Circling Back - Meet-Up Fundraiser and Turbo Charged Superpigs
Episode Date: January 29, 2024Major Announcement Alert: We've launched a fundraiser for our next meet-up where the city who raises the most money earns our business. To donate in the name of your city, check out the link below. We... also discuss the bubbling problem of Canada's turbocharged superpigs, our Weekends in Fun, Will's issue with the FedEx driver, a pepperoni vandal, the woman who got stuck on a gondola for 15 hours, and more. DONATE TO YOUR CITY TO GET A MEET-UP: www.fundly.com/circling-back-meet-up Enjoy a free one-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (12:30) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (31:00) ANNOUNCEMENT: Meet-Up Fundraiser, Baby (38:41) Canada’s Turbocharged Superpigs (50:13) Will Wants To Fight His FedEx Driver (54:00) NJ house vandalized with pepperoni: ‘As an Italian, it hurts the heart (59:00) Worst Weekend Story: Woman Stuck in Gondola (1:07:00) Mona Lisa Climate Protesters Support This Episode’s Sponsors Fitbod: www.fitbod.me/steam (20% off) Groove Life: www.groovelife.com/steam (20% off everything!) Naked Wines: www.nakedwines.com/steam (STEAM for both the code AND password to get 6 bottles of wine for JUST $39.99 with shipping include) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast up in smoke edition my name's will defriest my left David big smoke
rough you don't smoke big talk about more like mid smoke I'm dabbing he's
done hey I don't we're probably not gonna talk too much sports today but I
wanted to be the first to say I think think last night was the night. I think Trav gave Tay the ick post-game.
I think that might have done it.
They'll stick with it through the Super Bowl,
but I give it three weeks afterward tops.
I saw a little embrace, a little smooch on the field.
What did I miss?
It was when he decided to just randomly blurt out,
you got to fight for your right to party
when they were like hey man that was a great game how's it feel you you passed jerry rise blah blah
you're you're great and he just he's just like oh i'm gonna do a random beastie boys song from
25 years ago add that add that to the ick list it was on my eclipse when your boyfriend wins a
afc championship and and says you gotta fight for
your right to party i mean dude's obviously got big motion but like straight up cringe he's like
a hot girl you all you already my super bowl trophy you know what you write you know what
you yeah that was it that's all we have we don't have to talk about anything else dylan chivery uh first of all i am very happy to be here just want to get that out there um
secondly is it a fit it is officially girl scout cookie season i had opportunities to buy girl
scout cookies like five times maybe over the weekend they're everywhere ma'am and so i yeah
i copped i did on two separate occasions, actually.
Weren't you saying that Girl Scout cookie names have gotten woke?
No, I did not say that.
Okay.
I've actually ranked my Girl Scout cookies,
and I'm not taking feedback at this time.
Thank you. I bought Thin Mints.
Hold on, hold on.
I want to hear Will's.
I bought Thin Mints.
I bought Peanut Butter Sandwiches.
And Parks requested Adventure Fools,
so I got him some of those, too.
Will, give me your give me will i want the will to freeze official ranking he's gonna do some
o's first no mine i think would be number one thin mints number two peanut butter sandwiches
number three peanut butter patties number four shortbreads number five adventure fools uh i think
at number six i'm gonna slide in uh some lemonades there
you go oh yeah number seven i'm gonna hit them with the caramel chocolate chips and then obviously
number eight toasty yays and then number nine samoas and like i said i will not be accepting
feedback at this time thank you hey man no notes that was perfect i think 10 of 10 i'm not trying
to like have like a big you know debate over Girl Scout cookies right now.
That's not why I'm here.
But while Thin Mints are a good cookie, I truly don't understand how so many people can put them atop the ranking.
You put those Johns in the freezer?
Yeah, it's fine.
It's fine.
They kind of just taste like cold versions of the other ones.
You're crazy.
If you told me you were breaking them up and putting them in some ice cream or something, I might be more into that, but I think it's such an okay cookie that I don't understand
how it can rank number one.
They're so good.
My question is, why are the mints so thin?
Why not do thick mints?
I don't have a good answer for that.
Yeah, I didn't think so.
Sorry.
Maybe try again later, Chief.
They're gas. I almost put peanut butter sandwiches number one i late a late flip in my brain calling them peanut butter
patties that's why they call me a little flip get with it is that why like what are you guys doing
like it's just it's your number one dude they're tagalongs like why are we calling them yeah those
are my number one for sure not even close close. It's a good cookie. Correct.
It's not a good cookie.
It's a great cookie.
It's a good cookie.
That's why they're number three on my list.
That's fine.
But like, there are so many reasons that tagalongs, I would even say, I know you're not a Samoa guy and I don't understand how.
I'm not a coconut guy.
I don't even feel like it's that coconut heavy.
Your boy doesn't do coconut.
No kid that's eating a Samoa is thinking that there's coconut in it. They're just eating it's that coconut heavy your boy doesn't do coconut no
kid that's eating a samoa is thinking that there's coconut in it they're just eating it and be like
damn this is good like oh what's the gritty uh substance i'm chewing on oh that's nasty coconut
okay but when you invite me over to do never mind
what yeah would you like if it was coke and not cookies? Get your corny, horny joke out of the way.
There's not corn in these.
I've never even seen Adventurefuls before.
Corners.
An indulgent brownie-inspired cookie topped with caramel-flavored creme with a hint of sea salt.
I think they're new on the scene.
Why'd you say that?
They've been around for like one or two years.
You have to think that the combination of the brownie-inspired cookie with the hint of sea salt and the caramel
flavored creme you have to think that it's a juxtaposition play for the squad they're fine
it's a j play okay sure dave uh i'm glad we got to the bottom of this man we should do like a
official ranking and r, you can clip it
and we'll post it
as a reel on social media.
I mean,
I think it's already
put it out there.
That's our official.
No, but it's going to be
us arguing about it.
What sweets you guys
been keeping around
the house lately?
Thin mints.
Stop.
Stuff that my parents
got me for Christmas.
The only thing right now
is we got some
reese's peanut butter cup john's like a christmas edition one it's like a little snowman i think
okay and no ice cream dude we've been mashing we've had some gummy bears around lately uh sally
was going to use them to help with some potty training uh not for me for my son i was gonna
say i thought you should be there already
no she keeps thinking i pee my pants but i'm like babe it's beer right it's fun um and so uh i've
just been going in on gummy bears no training's been done yet because i've just been eating them
too fast i have no qualms with that you ever put gummy bears in the freezer no oh it's a thing
it's very much a thing yeah when you put them in ice cream, which Parks does sometimes,
they do harden a bit because of the cold ice cream.
Oh, because it's a juxtaposition play.
Shout out to Joy Mode.
They harden like James.
I don't like that we're having to kind of like...
I know, man.
You're doing something different.
Are you guys having mic issues right now?
Fix the mic.
I can't see Dylan's face.
What if we replaced all the microphones in the studio
with mics that came down from the ceiling like we were Michaelael buffer i can't see dave's hot face that
would be they have to go up and down though rainy granny can you get on that can you make them
wireless too though your budget is 25 dollars we're only doing britney spears garth brooks
that'd be fun i'd be totally okay if we started doing headset mics it would be so cringe no but
how easy would it be to do everything?
It'd be so cringe.
It'd be so easy to record and have free hands.
I wouldn't be able to take us seriously.
I'd just be laughing the whole time.
Hey, I opened Twitter this morning, and it wasn't the first time I scrolled,
but the second time around, I saw a video of a guy in Thailand base jumping,
and his shoe didn't open.
Did he stick the landing oh no no he's he
is no longer with us oh that's too bad is it possible he hit the ground so hard that he just
went through it and came out the other side of the earth um i i don't think so man man based on
like my limited knowledge of the earth i'm i'm getting a lot of uh like school like
school fight videos served to me that end really poorly like kat williams is on the ground crying
okay like a like a 12 year old getting his just skull like smashed against the pavement that
sounds terrible i know i don't ask for any of this shit i'm it's do you go look at the comments
to see if they're okay and people were like don't worry i was there he's okay yeah my favorite twitter
account's just minor brawls just minors brawling yeah i i just don't need to be i don't need to
see that man y'all got to change your algorithm up how dm elon be like hey dude can you take me
out of the gross stuff um Hello. Enough of the gold.
Elon Musk.
I can't do it.
That's not a good Elon.
That's terrible, dude.
That sucks.
Usually you're good at this.
Yeah, you need to spend more time in your car alone
workshopping your Elon Musk.
Elon Musk.
He doesn't have that.
No, he's got a hint of the South African accent,
but it's not totally South African accent at this point.
His delivery stinks, the way he talks.
His Rogan interview interview it's like
dude speak up a little bit no it's it's him computing speak with your chest rogan rogan
will say something and then he takes three seconds to compute it and then he spits out his answer
it's weird but he smoked that fucking blunt dude dude that's so sick did he inhale no i heard it was just sticks and stems only
so your ideal blunt you love that mid stop dude didn't you tell us recently that you the one time
you rolled a joint it was unsmokable yeah in denver this is like how is that possible this
is probably 12 years ago uh what do you mean how is it possible i don't know like what was
unsmokable like It wasn't packed enough.
It wouldn't draw at all.
I had to take it out and have someone else do it for me.
Damn, dude.
Look, if you want a good J-roll, don't come to your boy.
That's all I'm trying to say.
I'll give you some sticky weed, but I can't roll it for you.
Don't go to the 40-year-old guy wearing all denim.
He's not going to's not gonna do it should we pick up some reggie and
do a blunt rolling contest for circling back reggie come on dude you don't smoke reggie i
don't know what that is it's very in your world is it super sticky no no it's kind of the opposite
it's kind of the opposite super that's why i don't know what it is because I don't fuck with this shit.
I'll be honest.
I don't really totally know what Reggie is because I don't buy marijuana from dealers
and stuff.
I don't fuck with that low-end shit.
Yeah, it's not really my thing.
I just give it to Dave whenever it comes across my desk.
I'll smoke anything.
I'll donate it.
We got some major news.
It's not that major.
But yeah, we still got some Wilmont's polo still available.
Size large only.
Go cop one.
They're going away.
By the time spring hits and you're like, damn, I need the perfect patio shirt.
I need the perfect shirt to go out and golf with the boys on a bachelor party.
I need the perfect shirt to wear to a happy hour with all my coworkers.
So they think, oh, this guy's cool.
But he also wears moisture wicking material.
Ladies, Valentine's Day is coming up.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Get your man something springy, something he can play golf in.
Welcome to Wilmonds.
There are 20 larges left.
20 larges left.
I might just buy them all myself and put them on eBay for like $1,000 each.
No other size is available at this point.
Yeah.
If you get it, it might be signed by your boy.
Put it on the marker.
They're game worn Will DeFreeze Wilmonds polos.
That's what's up.
I'll wear a polo to the next meetup and do a jersey swap,
even though last time we just swapped back because he wanted his dope polo.
Where do we do that?
Houston.
H-Town.
More on meetups in a little bit.
Tomorrow, beyond the paywall, we have Randy's Game Show.
Randy will be hosting.
Dylan will be producing, as Dylan got last place in our last edition of Randy's Game Show,
which means Brett Merriman will be sitting in Dylan's chair really going after it.
So it's going to be an exciting time beyond the paywall.
Patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast.
If you want to leave us a voicemail, 888-618-4422.
Newsletter hit different the other day.
Watch.substack.com.
And you can watch all this on youtube.com
slash circling back
for all the patrons out there.
We do have a patron exclusive
item dropping this week
beyond the paywall.
It's a beautiful t-shirt.
Something tells me
that it won't need to get promoted
outside of Patreon,
but we'll see.
It's time
to recap this weekend in fun.
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That's pretty much me.
I'm looking at that second shelf just thinking, please have an aesthetically pleasing bottle here.
And if I get it home, I don't even know if it tastes good or not because I'm an idiot.
I'm kind of wine stupid.
I don't, I don't, I look at it, you know look at a shelf of wine like I don't know what's good here.
So it's just a random grab bag situation for me.
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They sent me a lot of it.
Yeah, we know.
And every single one I've had –
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Every single one I've had, Will, is very good.
I had one last night that had a fly fisherman on it.
It was absolute gas.
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Dylan?
Hello? password steam for a hundred dollars off your first six bottles dylan hello did you get anything done this weekend oh wow thanks for asking will uh friday i went out with you fellas and our friend john duda who's in from out of town you got some mexican food
a place on the east side. Fun little spot.
Interesting spot.
Interesting spot.
The kitchen, Dave, just absolutely buzzing.
You noted.
Yeah.
Apparently, I'm the only one who enjoyed that scene. Dave went to the bathroom and came back and was like,
dude, you guys got to pop into the kitchen right now.
It's going off in there.
Let's just say his wife was also with him.
It was a lot of fun as well.
Not just John, but his wife as well.
Great time. Then we went to Kelly's and I drank well. Not just John, but his wife as well. Great time.
Then we went to Kelly's
and I drank,
I don't know,
a million Guinnesses.
I think you had like three.
I had three.
I think we just had
like three rounds for the boys.
If you had that many,
I need to resend that Venmo.
Yeah, yeah.
I had three Guinnesses.
Guin-I.
Plural.
Be careful there, buddy.
And yeah,
I got a little inebriated decided to go home
saturday big family day parks and i went to my dad's uh my sister brother-in-law were there
their little uh daughters and uh it was just a great time we went out to eat sunday go uh
moddy says moddy's really close to his house, so we went to Mottie's.
Hacienda?
Si.
Went on Brody?
Si.
To good Mottie's.
Not on Brody.
I guess I'll just fuck off for the rest of the show.
Yeah, it's on Brody.
Hey, Dave.
Dave, could you do me a favor?
Brody and Slaughter.
Could you fuck off the rest of the show?
I'm back.
I don't have to fuck off anymore.
And Sunday, spent a lot of the day outside.
The weather was beautiful.
I was, I needed some vitamin D.
And vitamin D aplenty yesterday.
So I was outside a lot.
I'm so glad you got the D yesterday.
Needed all the D.
Did you pop top?
I popped top, yeah.
Did you?
Took Stella to Zilker.
Did you do the thing where you get it on your butt?
Yeah.
He's asking if you sunned your butthole.
I did a quick sesh, like 15 minutes.
I need to find a quiet area and just try that one time.
What's stopping you?
Finding a quiet area and getting 15 minutes alone to myself.
Lack of privacy.
Because if someone catches you, that's a tough one to explain.
Yeah, it's a compromising position to be caught in by one of your neighbors.
Yeah.
Do you think FedEx guy rolls up and I'm just spreading evil in my lawn?
It's tough.
Do you think anyone's ever done it for too long and gotten sunburned?
Yeah.
Sure.
Boy, that's not a good place to get sunburned.
Like top of the feet, top of the ears, those are two tough places.
Scalp if you're lacking coverage up top.
Two hole though?
Two hole is tough.
Top of the feet has to be the worst.
Sock play.
In eighth grade, I had to wear socks at the pool every single day after that first day.
Just not putting stuff on my feet.
I was the kid at the pool just rocking ankle socks.
That's so swaggy.
You should have just worn aqua socks.
Dude, I didn't have a choice, David.
We were in Mexico.
We were at an expensive resort. They upcharged worn aqua socks. Dude, I didn't have a choice, David. We were in Mexico. We were at an expensive resort.
They upcharged the aqua socks there, my guy.
Socks at the resort pool.
Hitting them with it.
That concludes my weekend in fun.
Dude, that sounded like a weekend filled with fun.
Here's the rock.
Hey, so yeah, we had a good time at dinner i got there late i had the uh the random chair they just threw up against the head of the table not a big deal didn't have the way that
restaurant operates though i do like their menu but we had a table that was probably for four, and we tried to go five.
And the way they bring it out, it's a horizontal plate play.
And I didn't really have the room.
Will, at one point, I dropped my little foil container of tortillas, and Will picked it up for me.
That was really cool of you.
I enjoyed my meal.
I'll say I hated the menu there.
Really? Yeah. I thought it was absolutely trash. The QR code, you had to do the QR code.
That's a great point. You bring up the menu and the menu had no prices for anything. So you're
just kind of like guessing. Yeah. Which is fine. Like when you had a group dinner and everyone's
splitting it, but like, you don't want to be the person that accidentally orders like a $48 fish
taco plate or some shit. Very, very fair. And again, the kitchen, I have to say they have the
little, uh, it's like a house, an old house on the East side. What's the place called? Lichas?
Lichas? Lichas. I don't know. No, I wasn't familiar with their game until that night.
To walk to the restroom, they have two restrooms and then they have like the, um, little washroom
outside of it so you wash
your hands um right there in the kitchen you can see it's right across the way and they're just
blaring pitbull and like everybody you could see like all all the people in the kitchen were really
into it i was like wow this is a scene so i go back to the table and i i decide for some reason
that anybody would care and i'm like dude kitchen's a scene right now. 10 minutes later, like two people
had gone to the bathroom.
They're like, yeah,
it didn't look like anything crazy.
Not for me.
It was just like one dude
just like working his ass off cooking.
So I regret the error.
Yeah, you really blew that, man.
My mistake.
Is it because you had
a Bluetooth speaker with you
and you were blasting Pitbull
when you walked by the kitchen?
Might have been.
I have one on my little
chain wallet now.
That's sick. You didn't know I had that motion did you that's big motion man oh let's see saturday so we're doing we dealt with our first bout of child
strep throat the roads man uh was under the weather although you wouldn't be able to tell
it's like it's amazing when kids that age are sick it's
like nothing is bothering them you know asks for a little bit more wants a a lollipop wants a pop
school a little bit more than normal but kind of stayed home he's cut from a different cloth dude
he is a different breed they don't they don't make them like him they just stopped in the last
three years they yeah they broke the mold i broke them mold with this one. Sunday was the day. Actually, you know what? Saturday night is
kind of when Sunday started because I made meatballs. Oh, I sent you guys a pic. I didn't
get as much love on it. I thought maybe sending the boys some meatballs, they'd get a little bit
more into the exclamation points on the text. And that's fine that they didn't, but they were very good meatballs.
I did something I've never done with a meatball. Will's going back. Will's checking the receipts
here. I just want to make sure that you got appropriate amount of love. No, Dave got fucked
on this text. Sorry, dude. It looked good. You got zero reactions to the actual photo of meatballs.
I will say, Dave, I almost responded
to your text and said, I would break pescatarian to eat your meatballs. And I would. That's all I
need. And you know what? Thank you. I only eat meatballs that are a proprietary mixture of pork
and beef with some of my favorite part of meatballs is really Dave's special rizzle drizzle.
You cook them in that thing? I baked them in it, yeah.
I didn't pan fry them.
It's a little bit easier of a cleanup.
Then the key is to let them sit in the sauce.
You got to let them sit in the gravy.
You got to let them get lost in there a little bit.
You just forgot about it.
Oh, where'd that other meatball go?
Six hours later, I was like, those meatballs are still in there.
Sunday was, look, we know what sunday
was about watching football didn't go my way in either game sorry will it's okay uh we would
have lost the ravens you've been playing the chiefs i know but had had it gone everyone's way
we would have ended up losing to the ravens i don't know dude detroit
i had it they're
they should have won that game uh rolled right into true detective episode three
what's the review i'm seeing a lot of conflicting stuff online david
the the only issue i have and it it's not really a negative thing,
the only part I'm going to give away, it's Alaska, very far north,
and they're in kind of that point in the season where the sun just doesn't come out,
so it's just dark at all times.
So you have no idea what point of day they are, like what time it is.
It could be 2 a.m.
It could be 4 p.m.
You don't know.
Well, time is just a society-built structure, Dave.
It's a flat circle.
That's right.
That's something we learned, season one.
But I'm enjoying it.
And there's a really creepy part at the end that I won't give away.
But I can tell you, if you quote the hospital room scene to your wife
as she's trying to go to sleep,
it doesn't go over well.
That's all I'm going to say.
And here I am. Will, I'd like to hear your weekend.
You know, it was a good weekend.
I made the classic
mistake on Friday of not eating lunch.
Which then really
caused me to have quite the hangover
after going out with the lads on Friday night.
After the circling back boys decided to leave,
I decided to hang back with the young crew.
We had to get some pints down with Randy, you know?
Your in-laws? Oh, you mean me and James.
Yeah, yeah, you and James.
And so we hung out there.
Shout-out to the backers at Kelly's Irish Pub.
Shout-out to the guy who sat next to us at Kelly's Irish Pub
who looked like he was from, I don't know, the 1800s.
With the chops?
Dude, he had the greatest sideburns I've ever seen.
He had on glasses that just reminded me of Shmi from Hook.
The dude was just electric.
It's like he got there via horse and carriage.
He had a kilt.
Yeah, he was even wearing a kilt.
It was really just a beautiful thing.
Waking up on Saturday was a little tough.
I thought some Advil the night before
would remedy everything.
It didn't.
I was feeling it too, man.
Yeah, yeah.
I do hesitate to talk about my weekend at large
because I did make a mistake this weekend.
Well, technically, actually, let me talk it out with the court.
I played my Zah card hungover on Saturday.
Right.
This was after a lunch at Maudie's where I got some enchiladas
with a fried egg on top of them.
Shout out to the Marfa stack.
Very good.
But that didn't cure the hangover, so I decided to go Zah.
Sally was going out with some friends that night, and so when I played the Zah card, I felt good about it. So I decided to go Zah. Sally was going out with
some friends that night. And so when I played the Zah card, I felt good about it. Wasn't the best
Zah though. Last night I was like, well, we're staring at an NFC championship game right now.
I got to get some Detroit style pizza. So did I, I mean, now I just can't play my Zah card the rest
of this week, but I didn't break any rules last week, right? No, you chose to go back to back Saturday, Sunday, but everybody knows it starts over on Sunday. Everyone knows that it's settled.
So I got some Detroit style pizza. We did the eight corner because, you know, I'm a savage.
That's what's up. I did a veggie forward pizza, had a lot of peppers on it, but I also got a
little pineapple on it because I wanted a little sweetness in it. It was really the juxtaposition.
It's a J play.
I had a buddy over.
He brought his son over, and we really enjoyed the game.
The vibes were high, but the second he left, everything started to go downhill.
Sally started criticizing me because I took off my jersey
to switch into some pajamas in the middle of the game.
Oh, no. And I put my jersey to switch into some pajamas in the middle of the game. Oh, no.
And I put my jersey over my pajamas.
But she thinks that in the small three-minute window when I didn't have the jersey on,
she worries that I jinxed the entire season right then.
It's a butterfly effect.
It doesn't feel good when your wife is blaming the entire season on that three minutes of
just jersey swapping.
It was tough.
I can say if we had been doing a watching party
and you had done that, I would be upset with you.
I'm going to hope that there are other factors in play,
but now we have a Taylor Swift versus Bob Weir Super Bowl.
So it's really going to tell a lot about what people,
their rooting interests in this Super Bowl.
You understand the butterfly effect, Dylan?
I do, yeah.
Why don't you explain it
to the folks at home yeah so uh one one little minor thing can change future outcomes unforeseen
that's not it's butterflies affect the environment in so many ways but the effect it applies more
than just actual butterflies so one butterfly flaps it's a cute little monarch wing yeah and
next thing you know travis kelsey's doing beastie boys see that ashton kutcher movie and i never saw it dude where's my car uh the butterfly effect didn't age well let
me tell you it was an answer today on the barstool trivia thing i don't know i clicked it i just did
the barstool trivia sean wayne scott ashton kutcher yeah i can't believe that movie wasn't great no dude sweet dude sorry and that's all I
did this weekend go Lions thanks for everyone for freaking with me this season had a really good
time how are you feeling about Dan I'm fine we wouldn't be where we are without Dan Campbell
you know he's to get some criticism
for going for it but as someone who is sitting
on the couch yelling go for it
it doesn't feel right for me to
sit there and criticize
we went for it
on fourth down this season
more than any team has literally ever done in this
century so I'm not going to complain
we got here biting kneecaps
and we're going to go down biting kneecaps that's what it is man you know that
coaching matchup was longhorn v aggie i try to suppress the fact that he's an aggie but
yeah that's okay it's mostly because aggies are mean to me he's a very likable one so i kind of
wish you went to tech uh robert o'keene lyle love it, Dan Campbell. That's my list. Lyle's another one that I ignore.
Yeah.
Johnny Manziel.
Sure.
Johnny too.
Even though he's about seven inches taller than you.
He's not.
We've seen the photo.
He's not.
Is he the only NFL quarterback to make himself shorter just to have the chip on his shoulder get bigger?
Yeah, kind of.
It sure seems that way.
I think Baker probably does some shit like that too.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Yeah, but Baker is like, he's open about being short whereas like johnny manziel
pretends to be short but actually is not yeah he's like a solid six one he's so much maybe he did
that surgery after he got uh got in the leak where he extended his shins he did the reverse
has anyone ever done that surgery like in like to get shorter like they
want to be a short king like uh bro i'm too tall like dude i just i'm getting too much attention
i don't know man prob's not
i don't i don't really want to be here anymore because i said probs no just because like i don't really want to be here anymore. Because I said probs? No, just because like, I don't know.
I've been really trying to put aside the lion stuff.
Trying to act like it hasn't been happening.
It's okay.
It's okay.
We'll get him next season.
Until then, we're just going to have to groove through life.
There it is.
That's, that's.
This guy's the goaded man.
You know, even though the lions weren't easy on my emotions it became a lot easier on my wallet which has been struggling lately i need to replace it
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rock. Yes, thank you. Well, big time stuff to talk about right here. So we've talked to you guys about what we're going to do with the circle. What was that?
You'll see.
Okay. We've been talking about the circling back meetup that we're going to be doing in 2024. And we've mentioned how there's going to be a major charitable aspect to it. So what we decided to do is we've narrowed it down to,
it is not eight cities,
not nine.
We'll explain why in a minute.
Cause we ate that up.
Eight cities on the list.
And the cities that we chose for the list are places where we have a lot of
listeners and places where honestly we kind of want to visit.
Dude,
let me announce the cities.
Well,
let me announce the cities. Please take it away away here here are the cities per will to freeze this is in no particular
order we're not ranking the cities currently the cities that are up for grabs here are atlanta
that's in georgia madison wisconsin seattle new york new york washington dc charlotte York, Washington, D.C., Charlotte, Nashville, and Denver.
If you're a Chicago person, you might be wondering why it's not listed.
It's because it stinks, baby.
Chicago stinks.
We love Chicago.
And we'll explain later why it's not on the list.
But the fundraiser is now live.
We will send you links via social media when this episode is over.
But there's a website called Fundly, and it exists to collect donation funds like this.
So it kind of works out perfectly.
And I have set up teams.
There are eight teams, and each team is the city, like each city.
So when you go to this website, you're going to want to – and it's all – the instructions are all right here. So you won't be too confused, but you're going to want to
scroll down and find your city. It'll be on the bottom right of the page. You select your city.
And from there you will donate that way. Your funds will be applied to your city.
What if we name the teams? I think the best way to do it is just have the city be the team name,
I think the best way to do it is just have the city be the team name, David.
There's a Seattle city, an Atlanta city.
Okay.
Fair.
Whichever city raises the most money, that's where the meetup will be.
Pretty simple here.
All the proceeds from the donations will go to St. Jude's Children's Hospital.
Yes.
All the money will go to St. Jude's.
St. Jude's. So even if your city doesn't win, your funds will still be given to St. Jude's.
It's, you know,
I think this is
the best way to do it.
Yeah.
St. Jude's,
a wonderful organization.
Are you getting
your beak wet in this?
Are you getting
a little taste here?
I'm going to make
a donation to a city.
I'm not.
I'm not saying
which city I'm going
to do it to,
but I will be
making a donation.
So the platform that collects the funds, it's Stripe.
They collect a small fee.
We don't collect the fee.
So every dollar that we get will go to St. Jude's, every single one.
Cool.
It's like a processing fee.
It's just standard stuff, you know.
Anyway, it is now live, folks.
And again, we will drop you the link.
We'll put put in the
description of this episode as well as social and probably a newsletter announcement this week as
well so get get to donating if you want us to show up to your city you better come correct
now let's talk chicago for a second oh dylan why is it chicago on the list man we thought you
yeah we put we put chicago too much on the list, man? We love Chicago.
We put Chicago too much on the pedestal. Here's the thing.
We're going to Chicago. In June,
I believe, we are headed to Chicago for a meetup.
So we
are doing two meetups this year. One in Chicago
and one from the list of these eight cities.
The Chicago one is
sponsored by our good friends at Muggsy.
So that
one's happening, folks, in June.
I don't know the exact date.
It hadn't even been determined yet, but it's happening.
We'll be in Chicago this summer.
Might catch a Cubs game.
Might go to a parlor and get some wild-ass Bloody Marys.
I don't know what we're going to do yet.
It's going to be dope, though.
We're probably not going to go to Lou Malnati's.
Don't.
Probably not going to go because it stinks, baby.
What's the other place?
Giordano's.
We'll go there, right?
We'll go to Giordano's.
I'm not going to eat an hour before bedtime before bedtime don't do that i made that mistake so yeah we're
doing chicago and one of these other cities so also if you don't live in one of these cities
but you just want to like donate to the general fund you can do that just don't select one of
the teams you can just donate straight from that landing page. It's been too long since we've done a meetup, first and foremost. But secondly,
we don't do enough charitable work around here. We have a platform that we can really generate
some dollars for some good people out there. And I feel good that we're actually making good on
this because it's been too long since we've done something like this.
This campaign ends at the end of February, which is a leap year. February 29th is the last day.
We're going to shut
it down after that. Shut it down. What does that mean exactly? Which part? The leap year? The leap
year. So the way the calendar works is a year is technically, it adds up to like 365 and like
one fourth of a day, technically speaking. So every four years they add a day on to like recorrect how the calendar turns over. So it's like pie.
No, no.
I pretty much just explained it in the most layman terms I can.
Okay.
Sorry.
I just have trouble.
I feel like there's a way around just adding a day.
It seems arbitrary.
It might be a better method somewhere.
I saw a method online one time where someone said they should just add a
zero day to january just make it january zero and then just even out everything so you just
everyone gets a free day once every four years instead of just putting it on the regular calendar
and making us work and shit on it is it a purge day maybe like nothing nothing no laws it's goblin
mode do whatever you want yeah it's goblin day that's kind of sick you can gobble anything you want and you're going standard gregorian calendar you just looked at it dude
shout out to greg dude who's this fucking greg greg shout out to greg for creating a calendar
dude he is a dog i'm a little worried about nashville charlotte potentially cannibalizing
because you know uh we have a lot of listeners
in that region
so that
it's going to be interesting
to see what happens
with Atlanta, Charlotte, Nashville
I have a prediction
I think Nashville wins
yeah
I can see Nashville
Nashville people
have been the most outspoken
about getting to their city
Nashville would be a fun one
Nashville's really easy
to get to from Austin
it's a fun city
someone who did it last weekend
like I would
it would be such an easy meetup hot chicken country music okay you were talking about hot
something else before ass oh chicken yeah you left out the best part
randy is going to uh ride his bike to whichever location it is. It's true. And you're going to have a GoPro on.
That dumper is going to be out of control when he gets there.
And for every mile, Randy is going to personally donate to St. Jude's.
I don't think that's going to happen.
Are you still planning on matching every donation?
It's very generous of you.
Am I going to be getting a raise to do this?
Yeah, we'll see about it.
Yeah, we're using the funds from the stuff to give you your raise so you can match
the donation and put it in yeah yeah we got to cook the books first just make sure you select
your city first your team that way we i think it'll be calculated um accurately yeah it's a
little confusing there's a big donate now button when you first get there yeah don't click that
that'll go to the general fund i noticed pecos wasn't on here yeah what's up with that no one from pecos spoke
up man okay that's a bummer i know that's a bummer they're all too but if you live in pecos you can
still donate but we're not going to go to your town okay okay do we do we rule out canada because
of the turbocharged super pigs that have been running around up there yeah that yeah yeah we
took we took banff off it's a good segue i mean here's the thing when we see the phrase turbocharged super pig we not only click
but we uh make some room in the rundown for it at first glance these pigs are pretty pretty cute in
my opinion pigs are cute man certified uh but unfortunately a breed of massive furry and ever
hungry super pigs have
been wreaking ecological havoc across canada and their numbers are expected to spike country-wide
this year according to recent monitoring data uh wild pigs are the worst invasive large mammal on
the planet they're often referred to as an ecological train wreck said ryan brooke what
if you were referred to as an ecological train wreck that's just so rude oh my god that's me
like on sunday so this
this guy's a he's a professor at the university of saskatchewan and i think he i think you actually
majored in this at texas state dylan it said that he's studying feral hogs didn't you say
used to specialize in that at texas state what do you mean by that exactly i think you were talking
about um your roster of women jeez fucking clean it up you're disgusting someone someone uh the
other day this is slightly off topic he was served an old tfm from way back in the day
and it was uh moby dick pledge he only he's only allowed to sleep with whales
wait what do you mean rude what do you mean served like on twitter it was this is on
facebook oh yeah like maybe he posted a long time ago like hey remember when you when you shared
this ah yes he hit him with that repost yeah moby dick pledge he only sleeps with whales that's so
that's so messed up that's rude people i i do have slight concerns over these super pigs especially
being in texas where they've been running rampant do we need to be worried about the trillions of cicadas this year randy no i mean they out of control
it's just that it's two different broods that are having the same time they come every once 17 years
or 13 years i'm excited they're gonna i'm gonna be back home for it my bro why are you excited for
cicadas because me and my brother were both into bugs when we are growing up and we grew up next
to a forest
preserve so i'll be back home for a wedding so i'll be able to hang out with him we'll be able
like do the thing we did 17 years ago when we were in like high school middle school that's good
icebreaker when you're talking to a random at the bar like just just bust into what you just told us
dude they're loud though they're they are loud it cannot it cannot be louder than last summer
have you all seen the videos of like them on people's cars and you have to like wipe them
off with your windshield wipers because they're just like all over it i don't even notice them
i don't think they're as bad in texas as they are in other places yeah they're in the midwest
they're bad especially if it's a a year for them to be coming out double brood one of the double
brood one of the conspiracies that i've found that I haven't covered is the humming sound in Minneapolis.
People think it's like alien or something.
There's just a hum in the environment.
And it's fucking cicadas.
They haven't figured it out that that's what's going on.
How do they survive the harsh winters?
They fly south.
Do they?
No, they burrow underground.
What's a super pig, you might be asking yourself?
Well, someone had a great idea of doing a hybrid breed
of a domesticated pig and a wild boar.
That's Dave next, or two Sundays from now,
just Venmo and everyone in sight.
They're bigger, they're hairier, they have big tusks,
and they are very resilient creatures,
and they breed like crazy.
So they bred like a normal pig with just the hogs
that have been terrorizing everything?
By cross-breeding them,
the idea was to make them better for production.
Unfortunately, what happened is it turbocharged them
and made them into what we call super pigs, hybrids.
They have all the advantages of both types of pigs
and do really, really well.
That's what it says.
Dave,
if a pig was going from being a normal pig to being turbocharged,
what would that look like?
I don't know.
It looks like,
or sound,
sound like too.
I've never felt this power.
Yeah.
That's super,
supercharged,
man.
Turbocharged.
They weigh upwards of 600 pounds pounds it probably looks something like this
okay dude that was good that was good this article says they weigh uh some way upwards
of 600 pounds about as much as two adult pandas why are we weighing things in pan adult pants
yeah dude i totally know how much an adult panda weighs. It's so stupid. Pandas? Yeah, like, okay.
So pandas are 300 pounds.
That's all I got from that.
They're not native to this region.
It's just not a good calm.
They will eat almost anything, this article also says.
Do they weigh a similar amount to a boulder?
That tweet got some more play over the weekend.
Really?
Just resurfacing?
Yeah, it's a good tweet.
A large boulder the good tweet a large boulder
the size of a small boulder i just i they need to we need a pig authority in north america
a pig czar yeah we need a pig czar dylan are you willing to be the pig czar i don't i don't want to
be a pig czar no why i like pixar movies though no man you just no no no no no no no no no no no that's a point for dylan for
tomorrow's game show no no no he's not even on it tomorrow he's repeating you don't give him a
point don't give him a point i feel like different parts of the world like they don't like this is
these are the same problems that everyone's known about for 10 years with the pigs like being an
issue but like until it gets into their backyard canada is like oh then it's like whoa what the fuck it's like
dude where have y'all been i bet they have longer hair up in canada you know because of the
environment the climate yeah sure yeah the horses out at our ranch in the winter time their hair
gets longer and then shorter in the summer that's a vibe dude isn't that weird it's a vibe it's
fucking cool it's weird that they try to stomp you out zip you up listen fuck those horses man
they really did that was is it unsettling going out to the ranch now knowing that you have like
a group of horses that's adamantly against your existence yes i won't i won't walk around them
anymore unless they're like in a pen it's it's it they fucking run up on you it was really
terrifying i would have simply broken those horses i got back to the house my heart was beating through my chest and i couldn't talk
it was terrifying now you know how i felt when i was naked in front of that iguana for three hours
pretty much the exact same thing okay it's pretty much i thought i was scared for my life dog
remind me why you were naked in front of an iguana because i was swimming and everyone was gone from
the house and the iguana just sat there looking at me
and I didn't know if it was going to do anything to me.
Like making fun of your piece or what?
Like when you're younger, like you don't know if iguanas are going to...
I didn't know anything about iguanas in general.
How old were you?
I don't want to say.
I think I was 14.
28?
No, I was 14.
Okay.
You needed the party gecko to pull up.
I know.
I know.
A bunch of geckos would have been way...
A turbocharged super geckos would have been way a
turbocharged super geckos would be so much more swag can you imagine it's just a dinosaur
yep
do that is it so when you go back do they even acknowledge you like like hey we try yeah like
is it weird or y'all have y'all kind of like squashed that
we just avoid eye contact it's one of those like you see someone you went to high school with at
the grocery store like i don't want to i don't want to have to talk to this person so you just
don't look at them god dude you never would have survived at the four sixes you wouldn't survive
in harbor springs michigan where you can't go to any location of anything without seeing someone
that you know if i see you and i haven't spoken to you in five years, let's just let it be.
Whenever we go to the gas station, Sally's like,
which high school friend are you about to run into at this gas station?
I'm like, I'm not sure, but I can't wait to find out.
Yeah.
Did y'all have a gas station that would sell you cigarettes underage?
No, we weren't trying to buy cigarettes underage, David.
Smoking kills.
Smoking if you got them, though.
The one that, the one, the popular one in Duncanville, and I won't call it out because I'm not a narc,
it's still there, and it hasn't changed.
It's like the only gas station in town that hasn't changed its name five times.
But it's still there, and I'm like, something's going on.
We couldn't do that kind of thing because everyone knew each other.
That's true.
Like, it was too impossible.
I'll tell you about the guy in my high school who he knew
this much smaller kid from
my high school worked at.
Remember Eckerd?
Eckerd's?
Oh, yeah.
It was my pharmacy growing up.
He would walk into Eckerd's.
He would go get a case of beer from the fridge, whatever, and he'd walk by the counter and
take a $20 bill, wall it up in a ball, and throw it at him and walk out.
Why?
Because he knew he wasn't going to stop him.
No underage kid would actually do that yeah
yeah you got to be an old weather dick he was just like a 17 year old like small high school
kid this like older like upperclassman who had like 40 pounds on him what he just wasn't gonna
do anything and he knew that yeah he just threw it at me i respect it i respect it he put him
in such a tough position there was rumors of one in the town over that would sell to like pretty
much anybody,
but we didn't have it in us to go figure that out.
I couldn't call my parents and let them know I was buying beers at Scooby's.
The beer gas station in Grand Prairie, they would sell to us with our college IDs.
We were 18 or 19.
We would just be like, dude, we're in college, man.
We're definitely of age.
And they were like, okay.
Sure. It worked for a while. Yeah, like, dude, we're in college, man. We're definitely of age. And they were like, okay, sure.
It worked for a while.
Yeah.
Cause no one in college is under 21.
No,
that's pretty funny.
We fooled them.
I used to fake ID once and I was so scared.
I never tried it again.
I could pop you at a store.
I used my,
I used,
I used my fake ID exactly one time.
And the guy looked at me,
he goes,
what?
I was like,
yeah,
I get it.
Like, it's not, it's not a good fake. Thank you though. Did he take it? No, my fake id exactly one time and the guy looked at me he goes what i was like yeah i get it like
it's not it's not a good fake thank you though did he take it no he gave it back to me and i
gave it back to my buddy who gave it to me just it was it was a pretty lame process that's my
entire fake id experience dylan who who made your fake id it wasn't it was a real id that belonged
to somebody else. Okay.
Seems Justin.
You didn't just use a package of Oscar Myers?
Is that funny, Randy?
Everyone else is laughing.
Everyone else is cracking the fuck up right now.
Yeah, part of the reason I was so svelte growing up was because I didn't have a fake ID.
But these days, I need a little extra kick
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You know, I recently moved, boys.
I moved from a condominium into a house.
It's been a pleasurable experience.
I don't like moving, but I like being in a new place.
a pleasurable experience.
I don't like moving,
but I like being in a new place.
But in doing that,
some routines have changed.
No longer am I fighting
with a random dude
with a water bottle
magneted to the side
of his car.
Now I have a new enemy
in town,
but he doesn't live
next to me.
He just makes an appearance
every once in a while.
Milkman?
I think I need to fight
my FedEx driver oh shit
he would beat the piss out of me i want to be crystal clear about that okay i think traditionally
in good shape i have podcaster hands like ross bolin uh if you i don't know if you guys saw his
tweet uh recently just about how he needs some workout gloves because he's been uh putting up
weight lately he's soft i was like yeah you you got those blogger hands. You got to build those calluses up, Blair.
This guy's throwing around packages all the time and just being an absolute unit,
but he might be throwing around these packages a little too much.
See, we have a gate.
Sounds more baller than it is, but we have a fenced-in yard.
You live in a gated community.
No, no, it's just a fenced-in yard.
Okay.
And while the gate could be easier to open, I think that our FedEx driver is using the
difficulty of that gate as an excuse to simply throw our packages into our lawn.
Is it protocol to go inside a gate if you're a delivery driver?
I think it depends.
He used our dogs as an excuse one time, but I know the dog was not out when he was delivering
this package.
It just simply didn't happen.
It's a Springer Spaniel.
Yeah, she's a cutie.
And you know what? If he is intimidated by the dog, that's fine. I understand that. But I returned home the other day and there was just a random package in this part of my yard
that I don't usually look at, not in my rotation. And I looked at the side of the package and it
was just completely covered in mud as it had been raining. And I kind of just started looking and I was like, I think he's just throwing packages
into my yard, which like I kind of understand, but we're getting a lot of packages of new
stuff lately.
And I'm just like, can you just please just set, even if you just set it down nicely outside
of the gate, I still think that's better than just chucking into the yard.
I like that.
He's just heave hoeing the packages.
He's just doing like strongman competition
where they just they toss the uh the keg over the big wall and he's just doing that over your
exactly for no reason i have no power in this situation you need to put up a ring cam no lost
him don't work on him but you need to be like hey man i got you on video here i noticed you were
heave ho on the packages no i just you know you can't i don't want to i don't want to get into
like uh if i've learned anything about
myself, it's that I can't let go of things that are close to where I live.
And if I don't let go of those things, I begin to get really angry about them.
You know, like people feeding cream corn to ducks and such.
Right.
At all.
Invasive species.
Yeah.
You know I don't like species that invade.
No, that ain't it.
I don't care if it's a type of goose or a
turbocharged super pig so what are you gonna when are you gonna fight this fella i don't know
i'm not really sure uh i think if there's ever a day where the fedex guy rolls up with like the
ups guy i think i might just like really thank the ups guy for dropping the package at our front door
and hope that you know i can kill him with kindness enough that the fedex guy realizes it
so wait you are going to rely on a scenario where they arrive at the same time.
Okay.
You think there's a beef there?
No, there was a truce made back in the early 2000s.
A handshake deal?
Yeah.
They tied up one little brown bandana and a little red one and they held it up.
If you were going to be a delivery guy, where are you enlisting?
UPS.
UPS.
Already worked there.
The shorts are swag.
Yeah, but have you seen how much drip our USPS guy comes through with every single day?
He's different, though.
Yeah, he is different.
We've got the bad boy of USPS.
He recently cut his hair.
Yeah, he's less swaggy.
He's still pretty drippy, though.
Some days he doesn't even wear a USPS hat.
He just rocks a chill cap.
Might seem with the Howler Brothers
drawn on or something.
Howler Brothers John.
Kind of like you.
That's right.
If he was wearing that hat
with his delivery stuff,
I wouldn't even think twice.
I'd be like, oh, he matched that pretty well
with the rest of the outfit.
They are getting new cars for USPS, though.
They're rolling those things out. It's be expensive i don't know they electric i used to want to convert a mail truck to like my own personal vehicle why steering on the right
side i thought it was cool i mean just move just move to like britain or something i could just get
a car like that instead.
You know, in Italy, they drive on the correct side of the road, our side.
Facts?
Yeah.
I didn't know that until we went there.
And I was like, oh, shit, I could have just rented a car and figured this out.
I wouldn't have.
I probably would have gotten in a car accident.
It's still very, very intense driving over there.
Yeah, it's always a little unsettling when you're in a city in Italy and there's just people two inches away from the car and you can just crunch someone's foot at any given moment. Yeah. Or somebody like the car in front of you just like
tosses out a slice of pepperoni and you just spin out on it. Speaking of, can we talk about our news
story today? Yeah. A house in New Jersey has been vandalized. Dylan, I know you're a big fan of
doing, you know, toilet paper and stuff. I'm a big fan of vandalization, yeah.
You even pioneered the variation on forking,
where instead of putting forks in people's yards,
you just put hot dogs in people's yards.
How do you even do that?
You're the guy behind hot dogging?
I dig little holes.
Yeah, you aerate it, and they just stand in each wall.
It takes a lot of time.
It's a lot of time, dude.
It's a lot of time to do that.
You are funny. When was the last time you did that? Honestly, that's a felony. time, dude. It's a lot of time to do that. You're not funny.
When's the last time you did that?
Honestly, that's a felony.
You do it handless too, which is amazing.
Can we get to the story maybe?
Wait, how does that work exactly?
He puts a hot dog in his mouth and then he puts it into the aeration on the ground.
With my mouth.
It's disgusting.
Well, Heather Doherty, she woke up on wednesday morning
to a bunch of pepperoni everywhere what's this she said to herself that morning i'm on camera
so i can't say the words i exactly use but what is this from the door to the edge of the porch
and then strategically placed down the stairs to the driveway and four slices on the hood and
floor slices on the trunk of her car. There's just pepperoni everywhere.
What do you do if you wake up and you've been vandalized by pepperoni bandits?
Was this like a hate crime?
Like is it like they're targeting Italians or what's going on here?
Well, I don't know because she literally says in this,
she says certainly of the family of pepperoni –
hold on, sorry.
It says spending a lifetime in the business of pepperoni salami. Hold on, sorry. It says, spending a lifetime in the business of pepperoni,
the owner of Manville Pizza, Anthony Daniello.
Dave, can you say Anthony's name?
Anthony Daniello?
Daniello.
Anthony Daniello.
Says meat looks larger than the kind you would use on pizza.
He said it's certainly from the family of pepperoni salami.
Exactly what?
He cannot be certain. But he said, as an Italian the family of pepperoni salami uh exactly what he cannot be
certain but he said as an italian it hurts the heart it's just a waste of meat i don't like it
when people waste food for pranks like this so dylan something you want to think about going
forward this could be some capicola uh is there any chance uh is there any chance that somebody
was just trying to make a uh casual charcuterie board and things got out of control?
I don't think so.
Would you eat any of this salami?
That was just sitting on my front porch?
Probably not.
Oh, you're too good for front porch salami now.
Yeah, I am.
Okay, okay.
I am actually.
Is that what they do in affluent towns?
They just charcuterie their friends?
Mm-hmm.
Instead of toilet paper,
they just do like a nice decorative one,
but it's like,
now you got to clean it up.
A little pickles.
Did you see Dave's report?
We put so much Havarti on that thing.
Think about the ants and all the bugs.
Yeah, it's an ant play.
Yeah, you don't want that.
Hogs.
Yeah.
I hope this wasn't a hate crime.
I stand with all my Italian brothers out there, and sisters for that matter, if this was a hate crime i stand with all my italian brothers out there and sisters
for that matter if this was a hate crime because i don't approve of this if you haven't if you have
an italian family in your neighborhood simply give them the gift of salami don't don't decorate
their house with it give them some some salami don't be disgusting i will say the idea of slicing
up pepperoni salami and just like frisbeeingeing it at someone's front door does sound kind of fun.
Does it not?
Have you ever flung salami?
I can't recall a time that I've flung salami.
I find that a little hard to believe.
Didn't you say you did that when you got back from Kelly's the other night?
Come on, man.
Come on.
Do you think?
Heather definitely doesn't own a dog because like Rosie would have this cleaned up in about five seconds. Yeah. Dogs love salami and pepperoni. Listen, I love salami.
I'll eat that shit up, man. But not off the front porch or off the hood of my car. So I don't know
where it's been, you know, the whole thing. What's your top meat off of a charcuterie board?
Like if you walk into a wedding and they've got one of those big charcuterie boards that
everyone's just taking stuff off of, like what are you going for first?
I'm a prosciutto boy.
I don't know.
Maybe prosciutto.
Whatever one looks the best.
I don't necessarily know the names of all of them.
There's something so pleasing when they scrunch the prosciutto and it's just little like pinches of prosciutto.
It's just so easy to grab them and throw it down.
I'm always worried I'm going to take too much.
No.
No.
When it comes to prosciutto it's just so easy to grab here's the thing throwing it down i'm always worried i'm going to take too much no no when it comes to prosciutto it tends to stick together and you like you tend intend to get a little piece and it's like oh i just took half the
fucking prosciutto take the one you touch i know but what if i touch the thing and it comes off
it's like this huge thing i'm like oh that's yours that's why i feel bad that's why i avoid it
it's there to be eaten if i've learned learned anything about meat out at events like this,
it's that it always goes a little uneaten.
It's like Christian Slater at that house party.
He had all the caviar.
I don't want to take too much.
It's like Tom Hanks in You've Got Mail.
He was just doing a little caviar run around the side of an appetizer.
Got called out for it.
Ugly scene.
We've all been there.
You know I pull up to the board.
I'm going summer sausage.
That's how I earned the nickname.
Summer sausage is your nickname?
Summer of 06.
Remember that?
Not really.
Well, they were calling me the summer sausage because every party we went to, we had a board.
I walked right up, and I just took the whole damn thing.
Hey, hi, the summer sausage.
We got summer sausage coming over.
Yeah.
We had a friend who worked for a bakery for a summer, and she would show up to parties with a bunch of uh bagels from that day we just
drunk eat bagels that's what's up yeah dude yeah dude no one was hung over that summer that's the
drink though no we didn't scoop them dog oh god i don't fucking i don't do that david don't waste
food like this and don don't attack Italian families.
Yeah, their culture is not your... Whoa.
What's going on?
I don't care.
I'm getting wasted.
Oh, yeah.
I've got a worst-of story.
This was not submitted by anybody,
but the second I saw this, I thought to myself,
well, that's not great.
Someone who recently went on a ski trip, looked at a gondola, thought to myself, man, I'm not big into gondolas.
I like the idea of them.
I like the name of it.
Gondola rolls off the tongue.
What if I told you that a woman was stuck in a gondola this past weekend for an extremely long time?
I would say, thankfully, it wasn't a chairlift.
At least you had some protection from the elements,
but this is a nightmare situation.
Can you imagine being 15 hours in a gondola?
I immediately started thinking of Alyssa
in this situation, Dave,
as she did not seem to love the gondola in Breckenridge
due to motion sickness.
15 hours sitting anywhere without a phone,
without anything, without food, water,
whatever, just doesn't sound like an ideal situation. This must have been so traumatizing.
This poor woman, probably gonna have to go see her gondecologist.
Oh, took him a little bit.
oh pick them a little bit gone to college
Monica Lasso was on a skiing trip with her friends
when she got stranded on a gondola
sounds like she went up for some last runs
about 4.58
and they just shut that thing down
is the pal good then?
no it's all chopped up
I've always thought their system for making sure everyone was clear
is a little
willy nilly?
Antiquated.
It's like, all right, chair number 138.
And so you radio up, wait till that comes around.
That way we know they're all off the thing.
What would it sound like if it was chair 1738?
Yeah, chair 1738.
When that comes back around...
That was such a bad, bad attempt at 1738 i'm sorry
randy what would it sound like if uh it was chair 1738 and they needed to call up and say that was
the last one yeah last chair is gonna be 1738 it's gotta be pilot voice though you don't mean
though checking in on uh that's how, 38. Like, all right.
Hold on.
Let my man cook.
From here on out, I'm not letting anybody else on.
You radio up to the top.
Like, all right.
Check.
It feels like it's not a foolproof system.
Conditions are tough.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Have you ever gotten stuck on a chairlift?
Oh, that sounds scary to me. We didn't get stuck stuck, but we were stopped on a chairlift for 45 minutes once, and it was not a settling feeling.
Dude.
45 minutes feels like five hours.
Have you seen the video of that chairlift that goes out of control?
Yeah, it's sad.
That's the – oh, my God.
It is awful.
Have you seen this, Dave?
Yeah.
It's very frightening.
Like a mangled mess of chairs and yeah limbs at the bottom of it yeah
chairlifts fall off the uh wire more than you'd think i don't want to hear that man usually
happens at night when it starts getting blustery outside they're just swanging it's not moving
there it's just sitting stationary knocks them off ski area goes in picks it up doesn't tell
anyone it happens since they don't have to damn just saying this guy knows fucking behind the curtain shit the kid nick responsible for
clearing the gauntlet is it probably some like 17 year old working like a part-time job stoned
out of his mind yeah he's probably been hitting that sticky all dude yeah of course someone got
stuck up there right yeah that's. That's tough, man.
She's going to sue the mountain or what?
What's going on here? I don't know.
I mean, I don't know.
Emotional distress, David.
How do you serve the mountain?
Yes, I'm looking for...
You just signed this.
Yeah.
The mountain.
It just turns blue.
Who doesn't have a phone in 2024
while skiing alone like that should be a requirement if you're skiing alone
yeah all these people are getting caught in like there's been a lot of i think a fair amount of
deaths lately uh of people falling in the trees like the tree area of mountains and whether it's in an area with like a light post
or a snow maker a snow machine or whatever uh people have been falling into the crevice there
and unable to get themselves out dude that's another thing when they shut lifts down for the
day how do you know that everyone who needs access to that lift
has cleared i think it's on you at that point you gotta figure it out i know but like gotta find a
way not everyone's figured out not everyone's uh gonna nail that you know yeah yeah that has always
worried me when it like it's getting later in the day this is why i only do ski in ski out it's frat
dude that's it it's frat when i go every season that's what i do you like to just grab to your
front door dude i don't fucking even worry about that because i don't even do last tracks because
like you i just want to be there for the apres i just do helicopter skiing at this point hell
what's that well you jump out of a helicopter they take you up to the top and then you ski
down and they take you back up that's got to be expensive very yeah but you know i got it like
that you're nice with it.
Really?
You're spending all your hard-earned money on just helicopter skiing?
All of it, yeah.
I don't know if heli-skiing is, like, the move.
Well, my family is very poor now, so.
Oh.
Yeah.
Stop taking helicopters everywhere.
I can't.
It might straighten things out quickly.
I can't stop.
Yes, Dylan has a crippling addiction to heli-skiing.
Yeah.
You know, we were doing heli-skiinglla skiing. Yeah. We were doing hella skiing, though.
Oh.
That's scary.
I don't know.
She's got her ski stuff on.
Not that cold, right?
I guarantee you she was very cold.
It's colder at night, Davey.
People don't know that.
Yeah, that's fair.
It is colder at night.
And you're at elevation.
Double elevation, really.
Yeah.
Maybe she had like a nip of uh brandy with
her maybe some uh if she didn't boy fireball you know warm you up inside a little bit he's doing
brandy and monica let's not let's not forget let's not forget on monica dog oh my there's a time
okay do you guys have any thoughts on the protesters for the climate who threw soup
at the mona lisa this past weekend what kind of soup you see zach bryan was there
no yeah zach bryan saw the mona lisa i think later that day really or earlier that day one
of the two but he was he was at the mona lisa the day that they threw the soup on it the thing
about the mona lisa is it's behind like six inches of glass so she was probably fine with it dang
shorty soupy like six inches of glass. So she was probably fine with it. Dang.
Shorty soupy.
Yeah.
So it's not damaged.
They just had to,
they had to clean the soup off of the glass.
Oh,
then it's not that big of a deal.
No.
But wasting soup,
wasting food again.
Like what are we doing?
I don't waste,
I don't waste soup.
Was it,
what kind of soup?
Garbanzo?
I had split pea vibes.
I might waste some split pea soup.
I like split pea soup. No, there was a time in my life where I thought I liked it, but then I tried other soups and
I was like, oh, I probably don't need to order split pea very often at this point.
You got to split all those peas though.
Didn't you say you used to do that?
Yeah.
Dylan.
What?
Are you looking up?
Dave's just Googling summer sausage right now.
My man's just Googled imaging search. He's just hitting the images. Doesn't that sound good? He's just Googling summer sausage right now. My man's just Googling imaging search.
He's just hitting the images.
Doesn't that sound good?
He's going to go eat something for lunch.
No, dude.
There was a period of time when Fritz was, like last summer when Fritz was really into
summer sausage and there was a major shortage at our grocery store.
My bad.
That was me.
No, I'm hesitant to even talk about summer sausage on this podcast for fear it might
start getting sold out everywhere.
Yeah.
We just kicked off a run on summer sausages.
It would be so nice if you were in a gondola for 15 hours and like six hours in you realize, oh, yeah, I have that summer sausage in my jacket pocket.
That would change a lot.
It would make it so easy.
Do you think there's any calm knowing that like you're probably – you know you're going to get out when they fire it up again the next day?
It's just – you know it's a waiting game at that point.
I would just take my clothes off and treat it like a cold punch.
Just jump out of the gondola.
Yes, I would.
How far is it, like 20 feet?
No, it's far, dude.
Oh, yeah, the gondola, the chairlift is not that far, right?
There's parts of chairlifts where you're like,
you can justify jumping off and hoping that you just don't break anything.
Yeah. There's other parts of chairlifts where you're like you can justify jumping off and hoping that you just don't break anything yeah there's other parts of chairlifts where you're like yeah now now would
that that's where i always get a little dark when i start thinking on chairlifts i always think to
myself this would be the worst place to get stuck there are some yeah really high areas
that are very concerning but there is like a place where you could bog technically and you'd be fine
you just face first dive into that thing no i
wouldn't i wouldn't suggest going face first okay i've learned in the last two ski trips that i've
taken that i don't do well on uh chairlifts hungover that makes sense once they start to
sway your boy starts getting real real iffy it's the old age in me i've only thrown up hungover
once and it was on a swaying chairlift and And I think it was the motion sickness from the chairlift.
I got a little sick.
It was big motion, dog.
A little nauseous when I rode the chairlift the first time I skied.
And I forgot that I had to ski off of the thing.
And I was like, I've never actually skied before.
And I've got to dismount from this chairlift.
When I learned how to snowboard, the toughest part for me was getting off the chairlift.
I couldn't do it efficiently.
I looked like such a narp. It's an awkward position.
It's not great. It's not a great position.
Right. What are your favorites?
I don't know.
I don't know. Ski.
Tips up. You're a pizza guy.
Stop.
No one has ever pizza'd down a terrain park
harder than me.
You earned that Zot card that day player my quads were done
yeah being a when i was a ski instructor doing doing pizza all day was pretty tough on the legs
maybe that's what happened it is on the knees man stress on those knees especially your tiny
ass legs dog okay famously can't get mass
on those things
no matter what
you should maybe try pizza
and more
that's how you could
grow those legs
that's
no I don't think so
okay
thank you for the suggestion
have you thought about
getting injections
yeah
I have
let's get the fuck
out of here
bye
bye let's get the fuck out of here bye bye