Circling Back - Graduation Ayahuasca & Golden Tee Machines
Episode Date: May 8, 2024We officially have a Golden Tee machine in the office, THE Ohio State's commencement speaker did too much ayahuasca, Ric Flair not happy with the pizza place manager, RIP Panera Charged Lemonades, and... more. Enjoy a free one-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (12:55) Golden Tee Machine Has Reached HQ (34:20) Ohio St. Commencement Speaker SUCKED (43:10) Ric Flair (51:30) New York Blanket Couple / RIP Panera Charged Lemonades (59:50) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Mugsy: www.mugsy.com (enter your email for discount on site!) Twillory: www.twillory.com (WASHED18 for $18 off purchase of $139 or more) Lucy: www.lucy.co (STEAM for 20% off) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
we are coming day after day we are coming
all right we're back circling back podcast wash media headquarters austin tigzes Wash Media Headquarters. Austin Tiggs. My name's Will DeFreeze to my left.
David Ruff.
I think I'm ready to declare a winner in the Kendrick Drake thing.
You ready for this?
You know who the winner of the Kendrick Lamar Drake beef is?
Who you got for us?
Fans of hip hop.
Wow.
Wow. Stop. Stop. beef is who you got for us fans of hip-hop Wow Wow stop stop what I see
plumbing why'd you just Kelsey plumb that she's so zany need the whole thing
was orchestrated so you're trying to say those things aren't related Kelsey plum
though Kendrick it'd be funny if she somehow found her way into the
kendrick drake beef single she's single i couldn't that video the video of her at the basketball game
was a certified ick i'm kind of into it okay certified ick for your boy but the video of her
with her laser rocket arm hurling a t-shirt into the stands yeah she could throw away she could
throw a vortex further than your boy that's for sure she's an athlete for sure I'm kind of I'm
kind of into it yeah I know you are she's all you know quirky Randy was saying like he was surprised
she didn't underhand it into the stands and I was like what the is your problem yeah save
her arm from injury it's true it's a good good spin zone randy fogs to you a la izquierda
uh that's left i don't know my lesson rights that's true so you can't call me out for that
good point uh good attempt a la derecha yeah there's a palpable buzz in the office today
and that's because we got a new toy, a new arcade game.
We got Golden Tee in the office.
And it's been fun.
It's been fun.
I rolled up this morning, and Dylan set it up.
How early did you get to the office today to do this?
I got here at 8.45 today.
Okay, because it was surprisingly unpacked when I walked in.
I was very surprised by what was going on.
I wasted no time.
I didn't even crack the laptop open.
I just unboxed this big thing, rolled it into place, plugged it in, and it took me a while to connect it to the internet.
Miracle of the internet, Wi-Fi.
But we are up and running.
My favorite part about getting the Golden Tee machine is that this opens up Dave and I to each get something for the office that we really want.
Yeah.
And so –
Dave already says he wants a golf sim.
Yeah, I want to up this thing.
Has Topgolf not just figured out like a way to make like a simulator that's like cheaper and easier?
No, I guess that would take away from their normal business, right?
Like a portable one to take home?
Not like a portable one, but like I'm surprised that like there isn't some like some quick fix yet for this.
They're all so expensive they're they're never gonna have that
because top golf will always be around because for my money there's nothing cooler than just
pulling up to top golf with your golf bag on your shoulder in your own golf glove and just ready to
hit some balls ready to show your first date how you can work it left to right. And then an influencer from the next bay over will just walk over and just straight up jack
your chicken wings right in front of your face and you do nothing about it.
Dude, it's just a jacking and broad daylight.
If you're a guy out there and you're like, or anyone out there, if you're out there and you're
like, man, I would love to get some more fun in my life. I should maybe join a Topgolf League.
The cool thing about the Topgolf Leagues is that most people just take their hybrid and
just mash the ball to the back of the net and stack points there.
And so it's just a hybrid contest.
Is that what people do?
That's what a lot of people were doing when we were doing it.
And I was like, cool.
I'm really glad that I met Topgolf on a Monday night at 10 p.m.
Just hitting hybrids into the back netting.
That's lame.
Yeah, yeah.
I had fun doing it, but like, I don't know.
The teams that we were up against,
I legitimately didn't like them.
Maybe that was the competitive nature coming out of me.
Why is it that every league like that,
pickup hockey, softball, Topgolf,
it's all really late?
Yeah, it's so late
You have to do stuff
If you want to continue
Making friends after 30
And you want to join
Like a league like that
You're going to lose sleep
The softball games
That I
I helped out
With these guys
It's like 9 o'clock
Oh yeah
And it's crazy
And it's not close
To Central Austin
No but they do that
With like kids stuff now too
It's crazy
It's out past the airport
What are we doing?
I stayed up
I stayed up till 1am On Monday night p.m last night just playing video games
i'm a wild man you can't stop it feels like your own fault i feel like an ipad kid because i just
have headphones on listening to music loud i'm sitting there with a controller in my hand and
pure silence in the room outside the headphones obviously just absolutely glued into the screen
losing track of time like i'm in a casino so when you're playing fifa you don't communicate with the
no i think you can but like a lot of times there's a language barrier so like communicating
just not really an option at that point and uh like other times i just don't really want to talk
to the person who could possibly kick my ass like i think I'd get legitimately upset if I had a stranger laughing at me
while he dunked on me 5-1.
If it was one of you guys,
that's a different story.
I would just play music
because it's the universal language.
It's true.
Everyone can understand that.
Are you saying I should start singing
to the people that I'm playing against?
I am.
Maybe I'll just toss on some Grateful Dead
on a Bluetooth speaker and set the microphone next to the Bluetooth speaker I'm playing against. I am. Maybe I'll just toss on some Grateful Dead on a Bluetooth speaker
and set the microphone next to the Bluetooth speaker
and enlighten them.
Or some Japanese jazz.
Yeah, we could do Japanese jazz.
I mean, I'm more partial to Japanese folk music,
but the jazz will work as well.
When you're playing someone online,
you talk to them the whole time?
No.
If you want to?
No, no.
We just went over this, Dylan.
God damn it.
I'm sorry.
No, it's okay. I'm sorry. No i'm not i'm not built for communication with strangers outside of a cold
call right patreon.com circling back podcast did you guys have fun during yesterday's cold call
episode so much fun dr uh dentist dr mckenzie is a dog steve's a dog too. Carolyn's a dog. We spoke to several dogs yesterday. That's
true. I think I love cold call. It's no, it's a lot of fun. But the issue that I'm going to have
now is like, I just want to call Dr. McKenzie like all the time now. I want every cold call
to finish with me just asking him questions about my teeth. Yeah. Any person that's willing to hit pause
on their Central Market grocery trip to talk to us,
that's a cool person in my book.
Mm-hmm.
Was that Carolyn?
Who did that?
Hard to say.
Shout out to Carolyn.
Shout out to backer Carolyn.
Yeah.
To all the backers who picked up,
thank you guys so much.
You guys make the show what it is,
so it's pretty fun to do.
And thank you guys for being good sports while we do bits on the phone and you're just going
about your day and avoiding work.
It's a fun time.
If you want to go check it out, go opt on Patreon.
Again, patreon.com slash circling back podcast.
We also have, let me see, as of this morning, Dylan's going absolutely viral for his mailbag
on wash.substack.com.
That's per use, though.
Just doing numbers.
You had a lot of dating app questions this week.
Yeah.
A lot of people out there on the apps or maybe getting off the apps because they're not having much luck.
Is it Randy sending it from his burner email accounts?
Dylan, could you give me some tips?
I don't have tips.
That's how you talk.
I don't have tips on there randy's disgusted right now wendy wendy on the apps hi randy on the apps we know you are hey will he's never done that before hi will no didn't hit but
didn't hit as well and when i knew it wasn't authentic. YouTube.com slash circling back.
Go subscribe to YouTube.com slash washed media
because that is where we'll be live streaming
Dylan playing Golden Tee.
More on that in a few minutes.
If we get 100 subscribers between now
and when Dylan goes live,
I will drink a Gonster live on air.
Are you familiar with Gonsters?
I became familiar this morning when
you explained to me what it was. Dude, the boys have been calling me Gonzo at the bars lately
because I've just been on my Gonster shit. So do you bring your Monster with you to the bar and
then order a Guinness or do they have them at the bar already? I've contacted my regular haunts and
I have asked them to procure some regular Monster for me so that I can make my Gonsters really
easily. Luckily for us, we have
pallets upon pallets of Guinness from the Guinness ad deal just sitting at the office. So I can drink
Gonsters pretty much nonstop. Babe, what's wrong? You've barely touched your Gonster.
If you're trying to make a Gonster at home because it's the drink of the summer,
just make sure you do the Monster first and then you put the Guinness on top of the Monster so you
can get that good separation between the slime green and that dark kind of chestnut color.
We also have a joint sitting around the office.
That's marijuana, for those who don't know the term.
Reggie.
I'm taking it back.
I want it.
Well, I was going to say, like, for X subscribers by X time, we'll spark it live on the stream.
I'm totally fine with hot boxing the studio.
We'll burn down in the stew.
I'm fine with that.
I have no problem doing it.
Yeah.
Brett smokes cigs in here.
Smoking a joint in the studio is much more feasible.
I think so too.
And I can tell that you would smoke that joint with your chest,
unlike Brett, who just like didn't even inhale the cig.
That was such a bad deal.
How do you not inhale a deal cig?
It was such just delivery. Everything about that was a a bad how do you not inhale a deal sig it was such just delivery everything about
that was a bad deal my favorite part was that i could be as put off as i was because i could see
how put off dave was by the entire situation just get out of here they had no showmanship
no it was like a it was like a timid and then just walked right outside he should have kicked
his feet on the table really loudly sat sat back, lit the cig, taken
a huge rip from it, and then puffed it out in the
conference room.
I don't want to see his flip-flops on the table.
That's true.
Come on, man. You can't put your
rainbows up on the conference room table.
Dirty-ass rainbows.
We don't want the bottle
opener on the bottom to scratch the table.
There is a bottle opener element in there. Hand up. I own those don't want the bottle opener on the bottom to scratch the table there is a bottle opener element in there i hand up i own those reefs that had the bottle opener
uh i bought them because they were a formidable sandal at the time not for the bottle opener
itself but it was kind of tight having it did you use the bottle opener no i was like 14
um that was during my period of time when I was subscribing to Surfer Magazine for the reef ads for the girls on it.
And I ended up just getting some reefs.
And they were fun.
Good sandal.
Brett said there's been 40 subs since that tweet that you put out.
Okay. So 60 more.
Okay.
And it's gonster time.
YouTube.com slash washed media.
YouTube.com slash washed media.
You probably already subscribed because that's where we did Happy Hour Live from.
But got to say, I think this has more juice than Happy Hour Live had,
even though Happy Hour Live was lit.
It was a gonster mash, they're saying in the comments already.
We'll do the gonster mash.
Oh, yeah.
This has juice.
This is going to be fun.
Fun forever.
The track house?
The track house.
I kind of like that.
You talking about track ballers?
Yeah.
I do have several questions
regarding the golden team machine but can we hear from our friends over at twillery first yeah
meet twillery the performance menswear brand that brings life-changing functionality to your
wardrobe i mean you can wear these things from the golden team machine to the golf course not
even have to worry about it i got some i got some golf shorts from twillery that are just dark green
no one's making dark green golf shorts it's swag i feel like you can find them some places yeah maybe some other places but when i
saw the twiller had like the the actual like good material for golf i was like yeah i'm in
dylan got a blazer and just used all of our money on it because you know it's all about dylan these
days we don't have to bring that up every time we do a twillery well here's the thing like
it was a good enough blazer that we were like, yeah, you can do it. Like if someone's going to get a big splash item, might as well be Dylan.
I ate at Randy's anniversary dinner.
Not the food, but like the.
Yeah, we all ate.
Yeah.
Okay.
It was a meal.
Right.
Were you mothering?
Hungry.
I wasn't mothering.
I just looked dope.
Randy was serving.
He was.
But not actually serving.
Right, right, right.
He had a waiter.
A paid waiter.
That's right.
Well, they headed to the office or the airport, Twillery's
line of suits, shirts, polos, and jeans
will keep you cool. They won't wrinkle and have plenty
of stretch to keep you comfy.
To top it off, everything, including the suits, is
machine washable, so no more trips to the dry
cleaners. It's a special offer to our
listeners. Use code WASHED18 for
$18 off your first order of $139
or more at Twillery.com.
Again, that is WASHED18 for $18 off your first order of $139 or more at twillery.com again that is washed 18 for $18
off your first order of $139 more at twillery.com twillery tailored for performance
so what's the damage on this thing the golden machine that is they've quote tweeted us on their
their x profile somewhere between viral a hundred dollars and a hundred thousand okay okay
so people can just google what the cost of it is um we got a deal on it though they're kind enough
to give us a discount i tweeted earlier that i haven't seen this locked in in a while uh dylan
dylan put in an absolute shift this morning on the machine just getting his his i don't know
what do you call it you're not getting your swing back.
I'm getting, I'm recalibrating.
So the truth is I haven't played the game in years.
Like it's been several years since I've spun that fucker.
So I'm back on the ball.
I'm spinning it.
And you got to, look, there's a lot, the wind is crazy.
The greens, they're doing this, you know.
So you got to figure out where to align the trackball.
It's a whole thing.
Is it hard to adjust to a brand new trackball?
Or would you rather have one that has a little grease on it?
They're pretty consistent.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, you have to understand.
Might be a little dust on the trackball.
You understand?
Yeah.
This is actually a brand new trackball.
But there might be. Yeah, there might be a little dust on there i guess yeah i guess from the factory or something
yeah straight out the box man so this is we're talking brand new rig what'd you shoot your first
round uh my first full round i decided to do so they have it's a pga tour collab machine now
they have actual courses i did sawgrass tpc sawgrass and i shot a 21 under
it seems really good uh i i got much lower in me but where would you like to where would you like
to be at sawgrass with that kind of that kind of setup um i can get to 26 27 28 under somewhere
in there okay uh here's the thing though The stock character that they give you has a stock set of clubs.
And the more you play, you build up points, and you get to purchase new clubs.
Wow.
Can you purchase it with actual money?
Like, can we just skip that process?
You can.
Is it expensive?
I don't know.
How many V-Bucks do you need?
I don't know.
That's good.
It's cryptocurrency.
Yeah, we're smoking crypto.
You can extract that shit from the internet.
But it helps you go
low like you you hit your driver longer for example so it shortens the holes a bit so that
i gotta i gotta build up my character and you can purchase new new balls that have you know
more or less spin however you want it it's a whole thing when do you start doing bits with
your character yeah can you make him frat can you give him like zero inch inseams and a high
crown visor i'm gonna make him the goal to make him as frat as i can make him frat can you give him like zero inch in seams and a high crown visor i'm
gonna make him the goal to make him as frat as i can make him yeah the the crown of the visor
needs to have more length to it than the inside of his shorts is it true if you do like 35 under
you there's a crank reveal yeah yeah it's like it's like the final boss i think the lowest round
ever like the pros i think they've they touch like 34 or 35 but for that to happen
but okay when they do that a conditions have to be perfect because the conditions change every round
wind goes different ways and some holes that you just can't approach a green depends on all that
stuff but also they'll play the same hole on their same conditions all day long so play the same or
not the same hole the same course so they'll play it 30 times and just keep like keep figuring out ways to score and that's how
they get to that number it's really difficult to do but there's also like a strategy to it is it
hard to play after you've had a couple of monsters um that i don't know i don't know i don't know
how that the gun's gonna find out out how the monsters affect the swing.
I've never played golf on a gangster,
but we're going to find out.
I'm so excited.
This is going to be a fun,
a fun little experiment.
Do you have an idea for when you'd like the first live stream to be?
Cause we have certain things we need to work out right now,
such as branding,
such as a name for the actual stream.
Is next Thursday doable.
Randy talk,
looking at you.
I don't know. I have to figure out
the beep-bop-boops and all that.
That was me doing an impression of Dave doing an impression of me.
No, definitely not Thursday
considering I will be out of town.
And also,
Cheer Boy!
He's not going to be here either. Sorry, bud.
Sorry, bud.
Ooh, is that next Thursday?
I'm going to be gone.
Where are you going to be?
I got that Gonster convention.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Yep.
He's going to a Gonster chug rally.
I didn't catch that invite.
Yeah, it's only for pros.
That's good.
Yeah.
That's good.
It's just me and my boys getting together and vaping and drinking Gonsters.
Have we even settled that Thursday is going to be the day for this?
Thursday afternoon feels like the best time to do it.
Thursday afternoon feels great for it.
Yeah.
I have not figured out anything about this yet.
We never have recordings Thursday afternoon.
We rarely do.
The office has got good vibes
on a Thursday. Everyone's always here on Thursdays.
So the next Thursday,
it's 15 days away.
It's too long. I'm horny for it. Randy, what... The biggest thing is the next Thursday, it's 15 days away. It's too long. I think so, too. I'm horny for it.
Randy, what?
The biggest thing is the computer situation, how we're actually going to stream it.
Okay.
We need to purchase a computer.
Let's have a meeting.
Let's have a meeting.
Otherwise, yeah.
Okay.
Meanwhile, I'll just be getting reps in.
Hey, just go find a way.
Go buy one, dude.
We'll get you back.
Send us a receipt.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Figure it out.
Okay.
I just free rate oh cool if by the way if you're handy on the trackball and you have access to a machine we can challenge
we can challenge people elsewhere oh can you do video elsewhere with those people or is it like
if they have a capture card i don't know i don't know what does the capture card do dave
I don't know.
What does the capture card do, Dave?
Captures.
So are these, can someone go to their local bar if they have this version and play against you?
Or do they have to have like the at-home version?
That I need to figure out.
There's no way any of us know that.
I'll do my homework.
I'm just, you know, I got stuff to do.
But it's going to be great.
Yes.
Fun. I would definitely like to try to get the first stream within the month of May.
Yeah, it has to happen sooner than later.
It cannot be 15 days from now.
I'm ready to start gambling.
Yeah.
Live in-game betting.
You can actually win money via this machine.
I saw a $40 contest today or something like that.
Yeah, it's real USD. i want it in crypto though oh i don't know if there's a crypto play there's always a crypto play i just ask that you
guys don't bring that shit around the office okay because you won't be able to keep your hands off
yeah i've been so i've been sober for two weeks now from crypto from cryptocurrency hey what if we call it choppo trackball okay a listener called in and said track what was it
a track house i like i do like the track house is good track house is good because it's a track
ball golden hour has it's been pointed out that uh noted comedian chris delia who has uh some
allegations against him.
Yeah, he's got a podcast called Golden Hour, so the branding there might be a little tough.
Whatever.
I associate Golden Hour with Casey.
I do, too.
Yeah, I do, too.
I don't want to do that.
She's the realest in the game.
I don't want to try to take her thing.
Yeah, but how sick would it be if she reached out to us and was like, y'all, that's mine.
Give it back.
The nicest cease and desist ever.
Hey, guys.
She goes to Dylan's profile to dm
about getting the ip back and dylan's got that mario graphic just sitting there just waiting for
she'd like that i think she'd like that casey seems normal you go queen
this is gonna be fun man i think you gotta have gonster in the name
the gonster hour that sounds really good i just drink people will know exactly what it is I think you got to have Gonster in the name. The Gonster Hour?
That sounds really good.
I just drink Gonsters?
People will know
exactly what it is.
Like, oh, this guy's
playing Golden D
drinking Gonsters.
I just saw Brett out there
getting some swings in.
I need to show him.
19 over, I asked.
Yeah, he...
Not great.
I saw him four putt
number eight
triple bogey. That's tough. Not great. I saw him four putt number eight, triple bogey.
That's tough.
Not great.
That's tough.
Can you play Roy Kaiser?
Weirdly, Roy Kaiser is not available on the Golden Tee machine.
That would be a huge miss by them.
Is Moe Willie?
Yeah.
Good.
No, it's not.
Good.
PGA Tour courses.
The TPCs are pretty much all on there, I believe.
So is Austin Country Club?
Is that a match play?
Is that PGA?
I'm not sure.
It is not on there, no.
It's not an official PGA venue.
We are going to have you build that course.
Mm-hmm.
You can create your own courses on there.
That sounds not fun.
And you submit them and they get approved.
That sounds like the shit that you do once you've gotten really good at the game,
that you're no longer having fun just playing it.
And you're like, all right, I guess I'm going to go build a skate park in Tony Hawk Pro Skater for the next six hours.
You get really into Vyvanse.
I also forgot how frustrating the game can be.
It's so tough.
Some of the holes, like the fantasy courses, they're like the ones that are really tough.
They get tougher as the holes go on.
Like number one is easy.
18 is impossible.
It gets frustrating. But that's part. 18 is impossible. It gets frustrating,
but that's part of the whole challenge.
It's fun.
Kind of jealous.
You have a reason to look forward
to coming to the office.
Who's stopping you from hopping off?
I'm bad at it, though.
Well, everyone's bad
when you don't know how to do it.
I like being in the office,
but if I had my... A record player?
Yeah, my version of a golden tea machine,
it'd be over for you guys.
Which would be what?
We gotta think about that.
I don't know.
I don't know what it would be.
Like, I'm trying to think of something.
What, Randy?
A candle making station?
You did Tony Hawk,
and you were pretty good at that.
Yeah, but Tony Hawk doesn't have
a dedicated giant ass machine.
DDR.
Go back to your drop the bomb days.
Well, let's give you a DDR.
How sick would that be it would be
sick but i have certain here's the thing i have certain i would only do it if i had a certain mat
will's just sweating in here because i won't do it on certain mats certain mats just don't play
to my strength when i'm dancing and so like they have certain ones that you have to actually like
pretty much press your foot down on i need toe. I'm light on my feet on this game.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
I mean, I don't.
We can look into it.
I don't hate the DDR, man.
What if we stream Will doing DDR?
I want Drop the Bomb, dude.
It's so funny.
Did you play DDR a lot?
We had DDR Extreme 2, I think.
We had mats for the PS2.
There's a song.
It was called drop the bomb
by scotty d and it's the only song that i ever completed a hundred percent perfect you know
there's a pretty strong ddr community out there oh it's crazy and like but i could never enter
that community because that community plays at the arcade oh yeah and though like if you're an
at-home ddr person if you're doing in the comfort of your own basement, it doesn't translate.
They will just commandeer those machines for hours.
And they're just sweaty mess at the end of the day.
It's a thing.
They've got it at Dave & Buster's.
A girl I asked out one time caught me playing DDR in my room.
Oh, no.
Yeah, she walked in and I was just shirtless, just absolutely just grinding on the mats.
Is this a real story?
Swear to God, dude.
Swear to God. That's awesome. Did she hop on with you? No, she didn just grinding on the mats. Is this a real story? Swear to God, dude. Swear to God.
That's awesome.
Did she hop on with you?
No, she didn't hop on the mat.
She just kind of sat back and watched me cook.
Yeah, I was like, hold on.
She was so turned on by it.
She was just like, damn, Will, you crazy.
God, this guy moving crazy.
I forgot about my DDR phase.
Speaking about cook, I want to get you guys on Overcooked.
It's a kitchen game that you guys all have to collaborate collaborate and play you guys start yelling at each other it's hilarious
you guys would love it is this like a like a twitch thing that people do uh i mean they probably have
in the past but it's a four-person co-op game where you have to like create meals and stuff
need some more info on this kitchen game overcookedcooked. How does one win? You have to complete as many
of the orders
that are coming in. Are you like a line
cook? Yeah, it's like all four of you are line
cooks. Nice. That'd be really fun
to watch. Well, Dylan's obviously going to win that.
It's cocaine. It's a cocaine
joke. Hey, you cleared
the cocaine jokes on the mailbag
today. I addressed it, yeah.
I was actually proud. I was reading Dylan's mailbag and someone i addressed it yeah i i was actually proud i was
reading dylan's mailbag and someone asked him about the different bits about him and where they
rank and uh when you when you said that the sorority one was your least favorite i'm actually
pretty happy with how little we make those jokes these days it doesn't happen too often anymore
oh i think i knew that you stopped you didn't like that one like specifically so i think i just yeah
i mean being being a 40 year old man uh and a father it's just like oh you're into college girls this is not the best look
and so yeah oh i don't want to explain that one off you know then why do you have a countdown
timer for bama rush week i don't there we go hey by the way 69 god happy uh mary cutter uh release
album release day oh yeah celebrate
oh yeah i haven't spun it yet but i'm sure it's gas is it on uh spotify dude is climbing the
charts what are you talking about yeah it's a sandwich between randy travis's new single
welcome back by the way and who's the other one morgan wallen morgan wallen just behind jelly
roll if you want to know the state
of those some heavy hitters they all came out with stuff today do these guys woke up today
and they're like they're doing the uh jimmy butler meme looking like like who's this mary
cutter climbing the charts it's the devil's money okay do you get it is the the Tale of Sloppy Joe on the album? Nope. If not, it's a huge mess.
How do you spell cutter?
With a K.
It's a K?
Oh, I got it.
It's just fire, man.
Dude, she's doing numbers.
Devil's Money has 763,000 streams.
Yeah, I've got some questions, but yeah.
She has 56,338 regular monthly listeners.
You think she's gaming the system, Davey dude you can't game the spotify system i have no proof of that but she's got a following name an
artist you like dylan oh i sort of like them all tyler childers okay that's not that's not gonna
drake that's not gonna no drake's not gonna help even more. You want an up-and-comer? Yeah. Mount Joy. Okay.
Okay.
So like Mount Joy is pretty popular.
Yeah.
Like people have heard, at least heard of Mount Joy.
They've seen them on like a thing.
Like they're really popular.
They do, oh, they do 6 million monthly listeners.
So that's a lot more than Mary Cutter.
How are they not at ACL?
They're like festival band number one.
That's prime ACL.
Camp and Mount Joy.
Yeah.
Mount Joy.
Like bands like Mount Joy should like, you know, and I don't know what I'm going to say. Nevermind. No, no. Let's hear one. That's prime ACL. Camp and Mount Joy. Yeah, Mount Joy. Bands like Mount Joy should...
You know when...
I don't know what I'm going to say.
Never mind.
No, no.
Let's hear it.
That's it.
You're halfway there.
It's going to suck.
It's going to suck.
I love it.
Let's go.
I was going to say, I'm surprised that the words Mount Joy aren't just ingrained on the
ACL lineup graphic as if they've been there for a long time.
It's burned into the screen.
Yeah.
Because there's certain bands that I just don't know, but I've seen them on big ticket festivals. up graphic as if they've been there for a long time it's burned into the screen yeah because
like there's certain bands that i just don't know but i've seen them on on big ticket festivals like
a million times i discovered them five months ago so they're new to me which is fun swag they're
good welcome to the six and a half million people streaming them regularly yeah what was the band
randy you name dropped to me when i walked in yesterday mannequin something mannequin pussy
that's a great
band name i'm not familiar with their work i'm not either they just popped out on the lineup to me
oh man i'll give them i'll spin them later most mannequins don't have there they are the equipment
yeah okay mannequin pussy yeah it's like i see you i don't like saying that how many monthly
listeners does mannequin pussy i don't know i don't like saying that out loud. How many monthly listeners does Mannequin Pussy get?
I don't know.
I don't know how to find that.
I've closed Spotify.
Their top, their most popular song,
which appears to be called Romantic,
has been spun over 11 million times.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, they've got 547,000 monthly listeners.
So they've got about 10 times the following of Mary Cutter.
I'm going to see what they're about. times the following of mary cutter i'm gonna
see what they're about i'm gonna play them i'm gonna go check them out hopefully mannequin bussy's
opening for them dylan they had their their top song on spotify right now is actually uh about you
uh seeing casey musgraves drop instagrams it's called loud bark that's. That's good. That's good. How do you settle on that name for your band?
I don't know.
Pussy Riot.
Famously imprisoned in Russia.
Are they still imprisoned?
No, I think they're out.
They need to get out.
I always like to name butthole surfers.
That was a good one.
Remember them?
The Dallas band.
Are they buttholes that surf, or do they surf in buttholes?
It's a good question, Will.
I don't have the answer, unfortunately.
It's a real bowling for soup question there. They a big uh beavis and butthead staple
butthole surfers beavis and butthead were obsessed with the butthole surfers because
it had butthole in the name yeah it's pretty much it yeah oh man there is a time where i could
i could pull that out for my bunghole okay parks that bit. I don't know where he learned it.
Cornholio.
He does the t-shirt thing and he thinks it's hilarious.
The t-shirt thing is good.
Yeah.
That's not even for like just beavis and buttheads.
Little kids like to pull their t-shirts over their heads and like run around when it's
time to like put on PJs.
It's like, no, I'm going to put the shirt on my head.
They think they're doing comedy.
It's like, it's not that funny.
Dave's doing comedy right now.
He's doing Kelsey Plum.
Take your hood off, man.
People were saying that you don't have a mullet anymore.
Yeah, what's up with that?
It's bullshit.
What's up with that?
We met up with Bro Bible Brandon yesterday.
Shouts to Brandon.
And we took a pic together, and my mullet's just not even in it.
By the way, it just feels like your regular hair now.
Yeah, I'm so numb to it that if someone says something to me about it i'm almost surprised i'm
like it looks really normal to me but then there's other times when i i see a photo and i'm like
that's not normal keep it going it's not that bad it's it's not only not that bad it's actually
really good it's kind of it kind of gives me like a pretty boy swag i i agree yeah it's a pretty boy
swear see my master's hoodie i went to the masters it looks
very comfortable hey can i bring something up that's not on the rundown but it ties in with
our next um sponsor yeah so we're doing a meetup in chicago shy town um
so there is a friday element which is at the Muggsy store on...
Armatron?
Downtown.
Yeah, downtown.
East of the river.
Y'all crushed that.
Really prepared.
I was looking for dinner options for after, because I think our play would be like a late dinner.
This thing.
And...
Do we want to go... Do we want to do a steakhouse? Yeah, I want to go to a steakhouse?
Yeah,
I want to,
Daddy wants a steakhouse
in Chi-Town.
If we're going to do
a steakhouse dinner,
Friday's our only opportunity.
the only opportunity
we have to do a nice dinner
or a nice meal
is going to be Friday.
Here's the thing though,
we're going to be
a little faded
and it's going to be late.
What time is the event?
Steakhouse dinner
at 8.30,
9 o'clock,
I think is the play.
What are we doing in Portillo's? I don't know if we're doing portillos portillos what are we doing portillo
i don't know if we are i think we might want to do the wiener circle oh lights back on uh
because it's gonna be a wriggly wood like that place so yeah it's funny though the place is good
it's called the wiener circle yeah love it I'm surprised you guys never watched the TV show with Wiener Circle. I want to get a t-shirt there.
They're so mean to you.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, is that the place?
Yeah, they're just mean to you.
Really?
I can see Dylan getting offended.
What's your problem, sir?
They just yell at you for your order.
Is that like Dick's Last Resort, where if you wear a tie, they cut it, and they hang it up?
Oh, God, that's so lame.
It's not as gimmicky as that.
Has it ever been to Dick's?
I haven't, but I've seen it.
Is that where that video I saw that young lady sets some onion rings down
and then she takes one and gives them the bird and eats it?
You seen this one?
It's giving Dick's.
Okay.
Okay, we can go there.
They also have a slide.
Can we be mean back to them?
I don't.
I'm not mean to people, so I wouldn't know.
Okay.
I don't bully.
Okay, well, I'm going to look for a steakhouse.
There's one that's been recommended by a number of people,
and it's a little pricey, but let's see.
Are we going to eat?
Bivets.
Are we going to eat some very mid pizza?
We could just walk on the tab.
No, I think Dave has vetoed the deep dish pizza officially.
No, no, no, no, no.
That'd be the only time we could do it.
We only have two nights there.
That kind of stinks.
We'll do parlor for brunch on Saturday.
You could stay an extra night, player.
Why'd you throw me under the bus like that, bro?
We haven't even bought flights yet, have we?
No.
That's the one thing we have yet to purchase.
If anyone has a private jet they want to send our way, we can just do that.
That'd be the easiest for us.
So any backers that have one.
That would be great.
Hit the DMs.
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Buckeye Nation, OH.
Stand up. What are you guys doing over there the ohio state university what is ohio state doing how do you not vet a commencement speaker who's going to talk about
he had a powerpoint presentation ready to rip to talk about cryptocurrency and vibes basically yeah and he just sang so um his name is chris pan okay and um he's actually
a graduate of the ohio state university class of 99 follow that up with harvard business school
cool man smart fella he is a social entrepreneur isn't it easier to get into the business school
at harvard than actual harvard Who let anybody in, yeah.
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah, you're not that smart.
I have no idea.
Probably not.
He's an investor.
Should we apply as a bit?
Keynote facilitator as well.
Okay?
Okay.
He spoke at the commencement ceremony, as Will mentioned. And in the lead up to his big speech, he went on his LinkedIn.
You guys are on his LinkedIn.
You guys are familiar with LinkedIn.
And noted that he had done some things to prepare for his speech.
He got a little help from AI.
You familiar with AI?
Artificial intelligence.
Nope.
Allen Iverson.
Ayahuasca intelligence.
Wow.
They just did it to him.
Yeah.
Let him cook. So he had a little help. He said
he tried chat GPT, but it wasn't as good as the ayahuasca. So he did a little bit of that,
did a little soul searching. And the result was, I watched way too much of this online.
The whole thing is posted. And I probably watched 12 to 15 minutes of it
and it is one of the most bizarre things you've ever seen and as soon as he starts going into
his segment on cryptocurrency extract that shit from the internet um you just hear audible groans
and boos yeah like which is phenomenal that's not the time to peddle the crypto stuff like i'm
you know there's a sing-along portion of the speech.
Numerous.
Yeah, there's a breathing exercise, which all of these things are positive.
Well, at least the latter two.
But I just don't know.
I don't know who your commencement speaker was.
I don't really remember mine.
Like, in high school, the valedictorian speaks.
And I remember his speech.
I actually do because it was right after 9-11.
And he was a very like good, like, yeah, got the boys ready to go out and go to college and learn some shit.
Yeah.
We didn't.
But we felt like we were going to.
This is just, I don't know what this was supposed to do.
But he just starts talking about the decentralization of currency and um
inflation nobody wants to hear about inflation they're just trying to get out of there go to the bar yeah just toss out some quotes and call it a day like what are you doing
he grabbed headlines though you gotta give it to him i looked him up i'm about to add him on
linkedin hopefully his team follow back dave ruff, T-State commencement speech, win.
So he did ayahuasca to write the speech.
Did he also do it to deliver the speech?
No, I don't think he was on it because I can't imagine.
I don't think you can really deliver a speech on ayahuasca.
Can you hold a regular conversation with someone who's on that shit?
Spoken that crypto?
I'm on it right now.
You're on it right.
When did you do ayahuasca?
This morning. I was going to take my... When did you do ayahuasca? This morning.
I was going to take
my antibiotic
and I accidentally
took ayahuasca instead.
Is that why you're throwing up
in the bathroom all morning?
I took a pill
in the bathroom.
Okay.
A lot of people do.
Yeah.
That's usually where
people keep their pills.
Not Randy though.
Randy's different.
He keeps his
in a little pill pocket
that he brings
to the office every day.
Yeah, he's got one of those
like geriatric
pill holder things.
No one under the age of 65 has ever owned one of
these pill holders. Sunday through Saturday,
I got my little vitamins.
Imagine if you were
doing a speech and you just turned into a jaguar.
That'd be tight.
Animorph style.
The jaguar story, was that DMT or was that
ayahuasca?
I believe that was ayahuasca.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Did we ever determine what we'd want to turn into?
Because I think it's giving bird.
It's giving bald eagle for me.
I'm going to be.
That hits a little close to home for me.
Or a shark.
I'm going to be an otter.
Sorry, Dave.
I'm going to be an otter just floating down an eternal.
Stripper. Just building dams. No. Or is that no or is that not just vibing dude beaver not just sick if you're a beaver no i'm just gonna go like this all the time beavers are sick dude they'll straight build
a dam on your ass yeah i will did you see that guy's tiktok he's not like running water at all
who beavers i know randy's oh yeah oh they're out what's the tiktok it's just a it's
just a like a clearly a man-made dam and then like the guy pans over and there's a there happens to
be a beaver in this little area and he goes holy fuck beaver like what does he say like no way this
fucker built all that it's a good t tock i can't believe they're gonna ban that um
yeah so chris pan you are our uh commencement speaker of the week it's good
what would you do what would you take if you were going to pen a commencement ceremony speech in
general doesn't even have to be for a graduating class.
I'd probably just throw a big fat-ass chaw in.
Yeah, I think the move is just putting in an Arkansas horseshoe and just seeing what comes out.
Yeah.
A little red-white dynamite right there in your cheek.
Just a big old hooter.
Hell yeah, brother.
Yeah, just a big old Hoover Dam right there in your top deck.
Hell yeah.
Yeah, me too. Yep. Dam right there in your top deck. Oh, yeah. Yeah, me too.
Yep.
Throw another log on the fire, boys.
It's speech writing time.
Dude, thinking about that, like writing speeches or just like getting ready to study for like a final,
most of the hard work goes into what you're going to do to prepare for it like
gotta go get my sugar-free red bull gotta get a can cope long cut whatever people smoke cigs
that's a big thing the prep is actually more work than actually studying pull up to that fifth floor
out kick just straight up dressed like goblin mode style straight up gobble mode but still fratty
of course like you have to
have that element of course i hope i never have to study for anything ever again in my life
i was so bad at studying yeah but how dope was it when you you got to the enemy like i'm gonna
fuck this test right yeah but that that emotion kind of ended with me pretty early
what why are you doing that to your scantron though you know you're like you're gonna
fuck a test like you know i'm talking about that's a good feeling there was a cool
feeling in high school turning into test being like 100 yeah just did it don't even grade it
just just give me back an a plus oh man i'm gonna i'm gonna call somebody out i didn't i wouldn't
even there for this my buddies went to tech my friend goss who fuck he listens whatever he uh
they had this class and like the the professor wrote would
like write up after like a quiz or an exam he would write like the grades like how many there
were like five in the 50s like one in the 30s you know whatever and he's like they're like uh-oh and
he wrote like there's a 34 and he wrote 34 and. And they're like, uh-oh, Gus, that was you.
He's like, no way.
I studied for this.
I was so ready.
It was him.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
A 34?
A 34 is a bad grade.
You can guess and get a 25.
Yeah.
I have a class that I don't know what I got in it because I think I failed the final and I just never looked.
I never wanted to know.
I get it.
They just kind of passed you like, all right, he's so close. Yeah, I definitely never looked. I never wanted to know. I get it. They just kind of passed you.
You're like, all right.
Yeah, I definitely passed it,
but like it might not have been a pretty pass.
Like it's just,
I don't even like thinking about it.
Handing in that test,
I was like,
I might've just completely failed this course
just because of today only.
Must've been something wrong with the Scantron.
Yeah.
Read my dots wrong.
I used the
number three pencil by mistake i'm sorry are they still doing scantrons i don't know a little dude
you know you gotta you gotta bring your own like what the fuck's that about just supply a scantron
yeah you pay tuition these places like what just give us something we're in the little
fucking blue books you know oh yeah and you had to like break the seal whatever at least the books
for the classes are cheap.
Oh, God.
You go to last day,
you go sell it back.
You're like,
all right, dude,
got some money for the book.
Sorry, the professor
actually changed one paragraph
in chapter seven,
so it's a whole new book.
The professor took
an Oxford comma out of
the third paragraph.
We're going to give you
$1 for this book.
We're going to give you $8.
But I spent $295 on it.
At least it's preying
on college kids who famously have a lot of disposable wealth.
That's right.
Yeah.
It's always great.
The bars hit so hard when you'd sell your books back, though.
If you had a book that was like $125, it was like, I'm going to drink a good beer tonight.
That was sick.
Ric Flair.
Woo.
Friend of Grand X.
That's right.
Fog.
He's a fog for sure, dude i don't know yeah i don't know if he was a friend of grand x i mean he was definitely there he was there he was he was
acquaintance of grand x he rubbed some people the wrong way well yeah afterward finding out
he's like true true my favorite part of that visit was the picture he took with um there were
three people in the picture rick flair uh Brad Key, who was our ad sales guy.
And Ric Flair, when he poses with people, he does the thing where he points at them like,
look who I'm posing with.
Yo, look at this guy.
It's our fucking ad guy.
It's just Brad.
You're the famous person in this picture.
Do you not understand that?
Brad's a really nice guy.
Brad's great.
Most people don't know Brad.
They know you.
Brad looks like he could have played D1
basketball somewhere. Yeah, he's an athlete.
Yeah. Well, he took to Twitter
on Cinco de Mayo
to tell people to stay away from Paisano's
stone-fired pizza restaurant in Gainesville, Florida.
He claimed he was disrespected more than he'd ever been
in his entire life, which I don't really believe
based on him being a professional wrestler
and the things that those guys say.
He spent $1,500, which to me,
that's hard to do at a pizza restaurant.
$1,500?
How many Zot cards are you busting out there, playboy?
He brought the brick oven.
Expensive Chianti or something.
I don't know.
Well, it said he was asked to leave
because of an issue he had with the kitchen manager
who was taking too long in the bathroom.
Mondo.
Okay.
Where is Mondo? Knowing what I know about rick flair just from the little
experience we've had with him and kind of his reputation i'm going to side with the manager
on this one he said throughout the court or flair maintains that he did nothing wrong flair says he
did not curse or accost anyone flair also warns staff about his plans to share the incident on
social media and refers to the man in a blue shirt as nicholas dickhead real name okay he also tells the waitress to give herself a thousand dollar tip
flair says everything was cool until the man in the blue shirt who he then called a dipshit
came along and at the end of the video flair tells the man to talk to him outside like a man
and then a patron says he will take him up on the offer before it cuts off what was this dude doing
in the bathroom i'm reading some mondo time i think it was mondo time yeah yeah probably mondo time why else do people take a long time in the bathroom i don't poop
shame people for taking a long time you don't know what they're going through in there it's
real time all right maybe you had a big turd that got stuck or something you had to pull it out you
couldn't find the knife randy randy loves that so much is that that a known thing? Okay.
It's not.
No, no.
Oh, okay.
It happened to someone we know, I think.
Yeah.
What are you looking at, Dave?
You got any good reviews for Paisanos? Give me a sec.
I told that story last night.
I don't think Paisanos deserves the negative review streak that they could go on if they're
disrespecting Ric Flair.
Here we go.
Hey, Nicholas Dickhead.
We're cooking now.
One star from Ryan.
Zero of 10. Here we go. Hey, Nicholas dickhead. We're cooking now. One star from Ryan. Zero of 10.
Would not recommend.
Paisanos is not good whatsoever.
And they're run by a bunch of liberal college students.
Do not waste your money at this restaurant.
Like Ric Flair did only to be kicked out.
Woo.
Hashtag fire.
Nicholas.
We need to.
Woo.
Okay.
This is before the incident. This is from linda it's a one star this woman is the most
linda looking linda i've ever seen yeah that's a linda looking motherfucker mom energy
ordered from doordash would not recommend pizza was cold and timing was easily 30 minutes past
eta that's why your pizza was cold lady he's usually pizza is good next day nope
had a hawaiian it was good day of only you can't you can't blame a cold pizza on the establishment
that's it's a delivery thing correct come on linda correct figure it out hey linda linda and duh got her who's gonna watch you now oh man duh what a great movie what a movie stream room
the stream room man we should bring that back just to do that we definitely did that movie right yeah
yeah that's a fantastic movie didn't we make you watch nope wow we didn't do okay how they wait
no that was his own separate thing that's what led to you guys starting to do the stream room.
I remember this because I did it as a Dickie Do You Know It question.
Wow.
I went back and looked at it.
You're way too cocky about your knowledge right now.
You're a large media encyclopedia, and it's really annoying.
It's nice to have an archivist on staff.
Yeah, I think the first one was American Pie
because you guys had just wanted to compare it to Can't Holy Wait.
Okay.
Can't Holy Wait's a better movie overall yes but american pie is more iconic hey this trip advisor uh review says it's one dot they do five dots they do dots there i like two dots and a dash
it's from bowtie b mr flair was treated poorly by a run-of-the-mill cook flair has done thousands
of signings with no incidents but we are to believe your poor press release never to return what do you do if you're
the waitress who got the thousand dollar tip from rick flair and meanwhile he's calling your buddy
your your work pal over there nicholas dickhead are you like well i think i'm gonna side with
rick flair today so nicholas wasn't the one in the bathroom not sure he's the one probably
the one who threw him out not sure i don't have the org chart for pasados boy is there a worse
feeling than like if you're in a small place like that and you know it's the cook in there doing
damage doing work and you know that's the dude's about to make your food and you're like can we go
back to that i want to see you wash your hands like you know he's gonna wash them but it's still
like the you know like what just went down do you think like you've been to restaurants where you're in the bathroom with
someone that works at the restaurant like do you think they do you think they are like feeling like
they're under the gun the entire time like this person's just looking at me we're just gonna wash
my hands it's like they're going into surgery yeah yeah so when brett and i were in vegas we
went to the like you know how you can smoke inside in a lot of vegas places yeah i went into the bathroom uh and you know how
like a lot of places in vegas have like the guys in the bathroom who like can sell you cigarettes
or cologne or whatever the bathroom attendance there's a dude in there who was shirtless
smoking a cigar in the bathroom just talking to the bathroom attendants filling the entire place
with smoke and i was initially i was annoyed
but then i was like you know what this guy rules this guy's serving vibing in the bathroom with
the bathroom attendants just ripping a gar bathroom attendants make me uncomfortable well
yeah there's like i can't even pee with someone next to me having a dude like actively trying to
talk to me in there which is not what i want hand you a paper towel when they're just sitting
i'm like i could just i gave him i gave him a dollar for the the towel that he handed me i feel like you with some cologne
yeah the last the last place for a bathroom attendant now is like i feel like the high-end
gentleman's club like that's the only place you'll see a guy in there like well you want some of this
and there's like there's like all the gum you ever want vegas dude yeah vegas is basically one big
strip club yeah in vegas you can get your shoes shined in a bathroom in a lot of casinos, which is sick.
That is sick.
Get your boots shined.
I stayed at a hotel once where you could put your shoes outside of your room at night and
they would return them the next day, cleaned up on a tray with the day's newspaper underneath
the shoes.
It was so drippy.
I was like, this is the coolest shit I've ever done.
That's incredible.
I know. I felt like James Bond bond was it complimentary you got it yeah
totally complimentary shit totally they like have a note in the room that's like if you need anything
cleaned up please leave it outside of the room and we'll do it the shoes are wrapped they wrap
them in paper and put a little sticker on it i was like this is the most luxurious thing i've
ever done i've never heard of that in my life they do something similar down at the saloon yeah yeah what do they what what we'll just shine whatever you want okay yeah they took the locks
out of the door so you just they have a they have a little hole that you put your boot through
we're gonna open door policy here sir cowboy yep do it all by hand that's great i'd like to do a little spit shot fucking rick flair dude why the ting
goes in a spittoon man yeah i know
rick i'm gonna go out on a limb and say rick was probably in the wrong based on my my
brief interaction that's what i'm saying man yeah that's, that's true. That's true. I know he's a beloved person from the WWE community in some respects,
but based on our limited experience with him,
we might need to ride with Paisanos.
Yeah.
He tipped the young lady $1,000?
Yeah.
That's okay.
Well, he at least told her to put it on there.
Who knows if she did?
I bet that he thought that –
I bet he had some ulterior motives yeah with that large tip yeah
yeah based on what we know about him woo woo woo see this couple porking on in the park in uh
new york city no one's saying porking they're parking in the park dude
uh i did see that uh yeah why are you doing that what's the big deal you covered it with a
blanket no one can see maybe they were trying to catch a seagull maybe they just caught a seagull
yeah they were thinking about that is that possible maybe they just had a couple of
monsters at brunch and decided they were going to just like load up go to the park smash it out
but that's what it is do it up i don't know why like Do people, are they not, why?
Were they filming this?
Other people were.
Okay.
I mean, they're under a blanket.
Like, they're totally in the privacy of their own blanket.
Yeah, leave them alone.
Let them pork in the park.
I think what two people choose to do,
wrapped completely up in their own blanket,
in the park,
it's their business.
It's not like anyone we've seen pan. What if they were just doing tickle scratchies under there
yeah what if they're playing magic the gathering yeah i don't have an answer for that i may yeah
maybe you see they uh will pocket pool see they're taking away panera lemonades
you know what that needed to happen do you think these two things are related they could be you can you imagine do you think hold on
what would a panera lemonade be if you combine it with a guinness a pinnace what's charged
lemonade a gonorrhea no that's not a good branding what
randy probably wants to say rhea time or something i don't know don't do it dude
i wasn't gonna do it you combine panera with guinness like a
a penis ah that's good dave thank you randy likes a penis a penis that didn't stick around
is that a what randy what's so funny i don't know that dave really didn't hear you the first time
you said a penis i said penis like immediately oh man first i'm sorry you pulled you pulled a
dylan i'm sorry i did pulled a Dylan. I'm sorry.
I did not sleep well.
You guys are killing me today.
You're getting smoked.
It's okay.
It's okay.
We had a lunchtime.
You know in middle school, you had your lunch table?
Oh, yeah.
That was your fucking table.
Other people try to fucking take it.
Not happening.
No, no, no, no.
And we were all sitting at our typical table,
and one of my buddies was making a joke about the famous P. Diddy song,
Mo' Money, Mo' Problems.
P. Diddy and Notorious B.I.G. song, Mo' Money, Mo' Problems.
Yeah.
And someone got two pieces of pizza, and someone said,
Mo' Pizza, Mo' Problems.
That probably crushed.
No, it didn't crush. Oh. And then he tried to say it again about two minutes Pizza, Mo Problems. That probably crushed. No, it didn't crush.
And then he tried to say it again about two minutes later, still crickets.
And I honed in on this and was like, all right, I'm going to ruin this guy's day.
And I was just like, dude, you know what I say, Mo Pizza, Mo Problems.
Everyone intentionally erupted.
And I rode the coattails of that joke for the next six months.
That's fucking good.
Dude, that kills, man.
Sorry, Brady.
Oh, he's Brady? Yeah, dude. You stuffed him in a locker. He's got good dude that kills man yeah sorry brady oh he's brady yeah dude he stuffs him in a locker he's got good delivery too he was voted class clown
wow pretty good he got humbled that clown he planned the clown sometimes it just needs better
delivery i like that like some people got class clown and stuff like that and then dylan just got
trojan man i didn't win i didn't win mr trojan oh are you going back to judge it again? Didn't they ask you?
I did it once, yeah.
I thought they asked you again, though.
No.
Oh, I must have made that up.
Just the one time.
Crap.
Do they even do it anymore?
Quite the honor.
I think they do, but they may have gotten rid of the swimsuit edition.
That's, come on.
Swimsuit.
Let the boys pop top.
Yeah.
Did they do a Mrs. Trojan?
No.
Just Mr. I don't believe they should i don't think women should be objectified in that way right it should i don't think men
should either agree if i got entered into this like without having a physique like what's a bit
that i would do for the the trojan man bathroom or not bathroom bathing suit part i don't know i i was a boxer i had like
the boxing trunks on i had boxing gloves and i came out there and just was shadow boxing basically
you scuba diver scuba's good yeah i was thinking like the old time you guys to have like the
swimsuits that go like all the way up here that almost look like wrestling uniforms i think
someone did a snorkel now that you say that with like the fins and all that
clopping like just, walking out there.
Just plopping around.
Yeah, there's probably dudes that walked out there like swag and then just the funny guy.
Then I told you about my friend Adam who dressed as a Native American who just absolutely killed it.
It was in a dry seat in the house.
Okay.
Wow.
I'm glad that worked out for him.
Dude, it was wild.
Yeah.
The screeching from the audience.
He looked good.
Was it a respectful?
It doesn't sound like it was, Adam.
He pulled out an invisible arrow from his, what do you call it?
Quiver.
Quiver.
And he just goes like that and lets it go.
And when he let it go, the girls just, it was like the Beatles walked in.
Really? Yeah. Damn, good girls just... It was like the Beatles walked in. Really?
Yeah.
Damn, good for him.
It was cool.
Straight up mashed that button.
He was in really good shape
and he was doing push-ups backstage
and he was completely oiled up
at the same time.
A fun bit would be
to go out in swim trunks
with a surfboard
and have the Spicoli
white sunblock all over your nose.
Yeah, that's good.
That's good.
That's sick.
That's good.
Or the Borat swimsuit.
No, we're not doing Borat stuff. Or just ride out there on the Borat bike. The Bruno bike? Oh, yeah, the's good. That's good. It's good. Or the Borat swimsuit. No, we're not doing Borat stuff right now.
Or just ride out there on the Borat bike.
The Bruno bike?
Oh, yeah, the Bruno bike.
Bruno.
Yeah, you could do that.
Ha, my wife.
Right?
He doesn't have that anymore.
Oh, divorced.
Oh, yeah, she did.
They did get divorced.
That's sad.
It's too bad.
She's being mad respectful about it, but I think it's because of, you know, the stuff.
Missed a lot of that chatter about him and the lady.
This is our move on voice.
There's a crazy event happening.
I like to turn on.
Is it already time?
Let's just go have fun and let go of it.
Let's go.
Ooh, is this weekend in fun?
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Dylan, can I complete this ad read with a question?
Yep.
What are you doing this weekend?
Ooh, thanks Will.
I don't have a ton going on.
Parks has a baseball game.
His last regular season game is Saturday morning at 9 a.m.
right before playoffs start.
The dude is tearing the cover off the ball.
He's hitting the ball so well.
I'm proud of him.
Have they put him up on the batting lineup?
It's, you know, they're little kids,
so they mix up the order pretty much every game.
Is he fast enough for a leadoff spot?
Yeah.
Okay.
He can move a little bit.
He's flashing the leather out there too, which is great.
Really?
Great to see.
So, yeah, I got the game Saturday morning.
He's with his mom the rest of the weekend,
so I don't really know what I'm going to do.
We're supposed to go out to see my mom at the ranch for Mother's Day,
but because Parks has such a busy Saturday,
we're going to postpone that and choose – I think we're going to go the next weekend.
Yeah, and then for for mother's day um i
don't have anything going on like i said i'm gonna go see my mom another weekend so i'm just gonna
lay low and hopefully the weather's good might spend it's supposed to be good weekend outside
might go get a beer if you want to get a beer i'll be around um i drink beers on the weekend
sometimes i'd love to enjoy one with you or maybe some i'll let you get turned up maybe some gonsters or something i'm gonna sip a crippy oh those are good dog we got some really high-end craft beers that's the office
i'll do i was throwing up crippy all weekend because of it i said forget about it huh that's
right that's all i got guys d-man? Ew.
First of all, I just want to say to all the mothers out there,
happy Mother's Day.
I almost tried to jump in with the we are coming.
That too.
I'm sorry.
We've got the last T-ball game slash practice Saturday. Damn, y'all's season's coming to an end.
Yeah, and i don't think
i don't know if there's a summer league i think it did i think we have to wait till fall which
you know he should just round up the boys you know go down to the old uh sandlot yeah i would i
do kids still go out and play stickball i don't know so go get him one of the hats
the main character had that went out to here. The fly fishing hats. Yeah.
Toss that in the fireplace.
Smalls.
He's killing them.
Other than that, man, I'd like to play golf or at least go to the golf course.
I need to hit.
My last two golf-related activities have been simulator-based, which is fine.
But I want to see the real thing.
I need to feel, I want some,
I want to know if I'm chili dipping it.
Okay.
I want to know.
So I might do that.
Randy has issued an offer.
Only to one person.
A post 2 p.m. tea time,
which it might be tough
as I will be probably on
hole 12 at dinnertime.
We'll see, Randy.
I have not committed yet.
Okay.
I'm not uncommittal.
Other than that, I got a lot of sports to do.
We got to get this thing back Thursday night.
We got to even up these series.
It's tough, okay?
It's very tough right now.
Last night was a very tough one.
Staying up the post-midnight bedtime when your team loses in overtime,
it's just not fun.
Not jealous of you, David.
That's part of it, man.
It's part of the story.
What?
Not a good weekend in front of me.
Not a good weekend in front of me.
Yeah, I just looked at the schedule.
I've seen Manchester United plays Arsenal at 10 30 on sat sunday morning which means that uh sunday morning will be a really depressing time um my
wife is on call as she works at a hospital all saturday which means that your boy's gonna be on
double kid duty probably gonna i don't know go out and get some breakfast tacos mob you know
bean and cheese taco can neutralize a three-year-old
quickly i don't really have much going on man i uh they got a big weekend next weekend in las
vegas for the sphere and so i'm not really trying to do much uh a couple beers here and there doesn't
sound terrible the beers were hitting yesterday with bro brandon and made me want beers um but
other than that i'm trying not to spend much money this weekend. I would love to just spend
like, I don't know,
$30 over the course
of the weekend.
Man, I had three beers
yesterday.
Yeah.
Yeah, I sat on the couch
at about 9.30 last night
after watching the season
premiere of Hacks.
You guys Hacks watchers?
Mm-mm.
HBO.
Highly recommend.
Okay.
Emmy-winning program.
Great show.
Okay.
And I went and sat
on the couch upstairs
to play fifa and i was like i feel like shit right now i realized i had three breakfast beers
well i'll be spending that new cutter all weekend too oh yeah oh yeah obviously is she coming to
austin she's the new mary she sold out the moody center apparently damn you know her great
granddaddy was a bootlegger.
What would her heiress tour be called?
Bootlegging is one of them.
One of the heiresses.
She has a song about a reptile in sheep's clothing.
The Cornbread Mafia.
How would a reptile?
It doesn't really make sense.
Is this about lizard people?
That's what I was thinking.
Okay, we're doing this.
We're doing the interdimensional beings thing.
But I think it's just she didn't want to be cliche and say a wolf in sheep's clothing.
Okay.
So she went with a reptile, which that's pretty fucking scary.
A reptile in any other animal's clothing.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't know.
It depends on what kind of reptile.
Is it a lizard?
It's not a party gecko. Is it is it a is it a lizard that's named
after a hot dog that's running for president but that would be really scary it's not gonna happen
get your son a bearded dragon this weekend i'm not getting why he completed a great baseball
season he's he's improved so much over the baseball season let the boy because i'm the one
that's taking care of that little fucker,
and I don't want to.
You're kind of moving like snakes, Broski.
I'm not moving like snakes.
I just don't want a lizard in my home.
There's going to be a situation where the dad says,
no, I don't want a lizard,
and then he falls in love with the lizard
and is always taking care of it.
We have to acquire one for that to happen,
and then it just ain't going to happen.
My dad did not want us to get this Yorkshire Terrier
when I was in middle school.
He hated this thing. And then every night i'd go downstairs
and just see him on the couch just with the the yorkie just on his back and my dad's just
scratching his stomach loving life and i'm like come on dog we can go up to that uh loves out in
ardmore way oh get you a lot lizard i don't want a lot lizard either we can go get some crocodile
drinks down at uh easy's or whatever that's called.
Oh.
Easy, yeah.
That's my plan Saturday.
Oh, I didn't think about it a little easier.
Call out your boy, Randy.
Do you want to hang out with me?
Holla.
Damn, if the squad hits the east side.
Do you want to hang out with me?
On a May weekend in Austin?
We have a reservation for six people, and we have six people currently.
So if you guys, we.
I didn't know it was a.
Name them.
I didn't know it was a resi kind of place.
We got Gordo.
We got Randy.
We got James.
Friend of the pod, James.
And his girlfriend.
And then friend of the pod, Nick, and his girlfriend.
Okay.
Okay.
Find a way.
I thought it was like a really like a hole in the wall kind of a joint.
No, it just opened Tuesday.
I know, but...
So I think it's going to be...
That's the problem.
...small enough that people are going to be wanting to go and there's going to be reservations.
It's all over all like the cool Austin influencer account.
So you know it's going to be a beating.
Gordo already went.
He said great frozen.
So I was ready.
What's the food situation?
Gumball?
Yeah, gumbo, po' boys.
It's all Cajun.
Most mid sandwiches ever created.
Oh, not a po' boy guy.
A lot of bread.
A lot of bread and a lot of shrimp
falling out the back
of that sandwich
with every bite that I take
and I don't like it
when that happens, my friends.
Damn.
I think we got COVID
at that tiny little place
in Noah.
Yeah.
There was like a hundred people.
If we had to figure out
where we got COVID
or where y'all got COVID from,
I think it was definitely that spot.
Remember that guy
blew out his tire
in front of the restaurant?
Randy, what time's your reservation?
I don't know. What time's your reservation? I don't know.
What time's your reservation?
Do I have any?
I will check the group text.
Come back to me.
Okay.
Just saying,
there's some reservations.
2 p.m. Saturday.
Another issue I'm having
booking reservations
for Chicago,
they won't let you do it
until 21 days out.
It's competitive, David. Is that pretty normal?
Yeah, it's competitive.
Do you have an American Express card?
I don't leave home without it.
Okay, because if you put it into Resi, it gives you priority access.
What?
Facts.
I don't.
Pro tip.
I don't like that you're doing this, David.
You don't like me booking reservations? You don't. Pro tip. I don't like that you're doing this, David. You don't like me booking reservations?
You don't trust me?
Davey's booking reservations.
No, get a resi at two.
Let's mob.
Did Will just get a six-person resi at 2.15?
Is he the new Riz King?
Baby Will.
I hate it.
How's my mullet?
Can you see it?
Swag, dude.
We got to get those sides.
It needs more volume out of the side.
We need to taper this.
Poof it out.
Maybe I'll put some product in it.
Yeah.
I'll put some product in it and get it poofed.
You need a poofing agent.
I can't wait to cancel this reservation Saturday morning when I can't fill a table with six.
I'll go.
Just straight cancel that.
I'll link.
We'll see.
I just realized.
No, I can't.
My wife is out of town.
She's working all that day.
I have a six-person reservation for y'all.
Bring the boys.
It's true.
I could bring the boys.
Do they count on a reservation?
I don't know.
Hard to say.
I think you could scheme it either way.
It's one of those situations where if four people are there, but you got your two kids,
it's like, no, we have all six here.
Then the two other people show up, and you just count the kids as nothing.
It's fine Cajun food.
Okay.
Okay.
Good branding.
I freak. Is it it time it's time bye