Circling Back - Hot Dog Pool Parties & Sex on the Moon
Episode Date: April 12, 2021Podcast Week rolls on! We discuss the (fake) hot dog pool party in Vegas, a dude who stole moon rocks from Nasa so he could “have sex on the moon,” Chet Hanks preview of his “White Boy Summer”... music video, and Will’s Breaking News about Prince Harry, Joe Rogan, and Domino’s. Contribute to our campaign to benefit the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society: pages.lls.org/mwoy/ctx/austin21/wmedia Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (5:24) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (22:01) Hot Dog Pool Party (37:34) Sex on the Moon (52:22) Chet Hanks Releases White Boy Summer Video (1:01:10) Will’s Breaking News Support This Episode’s Sponsors Sunbasket: www.sunbasket.com/steam (STEAM for $90 off your first 4 deliveries and Free Shipping on your first box) Quip: www.getquip.com/circlingback (FREE plastic dispenser with any refill plan) Policy Genius: www.policygenius.com Vizzy: www.vizzhardseltzer.com/washed --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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all right we're back circling back podcast presented by busy hard seltzer the only hard
seltzer out there with vitamin C and superfruit acerola.
My name's Will DeFreeze.
To my right, David Carter-Ruff.
Thank you for the introduction, Will.
How are you?
I'm doing quite well, David.
I've got a feeling this is going to be a podcast week to remember.
Really?
Yes.
Is it podcast week?
It's podcast week.
Ladies and gentlemen. And I think it's going to be a good one because we just kicked it off before this pod by just discussing an up-and-coming trip that we're taking.
You actually booked it about seven minutes ago.
Yeah, I wish I had done it last week because I think it would have saved me a significant amount of money, but it didn't.
I didn't.
Should I have given you a heads up when I saw there were only four seats available on the return flight?
Maybe.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Maybe I should have, yeah.
That would have been helpful, but...
I didn't think it through.
I was too excited to book myself.
It was fun.
We were discussing the trip
and just kind of got the vibes going in here
because they were a little bit sus
because Randy's having tum-tum issues.
So we're all kind of like,
okay, man, chill.
But that kind of brought it back up.
So shout out to me for bringing it back up.
It is Micah's bachelor party to be clear here.
So it's going to be a scene.
Where are we going?
Topeka, Kansas?
Yes.
Shouts to all our Topeka listeners out there.
Branson, Missouri.
New Orleans is not going to know what even hits them in August.
I mean, we've seen Micah, like Vacation Micah, a.k.a. Johnny Dallas.
And that was just like a trip to Chicago.
This is his bachelor party.
He wasn't the main event of that trip to Chicago,
but he made himself the main event.
His bachelor party, and it's in New Orleans.
So I don't know what to expect.
It's going to be Portuguese flannel for me the entire weekend.
I'm going to be very breezy.
All I can do the entire time I think about going to New Orleans
is think about what's said in the real-world of the real world New Orleans where they say, it's the NOLA, baby.
Oh.
Oh, gosh.
True story.
I can't wait, man.
It's going to be fun.
Yeah.
Good stuff.
I think it might be an okay time.
Bopping with the boys in New Orleans for a weekend.
Yeah.
Ready to run.
It's going to be just a competition
to see who can outfit the other.
It's going to be a competition to see who can sweat the least
in their dope fit. It ain't me.
Thank God. I don't know if we've got a ballsy read today, but
ballsy. I'm saving some ballsy. I'm earmarking
specifically for that trip. They might sponsor
the whole trip. They should. We'll see about it.
We've got a loaded episode
today. Can we get some announcements out of the way
before we launch into it? First and foremost, the next few weeks, you knew this from last week, but we're continuing
doing this throughout the month. We're partnering with LLS, the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.
We've all been affected by cancer in some way, shape, or form, and we're campaigning to raise
money in the Man and Woman, or in our case, the Team of the Year campaign. LLS does more to advance
science and support patients than any other cancer organization. They're the largest nonprofit dedicated to creating a
world without blood cancers, and since 1949, they've invested nearly $1.3 billion in groundbreaking
research, pioneering many of today's most innovative approaches. If you head over to
WashMedia.com, Brett did a little nice write-up, and you can go just donate right there. Go
make it happen. Also, go mash that follow button on Circling Back Pod and Washed Media.
Also, leave a review and five-star rating.
We've gotten a lot of great reviews lately.
I think we're going to have to do a review seg later this week, maybe Wednesday.
Tell a friend about the pod.
But most importantly, head over to YouTube.com slash Washed Media.
The new video is up.
Wow.
I'll tell you, Randy did a not awful job on this video.
He crushed it.
It's pretty solid, actually.
How did you feel about his locker room celebration?
I skipped over that part, actually.
You know, I'll say it.
He was actually pretty funny.
Yeah, it was good.
It was a good video.
You know, the celebration was just, I forgot about that, that he was doing that.
I didn't know he was doing that part.
Now, we've completely exhausted our CGI budget for 2021 and potentially 2022.
But, I mean, I guess if it drove clicks, then yeah.
Some were saying that the promo video was better than the actual video.
People might be saying that.
Really?
I saw some chatter.
I'm not saying it, but I'm just relaying what I saw.
Did you see Randy dressed as a presidential hot dog cutting down the net?
I did see that, yeah.
It was a specific net.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a very specific net.
That's the exact location I broke my leg.
I didn't see the can of malt liquor that was filled with piss.
I guess someone's picked it up since then.
That's good yeah was dan there just trying to hit three like three-quarter court shots yeah makes sense go over to washed media on youtube like and subscribe leave a comment i want some
good comments going in the chat uh also patreon Patreon this week, Worst Of tomorrow.
Send your worst stories to worstof at watchmedia.com
or head over to watchmedia.com and just fill out the form.
We also got voicemails on Fridays.
We have a nice little new system with the Patreon.
If you're not a voicemail person, you can just sign up and get only Tuesday episodes.
Get crazy with it.
Five bucks a month.
Or you can get everything for $10 a month.
Is it time to recap this weekend in fun presented by Sun Basket?
Wow.
Let's go.
As we said, it's presented by Sun Basket.
If your days are anything like mine, you wake up, you have breakfast, do a little bit of work.
Suddenly, it's dinner time, baby.
You've got zero time to meal plan or prep.
You're just sitting there.
You're like, dude, I'm hungry, but what am I supposed to do?
I don't want to go to the store right now.
Well, I've got news for you.
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Sun Basket, baby.
I'm going to be living off these. I'm living
off these once we have this kid.
I'm always trying to feast on a budget.
Like ball on a budget, but feast instead.
Oh, I get it. You're trying to save money with dinner is what you're saying.
Yes, yes.
We've got a delivery for today.
And we're already saying, like, look, assuming it gets here in time,
this is what we're doing for dinner.
We've legitimately been doing these for, like, the last six months.
You've been buying them out of pocket.
Yeah.
Respect.
Yeah.
Look, I don't try to
pull any punches, you know? I don't have to
pull strings to get it. We'll pay for it. We'll get
the sun baskets. We love this
company. You know what I got in the mail coming my way?
Little Moroccan spiced filet mignons with
roasted spring vegetables and chermoula.
You better be careful, dude. That one's
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these sesame-crusted fish nuggets
with orange glazed veggies? Honestly, I haven't tried those yet, but they're top of my heard about these sesame-crusted fish nuggets with orange-glazed veggies?
Honestly, I haven't tried those yet, but they're top of my list because I love the idea of fish nuggets.
I do, too.
It's a nugget, but it's fish.
How about those blueberry apricot pork chops with sautéed kale?
Yes, please.
Do it.
Yeah.
Dude, I pull up with the cheesy chicken tetrazzini with mushrooms and a green salad.
You know it's over.
I love tetrazzini.
I do, too.
It's so underrated.
It is.
And I don't even know how to make it. I just know my over. I love Tetrazzini. It's so underrated. It is. And I don't even know how to make it.
I just know my mom made some Torch Tetrazzini,
and if Sun Basket can take me back to that feeling.
Torch Tet.
Dude, so good.
And who could forget the spicy southwestern turkey and potato skillet.
Oh, I've had that.
I bet you have.
It's good.
Did you like it?
Yes, I did.
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your promo code steam what's so funny dave um since you asked i've just i'm like envisioning
sam elliott reading some of these dishes in like that's very sam elliott voice and
just making me laugh in my head i enjoy that. Korean kimchi fried rice with panchetta.
I'm Sam Elliott and I approve of this message. All-time mustache on that guy.
Truly one of the goats. All-time. Oh, he's definitely, that's a god to your mustache.
The best to ever do it. Yeah. He's on the Mount Rushmore of stashes. Absolutely. Is it my turn
to talk about my weekend? Yeah, go ahead, dude. Can you get it over with? We didn't even talk about it.
Pretty solid weekend, if I'm being totally honest here.
Am I projecting into the mic a little bit so people can actually hear you?
I had a very solid weekend.
A lot of golf.
A lot of Masters watching.
Dude, that's sick.
I had parks on Friday and Saturday.
We got a dinner off with my dad on Friday night.
That was fun.
We went and saw Quinn, which is the name of my new little niece.
Quinn.
On Saturday, went down to San Marcos, brought them dinner down there.
It was a nice little evening.
Dylan, I'm also an uncle, and I have a niece named Quinn as well.
Do you really?
I do.
Why are we just now discovering this?
I don't know.
I like to keep it private.
I don't discuss my nieces and
nephews publicly. Are you bullshitting me?
No, I want to make that up. Are you bullshitting
me? I'm not. Is this straight facts?
Yeah. Big facts?
Dude, facts only.
Oh my gosh. Too far up that facts machine.
Freaking odds. Let's get a facts machine
in here. We need one. No, we don't.
Should we do a new segment called the facts
machine where we just spit out crazy facts? That's a good segment. That's coming Wednesday. That's not bad. Write that down. We're
doing the Facts Machine on Wednesday. We each need to come prepared with one wild fact. I look
forward to it. This is great. We're doing it. I can't wait till we forget about it and Randy
brings it up right before you press record and then we get mad at Randy for bringing it up.
Yeah, for sure. Oh, this is going to be good.
And then Sunday, a little bit more exciting than my Friday and Saturday because not only did I watch some of the Masters tournament,
there was some linking, some mobbing.
Building?
There was a little bit of building even.
KJ was in town.
He and some of his friends came down to this part of central Texas, I guess.
I don't know what I'm trying to say.
You can just say anything.
Well, you get the lake and the river, which are both around this area,
but not exactly in Austin.
Anyway, KJ was here.
So we linked with him at one of Dave's favorite spots.
I forgot you were there.
Chili's too?
Bay was with me, so Dave got to hang out with Bay.
I called her by her name.
We're still doing Bay?
I called her by her name.
Brittany was with us. we had a great time uh yeah i just got got a few drinks and then i
closed out the uh the day by uh eating a little sushi with with a with bae of britney that's so
stupid that's such a stupid word but i love love it. Anyway, a great weekend, really.
You done?
Yeah, man.
What's up with your dumbass weekend?
I think you just did it for me.
What did we do?
Friday, you left out some crucial information.
What happened?
I met up with y'all at the same place.
I linked with you and Brett.
We allowed to say, yeah.
Do you not remember when cons was? Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Do you not remember when Kahn's was?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah, we went up with Kahn's.
You know I hate the name drop, but.
Yeah, I know.
Captain Kahn's.
He's been on the live stream a couple times.
He is a noted barstool personality.
That's right.
And just a very nice and engaging guy.
Don't forget his lovely fiance.
Lovely fiance.
They had a nice wedding at the Driscoll.
Did you turn her into your little whiskey girl, too? No, no, I didn't. Don't forget his lovely fiancée. Lovely fiancée. They had a nice wedding at the Driscoll.
Did you turn her into your little whiskey girl too?
No, no, I didn't.
Cons looked like he would F me up pretty quick.
I've learned one thing about cons.
You don't turn his fiancée into your whiskey girl. Don't you dare.
They've only got one little whiskey girl.
Her name is Sally.
It's unfortunately my wife.
Sorry.
I went home. It was a good time um saturday just just heavy golf man
what a master's weekend we had just just great great golf randy got a chance to mob with some
new dogs at the park had a great time there uh sunday was of course day. KJ was in town. Dylan stopped by with pay.
We stopped doing pay.
It was just a good, you know, normally,
I like to watch the Masters in the privacy of my own home,
but KJ was in town.
We found a good spot.
We had a good TV by us, and it was a good bar experience.
We had the collective gasp when uh hideki put one in the
water that was the that was like the only bar reaction moment that and then when when zander
almost uh had to say i dunked it from the sand there was that there was a gasp but like other
than that it was it was fairly like pretty timid final round is, you know, shout out to Hideki.
But fun weekend.
Shout out Japan.
Seriously, shout out Japan.
Shout out what?
Japan.
You killed that.
Thank you.
I don't want to make it about me.
The win?
Yeah, like this wasn't. That makes sense.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, you really didn't do anything.
So, do contribute.
You did have a friend that had tickets to the Masters this year, though, which is cool.
Whoa, really?
Who?
I guess last year.
I'm trying to think.
I don't think I know anybody who went this year.
Do you?
You know somebody who went in 2017.
We're not bringing that up.
We have high energy today.
We're all happy because we're booking a trip to New Orleans together.
But now you're sitting over here bringing up the time that you went to the Masters without us.
Look, if I could have had you guys there.
It was no world bartending championship, but I'm sure you had fun at the Masters.
Dude, I got to do a run-through on my phone because I got to find the video of that dude who was just killing it.
He didn't get the dub.
He kind of got wrong, honestly.
I thought he deserved the dub.
The girl from Cyprus got it, dude.
She was aggressive.
She was good.
She was good.
She was good, but that guy just had a little bit more swag.
Is that KJ?
No.
It was Brett.
It was a big game.
Doing a little tinky, I think.
I bet KJ is hitting up IHOP or something and doing just a full course breakfast.
That sounds dope right now.
He stayed the night in Austin last night.
Swag.
Very cool.
Yeah.
Will?
What'd you do, man?
What'd you do with Dave's little whiskey girl this weekend?
I had a weird weekend.
So I actually did a lot of work this weekend because I launched this candles over on Sunday Scaries.
And that meant that like I had a bunch of pent up energy yesterday because I was just taking photos of the candles.
I just doing, you know, candle bullshit.
You know what it is.
On my grind.
Oh, yeah.
And so like once it was all done yesterday, I was like, man, like I've kind of worked over the last like three days trying to get this stuff done.
And so Sally and I decided to do something that
was a little reckless and we decided to embark on our final date, date night before the baby's here.
And so we decided to go to one of our favorite restaurants that we go to very selectively,
Jeffrey's. And are you aware that they do half price wine on Sundays?
I was not aware. I guess they answered the phone, eh?
I wasn't aware of that either.
And so I had this grand plan when we were going to go there because I was going to keep some in the tank. I did it, not to brag, but I had just one beer three different times during the Masters
yesterday. Did you let it rip a little bit? So I went there and I was like, you know, it's half
price wine only for bottles. So I was like, and Sally's like, just get a bottle of wine for half
price. And she ain't drinking. She had a little sip.
But she was like, but they can just cork the bottle and give it back to you.
And we can just bring it home.
It's not a big deal.
Well, I underestimated how bougie that place is.
And they brought out a decanter.
And they decanted it on the table next to us and just had it sitting there.
So then I started having these feelings.
I was like, man, I don't think I want to ask them to put the wine back in the bottle that seems like broke boy shit i don't even know if that's possible
i yeah i was like i'm sure they have a funnel they could use but like i don't i don't know
if that's acceptable in terms of sommeliers and stuff like that that's so day class a you don't
want to do it dude right yeah did you not bring like a yeti i should have brought a yeti just
like hey can you can you pour this in my 32 ounce with all the stickers on it yeah and so so i had
no choice i had to drink the entire bottle of wine.
You had to.
That's the thing.
Yeah.
And so I'm not going to lie.
On the car ride home, I had something happen to me that has not happened to me in years.
Oh, no.
I had the hiccups.
I had them for like an hour.
I hate the hiccups.
I couldn't get rid of them.
And I was like, oh, this is going to be ugly.
I feel like that's a staple of drunk will.
Hiccups?
Yeah.
It's just been a minute.
It also didn't help that all I ate before we went to dinner yesterday was just a bunch of beer cheese.
Dude, yesterday was a day to have weird food.
I just ate pretzel crisps and horseradish beer cheese the entire day.
I did smoked chicken wings from the truck at Bolden Acres for lunch and dinner.
Were they smoking? They were fantastic. No one's doing chicken wings from the truck at Bolden Acres for lunch and dinner. Were they smoking?
They were fantastic.
No one's doing chicken wings from the same place for both meals.
Not only that, I had them Friday when I left there,
and I also had their brisket patty melt, which was really good.
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah, I abused my body this weekend.
It was not a wonderland.
I'm sorry, David.
They look good, though.
That's okay.
At least you're not
Randy's gut biome.
Yeah, what's his deal?
There is a stomach bug
going around.
Be careful.
Yeah, thanks for bringing
it in here, man.
Appreciate it.
He's laughing.
Yeah, great video.
It was good.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
What's Randy's problem?
He's got, like,
a little pep in his step
because he spilled salsa on his boy.
Why are you just recklessly throwing salsa around Tex-Mex restaurants, Randy?
That's not his fault, dude.
They need to do something about that at Matt's.
They've got the graded metal tables, and their salsa is on like four little legs.
And if you bump it, it could easily tip over. And they're very generous with their salsa pours.
You know what would solve this entire problem?
If they just put the damn salsa on a little saucer.
Agree.
It changes everything.
How do you not have a salsa saucer at this point?
They don't care.
They don't care.
It's terrible.
If you wear white jeans to mats and sit outside,
it's pretty much guaranteed that you're getting salsa all over your white jeans.
Dude, I haven't worn jites to Matt's in a long time.
Jites.
My white jeans.
Weans?
I haven't worn the weans either.
I can't even wear my white shoes.
I don't own white jeans, man.
All I want to do is wear a big, long white tee.
Don't confess that, dog.
We're going to edit that part out.
You need some white jeans.
Do I really?
I don't know.
You don't have white jeans?
I do.
White jeans summer?
I feel like my ass pops in them.
Really?
I'm pretty happy about mine.
Yeah.
Oh.
Just saying.
You might be a little late on those, Dylan.
Yeah, I know.
I can't do it now.
I bought black jeans last fall.
I didn't wear them even one time.
I don't know why.
What's your waist?
Yeah, I've never seen you wearing those.
32?
I'm a 32 boy.
Must be nice, man.
It doesn't make sense.
I lost 15 pounds in quarantine, and I still have the same waist size.
Because you've been thickening in all the right places.
It doesn't make sense to me.
Yeah, I don't know.
Well, that sounds like a tremendous closeout to the weekend for you, Will.
You know what I should have done?
Actually, I did make a cocktail with Micah on Friday afternoon.
He stopped by to drop off some stuff that he had borrowed from me,
and we made a liquid death cocktail with sparkling water.
How'd it go?
Okay.
A little zombie?
My ingredients that I had on hand were not great.
Did you put Campari in there?
So, yeah, we did a little Campari.
It looked like zombie blood.
Shots to liquid death.
Let's go.
We made Americanos, Not the coffee one.
Just the actual drink.
But I had really bootleg ingredients.
Spooky season.
Besides liquid death.
Is that all for the weekend?
Yeah.
Ladies and gentlemen, the weekend.
It's over.
The weekend's done.
Officially.
Have fun, everybody.
We can close the book on the weekend.
Let's talk real quick about Vizzy.
You guys ever heard of these guys?
Pretty much made my Saturday.
I'm going to say this.
It's peak Vizzy season.
Everyone is tagging us.
People are drinking Vizzys left and right because people love antioxidants,
they love vitamin C,
and they love the unique and delicious flavors that they have brought to the table.
It's the summer of Vizzy.
I'm trying to narrow down which lemonade flavor is my favorite.
I still haven't tried the lemonade. The strawberry lemonade is a strong contender right now.
Really?
I have exhausted my supply of strawberry lemonade Vizzy.
I got my eye on that peach lemonade.
I get my peaches down in Georgia. Just for you guys wondering, if that peach lemonade. I get my peaches down in Georgia.
Just for you guys wondering, if anyone's wondering how I get my peaches.
I don't think you've ever been to Georgia.
Have you?
Been to Georgia?
Yeah.
I flew through Atlanta one time.
That was tight.
Yeah.
Is that a bunch of peaches at the airport?
Yeah, I was just hounding peaches there.
Peaches and cream.
But luckily for me, I don't have to worry about that because I can just buy my peaches in a can in a lemonade hard seltzer form.
Let me say something real quick.
Say it.
I mentioned last week that I tried a competing brand that's kind of new to the scene and didn't even compare to Vizzy.
I have seen numerous other people echo my sentiment.
There's an entire Reddit thread on our subreddit about how superior Vizzy is to pretty much every other hard seltzer.
This is customer-generated content.
We don't do any of that.
We had, like, five backers at, like, a baseball game.
I don't even know what team it was.
And there was, like, a Vizzy pop-up, like, RV.
Was it the Lansing Lugnuts?
No, I don't think it was the Lugnuts.
But, like, I was getting this, like, RV from, like, different people who weren't even with this one group.
I was like, dude, what game is this?
Everybody's just mobbing.
But they've got the Vizzy Airstream trailer.
I feel like we need that for the office.
It's a full-size Airstream.
It'll probably take up most of the room out there.
Oh, so you want to bring it inside.
I do.
Okay.
Pairs well with our new fridge.
Sure does.
Get some antioxidants and vitamins in the mix.
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Go to VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash washed.
That's VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash washed.
Must be 21 or older.
You know, Dylan, you didn't include something in your weekend and fun.
That's because I wasn't at this particular pool party you're about to reference.
I don't know.
There's literal video evidence of you being at this pool party.
Was this in Las Vegas?
It's very Vegas-y.
Randy, toss the video on the screen.
It looks like it.
It's got to be.
Oh, it's from an account called Las Vegas Locally.
There you go.
And it appears as though there are three helicopters dropping in very, very large glizzies, a.k.a. hot dogs.
These are straight-up boomsticks.
Into a pool.
They're boomsticks, huh?
These are big boys.
It's weird because the people in the pool, like the lifeguard, everybody's just kind of going on about their business as if there's not a two-ton hot dog being lowered down by a helicopter.
Right over their heads.
It's an unstable hot dog situation.
Two more in the distance, too.
One of the straps moves on this hot dog, and it's over for everybody.
So this video was circulating in the group chat for obvious reasons,
one of which being that we have a host in here who is a hot dog.
Well, we don't.
Well, not only a host, but a BitMadness winning host.
Well, again, not me.
Wait, so is it Randy now?
We figured out.
I think it's you.
I think Randy's just...
Sorry.
After enjoying this video numerous times over,
we finally figured out that this video is just not real.
It's not, unfortunately.
Logistically...
It brings up more questions.
You can't fly a helicopter that close to just a raging pool party.
And if you did, the people in the pool would probably be like,
why is there, like you said, a two-ton hot dog floating above my head?
But the guys are throwing football in the pool like it's nothing.
Also, the fountain, you'd start seeing the fountain spray moving a different direction.
You see, because you know how a helicopter works, Dylan?
I do, Dave.
It pushes air down quite rapidly.
Yeah.
Or something.
Sure.
I want this to be real so bad.
I know.
It would have been so tight if this was real.
But why would they be dropping it down to the pool like that?
I don't know, because what if they drop it in and everyone's just hanging out on this giant floating hot dog?
That sounds tight. Do't want to be this guy but what is the point of this
what is the point of this video i don't know i think to make people wonder why three helicopters
would be dropping giant hot dogs down to a pool to get three dickheads to talk about on their pod
probably that's us so we're not dickheads we're're cool. Dylan. We're not cool. What?
I think it's fair to say that you're tired of being called a hot dog.
I really, really am.
So on the timeline this last week, in the aftermath, in the wake of Bit Madness,
a noted friend of the program, Cat Pat, asked you a question of stand, mute, cancel.
Yeah.
So if you could stand, mute, cancel the bits that some might say go against you, it would be the Zeta house, being old, and hot dogs.
And how did you answer that stand, mute, cancel?
I muted hot dogs, I stand old jokes, and I canceled the Zeta house jokes.
Okay.
I can't stop watching this video.
Would you like for me to explain?
I would like for you to explain because your list actually surprised me when you said what
you were doing.
Because the Zeta thing is like, I really would wish people would stop with that because it's
problematic.
Like it's, it gives off like, like creepy old man, like.
Yeah.
That's understood. I feel like it's taken a step back since the hot dog stuff has come to and like i have like actual people in my life that i have
to explain bits to sometimes so if i like let's say i start dating a young lady yes and she's
like oh why is everyone talking about you dating college chicks when you're a 37 year old man
i don't want to have to have that conversation with somebody. That's understandable. It actually legitimately upsets me.
That's understandable, which is why I don't make those jokes very often anymore
because I get that.
Right.
I feel like that's one that's kind of left our podcast sphere.
We're actually just aging out of it somehow.
Well, yeah, and some of us more than others.
Not to mention I have a son, and he's starting to understand things better now,
and I don't want him to have to question these things.
Yeah, that makes sense.
We've got to talk about the homie, what he did Friday.
What he do Friday.
What he didn't do.
He joined us at happy hour because they've got a little playground,
a very kid-friendly bar.
Refused to fist bump us goodbye.
Refused all bumps.
What's your son's problem?
He doesn't like saying bye.
He didn't want to bump. He wouldn't even
bump cons. He was upset that
I was dragging his ass out of there.
He was having a great time. No one loves
a good Friday happy hour quite like Parks.
Back to the
Stamhut cancel though. Okay.
I muted the hot dog thing because obviously I hate it.
It doesn't really do much harm to
me personally, but I really most of it I just think it's unfunny.
Like I genuinely think it's just not a funny bit.
Oh, I think there's some people who disagree.
Obviously, but it's just –
I can't – look at this video.
I just think it's funny.
I will say that as far as the hot dog bit has gone, if you do Google your name, there aren't any results that come up as you being a hot dog.
So that is a win. seo is strong yeah like the the photos that pop up there's no hot dog photos for
at least a few scrolls okay what if you hey google el glissadente i'm very curious
and the age jokes i can't help how old i am you know i can't help when i was born
they don't bother me the age jokes are funny because of how unfair they are.
It's so stupid because you're only like three years older than me.
Nine months.
Really?
Nine months.
Yeah.
For three months out of the year, you're the same age.
So you could technically be Dave's dad.
That would be weird.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Nine months?
It's long enough to have a baby.
Look, I get it.
How does that work with the gestation? It's hard to say. I don't know what gest don't know. Nine months? It's long enough to have a baby. Look, I get it, but... How does that work with the gestation?
It's hard to say.
I don't know what gestation means, so...
Gestation.
I just watched a video of this hot dog being lowered to a pool.
It's really mesmerizing, dude.
Over and over again.
If we're at a pool at Micah's bachelor party
and a helicopter starts floating over the pool
and a giant hot dog comes down,
are you leaving the bachelor party
or are you going to embrace it?
You're going to say, ah.
Is it a real hot dog or is it like a giant inflatable one?
It's this exact situation that we're watching on repeat right now.
If it's a real hot dog, I'm just very intrigued.
What if you don't know?
I have a lot of questions.
Do you get inside the hot dog like if it's a whale or something?
I feel like you just got to like dig a little hole in that hot dog and start getting inside of it.
Cut that thing up and feed a whole city city you have to ride it down like the uh
the final scene in apocalypse now not apocalypse now what's the kubrick dr strange love dude you're
really flexing your cinematic muscles right now it seems unnecessary kj is in the building folks
have we heard from all right i'm sorry the clappuccino himself has entered that's big
my new bit is to ask randy if we've heard from the guy we extended an offer to.
Any emotion on that?
Wonderful.
He's ghosting us.
We got bread crumbed.
We did get bread crumbed.
We should make a new one called Hot Dogged.
Nah, we shouldn't.
Good thing we don't have any budget for CGI because this video would have already been.
Yeah, we've exhausted it though.
There's no more budget.
We'll get the one way out there in the distance.
Yes.
They're lined up, ready to drop these hot dogs in.
Now, I just want to interview the guy that made this video
so we can just talk to him about, like,
did he make it specifically for us?
Is this a backer?
What hotel is this?
Let's give them free pub.
It looks like it says Red Rock on the side of that hotel up there.
Yeah, I don't know what that means.
I can't really tell.
Are we staying at the Hard Rock Hotel for Mike's bachelor party?
Mm-hmm.
No, we're staying at the Planet Hollywood.
Yeah, I got us a resi at Planet Hollywood.
Dude, my first bachelor party, it was in Vegas.
I was like 22, 23.
We stayed at the Planet Hollywood.
It was so bad.
When we were driving to our hotel when we went to Vegas for 24 hours,
we did
sit at a stop sign for a very long time next to a rainforest cafe and it just got my it just got
my blood fucking going i just wanted to go to rainforest cafe and just have a couple pops
sounds fantastic remember when dan and rachel page got got laid off and they drove to vegas
together immediately went to vegas i love that that's an underrated dan story dan just sent me
a really good text and i don't know if I can share it on here.
They have a Rainforest Cafe in San Antonio.
I'm choosing that for my Washed Media anniversary dinner.
You don't get one.
Why?
What is your actual anniversary?
Of my marriage?
No, of here.
Were you the same as us?
Yeah. Yeah, I think I was the same as you. Well, you weren. Were you the same as us? Yeah.
Yeah, I think I was the same as you.
Well, you weren't there for the early days, man, when Bunsen Burner Media was just going.
Me and Dylan were just in the lab, like, cooking up Bunsen Burner Media.
Like, dude, we got to name it something really good.
Are you guys aware?
Dylan was like, let's do Bunsen Burner.
No, I definitely did not say that.
That was all Dave.
Are you guys aware that if you buy a drink at Rainforest Cafe that you get to keep the glass with the Rainforest Cafe logo on it?
That's huge.
So if you get a fusion margarita, a Blue Nile, a strawberry mojito,
or a tropical getaway, yeah, you get to keep the glass.
Well, what if it's the Blue Niles and it's just Niles if you join the Blue Man Group?
That would be phenomenal.
The perfect drink doesn't exist.
Imagine if this video was real.
What would it cost to have three choppers bring in giant hot dogs to a Vegas pool party?
You know?
Logistically, it doesn't make a lot of sense.
Don't you have, like, an Uber chopper account or whatever?
Yeah.
Have we posted or retweeted this video?
Surely we have.
No.
Did you get tagged in it, like, a million times this weekend?
It only has, like, 100 retweets on that original tweet. So it's it's fairly unknown still i think get to the chopper go on oh that's good
102 retweets man that's all it has it's been live for 18 hours release the chopper a lot of people
are just confused about what's going on in this video which makes sense and it's weird we keep
watching it over and over and nothing's changing finally someone points out like yo this is uh
not real.
I know.
I didn't know until literally minutes before we started recording today.
I thought this was real the entire time.
I'm just devastated about it.
I know.
What if this is like a look into the future of warfare?
Are these self-driving hot dogs?
Do you think hot dogs are flying these helicopters?
New shirt idea.
Drop hot dogs, not bombs.
I do not think that.
I like that.
I like that.
Would that just be insulting if you got nuked by, and it was a hot dog, like a hot dog shaped bomb?
It would be tough.
It's not good.
It would be a tough pill to swallow.
The rope that's, all right, we're getting way too.
It's not real.
But it's perfectly, the mustard squirted on there is perfectly arranged.
It's the perfect mustard.
It's a good mustard spread.
There's a huge lack of freshly chopped onion on there, unfortunately.
But overall, it does look like a quite tasty glaze.
I'm glad that y'all agree that that's how it should be mustarded.
Because some people just do the straight line down the...
That's what I do.
You do the straight line?
I try to do the...
That way is superior, but I do the straight line.
I try to do the swizzle.
I don't know if you'll take offense to this, but I could see you being real on your high
horse regarding how people top the hot dogs.
I could see you being like, oh, that's trash.
Again, I will point out, I'm not a huge hot dog guy, so...
Sally got the one from Pool Burger on a Saturday night.
Really?
I know, because you tagged me in it on the post.
Come on.
That must have been Instagram.
Dude, when I saw that, I got jealous.
I was like, oh, they went to fucking Pool Burger without me.
And then I was like, oh, no, no.
Sometimes, like Instagram, so this happens with our account a lot on Circling Back.
If you do a visibly promotional tweet, it forces you to tag the company that your business partnered with.
So you're saying the Instagram algorithm identified me as the hot dog in that picture.
Dude, it's crazy what that algorithm can do these days.
That's what you're trying to say?
Yeah.
Okay.
The algorithm is against you.
Again, I'll point out I am very much not a hot dog.
Dude, you can't be a hot dog without being hot.
Good point.
So why don't you just wear it as a badge of honor?
If you were a hot dog, you be a um grilled one or would
you be a boiled one dude fuck a boiled hot dog dude said it is it for the boils though
no they're not yes they are is that they might be no one says that
you know what so i go to that 7-eleven down the street that's where they we get the uh
the brett drink and um they have like they have like the hot dog thing sitting out.
It looks good.
And, dude, some of them look really good.
They look really good.
It's a good 7-Eleven.
Honestly, and like the guys are really friendly in there,
and I've developed a rapport with them now, much like I have with the Valera.
There's a lady in there who's also just a pleasure to interact with.
Oh, yeah?
Mm-hmm.
Dude, this podcast will tell you about gas stations.
Yeah.
We're not afraid.
The Valero on Lamar.
I miss that place every day.
It's the best.
It's the GOAT gas station.
Cold brew and kombucha on tap.
It's not the GOAT gas station.
What's the GOAT then?
The LT Market in Lakeway.
It's insane.
Okay.
And it has a view of the hill country, which gas stations aren't doing.
If your gas station has a view, that means you're living good.
Real ones, no.
That means you're living good.
Can we talk about Quip real quick?
Yes.
I've been chewing gum lately.
You guys aware of this?
Wow.
I like chewing gum.
Getting back in on gum.
I'm big on it.
You can brush. You can floss, but chew gum?
Gum is the unsung hero when it comes to better oral health.
The American Dental Association recommends chewing sugar-free gum for 20 minutes after meals.
Think about that.
Are you guys aware of this?
I'm not chewing enough gum.
I'll just say it.
It's something people chew as a way to relieve stress, curb appetites, and most importantly, freshen your breath.
But many people don't realize that gum can also be an integral part of a healthy oral care routine.
I've been trying to up my oral care game.
Really?
Yeah.
I've been taking notes, Dave.
I think you're looking good.
Thank you.
It was only a few short years ago that Quip reinvented the toothbrush for the modern age, and they've done it again, this time for chewing gum.
reinvented the toothbrush for the modern age, and they've done it again, this time for chewing gum.
They've launched a new gum
that's actually good for your oral health and comes with
a dispenser that reminds you of the one-click candy you
loved as a kid. The fact that
it comes with this dope little dispenser just makes
it so swag when you pull out.
You're done with your meal, and you pull this thing out of your pocket
and you're like, hey, have some gum.
That's tight,
dude. It's so sick. They're changing the game.
Have you guys gotten it yet?
It's slim.
Yeah, I got mine.
It's slim.
It's got a travel-ready dispenser available in five colors,
whether you want metal or plastic.
I'm more of a metal guy.
Dude, far out.
Put your fingers down, dude.
It packs and protects up to 10 gum pieces at a time
and fits in just about any purse or pocket on the go.
In a world where you need to be extra safe and hygienic, the quick-release button means you can still share with friends with no wrappers, hands, or hassles.
I never know what to do with a wrapper when I'm out in public.
I'm like, what do I do with this?
Catch me mashing that quick-release button all summer long.
You have to, dude.
It's not a substitute for brushing or flossing,
but it is a great way to support your oral health.
So pair it with a Quip electric toothbrush for adults and kids,
refillable floss,
and more great products.
In addition to the gum packs,
Quip also delivers fresh brush heads,
floss,
and toothpaste refills every three months from just five bucks.
It's cheaper than what you're getting at the store.
And they send it right to your place.
You don't have to leave the place to go out.
Sometimes I get it in the mail.
I'm like,
oh,
this is wonderful. What a pleasure.
Shipping is also free, so you can save money and skip the misery of in-store shopping.
And if you go to getquip.com slash circling back right now, you can get a free plastic
dispenser with any refill plan. That's a free dispenser at getquip.com slash circling back.
That's G-E-T-Q-U-I-P dot com slash circlingback. You can also find the Quip
electric toothbrush, refillable floss, and more in the oral care aisle at your local Walmart. Quip,
the good habits company. Oh yeah. What's with this guy with the moon sex? What's going on here?
Hey, whoa. Have you ever had sex on the moon? I haven't. I haven't had sex yet, so obviously I
haven't. You have a son. Dude, yeah, you definitely have a son. I had sex one time.
Dude, congrats.
Yeah, congrats.
So a dude stole $21 million worth of lunar rocks so he could, quote, have sex on the moon.
You guys aware of this?
Does that translate to roughly like two rocks?
I'm trying to think.
I don't know how big moon rocks are.
How do you value a moon rock anyway, you know?
They seem, I don't know.
Would you rather have a bunch of moon rocks or like a skeleton of like a giant dinosaur like Nick Cage?
What's worth more, a moon rock or a diamond of the same weight?
How about that?
How about that, David?
Probably the moon rock.
I feel like it's more rare.
I don't know, man.
Although the moon is pretty big.
It's right out there.
Yeah, I feel like moon rocks. I don't think they're more Although the moon is pretty big. It's right out there. Yeah, I feel like moon rocks.
I just want to reach out and.
I don't think they're more rare.
There's about to be a dip in moon rocks.
On Earth, they are?
I don't know how you define that, really.
Yeah, I really don't know.
I'm not really qualified to do anything with this segment, so.
Well, do you guys want to hear about our friend Thad?
Yeah, yeah, I do, actually.
Why is his name Thad?
Hashtag Thad.
That's tight. It says, in brief, a few years ago, Thad, I do, actually. Why is his name Thad? Hashtag Thad. That's tight.
It says, in brief, a few years ago, Thad, this just came out.
So it says, a few years ago, Thad Roberts, who was in love with his girlfriend of three weeks.
Love that.
Ooh, she loves First Sight, man.
All-time simp move.
This is an all-time simp move.
Yeah, he's a simp.
He decided to show her a grand romantic gesture by stealing moon rocks so they could jam the rocks under their motel room mattress and have sex on the moon.
But because Roberts interned at NASA, he didn't have to go far for his moon rocks,
but he had to circumvent NASA's security system, a heist worthy of Ocean's Eleven.
Is this a real article?
Yes.
What's the source here?
There's several.
Via the Daily What?
The idea of putting it under the mattress of your motel is just so cheap.
Will you stay in an hourly, like a day's in or something?
It reminds me of people who take soil from their home state if their baby's going to be born elsewhere.
Like Colt McCoy's daddy.
Born over Texas soil.
Colt McCoy.
Really just like you're just in Ohio visiting family.
You know his daddy's spraying a little Texas dirt under his crib.
Right.
Is that a thing?
Do I need to start doing that?
Yeah.
Go get some Michigan soil and come back real quick.
Dude, the soil hits different up there.
I wouldn't get soil.
I think I'd just get some like grass samples and stuff.
Some grass samples.
It's just so lush up there, dog.
Is it?
It's a whole different golf game up there, man.
It gets real chunky.
Yeah, the grass here kind of stinks.
Too hot.
Far too hot.
If only there was a product named Sunday that could aid that.
Wow, that's added value.
Let them know.
Yeah, Brett, send that to the sponsors, please.
You got to do it on the rocks, not under the mattress.
I want to be uncomfortable on those jagged moon rocks and shit.
I want to feel the moon underneath me.
You know what I'm saying, Dave?
We can make that happen.
Really? You have moon rocks?
Send you to the moon.
Oh, yeah, I see.
Ow.
Ow.
Um, yeah, this seems like it wasn't worth it.
Like, the cost-benefit analysis of such a move
just doesn't really add up.
Per The Atlantic, Thad had really big... he had his sights set pretty big in life.
Not only was he a triple major in physics, geology, and geophysics,
he's a gentleman in STEM, which we stan our STEM kings and queens out there.
He's a STEM king.
But he also was determined to be the first person on Mars.
This guy has ambitions.
He wants to have sex on the moon and be the first person on Mars.
Did he throw it all away by this?
This guy did seven and a half years in prison?
That seems a little excessive.
What?
Seven and a half?
Apparently he said, he thought of it as a college prank.
He said, what's the worst they'll do to me?
Yeah, well, throw your ass in jail.
According to this article, he did seven and a half years in federal prison.
Did they make an example
out of him for future people
that were trying to steal
moon rocks to have sex
on the moon?
In their motel.
Did he try and bring them back?
Why the motel?
I don't know.
So this is,
so they pulled him out of
his solitary confinement cell
to help him,
help them when they
had a group of
mercenaries,
ex-military types, take over Alcatraz.
Right?
Because he was the only one who knew about the rock.
I don't know if I like what you're doing or love what you're doing.
So the link at the bottom, though, where it says via the Daily What,
if you click on it, it says,
sorry, the page you're looking for does not exist or is not available.
Oh, no, Dylan's calling fake news.
That's a red flag.
Dylan's fake news right over.
If you go to The Atlantic, I wrote him up a couple years ago.
Really?
Yeah.
Okay, good.
Yeah.
Our boy Thad does not have a good Google search like our friend Dylan does over here.
You shouldn't have said anything because now people are going to try to tank Dylan's SEO.
No, no.
If you tank Dylan's SEO, people will come after you. At some point, I'm going to issue a block notice for all people tagging me in hot dog content.
What about hashtag guy?
It's really taking away from my online experience.
You didn't tweet much over the weekend.
I was thinking about ratioing you, but I went to your timeline yesterday, and there were not very many tweets on there.
I was pretty quiet over the weekend.
Are you scared of ratios, or are you just having an off weekend?
I'm not scared.
He was just watching the Masters, bro.
I was just busy.
I ratioed one of your cockiest tweets recently, and I felt pretty good about it.
Which one?
I don't know.
It was about Dave or something.
What?
You told me.
Is that the one where you were checking in to see if it was ratioed?
Yeah, it hadn't been ratioed yet, but we got there eventually.
Yeah, I remember that.
That's my favorite one.
Checking possible ratio.
Checking possible ratio.
Dude, if you block
Aztec guy,
I'm going to block you.
I don't care
if you block me, bitch.
Okay.
Block Dave.
Say I won't.
Aw, it's...
Block him, dude.
What if I just block Dave?
Hey, do me a favor.
Block me.
I don't want to see
your bullshit on my T.O.
I won't block the people that I know,
but if you're just some random dickhead
that just wants to like,
oh, look at this hot dog.
You know, you're out of here, mister.
You're out of here, mister.
Yeah, hit the bricks.
Bye-bye.
You're gone.
Skedaddle.
Find yourself in the trunk of my Model T.
Somebody sent me a photo.
You guys may have gotten this.
It may have been a snap, but of a photo. You guys may have gotten this. I'm going to snap.
But of a Tommy gun on a wall at some restaurant.
Let's go.
I was like, dude.
That thing.
Be careful.
Did some singing in its day.
Oh, yeah.
I want a Tommy gun.
Would that be a weird first gun purchase for me?
Yeah.
Trying to protect my unborn child and I just get a Tommy gun?
Those things are just made for killing mobsters.
You should get a Thad gun.
I'll give you the count of ten.
One, two, ten!
That was maniacal.
Save that for spooky season.
He's doing Home Alone, man.
Dude.
You don't get it?
No, I definitely get it.
Have you seen this movie?
Yeah, I've seen it, Dylan.
Snakes?
Who's snakes?
The amount of stuff that had to add up in order for Kevin McAllister to have a full conversation using his Talkboy Plus is just like,
it shows that he's playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers.
He did it flawlessly.
Like, I don't know how you do that.
Yeah.
It's just the preemptive actions you need to take in order to make sure that goes off the hedge.
Yeah, and he was using like a, you had to rewind this shit.
You know, it wasn't digital.
I don't know what I'm looking for here.
A cassette tape.
There you go.
I think we had a question on a listener voicemail's email, or voicemail one day, about like the
one thing as kids that we never got, and mine was a Talkboy.
I always wanted a Talkboy.
I think I might have the Talkboy Plus, too.
You don't have to flex that.
I had the pen, which didn't really do much.
The pen, I had the, I think maybe that's what I had, but the pen didn't really do what you
wanted it to do.
It could record five seconds of audio.
Yeah.
Uh-oh.
Is someone getting their ass turned out next door?
Someone's getting poured out.
Someone's having a tough Monday over there.
Oh, yeah.
No better way to start a Monday than having our office neighbor call you.
Someone's going to get the Tommy gun pulled out.
Just wear his ass out.
Come on.
So this dude did heavy time.
Yes.
He did hard time.
It seems excessive.
$21 million worth of moon rocks.
At the end of the day, they're just rocks.
He's just got some dust, you know?
Sounds like he got those rocks off.
That was good.
Thank you. Thank you.
Wow.
Thank you.
I don't know, man.
This is a good story.
If you could have sex on any planet, what planet would you choose?
Uranus.
On the actual planet?
That was low-hanging fruit.
Do I get debris from the planet to have...
You have to go to the actual planet?
You heard the damn question.
Yeah, you can't just steal gases
from jupiter oh gas from jupiter in dawn's bay gas what a dumbass plan yeah how can you be a
planet made out of gas you should do it uh it's not a planet technically in any definition but
you should just go to the sun might as well be be walking on it. They didn't ask me, but
had they asked me when they were deciding which planets
or what, I would have been like, Jupiter doesn't count
because it's made out of gas. You've got to have some
solid foundation there. Might as well be
docking on the sun. That's good.
That's good. You know what I mean, Dave?
It is a gaseous planet.
Jupiter is called a gas giant
planet.
It's made up of mostly hydrogen and helium gas, much like the sun.
The planet is covered in thick red, brown, and yellow-white clouds.
And they're rings.
Jupiter's rings are made up of mostly tiny dust particles.
With the rings?
You can't even stand on it.
It's just gassy.
I don't know, dude.
I don't want to fuck with Jupiter, if I'm being honest.
Jupiter goes hard. You can see it with the naked eye. All that helium in the atmosphere with Jupiter, if I'm being honest. Jupiter goes hard.
You can see it with the naked eye.
All that helium in the atmosphere, you breathe it in, you're doing the funny voice.
I don't think it's going to work that way.
I think you'll probably just die.
Lord have mercy.
Lord have mercy, I'm about to bust.
Do you know what the radius of Jupiter is?
I'll give you one guess in miles.
Dude, don't do this to me.
Dude, it's big.
The radius?
Oh, man.
Dude, what's the radius?
I'm going to guess and say 1.8 million miles.
That's way too many miles, Dylan.
Oh, really?
It's a five-figure number.
I'll give you that.
I was going to say like 61,000.
43,000.
I was definitely close.
The radius is what?
Like halfway?
Half of the diameter?
Hard to say, dude. No one knows.
How do they even figure that out?
Do they bring a tape measure to Jupiter and then do it?
That's exactly what they did.
They had the subcontractors from Nixon.
You had to call them in.
That's exactly what they did.
Subs never showed up.
Yeah, you left your giant ass fucking...
How did you leave your tape measure up there?
Why'd you leave your tape measure in Jupiter?
You gotta clean up the side.
So what's this guy doing now?
Does he have a book coming out?
Hard to say.
Was he smart enough to videotape the...
Yeah, he needs to put that on OnlyFans.
You want to see the sex tape.
I mean, I want him to make money. It sounds like he's probably not doing well. No, not at all. to videotape the the um yeah he needs to put that on only fans you want to see the sex day i mean i
want him to make money it sounds like he's probably not doing well no not at all the uh there's not
much rehabilitation in a prison system seven and a half years in the clink dave you know what i
heard he said before he did the deed he said when the earth goes down we'll be grooving you get it
because like the earth you get to watch the earth go down.
You get it?
I hate everything that's happening.
When the earth goes down.
He just looked at her and just goes, there's a bad moon on the rise.
Ooh, there's a bad moon rising, baby.
There's a Thad moon on the rise.
Okay.
Thad.
He had to be named Thad, didn't he?
Dude, hashtag Thad.
He works for Moon Perfect.
Diamonds have to be more valuable, I think.
Moon Perfect has legs.
Should we start Mars Perfect where we just do trick shots on Mars?
Just no zero gravity trick shots?
Sally told me that she had a dream that Chad got added to the rotation,
so he was actually in the videos.
Really?
Was he your opening day starter?
Dude, it would be so – how sick would it be if Chad was in all the videos?
He appears in a lot of them.
I know, but what if he was, like, celebrating?
Wait, their rotation or ours?
Theirs.
Look, I don't know why Dave's little whiskey girl is having dreams about hashtag, but here we are.
Dude, yeah, well, you've got to have some problems.
Damn, yeah.
Is she dreaming about Chad?
This is an issue.
I was hoping you're talking about our rotation rotation because I've been saying like I don't
mean to tell dude perfect their business they're obviously very successful but like glaring lack
of hashtag chat in their videos like we're great where's life's been in some of them too
oh hey okay Dylan we need flounder in some of them that almost happened yeah we need to get
the call up to the main rotation, starting rotation.
Dude, I feel like one of them is always injured.
Like, that one dude had a boot forever.
Which I guess that's part of the game.
Maybe he's since rallied.
Dude, I killed that.
I hate it.
Can we talk about policy genius real quick?
Because April means a lot of not-so-fun things.
Getting fooled, which you guys all did.
You're kidding.
Getting rained on, because, you know, April showers bring flowers.
And getting your taxes done.
Something I have not even gotten close to doing yet.
Oh, Selena, do it, man.
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I prefer to do that, yeah.
Policy Genius.
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That's what people used to say about it. In Texas A&M,
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Yeah. Had the worst turn radius of all time.
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Policy Genius, when it comes to insurance, it's nice to get it right.
Well, I think this might be one of the last times we talk about him on this very podcast,
but Chet Hanks is back at it.
He's got a music video that's in the hopper that he's pretty aged to get released.
He had quite the weekend.
I'd like to get a full rundown of his weekend in fun.
Yeah, I don't—he could write in for worst weekends,
but I think that might not work because it's literally the best weekend.
Yeah, it doesn't really fit the spirit of it.
Can I play a little clip from his video that he dropped?
Please do.
As long as I don't have to watch the video again.
Okay.
So here's a little clip from what Chet's been up to lately.
It's just a tease.
Yeah, here it is.
It's going to tear right now.
He's a white boy wonder.
Does he low-key have bars, though, Dave?
Dude, does that beat kind of actually hit?
I don't know, man.
I don't think so.
Either of those questions.
I'm kind of bummed that Chet Hanks is around.
I kind of would love to be him for halloween i i don't know man i
uh why boy summer we talked about walking on the sun we talked about docking on the sun he is
he's flying a little close i mean like he is the all the little like gizmos and gadgets that like
have like little red buttons that make little beeping sounds when they're about to explode in his spaceship.
They're doing that and then they're going away and they're going back because he just he can't get enough.
He loves flying real close.
He's been teasing this music video like mad.
He's wearing all khaki in the music video, which I kind of like.
He's going old school West Coast.
Before that, he's just
some young lady just twerking up against him.
That's more
uncomfortable than the music video. His face
is super uncomfortable.
White Boy Summer. Right.
Did I crush that? Yeah.
Do you guys have any guesses of how many Instagram followers
he's gotten since he started White Boy Summer?
215. I'll say
500,000. When do we think that he probably started it?
He doesn't even have 500,000 followers.
Two weeks ago?
That's what I said.
Well, when did WBS start?
You'll see the spike in the charts.
Just tell us.
Let's guess.
So he was actively bleeding followers before White Boy Summer.
What?
And then White Boy Summer gave him a bump.
In the first day of White Boy Summer, he gained 40,000 followers.
Day two, he gained about 30,000.
And he's just been going up since.
Are people, is the novelty wearing off?
Is he starting to bleed a little bit?
I don't think so.
Because I'm about to unfollow him.
He started to stagnate.
He started to stagnate.
March 26th was when he posted the original White Boy Summer.
And that's when he went up from 355,000 to almost 400,000 in one day.
That's when he said, tag a real Vanilla King.
Hashtag respectfully.
Did you get tagged?
Respectfully.
I didn't get tagged, unfortunately.
So yesterday he gained 10,000 followers on the Gromp.
That's a good day.
So he's still doing numbers.
Yeah, he's still doing numbers for sure.
Do we think he might be purchasing?
Dave, I see where you numbers for sure. Do we think he might be purchasing? No.
Dave, I see where you're coming from.
Right.
But I don't get purchase vibes from our boy Chet.
He's out here grinding too much to actually purchase followers.
He's a grind boy, Dave.
It doesn't look like he's grinding that much.
He's a grind boy.
I don't know why he has this in his Instagram bio, but it says zero plus infinity equals one.
All is one.
That's true.
And then he uses an alien emoji.
I think that's in the Bible.
Church.
You dig?
You know what?
I will say he does have good camera presence.
He does.
And that's honestly the best thing he's got going.
He commands the room.
His store for White Boy Summer, he might need to hit up, what's her face from The Bachelor?
That could be many people.
McKenna.
Oh. He might need to hit up McKenna because his store is be many people. McKenna. Oh.
He might need to have McKenna because his store is no longer open for whiteboysummer.shop.
They're going to revamp it so they're not going to just – every product that Shopify or whatever offers, he's not going to just throw some old English on it?
What I want most more than anything about this white boy summer movement is I want Tom's thoughts.
I want someone to get a microphone in front of Tom.
I think Chet's the one hanging out with the thoughts.
Okay.
Fair.
Fair point.
No, I would like to hear.
I want to know what his dad has to say about all this.
I would love to hear about it.
They need to.
Because they just seem so different.
The perfect scenario for this would be to have Tom Hanks host SNL and they do a skit
about this.
And then we just get to see it made into a giant joke.
And then everyone stops like the weirdness of like, are we allowed to like Chet?
Because it doesn't feel like his dad likes him.
I want to know if he has a shaking my head attitude about all this.
I need to know about the dynamic on holidays with the other brother.
What's his name?
Colin.
Colin.
I mean, Tom Hanks only follows one person on Instagram.
And that one person is not his son.
Is it his wife?
It's his wife, Rita Wilson.
You know, they were some of the early patients of COVID.
Oh, were they, Dave?
Australia, right?
G'day.
Aye.
Inject the Fosters into me veins, mate.
I love Tom Hanks, man.
Oh, I've been in so many good movies.
What's your favorite Tom Hanks movie?
Oh, gosh. I don't knowanks, man. I've been in so many good movies. What's your favorite Tom Hanks movie? Oh, gosh.
I don't know. Maybe
Forrest Gump.
It's a classic. People were saying
that Dylan said that
Elton John is underrated at
the bar yesterday. He doesn't
get enough love, man. I feel like he gets a lot.
People forget about his character. He's one of the most decorated
recording artists of all time. He had a movie. People forget,
dude. Dude, his life was literally a movie.
Damn, Last Night was a movie, too.
I'm looking at his roster right now.
If you take the rom-coms out of here, I think my favorite one is probably Catch Me If You Can.
It's a great movie.
That being said, I'm not going to poo-poo Forrest Gump over here.
Forrest Gump's an all-timer.
It is a great, great movie.
I think Big might be his best work.
Big's a great movie, Dave.
I've never seen Big, actually.
Isn't that crazy?
I think it might be too late.
You're not going to fully appreciate it.
That was an early favorite of mine when I was a kid.
If you really want to go back in the catalog,
go on YouTube and YouTube Tom Hanks Bachelor Party.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know if that movie holds up to 2021 standards. Yeah don't know either but there is a time i think there was a
donkey doing cocaine in the first scene there is a glizzy scene in that that i can't even describe
oh i don't know i don't remember this one and i don't know if i want to you don't well
oh white boy summer yeah i don't know man i don't think it's gonna stick how many streams is he
gonna get more streams on spotify day one than uh than Barry Rigby got for Welcome to Wilmonds?
As much as Dylan shouts out Barry Rigby, Barry's got a chance.
I'm riding with Barry.
You've got major love for Barry.
I think we all do.
The B-man.
You love him.
Barry's fantastic.
Do we have any notes on how many streams Welcome to Wilmots has done at this point?
I'm waiting on that royalty check.
No, that's all Barry, dude.
He earned it.
Dave, come on, dude.
You know I don't discuss my finances publicly.
White boy, Summer.
Stop.
It's going to be in my head now.
It's been streamed 17,243 times.
That's not that good.
We need more.
Stream to follower count isn't good.
If we have Welcome to Wilmonds at 100,000 listens by the end of the summer,
if it's the song of the summer, how big would that be for us?
That's what it takes to make the song of the summer 100K?
No, it's probably millions.
Right.
I feel like you don't make that much money off streams.
You always see people, like artists, bitching about it.
I've always wondered how that works.
It's like, oh, you get pennies on the stream or something.
Internet Party's Brad said that, I mean,
John said that Brad's pretty good about calling the Song of the Summer.
Should we preemptively have Brad say that Welcome to Wilmonds is a Song of the Summer,
just trying to will it to happen?
Literally, will it to happen.
Danny Willett over here.
Former Masters winner.
We're not doing that, Dave.
2016.
I don't associate myself with that guy.
I feel bad for him.
He's a scumbag.
You feel bad for the Masters winner who gets to play that?
I feel bad that he's, as far as Masters winners go, I feel bad for him.
I feel like he just gets roasted.
Well, it's not a good move to turn on America
and talk shit about America
right after winning his tournament.
I was his brother.
Whatever.
Danny Willett, get out of here.
Oh, Danny Willett Summer.
Speed just handed that to him, too.
Is it a Danny Willett Summer?
Danny Willett Summer.
It's not.
Speed on 12 that Sunday.
What a major bummer.
Right.
Left Augusta in the hummer.
That's where I was going.
I was trying to think of like, yeah, title list, cap, leave Augusta in the hummer.
Keep the tires, Yokohama.
I don't think he had a hummer.
If he doesn't, that's a bummer.
That's pretty good.
Thank you.
Motherfucker spitting.
This dude's spitting. Dude, you stay spitting. That's pretty good. Thank you. Motherfucker spitting. This dude's spitting.
Dude, you stay spitting.
That's what I like about you.
Spit on it.
You guys ready for some wheels breaking news?
I saw that made a comeback on the timeline over the weekend.
It resurfaces every now and then.
Is that a J-Bone bit or a Micah bit?
Whose bit is that?
It's a J-Bone acting like Micah bit when he had his Twitter.
Okay, that makes sense, I guess.
Spit on it, babe.
Oh, yeah, he tweeted that.
Okay.
With the water droplet emoji.
That should be an NFT.
That is foul.
If we're doing NFTs for tweets, that's an all-timer right there.
Unfortunately, I think Micah went back and deleted all the old tweets when he got the keys to his account.
Micah needs to just figure it out.
Is he retired?
Is he not?
What's the deal, Micah?
Well, Micah's Read of the Week just came through in my inbox.
Oh, hold on.
Let me check that out.
Damn.
Got him.
Hey, I just got another email that came through.
Actually, I'm going to make this a part of Will's Breaking News.
Are you guys ready for this?
Yeah.
What is it?
We got two new tees and a crew neck live on the washmedia.shop.
What?
Mash the button.
I don't know what button you want me to mash.
Just mash one of them.
I don't care. I just want to see what you mash.
There we go. That kind of works.
People enjoyed the Washed Athletic Club gear so much that we re-upped.
Now we have two new tees and a sweatshirt up there for all the people at home.
I'm finna cop myself.
Sweatshirt looks dope. I will say this.
Clip that.
Big facts.
How excited are you for the facts machine?
We need that video, and I want to respond to every tweet we do for the wash store with
that.
I will say, the sweatshirt that's released, it's a little lighter than your normal sweatshirt.
If you ordered a sweatshirt from us over Christmas time.
Is it like a summer weight sweatshirt?
We got the summer weight going right now.
Dude, I move weight.
I love a good summer weight.
I move weight.
You're a drug dealer.
You're an admitted drug dealer on a podcast that goes out to tens of thousands of people.
Yes.
Are you okay with that?
It's more than that.
Yes, I do.
Do you guys want the Will's actual breaking news?
Yeah.
A little choose your adventure here.
Do you guys want to go Royal Family, Pizza, or rogan oh let's go bay yep so you want pizza right we're going bay domino's
noted trash pizza chain is starting robot delivery in houston this week domino's pizza will be
delivering pies with the help of driverless robot cars as a part of a pilot in houston beginning
this week what what if that casino pool party was like a beta test?
They were just dropping glizzies?
Some dude who was getting bottles in one of the cabanas ordered a hot dog and they just helicoptered it in.
Who brings it to the home?
Or do you have to go out to the car to get it?
I don't know, Dylan.
Or do they just drop it at the sidewalk?
It has a little parachute on it.
It's a car, Dave.
Oh, fuck.
You can track the van via text alerts.
You prepay for the delivery online,
and then once the van has arrived,
you use a pin code to retrieve your order from the van,
which are similar to a regular-sized vehicle.
I would order it just to...
The ceiling doors open upwards,
and the pie is presented to the customer.
That's sick.
You pop top and you get a pie?
That's sick.
But is this taking jobs from delivery drivers?
Yes.
What is the future?
Have you seen the Amazon grocery stores that have no employees, Dave?
Yeah, it creeps me out.
I'm not a fan of that.
I'm not either.
I actually have a...
I mean, I don't anymore because I don't go to this one anymore.
But at my old grocery store, I had a nice little rapport with some of the checkout people.
I don't have that anymore because I had to switch.
They're taking her jerbs.
They're taking her jerbs.
They're taking her jerbs.
Why?
It's not funny, though, because jobs are being replaced by robots.
Some are saying it's a return to neo-feudalism.
I would order a pizza from Domino's just to get this experience.
I like Domino's.
I don't understand.
Why did you go with them like that?
Domino's has a good delivery.
Yeah, Domino's is good.
Will, you need to shut your mouth.
It's not the best pizza in Chicago.
Papa John's obviously is.
We read the article.
Obviously.
Yeah.
But no, I agree.
I would order a pizza just to see how this works. Obviously. Yeah. But no, I agree.
I would order a pizza just to see how this works.
This might be a really good idea for them.
Do you tip the robot?
I don't think so.
All right.
Mark my words.
I'm not tipping a robot.
Depends how efficiently they get it to me.
You're like, the robot hands it to you, and it's like the awkward iPad.
And you're like, okay, are they going to see if I just hit 15%?
Like when they flip it back over, is it going to tell them what I did?
Is this private?
Thanks for nothing, pal.
Yeah.
I feel like this is an expensive pizza pie.
Whatever happened to Amazon delivering packages via drone?
Wasn't that a thing that was supposed to happen?
Not sure, but I don't like drones, so I'd prefer if that never happened.
I just don't want a bunch of shit flying around all the time. Drones scare me every get near me i'm like oh what yeah what is that will will's always freaked out by drones the drone at uh lily and
drew's wedding thing was loud that thing was moving thing was bumping yeah whenever i get in
my car i see a drone i'm like ray leota at the end of Goodfellas, where he's just like all yayed out, just looking up.
Right, at the choppa.
But it's a drone.
Right.
You know, they call me Ray Sheota.
I've heard that, yeah.
Yeah, that's what people say.
That's pretty cool, man.
They call you Ray Skeota.
I want to see some video footage of these things in operation.
If you're in Houston and you have access to do this, please let us know.
Yeah.
I want to see this happen.
I know we got a big, I mean, I think Houston might be our number one city yeah we know you're listening give us your pizza stuff we
want to see it yeah give us your pizza stuff give us your pizza what if there's an upcharge for this
robot delivery they're smart they shouldn't they got to get in people's hands right pie to mouth
you guys want Royal Family or Rogan pie to mouth he You guys want royal family or Rogan? Pie to mouth, he said.
I want royal family.
So you guys hear Prince Philip died?
R.I.P.
Harry did a little remembrance of him,
and on Monday he paid a loving tribute to his late grandfather,
Prince Philip's charm and sharp wit,
remembering him as a, quote, master of barbecue and a legend of banter.
We'll see about that.
Are those the two highest compliments you can pay to somebody? Remembering him as a, quote, master of barbecue and a legend of banter. We'll see about that.
Are those the two highest compliments you can pay to somebody?
That you master the barbecue and you're a legend of banter.
Is there a chance that Prince Philip knows his way around a barbecue pit?
Hard to say.
Right?
Absolutely no chance.
Right.
I bet he doesn't know how to work a microwave.
You think he has a trash-ass brisket?
Uh-oh, he doesn't know how to do a brisket. Dude, his brisket's an oven brisket.
It makes Lincoln Riley's brisket? Oh, he doesn't. Dude, his brisket's an oven brisket. It makes Lincoln Riley's
brisket look like Franklin's.
It makes John Cornyn's brisket look like
Terry Black's. Yeah.
You think he knows how to work a toaster?
That's different.
You know what I mean? He's never had to do any of this stuff before.
He is deceased,
so we shouldn't have too much fun, guys.
I'm not having
fun, Dave. This weekend not having fun, Dave.
This weekend of fun is not until Wednesday, so.
Mm-hmm.
But really, RIP.
These toasters making me mad.
Is what someone might say if they're from there having problems with toasters.
Mm-hmm.
Interesting.
Do you think, yeah, I don't think he's a master of barbecue.
He's not. I need to dig into that a little more.
I could see Harry picking it up.
Harry, you know, he did some time in the military over there.
Like, you think his ribs are falling off the bone?
I doubt it. Oh.
I thought if your ribs fall off the bone, it means they're overcooked.
I saw a meat Twitter.
Meat Twitter was saying that one time.
And I was like, eh, I feel like you guys are kind of being mean.
I don't know, man.
Yeah.
For competition, apparently, you don't know, man. Yeah.
For competition, apparently you don't want it to fall off the bone.
I, unfortunately, have not entered any competitions.
So I don't know for sure.
Okay.
You guys want the Joe Rogan news?
Spotify is quietly deleting controversial Joe Rogan experience episodes.
What? As many as 42 interviews featuring a variety of
controversial characters.
Like such as?
That Milo dude from
Breitbart that just got
canceled into oblivion.
The Proud Boys founder
Gavin McGinnis and
comedian Chris D'Elia who
was accused of grooming
underage women.
I mean you guys know
the Chris D'Elia story.
If you don't just go check
out Lil Sass's most
recent video.
Did he get into it?
No he just made a D'Elia joke. I don't know. I just love Lil Sass' most recent video. Did he get into it? No, he just made a deleted joke.
I don't know.
I just love Lil Sass for some reason.
Lil Sass is funny.
How do you feel about this?
If Spotify buys us, do we have to put out in our contract,
like you cannot delete the El Glisadente video?
No one's going to put in a little rider in the contract like,
you have to delete all the hot dog stuff.
Got to.
Please.
You know, it seems to go against what he stands for.
And I think he's been preaching that Spotify isn't doing this.
Because I remember this happened when he first started with them.
Yeah, that was the issue.
That was the issue.
And then I guess it didn't happen.
I didn't really.
It doesn't affect me.
I'm not going back
and listening to old Rogans.
The only old Rogan
I've gone back and listened to
is one of the Steve-O ones.
Highly recommend.
I don't think I'll ever go back
and re-listen to a Joe Rogan episode.
I don't even listen to Joe Rogan anymore.
I never really did.
Only the good ones.
I don't listen as much
now that he's on Spotify.
I just listen to the Alex Jones ones.
Folks.
Folks.
You stupid fucker. Fuck you. now that he's on spotify just listen to the alex jones ones folks folks you stupid you that's like one of the funniest under like clips on twitter
what's the deal man i'll kill you you he's so mad talking to's he talking to? I don't know. The elites? Just calm down. Jeez, Alex.
Dude, you got to chill.
I mean, dude, we get it, dude.
You lost a bunch of weight and got jacked and tanned.
And learned how to suck in your stomach.
It's the same photo.
Oh, God.
Is that all she wrote, guys?
Yeah.
Are we done?
Is it over?
Yeah, let's get out of here.
Podcast week's just getting started.
Dude, great first episode of podcast week, everybody.
Shouts to everyone out there.
Go over to washmedia.shop.
Check out the new shit on the side.
Check out Too Much Dib launching today.
Not launching, but we're posting a new episode today.
Too Much Dib launched a few months ago, like this past summer.
We're launching today's episode today.
How about that?
Little dippy summer.
Hey, bye.
Like it.
Hungover KJ. Oh, no. I'm a city. Little dippy summer Hey bye