Circling Back - Pinching Weenuses & Bit Madness Sweet 16

Episode Date: March 27, 2024

Dillon may be purchasing an El Lizardente, Sydney Sweeney not drinking coffee after sleeping for only two hours, the hippie singer all over everyone's timeline, pinching weenuses with the boys, Bit Ma...dness's much-anticipated Round of 16, This Weekend in Fun, and more. Enjoy a free one-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback  Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop  (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (20:09) Sydney Sweeney Red Flags? (31:45) Hippie singer that’s all over the TL (40:00) Bit Madness, Sweet 16 (1:03:30) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) Naked Wines: www.nakedwines.com/steam (enter STEAM for both the code AND password to get 6 bottles of wine for JUST $39.99 with shipping included) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 all right we're back circling back podcast right in the thick of bit madness, baby My name is will defreeze number one fan of the dookie To my left hello the crime dog David Rolf big stretch from day big stretch Get it My freaking brackets busted what yeah It's not good. I'm sorry low-key we should have another year we should have done a bracket challenge with the backers i don't know why we don't do that yeah missed oppo i made a
Starting point is 00:00:52 bracket and entered it into exactly zero pools because i got exactly zero invites i said oh that wasn't really a bracket no no It was a little bit more complicated. I have to do it on ESPN. Yeah. And I won't do, I'm not going to do CBS. I'm not going to do something else. Like I have to do it on ESPN and I need the direct link to that invite. Yeah. I've been a loyal ESPN guy for a while now.
Starting point is 00:01:17 Although I will say it's, they don't make it quite as easy to navigate to your bracket. You have to click a couple times. I just want to like pop it open and get it. I downloaded the app solely for my bracket so I can just see how I'm doing in the void. Okay. And? I'm doing okay.
Starting point is 00:01:37 I was nearly flawless after the first two days. Okay. No. I had four matchups I did not pick correctly. You missed four games after the first two days? I think so. I think it was four. That's extremely impressive.
Starting point is 00:01:50 It was an extremely good bracket. I was in the 90s of percentile. Sheesh. And by the end of the weekend, I was in the 50s for percentile. Purdue is still alive. I've been calling them Purdue because I have no faith in them. Who's that big dog they got? Edie.
Starting point is 00:02:07 Zach Edie. Zach Edie. Weird looking fella. I'm not calling him anymore. He's very tall. I did see someone talking ahead. Maybe it was Jason Williams. Jason Derulo, I think.
Starting point is 00:02:18 They said, no, it wasn't him. It was saying, we should double the amount of teams for the tournament. Why don't we just make it every single college team? So everyone gets in, basically? Almost. If you think about it, it is every single team, considering every team has a chance to get in the tournament from day one of the season.
Starting point is 00:02:37 It's just not a tournament style. If you think of it like that, yeah, tournament starts day one. That's what I'd tell my players if i was walking into the locker room tournament starts today it's march right now it's kind of facts makes me miss the dough match play i don't want to talk about that man what a good turn genuine austin original that was good it was it was a fun time it's really cool to be a part of the announcement that it was gonna go away even though we already knew it yeah oh yeah he told us that he's like it's official it's going away we were though we already knew it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He told us that. He's like, it's official. It's going away.
Starting point is 00:03:06 And we were like, we already knew that. We witnessed history. And then they gave us a big Yeti bag that's almost unusable. I don't know what to use this Yeti bag for. It's a good gift to your father-in-law. Have you tried to? That's a good idea. Do I have the tags on it?
Starting point is 00:03:18 Yes. Have you tried to pull items out of that bag? Dylan, I haven't tried to put items in the bag yet. It's so difficult. I've been sleeping in the bag. Oh, really? Mm- really? I don't think it's a sleeping bag. Is everything going okay at home? No, I'm just straight up in my bag. Oh, I see. It's a nice bag. I was excited to receive it. I'm excited to use it at some point in my life. Quality is unmatched. But I just don't know what I'm going to use this giant ass backpack for. I saw some dude in the airport rocking one
Starting point is 00:03:42 one day and I was like, oh, that's the bag I have. Maybe I should do that. And as I saw him walk by our gate, I was like, this guy's going through with this backpack. This is not a comfortable backpack. Yeah. If anyone needs a completely waterproof duffel slash backpack, I may give you mine. I mean, I just don't know what I'm going to use it for. It's in the crangler color as well. Yeah. And it's a craangler color inherently fratty very friendly speaking of inherently fratty dylan shivery so my son parks he uh wrote a little letter to mom and dad at school which his teacher passed on to us and he wants a uh a lizard as a pet to be kept at home in a little terrarium situation a bearded dragon i believe and i just i can't be i can't be a lizard dad why do it i'm gonna have to break his heart you could be the lizard king i just i just don't um they smell he says i'm gonna clean i'm gonna clean his uh little habitat like are you
Starting point is 00:04:41 though like you're not you're nine and probably won't do a good job. It's like a whole situation. I'm gonna have to tell him no. So low key, lizards are tight. I'm a lizard fan. Oh, I saw a lizard yesterday in the studio. Not in the studio, but he was peeking into the studio from outside. Was it the party gecko? It was kind of, it had party gecko vibes.
Starting point is 00:05:01 I got a video of it. I tried to run up and say what up to it, and the second I got the phone in front of his face, he skedaddled out of there. His letter to us was one of the cutest things I've ever read in my life. And you're not going to reward it with a lizard? Dude, okay, can I convince you to get a lizard right now? Probably not.
Starting point is 00:05:20 I grew up, your boy had two chameleons. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. Chameleon. Chameleon's dope. That's not a common lizard pet. I think it was. Chameleons are dope. I had two chameleons, okay?
Starting point is 00:05:34 I loved them, specifically one of them. I liked it so much that I decided to get another one. And the other one ate part of the other one. Like its head was gone when I got back from vacation one day. They'll eat some head. The amount of time that I spent like making like little bridges in the terrarium and like setting it up. The only issue that I had with it was having to go get grasshoppers to feed them. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:59 I mean, Parks, he has two dogs at his mom's. He's got one dog in my place. The pet situation is good for him he's trying to be elizadente stop that's really good elizadente do you have any experience with lizards i don't man what about lounge lizards gotta buy crickets and shit for them it's a whole thing you know back when you were running that uh semi across the country though it's a lot lizard joke i don't even know what does that mean are they are those prostitutes well i've got some
Starting point is 00:06:31 definitions up here about lizards um this i don't know this lot lizard explanation is not something i'm familiar with i don't know who cody is is that something i don't know cody what's a lot lizard uh it says a person generally a woman who is quote ideal by cody's standards I don't know Cody. What's a lot lizard? It says a person, generally a woman, who is, quote, ideal by Cody's standards. I don't know who Cody is. That doesn't help me. Shout out, Cody. Shout out, Cody. If I knew Cody, that might help.
Starting point is 00:06:52 I like that there's a dude named Cody out there. He's like, nah, dude. Yeah, she's a lot lizard. He's like, why'd you use my name for the definition? A street lizard, per Urban Dictionary, is a B-I-T-C-H who sucks large amounts of D-I-C-K, expecting money or clothes in exchange. Ah, prostitute. And a lounge lizard is a female who typically stalks bars and clubs for random hookups.
Starting point is 00:07:16 Okay. I've seen a few of those. A lot of lizards. They're hanging out in the park in a lot of the loves. Maybe even the... That's a particular clientele. This says a lot of the loves. Maybe even the... That's a particular clientele. This says a lot. This is a dirty truck stop hooker.
Starting point is 00:07:29 Yeah, that's another way of saying what you just read. I'm pretty sure Lounge Lizard back in the 20s was a fuck boy. It was a guy that hung out at the clubs. That's way tighter. It was like, hey, he's a Lounge Lizard. You wait until like 1.30 and start perusing. All right. Randy, that wasn't your best 1920s accent.
Starting point is 00:07:46 Can you do it? Yeah, he's a long lizard, see? That's better. What? All right. There were some flaws there, but I think I can overlook them. Hey, he's doing his best. Hey, you guys take lizards for granted down here.
Starting point is 00:07:57 As us northerners, seeing a lizard go across the ground is the coolest thing. It's still sick to me. It makes me feel so tropical seeing it in Texas. Like, you don't get that. They're everywhere. Yeah, but up in, dude, up in Michigan, we don't get lizards. You don't get them at all. Too cold.
Starting point is 00:08:09 No. Climate. I remember my freshman year in college, there was one of my friends, he saw a deer on campus, and he was like, holy fuck. I was like, what? He goes, there's a deer. I was like, yeah, man, they're literally everywhere around here. He was shocked.
Starting point is 00:08:23 I was at Disney World when I was in fifth grade, and there was a family behind me speaking a language that i couldn't speak and uh they saw a squirrel lost their minds it was like the absolute scenes that went out like they couldn't believe what they had seen and i was like dude like it's a squirrel kind of low-key everywhere i fully understand that seeing lizards going around like it's that's that that's the feeling i get. You do get really excited when you see a lizard. Yeah, it's so cool.
Starting point is 00:08:47 We didn't grow up with them. They're great to have. Look how excited I was just to see one in the studio yesterday. Like, this was, I just saw it out the window and I immediately
Starting point is 00:08:55 picked up my phone and started sprinting at this thing so I could see it. Dude, you could have trapped it for parks. I tried. That was a cute little guy.
Starting point is 00:09:03 I know, dude. He was like the Geico dude. Maybe he was going door-to-door selling insurance. Dude, hit the circling back Instagram parks. I tried. That was a cute little guy. I know, dude. He was like the Geico dude. Maybe he was going door-to-door selling insurance. Hit the circling back Instagram. I got to think he wasn't doing that. He didn't abide by the no solicitation sign. Got to go, buddy. I told him to stress.
Starting point is 00:09:16 Skedaddle? My friends all had an inside joke that I was going to grow up and be single for my entire life, and I was going to own a house, but it was going to be totally unfurnished, except for the basement, and then in the basement, it was just me chilling with my iguana. It's still cool that you had an asset. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:33 Honestly, the fact that they thought that I would own a house and not furnish it, I was way happier that they thought that I could be a homeowner. I bet there's times where that kind of sounds dope. Honestly, just give me an unfurnished house with a lizard. Okay. I can make it.
Starting point is 00:09:46 Like, one day a week where it's just you and the lizard. Like, the party gecko just chilling. I see the vision. You got it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway.
Starting point is 00:09:56 Yeah. Sorry, Parks. Dude, get him a lizard. Dude, it's a whole terrarium thing. I don't think they smell. You got to clean it. They're not that big. Turtles smell.
Starting point is 00:10:03 It's not that bad. They smell bad. They smell. Well, bearded dragons are big, though. They eat crickets and shit. You don't think they smell. You gotta clean it. They're not that big. Turtles smell. It's not that bad. They smell bad. Well, bearded dragons are big, though. They eat crickets and shit. You don't have to shave the beard. I gotta go to the cricket store. Where am I?
Starting point is 00:10:11 I don't even know where that is. Him asking for a bearded dragon right off the top, that's a lot. That's a big one, yeah. That's a big... A what? A bearded dragon?
Starting point is 00:10:18 Yeah, that's a big lizard to get. How big do they get? I mean, it's just... It's a lizard, dude. They're basically dinosaurs. This track's for him. He's a dinosaur kid. The kids still love dinosaurs. It's tracks for him. He's a dinosaur kid. The kids still love dinosaurs.
Starting point is 00:10:28 I didn't have a chameleon. I forget what kind I had. I was going to say chameleons are not common pets. I wouldn't have had geckos, right? A gnoll? Was it a gnoll? Geckos are the cutest. We had green gnolls growing up.
Starting point is 00:10:39 Yeah, it kind of looked like this. Could it have been a gecko? Could it? Was it a party gecko they're great to have on like your window at night they eat the bugs we we have a little geckos by our things they're like nocturnal or white ones albino ones pretty cool oh that's cool i think my dad might have let it slip that they put a dog down uh that they told me they gave away this past weekend when i was hanging out with him he started telling a story and he went down this route of the story and i i stopped listening
Starting point is 00:11:10 because i was like you were at the vet after we gave him away why would you need to go to the vet after we gave him away you're talking to the doctor did you put two shots in teddy's head behind the vet that's not how they do it they don't they don't shoot it no no you should get him a komodo dragon it's actually very peaceful the way they do it. A Komodo dragon? Is that the one that like swallows goats whole? Yeah. That's the one.
Starting point is 00:11:30 Dude, those are... What is up with those things? They have... I don't know. They have like poisonous saliva, I think. Yeah. Somebody's husband got like... Barbra Streisand's husband or some shit.
Starting point is 00:11:40 Have you seen it swallow a goat? It's not it. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty insane. They didn't chew it. Yeah. What the fuck is that? They got dog in them it's crazy maybe literally it's just lizard actually no i you don't think they need a dingo if it came across one that's true you're right
Starting point is 00:11:54 you don't want to get them one that was kind of a joke because they do smell yeah don't get him a komodo dragon yeah and they're like this it's like the size of a moose they're huge it'd be so sick if you had one just trolling around your crib dude they're they're the size of a moose. They're huge. It'd be so sick if you had one just trolling around your crib. Dude, they're the size. A moose would be sick, though. To swallow a goat, you got to be pretty big, Dave. I'd like to. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:13 They're bigger than a goat, but not a moose. This is huge. They're the size of a black bear. Didn't you say your girl was going to swallow a goat this weekend? Dude, why are they so swole? They're terrifying. Look at that fucker. It would kill you.
Starting point is 00:12:31 Yes. If you were just transported to some random place that had Komodo dragons and you started seeing them walk around, you'd think that you went back in time and you had dinosaurs around you. It might be the most dinosaur thing we have left just from my standpoint. It absolutely is. They're sick though, dude. These things are fucking huge. I don't fuck with those man low-key i kind of want to ride one i want to skateboard one you don't want to i want to get on his back and have him like run down the beach with me you don't want to get close to those guys wait to be clear you don't want to like grind it like with a skateboard no
Starting point is 00:13:01 no i want to use it as my skateboard no there's a photo here of one that is exceptionally large. It's not moose, but it's bigger than I was giving it credit for. It's the size of an adolescent moose. Indonesia is considering closing Komodo Island because poachers, they keep stealing the dragons. They got to stop poaching, y'all. If you get a lizard, will you call it El Lizidente? Yes. And you can call it Lizzy or something?
Starting point is 00:13:26 For sure. Or you could call it Lizzy McGuire. Oh, Lizzy. El Lizadente. I can't do it. I can't do it. Bring it down to the donkey. We'll reopen for you.
Starting point is 00:13:35 There's a dude I follow on Instagram, and he just goes places and drinks one single pint of Guinness. Tests it out. He's an ugly bastard. Okay. But he just does that. Yesterday, I saw a video of him drinking a Guinness in our home, Dave. County Cork. We wish you'd come by.
Starting point is 00:13:58 Okay, I'll come by. No, you're not allowed. I got a meat pie for you. The guy with the mustache? I love a meat pie. Yeah, I think he's got a mustache. My only hiccup is that he's a Manchester City fan, which sucks. But he's a Guinness fan, and that kind of works, too.
Starting point is 00:14:11 It's good content. It is good content. He's such a happy-looking dude. That's a good point. So you know who I'm talking about. What's his name? I don't know. You put him on the Sunday Scaries.
Starting point is 00:14:21 Yeah, I put him on Scaries one day. It's not an NFT Nick, is it? I'll find out. No, NFT Nick. I don't... I want put him on the Sunday Scaries. Yeah, I put him on Scaries one day. It's not an NFT Nick, is it? I'll find out. No, NFT Nick. I don't... I want to stop the boxes. I need to take a couple days off at NFT Nick. He's doing man on the street content.
Starting point is 00:14:33 Yeah. I don't like his... I don't need long form content from NFT Nick. I need a single shot where something goes wrong that we can hone in on. He's popping out of character a little bit. He's like trying to reveal his true self. He's flying dangerously close to the sun right now. The time's popping out of character a little bit. He's trying to reveal his true self. He's flying dangerously close to the sun right now.
Starting point is 00:14:48 The time's running out. You look better than him, even though you're both in your 40s. Oh, thank you. Is he in his 40s? Yeah, he's 42. He got docs, dude. With who? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:14:57 Someone exposed his dating profile on like Hinge or something. And then he went and interviewed girls on the street. Prime Mudden 2000 ABFR. That is the guy. What the fuck? The Guinness guy. No, that's not his app. There's a different app for him.
Starting point is 00:15:14 Remember the mutton chop guy we had? Jason Hackett. I was driving down a street near the office today and I saw a Tesla that I had to get out of the way for. And Tesla's license plate just said saas you familiar with this just software as a service okay the lamest fucking
Starting point is 00:15:36 thing you can do like i'm not not kidding when i say that might be the lamest uh custom tesla license plate that i've ever seen. Software as a service. Why do Tesla people have to do custom plates? I do. I think they have someone on the sales floor that's like, all right, now we're going to talk to our custom plate guy. So they upsell you? It's crazy how many have the custom ones. They're going to say some gap insurance, and it's like, I want some custom plates.
Starting point is 00:16:01 If they would have offered me the wildlife plate, and I could have gotten, I don't know, a bearded dragon on there or something, would have done that for sure i think the wildlife plates are sick eliz eliz dude it's kind of sick you have to get a lizard now i don't have to get a lizard now why i'm just gonna hope he doesn't like he just stops bringing it up and then hopefully it'll just go away he's gonna listen to this podcast one day and be like, holy shit. That motherfucker. Hey, we got some major news. We had a newsletter go out today on washed.substack.com. Dylan did a little mailbag. Go check it out. You can also watch all of our episodes on youtube.com slash circling back. Most Mondays and Wednesdays, there will be a 2.30 p.m. premiere. But unfortunately, March 25th, 2024 was the darkest day of Randy Trumbacki's career at
Starting point is 00:16:49 Washed Media, and he did not do a scheduled premiere. It's only up from there, though, Randy. As long as you can accept that Monday was just, you were just having a tough go at it, Randy. It was a bad day. I was loopy and all that, just nothing there. It even came up to you. I'm like, are you seeing the premiere pop up?
Starting point is 00:17:07 And it's not popping up. I should have realized I didn't schedule it. You were rattled. You were rattled. Yesterday, beyond the paywall, we did Do You Know It, a game show podcast. Had an absolute blast. That went well. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:19 That was fun. For the most part. You did good. There was a little hiccup, but the fans will never know that because i cut perfectly around it oh try to find where it was oh wonder who won because you'll have to tune in to listen it wasn't will because he was producing why are you being mean he was a good producer it's pretty good very good camera work will randy i've been enjoying the game shows man thank you i don't perform well but i'm having fun sorry poor brett brett brett he still beat me not his category not his day music category the year he was born so i was born didn't listen to a lot of music that year
Starting point is 00:17:59 apparently no we did i would have cleaned up during that music episode. I did win yesterday's episode despite the fact that I was producing. I had a very good episode. I'm very happy about it. Can we hear from our friends over at Naked Wines? I go to the store to buy wine a decent amount. I don't go as much anymore because of Naked, but every time I went to the store, I'd go through the aisle.
Starting point is 00:18:23 I'd go to the red section. I'd probably get the same Cab I'd go to the red section. I'd probably get the same Cabernet that I've gotten a million times just because it's like, doesn't rock the boat too much, got a vibey label, everything. Can I tell you why I like naked wine so much? I go to the store and I look at the shelves of wine. I'm like, I don't know what I'm looking at. I don't know how to pick wine. I just look for a price point and then I just go with it. And sometimes they're good. Sometimes they're not good. The Naked Wine wines that they've sent me have all been really good. All of them. Most of the wine that you buy today goes
Starting point is 00:18:51 towards fancy packaging, marketing campaigns, tax. That's crazy. Why would you want your money going there? I want it going directly to the distributor. This podcast today is sponsored by Naked Wines. Naked Wines is a subscription service that seamlessly connects you to the finest independent winemakers on the planet. So you get a box of the market's best quality wines, however often you'd like for a fraction of the price you'd normally pay in stores. How do they do it? You're probably wondering. They connect winemakers and wine drinkers directly, allowing for vineyard to your door delivery at up to 60% off what you would pay in store by cutting out the traditional retail middlemen, Dave.
Starting point is 00:19:29 Love that about them. Get those costs out of here. Those markups, buh-bye, because winemakers can pass those savings on to you without skimping on quality. As a result, you get exclusive access to hundreds of top quality wines, award-winning wines at huge savings, making naked wines Wines perfect for any type of wine drinker. Like I said, I go to the store all the time. I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't even have a good palate. With Naked Wines, I know I'm getting good, unique wines at a great price. So head over to nakedwines.com slash steam and click enter voucher in the top when you get to
Starting point is 00:20:00 the website and put in steam for both the code and the password. If you do that, you get six bottles of wine. Yes, six bottles of wine for just $39.99 with shipping included. That's $100 off and equates out to less than $7 a bottle. Pretty good deal if you ask me. I'm going to go buy some right now. Again, nakedwines.com slash steam and use code and password steam to grab six bottles for just $39.99. One last time, nakedwines.com slash steam. Code and password steam for $100 off your first six bottles for just $39.99. One last time, nakedwines.com slash steam. Code and password steam for $100 off your first six bottles.
Starting point is 00:20:29 Dylan, you really wanted to talk to Sydney Sweeney going into this episode today. You were like adamant we talked to Sydney Sweeney. I don't remember saying anything about that, actually. Well, 75% of this room finds her attractive. Randy, you got something to say? I would say 100 percent find her attractive 25 percent does not think she is the most amazing she's not you know overhyped helen of athens or whatever
Starting point is 00:20:55 yeah i just we don't need to debate this the hotness of sydney sweet we're not doing that will agree or disagree is she helen of athens dude as bad as helen of athens was dude like she's a generational eater helen troy from athens she was a generational eater and uh like they were eating good back then they were were they i think the rich people were very overweight i kind of wish we lived in that that era i kind of wish we lived in that era. I kind of wish I lived in that era. I think I could have cleaned up.
Starting point is 00:21:29 There's one thing I didn't like about that era. Like slavery? Two things I didn't like about that era. What's the other one? Pedophilia. Ooh. Not good. Was it pedophilia back then?
Starting point is 00:21:40 So they probably didn't have laws against it? Will brings up an interesting point. Randy. I didn't think I'd be defending ancient pedophilia today but let's not let's not dig into that one yeah maybe we don't think it would still be considered let's not double click into that yeah yeah we'll drag that one to the recycling i want to play a game called um bigger red flag okay if at all may not be a red flag at all is it the fact that sydney sweeney has never tried coffee or she's high functioning off two hours sleep she's not no one's high functioning off two hours okay how about this is it a bigger red flag never tried coffee or that she claims that she can function highly off of two
Starting point is 00:22:25 hours sleep that's a good way of phrasing it our friend cam probably did a what's that guy on on instagram like doesn't doesn't need coffee oh he probably has cam edwards dude oh yes yes whoa dude how are you awake right now i think he did do actually he's just got that natural energy oh my god two hours of sleep? I don't believe anyone like Elon Musk says that he requires six hours of sleep and that's like the least try hard thing about him to me is that he's
Starting point is 00:22:55 that's a reasonable response yeah like six hours for someone like him makes a lot of sense to me I've become a person who requires a lot of sleep I don't know where this happened in life. I've been getting some dope sleeps off lately. I took two early birds on Sunday night, and I slept harder than I've slept in a really long time. Backer 20.
Starting point is 00:23:13 I just need a fat-ass dip in a Celsius. Don't fall asleep with dips in, David. You need to do both. It's an energy drink. Yeah, I know. I'm fucked up. It's a lot of caffeine in it. Yeah, shit's gone haywire.
Starting point is 00:23:23 The construction worker's breakfast. I'm on my Helen of Athens shit. Grind mentality Twitter probably loves this. Randy, you've never tried coffee, right? I've tried it. You just don't drink it. I just don't like the taste of coffee. That's why I don't drink it.
Starting point is 00:23:35 Do you want energy in the morning? Like, is it something you crave? Is it something you're trying to get? No. I mean, I think last year my New Year's resolution was try to cut out caffeine a lot more, but I usually always have that caffeine drink around lunch. Oh, Mio? Mio or my amino acid thing that's caffeine in it. But I try as much as possible to not do caffeine.
Starting point is 00:23:55 Do you ever look at people drinking coffee and think like, man, they get so much enjoyment out of this? Do you ever look at Dylan, sip in a cup of Bing Bong and be like, man, is there something I'm missing? Is there something I should be changing? For sure. There's the whole like the different roasts and the different flavors and all the stuff you can do to it. A lot of stuff. I'm like, this is a whole thing that I'm just missing out on mainly just because I don't like the taste. I got a question.
Starting point is 00:24:17 Coffee is one of Earth's greatest gifts. I am envious of the enjoyment people get out of coffee that I just I'll never be able to get. Let me ask you a little question, Randy. Do you like what you see? Spooky bitch. Out of this spooky bitch mug. That's a great mug. That is a great mug.
Starting point is 00:24:36 I'm having so much enjoyment. I had a coffee, a little cold brew before this podcast today, and I thought I'd follow it up with a little sparkling grape rush. Dude, you're – Yeah. Are you tweaking over there grapes of frat over here hell yeah steinbeck play you have so much caffeine you're gonna take off wow this guy's different dude he's getting really niche with them like very specific and they're still good he's done a lot of them they're all funny i'm like when's he gonna run out of material he's just not two hours of sleep is borderline unhealthy it's not borderline is to promote down right yeah like but like just saying you do this like it's just you can't be promoting that you do this
Starting point is 00:25:18 do we believe do we believe these numbers no well she's setting an alarm for like 1 a.m and i mean what's going on here why would you setting an alarm for like 1 a.m. I mean, what's going on here? Why would she want to get up at 3 a.m. and be lonely? Who's sleeping like this? Just keep sleeping for a little longer. Have you guys watched Anyone But You? No. The single greatest movie of 2023. Is it actually decent?
Starting point is 00:25:40 I'm going to be delicate as I describe this. Does she dump them out? Is it a good movie? That's up for debate. Is it a good romantic comedy? Absolutely it is. Anyone that is looking for more out of this movie than what the movie offered
Starting point is 00:25:57 is simply being too hard on it. No one's expecting Oscar pub here. It's a great romantic comedy that should be taken at face value. And this is coming from the rom-com guy. I love a good rom-com, and I went into this with some real tough opinions going against it,
Starting point is 00:26:13 and I loved it, man. If you had to give it a letter grade, would you give it an A, B, C, or D? Or a double. Stop. You guys are so... You're too horny. You're a problem right now. You put it on a T. You guys are so you're too horny. You're fucking you're a problem. They put it on a tee You are taking it way too far dude. That's gross. I Just took a swing. That's all you swing though. It's more like a showing slang. Okay, I Gave it a I give it a solid B
Starting point is 00:26:41 Nice. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I heard it was a handful it a solid B. Nice. I heard it was a handful. Like watching the movie was like, okay, this is good, but like Glenn Powell
Starting point is 00:26:48 over here is just so hot and she's so hot and there's just hot people. He was shredded. He was shredded. And Glenn's got like, bounces around. Glenn has like an ex
Starting point is 00:26:56 in the movie who's a problem. Sydney's got her ex-boyfriend who's pretty good looking. Do they catch feelings for each other? There's a Hemsworth-y guy in there
Starting point is 00:27:04 who's just an Australian problem. Bro Hems? He's not as hot as hemsworth but he just gives him no one's no one is as hot as hemsworth yeah you know you know hemsworth is like uh he's perfect not only a hot dude and seemingly a cool dude who plays cool roles but you know he's also into like the like cold point shit and like the opposite yeah it's it's he's got like that but isn't henry cavill into like dork shit yep yeah he's very much that's sweet i love that for him dude i just like that these guys are not they're like kind of doing their own thing they're not falling into the traditional male um whatever i don't know where it's going with that we move on you guys see the texas monthly texas
Starting point is 00:27:45 bracket they're doing right now they just have a bracket of all things texas are all people texas okay glenn powell lost round one two he's new to the scene he's new to the scene he was i remember looking at it and being like damn he was up against someone really difficult who was it like stevie ray vaughn let me pull it up on instagram it's actually a pretty good bracket i just saw he's getting inducted to the texas film hall of fame seems a little soon yeah i know right his best role was in screen queens by the way everybody wants some everybody wants some oh jesse plemmons is a good i don't know how you haven't seen i think he lost to jesse plemmons actually that should happen. Jesse Plemons is way more talented. No offense. I like Glenn Powell. He's a good actor. Yeah. Dylan, everybody wants some is so up your alley. You need to watch it. It's a college baseball movie starred by Glenn Powell. How
Starting point is 00:28:36 old is this movie? I was in Austin when it was released. So I would assume it came out around 2017, 2018. Alamo Drafthouse was doing a special that day where you could go to the good the movie and you could get Tallboys of Lone Star for like a dollar and so we went and watched it Dylan it's a great movie dude I need it's a great move everybody wants some it's a Henry Linklater joint so it's got it's got major vibes of Dazing of Views and stuff. Seriously, you would love it. I don't know how you have enough. I think I might have pitched this for Stream Room at one point.
Starting point is 00:29:09 Did y'all know that Forrest Whitaker's from Texas? I did not. Longview is Texas. Shout out. Is Longview about... Like the Green Day Longview? Is that Texas adjacent? No.
Starting point is 00:29:24 Okay. I don't think so i never really thought that through yeah in 2016 this is not bad content i gotta say to put a cherry on top of this segment like these are such red flags if sydney sweeney like dm me i don't think i'd respond i just i'm calling bullshit on these numbers i don't like anti-coffee people randy's made a decent case for just simply not liking it But also being maybe a little jealous And I'm okay with that But like Brett
Starting point is 00:29:49 He's a dirty chai latte You know, Klein tried coffee for the first time Like a year ago And what happened? I don't think he's a big coffee guy But he dabbles now Did he go messy in his nappy? I don't think so, David
Starting point is 00:30:03 The first time you try it. Yeah. It tends to make you go number two. I understand that. Diuretic. Diuretic. Yeah. What?
Starting point is 00:30:12 Diuretic. Something like that. Sure. Okay. I didn't try coffee until, or like coffee until like college. I was. That's fair. When Starbucks became like the.
Starting point is 00:30:24 That's right on time yeah but now like my niece and her friends they've been drinking coffee since they were like 12, 13 wait really? I always thought the people
Starting point is 00:30:34 that drank coffee in high school were tryhards that's tryhard yeah yeah you're right she's my niece so I had an 8am job Monday through Friday at Miami
Starting point is 00:30:42 that I had to go to and when you know you just started drinking like a year before and you're going out all the time 8 a.m is probably not the everyday thing you wanted to do and i started the only reason i started drinking coffee was because of that job and i started by drinking the double shot espressos from starbucks that you get from the dining hall and that was like my entryway into coffee that hurts dylan because uh sugar content knows is yeah it's a sugar play what there needs to be more companies out there that put out And that was like my entryway into coffee. That hurts, Dylan, because sugar content in those is... Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:05 It's a sugar play. There needs to be more companies out there that put out cold coffee drinks with no sugar in them. Just make it black coffee. You can find them. You can find them. I know, but it's not... I can't guarantee that if I go down to the Valero down south of Marway, that I'm going to go find one right now.
Starting point is 00:31:25 You know who's got the best selection? Central Market. I believe it. They have the best everything. Central Market is so much better for that kind of stuff than Whole Foods. That store is goaded. It's a great store. Okay.
Starting point is 00:31:38 Randy, can you – I just sent you a Slack. I don't know if you've seen this Slack yet, but I need you to put a link up on the screen that I forgot to send you earlier before the show. I apologize. There's been someone that's... There's been someone that's been all over our TLs lately, and I don't really know what to do about it,
Starting point is 00:31:55 because she's not... This isn't the only video that's been all over my TL. It's been really, like, everything. I've been so confused about this. I gotta tell you, I don't like to brag, but I've been ground floor on this chick for months, and I just didn't want to tell anybody. Okay. Let's press play. Let's press play and hear her song. I hope this doesn't get us removed from YouTube or anything, but we'd be remiss not to play some of the song. Come on. bowls every lyric medicinal truth sound transforms dna my mind's making things move kidney infection i feel bad too i've been doing things your brain can't compute they'll say it's magic but you could
Starting point is 00:32:52 do it too just open up your heart and let it channel through new weekend and fun song she got bars that's not even her most um she got bars annoying verse leting verse. Let me help here. Let me find one. What's her name? I should know. I've been creeping on her for a while. For people who aren't watching on YouTube right now. It's Shannon Blake. Shannon Blake 999.
Starting point is 00:33:21 But Shannon is spelled S-H-A-N-I-N, not O. That's annoying. That's a little annoying. For people who can't see her on YouTube, I've never seen so much shit on one person in my entire life. The amount of accessories that she has to pull out of whatever every single day. She's over-accessorized by a lot. When she goes to bed at night, she has to take off her armor.
Starting point is 00:33:45 It's a whole thing. It's a whole thing. It's a whole process, yeah. There are a lot of dudes on my TL who are... She's not ugly. No, no, not at all. But there's a lot of dudes on my TL who are... Buddy. ...putting out the tweet that's like,
Starting point is 00:33:58 can I just say something about there real quick? The Chinese, whatever the guy was, grabbing the mic and everybody's like pulling them away i got that meme would uh no yeah she's uh interesting randy i dm'd you something on instagram i don't know if that helps or hurts the cause okay um it's the first video i saw and i was like oh this is really annoying and then like a lot of things you kind of find yourself really uh buying into or just watching the annoying content um i don't know what all she's on i feel like she's promoting some drug use i mean she she does drugs not her she does drugs she doesn't do drugs she's talking to aliens she
Starting point is 00:34:38 goes to she takes i i once got to set the mood she's got a mind she got a Millie on the ground. She looks like someone who lives in a tree. Yeah. Okay, so there's a meme of her. She wasn't raised by humans. You want me to play this one too? She was raised by gnomes. There was a meme of her like end of last year, and it was like,
Starting point is 00:34:59 you just know this girl's parents work for Lockheed Martin or something. And that's why. Yeah. She just grew up like, yeah. Yeah. She's just grew up like very privileged. Yeah. Like she probably has a tech job. This is the one, this is the one that made the rounds that I was like, wait a minute. Like is she in her car right now? And does she have moss growing from the top of her car? Like, cause I cost extra. You don't? It kind of throws me off at first, but like if someone offered me moss on top of my car,
Starting point is 00:35:24 I might say yes. Right. Because it sets the mood. This makes me want to not do drugs. She wears so much shit on her. It's too much. There's too much fucking shit on her. She's got too much fucking shit on her.
Starting point is 00:35:50 It's just too much. Eyebrow game pretty strong, though. Yeah. It's going to take her three hours to get ready to leave the house. It's crazy. It's crazy. Can you imagine if you met this young lady somewhere? Maybe you go on a bumble date or something,
Starting point is 00:36:04 and then things escalate, and you go go to her place and you walk into her tree and you need to like take take off some stuff and then like you're just clanking around you got like just necklaces everywhere you know it smelled crazy in her place oh come on yeah it probably smells like incense and shit she wears infinity infinity bracelets it's like an infinity stone Just the most bracelets imaginable. Bet you she has a lizard. There's no doubt. She probably claims to be part lizard.
Starting point is 00:36:33 She talks to lizards weekly. She became a lizard during her ayahuasca trip. Do you become stuff during your ayahuasca? Is that just a personal journey for you? She takes a strong... Yeah, didn't our friend Connor Waters become a Jaguar? Yeah, it's true. Which has got to be one of the most dope things you could become.
Starting point is 00:36:48 Takes a really strong mirror selfie. I'm looking at some of her- You need to relax. I like the way the tide has turned. Dylan, I don't know. I feel like I know you well enough to know your type. And I won't reveal that publicly. I couldn't handle this, is that what you're trying to say?
Starting point is 00:37:03 It's not your type at all. No. But I could see you from afar being like oh like i mean i get it i never thought you'd be into um artificial intelligence ladies but here we are it's a good point shut up melissa very fair point it just stresses me out all the shit she has on her yeah yeah like i it's it's hard for me to buy in that you're like an actual like hippie person if you're putting this much effort into making sure that everyone knows that this is your brand yeah it's kind of like the oh what david you need to relax you guys are starting off with sweeney and this what are you you doing, Dave? It's too much. I'm nothing. There's one for too much, dude. I saw that.
Starting point is 00:37:45 Is it this one? She's pretty. Look, she's pretty. Pull that up, Randy. No problem. I won't put it on the screen for the folks at home. I'll put it on the screen for you guys here. Okay.
Starting point is 00:37:55 Brett thinks that we can make a country music artist out of one of us. He's saying that because he wants to be the guy. He wants to be him. He wants it. And to be fair, he's- It's worth an experiment. He would be the guy. Does he have pipes? No, but you don't really you don't really need pipes i think you have to
Starting point is 00:38:10 just have decent voice and have a jackson hall t-shirt and you're good he's got both he's got he's got the hair the hair is good country music star she might be into guys like you dylan i don't i don't think so you're a little bit more reserved straight edge the only tattoo you have is invisible it's on your butt she would be she would like to like she'd have a fling with you or she'd get you to try some like oh shit one month with her and i would have three more tattoos just three she's a walking burning man yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's good randy a good pull well good for her can you imagine if dylan started dating her and it's like all right let's go to matt's dave bring a list i'm bringing sally sit down with shannon everyone just be like what's dylan doing
Starting point is 00:38:59 shannon with an eye she shames us for wanting to eat meat oh yeah she doesn't eat meat there's no way she's yeah she has to be she might be raw meat experiment let's see what your profile says is there any photos of her eating meat um that's good that's good oh god what if her and nft nick hooked up yeah i don't see that happening. Please no. I don't see that happening. I'm not signing up for that OnlyFans. That's for sure. That's good.
Starting point is 00:39:31 He's just rocking his signature shades. He didn't take them all. Oh, what a fun account. Yeah. I'm glad we got to discuss. I don't know what this sound drop is, but we're going to find out. She's still a bit madness. Bit madness. Bit madness!
Starting point is 00:39:47 Round three. She does have an OnlyFans. Sweet 16! What happens behind that paywall? I don't know. Y'all need to chill. I'm just paying to play. Gotta luck.
Starting point is 00:40:00 Pretty much her link tree. She has a lot of things. YouTube, TikTok, Patreon, Facebook, SoundCloud. She has all the social media that everyone has. It's called grind mentality. Oh, I guess. She's different. She's built different.
Starting point is 00:40:10 She's got an OnlyFans. She has an OnlyFans. All right, let's do this. Thanks, Randy. Bit Madness. If you're not familiar with Bit Madness, our listeners have seeded 64, yes, 64 bits that we've done over the last year,
Starting point is 00:40:22 or maybe even over the last five years, and put them in a bracket-style tournament. Today, we're going to go through the final eight matchups, and I think things are about to get difficult today. We've had a lot of just, yeah, shoot that one through. That's a good one, but not today. The winner of this, whoever, I don't even know who's in the lead at this point,
Starting point is 00:40:40 but whoever's in the lead, I really hope that you want some row back because we've got a ton and we're about to send your way. Oh, shit. That's some pretty good uh bracket name so we'll have to go through those maybe the championship game some of the last bracket we can do that backers have done we can do a whole bracket of bracket names that we probably could i'm gonna go on record saying if the dick saloon was still or was actually included in this bracket i would still have it in here i'd be voting for it every time. It's not there to all the people
Starting point is 00:41:05 that are concerned about the omission. Hey, they didn't have a great season leading up to the tournament. It's true. I don't know if it is true, though.
Starting point is 00:41:14 It wasn't our doing. Don't look at us. Not on me. Not on us. Shall we do our first matchup in the too much dip side of the bracket? Ooh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:26 We've got number one, the number one overall seed, out Blankway, versus number five, Merchant of Death. Does the Merchant of Death have any thoughts on Kaitlyn Cook possibly joining Big Three? She's got nothing on Brit. Kaitlyn Clark. Kaitlyn Clark. Who did he say?
Starting point is 00:41:43 Dude, I say that because I let her cook. We met a Caitlin Cook in Chicago. And for some reason, the name is just stuck in us. Bro, what's up with her? Yeah, does she ball? She's listening to this being like, what the? They got to stop saying my name. Bro, I like.
Starting point is 00:42:01 What's her name? Caitlin Clark. Get it right, dude. Bro, Kaitlyn, she's nice with you. Brittany pulled back her down, bro. She put that thing on her, throw it down. This action has changed over the weeks. I don't know if anyone's noticed that.
Starting point is 00:42:16 Are there hard fouls in Big 3? Yeah. Hard to say? Like, if she's taken into the rack, some dude's not just going to use that as clearance just to wipe her out, right? I don't... Go Charles Oakley on that.
Starting point is 00:42:31 That happens in the opening round. That chick just threw a forearm to her face. Yeah, Dave, she gets mistreated because she balls. Fuck it, we ball. The women's tournament. Ball is late, man. This is a hard matchup for me because out blank way is more of a listener driven uh bit at this point whereas
Starting point is 00:42:51 merchant of death just really plays every time it's within these four walls out blank way is it's gonna be a tough out folks yeah i mean there's really there be a tough out, folks. Yeah, I mean, there's really, there's a lot. I would say most stories have an opportunity for Al Blanquette. They start somewhere. Merchant of Death just comes and goes. Right. I'm voting Merchant of Death. Wow.
Starting point is 00:43:20 I love the Merchant of Death. I don't know why. It's just really funny to me that, one, his name is Merchant of Death, and two, because he was released because of Brittany Griner, he's just a big Brittany Griner guy. Bro, I wasn't familiar with Gim. He follows her career, weirdly. What's up with Gim Moki?
Starting point is 00:43:37 Total bitch, bro. Yeah. Yeah. I need that post-it order to drop dude i i haven't been yeah this is good i'm this is going to deliver everything that we thought the epstein flight logs this is going to deliver more haywalled or not i'm going to give dave the onus so i'm gonna vote out blank way oh man this is this is really tough because it takes a very very strong performance to take down a one seed especially out blank way one seed how many one seeds did britney grinder knock out of the tournament that's a good question probably was a one seed Yeah she probably was Most of the time
Starting point is 00:44:25 40-0 they went that one seed 40-0 Bet Bet Perfect man The accent is just Number of countries Mixed together
Starting point is 00:44:34 And I apologize Give me the Give me M.O.D. Yes Wow One seed What an upset One seed goes down
Starting point is 00:44:42 Is it a little self-serving Yeah but You know Will gets Will likes it, and we're going to do it. Maybe next week when we do this, I'll have a better handle on the voice. That's going to bust a lot of brackets. Number three, El Glissadente versus number two, The Juxtaposition. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:45:03 Can we kill Elgliss, please? Can we just do it? Assassinate? He won two years ago, and he's still celebrating. Is it true that they have not approved Secret Service protection for you? Is it true? That is true. Do you see Secret Service around me?
Starting point is 00:45:19 No, but I thought maybe they'd be in the ceiling. Have you all seen that video of the uh of the bowling alley the bowling alley video where the uh the bowling pin is uh shooting another bowling pin in a convertible i have not yeah i'm interested bowling uh bowling alley videos are funny i've seen this video a million times at this point but like every time it's on my tl i watch the entirety of it because it's just a bowling pin with a sniper rifle in a window shooting another bowling pin in a convertible as if it's jfk who's got a strike baby who comes up with this shit explain that corridor digital they did a whole video like they're trying to make the most offensive uh things it's pretty funny
Starting point is 00:46:01 just go watch it get behind that bro it's offensive i'm gonna vote for juxto juxtaposition even though i hate it when dave says it wow he says it all the time yeah this is a tough racket for you gotta kill elgliss there's no there's no yeah this is like uh a and m versus tech for you yeah can they both lose sort of just hate them both yeah juxtoo goes through for me. Wait, so I didn't, so you, where did you vote, Will?
Starting point is 00:46:29 I haven't voted yet. Okay, you go Juxto. I'm going to go Gliss. I'm going to put the Onas on Will. Thank you for the Onas. Stop. How did that not make it? Yeah, how did that not make you on here?
Starting point is 00:46:45 Instead of El Gliz, it should have been you idiots mispronouncing things intentionally. Or you need to get your ears checked. You know, this is hard. When it comes to this matchup, it truly is about the juxtaposition of the two. But unfortunately, El Glizadente is just really making a lot of waves lately it's not gogs oh wow gogs i hate i hate hey can i ask you a question you don't have to answer this but um did you ever appear at any fundraisers at diddy's house although i have met diddy and we are friends um actually that's not true
Starting point is 00:47:31 i have met diddy have you archived the photo yet i haven't no okay i might i might do that i'll do share to your story and say i stand with diddy and then put the fist emoji i ain't doing it or just say take me about i ain't doing it uh no we don't keep him tough is this the most problematic celebrity you've met now yeah gotta be what about zinger no zinger's not in this ballpark you don't think paulie zinger had any he had some human trafficking or anything he He's got some takes, but yeah, he didn't traffic humans. Yeah. Allegedly. We don't know for sure yet. Doesn't look good.
Starting point is 00:48:11 He left his sons at home to get arrested. He just dipped out. Not great. Can't do that. I have two sons. I would never let him get arrested before me. No. We're down in the retail therapy bracket.
Starting point is 00:48:24 We got number two, Zockhard, versus number three, Let's Go Out This Weekend. Bro. Bro, Let's Go Out This Weekend. You see Ricky put together some designs? I did. I have not seen these yet. Check the merch channel. I got a dip in that slack.
Starting point is 00:48:40 I'm voting for, I don't know why. I don't know what I'm voting for... I don't know why. I don't know what I'm voting for, actually. I think I'm going to vote for Let's Go Out this weekend just because I'm still very in on Timon and I'm watching a lot of his content. I've also been playing my Zod card way too much lately to the point where I think I'm disrespecting the Zod card a little bit. Dave, are you aware of this?
Starting point is 00:49:06 Dude, I have two kids, man. We order pizza a lot. We're about to send Homeland Security into this fucker's house. You know we can suspend your Zod card. You know that, right? We're about to raid your shit. You won't. I don't like that I have a future presidential candidate
Starting point is 00:49:18 threatening me to remove my Zod card. I can pull some strings if I have to. This doesn't feel like a democracy to me. I thought you were the people's dog. I thought you would respect the Zod card. I can pull some strings if I have to. This doesn't feel like a democracy to me. I thought you were the people's dog. I thought you would respect the Zod card. Resident has broad executive powers. I cannot wait for your campaign event at Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest on 4th of July this year in New York City.
Starting point is 00:49:38 Dude, you should for sure go and be there to support me. Is it true that Joey Chestnut's going to be your running mate? No comment. I want to see nft nick in a hot dog eating contest that's good he doesn't use his hands he just flips them up like a fucking seal that's good why is it so serious every dog um what did you do you did timon
Starting point is 00:50:00 i'm in tim call me pumbaa because I'm voting for Timon. Oh, man. Look, Zockhart is still in play. It's still the – it's still a law. It's on the books. The statute's there. Let's go out this weekend. That is another thing I will catch myself walking around the house by myself saying for no reason. There's no one there.
Starting point is 00:50:25 It's just me. So, yeah, that's going on. Well, I'm pretty sure that's the reigning champ, too, that just went down. Really? I think Zockhart won last year. Sorry, Zockhart. You ran into a diaper daddy.
Starting point is 00:50:38 I was going to vote for that, too, for the record. Doesn't matter anymore, though. A diaper daddy, baby. Number four, backers giving their stats on voicemails versus number one what's the damage what's the damage didn't have like a great 2023 or 20 early 2024 i don't feel like surprising one seed in my opinion kind of a legacy one seed like Like, oh, blue blood program. Give them the one seed. The Dukies are blue blood. Yes, they are.
Starting point is 00:51:10 That's true. Yeah. Coach K. The Dukies. Legendary. That's a good point. I'm voting number four. Backers giving their stats.
Starting point is 00:51:22 I laugh every time. And honestly, if someone doesn't give their stats on a voicemail i kind of just don't care as much i do take that into account when i'm fielding voicemails a good stat read can really make a good voicemail yeah as long as it's not too private too personal like one of you does and just gives me statistics on a part of him that I just don't want to know. Like his elbow? What? No. Forearm? Keep going.
Starting point is 00:51:51 Big toe? His femur. Who do you think has the biggest weenus? Isn't that skin? Mm-hmm. I don't know. I don't know who has the biggest weenus, Will. Okay. Is it actually called that, or did they just come up with that when we were like little
Starting point is 00:52:05 that the skin on your elbow is called the weenus they never did much after teenage dirtbag it's good weenus it's good no it's true weenus is slang for the excess or loose skin at the joint of one's elbow it says slang which is technically referred to as olocranial skin. Dictionary.com notes that weenus and vagina are joke words referring to the skin on the outside of the pit of an elbow respectively. Dictionary.com should not have
Starting point is 00:52:36 vagina in it. No, there are no nerves there. You can squeeze it as hard as you want. It doesn't hurt at all. I'm going to get it pierced. I'm going to get it pierced. I'm going to get a Prince Albert in my weenus. Squeeze your weenus. Come here. Bring your weenus over. I'm not supposed to do that for another couple weeks then i have to do it repeatedly at volume there's a little pain no there's not squeeze your weenies i mean for how hard i'm squeezing it and for how little I feel it, it's pretty wild.
Starting point is 00:53:06 I mean, it's certainly not as dramatic of a... Randy, squeeze your weenus. I'm squeezing my forearm at the same place and it feels exactly the same as my weenus. No, then you're not doing it right. Ow, no, dude. I just did it. You're an idiot. Grab only weenus. Yeah, you're not getting only weenus.
Starting point is 00:53:24 You're grabbing your quarter zip randy it's just talking about i'm doing here here i'll show the folks at home doing here can do that as much as i'm doing my wieners and it is the same thing there's no way i actually don't have any have you been sitting on your hand for the duration of this episode yeah i've been doing a lot of these you're exercising your wieners yeah i'm I'm trying to shed. It's cutting season. Spring break's coming up. It's true. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:48 Got to get your weenus tight. Yeah. You ever try to lick your own weenus? Can't do it, man. It's impossible. You ever try to lick your weenus, Dave? No. I usually just tuck it away.
Starting point is 00:53:58 I just squeeze it. I'm a little embarrassed by it. My grandpa could lick his earlobe. What the fuck? Excuse me? Just kidding. Does he just pull it around? No, people always believe that.
Starting point is 00:54:06 And then they start putting it together and they're like, hold on, that's impossible. I sort of didn't believe it. There's no freaking way. I bet you Gene Simmons could if he tugged it down. There's no way Gene Simmons could lick his own earlobe. Maybe if he did like ear gauges and then took them out after a long time and they just hung down and then you pull it around, then you could lick your shit. I don't think my grandpa had ear gauges it's after his time yeah okay number four giving stats gets the will to freeze vote meet me too i love it oh okay i was gonna go Sorry, Tom. It just didn't have that strong of a year.
Starting point is 00:54:45 No, it didn't. To me, it's like the most puzzling funny thing. Wow. Because it doesn't seem that funny, but it is funny for some reason. No, not even any one seeds. No two seeds left on that side of the bracket. Wow. Wow.
Starting point is 00:55:03 All right. Pretty amazing. Pretty amazing stuff, guys. It's a crazy event happening. Number one on the male inside of the bracket, it's a blank play, versus number four, Goon Cave. Hmm.
Starting point is 00:55:21 This is like what this bracket's for, because these both had very strong years Like both of them were You could go full Pull up any random show we did And these came up So to speak I enjoy
Starting point is 00:55:35 It's a blank play A lot I think that was a Dave original Yeah when y'all were shitting on me For like in Triscuit crackers or something You said it was a texture play Wait what I shitting on me for like Triscuit crackers or something. Yeah, Triscuit sucks.
Starting point is 00:55:46 I like Triscuit. I like Triscuit. Wait, what was it? You don't like pretzels, but you like Triscuits? I just remember It's a Blank Play came a lot with when you guys were talking brunch. They kept on saying famously
Starting point is 00:55:57 and then you guys said something about It's a Something Play and then like DJ loved it. Yeah. I always say, I don't know why, but this always comes out whenever i say it's a salt play it's always when i salt something yeah i'm going it's a blank play
Starting point is 00:56:14 i'm going goon cave oh i kind of like goon cave because the bit started before i knew what a goon cave was and then then it just evolved into a different form. It was a fun week. I also just... I don't know why. I'm not done with the word goon yet in my life. It's really the Paul Giamatti meme that really set itself apart from everything where you could just get a bunch
Starting point is 00:56:38 of gooning in with Paul Giamatti. Missed that one. For a small donation. Yeah, you could have an eight-hour goon sesh with paul giamatti that doesn't sound appealing i just assumed that goon cave was like where you just go do your dumb guy shit you're looking up you're looking at playing video games looking at stupid shit which is on brand for us to like get something a little bit wrong well we were very wrong but still have something very different it's a masturbatory arena yeah it's a cave where
Starting point is 00:57:05 that goes on it's like a man in the arena a man cranking hog in the arena dave the onus is all over you right now playboy what are you gonna do with the onus oh they're not gonna like this but it's a one seed play wow but it's a one seed play wow down goes goon the goonies baby you do it i can't you don't have to it's the goonies that sucks they're going down no chance brett's seen the goonies i've never seen good i haven't seen it i need to oh classic a classic movie what's it about it's a weird one but it's good it's definitely a weird movie it's about some little shithead kids who get into some trouble wow one really cranky old lady is there a dog that takes their baseball the guy who is really ugly they They get into a real pickle.
Starting point is 00:58:06 I like pickles. Kind of like the same lot. Yeah, he clearly has some issues, Dylan. It's not a real character, Dave. It's not a real person, I should say. You don't know that. Number six. Will Zazie's voice.
Starting point is 00:58:21 What? Versus number two, Pledge's voice. This is easy for me mmm just an update we have cosmic vibe Celsius out for delivery right now whoa that's fucking huge I know okay okay so the clip that Randy pulled yesterday for the game show hmm do you know I don't even remember that conversation we had a few of them so funny i laughed i lol'd pledge voice has yet to run its course it's great i have to vote pledge voice here i like i like doing aziz i like i like the reaction aziz gets from people but when we're like when we're all doing pledge voice together and we have that group thought going it's just it's the vibes in here just off the charts they're cosmic one would say i'm sorry um what were you saying about vibes they're cosmic sorry i just rattled Dave over there. It's going to be Pledge Voice.
Starting point is 00:59:25 It's just too good, man. It's going to be Pledge Voice. Two different voice matchups there. It's interesting. But yeah, it's got to go through. Sorry, Aziz. Oh, I'm sorry, Aziz. Sorry, you're a master of none.
Starting point is 00:59:40 Is that show still on? Yeah, but when he got like, when he was being threatened with cancellation and they were doing the new season, they kind of diverted the plot line away from him and focused on a different character. And I've always been of the thinking that if you have a successful TV show with a main character in it, that you stick with that person. Yeah, that's usually pretty good. It all came out that he was more awkward than anything, right? He didn't actually do anything. Yeah, I think that's a consensus.
Starting point is 01:00:18 Be like if Breaking Bad, it's like, well, it's actually this show. It's about Walter Jr. People might like that. What, Randy? For some reason, I was going's about Walter Jr. People might like that. What, Randy? What's up, man? For some reason, I was going to go Walter Jr. too. That's where you're going.
Starting point is 01:00:30 Dude, he just wanted a Dodge Charger. He got one. And breakfast. Love breakfast. Love breakfast. Oh, yeah. Why did he like breakfast so much? He was always eating breakfast.
Starting point is 01:00:42 Real eater. Yeah. Real eater. We've got Pw vortex bottles another easy one for me if i'm being honest this is as much as i love vortex bottles pledge has been way too much of a player in my life lately i think about the pledge uh every time i pick up pizza i think everyone everyone does. I'm voting Pledge. Sounds like Dave is too. Yeah, I'm going Pledge.
Starting point is 01:01:09 Pledge moves on. Fuck you, Miller Lite. Unless you want to sponsor. They're cowards. I would love to get sponsored by Miller Lite. I love Miller Lites. Just straight up. They just made one case of Vortex bottles for us and sent them here.
Starting point is 01:01:24 Yeah, it'd be tight. I would drink two of them. I generated millions of impressions for them. Yeah. I don't think I did millions. Again, no one will generate more impressions for a non-sponsor than this show. Yep. Yep.
Starting point is 01:01:35 I'll do it. I'll fucking go to that. I'll fucking do it. Celsius? Yep. I'll do it again. Number 12, women in STEM versus the number one seed of the washed media bracket. Ooh.
Starting point is 01:01:46 Pants beer. Two things I love. Women in STEM and dumping a... Just wet-ass pants. Dumping a frosty boy down the trousers. Because I just poured beer on myself. I have fears that I'm a bigger fan of pants beer than most people are. I love seeing a pants beer go down. Sometimes if I need to get in a good mood, I go to at pants beer on Instagram and I
Starting point is 01:02:13 go to my favorite pants beers and I just watch the boys pour beer down their pants. There's one where the guy starts off and just says, this one's for the boys. And I just love it. How does he say it? This one's for the boys? And then there's another one where the guy, I've never seen someone have such a hardcore thousand yard stare as he pours a beer down his pants. It's just truly remarkable stuff. And as much as I love women in STEM, I think we need to find out why men love pouring beer down their pants.
Starting point is 01:02:42 And so I'm going to exit them from the tournament and assign them with some research that's good i like to give a little assignment i'm doing pants beers yeah that's my vote it's going on can we can we guarantee you a pants beer to meet up this year uh randy what do you guys can i mean it's low-key a night ruiner unless you do it early on you'll be dry by the end of the night could buy some pants while you're out you could but or you could just bring an extra pair yeah but then you gotta carry around you could carry them around in your yeti yeah thing like what do you have that for well i'm gonna pour at some point tonight i'm gonna put here on my crotch there's fresh undies in here too yeah old towel okay so we're set for the next round
Starting point is 01:03:31 oh wow yeah there's some there's gonna be some killer match-ups monday is that gloopy will what you're about to play bro let's go out this weekend there's a crazy event happening. Road, road, road. There's a crazy event happening. Let's just go. Let's go. It's time for this weekend in fun. It's electric. For anyone being like, why is that so not good sounding?
Starting point is 01:04:04 It's because I played it from my phone into the microphone so so I forgot to load it up because I'm a savage. Plus, I got to add in... Gloop? It's not gloopy enough still, Randy. I didn't get a chance to make it gloopy, and also Dylan's quote from Monday of, I like to turn up. I like to turn up.
Starting point is 01:04:20 Add Dylan, add a little doohickey. Yeah, will do. Hickey. This Weekend in Fun presented by our friends over at Backer20. Roback has – or sorry, by our friends at Roback using Backer20. I've been on Roback's site a lot lately because I'm considering sending them an email being like, hey, I need this shirt stat for the little tournament I call the Masters. You ever heard of that?
Starting point is 01:04:41 Why don't you do it? Because I don't have their email. I'm going to have to have you send that email for me, Playboy. Alright. They've got it all right now. If you want straight up just Masters stuff, they got that. They got other stuff too, dude. They got that white azalea for
Starting point is 01:04:55 the Masters. They have a Zah one, David. You seen this? It's got just pizza all over it, dude. Yum. That's good. If you put it on your credit credit card you can call it the za card when you buy this as you're buying the za i'm looking at that busted bracket on there see the busted bracket's kind of nice yeah i don't think i'd know that that was a bracket unless someone said dude check out my bracket shirt it's a cool pattern see i like this green striped back
Starting point is 01:05:17 nine one i might get this one for the masters just saying. Anyway, if you want 20% off over at our friends at Roback, backer20 will get you 20% off. Backer20 on their polos, QZs, pants, shorts, anything your heart desires. Bill, what are you getting into this weekend? Thanks for asking, Will. Friday is Good Friday, no school. So Parks is going to have a buddy over Thursday. We're going to do a little sleepover at my place, and I'm actually really excited about it. Zockhart or not? Zockhart is in play.
Starting point is 01:05:50 I know Parks is a big crab legs guy. Are you going to get crab legs for the squad? I'm not going to do crab legs for the little guy in his body. Get crab legs for the squad, dude. No. You should surprise him with a Komodo dragon. I don't think so. Yeah, so we're going to sleepover Thursday.
Starting point is 01:06:02 I'm going to wake up Friday and cook them a big breakfast. We're going to go on a bike ride, maybe play a little baseball, throw some BP to them. They're both in the same league. So I'm excited for that. You're going to have a catch? Some real dad shit going on. It would be annoying if someone gave you the gift of gecko
Starting point is 01:06:16 and we just knocked on your door and ran off and you had a gecko there. I just wear my party gecko shirt and say, hey, Parks. Saturday. No, don't do that. There is a joint birthday party for my two nieces. Their birthdays are two days apart. Oh, yeah. And I'm really excited for that as well.
Starting point is 01:06:31 Down in San- What type of birthday party? Down in San Marcos Way. Can I go? It's a joint birthday party. Sweet. I'm in. Okay.
Starting point is 01:06:36 Great. You don't think Will's into a joint birthday party? Not that kind of joint. Like co-birthday party. Oh, they're having a birthday party together. Yeah. Oh, okay. I don't want to go anymore. We're not going to smoke doobies. Fritz's first birthday was abirthday party. Oh, they're having a birthday party together. Yeah. Oh, okay. I don't want to go anymore.
Starting point is 01:06:45 We're not going to smoke doobies. Fritz's first birthday was a joint birthday party. I mean, it's about as close to a weed-themed birthday party that you could have for a one-year-old. Yeah. And then I get Parks back Sunday. And I don't have plans quite yet. It's Easter Sunday. And I don't know what I'm going to do yet. It's Easter Sunday. And I don't know what I'm going to do yet.
Starting point is 01:07:06 We haven't really made plans with the fam, but we're going to do something for Easter, maybe an egg hunt of sorts. You should have a lizard pop out of an egg. Again. Yeah, what if all the eggs that you have around your place are just filled with lizards? There's tiny lizards.
Starting point is 01:07:20 How am I going to get them in there? Catch them. And put them in the egg? That's pretty much pokemon it's literally pokemon yeah logistically i just don't see it really happening and that's it i'm excited for the weekend it's gonna be a good one let me go i'm headed up north northbound 35 i'll be uh i'll be in Duncanville, Texas. Duncanville way?
Starting point is 01:07:46 Yeah. The dunk? Just south of I-20. Have they iced down the servers for your arrival? They have. They have. The server. Wait, why would that need to...
Starting point is 01:07:57 I'm trying to think logistically. Why? Because all the Hooters waitresses are all hot and bothered. Man, we've got to go to that ballpark Hooters. That was the one. We used to go play golf. Go to that ballpark Hooters waitresses are all hot and bothered. Man, we got to go to that ballpark Hooters. That was the one. We used to go play golf, go to that ballpark Hooters. That was the scene. That was another time, though.
Starting point is 01:08:13 It was my 20s. Got an Easter egg hunt tomorrow at Rhodes School tomorrow afternoon. So going to go watch that.'s his first easter egg hunt that'll be fun um fritz is fritz is doing it right now really yeah i'm missing it we got other ones in the mix though this is just his school one yeah we'll do a backyard one too at my parents place so yeah we're gonna be up there we're gonna go to – Alyssa and I are doing dinner Friday in Dallas. Going out in the town, mom and dad. Wow.
Starting point is 01:08:49 Going on a date, you know. Hooters? The Charles. It is like a – You're eating at my son's. It's a Texas – It's like a Texas-infused Italian joint. Sweet.
Starting point is 01:09:03 Alyssa assures me that all the bloggers love. Wow. I got to dress cool because I might be in the background of some cool person's Instagram video. And then, you know, there's talk of golf. My buddies up there are playing golf, but they're playing like at this place, Squaw Valley. It's like an hour away and I just don't think I could fit it in. I don't know. I don't know, man.
Starting point is 01:09:24 It's going to mainly be just kind of a, you know, go up there, hang out with the family, hopefully have good weather, maybe hop in the pool if it's nice. It won't be pool weather. I don't know what I'm talking about. It could be. It could be. Maybe it was pool weather if you're Huberman. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:41 Yeah. Yeah. How did he not catch any strays in this episode today except for right now? You know, I'll be honest. I kind of, there's been a lot of other people who've taken over my Twitter feed for reasons and I forgot about Huberman, which is five or six girlfriends at a time. Impressive stuff out of Huberman. You ever done that?
Starting point is 01:10:03 No. The idea of having like two is stressful yeah sheesh just texting them all day yeah imagine if you go golfing getting five different text messages from five different people asking what hole you're on oh my god are you gonna be finished did he have five different phones you gotta have burners, right? He had a burner. Fuck yeah. Don't condone the behavior, but just having a burner in general.
Starting point is 01:10:29 He was burning, not concerning what nobody wanted to say. Burners, when used in the right way, are objectively cool. You're going to have to get a burner once you get your Komodo guy. You don't want Parks to find out. Right. So, yeah. Low key, but a fun weekend ahead. Go ahead, Will.
Starting point is 01:10:45 My weekend's starting off, I guess, tomorrow. Brett and I are going to Las Vegas, Nevada. Las Vegas, Nevada. Do it. Vegas, baby. Thank you. Yep, we're going for a little quick 24-hour work trip, returning home around midnight on Friday.
Starting point is 01:11:07 And I will be waking up on Saturday morning to immediately start potty training my son. Really what I'm looking forward to. I cannot wait to go home and just potty train all weekend long. As much as I don't want to do it, it's time. It's got to happen. So, yeah, we've cleaned up shit this weekend. Nice. Possibly some piss as well. Nice. We'll do both. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Any tips out there from any backers, please don't hesitate to reach out
Starting point is 01:11:35 as this is my first time doing this, and I'm not looking forward to it. Have you read up on strategies? You got your shit down? I think Sally's going to send me a PDF to maybe read on the plane. I hope I don't get it mixed up with my swing tip pdfs that i have yeah different different contacts you should be fine yeah it should be uh but we'll see we'll see i don't really know nothing like vegas is so top of mind that i haven't really thought about saturday sunday yet but i gotta imagine it's gonna be pretty chill right now i'm gonna go see the chain smokers tomorrow night
Starting point is 01:12:05 actually no i kind of would i if it was offered i would absolutely do it where are they but I got to imagine it's going to be pretty chill. Right now, I'm going to go see the Chainsmokers tomorrow night. Actually? No, I kind of would. If it was offered, I would absolutely do it. Where are they doing their residency or whatever it is? Las Vegas, Nevada. Right. Las Vegas way. Right.
Starting point is 01:12:17 Okay. Do they have a residency right now? I don't know if you could call it that, but I think it technically is. They just hit play, dance around? Pretty much, yeah. That's their thing. And they're quite successful at it.
Starting point is 01:12:33 Well, I don't know what your timeline looks like, but do you think you might head to one certain hotel and see if there's one certain bartender there? If we make our way out Cosmo way, I will make sure that I go stop by there. I don't know if we're going to be at the Cosmo, but if we do make it there, I will stop by Hattie B's and get some chicken, as the line is probably
Starting point is 01:12:54 shorter than it is in Austin. And then I will try to get a picture with the infamous Cosmo bartender. Previous Bit Madness winner. Yeah. Champ. Do I need to give him something? Should I give him like a t-shirt or something? Let him know that he's won a tournament?
Starting point is 01:13:08 Give him a rollback. Yeah, give him a rollback. You following me? He's going to turn around and sell that thing. This is moisture wicking. He'll flip it for a prof. It wicks moisture. See where I'm going with this?
Starting point is 01:13:20 You follow? Hadn't seen him in a while. Hope he's doing well that guy was so electric electric stuff let's get out of here it's been fun it's been real it's been special has not been real special bye you

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