Circling Back - Instagram Reels Horniness & Taiwanese Kites
Episode Date: August 31, 2020Kicking off Monday by recapping our massive weekends, the Taiwanese kite girl who somehow came away unscathed, the extreme horniness of Instagram reels, and some unsolicited television recommendations.... Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (17:36) Recapping This Weekend In Fun (39:20) Taiwanese Kite Girl (53:20) Instagram Reels Is So Horny (1:00:35) Unsolicited Recommendations (1:08:00) Foreign Correspondent Brett’s Breaking News FanDuel: www.fanduel.com/steam (20% deposit match) Birddogs: www.birddogs.com (STEAM for free face mask) Raycon: www.buyraycom.com/steam (15% off) MeUndies: www.meundies.com/circlingback (15% off first order) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge my name is will to
freeze to my right dave ruff today's kind of putting off like major september vibes
you know what i mean just a day away dog something's something different
it's going down like what do you think it is today not the first oh it's the 31st damn
it's still i got that vibe it's just kind of like teasing me like you got here a day early
that kind of vibe yeah like i've been saying that september can't get here soon enough and
i guess i was right i truly cannot you're to have to wait one more day, David.
I don't want to wait.
I don't want to wait for August to be over.
Oh.
If you want to end the pod right there, I think we just nailed it.
What just happened?
I just broke in the freaking song.
We just crushed it about 30 seconds into a podcast.
Dave put one on a tee for me.
I went yard with it.
That's what happened.
I don't know if you went yard with your –
Dude, I went yard.
Dude, look at him.
He's just taking a slow jog around the bases.
I'm walking to first base.
That's how deep that is.
No, you thought you went yard, and then they went to the warning track,
and he just caught it right at the wall.
Yeah.
I got in trouble in high school once.
I thought I hit a home run, and I didn't.
It was a scrimmage against our own team.
It wasn't a big deal.
But I got a single out of it, even though it was off the wall,
and my coach was not very happy with me.
Got a single out of it, huh?
Did they throw it at your head next time?
No.
I mean, it was my buddy who –
It didn't matter.
Sent a message through behind you.
Yeah.
It was fun.
It was like, hey, man.
It was a good time for everybody.
I don't blame you, though.
A good time for everyone except for me.
Pipping a home run off your buddy is pretty tight.
Yeah, it was my friend.
What are you going to do?
Unwritten rules.
There are rules that are not written.
That's right.
The rest is still unwritten, though.
No rules, just right.
Unwritten.
We're doing a lot in the first two minutes of this podcast right now.
People know this is going to be a good one.
Dude, it's been a big weekend.
Yeah, a lot happened.
Some unfortunate things happened, but a lot happened.
I mean, yeah.
Sorry, I don't mean to bring the mood down.
No, it's okay.
It's okay.
Now the mood's down, Dylan. Well, you can intro me, and then we'll get to the all right dylan shiver is in the studio as well okay
uh very happy to be here as always i got some color over the weekend you might have noticed
that already no okay no you always look like this i feel i feel fantastic glad to be here
it's gonna be a good week of podcasting is Is it podcast week? It's Pocket Team Monday, that's for sure.
Yeah.
And it's also New Kick Monday.
Wow.
Yeah.
Wow.
Is it podcast week, Lowkey?
Lowkey.
Oh, hold on, hold on.
Check the calendar.
Oh, actually.
People are wondering if September is going to be podcast month.
What?
There might be a little announcement tomorrow.
Oh, my gosh.
Dylan, you for real bought new tennis shoes shoes and you did not buy new golf shoes.
Yeah. Here's the thing.
Can you just buy some new ones, please? Can I explain why?
No. My game,
my golf game, is in such terrible
shape at the moment. Yeah, you need to shake things up.
I feel like I haven't earned
new golf shoes. Well, it ain't going to happen.
It's not a money thing.
I haven't earned them.
I don't want to go out
and new, brand new,
you know, $150,
whatever I'm going to buy.
I don't know.
Well, you're thinking
about it all wrong.
And then fire a 98.
I just don't want to do that.
That's all I do.
It's tight.
You'd rather shoot a 98
and you're...
Yes.
1992 Adidas?
Yes, actually.
I'm blessed. You got from famous footwear
i am actually having a very big crisis when it comes to golf shoes it's a tough thing i i recently
as you guys know i recently purchased some new golf shoes i got the nike genoskis yeah i hate
them uh yeah i do too now i can't picture them i was kidding yeah i hate them now oh so i got
them and then i i was doing it because I was going up to Michigan,
and I was like, you know what?
I haven't gotten new golf shoes in five years.
It's time.
So I got them shipped to Michigan because I didn't have time to ship them here,
and I figured it would be easier to pack them.
And so when I got up there, I got them in the mail, and I was like, man,
these don't look anything like what I thought they looked like online.
I thought they were going to be like a low-, like pretty toned down golf shoe. And when I, when I pulled them out, I was like, man, I just
don't love these. But at the same time, I don't have any other golf shoes to play with in Michigan.
So I started wearing them and I didn't love them. They have like a giant back on them,
like a really thick heel. I don't like that trend. It's trash. Yeah. And so I, I, I was kind
of self-conscious about them, but my buddies up in Michigan were too nice to actually roast me.
We talked about it, but they didn't actually roast me for it.
But I played, I mean, not to spoil this weekend of fun,
I played golf twice this weekend.
And once I was with Brett, and I was telling Brett,
I was like, I'm just not into him.
I need to get some new shoes.
And then the other two guys showed up and just absolutely flamed me
off the face of the earth. Good. Really?
So now I'm just sitting here and I'm like, God, like
every fear that I had about these things just got confirmed
and now I don't know what to do.
This is strange. I'm looking at a photo and I
think these look great. No, it's
because
it's because
in the photo
you don't realize how clunky they are.
They look like they're a pair of clogs yeah they look like they're a pair of vans in the photo that like just like fit to your foot but
no they're more like uh they're more like a geriatric like walking shoe that your grandpa
would wear oh damn yeah i also had like a i had a 70 year old man yesterday actually like kind of
roast me for him, too. Good.
So now at this point, and I threw my other shoes away,
so I don't even have a backup pair,
so now I just have to go hit the ground running again and figure out what shoes I need.
It's just brutal.
I'm over it.
Do you remember the airwalks with the shell toe, the white shell toe,
that was kind of like – I'm thinking about putting some soft spikes on those.
Do airwalks still exist?
Did you have airwalks?
Yes.
You did?
Absolutely.
We always considered those to be poser shoes.
They were, they became uncool very quickly and commandeered by people who wanted to.
Pretend to be skaters?
Yeah, they wanted to put off skater vibes and they were not
skaters no like they were never as cool as like etnies etnies were like the like the cool ones
what's the other one with the e accent es yeah yeah i don't know how you actually say it we
always just we never did it we always call them the issues and we always confuse issues yeah but
etnies were the dope ones but airwalks were like more for they weren't good skate shoes but they were
like what you wore when you wanted people to think you skated okay like when you're going to the mall
and you want to put off a five yeah and dylan didn't own these no i did dylan was wearing uh
his pleats to the mall stomping around no you probably just ate like in your in your baseball
uniform at every single restaurant your parents took you to after practice.
We did do some post-game, like, team dinners at, like, pizza places and stuff.
We'd all just be in our uniforms and stuff.
It was fun.
I felt bad for being in those places because we were just supposed to just –
we already had BO as, like, being teenagers who, like, don't have control over our sweat and everything.
And then just rolling in after a soccer game and taking over an entire Burger King,
it was like, dude, if you brought your family here,
we just absolutely derailed it.
We did that at CC's.
That's where Marcus Lopez ate like 29 pieces of pizza.
We went to Mr. Gaddy's.
You know, we'd sneak over to the salad bar
and get some chocolate pudding for dessert
without buying a salad plate.
I was a bad boy.
Is that why Gaddy's is near and dear to your heart?
Because you ride for Gaddy's.
There was a neighborhood one where I grew up, and we would just all go.
It was buffet, and it was good enough.
We were kids.
We went there all the time.
It was great.
They had a few games in there, too.
Yeah.
You should take parks.
It's closed.
I'm pretty sure it's closed there's one
by uh there's there's a few in austin this was on far west the name of the street airwalk made
some shitty ass shoes i'm looking like a lot of these are trash they did they were they were some
of the worst looking skate shoes you could have bought they're the gaddies of skate shoes stop
dude that's a compliment no it's truly not. I've only had Gattys
a handful of times
and every single one
was at Comedy Lunch,
which I miss laughing
that hard at Comedy Lunch,
by the way.
We never caved at Gattys,
did we?
Yes, we did.
We did at least once.
We did at least once
because I remember
a former intern
who I will not name,
but he might have been
Steve Holt,
was just absolutely
roasting it
via Gchat with me,
and I was just loving it.
Oh, that's fun.
I was laughing so hard because I was like,
yeah, this is trash pizza.
What are we doing?
Dude, these shoes that I had,
these Airwalks with the shell toe are so bad
that I can't even find it.
They must have wiped the internet from putting it.
Yeah, they were like, we can't have this out there.
I'm buying some Airwalks, though.
This reminds me of the time I walked into the van store at the mall a few years ago,
and they just looked at me.
No, he talked to me.
That's like when you and I went to the co-op grocery store,
and they didn't ask you if you were a member, and they asked everybody else.
Yeah.
Dude, what the fuck?
It's like, no, this guy's not a member of the co-op.
He's wearing an ACC hat.
Yeah, I was dressed like. He doesn't give a fuck about the
environment. Yeah, the organic grocery store.
This guy, this is his first time here.
I walked up with a beard and a ratty
t-shirt on and they were just like, oh, you a member of the co-op?
You must be a member. They didn't ask me.
They saw I was wearing a polo.
It was just like a golf shirt.
Did you bring your accountant with you? Who's this guy?
You got hippie profile. Hey, bro,
HEB's that way.
All right.
They did not want my business.
It was an unintentional roast, but they did kind of roast you.
Yeah.
This one on South Lamar.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's right next to my crib.
That's a cool little store, man.
Yeah, it's fine.
They have little kid shopping carts, so Parks can push one around.
He loves it.
Dude, my favorite part about that place is that when you order a sandwich,
you get to wait 45 minutes for it to be made.
Yeah, so it's genius on their part because then you just, if you're me,
you walk around the store just looking at stuff you don't need.
Like, oh, yeah, I need some, you know, some healthy whey protein ice cream.
I'll buy this.
And then you keep walking down.
Like, oh, there's some dog toys.
Randy needs something.
It's like, oh.
Next thing, yeah.
Here's a six-pack of beer that I don't need, but let me hear.
It sounds good.
I'm waiting.
Craft root beer?
Cool.
Oh, hard kombucha.
Yeah, I'll drink some of that.
I'll try that.
I'll give that a shot.
No, dude.
You wait for your sandwich, and you have nothing to do because you don't get service in there.
There's no cell service.
There's no service by the lunch counter.
You can't look at your phone.
So you're just like, all right, I'm going to go walk around and just,
oh, they got a great wine selection.
Next thing you know, you just spent $60 at the co-op that you're not a member of
and they hate you at.
Yeah.
God.
I'm going to go in there stashed up and they'll be like, oh, okay.
Are you sure you're not? Yeah, this dude's cool. He's trying to go in there as stashed up and they'll be like, oh, okay. Are you, are you sure you're not?
Yeah.
This time with like peak COVID times in Austin,
I was standing there and they had like this,
they had like the spots that you stand on.
They're six feet apart.
So you can enter the store.
Cause they only let so many people in at once.
And there's a guy who's just being a total wimp about like stopping people.
And so all these people are waiting in this line.
And then he's just
letting people like just breeze by him what a cuck the people who just didn't care and i like
finally said something i was like dude stop letting people in like we're waiting out in this heat
what the hell i was so mad i was like dude you can't just be letting people breeze in and start
shopping in front of us when we've been all standing out here what a a wimp. Dude, let's just go run up on these employees there.
What a wimp.
Let's go beat up the wimp.
That'd be a bad headline.
Former frat blog employees ransack local co-op.
We'd be major kook vibes.
Yeah.
Of course you're going to drop that word.
Dude, major kook vibes. Can we Of course you're going to drop that word. Dude, major kook vibes.
Can we do some programming notes real quick?
Yeah.
Guys, we're stacking Instagram followers at a rapid clip.
We're getting about 10 a week, and it's really tight.
So if you haven't already, go make sure to follow
at Circling Back Pod on Instagram and Twitter.
Instagram's more important.
I want to be able for people to swipe up on stuff
instead of us having to do like link and buy them.
Get us to 10K.
It's not a big deal.
Just do it. Just follow us. Saying link and buy us for nerd us to 10K. It's not a big deal. Just do it.
Just follow us.
Saying link and buy us for nerds,
and we're not nerds.
I'm tired of this.
Yeah.
We're kind of nerds.
We're kind of nerds, yeah.
We've got nerd vibes.
I'm glad...
Yeah.
Dude, I just want to be able
to swipe up.
I want other people
to be able to swipe up.
We've seen the numbers.
We know there are people listening
who are not following
because this number's bigger
than that number.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Pretty simple math there. And secondly, go leave a review and a five-star rating enjoy it like just go go be funny i want to read some of these funny reviews
on here but we haven't gotten that many good ones in the last like week or so go make it happen
also every tuesday and friday patreon.com circling back podcast tomorrow we're doing some worse
weekend stories so if you can get your story in now worst of it washmedia.com slash circlingbackpodcast. Tomorrow we're doing some Worst Weekend stories, so if you can get your story
in now, worstofitwashmedia.com.
I have not put together the rundown yet.
We might be seeing a little triple dipper action tomorrow.
We'll see. Are you kidding me?
And then we got Happy Hour Live.
Apologies for skipping last week.
There's bigger things going on and we decided
to take the night off. We've been pretty consistent
with these things. We just needed a breather.
We decided to shut up for once.
It's a lot.
It was nice to go to bed
on Wednesday
without my heart beating fast
from being so jacked up
about the happy hour live.
Yeah.
It was also nice
to go to bed sober
that night as well
since I usually have
like two or three
Vizzies and Miller Highlifes
throughout the course of those.
Um, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. And finally, Twitch.
Twitch.tv slash watchmedia.
Go subscribe.
Go follow.
Go do whatever you're supposed to do on Twitch that I don't really fathom still.
I don't really get it either.
Yeah, Dylan and I did a winner-take-all throwback Thursday on Super Mario Kart.
It wasn't a winner-take-all.
It was winner-take-all, and I won the final GP, and I took it all.
I famously took it all.
Stop.
This can't keep happening.
You can't keep getting too much credit for victories.
Like the NBA Jam.
Bill Wham-Bear, downtown.
Bang!
I won that series.
Way downtown.
Bang!
Bang!
No one's doing underhand game winners from the free throw line on the other side of the court.
Can they re-release NBA Jam or do an updated version of it with Mike Breen calling it?
They should.
How tight would that be?
Dave?
That would change the entire dynamic of the game.
Who would you play with?
I mean, obviously you'd play with Luka.
Who's your other guy for Luka?
KP.
KP.
KP.
KP.
KP.
Yeah, Dylan, have you – so how did that even shake out?
I can't remember.
I was here for the whole thing, but like –
So, Dylan, you took the L again?
No.
Are you challenging –
Are you talking about Super Mario Kart?
Yeah.
Because I was running Will off the track the entire time,
and then he happens to win the final one, and he thinks it's like –
I didn't win the final race. I will just be clear. The Grand Prix. I won the final three races to win the entire time, and then he happens to win the final one, and he thinks it's like the only one. I didn't win the final race.
Well, just to be clear.
The Grand Prix.
I won the final three races to win the entire Grand Prix.
Okay, but I won the Grand Prix prior to that,
and I won all the battles and the single races before that.
Are there stats to back that up?
Yeah.
I don't know if there are.
There are.
I don't know.
We'll have to check the game.
Pull the tape.
It's on Twitch, man.
Sounds like a moral victory for you. I don't know. Everyone should have to check the game. Pull the tape. It's on Twitch, man. Sounds like a moral victory for you.
I don't know.
Everyone should just go watch this on Twitch and let us know what you think about it.
That would be ideal.
Whatever, dude.
Let's recap this weekend in fun.
Presented by Bird Dogs.
I got some Bird Dogs in yesterday.
After the golf round I played, I went and tossed some on, jumped in the pool, really
enjoyed myself.
You got some new Bird Dogs?
No, no, no.
No.
I just got my bird
dogs on you know oh oh i see yeah that makes it different yeah with the emphasis yeah yeah yeah
i was on okay yeah because these things are everything dude you can wear them golfing if
you need to you can wear them to the to the pool working out just taking a stroll around the block
anything i love working out in them they're're so comfortable yet supportive. A lot of people say that they're their everything pants or shorts.
For me, they are my dog park shorts, gym shorts, pool shorts.
Wow.
And hanging out around the house shorts.
Jeez.
You just never take them off, it sounds like.
Very rarely.
I went to the pool for about five minutes on Friday,
but it was too hot, so I left.
And the vibe at the pool was just off, but I was wearing my bird dog,
so I just walked around the house in them until I had to actually get dressed at like 6 that night.
Yeah, very chill sitch.
Very cool.
Good for you, man.
If you're not familiar, these are gym shorts with a built-in silky soft inner liner that makes underwear obsolete.
They also make the best pants I've ever worn now, too.
The pants just fit phenomenally. The tapered
leg on these things just hits just
right for me. It's just beautiful.
Beautiful. May or may not have a
bachelor party in Scottsdale in December
and you best
believe these pants will be
getting worn. I'm not kidding
when I say this. We need to get more
because you're going to be wanting to wear them on the
course. You're going to be wanting to wear them on the course.
You're going to be wanting to wear them to the steakhouse.
You got to.
Everywhere, dude.
Between golf.
Just hanging out with the lads.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Go to birddogs.com.
Enter promo code STEAM
and they'll throw in
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Like a condom,
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You'll get a free bird dog's face mask
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They're actually quite quality masks.
They feel like your auntie sewed it just for you.
That's birddogs.com, promo code STEAM, and boom, a free Bird Dogs face mask with your pair of Bird Dogs.
You will not take these things off, I promise you.
Dylan, what did you get into this weekend?
Yes, I had a very lame weekend, which is real exciting.
I get it.
Friday I had parks.
We went to Zilker Park.
Saw that. Very jealous. It was great because people were at work. real exciting i get it uh friday i had parks we um we went to uh zilker park saw that very jealous
great because uh people were at work we went friday morning and uh it was fairly empty and it
was nice we went early wasn't too hot yet stella got a ton of exercise the homie popped top i popped
top and he goes i want to do that too and he hung his shirt from his from his shorts like i do just
like me it was pretty it
was a cute scene he went qb he's the real qb one he went qb with it it was tight that's tight i was
proud of him i saw you went to the far side of the park where the shade at oh we went everywhere can
i ask you we we cover some ground is there a part of zoker that you can bring your dog to where you
don't have to worry about it like i don't't know, being near a street or a parking lot, any of that stuff?
No.
But there are areas of the park that you can go to that are more sheltered.
Okay.
Let's put it that way.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like to go around.
Is Randy the type to run off?
No, but he sometimes, he won't run off, but he's not afraid to wander, at least at our dog park.
And it's probably because he's comfortable there.
And it's not really a dog park.
It's a park.
But, yeah, I don't know.
I'm still a helicopter golf or a helicopter golf, helicopter dog.
Yeah, I get it.
Yeah, Stella pretty much stays by us, so it wasn't a big deal.
But there is a concern, you know, when she starts to wander a little bit.
But we had a great time, man. I go to the far side because it's got the most tree coverage people are never down there it's
separated from the other dogs as its chill over there I don't trust the other
dogs of that dog park but the people that bring it down to the shady part I
trust those dogs they have actual good owners who use their head to think yeah
yeah is that the part where Gary Larson and his dog hang out I don't even know
what you're talking about right now.
The far side.
The far side.
Parks is doing this thing.
It's like his new thing.
It's so stupid.
It is.
It's not good.
His new thing is to go up to people who have dogs and ask if he can take a picture of their dog.
It's really cute.
And he sets it up and everything, and he takes his time.
Did he learn that from you?
Because you're always walking up to Dave. I can give him some portrait mode tutorials if he needs them yeah i mean he's
he's got very basic uh photography skills but he's doing it yeah he's kind of overdoing it on the uh
lago filter but he's doing okay yeah yeah it's cute man the rest of the weekend i did absolutely
nothing i didn't have park saturday or Sunday. I watched some sports.
I went to the gym.
It was kind of lame.
I went to the pool a little bit.
Kind of lame.
Wow.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, dude.
You guys had more fun than I did.
I was not included in your plans.
I get it.
But, you know, it was good.
It was weird.
It's whatever.
I'm used to it.
Well, have you gone to the Apple?
I see the same phone in front of us.
Yeah, I don't know.
I heard that the pink iPhones actually have better reception and stuff,
and they get texts on weekends.
Is that true?
You should get one of the pink ones.
Okay.
I'll go talk to one of the red bar people.
Dylan, I might have to go with you because I was actually in your boat.
Because T-Man had his bachelor party in Austin,
and he messaged me and
i messaged him i was like hey man i didn't get the invite and he's like oh you must be the phone
i guess i needed my phone might not be working right it's weird i also texted him and said oh
man you're in austin yeah how rude i would love to see you t-man i thought we were like his best
friends his boys were even does he have friends that aren't us i'm so good it's weird so weird
it is weird jerk and even like his buddies buddies were messaging me two weeks ago asking for golf recommendations.
I'm like, you know T-Man lived here.
He knows.
What's T-Man's problem?
We can't get a stop by and say hello offer?
I wouldn't have been able to attend, but I still would have had the option.
It would have been nice.
I would have gone and played if I could.
Well, I hope they had a very average time here.
I'll go ahead and say it.
No, I hope you tell me I got too much sun.
I'll say it.
Yeah, I hope your sun burned today.
I hope his Nike Sasquatch driver broke on two.
Dude, don't air him out for his Sasquatch.
Is he still?
He's not playing anymore.
Who knows?
It wasn't a Sasquatch, but he did have the—
I only remember it because he has the blue...
Was it the squarehead?
The royal blue hat.
No.
The squarehead Sasquatch?
One of the worst drivers ever made, the Nike Sasquatch.
If I remember correctly, didn't it have one of the worst noises ever made?
Yes.
Like a clunk?
Yeah.
No, T-Man did not play that one.
It sounded like it was cracked.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But that was how it was supposed to sound.
Widely regarded as a top five all-time bad driver.
Really?
I think so, or at least my friends always shit on me.
My buddy was demoing one one time.
I was like, what are you doing?
Don't play with this.
Squarehead.
Did anyone ever use that on tour, the squareheaded one?
Somebody probably did.
Right.
Yikes.
What did you get into this weekend, Dave?
You had a big weekend.
Yeah, about eight of us went down to San Marcos,
which is about 30 minutes south of here.
Dylan, you're familiar with it.
Yeah, I went to school down there, Dave.
Did you run into Dylan there at all?
No, it was weird.
We were looking for him.
Did you go to the square?
No.
Did you go to the parent?
Actually, we went right off the square for dinner one night.
Did you go to the old frat house?
No.
I don't know what it is now.
But, yeah, we went down, uh kissing tree and sam marcus which is a relatively new course it's a little development
i kind of want to buy a house there even though it's like a 55 and up community it's it's just
sick it's like right off hunter road you've been so you know It's in like a great spot, like five minutes from the square.
Yeah, short course.
I have an announcement to make.
I said earlier my goal.
I said this a few months back.
My goal is to become a single-digit handicap guy and currently playing at a 9.6.
Wow.
Based on how many rounds?
I don't know.
Probably 30.
Oh, okay.
Maybe more.
Okay.
Good for you, Dave.
Proud of you, man.
Yeah.
Nothing better than pulling up to 18 on a short course, 260-yard par 4 downhill with trouble,
with water long and left, and only needing a par to shoot 78, and then just pulling pipe
and just absolutely pissing on one, flying the green and doubling the hole to shoot 80.
Wouldn't change a thing.
I was about three vizzies deep at that point, whatever.
Damn.
Yeah, and it was a hot one.
It sure was.
Rob Thomas voice.
Your kissing tree round is the one where Bill had the caddy as a –
Yeah, noted New York Times bestselling author W.R. Bowen.
He got last in our fantasy league last year, so he had a caddy for the winner.
Classic.
Classic hijinks.
And they bought him the full-on onesie, the white one.
The bib?
What do they call it?
The bib, yeah.
I don't know.
Don't say the wrong thing or they won't let you back to Augusta National.
Yeah, we're going to get slammed for that, I'm sure, but who cares?
Yeah, and Ross wore it the entire day. And let me tell you it we teed off at like 12 30 it was miserable ross was
a good sport and ross doesn't sweat for some reason so you couldn't even tell after the round
like he looked better than most of us zero sweat it's uh it's kind of annoying honestly
and i knew ross wasn't a sweat boy because i've done hot yoga with him
before and he just i i'm drenched i look i look disgusting i'm popping top on the way home because
my shirt's just sticking to me ross looks like he didn't do anything but he was just in the class
with me whatever sense yeah i've got like i've played golf with him on like a 105 degree day and
i got sweat just dumping out of my shorts, and he's over there just, like, dry as a bone.
Yeah.
Ridiculous.
Let me give a shout-out to Liquid IV, the real MVPs of the weekend,
because I was pounding them.
I was doing, like, two or three a day, one on the course.
Then when we got back, I was handing them out.
And per my whoop, my recovery never really tanked.
So I think that helped me get through it.
I never felt dehydrated.
One of the guys we played with who was in our league actually had to leave
because he got heat exhaustion, we think.
Throwing up, he was better the next day.
But he was just out there and didn't handle the heat well.
So, yeah, we did our fantasy draft.
I had the first pick.
Who did you pick?
Pat Mahomes. No, i took christian mccaffrey you took our advice ppr league yeah i did man i appreciate that tip yeah we wanted to help you
out uh i got a sleeper he's an early round sleeper uh not gonna names, but one guy was pounding wine and was using a draft cheat sheet from 2019 and didn't realize it.
Also, he drafted Padma Holmes in the second round,
and then three rounds later drafted Deshaun Watson.
He thinks it's going to be a trade piece to get some more players down the line.
So it may work out.
I don't know.
I hate when people draft to trade.
People got mad because, like, Deshaun, you know, Deshaun's probably a top five fantasy quarterback.
It's going to work.
It's not a two-quarterback league we're in.
It was fun.
Where did CeeDee go?
To me.
I got him in, like like the sixth or the seventh.
Okay.
This year, we were all kind of talking about it.
So we have all the name plates, and you go put it up on a draft board.
This year, more than any year, after like five rounds,
I stopped recognizing names.
Yeah.
It hit me.
I was like, dude, I guess I'm not paying enough attention to this.
If I looked at a cheat sheet, you could show me one from 2019.
I wouldn't even know.
I would have no clue.
I'd be that guy.
I'd just print one up like morning of draft, having done zero research,
and I'd sit down and I'm like, okay, what am I doing?
I was laptop guy.
Do you like drafting players that also played baseball in college
for like a little bit too?
No.
Okay.
Who?
What's the quarterback from OU's name who went to the Cardinals?
Oh, Kyler.
Is he your favorite because he was going to go pro in baseball first?
You know Kyler's not my favorite.
Dude, you love Kyler.
No.
Saturday we did a scramble at the Bandit.
Love a good scramble.
That was the fun one.
That's the one where it's like, dude, low pressure.
Everybody's just out there having a good time.
That's the one where we really let it rip a little bit.
The place had a pool.
If anybody needs a place for a bachelor party or somewhere in San Marcos,
hit me up because I would recommend that place because it's sick
and it's relatively cheap.
I just don't want to go to a bachelor party in San Marcos.
That's a great point.
It doesn't have the curb appeal.
I'm sure it would be fun as hell, but it doesn't have the curb appeal when you're like,
oh, where are you going for your bachelor party?
I didn't make your list of potential places to go.
It might now.
I've come to terms with the fact that my
bachelor party is now just might get out of jail free card okay like i'm going crazy and i'm like
all right we need to get a guy's trip you had some you said you made a comment recently that
maybe it won't happen at some point dude i have nerves really upset me i'm nervous like there's
just a lot a lot of moving parts and i feel like kova is just completely like okay but if it happens
now if it happens it's going to be totally different than what was planned before okay it's gonna be upset 2021
to make something happen yesterday i just did the sports a lot of sports a lot of sports
sick too much dip check out too much dip recording this afternoon you can hear about the sports you
can yeah i had a big weekend I spent a lot of time outdoors.
Started on Thursday afternoon.
Late afternoon.
4.50 tea time
with someone you may know.
Brett Merriman.
Heard of him.
Yep, went out and played.
He wore shorts.
Saw his translucent legs
which was a big win for me.
Did he wear sunblock?
He did.
I don't even know if he did.
I was lathering it on.
I had a bunch.
Tomorrow's his one year.
Big.
He washed.
Congratulations.
He skipped today's episode. We invited him on. He had a bunch. Tomorrow's his one year. Big. It washed. Congratulations. He skipped today's episode.
We invited him on.
He said no.
It's like, cool, dude.
Go develop more business, nerd.
Dork.
I honestly thought today was his one year.
That's all me.
You thought today was September 1st, didn't you?
I'm not kidding.
I did.
That's why we're doing his lunch today.
Yeah, I did too.
I was kind of wondering about that.
I also thought it was September when I woke up yesterday,
which is why I completely screwed up a bunch of stuff on Sunday Scaries,
like doing the wrong ad reads and stuff like that.
So it was really fun.
Do you remember?
Then.
September.
Friday.
Friday I had to grind a little bit.
I had some work to get done.
So I came into the stew Saw Randy a little bit
Friday
After that I hit the pool
Didn't last long
It lasted more than five minutes
Like I said
It lasted about an hour
But it was just so damn hot
I had to get the hell out of there
And then Friday night
I don't even know what I did
Not even sure
Oh I get it
Couldn't have been that memorable
Yeah
Or maybe
No
Hitting that kill
No dude
Yeah No come on Maybe you just drank too much bro No Yeah Friday Yeah, or maybe... Hitting that kill? No, dude. Yeah.
No, come on.
Maybe you just drank too much, bro.
No.
Yeah.
Friday.
Me and Mike, we went out to a couple of bars or so,
and we got a little fucked up.
Don't really remember shit.
Yeah, the more I think of it, I have no idea what I did Friday.
Dude, he broke into Frat Dave in rain.
He just couldn't control himself over here.
I know.
Giggling like a schoolgirl over here. Heiggled uh saturday was big though saturday was the marquee event
went out on the boat and yeah yeah yeah i wake surfed dude dude i wake served oh
calm down dude dude i saw Just shredding tasty waves.
You know, a thread popped up on our Reddit page talking about how good you looked.
Yeah, it didn't get that many.
Like, physically.
To be honest, it didn't get that many upvotes, so.
Yeah, I didn't upvote.
Actually, maybe I downvoted it.
Like, if this was one of you two updoing it, like, it would have gotten, like, 120 upvotes.
For me, it got, like, 22.
Dude, Dave's bucket hat mustache pop-top look over the weekend killed it.
People were saying I didn't wear a shirt all weekend.
I did.
That would have been weird to go play without a shirt.
Baker's Bay.
We're in the middle of Central Texas.
We're too old at this point to try to recreate Baker's Bay.
We're too old, and it was too hot.
Even if you put sunblock on, it's just not going to get burned.
You're going to get burned.
Yeah, I officially joined the ranks of Bucket Hat Mob, Dylan.
Will and I have already been members for quite some time.
Yeah, I know.
That's why I said I joined the ranks.
If you look at Instagram, at DShivery.
Yeah, but yours is less of a bucket hat.
It's a sun hat.
It's a sun hat.
Yeah.
But it's got bucket vibes.
It does.
Kind of like how, like, what was the hat you wore in Italy?
Oh, the fedora.
The Panama hat?
The Panama hat is actually a fedora.
The straw Panama hat?
The fedora.
It's not a fedora.
It's a Panama hat.
It was a fedora.
Don't say fedora.
It was a fedora.
That's not going to catch on.
No, that's what people are saying.
We're not doing fedora.
It feels pretty catchy.
It was a Panama hat, and I looked so good in it.
And that's all I have to say about that.
Why are you guys taking away from the fact that I'm officially a wake surfer now?
I surf wakes.
Because no one gives a fuck.
Well, I got to tell you, man, I saw you wake surfing.
You looked good and all, but I noticed you were holding the rope.
Yeah, throw the rope in one time.
Why are you holding that rope, player?
To any single person out there who told me to throw in a rope,
to which I responded to many DMs of people telling me to throw the rope,
I would love to see the first time you wake surfed.
I would love to see how you went out there and just threw in the rope your first time.
Tell me that I don't look great for a first-time wake surfer.
You looked all right.
I was cruising.
You got to throw that rope in, though, player.
Was it easier than you thought it would be?
So here was my main issue.
In the beginning, I was getting feedback from people of how to get up. I was getting it from three different people in the beginning. I was getting, I was getting, uh,
feedback from people of how to get up. I'm getting it from three different people on the boat telling me like, no, do this, then do this. And I was like, okay, I'm getting way too much
information overload. So I decided like, okay, I'm getting out. Cause I got up once on my first
attempt, one out of four times. And then I fell immediately. And then finally I was like, I need
to see somebody else doing this so I can just see it in motion and not have immediately. And then finally I was like, I need to see somebody else
doing this so I can just see it in motion and not have to worry about it. I was like one of
the first ones to go. Once I did that, it was like, it was completely natural and I wasn't
really worried about it. And I got up, I think every time after that, uh, the issue for me is
just, just getting the comfort level, just getting in the wake and being able to sustain it without
relying on the rope to pull me forward
when I start going back a little bit.
See, man, you've got to really feel the energy from the wake.
It's all about weight distribution.
Yeah, which isn't that hard.
You've just got to feel it out.
It's not that hard.
It takes reps.
Dylan, I saw somebody send me some video of you on the lake this weekend.
You were kneeboarding.
Man, that's not true, but kneeboarding was tight.
No one kneeboards anymore.
They should.
Very rarely do you see
a kneeboard,
but they were fun.
Seems like it's bad
for your back.
I can't prove that, though.
If you catch any air
and you hit
and you're in that position,
it just seems painful.
Yeah, maybe.
I was catching sick air
when I was younger.
It just makes sense.
I did have a dicey situation
that actually,
it was a heart skip moment i was pulling
in the rope because i was actually gonna i was actually planning on trying to throw it in
so i started pulling it in and you know your natural inclination when you're uh using a rope
is to loop it it's rare that you would pull on a rope unless you're playing tug of war and just
let it dangle behind you and so my natural inclination was to loop it and then all of a sudden when there was a bunch of
slack or the slack went away it wrapped around my fingers and so i just i had fight or flight
mode and i just panicked i let go and it wrapped really hard around my fingers and it was at that
point that i was like i'm gonna lose a finger right now and it completely cramped my hand man
it just killed there are some serious accidents that happen doing stuff like and it it completely cramped my hand man it just killed there are some serious
accidents that happen doing stuff like that it it definitely was a reality check of like okay
never do that again because it my hand really significantly hurt for like an hour after i was
a little worried that i like pulled or like tore something in a finger but now it's just a little
sore but it was bad for a second back in my wakeboarding days i was always afraid to get my
arm like stuck in the the handle and that would fall and they would rip it off.
I told you about the time in high school when I threw one down on a fast break
and my entire freaking forearm got caught in the rim and I was just hanging there off of it.
I didn't know you could get up like that.
Were you in a Raptors jersey?
No, it was Panthers.
Dee Carter.
It was me and Seneca.
Seneca Wallace? jersey now it's panthers d carter it's me and seneca seneca wallace seneca collins i think his name was he was our he was our stud i thought you meant the iowa state quarterback with sin you can win that's what we said
then yesterday i just went i went golfing i want to play golf again cool dude fun weekend yep
yep play golf again how'd you hit him and weekend. Yep. Yep. Played golf again.
How'd you hit them in your Janikaskis?
I actually played more consistent than I've played in a long time.
I came undone on the last three holes where I put my drive out of bounds on each of the
holes, which led to finishing double, triple, double.
How did Drew play?
Shot a 69.
That guy.
Yep. play shot 69 that guy yep he shot a 69 and it and he shot it in positions that he should have never
found himself in not to not to air out the people we were playing with but they were the course
locals and they told him where to put the ball and he put it where they told him to every single
time this is drew and some of those balls he was just told to put it in the wrong place so he was
just directly behind a tree it happened two or or three times, and he still shot a 69.
Wait, where did you play again?
It's called Berry Creek.
Okay.
Yeah, dude, I've heard it's a very good course.
Yeah, I had a very good time.
A 69.
Just a casual.
Yeah, it was a little frustrating.
I heard it did.
It was okay.
I even followed up on it.
That's not a Mike Breen.
No, that's not bang worthy.
I'm turning it down, actually, just so I don't react to that.
Bang!
I hit him with it anyway.
Oh, man.
We talk about it.
Oh, we have a new sponsor alert.
New sponsor.
New sponsor alert.
We have a new sponsor.
Okay, that's enough.
It's getting very specific, the alert.
People know what it is.
Recurring sponsor alert.
Soon to be.
Anyway.
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now fanduel more ways to win you see this girl in taiwan just get ripped up by that kite man it's
it's uh terrifying is what it is.
It's weird that, like, as someone who's not a father, a.k.a. me,
it's weird that my first reaction when seeing the video was,
oh, my God, what if that was a homie?
Oh, well, that's pretty cute, man. That was the first thing I thought.
I was like, dude, if the homie's doing that at Zilker,
just flying around on the kite,
like, I'm going to be running around trying to catch him.
Yeah, you look at stuff like this a little bit differently
when you have a kid, man.
If this was the homie who got wrapped up in some, like, 30-foot kite
and just ripped off the ground and was floating through the air like this,
I would be inconsolable.
I mean, that's understandable.
Yeah.
This is one of those videos.
My buddy sent it to me, like, midday, and I was on the course, and I watched it.
And it was one of those things that's like I had to immediately show someone else.
And then I was delighted when I checked my phone later that night,
and I saw that Randy had just dropped it in the group text.
It's just brutal.
So this happened at a kite flying festival in Taiwan on Sunday.
The girl was three years old.
Is three years old.
Is. Because she survived.
She's okay. Do you know if her birthday was yesterday?
Like what? That's fair. Or today?
Good point. Good point.
Do you know about her? Do you remember the PSAs
they used to run when we were kids about kites?
And it was like the little singing cartoon
guy and it was like never fly your kite
near power lines. Yeah. You remember
that? Do they need to like completely revamp that
and just never fly your kites in general?
Like just don't tie your kite to your waist?
Okay, and she didn't, right?
It wrapped around her.
She was not tied.
Was she tied to it?
I don't know how it was.
I don't know.
That part is TBD.
That's a wild move.
I don't know what happened,
but however she was attached to this thing,
it was firm because she was not going anywhere.
But how does it get wrapped around a kid that stays like that
while she's being flung through the air?
Can I ask a question?
I don't get it.
Will she remember this?
Will three-year-old her remember getting tossed around by that kite?
Do three-year-olds remember stuff?
I don't remember anything from three.
How old are you
when you start remembering my first memory i think is from uh pre pre-k i think mine is too
like i feel like my first vivid memory was from like my first day of pre-k just being scared
shitless because i didn't know anybody i remember being in my montessori school at four like i
remember like what my classroom looked like and that's's it. Before that, it's just a blank. You didn't have to flex it out with the Montessori stuff.
That was a flex.
Is that a privilege thing?
We get it.
I'm not sure.
Oh, it sounds expensive.
I don't think it was.
I mean, my family wasn't, like, rich growing up.
Well, let's see your tax returns.
Your family back then.
Hey, has Rex Chapman, quote, tweeted this yet with bruh?
Bro, this is crazy.
He gets 42,000. Yeah, yeah like has he gone viral again for this and like yeah i don't know what was the original tweet that he went viral for dude every tweet he
just started just saying he capitalizes on other people's content that's all he does he's a quote
tweet king i have not known this or i think he just rips videos and just tweets them on his own.
I don't think he actually quote tweets them.
Either way, he's a prod.
People were shaming him last week.
I don't know what he did, but.
Is there any chance she was able to recognize that this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity?
And that she should probably just, I don't know.
What, like go on the Ellen show?
Throw one of these.
Like throw a shaka. like, I don't know. What, like go on the Ellen show? Throw one of these. Like, throw a shaka.
Oh.
Yeah, do something.
Yeah.
I heard she said Viacom Dios before she got ripped up in the air.
Damn.
You know, they say if you want the ultimate, you got to be willing to pay the ultimate price.
They do say that.
They do say that.
I don't know how this kid didn't get seriously injured.
Well, I'm just going to say this.
I'm going to be very blunt here.
Kites are lame.
This is like a super kite, though.
You ever go to the kite festival? This ain't your grandma's kite.
No, I don't go to the kite festival, Dylan,
because one time I wanted to go take Rosie for a nice little game of fetch,
and I went down to Zilker, and the damn kite festival was going on,
and I was like, well, this ain't going to work.
You didn't want Rosie getting wrapped up in a kite?
No.
Just going airborne?
Just soaring.
She probably would have loved it.
Yeah, dude, that's her shit.
Yeah, she loves flying.
Dude, she would have seen all the shadows from up there and been freaking out.
Oh, yeah.
Do people know about that?
I don't know.
Rosie just chases shadows constantly?
She might see ghosts.
If she's outside, oh, Rosie sees ghosts sometimes.
I don't like
that well there was a ghost in your apartment at one point it was a dog i know my old dog paget
yeah sheesh no no word on that yeah i'm not a kite guy never have been like they're kind of
lame but people like them judging by the kite festival in austin which is crazy popular you
drive by that thing and it's just like it's like um the movie 300 when all the arrows are coming down yeah but that's just a bunch of
people whose identity is just flying kites block out the sun it's like cool dude like you haven't
grown up since you were six figure it out a lot of nerds out there sorry to all my kite boys out
there i don't mean to just like ruin like ruin your life right now just don't get it it's just
the kite community don't come at us.
I feel like my parents bought me a kite, and I was like, sick.
Like, where's my Playmobil?
I had some kites.
I remember the worst time being when, like, we flew it in too high of winds,
and it, like, cracked it, and it wouldn't go airborne anymore
because there was, like, a hole in it.
I feel like the only time we had fun with kites is when we would start flying them
and then try to just dive bomb them into our friends that were standing
in another part of the field try to hurt them try to tangle them up just
whip them in the air damn did you know that kites are still very popular in modern china chinese
kites usually represent mythological characters symbolic creatures as well as legendary figures
so i mean these are like d some of the i don't know what the taiwan um kite festival is that
brings in some like geopolitical uh conversations that we don't need to have.
But that being said, there's some pretty intricate kites out there.
I was never flying anything like this.
So, yes, I believe they're big in Asia.
Maybe the issue for me is that I broke boy kites.
I definitely did.
I didn't have dope kites.
I had a Batman one.
I had a Batman kite, and that's the one that ended up getting a ended up getting like a little slit in it, and like that was it.
I was just bummed.
Had to go home.
Take my kite and go home.
Sorry.
Yeah, that's how they invented electricity.
They flew a kite into a –
The key.
The key.
Ben Franklin, right?
It was Herbie Hancock.
Oh, that's right.
I always get those two confused.
Yeah, what did it do with the key?
I forgot that story.
I don't know.
Has this ever been proven?
This doesn't sound real.
I'm at the point in my life where I don't believe anything that happened like 300 years ago.
Okay.
Like, I feel like it's just a bunch of, like, I feel like the most powerful dudes were like,
wait, okay, so this guy, this guy, hey, do you hear about this guy in Pittsburgh?
He allegedly invented electricity.
It's like, I think we can steal this idea from him and just put it on our pile of ideas.
No, they stole it from Tesla.
Yeah, true, true.
Nikola.
Yeah.
We taught the world how to eat.
I'm just like, I feel like I just don't, like, we don't know.
I don't see video of people creating electricity,
so how do I know it's real?
I mean, someone did something.
I mean, someone created it, invented it.
I don't even know how it works.
Franklin's kite was not struck by lightning.
If it had been, he probably would have been electrocuted, experts say.
Instead, the kite picked up the ambient electrical charge from the storm. Yeah, that makes
a little bit more sense.
Was ambient the color of the energy?
Well.
Then he popped one, slept for two days,
did some weird shit.
Yeah, y'all lost me.
311, dude.
Come original.
I could see you actually liking 311 dude come original I could see you actually liking 311 there's a metal key
Franklin attached it to a hemp string
sick
with his son's
we need Wilmon's kites
with his son's help
he got the kite aloft
then they waited
just as he was beginning to despair
Priestley wrote
I don't know who that is
Franklin noticed loose threads on the hamstring standing erect.
Sick.
Just as if they had been suspended on a common conductor.
Dude, just erect hamstrings?
I'm in.
Yeah, I mean, am I backing on kites?
Sounds like a good weekend.
Yeah.
Just erect on hemp?
Very cool.
Very cool.
Maybe I should have a kite festival at Wilmots
and strings only it probably it probably go better than the fight festival we had
like a fucking Dothraki wedding in there that was a mistake yes yeah we turns out
you have to get sanctioned for that kind of stuff like him strings only a good
name for the Wilmont's kite festival though hemp strings yeah only yeah i like that i like that a lot i gotta be honest my back is sore from
my getting taken taking spills this weekend bro it's that it's that pull-up man you're really
engaging the lats a little bit falling wake surfing is the the easiest fall of all the
water easily yeah it's like that was a misnomer. It's not from falling.
It's literally just from getting pulled up.
You just gently submerge.
It's basically a fall on that.
Dylan, you've just never caught big boy air, so you don't understand.
David.
David.
Did you do the 360 thing?
I can't believe y'all came up to me about not throwing the rope in,
like all these fucking dorks online.
Dude, that's the thing, man.
Well, you didn't chug a beer either. You got in dog i will say i will say everybody that i most people
that i responded to and said it was my first time most people said oh okay you did pretty well for
your first time then did you chug a beer or not no i didn't you know i invented david you know
dylan coined that i invented it was the first one to chug a beer while on a, what were you on, like a knee board? I was on a wake surf board. How old were you?
This was like 2006, so my early 20s.
23.
2006.
You were in your mid-30s.
No, I was 23.
I chugged a white Russian on a skim board.
Why would you do that?
No one's doing that.
Didn't they used to call you the white Russian?
No one has ever done that in history.
People were like, dude, skimboard, not milk.
Oh, my God.
You need to rename the White Russian to something with Dave.
The White Dave.
You can't do that.
Don't do the White Dave.
No, I don't know.
I could see this working.
There's something there.
There's something there.
I just don't know what it is. Someone's done this. i'm just trying to think i don't know any russian like i can't
even do like a fake russian word i don't know the word done russian do you don't worry about it he's
president of russia he should know i'm not if dave knew if dave was fluent in russian it would be the
weirdest thing in the world it would actually make me really wonder about a lot it It would be even weirder if he kept it a secret this whole time
and then just laid it out one day.
If there weren't photos from Dave's childhood that I've seen,
I would think that Dave could possibly be a Third Rock from the Sun type of person
that just got taken to the earth.
They weren't deep fakes.
They could have been deep fakes.
They're already in baseball.
I'm more of a shallow fakes guy.
That's bad.-hmm that's not shallow fakes are like that's what you do on the
whatever little Adobe on your phone app where you can make thick the photo
shops and they're real shitty just that's a shallow thing yeah raycon if you don't know what that means if you don't know if you've never heard that Hello, fake. Yeah. Raycon.
If you don't know what that means, if you've never heard that before, it's because you don't own a pair of Raycons.
Raycon.
Sorry.
It's the most satisfying way to put earbuds into your ears.
It means it's on, is what it means.
They're just great.
They're great.
If you're not familiar with Raycon, you should be.
RayJ's involved.
That's always a good thing.
I use them all the time.
I've been listening to a lot lately.
I've been getting my Peloton on with these things in,
getting some podcasts in at the pool.
I might just go play a solo round of golf this week and just toss in one of them and just go chill.
Think about that.
But the best way to listen is using a premium wireless earbud,
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That's a nice little feature.
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Because some headphones you can't clean.
Or if you, you know, without compromising the integrity, the Raycons, you can just pop the little rubber piece off. Yep.
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So I got an issue, guys.
Instagram recently released something to combat TikTok.
Reels is what you're talking about.
It's called Reels.
Yeah.
And I have to say, it's making me look like the most horny person online every time I sign into Instagram.
Dude, I've checked it.
I've updated.
Just for the sake of this conversation, I've updated my Explore page on instagram four times so far okay and each time
i am served and this is the top square or rectangle i guess the the one they're trying to promote the
most and it is always um it takes up more than half the screen the the real promotion when you
go to your discover feed takes up more than half the screen it's huge and it's just like these super
attractive instagram thotties over and over
and over again. And they're usually wearing close to nothing. They're trying to get us in trouble.
What's going on? So I just opened mine. It's a girl in front of her grandma and mother in their
living room. She's wearing jean shorts that are riding all the way up her butt. And she's twerking,
doing the splits on the ground.
And here, I don't even need to worry about refreshing right now, because I know the second I refresh, it'll go to something else that's really inappropriate.
I just refreshed, and now all I'm seeing is a girl named Francesca on the beach showing her evolution of being 25 years old.
Now she's skiing.
She's 5'8", a Virgo.
It's like, what?
That's too much information.
Why am I seeing this shit? I just got that same one.
So mine is a lot of choreographed dances.
Mine are too.
And I do like those in certain scenarios.
The Return of the Mac one that was going out yesterday.
The dude outside of his car.
That was great.
This I don't like.
These people are trying too hard.
The other trend on here is...
This girl's just getting out of the pool and her top fell off.
Another trend is these girls who are wearing pajamas and then they'll do a hair whip and
then it'll flash to them being all dressed up and looking super.
What is going on here?
Oh my gosh.
This is ridiculous.
You shouldn't be seeing these things when you're just signing into Instagram.
I just want to know.
This is an OnlyFans.
I want to know what Kale's wearing when he's going
to a concert and then what he's wearing to church.
Yeah. And then when he's with the boys.
That's what I want to know. What accounts do I need to follow
to get country boy TikToks on my Instagram reels?
Kale first and foremost.
Sally's not going to look over at me on my phone
while I'm scrolling my Instagram feed trying to find
some new stuff. She's not going to look
over at me looking at Kale
with his trucker hat set way
too low on his brow while like driving in his truck singing along to dirks bentley or something
people are gonna people are gonna say like oh this is just an algorithm because y'all follow
hot chicks like we don't we don't just like follow instagram thotties the only hot chick
i follow is my wife yes my wife yes that's right this but it's like yeah it's it's so ridiculous and yeah i have
to say like i don't follow very many like quote-unquote instagram models not enough to
warrant this i don't think i do i don't know i don't even follow uh emma i follow too she's more
than instagram maybe i follow i follow the bikini a day girls because they go to like dope ass I don't even follow Emma. I follow, too. She's more than Instagram, maybe.
I follow the Bikini A Day girls because they go to dope-ass locations.
What about the Brokini A Day guys?
The Brokini A Day guys caught the unfollow.
When I started following and dating Lauren, I was fed nothing but hot golf girls.
I don't want to blame her.
If you're an attractive golf girl, I know who you are because of Instagram. When I started
following her, my discovery changed
a little bit. Yeah.
I follow a lot of golf.
Well, I follow like one
golf meme account, Zyre Golf.
And I feel like I'm often
served like trick
shot videos and dudes just hitting
absurd piss missiles like at Topgolf.
Like I see the Mike Trout hitting at Topgolf like I see the
Mike Trout hitting uh at Topgolf like the same video that's been around for two years I see
that like every other day from a different golf thing on my Discover feed the one I just got was
just this top heavy young lady walking downstairs in slow motion and wearing a uh a sports bra and
it was just what She was just bouncing.
Top heavy.
Was she wearing a big chunky wool sweater or something?
Yes.
Okay.
She was ample chested is what I'm trying to say.
I just don't understand it.
The Sunday...
I just don't.
I truly don't get it.
If I'm on the Sunday Scaries feed,
I don't even...
It's a business account.
Is this happening for everyone across the board?
It's the horniest platform. Randy, blink twice if you're getting horny things on your
feed too yeah we've been dinged as like horny old men or something like why are we getting yeah
that's the knock on us i feel like i feel like if you follow like say you follow barstool tfm
old row and like something else say you're following all those i understand because i
think a lot of those,
those people that follow those at this point also follow like TFM girls,
blah,
blah,
blah,
like all that kind of stuff.
I don't follow any of that stuff anymore.
And like,
it doesn't really,
it doesn't translate that.
I'm just still seeing horny content.
Look,
man,
everything is fucking.
Let's see what the circling back reels look like.
We all learned that this one's going to be all bachelor. See the circling back reels look like. We all learned that.
This one's going to be all bachelor.
See, the circling back when I go in, it's Zion doing an interview.
Like, I want that.
Mine's a lot of MMA, too.
Mine's pretty much MMA, choreographed dancing, and golf, and then some golf influencer.
See, the circling back one's actually accurate.
It's a bunch of dudes dancing in Target.
See, I'm in for that.
This is on brand for us.
I like that kind of stuff.
What I don't like is just I don't necessarily need somebody putting their camera up in their living room
and doing a real serious dance and looking right into the camera.
One thing I don't get about this, too, and I guess this is a larger issue when it comes to like tick tock and, and reels or whatever you're calling them and reels.
Like,
so now these content creators,
instead of just going to like dope locations,
we've gotten to the point in like quarantine where now people are just
taking eight second videos in their house and that's how they make a full
time living.
Yeah.
It's,
uh,
it's yeah.
Welcome to 2020,
man.
I do want to do the one where you throw shoes in the air and pretend like they land on your feet and then your entire outfit changes.
That one always kind of blows my mind.
That's a sick one, actually, yeah.
Or what about the couple who are standing in the mirror
and then they flip the lights off and then back on and they're closed.
Oh, they're closed.
Dude, pilot Pete did one.
It was recently sent to me, and it is one of the worst things I've ever seen.
Pilot Pete's on a tear of bad content.
He needs to stop doing content. He doesn't need to do that anymore.
See, the circling
back one's actually honed in because I just went to this
one and it's just a giant tortoise. Okay.
Yeah, that's us. That's more our speed.
Oh, I've seen that one. I might just deactivate
and just only use the circling back account now. Let me see
what the too much dip one is.
And then we have a guy playing xylophone. Like, yeah,
circling back's got it right.
This is exactly the kind of stuff
that I don't want.
Exactly. Who watches this crap?
This is the too much dip one. Why?
Oh, yeah, that guy
knows what he's doing.
What song is that?
Ed Sheeran, dude. Is that a xylophone?
Yeah. Circling Back's reels
are the best. Yeah, that's tight.
You could say they're the real deal.
You know what I mean?
That's sick, dude.
Dude, so sick.
Sick.
Can I give a quick unsolicited recommendation?
We borderline steamed right there, by the way.
We did.
We should have probably hit it.
Do you guys have any unsolicited recommendations, or is it just me?
I feel like we should all drop one right now.
You go.
You can start with yours.
I'll start with mine.
I told you guys this before, and I know this is going to sound like soccer whale coming out of the woodwork again that no one wants to fucking hear it.
Right.
But I mean this.
Amazon Prime does a very entertaining series called All or Nothing where they follow around a professional sports team.
They've done it with more than just soccer.
One of my favorite ones actually wasn't just the soccer one. They did a Cowboys one. They've done it with more than just soccer. One of my favorite ones, actually, wasn't just the soccer one.
They did a Cowboys one.
They did Cowboys.
The New Zealand All Blacks rugby team, sick.
Fascinated by them.
Well, as of today, they have released their new one on Amazon Prime.
That's Tottenham Hotspur, London-based soccer team,
who had a very tumultuous season.
Not only were they just kind of bad for most of the season,
but they fired their manager.
They hired the most intriguing manager in the world.
People are going to dispute that because they don't like him,
but he's entertainment value through the roof.
And then they also had a guy go into the stands and try to fight people,
which is always fun.
More of that in sports.
The debut episode of this season comes out today on Amazon Prime.
I implore you to watch it.
Just give it your business for like 30 to 45 minutes
and just let me know if you want to keep going.
We'll see about it.
And I also started watching the Le Mans documentary this weekend.
I think it's from 2017, so it's a little older.
Greg Le Mans?
Yeah, that one.
No, it's the 24-hour car race.
Oh, okay.
I see how you would think that.
I really did think that. 24-hour car race. It's okay. I see how you would think that. I really did think that.
24-hour car race.
It's an older documentary that I think a lot of people have seen,
but I saw it and I was like, you know what, this makes sense that I should watch it.
And the race that you noted was from Ford versus Ferrari.
Yeah.
I've been watching that.
I have two episodes left.
Another phenomenal documentary series.
You can watch Ford versus Ferrari, too.
I'm going to.
I'm going to.
Once I'm done watching this documentary one, I'm going to go in.
Now it's officially not just for rent
on Apple whatever. You can actually
just watch it on Netflix or
Hulu or some shit right now.
Have you guys been watching anything?
Yellowstone.
You started.
I already finished the first season.
I have the season finale of the first season left for tonight.
Oh, so you're where I am then. I thought you were further along. Oh, I have the season finale of the first season left for tonight. Oh, so you're where I am then.
I thought you were further along.
No.
Oh, okay.
I've been slowly chopping through it.
Yeah.
You liking it?
Man, it's good.
Not great.
Everything, like nothing goes right.
Every two minutes there's a terrible crisis going on.
Have you ever seen the show Prison Break?
No.
Prison Break is a show that has too many twists and turns yeah it's really entertaining but there's so many that
it's like you can't really put stock in anything because you're like wait this could change in two
seconds there's just no way this much bad stuff can happen to one group of people consecutively
over and over and over again it's just one terrible thing after the next correct like it's
gotta end like there's something good has to happen at some point.
Would you unsolicited recommendation this to people at a group dinner
if you were sitting at a table talking about what you're streaming lately?
I really like it.
I don't love it yet.
I'm in the same boat.
Yeah.
It's really entertaining.
And the shots of Montana are enough just to keep me glued in
and the fits and that ranch house and everything going on.
I mean, it's cool.
It's a good show.
But, like, the storyline is just a little aggressive.
Have I already recommended The Last Narc?
I feel like we've talked about it. Is that about Micah?
Is this a bit?
It's about Micah.
I can't tell if you're doing a bit or not.
No, I highly recommend it.
It's also on Amazon.
This is just season one.
But if you like Narcos Mexico, then
this is kind of like a nice...
I don't think they're related, but it's
a supplemental piece to it. It's a
actual
documentary behind
the DEA agent who is
kidnapped and killed by the cartel.
Highly recommend.
Check it out. I may have talked about this in the mail.
I can't remember we talk too much
check it out
it's worth it
if you like Narcos Mexico
this is very good
they have some guys
who were in the cartel
that were extradited
to the United States
and ended up flipping
and they kind of
give candid information
about like what happened
what went on
oh it's a documentary
yeah
oh okay
yeah yeah yeah
okay
really worth
it's only four episodes, like an hour each.
Definitely worth it.
Okay.
If you thought the last Narcos, the one about Kiki, the DEA agent was good, you'll really
enjoy this.
There's another show out there on Prime that's also about Kiki Camarena.
You sure this isn't it?
No.
Damn.
I need to find out what that is.
I'm not sure if it's not it.
Maybe I thought it was a...
I didn't realize this was a – I didn't realize this was –
I didn't realize what you were talking about was a documentary,
so maybe I mistook that as a fictitious show and not a documentary.
This is good.
Okay.
This is really well done.
Okay.
Okay.
Damn.
Okay, here we go.
Before we get out of here, we've got two more things.
Let's talk about MeUndies real quick.
MeUndies wants to talk about your underwear, and so do I.
They have a lot of feelings about their underwear.
Are you aware of this?
It's because they're proud of them, and they should be.
These things are soft.
They're great.
They're comfy as heck.
They are.
They give you a lot of freedom.
Well, it's that micromodal fabric.
Right now.
You love to see some micromodal fabric.
They even have fun colors and prints like dinos and surfboards.
You think I don't know that?
We like dinos, and we like surfboards because we're party wave guys. Do they have wake colors and prints like dinos and surfboards. You think I don't know that? We like dinos and we like surfboards
because we're party wave guys. Do they have wake surfboards
or just surfboards? They should do a dinosaur
surfing collab.
That would play. The thing I like about
MeUndies the most is that MeUndies is serious about
softness. Like so
serious that they scoured the world for the
softest fabric known to man. It all
starts with sustainably sourced beechwood
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You didn't even know that.
You didn't know they had beechwood trees that were going into pulp.
I definitely did not know that.
I did not.
These undies kind of feel like heaven on your skin.
For the comfort.
You have comfort from the outside to in.
And they're great.
You can even keep your undie drawer stocked with a MeUndies membership.
It's a subscription that sends new pairs right to your door.
Plus, you get site-wide savings and exclusive sales.
I will say, we have this, and we get it all.
I never know if I'm going to open something up and if it's underwear, if it's going to be a onesie, if it's going to be just anything.
It's always a fun surprise.
I've even got some socks from there that I mess with.
Yeah.
Pretty hard.
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We have a special edition of Brett's Breaking News
today since Brett's not here.
A little choose your own adventure.
He phoned it in.
He's our foreign correspondent.
Dylan, do you want to start with Miami real estate,
Manti Teo, or 2004 grinding songs?
Oh, let's go 2004 grinding songs.
Yeah, that's the one.
Are you guys familiar with the song Goodies by Ciara?
Not my goodies.
Ciara, sorry.
Great song.
You know it. You know the beat. You've definitely grinded to it. You just didn't, sorry. Great song. You know it.
You've definitely grinded to it.
You just didn't realize it.
My goodies.
Apparently that song almost went to Britney Spears and not her.
Not going to lie, kind of glad it went to Ciara instead.
Yeah.
Dude, Brit would have crushed it too.
Is it Ciara or Ciara?
Ciara.
No one knows, man.
I just hate her husband, so I don't really care.
He's such a boner.
He's a punchable little dude.
He's such a boner.
Dude, you know he would beat the shit out of all of us.
Have you seen him try to do content?
Yes, it's cringe.
He's the cringiest NFL quarterback.
How does she land that dude?
He's a good dude.
He's a good-looking guy.
So what, man?
He's a great dude.
Top five QB.
Good-looking guys are everywhere.
Who cares?
Oh, wow.
Must be nice.
Can I make something?
Dylan's just out here spotting good-looking guys.
He just has no personality, and he tries to have one.
Yeah, it's a little bit.
It feels forced.
I'm hating.
He is a nice guy.
Whatever.
Good quarterback.
Just embrace it.
That's interesting.
Now I can't even think about this pod.
I'm thinking about Britney Spears doing goodies, and I can't.
It's not working.
The more I think about it, the more I actually kind of want to know what Britney Spears is doing.
Maybe she should just re-release it.
We're talking 2004 Britney Spears doing goodies.
We're not talking 2020 Britney Spears.
This is end of the peak Britney, right?
Peak Britney was like 2001.
No.
I'll give her 01 to 05.
Or no, like her peak popularity was like 98 when she came out.
She was the hottest thing in the world at that time.
She was for quite some time.
True, true.
I remember, yeah.
But I think she had a run in the early 2000s that I wouldn't have
mind seeing a goodies video out of Britney Spears.
It's Britney, bitch.
Not to get too age.
Sorry, I opened my Reels feed and all of a sudden I want to see
Britney Spears doing goodies.
Manti Tael.
What happened with him?
He got married. Congratulations to Manti. What happened to him? He got married.
Congratulations to Manti.
To a real person?
A real human.
Guys.
A real human.
I felt really bad for him throughout that entire thing.
Imagine getting catfished on a national stage.
Yeah.
You've been catfished before, but never in front.
Deadspin never reported on that.
People have attempted to catfish me.
I haven't actually been catfished.
Whatever. Miami real estate. You have attempted to catfish me. I have not actually been catfished. Whatever.
Miami Real Estate.
You know Flex Seal?
Of course.
Well, he...
I don't.
Am I supposed to know this?
Flex Seal.
Flex Seal, dude.
The Kiss from a Rose?
That's not even a Heidi Klum.
Just to be clear, that's not a Heidi Klum.
It's like rubber in a can, basically.
Oh, yeah Oh yeah yeah yeah
Yeah he's the guy that like
Is that the floating boat infomercial?
Where he makes a boat out of glass
Oh yeah
Yeah
Well he just bought a 16 million dollar mansion
Oceanfront in Gulfstream
Alright
Must be nice being the Flex Seal guy
I liked leaving the pod on like a high
And this just brought me down
Flex Seal guy
Bill Swift
Out there just getting the bag.
Says he paid $20 million for it.
Really?
Even better.
So it last sold in 2016 for $15.9.
8,600 square feet.
This is an objectively good-looking house.
I would love to live at this house.
I mean, yeah.
The Flex Seal guy's doing it.
He's got a pool.
Get that bag, young man.
It looks like he's got an outdoor bar area, but I don't see a TV mounted to the wall,
unfortunately.
You've got to think there's a kegerator in there somewhere.
What's the guy's name who passed away?
He used to be like the infomercial guy.
Oh, Billy Mays?
Billy Mays here.
Yeah.
Cocaine in his system?
Died on the plane?
Yeah, it's possible.
I don't know if that's been proven.
Sorry.
I think there was.
If that's not real, then it was like a fake thing that people did.
It was probably like a Chappelle show skit.
But he actually died.
Yeah, per CNN, cocaine a factor in Billy Mays' death.
That's sad.
Yeah, it's too bad.
Don't do cocaine, kids.
Well, good for the Flex Seal guy.
Yeah, shouts to him.
If you can get that Flex Seal money, you got to him Nice Pat If you can get that Flex Seal money
You gotta take it
You gotta chase that Flex Seal money
Damn
Alright guys
Should we get out of here?
Great podcast
Yeah that was fun
I personally
Had a good time
I told you
I'm about to wet myself
I got pee pee
Yeah I got pee pee
Really?
Oh man
Alright let's get out of here
Bye
No one's bladder sneaky
Getting as bad as mine
Sneaky getting as bad as mine. Sneaky.