Circling Back - Jeep Snorkels & Tie Dye Shirts
Episode Date: July 15, 2020In one of the most derailed episodes we've had in months, we discuss Dillon's new role on The Bachelorette, The Homie tie-dying shirts, a British bar that used an electric fence to distance customers,... a knife-wielding Polish dude who's protecting his Puma, Johnny Football's pivot to bro golf trips, and This Weekend in Fun presented by Vizzy. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (11:00) Dillon on Bachelorette? (20:23) Knife-Wielding Polish Dude (33:20) Johnny Football's Bro Golf Trips (45:40) Electric Fenced English Pub (58:51) This Weekend in Fun presented by Vizzy Birddogs: www.birddogs.com (STEAM for free face mask) Quip: www.getquip.com/circlingback (FREE refill pack) Vizzy: To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to vizzyhardseltzer.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge my name is will to
freeze to my right dave ruff so this morning i'm as we all are rocking my rollback mask
shout out to them.
And it got me thinking that I had a buddy, I may have told this before,
who used to sneeze by pulling his shirt out and sneezing down his chest.
And I wonder if that is COVID compliant.
Because, you know, they tell you to do the – Haven't we talked about this before?
Maybe.
Yeah.
It's disgusting.
It's disgusting, but it's not the most disgusting.
Yeah, it might actually be...
What's the most disgusting?
No cover at all.
On your hand.
Oh, yeah.
No cover.
Which I see people do in public on the reg.
Well, not anymore, but...
I've seen people sneeze in a restaurant, cover and oh like the light come to the window
will catch it and you can just see like a spray and it just it fills the whole room it is absolutely
disgusting those people deserve to get like publicly shamed they need to go to jail that's
a one-way ticket to Hansville like part even Parks knows not not to do that shit I just can't imagine
walking around with phlegm on the inside of my shirt. That's touching my chest.
You're going to have like the wet marks too.
We have gotten gross.
We've gotten hot enough in Austin that now if I'm at the dog park and I'm
sweating,
I will just use my shirt and just wipe my face off at the bottom of my shirt.
I just don't,
I don't care anymore.
Oh yeah.
I never,
I never did that prior to living in Texas.
And now I'm like,
all right,
that's a Texas vibe,
dude.
It's gross.
It's,
uh,
it's sweaty down here.
Can I say something else about sweat that no one's asking for?
Let's just talk about sweat today.
I got this new pair of shorts that I've been working out in, and they're gray.
And the sweat from my chest and stomach and everything drips down onto them,
and it just looks like I piss my pants every time.
Is there any way to combat this?
Well, if you're working out, it's acceptable to have wet drawers. Aren't you working out inside your home?
Yeah, but what if I want to go do something dope out in the wild,
and then I just look like I peed my pants?
I can't go run the trail and then wear these shorts out to brunch.
You're not going to run the trail to go to brunch.
Dude, I'm going to run the trail.
You don't go to brunch.
That's not an option in Texas to go run the trail outside and then go do a normal thing.
No.
That's what's miserable.
I'm trying to take Stella on walks now.
Unless I get up at the crack of dawn and take her on a walk.
We do like a quarter of a mile now.
You've got to do like 8 o'clock.
I'm trying it.
It's like 98 degrees as the sun goes down.
Yeah, but you know what happens when the sun goes down?
We'll be grooving.
I thought you were going to make a 98 degrees joke.
Shout out Nick Lachey.
When the sun goes down, you're going to feel all right.
I couldn't think of a 98 degrees song.
I don't know.
I do.
Cherish you.
They were truly trash.
No, they weren't, dude.
Yeah, they were bad.
No.
90 degrees went hard.
Nicholas Shea was tight.
He was tight, but just as a collective, they were straight up booty.
He locked down Jessica.
Well, for a little bit.
In her prime.
In her prime.
No, no, no, no.
I think her prime is now when she's like a billionaire.
She's not a billionaire. Stop calling her that. She's a trillionaire. Okay, no, no. I think her prime is now when she's like a billionaire.
She's not a billionaire.
Stop calling her that.
She's a trillionaire.
Okay, what is she?
Okay, she has a lot of money. She's definitely worth like $450.
We did this already.
She's worth $200.
Oh, I bet it's more than that now.
Those are outdated stats.
I don't know if they are.
Look it up, dog.
I don't know if they are.
Dave's official guess is $450.
I'm saying $330.
Why are you guys?
I just looked it up.
Oh, that was the actual number?
This is from two days ago on Yahoo.
Two days ago on Yahoo.
Okay, either way, she's worth a fifth of a billion.
She is priming.
She's more money than we have.
She's prime time.
Who isn't worth a fraction of a billion?
We're worth a very small fraction of a billion.
What would that fraction look like?
Not great.
Yeah.
But even if you reduce it down, it's still just going to be bad.
We've got time.
I bet Dylan had a really hard time reducing his fractions back in the day.
Dude, they called me the reducer.
No, no one called you that.
When Dylan was in high school doing algebra, they had the calculators that were the size of a room.
It was like the mainframe.
No, they had the ones with just the sliders.
What's the Egyptian thing?
Dude, they taught us in school at one point.
They busted out the old school calculators, like the wood things that had like the rungs and the slider things.
It was like, what are we doing here?
I'm never going to use this.
No.
I saw some girl retweet something the other day that was saying we need to teach sign language instead of cursive.
And I was like, you know what?
That's probably a good call.
I'm in on that.
Can you write in cursive?
I bet your cursive is trash.
I bet I can, but it would take me some time to remember how to connect each letter and all that.
There's no right way to do it about cursive.
Well, there's a right way to do it.
Everybody has their own flair on cursive. Exactly. You put your own flair on it. Well, there's a right way to do it. Everybody has their own flair on cursive.
Exactly. You put your own flair on it.
My signature is technically cursive
because all the letters connect.
I was looking at your signature recently.
It sucks. It's good.
When I'm not doing it sloppy.
If I focus, it's pretty tight.
Some guys that went to high school with Dylan used to tell me
that he would practice his signature
on his book covers to prepare for being a professional athlete.
I 100% did that.
I heard he would do it on actual baseballs at practice so he could get the right cadence down on the baseball.
He's like tossing them out to the parents.
That's a made-up story that it actually did happen.
Who didn't practice their sig?
I used to model mine after Walt Disney.
I was practicing mine for signing contracts.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, just early Dave, just doing like Tom Cruise.
Just M&A.
M&A.
How did we even get here?
Murders and acquisitions.
I don't know.
We came in hot this morning.
Yeah, no kidding.
Woo!
Wait, what were you saying?
Walt Disney?
What was his signature?
You know, the Walt Disney logo.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Like, the really loopy.
And my initials were WD, so it made it very easy for me to emulate that.
Damn, when you turn 40, WD40 is going to be the hashtag.
Oh, yeah, dude.
My 40th birthday party is going to be dope.
What was your hashtag, Dylan, for your 40th?
I'll let you know in four years, David.
You jerk.
This fucking guy.
Man.
Jeez.
Gets one kill on the Twitch stream.
The age thing was brought up again during that Twitch stream.
Okay, I'm going to say this.
I love the chat.
Let me be the first to say it, but they got to come up with something new.
It's a blessing that I was not able to see the chat as I was playing.
I don't know how the streamer follows the chat and the game at the same time.
I'm going to be the worst Twitch streamer.
Does he just have a couple screens
going? Is that how he does it?
Gotta be. I feel like he's a PC
guy. He also hacks
on that keyboard. We're talking about Shido.
Yeah, Shido. Call me Shido on Twitter.
We did his Twitch stream last night. Will, I promise
we'll move on from this quickly. Sorry.
We gotta at least talk. Dylan was on the sticks. Will, I promise we'll move on from this quickly. Sorry. We got to at least talk.
Dylan was on the sticks.
No, you guys can talk about the stream all you want.
The only time I get tired of you guys talking is when I'm like, dude, so I was dropping in here.
Oh, we didn't get that.
It's like, dude, shut up.
Dude, you know you love Verdansk.
We dropped into the Boneyard last night.
Dude, don't care.
You know you love Verdansk.
Dylan did a tour in Verdansk.
Yeah, dude.
I've got people, I've got like friends
Bullying me for not playing
Call of Duty at this point
Like I can't even text
J-Bone without him being like
Don't talk to me
Unless you're doing Call of Duty
Oh my god
Fuck off J-Bone
Actually like no one
No one really streams FIFA
Yeah
I mean if they do
It's like very
It's not lucrative
Yeah
Yeah
J-Bone told me that people
Don't stream
Or no
In order to stream FIFA
You have to talk the entire time
And I'm like
Isn't that the point
Of twitching anyway
Like I I don't want to sit down And play a game Where, you have to talk the entire time. And I'm like, isn't that the point of twitching anyway?
I don't want to sit down and play a game where I just sit there and there's a camera on my face and I'm just mouth-breathing into it.
We need to put Parks on the twitch but not tell him that he's being twitched
or whatever the term is for it.
Wire tap your son?
Don't tell him that he's twitched up.
He'll lock up because he doesn't do well under pressure.
But if he doesn't think eyes are on him, he'll just talk his little thing off.
I was looking at his mom's gram last night.
She posted a vid of him trying to hit a cannonball.
You're going to have to work on that a little bit.
He doesn't hold it throughout the –
He missed an arm.
Really bailed on it.
He missed an arm.
He bails at the last second there.
Doesn't really get the whole – Just not committed to the ball. Yeah. Dude, he's on it. He missed an arm. He bails at the last second there. Doesn't really get the whole.
Just not committed to the ball.
Yeah.
Dude, he's swimming, though.
Just like his dad.
He's swimming without a life jacket for the first time.
But based on his cannonball, it brings up a lot of questions about your can openers or your flying squirrels.
Oh, stop.
No.
Yeah, they say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, right?
Look.
That's what they say.
If he's not willing to hold a cannonball, I don't think his dad is willing to hold a flying squirrel.
I'll tell you this.
I'm head first to the water when I do my flying squirrels.
No, you're not.
There's no way.
Dude, I am.
Absolutely no way.
His dad definitely doesn't cover my six.
I asked you specifically to watch my six, and you didn't.
I did.
I watched your shit.
You know when I knew I was out
on playing Call of Duty for good?
It was last night when I tuned into the
stream and I saw that Shido was directing
somebody south and I was
like, okay, yeah, I'm not going to be able to play.
There's just no way I can actually do direction.
Playing with teams is a whole different ball
game for me because the whole time
I'm just like, where are my teammates and
do I need to follow them?
And then I just.
That's strange that you have problems with that, Dylan, because you were an Eagle Scout, right?
No, David.
You made Eagle, you told me.
I was never a Boy Scout.
I made fun of Boy Scouts.
I was a Boy Scout.
I was a wee blow.
I would have made fun of you.
Well, we were out there just fucking whittling and shit, so.
Shooting bow and arrows.
It doesn't sound that tight.
You were probably at home whittling your wiener you had a little fucking ribbon on your shirt i
did i a little i got a badge i made a fire i got a bad farm yeah it's bad i'll make a fire
i'll throw you in it i'll put your fire out no you won't you'll burn alive in my fire
jesus i got dark i'm just saying i'll build a fire
Jesus, that got dark.
I'm just saying, I'll build a fire.
Sorry, sir.
Yeah, just chill out, man. Hey, man.
It's just a game.
We did have those little handkerchiefs.
Mm-hmm.
It had the little...
What is that?
The Boy Scout uniform.
Part of the Boy Scout uniform.
Oh, I never even sniffed the Boy Scouts.
I was never getting close to that.
That'd be weird to sniff them.
Yeah.
My parents just took one look at me, and they were like,
yeah, he's not Boy Scout material.
Well, nobody was.
There's, like, two dudes who probably, like, went to Eagle Scouts
and probably became, like, Army Rangers or something.
Everybody else, like, was just out there farting around,
shooting bow and arrows and stuff.
I mean, being an Eagle Scout is objectively, like—
It's badass.
It's badass, but they have a bad rep.
Like, the only eagle scouts
that i knew in my school like no offense to those dudes but they definitely weren't the most rugged
dudes out there if i got lost with them i'd be like oh man i'm lost with him like this isn't
gonna go well they're soft dude like what is he gonna whittle me something i'm not afraid of an
eagle scout park said he wants to do cub scout is that what he told you he had mentioned it to me
well his dad he said he said that he's afraid of what you might tell him.
He's wondering, he's like, will you fund me for this?
And I was like, god damn, okay.
You float me a stack, dude?
Yeah, I floated him a stack.
I dropped him a stack so he could go to the buy station and get his Cub Scout gear.
Oh, my god.
Oh, I missed the little guy.
Oh, have you guys seen the breaking news on the TL?
Apparently, Dylan got cast as the new Bachelor.
Yeah, Cat Pat is all over this already.
Oh.
He looks significantly older than I do.
Like, significantly.
Dude, this is you in a Mizzen and Mane shirt.
That guy looks 55 compared to me.
Can we at least acknowledge that?
Wait, is this serious?
This has been a new guy? Wait, is this serious? This is the new guy?
He's 37.
37.
That's not a 37-year-old.
Oh, he's one of the guys.
He's not the bachelor.
Okay.
No, no, he's just one of the dudes.
He's hot.
I'm a year younger than that guy.
Why are you worried about this?
No, I'm not worried about it.
I just think he looks much, much older than me.
This dude looks like he aggressively pushes a suitcase with wheels through the airport,
like in a manner that's like reckless to people around him.
He has never been on a Southwest flight where he wasn't A1 through 5.
Yeah.
This dude has the best seats.
He's got high-end luggage, too.
His chest hair is drenched in cologne.
Yeah.
He's not a bad-looking dude at all.
He's an absolute snack.
No, he is good-looking.
Unfortunately, we have the same hairline, which is not a compliment to him.
If your hairline looks like that, your hairline looked like that at 37.
Bennett's 37.
I'm 36.
Yours is a little better than his.
I mean, are you?
Yours is better than his.
I'm looking at both now.
Oh, thank you, David.
I appreciate that.
Not to be a jerk, but this guy just looks like he's more successful than you.
I mean, that's fair.
No, he looks, I totally agree.
I mean, this guy's in medical sales.
For sure.
Right?
He might be a real estate professional.
I would buy a house from that dude.
This guy's, but he does like corporate, like commercials, the word I'm looking for, real estate.
If he knew that his doppelganger Dylan was doing podcasting,
he would just think that you're wasting your life.
Oh, yeah.
He's like, what?
Who's this guy who looks like me?
No.
This dude, if he ever met us at a bar, he would pull aside and be like,
so you guys do podcasts?
He's like, I've been thinking about doing a real estate podcast, man.
I think I'd be pretty good on there.
And we'd be like, yeah, man.
He'd be like, how do y'all make money?
Dude, that sounds great.
Yeah.
Do you guys make money?
You guys need to have me on to talk about the Austin market.
It's crazy right now.
Oh, man. What's this fucker's
name? Bennett? Probably a nice guy.
People are just piling on.
I can't get away from the old man
jokes, man. You look better
than this guy. This guy looks
older than 40. We've only seen one photo
of this guy. I'm not willing to say that Dillard looks better.
He has better chest hair than you.
He shows a great picture of himself.
I mean, that's him looking tip-top, you know?
His chest hair game is so much stronger than yours.
I have good chest hair.
Take your shirt off.
Why is it not popping out the top, then?
Should I twist it around my head like a helicopter?
Yeah.
Here you go.
Do it.
No.
Shout out to Bennett, Atlanta, Georgia.
I'm happy about the recasting of her season.
There are too many young dudes.
We need more 37-year-old dudes on Claire's season.
I agree with that.
If there's a fight, I want dad strength to be in the mix.
Yeah.
Dad dick.
Our friend Landry says that this guy wants to sell me a back-to-back world
world champ shirt so bad right now okay come on dog don't do me like that what dude it'll probably
just end up like in a like a goodwill somewhere and then some dude in costco is gonna blow up on
somebody wearing that same shirt damn that. That was a tough look.
Yeah.
Dude, you can't just be running up on people in Costco in RG shirts.
So every time I go to Costco, since seeing that video, actually, it's been before that.
Anytime I'm at a gas station or picking up food, I'm just waiting to witness a scene
like that where somebody doesn't want to wear a mask and gets into it.
Like,
cause it's going to happen to one of us,
right?
We're one of us is going to walk in,
walk in somewhere and have to pull our phones out and be like,
everywhere I go,
everywhere I go.
There's just like,
I mean,
cause it's,
it's now required in Austin and people are just like walking around with it
wrapped around their chin.
And I'm like,
dude,
I feel,
I feel like that's not how you're supposed to wear it.
Dog.
The only store I'm going to for groceries is Whole Foods.
There's one close to me, and that's a very granola store.
I feel like those type of people stay away from Whole Foods.
They go to Costco or H-E-B.
What's that supposed to mean?
That's very classist.
No, I don't think so.
I don't even know what your point was.
I'm just fucking with you.
I go to both.
Anti-mask people aren't the type to go to Whole Foods.
Right.
That's fair.
Yeah.
But unless you get like a really affluent one.
Anti-masker.
I don't want people with the flu going to my Whole Foods.
Agree.
You can't buy like, you can't get like chicken, like frozen chicken nuggets at Whole Foods.
You can, but it's made of, like, tofu.
Yeah, exactly.
Boom.
There it is.
Impossible chicken or whatever the fuck.
Get out of here with that.
Jackfruit?
Oh, yeah, I forgot about jackfruit.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
It's a name I skin care company.
Jackfruit tastes weird.
I'm all the way out on jackfruit.
I don't think I've ever had it, but I'm out.
I feel like we've tried it. I don't think so. Did had it, but I'm out. I feel like we've tried it.
I don't think so.
Did you try it?
I've tried it.
Dude, I just do acerola.
That's it.
I've tried jackfruit.
It's not a meat alternative, I don't think.
No, that's just a super fruit.
It's a super fruit, though.
Hey, can we get some programming notes out of the way?
Yeah.
First and foremost, go follow Circling Back Pod on all social media, Twitter and Instagram.
Leave a five-star review if you feel so inclined.
If you don't feel inclined to do it, then don't do it.
Don't just go leave a two-star review because that would be mean.
Yeah, you'd just be a jerk.
But hey, reviews help us.
Go make that happen.
Also, every Tuesday and Friday, you can find us on Patreon,
patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast.
Yesterday, we had Jerry McGuire in the stream room.
Next week, we're doing Social Network.
I don't even think we've told Dylan that we're doing Social Network yet.
We decided this.
Yeah, we decided.
You were actually sitting right here, but you didn't have any reaction to us doing Social Network.
So we just kind of like wrote it down.
You really didn't.
Is that on Netflix?
Yes.
Okay.
It's on the flicks.
You know what?
That is a really, really good movie.
Yep.
And tonight we're doing Happy Hour Live.
We got a, I think we're doing a little fit pic contest
if you have a fit pic wearing some circling back gear sunday scares gear works as well
any gear from wash media uh put it on the tl respond to the tweet that we put up last night
asking for these photos and maybe you'll see yourself there and maybe you'll get a
gift card to the wash media store which you can find at washmedia.com shop
but before we get into it let's talk about our friends over at bird dogs you guys are gift card to the Wash Media store, which you can find at washmedia.com slash shop.
But before we get into it, let's talk about our friends over at Bird Dogs.
You guys are aware about these guys, right?
I'm on a nationally televised commercial wearing Bird Dogs, so what do you think?
Last night, your boy put on some of his, and he got on the Peloton and just grinded.
Really?
Yeah.
I was just sweating through those things.
They were so comfortable I was doing it, though.
You know what I'm going to start doing?
What?
Now that our neighborhood pool is open, we have two of them.
One is about a mile away.
I'm going to throw the bird dogs on.
I'm going to run there, get nice and sweaty.
I'm going to go for a little dip.
Are you going to run there like you do at the beach?
Are you just going to sprint the entire way to the place and then just sprint directly into the pool?
We're talking cardio here, okay?
I'm going to get a workout in and take a dip and then run back.
That's kind of a trash move to put your sweaty body right into the pool.
No, it's chlorine. I was waiting for you to say that, Dave.
There's a shower right next to the pool.
Yeah, I'm sure you're going to shower.
I probably won't, but you never know.
The option's there for me.
This guy.
You'll be looking good in your bird dogs, huh?
They'll be dry by the time I get back home.
I'll be putting my bird dogs on when I get home today
because I've got to get a pump in.
Yeah, I was going to say
you need to.
I'm feeling soft.
You're looking very frail.
I had half an avocado
this morning.
Oh my gosh.
Why just half?
Because they're the Hoss ones.
Oh, yeah.
They're simply huge.
I don't buy those ones.
It's too big.
I did the shopping this week
and I am an idiot.
There's avocados on the list
and I just bought
the biggest ones I fucking saw.
Dude, they're huge. Yeah, I can't do them. They make no sense. I can't do them like that. There's avocados on the list and I just bought the biggest ones I fucking saw. Dude, they're huge.
Yeah, I can't do them.
They make no sense.
I can't do them like that.
There's too much cado.
We're not doing cado,
I don't think.
I think we just did.
And if you're not aware,
you don't just have to wear shorts
when it comes to bird dogs.
They have pants
and they're some of the best pants
I've ever worn.
Oh, they're my golf pants.
They're my happy hour pants.
That's a line from my commercial.
Wow.
Which is funny because you rarely play golf and you never go to happy hour.
Well, dude, it's a pandemic right now.
What do you want me to do, dog?
I'll be the only one at the happy hour.
You don't even party.
I'm going to Michigan in two weeks and I've already mentally packed my bird dogs to play golf in.
It's perfect for Michigan golf.
How jealous are you guys that I get to play golf in bird dogs' pants?
Mentally packed. Mentally packed. Pretty jealous, Will. Thank you. Thanks for Michigan golf. How jealous are you guys that I get to play golf in bird dog pants? Mentally packed.
Mentally packed.
Pretty jealous, Will.
Thank you.
Thanks for the invite.
I mean, I think I literally did invite you guys.
You literally didn't.
I think I said, like, we should all just go up there and take a week.
Might be fun.
Maybe I'll be there.
Whatever.
These things are comfy.
They're great.
Go to birddogs.com.
Enter promo code STEAM, and they'll throw in a free bird dog's face mask.
It's like a condom for your mouth.
You'll get a free Bird Dogs face mask along with your pair of Bird Dogs.
They're actually very quality masks.
They make you feel like your auntie sewed it just for you.
That's BirdDogs.com, promo code STEAM, and boom, a free Bird Dogs face mask with your
pair of Bird Dogs.
You will not take these things off.
I promise you.
Are you guys prepared right now for what I would say might be one of my favorite circling back headlines of the year so far?
I'm seeing this for the first time, and yeah, I'm ready for it.
A man in Poland wielded a knife and fled to the woods, refusing to give up his beloved but illegal pet puma
when officials from the zoo
tried to retrieve the animal last week huh he was not ready to give up his puma no um
i get it pumas are tight well i i mean in order to get a puma like you probably have to go through
some like pretty annoying steps and so when when the zoo is like hey we need this thing it's like nah you just take out your knife and you just point it at
him yeah yeah i just wear my pumas um pretty much everywhere though oh man this guy had was doing
the social media thing too what what was the ig with the videos of them playing oh man and they
just took that man's puma like that you know the difference between a
puma and a cougar david are you gonna tell me i'm not exactly sure geographical but i think it's
there's no difference a regional difference in the name same damn cat really i can tell you this
they'll both fuck you up in the octagon oh no there's no doubt there's no doubt i'm not trying
to take one on no you're not it's a It's a mountain lion, right? Same thing.
It's all the same shit.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I think it's just geographical.
We get this wrong every time, but I think we're right on this one.
This says the police conducted an extensive search for him that mobilized more than 200 officers
before Mr. Stanek finally relented on Sunday, turning over Nubia to a zoo in Czorzow,
a city in southwest Poland not far from where he lives.
Dude, if I'm a UFC fighter from Poland, I am going to become the Polish Puma.
Oh, that's tight.
That dude's going to punch you in the face hard.
Yeah.
And scratch you.
So at least they didn't kill the Puma.
You know, like a cat would.
Well, I don't think they were going to kill it.
I think they were getting it so they could take care of it.
Like, if that's here, the authorities are not going to tr kill it. They were getting it so they could take care of it. If that's here,
the authorities are not going to trank it.
They're going to off the damn thing.
Is there a conclusion to the story?
Did they obtain the cat?
They got the cat. The cat has been
obtained, unfortunately. Do you know who the cat's
playing with today?
Bryson. Practice round.
I saw Big Cat playing with
JT's, getting
tips from JT's dad the other day and it just
bummed me out. Really? Yes.
He was playing a practice
round with Justin Thomas and Justin Thomas'
dad and apparently his dad was helping him look at
his swing and stuff. His dad's a PGA pro.
I know, I know, but I just don't like the fact
that, I feel like Justin Thomas, even if
he doesn't say it, he walks around like, yeah,
I'm friends with Tiger Woods.
It's like, shut up, dude.
Hey, T-Dub.
Hey, what's up, T-Dub?
Hey, T-Dub.
Oh, all right.
You all ready for this?
No.
This is from HowStuffWorks.com.
Did you know that the cougar holds one of the Guinness World Records for having the most names, often called the cat of many names?
It's referred to as the Puma, Panther, Mountain Cat, Mountain Lion, Mountain Screamer.
Dave?
That was you.
That was you and Breckinridge.
Painter and Catamount, just to name a few.
Wait, didn't you say in Breck that you wanted to go find some Mountain Screamers?
I don't recall saying that.
What were the last two?
Catamount, I already closed it out.
Okay.
A Catamount was one of them
a mountain lion
yeah
a mountain cat
and a catamount
mountain cat
is so much worse
than a mountain lion
name wise
well the name
that they gave it
the cat of many names
that's a trash nickname
in itself
cat of many names
like that's not
an intimidating nickname
but there also is a
note in here that says it's based on where they are located is the different names so if you see
one of the mountains like i'm gonna call it a mountain lion you know i'm saying you feel me
what why not a mountain screamer dude i'm gonna start calling them mountains do they really even
scream oh painter was the other one paint painter and and Catamount. Painter. A painter.
I don't know, man.
I'm trying to see if they're going to allow this dude visitation.
Can he go to the zoo and be like, Hey, man, I'm going to get 30 minutes with Puma.
Come on, man.
I'm confused why this guy...
I don't know the gun laws in Poland.
I don't know how strict they are.
But I feel like if I'm going to go with my cat into the woods
and protect myself from 200 police officers,
a knife's not going to do it.
No.
You need some heavy artillery.
I'm reading that only 2.5 civilian firearms
are per 100 people in Poland.
So it's the 166th most armed country in the world.
Dude, they're just asking to get invaded.
Oh, don't do a World War II joke like that, Dave.
I didn't even reference that.
Yeah, what?
I'm just saying, isn't that the argument for everybody being armed here?
They took some heat during...
It really wasn't.
I apologize.
I apologize.
She's at a zoo? Yeah. Okay. During. Who really wasn't. I apologize. I'm a,
this day.
Do we,
she's at a zoo.
Yeah.
Okay.
Nubia has found herself at a zoo.
Okay.
I mean,
I don't know what's worse.
I don't know the condition she was in with,
uh,
Mr.
Stanek or Stonic,
if you will,
but hopefully they take care of her and hopefully he gets to go see her,
and, you know, just go scratch her head every now and then.
Hang out with his mountain, or, what was it, screamer.
I wonder what he feeds her.
Good meat.
Probably Impossible Burgers. We learned that it costs a lot to feed a big cat from that Tiger King fella.
Yeah.
How much does it cost?
A lot.
I don't remember.
Like a lot, a lot?
Six figures.
Enough to where he was buying old food from the grocery store.
Old meat.
I just tried to bring up a video of this happening.
My computer just completely did not work.
I tried.
I'm sorry.
Are you looking at the New York Times article?
Yeah. Yeah, I'm looking at it too. Yeah too yeah well I was trying to bring up the video there's a video in there of him actually playing with his puma and I was going to show it so we could get
some you know perspective on this one time Dylan sent me a video of him playing with his puma yeah
I was like what the fuck what that entail oh no it's like what man you mean to send this to me
that's your problem dude you're the one who did it.
I mean, if the authorities are coming to take Randy from you, Dave,
are you hiding in your backyard with a knife?
Well, I'm not going to go in my backyard.
There's really nowhere to hide in my backyard.
Why would they take Randy, though?
Like, if he, like, mauls somebody?
Oh, yeah.
Good point.
Oh, no.
You've got to get through me to get to him.
That's 100%.
Oh, yeah.
Like, you're going to have to take me down. Still me down still as my family shoot me with the tranquilizer you got a fucking
door in your neck that was that old school all right remember that let's just become a movie
quote podcast you're crazy man that's dude man sick dude that yeah that's just so good
great another great performance from sean williams dude that is a great role for Sean William Scott.
What?
I bought some Nike short tights to wear under gym shorts when I work out.
Like compression shorts?
Yeah.
No one calls them short tights.
I couldn't think of the name.
or gym shorts when I work out.
Like compression shorts?
Yeah.
No one calls them short tights. I couldn't think of the name.
And now all I'm getting served at the top of this New York Times article
is just dudes.
It's just like straight-up dong shots, basically,
of these white combat shorts.
I think these ads are getting a little cocky
with how blatant they are about just...
Eavesdropping?
Yeah.
It's getting very egregious at this point
the other day i said to sally that we needed to re-up on some body wash
and i got in bed after saying that like five minutes later and there was an ad for it on
my instagram the axe effect i was like dude what why it's creepy five minutes yeah did i buy the body wash from the ad of course i
did it actually made it kind of convenient for me but i'm still going to complain about it
this happened to me over the weekend because parks and i we made we attempted to make
tie-dye t-shirts and before dallas and i were texting about it how did you not document this
yeah i took pics did you what pics. I have so many questions.
You said you attempted.
What t-shirt did you tie-dye?
His mom brought us
because we were quarantined for seven days.
So she brought us a box of
blank white t-shirts
and all the dye.
And the instructions on how to do it.
So you didn't do a Wilmot shirt?
They just didn't look awesome.
Why didn't you do a Wilmot shirt?
We need photos of the...
Imagine Dylan just walking into the studio
wearing a tie-dyed shirt.
We'd be so caught off guard.
Yeah, we made four.
Two for me and two for Parks.
But his turned out better than mine.
But none of them are very good.
Anyway, the point I was making
is that we were texting about tie-dye.
You going to Bonnaroo next year bro I got served ads for it
like all the next day
it was weird
like tie dye t-shirts
were you googling like
how to tie dye
no
what
okay
you just knew how to do it
I texted
no it came with an instruction
oh okay
little booklet thing
gross man
yeah
it's not as easy as
you might think.
You're the last person I would ever imagine tie-dying shit.
Yeah.
Well, I did it for Parks, man.
I'm trying to be a dad over here.
Are you going to start playing Grateful Dead albums for him, too?
Yeah.
If he wants a summer job, we could have him washing dishes at Wilmot's.
I think he's five.
I think there are laws against that.
Yeah, he'd probably be offered a lot of drugs there, too,
so it's probably best if he stays away.
Yeah, in that kitchen?
Oh, man.
Yeah, we smoke meat, but we do it in a little different way, you know what I mean?
Oh.
Not really sure what that would entail.
You smoke that.
Yeah, no.
You burn that kill.
Rigged up your Traeger to just.
It doesn't burn wood pellets.
It just burns kush.
Hey, do you want to come in for the guest chef night that we're doing next week
and do your sausage wraps?
I'll celeb shot it.
How'd your sausage wraps turn out last night, David?
You know, I told you before.
They were great.
Well, actually, it was only one sausage wrap.
We did buns before, but I wanted a second.
We ran out of buns, so I had to use that tortilla.
Oh, I thought you were actually just doing it.
No.
Okay.
Okay.
Maybe I'll tweet it out.
Or maybe I'll save it for the next air fryer giveaway on the live stream.
I'll vote for it.
I mean, I can't imagine a better meal.
My distaste for sausage wraps has done more for the notoriety of sausage wraps
than pretty much anybody in the world.
It's shocking how many people aren't familiar with the art of wrapping a sausage
in a tortilla.
I just sent you all my
the finished product of my attempt.
Oh, dude, you killed it.
That's not awful.
One of them's not terrible.
The huge one?
Yeah, that one was not supposed to look like that, though.
That's the thing.
It just turned out, like, not awful.
One of these looks like you skinned the Chick-fil-A cow.
None of these actually, like, look like they'd fit Park.
Like, Park's going to have to put on a lot of weight in order to fit in these.
For some reason, the two on the left, those are the Park's ones.
For some reason, they look huge in this.
I don't know why, but those are Park's size.
He's just wearing
baggy ass shirts he's wearing like the the taz the taz shirts that are real baggy he's probably
a little big on him he's a little fella anyway we're not talking about this anymore is he just
listening to string cheese incident playing call of duty and shit right now i don't even know the
reference come on dude the thing about string cheese incidents that's an incident with uh
string cheese what was the incident an incident with string cheese.
What was the incident?
What happened?
Like someone slipped on it or choked on it?
What happened?
Not sure.
Not sure.
Don't look at me.
I can see Dylan being the guy that eats string cheese, just like taking bites out of it instead of doing the strings.
Just like, dude, why would I waste my time?
That might be me, honestly.
Dude, that's weird.
Yeah.
I rarely eat string cheese.
I think it's just there. I don't care about it. It's not great. What kind I rarely eat string cheese I think it's just there
I don't care about it
It's not great
What kind of cheese is string cheese?
It's string
I don't think it is
It comes from string cows
I don't think string cows are a thing
That's so stupid
Oh, mozzarella
You play too much
Man, cheese whiz
Remember that stuff?
Is it really mozzarella?
Some of them are
Some of them are, yeah.
Yeah.
Cheez Whiz went hard for a while.
I would just put that on pretzels and call it a day.
I loved it.
I like to put Gorgonzola on pretzels.
Don't get me started on pretzels, man.
You don't like pretzels?
What a trash snack that is.
No, it's a great snack.
Shut up.
They're dry and tasteless.
A Rolls Gold?
Get out of here, dog.
You don't like pretzel crisps?
I don't like anything pretzel, dog.
You don't like peanut butter filled pretzels?
Unless it's like a big-ass hot pretzel with some brown mustard or something.
I mean, that's more bread than pretzels.
Exactly.
Shut up.
All right, what's Johnny Football doing?
I don't know, dude.
This pretzel thing has got me flustered.
I hate Dylan's take on this.
I do not stand this take.
That's okay.
It appears that he's pivoted, so he's no longer doing the CFL thing.
I think he officially announced the football.
He's officially out on football.
Football is in the rearview mirror for tennis football.
And he's seamlessly transitioned to what
appears to be
sick-ass golf trips
with the lads.
Johnny's sick-ass golf trip is his new nickname.
Yeah, man.
I guess he's becoming
an amateur golf influencer.
What does his squad look like?
He posted something something this may not
have been it may not have been a golf trip but for the fourth he was in west hollywood with
chandler parsons and some other dude solid chandler parsons who i don't think is ever
going to play basketball again but did get absolutely paid that was my next question um
but yeah he was i mean he's like he's doing the instagram post tagging tay he's doing the Instagram posts, tagging TaylorMade, doing the hashtag twistface, hashtag she gone.
This is just classic golf guy on the weekend stuff.
And then last night he dropped something.
He's at, I don't know where this course is.
I think it might be Indiana.
But Victoria National Golf Club.
It's just him in a robe walking around barefoot just ripping cigars.
He unwinds on his drives.
He's got a good swing.
He's got a good move on the ball.
Oh, yeah.
Looks like he slipped on that on drive.
Yeah, right?
He piped it, though.
Full vibe.
Is he going to archive this when he wakes up today?
He posted this nine hours ago, which means he's definitely still asleep because he didn't go to sleep right then.
Oh, absolutely not.
You know how I know he's still asleep?
He posted some videos of that shit he used to do where he's kind of talking and singing and rapping into the camera.
Yeah, that's one that you wake up from and just regret it.
Full vibe.
Yeah, that's one that you wake up from and just regret it.
Full vibe.
So he's got... His bio just says Cactus Hack Golf.
What is that?
I think it's a company that he's definitely got some type of investment in.
It currently has 420 followers on Instagram.
Oh, I got to say, their logo is not the worst.
It's not the best.
It kind of looks like a tech startup logo to me custom footwear apparel and accessories let me say this good for him i'm happy for him
but i gotta say so he's posting from his victoria national golf club which appears to be in southern indiana
and one of his posts says
i'll tell you very shortly sorry he's he's singing in the camera again
one of his posts says something like once in a lifetime trip and i'm like uh it's indiana
oh be careful dude randy's right out there look i like randy's Indiana. Oh, be careful, dude. Randy's right out there.
Randy's not going to be happy about this.
Look, this course does look absolutely sick.
But once in a lifetime experience,
I feel like you're going to have a chance to go back to Indiana.
Indiana's not on any bucket list.
You're not in Dubai.
As the days go by.
Here comes Indiana. Here comes Indiana.
They're coming for our throats now.
And you may find yourself.
I mean, I feel bad.
Waiting on a shotgun start.
That's good.
You could have said.
There's a couple ways.
Shotgun shack.
I feel like there could be.
There's got to be shotgun shacks at like golf courses, right?
We have to be careful with Indiana.
I don't want to make Randy cry.
He's probably in there crying.
He cries a lot.
When we tell him that he has to take his Chicago Bears poster
off the wall in the Twitch room,
he's not going to be happy about it.
He's going to be standing in a puddle.
It's a cool poster.
He's just going to have to put it somewhere else.
He's got to put it back in his dorm room.
I'm going to get a Barry Sanders fathead and just replace it.
Oh, yeah, that'd be tight.
Dude, I am pro fathead.
As many fatheads as y'all want to get, let's go.
I want to get a custom fathead of just me.
Let's get a custom fathead of Johnny Football in a robe
wrapping into an Instagram Live story.
No.
He gives me anxiety.
Why?
Because he's one drunk post away from just making a huge mistake.
Dude, he's just going on golf trips now.
That's all he does is go.
He's just in the middle of a pandemic, just going course to course,
once-in-a-lifetime experience to once-in-a-lifetime experience with the lads.
There's a lot of rich dudes that are just doing that.
Rich dudes are just going on golf trips during this,
and we're just sitting here podcasting.
Yeah, your boy Drew's buddies.
Dude, don't even get me started.
Do they just exist in a different dimension?
I don't know. I'm jealous.
Every weekend, there's like 12 of them.
They're just like, oh, yeah, we're in Scottsdale.
Then it's like, yeah, we're in San Diego.
Yeah, Del Mar.
Like, what?
You know, doing the stay-home thing?
I mean, you guys are going to be saying this about me in two weeks
when I'm in Michigan just playing golf every day.
You're going to hate me.
No, that's – it's not as egregious.
You're not doing a squad trip, unless you are.
Are you going with, like, 20 dudes and just not inviting Dylan and I?
No, no.
It's not a – actually, yeah, I'm actually going up there for my bachelor party,
but you guys didn't catch an invite.
Sorry. That would be the worst. guys didn't catch an invite. Sorry.
That would be the worst.
Sucks to suck.
Yep.
Us.
How pissed are you guys going to be when I just have my bachelor party in Austin?
I will be so pissed.
If I have to play a 102 round of golf.
Oh, if I did it in Austin, it would be during a winter month where it's like cold.
It's borderline like too cold to go play outside.
We can just go to Topgolf. I'm having my bachelor party at top golf near the domain dude let's go just eat some apps get trey kennedy
sorry do you get let's get trey kennedy there be good time we can't afford trey kennedy at this
point do you see where the dude perfect guys are? Speaking of Instagram sensations, YouTube sensations.
I don't know if I can say what they're doing,
but let me just give you this.
I think Jimmy Buffett.
Oh.
Because that week is coming up.
They might be doing a little filming for that.
They're in Florida.
Okay.
That's why they were on the PJ.
They took a piece.
Well, I wasn't sure where they were going
because then Chad posted a TikTok.
Chad has just the sneakiest big TikTok following of all time.
106,000 last time I checked.
And yeah, it was a Phil doing the flop shot over Phil.
And I was like, wait, are they at our spot in San Diego
at the whatever?
I don't even remember what it was called.
The Callaway.
Callaway Center for Performing Arts.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh, yeah.
He must have been in Florida
because they're there to film...
It could have been a TBT as well.
Yesterday was Tuesday.
I did see a lot of sharks
in one of their Instagram stories.
A lot of sharks.
Any minnows?
No minnows.
They need to do a hippo week.
Hippo week.
It's a dangerous animal.
It's the most dangerous.
How do you play sharks and minnows in the pool?
Dude.
You have the shark with his back turned.
He's outside the pool.
And right, the minnows try to get to the other side.
Oh, you have to creep over.
Yeah.
You got to creep, dog.
But if you take a peek and no one's gone anywhere,
you got to take a big step the opposite direction.
So it's the same as categories.
But you just...
It's similar to categories.
Categories just has an extra layer to it.
Maybe I'm thinking of categories.
I will say that Sally's nieces, I love them to death.
They're great.
But they always want to play Marco Polo with me. Dude, we played with them at your wedding dude i hate playing marco polo i just don't like playing
i don't like shutting my eyes and having everyone laugh at me that i can't find them it's like this
why is this scrape your arm on the side marco polo kind of yeah i like hit my knee up against the
side of the pool it's like dude this isn't fun will ran right into the filter fucking idiot
will will i got his hand stuck inside the filter because we, fucking idiot. Will, Will. Got his hand stuck
inside the filter because we told Don Fito
it was a sandwich. We're all getting out of the pool
and just running around and Will's falling into the pool.
He's gonna get lured into the deep end.
All the fish were out of the water.
Fish out of water. That's what it is.
Fish out of water. We're playing Marco Polo.
We put a shark in the pool. Dude, I was always out of the water.
People would cheat and run around. I was a big time
cheater. Fucking dickhead. I could see Bam Margera actually putting a shark in the pool. Dude, I was always out of the water. People would cheat and run around. I was a big-time cheater. Fucking dickhead.
I could see Bam Margera actually putting a shark in the pool when they're playing a game
with people.
That's something that they would actually do.
Like a little black-tiped shark?
Yeah.
Not one that would ruin your life and take your leg off, but definitely one that'll take
a chunk out of your leg.
I'm Steve-O, and this is The Shark and Minnows.
Yeah.
With a real shark.
Yeah. I'm real shark. Yeah.
I'm Steve-o.
I love Steve-o.
He's sober, man.
Shout out to Steve-o.
Hey, shout out Steve-o.
I'm Steve-o,
and this is the box jellyfish
on my wiener.
I think my favorite
Steve-o moment
was when he got the tattoo
in the off-road vehicle
while they were off-roading.
I mean, that's kind of tight.
It's funny.
Yeah.
It didn't turn out great.
No, it was really bad.
The best is like, so sober Steve-O, and he still wants to do this stuff, but he looks
way more beaten down by it.
They're like, all right, you're going to sit here.
And then what was the one that actually hurt him where he had to walk across a balance beam?
And they were swinging these flaming balls at him.
And if he fell, there was metal that had coals on them.
And the metal heated up.
And it actually gave him awful burns because they didn't think it through.
In retrospect, he like it was in
retrospect like it was just he knew it was not going to end well damn he's been sober for 12
years now good for him that's great that's a long time pager shouts yeah dude
okay they need to bring rake yawn back he was he was like my least favorite
he he like had he just looked weird he looked sketchy he did
should we talk about quip real quick yep not sketchy at all that quip the opposite
big fan of quip as you know some of our morning or evening routines have changed recently and
that's impacted our oral care.
You know, we're getting all this stuff delivered to our doors.
Why not toothbrushes, guys?
Why not toothbrushes?
Not just any toothbrush.
A really dope toothbrush.
Yes.
It's got the sensitive sonic vibrations that let you know that you need to change quadrants of your mouth.
30-second pulses.
It's huge.
And when they deliver stuff to your door, you get everything.
You get some toothpaste, some batteries for it.
You just get a whole new set.
Do you like the mint or the watermelon?
See, I actually haven't tried the watermelon yet, but I'm in on this idea.
I'm always a mint guy normally.
I am too, and I was skeptical, but the watermelon, it's refreshing.
I need to go in there and figure out how to change my settings so I can get a watermelon tube.
Yeah.
You bitch.
I mean, I literally just said I wanted to.
Like, I feel like you don't need to come at me like that.
Right, I'm sorry.
As you guys know, good health starts with good habits,
and Quip makes it easy by delivering all the oral care essentials you need to brush and floss better.
Dylan, floss, Dylan.
I floss.
Okay.
The Quip electric toothbrush, like I said, has timed sensitive sonic vibrations
with 30-second pulses to guide a dentist-recommended two-minute routine.
And there's even a size-down version for kids, a.k.a. the homie.
Wow.
I heard Dave taught him how to brush his teeth, though, so he actually does it right.
I was like, dude, you got to do circles.
I was like, dude, you got to do circles.
And you can get Quip brush head, toothpaste, and floss refills that are automatically delivered on a dentist-recommended schedule
every three months for just $5 each.
A friendly reminder when it's time for a refresh
and to stay committed to your oral health.
And guess what?
Shipping's free.
I love free shipping.
It's the best.
Free shipping gets me all the time.
It's the cherry on top.
So if you go to getquip.com slash circling back right now,
you get your first refill free.
That's your first refill free at getquip.com slash circling back.
That's getquip.com slash circling back.
Quip, the good habits company.
You guys see what this bar in England did?
Or I guess a pub.
This is news to me.
This is crazy.
I saw this this morning and I was like, you know what? I'm kind of in on this. This I guess a pub. This is news to me. This is crazy. I saw this this morning, and I was like,
you know what, I'm kind of in on this.
This sounds tight.
Yeah.
You know what?
Don't take a whiz on it.
English pub owner installs electric fence
to keep customers at a safe distance.
To, like, pins for everybody to stand in?
I don't know.
Man, I feel like if that's what you...
Just don't go to the bar.
Yeah, it's...
Maybe just pour one up at home.
I'm kind of bummed about this.
So this happened in Cornwall,
and I have two friends that just went to Cornwall
for a little vacay out of London.
Where is Cornwall?
And I'm pissed I didn't have them go do recon on this
so they could see this in action.
It's a very southern, southwest part of England.
Is that where Cornwallis was from?
It's hard to say.
You got to think so.
What about Cornholio?
I am Cornholio.
Dude, there's nothing funnier for about a two-year stretch than Cornholio.
Dude, I watched me some Beavis and Butthead, man.
He needed TP for his bunghole.
He did. Yeah. That's what he needed. He's Cornholio. Dude, I watched me some Beavis and Butthead, man. He needed TP for his bunghole. He did.
Yeah.
That's what he needed.
He's Cornholio.
That's why.
So this says businesses have had to embrace social distancing during the pandemic and
perhaps none more so than the English pub, which installed an electric fence to keep
thirsty customers at bay.
Johnny McFadden, like, dude, be more UK than Johnny McFadden, who runs the Star Inn in
St. Just Cornwall, told CNN that he
installed the electric fence in front of the pub's bar for social distancing purposes.
Quote, it's a very small pub.
The first and last, oh, this is a tough word to say, rural pub in Cornwall.
Dude, you crushed it.
Had I known that that word was in this story, there's no way I would have brought this up.
So the fence is outside the bar, not inside the bar.
Okay. So like stand in line here, wait to get in? Well, there's no way I would have brought this up. So the fence is outside the bar, not inside the bar. Mm-hmm. Okay.
So, like, stand in line here, wait to get in?
Well, this photo is confusing me.
The photo is not populating on my screen.
It's tough.
I think my computer's about to just off itself.
Yeah, I think that...
Wow.
Yeah, that seems...
Like, should we talk to it and, like, maybe get some counseling for it, dude?
I kind of just want to let it, because it's had a good run.
Dude, get a new lappy. It's time.'s time oh man my right leg just fell asleep like that
sorry come over here doing a stranger no i don't even know wake me up please wake up my leg
the guy the guy who holds the bar said that uh he wanted to put up some rope or chain to make
the custom make sure the customers kept back from the staff at the bar,
but he couldn't find suitable equipment.
He said, I thought this was going to keep them, the customers, back.
So instead he opted for the fence to see what it does.
I don't think electrocuting your customers is the best way to get them in.
Are you minting?
Yeah, this is not going to end well.
Have you ever gotten shocked by an electric fence?
Oh, yeah.
It is not fun.
Don't take a whiz on the electric fence.
Remember that.
So we lived next door to a farm that just had crops and stuff.
And they had an electric fence so that people wouldn't go in and steal the stuff.
And my parents left town.
I think this was actually the same party where my buddies drank the giant bottle of champagne.
But everybody at the party just got drunk and then just went up
and they started having contests of who could grab onto the electric fence the longest.
And I was like, dude, this is not a good idea.
But at the same time, I didn't stop anybody from doing that.
It is not. It hurts, man.
Dave, there was a Mythbusters episode about peeing on electric something, a fence.
Probably.
Yeah.
And you can't really get shocked that way.
Dude, be careful with myth busters.
Dude, they bust myths.
No, did you hear...
You haven't heard about the accusations against Adam Savage.
Did he get me too'd?
No, I mean, kind of.
Wait, one of them just passed away, brain aneurysm.
Really?
For real?
Yeah, it was the guy who came on like two or three seasons in.
Gross.
Adam Savage.
Adam's the guy, he's got like the not great hairline, kind of scruffy beard.
He's the guy that I recognize more.
He got accused of sexual abuse by his sister way back when.
He's adamantly denied it, but I was like, man.
But why would your sister do you like that?
That's a myth he'd definitely like to bust. I hope they bust it yeah you guys know my story at the electric
fence right from when i was a kid oh here we go i was on a i was on a trip to an island with uh
some scientists leading scientists in the field of like archaeology and stuff biology whatnot and uh
our vehicle we're taking a tour of the park. It broke down.
And, like, nobody knew what was going on.
We were just like, what the fuck?
And we were climbing. What happened next?
I was climbing this big, big fence, electric fence.
And as I'm climbing down, I was, like, scared to jump because it was very high and I was really young.
Somebody flipped the breaker and turned the power back on the fence and it shocked me.
I flew off into the arms of this hunky scientist fellow.
Really?
Wearing a hat.
Yeah, he's a real alpha.
I ended up surviving, but the rest of the trip, we had dinosaurs running after us.
It was really fucking weird.
How have we not heard this before?
It seems like something that you would have laid out a long time ago, man.
I don't really like to talk about it.
Dinosaurs involved?
They've been extinct for millions of years.
Yeah, it was pretty cutting-edge technology.
You might have seen it in the news.
They've had some other issues.
How did they obtain the DNA for the dinosaurs?
Mosquitoes that were trapped in tree sap.
No shit.
Billions of years old.
Probably millions.
It's amazing what they can do these days.
It is, yeah.
Dinosaurs. probably millions it's amazing what they can do these days it is yeah dinosaurs we need parks in here for this conversation did you ever get to the bottom whether or not uh so our friend ted in pittsburgh sent me a video from jurassic park and i thought
it it solved it for us but it turns out there's no actual evidence of him climbing the ladder.
They're all females at the park.
I should say she.
Yeah.
Are they all females?
I haven't seen that in a long time.
Yeah, so they can't mate themselves out in the park.
Anyway.
They can't mate themselves.
They can't mate with each other themselves.
You probably mate yourself a lot.
They mate themselves all the time.
What are those?
What was I saying?
It doesn't matter.
We need that button on there.
We need the what are those Jurassic Park theme.
Say no more, fam.
That thing will just pop into my head randomly.
I'll be walking around the house just saying, what are those?
You have no idea how much Jurassic Park goes on in my house.
I've got a pretty good idea.
The kid loves dinosaurs.
I was too.
He plays, on PlayStation, he plays a dinosaur game.
It's Jurassic World Lego.
And it's tight.
And he's good at it.
What are those?
So we can't figure out if they can we can't figure out if they can uh get in there or what no we need uh we need chris pratt to weigh in or something i really don't know okay where's
everybody staying on chris pratt i'm a fan i like him i like him too yeah i'm fine with him like i
don't know yeah he seems like a good guy i like that he kind of came out of nothing to become a big star.
I enjoyed Jurassic World.
It might be because I was high in a movie theater, but I did enjoy it.
The second one stinks.
Okay.
There's a third one, right?
Probably.
The first one's the best.
You sure?
Jurassic World yeah
yeah
what's the one where they try to weaponize
the velociraptors
that's the second one I think
that one was super trash
they created the endoraptor
that one was trash
I think
I think I saw that one
I just like the first one
because Jimmy Buffet was in it
yeah
oh
grabbing the marks
anytime you get Jimmy Buffet in there
it's a good time
you know what man
you've inspired me
and by proxy mainly Micah. And by proxy, mainly
Micah, but you by proxy, I'm going to buy that
margarita machine. Dude,
I will say this, David. Be careful
Googling them because if you click
onto a margarita machine on Amazon,
they will send you an email every
single day after until
you buy one of those margarita machines. I delete
an email once a day.
It's like a three
thing system of margaritas. It terrible i'm just gonna have to disable cookies
yeah you could do that why do why am i always accepting cookies you're the cookie monster i
don't even know what cookies are when i accept them i don't know what the hell a cookie is just
accepting yeah give me all the cookies, why do these websites need cookies?
Dylan used to eat Cookie Crisp as a kid.
What's that?
It's a really shit cereal.
What's that?
It's one of the worst cereals of all time.
Cookie Crisp.
It's not one of the worst.
Is it just a bunch of small cookies and milk?
Yeah.
It's just not a good breakfast.
No, it's just pure shit. Why are we giving this to our kids?
You may as well give your kid ice cream for breakfast.
Oh, man.
I'll eat ice cream for breakfast.
I don't give a fuck.
That does sound great, doesn't it?
You're crazy, man.
I bet there is an ice cream breakfast delicacy.
Probably.
It sounds European.
What are we even doing?
What was the story about the electric fence?
Yeah, just close your bar.
It's that big of a fucking deal.
Yeah, I've heard better ideas than that.
Why are you shocking your customers?
Like what?
Imagine you just sip in an IPA and then boom, you're taking like a thousand volts.
I don't think, like they actually put it around the actual bar,
not like the establishment, but the bar.
Like that doesn't make sense to me.
This is like how at Wilmonds, instead of shocking the customers,
you just blow smoke in their face.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All of Wilmonds is a smoking section.
The only thing that will shock you is how good the deals are.
There you go.
I'm going to open a rival bar in Cornwall called the Cornhole.
Cornolio.
We got boards out back.
Got some horseshoe pit.
Throwing some shoes.
Are you okay with opening a bar in a rural area?
A rural area?
A rural area.
No, actually I'm not.
I've never been to England.
I still can't fucking say it.
Rural?
Rural area.
Rural area.
We had a lot of trouble in spooky season.
That almost tanked spooky season.
That's the one thing we could improve upon for next spooky season.
People weren't happy about us.
Rural.
People wanted us to say rural.
Just tripping over rural. What a dumb word. It. Rural. People wanted us to say rural. Just tripping over rural.
What a weird, what a dumb word.
It's a stupid word.
Let's just say remote.
Just say country.
It's in a remote area.
Remote's better.
Remote's a little bit more intellectual.
Rural.
Rural.
Rural.
Rural.
We don't wear masks in these rural counties.
Oh, man.
Should we do This Weekend in fun presented by Vizzy?
Vizzy, Vizzy, Vizzy.
There's all these times in my life
when I just have so many choices in front of me
and I'm like, man, I don't even know what to do.
But luckily, Vizzy
has created something extra that makes our
choice easier. They stand by having something
that all other hard seltzers don't.
An antioxidant vitamin
C. Can I bring everyone's attention to our subreddit real quick?
Why?
There is a thread on there about Vizzy,
and in that thread people are talking about how it doesn't give them a hangover.
One person said it, and then everyone is piling on being like,
Oh, my God, yes.
This is a true testimonial.
Go to our subreddit.
Not us.
Something to do with the vitamin C.
I don't know.
The super fruit in there.
It's called acerola, Dylan.
Yeah, I know.
It's a super fruit with 30 times more vitamin C per cup than an orange.
And Vinci's the only hard seltzer crafted with that and antioxidant vitamin C.
Think about that.
Think about that.
That's a great combo.
It's acerola drinking season.
There are plenty of hard salsas to choose from,
but with four bold and refreshing natural flavors and antioxidant vitamin C.
Vizzy makes that choice a little easier, and it's a lot tastier.
Pineapple, mango, black cherry, lime, strawberry, kiwi, blueberry, palmy.
You know that they're all fire.
These are torch.
They're torch.
I went to the store yesterday.
Not this store.
I went to the gas station yesterday, and I was like, you know what?
I'm going to pop in and see if they have any Vizzy,
because for the last two weeks, it's been an empty slot in their thing.
No Vizzy.
Guess what?
Yesterday, they had some.
And I did something nice, because I already have 12 just sitting in my fridge at home.
I left it there for somebody else to go buy.
That was dumb.
That was truly heroic of you. No, you should have copped. Some for somebody else to go by. That was dumb. See, that was truly a relic of you.
No, you should have copped.
Some people are calling me a hero.
Some people are.
They're legit,
like, very, very good.
Legit.
I've got 12 in my fridge right now.
You don't have to tell me.
Go crack one.
After tonight,
there might only be 11
in my fridge after tonight.
You're going to have one?
Mm-hmm.
Oh!
Mm-hmm.
Well, it is happy hour tonight.
True.
Damn.
Forgot it was Wednesday.
It never hurts to add some vitamins or antioxidants into the mix.
And with Vizzy, you can enjoy refreshment now with vitamin C at 5% ABV, 100 calories, and less than one.
Yes, I said one gram of real cane sugar per can.
Every sip of Vizzy is more exhilarating.
Upgrade your hard seltzer with Vizzy to find out where you can purchase.
Go to VizzyHardSeltzer.com. Go to VizzyHardSeltzer.com.
That's VizzyHardSeltzer.com.
Must be 21 or older.
Dylan, what are you doing this weekend?
Great question, Will.
I'm going to continue to play it safe with the old pandemic looming overhead.
I'm doing nothing.
Cool, man.
Absolutely nothing.
I'll probably have a couple Vizzys, honestly, and just chill. You just chill you're just gonna tie dye some shit and smoke some weed and just chill out
um i will not have parks friday so we'll do something fun watch it get a get a movie off
do some popcorn and apple juice something like that you know is that a new fizzy flavor that
i'm not familiar with yeah yeah it's it's not alcoholic for kids popcorn and apple
juice sounds um yeah nothing man i'm just i'm just gonna lay low at the crib pretty much it
might might go to the pool our pool's open like i mentioned sounds like you're gonna get all sweaty
and jump in the pool get a pool i'm gonna shower first though you're definitely not going no one
ever does.
Unless Dave didn't say that.
You weren't in a shower before jumping in that pool, dude.
No one does.
I'm going to at least consider it.
I'm going to look at the shower.
You're going to see who's there watching.
Maybe I'm going to turn you on.
But I don't know.
What?
You're going to do what?
Turn the shower on.
Are there going to be mommies at the pool?
There are some mothers there usually with their kiddos.
Oh, yeah?
By the way, alcohol is allowed at my neighborhood pool.
Isn't that wild?
Love that.
People are just like a fucking lituation.
When you tell them to bring coolers and post up, it's pretty cool, man.
Are you allowed to have guests?
You need to roll in with Parks' Yeti coffin.
Just dragging that thing in there.
Can you imagine?
Just have Parks emerge from it?
Someone who's his five-year-old son in a Yeti coffin?
When you guys were quarantined, did you just fill up that cooler for Parks to swim around in?
Do laps?
Why was your son on ice?
Those Yeti coffins, I see how it can make sense for some people to own one of those,
like hardcore fishermen.
But my God, what an excessive item let me
see what the biggest yeti cooler is it's the coffin i feel like we need one for this it's
twelve hundred dollars so you can lay down why did we buy randy a desk when we could have just
gotten him a yeti coffin it's a storage thing and a desk oh you're talking about the tundra 350 marine
cooler yeah so this is for dudes who like go game fishing, right? Yeah. This is to throw your mackerel in there.
Or hunting. They put meat in there or whatever.
Dude, I love a good $1,300 cooler.
I mean, it's
excessive.
How long is it? I think if you're like
5'6", you can legit lay down inside it.
Something like that.
I wouldn't know. I'm not 5'6".
What are you trying to say? I'm saying we could put Alyssa in there.
She's not a vocal fighter. I don't know why she's catching strays tonight. I'm just trying to think of someone who'm not 5'6". What are you trying to say? I'm saying we could put Alyssa in there. She's not about 5'6".
I don't know why she's catching strays tonight.
I'm just trying to think of someone who's about 5'6".
It's 63 1⁄2 inches, Dylan.
So you have to be 6'3 1⁄2".
No.
Five feet is 60 inches.
Yeah.
That's what I said, dude.
So 5'3".
Dude, that's what I said.
5'3". It'll fit's what I said. 5'3".
It'll fit 259 12-ounce cans.
That's a lot.
That's a lot.
I wonder if that includes ice.
Yeah, like with ice?
This is their specs.
I'm literally looking at the specs.
Dude, let's just get one for the office just to flex.
Dude, we can't.
The item is currently not available.
How about this? Dylan, don't worry, though. I'm signing you up right now for flex? We can't. The item is currently not available. How about this?
Dylan, don't worry, though.
I'm signing you up right now for it.
Please don't.
I'm signing you up to get notified for when it is available.
Do you guys know the Yeti story?
No.
What is it?
Ever fallen through the lid of a cooler while standing on it
to cast just a little further or while loading kayaks in your
truck can't say that i have as a cooler ever dropped on your toe because the handle snapped
under the load of an albacore tuna also has never happened to me does your cooler look a bit like
frankenstein with a mix of uh chandlery and home center hardware and a little duct tape did i say
that word right again no if you answered yes to any of these questions you have something in common
with the founders of Yeti, Dylan.
Wow.
How are those things vouching for a cooler at all?
I just wanted to keep my shit cold.
Dude, it's bear-proof.
I don't need to stand on it while reeling in an Albuquerque tuna.
I'm just trying to drink a cold Miller High Life or Vizzy.
How many times has a bear gotten in your cooler, though? Think about it, because these are bear-proof.
Has that been proven?
I feel like there's some bears out there that can get into they take a ton to 35 and put like raw meat
and throw it out and throw it out in front of a bear and see what happens you give a bear enough
time he'll come back with some c4 and he'll detonate that shit this is like the commercial
for like the the i don't even know what it is glue or tape or something and the dude's he's on the
water in like a clear boat yeah yeah like what is
that oh it's a it's the screen that he he paints over with that that black like gooey tar substance
like why don't you just like use a regular john boat yeah i don't need to do this yeah why why
why is your boat completely clear it's just weird dylan was known for the glass bottom boat in
college yeah oh man i thought you called it the ass bottom boat.
Stop.
Stop.
Do you remember you could go on a glass bottom by the Ocarina Springs?
Of course.
I've done it.
You've done it?
I never did it.
It's tight.
I mean, it's not, but.
The glass is the bottom.
The bottom is made of glass.
So you can see.
Wait.
Hold on.
So glass bottom boats have bottoms made of glass.
Right.
I didn't think about that.
That doesn't make sense, but.
Glass bottom girls, you make the rocking wheel go round.
We got to get on the boat and ride.
What are we eating?
I don't know.
You want to know more about Yeti?
Yeti's all about living the salt life.
That's not in there.
This is not spongebob.
That's not in there.
They do live.
This is for guys who live salt life.
Clay Flounder is going to text us like tomorrow.
If you. No, those are actually really practical if you're out there ripping lips.
I want to hear from a Yeti coffin owner, and I want to know how they use it.
So reach out to us.
Yeah, where are all our Yeti coffin owners at?
With pics.
I want a pic.
With your salt life sticker on it and Grateful Dead, whatever you put on those.
Yeah.
Ducks Unlimited.
No Ducks Unlimited. No Ducks Unlimited.
Those just go on the back of your F-250.
Or just like your shitty truck.
The amount of dudes that just have it on.
It's a free sticker.
You just sign up for an email list and all of a sudden you're a club member of Ducks Unlimited.
I just texted Clay to see what the biggest Yeti he owns is.
Oh, please have it.
Please have a copy.
If he has a copy.
You realize it would not even surprise me because he is the dude who like.
If he sends back a photo of him laying in it like a selfie,
I'm going to lose my mind.
I got to tell you something, Will.
I don't know if.
Oh, don't do Clay like that.
Oh, he knows I play.
I play too much.
Oh, man, that's funny.
You do play too much. Dave, man, that's funny. You do play too much.
Dave, what are you doing this weekend?
I'm probably going to Dylan's pool if he would ever invite me.
Come through, dog.
I will.
I'm serious.
We would.
Yeah, come through.
My wife would love to go to a pool.
The invitation is already on the table.
Every day, we go out in the backyard, play with Randy.
I'm grilling, doing whatever, making sausage wraps.
Well, and the neighbors behind us, they've got like a dope pool situation.
Kids are doing cannonballs, listening to, you know, classic rock.
And I'm just like, man, I want to poop in that.
The only negative is because of the COVID situation,
they have removed all tables and lounge chairs.
They want people congregating.
So wait, what do you have to be in the water basically? So you're just sitting on pavement?
There's like a bench that's built into the
scene there that I... Okay. We'll just drop
our stuff by and it's shaded. It's tight.
Can you still mouth kiss your homies? Oh yeah.
Okay. I would invite you to our pool, but we're
not allowed to have guests currently. Yeah.
They're not even open on the weekend. Are you
sure yours has guests?
I don't... There's probably a rule, but people link in there all the weekend. Are you sure yours has guests? I don't.
There's probably a rule, but people link in there all the time.
I'm not really.
What are they going to tell you don't link? There's like a high school kid working at the gate.
What is he going to say to me?
I'll whip his ass.
Yeah, I'll put him in a headlock.
I'll Nolan Ryan his ass.
He's like, well, you're the TFM guy.
Dude, dorm, man.
Say, fuck you.
Dude, fuck you, yeah.
Dude, I love what you guys are doing, man.
Over at Washed. How do y'all make money on those dude you're 16 just make sure no one drowns in here calm down
can you get me a wilmont shirt can you get me a crop top dude my girlfriend really wanted one
but we had to cancel her order yeah i don't really have any plans um i'd uh i pulled up the accu weather earlier and i was
just like man maybe maybe we'll get like one of those you know not a cold front but just a little
front that comes through and it drops it like four or five degrees just gets it to where it's
not 102 so you can actually like maybe go outside for more than two seconds friday 98 saturday 97 Two seconds. Friday, 98. Saturday, 97. Sunday, 98.
Monday, 99.
Tuesday, 99.
So I just don't think golf is in the cards.
No, it's not.
I would love to play golf.
And it's so humid, too.
That's the problem.
Probably watch a lot of golf.
What tourney is this weekend?
It is the Memorial.
Ooh.
That doesn't mean anything.
I think we got Cat, Brooks, and Rory in a group tomorrow.
That's a strong group.
That is.
Why were people online complaining about these groups?
People be complaining, that's why.
I think maybe some people wanted Bryson to be with Brooks because they're beefing,
but don't force it.
Maybe don't force it if you don't have to.
Yeah, let them both shoot to the top of the scoreboard
and put them in a group on the weekend.
Don't blow your load too early.
I don't know, man.
I got no plans.
I'm going to probably grill something.
Oh, I saw Meat Church posted a really good barbacoa recipe today.
Is that similar to Cowboy Church?
It's just like that.
It's where your meat goes to worship.
Just like that.
It's where your meat goes to worship.
But yeah, I might do some barbacoa this weekend.
Wow.
Maybe I'll bring some to you, Dylan.
Damn.
Teach you a little something.
Teach me, dog.
I'm ready. I've never gotten the gift of anything.
So just let me know.
Hey, Will.
We give you the gift of friendship every day, though.
No, you don't.
What?
What are you talking about?
I need you to give me the gift of living closer. don't live that far i don't live that far no but
the parking situation at your place if there's not one of the spots in that little garage it is trash
it is just such a pain yeah but even if there is like i mean there's a there's some asshole
who just parks his like jacked did i send you a photo of that truck you told me or sent it to
dude one of the biggest trucks i've ever seen and he lives at our place but he parks in visitor parking and lately he's
been parking in a handicap spot i'm not that far from just getting him towed just to make a point
that's so scummy dude but you can't even tow his truck out of there because the second it gets like
a couple more inches like lifted on it there's no way it's getting out dude let's go steal his
wheels that guy stinks he comes out no one but he stinks dude it's it's the out. Dude, let's go steal his wheels. That guy stinks. He comes out. I don't know him, but he stinks.
Dude, it's the biggest
asshole thing in the world.
The fact that no one else
at our apartment
has said anything about this,
I'm just shocked.
We need to, like,
he needs to come outside
and walk up to his truck
and it's just sitting on
like 30 cinder blocks.
Let's do it.
Wait, is it a Raptor?
No, it's not a Raptor.
I have the photo somewhere.
It's bad.
I thought about dragging him
on Twitter,
but I didn't really have like a fire caption
for it. So I laid off.
Anyway, what is his affiliation with the
apartment? He lives there.
He thinks he could just park in handicapped. Weird.
Are you sure he's not handicapped?
There's no handicapped thing in his truck.
Wait, he's driving a jacked up truck.
Maybe his handicap is that he just has a giant
penis. It's true.
It's true. You can't have a handicap.
You can't be – no, here we go.
I tried to find it, see if I could find it on there without being the guy that just goes up to his truck and looks,
but I didn't see any handicap sticker there.
I want to see Will, like, you know, just kind of casually look it up, try to see, like, not get caught.
Have you seen the guy?
No.
I get really – I get, like, unjustifiably mad about how people park.
No, I do, too.
Dude, maybe his truck is so big he can't fit through, like, the other part of the garage.
Hey, that's probably what it is.
Hey, butthead, get a different truck.
Yeah.
I'm not defending you.
I know.
I'm just saying.
If you have a big-ass truck like this, maybe don't live in an apartment.
Maybe have, like, a house in the country where you actually have to use your damn truck.
You need to be somewhere more rural imagine
choosing to customize your truck in a way that you can't use garages yeah like the dude the dude's
rolling coal on the way to his fucking project management management job downtown at some tech
startup it's gonna fail in two years like those like those tires probably stay on pavement 100%
of the time he's not off-roading anywhere never seen a spot of dirt on this thing he's not towing
anything there's no better feeling than when you're going downtown to a ball game,
like a Mavs game, and you have to park in the parking garage.
You're like, oh, dude, is it going to make it?
Oh, dude, oh, dude, your antenna's popping.
It's such an unnecessary thing to do to your truck.
The dude thinks he's driving Gravedigger out here.
It's like, dude, you're not in a monster truck rally.
Just figure it out.
There are guys out there who are like, sometimes you need the clearance.
That's why you get a lift.
Like, no.
No, the worst is the dudes
with Jeeps that have the snorkel
coming out of the top.
It's like, what?
Oh, you're going underwater
that much, dude?
Like, dude,
you're not doing anything.
Yeah.
What are you doing, dog?
Like, you don't need a snorkel
on your Jeep.
A snorkel?
Like, what?
Are you driving through, like,
seven feet of water?
What are you doing?
Like, if you're doing that much, like, don't get a Jeep.
Like, dude, I want to bop with my boys in the Jeep
spraying gasoline on each other.
Like, don't.
You're not actually doing manly shit in that thing.
I know a buddy from Duncanville, which is not rural,
and he went to tech for, like, one semester,
came back from Lubbock, and he had, like, a brush guard on his truck.
Oh, dude, yeah dude yeah man you never know
yeah I remember yeah I had a truck in high school and people were like why don't you get a brush
guard it's like I don't drive through brush I mean what brush are you guarding it from I don't
need I don't need it going out to the field kick some kegs around man you need a ranch and bumper
on this thing like I don't though I just go to class my buddy had a uh a winch on his on his jeep on the
front and i think we used it once to pull out somebody who got stuck mudding and i was like
man that was probably like a 900 deal don't know why you don't want know why you thought you needed
it i think they're more than that are they they probably are for a decent one i'm thinking about
getting a snowplow put on the front of mine just Just to put out the vibe like, yeah, I'm from Michigan. That would be sick.
Actually, a snorkel.
Dylan, they might be cheaper than that.
Please show me when someone has used one of those snorkels, like actually needed it.
I just want one example of it.
You should get one on your new Bronco.
I kind of want one.
Quite literally everybody on my timeline wants one.
I have a question about your car, Dylan.
Does your car have the functionality where the back gets rolled down?
Oh, yeah.
Dude, I love that.
That's how I load groceries, dog.
Really?
Oh, yeah. It's tight.
I'm so jealous.
I saw a nice-looking bird dog hanging out the back of one of those the other day,
and I was very jealous of the owner and everyone else involved.
Yeah, it's cool. It's a cool cool sitch it was a nice little situation riding behind
that for about two miles just checking out that dog just enjoying his life yeah let me say this
i i said the other day that if i ever get you money i will be buying an old vintage
land rover discovery okay that i know is is trash but looks tight if anybody here is selling
one or knows somebody who's selling one and can get me one
at a significantly discounted rate, let me know.
And by that, I mean, like, take whatever they're going for
on the internet now and cut that in half.
Let me know.
Dave's just looking for a free one.
If you want to get rid of it, I will pay for shipping.
I'm looking for a used golf cart, by the way.
I might know a guy.
Just buy one, dude.
You know, Clay, they're not cheap.
They cost as much as, like, cars do.
I'm not kidding.
You're going way too hard on this.
Dude, you can get one that's, like, a 2003 that's, like, three grand.
What's the closest golf course to your place?
I'll get you one for the same price as a tee time.
Are you just going to steal it?
Yes.
Just tear ass out of there.
Just looking back like, I don't know.
I don't think that happens.
I'll bring my knife.
They're not cheap, man.
I'm telling you.
But I want to take parks to the pool, for example.
Just cruise the hood, man.
You can't run?
It's a mile. He's five. You can't run?
It's a mile.
He's five.
He can walk a mile in my shoes.
Do you guys even care what I'm doing this weekend?
No.
I thought you already did it.
Never do.
What are you even doing?
Dude, I don't even know.
You're not doing anything because you're going to Michigan in a week. No.
Yeah.
Well, so we've just been using Sally's parents pool, which, I mean, Dave, we could chat.
Ooh, I've got options.
We could chat.
We've been doing that.
It's been a nice little reprieve from everything.
So we might go out there Saturday, but Sunday, you know Sunday's for the footy.
So many games on Sunday that are meaningful.
Saturday, MLS games?
No, no MLS games.
We're not watching MLS right now.
I'm out on Vancouver.
You know my team, FC Dallas, is just not in the tournament because of COVID.
Oh, that respect.
Yeah, I bought my Vancouver shirt, so I was going to go all in on Vancouver Whitecaps.
Are they not in it either?
No, it came in and it doesn't fit, so now I'm just not a Vancouver Whitecaps fan anymore.
And let me guess, you don't want to send it back so you're just going to keep it because
it's a pain in the ass?
A hundred percent.
Yeah, in my eyes,
I'm like,
dude, I'll just lose like five pounds
and I can wear it in like a year.
No, but we got
just massive schedule.
Dylan, if you want to like
watch with me at 10 a.m.,
we got Tottenham
versus Leicester City.
Dude, I'm there.
We could really use
a Tottenham win here.
They're trying to ride
the momentum off of their
Arsenal win the other day,
but we'll see.
You're telling me.
And then we got some
FA Cup action at noon.
Chelsea versus Man U.
Pulisic. Your boy,
Dave. I watch Pulisic.
Should be a good game. These two are fighting out for a Champions
League spot. This game doesn't matter
for that, but it should be a game between two
teams who want to beat each other right now.
Should be very exciting.
Other than that, I'm not doing anything. There is
talk about doing some fillets this weekend. I'm not sure
if that's going to happen pre-weekend or mid-weekend,
but I would like to get some fillets off.
Let me say this.
You should do fillets.
Fillet me.
I'm a big fan of the Sunday steak.
Yeah.
See, we never do steak on Sundays.
Oh, you're not, Dylan?
We're more of a pasta family on Sundays.
Ooh.
Okay.
Yeah.
Rigatoni.
Rigatoni.
Brett had a real trash pasta take recently.
What was it?
I need to find it.
I don't remember this at all.
Yeah, I feel bad dragging him while he's not here, but he's going to have this bad of a take on the timeline.
Hold on, he's here.
What's up, man?
He crushed that.
Let's see.
Yeah, no, I think so.
The fact that I'm going to his profile right now and control effing for pastaverse just tells you everything you need to know about bread.
Wait, he used the word pastaverse?
I feel like I did see this tweet.
It says Rotini doesn't get nearly enough credit in the pastaverse.
And then I didn't even know what Rotini was until I looked it up.
Yeah, what does it look like?
It's the pasta that is just like really hardcore spirals.
It's like what you would put in a pasta salad.
Oh, okay.
No, no, that ain't it.
It has its place, but it's definitely not a top-tier pasta.
It belongs.
It's a cold.
It's a cold pasta.
It gets the exact amount of respect it deserves in the pasta-verse,
which is that we don't know what it is.
Which is very little.
But if it's in a pasta salad, I'll eat it,
but I'm not going to go to the store and be like,
oh, man, I'm craving some rotini.
Here's the thing, though.
Here's a big question I have.
Pasta is all just the same shit, right?
Yeah, it's just different.
Different shapes?
Different textures, Dylan.
I mean, not really.
Really?
Depending on how you cook it, though.
I mean, pasta is all the same shit.
It's like Tex-Mex.
Am I wrong?
Tex-Mex is just all the same.
You're just like a certain shape better than the other one.
That's the only difference.
No.
Like angel hair and penne.
Penne?
Penny?
No, but angel hair is much different than a bucatini.
No, I'm saying it's the same substance.
Like, they have different functions.
I get it.
But it's the same, like, if you get down to it.
Look under a microscope.
It's the same shit.
I mean, I guess.
I'm just saying, man. It might be. Who knows? who knows so dude everybody's made of the same adam this is what my
brain does nucleus think about someone did note under his his reply under his tweet said that we
need to give him back the wooden take pistol for that should we uh should i hit him with like a
quote tweet right now and he'll be like oh god what what are they doing he'll know he'll know
he's being talked about oh it's not it's actually not a terrible take it's not a it's it's a fine take it's an
interesting one to put out there but i respect it i just want to know what pasta or what pasta
salad caroline made in order for him to like have the tipping point of sending that tweet that's a
fair because that that must have been some fire pasta salad.
Thanks for asking, Will. Yeah, I just want to give a quick high school sports minute.
Big shout out to Duncanville's
own four-star, Kendrick Blackshire,
who decided to, is it Blackshire or Blackshire?
Nobody knows. Decided to commit to
the Alabama. As a 35-year-old
man. Yeah.
He looks very mature. The number one
inside linebacker in texas uh just
an absolute unit towards acl didn't play all of last year and they still had the number one defense
so it'd be scary this year uh going to bama shout out just i mean you know man just another you know
duncanville kid doing big things just like me har Harbor Springs High School just hired a new full-time coach.
What's his name?
Was it Duggs?
Last name, Vandermoose.
That's a good name.
Trust me.
You don't fuck with the Vandermoose family.
They're badasses.
I loved it.
What if you got Klein a job, his first coaching gig in Harbor?
I feel like I could be an assistant coach on the staff
knowing nothing about football just because they might just need some bodies there.
I would definitely just get a high-crowned visor
that had Harbor Springs written in cursive on it.
Just get deep into the stats.
Just be pure analytics.
Don't even know the game.
Just be like, well, look here.
The numbers say do this, so let's do this.
I think Northern Michigan football is pretty much just like give it to the fastest kid
and hope that he can break through.
Makes sense.
Mm-hmm.
Should we get out of here?
This is one of the most derailed episodes I've ever experienced on this podcast.
Honestly, I think it's one of our best.
Yeah.
There's people saying that.
Yeah.
Even though they haven't heard it yet.
There's a reason you don't have fettuccine Alfredo with like angel hair spaghetti.
No, I know.
I get that.
They have different functions like i said but it's still but it's still the same stuff just in different
shapes it's almost like you didn't even go to italy let's get out of here yeah what's your
problem dude prego say bye you