Circling Back - NBA Finals & Who We're Fighting
Episode Date: June 11, 2019KD's injury, Warriors GM crying, in-arena watch parties, and Drake — we cover it all. We also double-down on Bieber vs. Tom Cruise by stating which older celebrities we're fighting, make our U.S. Op...en picks, and do This Weekend In Fun. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (11:22) Chill Gardener Snake Returns (15:33) KD, In-Arena Watch Parties, and Finals Crying (42:04) Dudes 31 Years Older Than Us That We're Fighting (58:50) U.S. Open Picks + Pebble Beach (1:12:47) This Weekend In Fun Fulton & Roark: www.fultonandroark.com (STEAM for $4 off the sample pack PLUS a $16 coupon) Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (CB20 for 20% off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
All right, we're back.
Circling Back Podcast.
It's Tuesday.
Normal feed.
Something new.
My name's Will DeFries.
To my right, Dave Ruff.
If you're a listener of this podcast and you're upset that we dropped this on Tuesday,
I suggest you just hold off until tomorrow to listen.
I suggest you ask Alexa to play I'm Upset.
Yeah, you could do that as well.
What's up, Dylan?
What's up, guys?
Why are you giggling over there?
What's so funny?
I don't know, man.
It's just going to be a good day.
It feels like one of the good ones.
I'm happy to be here.
Say like Dave had a cold and Dave couldn't record the podcast today.
Uh-huh.
Would you get on the mic right now and cry and say that you're sorry that Dave couldn't
play and couldn't be up to his standard of recording?
It seems to me that you're making fun of the warriors gm bob myers for crying
over kevin durant rupturing his achilles tendon is that a thing he did i'm pretty sure we just
watched it together as he was crying uh in this scenario if dylan gave me the cold maybe yeah
and dylan made you come in to record it's likely you get sick from some of my germs. You know, we're so close to each other
all the time.
It's been a while.
You guys make out a lot.
That's what I was trying to get to.
Thank you for filling in the blanks for me.
What is this podcast?
We don't make out for the record.
We'd be fine if we did.
I gotta call somebody out.
Governor of this state, Greg Abbott.
I think he heard our segment.
Why?
He's doubling down.
I just checked his feed.
This guy's doing all the video content.
He's vlogging.
I don't like my governor vlogging this much.
He's vlogging about him signing a bill, apparently legalizing it for kids to sell lemonade at
lemonade stands.
Oh, wow, dude.
That's so noble of you.
That is the most...
Like, cool, dude dude just pandering that's not in that's not a law that's enforced anyway no it no it does get enforced like once a year and when it does everybody freak not everybody
can you imagine going up to a seven-year-old and be like hey man where's your fucking permit
dude it does happen but when it happens it's all like, it does happen, but when it happens, it's all like Fox
News hones in on it as if it's the only
thing that happened that day.
And it's like, oh, fuck.
Big government, man. I can say
this. I can say this with confidence.
The boys in blue that listen to this podcast,
they don't stop kids from selling lemonade.
They're not that tight. In fact, they probably go get
lemonade. And the kids are like, no, it's on us.
And they're like, nah, dude, here's a 20.
Wait, that white lady who called the cops.
What was that little girl selling?
Like candy bars or something?
I don't know.
She's like raising money for like her school.
Yeah.
Did you guys ever do that in school?
Did you do the fundraisers?
We sold chocolate bars, yeah.
But like, did you actually go do it?
No.
My mom took him to work and she came back with like $100.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was great.
That was the only move.
Yeah.
There was no way that I was going to go door-to-door trying to sell that shit.
Oh, I went door-to-door.
What's the...
It teaches you initiative and the art of the deal.
But I feel like those companies are just using...
They are.
...child labor.
Oh, there's a kick...
We talked about this.
Maybe it was when you were gone.
We did a whole thing on this, but I think there's kickbacks and shit.
We did this with Barrett.
Dude, right?
It's gotta be.
Like, it's so sketchy.
I remember going door to door
and I thought I was doing really well
and then some neighborhood punks
just beat the living piss out of me
and stole them all.
Damn.
That's messed up, Dave.
Yeah.
You alright?
Yeah, I'm fine.
Are you?
Yeah.
I think they changed like the name of the company that we did it with.
Was it Balfour?
No, we had the Morley Candy Company.
But that was who did ours.
The more I think about it, I never even attempted to do it, and I'm glad I never attempted to do it.
See, that's why you don't close.
You don't have that instinct.
No, I'm fine.
I'm fine as a closer.
I'm not a good closer. I'm just to do it. See, that's why you don't close. You don't have that instinct. No, I'm fine. I'm fine as a closer. I'm not a good closer.
I'm just kind of whatever. But don't send
me out and be your free labor
and try to get me to win some bullshit
contest where I get a scholastic gift
certificate. I don't think it's about that.
It's totally about that. Dude, I think like Dave said,
it shows you how to make a buck a little bit
and how to turn
product into money.
You want to be the two kids swapping back and forth.
So one gives a dollar for a Nestle and then the other one, they just keep going back and forth until they are out of candy.
And then they realize, oh, we did this wrong.
I was kind of a shy kid, so I wasn't about to try to do that shit.
Well, there's a lesson you need to learn.
It's called there's no such thing as a free lunch.
Tin stuffle.
That's the lesson we learned that day.
That's another thing that happens on social media every once in a while.
A kid will forget his lunch money, and then a cafeteria lady will get fired
because she gave a free lunch one day or something.
This happened like a week ago. Really? Yeah, some some lady a week ago some where was this so i forget
some lady she gave a kid a free lunch because he he forgot his lunch money and she got fired well
he learned a lesson that day fired yeah she learned a lesson as well there's no such thing as a free
lunch dylan there is no someone's paying for it did y'all understand like high school middle school
we had the power lunch line which was absolutely just horrible food for you they started improving
like our lunches as i was in high school but we definitely got like the raw end of that like we
were we got the lame stuff and then like the people right after us got the good lunches we
had enchilada thursdays and they went so hard. Really? Oh, yeah. That's so Texas.
It was a big day for us.
There was a pizza line
and they gave you
like a small pizza
which was okay
but then my line was
I was baked potato guy.
Baked potato line
was the shit.
See, we didn't have
a baked potato guy.
That was like as good as it got.
That's pretty tight.
Yeah.
Did you like put anything on it?
They didn't have like
chicken fajita or anything
like it wasn't like
sputter and...
and sour cream and cheese and stuff? You could load it up with... That's tight, man. Yeah. That's chicken fajita or anything. It wasn't like spud or anything. But they had bacon bits and sauerkraut and cheese and stuff?
You could load it up.
That's time, man.
That's big time.
That's really good.
It was.
It was pretty good.
Man, how hard did those square pizzas go, by the way?
It was like that trash.
They were good.
It was that trash butter that came in the little...
It never actually melted.
It was not real butter.
Yeah.
It never actually melted.
No.
Oh, man.
Trying to spread cold butter on a on baked potato it's easy because
it melts but yeah yeah your boy your boy would get one of those giant cookies like every other day
the ones that were like weren't really baked you know i'm talking about yeah like in hindsight
that's disgusting it was essentially just cookie dough wrapped in saran wrap those pizzas were so
trash but they tasted so good. Yeah. The rectangle.
And you'd just dump ranch on it?
Oh, we didn't do that.
Oh, we would.
I would crush Texas goulash.
You guys had such different lunches.
I was just in the corner.
It was either meat and bean nachos or goulash for me.
Did y'all just have cold-wrapped sandwiches wrapped in saran wrap?
No, I wish.
Dressed chips?
That would have been dope.
When we had open lunch, we would go down and get those.
But no, we had a sandwich line, but it was, like, kind of expensive.
It was, like, $5.75 for a sandwich at the school.
What was the open lunch policy at your school?
Well, dude, so they messed up.
I was in high school at the same time they were redoing our high school,
and they tried to implement, like, this extended lunch thing where we had open lunch.
And anyone could leave for open lunch if you were
an underclassman and you had a ride somewhere you could go it didn't matter if you were senior or
not but they messed up one year and like some kids had like a 30 minute lunch and other kids had like
a 90 minute lunch i had like a 90 minute lunch and i was like this is great i can do anything
oh wow from 30 to 90 but dude like some kids just got absolutely screwed. And they had to eat lunch at like 1045 to 1115.
And then I had lunch from like 1130 to 1.
Wow.
And I was like, dude, imagine being that loser.
But we could go anywhere we wanted.
I would go home.
Only seniors could go off campus for lunch.
We did not have off campus lunch.
We used to, I had a buddy who drove a Jeep.
He was a Jeep guy. He had like the big tires a jeep he was a jeep guy
he had like the big tires on it
it's a jeep thing
we would jump the
jump the curb sometimes
and we got caught finally
oh we
we jumped the curb
a lot
what does that mean
and then
you just drove over the curb
and left the parking lot
so they would
they would monitor like the
the entrance to the parking lot
oh
so you could like
go around it
and hop the curb
damn
then they put
they like lined the parking lot
with like big boulders basically
so we couldn't do that anymore.
Damn.
Bad boy the fucking lunchtime.
Were you just going home
just getting cranks off?
No, I would actually get,
I would actually get poops off.
Oh, that's nice.
I didn't like pooping at school.
You know,
I don't know that I ever pooped at school.
I didn't like it.
I had a little shit break phase
like in American Pie.
Remember how he couldn't,
he couldn't do it in public?
I was kind of that.
I never have an issue with public, but school, there was just too much risk involved that
someone was going to like, I don't know, like light toilet paper on fire and throw it over.
That happened.
See, you had a much different...
Your bathrooms were probably a little more dangerous than my bathrooms.
There's fucking idiots in that school.
Me included.
I just didn't like being there.
Dave, y'all play too much at your school.
Yeah, y'all play a lot.
Dude, I saw this guy did something that he clearly had done before.
He got the paper towel dispenser and he started unraveling it.
And he stretched it all the way to the toilet and put it in the toilet and flushed it.
I love this move.
That's so good.
And it was just like, dude, what's the point of this?
No, I love it i love
that he probably like they probably had to replace the entire fucking system or or like the move where
you stuff the sinks cover the drains with paper towels and you just dad is such a shit move dude
what are you doing just creating chaos i never this was not me this is people i know or one guy
i kind of i kind of love it.
That's so trash. High school was awesome, though.
Why were there all such dickheads in high school?
Same dude who, when we took the senior picture, okay, you know the big, there's like the really
steep portable stairs that you take like a senior picture on where it goes up really
high in the back?
He got into a fight while everybody's up there posing.
You can't do that.
People were like falling down.
You'll take like 50 people out. Yeah, dude.
It was unbelievable. That's tight.
You can't
even just hold it in for the photo.
There's literally 700 people
in this thing and you're up here getting in a
fist fight. Dude, that's tight. That's great.
Jesus. Just calm
down. Yeah, dude. Let us get the pick off
and then do your thing. Go eat some goulash.
Dude, I love it.
I just picture your school lunch being like lobster rolls.
Yeah, I do too.
Our lunch was trash.
It was so bad.
You're just in there crushing cakes.
Crushing crab cakes.
It was so shitty.
The more I think about it...
Dude, one year when they were redoing our school,
they put our lunchroom in the old chemistry lab.
I was like, there isn't one other classroom we could have put this in.
We had to be in the chemistry lab where there's like actual chemicals.
It was just shit.
Wait, so you're just in there with Bunsen burners?
Yeah.
The kids that graduated two years after me, they had the greatest setup of all time.
They had this brand new school, brand new cafeteria.
I could see you doing s'mores with a Bunsen burner.
That'd be tight. That'd be tight.
You just...
That'd be tight.
You've got the tongs out with a marshmallow.
I need to get a chocolate milk off soon.
I used to fucking crush that.
Yeah.
Oof.
I had a little carton.
As long as it's not chocolate drink, be careful with that.
Dylan, you know about that.
Of course.
Does your gardener snake do that?
No.
Just if somebody requests chocolate milk... Dude, no one knew about gardener snakes. Funny your gardener snake do that? No.
If somebody requests chocolate milk,
a funny amount of people are reaching out to us.
Had no clue.
Saying, oh, I thought it was gardener snake, too. Well, it's double funny.
Okay, so garden snake is like,
it's not right, but it's kind of like,
it's worked its way into the vocabulary
where a lot of people say garden snake
and people don't blink an eye.
Blink an eye or bat an eye?
Whatever.
Okay.
Obviously don't do that.
The garter,
so it's a garter snake.
We get it.
You played high school baseball.
But gardener snake
just sounds hilarious.
Yeah, gardener snake.
Like what?
I still like the idea
of just being out there
with like a little shovel
and...
Hey, what's up guys?
Is that what they're just
spreading seed and stuff?
Hey, I'm going to take out these begonias over here.
My heirloom tomatoes aren't ready yet.
Maybe next week.
Pulling weeds.
You know, you've got to watch these azaleas, man.
They grow too quick, and you'll have some problems.
Yeah.
This is your snake poison?
Yeah.
No, it's the zanied out snake.
No, this is just the gardener snake.
He's just gardens.
That's all he does.
With the little bucket hat on.
I'm going to make a run down to Lowe's.
How's he going to get there?
I'm going to slither on down to Lowe's.
If I'm not back in about seven hours, man.
What are we even doing?
How do you carry your shit back from Lowe's?
He just drags it. Just puts it on his neck and just
forces it? Yeah, he just puts a bag to handle his mouth and just drags it. Just puts it on his neck and just like forces it. Yeah, he just puts a bag
like to handle his mouth
and just drags it.
It's dangerous.
Yeah.
You'd want to fuck with that.
All right, guys.
He was born in a garden, man.
That's what he does.
It's a hot one out here today.
I noticed you guys
have a little squirrel problem.
I can take care of that for you.
I can bring a couple guys out here.
I can call up my buddies. We can bite the of that for you. I can bring a couple guys out here. I can call up my buddies.
We can...
We'll bite the shit out of them.
Oh, my God.
I'm losing it.
Oh, man.
Are we going to have to make a gardener's day t-shirt?
Like, all right, let's...
You notice, like, you have trouble, I can tell,
with growing grass in this part of the yard,
because you got this tree in the shade there
This St. Augustine is not really working with the sun
Or lack thereof
Alright so Frat Dave gets a lot of love
I think Dave the Gardener Snake
Is my favorite one
Frat Dave gets like a lot of love
Unless you're in my household
I love Frat Dave
But like Frat Dave gets more love than I thought it would.
Gardener snake Dave.
Gardener snakes.
Come on.
I think it's because our audience is very young.
They relate.
Yeah.
If you haven't already, go to washmedia.com slash shop.
Get your merch on.
Yesterday we released the Heather Gray Big Cat shirt.
Shout out to Heather. It's tight. Shout out to Heather Gray Big Cat shirt.
Shout out to Heather.
It's tight.
Shout out to Heather.
It's tight.
Shout out to Heather.
Is there an adult film actress named Heather Gray?
Probably.
I mixed up an adult film actress's name with a girl from the Marvel Universe the other day,
so I can't really talk.
That was truly funny.
Freudian slip.
It was Heather Graham.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Ha, ha. Is she the one from the movies? Yeah, slip. It was a Heather Graham. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Ha, ha, ha.
Is she the one from the movies?
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's a beautiful baby.
Don't you remember?
Was she in?
She was.
Oh, yeah, baby.
She was in Swingers?
Yeah, baby.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Also, tomorrow.
This is weird to do.
Like, tomorrow, we're doing our Bachelorette episode.
If you haven't already already go to patreon.com
For $10 total you can get like everything we put out on Patreon
For just $5 though
You can get just the Bachelorette or just our Friday episodes
Your call not ours
Either way
We appreciate your patronage
Last night
A lot happened
Big night
Can I show you a photo
Of Heather Graham in Swingers
I'm sorry
She's hot
She's the love
She's Jon Favreau's
Okay
Maybe I just don't
I haven't seen Swingers
In a minute
Dude she's
Boogie Nights
She's never done anything for me
Yeah
She's okay
She's
I like her
She's never
She's never been a celebrity
You don't think
She's a beautiful baby
She's a beautiful baby
But she's not a beautiful baby for me
Like I'm never going to pursue it
I might hook her up with one of my boys
You're not going to pursue her?
Yeah
Correct
She'll be crushed
Last night a lot happened
KD played
GMs were crying
Oh here we go
The Raptors didn't win the NBA championship
The Warriors arena was filled with people
Even though there was not a game being played.
We got to talk about that.
Yes.
For some reason last night, I couldn't get past how lame that is.
And I know that happens all the time.
This happens with the Red Wings when they were in their heyday.
I think it's a relatively new phenomenon, like the last 10 to 15 years.
I think.
I don't know if the Red Wings did it in like 97 but i know that they did it like
in 2002 i feel like the jumbotron technology was not good enough in the late 90s to warrant going
there to watch it i don't think there's pretty much nothing that could warrant me going there
to watch unless you have okay i was thinking about this if you have um let's say you are
they're doing this in toronto and like drake's gonna be there and drake's gonna maybe like perform drake does like a halftime set mcs the event yeah mcs they got hype man then that
could be a lot of fun okay if you're into that what about when a college does it i think it's
they get more of a pass because that that would be more fun to me if you get if you just squad up
with like you know everyone at your school you know you sneak in flasks in there and stuff.
So that's a good question.
Do they serve booze during these things?
I don't know.
I would guess no.
But also, I don't think you can bring stuff in there.
No.
I learned the hard way they don't serve booze at high school playoff games.
Oh, man.
Who would have thought?
Yeah.
I learned the hard way that they don't serve it at the
fucking Final Four.
That's so lame.
I went there and I was like, I'm going to have a couple beers.
I guess I'm not. I guess I'll have a frozen lemonade.
Up until just a few years ago,
college football games, they didn't even sell it.
That's pretty new.
I was psyched when I went to my first Texas game and I was like,
there's beer in here?
Coors Heavy me.
Banquet style.
You're not drinking banquets.
Dude, in the heat?
Not in the heat.
In the heat,
you got to go
Modelo at the UT games.
But then once the heat
starts to dissipate
towards the end of the season,
it's banquet season, baby.
They have a nice local craft.
Yeah, but they're not the tall ones.
Oh, here we go.
You need the big, yeah.
Which one do you like?
What are the IBUs underneath? Which one fits your palate? Yeah. yeah but they're not the top here we go you need the big yeah oh which one do you like what are
the ibus which one fits your palate yeah um i don't know a nice full-bodied anyway back to the
the arena viewing party yeah i i equate it to um like in your freshman year when your dorm throws
like a party and like the ras are gonna be there that's like going to that it's like dude come on yeah it's yeah it's lame i just can't
imagine like taking an uber and being like we're gonna go like here's fine it's too busy down this
street i'm gonna get out now and then like go walk to my fucking seat at oracle arena it's and watch
tv with a bunch of people i don't know going to shut up going to a sporting event with a lot of
it's just a hassle right yeah so it's a Hey, should we leave early before this is over, babe?
I don't want to skip the traffic.
To go through all that and sit in an empty arena
where there's nothing going on on the actual basketball floor,
it's just a weird move to me.
What if it's your team's on the road
and your team has a chance to clinch?
And you kind of want to be around...
You want to be in an environment
where there's a bunch of fans.
I'd rather be in a bar.
I'd rather be on my couch.
I'd rather be in a bar, too.
I'd rather be on my couch. Well, yeah, or couch well yeah or that that's always my you get the squad together
if i don't even know what i would do so like okay say say that the lions are in the super bowl
okay i mean obviously that's not true someone tagged me in an instagram yesterday which seemed
targeted uh that tim tebow has as many wins as the lions do and the playoffs in the
last 50 years uh but like if the lions are in the super bowl i don't think i'm going anywhere to
watch it and i'm not going to force you guys to be there because i don't necessarily want to watch
with people who aren't invested in the team you know what i mean so like i think i might just end
up watching it like alone That's kind of depressing.
I don't want to be in a public setting and get pissed off and throw something or say something I don't mean.
At least at these arena viewing parties, everyone is going for the same team.
So you're excited or sad.
How fun would it be to go there and not root for that team?
Like you go in there and just troll?
You go there in a Toronto jersey?
In a Raptors jersey?
That would be so fun.
Oh, that'd be ridiculous.
You walk in and look up like the dude who walks in that room and just starts mugging everybody.
God, that video's great.
That guy's out of control.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't know.
I'm sorry.
If we have listeners who have gone to these things and you had a blast, let us know.
Don't DM me.
Just like, whatever.
But like, it just seems so lame to me.
I have no desire.
Yeah.
I get it.
It's like being chaperoned.
There's security guards there that are telling you
what you can and can't do.
If you have kids, I'm sure it's fun.
Or it's fun for the kid, it not for you you're probably imagine like wasting that
money on your kids to go see an empty arena do you think it costs it's got to cost money right
they don't there's no way they charge more than like 20 bucks i think they do let people in
i don't think they charge for that i wouldn't use good faith charge for that you couldn't you
can't get it'd be hard to get 60 000 people to show up for that. I bet it's free.
Free?
Yeah.
Are you sure?
No, I'm not.
I'm just guessing.
But I just can't.
Why would you?
What are you selling?
I'm looking it up.
Warriors watch parties.
Golden State Warriors.
NBA.com.
Let's see.
Come together with Dub Nation and watch the NBA Finals on Warriors ground,
even if the team is on the road.
Tickets cost, are you ready for it?
$35.
Doors at Oracle Arena will open at 5 p.m. with parking for $20,
opening 30 minutes prior to doors.
Tickets cost $25.
Wow.
That's not bad.
I mean, if you're a family of four, you're paying $100 to go watch nothing.
To watch TV.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, it stinks.
It's not worth it.
I thought these were free.
You know what?
It's kind of a trash move.
I guess you've got to pay people to come clean up after them and stuff.
No free lunch.
Security.
Tins shuffle.
$25 to go sit in a seat and watch the screen.
An uncomfortable ass seat too.
What if it's at
Cowboy Stadium
and you got a dope ass screen?
That screen,
dude,
that screen's too good.
They got to get rid of that thing.
Well,
they're not going to hang on.
I found myself watching it
way more than watching
the actual game.
Yeah,
and that's not good
considering we had
like the best seats ever too.
It's so,
I kept telling myself like,
dude,
Will,
stop watching the massive screen.
It's good if you're
on the upper deck.
If you're down low
it's too low.
I've never watched
anything at Cowboy
Stadium not in the
front row though.
Okay.
It's true.
I'm one for one.
I'm never going to
another game.
No I just don't
please don't ever.
If one of you
invited me to
something like that
I'd be like dude
you're a fucking loser. Get it together. That's rude. We're never going to invited me to something like that, I'd be like, dude, you're a fucking loser.
Get it together.
That's rude.
We're never going to invite you to something like that.
Thank you.
How about the GM crying after the game,
taking the blame for KD's injury?
That was uncomfortable.
Is there crying in basketball?
So you think this is overly dramatic?
Yeah.
I don't think he needs to cry.
The guy ruptured his Achilles tendon.
Yes.
Which is a very serious injury for...
You say the word different than me.
Which one?
You say Achilles.
Which is probably right.
Achilles is what I hear a lot of people say.
A lot of people on TV...
You said Achilles, yeah.
Oh.
Achilles.
You sound like you're into Greek mythology.
Yeah, I say...
Which are you?
I say Achilles.
Yeah.
Achilles. That would be... They should rename it. The Achilles Hill? say Achilles. Yeah. Achilles.
They should rename it.
The Achilles Hill?
The Achilles.
So the GM who was crying apparently had a lot of say in him being out there last night.
So he's harboring some guilt here.
Big time.
Well.
He's taking the blame.
Because KD's not going to play next season?
Probably not going to play next season.
And KD's probably going to opt in, right? Opt in, get paid.
I'd be crying too if I was paying some dude not to play.
Get paid and then be a free agent after
sitting out a year. Probably what's going to happen.
Yeah, he's going to sink the team next year.
Crying, yeah, maybe it's a little dramatic
but I get it. He feels responsible
for this. Well, it was a bad decision.
Yeah. Okay, so
like, KD, if he doesn't play next year how much
is he making next year i mean i think he had a max deal so probably close to 30 million yeah
whatever the max is maybe he should have been crying actually maybe i don't fault him that's
just fucking money out the door you think he's crying about the money yeah he's like fuck
my dumb ass decision just led to me spending $30 million on some dude that doesn't even play.
He legitimately just changed the landscape of the NBA.
Yeah.
Like, the offseason was going to be...
That's a huge domino that may not be falling down.
What's Klay doing?
He gone, probably.
No, I bet he's...
I thought he was going to be gone,
but I think he's going to stay.
I wanted him in Dallas.
Why do you think he's going to stay?
Because you don't think he wants to be the guy somewhere else?
He wants to be the guy.
Dude, he's got it made.
He's never going to get more open looks when he's with Curry.
I don't think he thinks he has it made, though.
I think Klay thinks that he could be the guy.
And I think he said he's tired of getting scraps, and I kind of get it.
I'd love to see him with Luka.
Well, he's not going to get scraps anymore.
Now that he's going to have to be more of the guy with KD not playing.
Are you announcing Klay to the Mavs?
No, that is just wishful thinking.
How wishful?
I don't know, man.
I can't get a feel on Klay as a guy just because he's just such a –
he's just kind of a bump on the log.
His personality is kind of dull.
Not Kawhi dull, but it's still like what is this guy about like this guy
doesn't want to go he's not the type of guys i want to go play in new york or something or la
clay yeah yeah so i almost think that there's a chance he would want to play in a place like
dallas like great you know he's got a young nucleus and all that but i don't know something
i never thought about as a kid and even teenager whatever it was that player like where a team is affects a player's mindset so much
like what yeah why would you go play in uh charlotte when you could go play in
la yeah yeah new york big whatever like that like i never thought about that as a kid and like now
i'm kind of looking at detroit and i'm like shit like yeah why would you go to detroit if you go
literally anywhere like a lot of other places?
True.
If you have no connection to the city, like you don't want to be a Detroit Lion.
You don't want to be a Piston,
especially when the Pistons were not playing downtown.
The NBA is a little different too because, like,
those guys control their destiny more than, like, I think in the NFL
as far as where they can play.
But, yeah, man, it sucks because he came out on fire, KD,
and I was like, oh, fuck, we're about to do this.
Because I'm pulling for the 3-1 comeback.
I am.
I'm absolutely out on Toronto.
I'm not.
I'm out on Drake.
I'm out on their fans.
I'm interested.
Why are you out on the fans?
The Jurassic Park thing.
Okay, we need to talk about that.
Is Jurassic Park just as lame as going to...
No, no.
It's not?
No, I don't think it is.
But you're not in the arena.
You're not being babysat.
Yeah, but it's more of just a party.
Yeah.
And Drake's there.
And he's basically emceeing the thing like we were talking about earlier.
Like, he has a big role in it.
Drake's in the game, though.
Okay, so Jurassic Park, when it's in Golden State,
he stays back and goes there.
Okay, yeah, that's different.
I'm talking about like last night, home game, and you're in Jurassic Park.
No, I think that's cool.
No, getting down in the mix, I respect that.
Okay.
Getting down in the mix would be really fun.
If you can't get a ticket to the game and you live near it,
I'm walking down there.
I'm drinking beers.
I'm having fun.
But yeah, I am out on Toronto.
I'm not pulling for them.
Why?
First of all, I enjoy Golden State.
Last night, when they do what they do and Splash Brothers turn it on,
to me, it's peak basketball.
It's the most fun thing you can see.
So I've been pulling for them this whole time anyway.
I like watching Steph and Klay just go off.
As far as Toronto goes, they're a cool team.
I like Kawhi.
But Drake's just so insufferable.
I don't get why you don't like the fans still.
Well, they cheered when a guy ruptured his Achilles,
the best player in the league.
That was weird. Yeah, but they probably when a guy ruptured his Achilles, the best fight in the league. That was weird.
They probably didn't know how serious
it was. He was down on the ground waving
for the trainers. They didn't know it was an injury.
They didn't know he ruptured his Achilles.
Either way. By the way, you see how
distraught Drake was
when KD was leaving the floor?
That's another thing. He was overdoing it. He knew the cameras were on.
Come on. This isn't about you, dude.
He was putting his head in his hands like, oh, how could this happen?
He's...
Come on.
That's so phony.
I'm out on Drake.
I'm out on Drake.
I'm not going to poo-poo the Toronto fans, though.
I have no problem with the Toronto fans.
They show up.
They show out.
I respect them.
Oh, they're good fans.
I also like Canada.
So I'm not like...
They're my squad.
They're your squad, you're saying your squad yeah yeah no i don't really
care i identify with canada hard i think um i don't know they they had those they had that one
guy i think i think he's like a local beat writer up there who wrote some stuff after the milwaukee
series talking about how toronto is just holier than now and he acts like that they don't have
any problems like socially and stuff. It's just like,
dude,
get over it, man.
Like,
Toronto,
I don't know.
It was a little,
he got roasted
and he doubled down on it too
which I actually respect.
No, I don't know, man.
I'm pulling for Golden State.
I don't care.
Like,
I'm in the lucky position
of a team who's in the middle
of a rebuild
who hasn't had to go up
against the Warriors
so I can root for them
and not feel bad. But if I was like a Spurs fan fan or a rockets fan or any team that's like competitive right now
i would hate watching the warriors because they've been doing this to me for six years now five years
are just so like they their their mentality is so them against the world when like in reality like
it's not really that way like that's like all champions though that's like baker mayfield
he has this false chip on his shoulder but it works put put that back and they said that it
was over the rim they were all walking away like they were getting screwed by the ref and it's like
no it was over the rim dude oh i don't know about that it was over the rim it was 100 over the rim
i didn't think there's enough evidence to reverse it they could not have overturned that
like there's no way.
What did you think they were going to do?
Be like, all right, good call, guys.
Good call.
The way that they walk away from it was just like,
that's another time, man.
Like, it happened again.
Blah, blah, blah.
Like, they just look like they are, like,
thinking that they're actually getting screwed by the refs.
And, like, they aren't.
I don't know.
They just have this cocky demeanor to them.
That's universal in the NBA.
Everyone's like that.
No, Golden State's way more cocky than any other team.
They might be cocky, but they don't like...
I do hate Draymond Green.
Draymond's a dickhead.
He's an absolute dickhead.
Yeah, and so like...
And a baby.
But they all have adopted the things that he does that make him a dickhead.
I don't think that's right.
Klay and Steph also are like these pouty dickheads now, too.
Steph's always been like that.
Everyone complains to refs and thinks they...
Yeah, what player isn't complaining?
Maybe Kawhi.
Draymond takes it to the next level.
It's different with that team, though.
I think the start...
Not all the starters.
Just mainly the nucleus.
If you're a team and you're trying to put together a dynasty like them,
you have to find something that keeps you motivated, right?
Because coming back each year, it's like, well, I've got to do this again. Run it back. a dynasty like them you have to find something that keeps you motivated right because like coming
back each year it's like well i gotta do this again run it back uh so maybe creating some false
narrative in your head that like everyone's against you putting it it works i mean it's
worked for plenty of teams like the patriots have adopted that like everybody's against us right
that's like their thing and it's like no not really dude but it works like it's got they've
got a 41 year old quarterback or whatever up there and he's like got some. And it's like, no, not really, dude. But it works. They've got a 41-year-old quarterback or whatever up there,
and he's got some chip on his shoulder.
He's got something to prove still.
It's like, you have nothing to prove.
So I think it works for them, but I get it.
I would hate them too if, I don't know, if I wasn't in this position.
Man, I think Steph's my favorite player to watch in the NBA.
Dude, it's either him.
His jump shot is just.
Is it wetter than yours?
It's stupid wet. It's wetter than Will's bounce pass. That's how wet it is. That's pretty wet. That's pretty's either. His jump shot is just. Is it wetter than yours? It's stupid wet.
It's wetter than Will's bounce pass.
That's how wet it is.
That's pretty wet.
That's pretty fucking wet.
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
He's up there for most entertaining to watch.
I still don't like him.
He's the best shooter we've ever seen.
I still don't like him.
And you know, Clay might be top three.
He's definitely top.
He's definitely top 10, probably top five.
Yeah. Yeah.
Shit.
What if they change their name to the Webb Brothers?
Oh, fuck.
I'm in.
Splash Brothers is pretty good.
It's good.
Break them up.
Give me Chaos.
You want Elizabeth Warren mentality?
Break them up.
Put Kawhi on the Clippers.
Dude, that's some shit that might happen.
I know.
It's so lame.
He's so weird.
If he goes to the Clippers and then like Klay is on like the Knicks without KD, like it's just going to be, everything's going to be weird.
Everything's going to be weird.
Man, that injury last night really did change a lot.
What's the Knicks situation room looking like when KD goes down?
They're just like, fuck.
They're going to get Kyrie and AD.
That's probably exactly what happened.
The GM's sitting there, and his assistant's like,
hey, sir, can I get you something?
And he's just like, champagne.
A 9mm.
Dude, how many Ls are the Knicks going to take
outside of just taking Ls regularly?
Dude, why do the Spurs ever let Kawhi go?
Dylan?
Stop.
There are some really...
There are some bad tweets out there.
If you go back and look at some of our friends
and acquaintances who have tweets
about Kawhi and stuff,
I'm just saying it's pretty interesting.
Did you do this?
Yes.
What if in the weirdest turn of events
he goes back to San Antonio?
I would be very happy.
I don't even think they have got the cap room, but I'm just saying.
Do they even want...
I mean, obviously, you want Kawhi on your team.
It would just be the most Kawhi thing ever, right?
Yeah.
Damn, dude.
He's such a monster.
When he took the game over, he literally took the game over.
He's so good.
He ran off 10 in a row. And then Nick Nurse called a timeout. monster when he took the game over he literally took the game over he's so good he just he ran
off 10 in a row and then nick nurse called a timeout and uh weird that was weird weird time
out then he had a bag of apples after the game 12 apples right 12 apples yeah why is he doing that
wait what's a baker's dozen 13 oh yeah come on dude bake one time for me i don't know i'm not a big bake boy
not a big big boy are you no i don't bake is there anything worse than baked chicken
oh my god just put a bullet in me shut up if you serve me baked chicken please just
please just poison it no i'm not gonna slander baked chicken put some milk in the popping in
there no why are you slandering baked chicken because
it has the worst it's the least good chicken it's like eating paper it's like you marinate it
well yeah marinate one time dude but are you baking chicken there's still yeah dude i bake
chicken all the actual meat doesn't give you any flavor yeah it does no it doesn't dude you're not
you're not fucking marinating right. You don't know shit.
Season one time, dog.
You don't know shit, dude.
Yes, I do.
Baked chicken.
If you invite me over for baked chicken, I'm not going to come over.
Are you doing shaken baked?
No, dude, come on.
Baked chicken is only something you make for yourself when you're feeling lazy.
You don't invite other people over.
I know, but that's the thing.
Yeah, but as far as the power rankings of ways to prepare chicken it's the least
it's at the bottom it's like number 10 it's not high but i'm not gonna slander it it's a really
good lazy move unless it's fried chicken it's just pretty underwhelming as a as a meat you
gotta either smoke it rotisserie or fry it yeah yeah so you're not great you can't grill it
grilled chickens okay let me be clear when i say
smoke i know it's it's still on the grill so i'm almost saying they're the same thing i know it's
a different style of preparing it i'll put smoked and grilled up there is acceptable okay you got
to have a little bit of that char you smoke a beer can chicken yet dave no that always looks
like too much why don't you ever give us shots of you cutting your meat?
I want to see the inside of that.
I respond to people.
If you're going to be rating other people, I think you need to be bringing it to Twitter as well.
Wow.
I posted one the other day of the ribs.
It wasn't.
I know, but I want to see a brisket or something that's cut.
If you want to look and see that.
Okay, I can do that.
Are you trying to question me? No, I gut shots that's what i want i don't know if it's gonna be a gut shot that's what it is if you cut it open it's a gut shot they used to call that
or i messed that up so bad why don't you run it back they used to call dave gut shot
dude you crushed i had a hard left hand i'd hit you in the liver losing my fastball over here man
like yeah like you a steak can look good if you don't cut it and then you take a photo of it if I had a hard left hand. I'd hit you in the liver. I think I'm losing my fastball over here, man. Like, yeah.
A steak can look good if you don't cut it and then you take a photo of it.
If you cut it open, though, that's when you get to see the real stuff. Man, I should have done it last night.
I did some strips.
New York strips.
And they were excelente, amigo.
Damn.
Oh, yeah.
I had a new rub I'm trying out.
Oh, shit.
Just some stuff I threw together.
Proprietary. Oh, shit. Just some stuff I threw together. Proprietary?
Oh, yeah.
So the other day, I had a steak, and I was going to grill it the night before.
But you baked it instead?
No, it was raining outside, and I couldn't get the grill to light.
So I was like, well, screw it.
I guess I'll just save it for tomorrow.
Was this the night of the big storms?
No, no, no.
It was a really inconvenient rain.
I'll say that it rained just long enough to like soak the grill,
but not,
and,
but not long enough to like inconvenience me outside of that.
So I just couldn't make my steak that night.
We needed it though.
We needed it.
You didn't do the,
uh,
classic apartment move of like trying to do it in the,
in a cast iron pan and smoking the entire place out.
You can,
you can do the worst.
You can do the reverse here in your apartment, but you do know that you're going to have to get a big like coffee table book in a cast iron pan and smoking the entire place out. That's the worst move.
You can do the reverse
here in your apartment,
but you do know
that you're going to have to get
a big coffee table book
and wave it in front of the damn thing.
Oh, you know how many times
even in my house
I've taken my shirt off
and waved it at the smoke detector?
Yeah.
You just panic.
And you twist it over your head?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like a helicopter.
Man.
No, but so then I was like,
the next day I was like,
well, I'm going out to dinner tonight
so I got to grill this steak this morning. So it was like 1130 day i was like well i'm going out to dinner tonight so i
got to grill the steak this morning so it was like 11 30 and i was just grilling a massive steak
wow that's a the apartment entire place on notice somebody on the apartment like on the staff at the
apartment was giving a tour to somebody and i was like i just you just have sweaty will out here at
11 in the morning like dripping sweat and 100 degree heat with a grill going at 900 degrees
it's just miserable people probably thought you were like a tech startup trust fund guy yeah like it's like oh here's just some dude
uh grilling a steak i do want to know what people are on my like because i just talk to people in
the dog park all the time i want to know what they think i do every day because i'm always there
wearing like clothes that you don't wear to an office i'm always there with rosie like your job
they're probably just like what's this guy's deal they probably think maybe they think grad school and then he's like he's driving a ford fusion like
so he can't have that much money or you're just humble yeah yeah i bet kawaii drives a ford fusion
maybe the new ford fusions are nice wait didn't it come out he was actually driving like an old
school tahoe i swear that came out when he's in san antonio if he does that i'm all in on kawaii
like he had very unsurprising i swear that's the thing that came out when he was in San Antonio. If he does that, I'm all in on Kawhi. Like he had his...
Very unsurprising.
I swear that's a thing that came out when he was at the Spurs.
Maybe that's the reason...
He's got an 0-4 Tahoe.
Maybe that's the reason I'm riding with the Raptors so hard is because I like that Kawhi
just said, screw San Antonio, I'm out.
Oh yeah, okay, so I forgot how much disdain you had for the Spurs.
Yeah.
Fandom.
Yeah.
As much as I've been roasting Toronto...
This isn't an
anti-texas thing either this has been a piston spurs yeah it's the piston i forgot about that
and so like seeing seeing him leave and just seeing all the people celebrating like oh yeah
shipping way far away from la get him out of here then he might win an nba championship with them
like come on that's great, this is so much worse.
There's an... Okay.
He drove a 97 Chevy Tahoe
after he signed his $94 million max deal.
That's awesome.
Are you serious?
That's great.
A 97 Tahoe.
What is he doing?
That thing is not doing well on gas.
Is it two-door?
I don't think it was the two-door.
What color is it?
I don't know.
Is it forest green?
You're asking a lot of questions.
If it's a Tudor forest green, Kawhi's my favorite athlete ever.
We know how hard the Tour de Tahoe goes.
Best car ever made.
He's making 23 mil a year driving that.
Dude, what if Kawhi's driving this?
He had this thing in high school.
What if Kawhi's pushing that?
No, that's a car.
Is that the coolest car ever?
Yeah.
Dude, I used to drive that.
You know that, right?
Dude, you should play basketball. I had a 98, man. It was so tight. Holy shit, dude.
This is so much. This is great. It runs and it's paid off. A four-door 97 Chevy Tahoe
LS with no added options is only worth as much as roughly $1,300. That's amazing. I
mean, that's my mentality when I drive my car. It runs and it's paid off. Those are the two things I like about it.
Air conditioning sucks.
Hey, can we circle back to Justin Bieber and what's-his-face yesterday?
Can I run to the men's room real quick?
Sure, Dylan and I can just...
We're just going to talk it out.
I want in on this too, though, so y'all extend it.
Should we talk Fulton and Rourke while Dave's doing that?
Yeah, while Dave's gone, let's get some business out of the way.
You know what Fulton and Rourke is by now doing that? Yeah, while Dave's gone, let's get some business out of the way. You know what Fulton & Rourke is by now.
I use it every damn day.
Use it today, actually.
Use the two-in-one body wash.
Dave doesn't need to be slamming the door.
That seems unnecessary.
We're getting a Fulton & Rourke read-off.
He's slamming doors.
$16 gets you solid cologne sample pack.
Are you aware of this, Dylan?
I am.
Samples all eight of their solid colognes.
If you don't know what a solid cologne is,
if you're unsure about the sense of these,
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This deal is for you.
Because when you're buying a cologne online, you can't smell it.
It's not in front of you.
We're aware of that.
This gives you an opportunity to smell not just what you think you like, but all they
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Here's the thing.
The solid cologne sample
pack comes with a 16 coupon toward your next purchase so basically if you buy anything
afterward like a bar soap or whatever the sample packs are essentially free i like free stuff i
think you guys do too for circling back listeners it's even better than that because you can use
the coupon code steam s-t-e-a-m and you get the sample pack for just $12, which means for $12 you get
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You're making four bucks.
You are.
So use promo code STEAM for $4 off the sample pack plus a $16 coupon.
Get your Palmetto on.
It's Palmetto season.
That's what it is.
So getting the cologne in your hands.
Dude, Dave.
Hey, Micah, chill out with the doors.
You don't need to be slamming doors.
We did just fuck that read up, though.
Yeah.
That was good.
All right, are you going to re-record it?
No.
No, in a good way.
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, like we fucked it up.
Yeah, like in the tight way.
Okay, we're circling back.
So, Dave, explain this tweet last night that was going around.
I actually missed it until you came in this morning.
Oh, okay.
Damn, I don't remember what the tweet said specifically and who tweeted it.
But it was basically like, pick somebody 31 years your elder,
because that's what Tom Cruise is to Bieber.
As you guys may have just laid out, Bieber did call out Tom Cruise for some reason.
Okay.
Also posted a gram with Bubba Watson last night or something.
I don't know.
Ain't it?
A lot of weird things going down.
Fine.
So people were posting.
They were looking up who's 31 years older than me
that I would just beat the living piss out of.
We thought it would be a fun segment
if we looked up the people who were 31 years our elder
and talked about it.
Who wants to start um i'll go i'll go uh the first one that shows up for me and this is in the 66 year old
category uh vlad putin who happens to be sitting here right now so that's it's pretty convenient
that's cool that's cool for everybody out of him right now you know he's a judo expert i don't
care black belt i don't care is that propaganda though You know he's a judo expert. I don't care. Black belt.
I don't care.
Is that propaganda, though?
I think he's a little fella.
I don't know.
I think he's a little fella, though.
Dude, he's KGB.
I wouldn't fuck with him.
Are you serious?
He's going to get all the illegal injections before he fights you.
Being KGB doesn't mean you can throw hands at him.
He's going to be invincible when he steps in the ring.
He doesn't need to throw hands.
He knows where to punch you to paralyze you and shit.
I don't think you want to fight Vlad.
He wouldn't be the first one
on the list I would fight.
I could handle Vlad
if I had to.
Go on, who else you got?
He's 66.
Don't forget that.
Hey, bitch,
I'd like to see you try, bitch.
Keep in mind that everyone
Dylan's about to announce
is 66.
That's what gives me
a big edge here
is that I'm not 66.
Hey, Dawn, man.
Hey, Dawn, man.
Your writing's been trash lately.
I'd like to see you try. That's fucked up. Why are you trying to edge 66 rules? Hey, Dawn, man. Hey, Dawn, man. Your writing's been trash lately. I'd like to see you try.
That's fucked up.
Why are you trying to edge 66 rules?
Hey, bring back the forums.
Also on here, Jeff Goldblum.
I would feel so bad punching Jeff Goldblum.
I think, I don't know if you want that smoke.
Have you ever seen the fly?
Because he's got reach?
He's tall?
Lanky?
Why?
He's a little, he's skinny.
I think he's got more length than you were ready for.
I'm not worried about it.
That's what she said.
Again, he's 66, you know?
Yeah, the thing is, these people are in their 60s.
Pierce Brosnan, Tony Blair.
Tony Blair would be a fun one.
You would run Tony Blair out.
Yeah. Tony Blair's so a fun one. You would run Tony Blair out. Yeah.
Tony Blair's so soft.
Pat Benatar.
I'm not going to hit a lady.
I don't think you should do that.
I'm not going to hit a lady, but I could handle her too.
Mickey Rourke would probably whip my ass.
Yeah, he's got nothing to lose.
Yeah, he's a wild card.
He doesn't care.
He actually likes pain.
He actually was an amateur boxer as well, so he knows a little bit on how to handle it.
Yeah, I don't want that smoke.
That's pretty much it for me.
Who do we think Dylan should fight?
Who do we want to see?
John Peterson?
No, no, no, no.
From his list.
Dan Aykroyd?
John Goodman?
I do want to see if I can find John Peterson, though.
No, he's not.
John Goodman?
Ooh, the Hoff.
David Hasselhoff.
I want you to fight Goldblum.
Okay.
That would be the one I would pay for.
Because I think that you think that you can beat him,
but I think it would be a closer match.
The guy that played Pee Wee Herman, Paul Rubens, he's 66?
Holy shit.
Yeah.
You were a big Pee Wee guy, right?
No.
I'll go.
My list is awesome. I would love to fight some of these guys uh bill gates
63 i would i think i would beat up bill i think i'd beat up bill um yeah i think i'll give you
the edgings bill gates i'm not gonna fight her but chris jenner she's on there the women on here i
like whoopi goldberg i think i could take her you've been The women on here, like, Whoopi Goldberg.
I think I could take her.
You've been beaving with Whoopi lately, too.
Whoopi has some takes, and I don't like them.
Our boy lost, though, in the French Open final.
Team?
Yeah.
Okay, so the guys that are actually, like, you guys can select who I fight out of these people, okay?
You ready?
I'm just going to pick whoever has the best chance of beating your ass.
Bill Gates.
Mel Gibson. Oh, he would crush you chance of beating your ass. Bill Gates. Mel Gibson.
Oh, he would crush you.
Yeah, he would.
Bill Nye.
Oh, dude,
you're so lucky, man.
How fun would it be
to just whip Bill Nye's ass?
Oh, come on.
Here's the one
I think you guys
are going to like.
Bryan Cranston.
Oh.
I think Cranston
fucks you up.
I think he fucks me up, too.
And I feel like
that's the fight
I want to see.
There was another one in here.
Steve Ballmer.
Okay.
Kind of annoying.
He would, I think, here's the person I want to fight the most.
Which company is he on?
Is it Amazon?
Microsoft, but I think he's not as involved anymore if he bought the Clippers.
He's really annoying.
He's worse than Cuban.
As far as, like, sideline, like, behavior.
I don't watch enough Clippers games to know anymore.
He's just over the top.
I do want to thank him, though, for Blake Griffin.
We get it.
You own the team.
The person I do want to fight that is 63 years old.
Bill Maher.
Okay.
That's a good one.
Let me fight Bill Maher.
That is a very punchable man.
I'm still picking Mel Gibson, though,
because I just want to see him wear your ass out in the ring.
I got the height on him.
Yeah, what is he, like 5'7"?
He seems like a tiny fella.
Well, okay, so we take two inches away from what they're listed at.
Talk about old man strength.
It says he's 5'10", which means he's 5'8".
Okay.
I got four inches on him.
I don't think he's 5'8".
Let's give him 5'9".
He did help free Scotland.
Yeah, people forget that.
He comes at you with his face painted and a kill.
It's over.
You're done.
Yeah.
What are you going to do?
Bottom it.
He's in decent shape.
Oh, he's definitely on TRT.
Oh, my God.
No, that's...
Okay.
I just found a photo of him from August 2013.
There's no way I'd step in the octagon with him in this shape.
I don't know what he was doing at this time.
Was that when he was...
When was he having the meltdown?
I think longer ago than 2013.
The anti-Semitic meltdown?
Just a lot of...
Yeah, just a very, very over-the-top one.
He seems to have gotten past somehow.
Okay.
Dude, that was 2006.
So that was a long time ago.
Oh, wow.
I think Dave has the best lineup here.
All right.
Well, Jackie Chan is just whipping my ass up and down.
Yeah, he's dicing you up.
All five, four of them is just going to whip your ass.
I mean, but yeah.
He is.
Anybody who can utilize kicks, I don't know how to check a kick.
So I'm getting my ass literally kicked.
He's going to lick sweep you one time and then just choke you out.
Yeah.
Let's see.
I would actually want to see that fight just because it would be so funny how fast it would go.
I got Denzel.
No, I think I could hang around for a bit.
On Jackie Chan?
Yeah.
No.
Dave.
No, Dave.
I'm more worried about Jet Li than Jackie Chan if we're going to talk that genre.
Jackie Chan, dude, he's running your ass out.
Anybody martial arts genre, Jackie Chan seems like the softest one.
I don't disagree with you there, but I still, I'm not.
Jackie Chan, if he wanted to, he could crush you in like 15 seconds.
That's the problem.
I don't think he crushes me.
I think it's just like over a period of time, just relentless beating.
Like he just, he wears me out.
And like after the fight, I've got like internal bleeding, all sorts of shit.
As opposed to him just knocking me out real quick.
But if he wanted, if you said, Jackie, we need you to do this in 15 seconds or less,
I think he could figure out a way to do it.
We'll find out.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Don't forget, he's 65.
I know, I know.
But also, dude, don't forget about this.
If you get me in the parking lot, it's fucking over.
I'm a different person.
That's true.
I got Denzel, which, okay.
I'll just take that L.
Travolta gets you, too.
No.
Dude, I'm fucking Travolta up.
He's a thick boy.
Yeah, he's going to be tough to move.
Oh, my God.
Sandy, I got to fight Dave. In a parking lot. In a thick boy. Yeah, he's going to be tough to move. Oh, my God. Sandy, I got to fight Dave.
In a parking lot.
In a parking lot.
Oh, my God.
You somehow made that better than you did before the show when you were doing it.
Oh, my God.
Oh, shit.
Fuck, dude.
What if it's Leather Jacket Travolta?
He's a Scientologist, too.
Oh, yeah.
Fuck him.
If it's Grease Travolta.
at Travolta.
He's a Scientologist too.
Oh yeah.
Fuck him.
If it's Grease Travolta I'm gone.
The one thing
I'm bummed about
is that
during our Lost Tapes episode
from a few weeks ago
is that
I finally got to go off
on Scientologists
and all that is gone.
You hate Scientologists.
I fucking hate them.
What's your problem, man?
I'm worried
they're going to come after me
one day
if I get too vocal
about it though.
Dave
you got Seinfeld in your.
Come on.
Come on.
Dave.
Seinfeld's getting wrecked.
I got to fight Dave.
Seinfeld pulls up in like one of his old school cars.
It's worth like 500K.
And I just beat the living piss out of him.
Seinfeld, he'd be the worst person to watch in a fight.
He'd be doing bits the entire time.
And he'd just be like, dude, stop.
Dude, but that's probably me as well.
It would just be a battle of bad bits.
I mean, his are more lucrative than mine
to the tune of probably a bill.
But I'm definitely taking him.
Dennis Quaid.
Dennis Quaid's hot. I'm sorry I'm going to have to wreck that
pretty face, but it's happening.
Oh, Howard Stern,
king of media.
Tall man.
He's a tall fella.
I honestly thought he was older than 65.
He doesn't look great.
Christy Brinkley.
I'm not fighting Christy.
Big shots to Christy Brinkley, who's 65 and looks like she's 35.
Let's just use this as a time to compliment her.
She is just defying age.
It's unbelievable.
She used to sell... She's something else.
You know what it is?
It's all those years she sold the total gym
with Chuck Norris.
I think that's it.
Dude, she's got a total gym under the bed.
It folds right up.
My first crush, Christy Brinkley.
Really?
Yeah, very first.
Man.
My first crush was Tiffany Amber Thiessen.
Then she passed the torch to Brooke Burke.
Brooke Burke had a little stint in my life as well.
She was a little more wild on.
Man.
Wow.
Jackie Chan is, he is trained in several other styles of martial arts.
All right.
Which ones?
Karate.
Kudo.
Taekwondo.
Jeet Kune Do.
I don't know what that is.
Jeet Kune Do.
It sounds like it would fuck me up All I'm saying is
I'm worried about your confidence going into Jackie Chan
Yeah, now that I, okay look
Yeah
He, from a technical
He's gonna fuck me up, alright
He's gonna score some points
I'm not winning a decision in that fight
I'm gonna run in throw like three
haymakers and he's gonna catch me with like a five hit combo what i do like about your chance
with jackie chan is that he i 65 his stuff is his training is like the aftermath of him being an
actor though like it was kind of a result of it rather than something that led him to it it's not
like he grew up doing this stuff oh really i don't think from i could be wrong i don't know if there's
like an official jackie chan autobiography out there that I need to read.
But from what I can see here, you're going to...
Like, he's late in the game.
But I still think...
Is he a black belt in any of those?
Yes.
Okay, I wonder if it's like a legit black belt or like one they just give out to get some notoriety.
I think it's a legit black belt.
belt or like one they just give out to get some notoriety like i think it's a legit black belt chan along with sam o'hung got the opportunity to train in hap kaido which is a highly eclectic
korean martial art is a form of self-defense that has joint locks grappling and throwing techniques
he trained under the grandmaster jin paoow Kim and Chan eventually attained a black belt.
Is that the one where they throw your head into a Yukon?
In a parking lot?
Yeah.
That's a very specific style.
My worry is that Jackie Chan, since he knows this,
he would just walk up to you and just grab you
and just turn your ass over and just throw you on the ground.
He would do what Lukeke p did to luke s but like with more more chances of you getting knocked out here's the thing it's a five foot four 65 year old man yeah all i'm saying is
i've got better cardio than him old man got cardio though
no I don't
I think he's got old man strength
but
he's not 5'4
he's 5'2
5'9
he's listed at 5'9
so 5'7
Jackie Chan is not 5'9
5'7
ok
he's still
65
he's been on this earth for 65 years
yeah let's not forget
he's a 65 yearyear-old man.
Now, if it's Jackie Chan at 55, look, I'm taking—I know it's going quick.
65, I think I'm at least hanging around.
He's not putting me out right away, I think.
I'm keeping him off me with the jab.
He can't get inside of me.
Dude, he's getting inside of you.
No, he's not.
Jackie Chan is so inside you right now.
He's not inside me.
He's getting inside of you.
He's not inside me. There's no inside of you. He's not inside me.
There's no way
that you're keeping him at bay.
He's trained in like
a stupid amount
of martial arts.
Bitch, I'm old bay.
What do you think I'd do?
You think I'd just go
to the gym and lift weights?
I'm doing all sorts of shit.
Yeah, it's true.
Dude, I'm sure.
I'm sure you are.
I'm sure you are.
I know Krav Maga
or whatever. Krav Maga or whatever.
Krav Maga?
Yeah.
This has been fun.
Some guy came at me.
He was like, dude, you call yourself the combat sports guy,
and you don't even know what that is?
Really?
I was like, are there a lot of dudes in the UFC who that's like their skill?
They're getting in there.
Is that even considered a martial art?
I think it is.
I think it's more self-defense.
Yeah, I think so too.
Cam, Bachelorette Cam, when he did the pod, he said that Mike, the Air Force vet from Dallas, he's trained in that.
Which, yeah, makes sense.
That's probably something they use in the military.
Like I told you, the awesome police force, they're all trained in it too.
Yeah.
I think it's just base level self-defense and like...
Why don't they teach them like the dope martial arts like taekwondo or something or jiu-jitsu?
Like so these guys are just out there just putting people in like rear naked chokes.
I don't know, man.
But my cop friend, he has a...
Obviously, they have dash cam videos.
And I don't really talk to him much anymore.
But he used to like show me videos of some of his
arrests and stuff and this one guy tried to evade and my friend just shoulder checked him into the
the hood of the the cruiser it was tight was it you no no on me it was pretty interesting wait
is it our buddy you know yeah he's dude even in, he was kind of thick. He's not somebody I would want to...
He's big, dude.
Yeah.
He was always in some of the best shape of anybody in our fraternity.
Poor dude actually shot someone his first year on duty.
Really?
Suicide by cop.
Raised his gun just so he would get shot.
Him and two other cops had to shoot him.
Damn.
Really unfortunate.
That's tough.
First year?
First year.
Yeah. Damn Really unfortunate That's tough First year First year Yeah Didn't he actually
Accidentally smoke PCP
With the guy he was training under
Like while they were on
Like just a ride along
Type deal
Throughout like South Central
Nah I think that was a movie
You sure
Yeah
Sounds like training day
And then like
They tried to rob a drug dealer
And it was just like a big setup again
i think you're thinking of that denzel movie oh yeah yeah sorry denzel would beat the piss out of
you with like one one hand you think i'm gonna try to go with denzel i feel like denzel's got
some i feel he's got big hands like you don't like what's he listed at catching a catching a
fist from him would be worse than than jackie chan i don't, like, what's he listed at? Catching a, catching a fist from him
would be worse than,
than Jackie Chan.
I don't know about that.
I would like to see those two fight.
I'm sorry.
While you guys talked about training day,
I was just watching a Denzel,
sorry,
a Jackie Chan fight scene.
He does all his,
he does all his own stunts.
Like,
so does Tom Cruise.
I know,
like Tom Cruise does.
So he's not,
but he's,
you give Tom Cruise more respect.
Are you a Scientologist?
Yeah.
Denzel's 6'1".
Okay.
If you're going by your rule of two inches taken off,
then he's 5'11".
5'11".
Denzel, though, the problem is,
let's say I do catch him and I win that,
it doesn't bode me well.
Everyone's going to hate me.
Yeah.
If Denzel could walk in the ring and just start talking to me and like tell me like come on you're not gonna hit me and like all of a sudden i'm like
i'm not gonna hit denzel he has uh he has all-time crazy eyes yeah no like if he starts if he starts
yelling at you or something like it's over yeah if he starts lecturing you like you might just punch yourself out. Yeah. He's scary. He's good.
I drank the vodka.
Pretty good.
Airport.
What's it called?
Pilot?
What the fuck was that movie?
Was it Airport?
That movie sucked.
Oh, that did suck.
It wasn't good.
I didn't like that movie.
No.
Everyone that walked out of it was like, oh.
He was inverted.
Literally.
I drank the vodka.
We used to just say that at parties.
It's really stupid.
It's fun to drink.
Hey, should we make some quick US Open picks before we do anything else?
Sure.
Oh, yeah.
Like, okay.
Where does Pebble Beach rank on your courses you want to play in life?
In life?
Yes.
Like, okay.
Worldwide?
Yeah, courses that you can actually play
that you actually think you have a chance to play in your life.
That changes it.
Let's just say courses, period.
Just take August out of it
because I don't think any of us are playing anytime soon.
I know, but it's still our dream course.
Don't make that your dream course right now.
Take that out.
August is out.
You can play any course.
It's still St. Andrews.
Old course is my number one. Okay. Pe out. You can play any course. It's still St. Andrews. Old course is not my number one.
Okay.
Pebble Beach is top five for sure.
Pebble Beach is top three for me.
Maybe number one.
I think it's number one for me.
I'm a sucker for the ocean.
Me too.
I think it's number one for me.
There's just something about the waves that hit different.
I'll go number two.
I'll go St. Andrews and then Pebble.
You know you can play Pebble.
I think it's like 600 bucks
it's a public
yeah it's a public course
it's public
600
how bad would you feel
if you went out to Pebble
you got the trip
you had it planned
for like a year and a half
you get out there
and you just
you just start wiping it
you're done
like you go out there
and put up like a 125
Dave I got bad news for you
that's my expectation
when I go out there
like I'm not gonna go out there
being like oh I'm going low today
no but
I'm going out there knowing I'm going to get my ass kicked.
Well, no, not getting your ass kicked, but you're just not hitting them.
You're chunking balls.
You're hitting those kind of bad shots.
Not just missing green.
David, again.
It would be upsetting.
Again, that's what's going to happen to me.
That would be not fun.
I've done that at a course before.
I did that at a course that I paid way too much money for in Mexico,
and I couldn't get off the tee to the point where I pretty much had the yips.
Cabo del Sol? Nope. I forget the name much had the yips. Cabo del Sol?
Nope.
I forget the name of it.
It wasn't Cabo del Sol, though, because we weren't in Cabo.
Palmia?
We weren't in Cabo.
And so it was the worst, and it was the first time I had played with Sally's dad,
and I was like, well, he thinks I'm a scrub.
Didn't he take your money, too?
He took all my money.
I lost like $250 that round in just gambling debts.
That was all your money?
I know. I was kidding.
Come on.
But like, dude, it was so defeating going out there,
paying a bunch of money, getting my ass kicked,
losing a bunch of bets,
and looking like a total chump in front of my future father-in-law.
It was like, well, this couldn't have gone worse.
At least you set the bar very low and then gradually.
Yeah, the next time I played with him, I was striping it,
so I made up for it. Was that the
site of the controversial eagle?
There's no controversy surrounding this eagle. I can't remember
why we were so... Because it was a 600
yard hole and I eagled it and you guys said that it was
impossible, that there's no way I did. I think you were
just so excited that we were being jerks. We were
just trying to like poo-poo you like, okay.
You guys did this
off of...
I wasn't on the episode where you guys really went in on me for it, which was really unfair.
I mean, that's kind of how it goes.
I know.
Oh, yeah.
That was unfair.
That was on the old podcast.
We all get that.
I think I made him tell you in person one time that it was legit.
You did.
That's how long it stuck with me.
It seriously stuck.
Yeah.
Don't question my eagles.
I don't have that many.
Who you got?
Give me Jordan Spieth.
That's the trendy pick right now.
Is it?
He's trending.
He is trending up.
A lot of my other group texts is choosing the Spieth mon.
He will be my American pick.
Tommy Fleetwood will be my across the pond worldwide international player pick.
Okay.
Okay.
Dormy.
Who you got, Dorn?
You're going to say Brooks Koepka.
I'm going to go Rory.
Ooh.
Even though he played so well this past weekend.
He was on 59 watch. Yeah, he weekend. He was on 59 watch.
Yeah, he was.
He put on a clinic.
I'm hesitant to do that just because it's hard to follow something like that
with another really strong, I don't know.
I know what you're saying.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, absolutely.
Because it's like conventional wisdom is like, you know,
oh, he's going to just keep playing this well,
but it doesn't always go that way.
I think it rarely does.
We'll see.
Yeah.
He's my pick.
I don't hate it.
Well,
well,
I already have money on a player.
I bet $1 to win a hundred dollars,
uh,
on sneds.
Cause you know,
you can't let sneds get hot.
Oh,
that was you who put the money on sneds
yeah my buddy my buddy told me it's like terrible pick and i was like then put your money where your
mouth is i'll put one dollar sneds played well the canadian i think he's got the low tournament
score at pebble beach that's right but i mean like i mean i'm not gonna i'm not gonna try to
reinvent the wheel here i think like kepka is gonna be in the top three my only issue with
sneds is that he, why I don't think
he'll ever do it in a major, is that
when he blew the Masters, he
cried.
And I was like,
yeah, Sneds doesn't put out the vibe of a guy.
Like, Kepka's
not crying. I just saw the odds on him
and I knew that he had, like, he shot
22 under at a tournament there, and I was just like,
you know what? I'm going to throw this in the group text
and see what happens. And sure enough, like,
everyone started roasting me. 100 to 1?
Yeah, it was 100 to 1. I don't hate that.
I would have put 5 bucks on it. That's why I told my buddy. I was like,
fine, like, dude, I'll put up the dollar.
He's going to, like...
My American pick is Finau.
Whoa! Look at you!
Whoa! Look at you!
Yeah, Finau. Oh Vino. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Remember that time hashtag Chad said I was like Mark Leishman?
Such a backhanded compliment.
I think you're more like a Shane Lowry.
No, stop.
I want to be like a Shane Lowry.
Those are the same guy to me.
Remember we saw Shane Lowry.
You didn't because you were buying beer or hot dogs.
We saw him dunk one at ACC.
Yeah, that was tight.
Dude, Dylan acted like he saw it.
You didn't see it, bro.
I did see it.
No, you didn't.
He got back.
I watched the whole thing.
No, you didn't, dude.
You had the look of a guy who heard a roar and was like,
did you guys see that?
But you didn't actually see it.
Yeah, it was awesome when he made that shot.
You say whatever you want, but I know that I saw it I have the the visual in my brain right now I'm
watching it go what did he do after he dunked it he jumped in the lake oh he did from excitement
oh he didn't I don't know I don't remember he threw his wedge yes that's that's right it's
interesting you didn't know that I just forgot the celebration Dave Dave. Chill out. Okay.
That's a fun hole to sit and watch, by the way. It was low-key the best one.
We're talking about number...
What number is that?
Four.
Is it the Dell Match Play?
I'm going to have my bachelor party at Pebble Beach
just to make everyone pay a shit ton of money.
No, at the backside.
So it would be 13.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
You know what the most upsetting part of
what town is Pebble Beach in?
Sorry.
I don't know.
It's like it's own little town
I think.
Is it Pebble Beach?
I wonder
is it expensive to stay there?
I'm guessing yes.
I don't know where you fly into.
You could probably
hang glide in.
From where?
Or squirrel suit.
From where?
You just get dropped in
by a jet.
Oh you just jump out of a jump out of a jet? You squirrel suit and where? you just get dropped in by a jet oh you just jump out of a yeah
you just jump out of a jet
you squirrel suit
and you land on your
helicopter pad
I don't think anyone
jumps out of jets
they go too fast
you have your stick
shipped to the course
and you just hop out
in a squirrel suit
that's not
everyone gets there
a lot of people
how many helicopters go?
you gotta think
people would die
just getting there
yeah
old guys have trouble
I feel like a helicopter doesn't go more.
This is going to be so off.
I'm going to say 5,000 feet.
Above sea level.
Yeah.
Now, they can get higher.
I think there are...
The air gets so thin up there.
I think there are special helicopters for like a mountainous...
Oh, damn.
You have to do mountain rescues at skis and they go, you know, like 10,000 feet.
There are three answers to this.
The maximum altitude
which can be reached
during forward flight
typically depends more
on the ability of the engine
to breathe the thinner air
than the rotor's ability
to provide lift.
Turbine engine helicopters
can reach around 25,000 feet.
But the maximum height
at which a helicopter
can hover is much lower.
See, that's what I meant.
A high performance helicopter
like the Augusta A109E, everyone knows about this one. Yeah, that's what i'm at a high performance helicopter like the augusta a109e
everyone knows about yeah so my dad owns that can hover at about 10 400 feet however if the
helicopter remains in ground effect which you guys know what ground effect is right you know you know
yeah everyone knows i.e if it's hovering this is for the people at home if it's hovering close to
high ground its maximum hover altitude will be higher. The Augusta can hover in ground effects at 13,800 feet.
Okay.
So you could definitely squirrel from that height.
Is that what you're asking about?
Sure.
This article might not be correct because the next paragraph says,
this is all under the helicopter thing,
the next paragraph just says,
black bears are indigenous to North America
and some parts of Australia.
While black bears can reach a weight of up to 600 pounds,
the polar bear is actually a larger animal
in both weight and size.
Oh, we knew that.
They have mixed sources here and mixed directions
on what they're actually talking about.
I think everybody knows that the polar bear
is bigger than the black bear, right?
We're all comfortable with that fact.
I think it's only a matter of time.
I bet in the next 20 years there's black bears in Texas.
Just want to put that out there.
Looks like if we're still doing this, I want to be proven right.
The city closest to Pebble Beach looks to be San Jose.
See, they would be big enough to have an airport is what I'm saying.
Maybe San Jose. See, they would be big enough to have an airport is what I'm saying. Maybe San Jose.
Okay.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And then if you keep
going north,
you'll hit San Francisco.
A buddy of mine
from college
who you know,
a red-headed fella,
he shot 76 at Pebble
with his dad.
You know what?
That just pisses me right off.
Pisses me off, too.
What a jerk.
I think part of the reason I think it's my number one course to play is just because
I love the environment up there.
The climate.
Pebble Beach is in the town of Del Monte Forest.
That sounds tight.
Is that technically northern Cal, or is that like mid-Cal?
No, I would say it's north.
It's mid-Cal, man.
Yeah, it's really mid, actually. It's north it's mid cow man yeah it's really
mid actually right way more mid than i thought it was so i like that a lot that's a great climate
because it's still pull over at dinner that's that's part of the reason san francisco is my
favorite city all time because i i just love the weather weather's dope there
man this is we do this weekend and fucking fun this has been wow. Should we do this weekend in fucking fun? This has been fun.
Wow.
We changed the name of it.
Okay.
That was aggressive.
It's really weird to do this weekend in fun on Tuesday.
You better have something real dope planned.
It's Tuesday and we're about to get this weekend in fun off.
This was such an action-packed episode.
We skipped some of the things we planned on doing.
I know.
What else are we going to do?
The whole squad ain't steaming today.
We were going to steam room.
We can't steam.
We haven't steamed in a couple weeks.
Who was going to steam?
You had to steam.
No, no.
I wasn't really steaming.
Oh, no.
Maybe it's for the best.
You know, life's been so good.
I could have steamed.
I could have steamed, but it was remedied, so I don't need to steam anymore.
It's like they knew I was going to do it.
They're like, God damn it.
Will's going to complain about this.
Let's straighten it out. Me and Dylan were steaming on baked chicken yeah fuck baked chicken
does dylan even know how to like bake a chicken oh that's that's a question that needs to be
i feel like you put it in an oven like i feel like you ate baked chicken like every day
when we were at granddad just admit that the bottom tier thing to do is like put chicken in a foil with like some vegetables and some olive oil and then just put it in the chicken.
Like that's the –
No, no, no.
And we've done that.
Just to be clear.
Just to be crystal clear.
When I'm baking chicken, I go to Central Market.
They have some already marinated chicken breasts at like in the case.
They're marinated.
Yeah.
They're all good.
And I just – if I'm feeling real lazy, I'll get two of them.
I'll bake one.
I'll eat most of it for dinner that night with some potatoes or vegetables.
And then I'll cut the other one up and use it in a salad the next day.
It's just easy.
You better eat it the next day because it ain't going to be good two days later.
No, chicken don't stay.
I did get some intel.
Remember that day I told you guys that I was weeded out by the chicken I was eating?
Yeah. Got some intel and remember that day i told you guys that i was weeded out by the chicken i was eating yeah got some intel from a listener apparently there's an issue going around right now that some chicken breasts are being contaminated with and it makes it feel like it's undercooked
it's not i don't like that at all he's like even if it's cooked it tastes like it's undercooked so
they're really trying to get rid of it and that's a hundred percent i think what happened because
the other chicken breasts that i made was totally fine but it freaked me
out man do we know who this is affecting like certain brands or i don't know see that's the
thing i don't even know what brand the chicken i was eating was yeah straight from the case i don't
like that at all i may have to pass on chicken for the next yeah no it definitely it definitely
has made me uh pump the brakes i'm not pumping the brakes on row back though they just sent us
a nice little package here
Yeah, they did hats pullovers like they're spoiling us. So the one that they sent for Dave is
It has little hounds tooth pattern on it. It's micro house. It's a new release. Yeah, they just went micro They went micro hounds tooth on his it looks very sharp. It's very cool. Yeah, they've got polos
They've got quarter zips hats performance teeth
They got it all.
If you want a handkerchief to put around your dog's neck
and make him look like a badass,
they've got that too.
I got that
Navy pull. I think we all have the Navy pull over now
with the American flag.
I don't have the American flag. I'm pissed off that you have it too.
Yeah, I have it.
I'm going to wear it every day you wear yours.
I feel like you're going to be kind of a poser wearing it though.
I tried to get one with the Canadian flag on it
but they didn't have that yet. That wouldn't surprise me.
Yeah.
Go Raptors. If you want to
go to Roback, R-H-O-B-A-C-K,
go to Roback.com
use CB20 for 20%
off your order. No one's doing that.
20% off? That's insane.
It's very generous. Again, that's
Roback.com, R-H-O-B-A-C-K, for 20% off using code CB20.
If there's a time to buy some moisture-wicking fabrics, it's right now.
It's moisture-wicking season.
It's seriously sweat season.
You've got about six months left.
I don't care whether you're in Texas or whether you're up in western New York.
You need some moisture-wicking materials, especially on the golf course.
Make Rowback your new choice.
Let's do this weekend in fun.
As always, this is presented to you by Eisenhower's on Rainy Street.
Did anyone make it there last weekend?
We talked a big game,
but your boy had won too many white claws and couldn't make it out.
I did not.
After dinner, I could not make it back out.
Hey, they have these bachelorette watch parties there.
They're obviously during the show, so Monday nights.
This week, of course, it's on Tuesday.
But every Monday night, they have a watch party.
Just go chill out at Eisenhower's watching The Bachelorette.
Yeah.
Just get some cheers off of Luke P.
Can I issue a proclamation or a statement to the listeners?
I just want them to be aware.
So when they go to try to find the bar on like Google maps or something,
it's spelled I C E N.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not,
not like Dwight D I get,
I get DMS a lot like,
Hey,
you're going to be at Eisenhower's and a lot of people spell E I S and
there's nothing I I'm not,
I'm not dissing you.
I mean,
I get it,
but just want to make, make it clear. It's I C not dissing you. I get it. But I just want to make it clear.
It's I-C-E-N-H-A-U-E-R-S.
Apostrophe S, that is.
If you search Eisenhower's
Austin using the president spelling
and not the bar spelling,
it will correct you.
It will?
Yeah, it'll come up with
Eisenhower's.
Handcrafted drinks made with fresh ingredients.
That's that SEO working for you.
Great work.
Great work, Mike.
It's huge.
Dylan, start us off.
Yeah, I will start.
I have literally not one thing on the books for this weekend.
Friday through Sunday, not one thing.
Except for, of course, Sunday is Father's Day, which is a big day for me because I am one.
And I will be hanging out with the homie.
I don't even know what we're doing yet. Something. Probably go swimming.
Go swim?
Yeah. Maybe do a picnic. I don't know.
Something tight. Probably going to see my dad
at some point, too. Because, again, it's
Father's Day. And that's it.
Sundays are for the dads.
Yeah.
What's the homie getting you? He isn't sad, man.
Oh, I know. He should just write you a check. What's the homie getting you? He getting sad, man. Oh, I know.
He should just write you a check.
What if the homie gave me money for Father's Day?
Yeah, just an envelope with like a 20.
Dude, where'd you get this?
That wouldn't be the worst.
Where'd you get this money?
CC's gift card, maybe?
I don't know.
Man, those go a long way.
I went to Sonic for the first time yesterday.
What do you mean?
Like ever?
Yeah.
Really?
In your life?
Yeah.
That's weird.
What did you get?
Well, Sally wanted some tater tots and a frozen lemonade.
Of course.
Oh, yeah.
And so, like, I wasn't going to get anything, but it was hot out.
So I was like, screw it.
Give me one of those, like, milkshake things.
So I got, like, a Butterfinger little mini milkshake thing.
Damn. Only took about them 20 minutes
to bring it out so i'm never going to sonic again were they busy my money's going to cc's
no place hops like sonic no they weren't busy still took 20 minutes we had to complain we had
to press the button after 20 minutes we pressed the button we're like hey is our is our food
coming out because uh do you not it's not on the screen anymore scratch but on the screen it says
like what's going on uh-huh and like on the screen it says what's going on.
And the screen said, your food's en route to you.
And then it went away and we were like, the food's not here.
Who brought it to you?
His name was Mike.
Oh, is it not a girl on skates?
No, he wasn't even skating.
Oh, that's lame.
Shouts to Mike, though. He was grinding his ass off.
He was working really hard.
I think someone had called him sick or something
because it seemed like it was a one-man show.
I am on record as saying that their food is highly overrated their their cheeseburgers are just what yeah a lot of people talk them up why would i ever go to sonic good tots and uh not a
bad grilled cheese sandwich really yep it's hard to mess up a grilled cheese i'm not a tot guy
oh i love a good tot sally pointed out yesterday she's like you just don't really like fried potatoes that much, do you?
And I was like, you know what?
Maybe I don't.
That's weird, man.
Fried potatoes are amazing.
It makes sense because don't you like the really skinny french fries?
Mm-hmm.
So the tot is like the antithesis, right?
Yeah, it's the total opposite.
So I like the thin french fries.
For me, french fries are a vehicle for whatever sauce I got in front of me.
That's fair.
What are you doing this weekend?
I'm going next.
I can go.
I kind of don't have any plans.
I would like to go swimming in some fashion.
I was just about to say, let's go to Barton Springs.
I know.
I feel like we should go there on a weekday, though, to just skip the crowds a little bit
and maybe do my pool or something.
It's the summer of Will's pool.
No, it's not.
Yeah, it is.
I went there last Friday.
Dude, why don't you invite the squad over?
I can.
But I can only invite so many people.
Do they enforce that?
I don't know.
I remember my-
No, actually, they might have.
Really?
At the end of the day, one of the girls from our apartment complex started walking around
and talking to people. But there was a bachelorette party there and
they were letting loose pretty hard like they had like they had about six cases of truly just
sitting out they're just listening to kesha and so then like me and lily were just sitting there
with our white claws just chilling oh house divided pool divided yeah but i don't really
know i mean i'll probably get some women's world Cup off. I'm going to be watching the game today at 2 p.m.
I thought you were only watching the U20 Women's.
Probably not a bad thing.
No, but we have USY Women play today, too.
Who do they play?
Catch me eating meat pies in pints.
Let's get meat pies in pints this weekend.
I think they play Thailand, actually.
Will.
Ooh.
Let's get pints this weekend.
Yeah.
That's such a colder weather place, though.
I don't like drinking Guinness in the heat.
Well, then don't get a Guinness.
No, you have to.
If you're at the Donkey, you've got to get a Guinness.
No, you don't have to.
For the lads?
For the lads? That place is pretty good.
Love that place.
But really, yeah, I don't have much going on.
I don't know.
It's the first weekend in a while where I don't have to think about anything.
No obligations.
I'm going to take advantage of it.
I'm in the same boat.
I do have a Barton Springs trip, if not this week, this weekend.
It's not really a trip.
It's just drive down there and pay five bucks and go in.
Oh.
With who?
Like, how's this already on the books?
My wife. My wife. My wife. Okay. We're going to go. So,'s this already on the books? My wife.
My wife.
My wife.
Okay.
We're gonna go.
So, whatever day you want.
We can all go.
Let's get a dinner off, too.
Yeah, I'd like to eat dinner.
I usually eat dinner.
Let's eat dinner together, then.
Then someone needs to make a reservation, like, today.
I'm pretty happy about...
Let's get a res.
Someone's gotta spearhead this.
Where should we get a res?
We can't have a situation like last week where the squad was in disarray.
Is Sally in town?
Nope, she gone.
See ya.
Will Intern Klein be here?
Yeah, he wants to go float the river.
I'm not floating any rivers this weekend.
You know, that sounds like fun, but it's such a beating.
I haven't floated since 2010.
It's like a 10-hour commitment.
It's an all-day commitment.
No, I'm not doing that. I'm going to, yeah. I don't float rivers since 2010. It's like a 10-hour commitment. It's an all-day commitment. No, I'm not doing that.
I'm going to...
Yeah.
I don't float rivers.
Everyone knows that.
You've floated before.
I hated it.
Really?
I did it once, and I absolutely hated it.
You hate the weirdest things.
No, dude.
You know what, though?
I don't know if I would like it as an adult.
It's too much exposure.
It's too much...
It's so much sun exposure, man.
Yeah.
That's...
I like the idea of it.
It's just...
It is a lot.
I just got gotta bring that denim
bucket hat with you that's true the fact that you have to wait the fact you have to wait in
line to do it too that dude that's the thing you got to get down there early sometimes the line
takes forever once you hit the water though it's fun but everything around it sucks yeah it's not
worth it i'd rather sit in the pool and be like all right i'm good now i'm gonna go walk back to
my apartment some guy floats by you like blaring like cory morrow or something yeah you're like what's up
turn it up maybe i should just put my drinking my country boy will hat on this weekend and do it
that's your boy will love floating it's gas station straw cowboy hat yeah that's what you
do at the river says um they still have the... No, we canceled season, SCN.
No, I didn't.
Did we mute it?
I thought we muted it.
I think I canceled it.
I'm still here for it.
Oh, you're here for it.
Are you standing it?
No, I'm just here for it.
Okay.
Well, that's going to be
a fun weekend.
Very.
Many, many doors to open.
Let's get out of here.
Cool.
Make sure to listen on Patreon. our next two episodes are up on
patreon patreon.com circling back podcast only way to hear is the rest of the week sorry about that
and if you want to support the pod go to washmedia.com shop check out the merch get it all
see you tomorrow. Bye.