Circling Back - Live From Dave's Couch
Episode Date: August 30, 2023BREAKING NEWS: Our AC unit is still out at HQ. That being said, we still wanted to mob so we've set up shop for the week on Dave's couch. Today, we did a new segment titled "Was this a weird move by D...ave?" where we talked about handicap stalls, discussed tonight's blue super moon, life on Mars, This Weekend in Fun, and so much more. Enjoy a free two-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop Support This Episode’s Sponsors Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) Mugsy: www.mugsy.com (STEAM for 10% off) Nutrafol: www.nutrafol.com/men (CIRCLING for $15 off) Earlybird CBD: www.earlybirdcbd.com (BACKER for 20% off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from Dave's couch. My name's Will DeFreeze.
To my left, David, the Couch King Roth.
The Couch King.
That is fitting.
You get to see what I do every night from about 8.30 to 10.30-ish.
Hey, I got a question.
Speaking of couches, is there a better place to watch an ACC football game
than, I don't know, a movie theater?
I saw that, and I kind of love it.
At least I'm intrigued by it.
I don't know if ACC game is one I want to watch,
but I could watch my team play from a movie theater.
Okay.
I didn't even know they had a movie theater at ACC.
It's good. I thought't even know they had a movie theater at ACC. It's good.
I thought the ACC was going away.
Can someone explain to me in a couple sentences
what's going on with the current football conference alignments?
I believe the ACC is here to stay.
The Pac-12, however, is in a lot of trouble.
Ah, okay.
But nothing is happening this year.
I think the ACC should go away.
Okay. I would prefer if we had to lose one of the two, I would. I think the ACC should go away. I would prefer
if we had to lose one of the two,
I would prefer to lose the ACC.
Is that because Jaquinden plays in the Pac-12?
I just think it's more fun.
It just means more. And Jaquinden.
And Cam Rising.
Former Longhorn great.
Both of them.
Hey, is the code department out there again, Randy?
Let me know if we need to go hide.
Who the fuck were you guys just talking about? Jaquon no i know who jaquendon is i unfortunately know way too many duncanville athletes yeah cam rising was um he's a utah quarterback he's a utah
quarterback but he was at texas and then he transferred and he's he's just kind of uh he's
a dog he's becoming like a cult hero yeah colt mccoy hero he's just a dog shout out to him
hope he's healthy against florida cool i have a question what happens if like like svp has a
an episode to film of his show what happens if the ac goes out there then they just go to his
house and just sit on the couch or they have a backup plan i bet they have backup studios
you think they have resources that extend beyond what we have at washington media you gotta think so you know he
almost signed with us twice i know we i thought we had him but kind of a last minute deal there
was some some clauses in the agreement that he didn't he didn't like that we just couldn't budge
on so we passed on on svp and he's back with ESPN.
Does he not get tired of seeing all his boys just have to move on
because ESPN won't give him the bag?
That's got to be exhausting, yeah.
Like, what's the rapport like in the coffee room
when, like, he doesn't have his boys there anymore?
And it's like, okay.
I got the bag.
Sorry, bud.
Like, you have to go, like, work for Fox now. Is that how you felt at Grand X after Dave and I got the bag you did sorry bud like you you gotta you you have to go like work for Fox now
is that how you felt at Grand X after Dave and I got let go that's exactly how I felt I was like
man this it's just like I'm so glad I have this opportunity to be around but I just feel bad for
these guys same same we should have hired McAfee again I just don't think that was in the the
budget for us I mean I've always said we need a guy who wears tank tops and stands up during podcasts we had we had part of that with dan but dan didn't stand up
enough during the tank dan didn't understand the importance of standing he didn't he didn't take
the brett merriman school seriously well he had trouble though because his his knee healed wrong
so he couldn't stand all podcast you got his leg put back on sideways when his leg fell off
oh he broke it his tibia fibula whenever you intro me i have something to address well i'm
just getting started now yeah go ahead well intro don't feels weird to intro you and you're not on
my right and we're not sitting in the studio so dylan shivery ladies and gentlemen i'd like to
address the uh hungover voice that i have it's a little scratchy
i don't think anybody was gonna notice but yeah i didn't know you sound like fucking two beers
and i got a full night i got a full eight hours of sleep i don't know why i sound like this
but uh i didn't go out like get crazy last night i just wanted i want that on the record that's all
i wanted to say can i say where you went i put on my story so yeah go
ahead i went to dinner with his dad at carve yeah so this is funny two beers dude there's something
about carve whether it's their beer their wine i don't know i always leave there thinking i'll be
fine sat down at the bar talking to my dad get a tap on the shoulder big game brett merriman is sitting four seats over
from me laptop open what was he wearing his arm could reach that long that he tapped you from
four seats over yeah he was wearing uh whatever he wore to work he has his cap on and yeah he
looked like brett he had a glass of wine in front of him wearing something that said wyoming on it
some yeah some state from like uh he's got to go
there one time he pulled the hey i promise i'm a good employee move he said i'm working on a an rfp
for hulu right now for the squad i was like that's awesome yeah you didn't have to let him know yeah
yeah heck yeah i thought you were writing a love letter over there okay we we know that and brett
talks about this pretty much every mail-in episode that he's a he's a pop the laptop open at the bar guy yeah i am not that guy and i don't want to be that guy because i don't really like working
in scenarios where literally no one else around me is working besides the people at the place
yeah am i too anti that am i too anti laptop at a bar no it totally depends on in the environment like a bar like
a crowded bar no way i could never i would not feel comfortable doing that it just depends where
you are and and what the environment is and how many people are there in my opinion yeah i i worked
from a coffee shop yesterday and popped it open for a little bit and then realized what
i was doing i could just do for my phone i was like yeah i prefer this but then like i'm like
oh man am i like my that person who's just like just staring at their phone at the coffee shop
and i'm like nobody cares no one cares at a coffee shop it's expected oh this guy's on slack
coffee shops are a totally different ball game yeah well like what my issue a lot of the time with like having a laptop open in public is it's
also just like the shit going on around yeah the different lighting that hits your laptop like it's
just a different scenario you got people everywhere you know i hate it when people are staring at my
screen i always feel like people are always looking at the screen the screen looking people
are behind you uh-uhuh. That's so uncomfortable.
I used to have to get to...
I would do things girls do after graduation
from a coffee shop for a little bit every Wednesday.
And there was a period where I had to get there
earlier than I wanted to get there
because I didn't want to sit in one of those seats
that had a bunch of people looking at me
in line the entire time.
I could be writing the most mundane,
boring email of all time,
but I still wouldn't want anyone
looking over my shoulder at it.
No.
It's proprietary.
I think I have a complex because of my old job.
Not Grand X.
Before is where I feel like I could actually get in trouble
for having something on my screen that wasn't work.
And so I think I developed this serious complex.
Now, it still exists.
I don't like when people walk by and hit the screen.
Man, there's the point?
There's just no way Randy could ever open his laptop at a bar.
I mean, God knows what those tabs are looking like.
Dude, I can't even imagine.
I wish we could hear from Randy today since he's back and all,
but I don't.
Oh, he did pack a mic for himself.
I have complete control of my own mic over here.
This is a first.
Oh, wow.
I don't like this.
Yeah, you should be in control.
I'm here.
That was put in bay. it still sounds made up it was fun is that really what it's called yeah put in bay
with two hyphens uh it was fun it very much was still ohio they're not consecutive hyphens that
is true that's fucking sick uh we went to cedar point and all of uh four roller coasters were
running of like probably the
25 that they have so that was cool well then it was not 59 degrees outside so you couldn't even
ride i know it's true that's brett would have been upset yeah like we drove through a really
bad storm wednesday night and then like thursday there was a bunch of flooding even on like the
island there was a bunch of flooding so it kind of sucked but it was still a fun time sounds like that trip was a roller coaster in and of itself oh my gosh yeah yeah it was that's good your voice
doesn't sound bad enough yeah oh no i am on day what four of a hangover so this is this is the
worst what caused it oh just three days of non-stop drinking it's yeah it's bad yeah i got nauseous
when i saw how large your first
pina colada vacation was how many ounces was that pina colada randy that's a lot of sugar
i think i think it was only like 25 or something i don't know they they really get you in the
skinny part that part they do they do that was uh very much a those things are all shaft that's
still a massive pina colada that's probably 80 grams of sugar who's keeping count though
not me still it is yeah i am for being such an anti-sugar person you're way too okay with how
much sugar we have in our office right now compared to other foods in our office right now
what do we have oh because the candy yeah the candy situation which is probably all melted
so it's probably melted right now i need to go pick up some set of candles from the office while this AC unit's out.
Hey, speaking of...
Yeah, that shit's going to melt.
Speaking of the candy that got sent to the office,
did you want to thank the listener that sent you a tactical knife yesterday?
Yeah, someone accidentally sent a tactical knife.
I honestly feel like at this point listeners might be trying to kill me.
It's a really good knife.
Did you look at that thing?
It's ours now.
I didn't hold it, but it looks impressive.
It's ours now. It's a heavy-duty you look at that thing it's ours i didn't hold it but it looks impressive it's ours now it's a heavy duty tactical knife that the blade was open does it
have the the seat like the cutter the rope cutter and the like thing at the end looked like it did
for sure was it open when you guys opened it up yeah okay it was just open i kind of i was like
um definitely a mistake you would contact somebody about that do they want it back
no it's our knife stop trying to get the tactical knife back dude that's a good ass knife we're keeping the tactical knife is ours
but it was accidentally mailed to you how do we know it was accidental i still think they might
have been trying to kill me man a lot would have to go wrong for you to have opened you should use
this on yourself i don't send weapons in the mail to people this isn't something i take on
just be if you send something to Wash Media,
you're probably not getting it sent back.
It's kind of like why I don't return returns
that I should be returning.
Can I have those Mezcal ones?
Take them.
Fuck yeah, let's ride.
I think Mezcal...
The more that I drink Mezcal,
the more out I am on Mezcal.
Well, you can't hang out with me then.
I have some.
Do you want some right now?
No.
I have a couple, like,
two-thirds finished bottles of Mezcal at my place Do you want some right now? No. I have a couple, like two-thirds finished bottles of mezcal at my place
if you want some, dude.
Oh, that's your boy.
It's just,
I don't get the affinity for it.
It doesn't jive with my pal.
I can only do it
when it's very cold outside.
It's got to be cold
for me to enjoy it.
There's like one single night
a year where I'm like,
ooh, you know what sounds good
right now?
A mezcal drink.
And then I have it
and it tastes good and then I never crave one the rest of the year. I good right now? A mezcal drink. And then I have it, and it tastes good,
and then I never crave one
the rest of the year.
I've got two bottles of mezcal
in my liquor cabinet,
and both of them have about
two cocktails taken out of them.
Dude, slide those to me.
Be my housewarming gift from you.
My new place.
I've got two bottles of mezcal.
That's fine.
That's right.
It's really okay.
Anyway.
Remember when Micah would sing the jingle?
Randy never sang it.
Two Minutes in Paradise?
When we talked about Bachelor in Paradise?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was fun.
Yeah, it was fun.
We would sometimes go over two minutes, though.
Yeah.
But that's okay.
Hey, what's the Love Island games that blakey locks hit us up about
maya jama announced it uh on instagram the other day she's announced a lot of things on instagram
i don't know you're talking about can you expand on that just like her he did in future endeavors
uh love island is apparently going to take cast members from several different walks of life.
And by walks of life, I mean seasons in different countries.
And they're going to bring these people back.
And they are going to have some type of games.
I think they might be seeing the success of The Challenge, perhaps.
And they're trying to replicate that, in which I will say I'm all in on.
Love Island in the United States of America
is a CBS-owned company.
And I believe CBS is owned by Paramount.
Paramount covers the challenge.
Whoa.
It's all...
You're following the money.
It's all happening.
Because Love Island people have been on the challenge, correct?
Yes.
Okay.
But I think Love Island is popular enough that they could probably just do a love island challenge at
this point yeah we'll see you know i mean there's some absolute dogs out there if you guys want me
to break down the current season of the challenge i can i mean we've got tori who's just playing an
absolute mastermind of a game we've got johnny bananas who kind of seems a little out of his
depth at this point like he's too much of a veteran. He's old now.
We've got to target his back.
CT?
It's been an interesting season.
No CT this season.
He was a back-to-back champion in recent memory, so I think it was time for him to make a
He's got nothing to prove going out like Elway.
He's got some kids at home, or I think he has one kid at home.
He might have zero kids at home.
Okay.
He has between zero and two or three kids at home.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
So maybe he's spending time with them or maybe he's not.
Maybe he's just spending the money and enjoying himself.
But yeah, CT gives off the vibe of a guy who can live a pretty modest, straightforward lifestyle.
You know, I still live in Stillwater and a little bit goes a long way there.
So I don't have to worry about money too much.
You know.
Used to go.
You do?
Me?
Yeah. Yeah. All the money I have is not going to affect me still water is a pretty modest town okay yeah shout out hove like hove
yeah that that is not jay-z but victor hovland yeah jay-z does not live in still water but
victor hovland um your tour champion does can i I make some official announcements? Please, Will.
I don't have any sound effects today.
That's my first announcement.
Do you want me to provide sound effects?
No, no, no, no, no.
We're good.
This is my announcement time,
so if you could not do any sound effects,
that'd be great.
What about like a hype horn?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
First and foremost,
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Right now, we're doing a pre-sale for that.
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love it as always the roebuck uh wilmont's polos are still available at roebuck.com go check that
out as well uh patreon we're a little off this week today uh we will probably be releasing our listener voicemails at our normal time on Thursday.
But
yesterday we did exactly five
minutes. It was the fastest
most exciting podcast in Watch Media history.
We did it in a studio that
was probably bubbling above 90 degrees
based on what I know about the outside of the studio.
It was definitely the sweatiest.
All of us left dripping in sweat,
so you know it's a good episode. And finally finally head over to youtube.com circling back go subscribe you can watch us today's video
today is on video because randy is back and we did force him to uh set up video at dave's place
because we're just dogs like that yeah i threw this together don't make fun of my
my setup please thank you it's a fine setup dave yeah i know i just you know kids it's
hard to keep stuff nice i got it and dogs speaking of he's he's i thought he was gonna be much more
of an intrusive problem he's kind of gone off and done his own thing he's down there enjoying
himself he's been around a podcast or two in his day you know he's like that's cool y'all are doing
your thing how do y'all even make money yeah he did he asked me that when i walked in yo can we can we break down dave's books
okay i did not buy those dude it's okay dave you got some vibey ass books my books my books get
put away i'm not dude you're on that urban botanics grind dog hell yeah what kind of urban
botanicals do you have the amalfi coast like weed honestly the cacti and succulents book over there
you should probably give that away
since you don't take care of the ones
that are in your office.
Okay.
How are you going to handle that, dog?
I don't know.
I don't see the spine of that book
with any creases in it, dog.
You know how hard it is to kill a succulent?
Not very hard if you're at the part of the office
that gets zero sun.
Well, succulents are very resilient.
Yeah.
Require very little attention and water.
Well, maybe I should do what you did and buy a fake one so i don't i don't think i don't
yeah i don't know about that man oh dude dave is hanging off the rim right now with his nuts
in your face how does that feel dude so dude call the ambulance you came into his you came
into his house and tried to take the remote and dave just swatted that shit out of your hands dog
but not for me that video is
incredible i don't know the context of it don't even care it's perfect dave you have a book about
the movie the skulls yeah that's also because i got asked to join really i didn't make it through
playship you went to yale uh for a time yeah i got kicked out because i would not join the skulls
because they wanted me to to kill someone and i didn't do it i actually heard you didn't get a bid
i got a bid i got a score like this guy's just he's just not frat enough for us i mean there's a really good argument that i'm not
frat enough for the skull and bones yes uh my my dad was never like director of the cia also the
lack of ivy league education well that too i did go to t state though right i kind of get how pacey
from dawson's creek got a bit if i'm being honest. I don't think being from...
The place where they were from, pretty frat.
You can take a boat to your friend's house.
That's pretty dope.
He was Pork and Joey for a while,
so you know his chill-to-pull ratio is legit.
Pork and Joey.
He also thought that Dawson was kind of nerdy sometimes
because of all his movie stuff and everything.
So he doesn't like nerds.
I totally know all these characters, all of them.
Oh, really?
You're not familiar with these at all?
Well, you didn't do an episode of Brunch,
also on the Wash Media Network,
where you got to watch an episode of Dawson's Creek
and then not actually get it aired?
Yeah.
Did it happen to you too?
No.
Honestly, I would love it that happened to me, though.
But I am going to be on high alert
if they ask me to watch an episode of Dawson's creek oh i watched a movie last night
cool hand luke 1968 i think paul newman 63 68 67 somewhere 60s i think it's cool that you're
going back to the movies from your childhood and you're watching those for nostalgia purposes
pretty good movie man just getting non-stop yammed on so now i have to have to eat 51 hard
boiled eggs in an hour because he has the record now on. So now I have to eat 51 hard-boiled eggs in an hour
because he has the record now, the fictional character,
and I have to beat it.
Because I used to have it, remember, Will?
Cool Hand Luke ate 50?
50.
Why?
Because he said he could do it, and then people bet on it,
and he did it in an hour.
I don't know what's going on right now.
Why did a movie in 1968 feature a guy who's eating 50 hard-boiled eggs?
Paul Newman, man.
They were calling him Cool Hand Duke after that because of the dookie.
He probably took a big one, yeah.
His tum-tum had him injected.
What's this movie about?
He's in jail.
He's in prison, but it's like a farm prison.
It's like a remote prison, and they do chain gangs and stuff.
He escapes three different times from the prison.
But while he's there, he makes a lot of friends.
He's very well-liked, and he's just a – you have to go check it out, man.
It's a good movie.
Will, I'm going to tell you this.
I've seen it, and you've never seen a cooler hand than this Luke guy.
That's kind of the thing about him.
He got the nickname from a poker game.
I watched a – Crazy game of poker. I watched a crazy game of poker.
I watched a movie the other day.
You know what it's called?
Debbie Does Dallas?
It's called Numb Hand Dylan.
Okay.
Yeah, your hand was numb as well.
There's no such film.
I don't know.
No such film.
I don't know.
Anyway.
Numb Hand Dylan.
I have a final announcement to make today before we get into today's know. Anyway. Numb hand. I have a final announcement to make today
before we get into today's episode.
Okay.
Based on how we are recording today,
I do not know where we are on time,
which means that today,
in every episode we're doing outside of the studio,
I will not be doing timestamps
in the description of these episodes.
Randy, it's going to be up to you to give us one of these
if we're like 90 minutes in. Mic us if you don't have to do that randy you can just we're
currently at 20 minutes if you're wondering oh so we started right at 11 o'clock that's easy enough
uh wait it's 20 minutes in it looks like it's about mugsy o'clock right now actually mugsy
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The other day, guys, let me tell you a little story.
Let me take you a little trip down memory lane.
Tell us the story.
I was in my closet the other day.
I famously cleaned out my closet on Sunday afternoon.
Unfortunately, I did not get to tell that entire story on Monday's episode as we did not do that.
But when I was going through it, Sally said, are you going to go through your pants?
And I said, well, I don't have very many pairs of pants that I feel like I need to get rid of any.
But I'll go through them.
And I found an absolute treasure trove, boys, of Muggsy jeans.
Not only did I find that, I discovered an absolute gem
in my closet, which was
the dark gray denim
jacket that I have from Muggsy as well.
Fall can't come soon enough, my
friends. The guys at Muggsy have one mission
in life, to give every guy the confidence
to walk blindly into their closet, reach out,
and know whatever they pick will have them looking good and feeling
even better. You'll never have to shop anywhere else
ever again, especially because they just dropped that cool max denim that are
like air conditioners for your legs why don't we just wrap the studio in that right now i'm so glad
you brought that up i i think we've we've officially like reached out to muggy to see if they want to
do that should we just holler at mugsy and see if they'll let us record like tomorrow there like i
feel like they'd let us do that we have a guest in the studio like why why is there denim all over the walls in here oh that's cool max buddy oh yeah it's kind of like an air
conditioner for your podcast studio randy how would that look on camera yeah would it work
i mean it's mugsy so look great yep that's a good answer company man you can go from the backyard
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what's up weirdo that's not cool i didn't mean that so this is a little segment we're gonna call
was this a weird move by Dave?
And it actually occurred this morning.
I was going to go hit some, not hit, but some cardio.
H-I-I-T is how it's pronounced.
Oh, thank you.
I went to Lifetime this morning, as I try to do,
and I was going to do a little cardio.
And as I will often do, I will take a quick tinky break before I go out there.
I put my stuff in a locker, and then I go to the men's room in the locker room.
You're familiar with this.
And I walked in, and morning, especially early morning, is very busy.
That is when most of the stalls are in use.
Probably a lot of people doing what they should have done at home,
but they were in a rush.
So the handicap stall open,
the two other stalls in use,
and then the two urinals in use.
I walk in, just have to use the bathroom, have to pee pee.
I was like, you know what?
I'm just going to go.
I'll wait for a urinal.
I don't want to take up a stall, whatever.
And I go, and there's a guy who like was washing his hands.
He goes, hey, man, that one's open.
And I was like, I should have just said, I'll wait for this.
I just go, I panicked.
I just go, yeah, man, I like to leave that one open
in case somebody's got an emergency, you know?
And the guy, the guy like grabs his paper towel,
just kind of looks at me.
He goes, okay.
And then walked out.
And then I was like, is that, was that weird that I even said that?
Should I have just gone to the handicap stall?
What if a handicapped person needed it?
And I'm in there taking a pee pee.
Do you have guilt occupying a handicapped person needed it and i'm in there taking a pp do you have do you
have guilt occupying a handicapped stall uh no but here's the i will be completely honest with you
i don't think those bathrooms are the cleanest and oftentimes when i've gone in there to and
use a stall it looks like someone had a bad day or a bad morning and i was just like i'll just
wait the the 10 extra seconds and use the urinal.
And there is something, too.
There's a lot of people in there I see charge in there.
They're on a mission.
But will you take a handicap stall if it's the only one available
and you need to go to?
Yes.
Okay.
Will you?
Yeah.
But there are better people than us out there who don't.
Say it.
I don't know if I want to.
He's got something.
I don't know if I want to.
He's got something in the chamber right now that he's trying to.
If the only stall left is a handicap stall,
you should just take it unless you're going to be in there for
like 24 hours like just because people like might need more room because of a handicap doesn't mean
that they can't wait a couple minutes while you get a tink off because there's nothing else available
like it's you it's just like you shouldn't feel guilt because you're occupying something for a
short period of time where someone can walk out.
I agree.
But there are people who don't think this way.
And they're just like.
I understand.
I understand technically.
Like, okay, technically, should we be using it?
No.
But, like, what about.
I think the bigger assholes are the people that are at airports who sit in, like, the handicap boarding area.
Like, families will go sit there because it's like wide
open and i'm like i get it you're a family like i i have a kid too who's a psycho but at the same
time i don't really want to uh take up that because if like an old lady comes by with like a
walker and then i just look like an asshole who's sitting in her chair what if i won't take those
but i will take a handicap stall for a few minutes yeah i i feel like most people are on board with that i remember back in the pgp days we
we would get occasional submissions about like someone like yeah i was using the one at the
office i'd use all the time and then like one time like someone in a wheelchair tried to get
in there and i was using it and i felt like the worst person ever but then again they just have
to wait a few minutes unless you're just a total asshole who takes their time and like watches you know a fooling show in there or something
but yeah i don't i don't feel bad doing it but it does cross my mind every time i'm in there like
what if someone who actually needs it needs it and i feel like if i go in a handicap stall usually i
go in knowing it's a handicap stall and usually i operate in there knowing that i don't want to
get called out by somebody i'm not i don't have a huge fear of getting called out but i have enough of a fear
that i don't want to get called out have you guys seen the so there's a twitter account called evil
mopac and if you're not an austin person you might not know about this account but mopac is a highway
that runs through austin evil mopac is a popular twitter account and this person keeps documenting there's this gold bmw have y'all seen it no i actually muted evil mo pack a while ago because i thought they were
doing a little too much on the timeline there's this gold gold bmw that is i think i think he's
south awesome but he makes his he makes his way around is it like stock he bought it gold
it's like gold painted when i say gold i don't mean like oh? He bought it gold? Or is this like gold painted? When I say gold, I don't mean like, oh, that's like a gold.
I mean, it's like shiny.
Like it looks like.
Like a toy.
It looks like a bar of gold.
Like a gold bar.
You know what I mean?
It's shiny.
Anyway, doesn't have handicap tags, but he parks in handicapped spaces.
Backs in.
It's just blatant disregard.
And he works out at our gym,ave and i saw him there recently and i sent a i took a picture i sent it to evil mopac um to post
anyway i'm looking for is it on their tl recently he might he he may not have tweeted in a couple
weeks custom license plate i don't remember remember. But it's like presidential tent, windows, gold paint,
and he's just a total asshole.
Backing into the handicap spot.
Without a handicap tag.
Without tags is really egregious.
The back end.
The closest parking spot to the Wash Media headquarters
is a handicap spot.
And every single day, the mailman pulls
into it aggressively.
I mean, dude, no one is a
better back-end guy than him.
I actually respect how aggressively he pulls
into it, but every day I see him do it
even though I've never, like, there's no one that's gonna
do anything if he's parked there.
Every time I see him pull in, I'm like,
you gotta get out of there, dude. You're gonna get in trouble.
He is remarkably efficient with his mail delivery. He's a dog and then he's out of there
in a minute i see him walking down the street like a couple blocks over later in the day i'm like oh
you got your you got your car part done now you're just gonna hoof it like he's my mailman that's my
dude i like that guy that's a good mailman. He'll straight deliver our mail. He also sometimes wears off-brand hats.
I feel like that's bad boy shit.
You're not supposed to be wearing non-USPS hats.
Damn.
Oh, yeah, he does.
He's edgy.
He's an edgy mailman.
Dude, he's tight.
I bet Brett sees him, and Brett's like,
I want to be like that guy.
I'm going to go buy that guy's hat.
Yeah, yeah.
And then Brett buys something from like Idaho
I think we need to send Brett
I don't want to spend the money on this as a company
but I also don't want to have like
Brett get called a poser by somebody
I think we need him to go
take a trip to Jackson Hole
so that he can wear these shirts
and not steal valor from like real Jackson Hole people
wait where did he go?
I thought he went somewhere dope up there
he went to Montana, he went to yellowstone and
shit but like all his stuff is jackson hole j-hole j-hole's pretty tight you been i've been one time
it was fine i was there for like 36 hours you missed the squad yeah i got to sleep in uh i got
to sleep in a hotel room that overlooked a really beautiful parking lot who do the parking lots up
there are nice dude the parking lots are nice and it was fine though because the other room that overlooked a really beautiful parking lot who do the parking lots up there are nice dude the parking lots are nice and it was fine though because the other room that i could have
slept in uh overlooked the grand tetons so like i actually think i i came out pretty
you guys are talking about trying to see some grand tetons soon that's right that's right
hey i'm looking through mopac evil mopax Mopac's media. Dude, stop looking at it. Stop promoting this guy's account, dude.
They post so much.
I can't find it.
I was looking for the gold vehicle.
I refuse to follow niche Twitter accounts
that are evil versions of highways that I already hate.
That's just not something I want in my time.
It's a good account.
No, it's not.
It is.
I hate it.
Randy, you look like you got something.
You got to do the Austin Powers joke. I hate it. Randy, you look like you got something. I'm worried that you've been powers, Joe.
I was just thinking about Grand Tetons and made me think that my hometown is putting
a Twin Peaks in literally right next to a Hooters.
Fuck yes.
Why?
Wow.
Are they trying to have fights in the parking lot?
Let's go do a Tetons bar crawl.
That's a lot of Tetons.
Dude, so we're actually doing a breast draw crawl here in Indiana.
They have the closest Hooters.
It's got to be.
It's a Harbor Freight tools than like a Hooters,
and now they're putting a Twin Peaks in.
Oh, that's especially horny.
Just the way it goes.
Shout out Northwest Indiana.
Great menu.
There's going to be a bunch of dudes in Indiana
who buy boats when they don't need it
just so they can go to the Harbor Freight store
and then go to one of the two next?
How many guys are going to go from one to the other?
Like, what percent of the clientele
goes from Hooters to Twin Peaks?
I can tell you, if this was in, say, Arlington, Texas
around, oh, I don't know, 2007, 2008, 2009,
I can say that I have a group of friends,
golf buddies that would have absolutely done this.
Me included.
Wasn't above it.
Are there any absolute dog waitresses who are going to have a shift at each
that have that in them?
Wow.
They've got a very strict non-competes.
You can't just move over?
You can't do that.
It's a six-month deal.
Yeah, did you hear about Tanya?
She wants to go to the, what is it, the Twisted Kilt or something?
The Twisted Kilt.
That name's too creepy.
I'm happy to say that I've only been to one restaurant chain in my entire life,
and it's been Hooters.
I've never done the other ones.
She's hindering the transfer portal to go to Twin Peaks for Hooters.
She took her Tetons next door.
Stop. Stop. You're too next door. Stop, stop.
You're too-
No, I'm fine.
Yeah, you're too confident when you say Tetons.
It's like you've done this before.
Tetons.
Tetons is objectively fine.
Do you ever lie to the flight attendant
when she asks if you're capable
of operating the emergency exit?
I always say yes, and I'm like, dude, there's no way I'm figuring this out.
What do you do?
The instructions are on the thing.
Have you ever had a time where like,
you're looking at the people saying yes,
and you look over and you're like,
I don't want this dude in charge right now.
I fucking can't do this.
Yeah, this NARP's gonna kick this door open
in a pressure situation.
The whole plane survival depends on Will opening the hatch.
Yeah, it's like, dude, I don't't want him that would be a great curb skit yeah he actually has to like open it up it's like i just
want the extra foot i just said yes that would be a good curb episode like there's no way that in
those situations like whenever they're like and you know what to do with your baby i'm like start
nodding and i'm like me first but i know that i'm not gonna do me first like the first thing that i'm gonna think is like i need to save this kid i'm not
gonna put a mask on myself first while fritz is sitting there just gasping you have to i know
because if you pass out first then you're no help to the kid i'm probably gonna pass out out of fear
i don't know ma'am you better mask up player did you ever finish hijack which one here we go
the show yes i finished the show that show's awesome okay i i have several thoughts on hijack
one that would have never happened if i was on that plane two would have gone down a little
differently yep edris played himself out of the james bond part with his performance in this
well you think his performance is bad or it just doesn't translate to james bond i just don't think
that he has the james bond uh i don't think he's with it enough to be james bond we need a young
buck not to be an ageist or anything but i just think edris is a little too old for that okay
i don't think he's got the energy the energy level and kind of uh i don't know if this is the
right word but i'm gonna say it either way i don't know if he's got the je ne sais quoi oh shit the
moxie to be that bond i think he probably had it 10 years ago uh but number three uh my point of
that show is that it was one of the most it's probably top mount rushmore of entertaining shows of 2023 for me.
All right, I'll watch it.
Gosh, I got to set aside my classic movie journey that I'm on.
What's next?
You should get into Westerns.
I'm about to watch The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
Watch High Noon.
Let me know when you get into your Western shit.
I'll start doing Westerns with you, but I'm not watching three hours and 40 minutes
and going with the wind dog.
Spaghetti Western.
Oh.
Of course, you know why they're called that.
Italy.
That's right, David.
So what was it?
They recorded them in Italy to save money?
Or were Italians doing it just to make Western movies?
I thought it was just like it became like a super,
super popular genre in Italy. How much funnier would it be if every like showdown they did when they
went to go shoot each other like noodles started spraying out of the guns that's the dumbest thing
i've ever heard in my life big big meatballs come out of the guns i'm gonna throw a hitchcock in
there soon too yeah but like rear window he's fine dude shut
off spooky season be good time for a hitchcock a hitchcock they were filmed in italy though that
is probably the but anyway we're very popular over there i'm sorry cool wasn't that long ago
that like western culture was like a thing you know it still is a thing no but i'm talking like
those small towns dude yeah oh Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Like in the grand scheme of the universe.
You mean like saloon doors and shootouts in the street?
Dude, not that long ago, though.
I know.
I know.
This shit's going by.
Yeah, I hear you, dog.
Oh, my God.
You're shutting me with a ZT.
Oh.
Oh.
You shot Leonardo. Look how they massacred my boy
oh my god put your penny away right the pasta penne pasta he pulled up with a rigatoni
it could that could be his wagon name it could be tony's wagon it's the rig of tony
that's good no that's good no yeah no i saw there's an oregon i saw there's an oregon trail
series out no shit a lot of tragic stuff happened on the oregon trails to me it could be a movie or
something but i saw something i i'll be honest i'm not this is not me asking for recommendations as most recommendations i've already like seen the name of it and made a
decision internally of whether or not i want to see it like i'm having a real hard time selecting
stuff to watch lately i always got dysentery is that why they called you dysentery gary back in
the day yeah dude when you got the haunt that was the best part of that game yeah that everybody was
just playing that game i was just taking rabbits down.
A bear would come out of nowhere.
Dude, I was different.
I was forging rivers left and right, dog.
That's how I always die, because you're going straight through with the ox.
I drowned the whole family.
Yeah, like what?
The whole squad drowning.
We ain't actually drowning.
Let me just cross this river right quick.
I feel like dysentery is a tough way to go.
Yeah, so you just die of disinterest?
Yeah.
I think it's different.
You're just so not into it and aloof
that you just wither away.
This young man died of apathy.
He didn't care.
Truly sad.
He didn't care about shit.
Couldn't find anything he was into.
Very much like that fucker on the Love Island.
He just didn't want to be around.
He didn't want to be around anymore.
Yeah.
Scott?
Yeah, Scott.
Scott died of dysentery.
I'm considering dipping into the Scott episodes of Love Island USA
just to see if he does well for himself.
I'd imagine that a professional soccer player with
an accent and a and a face like his i would imagine he does okay for himself on the u.s version
he does have a beautiful face he's hot he's got great eyes he might he might have been boring and
like not interested in anybody but he was at least hot yeah all right dysentery is the infection of
intestines resulting in severe diarrhea with the presence of blood and mucus in the feces.
Oh, darn it.
I told you it's a tough way to go.
We've all been there, man.
We've all been there.
I don't know.
I don't think I've had dysentery.
This is pre-penicillin, I assume.
Who had Giardia?
Didn't someone have Giardia?
It was my roommate's dog like two years ago.
Rosie had it at one point.
I'm going to tell you what, Dylan.
It's nasty. I don't want to you what, Dylan. It's nasty.
I don't want to know what it is.
Is it worse than what I just described?
Is it worse than dysentery?
I don't know.
I've never had either.
Okay.
Very cool.
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Did you ever figure out that word you were looking for?
Is it je ne sais quoi?
Maybe vibrant?
How about that?
Okay. I was trying to keep it PGg-13 yeah i got you is it time to take a little trip to space oh play the sound effect randy make one up real
quick that's good all right this article is which will surely pull up, which I've read behind me.
Dude, thank you so much for preparing during the ad read.
I'm going to throw my Google Fiber under the bus.
Did you know, Dave, that there is a rare blue supermoon that will appear tonight?
Tonight.
It's blue?
Guess what color the blue supermoon is
it's on that lean rhymes ish guess what color it is well blue it's a real question wide open
that was wide open spaces was actually was it a neon moon is it neon blue what if i told you that
it's not even blue it's just a regular color moon you said it was blue it's it's called a blue super moon you know you know the phrase like the ice cream i think it's just blue double d-d-da
have you ever had blue moon ice cream no no it's just a moon and there's like these three guys who
have this like a little group of like street drummers that okay what if we had what if we
had numerous moons and they were all it was blue moon group tonight i'm about to teach y'all
something they're just up there banging on trash you can? I'm about to teach y'all something. They're just up there banging on trash cans.
If you can get a word in, you can.
I'm about to teach y'all something that I learned myself this morning.
That blue moons are blue?
You know the phrase, once in a blue moon?
Sure.
There are no actually blue moons.
There's the ice cream, though.
A blue moon is when a full moon appears for the second time in one month.
Wow.
That makes it a blue moon. Did y'all see the moon last night? What if Shawty just rolled through? Then could it be a full moon appears for the second time in one month. Wow. That makes it a blue moon.
Did y'all see the moon last night?
What if Shawty just rolled through?
Then could it be a blue moon?
Okay.
Only 3% of moons are blue moons.
That's how rare a blue moon is.
That's honest.
That doesn't seem that rare.
Like 3% is what?
We get nine a year.
Okay.
At least.
Here's the thing.
Around 25% of all full moons are super moons what hold on hold on sorry
i actually do want to know this start over 25 of all full moons are super moons what makes it a
super moon versus a full moon the term super moon refers to a full or new moon rising near or while
the moon reaches perigree its closest distance to Earth in its orbit around the planet. Wow, thank you for
making that so much more crystal clear for me.
You're my moon, blue!
So when a super moon is also
a blue moon, you get a blue super
moon, alright? Which just means
it's going to look like every other full moon you've
seen, but it's going to be bigger
and brighter because it's going to be
the closest that it gets to Earth. Do you get it's going to be cut closest the closest that it
gets to earth do you get it the second full moon of the month david the moon last night was bussing
i don't know if you saw that i was wondering no the moon the moon's been fire lately dude
that's because it's close to earth right now yeah i was on my porch the other night just
getting absolutely bit by mosquitoes you see this mosquito bite up here you guys see that john oh
no i saw yesterday i know it's huge it's huge if you feel bad about it it's bad i had one under my beard too uh but i was just
watching the moon that thing was cooking yeah it's gonna be cooking tonight for sure yeah i'll
go out there tonight the moon last night was straight up brazen tonight's gonna be a full
ass blue super moon and guess what if you miss it guess what idiot you can't get to the next one
until january of 2037 okay that's a that's when the next one until January of 2037. Okay.
That's when the next one's going to happen, David.
Well, you know.
I'll be 50.
I'll be 50 then.
You might want to catch it.
Yeah, okay.
You dumb idiot.
Maybe I'll catch it tonight.
You dumb.
You stupid dumb idiot.
Maybe I'll go down to...
Never mind.
I'll be old as fuck.
I'll go down to the saloon.
I'll be so old.
I don't think my brain can fathom how far the moon is
or how close the moon
is i feel like the moon is way closer than i think it is i'll be 53 years old how long does it take
them to if you took as if a crow flies there how long does it take to not an actual crow how long
does it take to actually get to the moon and lee they can't go that they can't leave that altitude
too much for a crow how long did it take india to get their module on the moon? I'm going to look this up.
Because I feel like it's mad close.
I feel like it's way closer than we give it credit for.
Won't the world end if the moon goes out of orbit?
I'm pretty sure you could fit every single planet in our solar system
between us and the moon.
The moon?
Really?
I don't believe that.
The moon is 238,900 miles from Earth.
Wow. Okay. I thought it was farther believe that. The moon is 238,900 miles from Earth. Wow.
Okay.
I thought it was farther than that.
239,000 miles from Earth.
That's not a big deal.
How far is Mars?
I don't think what Randy just said is accurate at all.
How far away is Mars?
I want everyone to hear this fact.
Say your fact.
I think you can fit every single planet in our solar system
if you butt-to-butt between us and the moon.
Isn't Jupiter a straight-up unit?
Like, as in, like, if they were right next to each other.
Jupiter's thick, right?
Well, to answer your question,
Mars is 231 million miles away.
So the moon's mad close.
Oh, yeah.
The moon...
You could almost just grab it.
Sorry, Randy.
I misunderstood.
I misunderstood your fun fact the first time could almost just grab it sorry randy i misunderstood i misunderstood your
your fun fact the first time that you relate it i would like to formally apologize for for
calling your facts what did you think forget will he doesn't know how big i thought you were saying
the moon was so far away that it was outside of our like technically outside of our solar system
i thought you meant that and i was like that is an insane thing to try to pass on
yeah i was like what are you talking about will to try to pass on. The moon is farther away than Saturn.
Yeah, I was like, what are you talking about?
Will doesn't respect space in its immense size.
So give him a break.
I respect space.
No, you don't.
No, you don't.
I apparently also saw that Saturn is going to be visible by this super blue moon, too,
if there's a bright speck by the moon.
Saturn is visible a lot of the time, actually. Is there a word about Uranus?
Yeah, there's a watching party tonight
down at the saloon really bring your own telescope i'm bringing your girl with me part of the reason
i get nervous about working on stuff one of the reasons i get nervous about working on stuff in
public is because yesterday in the comfort of my own home while working from home i spent about an
hour trying to make a dick saloon like graphic and like one of the taglines i had for the graphic was uh suck it till it's dry
meaning like a beer bottle you know and then i thought about like if someone walked behind me at
a at a restaurant like carve and saw my laptop open and i was doing that they'd be a little
confused and they're like so wait what do you guys do? I listen to podcasts. What is it about?
I listen to mainly finance podcasts.
What's it about, though?
Yeah, I listen to a lot of stuff about
planning for my financial future.
We're just general interest.
We're like that, for sure.
That's crazy.
I will go outside. My son famously
likes to go out on the moon.
So I'll bring him out and let him see it.
And you can tell him that old uncle, the original D-man, told you about it.
I'll tell him Dylan sent.
Is he going to be confused since this one's going to be blue
and the other one's haven't been?
I'm going to leave that part out.
Explain to him why it's not actually blue in color, though,
and tell him that I taught you about it.
They got to rename blue moons.
It only happens once in a blue moon 10 times a year
yeah no yeah you said three percent of the time three percent of full moons are blue moons remember
the blood moon oh dude people in stem are punching the air at my scientific knowledge you don't
respect space the way i do i don't i have to admit i don't i've got a very i've got a very important announcement uh i hope i'm not i hope i'm not jumping the gun
here but i had a very productive call with a with a ghost tour company last night i just want to
think it's a good time to share with the class what happened on this phone call basically i told
them what we do i told them about spooky season.
I said, we're in Austin.
You guys do an Austin ghost tour.
They do an Austin spooky pub crawl.
Do they have maybe an adult version?
No.
She specifically said, do you guys want the adult tour? And I was just a veiny-faced kid.
So all I'm saying is, I'm waiting to hear from their team,
but like we might be a go for a company goes to her.
Count me in for that,
David.
It's 90 minutes.
We'd stop at like three or four bars in between to get a little,
little Bev.
And then we'd hear about some ghosts.
So I'm into that.
I'm very excited about it.
Hi,
friend.
No ghosts.
No.
Is that it i thought you're doing like an ad read no okay just making a statement that i'm not afraid of ghosts hey the moon that's a bold statement by the way i just want to say this blue
super moon will appear until friday morning by the way so if you don't catch it tonight go back
out tomorrow night yeah dude Because it'll be there.
Randy, that goes for you too, buddy.
Might just catch it both nights.
Wow.
This dude's going to do a double feature.
This guy is a naughty boy.
You guys ever buy a movie ticket, like one,
and then stay and watch like three movies?
Yeah.
I mean, when I was in high school, probably.
No. Nope. The only time I've ever seen two movies in one theater in one day i saw the exact same movie
was there a chick involved yeah did you suck face she she had to cancel at the last minute for the
first one when the squad was already there and then she was like do you want to go to the late
showing with me and i'm like oh obviously i want to go to the late showing with you you know it
was out of late so you know your boy hung out did you know your boy
hung out did your tongue fall out and roll up no eyes popped out no i'm pretty sure i'm mosted
didn't i'm pretty sure we didn't even make physical contact one time that entire night
yeah that's the way i like it i had a crush on this girl for so long and i sat next to her to
movies and i was trying to like put a move on her the entire the entire time finally like the end credits start rolling i'm like oh i've tried to make a move
and it i got swallowed you went for a credit every girl loves it when you try to make out
with her while everyone's getting up from their seats yeah everyone's like walking looking at you
as they walk by i don't even know what happened in the movie i was so nervous the whole time it
was a joke man oh yeah that's what i thought rockbox is the animal you should have numbed
that hand before you went this is probably attention this is probably eighth grade
oh wow dude we get it you fucking chilled the pull ratio was sick in eighth grade i didn't pull
you put off uh you put off blowing the ear vibes what like you think that's a thing to do blow on
the ear yeah i'll nibble on it though i'm just kidding i'm gonna do that stop it i don't like
i don't like nibble i don't do that i'm just kidding. You got to stop it. I don't like nibble. I don't do that.
I'm just kidding.
You got to stop that.
Yeah, you made it weird in my home.
You don't have to deny it.
I can't deny it.
This is my domicile. Okay, now you said you nibble on ears.
Then you said you don't do it.
What do you do?
Do you nibble on the ear a little bit?
Will you nibble on the ear?
I don't put teeth on earlobe, if that's what you're asking.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, I tend to stay away from earlobes in general
just not a not a nice feature of the human body and don't they continue to grow or something
like gravity yeah your nose it's cartilage dog right yeah you idiot i don't know don't listen
to me every scientific fact i've said today is incorrect yeah you guys are not in stem that's
very clear not in didn't you say the moon was like really close it is close
just a few hundred thousand miles away that's it man let me just let me just run up there real
quick in space in space terms it's nothing it's nothing it's so close it's like a top skip and a
jump it's like i could just lasso it and pull it in but i can't remember the moon in that smashing
pumpkins video tonight tonight it was very cool that's a reference I'm sure everyone's familiar with.
We don't have to talk about it, though.
I know what you're talking about, but I don't know
if I can expand on it much more than you just said.
One of my favorite videos in the 90s.
Anywho.
Anyway, check the moon out and think about me when you do it.
Hey, my space bar contribution,
it's not really that good.
There's a scientist saying that we found
life on Mars in the 70s,
and then we accidentally killed it.
It was like bacteria, and the tests we did killed it.
So we might have just exterminated a future species or some shit.
So that's crazy, yo.
After the photos that recently came out of Mars,
I don't understand why any of us would want to ever live there.
It looks fucking miserable.
Did y'all know that in 2019, we had a super blood wolf moon?
Do it, Dave. there it looks fucking miserable john know that in 2019 we had a super blood wolf moon do it dave do you want to know what that is i don't want randy to start howling a super blood wolf moon is when a total lunar eclipse and a super moon are combined
in 19 2019 wasn't that when trump stared at it no that was a solar eclipse oh i don't know the difference well lunar is moon solar dude that eclipse was solar it's okay yeah good job will uh will the
guy that we just saw walk by it's my neighbor it's the grandpa he's i think he's well into his
80s he's from nepal and the dude is an absolute machine. The dude walks around town.
He jogs around town, and he's just an absolute...
Is he one of the retired Sherpas that would usher people up to the top of Everest in Nepal?
I don't know, but he...
A lot of those guys are quitting.
He absolutely is the most in shape person in their 80s that I've ever seen.
Have you guys seen this?
No.
A lot of the dudes that used to help people climb Everest are quitting.
Climate change. no a lot of the a lot of the the dudes that used to help people climb everest are quitting climate change so it's getting more and more dangerous because ice is melting oh shit he was saying that's not real yeah oh yeah you said it's a host right i mean yeah you're a v-back guy um
and then the other reason was that uh it's become like a tourist thing everyone wants to climb
everest and they're like we're not going to take all these fucking narps up there.
What's up with those bodies that they can't get down?
That shit weirds me out.
Yeah.
What?
People who have died above a certain altitude, you can't bring them down.
They're just up there frozen.
And who knows?
They could come back to life one day if it warms up.
Remember that caveman lawyer?
He was just a caveman. dated reference but funny if i died on everest climbing it that high i don't think i'd want you guys to take me down you just want to stay up there
okay we won't yeah i made my bed i literally made my bed it's not tragic if you don't let
your love let a player climb everest dude i could i could i read that crack hour book i was into it okay i'd rather i would rather go to everest than go to antarctica
i'll put it that way antarctica looks fucking boring mid cool oh it's ice everywhere really
good view of the stars though no yeah but you can get that anywhere dog no you can't bfd dave
you're the fucking space bar guy.
I can see stars from other places, too.
I'm not trying to go to Antarctica just to see the fucking stars.
You go to Matt's El Rancho on a Friday, you'll see some stars, some podcast stars.
Dude, some of the best stars I've ever seen have been out in Texas.
Alpacas Way?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, Texas ain't the worst for star looking.
Nah.
Best I've ever seen was Scotland, though.
Never seen anything like it.
Blew my mind.
Oh, David.
Fucking ruffled my kilt.
Tilted it even.
Tilted kilt.
Tilted kilt is too creepy.
I'd draw the line there.
Why?
I don't know.
It's just like...
Is that because of a boner?
Is that why it's tilted?
No, it's...
Oh, is it?
I think... I don't know. What else, it's... Oh, is it?
I think, I don't know.
What else would it mean?
Is du-
Oh, I didn't think about that.
I thought the waitresses wore them in like-
Oh, yeah, it's tilted.
Yeah, that's why it's tilted.
Isn't it for guys?
Yeah.
Yeah, but I know all the girls were in like the plaid skirts, so I just figured that was
like a-
Because they bend over?
Yeah.
Is it a kilt if it's on a woman?
I was like, God fucking crazy.
I don't know.
I'm going to look up the technology.
I don't know.
We've discovered something here.
We need to get to the bottom of it.
There was a guy in high school.
He was a senior and I was a junior who wore a kilt one day.
He was like, oh, it's kilt guy.
Cool.
Dude, I get it though.
I think if kilts were more socially acceptable
in places like Texas
where it's just so damn hot
in the middle of the summer, i think i might my vibe with one uh they're yeah oh yeah they're wearing
little plaid skirts and who was like man we have the best slogan ever can you scroll up david
who's like we have the best slogan ever ever we need to register trademark this a cold beer never
looks so good like that's not a
good slogan it says it's the best looking pub you've ever seen i was trying to figure out how
what this meant and i found an urban dictionary uh entry would you like to hear it yeah let's hear
an awesome bar and restaurant has smoking hot babes and small plaid skirts with great boobs
and as good as hooters great if boobs? If not better. I hate this.
Great boobs or boobs?
Boobs.
Yeah, I don't know.
I'm just... Torny.
I'm sorry if you are an employee or an investor or owner of a Tilt-and-Kill.
I'm just not going.
Do they have Scottish fare on the menu?
Can you get some haggis there?
Is it haggis?
Can you get some neeps and tatties or whatever?
You can get the T-tons.
I think actually that's what they make their money on, the neeps and the tatties or whatever you can get the tea i think actually that's what they make their
money on the neeps and the tatties they did an undercover boss i need to go see that one
there's one in colleen if you want to go home of the kangaroos oh okay you want to do a little
road trip i don't think so oh they got the irish nachos the pub nachos they've got a pub pretzel
will i know you're a pretzel guy like I am.
And they've got other fair, Scottish fair,
like, I don't know, Buffalo wings and garlic Parmesan wings.
Everybody garlic Parmesan guy.
Parmesan's a little too much for me on the wings.
Whatever, dude.
Is this Zach Johnson's story?
Is this an ad read for Nutrafol?
Or is this like a thing?
So that would have been a good tie-in.
No, I don't know if you guys saw
any of his Ryder Cup press conference
where he gave the picks, the captain's picks.
He's the captain of the Ryder Cup, Team America.
But his hair is shockingly voluminous.
And as a guy who's been following Zach's career
since the Iowa days,
he had something done.
Good for him.
Yeah.
Can you tell what's been done
based on what you know about the different methods?
Yeah, here.
I don't know if you've seen it.
I have.
Okay.
I have seen it.
It's a full restoration. It's a full hairl hairline restoration the top which was the real problem for him back in the
day uh is now completely uh covered in i don't know if maybe they use some camera tricks here
to help out our guy zach but yeah he definitely got some kind of um follicle restoration in preparation for his captaincy,
which is kind of hilarious.
So is he going to go no hat
on the course?
You got to think he's going to rock a hat
at some point.
Is he retired?
He's not retired, right?
He still plays.
He's young.
What?
He's young.
I know.
But he's a Ryder Cup captain.
Traditionally not young men. How old is Zach Johnson? That means he's not playing. He's just. I know. But he's a Ryder Cup captain. Traditionally not young men.
How old is Zach Johnson?
That means he's not playing.
He's just the captain.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, his services were not needed this year.
He's 47.
Okay.
Okay.
47, getting a little sprinkle up there.
Do we ever wonder if wearing a hat on the course all the time for him
might have taken some hair off.
Is that a thing?
I've read that that's a myth.
My mom used to tell me that when I was a kid
because she just wanted to see my hair.
She's like, you're going to go bald.
I know that it's been considered a myth,
but I still believe that it might be a thing.
I think it might be a thing.
The way that my brain works tells me
that constant friction on something will make it go away.
Maybe.
I can't help but think that. There might be something there. I don't know. Constant friction on something will make it go away. I can't help but think that.
There might be something there.
I don't know.
Constant friction on something will make it go away.
Interesting.
Like your Cheetos.
Burn a hole right through them.
There it is.
I support Zeej in this.
Good for him, man.
Hey, Brooks Koepka is like 30% more likable with the shag coming out of the back of the hat.
I just want to point that out, too.
It's amazing what that can do for somebody.
When does the Ryder Cup start?
A few weeks.
September.
Or is it October?
I don't fucking know.
We didn't even go the whole way.
You have a laptop.
It's September 29th.
I thought maybe you knew it off the dome.
That's why I asked.
No.
Cool, cool, cool. I was too busy thinking about the future of my hairline yeah yeah i hear you shout out neutrophil i got it in the pantry that's sick can i get one can you hit
a player with some no you have just as much as i do i'm not gonna go out for lunch today i'm just
gonna go grab something from your fridge that's cool we got leftovers what kind i got i'm gonna
do a tuna melt don't tell me it's
piccata. Do you want a tuna melt? Maybe.
What do you got back there?
I got mayonnaise.
I got cheese. I got
bread. What are the leftovers? I got tuna.
Oh, I don't know. I got to look.
I think there might be like a ziti or something.
No, it's not a ziti. I don't know what it is.
There's just a bunch of stuff
because I was going over the weekend that Alyssa and her mom who's here like ate or did not eat and so it's just chilling
in there i did have leftover sammy's piccata when i got home sunday it was phenomenal okay
surprised she gave you the gift of leftover piccata i am too i am too. It's time.
How's the song go again?
I'll sing it.
Do, do.
Do, do.
Do, do.
Welcome to Wilmonds.
Do, do.
That's just the power of love.
Welcome to Wilmonds.
I thought you were doing In The Club.
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Yeah, that's a great point.
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If I'm you, I'm hollering at those watermelon johns
because they taste good.
Is that your fave?
That's my fave.
I'm a strawberry boy.
I don't care.
No one asked.
Okay.
What are you doing this weekend, Dylan?
Ooh, thanks for asking.
A big weekend for me, actually.
Friday, I am moving.
And it's going to...
Yeah, I'm taking Friday off.
Spoiler alert.
I won't be around because I'll be moving all day.
You and who?
Are you enlisting anybody to help?
Maybe, I don't know, people in the 18 to 22 demographic?
Actually, if you go a little
younger actually the high school honks are coming by oh okay they're actually they're skipping class
they're skipping school friday to come help me move so you're not just gonna throw brett in the
back of your u-haul and make him slam into the sides the uh the hiring the the moving service i
hired is uh the moving kings actually the moving kings they're very highly rated on yelp so better better
reviews than the the honks uh yeah yeah these are like you just don't want blood on your furniture
is that i don't want hunk blood i want blood free environment yeah you're such a you could
have done all the content with the honks but you had to go with the reputable one cool man
and then uh yeah and then sat Saturday I'm watching football, man.
Football is officially here.
Texas plays Rice.
Should be light work for the horns.
You going to go watch it at the AMC Theater?
Maybe.
That sounds awful.
That didn't sound awful.
A movie theater.
Just watch it at home.
Yeah, I'll be watching it at home.
Assuming I get everything set up in time to enjoy it at my house.
If not, I'll go to a bar or a friend's house house you guys probably won't invite me over so i'll go somewhere else
um fair yeah then i get parks midday i'll totally invite you over to watch college football with me
i get parks midday saturday and it's gonna be chilling man at the new crib
i'm gonna be over will's just watching college football.
Dude.
Y'all should text me.
Dude, I love watching college football.
I'm going to watch all college football.
Yeah, I love watching it too.
Yeah, it's fun.
I want rice in this game because of Clyde.
Okay.
I don't think rice is going to be very good.
Okay.
Sounds like you guys are overlooking him.
Based solely on the fact that they're Rice
feeling like a trap game
this dude's overlooking Rice
it's the first game of the season
you can't even throw the record books out
because they don't got any brother
they're not known for their football prowess
y'all got Bama next week right
be a real shame if Texas was looking ahead to Bama
and got upset by Rice
the Owls
I know it would really upset you if they got beat by Rice ahead of Bama.
It would be fucking hilarious if that actually happened.
Yeah, I don't see it happening, but it is possible.
Have you seen their quarterback?
Yeah, he's a former five-star.
What's his name?
Chase Rice.
JT Daniels, former five-star.
Went to Georgia, USC, West Virginia.
He went to probably three other schools. And finally, he's at Rice. He's Daniels, former five-star. Went to Georgia, USC, West Virginia. He went to probably three other schools.
And finally, he's at Rice.
He's been everywhere, man.
It's good.
It's good.
Real good.
I was on the highway, man.
Yeah, that too.
Anyway, that's my weekend.
Hopefully, I get to see you guys.
You won't.
Not because I'm avoiding you.
I'll be in Duncanville,ville texas you could go
up to duncanville dude monday off yeah you want to go watch uh the oh six a state champions monday
i have my second fantasy football draft live auction dude you are in so many freaking leagues
i'm in two leagues yeah it's double the amount i'm in so that should be fun i'll tell uh eugene
you said hi i'll goose him for you give him a goose and for me uh yeah i'm gonna be up in duncanville i'm just gonna
gonna do a little swimming a little pool action with the kid and having a good time maybe looking
for uh a quick turnaround res saturday night uh al and I. But going to be fairly low-key.
Might try to catch a Panthers game while I'm up there.
I don't know where they play.
Carolina?
No, the Duncanville Panthers.
So it's up to Colin Simmons for me.
Yeah, I'm sure he'll be a hot commodity.
I bet he'll take some time to come over and talk to me.
I could probably maybe get, like, press credit, a media pass or something.
But what am I going to do? Just down there in the sideline walking around that's so embarrassing i already
did that at the state game he's having no pad out just taking notes i i want people to think i'm a
scout yeah i'm gonna just wear like a bunch of um texas state gear people are oh shit that's the
that's the two states you gotta show out for that guy over there in the state i'll photoshop you a pass and everything that guy knows gj kinney uh but yeah gonna be
gonna be a good time uh will nothing uh my wife is uh eight months pregnant right now and uh she
is uh very um pregnant in need of help uh around the house. And so my life is a lot of doing things that are helping her at this point.
And so there's a little talk about the greater family of Sally going to Matzl Rancho.
It's a little pre-football game thing on Friday.
Have to admit that going to Matzl Rancho during one of the hottest
streaks we've ever been in as a state
combined with
the game the next day combined with
just being a Friday at Matzl Rancho.
And with an eight-month pregnant wife.
Just doesn't sound great to me. So I'm going to try
to pivot that into something else.
Maybe a different trip to Matzl Rancho
over the weekend when it isn't the peak, most
busy time of the entire year?
Holler at me.
Why don't you try to pivot?
Get the fam to go to Tilted Kilt.
I would just love, I don't know,
if we just didn't go to the busiest place on Earth
during the busiest time.
Wouldn't it be fun?
No.
You should go to the Kilt, bro.
I'm not going to the fucking Kilt, David.
Go by yourself to the Kilt.
You could probably.
And you know what Saturday is. Hoo, hoo saturday is that's his owl sound dude major
shots for the rice owls objectively dope bird my favorite texas better cover their back doors
because they're on watch oh for the owls my friends what's that line i wonder yeah i bet you
will yeah i'm sure you're wondering i'm sure you're wondering. I'm sure you're wondering, my friend.
Hey, read this image.
Oh, I've already been reading this.
Yeah.
Don't read this.
I got loud?
Yeah, what is it?
Alternate.
Okay, it's a picture of JFK.
I believe the day he was killed,
but he's holding weapons in this one,
a rifle and a pistol.
And it says, alternate timeline wherefk wasn't caught lacking low-key he was kind of caught lacking though yeah i mean
he had security allegedly he wasn't watching his six man he might have been slowing down the vehicle
but i wouldn't have hired uh the security once they didn't have a job after uh he died
yeah i mean that didn't look good on the resume it's an offer people are like what's this gap in
your resume oh i let the president die yeah so about that um we yeah we let the you know it was
kind of a company-wide uh issue but we let the leader of the free world um uh get shot in the
head in the public space yeah we let him go top down going through one of the most hostile um parts of the country for him but yeah he took his top off why yeah not only that but his wife
was right there and he died in her arms so yeah so yeah i'm but i'm a good employee uh i show up
to work every day bright eye and bushy tailed i'd love to uh help your company so like what
did you learn from that experience like how have you improved you know it's hard to get blood out of an el camino it wasn't an el
camino how do we know other pics because it's just i know what el camino looks like that was not an
el camino i don't know it could have been an el camino they're half car half truck they're so sick
i had a i had a pledge brother who drove a Rodeo Camino. They're awesome.
Shout out to Ross.
Different Ross.
Okay.
He's actually a tall fellow.
Pretty funny.
Did he put on muscle pretty quickly like Hot Ross?
No, not that I remember.
It's crazy.
Does Ross of the Ross Ball podcast know that we've started to fetishize him on our podcast?
He'll know soon enough.
We should let him know.
No, I'd rather him just figure it out eventually.
If you're out there and you listen to both,
please don't immediately go to Ross and be like,
hey, these guys are getting a little H about you.
But his arms are perfectly muscular.
Good-looking dude.
Facts.
You're getting H.
I wish we were getting HVAC at the office.
It's facts.
Yeah, it's new unit season.
I prefer when we can use our office.
We're going to have to get a new unit unless
somebody's got a beat on some coils.
Oh, are you doing that surgery
that the dude from last week was doing
for your new unit?
David?
I'm doing surgery
on a grape this weekend.
You're not taking your penis back to 18 years old?
You're talking about the great Brian Johnson.
I am.
All right.
Good podcast, man.
Yeah, Dylan's over it.
All right, cool, man.
Dylan's tired of sitting on the couch.
Okay.
All right.
Hard life.
Fun stuff.
Bye.
Hit the music, Randy.