Circling Back - Irish Jigs, Golf Outings, and Mustaches
Episode Date: October 10, 2022A new controversy has rocked the world of Irish dancing, a bunch of Austin high school golfers were shocked by a golf outing at a local course, a kitchen setup that screams "Meat Smokers Only," the an...xiety of trimming your mustache, and recapping the weekend that was. Spooky SZN all month long for as low as $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel — www.youtube.com/circlingback Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (16:24) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (33:09) Irish Dancing Controversy (52:41) Strip Club Golf Outing Gone Wrong (1:00:45) How Do You Trim Your Mustache? (1:08:21) Absurd Kitchen Setup Support This Episode’s Sponsors Vizzy: www.vizzyhardseltzer.com/washed Shopify: www.shopify.com/circling (FREE trial) Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) Chime: www.chime.com/steam Cabinets To Go: www.cabinetstogo.com/circling (full custom 3D design of your new kitchen) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast presented by busy heart seltzer the only
heart seltzer with vitamin c from superfruit acerola my name is will defriest my left david roth hi will hello thanks for having me um you're on every episode there
was something on the uh trending topics on twitter that i just saw it says meet president
ba the self-proclaimed dictator of a micro nation in nevada you've probably never heard of anyway i
was looking at that i was like oh that's interesting what's the source i saw insider not business insider it's at this is
insider it's not that funny but i'm a very immature person is that a credible news outlet
i don't know i've got they've got a decent following they got the they're varied yeah okay
okay i'm listening
but anyway he's a self-proclaimed benevolent dictator of the republic of uh molossia a one
acre micronation with a population of 35 sounds like uh how do you create a micronation
move from micronesia that's not stupid i don't think that's how you do it I don't know yeah
guy looks like a real have you seen honey I shrunk the kids that's a mic that's a yeah okay
you take a nation and you shrink it you take the gun thing that he shot at this stuff to make it
smaller do you think the CGI was good in that movie like Like the ant. Remember the big ant? I don't think they use CGI.
What did they use?
I think they, um, they made the pledges, build it.
They use like real props and shit.
Yeah.
I think you're right.
Actually.
I think they actually made like huge things.
Yeah.
It was just kind of sick.
I think I actually like saw one of the huge things they made when I was like at Disney
world one time.
Big blades of grass.
They're like as big as this studio.
Why?
Width wise.
Let's stream room that movie. It's a good little flick, man. I know. a good little flick man i know it's been a minute i'm kind of excited now to watch
that with fritz see dave the thing is he shrunk the kids yeah they were tiny little fellas and gals
anyway hold me close a tiny don't do this dude stop he's gonna start singing sorry hold me close
dylan chivry ladies and gentlemen you have to do your own hey guys really happy to be here today
if you look over my right shoulder you might notice some new uh decor we have a couple shelves
i saw that on the live stream the too much dip live yeah check out the shelves man uh this wood
is reclaimed i think i don't Anyway, made by the Amish community.
You'll never even hear this shout out.
You'll hear about these folks.
They're not, they're not going to hear it, but.
They'd have to be standing next to someone's car who's playing the podcast.
If they buggy into town and maybe stop by like pharmacy, pick up some, you know, medicine
or something like, Hey, heard about you guys on my favorite podcast.
And they're like, what are you talking about? talking about like yeah you made those shelves for those guys anyway the stuff on the shelves
i've acquired over the years throughout my travels um just a little taste of every place i've been
over the past 20 or so years a lot of mugs on here you might notice coffee mugs yeah we know
what a mug is you play favorites with the coffee mugs with the listeners
that's exactly
what I'm about to talk about
if you blow me away
with a coffee mug
and it's gotta be like
you're
the competition
is getting more and more
stiff
chill
if you blow me away
and just send me something
that's better than
what I'm looking at back here
I'm gonna feature your shit
why are you so thirsty
I'm gonna feature
your coffee mug
the listeners do enough
and you're just begging for action.
This one right here, decaf is for wimps.
So true.
Is that the one?
So true.
Will drinks decaf.
I don't drink decaf.
Not surprising.
I drink half-calf.
Don't do it like that.
I drink half-calf.
There's a toilet bowl mug.
Are you kidding?
That's so funny.
That's my least favorite one.
That's so funny.
Anyway, check it out, man.
Oh, look at my gourd.
It's a little pumpy.
Dude, stop.
Which one is it?
Which one is it?
It's a little pumpkin.
It's a mini pump.
It's what they call Dave at the gym, actually.
Ha ha.
Yeah, I figured I'd bring that in, man.
It's seasonal.
Don't try to take credit for Randy's tapes up there.
No, those are cool.
That's a nice touch.
I don't really even know the story.
I just remember day one, Randy came in,
or I guess it was like day 300 because of the pandemic,
and he had those ready to rock for the studio.
He used it for video or something or something.
I don't know.
It was the Pull the Tape segment.
Yes.
We should do that again.
I don't know.
You got exposed a lot during Pull the Tape.
Yeah.
All the tapes.
You took more L's during Pull the Tape than anybody.
All the tapes are representative of something we've discussed
or our favorite things.
It's pretty cool, man.
Posty's up there.
Limp Bizkit.
She post Malone got hurt at a
concert a few weeks ago what happened fell this was this before or after he had to cancel mid
show because it's like vocal cord collapsed or something i think this was after this was a rib
issue i believe not no he actually uh he had a rib added so he would stop fgl's up there too will that's for you
i almost uh with the the new meme formats floating around because you can use images
and videos and your tweets now and gifs i almost did something that no one's doing
and i almost put up the country boy uh will nobody. With the Pope holding it. Nobody wants to see that.
The Pope,
famously,
the Pope
is on Twitter.
Maybe he would have seen it
and thrown me a retweet.
Did you see Zeej met the Pope?
Do you think,
who was more excited to meet who?
You know,
people were debating.
The man has two majors
under his belt.
What would the Pope's
master's dinner be like?
Well, what does the Pope eat?
What's the Pope's diet?
Wafers and red wine, dude.
There it is.
He's just absolutely vibing out here.
Just wafers.
You can't fill up on wafers.
You gotta eat so many wafers.
Yeah.
There's just piles of them.
You have a treasure chest of wafers
waiting at your table with your green jacket.
Can you dress it up with a little hot sauce or anything?
It's going to get bland.
Ooh, a hot sauce.
I don't know.
I just want something.
Let's take a syrup or something.
Like a Frank?
Syrup.
Syrup.
Okay.
Man, I'm happy to be here, though.
Thanks for having me.
Took my dog out this morning, 5 a.m.
Cool story.
5 a.m.
When I called her to come in, she didn't want to do that.
I spent the next 45 minutes of my morning from 5 to 5 45 uh chasing my dog around the park next door to
our place it's dark outside at that time it is dark outside at that time um i i didn't i did
not bring anything because i didn't think she would need it in order to uh to rein her in
meaning like a leash or something it got to the point where sally thought i disappeared and she
came out to make sure that was was there. You got taken?
Will gets taken.
I'm down so bad.
It's not fun.
I'm sorry, man. You're always doing human trafficking jokes.
Yeah, what's up with that, dude?
I don't know.
It's kind of your niche around the office.
I have a very particular set of skills.
And they include human trafficking jokes?
No.
I'll save you.
Which Wayfair piece is your favorite?
I don't want to talk about it.
Who would be the best?
Who would have the best skill set to go get Will back from his kidnappers?
It's definitely me.
Why is that?
I'm sneaky as fuck.
Just rip your throat out.
You know, stuff like that.
Okay.
After hearing the answers, when I was famously answers when i was famously coming for you when i was famously on the brunch live none of you after
what i'm about to say i was famously on the brunch live stream and people talked about who would die
first on a straight like on a deserted island and i learned that everyone at the company said me
obviously i said randy would last the longest and i don't think it's even close not if there's
booze out there yeah he'll just drink himself to death he just loses voice like oh oh yeah he's
out for three days after getting after getting loose on one dude you want me coming to save you
though i heard the way that the way that it was portrayed your answer to this was
there's no way i if i see you on a deserted island i will make sure that i'm not the first one dead
you're toast man no i'll be fine i don't think i've even done their their stream or their pod
i tried to do one and they lost the audio that's how bad i was so i i think if you took all
domesticated animals and release them into the wild i think the english bulldog would probably
be the first one to be completely eradicated you're like they shouldn't even
be here you're the english bulldog fuck you of people fuck you fuck you just kidding man that's
so rude i was kidding that's so you'll be fine you'll whittle together like some uh
i don't know like some dope like mittens and shit you'll be what you're gonna mount a tv
out there and just save the world?
That's what you're going to do?
That's the first thing I would do on a deserted island is knit mittens.
Well, if you're in the mountains or something, maybe.
That's different.
There are different environments.
Different topography.
Different environments pose different challenges, Dave.
It's true.
Yeah, I don't know why I'd need mittens on.
You wouldn't.
You'd better spend like hunting and gathering. I have thought about buying some. He wouldn't. He'd better spend like hunting and gathering.
I have thought about buying some.
He was knitting.
I've thought about buying some,
I've thought about buying
some kayaking gloves.
I've scraped my hand twice so far
and it's not a good feeling.
I mean, look at this, David.
It's not that bad.
Can you believe I'm here?
What?
Can you believe I'm even here today?
You're lucky you have that thumb stuff.
I know.
I thought it was going to come straight off.
Wait.
What is is do they
make kayak gloves yeah they're kind of swag too are they just like weightlifting gloves they have
the fingers cut off yeah god nobody wears those anymore good that's some dork they're pretty swag
i mean if you're wearing them these days you're like a serious bodybuilder. I'm going to start wearing them.
A lot of just like narbs who think they know what they're doing in there, they'll wear them.
Like, oh, this guy's really trying to get in shape.
I don't want to damage my hand, my calluses.
Yeah.
Chicks dig calluses.
Yeah.
It's man shit.
I mean, I would love to have a bunch of calluses on my hands that
sounds great come put up big boy wait with me and dave you'll see what happens oh yeah
mr big calluses over here shit let me see your calluses yeah you don't have any i got some none
none davy let's see boy okay dave dave has straight calluses i do too no you don't
dave's out callusing you shit too no you don't look at my shit dave's out
callusing that shit you kidding they were calling me calisi
i've always loved you calisi it's game of thrones if you guys haven't seen it check out house of
dragons on hbl dave's out here dude he's the call. Oh, yes. Stupid. Never forget where you were that day.
Stupid.
I was at a house party in San Marcos.
I was actually there.
I was in Boulder, Colorado with my dad.
I was in the scrum.
Nobody thought it was as cool as I did.
People were just partying and I was like, dude, this is like a big deal.
This is a thing that's, they're going to have documentaries on it and shit.
They're like, dude, whatever.
It's good to talk to these chicks.
I was doing a college visit.
No.
Really?
I didn't even get to unpackage what happened with my boys at school the next day.
Where'd you visit?
What's Colorado?
Boulder.
They were recruiting you?
Ooh.
We took one step on that campus.
My dad looked around at all the people there and he was like, you can't go here.
Why?
You're going to burn out.
A lot of people smoking pot.
A bunch of dopers.
Is that why?
Vibes off the charts, though.
Yeah.
Vibes off the charts.
Boulder's sick.
Never been, but I can tell I'd like it.
It's good.
Hey, we got big news.
Spooky season returns tomorrow.
Ooh.
Ooh.
All October long, every single Tuesday. Go make it happen patreon.com circling back podcast get in
and get out for just five dollars a month we got content just streaming through your veins
enjoy it leave a voicemail for us 888-618-4422 again 888-618-4422 go leave a review and most
of all head over to our new youtube channel, youtube.com slash circling back and
just go watch our episodes.
We're way more fun, especially now that the new stew looks so hot.
Dylan's got his shelves behind him.
Shockingly attractive too, if you haven't seen us.
You know how they say real G's move in silence like lasagna?
Yeah.
Or something like that.
I think that's the wrong way to say it.
No, you crushed that.
Whenever you hang or mount something, like you just show how little of a real g you are
are you kidding are you kidding because he just talks about how he's like the greatest
mounter of all time by the way no surprise that i hung these shelves no surprise they're floating
shelves though they float you hang floating shelves that they're just floating i just
asked them to stay put where did we get get that wood? Is that not from Amazon?
Am I stupid here?
It's actually from the Amish community.
But did you not get it from Amazon?
Yeah.
How did Amazon collaborate with the Amish community in order to sell these shelves?
A pigeon brought a message in from town.
A raven.
I think it was near Erie, Pennsylvania.
Said the raven, Khaleesi.
It flew out to the Amish folks.
They're like, oh, Amish media wants a couple of our shelves. You know how you're talking to the amish folks they're like oh you know media
wants a couple of our shelves you know you're talking about like the amish people pulling up
in like a buggy yeah do their buggies have like the old horns they can be like
i don't think they have horns man are they even like they don't even deal with like i got bells
dude they got cowbells the tech's not there those horns were sick the tech's not there yet for the
awuga horn. No.
Those things don't have any power to them.
Can I say something speaking of power?
Will mentioned spooky season.
If you have a spooky story you'd like to share,
maybe a news story or a personal anecdote,
maybe something you heard from a friend of a friend,
you can email it to spooky at washedmedia.com
or just go to the Washed Media website and check out the Spooky Season page.
And there's a forum there, Will.
A forum?
Forum.
Oh, okay.
I thought we weren't fortunate enough to have Dylan bring those back.
Extreme East Texas Day Forum.
It's my East Texas accent.
I've been working on it.
I'll be there this weekend.
Shout out to Tyler.
Also, as always, Washed Media shop., washedmedia.shop is that URL.
Go check it out.
We got out-of-office hats,
Fajita Varsity shirts,
stickers are back in stock,
TMD bar hats.
We got it all, baby.
Fajita Varsity sounds really funny.
Yeah.
No JV out here.
I sizzled last night.
Oh, sorry.
Speaking of,
recapping this weekend in fun,
presented by our friends over at roback
killing over here if you just if you if you sit there at matt's el rancho and you have a roback
qz on which we are entering that era of the year your qz will smell like fajitas but some say that's
just living uh yeah i guess that's pretty accurate if i if i leave your restaurant and i don't smell like fajitas
your restaurant has failed your restaurant has six months to live damn roback's got it all right
now they got their performance polos the qz's the shorts are going dummy the hoodies man good point
you've seen these hoodies dave yes i can't i can't wait until I can wear one all day when the weather's just crispy enough.
They're a polo that's called the Austin, which is the burnt orange Texas pattern one.
It's become my game day shirt.
You were wearing it on game day.
Yeah.
I didn't wear it for one game this year and Texas played poorly.
So it's now become my superstitious game day shirt.
I think that has more to do with the personnel than your shirt.
I don't think so, man. I think it was a shirt. I'm sorry I didn't wear it that game. Dylan's superstitious game day shirt. I think that has more to do with the personnel than your shirt. I don't think so, man.
I think it was the shirt.
I'm sorry I didn't wear it that game.
Dylan.
Tech.
Superstitious.
Tech.
Roback shirt is on.
Backer 20 will get you 20% off at checkout.
Backer 20.
The number 20.
You're going to like the way you look.
What did you do this weekend, Dylan?
Ooh, wow.
Thank you for asking.
Friday was a nice little night in with the kids.
Bay actually stepped out with some friends for dinner,
so I was at home with Parks and Lil' Bay, and it was fantastic, man.
We just chilled.
I watched some crappy college football, had a glass of wine.
Oh, I took them to Dirty's for burgers.
That was fun.
Y'all went to Dirty Bill's.
No, Dirty's.
It's actually called Dirty Martin's. It's a a burger joint on campus we've talked about it before actually
you guys don't know about it but i told you i don't it's really it's cool it's a good spot
where is it on your burger list we need to do a burger challenge uh it's it's top 10 for me
top 10 wow oh man that must be really okay it's a really okay. It actually is a really good burger. What's a comp?
Give me just a comp.
Yeah.
What's it closest to?
Top 10 is such a bad recommendation.
What are we looking at on patty size?
A good patty size, man.
Covers the full bun.
Full coverage.
How thick?
Are we talking quarter inch?
We're talking standard thickness, but it's got full coverage of bun, which is nice.
Are they made to order?
Your first bite is going to be meat and bread.
How are these cooked?
I believe they're charbroiled.
I don't know.
They throw them on the griddle there, whatever that's called.
What do you call that?
Flat top?
I used to have one of those in middle school, actually.
Flat top.
Anyway, Saturday, Parks' team moved to five and oh soccer he scored a goal for the third
game in a row the kids just absolutely sick with it right now they're gonna start cutting into
college football games with parks goal watch also got an assist on a corner kick that's big you got
to see you got to feed the family everyone eats when he's on the field. That's what he says. Yeah.
And then I watch.
What was his, is he still doing the same celebration?
He's got, now that he's scoring at such a rapid pace, he's got to start mixing things up.
It's just arm strength.
It's cute.
It's a cute scene when he scores.
Do it, do it.
I'm afraid that I have pits.
It doesn't matter.
Who cares?
Dude, you live in Texas.
Pitting out's sick.
Am I pitting?
No.
I mean, a little bit, maybe.
Okay.
Maybe a little more. There's some droplets, but it's fine.
Okay.
It gets warm in the studio.
I've learned I don't care if I pit out anymore.
I'm like married.
I don't either.
Anyway, it's a cute Sally.
You are like married.
Mega cute Sally.
Anyway, 5-0.
Kid's nice with the ball.
Saturday, after that, watch the horns absolutely beat down Oklahoma.
It's Quinn season.
The kid's for real.
He can spin it.
Between the Horns and the boys,
I'm going to have quite an insufferable too much dip this afternoon.
Yeah, I was eating this weekend.
Dude, I've been thinking,
do you guys only talk about Texas football and stuff?
No, we don't.
What's the deal with that?
Dude, I watch Oregon State, bro.
I'm a Utah guy.
My
playoff prediction is not
going to come true.
The rest of the weekend was just spent hanging out with Parks,
man. I got some really good father-son time, man.
It was a fantastic weekend.
Took them to the Austin FC game yesterday.
Thrilling 1-1
draw.
Don't you love that?
Why don't you holler at me to go to the game?
I would have gone with you.
I just had two ticks, man.
Sorry.
Find me one next time.
All right, maybe I will.
What section?
Were y'all in like the rowdy section?
Right next to it.
Okay.
Like if there were goal lines,
we'd be like the five, about eight yards deep.
Oh, okay.
That makes sense. that's a care business
we had a great time we thought we were in like the the cool area or like the you know free from
heathens area but some dudes just start spraying beer yeah i like leaving again i like leaving a
hot summer game soaked in beer all time just father-son bonding weekend man i really really
had a good time man that's big for you in the squad when you said you were hanging out at park
with parks the entire weekend i thought you might have just been like going park to park just kind
of sitting on benches feeding the birds just forrest gump style tossing out bread yeah nah
just thinking about shit no that's my also my son's name i got worried about you i was like
man i might have to go find Dylan on Find Friends.
Hey, man, come home.
Pat him on the back.
Enough's enough.
Hey, dude, son's about to go down.
I think it's time.
He was just at the park small.
Let's go get you something to eat, man.
Let's clean you up.
Yeah.
Anyway, Dave, how about your weekend?
Well, Friday was a good day.
Hit some golf balls in the morning. Came here mixed it up went to a little company happy hour with uh the lads randy and uh brett merriman i don't know
if you can call that a company happy hour well the credit card did so yeah we just had uh we
had a couple beers had some chicken strips it was a good time
uh black sheep lodge great bar great bar good food you were right about the i didn't have the
burger but i saw someone get the burger it looked like a good burger it's a good burger is it in
your top 10 though you know what yeah something tells me there's more than 10 burgers in this top
10 it's in my top 10 we're gonna have to get a full breakdown of that in one of these episodes.
Friday night, stayed in.
Didn't do any...
Oh, no, we didn't.
We went and ate sushi, Alyssa and I.
Sorry.
I got a little into one.
I saw a friend from high school I hadn't seen in like 20 years, something like that.
Oh, hey, man.
Yeah.
It was great.
The restaurant we were at... conducive to standing in the middle of the like no walkway possibly the worst place to run
into an old friend but had a good time uh saturday i went to dylan's as did you well i don't mean to
cuck your weekend and fun but we watched the Texas OU game
which
I felt bad
because like
it was like
42-0
and I was like
oh I think this
Kansas TCU game
is a banger
I think that's
exactly what I said
and Dylan was nice enough
a gracious host
to switch it on
and put on the
last few minutes
of the Texas game
in his little side room
on his
42 inch TV.
Is that correct?
That's right.
42 inches.
Give or take.
Hung out there.
Hung out there for a bit.
Went home.
Brett texted.
Went back out.
Met Brett and the boys, Randy included, at WTF.
Was that a company happy hour too?
No, that wasn't.
Just hate that name.
It's awful.
Just a bad bar name.
Didn't hate the bar, but just the name is just –
I feel like a dork saying it.
Watched the Ole Miss game.
And then, yeah, went home.
Was in bed by like 9, 9.30 Saturday.
Yesterday, low-key day, went and hit balls again.
Working on some stuff.
Not finding anything.
It's not good.
Got a golf thing this weekend.
Not prepared.
But, yeah, I'll yield my time to Will.
You guys hear about this band called the Chicks?
The Dixie Chicks?
They changed their name due to the connotation that the word dixie has were they the original canceled music artist they didn't get out for all for their
george bush comments yeah like they were kicked off of country radio like in a lot of like major
markets because they i just it's funny it's fun not funny to have it it's just like people forget about that
and then i'm glad they're back sorry will they'll tell they'll give you a piece of your mind if you
want it believe they said we're embarrassed to be from texas because w that was the which grand
scheme not really that controversial yeah, shit's changed since then.
Well, they headlined ACL this weekend, and I went to it.
Had an absolute blast.
They can put on a show.
They got talent.
How big is the band?
I know they've got the three main ladies.
Yep, and then they got Natalie Main's dad out there.
Even her son was playing a little guitar for them.
One of them was married to Charlie Robinson, right?
One of the...
No idea.
But they were incredible.
I also saw a bit of Billy Strings, which was great, before.
And yeah, had a good time.
Even got to go see our good friends at the Tito's tent.
Got a nice little DM before that and got hooked up with a bracelet.
And I went and had one single cocktail with Barrett Dud dudley was that was the dm from max no okay we sent max an invite to our little
office party and a bounce back i need his actual email address wow wow he's just not trying to go
hey send a raven hey if you're listening max send a raven to me uh dylan at wash media.com and let
me know what let me let me get your shit yeah and if
you're not max don't email that with something stupid at all yeah don't send a picture of your
grundle or something it's gonna be very easy for me to just delete emails that i don't want
so it's fine don't request that the forums are brought back definitely do not on saturday i did
this thing so like i don't like to have heavy foods more than once a week.
So I've been trying to employ this thing called the cue card.
And it's for barbecue.
And I can only have it once a week.
And I had it on Saturday when Brittany.
You familiar with her?
Hey.
Married to her.
Yeah, she ordered some barbecue for the squad to eat while
watching texas just absolutely beat down ou it's mea culpa time on on rudy's barbecue for your boy
that was really good barbecue always has hey i've always has i know it's been a punchline
on this pod and i think it's mainly me making fun of it that was good barbecue when it comes
to a brisket when it comes to unexpected brisket on a Saturday afternoon,
sometimes the best ability is availability.
And that's what we had the other day.
Didn't have to wait 45 minutes to four hours.
No one took down more cream corn than me.
I'm the cream corn king of Austin, Texas.
You are.
Everyone was saying that.
It's crazy, man.
I was just slurping that stuff.
Don't say that.
You drank it right out of the styrofoam.
I drink your cream corn. I drink it up. No one likes their corn creamier than Will. crazy man i was just slurping that stuff don't say you drank it right out of the styrofoam i drink
your cream corn i drink it up no one likes their corn creamier than will extra creamy
cream it up creamy creamy for the boys i cream it up we understand they're calling me creamy
creamy willy why it doesn't even because i love it disgusting give me that corn uh yeah and outside of that this
weekend all i did all i did this weekend was just watch just stranger things season four
you guys seen this show yeah it's about 18 hours worth of content but it was i wish i had waited
i'm further into the season than i anticipated being when i checked last night and i'm a little bummed that i only have three episodes left but then i realized that uh that's about still
about six hours worth of content so i'm gonna be just fine are you guys not on dommer at all
no i don't care it's it's good it feels a little weird i understand why people i understand why
people are so into like serial killer stuff it's just not for me it's good are they are they trying to hot him
up a little bit honestly no i mean there are some there are some he's pretty like jacked in the
movie he's like he's like skinny ripped really it's a nc-17 and there's some like weightlifting
scenes oh yeah like i don't know it's not it isn't it's not like he's not a hot dude at all
in the show all right right, Dommer.
Jeffrey Dommer goes in for a kiss with you.
How fast you turn it away.
You're considering it for a second?
Do I know he's Jeffrey Dommer?
Or is he just some dude at a bar? You just met him at a bar.
I'm probably like, man, you're not my type.
I like him a little.
I don't like how it's making people like,
I don't like how you're normalizing Dommer.
You've been walking around the office calling him J-Doms.
J-Dom, yeah.
I'm like, dude, come on.
That dude's a serial killer.
He was eating people.
He was a predator.
Pretty twisted, dude.
I eat it up.
He's pretty twisted.
Yeah.
I eat your caucus.
He's freaking twisted, dude.
He was like hooking up with the dead bodies
in his time.
He was?
Yeah.
Necrophiliac?
Yeah, a little.
A tinge of it.
What's your problem, dude?
He dabbled.
Dude, that's freaking twisted.
That's what I'm saying.
You can't be doing that.
That's gross.
What is his problem?
I'll just say, this guy's a real jerk.
Yeah, that's just the beginning.
I think, I don't want to draw any conclusions, but I think he's got to screw loose.
He might.
He was famously murdered in prison.
I don't mean to spoil the show, but yeah, he dies a gruesome death in prison.
I did not know that.
Is that true?
You just spoiled the show, dude.
Sorry.
Study a history book, folks.
He didn't get the chair?
Are they talking about Dahmer in history books?
He got the toilet seat.
They just drowned his ass?
No, I think he got a
look it up oh they just beat him down they bashed his skull among other things it's not great i mean
it's you know arguably one of the worst uh prison deaths i've heard of really and you're and like
you're super into prison deaths i've got a prison death podcast check it. It's over at The Ringer. It's not. Prison Death.
Prison Death.
We're talking about Prison Death.
There's some shocking aspects to it that you don't have to share, but just.
Yeah, I won't share the.
It just says here on November 28th, 1994, Dahmer was beaten to death by Christopher Scarver, a fellow inmate in the Columbia Correctional Institute or institution in Portage, Wisconsin.
Beaten to death.
That's all it says.
Hey, Jeff.
Bye-bye.
Yeah, it's just when he got the chair.
Maybe he was on death row awaiting the chair when he got got.
Damn, he had a record deal?
I don't know.
Yeah.
He's about to drop bars down.
Yeah, Jeff's got sneaky bars they'll throw records dave yeah
that was the heyday snoop dog all those guys yeah yeah went off at the source awards
oh all time what's uh the big fella's name who owned it should night should night
noted scumbag troublesome noted scumbag and Troublesome character. Noted scumbag.
Hand somebody over.
What's that guy's deal?
In the vehicle.
Other things.
I'm not a fan.
You know, I'm not gonna,
I don't wanna say too much
because he does scare me.
Yeah, if he showed up to our HQ.
I'd definitely lose that fight.
Yeah.
Hey.
Earlier I talked about
a little place called washmedia.shop.
You guys hear about this place?
It's a place where you can pretty much shop like anything washmedia.
That's where I can get the fajita shirt, right?
Yeah, correct.
Cool.
Correct.
No one else is selling fajita varsity shirts.
Yeah, you don't see that.
And that's the beauty of what Shopify does.
Shopify allows you to sell so many different things just to make your business move, to plow forward, to become a
bigger thing than what you ever expected. Shopify makes it simple to sell to anyone from anywhere.
Shopify is just great. It's an all one commerce platform to start, run, and grow your business.
And I'll say this, if we can work it, that means you guys can too. Whether your thing is vintage
teas or recipes from ghee.
Familiar with ghee, David?
Yes.
It's a butter substitute.
You can start selling with Shopify and join the platform.
Simplifying commerce for millions of your favorite businesses worldwide.
I bet you guys don't even realize how many sites are run by Shopify when you're on there.
It's a mind-blowing amount.
I would assume so.
It's very user-friendly.
With Shopify, you'll create an online store. In your vibe, you can discover new customers and grow the following that keeps them
coming back. Shopify has all the sales channels sorted, so your business keeps growing from an
in-person POS system to an all-in-one e-commerce platform, even across social media platforms like
TikTok, Facebook, and Instagram. And best of all, they got 24-7 support and free libraries
full of educational content. And Shopify has got you every step of the way like i said it's so easy i have no web design
i never have been taught web design in any shape or form and i was able to go in there modify
everything and just make it look very on brand for us i love it your boy i was some would say i'm not
exactly tech savvy you I use Shopify daily.
I like getting in there and just tinkering around.
They've been calling me Tinkerbell.
Who's they?
The people at Shopify, they just know about you.
You must be Tinkerbell. They're throwing you around the slide.
You're the guy always tinkering.
We've seen a lot of activity in the back end of this website.
Like, yo, Tinkerbell's at it again.
That's so stupid.
Tinkerbell's out here just cooking.
That is so stupid.
Hold up, dude.
Watch.
Let that boy eat.
When you're ready to launch your thing into the spotlight do it with shopify the commerce platform backing millions
of businesses down the street to around the globe go on try shopify for free and start selling
anywhere sign up for a free trial at shopify.com circling all lowercase just go to shopify.com
circling to start selling online today again shopify.com slash circling to start selling online today. Again, shopify.com slash circling.
Last week, we had a very, very enticing episode.
And in that episode, we talked about a bunch of hyper niche sports controversies.
And unfortunately, it was one of those days where the perfect story drops right after
it was time to record.
Of course, I'm talking about the irish dancing
that has been rocked by major allegations of competition fixing involving dance teachers
and judges why there's so many cheating scandals in uh sports and sports adjacent activities
our pillars of society what's going on over there before our eyes nothing is sacred anymore
i think that some people started seeing what was happening in chess and suddenly they were like of society what's going on over there before our eyes nothing is sacred anymore it's a controversy
i think that some people started seeing what was happening in chess and suddenly they were like
all right we got to start we got to start either manufacturing some of these like controversies
or we just need to simply uh you know expose the ones that are already existing can i ask you a
question well i think you're kind of an expert on this story. Does this involve anal beads in any capacity?
You know, it's hard to say.
Definitively speaking, you can never actually say whether or not anal beads are involved until an investigation is completed.
Ten-year investigation, some say.
I don't think there are any in this one.
This says the prestigious global body that governs irish
dancing has been rocked by allegations of competition fixing and cheating uh it's the clrg
they're dealing with the largest ever alleged cheating scandal which has seen some of the most
successful and well-regarded irish dance teachers in schools accused of fixing competitions for
their own students let me ask you another question is michael flatley in this at all hard to say he
caught up in this mess i don't know that uh michael flatley is pretty much the extent of my um
irish dancing see a river dance king he was the river dance guy yeah
why don't you show us a little taste of some river dancing for those who don't know
all right you want to see it yeah
dave's so good that you his legs are actually moving right now but you can't see it on camera
because his upper body is so so stiff it made me uncomfortable the first part of what you just did
you asked motherfucker they have screenshots from 12 irish dance teachers either asking for
offering to fix competitions 12 different so they've got the they got the receipts yeah oh no
if you if you if these receipts get made public and you see that your teacher wasn't vying for
you are you kind of like what's your problem you weren't trying to fix this competition for your
boy which u.s game show prime time could be competition would you most like to see a scandal
like this drop you can it can be the
mask singer which i think would have singer is the worst show i've ever seen oh that would make
it really funny if like uh i don't know who's on that show all those that robin thick the voice
and mass singer all that shit i'm i'm so over those dumb ass shows what if like blake shelton's
like he's slipping uh somebody at 20 to get like the the right singer i don't think blake Shelton's like, he's slipping somebody at 20 to get the right singer?
I don't think Blake Shelton's like...
I feel like he probably is doing that.
I could see Blake Shelton being on the set of The Voice and a really good singer comes by.
He just stops production.
He's like, no, I'm actually taking them.
You can't have them.
I've been here longer.
Sorry, Alicia Keys.
I mean, he ditched his wife for Gwen Stefani
peace
that's facts
who was he married to before
Miranda Lambert
oh yeah that's right
those are two very talented
artists
I will say
Blake Shelton
is not as talented
as Alicia Keys
not many are
not many are
that's Dave's hot take
of the week she's married to swiss beats facts
i think she can really his wife or she can really tickle the ivory some people hey there's there's a
lot of people out there dave who alicia keys is risk it all territory don't wait big big facts i'm not gonna risk it all for a lot of people out there iave who alicia keys is risk it all territory big big facts i'm
not gonna risk it all for a lot of people out there i'm gonna be like you know what i'm kind
of gonna get i would like to see an america's got talent scandal where you know you got a guy
up there and he's like juggling fire pins and like give me deal or no deal is that wayne brady
no i don't remember who hosted that but like if like that was the one
that megan markle was on i would like to know if they it's like there were just people who
just knew exactly what was going on who wants to be a millionaire that one probably had some
wants to be a millionaire that's how he's jaybo doesn't host it yeah i don't know what that is
that your regis philbin does my regis that was not a very good Regis. Hoo-ah!
He wants to be a millionaire.
Kathy Lee, I love you, babe.
That's my Regis. That's terrible.
I don't know why, but Dave's is better,
even though it might be less accurate.
It sucks, but it's better.
It's different.
I don't want to say that,
but Dave's might be better.
Get out of here, dude.
I'll say this.
If The Wall,
which is executive produced by LeBron James,
if The Wall had some kind of scandal,
where they were rigging which way the little balls bounce in there.
I would be very, very interested in it.
Season one was a banger.
Haven't watched since.
Me and hashtag Chad would watch and just text.
Probably the lowest time in my life.
Never watch it.
Don't care to.
Have you guys ever been involved in a cheating scandal?
I once had a coach try to use me to cheat.
What happened?
My score was used in a golf tournament
when my score should not have been used.
Were you playing with an illegal club?
You weren't allowed to play with a Nike Sasquatch?
I was told that I was not going to be a part of the team that day
because I skipped practice a couple days before.
Bad boy shit.
What did you skip to go do? Smoke cigs?
It was the day that we were supposed to pick the range.
And so I faked that I couldn't get a ride to practice.
And I went home and played FIFA.
You said you stubbed your toe like the turkey trot.
You went home to play FIFA?
Yeah.
What?
All right, keep going.
I was a freshman in high school.
Keep going about this shit.
I was a scumbag.
And I was told I wasn't going to be used that day.
And they sent me out with a group from some other schools.
And when I came in and I handed in my scorecard for my nine holes,
I weirdly saw it on the scoreboard later.
And I was like, well, I thought I was not in this competition today.
But because I have the second lowest score of all these guys,
I shot a 42 that day.
Whoa.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was a little sus.
Bad boy alert.
That was the start of me and the coach not getting along.
You guys familiar with that?
Is that why you didn't go D1?
Yeah.
I didn't have D1 in me.
There weren't really any big sports cheating scandals in high school.
There was a, this is a tale I've told on, on maybe this podcast,
but before a district showdown, an important game,
I believe it was against the Grand Prairie Gophers,
home of Selena Gomez.
Some of the coaches got together,
tagged up the field house with like spray paint and like the worst cutdowns you've ever seen like
you stink don't give those sucks they created their own like bulletin board material they
created their own it was a false flag i like that and it came out like later on
that it was the coaches and we're like oh they did win the game bad look is there really bad
is there any truth to the allegations of texas high school students
when they bleach their hair for the playoffs that they're trying to cover up taking steroids
or is that just is that just something people say i've never heard that i think that originated in
south lake home of quineers i didn't yeah i know that like it was rumored at westlake at one point
but what does that do to cover it up like because you can't take a hair sample because it's been
bleached oh you know something about that, don't you?
Yeah.
No.
Actually, Dylan famously doesn't.
Never bleached anything on me before.
You could have, on the company dime, you could have gotten that wonderful procedure done
and you didn't.
Were you just trying to save the company money?
Yeah.
Actually, it was more so I didn't want to bend over on all fours in front of a complete
stranger.
I don't think you do that.
I think you do.
Would you rather do it in front of one of your boys they put your feet behind your your ears
and then yeah because that's more comfortable well can you imagine i don't want i don't want
anyone back there no one no even bang no one even a doctor okay if a doctor even even when a doctor
does this thing back there i'm not, I'm not on all four.
I respect the medical community, but I don't even want them back there, even when they're supposed to be back there.
You've got a few years.
Dylan, you're 40.
That's for health.
You're a man.
That's a health guy.
Yeah, you are 40.
I'm not 40.
I'm 38, actually.
You're on the precipice.
I'm 38.
You're knocking.
What age do you get a digit?
I believe it's 40 is the number, I think.
But I've already had one, so I know what it's like.
Check your family history.
See, I think I'm okay right now.
I think I can safely wait to 40.
I feel like I've had like two.
That was another thing.
They're not fun.
No, especially when the nurse says,
okay, I'm going gonna mash on your prostate
oh can i you're not breaking the ice here can i bring a break in my scented candles and put
that down and be like hey do you mind let's just set the mood yeah i just need a little help here
i wear like a silk robe instead of the schmock that they give you the schmock so defeated
the schmock is just it makes you feel like a little
kid when your butt's just hanging it makes me like a cartoon character like i'm on ren and
stimpy or i cover up the butt you may not need to see the booty when i had that done before i was
like the doctor i was like listen i have a tattoo back there just they don't care dude they've seen
worse i i know but i wanted to i feel like i need to
explain myself hey want to warn you there's one tattoo only one because the other one that i lost
or i had to get because i lost odds to will i'm not gonna give yeah just heads up yeah yeah like
that was ever gonna happen yeah you have to tell your doctor hey it's kind of a weird scene back
there like i have one tattoo instead of two and it's an absolute disaster on my b-hole because
I refuse to get it bleached.
Do you overly groom before you get that procedure done?
No.
Why?
Like trim your ball?
What do you mean?
Well, just everywhere.
Like just really make sure you're like.
And I shower.
Bella figura.
I clean myself.
Yeah.
Let's just talk.
Let's talk Grundle real quick.
Like what's the sitch?
Ooh, Grundle talk with the boys.
New segment.
There's a lot of different names for that.
We were talking about Irish dancing five minutes ago.
Irish we still were.
Yeah, this took a gross turn.
There we go.
There's the audience.
They've been quiet up until now.
Finally, they got them.
I really like having a full studio audience in here.
Anyway, tell us about it
honestly this is i think the irish dancing instructors fall into the same camp for me as the uh the people who got their kids into usc it's not getting you anywhere like this isn't this is just wasted time and money
that i need to like read the book on that that usc story because it was so some of it was so
egregious that i feel like it's not talked about enough what what if like if if netflix comes out
with a documentary about that you know it's gonna be fire i'm in you gotta watch it stream room is
there any streaming service that like when they come out with a documentary on something it's like
man wish uh wish someone else came out with this documentary instead of this why like a prince
andrew prince andrew documentary came out on peacock the other day and i was like man this
this would hit way harder if it's just anything but peacock it's corporate media you're not getting
the real yeah like i don't want peacockock. They watched that Prince Albert one. In a can.
In a can?
Never mind.
You watched it in the toilet?
Like Jeffrey Dahmer?
Did they do some jail time for the USC scandal?
Somebody did, right?
Yeah, I think Aunt Becky's husband did.
Aunt Becky.
But I don't know if she did any.
Isn't it wild that that resulted in like jail time?
Kind of.
Yeah, like.
No, it's not.
I mean, you are.
They should go to jail.
I'm going to say.
Hey.
Should they?
Yes.
I'm on my soapbox. I think maybe pay like a significant fine and, you know, all that stuff.
But like, do you need to go behind bars because you, you know, grease the wheels a little bit?
Why isn't house arrest okay for this? Yeah. Why do they need to go behind bars because you you know grease the wheels why isn't house arrest
okay for this yeah why do they need to go behind bars i guess they're criminals so i'm a law and
order guy do it like i feel like house arrests could be just you know no it's just it's just
that it's it's very very wealthy people getting away with something because they have the means
to get like the best, the best representation.
I'm not saying it's okay what they did.
No, but they didn't get away with it because he's doing time. I'm generally like less people going to prison equals good for me.
But it's just, I don't know.
I think someone did do time, but I don't think it was Aunt Becky.
I think it was her husband.
Her husband.
The Mossimo guy.
Yeah.
I was always a Stussy guy myself.
The Yaga guy definitely did some time.
Yeah.
It was tough.
And the guy, the Umbros guy.
The Big Johnson guy, he's free and clear, though.
He's just doing his thing.
He's got a cigarette boat, smokes cigs.
If my parents wasted their money on, like, that much money trying to get me into USC,
I'd be like, I mean, just let me start a business with this
investment um here here i got a dumb question does it matter if it's like a public versus a
private university that they try to bribe it's a good question i feel like yeah private one be like
that was probably part of it whatever isn't that's kind of what private universities feel
like they're just kind of based on bribes anyway. Bribing a state official in some capacity.
I guess.
That's very, very keen observation.
It's brain day.
It'll surprise you.
Why is that?
It'll do some things.
It's kind of firing right now.
What's going on here?
Dude, your brain's doing big stuff.
Yeah.
You're having a good brain day.
Yeah, thank you, man.
No, I do want to watch a documentary on that.
Or maybe listen to an hour podcast.
Hour and a half tops.
I don't really want to read a book.
Okay.
That's fine.
I'm just putting it out there.
If anybody's on the cusp of doing this doc.
I need some book recommendations.
I've been reading more lately.
Not about like...
I'm trying to get on that fiction grind.
Really?
Yeah.
I'm trying to take myself into a different world.
You should read the Game of Thrones series.
Yeah.
Honestly, I've always thought the books were better than the series.
It'll take you like 20 years to get all that.
Like, is he ever going to finish them though?
I don't know, man.
Wait.
Does he have any involvement in House of Dragons? I don't know does he have any involvement in house of dragons i don't think so any kind of direction provided or anything i don't think he does either i said it like i know
i don't really know but i don't we don't that's the entire podcast yeah you can't look it up you
guys been enjoying it yeah it's good man i thought it's only okay i like the original series but a
lot of incest a lot of incest.
A lot of incest, it turns out.
That's kind of how it goes, though.
Much more than Game of Thrones that I recall.
Just cousins boning cousins?
Sisters and brothers boning? Everyone's hooking up, man.
If you can walk, you're hooking up.
The former senior Staples executive, John Wilson,
was sentenced to 15 months in federal prison
for paying $220,000 to ensure his son's admission into UT as an alleged water polo recruit.
That was the weird wrinkle.
That they were faking, like, they were creating profiles, like, the kids played, like, certain sports and stuff.
I don't even know how that factored in, but.
Water polo.
Probably easier to hide the money or something.
I don't know.
I've always said follow the money ut what's ut usc you said ut i actually oh no it was usc okay pull the tape
that surprised me too no yeah i got bad news for you david what you said ut it's okay it's okay
man we all make mistakes man. The only reason I know
is because I was like,
huh, I didn't know
UT was a part of it.
I'm actually surprised
UT wasn't a part of it.
They probably were.
Maybe you're talking about
their name.
Yeah, they just knew
how to cover it up.
The real UT
or UT Austin?
Oh.
That's right.
You say it like it's offensive.
It's not.
Falls, baby.
Oh, I know how you get.
People just say Texas, actually.
People just say Texas, actually.
They do. actually wins one game
you guys gonna be ranked or he's good texas is ranked oh they are 22nd in the ap
i think it's ap might be the coaches i'm not sure if i agree with 22 okay what do you what
what's more suitable did they do a did they do a tweet that said i don't know about you but i'm
feeling 22 after that came out no but you should send that to the MNM and see what they do.
Hey, if you're the college football Twitter account maestro, please let me know.
What do you guys do when you wake up in the morning?
I can tell you one thing you probably don't do.
Probably check your credit score. No, I'm not usually first thing. And guess what, Chime?
That's exactly what they do.
They get up and grind.
With their secured Chime credit builder Visa credit card,
you can start to build with your own money, baby.
Chime reports your payments to credit bureaus
to help you build credit over time,
and their members can see an increase of 30 points on average.
And all of this comes with no annual fees,
large security deposits, or credit checks to apply.
Do you guys even know what your credit score is right now?
I bet mine's higher.
Okay, you don't have to flex.
I do.
Mine's pretty good, although it recently dropped for literally no reason.
Mine's sufficient.
I don't discuss it publicly, generally speaking, but yeah.
I like the word sufficient for that, Dave.
What if I could tell you that you could get it raised by about 30 points on average? I'm listening. Yeah, you should be.
Start your credit journey with Chime. Sign up takes only two minutes and doesn't affect your
credit score. Get started at Chime.com slash steam. That's Chime.com slash steam. The Chime
Credit Builder Visa credit card is issued by Stride Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from
Visa USA Chime banking account and $200 qualifying direct deposit
required to apply
for the secured Chime Credit Builder
Visa credit card.
Regular on-time payment history
can have a positive impact
on your credit score.
Impact to score may vary,
and some users' scores may not improve.
Out-of-network ATM withdrawal fees
may apply except at MoneyPass ATMs in a 7-Eleven or any all-point or Visa Plus Alliance ATM.
Shout out 7-Eleven.
See these Slurpees that people be drinking?
I haven't had a Slurpee in a while.
What's your ideal Slurpee?
I took the kids for free Slurpees on July 11th.
That's a true story.
Okay, here's the question that everyone's wondering.
Here's the question that everyone has.
Do they let you fill up anything on 7-Eleven?
That's what I've always heard, but we just got regular ones.
Is there somebody that goes in there with a big old jug
and just takes advantage of it and ruins it?
Like a toy red wagon and just fills it up? it's like whenever gas prices get above like three dollars somebody pulls their
truck up and they just start filling up like two gallon containers i don't know if they actually
do that or not they allow you to just fill whatever that seems like it wouldn't make much
sense i like the coca-cola flavor i do too it goes really good and it's sometimes fun to toss
a little cherry in to toss a little cherry
in there get a little cherry so you're doing a partial suey yeah i usually go full we had some
local news bustle up this uh past weekend i guess last week oh you know we like high school golf and
you know some of us like the other thing in this story this is the most high school golf we've talked on a pod ever headline says things went off course monday when vista ridge
high school golfers spotted dancers from the yellow rose strip club hitting balls in their
skivvies at avery ranch golf club the the Leander Independent School District said. This is a
quote. Unfortunately, our golfers did witness
some lewd behavior, the district said. The coach immediately
canceled practice and had all players contact their
parents to come pick them up.
The adult entertainment club
that says it bills itself as a gentleman's
club had been holding its boozy
annual tournament and awards ceremony from
noon to 5 p.m. Is Yellow Rose the one
down the street?
Oh, that's on South Congress. I've only been to one strip club in Austin.
It was the Yellow Rose, and I don't know where it is.
I think it's by the barbecue.
What's the barbecue joint up there?
Okay, so there was one right by St. Ed's is where I graduated from.
That was Yellow Rose.
I think it may have changed names since, though, since we went a long time ago during our time at Grand X.
Somebody we worked with lived right next door to it really like there's apartments do you come up the one on is either
south congress or south lamar no south yeah south congress yeah there's an apartment complex right
across the street oh yeah you're right it might have been rob i can't remember somebody lived
right there and it was like oh well their golf outing sounds fun it says they have a
complimentary bloody mary bar a swag bag and plenty of drinks according to a flyer and per photos
there's a lot of scantily clad things happening they also have uh people bonging beers out of
fake drivers you like bonging beers dylan uh once upon a time sure that was that was fun i've been
bonged a beer in a minute i much prefer bonging a beer to shotgun Once upon a time, sure. That was fun. I haven't bonged a beer in a minute.
I much prefer bonging a beer to shotgunning a beer.
I saw people, there were some people bonging beers at ACL, which was aggressive to me.
That's sick.
They thought, you know, let's bring a beer bong in here.
Did you find that keg that I buried a few weeks ago?
I did.
I finished it.
You did?
Mm-hmm.
It took me so, it's a big haul.
It took me so long to bury that.
I'll say this. I was pretty drunk. Okay. I would think so. It's a big hole. It took me so long to bury that. I'll say this.
I was pretty drunk.
Okay.
I would think so.
It's a lot of beer.
I was pretty drunk after that.
Yeah.
Woo!
Three sheets to the wind, baby.
Right.
I mean, which one of these narcs told the coach about this golf tournament that's happening?
Oh, hey, coach.
Hey.
We can't concentrate because there are scantily clad women on the fairway.
Yeah, Coach.
That's my narc voice.
Coach, there's too many babes on this golf course.
Shut up.
Too attractive.
Hey, Coach.
That's my voice cracking.
We can just have Randy do it.
Did y'all's voices ever crack when you went through puberty?
Randy still cracks every other day. But he's conceivably been through puberty
we think or has he i don't know yeah my voice cracked a couple times randy's got a lot of
he's got some chest hair yeah yeah randy's got enough hair on his body that i think we can
you know likely deduce that he has gone through puberty he's also well into his twenties. So there's that going for him.
Oh yeah.
So to continue with our tradition of talking high school golf,
I have a strip club story from high school golf.
We played a tournament.
It was a course.
It's not there anymore in Fort Worth,
Arlington area,
Zeebo's.
And there was a strip club right next to it.
And we're pretty sure our coach,
after we teed off,
pretty much spent the next four hours there
during the tournament yeah i mean because what else he's not gonna this is like a jv tournament
it's not like he really he didn't care he definitely didn't care about me he didn't
care about the other guys so he just disappeared for a little bit like huh did he come back with
glitter on him and he just kind of smelled like uh bath and body works lotion
yeah he has some glitter on his crotch coach where you been of course sucked by the way sucked
sucked what's with these dorks man i just like what do you what's your problem like if you're
in high school this should be the greatest thing that's ever happened to you this the ridge north austin
i don't know leander not familiar with these courses and leander school so yeah northeast-ish
north northwest every ranch is every ranch is north northwest northwest yeah i feel like the
yellow rose is getting painted in a negative light here and all they were doing was having
their just absolutely normal golf out.
Charity tournament.
Yeah.
Like,
well,
they know it's,
they're not,
well,
these babes popping top out there.
I don't think they were per the article.
It didn't seem like it.
And per the photos,
it seemed like they were still respectfully dressed.
There's a lot of parental pearl clutching going on here.
What's the problem?
This is,
this is,
if I had to assess blame in this situation to anybody,
I would say the blame goes on the course for scheduling a strip club golf out in the same time as they knew that the high school is going to be out there practicing.
As long as there was no butt checking going on.
We don't know.
Because that's not safe.
We don't know.
How do you know?
We did the research.
It's not meant to go that way.
Were any of these kids hyper decanting?
That's a great question, Will.
Maybe they were human decanting. Human decanting, you mean?
They could have been human.
They're both things that exist.
Fair enough.
What's the most raucous golf tournament you've ever played in,
like charity, scramble type deal?
It's the annual CRC tournament that I play in most years.
I haven't done it the past couple actually.
It's just nothing crazy happens.
It's just a lot of alcohol involved.
Yeah.
I feel like I don't get invited to enough charity golf tournaments.
Like that's something I would entertain and love to do.
It also is just a foolproof excuse to get out of doing whatever I'm doing
because it's for charity
you love to give back we got invited to one uh next weekend i did that you can go to
is that an invite it's an invite like pass this along to wherever you want kind of thing no like
i i i want to get a team together if you want to play 22nd maybe 8 a.m 8 a.m morning of our party um yeah like charity golf tournaments
are great of course they are and they're for charity giving back let's get a squad together
yeah but i actually want to win i'll be team captain i'm trying to win though i'm not gonna
win we're never gonna win let's accept that why that. Why? You ever won a scramble before?
We could have the perfect day, and someone will beat us by two strokes.
Someone will turn in like a 57.
You're like, okay.
And you look over at them.
You're like, yeah, I'm sure.
We went 17 under in a scramble for Drew and Lily's wedding,
and when someone else came in with a 17 under scorecard,
I was going to kill them.
That's such a bad feeling.
I was so mad.
When you think you're in the hunt, you're like, well, we at least got – we at least placed.
We won something.
Well, the other team – another team came in and, like, they were low at, like, 14-under.
We're like, oh, we're good.
Like, all these teams are coming in real high.
It's these, like, super casual, like, tournaments like this that are scramble.
And it's, like, everyone just goes out there for fun.
And then there's, like, a couple teams who take it very seriously and they just get ringers together.
There's guys –
Guys, come on.
They go to charity tournament to charity tournament.
Yeah.
They just –
They come home with these bags they went for first place.
It's like stop.
Let other people have a chance.
You know?
Jerks.
Who are you trying to impress?
I didn't have any ringers.
The hole just looked big that day.
I was just draining every putt I hit.
Do you want to try to get Bill Simmons for this event?
No.
I think charities should fund their own fucking...
That's not how it works, Bill.
Let's get Drew out there.
That's not how it works.
Okay.
Last time I played it, last time I had Drew on a team with me,
you know, being that he's a plus 1.7,
I thought he was going to be like the ringer for me.
He absolutely bricked it.
He just fucked around.
He bricked it for me. He likes to keep his own score. He doesn't like scramble formats. I was like, dude, I invited you was going to be like the ringer for me he absolutely bricked it he just fucked around he bricked it he likes to keep his own score he didn't like scramble i was like dude
well i i invited you out here to be my guy and he just he played terribly let's give him a little
might have been the worst i've ever seen him play on that course probably the only time i've ever
seen him shoot above 68 he's crazy that's embarrassing i'm having a crisis guys can i talk it out with you guys
real quick segment yeah uh i don't know if you guys have been noticing lately i know dylan has
made numerous comments about it but i've been doing something as of late not with any real
intent but just trying to see how it all pans out famously i've been growing my mustache out
it's looking real chonky and thick right now
it's a thick boy right now where's this going this might be a question for dave how the fuck
do you trim a mustache david great question um i bet your hairdresser will do it i don't want it
in someone else's control because if somebody if someone else does it and they don't do it in a way that i like it i'm going to resent them it
looks like you trimmed it i did trim it but it's not no it's not it's not there yet dog you got to
be careful when you're trying because you don't want like the hairs to like get in your mouth and
like touch the bottom lip but when you're trimming it above your upper lip you don't want to go too
high because then it just looks overly manicured and then you got to wait, you know, four days for it to grow back out. What I do,
and there's probably a better way to do this. I just get those Alyssa's little, uh, I call them
beauty scissors. They're just tiny scissors. Right. Hold me closer. And I just, uh, I just
kind of pull the hair out and just trim the it do the little edges and then
i get my little uh electric razor and i uh clean up around it huh it's there's a better way to do
it i'm sure but i just feel like in this time when everyone's just watching top gun maverick
and growing mustaches i feel like i need a i need a lesson in trimming this thing
i'm doing this in preparation just in case something comes up around Halloween that commands a mustache.
I haven't trimmed mine in two weeks for that reason.
I want to just have the option.
Well, maybe this will help.
Imagine each follicle is a tiny little wick.
It's just begging to get trimmed.
Let's play a little game with yourself.
Thank you.
You're going to be a great dad, Dave.
The way that you just applied that real world situation to a passion of mine, it's just
beautiful.
Yeah.
I know you're passionate about candles.
It just stresses me out, man.
I had it coming over the lip and it was just bugging me.
But then I was having paralysis by analysis of how I was going to trim this thing down.
And suddenly I'm left now with like halfway between
a normal mustache and a western mustache and i'm trying to just grow this bitch out yeah you look
tight you look like you're about to pour me up a drink at the saloon however you did it you did a
good job stiff do you want it like ultra stiff you did a good job i'm i am i too am growing mine
out in preparation for the halloween do you have a halloween costume that you're actually growing
it out for or are you just just doing it just in case?
No, just in case.
I would love some inspiration.
I can't think of a costume.
I'm bad at that.
You should go as like a sexy cowboy.
Ooh.
Like one that might maybe stop into the dick saloon for a...
It can just be sexy.
For a shot and a cigarette.
Yeah, hand rolled.
Of course. Yeah, we're rolling them back there my hand right
yeah you can't go as top gun this year nobody can right like that's that's it's too easy it's just
too easy yeah it's a layup like if you're going as top gun you have to have one more costume in
the hopper to to show that you can actually make this happen.
Parks is going as a zombie.
And I'm really excited to help him get dressed for it.
Zombie.
But he really is.
We didn't even, like I intentionally didn't move.
I intentionally said nothing.
I intentionally didn't do anything.
We gave him dead air to fill.
In your head.
I don't even know if Parks is going as a zombie.
Zombie.
No, he really is, though.
Like Walking Dead zombie?
Or what kind of zombie are we talking about?
He's never actually watched.
He's never actually watched a bowl of cranberries.
He's never watched that program.
Where's Parks?
We gotta go, Parks.
There's walkers out there.
He's going to be one of the walkers.
Randy.
I got him this.
Pretty good.
Not bad.
This little face, little eyepiece thing at the store.
It looks like his eyes falling out of his head.
And it's going to be tight.
Oh.
It's going to be tight.
Makeup.
Makeup.
It's going to be cool.
Makeup.
So over his head.
Yeah.
I know that song.
Oh, Chop Suey? I don't know the name of it who sings it i just know this the really bad song he's referring to system of a down what were you talking about
before that oh dylan's costume yeah dylan's mid-ass mustache no yours is coming in pretty
good what i just complimented yours what are doing? Y'all just have different styles.
I think, you know, it's funny.
I think I'm in between y'alls.
Like, you have the thin one.
He's got the bushy big boy.
I don't have a thin one.
It looks more thin than mine.
I could be wrong.
Yours is like three weeks more grown out than mine is.
I can grow a pretty good mustache.
Dylan has like a good pirate mustache.
That's a compliment.
Ooh, you should do like a Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean thing.
No.
Why?
You don't like pirates?
Like a Johnny Depp.
Cancel culture.
Dude, who invented cancel culture?
Kanye asked that question this weekend. He asked a lot of questions over the weekend none of which i feel like unpackaging yeah what's this guy's
problem you know i don't know but um
yeesh. So we're not doing Kanye headlines.
Should we throw these away?
Yeah.
It's too late.
Yeah.
Yep.
Do you guys ever stand in your kitchen?
You have some people around.
Maybe you're having a little dinner party.
People are looking at your covers
and they're like, holy crap.
Wow.
They don't say that to you,
do they?
Nope.
That's because you need to go to cabinets to go.com and request a free
custom 3d design and quote for a kitchen makeover.
That was the whole lot.
Or that was a whole lot less than you think.
That's crazy tech.
I mean,
just go make this happen.
Like I want to give a shout out to just cabinets in general.
Dude,
underrated thing
dude they just like you put stuff in them and they block out the haters
so is that what you're using for yeah because if i didn't have any cabinets people would be like
why do you have stuff everywhere and i'd be like why are you judging my domicile what's your problem
at some point in humanity they were like we need to put this stuff in something what about cab what
if we do cabinets?
They say home is where the heart is, but I say the kitchen is the heart of the home.
And that's according to real estate experts.
So upgrade your kitchen.
It's one of the best ways you can upgrade your kitchen is just by getting new cabinets.
As seen on HGTV's Dreamhouse.
Dylan, you're a big Dreamhouse guy.
You love it.
I do love it.
Cabinets2go.com is your one-stop renovation destination.
They have everything you need from design to installation with 200,000 cabinets available
and ready to ship.
Your wow kitchen can be complete in weeks and not months.
If you go look at the before and after photos of all these, you're just going to be amazed.
You're going to like the way that they look.
Talking about those cabinets, obviously.
Visit cabinets2go.com today and see why no one beats their prices and their transferable limited lifetime warranty i'm a cabinet boy there you go
that's the that's the good stuff right now get a full custom 3d design of your new kitchen at
cabinets to go.com circling that's free custom 3d design of your new wow kitchen at cabinetstogo.com slash circling. Speaking of kitchens, Dave.
Hey.
Talk to me.
That ad read was tough for me as someone who once pronounced the word cupboard,
cupboard to the entire class multiple times
and my teacher just let it happen
and didn't correct me till the end.
When I was reading from Indian in the Cupboard,
fourth grade, third grade grade third grade third board
that's okay it's just looking back it's like man that's just i should have known should have known
randy if you will speaking of kitchens and will like will said it is the heart what is it the
heartbeat of the house would you say you said kitchen is the heart of the home david everyone
knows that you guys do you guys put your okay your gas grill that's been converted
to a charcoal grill inside your kitchen yet this is completely unnecessary with with what looks to
be like a restaurant quality ventilation you have to have a serious ventilation system to pull this
off do you think that do you think that makes any noise that's industrial dude you think if you put
down if you put fritz down like you could fire up the grill in
the house?
Probably not.
Just our exhaust system over our stove alone is not very strong and it's still the loudest
thing of all time.
If we have music playing and you turn on that thing, you suddenly can't hear any of Taylor
Swift's folklore.
This is, this like destroys the value.
I mean, you have to completely redo the kitchen if you sell this place.
Well, maybe they should go to cabinets2go.com.
They should.
You know what you do?
Get their new wow kitchen right now.
You take the grill out and you put in like a hibachi or like a big griddle.
Something that makes a little more sense, not a grill.
Charcoals don't belong in the home.
Why don't you just get a flat top?
Dylan had one when he was a kid.
I did.
I want one of those so bad. Got a lot of. I did. I want one of those so bad.
Got a lot of babes, too.
I want one of those so bad.
You got zero.
Are you kidding?
I heard the hoes were scared.
Dude, the babes were lining up to touch my flat top.
Dude, Dylan, your haircut.
Oh, my God.
Dylan got that flatty on him.
No, he didn't.
Flat hair, flat ass.
Your ass ain't flat.
I've got some inside intel
on a backyard hibachi situation that might be transpiring over the next month or so
you guys want that inside intel yeah i don't know if you deserve it
i don't know if you deserve it whisper it to me
oh that is a banger wow that sounds awesome for sure i'll be there you will you i don't know if
you seem anti-backyard hibachi just you know i don't need a whole show i spent some time in
your backyard this past weekend i have to say it might be the premier backyard of our crew
you need to have a backyard hibachi it certainly lends itself to hibachi bay wants to have a
backyard dinner celebrates for my 40th
with all the squad but but hibachi's probably not going to be in play why well that ship sailed
didn't it what do you mean she said you're 40th right yeah i'm 38 currently so it's in the future
dude imagine imagine them on your second floor balcony just throwing onion
rings down to us into our mouths i'd rather just have it on a plate you want to have like some
boring ass caterer that like does plated dinners and shit when i could just have a dude in front
of me making volcanoes and stuff like what's your problem you're flinging shrimp at the guests yeah
new dylan's gonna have like a like tiny little uh plates little gourmet new New Dylan. Yeah, new Dylan.
Who's new Dylan?
Dylan.0 with his new friends.
He's going to be using like creme fraiche and shit to like top off some fucking appetizers.
Probably going to be some creme brulee or whatever.
I don't know, dude.
You probably fucking have some in your fridge right now.
I don't know what that means.
Come over to my shit.
We'll just have ice cream sandwiches.
Dude, that's what's up, Dave.
That's what I like about you.
In my garage.
You're just blue collar.
Just come on over to the garage.
Dylan,
I hope to get invited
to your 40th birthday celebration.
Why wouldn't you?
I don't know.
You will.
It's not hibachi?
It's less than 13 months away.
It'd be kind of funny
if Will didn't get invited.
You'll get invited.
I'm fucked up.
My birthday's in 13 days.
How are you going to sell me?
I have it on my calendar. I think I'm out of's in 13 days how y'all gonna sell me i have it on my calendar
i think i'm out of town 13 days let's get rudy's yeah dude the moist brisket at rudy's went hard
yeah turkey turkey's good yeah creamy willy was a big fan creamy willie new spooky season name just dropped
the creamsicle this kitchen stinks baby folks if you're gonna put a grill in your kitchen
make sure the ventilation system is up to par we don't want anybody dying
that's a thing here and there's appears to be up to par i think that just sounds like a like a
appears to be up to par i think that just sounds like a like a 747 taken off is just right under it you get you have to put on like a flight noise suppressors headphones that just
reminds me of uh cole campbell noise suppressors i don't know cole campbell once said that uh
i don't know how to say this he said it it's really dirty what he said go ahead go ahead
it's not raised the sound of good blank sounds like blank sounds like an F-16 taken off from an aircraft carrier.
What?
I was like, I don't know if that makes much sense, Cole.
Like the sonic boom when it breaks the sound barrier?
I don't know.
You're going to have to ask Cole.
This has made your boobs feel like bags of sand vibes.
Wait, sound of good what, Dylan?
I don't know.
That's a good question.
I guess you're kind of
filling your own blank there,
so to speak.
Yeah.
Filling a what?
Anyway.
And that's the episode.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.