Circling Back - Masters Invites & The Shower Draft
Episode Date: January 4, 2023Back in the saddle again. To kick off the new year, we do it all: The Shower Draft, a look at how Scott Stallings almost missed his Masters invite, Around The Horny segment about Louisiana and Panera,... and our first-ever Willmon's Chill Sitch of the Week featuring Jimmy Buffett and Miles Teller. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low as $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel — www.youtube.com/circlingback Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (12:00) Recapping This Christmas in Fun (29:15) The Masters Invitation Mishap (40:00) Around The Horny: Panera & Louisiana (50:00) The Shower Draft (1:10:00) Willmon’s Chill Sitch of the Week Support This Episode’s Sponsors Rocket Money: www.rocketmoney.com/circling Squarespace: www.squarespace.com/steam (STEAM for 10% off your purchase of a website or domain) Athletic Greens: www.athleticgreens.com/circling (FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase) Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
All right, we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the people cave.
My name is Will DeFreeze.
To my left, David Person Roth.
I was wondering if the People Cave was going to see 2023,
and it did.
It's right off the bat.
Hey, I was signing up for a haircut
at my local Supercuts establishment,
and it reminded me that there are a couple guys in here who...
More on that when I get my intro, which hopefully is as good as your intro.
Okay.
I didn't know I was supposed to bring it up.
No, you are. I'm just ready to talk about it. Yeah.
Alright. Well,
very Shannon and Skip start here. We're off to...
Yeah. What the f**k are you guys talking about?
Yeah. I don't know. I didn't know y'all were gonna...
I'm confused because Dave signs up for haircuts. He doesn't get appointments.
He signs up.
I sign up.
It's been a fine couple of minutes of this episode.
The gentleman will yield his time.
Okay.
Dylan Chivary?
I don't know what's going on.
I don't either.
I truly have no clue why Dave stopped his train of thought.
I misunderstood.
I thought I was cucking a bit.
No. You're talking about our bet, right? Yeah. Yeah. I misunderstood. I thought I was cucking a bit. No.
You're talking about our bet, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I didn't know that.
Okay.
I forgot all about it,
and I just realized it this morning.
I was like, wait.
No, no, no.
So thank you for the intro, Will.
It wasn't as good as Dave's.
Sorry.
I mean, you have to understand.
Like, call me a children's toy
because I'm rattled.
I went and got my hair cut
several days ago. call it five days ago
i was in there and i was talking to t and i said t i gotta talk to you about something that will
and i gonna come in for in a little bit and i was like hey can you do like a like a power fade
she goes show me what you're talking about so i kind of talked about a little bit and
i don't know if i like her a picture, but I said,
can you do like a fade-fade with like lines and all that?
She goes, do you want a design in your head or do you just want the lines?
I said, just lines, I think, unless we want to get crazy with it.
I don't know.
She said, I can do it.
She said, all I need is for you to show me a picture of what you guys want
and I'll fade you all up.
Okay.
The agreement, I think we should agree that we show
her the same picture okay i thought you guys were gonna go to a barber shop like uh i'll do whatever
i'll do whatever if i can support t i'm gonna support yeah like if i'd feel bad getting my
haircut somewhere else other than you know the person who's been doing it for the last seven
years but um i think maybe we should just have her come to the office and do it you
think she'll do that no on camera no i think she's got enough business she doesn't need to go
hopping into people's offices and when i might have to grease those palms i know like we might
have to double up on that price to get our fades yeah yeah i i'm not like dreading getting it
but i'm certainly not feeling ready and And I don't like saying that.
I've been enjoying having some longer hair lately.
It's been feeling good.
I might go ahead and try to do like a pencil thin beard too while I'm at it.
Just to really lean into the douchebag area of it.
You're not that far from it right now.
I know.
Yeah, you're already a huge douche.
That's unfortunately facts. Dylan Chivry, noted douche. Okay. You're not that far from it right now i know yeah you are you're already a huge douche that's unfortunately facts dylan shivery noted douche okay you're not a douche well yeah i have you're
kind of a douche i have douche tendencies i think if you have a podcast you're a douchebag yeah it's
kind of hard to convince someone you're not when you have a podcast that's on that's that's untrue
that's untrue how do you guys even money? Think about all the science podcasts out there.
Those people aren't douches.
The science douche.
There's something inherent about like people care about what I have to say that's like douchey, you know?
I don't know.
We at least started a blog before that.
That's true.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Man, how's everyone doing?
First free episode.
First on the main feed in like a couple weeks here.
I'm very foggy.
I'll be honest.
It felt good to have a little break.
It felt nice.
Yeah.
We're absolute grinders.
People don't...
People give a shit for like, you know, having that podcast job.
But like going to the stew every day and trying to drop that heat, you need a break sometimes.
There's pressure on on dropping heat i
still think we should do a summer break at some point but i think a rant uh yeah maybe a maybe
three week long breaks a year i think i think it helps i think it helped me like actually care more
no i mean it gets it definitely like um improves the quality of the show, I think.
I guess maybe today will be the test of it.
What about our listeners, though,
who have to go a whole week without us three times a year?
Like, I feel for them.
We still do four episodes.
No, there's no, like, if you listen to every single episode
and you complain that we haven't done more,
I'll listen to that.
If you haven't heard every episode
and you're complaining that we took off a week,
I'm not going to listen to that.
If you listen to every single episode, let's hear from from you i'm very curious how many people never miss an episode
because even on my favorite podcasts i miss episodes i miss a lot of episodes
i bet there are a couple thousand people who never miss episodes never
i mean you might miss just fire like we're doing right now yeah you can't do you can't
afford that you there's there could be one little bit that lives on for the next four years and
they're not going to know the origin man i mean we have we have ethan 420 who left a review on
december 27th he must have been bored at work he must have been bored at work he was like all right
i'm gonna go review. Okay.
He said, long-time listener.
Been listening since the Postgrad Problems podcast episodes on SoundCloud.
Huge fan of the pod and how far you guys have come.
That's a true day one toucher slash backer.
Yeah.
We released that first episode.
I remember it got like 5,000 listens.
And we were like, I don't know if that's good.
I don't know if that's bad.
I don't know what to do. I just remembered that the nickname Toucher was so great.
It was good.
It was messed up.
Yeah, you a Toucher, dude?
You a Toucher?
We also got one from Scarftown.
Okay.
He did something I hate, which he said, love him,
but he put the apostrophe on um at the end of the word.
Ooh, that's bad.
Yeah, it's like, what? What are you doing right idea wrong normally i'm not normally i'm not in the camp of people who like to scorch people for
their bad grammar when they're leaving us reviews but he gave us a one star after saying he loved
us and he said but yeah that happens apostrophes man no one knows how to use them anymore maybe he
was just preparing for the uh uh thrashing he was going to get
for his grammar.
He intentionally did it.
It's like a meta review bit.
It's driving me insane.
Like, I know...
Was that an accidental one star?
I don't know.
Because he loves us.
There's a big discourse
going on right now
on Twitter about
sneakers,
new balances,
350s,
your 550s,
those kind of things.
Are they choogygy again every single
person that is talking about this on twitter is referring to them as like new balance 550s
oh no but they're putting an apostrophe between the 550 and the s and it's like stop it we don't
need to be doing this possessive like 5550s shoelaces colorways okay that makes sense
people are just dumb ds like and when people do
the years that's like oh yeah that no that was kind of a 2000s thing what are they saying about
the new colorways though like is that an issue at all y'all have to understand i don't have an
issue with that word because it actually is a beneficial to describing things what new what
word colorway yeah oh i'm the one who called oh you are oh
not dave dave's dave's fine with that yeah no i'm fine with that word i think i think there's
definitely a place for that word it's just a little hype beast for me yeah i agree and and
your exposure to it is very much through that yeah and i i should i'm i'm too choogy to use
that word i haven't i don't really like using it but i don't have an issue with it my neighbor's
a sneaker head and when i snuck that in there one time, I could kind of just feel like a slight nod of head.
You're one of us.
He's like, okay, you dabble.
Like, yeah, just recreationally.
What's the sentiment around the new 550s?
Nothing.
The sentiment.
So Brett's old boss.
You know how Brett used to work for a media company in New York City?
No.
Which one?
I think they also have bars.
It's called Barstool.
They sell stools? It's, I think they also have bars. It's called Barstool. They sell, they sell, it's a barstool company.
And I don't, was, did you work there too?
Because his old boss's name was Dave.
No, I never worked there.
So.
I did apply though.
He did, he did a video and he was getting roasted for his footwear
because famously these, these new balances are on people's outlists this year.
They were even on Barrett Dudley's outlist on retail therapy,
but people have since been jacking his shit talking about Barrett.
Man, okay.
New Balances, it's cyclical.
They go from being cool to choogy to cool to choogy over and over again.
Can I mansplain New Balance popularity to you right now?
I would love for you to.
To be clear to you, New Balances are still cool,
but those styles are being considered on their way out.
But overall, New Balance is in a wonderful position.
What about the old school gray frat stompers?
He's thinking of the 993.
Frat stompers are still in per the internet.
Everything I'm saying is per the internet,
not my personal opinion.
There's an old TFM that I'm not going to remember exactly, but it makes me laugh.
It's like the glow of – you know how the N is like reflective?
It's like the glow of the N is running across like the frat house lawn at 1 a.m. when the cops show up or something.
It's really funny.
That's nice.
It paints a picture.
Yeah.
That's nice.
It paints a picture. Yeah.
I used to go into the
WordPress on TFM and go through
submissions of one-liners and just approve them
randomly
and be like, how'd these idiots miss this one?
This one is great.
No offense to the PGP one-liners, but they weren't nearly as
entertaining as the TFM one-liners.
They were really, really strong for a while.
Then I think all the material got used up
and they got cold. We got some big shit today first and foremost yesterday we did exactly five
minutes on patreon yesterday's episode is totally free to everybody it's a public episode we figured
it was the first of the year might as well give the people a nice little treat if you are interested
in our patreon go check it out you can sign up for just $5 a month,
or if you want to go opt-out and get two new episodes every week on top of it,
it's just $10 a month.
But exactly five minutes where our listeners submit prompts
for us to break down over five minutes.
What?
What, Dylan?
He did it again.
What?
I don't even want to say.
What?
He got a gram off two minutes ago.
I don't care.
I don't care.
I would like it if...
I have two requests for Randy.
One is to move his desk.
And two, stop getting grams off mid-pod.
This one's really something.
And what's annoying about it is that he is delay...
Like, Randy's biggest thing is like, push the YouTube.
Push the YouTube.
And he distracts us from pushing our YouTube channel.
To be fair, he didn't bring it up.
He didn't bring it up, though.
Dylan's the one on Instagram.
He knows I'm a sucker for this shit.
I got to stop.
Should the producer be on Instagram mid-pop?
Answer that question, David.
Answer that question.
I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt that he had it loaded up and ready to press send or whatever the button is.
But maybe that's not true.
If he's over there editing photos, throwing a filter on them, like the kids are doing.
Yeah, he has it in the chamber before he sits down in that seat.
He just wants to hit that Randy button.
The great Randino.
I'm not going to look.
Don't.
I'll look at it eventually, Randy, but not right now.
Sorry. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. Yeah, this actually is more on you. I'm not going to look. Don't. I'll look at it eventually, Randy, but not right now. Sorry.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have.
Yeah, this actually is more on you.
I'm sorry.
You got to get your head out of your ass.
Trying to promote the Patreon for once.
Hey, the Patreon is fucking fire.
Shut up.
If you don't sign up, you're just a total.
You weren't even listening to me talk about it.
You're a total dumb, dumb idiot.
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your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance d Dylan, what'd you do this break?
Thanks for asking, Will.
You guys got something you guys want to share with the class?
I think Dave looked at the post. I've looked at the post.
Yeah.
And it's so not what I thought.
I thought he was going to do like a 2022 recap.
And no, he didn't.
I'm the only one who stayed in town this break.
Didn't leave.
Had a wonderful little Christmas at the house.
Had the kids with us.
Had some family members over.
Did a nice Christmas Eve dinner.
We had a little brunch the next morning.
It was really wonderful.
Had a great time with the family for Christmas.
On the nights we didn't have the kids,
Peyton and I stepped out a bit.
We went and got dinner together.
Just got in a little bit of wine here and there.
Pretty wonderful.
Plenty of eggnog.
By the way, I learned a homemade eggnog recipe,
and it's absolutely fire flames.
Sally made homemade eggnog for the first time this year,
and I enjoyed it. I very much enjoyed it. It is. It was weirdly because, was there an eggnog for the first time this year, and I enjoyed it.
I very much enjoyed it.
It was weirdly because...
Was there an eggnog shortage that we weren't familiar with?
We went to the store one day,
and they had no eggnog anywhere in sight.
What's an eggnog?
Eggs.
Eggs.
Cream.
Brittany and I went to Denver recently,
and we went to this place called Death & Co.
Not to be confused with Dead & Co.
Death & Co. is a cocktail bar and restaurant,
and we we tried
this uh stuff called vintage eggnog and it blew our minds so i learned how to make it and i don't
know if it's as good as what we had in denver and some slightly different ingredients but it was
still absolutely incredible anyway are you a rum guy or a whiskey guy in your eggnog oh my gosh
this recipe had bourbon, cognac,
rum,
and this stuff called rainwater Madeira.
Don't even know
what the hell that is.
I don't...
The liquor store
down the street had it.
Four different liquors.
Are you kidding?
I'm officially out.
There's too much shit
in this eggnog.
A lot.
There's a lot.
There's too much shit.
I'm officially the person
that just wants to go
to the store,
get one thing of eggnog,
and then a bottle of something,
pour it in,
stir it in stir it
drink it each each serving had one whole egg in it like one whole egg imagine that so do you drink
like eight because you just wanted those gains yeah yeah a lot of sugar but i had plenty of
protein as well new year's eve we had the kids uh so we we kind of just hunkered down, and we were in bed by like 11.30, I think.
It was a pretty lame one for us.
We still had fun.
It was just not a totally eventful New Year's Eve.
And that's pretty much it.
Fantastic break.
Got to reset a little bit.
Hit the gym.
You know, started off 2023 on a healthy note.
I might do a dry-ish January.
You were complaining about all the new people in the gym.
You were like, man, get these fuckers out.
Get these fucks out of here.
I'm glad to see people taking their health seriously in there.
Yeah, dry-ish January.
I haven't had a drink yet.
I know we're only four days in.
It's not a big deal.
But I'm going to keep it going for a bit.
See how it goes. I'll keep you all updated. When's the last time you had a drink new year's eve okay wow okay okay new year's eve what's up with that boy about you guys
uh we were in duncanville for about five days five or six days which was lovely if you don't know my wife is from there as well parents live
five minutes away do christmas at my parents then bounce over there it's perfect it's great
we don't have to fly we're very lucky in that sense um nothing crazy oh we kicked it off we
got up friday went to the nutcracker at Bass Hall, Fort Worth.
I'm a straight up ballet guy. I like it. It's so fun. It's calming. It's really fun on exactly
one CBD and did a little dinner before that. Came back in town, New Year's Eve, went out with the
Deadlies Retail Therapy and Club Cool and OCC's own Barrett Deadly and his lady friend, Laura.
And set the record for most margaritas at La Pesina in four.
No one's ever done that before.
You actually may have.
If any backers try to beat that record, we are not responsible.
Don't do it.
Not worth it.
New Year's Day was not ideal. Started it out do it. Not worth it. New Year's Day was not ideal.
Started it out very wet.
Did not do dry New Year's Day.
I wouldn't have let you order four if I was there, by the way.
I would have stopped you after three and been like, we need to go somewhere else.
Well, problem was not to put anybody on blast, but one of the couples was about 15 minutes late.
So we're just kind of sitting there and it's
well i guess i've got nothing we don't want to order food because they're not here and they
didn't bring out the chips and salsa until they got there so all i had to do was drink it's weird
that barrett's was late for something i was shocked i'm shocked barrett crazy right 15 minutes late
barrett crazy right 15 minutes late um we tried leroy and lewis which i think randy went there recently i know dan loves this place it is a uh a barbecue truck trailer over on south congress
and um heard a lot of good things about the burger. That's what you got to go get.
Best burger in town is what I was told.
We got there, brought roads. This is at 11 a.m. when they
opened. There's a line because
you can't have good barbecue without a line.
We waited in it
20 minutes, get up there,
25 minutes after they opened.
They were out of burgers.
I was so sad. The guy was
very cool. He was like,. And the guy was very cool.
He was like, we just didn't have a ton of the beef or whatever it is.
Probably beef as it's a burger.
So we pivoted to barbecue, which was great.
Good stuff.
But it felt good.
I did a Lone Star, a pre-noon Lone Star.
Again, wet January is on.
And that's about it.
Nothing too crazy.
I threw around a golf in there somewhere
uh my buddy's place in dallas 91 uh played played behind the great will zala torres and um all i
wanted to do is is approach him and ask him if he had seen the zala torres bit on the too much
dip instagram but never got a chance to talk to him probably would have beefed it if i did
see the david duvall of our time?
He hasn't lost his game like Duvall did.
Duvall was electric for like two years.
What happened to him?
He just lost it?
I don't know.
I mean, yeah, he did.
Zala Torres, I think his number,
I would put his stats at this point up against duvall's
career because he's had a number of like very very good runner-ups top fives including one
uh major victory and duvall have like three seconds to tigers and majors and probably the
span of like a year or two years or something i remember thinking like man just the charles barkley he got one though he got an open championship he did but i had a buddy
on the golf team in high school who well we were all obviously tiger guys because it's like the
year 2000 2001 he was a duval guy i like that he was he was so sure that duval was gonna be like
no no it's duval's did he hit him with the Oakley blades on the course and the oversized Nike shirts?
It's my buddy Malone.
You've played golf with him.
Great player.
Terrible takes on late 90s golf trends.
That's about it, Will.
How about you?
Started the break with – I was one of the many people in the world who had a delay over Christmas.
It's fine.
Luckily, we never had to even go to the airport.
To anyone who was stuck in an airport, I'm sorry.
We had the fortunate delay of having our flight just straight up canceled, so we just sat at home, enjoyed ourselves, made a fire.
Oh, so you never actually made it to the airport that day?
No, we never even bothered going.
Good for you.
It's nice that this happened.
No, like, to be honest, like...
That's chill.
Yeah.
It's a very chill cancellation.
And it will forever stay with me as the move.
That if it's the holidays and things are going south, just punt until it's fine.
And that's what we did.
So instead of going up on Christmas Eve, we went up to michigan on the 26th uh and had
a very enjoyable time up there we had a white christmas it was it was beautiful um it's been
tough though i why does every draft beer need to be hazy at this point it's just we just it's just
it's not it's not what we need what does that mean for a beer if it's hazy i don't mean it's just we just it's just it's not it's not what we need what does that mean for a beer
if it's hazy i don't mean it's more hoppy i don't know but like the amount of hazy beers flying
around northern michigan there are a lot of hazy beers flying around down here it's i'm it's got
to go i'm just over it i saw something bell's two hearted ale is considered one of the best ipas
there is people love it i love it they decided to make their light hearted ale they
should have called it the one hearted ale because you know right like that's just big brain stuff
right um and in and i was like you know what we don't need this and then they decided to make the
double hearted ale which they should have just called the four hearted ale sure and that sucked
and now they have made the hazy hearted ale and And I'm like, guys, we don't need to...
Don't hazy my IPAs.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Go brazy, not hazy.
Probably stronger topical fruit flavor
and aroma, if I had to guess.
It's just unnecessary.
Cloudy. So I'm very happy. I'm very happy
that dry-ish January
is on because I will not be drinking any hazy
IPAs anytime soon.
Anytime soon.
Okay.
I'm also on another grind this January.
What's that grind?
Your boy's going straight pescatarian.
Really?
Catch me not eating chicken or beef or pork.
You on your fish shit right now?
Until Feb 1.
Until Feb 1.
Damn.
Okay.
I'm on that fish grind.
Last night I had a little halibut for dinner
just went crazy so are you alternating like fish and then just vegetarian meals or are you doing
a fish every night nah i'll be doing i'll be doing i would say probably two-thirds just straight veg
one-third pesco call me little pesco no one's gonna call
me a little pesco no do it i'm not doing that so yeah okay i don't know i'm not really doing it for
any other reason than just like honest part of the reason i'm doing the pescatarian thing is to
uh shift my boredom from wondering why i can't have a drink for a couple weeks but i'm gonna
fold at some point especially now that jay bone's gonna have like a going away party or something like is he yeah i mean i don't know but i'm
definitely gonna get a pint with that lad before he heads out of town so we gotta we gotta i gotta
drink at some point i'm gonna call you joe pesci no you my name's little pesco
that's a little shithead that told me to get my drip up when i was old
little esco dude we can't call me joe pesci because I'm afraid that Fritz is more in love with the sticky slash wet bandits
than he is with me at this point.
That dude is addicted to the slapstick comedy of those two.
They do get brutalized for about 25 minutes straight.
I don't want to be the TV dad who just puts on something,
but like Fritz is obsessed with Home Alone.
That one dude got electrocuted so bad
that you could see his bones.
Well, you could see his money too You could see his money, too.
His skin was crazy.
See that?
Not talked about enough that Joe Pesci
does a perfectly executed handstand
on that toilet seat.
He's just perfectly vertical,
great core intake,
glutes are straight,
and then he just dunks his head in that thing.
That was impressive.
Unnecessary to put his feet up like that.
Very much so.
Yeah.
If I'm ever in that position to dunk my head
into a toilet, which hopefully I'm not, but you never
know. Why didn't Kevin just call the police?
Wow.
And what does his dad do?
I'm the best headstander at Wash Media.
I won't argue with that. i've seen your work on the instagram on instagram the instagram i don't think i've ever stood on my head
i'll do it i'll do it as long as you need wow dude is that right you want to do it i've seen
his yoga his yoga journey right i'll do it forever it's a long time ago yeah i'm not worried about it
i'm actually in better shape now that i was in my journey i was it was a it time ago. I'm not worried about it. I'm actually in better shape now that I'm on my journey. Pesci will.
It was some dark days during that yoga journey.
Damn.
I know.
I know.
Can we talk about rocket money real quick?
I would love that.
Please.
A lot of times in life, you're like, wait, where'd all my money go?
What's going on?
Like, hold on.
You ever log into your bank account
you have a number in your head you're hoping that that number is going to hit when you get there
it's like anything under this and it's going to be panic mode you don't need to worry about this
stuff when it comes to rocket money because rocket money is going to help you out in so many ways
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over 720 a year you can do a lot with that money you're leaving money on the table if you don't
sign up just see what they find you see i mean i logged in and i was like okay how can they
actually identify all these things sure enough they, they did. And sure enough, I was saving money.
Made me very happy.
At one point, I had three ESPN Plus accounts.
That's too many.
You're not the first person who that's happened to, by the way.
It's not ideal.
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Go check it out.
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slash circling.
It's rocketmoney.com circling it's rocketmoney.com circling again rocketmoney.com circling dude there's only like x amount of days till the masters dude have you have you been down to the app yet you know what i never i never
deleted it because it's in my home row this this story got me a little bit horned it got me
thinking masters this reminds me i still haven't heard back from him about my uh ticket draw i
never heard back either kind of annoying to be honest like they're gonna let a player know like
if i like it is actually very annoying that like i didn't even get it now
right tell me no let me down at this point like you're still giving me hope and that's not fair
well also like i feel like my my submission didn't even go through because i never got a response and
that's the scary thing it's like okay so in the future like do i even bother going through with
that process do i bother i had to go look and it turns out i used a different email address and i
saw that they had rejected me months ago oh really yeah that probably happened with me too i think they thought i was trying to game
the system when in reality i probably just forgot my login so i created a new account using a
different one which is something i would be i would definitely do well one pro golfer noted
absolute stud scott stallings also thought that he didn't get master's tickets turned out he did
turns out there's a dude named scott stallings who was uh lived very very close to him
their wives also share the same name and the master sent the invite to the wrong person
someone just googled like scott stallings address or something like how did how did
how does this happen this is what i don't understand because like if this seems too convenient for online purposes if you know what i
mean like this seems like too perfect of an unrolling of events when it comes to
this being a good story are you uh claiming false flag here no i'm not did you check the
fake scott stallings reddit
history or something like do we need is there something we need to know do we look at his old
tweets this dude just wanted to put out like a fun story and people like oh this guy's takes
on immigration in 2008 were not great if this is you if there's a dave ruff on the pga tour
is you if there's a dave ruff on the pga tour who is also married to an alissa and you get master's invite like this are you showing up being like what's up i'm dave ruff here's my
invitation you brought your sticks your sticks will's your caddy you just pull up magnolia drive
and yeah you're like here what do you mean i'm not dave ruff here's my here's my shit right here
i'd like to see what this guy looks like i wonder how long he could have pulled it off Yeah. They're like, here it is. What do you mean I'm not Dave Rupp? Here's my shit right here.
I'd like to see what this guy looks like.
I wonder how long he could have pulled it off,
like how far he could have gotten.
I don't understand how the Masters doesn't have the addresses of the players that they'd be inviting.
It does seem weird, doesn't it?
Wouldn't they go through the PGA or Live Tour
in order to get those addresses?
Yeah.
It doesn't make sense.
It's like they just went to the white pages.
Phone books were a thing back in the day went to the the white pages you know phone
books were a thing back in the day by the way for you young folks scott stallings in uh georgia to
be fair i love scott stallings noted workout guy good dude i don't think he's been i don't think
he's played in the masters in a long time so it's not like how do he qualify? He had a good season last year. Okay. Yeah. Did he get a dub?
I think he got a dub.
Another thing, and I'm sorry.
Is it a little weird that you would only find out
that you were invited to the Masters using this invite
and there wouldn't be any contact with an agent
or somebody else that's like,
hey, by the way, you guys might want to make
some travel plans in April.
The Masters is so old school that that part's believable to me.
You know how they do things?
My official take is that they should start contacting them
in a different way other than snail mail.
Yeah.
Snail mail.
I mean, shit gets lost.
This is Augusta.
I mean, they're going to hang on to it as long as they can.
Yeah, they hang on to shit like that.
And you know that someone in there
whoever made that error whoever's in charge of this is not having a good time right now that
that's not something that they they they think i'm sure they're not leaning into it because it's
augusta they're probably very embarrassed even though it's not a big deal yeah there yeah there
are five crusty old white guys talking about it in the conference room right now like how did this
happen like scott knew he was going to get to play the Masters.
Yeah.
He's probably like, oh, my gift basket didn't arrive, but I'm still going to show up.
Scott Stallings has to get the other Scott Stallings tickets now.
That invitation.
That's how this works.
I read that he has invited him to a practice round, which is not enough.
No, not enough.
Not enough. No. No. No, not enough. Not enough.
No.
No.
No.
I think that's fine.
You can carry your bag at a practice round.
How about that?
That's a little much.
Is he inside the ropes for the practice round?
Because if you're just getting a practice round ticket, I'm like, yeah, I don't know
if I'm going to fly all the way there.
All this guy did was have the same name.
You couldn't get me a Thursday ticket?
Yeah, but he did the honorable thing.
He gave him the viral moment of the PGA Tour that day.
I mean, he did.
But it's not like Scott wasn't going to get invited to the Masters
if this guy hadn't said anything.
You better fucking hope your ass that there isn't a kid from Austin
that played for UT named David Ruff.
There's a lawyer in Texarkana.
Yeah, well, you don't want him to go pro in golf,
and suddenly you're getting invited to the Masters,
and then he's like, wait, I heard on your podcast
that you think you should only get a practice round ticket, Dave.
I will take a practice round at Augusta at this point
as someone who gets denied every year.
I don't think a practice round would scratch my itch
because it would always piss me off that Dylan got to go all four days.
I'm sorry.
He surprised us on a podcast knowing that it would break our hearts.
It did for the content.
And yeah,
I think you still respect a little part of you respects that part of it.
No.
I also saw Snoop Dogg in concert,
which was electric.
That's fine.
I don't care about that.
You should.
I wasn't a Snoop Dogg fan growing up.
You were the Snoop Dogg fan growing up.
It's true.
I stood in the VIP section with Brett's old boss, Dave.
Dave Ruff?
Different Dave.
Of the Dave Ruff Swing Academy?
Jeez, name dropping over here.
Yeah, look at you.
It was fun, man.
Hey, you dropped this, King.
It was a name.
I'm just kidding.
Okay.
Okay.
I'll follow you.
Shout out to the fake Scott scott stallings or the
scott stallings 2.0 put him on a bag for the practice it's the masters dylan you can't put
him on the bag i you know come on give him i feel like that guy glossed over instead of scott's like
kid like doing the par 3 caddying he just lets this other his grown man wear the wear the bib
and caddy form in the par 3 tournament the other scott stallings it's like wow you guys met
scott yet yeah wait are you oh you're the guy okay i'm such a scrooge during the par three contest
these days i don't know why they stink i'm just like hey i don't care about this kid taking a
shot let's let me see the pros show me. Show me the highlights of the old guys.
Let me see Freddie ripping a couple wedges.
That's all I want to see.
All the pin locations are at the bottom of a funnel.
That's why they have like six holes in one every year.
Yeah, Jack Nicklaus' grandson gets up there and just drills one.
Yeah, like whatever.
This shit's annoying.
Tony Finau dislocated his ankle famously funnel greens
funnel beers not greens can't spell funnel without fun that's true is it time for around
the horny funnel beers not green the most excited the most excited uh our our audience has been for
a new segment ever.
Around the Horny debuted in late 2022,
and I think it's making the cut in 2023, my friends.
Around the Horny.
Yeah.
Dave's our Tony Reale.
Oh, man.
You were talking about a guy who gets faded up.
Take a photo of Tony Reale in.
He's got to let it grow out a little bit.
Needs more lettuce on top.
Old school Tony Reale? That dude was getting lined
up, man.
Where do we want to start? Do we want to start
Panera Bread or Louisiana?
So these are, to be clear, these are all
horny topics, right?
You'll have to find out. I mean, it's around
the horny. I would assume these would be horny stories.
I think you're following the right scent
here. I'm trying to paint the picture for the
listeners who are new to this segment.
They got an idea.
Okay.
Look, this is about horny stuff in the news.
Well, where do you want to start?
Panera?
Your spot.
That's your place.
I want to start at Panera.
As long as I get to dunk on how terrible the food is and how dumb the people who go there are, then yeah.
Okay.
Both of my sources today are Vice.
Motherboard. Shout out to Vice. We're back. today are Vice. Motherboard.
Shout out to Vice.
We're back.
These are real.
You should write fake headlines and pretend that they're – let us choose.
We should.
Headline, tech CEO arrested after allegedly spying on woman in Panera Bread restroom.
What?
Tech CEO. bread restroom what tech ceo according to a report from police c drone ceo eduardo moreno has been arrested on robbery and peeping charges is there another name for that peeping like
peeping is just a little tommy peeping there is another name for it isn't there like there's yeah
there is okay voyeur voyeurism there it is voyeurism you know yeah what vice is supposed to be above you don't say peeping yeah this isn't
this is like that's what that's what they said in talented mr ripley which i think we're just like
supposed to be set in like the 50s i don't fucking know in what manner did this gentleman i shouldn't
call it gentleman this is not a bag this scum no gentleman to me sir hold on let me give you
what he did and you can make that decision for yourself.
So this is not how I would start 2023 off, just me.
But on January 2nd, according to a report from Mountain View Police,
God, this incident took place before noon at a Panera Bread on El Monte Avenue.
A woman was in the bathroom, and she heard a commotion in the stall next to her.
Then a man's head popped under the divider and looked up at her.
What?
Here's Horny.
He's like, what?
He just popped his head under there.
Can't be doing that.
Wait, to go under is crazier than going over.
You can't go.
You can't do it.
Well, first of all, you can't do either.
Because if you go.
Going under is insane.
Going under is way more vulnerable.
If you go over, there's a chance she's not going to notice.
No one should ever do that.
Yeah, I don't know
if you should be strategizing
right now,
but I get what you're saying.
There's a chance
you're going to get away with it.
If you go under,
you're just giving yourself
Can you imagine if you were
sitting there looking at your phone,
you're scrolling your timeline
and you see a reflection
in your phone
that's just a pair of eyes
staring down at you?
That sounds awful.
Awful.
What is this guy's...
It looks like he wanted
to get caught.
Police say the woman screamed and alleged that Moreno fled the Panera Bread,
and the woman chased him, catching up with him at a nearby highway.
The woman tried to take a photo of Moreno,
but he grabbed her phone and pushed her to the ground before running off.
The police report said he was spotted taking his shirt off and jumping a fence
before returning to Panera, where he was tackled by a group of bystanders as responding patrol officers arrived. Was this car there or something? Is that
why he had to go back? I mean, just leave the car. This guy bricked every step of the way he bricked
the situation. I like that he showed up shirtless. Like, couldn't be me. I don't recognize this guy.
He doesn't have a shirt on anymore. Hey, who's the guy who's shirtless on January 2nd?
Like, yeah, going shirtless doesn't make you less suspicious.
What an absolute moron.
Can I tell you what his company does?
Because it's kind of dope.
The company is headquartered in Palo Alto
and builds drones that can go underwater
and inspect ship hulls.
H-U-L-L-S, not hulls.
Okay. It's kind of dope. Underwater droning ship hulls. H-U-L-L-S, not hulls. Okay.
It's kind of dope.
Underwater droning.
Pretty dope.
Yeah, it's kind of sick.
Underwater drones just be like mini submarines.
Wow.
Big brain will.
The smug look on your face has got to go.
I was trying to do the third rock from the sun.
The dude in third rock from the sun. He doesn't really open his eyes french yeah frenchy or
whatever oh oh yeah that guy's you're a big bank theory guy aren't you a big big bank theory yeah
i believe in the big bang no like the show though i don't really think it's a theory i think like it
happened yeah it did but who really knows i mean is jim webb hit us with any big bang photos
maybe that'd be sick dude i got a puka shell necklace all my homies were calling me young
sheldon that's real bad dude i was the young sheldon crowd the crowd is uh is liking what
they're hearing oh they're gasping they're like holy shit i may have worn puka shell too late in
life i think dave probably did too i don't know why i'll admit it did you absolutely i never had is liking what they're hearing. No, they're gasping. They're like, holy shit. I may have worn Puka Shell too late in life.
I'll admit it.
I think Dave probably did too.
I don't know why. I'll admit it.
Did you?
Absolutely.
I never had one.
Never?
No.
No, spoiler alert.
They didn't call me the young shell dog.
Hey, nerd alert.
I may have just had a hemp necklace,
but I have to,
if there was Puka on there,
it wouldn't shock me.
I'm not saying,
I was never above a Puka Shell necklace.
Never.
I was all white Puka.
I was all about being a poser
when it came to like surfer cali culture i was all about that but i i think i thought that doing
the necklace was like one step too far for me i think it's because the kids and also every kid
in our high school who wore a hemp or puka shell necklace definitely ended up being like an absolute
stoner later in life all of them i don't think i don't think that
was a mistake okay i also don't think it was as popular up there y'all were on your cali boy swag
yeah i was for sure abercrombie and fitch puka shell didn't you get like dreadlocks on a trip
to cancun senior year uh no but when i was 13 i got like a couple of beads in my hair when i was
in um the Bahamas.
I'm okay with that.
I wish I would have done that on your wedding trip.
It was on the summer break, and I went back to school in the fall, and I still had them.
Some girl was like, what are you doing?
Yeah, you can't show up first day of school with the beads in the hair.
I was like, no, just kidding.
The next day, I didn't have them.
What happened in Louisiana?
And then the next day I didn't have them.
What happened to Louisiana?
This is a tough one for all my beaters out there, especially those beaters under the age of 18.
What happened to the beaters, Dave?
Headline, you now need a government ID to access Pornhub in Louisiana.
Viewing Pornhub while in Louisiana now requires providing a driver's license to verify your age.
The law, which was signed by Louisiana's Democratic governor, John Bel Edwards, in June, became effective on the first of this month.
Any commercial entity that knowingly and intentionally publishes or distributes material harmful to minors on the Internet from a website that contains a substantial portion of such material shall be held liable um if that
entity does fail to perform a reasonable age verification if there's one thing i know about
beaters is they'll find a way do you think they'll just stop they're gonna find a way yeah real
beaters no they're just gonna like put their hand away what what age were you like the horniest
like 15 30 14 uh hold on let me i can i can get you an exact date if you need
okay wow i want to hear the backstory specific wild on episode yeah just stay tuned um
brooke burke made me hit puberty like a couple months early i think
she just forced it out of you yeah my so just puke yeah i Yeah, I went peak horny in 2002.
That's when I went clear.
Okay.
It was when the Christina Aguilera dirty video came out.
You were how old?
15.
Yeah, that's like the horniest age.
That video itself wasn't like the reason I was the horniest,
but I just remember thinking like,
yeah, it doesn't get more horny than this.
I remember sitting like math class freshman year and i just i couldn't stand up i was with everybody to
leave before i fall i had an i had an nrb in uh spanish class in eighth grade and yeah i've told
the story before the teacher told me to go up to the board and i looked i went no and she immediately
goes to the next person she
was like okay this person i was like this is her this is not her first time dealing with a
it was an nrb from an eighth grader they're calling you justin tucker i could never do the
talk man i didn't have i didn't have like the i didn't have the moxie to do the talk back in the
day i thought i thought it could go south too quickly i was a talk boy i was worried that
somebody i would like lift my hands up and somebody would just see. I was a tuck boy or a hand in the pocket just holding it to the side guy too.
Luckily, I just wore tall white tees.
It went down to my shins.
Is this just like all they have to do is when you go to a liquor website and you have to verify your age?
It's a great question because that's what I was thinking.
They'll find a way.
Beaters find a way.
was thinking they'll find a way beaters find a way um so when motherboard vice tested the verification pornhub directed them to all pass trust a third-party identity verification site
which connects to law wallet or la wallet a digital driver's license for louisianans
pornhub guarantees that pornhub doesn't connect data during this process so it's like a deal like this
is not it's not just go throw in a fake age so not everyone's born like january 1st 1950
that's a bad this is weird it's a bad bit on the alcohol websites let the beaters be
like i mean is it going to cause more harm that these kids can't view Pornhub?
I mean, honestly, I kind of respect this in that they have to work for it like we did.
Like that, that they have to watch a music video in order to do this.
We had to wait 35 minutes for like a Jen and Jameson video to upload.
Yeah, I had to, I had to, I had to wait till my parents got off the phone so that I could
download a 30-second clip.
What if there was a caveat, like a little carve-out in this rule,
and it was like, unless you're using a 56K dial-up modem.
I'll make that trade.
If I'm 15, I'm making that trade.
And then you see a little bit of Tiffany Amber Thiessen's face.
Now a little bit more, you get the shoulder.
I see the top of an areola.
It's coming.
You leave the room to go get a
Coca-Cola from the fridge. You come back.
You're dealing with torso.
Jenny McCarthy dropped a topless photo.
Yeah, I'll wait 25 minutes to see how
it looks. You hear your parents
pulling into the garage and you're like, just closing out
windows left and right. You're like, damn it. You do the
emergency shut down. I just worked 25 minutes for that
Maxim photo.
It's terrible. the kids these days are
so spoiled with their high speed they they seriously are they don't get it it's insane
and before like like people older than like generations before us what did they do close
their eyes just had that fun they had to find a magazine yeah yeah they didn't get that hustler
terrible these kids in louisiana we're thinking
about you yeah not in that way but like you know hey find a way yeah they're just yeah our thoughts
and prayers go out to all the underage beaters in louisiana the thing i don't really understand
is this it's it's like the do they not understand that there's other options out there because like
for whatever reason this is only applying to to pornhub um at this time which is just so like
what other websites do you frequent that they could like help help the beaters out it says here
uh it says here in the article x hamster is it really a porn website named after a hamster i
don't i've never understood when people talk about that.
X videos.
What's the hamster one?
I feel like you could just come up with fake porn site names in your head, type it in.
Let me win.
It would come up.
Do they feature hamsters?
What would they be doing?
I don't know.
Something weird.
Like what exactly?
Let's just, we can move on.
It's around the horny.
It's true.
How did the points shake out?
Who won?
Who's keeping track?
Dylan, you got one minute to opine.
Opine, go.
You won.
Oh, wow.
Thank you, everyone, for your support here.
Yeah, shouts to the beaters out there
you got anything you want to plug uh no any causes you want to support no not today okay not today
thank you though don't look at me i'm not you didn't win he won he got all
i got all the horny points you got all the h points
we have a new sponsor this year
i've talked about several new sponsors in the past and talked about how excited i am to have
them on board but this is the first time that we are going to have a sponsor on board that
certified changed my life you ready for this wow you ready for this? Wow. You ready for this? Yeah. Talking about Squarespace.
Oh, okay. When I first when I went on my first ever content journey, I didn't know where to begin.
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but like, I don't really know how to do anything else. I looked at all these different these
different websites to see if I could do it on there,
and I was like, I just don't know.
But these Squarespace sites look the best to me.
They have the best aesthetic to me.
And once I started diving into all the features,
I started to realize I wanted to do it with Squarespace,
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And I will always, always ride for Squarespace
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Damn. I love these guys. I love these guys. They're the all in one platform for building
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so you can send out emails. You can keep your list there.
You can edit all your emails from there.
You can come up with templates.
You can sell stuff like they said.
It's very easy to upload products.
It's very easy to sell products.
It's very easy to get your tax documentation,
get paid out, everything.
Or if you're trying to start a blog like I was,
they made it so easy to make very good looking like blog posts all in one place
without having to code, without having to worry about anything.
I just love these guys.
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When people hit me up and they're like, well, who should I do?
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I started mine on Squarespace.
If you need any help, it's very easy to do.
They even have holding pages.
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it's time we alluded to this a few episodes ago.
I think we talked about it at least,
but it's draft time.
It's feeling a little drafty in here and it's time for the shower draft.
Oh my God.
I don't think there's any way y'all beat me here.
This was,
this was brought up because after a round of golf that Dave and I recently
played,
Dylan had to bow out at the last minute.
Unfortunately,
I sent a text and I said,
I just took, I just took my top shower of the year damn or i said top two and i said that just to
make sure that i didn't wasn't forgetting something i think looking back it was my top
shower of the year damn and then we were like damn we gotta start drafting showers what was
weather like that day cold cold but at one point it was cold enough that you would get to the point
if the sun was out where it's like i think think I'm going to pop my heaviest layer.
And then you would pop it.
And then two shots later, you'd put that heaviest layer back on.
Yeah, you were going back and forth.
Yeah, you re-pop for sure.
I love a good re-pop.
Yeah.
I like a desk pop too.
Yeah.
Randy, let's choose our draft order in the same way we always choose our draft order, which is when Randy chooses a number between 1 and 10, we all guess.
We're drafting our favorite showers.
Correct.
Correct.
Got it, Randy?
Dylan really likes to explain the segments before we get into them.
Well, we've got some new listeners.
Oh, yeah.
It's a good thing to do.
It's a good thing to do.
Ready?
Yeah.
All right, Randy.
Are you ready?
All right.
Count us down, Randy.
Three, two, one.
Eight.
Four.
Six.
Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo.
Dylan.
You guys are each.
Yeah, how does that work with Will and I?
You guys are each two away.
I don't know.
Dave went over.
Y'all can have it.
I'll get it.
If you want the second pick, you can have it.
I don't know if I want it.
I'll repick. I will concede. All right, it's a will concede all right i'll take it all right he's taking it i'll take it i'll take it i don't want it but i'll take it man i'm really excited i got the first overall pick because i
have far and away the best shower in existence in my head right now um you guys might have it on
your list will we probably
do if it's the first pick will definitely has it dave might not i'm already crossing mine out
because i know what you're doing oh my first overall pick for the best shower the goaded
shower is after a long day of skiing hot shower getting off the slopes your legs are exhausted you're cold you're chilled to the
bone you get in there maybe there's a fire going in your lodge or something but you hit that shower
and you crank that heat up super hot it like kind of like you like your your skin kind of just like
goes numb for a little bit when it hits you. It's nice and steamy.
Yeah, yeah.
We fucking get it.
There's nothing like that.
There's nothing like that post-skiing, really cold day shower at the end of the day.
You didn't deserve that.
But I got it.
With your first pick.
Was that also your top pick?
Yeah.
Yeah, it was.
Oh, my gosh.
What a shower.
Yeah, my gosh. What a shower. Yeah, it was. For my first pick, I am going to go with a shower that I just briefly talked about,
and that is a post-cold weather golf round.
Okay.
I thought you might go with that one.
It's a good pick.
Surprised it was there.
Yep, yep.
It's for the same reasons as skiing.
I think there is a case to be made
that the post-cold weather golf, for me,
actually somehow feels better
than the post-cold weather skiing.
Is that because you're layered up heavily on the slopes,
thus warmer?
I also think that when you're on the slopes,
you are taking more breaks and warming yourself up
as opposed to when you're playing golf.
You're out there for five plus hours just in the elements.
And so by the time you get in your car and heat up and everything i mean you you've been chilled
man after that after that that snow shower you're sitting by the fire your feet are a little still
a little cold you're you got your wool socks on posted up by the fire you're still talking about
your fucking oh my god okay dave go ahead and pick man like you you get the next two picks i don't
know why you still yeah i don't know if i can yeah roger goodell's already walking up to the
podium to announce someone else man this is tough i did not expect this to be on the board still so
i guess maybe it's not that tough after all um i did like what you did will dylan yours is good
it wasn't on my board i I'm not a ski guy.
That's why I said you might not have it.
That being said, I'm going to go with the post-yard work summertime shower.
Post-yard work summertime shower.
I did have that on my board.
Yeah, I didn't.
Famously, I've never done yard work.
Didn't come to mind.
Obviously, you have like, you know, it's hot and you're sweaty get the grass clipping but you got to your leg you've got grass clippings
in your shoes in your between your toes somehow sweaty boy uh you've got dirt under your fingernails
depending on what you're doing stink baby you and it's just a it's the grass bo mix the grass
sweaty smell there's no stink like a after yard work it smells like a
it smells like a field house like an eighth grade football yeah yeah i've been saying that
dave's right he's right yeah yeah and and you know what you kind of feel like you've earned it
and you maybe maybe you take a little longer you go 30 seconds longer than normal you're like you
know what i just put in a i just planted some uh begonias. Dude, Dave, don't get crazy, dude.
You went 30 seconds more?
Yeah.
Dude, that's logo.
Well, you know, it's tough with the water shortage.
Right, you're wasting water, man.
It's okay, though.
Every now and then.
It's good.
It's a treat.
It's a good shower, and you go out there after you're done.
You get dressed, and you go out there,
and you put your hands on your hips,
and you look out at the yard, and you think,
man, I just did that. I'm him. You here look out over your domain i just broke these boys off what's your second
pick oh i get two oh yeah dude he's dave never gets a third pick and it shows man i'm gonna go with
the violently hungover shower.
Okay.
Describe the shower.
I want to make sure.
It is, in my book, it is a requirement.
It is when you can either be at home or you can be in a hotel or an Airbnb or, as my neighbor
says, a bed and breakfast.
You drank a little much.
Maybe you did four margs with the Dudleys the night before.
You get up and you know, like, I cannot and will not sit around this hungover and this disgusting all day.
So you immediately you go to that shower and there's like this sense of this is going to this is going to dial me back a little bit.
This is going to get me right.
I had this listed as the hungover as fuck.
Bring me back to life.
Shower at noon.
That's the one.
See, I had this.
I'm an early boy.
I had this as a hungover sit down shower.
Sleep in.
And then you wake up and you chug water for a little bit.
Maybe you have a breakfast taco.
And then it's like, all right, now it's shower time to really get my my life back together mine's at about noon earlier is fine i try to go as early as possible i'm one
of those people i don't like to hang around without shower i don't like going to pick up
food if i haven't showered yet i don't want people to i don't want to see somebody and they're just
like man i saw will he looks terrible i look i look worse than i think most people when they
have not showered like there's a lot of
things working against me and i need to get in there and just clean it up and you step out and
you know you you feel obviously clean and while you might be you still feel a little hung over
hopefully you popped a few ibuprofen before you got in that shower that's maybe mashed down with
a liquid iv it's a nice combo liquid iv ibuprofen immediately go to shower okay those are pretty solid picks
dan i've locked in my next pick uh didn't need the time i'm going with a shower i don't even
like doing this that much but the shower after is essential going to the beach that's a good call
it's a really good call my post beach
showers are i'm not talking about i'm not talking about the the shower at the beach that's fine but
i don't count that as a real shower because you're not actually sitting there scrubbing it's just a
rinse it's just yeah yeah um there's just something beautiful about it if there's salt water in your
hair you don't wash your hair, you leave that salt water in.
So everyone at dinner is like,
damn, do you have a new product in your hair?
And it's like, nah, babe.
Damn, salt water bae over here.
I'm really mad that you drafted this.
Well, here's the thing.
I would have drafted this second
if I had the first two picks.
Like, it's just a great shower.
This is my second overall pick.
I don't like sand.
I got to get that out of my toes.
You got that glisten after.
You start putting the lotion on after.
Oh, you just get so fresh of my toes. You got that, you got that glisten after you start putting the lotion on after, Oh, you just get so fresh. The, uh, the, the shower at the beach is just a, I need to get
my deposit back from the, uh, rental place shower because you go in there with little sand on the
feet. Next thing you know, it's like, Oh no, we're keeping that five hundo. I listed this on my board
as the, on a beach vacation after a long day of getting tan
as fuck and before going to a nice dinner shower water not super hot just kind of warmish and then
you hit it with the lotion afterward okay so i called it on mine the post beach shower yeah mine
was much more descriptive i feel like his looks better on a graphic no i painted as more specificity
i painted a beautiful picture with mine but it was a great pick nonetheless you're second overall you get two in a row right now well i'm not gonna lie
that one hurts because i really was expecting to grab that one there sorry sorry bitch okay
i have pre-formal event oh man i didn't even think about that that's a good pick thank you
thank you pre-formal event shower when you know you're about to just get, like, really done up.
There might be a trade offered after this.
Maybe it's a black tie affair.
Maybe you're just going to your buddy's wedding.
But you're going to look really nice.
Your shirt's pressed.
You're in a hotel.
You're in a hotel.
Your shirt's pressed.
A hotel shower could be one of those, huh?
And you're like, you get that perfect shave before.
You're just absolutely, you know you're going to look really, really good.
That's good.
I didn't even have that on my list, and that should have been very high on my list.
Good work.
Thank you.
Good work.
Thank you.
That was my second pick.
Is that correct?
Yep.
Second overall, but you get another pick.
This is a snake draft.
This one might be a little controversial.
You know, like a snake.
Like a snake.
This one might belong around the horny segment.
This is, I know I'm about to have sex shower.
Okay.
That was not on my list as I am not that horny.
I know I'm about to have sex shower.
What does that mean?
It means like your foot's like up on the wall.
You're cleaning every crevice.
You're getting as clean.
You're manscaping.
Manscaped.com slash circling.
You're never cleaner.
You get between your toes.
You're as clean and smell good as you can be.
And you're there to impress.
I don't clean my toes.
You're presenting yourself at your best.
You don't wash your legs famously, right?
I do.
I wash my legs.
You're like, babe, this is me.
I'm ready for you.
I'm clean.
That's a good shower.
Tell me I'm wrong, Dave.
Go ahead, Dave.
No, no.
I mean, there's nothing wrong with it.
Tell me I'm wrong.
I can't.
That's right.
This sex is not occurring in the shower necessarily, right?
I have.
You do have a child, famously.
But if, you know, if Bay wants to hop in there, like, that's on her.
Shower sex is bottom tier.
I don't...
Not a big shower sex.
My next one is not one...
It's another thing where I don't...
Maybe the reason I like to shower after these things is
because i don't like going in the first place but this next one for me is is a great one and
is the post concert or music festival shower you get home you've been around a bunch of people all
night you're all grungy you're sweaty from walking around your feet hurt and you're like dude i don't
want to get in bed this gross i'm gonna take a shower yeah post acl too you got all that dirt in your nostrils that's just
getting kicked up from everybody you got sweaty people bumping into you at a billy eyelash show
it's just not good it's just not good might have butt chugged some beers with the boys
we've all been there oh i just love. I love getting clean after being around a mass quantity of people.
Yeah, that's interesting.
This isn't on my board, but I could also –
this wouldn't really apply to a festival because they're not really indoors,
but I was thinking like smoky bar shower.
But we don't really have to deal with that anymore.
That was Dave's third pick. Well, back in the day. Smoky bar shower like i know it doesn't but we don't really have to do that that was dave's
third pick well back in the day smoky bar shower dude post smoky bar back in like your 20s oh see
when we draft loads of laundry that's when we draft loads we should do a load during the load
draft i'm gonna be drafting the uh post casino cigarette uh-huh. I'm going to go.
I thought this is where you were going with that pick, but.
Nah, player.
Post-Texas heat golf round shower.
Okay.
Okay.
This has a lot of the same characteristics as the yard work shower.
You smell very similarly.
You do.
It's a similar feeling.
It's that same grime uh
you know grass clippings you got you got sand stuck to your leg this time instead of grass
clippings because you maybe found the bunker a couple of days been there too man got my legs
are cut up because i'm in the woods looking for my golf ball they need to tell you before moving
to texas that the most hot you'll ever be is after a round of golf in the middle of july
and you get into your car that has just been sitting there no one tells you about that about how dangerous that can be
you look down it's like it says like 121 on the thermometer
you look over at your boy little pesco and he's just passed out in his car
someone should help we gotta bring a little pesco back we gotta get pesco in here
yeah that that's an ideal one.
And I might even go cold for that shower, depending on how quickly I get home.
See, that might be one of those times where I start with a warm shower,
and then I slowly turn it down as I'm in the shower.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
I think the only time I go straight up cold is post-beach.
I like to go beach to cold.
That's just me. And I have one more pick,'t i you do final pick you do final pick for that boy um a little bit astonished this has not
been picked but um i'm gonna go rain showers because famously rain makes corn, corn makes whiskey, and as you are aware, whiskey makes my baby feel a little frisky.
So I am going to give a nod to rain showers with the fourth pick, and I will be taking you rain showers.
You are my property now.
I had this listed as the Texas summer midday rain shower.
Like a nice little reprieve from the uh the hot sun it's like wait is your you're talking
about physically taking a shower when it's raining out no no no no how boring would that be no no
just letting the rain just no okay okay i was like i was like hold on is dylan not grasping
what's happening yo that rain out there it's coming down yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna think i'm
in the shower yeah i want to i want to wet too. I grab my shampoo and run outside.
Dave's looking at a tree.
Dylan's looking at a tree
just like, man,
that thing's so wet right now.
That's a good pig down.
I got to go get in the shower.
I'm very happy
that this fell to my list.
There are some other things
on my list
that I can't pick
at this point.
But I'm going to have to do it.
You're on vacation.
It's a nice resort.
Maybe you got a massage that day.
Maybe you were just doing a spa circuit,
maybe taking a cold plunge,
but you know that at that resort,
there's going to be an outdoor shower.
God dang it.
That you can rinse off in.
I'm so mad at you right now.
You got six towels around you.
You got bottles of shampoo everywhere, and you don't even know what's what.
You're just fucking squirting bottles everywhere and rubbing it all over yourself.
Dude.
You're just loving life.
It's the spa shower at a nice resort.
You look down and use some of your wife's stuff just to mix it up.
Oh, it's great.
An outdoor shower in a tropical location is something I thought of mid-draft,
and I was so mad at myself for thinking of it too late.
That that's a first round pick.
It's it's it's like the fact that I got in the final round,
I'm just happy to get it anyway.
But the fact that I got in the final round is crazy.
For the first time you pick for the first time,
I think you may have won a draft.
That was,
I had a good draft.
I got,
I got all my dogs in here.
I'm so mad that you got that.
I had one final pick left and it was sitting there for the taking.
Oh, well you can have your, you can have your favorite now is this the uh just turned 18 and i'm in louisiana
shower that's pretty good that's pretty good is this uh i'm not gonna be the one cleaning the
drain shower oh come on what i'm not gonna i'm not gonna get that horny here even though i did
do a yeah you did the man who doesn't want to get too horny is the I know I'm about to have sex shower.
That's a good shower.
Oh, gosh.
I mean, I have two on my list, and neither one is that great.
Neither one.
Golden?
One of them I know you're very fond of, however.
Yeah, I did a baby shower.
The steam shower is one of my options.
Okay.
Which is just a great great i took one this
morning you take them all the time take one every day the other one is just a post-workout shower
which is like not that great oh this guy has sex and works out cool all the good all the good
showers are taken dog unless i'm just totally brick and i'll be honest the only other shower
that i have on my list currently is the post-workout cold shower when you're so hot from a cardio
workout that i just i have to go cold there's one that i'm surprised i'm not actually now there's
one that you might like but i don't know pitch it um it is the uh head cold shower wake up
congested hop in there steamy clear it out You always feel better for at least a few minutes.
That doesn't do much for me.
Okay.
The fever shower is not bad, though.
You know?
You just can't get warm enough under those blankies.
I'm going to go post-workout shower.
It's a total mail-in pick, but it does belong on the board.
How about post-nut shower?
Again, I'm not going to do the horny stuff anymore, Dave.
You've done plenty of it today.
No.
It's kind of been the crux of the show.
Post-workout shower.
It's not a great one, but it's a good one.
There it is.
I can't believe you did that to me.
The outdoor shower.
Will traded up to take that pick.
That's dirty.
He knew it was a need for you and he got you
he kept you from having an a draft i think you had a good i think we all had good draft
but you're a b plus birds are singing you're out you know it's sun's beating down on you
dylan dylan had his number one pick was the apres ski shower he then had the pre-formal event shower
which was a great pick thank you thank you uh the I know I'm about to have sex shower and the post-workout shower.
I had the post-cold weather golf shower,
post-beach shower, post-concert shower,
and the outdoor spa, a nice resort shower.
I had a really good draft.
And then Dave had post-yard work shower,
violently hungover shower,
post-hot weather golf shower,
and finally rain shower.
You know what?
We all had decent drafts.
Good drafts.
Good drafts. Good drafts.
I'm glad there was only four picks here.
There were five picks we would have been
scraping the bottom of the barrel.
The only other one I had on my board.
We would have been divvying up like
wedding shower, baby shower.
Golden.
Shower.
Water sports. water sports good draft guys i had the no urgency shower when you just got you just you just stand there and
like i don't really got anything 30 minutes long it's not a good not good for the water table
you guys aware that we have a new segment called the wilmont's chill sitch of the week
oh i can't wait wow what's going on there I mean I know we usually finish out our Wednesday episodes
this weekend in fun but we kind of forgot to put that on the rundown dude I have so much planned
I don't have anything oh yeah I'm going to that thing with those people I should have put this
on the screen apologies Randy but my Wilmont's chill sitch of the week is from Miles Teller who
hung out with Jimmy Buffett and uh got a photo with him on uh i guess new year's eve dave is that what you said it was that's sick that's what i
understand yeah i mean what do you think jimmy buffett and miles teller talked about in their
time together probably like uh being very wealthy um i'm sure jimmy has seen top gun too how short
is jimmy buffett i bet he's 5'7".
I had no idea.
Isn't Miles like 6'2"?
I thought he was a very average height man.
This says he's 5'7".
In my head, Miles Teller is short.
He's not super tall for me, but he's not super short.
Jimmy Buffett is listed at 5'7".
He does look like tiny Larry David in this photo.
Dude, how chill of a sitch would it be if Larry David was there with him?
Miles Teller is still on that Top Gun workout routine, looks like.
He looks pretty bulked.
He does.
Okay.
That is a very chill sitch.
That is a chill sitch.
Do we know, is this on a boat?
Is this on a yacht?
The framing of this photograph really bothers me, but it is a very chill sitch.
I think they did the.5.
They opened that camera.
Instead of doing the 1X, they did the.5X5 x i think which also probably makes miles teller look way taller
also whoever took it didn't get the footwear i need to see what jimmy's rocking no you don't
dude i want it's trash i bet it's i bet it's like customized margaritaville crocs you think you hit
him with the custos i bet he went custom on them i don't want to i don't want their feet in this
photo i think i worry i worry that a brick foot choice might ruin the photo miles teller is if he's rocking like some tennis shoes
oh my that would be just devastating to this he's wearing a pair of golden goose or something
what are you doing maybe the 993s no he he puts off the vibe of like a nice
uh maybe like a suede outdoor loafer i think he's rocking like sandals
here or like just open shoe open male shoes like those those solos or whatever that you have is
that you yeah those are sick the harachas i don't know i'm just saying digs out for haracha uh-huh
yeah hey good episode guys that's fine let's start to the year
like honest question because we're not doing this weekend in fun today do you guys even have
anything planned this weekend no dryest january i'm doing nothing yeah sally's working saturday
because we had a she had a short week this week and uh i think we're i think we're going out to
a storage unit on sunday so if you guys want to tag along, it should be a really good time. It should be a really good time.
Yeah, you're keeping your laundered money.
That's where I'm keeping our old bed frame.
Our old bed frame.
That's awesome.
Let's get the hell out of here.
It's been fun, guys.
Go listen to exactly five minutes on Patreon,
patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast.
And yeah, we'll see you guys on Monday
or for voicemails tomorrow on Patreon as well.
Bye.
Bye.