Circling Back - Nextdoor Power Rankings & Beating Up Food Mascots
Episode Date: September 30, 2019Breaking down the viral tweet about beating up food mascots, Dave's Nextdoor Power Rankings, and deciphering Succession's "Dundee" episode. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as lo...w $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (13:49) Beating Up Food Mascots (33:40) Nextdoor Power Rankings (54:25) Could We Take Down Kevin McAllister (1:07:22) Succession, S2E8 Shop Circling Back Merchandise: www.washedmedia.com/shop Earlybird CBD: www.earlybirdcbd.com (CIRCLINGBACK for 20% off) Your Super: www.yoursuper.com/circlingback (15% off) Indochino: www.indochino.com (STEAM for $30 off) Fulton & Roark: www.fultonandroark.com (CIRCLINGBACK for half off soap) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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all right we're back circling back podcast live the early bird cbd studios in austin texas my
name is will to freeze to my right dave ruff so a lot of y'all were hitting me up asking like
d man are you gonna get your yard back the grass gonna grow again answer's yes
also we got pissed on on the way here yeah we needed it though i'm feeling pretty good about
where this yard's at that's two days in a row in addition to the watering i've been doing
it's coming back you can't be the guy with the shitty yard let's see some pigs
yeah i don't have any yet.
Okay, we'll take some.
I'm going to wait a little bit.
Jeez, man.
You think I don't have a pocket knife in my hand too, bitch? Put your pocket knives down.
Don't point it at me.
I'm not afraid of you, dog.
You don't keep that blade on me.
So do I, clearly.
We got blades.
We need to explain this so people aren't confused.
We need to explain why Dave and I are holding pocket knives at each other's throats right now.
Yeah, we probably should.
The Texas Parks and Wildlife sent us a nice care package of some hats, a gift pack for the homie.
They also included some pocket knives.
That's how it fucking goes.
For some reason, Dave and Dylan are like little kids with these pocket knives
and just keep clicking them back and forth and just like i'm just gonna give mine to
the homie this hat doesn't really fit i thought it was gonna look much larger on your head than
it does it doesn't look that big i feel like in hats like this i look like a little kid who got
into his dad's closet it doesn't look as big as i thought it would look i don't know if that's a
compliment or not but it says on it uh support your Texas game wardens, which, you know, of course.
We all should.
This is for all the ASMR people.
Isn't that a thing?
Yeah, Velcro probably.
I think anything can be ASMR as long as you're horny enough.
Wow.
That's a quote right there.
Put that on a t-shirt.
This hat's tight, but I wish it said Von Dutch instead of the other thing.
Yeah, Von Dutch hats were always sick.
No one's doing Von Dutch anymore.
That's one brand that I refused to get into when I was a piece of shit.
Well, Tommy Lee was wearing it and stuff.
You didn't want to use Tommy Lee as your basis.
Ashton Kutcher.
I was going to say Ashton Kutcher on Punk'd wore it all the time.
What is he like?
He would just punk people.
That's the thing.
Yeah, he punk'd everybody.
Yeah.
Remember when he punk'd Justin Timberlake?
I don't...
Made him cry?
I don't recall that.
You wouldn't be able to punk people these days.
You punk me, you're going to find out about this knife.
Like, what if you're punking, like, 6ix9ine or whatever that rapper's name is,
and then, like, it's like, hold on, dude, no, Ashton's right here.
Ashton's right here.
I think in the vetting process before you punk 6ix9ine,
you're like, ah, maybe we should stay away from this guy.
He's like a legit gangster.
They punked Dirk early on in his career.
Yeah.
He was at a dinner with, like, Michael Finley and somebody else.
And they had, like, a kid, like, go up and, like, keep asking for autographs.
Like, he came back, like, seven times.
And Dirk being, you know, the GOAT would just oblige each time.
He's like, wow, I got more.
He would just show up with more and more stuff.
The same kid over and over again.
Yeah, same kid.
Come on, man.
You selling this stuff?
What are you doing?
Yeah.
That's funny.
We're going to go up and ask Dirt for his autograph seven times.
So in this world, Bam Margera is doing the punking.
I actually don't hate that.
If they brought that back,
if they brought back Punked with Bam Margera,
we would watch it, no doubt.
But only if he does a Don Vito voice.
I just punked Don Vito.
Didn't Don Vito die?
Yeah, rest in peace.
R.I.P. Don Vito.
Yeah, he died.
He was kind of,
it turned out he did some bad things.
Heart failure?
I mean.
That would be my guess.
Yeah.
We didn't do the autopsy, Don.
I mean, not a healthy man, but just by looking at him.
You know?
Yeah.
Did his eyes finally, like, pop out of his skull?
Anyway.
He gives me anxiety.
I don't know.
I don't know if it says how he died.
He had a lot of legal issues, though.
That's too bad.
Yep. I hate to too bad. Yep.
I hate to see it.
Yep.
The tough thing about St. Augustine is that it doesn't grow via seed.
It tastes all of the yard.
How'd you decide on St. Augustine?
Or is that just what was there?
Well, it's what's natural to it.
No, I didn't want to lay down sod or anything.
They're finally sodding that house across the street,
that big mansion-looking thing.
You see that?
Yeah, they got the sod ready to roll.
There's so many cars out there,
work trucks in this neighborhood.
I'm sure the neighbors are not that happy.
Dude, it's insane.
It's very loud.
It's insane.
It's amazing we don't hear more stuff from our studio.
We have a major construction project going on
next to our studio.
Oh, and like major.
Every single day you're out there there's
at least eight cars parked out there a bunch of dudes just like looking at it it's all f350s
yeah it's like dylan's fucking family reunion yeah what what the fuck is that take that back
no it's tight i'm not saying in a bad way don't you drive like an f250 you know i don't drive
an f250 david okay well. No one in my family does.
You were talking about getting one.
No, I wasn't.
Which one of us slices open a finger?
One of you is going to because you're just sitting here fiddling with it.
One of you is going to accidentally cut your finger.
I'm drinking nitro cold brew with a fucking blade.
When I buy a home, I think I'm gonna be uh a grass guy in the front
and then i might lay down some fake grass in the back a turf guy in the back yeah for activities
and party in the back it's hot though doesn't it do that for a pup no okay you have turf at your
apartment complex don't you yeah yeah yeah sally's Yeah. Sally's sister has turf at their place,
and it's really good for, like, young kids,
and especially if you have, like, dogs and stuff.
It just makes things a little easier.
I don't know.
I used to be very adamant against it,
and then I realized how hard it was probably to keep that alive back there,
and I was like, you know what?
This makes total sense.
We looked into getting some turf back there just for, like, training and it was pretty expensive just like pushing sleds and stuff yeah flipping tires and
shit really for randy well me and randy oh and anybody wants to train okay i'm always done twice
do you want to stack rocks no No. Flipping tires.
Have you ever done that as a workout, man?
That's tough.
I've done it.
It's fucking hell on your back.
Yeah, if you've got a weak-ass back, I'm fine whenever I flip tires.
Is that how you did it?
You should have just told us you flipped too many tires.
Yeah, what did you end up doing?
Were you, like, tying your shoe or something?
Were you tying your Yeezys?
Yeah, I threw my back out tying my Yeezys.
That's what happened.
No, but it wasn't an alpha workout
by any means.
It was the ab pull-down machine.
To get the weight moving,
it puts a lot of stress
on the lower middle back area,
and I just went too hard at it.
It's always when you least expect it, dude.
Man.
I will say you use that machine a lot.
Well, you know,
I'm just trying to stay pool-ready at all dave i mean like dylan i was on that thing every time i see him
there that's not true oh i think it is oh jim i'm cool cool cool cool um hey we got a big day
tomorrow yeah yeah yeah one of the biggest days in wash media history.
One of the biggest,
probably the biggest,
most anticipated day of the year.
Honestly.
Yeah.
It's got the official first episode of spooky season on Patreon.
I can't imagine not being optimized at this point.
Nah,
it's like,
what are you even doing with your life?
Welcome to be on the paywall.
I want to hit a sound effect right now,
but I don't have a good grasp of the board like you do.
Dude, just hit one.
What happened?
Make the thunderclap.
Okay, let's try that again.
And then Will's cheeks after that.
People are going to hate this.
Did it keep playing or stop?
Can you move?
No, it's definitely playing. Oh, I'm sorry. Well, that's on me. Still subscribe to hate this. Did it keep playing or it stopped? Can you move? No, it's definitely playing.
I'm sorry.
Well, that's on me.
Still subscribe to the Patreon.
Yeah.
I thought if you hit it again, it turned it off.
To be fair, Dave will be behind the soundboard.
Dave has this all loaded up for him.
I'm not going to try to step on his toes and be thunderstruck.
I will say this.
Will's going to get shit for playing the wrong one.
That was definitely me.
I reached over.
Might have strained a muscle.
Well, I hit the wrong one the other day before we started recording. We had to wait
five minutes for the song to play out before
we could start the podcast.
If you want to listen, I don't know how
you could have missed this, but we did drop one on
this feed last week. Did it do numbies?
I haven't checked
the next-gen stats, but I bet
it did. I think it did numbies.
I can't imagine
not listening to it.
I'm really excited
unless you're someone who's easily frightened i don't get excited for pods like i do spooky season
i don't even like i don't like halloween but i like spooky season stop with the evil laugh
shit i like the season i hate the holiday whatever dude uh oh brett just pulled out a little
little sugar-free Red Bull.
He has an empty one right in front of him.
Are you going double barrel? What are you doing?
Dude, you can't do that.
Normally I do 16 ounces, but they don't have the
16-ounce 12-pack at Target.
So I have to do
two eights. 8.4 to be exact.
8.4, so that's 16.8.
Dude, that extra 0.8 ounces
is going to be too much
I don't think so
I've done 20s before
dude you have so much
taurine just going
through your veins right now
you're a 20s guy
a lot of taurine
I used to tell people
it was like
bull piss
they'd be like
no shit
people bought that
yeah big time
my dad worked for Red Bull
for a while back
in like the early 2000s
when they were kind of
getting going
hey remember when we had
we kept the fridge
we kept the fridge full of Red Bull at the Grand X office when they were kind of getting going. Hey, remember when we kept the fridge full of Red Bull
at the Grand X office and they were sugar-free
and Boosh requested that we move to the non-sugar-free ones?
No one's making requests like that.
Dude, I love that.
You just wanted to be wired on sugar and taurine all day.
Did your dad help organize that thing
where they build a boat and drive it off a cliff?
Flu tug?
No, he was not in the marketing department.
Oh, damn.
I've always thought that was tight.
Did you guys ever see the Red Bull crashed ice, it was called?
Where it was like you skated down a bobsled course?
No.
And it was like five guys.
It's awesome.
I'd love to know about it.
It is awesome.
Did he coordinate that?
He did not coordinate that either, but I went to one.
It's like roller derby on ice?
Yeah, just like down a, it literally looks like a bobsled course.
Dude, this is lit.
Dude, why'd you just come down?
Dude, stop flicking your knife out.
Dylan, put the knife away.
I didn't mean to intimidate Brett there.
He kind of snapped his head around like I was going to cut him.
I'm not going to cut you for the record.
You're treating it like a butterfly knife right now.
I'm not going to cut you on purpose, I should say.
I'll put it down.
Chill.
I don't think people are ready for Brett just to randomly pop on.
I think it goes that people don't know that he's sitting in here.
It's kind of a throwback to the Micah days, though.
Yeah.
It is.
Not that you're anything close to Micah.
You're the Micah, essentially.
But he would sometimes turn your mic back on if you wanted to say something else. Yeah, if you want to make a statement, Brett, you're anything close to Micah. You're the Micah, essentially. He would sometimes turn your mic back on if you wanted to say something else.
If you want to make a statement, Brett, the floor is yours.
I'm actually working on the washed media pitch deck right now.
Wow, that's huge.
Is it sexy or what?
Not yet.
I hit up Micah on Saturday because I was looking for somebody to go watch this fight.
The Errol Spence fight.
My two people I hit up first are always Micah and Dan.
Those are my two combat sports partners.
Neither of them could go.
Dan had to work at like 5 a.m. the next day.
And Micah could not go because...
This is hilarious.
His fiance's 15-year-old nephew is in town.
He just had to entertain a 15-year-old all weekend.
Yeah, like...
He's like, what do I do?
And I'm like, I don't know, dude.
So he had what I assume was just a sober fun
with a 15-year-old kid
that you probably don't know very well.
I hit him up yesterday.
I was like, Micah,
because we live so close to one another.
I'm like, dude,
we got to start watching some NFL together once in a while,
even if it's just like red zone second half morning slate. Like, who cares? And he was like, he was just like, he's like, yeah, we've got to start watching some NFL together once in a while, even if it's just like red zone second half morning slate.
Like, who cares?
And he was like, he was just like, he's like, yeah, I can't today.
I got this 15-year-old that I'm hanging out with.
Which is a weird way to put it.
Yeah, I'll catch you later.
Just say Caitlyn's nephew.
Well, I knew what was happening.
Okay.
He's got to hang out with this 15-year-old dude.
Okay.
They did some good activities.
I mean, he's not the first person to have to tell us that.
I mean, just throw him in front of a PlayStation and he's fine, right?
What do you do with him?
Yeah, I was like, I have FIFA 20.
Does he want to play FIFA 20?
Just give him a tablet.
Or whatever, like an iPad.
Hey, can I make a quick statement toward EA Sports?
If we have any listeners out there who work for them.
You guys need to go up the ladder and tell them to fix FIFA 20.
Seriously.
It's really bothering.
It stinks.
What's the problem?
It sucks.
Glitchy.
What's going on?
Player switching is terrible.
Defense is much more difficult and not in the good fun way.
Like it's not like there's a learning curve.
It's just bad.
The gameplay is just terrible compared to 19.
And you know,
I'm still smoking kids and stuff,
but it's not as much fun to do at six,
five as it is to do like six,
one.
I just can't defend. So if anyone out there wants that smoke like holler at me still sounds like
you need to just adjust dude i'm trying and i've talked to other people who are decent fifa players
and they're also having trouble i went on the reddit because i'm a total fucking loser who
like goes on video game reddits and freaks out about this stuff trust me numerous people are
complaining right now so man i'm really sorry to hear that it's okay i think i might need to stop playing
online and start playing just backers exclusively that's it you game more than i do i haven't played
in a few weeks um i play way too much fifa at this point especially i was sick all weekend so
all i did was play no No, I'm not ashamed.
All right, man.
Hey, should we talk about this thing that went viral?
The virality behind it?
Is this the food mascot thing?
Yes, food mascots and whether or not we can kick their asses.
Yeah, we probably should talk about it.
This was sent to us about 100 times last night.
Some guy, at Matt Tomicic not the best at i've ever
seen but uh he put up a thing and it says it just says food mascots and whether or not i'd be able
to kick their ass and then he put from red to green red being they would absolutely kick my ass
middle fair fight and then at the end I could definitely kick their ass
Are there any things on here
That stick out to you guys?
Well there is the cheetah
The cheetah
He's a cheetah right?
Chester Cheetah
And we have to obviously
Discuss that since we've talked about fighting a cheetah
Before
He's third place on this chart They would definitely kick my ass category um i'm gonna disagree a
little bit there that should move a little bit farther to the right everything else looks pretty
spot on to me i think i think you're under i think you're overestimating the animal qualities
of chester cheetah and you're underestimating he's by much of a bad boy he's bipedal
why are the two m&Ms so far apart on this?
The disrespect they're showing
to the peanut M&M
is disgusting.
Apparently he thinks
the red M&M
is a much better fighter
than the yellow M&M.
I guess that's the peanut M&M.
Dude, the yellow M&M's like,
well, you'd think like,
oh, he's got a peanut in him.
He's thick.
He's a thick boy.
Yeah, he's a thick boy.
He's always had like,
he's always been kind of
a little bitch.
Yeah, but I imagine him
kind of being like Lenny from Of Mice and Men where he doesn't know his strength. Because he's a thick boy he's he's always had like he's always been kind of a little bitch yeah but i imagine him kind of being like lenny from of mice and men where he doesn't know his strength because
he's got he's got some size and he might be able to beat the piss out of somebody if i'm going red
versus yellow m&ms on each other i think that yellow is winning every single time i think red
runs his mouth this little rabbit thing down here near the bottom is that the yoohoo what is that
from tricks rabbit oh tricks yeah i
would choke that thing out yeah i'm not really worried about a rabbit tricks are for uh kids
right i think the tricks rabbit's the most egregiously placed one yeah that doesn't belong
my biggest issue is the kool-aid man the kool-aid man he needs to be up there with the green giant
kool-aid man is a a he's a large uh living and breathing pitcher of kool-aid that runs through brick walls but you
could make it yeah it's amazing that he doesn't crack when he runs through the brick wall but
that's what's so scary morbidly obese though you know like he's probably not gonna beating up
morbidly obese people's not easy when did that ever become they can eat punches you can wear
them out i know you like to beat up obese people but you can wear them i don't come on man the
green giant is number one in this list.
Yeah, he's stomping everybody out.
There's no disputing that he's going to kick the shit out of us.
Well, yeah, he's a green giant.
The Gerber baby is...
Of course, it's going to be easy to take down, too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that's properly...
The Gerber baby is not going to be a hard one.
That's an easy hurdle to jump over.
Also, the Pillsbury Doughboy.
He's going to be simple. I can ball boy like he's gonna be simple i don't know
him up and just throw him i don't know about the keebler elf because he tiny i feel like i know
he's tiny but i feel like he dabbles in wizardry or something i feel like he's got a squad behind
him too that's true yeah you might get if you run up to his treehouse like and he's got all
his squad there like you're gonna get pelted from all angles it's. It's like when a bee stings you, and then they all swarm.
Yeah.
The pheromones or whatever.
Is that what happens?
Maybe.
It's like at a college house party when everyone spills out to the front yard
and gets stomped out by 15 dudes in khaki shorts.
Back when you used to kick GDIs out of parties?
Yeah.
Exactly.
And you're just like, all right, let's go to the front and just stomp this dude.
Exactly like that, yeah.
Why is Colonel Sanders so low on this list he's he's like on the the more toward the green of being
able to kick their ass i feel like you don't want to fuck with colonel sanders he's an old man dude
he's too old whoever someone on twitter said uncle ben would absolutely beat the shit out of me
it was delf Delph is right.
Uncle Ben.
I'm not fucking with Uncle Ben.
No one's fucked with Uncle Ben since like 1960 because he will fuck your shit up.
Oh.
Captain Crunch.
Okay.
Yeah.
I mean, you don't obtain the rank of captain for nothing.
They don't just give that away.
He went through. He clearly. He went through some training.
He went up the ladder, earned it.
I do think that Ronald McDonald would be an easy one.
He seems pretty frail, and the fact that he's got those shoes on is going to make it really hard for him until he puts it in your ass.
I don't know if it'll fit in my ass.
Let me just kick your ass.
It's going to affect his agility, you're saying?
Yeah, like he's not going to have the mobility that he needs in order to properly fight.
He might be a big ground guy.
I don't know.
It'd be pretty embarrassing to get choked out by a dude with all white makeup on.
He's just got his hands around your throat, and he's just whispering,
Shh, shh, shh, it'll be over soon.
That's creepy, man.
How is that?
I don't know.
God. What's the little bear thing up here? That's creepy, man. How is that? I don't know. God.
What's the little bear thing up here?
What's he from?
Are you loving it?
Next to Ronald McDonald.
I think Dunkaroos, maybe?
No, that's a kangaroo.
Dunkaroos should have been on here, if I'm being honest.
I'm choking it.
That was my Ronald McDonald choking you out.
What's wrong with you?
I don't know.
Why are you ASMRing so hard today?
Spooky season.
No, I don't know what that bear is uh but you got to respect
the bear either way so i'm okay i have no clue what the bear is do you know what the bear is
i've not seen this by the way is it the klondike bar bear but no no that thing would wreck us
yeah that thing you don't want that smoke also is tony the tiger hit no player tony the tiger is the second yeah if you ranked these
he'd be number two got it and i think i think there's no question he's like jacked especially
for a tiger he's between the green giant and uh the cheetah it's fair he's kind of like dylan
he's all upper body no legs who was the uh do you guys remember like the apple jacks like uh
uh what was it the rasta man no the Applejacks, like, what was it,
the Rasta men?
No,
the Rasta Applejacks guy?
Wait,
was he like a Rasta frog?
Yeah,
Rastafarian?
I think he's a Rastafarian.
Oh.
Yeah,
he's a waiter
at Wilman's now.
Hey,
wait a minute.
Oh,
you're right.
Like,
they had a straight up
Rasta dude.
Oh, this is awesome.
What is he supposed to...
Oh, he's a cinnamon stick.
Yep.
And he's got dreadlocks.
Wait, let me see.
He's the cinnamon.
He's the cinnamon.
Good call, Brett.
Dude, I knew we hired Brett for a reason.
Whoa, are you sure that's real?
That's tight.
That's so awesome.
Good for him.
Can they do that?
Well, I mean, I think there's a reason
that it's very hard to find these photos now.
What the fuck is this?
I'm looking.
Oh, my God.
Dude, are you sure this wasn't from, like, that Seth Rogen food movie?
This is so on brand.
It's just an Apple Jacks box, but they did spooky marshmallows.
So it just says spooky marshmallows.
Oh, man.
They really had to.
They turned him into Frankenstein.
He shaved his dreadlocks for his Halloween costume.
That's dedication.
What if I got dreadlocks?
I don't think you can pull off dreadlocks, man.
You can't do that.
You sure?
I feel like you shouldn't.
Although...
No, we can't do dreadlocks.
You would be the most likely to have that to do that in this room
my sister wanted them for a little bit but my parents were like
shut up
you should do them in Cabo
when you go
I was thinking about for the wedding in Cabo just getting like the braids
a couple of them done
I thought that would be nice
criminally underrated also the the leprechaun, Lucky Charms.
Somewhere in between Fair Fight and I Could Definitely Kick Their Ass,
I don't know about that.
He's a little guy.
He's a leprechaun, though.
Talk about magical powers.
They dabble in magic.
Right?
Yes.
I'm kind of bummed at some of the people they didn't put on here.
Thank you.
What if they had, like like the little caesars dude
the pizza pizza guy pizza pizza he's got the fucking pitchfork yeah but he's skin and bone
man that's a skinny little dude how's he skin and bone he eats so much he eats so much little
caesars maybe he has a tapeworm he's probably diabetic why would you assume that he has a
tapeworm if he eats all that pizza and he's so skinny, where's he putting it?
Dude, you're just trying to ride for Detroit, dude.
Don't try to act like... Oh, I'm supposed to be able to beat up a Spartan?
I don't think that's happening.
Is he a Spartan or a Greek?
I don't know.
Caesar, isn't it?
Like Julius Caesar?
Didn't he get got anyway?
Yeah.
Didn't he get taken down by like a plant too?
Who was it, Brutus?
I don't know.
I didn't read that shit.
I just acted like I did.
Lied.
Dylan?
What?
You don't got anything on this?
No.
None on that one.
Okay.
The peanut man.
Mr. Peanut, though.
You can just punt that thing across the room.
You can, but here's the thing.
That dude's clearly well off.
I mean, he's going to sue the shit out of you.
Not only is he going to sue you, but he's going to have 40 boys ready to come stomp you out.
Like wearing khaki shorts and shit.
What about the dude from Jack in the Box?
Is he on there?
No, he's not on there.
Oh, what's he look like?
I forgot.
He wears that like Deadmau5's hat.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Dude, Jack can take a punch.
It says his name's Robert on here.
He can take a punch, but he's not...
I don't think he's going to throw hands, really.
You don't know the fortitude of that head.
You're right.
It might be the fortitude of that head, he says.
Hey, with the church rabbit,
wasn't there like a video,
maybe it was a Family Guy episode
where the church rabbit just beats the shit out of everybody?
Do you guys remember this?
No.
The church rabbit's like,
or he's suicidal or something.
I don't know.
I'm gonna have to look that up.
It's two very different things.
It's one of the other.
Suicidal?
Yeah.
I don't know, man.
Family Guy did do the Chester Cheetah
It Ain't Easy Being Cheesy bit
where he does a bunch of lines
and then like punches the glass
and like just watches his hand bleed.
While blaring Rush, Tom Sawyer.
I mean, that's a great song.
He says, Neil Peart's the best drummer of all time, and he just punches the glass.
Oh, God.
Were you a Freaks and Geeks guy?
No.
Oh, they had a big Rush kind of undertones on their band.
Really?
Yeah, and it just turned 20.
They were a progressive rock band?
Yeah.
The last one I'll say.
Do you think you could beat up Cool Spot, 7-Up Dude?
What's he look like?
What's Cool Spot exactly?
He's kind of slick.
Oh, he's the little red dot.
Yeah, he's the little red dot.
Wasn't there a Sega game?
Yeah.
Yeah, that was fun.
It was honestly a good game. Yeah, I know it was. No, that game sucked. red dot. Wasn't there a Sega game? Yeah. Yeah, that was fun. That was honestly a good game.
Yeah, I know it was.
No, that game sucked.
No, okay,
don't act like you played it.
Yeah, Dylan, just stop.
Every game on Sega was trash.
Shut up.
That is such a bad take.
You arrive to Earth
like somewhere around
like 1997.
What?
What you got?
I just looked up
the Church Rabbit situation.
It's worth a YouTube search.
I won't explain what happens, but look it up.
Church Rabbit family guy.
It's hilarious.
If you say so.
Is he our, what's it, ombudsman?
Yeah, he's the WASH Media ombudsman.
I used to read those columns on ESPN for no reason.
Like, who gives a fuck?
I don't know.
Oh, we didn't cover this.
Wow. Cool. Being't cover this. Wow.
Cool.
Being journalists and shit.
Yeah.
I guarantee none of them ever did their column while holding a fucking blade in their hand.
It's probably true.
It's probably true.
Well, that was fun.
Do we have anything else on this?
Are there any mascots on here that aren't on here
that you want to kick their ass or no?
We didn't talk about the hamburger helper hand.
That's just weird.
It's just a creepy little guy.
I know.
Some of these you have to factor in, like how creepy they are.
How are you going to put the Quaker, what is it, Uncle Ben?
How's he easier to beat up than the hand?
Maybe he's just not a big Quaker guy.
It doesn't make any sense.
I've never encountered Quakers before,
so I don't know if I could take them.
They're pretty docile.
Yeah.
But still, you're talking about a hand.
You can just step on it.
That guy's pretty old, though.
Yeah, definitely.
He looks old as hell in that photo.
You could probably punch him out.
What's your move when you're lined up
next to the Gerber baby?
You have to just square up.
How are you going to find the baby?
Please do not ask me how I'm going to kill a baby.
No, I didn't say kill.
I just want to know.
It's on the thing here.
I'm not going to.
I'm going to nurture that kid and raise it.
Then he's going to end up kicking your ass when he's 14.
Yep.
That's how it's a long play.
It's the natural cycle.
The Gerber baby, yeah, it coaxes you into raising it and then all sudden
when once it's old enough he just beats the piss out of you damn yeah it's messed up
i don't think the quakers know that's who are the pacifists i don't know who are the ones that
drink a lot of pacific Pennsylvania that don't fight or like don't believe in war is that
quakers i think that's quakers isn't it oh then that's probably the deal. I think I mixed up a couple of them.
It didn't matter.
Cool.
Brett, what do you got?
Nothing.
I was trying to comment on the Quaker situation.
Quakers believe that war and conflict are against God's wishes.
Amen.
That's per Google.
I can get behind that.
Chill, dude.
I feel like Brett had the most knowledge about Quakers.
Were you a Quaker?
No, my family's a Puritan family coming over back in the day.
Wow, big Puritan family.
Yeah, big Puritan family.
I don't know.
That's all I had on that.
What were the Puritans about?
They were like the 1600s.
They were that the Bible,
I think the Bible should be taken extremely literally.
It was kind of their deal.
Yeah, they were like super, they were, they were like super,
they were Protestant,
Protestants is what it was.
Hell yeah.
Let's just talk religion
the rest of the time.
You want to?
What's like your favorite one?
Let's move on.
There's a song that I play
at Wilman's lot.
It's called
Love is My Religion
by one of the Marlies.
I thought that was REM.
Losing my religion?
No, that's losing.
Yeah, come on, dude.
That's at my other bar.
What's it called?
It's just an 80s underground bar.
I used to own some REM CDs.
The name changes every bar.
It's my first ever CD item.
It was one of my...
You have to have a password to get in.
You remember the 12 CDs for a penny?
This week, it's just clicking.
Oh, yeah.
I did.
REM was on that one.
That's tight.
Do you remember like CD racks in your car?
Yes.
And you'd have just like a book of 150 CDs?
Dude, I had a five disc changer in my jeep
cherokee it got rm was probably in there at some point but it had the thing and popped out and it
like switched and it took like 30 seconds yeah it broke like every other week jammed yeah i think
rm's one of the more overrated bands. I won't argue with you on that.
I look back and they had some songs in the 90s.
I'm not saying they're bad.
I think they're so highly overrated though.
I don't know.
I did give them a chance when I was younger
and maybe I just didn't get it at that point.
Maybe I need to revisit.
I could see you listening to Shiny Happy People a lot.
I don't even know what I listen to.
That was good fred
hey do you want to talk about your super real quick i think we probably should somewhat new
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see no we got up in there.
Okay.
I don't think we did.
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Hell yeah.
Are you happy with them?
I've tried many of them.
Really?
Yeah.
I have only one.
I think you
might have stockpiled some which you know you need it the most so i get it no i got the sample pack
you guys got like the full packs of certain kinds okay okay that makes sense that's what happened
okay pretty convenient this guy who received the package also super convenient that i let you guys
pick and you both picked and i was like i don't know what you're talking i was left with what you didn't pick so yeah okay well you can see how much we want it considering the fact that
i'm a little annoyed that dylan has them all but yeah dude it's hard eating the right amount of
fruits and vegetables it is it really is it is and uh hey look when you get to be dylan's age
it becomes important yeah you need the super green mix, it sounds like. Sometimes I just want some energy, so I just mash that matcha mix.
Fucking matcha man Randy Savage over here.
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Wow.
Semi-new sponsor.
See, you were dogging on that when we said it earlier.
You were jealous that you didn't get to say it.
I was Will.
I literally started doing it.
No sponsor.
Man, I think I got to be in for Halloween, I think.
Big Tex?
Yeah, I got to be Big Tex.
Do I have to hold my hand out like this the whole time, though, like he does?
Yeah.
How is it?
Keep it a little down there, Adolf.
Don't put that mental image in our listeners' heads, man.
Jeez.
Cowboy always gets play.
Cowboy always gets play.
Like, that's a good costume.
That's like going as like Brandon Lee, like from The Crow,
or going as The Crow.
Isn't he sponsored by Dickies?
Doesn't he have like a Dickies shirt on?
That means it's cheap.
Just go down to Levine's or whatever, get some Dickies.
Go down to where?
Levine's. Levine's? Is that how some Dickies. Go down to where? Levine's.
Levine's?
Is that how you say it?
What the fuck are you talking about?
Oh, it's a store right where we used to get our Dickies.
Oh.
I used to listen to Limp Bizkit, so.
Yeah, no, dude.
You should definitely do that.
Okay.
Yeah.
What kind of facial hair is he working with?
I don't know.
You can just pull it up.
You have Google right in front of you.
That's fair.
You should go to...
You should...
But, like, your big thing is, like, you, at the end of the night, change costumes,
and you just douse yourself in gasoline and light yourself on fire.
You go as Flaming Big Tex.
Okay, here he is.
He's clean-shaved.
Oh, don't...
No, no, no.
You don't want me to do that, do you?
No.
You're scared of me.
Oh, I don't need to pull up a YouTube video.
Okay.
Oh, here's a video of him on fire.
Big Tex, if you're new here, is the, I guess you could say he is the mascot of the State Fair of Texas.
He's a rather large fella.
This is when he caught on fire
and burned down.
Good stuff.
Well, did he just drop a fire track somewhere?
Yeah, someone handed him the ox cord
and it got too hot.
He spit some bars.
Yeah.
Some Kendra Roy bars.
More on that later.
Dave, what are these next-door power ranks
I've been hearing so much about?
Exactly like it says.
I think it's time to...
I'm going to do a from time to time chime in when I deem fit the official next-door power rankings.
Okay.
And...
What is next-door?
It's an app.
I have it.
It's an app that allows you to connect with your neighbors in your neighborhood.
Yours is so much better than mine.
Yeah.
I'm living more of the birds than you.
Mine is all just people trying to pedal weekend to ACL wristbands right now.
Like, it's terrible.
Yeah.
Linda needs a good oral surgeon.
Oh.
Ew.
Okay.
Well, I've decided to rank these.
Oh, someone's giving away free organic cucumbers in my neighborhood.
That is tight.
I've decided to rank these just to kind of finally settle the debate for once and for all.
And these are my official Q3 ratings.
This is quarter three.
I might do these quarter to quarter.
These are my official Q3 ratings.
This is quarter three.
I might do these, you know, quarter to quarter.
And the criteria here, it's not based on the veracity of the post,
the validity of the post, how relevant it is to the neighborhood.
It's more about edginess and engagement.
What really gets the people going next door?
Like people are like, well, coming out of the woodwork to chime in. People who don't ever comment.
A little polarizing,
controversial that,
that place here that I have,
I have one. And I want to,
after you do your power rankings,
I want to just ask where it would fit.
So go ahead.
Okay.
I bet it,
I bet it's on here.
It might be on here.
Yeah.
I actually guarantee it's on here.
Cause it's the one that I see the most.
No,
these are my top four.
Oh,
and I'm going to start at number four.
You ready?
We'll hit the drum roll
music.
Forget about it, cuh.
We got to get that one back when spooky season's
over. Number four.
Lost
dog post. Updated
because the dog
has been reunited.
Not that edgy. Gets a lot of love, I bet. But it gets a lot of Dog post updated because the dog has been reunited. Aww.
Not that edgy.
Gets a lot of love, I bet.
But it gets a lot of love.
Is it weird that when I see a lost dog post, I get like really sad?
And then when I see a lost cat post, I'm like, eh, the cat probably just didn't want to be with those people anymore.
I think that as well.
Have you seen the lost dog sign?
Well, cats are very independent.
Have you seen the lost dog sign up on the stop sign by the studio?
No, that makes me sad, though.
Sad?
What kind of dog is it?
I don't know.
It looks like a brown little feller.
Oh, man.
What's sad is that because we have the green belt so close to here,
a lot of dogs get lost because they run off in there,
so people put up signs around here.
You don't want to get your dog lost in the green belt.
No.
Coyotes.
Snakes.
Coyotes will get them.
Snakes.
Snakes as well.
Man, did y'all see a snake out at the ranch?
Not that I get sidetracked here.
Did you stomp that thing out?
My stepbrother killed it with a shovel.
That was a shovel?
Shovel.
Took his head clean off.
That's tight.
I was looking at the wound in the middle of the...
I thought he hit him with that slug.
Dylan tried to get an extra shot in to act like he did something.
I think he may have.
So he stabbed it with a pin.
I don't know if he got him on the first whack.
We might be looking at a couple whacks there. Okay. I thought for like he did something. I think he may have stabbed it with a pin. I don't know if he got him on the first whack. He might be looking at a couple of whacks there.
Okay.
I thought for sure he shot him.
Yeah.
About a four footer.
Dylan was trying to shoot him with a handgun.
That's all I had.
That's what I would have used.
So yeah,
look,
now I'm at the point where I want to go out and help these people find their
dogs,
but I'm always worried that like, going to pull over to get the dog,
and the dog's going to run off even further away.
You should do a video series called Bounty the Dog Hunter,
where you're just going out trying to find dogs, and your name's Bounty.
My name's Bounty?
Yeah.
That would probably do really well.
Probably would.
Imagine if you found one.
It'd be like electric television.
But I'm dressed as Big Tex.
Yeah.
That doesn't seem necessary.
It has legs.
No, but it's like, you know, it's Texas.
There's something there.
The authority figure wearing the cowboy hat.
Is it felt season?
You've got to have a trademark.
It's not felt season.
It's too hot.
I think it's officially felt season.
Is it?
Just like it's officially fall, even though it's 95 degrees outside. It's officially felt season. It's Stop felt season. It's too hot. I think it's officially felt season. Is it? Just like it's officially fall, even though it's 95 degrees outside.
It's officially felt season.
It's technically.
Right.
It's no longer gas station river cowboy hat made of straw.
It really sucks.
I've been thinking about getting a new hat for the cowboy trip.
I think I got one in mind.
A new fedora?
Just wait and see.
You're going to trade in the old fedora?
Just wait and see.
Damn, I was going to get a fedora. You really don't have to. I don't know. David, I'll. Dude, you're good. Like see you're gonna trade in the old fedora just wait and see damn I was gonna get a fedora
you really don't have to
I don't know
David
dude you're good
like you're good dog
okay
just wear your Spanish Oaks one
for the hundredth time in a row
it's fine
that's so rude
man
I'm just kidding
it's a tight hat
you did wear it Friday
did you
I like that hat
I'm kinda jealous
I got a new hat last week
and I wore it like four days in a row
what's up like legit four days no you didn't you saw me wearing jealous. I got a new hat last week, and I wore it like four days in a row. That's what's up.
Like legit four days.
No, you didn't.
You saw me wearing it.
It sucks getting a new piece of clothing that you love and not being able to wear it like four days in a row.
I wore it to our happy hour.
When did you get it?
Thursday.
That is a good-looking hat.
Yeah, I gave you a little compliment.
Shout-out to Triple D.
Major shouts to your hat.
Thank you.
What are we doing here?
Why is this number four?
Because it's happy?
It's good?
That's just where it, look, Will.
Don't ask.
Don't question my methodology.
Okay.
But yeah, no, look, because it, while it is,
I think it's the most heartfelt, it's not the,
it lacks an edginess.
Yeah.
And that hurt it in the long run.
Yeah.
Okay?
Okay.
Number three on my next door rankings.
And this fits in with what we just talked about.
Okay.
Snake identification.
Yes.
I love it.
And this is probably more of a South Austin thing.
This is definitely more of a Texas thing.
It's a Texas thing, but it's big in my neighborhood because there's a lot of you know green belt and a lot of trees
woods uh people finding snakes in or around their neighborhood in their backyard taking a photo of
it and posting it on there like hey what's this snake this is where it gets real edgy though okay
a lot of times people when
they see a snake they don't think twice they just killed the snake because it's a snake people are
scared of snakes in general and this is where you get the highest engagement you post a picture of
a rat snake that you you uh you shouldn't kill that thing oh and people will let you know yeah
why what you had just what you did was wrong yeah and
what the what purpose they serve in the ecosystem well while they do have good points like if i see
a snake i'm not a snake identifier i don't know what's good and what's bad it's just if i see a
snake it's gonna die if it's around my home especially see i'm a if i see a snake i'm running
right but if it's around your home and anything like that thing could
potentially be dangerous,
you've got to get rid of it.
I'm making a phone call, though.
You're making a phone call?
Who are you calling?
You don't know where it's going to be.
Can you imagine me
going up against a rattlesnake?
That's okay.
Yeah.
No, if you see a rattlesnake,
you should definitely run.
But imagine me going up
against a rattlesnake.
Rattlesnakes don't mess with you
unless they're being threatened.
I know.
You can walk up to it and just decapitate it pretty easily.
If you had a shovel like my stepbrother did or something like that.
If you step on it, they're going to bite you.
I'm just not a big snake decapitator.
But if they see a human and they're not posing like that,
they're just going to let you do your thing.
If you're laying out in your yard and there happens to be be one that sees you it's not gonna like go out of
his way to come like get you yeah i have like my foil like tanning thing out of my chest just
getting all the sun yeah a snake comes up he's like what up player if they do get you though
you're in a lot of trouble you need to get to the the hospital yeah call 9-1-1 immediately
asap what if it's a gardener snake and it's just trying to ask you a question about what
kind of mulch you want laid down?
It's like, hey, do you want the one
that smells like chocolate?
He's a zilliest man.
I think people really like to mansplain.
I don't know, is it even mansplaining?
They like to enviros.
I'm going to call it envirosplain.
Okay.
What the benefits of certain animals are.
Snakes being one of them, the rat snake.
But also spiders.
The spider ID is a big one too.
They'll tell you like,
because like me,
if I see a giant spider web in my backyard
with anything over the size of a,
probably a nickel, honestly.
Well, that thing's got to go.
I don't have time to do spider ID.
And people, if you post a photo,
like, oh, that's just an orb weaver.
Very beneficial.
And they'll tell you this.
They like to go,
and they clearly just went and searched on the Bing app or whatever.
Everyone's on Bing right now.
They'll go post the fun facts,
the bullet points of this spider,
and why they're beneficial.
In reality, though, most people are just killing the spider.
Yeah, that's different.
The snake, the rat snake thing, though, I don't know if I if I found a rat snake in my backyard.
Probably not.
I might call 311 and see if they could like relocate it.
This comes up a lot when people find indigo snakes because they're very intimidating looking.
They're black.
They're big and they're black and they just look like they can really fuck you up indigo snakes are those
the ones that when they bite you you get really like tired and you just want to go to sleep and
play video games no those are the ones that play like the lilith fair i don't get the reference
here okay i'm sorry but uh they uh they're harmless to people and they think they eat like you know critters rodents and stuff like that so like you know they're harmless to people, and they think they eat, like, you know,
critters, rodents, and stuff like that.
So, like, you know, they're cool to have around.
But they look like they could really mess you up.
What's the one that looks like the coral snake?
But it's, like, the red and yellow are, like, switched, so it's confusing?
Yeah, I'm not sure.
That's a problem.
How do you switch stripes?
I feel like a coral snake will fuck you up.
That's a deadly snake.
And that's a problem here in Austin.
Coral snakes will get you.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
You know the steam sound effect
could also work
for the snake.
Kind of.
You're right.
I'm not good with IDing
like pretty much any
critters
as you would say.
Insects.
Snakes.
I'm not either. That's never been an interest of mine.
Mischievous, potentially dangerous little tiny
things. I'm not very good at.
Mischievous, yeah. Number two.
And this,
if you live in the big city, you'll
be able to relate to this,
but this is particularly hot button
in Austin.
Homelessness. Yeah. That'll rile these people up oh boy this is like uh you ever see one of those videos like those world star
videos where people just come out of the woodwork just throwing haymakers and then somebody throws
a chair from off off screen yeah that's what this is you've got stay at home mom karen just really
showing her true
colors oh hell yeah talking about homelessness so i had one i had a post yesterday it's in it's in
uh oh yeah it's in here right now it's entitled homeless garbage dump i'm gonna read just the
first line first line's epic so epic today we went out to eat at the Olive Garden on South Lamar. Fuck yeah.
And while passing by Central Market, I noticed people living under a bridge.
I knew immediately that this was popping off.
First of all, you have Olive Garden, guy who goes to Olive Garden on Sunday.
I know exactly who these people are, by the way.
Really?
Yeah.
I'm very familiar with the community at this point.
Oh, okay.
I see these people every day.
Yeah.
community at this point oh i see these people every day yeah well this has popped off into like over 70 comments which is a lot for my neighborhood um and to be fair this post it wasn't super like
they didn't use derogatory terms for the homeless okay it wasn't super offensive
but the comments,
oh boy.
There's a lot of blaming the city council
on some new ordinances
that were passed
that allows people to,
I guess,
build these camps
on public property
as long as they're not
interfering with like
roadways or walkways.
But yeah,
homelessness under the bridge
on 290,
kind of near where we all live,
is a problem.
Like they all live
under that bridge.
I had a woman who was complaining about this on my next door and she was complaining about
the homelessness issue right there.
And she was just really letting them have it.
And then somebody in the comments was like, you know, like these people are going through
a lot of stuff.
They need some help, blah, blah, blah.
And so people started shaming her for being so overtly rude to them.
And then she tried to fire back and she's like, I bring them a hot meal once a month,
blah, blah, blah.
And everyone's like, no, you fucking don't.
Like, stop.
You don't do that.
Like, there's no way you do that.
You can't complain this much about them and then act like you walk down there with like
a Stouffer's lasagna.
Like, I'm sorry.
You're just not doing that, lady.
Can you imagine?
Well, if you're homeless and someone walked out with a lasagna.
A Stouffer's lasagna.
You're going off.
That's exciting.
I'm about to eat that.
I'm about to be in a carb coma.
Yeah.
Yeah, so you get people from all sides here talking about the root causes of homelessness.
You get some statistics, which I love stats.
Go to the NextGen stats.
Numbers don't lie.
No, they don't.
I love it.
But then you get some people who just misrepresent certain things.
And it's like, that's clearly not true.
And then the people who want to say that, oh, and it's like that's clearly not true.
And then the people who want to say that, oh, well, this town,
Austin's turned into Seattle or San Francisco.
You know, in San Francisco, they're taking dumps on the side of the street and stuff on sidewalks.
I'll take Seattle's climate over this climate right now.
If there's a marine layer, count me in.
Oh, yeah.
Well, there's one on South Congress if you want to go shop.
Yeah, what is that?
I think it's like overp Congress if you want to go shop. Yeah, what is that? I don't know.
I think it's like overpriced beachy clothes.
Oh, okay.
They have some cool looking stuff, actually.
They do.
It's just, I remember...
I know this because my phone listens to me say Marine Layer,
and I get served ads on Instagram all the time now.
Dude, I might hit that up before comment.
Oh.
Bitch.
So you got Dylan over here talking about his little hat thing.
They have like a...
I cannot wait to stunt on your ass.
I see a lot of...
I mean, obviously, they're pushing their fall stuff right now,
but I don't know how beachy it is, like Will said.
I think it's more like a...
Dude, shut up.
Why don't you just go in there and settle it for us?
It's like Pacific Northwest clothing.
Oh, okay.
So it's like going to PacSun.
No, Pacific Northwest.
Not like... By beachy, I didn't mean like surf tracks to Paxon. No, Pacific Northwest. Not like...
By beachy, I didn't mean like surf tracks.
I don't know what Paxon is.
I meant like clothes that people who hang near beaches wear.
Okay, Will's dialing it back a little.
People who hang near beaches but aren't actually on the sand?
It's like people who live inland.
No, it's like San Francisco where you go to the beach,
but it's a little too cold to swim,
so you just kind of sit on the beach and drink a beer beer so like cover-ups and stuff yeah and like quarter zips
like like like my uh like my oatmeal shirt i think that qualifies it's like beachy it's like
beach town nah man i don't know nah like come on i don't know if your oatmeal shirt's beachy
i think you're 100 maybe you're confusing it with billabong no i'm definitely not oh hey i got a buddy
this dude from high school he had a billabong shirt he was super into surfing because his family
was from north carolina and they would do like their you know three wave three foot wave surfing
there so he was like the surfer dude and when i grew up with he's a good dude but he used to
wear billabong and on one of his shirts, he made the L,
he drew a D in between the L and the A,
so it said Billabong.
Oh, what a bad boy.
He smoked weed.
It was tight.
Hey, I just went to MarineLayer.com
and clicked shop all.
The second t-shirt is just a bear surfing.
So I'm going to,
I'm going to,
let me see.
It's just,
it's like the California bear.
That sounds tight.
On a surfboard.
And so I just want to go on record saying that like Beachy...
Oh, that's a great shirt.
Beachy is...
I was right.
I don't think...
I don't think so.
We should get in a second argument about Marine Layer.
Let's go there after this and go live.
We'll go live from Marine Layer.
That sounds like electric content, David.
Number one on my next door rankings,
and this is all time.
This is my favorite.
Suspicious person post.
This brings out the worst in everyone.
There's so many intentional undertones that get brought up. A lot of racist undertones in this one.
Profiling.
Yes.
Just general people with too much time on their hands.
People who don't, I don't know, like us,
who work from home for the most part.
Just looking for something to do.
Kind of peeping their head around the curtains.
Sure.
So we have a park in our neighborhood.
And that's a hot spot for, quote, suspicious people.
And anytime there is one,
even one that doesn't even have any undertones
on why this person was suspicious,
it still brings out people wanting to be like,
Oh,
like passive aggressively call them out.
It's just,
it's,
it's passive aggressive heaven.
It's unbelievable.
My favorite.
Now that we have like the doorbell cameras that are like,
I feel like every other house has a doorbell camera.
I have one that I just
haven't installed.
My sketchy neighbor
gave it to me
when he had to move out.
Oh, nice.
It kicked him out.
Oh, that neighbor?
Yeah.
Yeah, he told me
he got arrested
and I was like,
man, I don't want to
live next to you.
Was he the one
that got arrested
when you were next...
Who was the one
that had the police situation?
Dude, the other one.
I don't know.
I've had these sketchy neighbors.
What's up with this? It's weird because you don't live in a sketchy place. I don't know. I've had these sketchy neighbors. What's up with this?
It's weird because you don't live in a sketchy place.
No, no.
But I've had on each side, I've had a sketchy neighbor that's lived there for like a couple
weeks and then had to move out.
Sally and I were just like walking around like, what's up?
What's going on with these people next door to us?
They're sketchy.
I feel like Austin leads the nation in like people who you wouldn't think are sketchy
because like they live in a nice place
but like are sketchy like people you know like they're in their uh they built a meth lab or
something it's like a trust fund kid who got bored and was like i'm just gonna build a fucking
meth lab in my apartment my name i was like standing there my neighbor's like yeah man
we gotta we gotta move out next week and i was like oh man i'm sorry like what's up like i was
thinking it was like a financial issue he's like yeah they found out i got arrested like three weeks ago so okay they're kicking us out and i was like oh man you really'm sorry. Like, what's up? Like, I was thinking it was like a financial issue. He's like, yeah, they found out I got arrested like three weeks ago.
So they're kicking us out.
And I was like, oh man, you really shouldn't have told me that.
Like, now I really want you gone.
Did you know his name?
No.
Oh, no.
He gave me, but when he was moving out,
he's like, here dude, you can have this,
this doorbell cam.
I'm like, I don't have a fucking doorbell, dude.
What do you think he got arrested for?
Dude.
Think he was moving weight?
Yeah. If I had to, if I had have a fucking doorbell, dude. What do you think he got arrested for? I think he was moving weight. Yeah.
If I had to guess what he was up to,
he was definitely doing something sketchy in the drug game.
You think they arrested him for lifting weights?
Yeah.
He's just going too heavy.
Yeah.
It's like, dude, you got to chill, man.
I imagine this dude, like, hey,
I could see him rolling with, like, Jesse's crowd.
Jesse!
Jesse Pinkman. Yeah. Did you see the new teaser that they's crowd. Jesse. Jesse Pinkman.
Yeah.
Did you see the new teaser that they did?
No.
Oh, another one.
Dude, they're just dropping hella teasers.
I'm teased out, man.
They got to just drop the episode.
This one has, I think it's Gopher Joe is his name.
The junkyard guy.
When does it come out?
October.
Yeah, early October, I think.
Okay, I think I'm going to watch the final season of Breaking Bad
ahead of it
you should
I was just going to do the final epi
I'm going to do the final season
the final season was so good
remind me how many episodes they are
69
wow that's a lot
see I don't want to
that's a lot of time to dedicate to it
I think it's like 8 episodes
yeah it's definitely not 69
they didn't do a 69 episode season
that'd be a record
I think
Jesse
Jesse Jesse yeah but with the uh 16 episodes with it really more
than i thought oh more than i thought and they're an hour correct yeah maybe i won't do that we're
getting dude we watch like five hours a week on the bachelor we can do this uh yeah but with the
rise they split it into two parts i'm sorry i forgot about that i'm not that makes sense i'm not gonna watch the first part of the split
i'm gonna watch the second part of the split okay with the rise of the doorbell cam people like to
go back and check the they check the tape we like to pull the tape they check the tape and every
every other week you'll get a post like hey i noticed this blue car is driven by my house twice
at a relatively low
speed.
Anybody else seen this?
You guys seeing this?
And people are like,
yeah,
it's probably just a driving to where it needs to go.
And then leaving just a slow drive.
Yeah.
Calm down.
I don't know.
It's pretty suspicious to me.
That's my favorite.
It's just like people freaking activity,
freaking out over just,
Hey,
I noticed this guy walked by my house last night.
Like that's it.
People go for walks.
Yeah, people do that.
And there's a park right there, too.
There is a park.
You shouldn't be at that park at night, though.
That creeps me out.
There's a law against that.
In a park at night?
There's like a park curfew, yeah.
You can't be in a park past like 10 p.m.
What about Kevin McAllister and that pigeon woman were at the Central Park, like, real late?
He was probably violating some kind of law.
She was probably also violating laws when he was trespassing and broken down buildings and throwing irons at dudes' faces.
Yeah, he probably can't do all that stuff, too.
How did he never get arrested?
Self-defense?
He stole that toothpaste, too, didn't he?
Or toothbrush or something.
Maybe.
No grand jury is going to indict Kevin McAllister.
He's a bad motherfucker too he's
too lovable looking do you think you could beat up kevin mcallister are you kidding dude the
colkins are very they're not built for uh combat none of the colkin brothers yeah but like there's
some brittle motherfuckers sicky bandits yeah but this is just hand-in-hand comment like i'm not
giving him like the if it's his territory if it's his home turf and he has time to plan for my arrival he's gonna take me out but if we're squaring up on the street
he's done yeah i mean yeah if you're an octagon with kevin mccallister you're obviously gonna
beat the shit out of him yeah but like if yeah if you're if you're sneaking into his house and
your mission is to beat him up if he has he's gonna smoke if he has irons and blow torches
and shit like that yeah he's gonna take me he would do his homework he would listen to this
pod and he would know the ways to fuck us up.
So like he would have like his Traeger going,
like his grill.
And I would like,
he knows I would walk over and like pop it up.
And it would just like explode
and like sear all the hair on my face.
Are those pecan?
Is that pecan smelling?
Like, what is this?
I'd have to go run and bury my head in the snow
to like put out the fire.
That's how he would get you with it.
That's how he gets me.
With a Traeger.
Yeah.
A booby trap Traeger. with what i feel like with you like um there's just like an easton laying on the ground yeah i pick it up take a couple hacks with it you take a
couple hacks but like he like fills it with cement so you can't figure out why you can't lift it
easily it's just like behind you and just smokes you like thor's hammer maybe it's tied to a string
and that triggers something that like falls on me.
It's like super glued to the floorboard
and then you just like fall in.
Oh, damn.
For me, he just leaves like a bunch of like
half-burned candles around with like extra long wicks
and I'm just like,
God damn it, Kevin.
Gotta cut all these.
Kevin, like,
okay, I'll do it, Kevin.
Like, fuck.
You like,
no, it's like a candle
and you like, oh.
And you go to like light it, but it's actually like a stick of dynamite.
Yeah.
And you just explode.
Underneath the coffee table is just like a big bomb, and I just explode.
Yeah, it sounds like you're getting the worst of it.
Yeah.
Yeah, Dave's out back just putting his head into the snow.
But I have no, but remember, all my hair is going to get singed off.
Your hand's like covered in barbecue sauce.
You're like, what do I do?
This is ridiculous.
Do we have a Sticky Bandits name?
The Fun Bandits.
The Party Bandits.
Party Bandits?
Okay.
The Circling Bandits has legs.
I like that.
Same guy with the Build-A-bunk shirt he had a giant
dog named bandit and i always thought that was a cool dog name pretty tight pretty tight oh do you
want to know speaking of dogs yes you want to know the one that i was going to mention on the next
door rankings uh yes dogs off leash oh yeah big problem and honorable mention did not crack the
top what's what's great about it is that there's two different things.
The people that like walking their dog off leash will say,
well, actually, your dog's more aggressive because it's on the leash.
But the people off of it are like, no, just fucking leash your dog
when you're walking out in public.
It's not that hard to figure out.
My issue with people who leave their dog off leash,
if I'm taking Randy for a walk and someone
who likes to just let their dogs roam around those dogs are going to approach randy yeah and not that
he's threatened but then he kind of goes nuts and he likes to you know and i'm just like he's being
held back he's being held back it's dangerous i just want to have a chill walk i don't want him
to like i don't want to make him sad that he can't play. Yeah. Yeah. I get the,
the people are right.
That dogs on leash will become more aggressive if a dog off leash,
like approaches them.
But like,
that doesn't mean you should unleash your dog.
There are certain dogs in my neighborhood that are fine off leash.
Like they don't feel the need to run up to every dog they see.
If I was,
if I was living in like Northern Michigan,
which sparsely populated walk
going for like a nice little country walk i would totally leave rosie off leash and let her run
through the woods like next to me austin though like if you live in a city nah at least your dog
so we may have to rehash the great the greatest touching base debate we've ever had. Frito Pies? No, beans and chili.
Or is chili soup or not?
No, it's the...
Don't look at me.
What?
Don't fucking look at me.
I didn't do anything.
Put the knife down.
No, the...
Should you drop your dog's poop bag
into your neighbor's trash can?
Ah, yes.
Because this came up,
not on Nextdoor, but on my Ring app.
We debated this?
Yeah, me.
It was y'all two versus me.
I said it wasn't the trash move that y'all say it is.
No, I said it.
Will was on your side.
Oh, were you?
No, that's a trash move.
Are you sure?
Yeah, that's a trash move.
I'm pretty sure I was alone on this.
But I had a bunch of backers back me up on it.
I felt like I was backed against a wall.
Maybe it's because it was the backers,
but maybe Will was on my side. I don't remember,
but this came up on...
If you pull the tape, I might have just been like,
I don't know, maybe I just wanted to hate
on you or something. I truly think that
it sucks and I hate doing it,
but you have to carry that bag of poop until you
get to your own trash can. Someone in
the Ring app, which is different from next door.
And it's anonymous.
You can comment in there.
There's a neighbor's news.
It's anonymous.
They posted a video from their camera and it's of a dude walking his dog,
but he doesn't.
So what I was thinking was when my trash is already out at the street for
trash day and after trash day,
then put it,
they walked it up to this person,
walked up in the driveway and put it up.
Like, so walked onto their property walked it up to the person walked up in the driveway and put it up. Like,
so walked onto their property,
technically trespassed and did that.
And it's all on camera.
And they posted the video and shamed this person.
And that's popping off.
Wow.
And it's,
it's very divisive.
That's honorable mention,
not next door per se,
but still in the same ballpark.
It works for me.
I don't think you should ever,
ever go up to somebody's door and do
that no you should you shouldn't walk up someone's driveway absolutely trash day and it has not been
picked up yet i'm gonna give you a pass oh then it's totally acceptable if if if it has it's not
totally it's a trash totally acceptable because if i see someone doing that to mine i'm like
hey dude come on and if done properly the poop is tied up in a bag,
so it's not like it's going to get all over your trash can.
It's not a big deal at all.
But if the trash can's empty, that's a little bit different story.
Guys, we're getting pissed on.
You also see the look on Dave's face when it starts raining outside.
He gets so excited.
I'm happy about this rain today.
Oh, we needed it.
Is it supposed to rain this afternoon?
You know your boy loves moisture.
I think it's going to rain until about early afternoon.
Y'all trying to squad up at my crib for the 2 o'clock Premier League game today?
Absolutely not.
Why, dude?
Brett and I watched a Man U Carabao Cup game the other day.
We had a blast together.
Will watched.
I faced the other way at my computer.
You looked around for the shootout.
Turn around for the shootout okay turn around for the shootout
you have to look at the shoot because the shootout i mean it was man you verse a i will they call it
a pub lead team that's kind of like the the twitter name for these teams yeah it might as well then
okay yeah they tried to lose they did their best to lose i'm gonna show y'all after this we may
have to get more content out of this i may may do an entire segment on this fight and do some best of comments.
Because there's someone in there,
it's like in the Ring app,
it says Neighbor 14,
because it's all anonymous.
You don't get to pick your username.
There's a guy in there
who's really backing the dude
who dropped the poop off.
And people were like,
wait a minute.
Sounds like the guy in this video is neighbor 14.
Yeah.
So I think,
yeah,
and it kind of makes sense.
What neighbor are you?
I've never commented.
I stay out of it.
I'm just an onlooker.
I'm the dude.
Get in there and mix it up.
I kind of like the idea
of just like having like numbers
that you hate.
Like,
dude,
fuck neighbor 14.
This guy's an asshole.
I'm the dude
holding my phone up
yelling,
uh,
next door.
Yeah.
Watch media.
So that's it. And stopped the ring if i come up with anything else i'm gonna let you know i don't check my next door up all that much uh but if i if i come up with anything because i
love seeing these arguments come out i'm more of a i'm more of a guy who looks at our like
i don't even know what you'd call it, community center thing online.
Your portal?
Yeah, where everyone's like, yeah, it's like where you pay your rent, but we still have a bunch of people just bitching about.
I call it the comm portal.
For community.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, like, we have people doing that.
And, like, most of the time it's just people trying to, like, sell shit that you don't want.
It's like, like nah i'm good
it's some dude is trying to peddle his daughter to like because she's proficient html css and
photoshop it's like dude chill how old is she this isn't a job posting she just graduated
congratulations to uh mark's daughter's kid a job yeah i was kind of thinking i was like you
know what if you're a front-end kind of thinking. I was like, you know what?
If you're a front-end kind of girl,
we've got a website you could possibly work on.
User interface?
Yeah.
We usually call that UI.
A lot of people don't know,
but I've got a tech recruiting background.
I don't think that's true.
Check the resume.
Wow.
What else we got?
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Dylan's sitting here with his blade.
These knives are sharp, man.
Scraping his...
What are you doing?
Look at that little bald spot I just shaved. Why are you doing
that? Why are you shaving your legs with a pocket knife
on the podcast? I want to see how sharp the blade was.
That's one way to check. Hey, this blade
has the official emblem. I always did it on my thumbnail.
What did I do on my leg, man? You scrape away the thumbnail
a little bit. That's weird.
It makes me cringe, man.
That's man shit. This blade has
the emblem. It says Texas Parks and
Wildlife Department.
I think this is one of those things where if you get pulled over or something
and you show this to the arresting officer,
they'll let you out.
It's like a get out of jail free card.
I never realized how...
They'll pull the knife out and show it to them.
Yeah.
I don't think that's the move.
Hey, no, officer.
Look at this.
Peep this.
I never realized how smooth the skin on my leg is, man.
It feels nice.
You should start shaving them.
Yeah, I will.
You were the dude in baseball that would shave his forearms.
No, no, no.
Yeah, you were.
I've never done that.
I can tell.
Why do you guys do that?
Makes your forearms look jacked.
I kind of like that.
They would do that and they would put lotion, baby oil on them.
Yeah, that's tight.
Yeah, they wanted to look like Mark McGuire.
Yeah.
Or Jose Canseco.
I don't want to look like Mark McGuire.
Yeah. Dave, feel how smooth this is, man. I'm not going to feel your McGuire. Yeah. Or Jose Canseco. I don't want to look like Mark McGuire. Yeah.
Dave, feel how smooth this is, man.
I'm not going to feel your upper thigh. Get your finger over here.
Get over here.
Feel it.
I want to look like David Justice.
That's not going to grow back.
Yes, it will.
It's hair, dog.
I bet you $5 that it's not grown back in two weeks.
Make it $6 and you got a deal.
$6.
Done.
Check it two weeks from today.
Okay.
I'm going to take a picture after the pod.
I'll show you, bitch.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm looking at it now. Yeah. Man, it feels show you. Let's take a picture after the pod. I'll show you, bitch. Yeah. I mean, I'm looking at it now.
Yeah.
And it feels so smooth.
It's tight.
Stop.
It feels like a girl's leg.
Okay, dude.
We get it.
Not that I've ever felt one before, but I would imagine.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm going to stop.
Feels like a girl's leg, he says.
Hey, can we do something that we kind of skipped over these past couple weeks?
Succession.
Because Dylan sucks. We did it last week. We kind of did it last week. We didn can we do something that we kind of skipped over these past couple weeks? Succession. Because Dylan sucks.
We did it last week. We kind of did it last week.
We didn't totally do it last week, I feel like.
I feel like we could have been better.
Dylan couldn't watch last week.
He was greasing up his forearms. Yeah, he was just
lathering his forearms up.
Just really slathered it on.
That's what Kevin McAllister would do to you.
There'd be a bottle and it would just say
forearm lotion and you'd be like, oh, hell yeah. And you'd go and'd be like a bottle and it would just say like forearm lotion. And you'd be like, oh, hell yeah.
And you'd go and it would actually be acid and it would just burn your arms off.
That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
That's what would happen to you.
He'd set up a tray of kombucha and then like he'd think that like Dylan would do it
because his gut biome is so trashed and then Dylan would just bypass it.
And then Dave and I would be like, oh, fuck, kombucha.
There's like a tab and it says nitro cold brew.
I'm like, oh, hell yeah.
Yeah.
I go, I pour it up and I drink it. It's like milk of the it says nitro cold brew i'm like oh hell yeah yeah i go i pour it up and
i drink it's like it's milk of the poppy i just die you're done oh man is that a game of thrones
reference yeah it is wow you familiar with this yep yep let's talk about succession real quick
uh last night's episode i'll be honest uh when i heard they were going to scotland i had much
higher hopes.
They didn't really utilize Scotland as much as I wanted them to utilize it.
Dundee.
I think I played with them in FIFA 2002 or something.
Who knows?
So Logan is from there?
That's where he grew up?
Yeah, I knew he was Scottish.
I didn't know that.
I didn't know that either.
Fuck with it, though.
Do y'all even watch the show?
No.
I know Dylan doesn't.
Dylan doesn't.
I do.
I'm Scottish, so I'm happy about that.
Me and Logan are somewhat the same.
Dude, I'm Scottish, too, man.
No, you're not.
Bitch, check my 23andMe.
I'm essentially Logan.
Okay.
Did you have to delete a tweet?
Yeah, I fucked up the names.
Oh, you called Kendall Logan.
Yeah, because I had Logan stuck in my head, L to the OG. I saw your tweet. yeah I fucked up the names oh you called Kendall Logan yeah cause I was
I had Logan stuck in my head
L to the OG
I saw your tweet
dude
I was expecting Logan
to rap at some point
while I was watching the show
I was too
sorry sorry sorry
I deleted it
I deleted it
I kept thinking
in what world
would Logan go up there
and start just laying down bars
cause I saw your tweet
while I was watching
the Cowboy game
and I was like
oh damn
what kind of spool
was probably gonna be
a good part
and then I was
watching and watching and I was pleasantly surprised, damn, Wilk House Spool was probably gonna be a good part. Then I was watching
and watching
and I was pleasantly surprised
when it was Kendall.
Which makes all the sense
in the world.
He did low-key crush that, though.
I apologize.
Oh, he absolutely murdered him.
He crushed it,
but it was still
the cringiest thing
I've ever seen.
He was wearing
that dumbass bow tie.
Dude is the OG.
Yeah, what'd you think
of his bow tie?
Oh.
How pissed were you
when you saw him wearing that?
God, I hate bow ties.
Unless you're wearing a tux. Was that a tux, though? No him wearing that? God, I hate bow ties. Unless you're wearing a tux.
Was that a tux, though?
No.
It was a suit.
I hate bow ties so much.
The rap, though.
It low-key went.
That's going to be in my spooky season intro for tomorrow.
L to the OG.
That is something that would really happen.
No, and that's what they said after the episode.
He's like, the reason we put this in was because we think that this is something
that some out-of-touch billionaire son would do.
It's so good.
I thought this episode was great.
Let me say this.
I was in a bad mood because I just watched the Cowboys offense go out
and lay a turd on Sunday Night Football.
Sunday Night Football is tough.
Because you lose on Sunday Night Football, it can really fuck up your week it sucks it ends your sunday in the worst
possible way especially in a game where it's like i mean it was there for you if you lose the noon
game you can get over that pretty quick and by by bedtime you're in a fine place but if you lose a
sunday night game like you just go to bed angry so i went into succession and i was already kind
of like bummed out.
I was like trying to clear my head, watch it objectively. It was like 1030.
And I have to say this episode,
and it could just be the Sunday night football hangover,
felt a little bit disjointed.
A lot of the storylines felt, I don't know,
like I didn't know what was going on.
I don't know.
See, I liked it.
I thought people were just going all over the place,
just like kind of all hands on deck, let's fuck over Rhea.
That being said, I didn't hate it.
Like, I think the ending kind of saved it.
The ending was great.
Not a chance in hell Rhea actually becomes CEO, right?
I think she does, and I think it backfires on them.
And all of a sudden, we have, because here... I think we have Rhea for a while.
This actress is an actress you want to be on your show for a while.
She's good.
She is good.
She handles really awkward, cringy situations very well.
Like when Kendall told her to toast Rose,
who is apparently, I guess, Logan's sister,
or some lady from his past.
And when he just sat down in his class, it's so awkward.
Yes.
What's the backstory there?
Why did it offend him so much or he didn't want to toast?
We don't really know.
Apparently, like, it's somebody from his past.
He doesn't like, you know.
Yeah, I was wondering if I missed up.
And Kendall set her up, obviously.
Yeah, which is a money move.
Yeah, he wouldn't even toast to Rose.
It would be like if we're doing a toast to Dylan.
And like, hey, toast to John Peterson.
God, that guy sucks.
Is he back?
No.
Dude, is he off social media completely?
I haven't seen him in a minute.
Man, that'd be too bad.
Unless I just unfollowed him
and I forgot that I did.
That could be it, naturally.
I think I had to unfollow him
after all of his political retweets.
Y'all's banter became
more and more aggressive.
Well, the thing that I liked about him most
was when we had him on our podcast
and then he immediately talked shit
about our podcast on Twitter
like right after.
Oh, did he?
Yeah.
Oh, that's not cool.
Yeah.
I was like, oh man, like I'm so psyched to promote this episode for you, dude.
I really want to elevate your brand a little bit.
I guess.
I mean, I'm kind of joking.
I'm kind of not.
The guy just sucks, man.
Yeah, John, that's right.
I said it.
Even though I don't think you're listening anymore.
Still on Instagram.
Oh, I don't follow him. Ooh. So I love in succession when we get Logan's right. I said it even though I don't think you're listening anymore. He's still on Instagram. Oh, I want to follow him.
Ooh.
So I love in succession when we get Logan's brother.
Yeah.
He's very aggressive.
Yes.
Makes me uncomfortable.
Telling Greg to quit was such a great little storyline.
I was like, I can't wait to see how Greg just gets all squirmy about this.
Okay, so assuming that Greg's...
Or I'm sorry.
Yeah, Greg's grandpa,
he obtained his fortune via Logan.
Yes.
Okay, so there was some kind of financial tie-in there.
I'd like to know more about that. I would love to know how that deal was scored.
Seriously, because if he's going to make you rich,
how are you going to have such bad blood against the guy?
For your grandchild to be standing to inherit $250 million,
that's crazy.
You have to assume there's multiple heirs potentially for him.
So I don't know.
I want to know more backstory on that.
But this dude's really aggressive.
I almost thought that storyline was a little bit unbelievable.
Like you're going to just come out of the woodwork and be like,
you need to resign.
Grandson who I don't talk to.
Interesting that as shitty as a person
logan is and he's pretty shitty he takes care of his family like he's got everybody so i did think
it was kind of funny how he compared him to hitler yeah i was like you know what like there's actually
a case to be made what you're saying is like actually kind of legit but at the same time like
but if he's gonna say all that shit's tainted and he's basically just like an evil dictator,
how are you going to accept his money?
Because he's a rich man because of Logan.
Yeah.
So how are you going to accept all that?
It's weird.
I thought...
But like, Logan's a bad person,
but he's not running this business
so that he can wipe out an entire race.
No, he just doesn't.
Whereas Hitler kind of did that.
That's how he ran his organization.
Right.
That's true.
Nazis.
It's very true.
I couldn't tell if Logan actually likes Greg or if this is like just not wanting his brother
who hates him to win.
Like this is like using Greg as like a pawn.
I think it's, I think it's both.
Probably.
How can you not like Greg?
I don't feel like Greg has much face time with Logan, though.
So, yeah, I think actually he might be right there.
Might just be jockeying.
Unpopular opinion.
I like Greg a lot more last season.
Oh, see, I'm loving Greg.
I don't like business Greg.
I like showing up wearing like...
Boat shoes?
You're going to an internship.
Wearing gold cups?
Yeah.
I like that Greg better.
I still like greg it's understood the it's understood that the that greg's grandpa logan's brother is the one funding
the the hit piece or the the lawsuit the the cruise situation right i didn't i thought that
was a possibility i don't know if that's,
I think that's gotta be it.
I assumed it was either him or the,
the,
his nemesis that's trying to conduct a takeover of the company.
I think it is him because he mentioned that and he,
there's no way that he should have knowledge of the crew situation being who he is.
Right.
And he immediately started talking about that toward the end of the
episode.
And he was like,
this isn't going away.
Or he said something, I don't know.
Oh, yeah, I didn't think up on that.
I think he's 100% funding it.
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
He's got the money for it.
Unless they offer more than $250 million,
what if they just offered him a billy,
got a billy off for a bribe?
That'd work for me.
I think what happens is that rea becomes a ceo somehow weathers the
storm of this cruise situation perfectly and then all the kids are like how do we unseat this this
woman like what do we do you're gonna say this bitch weren't you no no i like i actually like
rea i think she is uh no i think she is scheming i think she's that bitch but yeah i like her
one of the reasons i like her I think she's that bitch. But yeah, I like her.
One of the reasons I like her is because she's
Mrs. Incredible.
She is.
What was she doing for Pierce
before they kicked her out
for scheming?
She was in the C-suite.
I'm not sure what she was doing.
C-O-O or something like that.
She was a higher up.
Didn't you go to C-suite
this weekend?
You didn't go to like a game
or something?
Never mind.
David.
I'm sorry.
Put down the knife.
Yeah, put the knife down, Dylan.
Stop shaving your legs, dude.
We're going to lose the backing of the Texas Department of Wildlife.
No, I think we're okay.
Parks and Wildlife, I should say.
Hey, dude, shout out to Parks, your son.
I know, right?
Hey, Dave, shout out to Parks, your son. I know, right? Hey, Dave, shout out to Parks, your son.
What?
He's your son, too.
Oh, okay.
It's like, fuck, do I have a son?
Not that you know of.
He's my godson.
Parks is my godson.
The homie that's Dylan's son is my godson.
Dylan officially had me go to the ceremony
and become Godfather to the party.
Thanks for doing that, Dave.
It's tight.
That was fine.
I didn't get invited to the ceremony.
I love being his guidance.
Well, it's not really the role of the Godfather,
but thank you for being there.
Well, you know, it's fluid.
Okay.
Can I say this about what happened last night?
Shiv has really sucked all season.
And she actually is the only person right now who has a sound outlook at the situation in front of them.
I like that she's backing into a corner.
I like that.
I think if she wants to dig in, she got too comfortable for most of the season.
And now she gets to dig in and actually fuck some people over. And i think she's got it in her to do it i mean coming from politics
she knows how to do this what do you think okay you're the soccer guy this oh yeah yeah this
soccer uh acquisition the hearts are these these real teams uh i believe so i'm not really familiar
with the scottish league i know dundee does have a team and but like rangers uh like they i assume hearts has a team yeah
they're not gonna make that up yeah they have it okay that was that was hilarious when
it's always been weird to me about the wrong team about the wrong team yeah it was great it's great
that he bought the wrong team um it's tight that you just it's so tight to just buy a team when you're sitting at a bar.
But they have so much money that Logan's like,
he didn't even face him.
He's like, yeah, it's the wrong team.
And then he just went on to the next thing.
Like, how much money do these people fucking have?
Well, how much?
I don't know.
What's their company value at?
Dude, Creepy Kendall is the worst, by the way.
When Kendall starts getting ass and starts, like,
talking about getting pee and stuff
and yeah when he's talking to connor about yeah pervy kendall something behold it's so it's so
uncomfortable how about him sending her home without even saying bye okay what triggered that
her just sucking and realizing that she's definitely she definitely bombed in front of
logan no it's gonna be awesome though this is awesome this is so awesome that's something i've
definitely said to someone who was like important like i've definitely like choked i mean like
this is just so so great or like you know to like a father you're meeting for the first time
and a girl you're dating you just bomb that's that's what that felt like i did enjoy him just
standing in the doorway being like sorry man she can't go back yeah that was weird
i mean he he doesn't care about that fucking play if anything he probably gets like joy out
of the fact that uh what's his face his play is bombing connor yeah you need to see more on that
play i need to see more of connor i thought connor's presidential run was going to be kind
of a funny little like side side project project. I'm fine without Connor.
Oh dude.
Connor's great.
All right.
I feel like they don't know what to do with them.
Yeah,
I agree.
I feel like they know they've got a good character.
I just don't feel like the writing is there for him yet.
He gave us what I think is the best line of the season so far.
And the hyper to can't.
Well,
yeah,
that's true.
That's a great point.
Put down the knife.
Sorry.
We can't all three be doing it.
Why?
We can't have these in the stew from moving forward.
No, we need to leave the stew immediately.
I will say we are the podcast, the number one podcast that you do not want to F with when it comes to a knife fight.
I agree.
You got to think, yeah.
I mean, these are legal to carry, I believe.
They have a little belt clip thing.
You can slide it under the jeans, and we keep these things on us.
Do you know what I do when I get in a knife fight to really set the tone?
I open my knife, and then I stab myself in a fleshy part of my body real quick
just to show that I can do it, and then I attack him.
What fleshy part of your body?
It changes time to time.
It depends on what my last knife fight was if it was like a week ago i can't just like stab myself
in the eye again you know dylan just pops it open like pulls his shorts up a little bit and just
starts like shaving his leg with it yeah it really freaks people really like a creepy bond villain
who just like slowly shaves his legs with a knife i gotta come come feel this, though. It's fucking cool. I don't think we're gonna feel it.
I think we're good.
I think we're good.
I'm all set with that, but I do have three pieces of breaking news as the podcast has
been going on here.
Let's go.
Holy shit.
Three?
A little choose your adventure here.
I'll leave it up to you guys.
Do you want NHL, NFL, or Netflix?
Ooh.
Ooh.
I'm gonna pass on the NHL.
Yeah.
It's really not my thing. What is the Vegas Knights though?
Unless it's the Vegas Knights
It's not
It's NHL as a whole
What's like the dopest story?
Probably the Netflix one I think
Netflix officially announces that
Stranger Things will return for a fourth season
That's big
And the tagline is we're not in Hawkins anymore
Oh let's go to Chicago With 11's creepy-ass family.
Oh, God.
That was terrible.
How old are these kids going to be when that comes out?
25.
Yeah.
How old's 11 now?
11.
I have no clue.
I don't know.
14?
They're going to be able to drive next season, right?
In real life, how old is Bobby Millie or whatever? Millie Bobby?
She's like probably 16,
17. Okay.
What do you guess?
15. 15.
Sorry, Dylan.
Take that back right now. I said sorry.
Take it back. I take it back.
Put down the knife and I will take it back.
Dylan's not Drake.
Drake Drake Drake
what's the NFL news
what did Drake do
NFL news
Vontaze Perfect
suspended for a year
for that hit
for his hit
yesterday
you know what
he's one of the
he's the dirtiest player
in the NFL
absolutely
you guys are disgusting
man
fuck that guy
disgusting
disgusting
what did Drake do though
did Drake have like a he everyone thought he was
getting a little creepy hanging out with millie bobby brown too much oh was he really and then
like he has like lyrics that like people just started like taking out of context and applying
it to her and it was just like hilarious that's odd it was gross what's okay what's the nhl news
nhl news this is what we want listen to this The NHL this afternoon will announce a two-year partnership with Green Day.
Match that hype horn.
That is going to bring a new anthem similar to what the NFL had with Hank Williams on Monday Night Football.
Man, I feel like we're good.
I feel like we're good here.
I don't think anybody's doing Green Day anthems for the NHL.
The NHL marketing department is historically just horrendous in general, but
that's a miss for me.
Yeah, Green Day. That sucks.
I don't hate... Look, here's the deal.
I don't listen to New Green Day. I haven't...
Even on like American Idiot
and all that, I never was into that. I stopped
after Boulevard of
Broken Dreams. What was the album after Dookie?
That's where I stopped it. I don't know.
Was it Kirk Monk? American Idiot? No stopped it. I don't know. Was it Kurt Punk?
American Idiot?
No, it was before American Idiot.
Not important.
But no one needs this.
No.
Green Day is not like a young, relevant band
that's going to win over the audience
that they're looking for.
And I don't even know if they have
the nostalgia factor, too, I guess.
It's going to be some new type of Green Day shit. I don't find any of the members of that band to be all that likable
like when i see that's very cool when i see them i'm just like you guys are kind of you know stuck
in your old ways i don't know they also have to be pushing like 40 years old right yeah they got
me didn't they have a broadway show made after yeah they doubled down on the american idiot
thing it was huge for them that's good i mean dude cash in when you can i guess but they definitely could be considered
sellouts in my opinion real big fish did it first they did tell me i'm wrong. Show me the lie. Is it weird?
I heard someone talking about this.
I don't know who to give credit to.
But the fact that Hank Williams Jr.,
they're still using that song.
And he's pretty controversial.
Like, he said some really fucked up things.
Hank Jr.?
Yeah.
Well, Hank 3 is, like, the most controversial, right?
I think he's just a wild ass.
I've heard,
I've heard Hank three shows are like,
can't miss shows.
I heard that's a show we don't go to unless we keep our,
I actually,
so I actually had a,
I had tickets to a Hank three show in San Francisco once.
And,
uh,
because some people had to back out at the last second,
I would have had to go alone and I decided against it.
I cannot see you at a Hank 3 show.
Dude, I was ready to fuck shit up. Yeah.
No, you weren't. Yeah.
Always.
All his rowdy friends are coming over tonight, though.
Yeah.
What's the Genesis halftime show tonight? Does anybody know? Not sure.
Can't wait, though.
I think it might be Ariana Grande
Meet Me in the Middle.
I am happy. I am very happy about the Super Bowl halftime show.
J-Lo and Shakira?
That's fire.
But no Pitbull in Miami?
If you think that Pitbull is not making a guest appearance, you're crazy.
He's going to be in the building.
He's going to be on the stage.
100% Pitbull.
This is going to be a very,
I can't wait.
Give me all the Latin performers
on stage at this.
I can see Camila Cabello
getting at it at the last second.
I heard somebody on the radio
pronounce Camila Cabello
as Camitha Cabedo,
like trying to do
with the Ibiza thing.
And I was like,
what are you doing?
Is that right?
Yeah.
No, it's not.
Yeah.
I don't think
doing the L's like
I mean it might be right
like I don't know.
Ibiza Z's.
I don't know how
I don't know.
Holy shit.
I got breaking news.
What?
The Genesis halftime show
tonight.
Monday Night Football.
Dylan.
John Party.
No shit.
Made that up.
Not true.
You son of a bitch.
You were way too happy
about that.
You just dropped a new album, by the way.
I haven't heard it yet.
Yeah, when I click into...
But it's got to be Flames.
When I click into Spotify on my computer,
it's like the banner at the top of Spotify
is just a big John Party photo,
and it makes me really sad.
You got to think it's Flames.
I don't know, man.
That's all he makes.
John Party would be a cool name for your buddy
who's a cokehead.
Oh, John Party. Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah who's a cokehead. Oh, John Party.
Oh, yeah, dude.
Yeah, he's partying.
Fuck.
I know where John is.
Partying?
He's partying.
Huh.
Doing cocaine.
Wow.
Yeah.
Should we get out of here?
Yeah, I've got to.
Before we do, I want to give a special shout out to a very old time sponsor of ours, Fulton & Rourke.
You guys, you know what they are by now. I mean, they got everything. If you're trying to get fresh, Fulton and Rourke. You guys, you know what they are by now.
I mean, they got everything.
If you're trying to get fresh, Fulton and Rourke is the place to go.
21 Body Watch just goes so hard.
Wax-based colognes.
They got a sample pack going right now.
You guys know that?
They do, yeah.
If you buy a solid cologne sample pack right now,
which I would highly recommend doing if you're not sure of which scents you want.
Yeah, if you're not sure, you can't smell unless we actually have it in your hand you gotta you gotta try them
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sample pack but if if you get the solid cologne sample pack you get a bar of soap for half off
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i still want to know i still want to know who at the company was like,
doubles not enough.
Apparently someone suggested they mill it a fourth time
and that guy got fired.
Really?
They're like, you're out of control.
He was probably stepping on the toes of the guy who said third.
And he's like, dude, come on.
The guy who said third is a hero at that company.
Some intern wunderkind thought that he could go through
with a fourth mill.
And they're like, dude, stop.
Oh,
he's jobless.
Yeah.
Dude.
Our margins are already terrible on these.
Cause like we're milling it so many times.
Yeah.
Did you drop the promo code circling back,
circling back one word.
Yep.
Circling back.
We get the half off,
uh,
the triple mill bar soap.
If you purchase the solid cologne sample,
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Uh,
guys,
we will catch you tomorrow on spooky season on patreon
patreon.com circling back podcast it's part of the optimized tier if you're optimized you not
only get uh spooky season but you also get access to all the friday episodes all the previous
episodes can you imagine just having like you just get optimized you just sign up for patreon
then you're like oh oh, I have 37
list of voicemail episodes
that I can listen to.
That's huge.
That's days worth of content.
Yeah.
Still recording.
Yeah.
Tight.
Yeah.
Dave just got a tinky break off.
Amid ad reads,
sorry Fulton and Rourke,
shout out to you.
Dude, I get it.
Once I hear Fulton and Rourke,
the first thing I want to do
is just run into the bathroom
and try to get fresh.
Yeah.
I was doing something else. Oh, okay. Gross. All right, let's first thing I want to do is just run into the bathroom and try to get fresh yeah I was doing something else
oh okay
alright let's go
I had to pee
bye