Circling Back - Just One Beer & Weird State Foods
Episode Date: August 19, 2020The Wall Street Journal confirms our "just one beer" mentality, Fisher-Price released a "work from home" toy set for toddlers, a spotlight on random "state foods" from every state, unwritten rules of ...Circling Back, and This Weekend in Fun presented by Vizzy. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (16:00) Unwritten Rules of Circling Back (21:11) Just One Beer (36:10) Fisher-Price Work From Home Toys (53:18) DNC Rhode Island Calamari / Random State Foods (1:07:35) This Weekend in Fun presented by Vizzy Liquid IV: www.liquidiv.com (CIRCLINGBACK for 25% off anything) Birddogs: www.birddogs.com (STEAM for a FREE face mask) Quip: www.getquip.com/circlingback (FREE refill pack) Vizzy: www.vizzyhardseltzer.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge my name is will to
freeze to my right dave ruff good morning how's everybody doing top of the morning to you david
um i normally don't like to finish the optimizedize Cold Brew before the pod, but I did today.
So what I'm saying is be on the lookout for me to escape a little bit early.
I'm about to just make you stop drinking coffee before you get in here.
You can't.
You literally can't.
I don't know what I answered on our previous question about who you'd most likely go on a road trip with,
but I don't think you and I would vibe on a road trip at this point.
Well, I would never invite you on one, so.
Dylan Chivary in the building.
If you want me to wake you up before every episode, I can just whip your ass before we record.
Replace that coffee.
What do you think?
I don't know.
I feel like it's going to affect my body differently than the caffeine would.
It'll wake you up, though. It'll knock you around a little bit.
Hey, guys. Glad to be here, too. How y'all doing? Good? I hope so.
Are you glad to be here? We've been on air for 70 seconds and you've already threatened to beat up one of us.
Yeah, that's a little immature of you.
I'm sorry. Um, I am happy to be here, though. I just feel like it's going to be a strong episode.
Just one of those weird feelings. I don't know why.
You know, sometimes they're all right, I guess.
What are we doing?
What are we here?
What the hell's wrong with you?
That's a good question.
I don't really know.
Maybe it's the Celsius I'm drinking that Brett gave me.
You know what?
Pretty good little drinks there.
They're going to be different.
It's pretty tasty.
I just don't understand all these drinks that come out.
They just need a lot of help on their cans.
I think that's a good-looking can.
It just looks like a hard seltzer.
It does look like a shit of alcohol.
They were like, oh, put a black top on that thing.
Oh, yeah.
Who in the meeting room, in the conference room, was like, hey, I think we should go with a black top?
They signed off on it whoever
suggested that so um i prefer my drinks to be fair did you see shido's drinking the what's
that coffee that you drink now death coffee or whatever oh death wish death wish out of new york
yeah i saw he was drinking it so apparently a lot it's making its way around the country to influencers like y'all. Yeah.
It's pretty strong, but it's not like, oh, wow, this is the strongest coffee.
I mean, it literally calls itself the world's strongest coffee.
Yeah, I don't know what it takes to make that claim.
It also says, warning, highly addictive.
Like what?
Are you noticing anything with it?
Because, like, I've noticed that your performance on these pods hasn't changed at all.
Like, it's still the same shit.
Actually, I finished a whole bag of it.
So I switched.
There's a loading phase.
This morning I tried a different brew.
Okay.
We'll keep looking out for better from you. I'm not on that death wish grind this morning.
I told you I'm on a journey to find the world's best coffee.
You all know that.
How are you making your coffee these days?
You just put it in the machine and call it good?
I'm a whole bean guy, so I grind.
Whole bean.
It's just drip coffee, which is probably not the – I don't know.
It's what I do.
It works.
You're going to have coffee hard-os telling you
that just doing it drip style is just not
going to be the move. You know what else?
Someone chirped at me
saying, oh, I bet you have a blade grinder.
What else is there?
Shut up.
I'm just grinding beans, dog.
What's the other way to grind? I don't know. You get out
a hammer and a bag and just mash them.
What else do you do?
I'm not trying to have a cup of coffee so I can get through my eight-hour day.
I'm not trying to have a full workday making my goddamn cup of coffee.
Oh, I bet you have a blade grinder.
Yeah?
Maybe I want to chop blades.
I truly did not even know there was something else.
I don't either.
Yeah, how else do you grind them?
So you're on a search for the best coffee bean in the world?
That's right, David.
I think I can help you out.
Is it the cat poop one or whatever?
No, it's actually my left fist and my right fist.
Is that going to help?
If you want to come over here, I'll end that search real quick.
Are there free refills?
Yeah.
It's bottomless.
Bottomless fists.
Are you threatening to beat they're beating me up dog why don't we just create our own coffee using beans that
aren't that good but we just call them really good and then we just call it the
drip just what's that called we label it white label for drip private label for
a label yeah well probably that's your drip brew only yeah yeah look at the
drip it has legs I don't know how we work for us because Dylan's old and he needs to get his drip up.
That's true.
It's very true.
There's nothing better than the coffee aisle at the grocery store where people are just grinding their beans.
It's consistently the best smelling aisle in all stores.
It doesn't even exist anymore in Central Market where i go because they it's all pre-done
when when i have parks and we wake up in the morning he always asks me like when are you
making coffee because he just loves the smell of it it's pretty funny it's the best part of waking
up wait till he tastes it and he fucking hates it death wish in your cup death wish no i'm not
doing death wish coffee's just coffee's great Duda writes something called like
there's nothing quite like
he wrote something about
a Folgers cup of coffee
no doubt he writes for Folgers
like that's very on brand for Duda
yeah I'm looking at
yeah his column from March
March 15th
2017
says a hot cup of Folgers truly is the best part of waking up.
Okay.
Yeah.
That sounds like Duda.
He's killing it right now.
He's off the grid.
He's never going to know we talked about him.
But he's on a walkabout.
He said, but me?
I'm a Folgers man through and through.
Sure, I'll head to Starbucks every so often when I'm feeling really fancy
and I've got a couple bucks burning a hole in my pocket.
But for my money, it doesn't
get any better than a hot cup of Folgers
French Roast. It isn't just coffee.
It's a way of life. It's blue collar for Christ's sake.
We've all been there. We've all been there.
Hey, hear me out.
We've all been there. Look, what I'm about to say
is going to be controversial.
Okay. What a lame going to be controversial. Okay.
What a lame way to start something.
Stupid.
Just to be clear, he did not start it with that.
No, Duda's actually a really good writer.
As opposed to everyone who starts their columns with, we've all been there.
I know that that's a sincere compliment that you just gave to Duda,
but it didn't sound sincere to me for some reason.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah, Duda's a great writer.
I know.
I brought him in.
He was like the most fun to edit.
Also the most nerve-wracking to edit
because you never knew
if you skipped over a sentence,
you never knew
if that was going to tank
the company or not.
Yeah.
We had some strong writers
that worked at Grand X for a while.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Boosh is a great writer.
Underrated. Yeah. Underrated.
Yeah.
Underrated.
You guys want some breaking news?
Yeah.
As of yesterday?
Mm-hmm.
So this is an old favorite.
So we're not the first to break this?
No.
But we might be the first podcast to break it.
Huge.
On the schedule for your Duncanville Panthers,
fall 2020 football schedule,
which is apparently still happening, is the IMG Academy,
the Florida-based powerhouse, perennial number one team in the nation,
who will be playing my Duncanville Panthers in Arlington, I believe, at Globe Life.
Don't know if fans are going to be there.
If they are, you know what? At Globe Life? Don't know if fans are going to be there. If they are, I'm going to – you know what?
At Globe Life?
Yeah.
The baseball field?
Okay.
It's either Globe Life or – why?
You got Jerry World right there.
Yeah, why the baseball field?
Are they going to do it at the new one?
Yeah, that's Globe Life.
It is?
That's Globe Life, yeah.
The Shed.
The Shed.
The Coleman Grill.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, Dave. Yeah, at Globe Life in Arlington. You have my attention. The Shed. The Shed. The Coleman Grill. Mm-hmm. Okay, Dave.
Yeah, at Globe Life in Arlington.
You have my attention.
October 7th.
If maybe I can get us some media passes.
Let's go Panthers.
Right?
Yeah.
I'm not going unless I have field access.
Dude, it's so fun having field access for a football game.
Yeah, that's why I want it.
It's just like, oh, yeah, these guys are significantly larger than me.
I got to go down on the field at the Big House one time,
and it was like the coolest thing in the world.
You did it.
I did.
I did.
Who did you see?
Like what team?
Oh, they were playing Penn State.
Which Michigan team, though?
I don't even remember, dude.
I didn't really even care about the game.
You didn't see Tom Brady holding the clipboard?
No, no, no.
This was way after that.
I was in my mid-20s.
Nice.
Yeah.
Did you have the thought when you were on the field?
Was it shoelace?
Yeah.
Was he quarterback?
Yeah.
Shoenice?
Shoelace.
Oh.
No, it was shoenice.
Yeah, he was just stomaching fifths on the sideline.
Why didn't you just tie his shoes?
I didn't get it.
I don't know. Just tie get it. I don't know.
Just tie your shoes.
I don't know.
I was a big shoelace fan.
He's still in the league or what?
I don't know.
You think he's tying his shoes now?
I don't know.
His legacy's always been tainted, though.
Because of his shoelaces?
No, because of the scandal in the World Series.
Shoelace Joe Jackson.
Oh, yeah.
Joe Jackson.
I forgot about that.
Right.
I forgot about that. They were paid off to throw forgot about that. Right. I forgot about that.
They were paid off to throw the World Series.
Right.
The Black Sox.
Yeah.
Randy knows about that.
Yeah, Randy just got excited about that.
Dylan, you wouldn't know this because you've never had field access,
but, like, Will, you can relate.
When you're on the field watching, like, a sporting event,
don't you just feel like everybody in the back is watching you?
Yeah.
And you're just like, you don't want to do anything lame.
Yeah, no one's looking at you, and you don't want to do anything lame.
You're just like, arms crossed.
I mean, to be fair, so Klein, our former intern, I mean, he had field access.
Did he quit?
A Texas game recently.
Former?
Maybe it was last season or the season before.
And I was watching him the entire time.
I watched more of Klein than I watched of the game because I wanted him to do something
stupid and allow me to take a photo of it or something.
Are you the one who took that picture of him looking up?
Oh, looking real snacky.
That's the best picture of him that's ever existed.
I know.
If that's not on his dating profile.
That was at DKR, I believe.
Oh, yeah. Which is where Texas plays. Yeah, I looked down. I didn't even know Klein was there. I looked down and I was like,R, I believe. Oh, yeah.
Which is where Texas plays.
Yeah, I looked down.
I didn't even know Klein was there.
I looked down, and I was like, oh, there's Klein.
What up?
What up, player?
Just sneaky getting access to cool shit.
Oh, hey, guys.
I asked me to call him.
He's like, what, are you taking pictures?
Good game.
He asked me.
He's like, dude, get a sick pic of me.
He's like, I got gotta get it for like the ladies
and i was like all right hell yeah he didn't do that he didn't come on can we get some programming
notes out of the way real quick sure first and foremost we're streaming on twitch tomorrow
midday usually we do our uh listener voicemail recording thursday morning and we will be
twitching shortly thereafter hopefully something special is going to happen between Dylan and I.
We'll see.
Otherwise, just go follow Circling Back across all social media.
Circling Back Pod on Twitter and Instagram.
Again, that is at Circling Back Pod.
Go give it a follow.
Leave a review and five-star rating.
I was actually going through some reviews this morning, and while they were good, I want more.
I want some jokes put in there.
You know, Micah will read literally any too much dip read
or review that's left.
He doesn't even find the good ones.
He just reads them.
He's like, good podcast.
Yeah, five stars.
Thanks, Micah.
He does do that.
You're kind of expecting one that's a little bit different.
Because he doesn't read them beforehand.
No.
Maybe he should start prepping for that segment.
What are you doing?
There actually was a couple good ones.
I'm going to pull it up right now and read you a couple just to inspire the people a little bit.
You guys ready for this?
Oh, yeah.
God, we just have so many.
Someone said DC rough equals WAP.
Okay.
Wait a minute.
Is that a slur in my Italian heritage? oh maybe spell it w-a or w-o
a oh that's the good one yeah you're safe what's the name t-port 1991 t-port t-port
t-man that sounds like something t-Man would say about me. I could see that.
Someone said the thing about the back is that it's circling.
My productivity has increased 69% since purchasing my Buddy I'm Working mug.
More than five stars.
How do you even measure that?
What's the metric there?
Have you heard the bad news about the Buddy I'm Working shirts?
What?
The color has been discontinued.
That's bullshit.
And so I need to get together with you, Dylan.
We can have a brainstorm session. We can maybe hop on the whiteboard, but we've got to trudge through some new colors. When it comes to colors, I'm just going to leave it up to you. Dylan's the guy to
go to. Oh yeah, I forgot that you can't see. We should have just never told them that they
discontinued that color. I never would have known. Just change it. MJF24578 left a review on August
5th that said, Kings, one-star review. And it said, get Micah off the pod.
Hashtag block him.
Wow.
He wouldn't have read that one.
No.
That's it.
I mean, there's more, but go make it happen.
Go make it happen.
Additionally, yesterday we brought back an old favorite.
The worst of on Patreon.
Patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast.
Go check it out.
We had some great stories yesterday.
Dude broke his ass.
It's one of the better ones we've done.
A dude on the bachelor party had to use a white Hummer as a getaway vehicle
to get away from a pimp and some hookers.
We're talking prostitutes, broken butts.
Hold on to your butts.
Four Loko.
Yep.
Just a wild-
A lot of Four Loko talk yesterday.
Just a wild-ass episode.
And then tonight we got Happy Hour Live.
I'll be honest.
I don't even know what the hell we're doing on Happy Hour Live tonight.
Ain't hard to say.
I'm going to be this guy.
I got Mavs Clippers at 8, tip-off.
So I'll be a hard out at 8 o'clock.
That's fun.
I will be the hardest of out.
Usually once the clock goes to about 8.04, I'm like, all right,
things are derailing right now.
Yeah.
Remember the first one we did was like two hours?
Let's keep it at a hard out.
No, the first few that we did, I remember having to come in one day
and being like, hey,
we've got to cut these a little shorter.
I blame myself because I was watching.
So KJ was partaking.
Maybe he still does.
I don't know if they're doing them.
Like, Saturday night live streams.
Our friend Jake was on there too, a bunch of those dudes.
And they would go for, like, three and a half hours on, like, a Saturday night.
And, like, I think Jake at one point passed out on the thing.
I hope I'm not exposing him,
but it's just like,
I was like,
Oh yeah,
that's what we got to do.
And it was like,
yeah,
we're good.
We can probably stop at like 55 minutes or something.
Yeah.
Less is more.
And I'll have one drink more on that later.
Okay.
Like later this pot or like tonight?
Oh,
I've got my,
my fridge is stocked with Vizzies right now, so just be on the lookout.
Can I also apologize?
I am in the midst of playoff.
I know.
Will and I talked about this yesterday.
I'm playoff privileged right now because I've got two Dallas sports teams
playing on alternating nights, but it's making me –
my adrenaline highs and lows, and it's affecting my sleep.
So if I am not bringing the heat, that's it.
You're just consuming too much sports.
Oh, dude, I feel so bad for you.
I know.
Your teams are having playoff runs.
I'm not saying I feel bad for me.
I'm explaining it.
They pretty much kicked all my teams out of their fucking leagues.
Like, come on.
Tigers are just getting wiped lately.
I don't remember the last time they won a game.
Rangers are the punchline of the MLB right now.
Yeah.
It's a tough team for them. Soft-ass dudes.
Can't handle a Grand Slammy.
God.
Grand Salami.
Grand Slammy.
Do we have any unwritten rules of Circling Back Podcast?
Yeah.
No intro for Dylan.
Mm-hmm. Man. Mm-hmm.
Man.
Mm-hmm.
I'm trying to rewrite that one.
Randy is just not allowed to talk.
Human Randy.
Oh, my God.
Those are the only two.
Somebody should compile a list.
This is going to be a new Discord channel, but unwritten rules.
No eating in front of Dylan.
He doesn't like mouth noises.
We shouldn't be eating on the podcast anyway.
No throwing cans into trash cans.
That's a good one.
At one point, didn't we ban ice at one point on Touching Base?
Yeah, it's because of Dylan.
Because everyone would just slug their drinks back and the ice would shake.
Yes, it was you.
Was it?
Yeah, it was at the vape house.
You were just clanking ice everywhere.
Oh, I was going hard on cold brew.
That's what it was.
Yeah, now you're a death wish boy.
It's weird that I do hot coffee in the hot months.
It doesn't make much sense.
No, but it makes sense, dude.
Nothing you do does.
People will drink
any coffee at any point in their life dylan hey man your boy loves coffee when it's time for coffee
just pour up whatever man because i need it i can't start my day without it wow they say the
best part of waking up it's death wish in your cup not really really a sponsor. No.
We still have yet to...
In the five years or however long
we've been doing this, multiple names
of a podcast,
we've never secured a coffee sponsor.
Nope. So if anyone out there works for a coffee company,
just let us know.
If I had put money on that, on one thing
for us to secure, it would have been a coffee sponsor.
And I would have been dead wrong.
Man, I tweeted asking for coffee recommendations, and I was overwhelmed with the response.
I don't even know how to sort through all the information I got.
And then everyone realized you were a blade grinder guy, so.
I still don't know what that means.
So you can fuck off.
Why that's a bad thing.
You can fuck off.
What's the other option, like dumping it into a wood chipper?
Like a stone grinder?
I really had no idea. Like a fucking pestle and mortar like dude shut up like what what the hell are you trying
to do i don't know man you gotta go to uh sharper image and buy what like the one that like uses
particle radiation for like i just bring my coffee to the cockpit and put it on my chinos
okay you don't you don't do that.
I do that.
You don't.
That probably wouldn't even grind the beans.
Jeez, dude.
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The good idea has our backs.
I mean, this stuff multiplies your energy as well as hydrates you.
Yes.
Tell me the downside.
What else do you need?
Half of Americans report that they struggle with daily fatigue.
Maybe they're all in a freaking playoff, a freaking playoff run, David.
Yeah, Dave.
Jerk.
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So I've been getting some pool work in, and I just bring a bottle, squeeze bottle, of liquid IV.
Wow.
I just sit it right there next to the side, and I go do my stroke, go down and back, and I'm out of breath, and I just squeeze some liquid IV in my mouth.
It's like MJ's magic stuff from Space Jam.
What's it called?
Magic juice or whatever?
The magic stick.
You just have liquid IV?
Right.
You could call the little sticks of liquid IV the magic sticks.
I got the magic stick.
Take me to the candy shop.
You guys know what this is blended with?
Premium matcha and green energy blend that tastes delicious
and provides a lasting boost throughout the day.
It's the boost that you'd get from one to two cups of coffee,
but without the crash.
I can tell you this.
They don't blend it with blades like Dylan.
No.
No.
Their technology is far beyond what Dylan has in his fucking kitchen.
Sorry.
There's even some ginger in there for the taste buds.
Ooh.
I love me some ginger.
It's also high in antioxidants to help improve mood and focus.
You could use that, Dylan.
You're not kidding.
You've kind of been a grumpy space cadet lately.
You're not lying, man.
Yeah, like the last 30 years of your life.
Okay.
Since he was 20.
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There's a study that came out
that's very beneficial to this podcast.
Are you guys aware of this study?
Oh, yeah.
I've only been tagged in it literally five times.
Per the Wall Street Journal,
meds should limit alcohol to one drink per day according to a new report. Otherwise,
mortality risks start to rise after half a drink a day. Put your ones up. So what they're saying is exactly one? Exactly. Are they encouraging us to drink every day? Yeah. That's one way of reading it, yeah.
At this point, I think if you averaged out my drinks, I think I drink less than one per day.
So I need to up my intake.
I definitely do.
So it used to be their guidelines said two drinks per day limit for men and women one.
And now both men and women are limited to one. Per the scientific report of the 2020 Dietary Guidelines
Advisory Committee, that's a mouthful. More than one there. When's the last time you had two drinks,
Dave? Couldn't be me. Like college? Never. College? I've never had more than one. Look,
we started this movement a long time ago. It all happened when I went to the store with a one-beer buzz.
It was the greatest grocery store trip ever.
What grocery store did you go to?
I want to say Central.
It was either Whole Foods or Central Market.
Were you one of the dudes that got the beer there and walked around with it?
No, never done that.
Oh, I haven't.
It's so much fun. I don't have the guts to do that.
Oh, I have.
I feel like a tool.
Okay, so question.
You walk in there.
Uh-huh.
Where do you get the beer?
At Whole Foods?
No.
At Central Market.
Oh, I've never done it at Central.
I've only done it at Whole Foods.
Oh, I don't go to Whole Foods.
There's a bar inside Whole Foods.
There's also a pour station in Central Market, but in order to get there, it completely takes
you out of the route that you need to take in order to hit everything.
I know where it is, yeah.
And so I don't know if you can just go up there and get one beer i i always see dudes i used to do all my grocery shopping on sundays before uh
covet happened because just because sundays are an absolute nightmare and i would always see like
just absolutely hungover dads just walking around with a beer in their cart just like
looking like they were licking their wounds heady ipA so what does this say like the risks are I mean we dying
Dylan yeah I know but like okay I see the word cardiovascular disease in here
or the phrase so I guess that's something to do with the heart which
I haven't read the article which you know how do you risk start to rise after
half a drink a day at which point any moderate gains for heart health are wiped out like so how if i have like so if i
drink one beer and then i have half of a beer after that you're fucked you're fucking dead
how many minutes does that take off in my life at least 100 maybe it says here that there's also a
greater body of research on the relationship between alcohol and cancer risk these days,
showing that alcohol does more harm than good in that regard.
Oh, who would have thought that alcohol just hurt your body more than helped it?
Man, I don't know.
I guess I've—this is mind explosion.
I had just one drink last night.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
I sat down, tossed on episode three of Yellowstone,
which I'm not as in on as I was before.
Here we go. Episode three?
Episode three.
It only took three for you to...
Well, I just...
I think they cram a lot into these episodes.
I'll put it that way.
But it's one of those shows,
you know those TV shows where you watch it
and it either makes you want to, like,
have a drink or like smoke a cig
or something
just because they look
so dope doing it.
Hell yeah.
Like watching Mad Men
it made me just want
to get drunk
and like smoke cigarettes
all night
and I didn't even
smoke cigarettes.
So like
Yellowstone was that
kind of show
so last night I sat down
and I poured a nice
little scotch.
I told Dave I've been
trying to have an initiative
where I drink more scotch
like late at night.
What is your scotch
of choice?
I'm going to mispronounce this because Dylan calledotch late at night. What is your scotch of choice?
I'm going to mispronounce this because Dylan called me out for it.
Glenmorangie?
That's right.
Morangie.
I have one bottle, and I've been enjoying it.
It's got a clean finish.
It's good.
It's a starter scotch, I'd say. It's a very strong, moderately priced scotch.
Oh, man.
You're going to trigger scotch guy.
Can't wait.
Can't wait. The only thing worse than coffee guy is scotch. Oh, man. You're going to trigger scotch guy. Can't wait. Can't wait.
The only thing worse than coffee guy is scotch guy.
Like, Dorn, that's a trash scotch.
Dude, scotch guy, but cigar guy?
No, I don't think anyone's...
Like, I think cigar guy is the guy that always wants to smoke cigars
and bring cigars.
Dylan.
But I don't think there's that many young cigar guys
who know that much about cigars where you feel like you're like... I don't know shit about cigars. They don't't think there's that many young cigar guys who know that much about cigars
where you feel like you're like...
I don't know shit about cigars.
They don't try to down talk you as much.
They just always want you to have a cigar.
Yeah.
God, Scotch guy.
I could see Dylan be a Scotch guy.
The first sip is so good.
It burns going down,
but it's like a comfortable burn.
How do you feel about mezcal?
I've often said that mezcal is the scotch of tequila or something.
They're very similar, if you think about it.
I drink it neat, mezcal.
How?
How are they similar?
Like the properties of each.
Like what scotch is to whiskey, mescal is to tequila.
He just hit us with that analogy.
It's like the Smokey brother.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Speaking of Smokey, we need to watch Friday for the stream room.
I thought you were going to do a...
Smokey Robinson
Smokey
By Felicia
That's a line from that movie
It is
By Felicia
I don't remember the last time I saw Friday
It's pretty funny man
I know
It's
Debo
Yeah Debo's terrifying Debo?
Yeah, Debo is terrifying.
Debo used to scare me as a younger man.
Well, I mean, that makes sense.
Congratulations on the scotch.
I'm just looking.
I'm trying to see here.
Do you do ice or neat?
I mean, last night I did a few cubes of ice. That's my answer.
I did a few cubes of ice last night.
Sometimes if I'm just having one and just trying to enjoy myself and mellow out,
I don't mind having it cut towards the end with a little bit of melted ice.
You didn't do the custom artisan ice cube block?
Dude, if one more person tries to give me a fucking whiskey stone as like a stocking stuffer,
I'm just going to
throw it at their face.
Whiskey stones are trash.
They don't really work.
No.
But the big sphere,
ice sphere,
is awesome
because it melts very slowly.
She's my little whiskey sphere.
But I just don't like
how it looks.
I like jangling the ice
a little bit, you know?
But it serves a purpose
because it melts very slowly
because it's just one big solid piece of ice.
Okay.
So when you get down to the end of it, it's less watered down.
That's the point.
I just think it looks stupid.
What?
I love them.
I think they're cool.
I went to a bar in Tulsa when Sally was grad—or no, I don't even know why I was in Tulsa.
She wasn't graduating in Tulsa.
I was in Tulsa.
Did you play Southern Hills?
No.
I watched Southern Hills, but they wouldn't let guests on when I was there.
Is that true?
Yeah.
That sucks.
Yeah.
So I just got to walk around it while the sun was setting.
What are you going to say about Tulsa?
I went to a bar, and I feel like he should have asked me before he did this.
Because I got a scotch on the rocks, and he gave it to me with the giant ball.
Yeah.
And I was like, I don't want this.
You didn't want it?
Man, they're cool.
Do you have one of those rubber things that you put in your freezer?
I used to have them, but when I moved, I left them in the freezer accidentally,
so I no longer have them.
Wow.
That's embarrassing.
Wow, the person that moved into your apartment was probably delighted.
Yeah.
They probably cleaned it up before they moved in.
They're like, dude, Dorn used to live here.
Yeah.
They're cool.
I'm a Glenn Livet guy.
Yeah,
you would be,
wouldn't you?
Glenn 12 is fine.
Glenn 15 is real good.
Sure.
I don't know anything.
Like,
I have never drank
like a,
such a nice,
or I have drank
a nice enough one
that like,
I'm sure people would be like,
oh,
that's a good scotch.
But like,
I don't know anything about it.
Also, the newest one I've been drinking is the Glenn Humplick.
Yeah?
Yeah.
It's stupid.
I don't get it.
It's stupid.
You know they had a falling out.
It's Tom Green's sidekick on the Tom Green show.
Oh. You don't remember Glennenn and he would just he just
just had him on there to berate him every show just it'd be like having jay bone having you on
as like a guest host that's kind of like us having dylan on kind of who's this glenn guy why is he
making so many scotches there's so many glens out there you're like a year away from showing up to
like work with like a glass with a giant ball in it and just cold brew.
I don't think that's going to happen.
Like Death Wish cold brew comes out and you're just pouring it over your fucking...
God.
That would be pretty insufferable.
Oh, yeah.
Do you know the difference between...
Could you tell me the difference between McAllen and Glenlivet?
No.
No. No. I mean, I can taste the difference between quality scotch and trash scotch,
or like a blended scotch as opposed to a single malt.
I think I might just ride for the blend boys out there.
Single malts are for just—
There are some decent blendeds.
The blended ones, they just take the single malt and put it in a Vitamix.
Do they hyper-decant it?
Nope.
You probably blade mix your scotch don't you
trash i want to chop blades what do we anyway what does chop blades well what we're saying
here dylan is have one drink a night quit drinking yeah i got it i'm fucking lush did we get did the
wall street journal reach out to us for comment no, and it's probably for the best since their stuff is behind a paywall,
and I haven't actually read their article.
No one's doing paywalls in this economy.
We literally do.
We literally do one.
No, I'm talking editorial paywall.
Oh, yeah, that's true.
Editorial's dying.
No one wants to read a thing about having one drink a night so bad
that they're going to just cough up cash.
Just make that free on your site.
It's stupid.
During the first couple months of the COVID global pandemic
here in the United States, I was probably drinking –
I was averaging one a night.
Now I don't really drink during the weeks, not to brag,
but I'm not really drinking that much.
But early on it was like, well,
I may as well become like a trash-ass craft cocktail guy.
So you're sober watching these playoff games?
Yeah.
What if the Stars go into OT?
You've got to pull one up then.
I know, dude.
I know.
The last two minutes of yesterday's game, which is a six on four.
See, I wasn't paying attention.
Oh, buddy.
Nerve-wracking stars at the 3-2 lead.
They held on?
Yeah.
Big.
It is big.
It's big for me.
And luckily that game, puck drop was at like 430.
So it ended with enough time for me to chill out before trying to go to bed.
It's the ones that they don't end till after midnight and then like oh cool i'm uh looking forward to a trash night
sleep yeah what you're talking about yesterday like when the lions never get a monday night
game but when they do i'm like man i don't want to have this adrenaline rush at 11 p.m on a monday
night probably getting our ass kicked either way so so I'm probably just going to be sad.
I just said yeah, dude.
God.
Oh, man.
Can we talk about Quip real quick?
Oh, yeah.
When's the last time you got rewarded for brushing your teeth?
This morning.
Yeah, the homie give you something, like a cup of coffee or something? My wife patted me on the back, like, good job.
Well, I got good news.
With Quip's new smart electric toothbrush.
Yes, I said new. Good habits
can give you great perks like free products, gift
cards, and more.
Potential, I mean, like,
new toothbrush.
New toothbrush alert. Dylan, can you
do the new toothbrush alert, please? New toothbrush
alert. New toothbrush.
You've heard us talk about Quip a million times, but this
is something brand new that rewards both you and your mouth.
The Quip Smart Brush for kids and adults connects with the Quip app with Bluetooth.
Dude.
Bluetooth speakers, out.
Bluetooth toothbrushes, in.
Next-gen toothbrush stats.
Dude, imagine using a toothbrush that doesn't have Bluetooth.
Can you say Bluetooth toothbrush five times fast?
Bluetooth toothbrush. Why don't we just call it a Bluetooth brush? That makes Bluetooth toothbrush five times fast? Bluetooth toothbrush.
Why don't we just call it a Bluetooth brush?
That makes it sound like it's a Bluetooth brush.
What is it, blue?
Think about it, Dave.
I'm going to paint mine.
I'm going to have Randy paint mine.
God.
Well, do you want to know what this new Bluetooth toothbrush does?
What does it do, Will?
The Bluetooth toothbrush tracks when and how well you brush,
and you get tips and coaching to improve your habits.
You earn points for daily brushing and bonus points for completing the challenges like streaks,
and you can redeem rewards for free products, gift cards, discounts from Quip and their partners.
How about that?
If you already have a Quip, fear not.
You can upgrade it with a smart motor and keep the features you know and love.
Sensitive sonic vibrations, 2-minute timer, and 30-second pulses for a guided clean.
And that always slim, lightweight, and sleek with no wires or bulky charger to weigh you down
with a multi-use travel cover that doubles as a mirror mount for less clutter.
A lot of people don't realize you can mount that thing on a mirror.
Stick it right up there.
I realize it.
I did it.
I didn't say no one realized it.
I said a lot of people don't.
Okay.
It's eco-friendly, that solar battery charger.
How about that?
Speaking of mirror, have you noticed-
I love a battery charger.
Have you noticed that the Q and the P and the logo are mirror images of each other?
Yeah.
It's cool how they did that.
It's pretty sick.
It's a good logo.
It's a great color scheme they have.
Yeah.
Clipster's overall a great company, Dylan.
That's why I use it.
They support us, and we support them.
Are you guys mint guys or watermelon guys with the toothpaste?
I'm a mint boy.
I still haven't tried the watermelon.
I like them both. I've tried them both now. I think I might'm a mint boy. I still haven't tried the watermelon. I like them both.
I've tried them both now.
I think I might be a mint guy because I'm just old school like that,
but the watermelon's a nice change of pace.
Parks is a melon guy.
Yeah.
No surprise there.
Yeah.
I love a good personal watermelon.
You ever eat a personal watermelon and someone comes out there like,
hey, can I get a slice of that?
And you're like, get your own.
Why do you call it a personal watermelon?
That's what they're called.
Really? Yeah. You go to the store and it's called a personal watermelon that? And you're like, get your own. Why do you call it a personal watermelon? That's what they're called. Really?
Yeah, you go to the store and it's called a personal watermelon.
Is it small?
I mean, what?
Yeah, it's smaller.
I've never heard of it.
They're smaller watermelons called personal watermelons.
It's like the personal pan pizza.
Yeah, I just talked to them.
It's like, dude, get your own personal watermelon.
This is mine.
Yeah, you're invading my personal watermelon space.
Join the over 5 million miles you use Quip and save hundreds compared to the Bluetooth toothbrushes.
Man, so fun to say.
When you get a Quip smart brush for just $45.
Start getting rewards for brushing your teeth today and go to getquip.com slash circlingback right now to get your first refill pack free.
That's your first refill free at getquip.com slash circlingback.
That's G-E-T-Q-U-I-P dot com slash circlingback.
Quip.
Better oral health.
Made simple and rewarding.
So a, uh...
How did y'all find this?
I don't even...
This was a Randy thing.
Randy found it.
Fisher Price has essentially released a DCO set.
Can I read the description?
Go ahead.
The description is outrageous.
Dylan, I hope you're listening.
Better grab a latte to go.
That report is due this morning,
and there's a call with a dog across the street after nap time.
With the Fisher-Price My Home Office set,
your preschooler is the boss of their own workstation at home,
a local coffee shop, or the moon.
No one's working from the moon.
Yeah, you don't see that.
Dave, what does this eight-piece set include?
The eight-piece pretend play set, Will,
includes a pretend laptop.
Thank you for clarifying that it's pretend.
I guess they have to.
That'd be devastating if you ordered this
thinking it was a laptop.
$25 laptop.
You opened it in a meeting
feeling like a total dumbass.
It's like that dog,
that golden retriever meme of the dog sitting at the computer.
Yeah.
Four fabric apps to attach
to the computer screen.
I don't know if that's how it works. A wood smartphone
and headset for all those important
business calls and a to-go
cup for kids to sip their favorite beverage.
Urgent call from the cat.
The busy business requires
immediate attention. This is like the Starbucks workstation starter kit.
You know?
It's stupid.
Like, the fact that it comes with a headset with, like, a microphone in front of it.
Is Parks too old for this?
How old is Parks?
I never know how old he is.
Parks is five.
Really?
Well, this guy sworn he was 16.
No, he is five. Really? Well, this guy sworn he was 16.
No, he's five.
You just walk into your living room and Parks has got his laptop and the headset on.
He's just like, buy, sell, buy, sell.
He's trading stocks?
Yeah.
He's pulling up like Portnoy Davey Day trader videos.
He's like, dad.
What stocks would Parks be buying, I wonder?
Chewy's?
Dude, he's been shorting a lot of stocks.
Cece's Pizza? Oh, he's been shorting a lot of stocks. Cece's Pizza?
Oh, it's really dumb, but funny.
You know what I'd do if I had that headset, Dylan?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Final.
This is ridiculous. Why is this smartphone made out of wood?
It sounds like a dumb phone.
Yeah.
That was good.
That was good.
Right?
You can now make Parks coffee, Dylan.
The apps that you just, like, I guess you Velcro onto the screen of your phone or something
or on the computer.
I don't know how it works, but.
Velcro?
Like, this is dumb.
Yes.
What would you,
if,
if parks open this for,
for Christmas,
what would he do?
Um,
I don't know.
He's not,
I don't know if he's into this kind of stuff anymore or,
or,
or ever was honestly,
he just wants dinosaur shit.
He just wants to,
he just wants dinosaurs and to kill dudes in Verdansk right now.
He wants video games and dinosaurs or dinosaur video games is what he's mostly into.
You guys want to hear a two-star review of it?
Yes.
This product is okay.
My daughter loves the way it looks and all the accessories,
but there's a problem with the computer.
It will not stay up as you play with it.
The slightest bump and it falls down.
This was very frustrating for my daughter.
They made the back like a picture
frame back. The product will be awesome
if they can find a way to make the computer sturdy
enough to touch the screen.
But the Velcro pieces put the
poorly worded, this is
trash. It sounds like your
daughter needs some... I thought it was going to say
we're having trouble connecting the laptop to the
internet or something like that.
Yeah, it's like some dad leaving a review. He's like, i can't figure out how to get an incognito window up on here
the screen won't change i can't believe the 25 fake computer doesn't work
this is so 2020 man gosh this is tight. Is it?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, and the other two-star review.
Fun for a short bit.
Computer very flimsy.
Does not like to stand up.
Velcro pieces were lost in one day because they do not stick on.
Well, that sounds like a you problem.
My kids lost interest playing with the set as a whole and now they just use the pieces for other things.
That sounds like a win-win.
It's a $25 investment. Yeah, like if they're using it for other things, why are you complaining?
How much fun is a fake laptop that doesn't do anything?
Like at least make some sounds or light up or have something on the screen.
That's the sound.
You get tired of that in five seconds.
Like, oh, so it doesn't do anything?
It just sits here?
I don't know.
Yeah, it doesn't look fun.
No.
Kids can't have fun no it's out of stock imagine being a kid and
being like seeing your parents come home from work just beaten down and sad every day and then
they're like here you can do it too yeah it's like this sucks yeah it's like i used to play
with dinosaurs and like dump trucks and stuff and now i just have to like do work spreadsheets
go type up your tps reports on this like there's a calendar, a graph, the weather, which it looks like it's sunny, snowy, and then cloudy.
Just a wild climate, wherever that is.
And then you can FaceTime on the phone with dogs.
I'm not sure if dogs know how to FaceTime or if it's really worth doing that.
They can't really talk.
Stella can't figure it out.
What's her deal?
She doesn't FaceTime, man.
Is there an add-on that
you can do that's like a like a bottle of adderall oh come on man maybe like something like a can of
dip that you just like a bottle of whiskey that you just put in the uh bottle of glenn this looks
like a how like part of a halloween, you know? Like, you could use that headset to make a funny costume for a kid.
Oh, hey, little Susie, what are you for Halloween?
It's like, I'm a project manager at Yelp.
I'm a recruiter.
Yeah.
I work for Google.
Yeah.
I'm in medical sales.
Everybody works for fucking Google.
Everybody's a recruiter for Google, but nobody actually works there.
It's all just recruiters.
All they do is recruit?
Yeah, like they have
more recruiters than anything.
What is going on there?
If quarantine's proven anything,
it's proven that
like a lot of my friends
I just don't think
have real jobs.
Like on Instagram,
like what are you doing?
Yeah.
Like you're not working.
You never work.
I mean, I don't know
if you could,
we have a real job
technically I guess,
but like it doesn't feel
like a real job.
How do y'all like
make money though?
Is it like a hobby?
What is that? Is that just the question that we field in Ubers every single time?
Pretty much.
I haven't been in an Uber in six months.
No.
No.
I miss just the awkward small talk of an Uber.
Yeah, I really do.
No, I don't.
I miss just talking with a guy who's been living in
austin for like his whole life and my whole life i mean like eight years last time i took one
he asked me what i did for a living i made the mistake of being honest
a stupid and he just talked about his youtube channel he's trying to get off the ground
and as he pulled into my neighborhood he started going like 20 miles per hour so he could extend
the conversation i was like dude just please get me home. I got stuck in traffic. This was probably late 2019. Got stuck in traffic
with a driver. And I also made the mistake of telling him what I do. And he let me know about
his SEO company that he was getting off the ground. And I was like, man, I just don't care.
Save it. If there's one thing I don't want to talk about, it's SEO.
SEO might benefit our company in some way, but it's not going to make any big waves.
Yeah.
And yeah, getting stuck.
And I was going from my apartment to the east side, so it was already going to be like a 20-minute drive,
and it just turned into like a 35-minute one.
And the worst part is that I made the mistake of doing what I sometimes do,
and I sat in the front seat with him.
Yeah. What's the most boring profession that we made the mistake of doing what I sometimes do, and I sat in the front seat with him. Yeah.
What's the most boring profession that we could just make up for Uber rides?
I'm just going to tell him I own a morgue.
Probably shouldn't answer that.
It might offend some people out there.
He's going to be like, yeah, I own a morgue.
Say accountant.
Dude, no, accounting.
I'm an accountant.
What if they hit you up?
Then they're going to be like, oh, so hey, what?
Oh, dude, I've been looking for somebody.
So I'm an independent contractor.
Yeah, I don't know how, like, with my regular job in Uber, I don't really know.
It's like, oh, man, now I have to do this to have taxes.
I'm thinking about you.
I'm going to have to convert this LLC to a limited partnership.
Oh, my gosh.
It's like me and Glenn, he's like sending me all his financials.
I'm like, I don't need them.
I just want to go home.
I have to send it to our corporate ones who are charging me out the ass for it.
Glenn's just saving money. I feel bad because he's driving Uber to make a little extra on the side, and I can't to go home. I have to send it to our corporate ones who are charging me out the ass for it. Glenn's just saving money.
I feel bad because he's driving Uber to make a little extra on the side,
and I can't afford to pay.
It's just going to be brutal.
Fisher-Price might be the most aesthetically pleasing children's toy sets.
Dude, they're fun.
They've been around for a minute.
Yeah, they have.
I bet Mr. Fisher and Mrs. Price are very, very wealthy.
They have some ridiculous things on here.
I'm pretty sure that this is just a farmer's marketplace set.
They've got a cake pop shop.
Does it make actual cake pops?
Strutton style bag, trademarked.
I think I've obviously aged out of these things,
but should I ever have a daughter or son,
I'm not looking forward to spending $319 on this Power Wheels Jurassic Park Jeep Wrangler
only to have my kid get bored of it in two days.
So this is fun, a farm-to-market stand.
That's what I saw, the little girl shoving money into it.
FTM.
And here's one that actually has Dylan on it.
The DIY tool belt.
Interesting.
Backyard beekeeper.
Patient doctor kit.
How have you not bought the Power Wheels Jurassic Park Jeep or Angler for parks?
I don't know.
He has a Power Wheel at his grandmother's. i don't know if he uses it very much
here there's here's a here's a five-star customer rating uh what does it say this car has turned our
oh never mind no it says this car has turned our playroom into an ass factory
so you said okay so he's just picking up chicks left and right with it. That's aggressive.
This thing's tight.
Which one?
The Jurassic Park thing, dude.
You know what?
Maybe I will call that for him.
I'm literally ordering it right now.
You talking about the dinosaur discovery?
No.
They have a straight up
Jeep Wrangler.
Oh.
Well, it's power.
This is a heavy collabo
because Jeep,
Jurassic Park,
and Power Wheels.
They're all getting a piece of that action.
You have to think that, like, I would love to see the Jurassic Park people trying to strong-arm the Jeep people being like, no, we need a bigger cut.
Okay, I'm here now.
It's $320.
What do you think the horn sounds like?
Do you still have the...
I thought it was going to be the other one.
No, it's been replaced with...
Oh, that's the one I was looking for.
We can get What Are Those back, though.
What are those?
You can just sing it.
Well, aren't we doing Jurassic World for the stream room next week so I can just get it back?
I don't think so.
No, we're just going to listen to Jurassic 5 albums.
That works.
Were you ever into them?
Very.
Very.
J5 was tight.
Some pure hip-hop.
I was supposed to see them
at Lollapalooza one year,
but they canceled
for some reason.
Huh.
Must have drank too much Glen.
This was before Lollapalooza
was like what Lollapalooza is.
I think I was like
just in high school.
This Jeep is kind of tight.
I never wonder
if you'll ever go
to another music festival.
I have wondered that, and I don't know if I will.
I didn't miss it last year.
I didn't miss it.
Yeah, you have plantar fasciitis.
That's not good.
I went last year and had a blast, actually.
Paul McCartney, absolutely shredded.
But then I skipped.
I had tickets for both weekends, three days each.
I only went one time.
He's left-handed?
Paul McCartney? Yeah. Yeah. Left-handed. I only went one time. He's left-handed. Paul McCartney?
Yeah.
Same.
Ooh.
He makes the same faces
at every show.
Hop on YouTube
to see Dave's,
what he's doing.
YouTube.com
slash watch media.
Who was it who thought
band on the run was,
what was it?
I thought it was
man on the run. I'm sure you? I thought it was man on the run.
I'm sure you're not the only person to make that mistake.
Man on the run makes way more sense.
Why is the band running is what your question is.
Yeah.
Were they running across Abbey Road?
Probably running from a promoter.
Band on the run.
It should be man on the run.
Man on the run sounds way cooler.
It should be hand Down, Man Down.
There goes that man's.
There goes that band.
Come get your hands.
Oh, man, I love music.
Unlike human.
More of a music song guy.
Call back to a joke.
Music songs.
What a dum-dum.
I need to go back and listen to the episode with Randy on it
and give my honest takes with Randy on it and
give my honest takes.
People enjoy it.
They don't.
According to the
internet.
People want more
Randy.
I don't know why.
I don't get it.
He hopped on the
sticks yesterday on
Twitch.
I don't know if y'all
saw that.
He's been doing that.
How far did you go
yesterday?
Not how far.
How many kills did you
end up with Randy? Because I watched for about 20 minutes and you had zero you were he was like hey look at all
look at all the damage i've done can i just say i don't care about the damage you've done kill
somebody gulag kills should not count no i don't even know what that means you know they switched
over from the the money deployment to gulag right after we played and he hopped on yeah come on dog
i really wish i had to pee right now just so I could leave for a few minutes and just come back.
Shut up.
Do you want me to mansplain anything to you from Call of Duty?
Yeah.
Tell me about your loadout.
Well, you go to a war zone, which is a zone that is meant for war.
And then you get the loadout.
And then once you get your loadout.
What's in your loadout?
Like your favorite loadout?
You have to go to the bathroom to get some Kleenex.
Dude, I've got.
Wow.
Come on.
Do this.
Grow up.
Sorry, Mom.
Your leg hairs are all.
What's wrong with y'all?
I don't know.
We're fucking.
You took it too far.
I got third yesterday in a solo with zero loadouts because it was too hot.
I couldn't get to them.
So I just camped.
Five kills though.
Not bad.
They'd be hot.
Not bad.
Also in eSports news, I was playing with KJ last night.
He got a red key card.
We got into one of the underground bunkers.
He got in.
I did not. I was dead. But he got into red key card. We got into one of the underground bunkers. He got in. I did not.
I was dead.
But he got into the underground bunker.
There's like 10 legendary crates.
Yeah, it's so sick.
What?
We did it on the stream yesterday.
Where are the bunkers?
There's like a few of them placed around Verdansk.
I don't know.
Oh, they're in Verdansk.
That explains it. Yeah, they're in Verdansk. That explains it.
Yeah, they're in the game.
I'll go straight to it then.
Do you ever try to get out of one and then you just hack at it
and then the ball just falls right back in?
It's like, oh, shucks.
I wish I could just throw my ball out of this bunker.
Dude, my caddie.
Yeah, I do that a lot.
I do that a lot.
My caddie picked up the sand and was playing with it,
and I lost the hole and I lost the match.
That stinks, dude. Yeah, it dude yeah really did he get a kill for
that yeah it was a yeah they took him to the gulag and he got one okay jesus should we talk about
bird dogs real quick probably it's rob what you want to talk about the gym shorts with the built-in
silky soft inner lining that makes underwear obsolete dude dave saw me at the gym yesterday
i was wearing my bird dogs.
Got a great workout in there.
So comfortable.
Have you swam in yours yet?
Yes, I have, David.
Thanks for asking.
I've swam in mine.
And some shorts with built-in liners, they get the air trapped in there.
And it's just embarrassing because you've got the big air bubble.
Not the bird dogs.
That helps you float, though.
They're impossibly comfortable.
Makes your swimming easier.
Yeah, I know.
But I'm not looking for that. It's like a buoy in your shorts. You know what else, though. They're impossibly comfortable. Makes your swimming easier. Yeah, I know, but I'm not looking for that.
It's like a buoy in your shorts.
It really happens.
You know what else they do?
They make my ass pop.
I'll go ahead and say it.
I got a bubble butt.
Did somebody tell you that?
The stripe at the top kind of showcases the booty.
My mirror told me that.
Cutie with a booty.
Yeah, Dylan's own eye.
Plus, I saw people eyeing it at the gym.
You were one of them, actually, David, now that I think about it.
Everything is great.
I was leaving when you got there. well you were checking the ass you're
peeping the ass out i saw it if you're not familiar with bird dogs you got to get familiar not only
do they have gym shorts they also have swimsuits they got pants i've gone on record saying they're
the best pants they're my best fitting pants that i currently own best fitting pants with a liner
you don't see that anywhere. When it's like
fall and we start to feel a little
more comfortable about everything, we can
maybe go to Woodrow's and socially distance
and have some draft beers.
You're going to catch me parking some of
those bird dog pants right on that picnic table.
They're my happy hour pants. I've told you that.
They're my everything pants.
Do you
swim in them? I do.
I'm a bubble butt baddie when I wear them.
I'm just saying.
When you have those on, everything is cake.
Nah, Dylan. You got a long ass back.
Dude, what?
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They're actually very quality masks.
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That's birddogs.com, promo code STEAM, and boom, a free bird dog's face mask
with your pair of bird dogs.
You will not take these things off, I promise you.
You guys aware that the Democratic National Convention is happening right now?
Yeah, I've been watching it in real time.
Man, it's some of the worst content I've ever seen.
We were talking about this last night,
and just about, like, why are they doing these, like, long 10-hour days?
Like, it's all online.
Like, the ratings can't be good.
Somebody, I think it was KJ, had the idea of, like,
they should just every Sunday up until the election just like have somebody new speak.
Top of mind.
And it's not you don't get the fatigue of like a 10-hour live stream or whatever.
But, yeah, it's also conflicting with the playoffs, NHL and NBA, which is not great.
Well, I turned it on the other night and I was like, oh, this might be actually really interesting.
And pretty much their intro to the entire convention
was just pretty much saying, this is not going to be interesting.
It's like, nope, instead of having this arena filled with people having fun,
there's just a podium in Minnesota.
I was like, oh, sick.
Exhilarating.
Mitten State.
Yeah.
Dude, shut up.
Land of 10,000 mittens.
It's like, what is going on?
And then last night they were doing intros for all these dudes from different states,
and they had the Rhode Island guy there, which is what brought us here.
Rhode Island guy, Fox.
Just to be, I want to be clear about something.
Rhode Island might be one of the most underrated states in the United States.
I don't even know if we have any listeners there, but I'm going to do a Newport meetup once we can start traveling again.
I'm just going to be chain-blasting Newports.
That sounds like fun. Yeah, I've only been to be chain-blasting Newports. Yep. That sounds like fun.
Yeah, I've only been to Newport once, and it went hard.
But for some reason, when they were doing the intro last night,
there was just a chef standing right there.
Randy, do you got a picture of this guy?
There's just a chef standing right there,
just holding a big plate of calamari.
And it's just like, why is he doing this?
Why is it right at his belt line?
I don't know.
It's like uncomfortably close to his.
Let me say, and I said this before, I do love calamari, but that's a lame state food.
Like, that's lame.
Yeah, so I looked it up, and as it turns out, the state food of Rhode Island is calamari.
Oh.
I do have an issue with the calamari here is that they put the cocktail sauce all over the top of the calamari.
No, I like to dip.
I don't like that.
That's like people who squirt their ketchup on their fries.
Oh, those are crazy people.
That's loco.
I will say that those are crazy people, and I will never do that.
But if someone does that, I don't mind grabbing a fry from it.
The difference is the fry, it's a finger food.
You pick it up.
Calamari, it's usually with a fork, right?
Yeah.
I'm a fork guy with calamari.
What?
Right?
Yeah.
Me.
I am.
Personal.
It's preference.
Is this man's penis the size of a calamari?
No, I want to go on record.
I want to go on record saying.
What's going on here?
I want to go on record saying that I do not use a fork for calamari.
That's okay.
I do.
I do.
Why?
Honestly, it's probably a germ thing.
For you, it's understandable.
For Dylan, it's just like, get off your high horse.
Oh, like I love germs or something?
I don't like germs, but I don't know.
It's just cleaner.
I feel like that's a proper way to do it.
And to be honest, I probably have done it many times with my fingers.
I'm just misremembering.
I'm just misremembering.
The Washington Post did a United States of America ranked by their Biden nomination videos,
and this got fourth.
I kind of want to die now.
This is the Washington Post.
They got the thickest chef they could find for this, too.
Yeah.
Well, never trust a skinny chef.
Is he wearing a rollie?
True.
I think he might be wearing a rollie.
Do you think he just asked his boy for it?
He's like, hey, I'm going to be on CNN tonight.
Do you mind if I borrow your Rolex for the night?
Dude, chefs do well, man.
Look at those forearms.
Dude, this guy, I mean, this guy knows how to do it.
We're sure this guy's not hanging D in the calamari.
No, we're not.
Okay.
No, we're not.
Dave, can you mind out of the clutter? Why has he got it down there like that?
And he's got this look on his face.
I just don't trust this guy right now.
So he didn't cover that sign, I guess.
It looks like he's from a place called Iggy's.
I don't know anything about Iggy's.
You think Iggy's slaps?
I don't know.
I wonder how Rhode Island came to be the calamari state.
Calamari, traditional Mediterranean Italian cuisine.
It's a small estate, right?
Rhode Island?
It's a little. No, I think it's Ohio small estate, right? Rhode Island?
No, I think it's Ohio.
Oh, yeah, good point.
So I didn't realize this, but I didn't realize how many states have just ridiculous state things.
What are we, the Blue Jay State?
I already, do you guys want to, here, do you want me to name, so Texas by far has the most state blah, blah, blah.
That's not surprising. Oh, that's weird.
Yeah, like who would have thought?
Okay, what do you think that the – yeah, that's an easy one.
We're the somewhat above average fast food hamburger state.
We already said the state food is chili.
Chili.
Which you noted that's a little weird.
Texans take a lot of pride in their chili.
No beans in Texas chili, by the way.
But it's a very hot state, and chili is a very cold-weather food.
Beans, clams, stay-taken ales.
Yes, it is.
So it'd be better fitting for, I don't know, Montana.
Something like that.
You'd think it would be brisket.
Montana's is probably bison.
Why don't we change it to brisket?
That's what it should be.
Or tacos.
Brisket tacos. I. Triscuit tacos.
I respect Montana for having nothing.
Oh, because Michigan does the same thing.
Do they?
That's what you said earlier.
Jerk.
You want to hear what Texas did for their nomination video?
Mm-hmm.
It says here, because we got number two in the Washington Post's ranking of whatever the fuck.
Texas's presentation was elegantly filmed in front of a large mural
depicting a Mexican man flexing his muscles.
The focus of this presentation with the mass shoot.
Okay, well, this is just getting serious.
I just saw the man flexing his muscles and I didn't read on.
It's just Dylan at Lifetime.
Compelling and visually interesting, but Wyoming.
Wyoming, they won. do you guys know the
state snack of texas yes dylan it's the least creative state snack you can come up with for
texas is it like corn nuts chips and salsa oh fuck yeah dude do you have any do you have any
idea what your the state health nut is health nut this is Mm-hmm. This is an easy one.
Almond?
Yeah.
No, pecan, dude.
What are you thinking?
It's pecan.
Pecan.
Pecan.
Pecan.
The state vegetable here, I will say stinks.
What is it?
Sweet onion.
All right.
Okay.
When I put on my bird dog shorts, people say I've got a sweet onion.
I think what Texas did was they took the most generic ones so that if anybody else wanted the top dog, they were like, no, that's us.
I think Dave just landed a joke and we completely missed it.
Oh, it definitely didn't land.
He looked very proud of it.
No, it wasn't good.
Oh, okay.
You missed a landing.
I'm hoping.
Go back and delete it, Will.
No, no, no.
Do you guys know what the state squash is in Texas?
The state squash?
Mm-hmm.
I didn't know there were multiple kinds of squash.
This is the reason that I think that Texas is just like,
no, we need a state squash before other people do it
because they're going to get the good one.
They just chose a pumpkin.
Oh, that's a squash?
I didn't even know that.
That's weak.
I did know that, actually.
Oklahoma has gone so far as that they have a state meal.
Ooh, let me guess what it is.
Your state meal? They have a whole state meal. Ooh, let me guess what it is. You say meal?
They have a whole state meal.
This was established in 1988.
Traditional Midwestern cuisine.
This is, if anything, this proves that Oklahoma is not a part of the Midwest.
No Midwest state would do this.
Pork chop and mashed potatoes.
What is it?
Chicken fried steak, barbecued pork, fried okra, squash, cornbread, grits, corn, sausage with biscuits and gravy, black eyed peas, strawberries and pecan pie.
I mean, that's a lot of food.
That doesn't sound like a meal.
That's a buffet.
I mean, all I'm saying is that if they were a Midwestern state, they would not have all that because every single thing on that list is a Southern staple.
No.
Chicken fried steak it is yeah
keep going fried okra strawberries fried okra is like ultimate south i mean strawberries are
generic pecan pie yeah grits pecan pie slaps okay well i need i need to see the other midwestern
states state meals guess what Ohio's state fruit is?
Tomato.
That is so lame.
I better know what their nut is.
Actually, they do have a nut.
Is it the buckeye? No, native fruit.
No, they don't have a nut.
Their state native fruit is the pawpaw.
Do we know what Ohio's state meal is,
or is that not a thing that they have?
They don't have that.
No one's doing full meals.
No, that's a weird move from them.
I think that's Oklahoma trying to be considered part of the South.
They're pandering.
They're like, oh, it's like them wanting to get into the SEC.
Minnesota has a state muffin.
Grits, fried okra.
We know what you're doing here.
They're trying to shed that Midwestern tag.
I get it.
Minnesota also has a state mushroom, which I respect.
You ever had a morale mushroom?
Cordyceps.
Is it psychedelic?
No, they taste really good.
It's too bad.
I only do truffle.
Truffle butter?
Truffle butter.
Fresh from a dog A dog's Mouth
That he hunted
Dogs
There's truffle hunting dogs
In the mountains of Italy
Correct
Yeah
One of the best bachelor bits
They ever did
What?
Truffle hunting dog
That was tight
It was man
The last thing I'll say
Is that I respect the fact
That Vermont just has
A state flavor.
Ooh, what is it?
Maple.
That's a good flavor.
Vermont.
Kind of tight.
Makes sense their capital's Flavortown, right?
It would take me a few minutes to find Vermont on a map, I think.
No.
No, really.
No.
If you give me a Sporkle quiz with all the states and stuff,
like you can drag them to where they need to be on the map,
I can get it like – I can get 48 out of 50.
When it comes to the Northeast, I will struggle.
It's not that hard, dude.
Okay.
Just keep an eye – maybe we should do a geography, B, on like the YouTubes.
YouTubes.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
I want to throw this can in that trash can so bad, but I'm not going to.
But I want to.
It would have to go over Randy's head, wouldn't it?
I hope what I miss and hit Randy right in the face.
I'm surprised Texas' intro wasn't just like someone in front of like Jerry Jones' helicopter.
He wouldn't stand for that.
I don't think he's doing much Democratic stuff.
No, I don't think that's where his money goes.
Something tells me.
Something tells me. He won't be backing the Biden-Harris ticket.
The biggest issue I have with the Rhode Island one is I didn't see any leg pieces in that calamari.
I just saw all tubes.
You want to see tentacles.
Give me those tentacles.
Give me all the calamari.
We got no blowback for selling the name of the little rubber band pieces of Calamari.
No one mentioned the fact that clearly a good take from the squad.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's the take?
My takes usually are really strong.
What was the take?
Didn't we say?
You said.
I liked the little O-ring.
Oh, so I'm the only pro tentacle?
You're the squid guy.
I like them too, Dave, but they're very rubbery is what I said.
Yeah, good Calamari, though. I haven're very rubbery is what I said. Yeah, good calamari, though.
I haven't had calamari in a year.
Uncertain times.
Sure.
Yeah, no one's doing that.
Ooh, should we do some air fryer calamari?
That would suck.
Could you walk to your seafood counter at HEB and get calamari?
Yeah.
I've never seen calamari in
its raw form before, now
that I think about it.
Next time you go to Central Market, just do a
little drive-by by the
seafood counter. They got a bunch
of random stuff there. It's kind of interesting sometimes.
The other
night, Sally was like, I was like, oh, what are we having for dinner?
She had just gone to the store and she was like,
she's like, well, tonight we're doing this and then tomorrow we're doing
fish florentine i was like okay like i'm not really a fan of like saving the fish for day two
and then i pulled it out of the refrigerator the next day and it was discount cow or discount
fish that we ate the next day and i was just like i feel like we should just not do this
what was the discount fish?
What kind of fish?
Was it tilapia?
No, it was halibut.
And squid?
I was like, that's still expensive.
Why are we doing discount halibut right now?
It kind of scares me.
That's probably because it was really old.
Buying discount fish on a Monday feels a little sketch.
No.
Just saying.
I'm just saying okay man
should we just do this weekend in fun
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Not upset with any of them.
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When I backflip into my Yeti cooler, I just grab the first Vizzy that I feel.
Why are you backflipping into it?
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Dylan, what are you doing this weekend?
I'm leaving town.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
I'm going to Nashville for the weekend.
Really?
Going to Nashville.
Hang out with a friend friend Just a little getaway
Should be a good time
In a getaway car
Haven't traveled in a minute
Are you going to Nashville?
Are you serious?
I'm going to Nashville
Who?
Nashville Vegas?
It's in Tennessee
For golf?
What are you doing?
I'm just going to hang out for the weekend
Yeah, what courses are you playing?
Sweetens Cove
Are you really?
No
Oh
But I am going to Nashville
Is Sweetens Cove tight?
Like, I don't know anything about Sweetens Cove are you doing a listener meetup it's apparently super tight
no i'm not doing a listener meetup but i might run into one or two who knows
are you gonna eat some hot chicken on the street dude um i'm sorry i'm not gonna cuck your
nashville trip but i just that chicken talk right there just made me super h for this weekend i'm going to a brantley gilbert concert just kidding i'm not doing that but i am going there why did you
just do brantley gilbert so bad so bad you didn't have to do that to him what do you do in nashville
in uncertain times like what's like what's the state of nashville like is it open can you go
to restaurants i think it's similar to to how it is here they're not gonna quarantine you since you're from a house
right I don't think so I hope not right they cancel my trip can you do me a
fine right I am you are can you get me a t-shirt from the Johnny Cash Museum Oh
you mean serious will you get me one from Planet Hollywood I think you're
gonna say that dude yeah I got you I got you get Randy got you. Get Randy one human for Hard Rock Cafe, Nashville.
Done.
Last time I went to Nashville, Sally wouldn't let me go to the Johnny Cash Museum.
Why not?
Because we were going to go on Sunday morning before our flight, and she was hungover, and
she was just like, no, we need to go to brunch instead of doing this.
And I was like, I don't know.
Walking around at Johnny Cash Museum might cure your hangover.
I'm going to the Alan Jackson Museum while I'm there.
Is he even from Nashville?
Why would he have one?
I don't know where he's from.
No, he's from Chattahoochee.
He was born on it.
Yeah, dude.
Anyway.
He's from Noonan, Georgia.
Noonan.
Noonan.
Noonan.
Noonan.
Noonan.
You can do it.
Well, sick, dude.
Hope your phone works this weekend
doesn't really fucking matter does it i'm gonna uh
i'm gonna do some stuff this weekend got mavs clip tonight i think the mavs are gonna even it up
got stars closing out tomorrow sorry all my calgary backers out there. It's a tough scene. Mega.
Friday, we got game three, Mavs clip.
That's going to be a big one. I might get some hot chicken.
Maybe tumble 22.
I'll probably try. I'll do Gus's.
Ooh, buddy.
Utilize some Postmates. Get Gus's
delivered. Watch basketball.
Saturday, who knows?
I had a golf invite thrown out.
Don't know if it's going to happen or not.
I'm just going to be doing whatever, man.
Hopefully somebody throws me that wakeboard or that, yeah, that wake surf invite, Will.
I'm confused.
Are golf courses closed in Austin or open?
Did you see they're jacking up the price?
The city council voted to do a price increase on all city courses
because they've been operating at a deficit
and they're tired of funding it.
I'm just like, man, I can't wait to spend
$85
to play a mediocre public course.
It's not taken care of.
The biggest downside of golf in Texas has just
gotten even worse. Or Austin
at least, not Texas. Austin's just a bad
public golf town. It just
is. I tell everybody that before
they move here. It's really bad. I said, there's
two things you need to know before you move here.
Very, very hot.
Second, very, very poor golf
town. Well, what
pisses me off is that
everyone's like, oh, you must play so much golf down there.
Year-round. I'm like, no.
No, I don't.
It's too hot most of the time.
A lot of the courses I play are more money than I want to spend for a round of golf.
I just always have to hope that I get invited somewhere dope and get a discounted guest rate or something.
I don't know what the situation is with the public courses in Travis County.
I don't know.
I don't know if all of them are open or what.
It's a real shame.
It is a real shame. It is a real shame.
Hopefully, with the raised rates, it means they'll have more money to put into them.
Whatever.
Probably not.
Probably not.
Dude, that's going to price a lot of people out.
Yeah.
Hashtag grow the game.
You're not doing a good job of it. We're not growing it.
What's the opposite of grow the game?
Shrink the game?
Kill the game.
Don't shrink the game.
Shrink the game. Sunday? I the game. Shrink the game.
Sunday, I don't know.
I kill the game.
It's going to be low-key.
Okay.
You know what I'm saying, Dave?
Who's watching Stella?
I've got deuces up right now.
My sister, Ann, is watching Stella.
She'll be staying at my house.
That's pretty interesting.
I didn't get the nod for that, but all right.
I guess because I'm already watching Parks.
Hey, maybe your phone wasn't working.
I tried texting you, man.
I guess my phone just shut off again.
Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
You guys are getting my texts, right?
I'm not ignoring your texts or anything, dude.
They're just not coming through.
I figured, yeah.
Like that one you sent me last night, I didn't get it.
Are we doing the mail-in after this?
It's weird because, I mean, Apple's usually really dependable, and Verizon is a good combo,
but I just can't get stuff to go through to you guys sometimes.
No, you sent me one last night that was like, hey, man, can you talk real quick? And I just didn't get stuff to go through to you guys sometimes. No, you sent me one last night.
It was like, hey, man, can you talk real quick?
And I just didn't get that text.
Yeah.
Sorry, dude.
That's all right.
I just got to get a new phone.
No, it's my bad.
My bad.
That's all I got, man.
I've got a wide open weekend.
Would love a pool invite or some sort of body of water invite
if anybody's listening.
Come to Nashville with me.
I don't think I'm going to do that okay i uh i had my weekend derailed last weekend by having a giant meal from matts l rancho
on thursday night that made me feel like shit all friday and then uh off and then on friday i decided
to just like you know make myself feel better for feeling like shit and i i just ate uh or i just
drank i was like you know i already feel like crap. Then I woke up on Saturday and went to
Sally's parents' pool
and just drank more. So I'm trying to
maybe try to do a little bit less of
eating like shit and drinking like shit all week.
That's how you know nature is healing.
It's not great. We are the virus.
I don't know. We got...
I mean, my soccer teams
are done. It's over.
I don't have any soccer to watch.
It's just going to be tough.
Well, you can hop on the Mavs and Stars bandwagon.
Stars are a likable team, I'll say it.
I can't do that.
You can hop on the Stars.
I'd rather hop on the—
We share Mike Madano in common and Darian Hatcher.
I'd rather hop on the Mavs bandwagon if you want me on one of them.
All right, fine. I can't of them. I can't do both.
I can't do both. Playoff hockey, not having playoff hockey is almost kind of nice because
you can watch the games without any stress on you. It is nice to not have a dog in the fight
every now and then. I wouldn't want that to be a thing every year. No, no. I always miss the first
game of the playoffs where it's just everything is so much faster and it's just so much fun. But I don't know
what that feels like anymore because after making the playoffs
for over 20 years straight, we just decided to stop.
It's pretty sick.
So yeah, I don't know.
It's going to be a tough one.
I'm going to try to get aquatic this weekend.
Whether it's in a pool or on a lake, I'm going to try to get in the water.
Maybe we can link and build, David.
Let's get wet.
Come to Nashville.
Could you stop inviting us to Nashville?
We're not going with you.
You can't invite us to Nashville on Thursday.
What the fuck?
Whatever.
So, yeah.
I got nothing.
Shouldn't be a fun one.
Don't link and build while I'm away
I'll see if your phone's working this weekend, Dave
And I'll text you
Yeah
I'm sure it'll come through
I haven't really been having too many problems with my texting
No, I haven't either
So yeah, I'll be in close touch
Must be nice
That was fun
We had a great week of podcasts Was that a long pause? Strong week It was sneaky long I'll be in close touch. Must be nice. That was fun.
We had a great week of podcasts. Was that a long pause?
Strong week.
It was.
Sneaky long pause, man.
Are we doing a live stream tonight?
We are.
Yep.
Okay.
Also, patreon.com slash tricklingbackpodcast.
We'll be back on Friday with some listener voicemails.
Gentlemen, you're allowed to call in again.
I think we should do mommies only at least once a month.
Once a month, mommies only.
Shout out to the Will Mommy group. The mommies only at least once a month. Once a month, mommies only. Shout out to the Will Mommy group.
The mommies can call whenever they want.
True.
But just once a month, it's going to be only mommies.
Get it, Dave?
What do we call the Will Monnies?
What are the dudes?
Will Mons.
Fucking dudes.
Okay.
Yeah, tomorrow.
Friday's chill bro day.
Okay.
Chill bros only.
I need to make sure.
Don't call the pipeline.
888-618-4422.
It's anything less than chill vibes.
Yeah, if your call's not chill, you're not getting through.
In 30 seconds or less, chill.
He's going to be like, what's up?
This is Rafter.
Just got back from Columbia.
I thought I'd stay a couple extra years.
Maybe the king of North Austin will chime in.
Hey, congratulations to the king and queens
of North Austin
who are getting married.
It's big.
I believe they just got married.
Right?
Shout out to the backer
who also had his firstborn son.
Yeah.
Named it Wilmon,
which is very cool.
That's huge.
Very cool.
I'd love to see
that birth certificate.
If you name your kid Wilmon,
they will get
a lifetime Patreon membership. If you name your kid Wilmon, they will get a lifetime Patreon membership.
If you name your firstborn son Wilmon, I promise you that rum floaters will be free for the rest of your life.
Don't do it.
For you and your son.
Got to see birth certificate to verify.
Not sure how I can financially recover from that, but we'll figure it out.
Some restrictions apply.
Yes.
Bye. from that but we'll figure it out some restrictions apply yes bye