Circling Back - Jack Hammer Is Washed
Episode Date: May 3, 2021Today the boys are joined by former coworker and current podcast producer, Dan Regester aka Jack Hammer. They discuss their all-time moments at their former employer, break down the PGA's Player Impac...t Program (PIP), and talk about the 21-ton Chinese rocket that's hurtling towards Earth with an unknown landing spot. They also hit on what's next for Dan in 2021. Contribute to our campaign to benefit the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society: pages.lls.org/mwoy/ctx/austin21/wmedia Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (27:20) What's up with Dan? (33:21) Player Impact Program aka Golf Clout Wars (45:17) Edward's Starbucks order (54:14) Chinese Rocket (1:10:11) All-time Grandex Moments (1:18:58) Brett's Breaking News Today's partners: Bison Coolers: Use promo code STEAM for 10% OFF your order at checkout at bisoncoolers.com Cuts: Get 15% OFF your first order by going to cutsclothing.com/steam Keeps: Go to keeps.com/steam to get your first month of treatment FREE Ballsy: Get 20% OFF your order with code washed20 at checkout at ballsybrand.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back this is the one circling back podcast presented by busy heart seltzer
the only heart seltzer with vitamin c and super fruit acerola dylan oh yeah i know that david
only took me three times to nail this intro.
I'm Dave.
Again, you just heard from Dylan.
Say hi to the folks.
Hi, folks.
We're not going to play the audio, but I got kind of intoxicated over the weekend,
and I just went off talking about the visit he had at a restaurant.
I sent you all the clip.
Yeah, I had a lot of questions about it.
Yeah.
I was standing up at a restaurant, a very popular restaurant here in Austin, Texas.
You can just say Matt's.
People probably know by now.
And I just went on and on about how much I like Vizzy.
There wasn't a microphone nearby.
It was just me talking about Vizzy, and someone recorded it.
That's how much he likes it.
Did you wait until she was recording to do it, or were you going off,
and she just pulled out the phone?
I didn't even know Bay was recording.
I just started talking about Vizzy, and the next thing I know. Good lady, huh? That's how much you liked it.
Stepping out on the town, huh?
Oh yeah. The other guy
you just heard, that's big game
Brett Merriman. New flavors
were ranked. Blackberry Lemon, number one.
And the Tangerine one, whatever
that is, number two. The other
two after that, I don't remember what they are.
Watermelon something? Watermelon Chigga. Bye, Dylan. whatever that is number two the other the other two after that i don't remember what they are watermelon something watermelon chica bye okay um before we intro our very special guest who's just
uh champing at the bit over there look at him just champing champing his little ass off
oh it's the unnecessary yawn i feel it's disrespectful to the boys i want to talk
about our partnership with the lls the leukemiaymphoma Society. We've all been affected by cancer in some way, shape, or form.
We're campaigning to raise money in the Man and Woman, or in our case, Team of the Year campaign.
LLS does more to advance science and support patients than any other cancer organization.
They're the largest nonprofit dedicated to creating a world without blood cancers.
Since 1949, they've invested nearly $1.3 billion in groundbreaking research,
pioneering many of today's most innovative approaches.
Hit our donate link in the description of this episode,
and you'll see it as well all over our social media.
Guys, special guest Jack Hammers in the building, Dan Regester, Danny Regs.
Hey, boys. Of podcast fame. First time, Dan Regester, Danny Rags. Hey, boys.
Of podcast fame.
First time, long time.
Quick question for you.
Did you write yes for Prop B?
I'll hang up and listen.
He's a sports caller asking about Prop B.
Another Team Big Arm guy in the building.
Not so much recently.
Dan's having some problems.
I'm falling apart right now.
Dan, intro yourself.
What are you doing?
What's up, boys?
What are you doing now?
What am I doing now?
Yeah, what's life?
You're on this press tour right now.
You did Ross's pod last week.
I'm doing the car wash, yeah.
Just trying to extend the brand.
How is the brand?
It looks good.
The brand's looking good.
The beard, you trimmed the beard.
You shaved the beard.
The beard's gone.
It's no longer. I saw Dan last week
and it was like, I mean,
the comp is always James Harden, but like
it was up there. White Harden, yeah.
White Harden.
Another guy. Because you're a white man. Another guy
post-Grandex who's still doing
content, which, you know, you love
to see. Yeah, we took a little, you know,
two-year sabbatical. That's all right.
We're back.
Who cares, man?
Stronger than ever.
J-Bone just got back in the game, too.
I know.
It's good to see the boys still mixing it up.
Mike is still in the game.
Let's make no mistake.
Mike is begging to call in to Too Much Dip today.
He has something.
Yeah, Mike does more content than I do, and it's my full-time job.
I have a feeling that the draft has lit a fire under his ass.
He's got something to say.
He is also champing at the bit to just go in on the boys.
How's the water cooler these days?
Did you know Dylan thinks it's chomping and not champing?
Total moron.
Isn't it chomping?
It's both.
Chomping might sound better and be kind of the universal term, but champing is, I think, the original.
Surprised you didn't know that.
Same thing with chuck and chunk.
Well, that's regional.
Chuck is – well, I think this is –
Like chuckful?
I think chuck is how it's technically supposed to go down.
You're going to chunk a vortex.
Yeah.
Like I'm going to chunk it downfield.
Or chunk deuce.
Or chuck deuce.
Or throw – I just throw deuce.
I would assume being from the Northeast, Dan, you're more of a chuck.
Like, I'm going to chuck that ball.
Like myself.
I don't think I ever said chuck.
Or chuck.
You're going to get a chuck.
Remember a chucket?
The dog toy?
The dog toy?
A chucket?
Dude, no one says launch, like, on a day-to-day.
So I was out on the chucket for, like, when I first saw people with them.
I'm like, why don't you just pick it up and throw the ball?
The leverage is unbelievable.
It's really fun.
Yeah.
And it's, like, yeah, you don't strain your arm.
And you don't have to pick up a ball that's covered in dog slobber.
Yeah, it's the move.
The fact that I was ever against it is idiotic.
Yeah, you're a moron.
Yeah, you know.
I'll own the take.
What do you think the Chuck It inventor is worth?
$3 million.
$97 million.
I'm going to say $65 million.
What's the price point on those things?
The Chuckit?
But he converted half of his salary into Bitcoin,
so there's no telling what it's worth now.
Oh, and we're pumping.
It's going up, dude.
Ooh, Dan.
Ethereum.
Let's go.
Come back, Dan.
For $6 at Chewy.com.
What's he worth, Doug?
I don't know.
I thought you had the answer.
You really just teased that and didn't have the...
I have his business insider article.
Let's not read that.
Don't care.
How many pop-ups you got?
Way too many.
Hey, guys.
There's a bullet point here.
It says, tell a friend about the podcast.
Yeah.
Normally, Will's hosting.
Will will be back Wednesday?
Wednesday.
Really?
His fraternity leave ends mañana.
Yeah.
You guys just leaving your babies at a firehouse?
What's happening?
Two weeks, man.
What is the time frame for that, right?
You get a full year?
A full year?
No consequences?
You just leave your kid at the firehouse?
I think you're conflating a lot of things here.
I don't know. You're saying you get a full year to leave the baby at the firehouse? I think you're conflating a lot of things here. I don't know.
You're saying you get a full year to leave the baby at the firehouse?
Yeah, no questions asked.
But how do they know how old the baby is?
I don't think that matters.
Like, you couldn't leave your 7-year-old.
Maybe.
Maybe they put him to work.
Maybe he starts cleaning the truck.
There's a number of laws.
They put him on the hose, man.
No, you have to go.
The fire academy is no joke.
I know.
I know.
You wouldn't make it through.
You're probably right, man. You and your back. You're just like, ah, guys, I can't today. The fire academy is no joke. I know. I know. You wouldn't make it through. You're probably right, man.
You and your back.
You'd just be like, ah, guys, I can't today.
I got my back thing.
I never saw the doctor.
This hose is heavy.
Even though I was supposed to see the doctor like three years ago, I never went.
I booked an appointment with Dr. Bob, by the way.
You did?
Wow.
He's booked for two weeks.
Because he's the most exclusive doctor in Westlake.
Yeah, because he knows what he's doing.
Is that the Undertaker's doctor?
Yes.
Okay.
Michael Dell's doctor.
He's the Undertaker.
The doctor who's like 5'3".
Jordan Shipley.
280 pounds of solid muscle, and he just cracks every bone in your body.
He will blow your back out.
He will.
He will just tear that back up, Dan.
Can we send Randy with you?
No.
To video?
I don't want Randy with me.
Oh, to video?
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
No, it's-
As long as people know he's not my-
No, no, no.
It's like an interesting-
It's very open.
The therapy part is very open,
and the part where he blows your back out is very open.
So there's not a lot of privacy.
So if somebody's getting a...
It's a factory, man.
They just pump you in and out.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
So you're saying that videos,
that TikTok would go nuts.
Dylan getting his back blown out by a short man stocky.
He's a short king. You don't have to dismiss him like it's all about the camera angle yeah last part yeah oh here we go
it's like a six seven video mixed with like one of those videos that people love that it's
like popping pimples yeah speaking of pot you know i caught him at lifetime watching a pimple pop vid
if if it's on my explorer feed and it is daily, I get sucked in.
You simply cannot go on Instagram when you're at the gym.
So you know the little couch right by the stairs?
Dylan didn't know I was walking down the stairs.
He was sitting in the one that has his back to the stairs, and I could see his phone.
I knew it was Dylan.
I'm like, oh, no, what am I about to bust him looking at?
And it was just a straight up.
All he saw was flesh.
He thought I was looking at something a little.
Which would have been aggressive as you were in public.
Right.
I wasn't looking at pornography.
It was just a pimple popping shit.
Anyway.
Hey, guys.
We can move on.
Speaking of that, we do a Patreon thing.
We've got the Worst Of tomorrow, Tuesdays.
You can submit stories through WorstOf at WashMedia.com.
Or if you're more of a form guy or gal, go to washmedia.com and fill out the form.
Also, Friday, Dan, we do something behind a paywall.
Do voicemails.
Well, at least this episode is not behind a paywall.
We would never put you behind a paywall.
People aren't paying for that.
No.
Don't put baby in the corner.
Don't put Dan behind a paywall.
I guarantee Ross lost multiple Patreons.
No, I bet.
Put me behind a paywall.
What is it?
Just patrons. No, I kind of like Patreons. Patreons, yeah bet no what is it just patrons no i kind of like patriots yeah
so check us out there um
dan we got a lot of things to talk about with you man uh just like overall just your your
your transition you're are you 30 now i'm not transitioning what your transition to washed i
meant not and not that we're hiring you, but you appear to be falling apart.
Seems that way.
You look good.
Yeah.
You look great.
For now.
You're living what some might say your best life.
You've got more impressions than we do.
I feel like you're on every Drinking Rose podcast in some capacity.
Well, I produce every podcast, yeah.
You have more reach than us. I which is wild to say as i worked at a gym a year ago not no shame
nothing wrong with that what are you doing now uh so i am producing podcasts for a company called
tetherball media the flagship program is the drinking Bros podcast. So you're a bro who drinks.
Oh, dude, I'm a sipping boy.
You really don't drink that much anymore.
No, not really.
Like maybe once or twice a week.
You're not really a drinking bro.
You could learn a lot from him, Dylan.
What are you trying to say, man?
And if I do drink, it's wine.
I like to party.
Usually.
You know, it's good for your heart.
I'm a wine boy.
That's every article since 2010.
Wine is actually good for you.
It's great.
We were talking about that.
Hey, V, can you write that up?
Cool.
It's going to go viral.
And it did.
It was click city.
Every time.
Every time.
The one on PGP was always, I feel like every six months, was like,
a new study shows that cheese may actually help you live longer.
Probiotics.
Did you see that one recently that uh pizza for breakfast
is actually more healthy than something else i don't know you have more more time to burn it off
yeah i guess gives you the calories that's cool uh we've cut out dairy in my household um due to
the feeding so thanks for bringing it up i haven't i haven't seen bay in so long pizza is bay dan i
don't know if it always is yeah so yeah is, yeah. So yeah, flagship programs, Drinking Bros.
Then I produce all the
different podcasts through that network.
I have a podcast with Chuck Liddell
and Adam Ray, comedians. Chuck Liddell,
ever heard of him? From Entourage.
He's a fighter, yeah. He is from Entourage.
That's what he's most known for, yeah. He almost got into it
with Turtle, I think.
I think Ronda Rousey did. Oh, really?
I thought there was a
parking lot dispute wait that's the movie okay probably you probably avoided the movie altogether
didn't you i did never saw the entourage movie it's a little fun fact about me it's pretty good
man there's no i'll vouch for it i liked it okay it was fun i liked it fun and flirty uh so doing
all the podcasts there probably do like like 20, 24 podcasts a week.
Obviously, Ross Patterson, former Hollywood actor.
Yeah, I'm glad you're on here because I want to call you out for something.
In our group text, me, you, and Micah, you'll often reference Ross.
And I always immediately assume it's a noted New York Times bestselling author, W.R. Bowen.
But it's not.
You're talking about your Ross that you now work for who I've never met.
So you've got to just stop casually throwing out the names.
Like, I know these people.
I don't know Ross.
You didn't watch The New Guy?
He's the bad guy in The New Guy.
The bad guy in The New Guy.
Is that the movie?
The movie The New Guy.
With the skinny guy from Road Trip?
Yep.
I've never seen that or actually even heard of it.
You ever see Accepted?
He's one of the frat bros.
No.
That, like, tries to – or he puts Jonah Hill in like the hot dog costume.
So he was like – He's topical.
He was just the villain in like all the mid-2000 movies.
So now he does podcasts.
Okay.
And then a bunch of like Black Rifle Coffee guys.
I think they're everywhere now.
And you're doing your own pod.
We've got our own podcast.
For the Drinking Bros Network, I do a college basketball podcast,
which obviously it's over, so wait until next season.
Dude, how about Baylor?
How about Baylor?
How about the Texas coach?
Am I right?
Yeah.
Chris Beard.
That's the one.
Chris Beard.
The Beard Master.
And then doing an MMA show with Giorgio Papagie.
He's the guy that actually hired me.
He's the other producer.
And he used to wrestle with Michael Chandler at Mizzou.
So we're actually going to see Chandler fight on May 15th.
Thanks for the invite.
In Houston, yeah.
Look forward to the invite in the future.
And then, of course, got my own thing.
I learned, obviously.
Maybe we'll touch on this moving on.
Kept the IP.
Softcore history.
It's my baby.
So me, Rob Fox, Jake Goldman, every week go through oddball history topics that you probably didn't learn about.
And yeah.
Say your grandma's history.
Have you had Dan Carlin on that show?
Dan Carlin?
No.
We don't like to acknowledge Dan Carlin.
Even though you took the name.
Well, no. It's parody law. It's a to acknowledge Dan Carlin. Even though you took the name. Well, no, it's parody law.
It's a parody.
Dan Carlin.
Hardcore history.
Softcore history.
Dude, hardcore history is a great podcast.
Have you ever listened to it?
I have not.
You're a hardcore asshole.
Yeah, no, I haven't.
I didn't look it up.
We rotate every week.
Last week was my topic.
Timothy Dexter was the topic.
I liked when y'all did the CIA's history in drug running.
That was Jake.
Jake loves to lean into that shit.
Yeah, Jake and I have some fun text on the side about mainly that.
So we all have kind of our own quirks for every topic.
So it's cool.
The branding is phenomenal.
I love the logo.
I made that.
Did you?
The neon stuff is very cool.
That is good, Dan.
Yeah, well, it's kind of overdone, but...
We'll try.
We'll try.
Just take the compliment.
Just take the compliment.
Seriously.
Hey, guys, let's recap this weekend of fun.
Presented by a new sponsor.
New sponsor alert?
New sponsor.
You guys are throwing in my sponsors?
No, you can't.
Maybe at the end.
Absolutely not.
Guys, Bison Coolers.
Oh, look at that logo.
Bison Coolers, family owned and operated in Texas.
Richland Hills, Fort Worth area.
Oh, fun to talk.
Those are mild stomping grounds.
My first job was in North Richland Hills after college.
Well, Fort Worth technically.
I don't know.
It might have been North Richland Hills, but that's not important.
I always claim Fort Worth just because Fort Worth's dope.
American made, hard and soft coolers, Dylan.
You know, it would be a real shame if you brought the cooler in that they sent us.
I got a cooler, and it's at my house.
It would be a real shame.
And they sent us a bunch of, what do you call them?
Ramblers?
Tumblers?
Tumblers.
Ramblers?
And they're customized.
They've got the circling back logo on them.
Very cool.
They're very cool.
The drinkware, it's leak proof, stainless steel, Dylan.
I don't know why you're a, it's leak proof.
I don't know how you pointed that out to me specifically.
All their products, Dylan, can be customized with logos and are great for employee gifts,
customer appreciation.
I said that weird or special events.
I think we need to just start customizing our drink where do they have a cooler that's big enough for, say, a small adult or maybe a child to lay down inside?
Randy, can you help?
Here's a sizing chart.
The sizing guide is amazing.
Yes, I believe the 150-quart size cooler is big enough for a small lad to fit inside.
Maybe Dr. Bob can get in that who is
this guy he's the bison he's the buddy really he embodies the bison brand he looks like he would
be like have like the number five song on the texas music charts yes this dude is in louis
toms's entourage yeah hell yeah this guy's walmart like luke combs yeah what's the quality
like on those days on what On what? On the cooler.
It's fantastic.
Yeah?
I haven't put any meats in there, but I do have all of the drinkware in there.
And just the thickness of it, just the texture of it, I'm a big fan.
You can use promo code STEAM, Brett, for 10% off your order.
So if somebody wants to get wild out there and order the 150 quart.
Can we post a picture of the wash cooler somewhere?
I want people to see this thing. It's pretty dope, man.
We don't have to. I'll take a photo when I get
home. Yeah, I don't have enough
going on at home with the baby or anything.
Dylan, thanks. Put another thing on the plate.
It'll probably take you 10 seconds to take a pic and then send it
to the group. No, but then you gotta be like, oh,
Will's not gonna like this because there's not like a
house plant in the background or some shit.
It's not perfectly portrait-moded.
There's not a Hemingway book next to it.
He's not too busy.
He could probably come over and take a pic.
He probably could.
Hemingway book.
Promo code STEAM for 10% off.
What, Brett?
I just want to know why you're switching to Bison this summer, Dylan.
Why am I switching to Bison?
Yeah.
Because it's a dope cooler.
Right.
And the price point's better.
Uh-huh.
You need any other reason?
I mean.
Done.
I just want to see people rocking with bison.
I think it's probably like big cat proof.
Like, nothing's getting in that thing, man.
Like, besides big.
Like, what if Barstool, a big cat, came down and was like, yo, can I have a beer?
He could probably get in it.
Yeah.
But if it was like a big cat.
I'd share a beer with him.
Like a big feline.
Predatory cat. Yep. It's not was like a big cat. I'd share a beer with him. Like a big feline, predatory cat.
Yep.
It's not getting in there. I agree.
Would you baby bird a beer with Barstool Big Cat?
Absolutely.
I'll let him do whatever he wants.
Okay.
With me.
Went a weird direction.
Bison Coolers.
Promo code STEAM for 10% off.
Dan, before we get into this, speaking of Luke Combs,
remember when he just put three in the drink at TPC Sawgrass when we were there?
Yeah, but that's a lot of pressure, man.
That's a lot of pressure.
And he's hitting from the drop, the drop zone, which is like, it's a, it's what's like 80 yards or something.
That's a, that's a touchy little wedge shot.
It's, it's a brutal wedge shot.
Yeah.
Uh, yeah, that was right after.
Didn't I get asked, didn't they try to kick me out or something weird?
Well, that was right after I nuked one on the fake 17.
Oh, it was because they were playing the National Anthem and you refused to take your hat off, remember?
No.
Yeah, you didn't stand.
No, it was because I think it was because I did stand and I was blocking a walkway.
And they're like, sir, you have to move, sir.
And I was like.
And you said, that's when i was like and you said that's
when you pulled the do you know who i am card i'm d-man from circling back actually it was touching
base they're like sir we don't care remember yeah you know what is my finest moment yeah they didn't
respect the d-man yeah we didn't get the inside the rope access i mean they treated us pretty
well but they didn't give us that we got i was thinking about the photo that Will got of the big cat, Tiger.
And do you remember when he was walking through to the tee box?
Oh, yeah.
And there was a young lady, not scantily clad, but, you know, she was pretty.
She was showing him off a little bit.
And the cat gave her a glance, and Will got a photo at the perfect time.
No way.
Oh, yeah.
One of the best photos he's ever gotten, I'll say it.
Wow.
One of the best photos of a cat.
I haven't seen this photo, actually.
Dan, did your girlfriend respond to the circling back tweet
and demand an ass off with Randy, our producer?
She did, yeah.
We've got to recap this weekend in fun, eh?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm sorry.
Come on, dude.
I'm worried to talk about my weekend.
It was dope.
What'd you do?
Tell us what you did.
All right, thank you for asking.
I thought you'd never ask.
I'm worried to talk about my weekend.
It was dope.
What'd you do?
Tell us what you did.
All right.
Thank you for asking.
I thought you'd never ask.
Well, Saturday, there was basically a monsoon in Austin, Texas, but it didn't stop me and Bay from going to a party.
We got pissed on all weekend.
We got absolutely pissed on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was going to try to come up with a different word there.
It didn't happen.
There was nothing.
Yeah.
Went to like a derby slash single de Mayo party, and it was just sick. I was told it was dilly de there. It didn't have it. There was nothing. Yeah. Went to like a derby slash single DeMaio party
and it was just sick.
I was told it was Dilly DeMaio.
You must have talked to Bay about this.
Yeah, it was fun, man.
A lot of fun.
Bay, Dan, if you don't know,
is Dylan's girlfriend.
Yeah, Bay.
Okay.
Yeah, B-A-E.
Thanks for clearing that up.
Then we went to Matzo Rancho,
which is where I went off about Vizzy
and how good it was. I like how you justo, which is where I went off about Vizzy and how good it was.
I like how you just floated the video of you
going off about Vizzy to us
as if you don't want us to post it,
but someone's going to post it.
That's okay if y'all post it.
I mean, I don't really care.
We'll post it.
Either way.
Sunday,
Bae met Quinn,
my new little niece.
Quinn!
And of course, Haley and Kendall. So that was a big day and we had a nice little sunday it was it was beautiful weather in austin texas the monsoon
cleared out what was the wait like for matt's on saturday oh um not bad really yeah on account of
the weather i believe we waited probably 15 minutes or yeah it wasn't bad at all that's
cooking kind of great guys uh i didn't do anything this weekend except for watch draft and fighting
so i will yield my time to our guest it's pretty good though oh it was great time that was the most
draft content i've consumed in a long time and that yeary knockout all time probably knockout
of the year right after we were did you watch the fights? Yes. What did you do all weekend?
So Friday, obviously, went on RBP.
Or, yeah, Ross Ball and Podcast.
Again, I get our Ross and my Ross.
Very confusing.
Yeah.
Because he also has an RPR.
It's RPR, RBP, same thing.
So I'm behind a paywall.
Did that.
Did the Friday Night Jack Sesh with Jack Mandeville, another one of our shows.
Oh, really?
That's Friday Night Jack Sesh. More on that in Brett's.
Just kidding.
Can't wait.
He's a pretty funny dude.
Did that.
Went to the girlfriend's.
Made dinner.
Saturday.
You can make it some extravagant dinners.
Let me just say that.
I'm a pretty good cook.
Are they like meals that you order that you just make right there?
No, I make from scratch.
Go to H-E-B, get everything.
If I'm feeling fancy, go to Central Market.
So I made a little chicken parm on Friday night.
Oh.
It's kind of like my go-to.
Philly guy.
That's it.
That's Philly.
That's very Philly.
Saturday, just kind of hung tight, watched the fights, watched the draft,
watched the Kentucky Derby, watched the Valspar because I had a vested interest in Keegan Bradley,
who had the lead for three rounds.
Tried to double dip, had a first-round leader bet on him that cashed,
so won at Box's ZD on Keegan this weekend,
but was trying to get three boxes with a dub.
Obviously put one in the drink on Sunday on 13.
He was the only player.
Flew into the sun.
Only player.
Got a little aggressive on that line.
Like, I don't think anybody else that entire week put one in the water on 13.
But Keegan found a way.
He did.
Wasn't even close.
Shouts to Sam Burns.
If it had to go down like that, I would have wished it was Max.
Because Max is at least a little bit more interesting.
But, yeah, just kind of spent the weekend just doing sports because of the weather and working.
Is a box of Ziti, is that like a unit?
Or is that a literal?
It's from Sopranos.
It's $1,000.
Oh.
Philly guy.
Got it.
Basically Jersey.
He'll buy a box of Ziti.
So when they play their poker games or whatever, when they get into a game, they just say, I'll have five boxes of Ziti.
Oh, okay.
Well, learned something new today.
Yeah.
How about that?
These freaking paisans.
Not a paisan.
Come on, dude.
Brett, what did you do?
Yeah, I spent a lot of my time following the weather.
It was a fun storm tracking weekend, Dave.
Yeah.
We almost did storm track on Friday.
We flirted with it.
Yeah, we flirted with it.
Other than that, I got some stuff done around the house, cleaned the place up,
did some laundry, you know, the usual stuff.
Didn't do much.
Got the new Vizzies for yesterday.
Spent a hefty amount of time by the pool.
Dude, how are you so bad at being in the sun?
That is such a SPF 30, Dave.
I kept applying.
You missed many spots on the arm.
I know.
I don't know.
You got to be careful, dog.
I was, Dylan.
You think you're tougher than the sun?
And you posted that cocky post on Instagram about who would ever need this light preserver.
I heard about that in the DMs.
Goodness.
Actually, you ever heard of shallow uh drowning heard about it you turn around not drown this weekend i did there was some flooded areas a lot of floods yeah oh my girlfriend actually uh
she got stuck at uh the president of tesla's house because she was doing a catering event there
you can say his name elon musk No, no. President. So Julian.
Julien.
Yeah, the French dude.
But Elon Musk did show up.
She said he came for about 15 minutes, had a plate of dinner, and then bailed out.
He just came by for a plate?
Yeah, have one plate of dinner, please.
That's not how you would order it.
One plate of dinner.
Maybe if you're Elon, maybe that's all it takes, man.
But she was the only person that showed up for the catering company.
That seems like a miscommunication.
Because of the weather, yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
Did she parlay that into a job at Tesla?
I'm thinking she might, yeah.
Like show that kind of work ethic?
She listens to the podcast her and my sister
yeah yeah so i keep up to date with you guys through that pretty cool dan's too cool to listen
she's pretty funny on twitter man yeah she's pretty funny i mean don't give her too much credit
no do i need to follow she makes fun down on twitter i'll be honest it's really all of her
content it's pretty funny pretty just follow me yesterday i'll hit her with a follow back. I'm team follow back. You should. She's the one who wants to have an ass off with Randy.
Right.
Honestly, Randy might beat me now because I haven't squatted in about three and a half weeks.
Well, who wants to have the ass off with Randy?
Dan or his girlfriend?
She wants an ass off to occur between these two.
Oh, I see.
I see.
I thought she was putting her own ass up against Randy.
No, no, no.
I'm team lower body.
I want to look like a fucking Dorito.
I'd rather be all lower body.
A Dorito.
Did you see the new Dorito bag?
Nacho cheese chip.
The new Dorito what?
Bag?
It's very minimal.
3D Doritos?
I don't know.
It looks like it's just boring.
It's not as extreme.
I wouldn't put my ass up against Randy's, but that's just me.
J-Bone was claiming to have.
J-Bone is sneaky thick, yeah.
Yeah, he said Randy's more toned.
Now, Dan and Randy, that's a good matchup because, you know, he's a bike riding guy.
He rides a bike often.
So he's pedal pushing.
Right.
Where you, I don't know, tell us, you're kind of transitioning into a washed guy with the, what is it, MCL?
Yeah, in the PCL, yeah.
Yeah, Dan's on the DL right now.
Are you down bad right now?
It's not great.
Shoulders starting to go, legs gone.
I don't really know what to do during leg day.
You just get used to it?
I ride the bike a little bit, but.
You take one CBD?
Yeah, rub a little Arnica on it.
Maybe some Delta-8?
Maybe some essential oils.
Yeah, I think
Dan, I see Dan in the gym quite a bit
and he's taking it easy, so I'm having him
form check me.
Coming over, checking me out as I'm pulling sumo.
I had him form check me a few weeks ago.
Dan hates that I pull sumo, but I'll do it on your ass.
I swear. You're not a sumo guy.
Yeah, and he also goes kind of
alternate grip. It's not good either. Yeah, and he also goes kind of alternate grip.
It's not good either.
Yeah, with, like, very low weight.
So it's really unnecessary.
Who do you think you are, dude?
You alternate grip sumis?
No, I don't.
No one's called them sumis.
You can just say sumo.
Just go overhand.
Just go shoulder length apart.
Dan said my form was pretty good.
He suggested I keep it a little tighter, pulling up, like, closer to my leg.
You want to activate those lats when you come
up. Yeah, it was dope.
To hold it. Yeah, he was like, that's a dope lift.
That's a dope form. That's a dope deadlift
you're doing. I'm still not as bad, like down bad as
Stanley, who's coming back from a torn
quad. We talk about Stanley every now and then on here.
Yeah, he comes up. He's a specimen
of a man. Yeah, large guy.
Dan's intaking a lot of caffeine.
That's another note i have here dan
walked in with um what is this again it's called ghost ghost this is a collab with our friends
of sour patch like they ripped off the uh snapchat thing thank you the snapchat ghost snapchat's so
bad snapchat stinks they probably don't like they're so bad they don't not even aware of
this company most likely probably not but before the pod, Brett was going through the ingredients on your beverage,
and you informed us how many milligrams of caffeine are you taking in a day?
Probably 1,200.
Dan, that's too much caffeine.
Are you sure?
A gram of caffeine.
Because I'll drink like three of these a day, a couple cups of coffee.
How's your tummy? Did you say three of these a day, a couple cups of coffee. How's your tummy?
Did you say three of those a day?
I'll drink like Kill Cliff CBDs.
How's your tum-tum?
It feels good.
I haven't had an issue with my Crohn's disease in like five years.
Do you take a pre-workout?
Not anymore.
No, I'll drink one of these.
Just have a ghost instead.
Every now and then I'll dry scoop it.
What is that?
Dry scoop pre-workout.
Oh, that's a Sour Patch collab.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It kind of tastes more like a Swedish fish.
You know, Sour Patch Kids are big fans of this podcast.
I see there's a whole thing in the break room.
Shout out to Sour Patch Kids.
That's a free ad right there. Well room shouts to sour patch kid that's free
it's free ad right there well dan i look forward to what you're going to bring to this pod today
now that we're 30 minutes in we just introed you for about the first 30 minutes that's on the host
that's on me we're going three hours you're doing rogan we're going we're going full rogan gosh
before we get into it are we allowed to say that anymore is he problematic now
it hard to say.
He's been canceled how many times?
We're going full Dan Carlin.
How about that?
Okay.
Let's do a promo code read.
Sorry.
That was my Dan Carlin.
It's not bad.
It's not terrible.
I haven't listened to him in a while.
Hey, guys.
Cuts Clothing.
Cuts Clothing.
Our good friends at Cuts.
Fellas, the sport of business means demanding excellence from your craft and your wardrobe.
Your fit needs to be versatile. Villas. The sport of business means demanding excellence from your craft and your wardrobe.
Your fit needs to be versatile, blending timeless style and comfort so that you look as good as you feel.
For that, there's Cuts Clothing.
Oh, shocker. Randy has another Cuts shirt on today.
He's the king of Cuts.
He always does.
He's absolutely king of Cuts. Do we get it? You work out, you want to show the bod off.
They've taken a classic men's fashion staple, the plain tee, and refined it,
combining premium quality with a minimalist aesthetic.
I think that describes Randy.
Premium quality, minimalist aesthetic.
There's nothing minimalist about that ass, though, I'll tell you that.
No, that's true.
That ass is a problem.
Cut shirts, polos, hoodies, and crew sweatshirts are made for the man who works hard,
plays hard, and never settles for less, all in the sport of business.
Business is a sport, Dan.
It's a sport, Dan.
Yeah. We've been saying it. Been It's a sport, Dan. Yeah.
We've been saying it.
Been saying it.
Been trying to tell you.
How many of the five tools do you have for business, Dave?
That's what I want to know.
Hopefully Cuts Clothing is one of them.
Dude, people are talking that I've created the sixth tool.
Yeah, I was going to say he's a sixth tool player now.
I've got all that and an extra tool.
Wow.
Take a plain tee, but make it Tony Stark.
How about that?
The bleeding edge of fabric technology meets the man confident enough to wear it. Cuts clothing. Okay. And can we talk about their founder real quick? Steve Borelli, great name, set out to create clothes ready for every occasion the modern man faces. Like, I don't know, being the video guy at an up-and-coming podcast company. He started by reinventing the t-shirt. That's where I would start, too. I've often thought about starting a men's quality clothing brand,
and I was like, I'm going to start at the t-shirt.
But Steve Borelli did it first.
He did it for you.
Yeah, he's already sponsoring the podcast.
You can just focus on podcasting now.
Yeah, that's probably for the best.
It's the perfect t-shirt.
It's premium with a purpose.
It's designed with custom-engineered fabric, expertly graded,
for the perfect fit, arming you for every challenge and opportunity.
It's not just a lifestyle.
It's not just clothing.
It's office leisure apparel for the sport of business.
Get 15% off your first order by going to cutsclothing.com slash steam.
That's cutsclothing.com slash steam for 15% off the only shirt worth wearing.
It's got Pima cotton now too, Dave.
You know that? Pima cotton. too, Dave. You know that?
Pima cotton.
Dude, I got my eye on this wrinkle-free pika polo.
You're a big pika guy.
Wrinkle-free pika polo?
I want you to get that, but you don't play golf anymore,
so it's not like you need it.
You don't have to wear it at the golf course, though.
No, but you can wear it to the boardroom, to the discotheca.
Exactly.
It doesn't matter.
You guys been following the Player Impact Fund?
What happened to that guy, by the way, the discotheca guy?
Wyatt?
He's one of the Koch brothers' kids.
Whatever he's doing, he's probably—
He's invested in Ethereum, probably.
He's probably a crypto billionaire.
He probably went from being a trust fund millionaire to a crypto billionaire.
What about his shirt brand though?
His shirt company.
I wonder how that's doing.
It's a side project.
He wears it from the boardroom to the discotheque seamlessly.
He doesn't have to change.
Yeah, a passion project.
It's crazy.
What was that shirt brand called?
That was one of the last things I published on PGP.
It was a write-up.
And I think it got like 2,300 reviews or something.
No one read it.
Nobody thought it was as funny as we did.
Wyatt Coke.
Hey, the player impact fun.
We touched a little bit on Too Much Dip.
Oh, it's the pip.
Is it the pip?
It's the program.
Program.
Okay.
Well, player impact program.
Yeah, yeah.
Like Great Expectations.
Oh, look at that.
Very learned man, Dan. One of the two books i've read golf clout wars they're looming the golf clout battle is going to be
something um i don't know how much you guys have looked into this i think it's something we need
to be aware of because it's kind of uh the venn diagram on topics we can talk about on Circling Back and Too Much Dip.
Like there's an overlap here because it's all social media clout.
People are going to get paid.
I think it's what, eight people?
Oh, no, the 10 biggest needle movers.
I thought it was eight.
Maybe it's the eight.
$40 million, all for popularity.
There's an MVP index, which apparently Spieth's dad's company has created an algorithm measuring engagement across all platforms.
That's interesting.
That's a little interesting.
Yes, but Jordan Spieth is absolutely the worst at social media among everyone on tour.
It's not even close.
Get him out of here.
I don't even think he's logged in.
Toss him.
Truly the worst.
He only posts sponsored content, and he's a blue chip sponsor guy.
So none of his sponsor posts are fun or anything.
They're trash.
It's all like, it's AT&T and Coke.
They all post links, too, that are just dead in the Instagram comments.
It's just, there's nothing good about his profile.
He doesn't even try to, like, you know, you have to do hashtag ad or whatever.
He doesn't even try to, like, mix that up and make it fun.
It's just hashtag advertisement.
Yes.
It's very boring.
Yeah, but you know who's going to crush this? Don't say brooch. I've got an idea. Don't say brooch. to like mix that up and make it fun it's just hashtag advertisement yes it's very boring yeah
but you know who's going to crush this don't say i've got an idea don't say brooch we are
morgan stanley justin rose justin rose has like eight every 15 seconds in a golf broadcast is a
justin rose commercial yeah this is more just like your social clout right and how no it's
your q score it's everything it's your Q score. It's everything.
It's got like six different things that go into this.
Three of them are the same thing, basically.
It's like a measurement of your engagement.
Like otherwise, Max Homa gets this every time.
Like Max would be number one.
I don't think Max is even touching this.
Yeah, but it still matters about how many people you're reaching.
Which, yeah, if you think about it, Twitter is what?
Like 2% of the world? Yeah, but sadly, like Max Homa doesn't reach as many people as Jordan Spieth does,
despite having much better content on his pages.
Right, right.
So Max isn't going to touch it.
Well, let me read this.
Tell me if this is a good tweet or a bad tweet.
Okay.
This is from Fred Couples.
Ah.
He used to be great.
Jim Nance's roommate.
Jim Nance's roommate.
I mean, he's no Stewart Cink.
Let me get this straight.
There's $40 million in play for the guys on the At PGA Tour
based on social media likes and follows and tweets.
The only tweets I've ever heard make you money are birdie tweets.
Good luck with that.
Huh.
Emoji.
Oh, my gosh.
That's terrible.
Had to do it to him.
That's bad.
I'll read that again.
The only tweets I've ever heard that make you money are birdie tweets.
Oh, no, birdie tweet tweets.
Do you get it?
Yeah.
Like a birdie on the golf course, Dave, but like a tweet.
Do you get it?
Is he not familiar with the concept of sponsored content?
Spontent, if you will.
Well, David, it's a creator economy.
Fred is mad.
He's big mad.
You know the old school guys are not going to like this.
This is a young man's game.
You're saying Jim Herman's not going to be happy with this?
Yeah.
Yeah, what does Lanny Watkins have to say about this?
We've got to ask.
Somebody needs to check in with Sandy Lyle.
Yeah, get Sandy Lyle on the horn.
Dude, Sandy Sneaky might have a case here
because I feel like every Masters that rolls around,
we talk about Sandy Lyle.
He's my favorite player on tour.
I don't think he's active.
Did he not play this last one?
He only plays at the Masters.
He only plays at the Masters, yeah.
That's it, and I love him.
So they're not eligible?
That's bullshit.
Like the older, like Jim Furyk.
Dude, he goes out there.
Dude, he's putting eyeballs on the game.
He fires a couple 84s, gets a couple rounds of golf at Augusta National,
and goes home.
It's beautiful.
Who's going to try the hardest?
Like, who is cloud chasing the hardest?
Justin Thomas, Brooks.
Bryson.
They've known about this since.
Bryson's not really trying.
He's just going to stay the same.
He's going to keep doing what he's doing.
Putting out, like, 20-minute.
Those meathead.
His little meat house or his little half-ass sway house.
20-minute pandemic videos.
That's what it would be called.
Meat house.
Yeah.
So they've known about this, the players, for a while.
Like a few, I don't know, six months or something.
It's weird that this dropped right after the Super League was announced.
Hmm.
Hmm.
And all the PGL talk.
Man, I get why they're doing this.
I want to grow the brand, grow the game.
I get it.
There aren't enough dynamic personalities on tour for me to, like,
really be interested in this.
There are.
There are plenty.
Not really.
There are.
Oh, Dan disagrees.
I mean, the announcers, they just kind of like, they find two facts about a person,
and then they just repeat it over and over again.
It's like, oh, that Max Homa, he's great on social media.
People forget Dustin Johnson can dunk a basketball.
Yeah.
No one talks about that.
Did anybody play lacrosse back in the day?
Do like a...
Shitto.
Yeah.
Max Jones.
You want to know who the McCorkle Jones?
The most engaged with golfers on tour are?
Justin Rose.
Ooh, let me guess.
Let me guess.
Justin Rose is just Jordan Speed with an accent.
You know who's actually good on social media?
It's Ian Poulter.
Yes, Poulter's good.
On Instagram?
Yep, Instagram.
Ricky Fowler?
Ricky Fowler is not in the top 20.
Never mind.
Tiger?
Also not in the top 100 in the world, right?
No, Instagram.
See, you have the delicate balance on Instagram because the more followers you have, the tougher it is on the engagement rate.
That's social media 101.
Yeah, Dylan, you learned that the hard way.
I don't really get that.
Doc Redman.
I feel like I'm pretty engaged. Number one. Really? Who? learn that the hard way I don't really get that Doc Redmond number one really who Doc Redmond on the tour in terms of
Instagram engagement with a 13.88 percent former former USM champ that's a
guy that Dan will Dan will text me on like Wednesday be like hey 125 to one
liar 125 okay this is just an engagement rate yes great I got percentages much
different just your total indeed I got you. Percentage is much different than just total engagements.
I thought you meant total engagement.
It's Titor's number one, Roy number two, Jordan three, Brittany four.
Yeah, the smaller the account, the more engaged you're going to be.
Joel Damon, two.
Who cares about him?
Victor Hovland, three.
Victor Hovland.
He's a decent guy.
Dude, sneaky good round.
Dude, Hov almost snuck up and backed away with that.
I would have loved nothing more.
Yeah, Burns ejected.
Hove could have took that.
Hovland is my favorite golfer.
Me too.
Right now.
I love the guy.
Yeah, he's great.
He just makes me smile.
He's high Rory.
He's very happy.
You say he's high Rory?
Yeah.
I think he does the weed.
Hovland?
I think he's down to do CBD on your ass.
Not on your ass, literally.
He's got to have his own CBD company at this point, right?
That feels like something he would just start.
I don't know.
He might check in, yeah.
I'm going to look into that.
You got any other facts?
Nope.
They're saying basically, guess who this is going to impact the most
or benefit the most.
One, Tiger Woods.
Two, Rory McIlroy.
Three, Jordan Spieth.
Four, Ricky.
Five, Bubba. Six, Ian. Seven, Dustin. Eight, Phil. Nine, JT. One, Tiger Woods. Two, Rory McIlroy. Three, Jordan Spieth. Four, Ricky. Five, Bubba.
Six, Ian.
Seven, Dustin.
Eight, Phil.
Nine, JT.
Ten, Justin Rose.
Tiger's just going to collect the check without ever playing.
Yeah.
This is the Tiger Woods insurance fund.
See, I feel like it's the insurance fund against the PGL.
It is.
Yeah, that too.
I was all in on the PGL.
Just something different.
Top 60 guys? I just want to see the chaos that would be too. You guys all in on the PGL. Just something different. Top 60 guys.
I just want to see the chaos that would be too.
You guys are F1 fans, right?
Yeah, ground floor, actually.
Ground floor, of course.
Been talking about it for a long time.
Check out Too Much Dip.
We'll talk about Lewis Hamilton today.
Surprising winner, Lewis Hamilton.
Yes.
No one saw that coming.
A close matchup with Red Bull.
Max, what were you saying?
I was just saying F1, there's, what, 20 racers?
Yeah.
So, yeah, I'm for cutting the fat.
Just get rid of, like, all the riffraff.
Just give me, like, the top 50 guys.
Yeah, you want the big names.
You're big names only.
For all sports.
Get rid of some of these teams, too, in basketball.
Who would be a sneaky?
Who's going to be sneaky good but, like, sneaky good but not in a try-hard way?
They're just going to be themselves and be like, oh, okay, this dude's going to –
he might sneak into the top eight and get the bag.
You've got to think sneds.
No.
You don't think sneds?
I mean, Duda's engagement with him might put him over the top.
Yeah.
Give me Jimmy Walker doing just like Q content.
Just throwing a big old piece of meat on there.
Not like Q, the letter Q.
Barbecue.
Major winner.
Jimmy Walker, yeah.
PGA.
And he's got the sneaky benefit of you Google Jimmy Walker.
Rowdy gentleman.
Adam Scott.
Parts and rec actor.
He's going to get added Google searches.
So you're saying that SEO can be kind of
misleading?
Misleading and affect people.
Is he the most famous Adam Scott?
I don't know.
I don't know who would win that.
Who gets busted for buying followers?
Bryson.
Is it Bryson? Brooks.
Brooks.
It's hard to say, but Brooks.
I like Brooks. No one's doing that, though. It's hard to say, but Brooks. I like Brooks.
No one's doing that, though.
It's too easy to figure it out.
Why do you like Brooks?
He's doing too much, man.
Brooks stinks.
Well, I was ground floor Brooks.
I've gone back and forth, and now I'm back out on him.
I was not real on that.
He's a douchebag.
I'm a DJ guy.
I don't think you can be a Brooks and a DJ guy.
Just because they've come to a head.
So to speak.
DJ is naturally
who Brooks tries so hard to be.
He tries to be the cool meathead
guy. He just does too
much on social media, man.
Plus he can dunk a basketball.
Okay. And he'll go
viral on a boat.
Every now and then. I mean, they both go on boats, right?
Both of them do boating.
Very true.
Who will be the absolute worst?
Who will be the most insufferable?
Bubba.
Is it Bubba?
Bubba's not as bad as you think.
Bubba gets a bad rap.
I feel like Bubba's had a renaissance.
You're welcome.
Yeah, that's his thing.
He was a golf boy.
He was a golf boy. Do you think him and Ricky
run it back with
Hunter Mahan?
Hunter Mahan.
Who was the bald fuck?
Oh, Stu?
No, the dude who's
really, really slow.
Can't even remember his name.
Can't remember his name at all.
I will say this.
Soft tour for sure.
You will be seeing a lot of
random golfers commenting the most basic way on largest –
Just fire emoji.
Fire emojis, fist pump emojis.
Cam Tringali just hitting up everything on PGA Tour.
Yeah, you're going to be seeing some volume shooting in the comments.
It's going to be gross.
Which, by the way, congrats to my man.
I think he became the all-time lead in moneymaker,
Cam Tringali, on tour for a guy who's never won on tour this weekend.
Good for him.
That's fantastic.
Speaking of breaking news, Dustin Johnson just tweeted,
thank you Valspar champ for the great event and posted a picture.
It's already starting.
That's it.
Give me a breakdown on that tweet.
How many likes?
One ten in the last 11 minutes.
That's like a contractual post. He that was hit the he hit val spartan with the tag yeah so yeah it could be i'm just saying
these guys are the volume shooting is going to start we need to do some kind of content with
this like we need to follow it weekly do like a draft of some sort you know who's going to
fucking crush this in the worst way the worst way. Patrick Reed.
He's creating sponsors that don't even exist.
What is his, like, he's got, like, hardcore software.
He's got, like, three different companies I've never heard of
that just sound like a fake company.
I love a good fake company.
And there was a point in time where he was wearing shirts for a company,
and they came out and actively said,
we do not sponsor Patrick Reed.
That's a tough place to be.
However, we appreciate him wearing our stuff.
Just to be clear.
Did that really happen?
Yeah.
What is he doing?
Why would he wear their logo?
Because nobody wants to sponsor Patrick Reed.
He has to be the least likable person on tour.
They all hate him, man.
But he's good.
He's good for the game he's a
villain i like having people like that exist speaking of existing can we talk about uh edward
starbucks order yeah who's edward first of all randy i i hit you with an email like one minute
ago oh look at that quickest video guy take some notes the game. Take some notes, Dan.
I don't know, man.
Starbucks was trending and Edward was trending,
and I was fully expecting to see that Edward Norton did something awful,
but he didn't.
It's just some guy at Edward and his Starbucks order is going viral.
A venti caramel crunch frappuccino.
Okay.
I'm going to try to read the ingredients in this.
This guy was doing a bit, right?
There's no way this is anybody's actual order.
This is for the retweets.
This is 300 grams of sugar.
Five banana.
I don't know if that's like pumps of banana syrup or something.
Extra caramel drizzle.
Extra whip.
Extra ice. extra cinnamon.
What is dull top?
I don't know.
I don't really get creative.
I'm more of an oat milk guy.
Seven pumps, add dark caramel something.
Sauce.
Sauce.
Seven pumps?
That's too many pumps.
Seven, add frap chips.
Five pumps, frap something.
Double blended heavy cream.
Heavy cream just unnecessary at this point.
Yeah, and you missed the extra caramel crunch.
And one pump of honey blend.
This guy's a biohacker.
Once you exceed a certain limit of sugar, it actually resets.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
Is that how it works?
Yeah.
This is pretty unbelievable.
I'm processing what Dan just said.
Is this the most egregious drink order?
Like, if you have 100 grams of sugar, what's the difference between 100 grams and, like, 300 grams?
200.
It's going to ruin your day anyway.
The answer is 200.
Just reset it.
What are you putting in your coffee?
You said you're doing a couple cups a day
This is black
Just black?
Just black coffee
Do you make it at home or do the drinking bros have a
We have a shit ton of coffee from Black Rifle
A sneaky underrated part of this order
Is that it was placed at 6.45pm
Oh so this guy
This guy was up until 4am
It is finals time
Edward, what are you doing?
Yeah, this was a joke
There's no way this is a real order
There's just no way
You know how sweet this would be?
I would like to see Edward
Like, just a pic
How are you imagining Edward?
Probably, you know
Not fat, but skinny fat
Yeah, just terrible body First team trash body Probably 145 pounds Probably, you know, not fat, but skinny fat.
Yeah, just terrible body.
First-team trash body. Trash body.
Probably 145 pounds.
Oh, wow.
Oh, so a little fat.
Tiny guy.
Yeah, like 145 pounds, 5'7".
But a real soft 145.
Bag of milk.
About 30% body fat, yeah.
Are you describing J-Bone?
No.
All right, well, I feel like J-Bone's catching straight.
Yeah, Jared's a little taller than that. I jared's around 190 you know he's injured is over his shoulder
does he can't play disc golf that's right what happened i think he's on the ir i think he might
have uh done something to his labrum or his rotator cuff and apparently his um his doctor said
well it's because the only physical activity you do is disc golf.
It's the only muscle in his body that he works out.
His only activity is on the disc golf course.
Yeah, that and twitch, which I don't think that's even comparable.
Well, it's a sport.
It is a sport.
He still claims that he could take us, me, you, and Will, in a, in a scramble format.
The more I think about it, the more I think he probably could.
Now might be the time to get him.
He should be learning to throw a disc with the other arm.
Like, just to, just so, like, you know, balance out the muscles.
You don't think so, Brett?
No, I, I do.
I, I think it's better for his golf game, too.
His disc golf game.
Because then if you, if you, if you're a natural fade, and you just, you have it in the bag.
He actually said it helped his golf game.
Really?
I didn't.
Okay.
It made sense.
Ball golf, that is.
Right.
Can you teach a baby to be ambidextrous?
Yeah.
My mom was born left-handed, and she was taught to be right-handed.
Damn.
Well, I guess she's not ambidextrous because she can't do shit with her left hand,
but she was taught to go the other way okay somebody somebody a lot of baseball dads
will teach their kids to be switch switch hitters from the jump just they grow up hitting from both
sides of the plate that's a thing for sure that's such over the top-top baseball dad move. It's really not, though. To teach your kid, I mean, maybe not, but I'm picturing like.
For some people to swing wrong-handed, it feels somewhat natural.
It's not a totally weird thing.
There's probably something to training the other side.
It's going to strengthen, even if you do go back to being a righty.
I went to high school with a guy who did everything in sports right-handed
except for shoot a basketball.
He did it left-handed.
I thought it was the strangest thing ever.
That's weird.
That's weird.
Yeah, because I'm hockey and lacrosse left.
He was good, too.
Baseball right.
Got to go up without a left hand.
You know, Jim Abbott, famous pitcher, one hand.
One hand.
He didn't have a choice.
He just had to use the one he had.
Angels.
California Angels at the time, I believe.
Do a no-hitter.
Maybe he's in a perfect game. What was it? Was it a no-no? He has a no- the one he had. Angels. California Angels at the time, I believe. Do a no-hitter. Maybe it was a perfect game.
What was it?
Was it a no-no?
He has a no-no under his belt.
I had one of his rookie cards.
No glove?
Just arm?
He switched.
So he held the glove.
He had like a little, I don't know if it's insensitive to say nub.
He had like a little nub that he held his glove with.
And then he threw the pitch, and he would quickly go like that and put it on his hand.
You've got to think he'd never won a gold glove, right?
Dan, come on, dude.
It's just really hard to feel your position in that.
I feel like it's probably right.
What Dan's saying is factual.
I don't know if it needed to be said, but I think Dan's right.
I think everybody was thinking it.
People were like, I wonder if.
Now, that would be a story.
If he took one home?
Yeah.
Yeah, do a no-hitter 1993.
Wow.
No shit.
Jeez. Good for Jim Abbott. Very cool. Yeah, threw a no-hitter in 1993. Wow. No shit.
Jeez.
Good for Jim Abbott.
Very cool.
Very, very cool.
Got any other fun baseball notes?
I picked up food the other night when it was raining, and I sat at the bar because it wasn't ready.
I talked Rangers, old-school Rangers, with this dude for like 30 minutes.
Yeah, I guess Bryce Harper's mashing it right now.
Is he mashing?
I think he is.
We've got to get all the sports in because Dan can't do too much dip today.
Brett, can we
talk about something near and dear to your heart?
My heart too. Our friends at Keeps.
Yes sir. How's it Keeps? Your hair looks
great. Thank you. Voluminous today.
Seriously, so voluminous like the
top of your head did not get scorched by the
sun. No, not at all. Like the rest of your body. Not at all.
It's looking good. Did you know
that two out of three men will experience some form of hair loss by the time they're 35 dan i did not did you bump in and out
dog like i'm not gonna say anything man i don't i don't i don't do that to people yeah more than
50 million men dylan in the u.s suffer from male pattern baldness that's a lot that's so many men
it's a lot of lads many men many many many many men he's doing
wish baldness upon me
look keeps is the is fantastic they offer a simple stress-free way to keep your hair
convenient virtual doctor consultations and medications delivered straight to your door
every three months you don't have to leave your home no. No more embarrassing trips to the dermatologist or whatever.
You've got to go in there, and everybody in there is kind of looking at you like,
oh, I know why you're here.
You're like, yeah, okay, I get it.
It's like the sneaky best part of this, man.
You don't have to leave your living room.
You do it all from right there.
They deliver it to you.
It's fantastic.
The treatment starts at just $10 per month, too.
It offers generic versions.
How about that?
Yep.
Dude. Keep the price down. why wouldn't you do this discreet packaging so you're not going to get embarrassed when you walk down
to the mailbox and you come back it's not going to say hey this this fucker's balding it's not
going to say that's discreet imagine the label that says that that would be a weird strategy
yeah although never mind keeps has more five-star reviews than any of its competitors. Prevention is key.
Treatments can take four to six months to see results, so act fast.
When did you see results?
Dave, that is, it's a part of the copy here.
That is the biggest point of this whole thing.
You need to play the prevent defense before it's too late.
A preemptive strike on your hairline.
Exactly, exactly.
I noticed some thinning at like 21, Dave.
I got on the train right then and there, and here we are.
Almost 27 this month.
Yeah.
Now he's floppy hair funk bread.
Yeah, look at him.
Right, yeah.
He's the poster child.
Sorry.
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This next segment's called Chinese Rocket.
What's up with the Chinese Rocket?
Well, Dylan, the Chinese launched
a 21-ton rocket the other day.
Let's go.
Great.
Successful.
Successful launch.
Here's the thing.
Wait, why is Dan so excited about this rocket?
Love China.
To space?
To space, yeah.
They're building their own international space station.
I feel like that was a key component here that we need to include.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, into space.
Space launch.
It wasn't like a menacing rocket.
Right.
It wasn't a North Korea rocket, because that would be a different situation.
A different country.
Yeah, no, they're going—
No, I understand that, but yeah.
They're getting out of the world.
They fire rockets for different reasons is what I'm saying.
It wasn't an Andy Dalton, like, red rocket.
Bears have a quarterback now.
How about that?
Anyway.
There's a sports tie-in.
No, QB1.
He's got red hair.
QB1 is clearly Andy Dalton.
AD.
So they launched a rocket.
They're building a space station, the Chinese are.
With Russia, right?
A little collab?
Hard to say.
That was a moon-based thing.
That was a moon...
We can talk about that later.
They've landed on the moon a few times, actually.
Circling conspiracy.
Shouts to him.
Anyway, they launched a rocket.
It all went well.
Successfully launched the module into space.
Now, here's the problem, Dylan.
The rocket that got it there, they didn't plan for after it got it up there.
So it's just falling to Earth.
They didn't really think that one.
You figure that would be like day one.
Like, how do you get this thing back to Earth?
I think the idea is that it's going to burn up in the atmosphere.
A little too big for that.
Oh, yeah?
So the 21-ton rocket is likely to crash uncontrolled back to Earth in the coming days.
It's traveling at about 7 kilometers per second.
How big is this bad boy?
It's 30 meters long.
30 meters long, okay.
Look, if this thing takes me out, so be it.
More power to you.
Let's say it enters the Earth's atmosphere.
Right.
And it's still intact, not burned up enough.
We're going to have time to – they're going to figure out where it's falling, right?
We're going to be like, oh, it's going to fall in like Ohio.
Let's get out of here.
Why are you always putting it on Ohio?
It's going to fall outside of Cleveland.
It's going to fall outside of Cleveland. It's going to fall outside of Cleveland.
It rocks.
Everybody, put your arms away.
We're good.
Question is, hey, everyone in Cleveland, heads up.
I don't know how much time they'll have, Dylan.
It's not going to be a lot.
Do we have parameters where it's going to land?
No, they don't.
Once it enters.
Do a little calculation.
Space News, of where Dave and I are news from,
reported the reentry of the rocket was impossible to predict due to the vagaries of orbital decay.
Yeah, I've often said that.
It's very hard to predict orbital decay.
Sounds like a puddle of mud out.
Current measurements indicate the rocket could reenter the atmosphere anywhere from New York in the northern hemisphere to Wellington, New Zealand in the southern hemisphere.
That is entirely...
That's a big area.
Too much of a range at this point.
Everyone in that, if you live in that region, just heads up.
Keep your head on a swivel, dude.
So how's the Banff, Vancouver region looking?
We'll see.
We'll see.
It's literally too hard to say at this point.
Dude, that's in the strike zone, dude.
You got to think so.
The strike zone is the entire planet.
Yeah.
So they really didn't think this through?
I mean, something went wrong.
I mean, it's not like they just like, oh, shit, we forgot about getting this thing back to Earth.
It's not like we built a rocket and launched it and we're like, oh, fuck, now what?
We forgot about that part, the reentry.
This happened last year, too, with another Chinese rocket.
You see these SpaceX rockets?
SpaceX? SpaceX rockets. Elon see these SpaceX rockets? SpaceX?
SpaceX rockets.
Elon loves to blow rockets up.
Do you see them coming back to Earth, though?
The boosters?
Yeah.
It's insane.
He's pushing it to the limit.
They land gingerly.
It's incredible.
On a boat.
No, I saw a land on.
They do the boat thing, too.
They come down real fast, and then they hit the burners, and it slows down, and they just sit down.
It's incredible.
I know.
How do they do this shit?
I agree.
The Chinese, how do they do this?
I'm not a subscriber to that technique.
Thermodynamics.
These people are smarter than I am, I think.
Physicists.
I think.
Probably a lot of time spent in the science factory.
Planning this shit out.
Testing rocket fuel.
It's pretty wild.
Everyone's trying to go to space right now.
Well, Dan, that's what big science wants you to think.
Yeah, he's reading from spacenews.com.
Right.
Is that real?
The trusted source on all things space.
Okay.
Space.
Space news.
Yeah, so we don't know.
It's currently in orbit.
Let's go.
The orbit is just decaying.
So until it starts slowing down to the point where we know.
You keep saying that.
I don't know what that means.
It slows down to the point where it can't sustain the orbit just falling around the Earth.
Did you know that the coastlines are like, you can't even measure them?
The coastline paradox.
Did you know about that?
I did.
Have you told Dan about the coastline paradox?
Tell Dan.
You know what the coastline paradox is, Dan?
Dan's a Florida guy.
Is that with the coral reefs?
Nope.
It's a good guess.
You can never accurately measure a coastline of any coastal area
because you can always have a smaller unit of measurement.
It's like a fractal thing.
Is your brain in a million pieces right now?
Well, California's going to break off no matter what.
Yeah, for sure.
It's something like that.
The big quake is coming.
The big boy quake.
Anyway, keep an eye out for this rocket.
It can't come soon enough. Am I right, guys?
When are we expecting this thing to enter?
Literally, Dylan? Impossible to predict.
Literally? Literally impossible. So it might never.
According to Space News. It might change course
and just go out into space and be like, yo, I'm out of here.
Peace.
No, it's definitely falling over the Earth.
It probably doesn't talk.
It's not accelerating.
You don't think it talks?
No, remember he's explaining the orbital decay.
They didn't put like a parachute on it?
Wasn't that a Pixar movie, though?
The Talking Rocket?
Was that something else?
You've got to strap a parachute to that bad boy.
Well, I think they banked on it burning up in the atmosphere, and it's not going to.
It's going to partially burn up, and they said still potentially massive motors and engines are still going to fall.
Someone's getting fined for this, right?
Well, it's made in China, you know.
What are the repercussions for this?
Economics.
If it lands on your house, you're probably getting a good sum of
from the Chinese government.
You best believe
they're bright and checky,
boy.
Partial burn also
what no one's known for.
Like, hey, your rocket
landed on my house.
Compensate me.
Took out my bird feeders.
Like, yeah.
Right.
Speaking of bird feeders,
I want to put an owl box in.
Oh, I thought you guys
had another ad read there
with bird feeders.
Owl boxes are so hot right now.
Why do we not have a bird feeder sponsor?
Owl boxes are hot.
That's on me.
I guess, is he getting off easy?
I don't know.
There's a lot of sponsors we could have that we don't,
and bird feeders is at the top of the list.
Yeah.
Seems like it didn't even cross his mind.
No, it didn't.
It's pretty sad that we had to have Dan on to trigger that.
It's okay.
I'll take my 10%.
No, I do want an owl box.
An owl box.
People put them in their tree.
You build a hot biome if you're not inclined.
Exactly.
And they just go, like, owls just see it and they're like, oh, I would fuck with that.
And they just move in there.
Aren't barn owls, like, aren't they?
What is that?
We've got a big package.
Big boy package.
Is that Randy's desk? Oh, it is. We've got a big package. Big boy package. Is that Randy's desk?
Oh, it is.
We've got another desk?
It was $70.
I told him he could get it.
It was on sale.
It's for the intern.
Oh.
Could make the intern assemble it?
I'm not fucking with that.
Anyway, owl boxes.
I probably won't never fuck with that either, but I just think they're tight.
Because the owls, they just know to go live there.
Really?
It's pretty, yeah, dude.
If you have the Nextdoor app, which I highly recommend, even though 99% of it's just trash,
you get some dope stuff.
You get some snakes.
You also get people being like, hey, I just put this owl box and check it out, and it's
a photo of an owl just hanging out up there.
Will you live stream your owl box? I it out and it's a photo of like an owl just hanging out up there will you live live stream your owl box i said live stream um i'm trying to think of like a of a content strategy
where you just you just go live and you just put your phone up there right and it's people can just
check in on the feed isn't that like that makes the rounds on twitter right like an eagle is like
an eagle one yeah yeah yeah yeah uh There was one in Llano recently.
Not recently.
Maybe like a decade ago.
Remember the eagles in Llano?
Don't you get a place out there?
There was an eagle nest out there.
Really?
Yeah.
And people were like pulled over on the side of the ranch road looking at it.
We get a bunch of red hawks out there, but don't know much about the eagle situation.
Okay.
Anyway, what did you think of their draft?
Would you want to grade it for us while you're here?
It's a great transition.
It's whatever.
I like Devonta Smith.
I think Devonta Smith's a Hall of Fame receiver.
So, yeah.
I'm not really looking forward to the Eagles.
I think they're a 6-10 team max probably.
Pumped for UCF getting five guys drafted, though.
There you go.
National champions.
National champs.
And that just proves that josh
heupel is an awful coach and tennessee is going to burn to the fucking ground wow
you win six games with five like draft picks or you have just as many draft picks as clemson or
oklahoma like josh heupel can't win with that team are you saying that the rocket's going to land on
tennessee yeah the hypo's going to get got by the Chinese rocket.
Wow.
If that really does happen, that's...
You heard it here first.
I hope it doesn't.
I hope it falls and no one's hurt.
But if it does...
It's going to fall on like a pizza hut or something, and it's going to...
Like, brand Twitter is going to go nuts.
I bet it falls in the ocean.
If it falls on pizza hut, then everyone's going to post the Papa John's Day of Reckoning
meme.
Oh.
Maybe...
Maybe that's what he was referring to?
He was at the Kentucky Derby this weekend.
Was he?
Yeah.
Fantastic characters at that place.
He's a Louisville guy.
Yep.
Can we do a follow-up?
This is from Bloomberg Businessweek.
We talked a little bit last week about the CEO who got canned for his microdosing of LSD,
which it's a Silicon Valley thing.
Dan, you're a big LSD guy.
I microdose time and time.
You microdose caffeine, Dan.
That's on record.
We balance it out, though.
I've been microdosing CBD lately.
Sure.
It kind of gets me on point at night.
Yeah, Justin Zhu is his name.
And there's a follow-up piece in Bloomberg Business Week,
and there's a little bit more insight on his LSD. I guess you can call it a trip. I don't know.
But to be clear, this is the first time he did LSD. He microdosed LSD before presenting a meeting,
like doing a meeting before potential investors, and did not go as expected.
It says here, when he tried to walk the potential investors
through a series of financial projections,
Zhu looked at the screen and saw numbers and images swelling and shrinking,
making them impossible to discern.
His body felt as if it were melting.
After an awkward pause, a colleague stepped in.
Zhu took a swig of his tea, decided to speak from memory, and pressed ahead.
The pitch did not lead to an investment.
Dave, are you saying he ends up turning himself into a glass of orange juice,
and then when he spills over, he dies?
That seems like a reference to a thing that I'm not familiar with.
No, no, that's just every urban legend about a guy that does LSD.
Why would you ever do LSD before hitting up a meeting with investors,
potential investors?
Wait, for the first time?
Did he take too much?
Was he trying to microdose?
He microdosed.
He didn't even do a trial run.
He just microdosed,
and the worst thing that can happen to you during a presentation,
one of the worst things,
first, obviously crapping your pants.
Second, feeling like you're melting.
You don't want to feel like you're melting.
With the numbers melting. I feel like I'm melting right now, mainly because it's a little hot in here. Randy, can you give us one degree down? Exactly one degree.
That's felt like more degrees, but that's fine. Yeah, I can't believe this. And also like this,
the title of this kind of does him wrong. LSD cargo shorts in the fall of a high-flying tech CEO.
There's also like an unnecessary shot that he was rocking cargos in front of some VC guys,
and that fell through.
Wait, he microdosed LSD and threw on his cargo shorts and presented.
I don't know if he had cargo shorts during that meeting, but he had them paired with a T-shirt that I assume was not a Cuts T-shirt
at a different meeting with some VC guys guys and that did not go well you can't you can't do that seems
like you probably just should have took the whole group down to peru and done ayahuasca right you
gotta get them on your level you get them on your level and then you sell the company years later
for millions of dollars to unilever after you make make, I mean, you get, you know, starting money from a sex toy.
Yes.
Yes.
Fleshlight.
Yes.
We've gone off the rails.
The American dream.
It is the American dream.
The fleshlight.
Capitalism.
Why do we have a fleshlight sponsor?
I don't know.
Mostly, you don't want to go, like, they don't need us, I don't think. you don't want to go like they don't need us I
don't think normalized male masturbation they're in Austin aren't they they were
yeah as well do you know who started flashlight or not no okay it's Aubrey
Marcus oh yeah his dad oh his dad yeah that's a referring to on it just sold our good friends and on it. I
don't know. We don't know. The deets. I'm still waiting for
somebody I follow on Instagram to just post like a obnoxious
story about it. But no one has yet. I want to know who got the
bag and who didn't.
Everyone in that meeting was micro dosing LSD.
Absolutely. And I guarantee it wasn't their first time and they
did not feel like they were melting.
I only see ads for their movement, their shoulder move
movement videos and the on it six program yeah maybe i moved to that maybe like you might
need to be a mace guy at age 30 i just get yeah steel mace a kettlebell and i just kind of only
eat meat i'm fine with that carnivore diet yeah so at the end of the day, don't microdose before a meeting.
Yeah, I won't do that.
I promise. I feel like it would be fine here.
No?
What's the worst that happens here?
The worst?
People are like, why didn't you share?
Have you guys done a podcast on drugs?
People are like, did they microdose during that episode because it wasn't good?
Have you done a podcast on drugs?
No.
CBD.
I've CBD'd during a couple of them. are you cbd i've cbd'd
during a couple of them do you fear it would turn into a joe rogan post malone podcast that's one of
the worst podcasts of all time like pause it you can listen to about 25 minutes of it and then just
this is indecipherable unlistenable just bad the one with elon was really bad the people who get
torqued for elon to go on Rogan are like,
you're not really torqued.
You're just saying that so people think that you're up and up on finance.
Except for SNL.
No.
No.
I'm going to watch it, but it's just going to be all secondhand embarrassment.
You see he's tweeting out soliciting skit ideas
as if they don't have a room full of writers.
Well, the writers might not.
They might try to sabotage it. As long as a guest host write skits is that a thing no i don't think so especially uh guest hosts who are elon musk right what's the problem with elon now
i don't know why do they have a problem with him he had some bad he had i don't know his
covid takes were apparently bad i don't remember i don't know it's hard to i don't know. His COVID takes were apparently bad. I don't remember. I don't know. I don't follow that much
of him. I only follow what he's doing with Bitcoin
because it affects the
very, very tiny amount of Bitcoin.
He's high on Doge. He's high on Doge.
Big Doge guy. What's Doge doing today?
It's up. Good. How many NFTs are you guys
selling? We're trying to make them.
What's our first NFT? It's got to be Dylan
dunking, right?
Do we own that property?
Mike recorded it on his cell phone, so I don't know.
So Mike owns the property.
I don't know.
From what I learned, my creative property under that company is theirs.
Okay, well, give us a – what's Danny's first NFT?
I'm trying to think.
Some circling back moments.
Sup's Dog? Where you just said Sup's Dog. Again, we don't own that property. Fuck. You to think. Some circling back moments. Sup's dog? Where you just
said sup's dog. Again,
we don't own that property. Fuck. You're right.
Were you in the Beer Olympics? No, I actually
had the foresight to avoid that video.
Good for you.
If you want to just turn this last part of the podcast into
the Grand X. Let's talk about the Beer Olympics.
It's one of my favorite conversations.
Me and Jared weren't in it. I don't think
Ross was in it. How was Jared not in it?
My name is John Duda, and I like cigarettes.
I like cigarettes, he said.
I actually like that video.
What?
Hot take.
Dan, that is the worst video.
It went on a little too long.
It went on a little too long.
That was the worst video I've ever seen in my entire life,
across any platform, any genre.
There's been worse.
No.
Yeah.
There's been some worse videos clint came
into clint called an emergency meeting about how bad the video was and he's not even a content guy
he's the five tool guy yeah he's a five tool guy he was like what the hell happened here i'm gonna
i need to text him and tell him that i have acquired a sixth tool he would be very very
happy to hear that do we say what is what is it i can't discuss you also like to know what that tool
is so he can then acquire it himself you're a tool oh really you're not a tool what
are your greatest grand x video moments dude i actually popped onto a couple uh
early tfm not early tfm videos but there's a tfm video where i make like a a quick in and out
tactical um as like an alumni or something.
I think you filmed it.
But it was fine.
It probably wasn't my highlight.
The Vortex video was good because I fully expected to be like,
to have like the least capable throwing technique of a Vortex.
And no offense to Will, but Will was the star of the Vortex video.
Oh, no.
Oh, no. That's the video of the Vortex video. Oh, no. Oh, no.
That's the video where Micah threw it, and then didn't he?
Yes, he pulled out his fake.
I don't know.
I think your probably achieving moment at Grand X on video is your voice in the intro of the surf video where you just do a little narration.
I forgot we did a surf video.
Who were the guys on the surf trip?
Hector was one.
I don't remember the other guys.
And the other guy looked like...
Yeah, the hot dude.
He looked like Bodhi from...
I was going to say...
Hector wasn't not hot.
No, Hector was hot as well, but...
Kind of looked like Chad Goes Deep or whatever.
Yeah.
Yeah, he was a short king,
but he was also absolutely stacked.
He was.
Like, dude does not drink.
Dude just eats, like, chicken breast and rice and broccoli.
And surfs.
And surfs.
I felt bad for Will in that photo.
Yeah, because you and Dylan are, like, both, like,
Dan's going crazy with the traps.
We've got the surf.
That's when I was on pro hormones, though, for Substock.
Was it really for Substock?
Because I feel like you were just doing pro.
You were doing
no no we had we had the wolf of supplements uh he says wolf have you talked to the wolf
supplements the wolf uh not really no uh but he would come on every now and then wolf of
supplements yeah as a nickname kind of a self-given nickname and he would just give us free shit all
the time and to kind of try on the podcast none of it was fda approved right no no and this was
after i already did i did sarms before that's how i lost like a deadly i got up to 230 pounds and
then i i went on sarms and got down to like 205 but i was like good 205 but it just like melted
half my face he melted like acdc sarms are terrible for you don't take sarms um don't
take pro hormones don't take anything, really.
I will, since I'm turning 30, I want to go to the doctor and try to get on the TRT.
Dan, you're only 30, dude.
So?
You don't need to do that.
Testosterone replacement therapy.
Oh, that's a real thing.
That's real.
Oh, yeah.
Dan, you don't need that.
Yeah, but-
And your doctor will tell you, no.
One of the co-hosts of Drinking Bros, Dan Holloway,
he hasn't worked out in five years or something,
and he's on TRT, drinks and does drugs every day.
Still cut because of the TRT.
No shit.
Do we need to edit it out that you just said he drinks and does drugs every day?
No.
He's trying to write a book called Do Drugs Like an Adult. I drink and do drugs every day.
He's a functioning drug addict. I don drink i do drugs every day he's a functioning
i don't work out yeah yeah he's a functioning addict uh former military guy fuck yeah yeah
we should have a service loves it yeah you should loves to talk about drug use and
his time over overseas do these guys bust your balls it's it's weird that like i am kind of like
the biggest beta at the company i mean mean, other than Rob, but.
Oh, yeah, Rob's working there.
I guess Jake doesn't technically work there.
No, no, I hired Rob.
Jake is just on.
Is he Rob's boss?
Not technically, no.
I can tell him what to do, though.
Is he doing that full time?
Yeah.
Oh.
Yeah.
Do y'all do editorial?
No, we don't write anymore.
So we just produce podcasts.
That hurts, Brett.
Brett loves editorial.
He's so horny for it.
I'm horny for editorial, man.
It's not out there anymore.
Like, there's not a whole lot of, I mean, even Barstow, I think, has kind of moved away
from it.
Oh, it's tough to monetize.
It's more about the audience engagement, the audience development.
Plus, if you're going to do editorial, you've got to be long form.
You've got to be, like, original, and you can't write.
Never mind.
Every time we do a survey, people want more editorial.
Like, our diehards love the editorial.
People who really, really like us, there's, like, 100 of them.
They really want to see us write some shit.
People say that, but then they'll kind of, like, scroll through it,
read the first paragraph, and be like, I'm out.
Not that good.
Dave's lost it. And they're right. Yeah, we haven't written in the first paragraph. Not that good. I'm kidding. Not that good. Dave's lost it.
And they're right.
Yeah, we haven't written in years.
No.
I do what's for dinner.
Yeah.
That's my writing chops these days.
Before we get into Brett's breaking news, which, oh, my God, I'm looking at this.
What a lineup we've got.
I want to talk about Ballsy real quick.
Dan, how are your balls doing? Do do a ball check on dan not super great if i want to get on the trt but okay like
how they smell on though oh they smell good fantastic direction yeah our friends at ballsy
they've developed the uh most useful product the ball guard ball deodorant how about that summer
coming up big big sweaty summer it's a revolution in testicle deodorant how about that summer coming up big big sweaty summer it's a revolution
in testicle deodorant technology say that five times fast well i won't say that five times fast
but i will say that randy let us know that he is currently ballsy up right now as we speak so good
for randy ball smelling tight good to know good to know that there's a good good set of you know
well smelling balls next to that dump truck ass of his.
Exactly.
Ball guard is a ball deodorant that goes on as a soothing lotion and quickly dries as a soft, silky powder to eliminate sweat, itch, and odor.
You don't want any of those things.
Sweat's going to happen, but if you can minimize that,
especially when you're trying to play golf with the boys,
swamp ass is embarrassing.
It's sweaty ball season.
It's swamp ass season.
It's very muggy today outside.
Personal anecdote.
Here we go.
After a round of 18.
You don't have time to go home and change, but we're going to Woodrow's with Dylan and his new friends.
If we're invited.
Yeah, you guys are not welcome.
Hang out with my new friends.
I'm sorry.
Throw some of this on, and you're going to feel like a million bucks.
It's like taking a shower for your balls.
Yeah.
Without having to.
No bullshit ingredients. They've got unique formulations.'s bold it's never boring dylan keep your balls tight dude
yeah dude i said that yeah you can't step out in the public knowing that you might have smelly balls
okay check out ballsybrand.com use promo code wash for 20 off your entire order. Wash 20. Wash 20. Yeah. Washed 20 at ballsybrand.com.
I highly recommend the nut rub as well, but the ball guard, it's revolutionary.
Highly recommend it.
If you're a guy who's used the powder stuff in the past, this stuff blows it out of the
water.
It's way easier to use and way cleaner.
If you're a chafe boy, this is an answer for you.
All right, chafe boy, what's your breaking news?
Oh, I actually have some breaking news.
Oh, okay. Okay. I'm just going to hij then I'll tell you who it's from after. Uh,
it's a photo of Sam Burns. It says a dream come true. Thank you to my incredible support system
for helping me get to this point. Look forward to what's to come at Callaway golf at Adidas golf
at MasterCard at origin bank. Okay. But it's not sent from Sam Burns' Twitter account.
It's from Bryson DeChambeau's Twitter account.
Oh, no.
He's stealing Sam Burns' account.
So they have the same team?
Gotta be the same social media guy on HootSuite or whatever.
Wrong account.
Oh, my God.
Dude, the clout wars.
There's going to be so many casualties.
Is it still up or has it been deleted yet?
I think it's deleted.
But, yeah, it was somebody's screenshot.
Oh, so it was a mistake.
It was a mistake.
Yeah, yeah.
So whoever runs both their social accounts.
Yeah, they have the same social team, apparently.
Love that.
Brett, that's a tough act to follow.
That was live, in-game breaking news.
Right.
I'm going to try to do my best here, Dave.
You familiar with Brett's breaking news, Dan?
He breaks news.
Usually stuff that happens mid-pod. But anyway, since you're the guest, I will leave this up to you. It's a little choose-your-advent Breaking News, Dan? He breaks news. Usually stuff that happens mid-pod.
But anyway, since you're the guest, I will leave this up to you.
It's a little choose-your-adventure here, Dan.
Would you like to go chicken tenders?
Don't you cover all of them anyway?
Dad bods or invasive Florida species?
I want to eliminate dad bods, so get rid of that topic.
Okay.
Yeah.
Invasive species.
Oh, yeah.
He's a Florida guy.
Did you know, Dan, have you ever heard of the iguanas in Florida?
Mm-hmm.
When they get cold, they just fall.
They just fall off the trees.
Dylan thinks it's pretty funny, actually.
They come back to life.
It's kind of tragic, really.
They live, right?
It's super funny.
I mean, they're falling pretty high.
Oh, fuck.
They're fine.
Depends.
It probably depends on what they land on.
Anyway, they're not allowed anymore.
Iguanas are an invasive species in Florida,
as are pythons and wild pigs.
As of today, they are all illegal to own.
Giant lizards, wild boars, coyotes, and pythons.
Get out of here.
Who's owning a coyote?
Yeah, why would you own a coyote?
I don't know.
Just get a gold retriever.
Or a husky.
A number of dogs, it would be better.
More wolf-like.
The option is a coyote.
Yeah, it's more like a wolf.
So wait, are they going to start eradicating the iguana?
That would be weird.
Hunting iguana would be sad.
Yeah, but then you let them out into the wild.
They repopulate, kind of like the pythons.
That's how the python problem became a thing in Florida.
It's true.
Man.
I mean, it's not quite on the same level as Pablo Escobar's hippos in Colombia.
Big facts.
But it's almost there.
Unclear about eradication, but it is now illegal to own them as pets.
That's a bummer.
You know, invasive species cause $1.4 trillion in damage worldwide every year.
We've got to thin out their numbers, you know?
Got to thin out the numbers.
It's too bad, man.
You can hear that.
Tell us about chicken tenders.
Well, David, there's a chicken tender shortage.
And mostly just a chicken shortage in this country.
And around the world.
Well, there's a wing shortage.
It's been happening for about a decade now.
It's like the male version of wine's healthy for you.
Right, right, right.
But people are saying this is pandemic related.
Is this like the lumber thing?
You've got to check the choke points.
What happened?
The pandemic? You've got to check the choke points. It's true. Here's a tongue twister for you. The pandemic
prompted poultry plants to reduce staff and in turn, the need for comfort food when Americans
stayed home has increased demand. Oh, conspiracy dams thrown on his tinfoil hat. Well, with the
Biden stuff or the alleged right wing saying that Biden wants to eliminate red meat,
now we're eliminating chicken.
There's 30 million acres in this country ran by Chinese farmers.
So it makes you think that are all pork farms.
Is that verifiable?
Is that big facts?
I had some really dope pork dumplings, by the way, on Saturday night.
Yeah, we're trying to transition into a pork country.
We have a huge pig problem, so that makes sense.
Hat off.
Ben Kaplan, the CEO of Top Agency,
said we didn't have optimal chicken distribution.
Some chicken in some parts of the world
that needed to be in other parts of the world,
we couldn't move it around.
There's a supply chain issue, Dave.
Also said bad weather and power outages
in Texas and Arkansas has worsened the problem.
And the grid's going to go down.
Thanks a lot, windmills in West Texas.
It's all your fault.
Well, they're cancerous, Dave.
It's true.
And they kill birds.
They do kill birds.
Anyway, 203 million Popeye's chicken sandwiches were sold last year.
That's why they pivoted to the flounder sandwich.
Selling 3,582 sandwiches in one day.
You ever seen a flounder?
Like, actually alive?
Yes.
They have the eyes and the head.
It's not great.
No, you don't want to see the flounder.
Weird looking, man.
Sure don't.
What, your friend floundered?
No, different.
We're talking about the actual sea creature.
Oh, okay.
So be prepared for chicken to skyrocket in price.
What's up with dad bods, dude?
Will Smith, Dylan.
I saw the pic, man. Now it's dad bod. Randy will smith dylan i saw the pic man how's dad
bod randy could you yeah that's bad there he is poor guy you know not that bad though for a dad
he's letting him hang out though he's 52 and he said i think he's got a role coming out doesn't
have to cousin his raps to sell records so he's in the worst shape of his life was the caption
of this very pic i believe it he's normally's normally a... Yeah, dude, remember Ali?
He was fucking jacked.
Man.
Okay.
I think he looks great.
I am legend.
He's pretty yoked.
Pretty yoked.
Just welcome to the club.
Dad bod club.
It's not terrible.
I mean...
Can we just kill that phrase?
Dad bod?
Yeah.
Dude, I want to put on a...
Five reasons why the dad bod is coming back.
Written by Dan Rejester.
Can we kill it? You have to write a column Five Reasons Why the Dad Bod is Coming Back. Written by Dan Rejester.
Can we kill it?
You have to write a column.
Dan, you killed it today.
Thank you for being on.
Thanks, Dan.
This is my pivot out of the pod.
Okay.
Plug yourself.
I got a tinky, man.
Go ahead.
I'll let you go.
No, go ahead, Dan.
Plug yourself, dude.
You can plug.
Where can we find you?
So just check out my history podcast,
at Softcore History on Instagram.
Obviously, it's available wherever you find podcasts.
And, yeah, leave a five-star review if you can.
Leave a five-star review for Softcore History.
Because that's how you manipulate the charts.
Let's manipulate some charts.
We'll see you guys Wednesday.
Tomorrow also for Worst Of, Will's Back Wednesday.
We'll have a good time.
Bye.
Bye. Bye.