This Week in Jackin'.
I don't think Katie's listening.
Okay.
Yeah.
This Week in Jackin', Dylan.
So a guy almost died from a stroke after repeatedly masturbating, Dave?
Right-handed man almost masturbates to death.
Medical case study.
The fellow redefined mind-blowing sex
after he suffered a life-threatening stroke
while repeatedly masturbating.
Hold on, I read that wrong, but I don't care.
Now medical experts are saying
he's lucky he escaped
the ultimate unhappy ending.
Why are they referring to him as a 51-year-old right-handed man.
It doesn't make sense.
That's a sensational headline.
He's the right-hand man.
It wasn't me.
It was the right-handed man.
The unnamed 51-year-old right-handed man from Japan
admittedly enjoyed pleasuring himself several times a day,
according to a new case study published by the Medical Journal of Stroke
and Cerebrovascular Diseases.
You can't call it Stroke. You can't call it the Journal of Stroke. Yeah, you can't call it the Journal of Stroke and Cerebrovascular Diseases. You can't call it Stroke.
You can't call it the Journal of Stroke.
Yeah, you can't call it the Journal of Stroke.
So this guy was just beating the meat, and the meat beat him back.
That's what it sounds like.
It was like he was beating the beat up.
Beat just came back strong.
One explosive self-love session went awry.
Don't say explosive self-love session.
This is a quote.
It went awry when, after climaxing, the serial stroker was struck down by thunderclap, headaches, and severe vomiting.
I love thunderclap subs.
What in the world?
Who wrote this?
The Austin favorite.
Sounds like he was doing a little thunderclapping himself.
Okay.
Whoever wrote this just tried way too hard.
This is the New York Post.
This is what they do.
I mean, yeah, they're not exactly known for their official reporting on things, Dylan.
Yeah, Dylan.
He's just writing for Time right now.
It's like, have you guys been on a roll for Time before?
You guys have never been published by Time, and I can tell.
It shows.
Yeah, you're correct.
I was on Reddit once.
Have you heard of Time?
I was their person of the year one time.
Have you heard of Time? Yeah, everyone has. That I was on Reddit once. Have you heard of Time? I was their person of the year one time. Have you heard of Time?
Yeah, everyone has.
That's the thing about it.
I was at the top of Reddit homepage once.
An article I did.
I'm just saying.
What was the article?
It was about something with the Ryder Cup.
Dylan, what year do you think you wrote for Time?
2014 or 15.
Okay.
So they peaked their stock.
They peaked in, like, 2014, like May.
That's when I wrote it.
Now they're, like, about halfway there.
So, like, you kind of tanked their stock.
Let me find out.
I'll look.
I can't believe you were published in Time.
I just spelled my last name wrong.
I left off an R-E.
Were you consulted because you're the king of frat?
You always say you're the Howard Stern of the frat world.
What's shocking is that Time was like,
thought it was, like, they reached out to TFM and was like,
can you write something?
Like, no one's doing that at Time.
Hey, you're fratty.
Will you write this?
I'm sorry.
How did this guy know that he, like, was in danger?
So September 24, 2014 is when I was published.
So their stock has tanked since then.
You know, that's correct. How does that make you feel?
I'd tank the company.
Let me say this.
I'd like to say this guy was living on the edge,
but it doesn't sound like he was.
There was a Dylan Chevrolet in
Greenfield, Maryland.
It was nothing to do with the story.
Literally.
I just feel like they're using my likeness.
How have you derailed it so far?
Jeez, it's messed up.
How did you even see that?
Because I looked up Dylan Chevrolet time
and that was like the top thing.
Why did they keep this guy in the hospital for two weeks?
They're probably testing him.
Two weeks?
They're like, this dude's different.
Because he couldn't stop cranking.
No one cranks this hard.
Do you think they, like, who was the first doctor that was like,
do we need to ask him about how much he's cranking?
Was there anything, like, were you doing, they probably asked him,
any strenuous activity, any exercise?
And he's like, well, and actually, I think he was in dispose.
He had to, like, drive himself to the hospitals i don't think he had time to i'm sure he had time to put the
piece up but they're probably dude what happened man he's like dude this is really embarrassing
but i was i was homesick and i just it was just jackapalooza imagine like just jack o'pears severe Imagine... Just Jack O'Pierce. Severe vomiting.
That's not from cranking.
Is that the worst thing that can happen?
No.
Yeah, I guess not.
No, there are other bad things that can happen.
This happens though, man.
You gotta crank responsibly.
This is gonna become a bigger deal as people start working from home more.
Damn, Jeffrey Toobin?
Like Dylan for a long time Dylan for a long time was like, can't we just record remotely for like ever?
And I was like, dude, Dylan, I see right through you
Dylan did show his ass on a live stream
True
No, I tried to and y'all stopped me
Probably
I thought you did
I was going to and y'all talked me out of it
No, I think if you ran the tape you you can see me saying don't do it.
Yeah, I was going to show my tattoo.
It was patrons only, dude.
If you're doing a booty shot, should we do a washed magazine body issue?
You think I won't pop bottoms right now?
Let's do a body issue.
All right.
But who's on the front?
Randy.
We did have this conversation in Cabo that, like,
what if I just dropped it just a straight
up nude on instagram do it dude like not even a subtle one like just like straight up people
like what the fuck no there's not enough dudes like posting like sexy naked pics on instagram
second time we've shouted him out but jr hickey did post an ass shot one time true but like i
don't know i'm not judging him but like dude like, dude, if you're real, show crank.
That's something I'd like to touch nicely.
I don't want to see crank, man.
Hmm?
There are no good-looking cranks.
Nobody wants to see a crank.
A piece.
You think these doctors, when they went into work, were like,
man, would love to just get somebody in here,
just nearly jack themselves to death.
I straight up don't understand how they went from, like, man, would love to just get somebody in here, just nearly jack themselves to death.
I straight up don't understand how they went from, like, how did they figure out that this was the cause of this?
I just don't, it doesn't make any sense to me.
They probably asked, like, what have you been doing?
Were you, like, were you exercising?
Were you on the Peloton?
Like, were you in one of Cody's classes just going in?
How do you not lie?
How do you not lie and say that, yes, I was working out?
I've been working out real hard.
I definitely was not masturbating profusely.
Yeah.
Definitely not doing that.
Like, sir, why is your pen 15 completely raw?
I feel like you just have to lie the entire time.
Sir, why are your palms hairy?
Was that the rumor back in the day?
That's like, never was.
Yeah, that was like an old tale.
Oh, Harry Palms.
It says here the risk of death by sex-induced stroke can be compounded by taking cocaine, Dylan, or Viagra.
Don't say compounded.
Before the act, Dylan.
What?
Compounded?
I don't do cocaine or Viagra, David.
No, I know.
Sometimes I think you're not listening, so I have to get your attention.
Whenever I need it, it's there for me.
I'll tell you that.
Oh, here we go.
This isn't the first time someone's had this happen.
In 2016, a Bronx hospital worker allegedly died of a heart attack while masturbating to porn at work.
According to police sources, that's tough.
That's a tough way to be found.
I feel like that's just because he had like a heart attack.
I mean, I don't think the jacking caused a heart attack. It's a tough way to be found. I feel like that's just because he had like a I mean I don't think
the jacking caused a heart attack.
If one of us goes out like that
What's the actor's name
who died from asphyxiation
while cranking?
David Carradine.
That's right.
Kung Fu.
Kill Bill.
That guy.
Depressing.
It's tough.
Depressing.
Yeah but you know man
it's not tragic
if you die doing what you love.
In his case cranking.
I feel like he would
like that one back.
What's history doing to Kill Bill right now?
How are we looking at Kill Bill?
Watched them.
I feel like I enjoyed them to an extent.
Have no desire to re-watch them.
Oh, they're excellent movies.
I will re-watch them.
I recently re-watched the end of number two.
Did they ever kill Bill?
I think they're excellent.
I watched the end of number two, and I have to say,
it did bring me down memory lane a nice amount.
I was very happy with what was happening.
Yeah, Bill died by the five-finger exploding heart move.
Everybody knows that.
Everybody knows that.
I don't think that's actually a thing, though.
Not an IRL.
Five-finger death punch?
No.
What if there was a video of us getting in a fight on Micah's bachelor party in New Orleans,
and you just see me in the corner trying to do that trick.
Dude, you just get worked.
Fuck, we made that dude's heart explode.
That dude's heart just exploded.
No one has me making some dude's heart explode in a fight.
That's just not going to happen.
I'll be more likely to put your heart in a blender,
watch it spin around to a beautiful oblivion.
You're just getting your ass kicked while you're trying to pull the move
on somebody.
You're like,
what is this guy doing?
Aha!
Just get punched in the face.
Just get knocked out.
Dave, I did hear your song referenced.
That was very cool.
We do that here.
To a beautiful oblivion.
Hey, dude.
Hey, go deep.
Does Eve6 even follow you on Twitter, dude?
I don't want them to follow me.
If they did, I would just block them.
I don't want that shit.
I'm good, man.
Would you stop?
We're trying to record.
Sorry.
Can we talk about our friends over at Roback real quick?
Oh, my God.
So the other day, I was on my timeline on Instagram, and I was bored.
And I was like, you know what I'm going to go do right now?
I'm going to go kill some time by watching every
drone video that Roback's ever done.
Did you really? Dude, they have the best drone
person in the game.
What I like about Roback
is that they just do everything
up.
Whether it's drone footage, whether it's polos,
whether it's moisture-wicking workout tees,
everything they do is just A+.
So, you know how they send us the new hats, the white ones,
the one that Dylan's wearing right now?
Mm-hmm.
You know how y'all were like, Dave, don't overwear it.
Don't wear it out to the gym and stuff.
You're going to sweat through it and ruin it.
It's currently sitting in my sink at home, like, soaking in soap water
because I overwore it.
That's how much I love it.
We knew you were going to.
I have had it like a week.
When we played golf the other day, as you guys know, I wore the dino polo.
I left base house.
I put it on.
I left base house, and she almost didn't let me leave.
She was like, that thing looks fantastic on you.
She almost just locked me in.
Like too good.
Yeah.
She didn't want you out there strutting that ass.
Exactly.
Did they call you Jeff Basehouse?
Uh-huh.
We were so decked out in rowback the other day that a dude literally walked up to us on the first
tee and asked if we worked for row back that is a hundred percent true and then he proceeded to
play the front nine behind us and wearing not only behind us behind us and the bachelor party
that was having way too much fun and causing the course to be backed up jacked dude then the group
in front of us also had a row back on did y'all notice that? I didn't. He did. Just a white polo on. And he
rolled his sleeves up because he
didn't realize it, but
the tiny arms are in, so he was showcasing
Yeah, that was pretty embarrassing for that guy.
He looked like an idiot.
What an idiot! He was all long off the tee.
He's like, what are you doing, dude? Just put it out there
220. What's your problem, dude?
You carry over
200? You're just trying too hard.
You don't need any more than 220. Enjoy the game.
Head over to Roback.com.
Use Backer20 for 20% off
any first-time purchase. That's
Backer20 for 20% off any first-time purchase.
Dude, what's Kanye doing?
It's really hard
to say. So he had his release party
or whatever on Thursday
so you could watch it, the live stream of the album.
Did you watch any of it?
I did not because about five minutes before it started, I realized it was only for Apple Music subscribers.
And considering that is the, like, inferior music streaming platform, I was not going to upgrade.
I tried to do the free, like, month, but I guess I already did it.
So they told me I couldn't do that.
So I haven't heard any of this album yet.
I've heard a little bit.
Internet Party's Brad said that by the time that their episode dropped, the album would not be released still,
and he was absolutely right about that, because if you go on Spotify right now, it's still not on there.
They're saying August 6th.
When musicians do this shit, when they promise you something they don't deliver on it,
which Kanye does, I think, every time, it makes me want to listen to it less it pisses me off kanye's always done the thing where he
creates hype and he creates an urgency that people want his stuff that's how he pretty much like
made yeezys like the shoes what they are it was all built on hype in the beginning i'm at the
point with him where i'm like dude the hype is it's kind of old on me now if you're gonna do
that you have to actually bring it yeah And he has not been doing that.
And his last album just sucked.
Is that the blue one?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah?
No, Jesus is King.
Oh.
I'm just not going to listen to that when I'm trying to vibe.
I have nothing against gospel music, but it's not.
Oh, you do.
I don't listen to Kanye for gospel.
You side text me about gospel often.
I want to bring it.
I want hard-ass shit.
Well, we got Hove on this.
Apparently Hove recorded his verse
minutes before the actual live stream of the album
in Mercedes-Benz Stadium, whatever it's called.
That's the thing that gives me anxiety.
These things are always thrown together,
and he'll make changes the minute before he presses uh submit i will wordpress if somebody wants to
add a jay-z verse to their song minutes before i'm okay with i'm okay with the two but it's like
he's he's such a a perfectionist and he overthinks it that i feel like he overdoes it like the last
time he did an album i think we can all agree life of p Pablo was probably the best album he's done in the last five years.
Maybe longer than five.
Seven years.
Seven-ish probably.
And he did the live stream.
He did the whole deal.
And it was a big production
and it delivered, right?
I'm comparing him
and this is sad for both
because I do enjoy the work
of both of these people
He's kind of the Conor McGregor of music
Wow
David Ruff
Fuck
Dude, put the take torch away
I can't
And I won't
Even if I could, I wouldn't
I'd stay with the flamethrower right now
Yeah, everything's just charred in here right now
Sorry I don't hate that comparison with the flamethrower right now. Yeah, everything's just charred in here right now.
Sorry.
I don't hate that comparison.
And that's only because they've had one notable victory in the last six years.
Everyone wants them to turn it around
and get back to the old ways,
but the hope is just dwindling.
It doesn't look good.
I think this album's going to be better
than what we've experienced over his last few releases.
But I have no faith that we're going to see it anytime soon.
Is he actually living in Mercedes-Benz Stadium or is that just a dude dressed like Kanye?
TMZ is reporting that he is living in Atlanta's Mercedes-Benz Stadium as he finishes the album.
And they're just okay with this?
I mean, I'm sure he's not like like, living in the janitor's closet.
If Kanye wants to live in my stadium, I'm probably going to let him, like, live in my stadium.
What's your stadium called?
Wilmont's.
The Wilmontatorium?
Yeah.
Wilmont Arena.
But why is he doing it there?
I don't know.
Just to be weird and unique?
Why that?
Like, I get Atlanta
is like
culturally very relevant
musical scene
awesome
but like I don't know
why the stadium
he's from Chicago
yeah
why do it
in Atlanta
I don't know man
I don't fucking know
why be at a stadium
why not go to
freaking studio dog
why was he walking
around the
was that a
what game was that?
With pantyhose on his head?
With a ski mask.
What is he doing?
You don't have to wear the same outfit if you're living in the stadium.
Just take it off, dude.
What are you doing?
He's walking up and down the aisle.
What are you doing?
I don't know.
It's also hot there, and he's wearing a full jacket.
We get it, dude.
You work for The Gap, and you have jackets and stuff.
Take it off.
If this album isn't heat, I'm going to
be way, way down on Kanye.
I'm already pretty down on Kanye. It's not going to be
what you want it to be. If you think
it's T-Lop, you're just mistaken.
He was walking around an Atlanta United soccer
game. Those are
lit. Don't get me wrong. They do sell
out. What if he just
pops up at a Verde game?
You think they'll score a goal?
Okay.
I'm sorry.
You don't have to do that to him.
I know, I don't.
That's Micah's thing anyway.
I'm sorry.
They're never going to score a goal in Austin.
They're having trouble.
They're having some problems.
They're going to be fine.
You've got to score to win, Will.
That's the thing about soccer.
They're going to be fine.
I don't know if they're going to be fine.
You can't even watch the games to hear it without having –
if you have YouTube TV, you just can't watch the games, which is sick.
Very cool.
It is a little bit wild how hard it is to watch a game.
Easier to watch English games.
Of which I told you, Will, I texted you from Kabul.
I was watching some – I was looking for something, like a sport,
so I put it on Sky TV, and it was 14-year-old dudes playing soccer.
I'm like, why is this?
And I'm assuming it was one of the feeder teams for Man U or whatever.
Probably.
No, I think you were watching straight up Mexican League.
They were? No, this was English, though.
Oh, it was?
Yeah, and I don't know why. It was Sky.
I don't know.
I caught myself watching some preseason games the other day
with a bunch of players that no one cares about, and I was like, what am I doing? We beat Jamaica last night. Yeah, I saw that was Sky. I don't know. I caught myself watching some preseason games the other day with a bunch of players that no one cares about,
and I was like, what am I doing?
We beat Jamaica last night.
Yeah, I saw that was on.
I didn't have it in me to watch a full soccer game last night.
I was watching Olympic skateboarding.
Dude, what's up with Nyjah?
How are you going to lose the first event, dude?
What's your problem?
It's tough.
We're supposed to walk in,
and we're supposed to dominate these Olympics,
especially in skateboarding. It's what we do um i did watch the men's the other day and uh the
japanese dude they're all like young they're all like 15 makes no sense you see the kid that's like
13 that landed at 1080 yeah what's the problem i don't know did it right in tony hawk's face damn
hey i love having tony Tony Hawk involved in the Olympics.
Let me just say that.
Dude, cool Adam just walked in.
A-bomb.
He got a new haircut.
He got absolutely faded up, and he is looking dope as hell right now.
Dude, the world is not ready for faded Adam.
I wasn't sure if he could get cooler.
Hey, I do have a hypothetical question related to the Olympics.
Dude, let's go.
Okay, are you guys ready?
Yeah.
So everyone knows that this year's Olympics are delayed by a year.
Okay?
So we have three years until the next Olympics.
Where are the next Olympics?
In Austin.
Austin, Texas?
I don't know.
That's sick.
Okay, perfect.
I think it's in Columbus, Ohio.
If someone told you that you could win $50 million,
and what you have to do is qualify for the next Olympics,
you have to do it based on athletic merit alone.
What sport are you running to in order to make sure that you have the best chance at qualifying?
Probably badminton.
I watched this Japanese dude.
He's like the best player in the world yesterday, and he just absolutely steamrolled the American.
I feel like you would – it's actually very, very competitive and hard to get.
You know how hard the shuttle comes off the racket?
200 miles an hour.
But then it slows down to like five miles an hour after a second.
Yes.
It's very strange how that works.
You seen that?
Yeah.
I was watching it the other day.
It's fucking wild.
I don't know.
I need a full list of the events.
Like there's handball.
There's some obscure ones.
There's speed walking.
The walking one seems like that would be an immediate one to go to.
But you've got to imagine there's some absolute ringers out there.
You should do vortex throw.
Oh, if that was an event, I would sign up. Did you guys watch the 3-on-3 basketball, which is essentially just pick up basketball?
Yeah, it's kind of fun.
It's really bizarre.
Yeah.
It's just, I don't know what I would go with.
I've been thinking about this question all weekend.
I would find the least popular one, the one that just a handful of people in the world even know about or play,
and I would just go for that one.
I would try to find the least competitive team one.
You can sneak into the Olympics as not a great athlete.
You can.
It's doable.
Ooh, okay.
It's true.
What about if you were the last man off the bench on a handball. You can. It's doable. It's true. What about if you were
the last man off the bench on a handball
team? I feel like
that could be something.
You know what the one that I
absolute, the opposite, outside of
the obvious ones, track and field, basketball,
water polo.
That's a tough sport.
I love watching it.
A little over-whistleed. A little too many whistles.
But that is intense, man.
I was good friends with someone on the water polo team back in the day,
and I have to say that you have to be pretty built.
Core strength.
Dude, it's insane.
The only whistles I like are on my football tips, Dave.
Is that me playing handball?
Like low-key?
Let me see it.
It's not.
Dude, I'm soaring.
Dude, that's me.
That guy's about to just bring it, though.
Dylan, do you think, since you don't have to be athletic, pool volleyball?
If there was pool volleyball in the Olympics, that would be what I would go for.
Absolutely.
Would you Italian serve it?
I live above the net.
And with that gelato serve?
Uh-huh.
It's not a gelato serve.
Do you guys watch any fencing?
Yeah, I watched some last night.
They have to wear so much shit.
They have to wear so much shit on their body in order to like...
They're getting stabbed by a sword, Will.
No, but they're wearing like sensor stuff.
They have like cords hanging off of them.
It looks like they're like Love Island people.
Their little helmet lights up when they get a point.
Really?
If you look at the back, they have things hanging off of them that are definitely powering whatever the sensor is.
And it just seems really annoying when you're trying to stab someone to have a walk boy plus or talk boy plus just hanging off your ass.
That is weird.
It's like the super soaker backpack.
Yeah.
I don't know.
They would have a better system for this than just having a bunch of shit hanging off your best athletes.
Fencing.
If they had an event that was lighting poo on someone's doorstep
and then lighting it on fire and running away, I would win that.
I don't think that's a Olympic sport.
But it could be.
Do you know anyone in your life who's been into fencing,
has participated in the sport?
No.
That's the thing about these sports, man.
Only a handful of people actually
It's like three private schools.
to play them.
It's just weird to me.
I feel like only affluent schools have fencing.
Fencing.
Yeah.
Water polo.
Yeah.
These are Ivy Leagues.
Polo polo.
Polo polo.
Is that in?
That's not in the Olympics, is it?
Polo?
Yeah.
Marco polo.
Water polo.
Will loves Marco Polo.
I'm a Sharks and Minnows guy.
I'm sorry, man.
We played that at your wedding.
I hate playing Marco Polo more than anything in the world, man.
We literally played it at your wedding.
I hate it, dude.
Do you remember that?
No.
Was I with you?
You weren't in the pool because you had an upcoming wedding.
Yeah.
But I was in there, and I think some of your nieces were.
It was actually pretty fun.
I love my nieces to death, but the one thing they do that just, like,
kills me whenever I hang out with them is that they just want to play Marco Polo all the time.
And I'm like, guys, this is a bottom-tier pool game.
We can do better than this.
But they just love it.
So I always end up doing it.
If there was cul-de-sac, tennis ball, home run derby, that would be my event.
So you're just making up fake sports that no one competes in,
and you're saying that that's what you would qualify for to win the $50 million?
That is what I played the most growing up.
Didn't you do a lot of chicken fighting?
No, I didn't do a lot of chicken fighting.
You were the base.
Do they have nutball in the Olympics?
I'm all about that base.
We'd be pretty good at that.
No, they have doorknob.
Olympic doorknob.
We used to just play a game called Game On,
and the person that called Game On, they'd just yell, Game On,
and then you had to cover your nuts,
and the person that yells Game On was allowed to punch anybody in the nuts that they could find.
That game stinks.
No, it was stupid.
My buddy brought it up the other day, and I was like, why didn't we play that?
Bloody Knuckles.
The fact that I have a child is amazing right now,
based on some of the games I played when I was in high school.
We never did Bloody Knuckles.
We traded licks.
Dylan has big Bloody knuckles vibes.
A big high school thing to do amongst my white trash friends
would be just a bunch of dudes because chicks didn't hang out with us
and just drinking beer and then just punching each other in the shoulder.
What's wrong with adolescent boys?
You'd wake up and your arm would be immobile.
Dude, yeah, we traded licks last night, man.
What knuckles did you put out?
What do you mean? You always had to put out a knuckle when you were punching someone in the shoulder. Oh, dude, yeah, we traded licks last night, man. What knuckle did you put out? What do you mean?
You always had to put out a knuckle when you're punching someone in the shoulder.
Oh, we didn't put out knuckles.
Oh, I always put out a knuckle to make sure that there was, like, an extra little, like.
This.
What's your problem?
The key was to get them with this and, like, just kind of glance them, but it would go deep.
It's stupid.
Very dumb.
I'm glad tiny arms are in because that means people are playing this less, you know?
Oh, God.
Did we ever decide what the answer was for your hypo?
No.
And I still don't know what I would choose.
I kind of want the backers to reach out and let me know what you'd choose.
There are some events that we don't even know about.
I think I'd try to make the handball team.
I think the handball team is my best bet.
That's definitely an option.
Because if I trained for three years to be like, do they have a goalie
in handball? No, a goalie
you get too exposed. I think I just need to be the last
man on the bench. The goalie in water polo
is just out there on an island.
That's the
worst position in the Olympics. Just treading water
nonstop. Just treading and like
he's just guessing which way. If I
solidify myself as a glue guy within
the handball community,
and they're like, no, you just want him in your locker room,
I think that's my best shot.
You're like a savvy veteran who just started playing.
Can you imagine just them panning on the bench
and just seeing a bunch of Olympic athletes,
and then just me on the end of the bench drinking a liquid IV,
wearing bird dogs?
You're just clapping, walking around.
There's an event called Pasque Palota.
That's a drink.
That's a Paloma.
It looks like that.
That's an Olympic event.
I know y'all can't see.
Will would do an Olympic hacky sack.
Oh, I forget there's boxing.
Canoeing.
There's canoeing and kayaking.
Cricket.
There's croquet.
What?
I don't know if these are actual still sports, though.
Because I just went to the entire list and I didn't see any of this shit on there.
Is breakdancing, wasn't that a thing that's happening?
They had to have taken that away, right?
Okay.
Yeah, you're right.
This was only in the 1900s.
That would maybe enter that.
Just pop, lock, and drop it.
True.
How sick would it be to do the croquet in the Olympics?
Are you kidding?
Croquet. Is it time to get out of here in the Olympics? Are you kidding? Croquet.
Is it time to get out of here?
Yeah, I don't know, man.
I'm having fun.
Yeah, we're kind of tired of hearing you, though.
That's the issue.
You know, podcast week is underway.
It feels pretty good.
It does.
I'm really excited for Saturday.
Me too.
I'm really excited for Saturday.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.