Circling Back - Playing Playstation 2 on Super Tuesday
Episode Date: March 4, 2020Dave explains that he does not in fact steal tweets, RIP Leaning Tower of Dallas, Playstation 2 turns 20 years old, Trump going scorched earth after Super Tuesday, St. Patrick's Day, and This Weekend ...In Fun. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & East Banter (17:43) Dave Doesn't Steal Tweets (28:29) PS2 Turns 20 Years Old (38:00) Unsolicited TV Recommendations (43:07) Super Tuesday (54:08) How do they turn the Chicago River green? (58:00) This Weekend In Fun Hawthorne: www.hawthorne.co (CIRCLINGBACK for 10% off) Hims: www.forhims.com/steam --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge
beautiful fall day in austin texas guys my name is will to freeze am i right dave roth
i don't think it's fall anymore tell me it it doesn't feel like an early November day out there right now.
No, it's like 65 degrees.
Yeah, in Texas.
It just doesn't have a fall feel for me.
Are you fucking kidding?
Look at it outside.
It's perfect.
It's not crisp.
There's no crispiness.
It's still muggy.
It's not crispy, dog.
You don't even know about crispiness, dog.
Come on.
We get some crisp here, dog.
You don't know shit.
When's spring start? When's the spring solstice? No one knows. about crispiness, dog. Come on. We get some crisp here, dog. You don't know shit.
When does spring start?
No one knows.
When is the spring solstice?
No one knows.
Spring is the worst season, right?
No.
Summer.
By far.
In Texas, summer.
But overall, spring, yeah.
I mean, northeast spring is cool,
but it's fourth.
It's the biggest tease in the world.
Fall, winter, spring, summer is my biggest.
I love a big tease.
Texas needs to be omitted.
If they ever have a nationwide vote,
any state that's on the bottom of the United States
just needs to be excluded from that
because there's different takes that are correct for the bottom states.
Sure.
I don't want to be in Florida in the summertime.
Actually, I don't really feel like being in Florida a lot of the time.
I'm working
a little slow today, guys. I just want to say
Super Tuesday. Tuesday?
Tuesday. Country Davis
entered the chat. West Texas Davis here.
Fucking Mayor Buttigieg over here.
He threw on a little fake
hokey accent the other day.
But Super Tuesday, really
I was up all night watching the
returns.
Cable news is such shit.
That's my take.
Thanks.
Oh.
Wow.
It's just, I say like I'm never going to watch it,
and then I'll throw on MSNBC or something just to see, like,
hey, what's going on with the politics?
They've got some, the way they break down returns in elections,
it's just, it's so gross and stupid.
Is MSNBC the move?
I don't – there is no move.
There is – yeah, you're right.
There is no move.
But MSNBC sometimes just feels like it's like – I say fake news.
It almost feels like they're just like – it's like a TV show that doubles as like –
it feels like the morning show to me.
Do you get what I'm saying?
Like they're playing news desk?
Yes, they're playing news desk.
I could see that, yes.
It's just, I don't know why.
Yeah, I get that vibe.
I mean, there's,
you know what really gives me that vibe
is like the digital news publications
that try to do everything through digital,
like Twitter, Instagram, whatever.
You can't,
and there's like green screens involved.
No.
I get cheddar. I get cheddar news on my youtube tv don't you make randy watch cheddar business
not anymore now it's usually just morning drive or like some morning show local gotcha but um
yeah cheddar's the one that has like the dude with like the the cool hipster glasses and his
his button-down sleeves are rolled up to show off his sleeved hat.
To show how hard he's working?
Yeah, but he's like kind of edgy.
Like he knows the news and like he relates to you.
You as a Gen Z or millennial.
There aren't that many misc...
We usually take advantage of the content opportunities presented to us.
I'm never going to forget the fact that you didn't get a selfie off with Beto.
He's a kid.
I know, I know, I know.
The kid ruined everything.
You should have raced over to wherever he got his meal
when he ditched a kid and gotten one there.
Where'd he go again?
Panera?
No, he went to Einstein Bros Bagels.
He might as well have just gone to Panera.
I can't speak to the merits of Einstein.
Don't do Einstein like that.
Yeah, it's not like a premier
breakfast destination.
But it's okay.
They actually make
a pretty fine breakfast sandwich.
I'll go ahead and say it.
The all-nighter.
Sounds like something you'd like.
It's a good sandwich, David.
Check it out.
What's on it?
I'm looking it up right now.
Two eggs.
Just read it.
It's going to suck, isn't it?
No.
Dude, it's good.
You guys ready to hate this?
Oh, no.
I hate this now.
Here's a free all-nighter egg sandwich, Dylan, if you want one.
There's a coupon on their site.
I prefer to pay for mine.
Actually, no, it expired 11-24-19, so shouts to Einstein.
McKenna's actually running it.
She's their webmaster.
It says, looks like you had one epic night.
Then you deserve an equally epic breakfast.
Our new all-nighter is designed to soak up last night's fun of two fresh cracked eggs,
bacon, two slices of American cheese, jalapeno garlic aioli,
and a fresh-baked cheesy hash brown gourmet bagel.
That sounds pretty good.
It slaps, I'm telling you.
Is the aioli necessary?
Can you just get it and not have it on a bagel since bagels are cardboard?
That's technically three eggs since, like, mayo is made with eggs, you know?
Yeah.
The bagel part of it is fine, Dave.
It's a good sandwich, man.
What if you just replaced the bagel with a Cole Haan driving loafer?
Would you taste any difference?
Probably so, yeah.
I don't know if I could bite through a Cole Haan loafer.
We're short on content, so I'm just trying to stir up the bagel breakfast taco fight that we've
done every year for the last six months.
I'm not going to lie. If I ate this sandwich and I wasn't
hungover, I would feel hungover after eating the sandwich.
I don't know if I could do that.
It doesn't sound that bad. It's good.
Maybe I don't need the extra slice of cheese.
Show me.
You get it. That's a big-ass breakfast.
It doesn't look like that, I promise you.
Dude, that's what it looks like.
That's not what it looks like. I'm a parfait boy. Just as soft of a breakfast as you can have. It doesn't look like that, I promise you. Dude, that's what it looks like. That's not what it looks like.
I'm a parfait boy.
Just, like, as soft of a breakfast as you can have.
It's too sugary.
Yeah, a lot of sugar.
No, I don't.
I limit the sugar.
Get that sugar out of here.
You know who has the worst pre-made breakfast?
And I'll just add them.
I'm drinking their cold brew right now.
Starbucks.
Their little sandwiches.
Ooh.
Oh.
Tread lightly.
They're very greasy.
Overly greasy. Sometimes give you lightly. Very greasy. Overly greasy.
Sometimes give you acid
reflux.
They just zap it in the
microwave to it.
They're all pre-made and
shipped or nuke it.
Remember when we went to
Dallas for the meetup and
I got that ham and cheese
sandwich.
It looked terrible.
No, it didn't do it.
It looked really good and
I ate it and it was good.
I honestly don't remember
that.
Was that in the car?
No, I pounded it while waiting for coffee outside of the car.
Is that when we had that business call?
Yeah.
Yeah, that was when we were all rushing.
Yeah.
And I was just sitting.
I was standing over the garbage can eating my sandwich,
trying to do it as fast as possible so I could get in the car.
Wasn't that in Waco?
I think we skipped Waco because of all the traffic or something.
It's not really important.
No.
Not at all.
Who else is doing business calls going 70 in a torrential downpour?
Yeah, it wasn't great.
Tough day.
Oh, yeah.
Speaking of, man.
Nice little line of storms this morning.
It was just pitter-pattering all over my window as I was laying there with Rosie.
A lot of pitter-patter.
Let's get at her.
We needed it.
Yeah, I think we're at a surplus, but...
Yeah, I don't think we truly needed it.
I actually think things have been
looking pretty good around here lately.
Oh, okay.
I checked my rain gauge.
We got an inch and a quarter at the house.
Seems like a lot.
Do you have a rain gauge?
I do.
Okay.
Did we actually get that much rain? We did. Wow. lot do you have a rain gauge i do okay we actually get that much
rain we did wow how does one acquire a rain gauge i purchased it did that come stock with the house
no are you in like the nielsen network of rain gauges like you have to report i don't trust i
don't trust that i always feel like that there's some some home some dude who's like homeowner
excuse me that's what i said i was gonna say that sounded bad uh who's like homeowner excuse me. I was going to say. That sounded bad.
Who's like juicing his stats
to get play on
the local news.
Whoa we got like 6 inches
in bee caves.
Dude it was like 3 and a half.
Well that's what Big Weather does dude.
Whatever weather apps you have on your phone
they're just gassing their stats.
Looking for that screenshot.
Damn.
You're noted against big weather.
Makes you think.
You can't trust it.
I feel like, Dave, if we had big weather.
Like weather.com.
Oh, okay.
That's the worst site.
It'll make your computer explode.
Don't go to it.
All their site signals to me is that they are struggling.
Because they are just shoving ads down your throat.
They're really trying
to monetize.
I'm going to give them a page view
right now. Yeah, it starts off okay and then
it is a slippery slope
from there. Yeah, it just punches you in the face with
fucking ads.
Hey, you guys hear about the
South by Southwest meetup we're having on March 17th
at 1130 at Augustine on Rainy Street?
Let's go ahead and assume that coronavirus is not going to wipe out South by Southwest.
I'm hopeful that it's not.
Same.
We have an email from the Patreon folks that said it's on.
Although considering it's a festival that draws in a lot of people from outside the city,
it makes you think maybe it's for the best if they cancel it.
But I hope they don't.
Because first of all, I'm not even afraid of coronavirus.
I'm not going to give a stab at that.
Not at all, man.
I am.
And two, we have a meetup.
I know I shouldn't be afraid of it, but big media is getting to me.
Now I'm on high alert.
I hate it.
I'm afraid of it like I'm afraid of the flu and the common cold.
I know that there's different levels of severity,
but I don't want to get any of them because it's going to put me out
for at least a few days, and I can't do that.
I have a responsibility to the listeners and to you, mainly Brett.
If people start quarantining themselves,
we're just going to do it in the office, right?
We're not missing a podcast because of this shit.
H-E-B on Brody is out of toilet paper.
Ooh.
What?
How is that possible?
People are hocking up on supplies.
Why is toilet paper among them?
I guess so they can wipe their bottoms.
Okay, well, why would a virus-
Yeah, people have to wipe their ass.
Why would a virus make people want to load up on toilet paper
is my question.
In case they get the butt flu, Dylan.
Or...
So they don't have to go out
and get necessities later in the game
when it's just like running rampant.
Right, it's just people just
go way overboard with this shit.
If you text me
when this is at like high alert
and you're asking me for toilet paper,
I'll give you some,
but just know that you need to hang your head low when you come to my apartment and get it. me for toilet paper, I'll give you some, but just know that
you need to hang your head low
when you come to my apartment
and get it.
It's not going to come to that
for me or anybody else in the city.
I'm just saying.
We're going to be okay.
Don't make me be your toilet paper plug.
No, don't worry.
I can see Dylan not using toilet paper.
He strictly baby wipes.
He just gets in the shower.
I have a buddy who does that are you serious you can't do
that like every time so gross man why what's his thinking that's like the least green thing ever
yeah well i don't want to get too graphic it's it's not it's not pretty i think we all know
what's going on do we i don't know does he have a removable shower head yes we? I don't know. Does he have a removable shower head? Yes or no?
I don't know that part.
Yeah, that seems like a good question.
That's an important thing when you do notes.
But he has, like, a number of wipes that he does every single time.
No matter how, like, bad it is, like, how messy it is downstairs.
Like, he'll do, like, three, and then he's done no matter what.
Oh, that's not, no.
Or maybe it's two. I don't know. And then he gets in the shower three and then he's done no matter what. Oh, that's not, no. Or maybe it's two.
I don't know. And then he gets in the shower.
Then he gets in the shower.
Does he always get in the shower if he's home? No.
Oh, okay.
Sometimes he does it at work.
There's no shower there, so he just... It's fucking gross.
What is his defense?
I don't really know.
How often is he R-dubbing?
He thinks it's funny.
Does he R-dub quite a bit?
Can you, what does that mean?
Rewipe.
Yeah, yeah.
Sorry, man.
Look, he'll go back in like hours later and be like,
I feel like I need to wipe again, and he'll do it.
That's so bad.
He's been walking around.
Oh, my God.
I'm not going to call his name out. I don't think he listens.
Have I met this gentleman?
Probably.
Yeah, you have.
It's not the Toad, is it?
No, I'm not shaking this guy's hand.
There's no way the Toad does a three-point stance.
Wait, why do I remember that?
I don't know.
It's so funny to me.
Have you played golf with the Toad?
He puts a hand on the floor when he does it.
When you play golf with the Toad?
Yeah.
Okay, I don't know. I feel like that's one of those things that's been added to it. No you played golf with the Toad? He puts a hand on the floor when he does it. When he wipes? Yeah. Okay, I don't know.
I feel like that's one of those things that's been added to it.
No. Does he really? Oh, yeah.
He's very open about it. He's also about 6'7".
No, he's 6'5".
He puts off 6'7 vibes
and he looks like W.
I don't like this.
You guys know way too much about your boys and their
wiping habits. It's a college thing.
College, yeah.
Have you played golf with a toad?
I just asked that.
Uh-huh.
Okay.
Last time I saw him, when I went to Park's birthday,
the one that I was invited to like a year ago,
we talked about playing golf.
We haven't played yet.
He's not great.
That's fine. That's a conversation.
I put up a 40.
Oh, dude, let's get together and play golf.
Dude, let's play golf sometime.
We absolutely did.
Exchange numbers
Like yeah dude
I think he plays quite a bit
For his job
And
Yeah it just hasn't materialized
I think he's a north sider though
You know I can't get up there
I'm south side
I have a couple of those
Like social contacts
That you see
And like
Like
One of them
We just talk about golf
All the time
That's not a bad thing
To talk about
But like
As someone who's not
Playing as much as I used to be
and as someone who's not really watching that much right now,
it's getting increasingly difficult for me,
and I don't really know what to do.
I need to get our friendship to the next level
where we have, like, other personal conversations outside of golf.
I will go on record saying that I'm only going to be doing the foot tap hello
with everybody at the South by Southwest meetup.
Okay.
I'm going to dap you up with my feet instead of my hands like on that video.
Yeah.
Yeah, I had a guy in my apartment yesterday be like, oh, hey, Brett, what's up?
And shook my hand.
I hesitated going.
I was like, dude, I want to do this.
I just don't want to do this.
I wanted to just elbow or something like that.
And I shook his hand and washed my hands after.
I'm strictly knuckles. I went. I was like elbow elbow or something like that. And I shook his hand and then washed my hands after. I'm strictly knuckles.
I went.
I was like, elbow, knuckle, and he just, nope, handshake.
You have to go, you just lead first with knuckles.
I tried.
He was adamant.
So if I'm patient zero, sorry, guys.
I feel like there's no way you could be patient zero.
Many people, like hundreds of thousands of people have gotten this.
Is it 100,000?
At least.
Worldwide?
Yeah.
Nine deaths in the
U.S. as of today.
R.I.P.
Isn't Washington
getting hit pretty
hard?
I think they had
the first death.
They probably have
multiple.
I think they have
the most right now.
How many Austin
cases we got?
To be clear, they're
not mosting.
They have the most.
Yeah, they have the
D-most, not mosting.
Austin, TBD. Hard to say.
It is in Austin.
It's on the ground here.
FYI.
Still not worried.
I'm worried about you.
Nah, don't be, man. And your lack of worry.
I'm a pretty clean guy. I wash up pretty regularly.
Good.
Keep the homies' hands clean, though.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yesterday.
You know how kids be.
Can you confirm or deny that he was in the principal's office yesterday when you had to leave the episode?
No, he was not in the principal's office, but he was in the principal's office the week before.
Did I say that?
We talked about that.
Yeah, that's why I said it yesterday.
I was like, I didn't want to out him as being in the principal's office the week before.
I was going to let you do that.
Yeah, he got into it with one of his classmates.
Dude, hell yes.
And I talked to him, and he let me know he was defending himself, which I'm proud.
Any word on what style of martial arts he used to defend himself?
He didn't use the jiu-jitsu that he took 20 minutes of,
unfortunately.
Hey, our dude Andy said
that they do a kid's class.
Really?
Yeah.
But he did strike his classmate.
I've been working on it.
Did he open hand slap him?
I think he used a fist.
And I tried to explain it to him,
you can't let other people
affect your emotions that way.
But if someone's coming at you, you have every right to defend yourself.
I've been trying to get him to work the body a little bit more.
And he assured me that he was defending himself.
So I'm like, all right, I'm proud of you, buddy.
Blink twice if you taught him a proper punching technique after this.
No, I have not.
I've not taught him how to throw an actual punch.
Oh, he knows now.
I just told him, like, don't let anybody make you a punk, you know.
And so he's good about that.
Okay.
He gets a little reckless.
His hands get a little low.
I'm like, dude, you got to keep those hands up.
But he's a little cocky right now.
He's 1-0.
He leaves himself exposed.
Yeah, like he gets in there with the wrong matchup, it's going to be over.
But I think we can fix it before it happens.
Is it true that when he did this, he put his hands behind his back before he threw the punch?
Oh, he's just showboating.
I can't believe he got sent to the principal's office.
That's swag, though.
That's tight.
That's tight.
What a guy.
He's great.
Man, where do we go from here?
I think we talk about the fact that two-thirds of men out there
are just losing their hair by the age of 35.
Yeah, wow.
Why are people talking about corona and not this?
I don't know.
This is plaguing more people than corona virus is.
That's for fucking sure.
Yeah.
I'm talking about patient zero.
I mean, whether it's a bald spot or just your hairline creeping back.
All right.
What?
I don't know why you look at me when you say these things.
I wasn't looking at you at all.
I was doing a thousand-yard stare overtt's shoulder sorry go ahead but you're not one of these guys
that turns to weird solutions when you can turn to medicine and science i mean brett knows sure do
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You're a preventative boy, right?
Prevent defense, that's right.
Wow.
Yep.
Been on it for years, and can't say enough.
I do the gummy and the pill, the little hair pill.
Sexual wellness is fine.
My libido is not trash at that guy.
I'm sure it's not, man.
Okay.
I'm sure it's not.
Not yet, anyway.
But that's the thing.
Even if it was, and you're saying this publicly, all this is just discreet. at that guy. I'm sure it's not, man. Okay. I'm sure it's not. Not yet, anyway. But that's the thing.
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Get your flow going again.
Get your flow going, and I'll tell you what,
if you even feel a little bit of thinning, get on it.
Because mine stopped in its tracks on him.
Dave, Dallas had a big night last night, or at least Duncanville did.
The DFW area, not only did we have the Leaning Tower of Dallas finally fall,
but we had Clay going live from the Duncanville varsity basketball game.
Correct.
Both the men's and women's team are making deep playoff runs. in the Duncanville varsity basketball game. Correct.
Both the men's and women's team are making deep playoff runs.
So this was playoffs last night? This was playoffs.
Where was this game taking place?
I don't know where it was exactly.
Some high school.
They obviously played a neutral site in the playoffs.
But they were playing Grand Prairie, the Gophers.
Home to Selena Gomez.
That's where she was brought up.
I don't think she lives there anymore.
Something tells me she doesn't.
But, yeah, they were down like – they were down 10 in the first quarter.
I think Grand Prairie beat them early on in the season.
It was kind of a revenge game.
Don't give a crap back.
Forced OT.
Then Klay went live.
He was texting us updates.
I was like, dude, go live.
If it gets good in the last minute, you know, possession game, go live.
And he did.
And I don't know if you all watched, but it wasn't exactly 4K.
No, no.
The stream leads a little bit to be desired.
It was like a two megapixel.
Just two, huh?
And you couldn't see the scoreboard and you couldn't
really tell what was happening like you knew i i kind of knew just from following twitter what the
score was but it came down to uh dunkerville hitting some free throws and grand prairie
missing on like a hail mary final possession but it was electric he invited me into his live
unexpectedly and of course I took the invitation.
The numbers skyrocketed once you joined.
It did.
How does that work?
Do people get a notification that I am live as well?
They must have.
They must have, yeah.
I've never done such a thing.
Actually, I did it at your wedding, but I still don't remember how that all went down.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I was on that one.
The martinis were flown.
Who actually remembers this?
Yeah, it got ugly.
It wasn't good content.
So the Panthers took it home, huh?
They did, so
That's great
Yeah, they played this weekend
I believe in San Antonio
Go if you're real, dude
I might
I'm on
I'm gonna see what this Corona's doing
And then maybe I'll
The virus or the
Just like the actual beer?
No, no, the Vi
Okay
Okay
Okay, I'm trying to go viral But, you know, not like that And then maybe I'll get it. The virus or just like the actual beer? No, no, the Vi. Okay. Okay.
I'm trying to go viral, but, you know, not like that.
So, yeah, it was a big night.
Do you have any parting words for the Leaning Tower of Dallas?
Small because it happened. Small because it happened.
Like I've always said.
Dude, why are you stealing tweets, man?
Yeah.
Okay.
People are saying that you're stealing tweets, dude.
You're a content guy. Like, you need to take this? Yeah. Okay. People are saying that you're stealing tweets, dude. You're a content guy.
Like, you need to take this more seriously.
So.
What's your problem?
I went and played a Power 9 the other day.
Went and played Kaiser.
They sent me out on the back.
I played solo.
Again?
This is Tuesday.
Oh, sorry.
Monday.
Monday.
And I was doing a good job of not being on my phone.
I was listening to some AM radio, some sports radio through the Bluetooth.
Brought the BTS out, of course.
Fits perfectly in the cup holder.
It's so convenient.
And got to, I think, hole eight.
And I popped open Twitter because I had to wait.
I think I said this yesterday.
I caught up to this group of old guys, and they were so slow.
And I saw the video.
The tower's down.
Tower fell.
They finally got that thing down.
So, like, first thing that popped into my head was, like,
oh, I'm going to quote tweet this vid.
Smile because it happened.
You know, it's paraphrasing the quote, don't cry because it's over, right?
Get home about
an hour later like i showered ate dinner look at my phone i'm scrolling through twitter see uh
uh i guess a friend of the show frequent commenter luca don't think thick his name is landry to play
on the guy's last he had tweeted out the entire quote,
don't cry because it's oversmart because it happened,
with a different video or photo.
And I was like, God damn it.
I know how this looks.
Even if it's like 10 people who saw that,
no one had called me out, but it's still like,
okay, I got to acknowledge this.
I still don't think he believes me.
I think he thinks I stole his tweet.
I'm not a tweet stealer.
I don't know. The resume
says differently right now.
The risk of being labeled as a
tweet stealer going
forward is not worth the reward
of me getting 15
RTs. It wasn't a great tweet. It was just
a niche Dallas tweet.
Some people who like the podcast
will enjoy it.
So yeah,
my bad.
I mean,
I apologize
if he was offended.
Just be better, man.
Okay.
I didn't still tweet.
I think if you went
and looked at the numbers,
looked at the data
under the back end
of my phone,
you would see that
I never saw the tweet.
I'm not going
into the back end
of your phone.
I knew I'd get called out.
Don't y'all both follow him?
Will, you might not. I do. Does Will? I don't know. Oh, that of your phone. I know I get called out. Don't you all both follow him? Will, you might not.
I do.
Does Will?
I don't know.
Oh, that's a no.
I don't know.
So it sounds like this is more about Will not following him than me.
Let's see.
Coincidentally having the same tweet as him.
The last person I followed was Fat Tony, the dude in the video doing Neon Moon remixes.
I listen to his stuff, by the way, on Spotify at the gym.
Are people going to catch us backstage at that concert or what?
That's a show where we will be the least cool people.
After listening to his stuff?
I'm just saying, the offer's out there to go backstage if we want to go backstage.
Where's it at?
I forget the name.
Downtown Austin.
This is one of those things where we say we're going to go and then it's not going to happen.
You're going to back out.
He told me to hit him up.
Fat Tony and I are boys now.
It's the biggest add to my network I've had in a really long time i'll go i gotta find a
cool outfit i gotta go buy some supreme i was gonna say this has this has dave like this coincides
with payday and you're gonna end up going to nordstrom and buying something ridiculous oh god
you're right now i'm gonna go up to the North Park Mall and buy this shirt that Brett almost
had to wear because he lost odds.
The martini shirt?
Yeah.
The martini shirt.
I was so hungover when we did that that I didn't even realize that you had lost, and
I thought I had lost, and I was like, damn it, I have to wear this fucking shirt to the
meetup.
And then once I realized you had lost, I was like, man, we can't make him buy this $180
fucking shirt.
Well, we were going to buy it for him.
We could have put it on the company.
That's true.
It was flames, man.
I don't know if flames is the right way to describe that shirt.
Dude, are you?
Come on.
I almost wore it at my wedding.
No, you didn't.
Yeah, I did.
No, you didn't.
Was the worst shirt you could ever own in being a going out guy just an express black button down?
Oh.
That just reeks of like you're in a ton of credit card debt.
You're really trying to put on a show. It ain't working out with the ladies, and you're in a ton of credit card debt. You're really trying to put on a show.
It ain't working out with the ladies, and you're just desperate,
and you use a lot of hair product.
You're a professional spring breaker.
It's funny you say that.
You wore a white tux to prom.
I actually did wear a partially white coat to prom.
What, Will?
Nothing.
You can say something really stupid, probably.
No, let's hear it.
No.
I believe in it.
No.
Come on.
The take has been retired.
Wow.
It will no longer hit the verbal timeline.
Yeah, the dark-colored button-down.
We used to roast those guys so hard.
Banana Republic or Express.
Like, oh, my God.
Relentless.
Why was it such a bad look?
Because they wore jeans with it.
And, like, blue jeans, dark button-down untucked, and, like, black shoes.
Black dress shoes?
Yeah.
Oh, if you wore the square-toed dress shoes, it was over.
Black sleds.
Ugh.
Not even sleds.
Like, just lace-up or, God forbid, just slip-on square-toe.
Oh, my God.
I don't really, like, I hate square-toed anything.
I do, too.
Square-toed cowboy boots?
I'm like, why are we doing this?
Same.
You could do that if you're...
But only if you own an oil services company in West Texas.
Yeah, you better know how to, like, ranch.
Yeah, you need to know how to castrate a cow with, like, in under 60 seconds if you have that.
I feel like you don't have to do it in under 60 seconds.
You do.
You have to. I feel like you don't have to do it in under 60 seconds. You do. You have to.
I feel like that's dangerous.
But you have to be, like, actually country to pull off square toe boots.
Yeah.
And then it's like, eh.
Yeah.
Come on.
There needs to be a little blood on those boots that you can't get out.
You're just trying to scrub it out.
It's just not happening.
A lot of blood.
Yeah, blood from what?
Because you're fucking cutting balls off and shit.
Okay.
You're still stuck on the castration?
Yeah.
Okay. How about insemination? People still stuck on the castration. Okay.
How about insemination?
People have to inseminate cattle.
You just have cow residue on your...
I'm just saying.
Talking about semen here.
I am.
I am talking about semen.
Well, rest in peace to the Leaning Tower of Dallas.
Man, I'm kind of bummed I never made it up there.
I wanted to get a self off with it.
Well, Dave, don't be sad.
A self?
Don't be sad that it's over.
Did you just abbreviate selfie?
I did.
What were you saying, Dylan?
I was going to say don't be sad that it's over.
Smile because it happened.
Yeah.
Did you just steal a tweet from Dave that Dave stole?
You stole, yeah.
I stole a smile because my tweet did more numbers than Landry's.
Oh, that's fucked up.
He's the viral guy.
He's the viral tweet guy.
Dude, if he pushes you at the next meetup.
He shows up for six minutes and leaves.
He just talks to Aztec guy and leaves.
Love it.
Aztec guy, Mark, I'll call him by his name.
He's there the whole time.
You're going to put some respect on his name?
He's wearing custom shirts.
Did you guys see the PS2 turn 20 today?
Yeah.
How about that, huh?
Makes me feel a little bit old.
Yeah, I was telling you, this one, and I think I had the original Xbox 2,
the last consoles that I owned.
I had both of them, I think.
That was a lot of dudes in our demographics' last console, the PS2.
Yeah, that was my last one.
That's when it started getting advanced, advanced.
You're like, okay, we're really going full throttle.
Well, the jump from PS1 to PS2 was, I mean, I don't know that much about gaming right
now, but I feel like it was the biggest jump in gaming in our lives.
PS1 is NBA Jam, right? That's a PlayStation?
No, dude. Oh, that's Nintendo. Super Nintendo,
dude. What?
I asked a question. Is that why you lose every time to me?
Because you just, like, don't know what you're doing out there?
You know when video games
kind of pass me by is when you had
to control, like,
there were two joysticks. Oh,
I still can't do it. It's so hard.
I can't look up and, like, go to the side at the same time.
Right?
What are you trying to get me to do?
When you go forward and then you turn with the other one?
No.
What the fuck's that about?
That's a sign of weakness.
It left that.
That's why I couldn't do the drone.
That's why I can't.
I'm scared to get a drone because I know I'm going to fuck it up.
If I can't do it on a video game, I can't do it in real life.
That's when I was like, I'm about to get slaughtered in these fighter games.
I just can't do it.
So I did.
I retired. Brett, were you even born when do it. So I did. I retired.
Brett, were you even born when PS2 dropped?
I was.
Did you have one?
Never had PS2.
Xbox 360 was the first console I had after GameCube.
I had that.
You were a GameCube guy.
I had a GameCube, yeah.
I feel like GameCube underwhelmed.
Dude, we used to bully GameCube kids.
It was fun. I didn't play it a underwhelmed. Dude, we used to bully GameCube kids. It was fun.
I didn't play it a lot.
It was more like SSH Tricky.
It's weird they turned the GameCube into a vehicle.
The Nissan Cube.
Yeah, shouts to J-Bone.
J-Bone and his brother made a career off of it.
That was cool.
It's quite the pivot.
But no, Xbox 360 was the first console console I had.
But yeah, no, PS2 was tight though.
You're right about the jump in quality.
So we were talking about the games that we had on PS2 before the pod.
I went and pulled up some best PS2 games.
It had some absolute heaters.
Go on.
Okay.
How about the GTAs?
I had both San Andreas and Vice City.
I think my last one was San Andreas.
Vice City was my shit.
I couldn't stop playing it.
I just loved being in South Beach just, like, hitting jumps with my motorcycle.
Killing prostitutes.
Killing prostitutes, taking their money, listening to, like,
they had, like, an 80s station on there that you could listen to.
It was just, it was the best.
Ready to Rumble, which I
contend is a top 10 game of all time, a top
5 sports game of all time, the boxing game.
That wasn't the EA one though, right? No, no, no.
That was not EA. Okay.
The game that we were trying to figure out, I'm sure
it's not that hard to look up, but that
was a good game as well.
Dude, Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell.
Sneak around in the dark with night vision.
It was sick.
I was not good enough at Splinter Cell to excel at that game.
I played it at my buddy's house, and I was like,
yep, not buying this one.
I'm just not sneaky enough.
That's not a game you play at your buddy's house
because it's like a slow-paced, sneaky, one-person game. Yeah, that's a game you play at your buddy's house because it's like a slow-paced, sneaky,
one-person game.
Yeah, that's a game you play at home on a Friday because you're on Friends.
I don't want to watch you play fucking Splinter Cell right now, dude.
Exactly.
Are you really going to make me sit in your dark-ass basement playing Splinter Cell?
What about NCAA football?
Is that on there?
That's a GOAT game.
Is that a PS2?
Is that when it started coming out?
I don't know if that's when it's...
Surely they had it on there.
But that's what was happening.
Pro Skater, Tony Hawk?
There's a documentary out about Tony Hawk Pro Skater,
or there's one coming out.
I'm in.
I can't wait to see it.
That's all you have on it.
I think I was the best.
I will say I think I'm the best Tony Hawk Pro Skater player
in this room right now.
You're definitely better than I am.
Yep.
That's probably fair.
All the FIFAs were out.
You know your boy was playing that.
I had a roommate in college that would get home from class wanting to watch the news or something.
And he would always be playing FIFA.
I was a big news guy back then.
The news.
I was big into politics.
Super Tuesday.
PolySci, maybe.
PolySci, man.
Thucydides and shit.
GamesRadar.com ranks Metal Gear Solid 3
as the number one PS2 game of all time.
Metal Gear, those are classics.
I never played Metal Gear.
They also have Resident Evil,
stuff that I just didn't play.
Resident Evil was one I never stuck with.
I think I played the first or second one, and it was just a little too scary for me.
We were such dorks that I would actually bring my PlayStation in a backpack
any time I went over to my buddy's house.
I'd unplug it from my TV, bring it over, and we would just unleash that bitch.
That's some nerd shit, man.
One time my parents came. I think the fans stopped working on my PlayStation, so it would overheat
all the time, and it would really aggravate us.
And my parents came home one night after going to a party, and my buddy and I were just sitting
on the floor playing, and on top of the PlayStation was a towel.
And then my dad had one of those giant handle bottles of Bombay Sapphire, and we had put it on top of the PlayStation,
hoping to cool it down since the fan was broken.
And my parents immediately looked really mad.
Like, are you guys kidding?
You're just drinking?
And we're like, no, the fan broke.
We're just trying to fix the PlayStation.
And they were like, God.
I think my dad at that point would have rather had me drinking.
I thought you were going to say that your parents came home from being at a party,
and your dad was a little sauced up and he just took
a bat to your PS2 for no reason.
Don't take my gin out of the freezer.
You guys need to be outside.
Go on the football.
That doesn't sound like Ross at all.
Nah, he doesn't give a fuck about throwing football.
I used to play a little Twisted Metal too.
Y'all ever play that one? Yeah, that game, my buddies
had it. I never bought it.
I don't know.
That was fun.
That was a good one.
It was just Demolition Derby, right?
Essentially.
With weapons, yeah.
With weapons.
The clown on the cover just kind of scared me.
It was a scary clown.
Dude, once you weaponize a vehicle, all bets are off.
Shoot missiles and shit at them.
It's tight.
My parents, for Christmas, it was when PS2 was a big deal.
You couldn't get them anywhere.
They were sold out everywhere. My dad won one and he got one at like an auction in
our hometown and i think he got it for like the exact price that it cost so it didn't really like
whatever for a good cause but they gave me a bunch of games from like walmart for christmas
and then after i got done opening all my games they were like so bad news we had to get on a
list at walmart for a playstation it'll be delivered in march and i went nuclear i was just like i cried i was like are you fucking kidding me
like i can't play my place i have all these games that you gave me and i can't play them for two
months five minutes later my dad walks out with like a big box that was clearly the playstation
and he must have he probably considered just putting it back in the closet and being like
yeah this this ungrateful little prick is not going to get this until March.
I didn't deserve it.
And that's that.
And happy 20th birthday to the PS2.
Can drink next year.
Can have that Bombay Sapphire.
Wow.
I've since switched.
I'm a pure Xbox guy.
So the most,
the most current one is a PS4.
Yeah.
They've only upgraded twice in 20 years.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Makes you think.
I mean,
FIFA is like the exact same game as it was like every single year.
The only reason you pay $60 every year to get the new one is to update the
rosters.
So,
but isn't that,
can't you do that already?
It updates them. But then then once the transfers started happening
and the summer and stuff, like the big moves,
they won't update the old games to that,
so you have to get the new ones.
Smart.
It's really annoying.
Was the clown the one on Twisted Metal
who drove the ice cream truck?
Yeah.
Dude, the ice cream truck, that was sick.
It was creepy.
Damn.
The clown, dude, that's why I didn't like the game.
You were sick. Clown on the cover. Clown The clown, dude. That's why I didn't like the game. You were scared.
Clown on the cover.
Clowns do scare me.
I've never seen It or It 2 or whatever those movies are called.
They're called It.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, not for me.
Well, I've got news.
I am caught up on The Outsider.
Dylan.
I'm enjoying it.
This is not an Outsider podcast.
This last one was good.
But, okay.
Intern Klon. We're in a group text with him.
You guys don't know who he is.
He's a guy who just begged and begged us for an internship for the longest time,
and then we finally gave it to him.
We caved.
We caved.
Even though he didn't really do anything.
That's probably our fault.
But he said that it's about three episodes too long, and he's right.
There was about a three-episode stretch where it's like,
you could have done this in one episode.
Kind of dragging.
It's been in a lot of tires.
It still has my attention.
It's making the same mistakes that a lot of Stephen King made for TV
or recreations on TV.
What's that?
When someone says something that's very Stephen King, what does that mean?
What?
When someone said, I didn't something that's very Stephen King, what does that mean? When someone said,
I didn't know it was a Stephen King show when I
watched the first two episodes and I was all the way in.
And then someone's like, oh, it's
very Stephen King. And I was like,
that doesn't mean anything to me because I've never read a Stephen King book.
Supernatural. Okay.
Involves kids.
Death of kids.
Unexplainable.
Now it's... Why does he kill kids?
Stephen King does not.
But the, spoiler, the being.
Probably because it's like the darkest form of murder.
Not all of his movies, but a lot of them are.
But it culminates in them going to the sewer to go after this Pennywise's clown or whatever the fuck.
Wow.
This, now they're going to the caves.
Wow.
Look at that.
It's just like, I don't know.
Look at you, Dave.
And, you know, I'm not a Stephen King aficionado.
That could just be, like, coincidental.
Could just be those two.
But it's fine.
I'm going to stick with it.
I've committed.
I'm a three into Narcos.
I'm definitely finishing that this weekend.
Very stoked.
Check out my stoked face.
Oh.
Oh.
That's sick, man.
That's the noise I made.
You should get a GoPro.
You should have heard me last night at boxing, Dylan.
You were doing it again?
I've transitioned into...
Really?
Yeah.
Good for you, man.
The dude next to me was going hard on the heavy bag.
There's some young bucks in there that are getting after it.
They make me feel young again.
They make me feel old, but I want to be young.
You think I was the oldest guy in there the last time I went?
I had to be, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Which makes me the second oldest.
I feel good about that.
I'm surprised you asked that question.
Why?
I don't know.
It opens yourself up.
He's always doing that.
What am I going to do about my age?
You're the king of opening yourself up. I can't do anything about my age,
so I'm just going to embrace it and not let
people use it against me. We know what they say.
You're only as old as you feel?
It's nothing but a number. And it's nothing but a number.
That's right.
Do you guys want an unsolicited show recommendation?
Not really.
Sex Education on Netflix.
Two seasons.
Wildly entertaining show.
I downloaded it. I was recommended it to
watch from
my now brother-in-law, Drew.
He's on the road to recovery, by the way.
We gotta give a shout-out to him.
Shout-out to Drew. He was in a ski accident this past week.
He's recovering well.
Hoping all the best to him. Yeah, shout out to Drew. He was in a ski accident this past week. He's recovering well. Good.
Hoping all the best for him.
Very scary.
He'll be back.
He'll be back to his, and he'll be cockier than ever.
He'll be back to his cocky self in no time.
He'll be big time on us in no time.
Yeah, Drew's electric.
I hope all the best for him in his recovery.
Sex education, so I downloaded all the episodes, and I started watching them sex education it was so i downloaded all the episodes
and i started watching them on the plane on the way home from the wedding and i did not realize
that the first scene is very very explicit sexy yeah so i was just holding my phone up like you
know watching it like you do on a plane do you hold it yeah i hold it until my arms get tired
and then i find a book or something and I prop it up against that on the table.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, yeah, the first scene,
there's just body parts flapping everywhere,
so just be careful.
Do you get to see nudity?
Yeah, there's a lot of nudity.
Male and female?
Very, yes.
There's a lot of boners in season two.
I'll say that.
They show a real boner.
Boners happen.
Yikes.
Boners happen.ikes owners happen i've
always said that yep it's a good show though just watch just check it out i will check it out it's
like an mtv uh teen comedy at first but then as you go on you're like okay this is legit and the
one of the main uh female leads looks like a carbon copy of margot robbie very weird
very weird yeah this is some education I could get behind.
The only weird thing is that it is about high schoolers
and they're having sex.
And so because you see nudity, you feel uncomfortable.
But then you realize, well, they wouldn't do this
if they were under the age.
They're probably 28.
Yeah, they're probably like Brett's age.
Hey, 25.
Yeah.
Still strange to me that they would show nudity
for characters that are supposed to be in high school, though.
I agree.
That's the new rage.
What's the show, the drug show, HBO, that was real depressing that everybody's all in on?
Oh, yeah, I forget.
I didn't want to watch that.
All the kids are on E! and Molly and shit.
Oh, Euphoria?
Yeah.
I feel like you see some nudity in that. Oh, forphoria? Yeah. I feel like you see some nudity in that.
Oh, for real?
Oh.
Who knew?
Well, thanks for putting that on the rundown.
Yeah.
After you did the segment.
Oh, it's for your captions.
Okay.
Timestamp, dude.
I have to update this shit, dog.
That makes sense.
That makes sense.
Come on.
I have to update the tangents.
Brett, why don't you start doing that?
I could be doing that.
No, it's hard for Brett, though, because I have the timestamps right in front of me.
That's a great point.
So, you know, just pulling back the curtain here. That's a great point. Brett would have to get really good at reading numbers upside that? I could be doing that. No, it's hard for Brett, though, because I have the time stamps right in front of me. That's a great point. So, you know, like, just pulling back the curtain here.
That's a great point.
Brett would have to get really good at reading numbers upside down.
I could try.
Can you recognize people's faces upside down?
Are you a super recognizer upside down?
I don't know about upside down, but I can usually, like, I just need, like, a glimpse of, like, the side of someone's face.
Could you recognize somebody if they were flipped over, maybe?
And reversed it?
What are you talking about? Huh? Like, if you were in like uh the position like a six and the other person was in like eight nine could you recognize that person wait if what say again yeah can you explain it
another way oh i really didn't know what you're talking about i get it now just answer the
question uh sure yeah sure i don't know if i see someone about I get it now just answer the question sure yeah sure
I don't know
if I see someone's face
upside down
I can't recognize it at all
if I saw you upside down
I'd be like
that guy kinda looks like Dylan
but it's not Dylan
why would you ever
need that skill
I saw something on 60 Minutes
one time
that was talking about
people that can like
only
they can only see faces
upside down or something
I don't know
I don't even know
we shouldn't go down this path I only see faces upside down how something? I don't know. I don't even know. We shouldn't go down this path.
I only see faces upside down.
How about fucking Super Tuesday?
Dude, my brain is scrambled from the upside down face thing still.
Sorry.
Dude, Biden's back.
Hashtag Joe-mentum.
Is that a thing or did you just come up with that?
It is a thing.
I wish I could say I came up with it.
Oh, that's just another thing on Twitter that you stole?
I guess so, pretty much with it. Oh, that's just another thing on Twitter that you stole?
I guess so, pretty much, yeah.
Just kidding.
Do you want to read Trump's tweet, Dave?
Which one?
I know which one.
Yeah, so Mike Bloomberg dropped out.
I mean, he literally dropped,
I don't know what he spent on this thing.
$500 million in ads.
Okay. $500 million in ads. Okay.
$500 million.
I could have invested a little of that in WASH Media,
and we would just be like, he wouldn't even know.
In response, the leader of the free world tweets,
Mini Mike Bloomberg just quit, in quotes, the race for president.
I could have told him a long time ago he didn't have what it takes. He knew he saved himself a billion dollars, the real cost. Now he will pour money into Sleepy Joe's campaign, hoping to save
face. It won't work, exclamation. Later
followed that one up with Mini Mike, quote,
three months ago I entered the race for president to defeat Donald Trump,
parentheses, and I failed miserably.
Exclamation point, close parentheses, period, at the end of the tweet,
which is unnecessary.
Just if we're going to be technical about it.
You didn't need both forms of, that's fine.
Why didn't he close the quotation?
It just makes no sense to me.
I don't know.
So maybe there's more. maybe it's a tweet storm.
It's like there's more coming.
Yeah.
I just can't get past the fact that our president makes fun of people's physical appearance.
Well, Mike is very small.
How tall is he?
Okay, well, that's, you know, his wife is doing, like, the whole anti-bullying campaign thing,
and he's, like, the biggest bully in America.
It's just hilarious to me.
You know?
I mean, look.
Is it not funny?
It's an all-fair game.
Is it not funny?
It's fucking funny.
It's amazing.
Trump.
So Bloomberg's 5'8"?
No, he's not.
But that's what he's listed at.
So he's actually, like, 5'5". I think he's 5'6". Oh, you think not. But that's what he's listed at. So he's actually like 5'5".
I think he's 5'6".
Oh, you think it's like a basketball roster?
Yeah.
Like if you look at our website, I'm listed at 5'11".
Well, actually, Trump tweeted on February 13th that Mini Mike is a 5'4".
Oh, my.
How have I not seen this tweet?
He said, Mini Mike is a 5'4 mass of dead energy who does not want to be on the debate stage
with these professional politicians.
I mean, all of that is true imagine the most powerful man in america calling you a mass of dead energy that is biting did he come up with that it's good that has teeth
massive debt energy
oh my god so which uh which very very old white guy are y'all gonna vote for
hard to say at this point you know
mini mike joe's very old right look at him he's 77 i know trump what trump's like the same age
biden just flat out too old. Oh, Trump's only 73.
Biden, okay, what I've realized is that, like, okay,
I'm not well-versed in politics.
I never really have, like, a deep knowledge of anything that's going on outside of the debates that I watch.
I'm purely a debate guy because it's just the content.
You love the action.
But when it comes to actual politics, like, I just, I,
it crumples my brain, so I can't do it.
But I try.
But if it's not a debate, then I'm not really paying attention.
I know I should have paid more attention on Super Tuesday.
This is why I have not registered to vote vibes, even though I'm registered to vote.
I just wait to see which candidate's going to do well on Rogan, and then I'll vote for that one.
If you're on Rogan, you automatically have more of a chance of getting the vote. Could just wait to see which candidate's going to do well on Rogan, and then I'll vote for that one. If you're on Rogan, you
automatically have more of a chance of getting
the vote. Could Rogan get Trump on?
No.
You don't think? No. There's no way he would
sit in for that format.
Trump? Just a free-flow conversation.
Who do you think
is Joe Rogan's number one guest?
Of all time?
No, no, no. His number one target that he has not gotten.
Because he turned down Kanye.
Yeah.
Which I'm glad he did because it would have been horrible.
Yeah.
I think it was a mutual decision.
Yeah.
Why do you think it would be horrible?
Because Kanye is not – Kanye is borderline incoherent.
He's so rant.
He rants.
And Joe, first of all, Joe does not know much about Kanye.
Joe doesn't know anything about modern hip-hop.
And I think they would probably try to talk about mental health.
And I don't know if either of them are qualified to. And I think they would probably try to talk about mental health. And I don't know if either of them are qualified to.
And I think Joe said that.
Like, he would want maybe a mental health expert to be in there for the conversation.
And Kanye didn't want that.
It wasn't like a diss.
No, it wasn't a diss.
It was like, hey, if we're going to talk about all these things that are very important to a lot of people,
affect people every day, we should have an expert in.
So, I don't know.
I mean, look, it would have been entertaining.
I listened to the Alex Jones one.
Talk about incoherent rambling.
But he's doing a bit, and he knows it.
Kanye, I don't think, knows it.
Kanye might know that.
Does he?
I'm still worried that he's just going to buy all of Wyoming
with the Kardashian money
and just turn it into like
a religious
haven
no matter how much money Kanye came out
Kanye's going to be the next Utah
I'll go to a Sunday service
if you guys want to go to a Sunday service I'll go to one
okay
go to Fat Tony then Sunday service do you think he's going to do a to a Sunday service, I'll go to one. Okay. Go to Fat Tony, then Sunday service.
Okay.
Do you think he's going to do a South by Sunday service?
I doubt it.
Okay.
Corona fears.
He seems like he is the type who would perform in a mask.
Supreme.
No, not a Supreme.
Well, he's already done that.
He's in an entire tour in a mask.
Oh, yeah, he did.
Kind of swag.
I'm going to start recording in one of those.
You're not.
You're just not going to.
Yeah, I don't know, man. It's going to be recording one of those. You're not. You're just not going to. Yeah, I don't know, man.
It's going to be a wild few months.
I guess, well, how many months until November?
Like six?
No way to know.
I'll be gone until November.
Yeah, we're going to get Joe.
We're going to get Joe and Don.
It's Joe, right?
Yeah, I mean, they've successfully taken it from Bernie.
Who's vice?
For Joe?
Klobuchar Buttigieg.
I think he needs a female.
He should get Obama.
He needs a female.
That would be weird.
I don't think Obama needs that gig.
He needs a female because he's already kind of got, like,
the creepy, handsy, weird Uncle Joe thing.
So we need somebody to balance that out.
And if you're running against Pence and Trump,
you're going to need to get those suburban moms voting.
Klobuchar is not a bad choice.
I saw somebody talk about Kamala Harrisris but like they're both joe
and her i'm gonna get political for a sec they have really really bad history of um on drug law
so that would be something i would hammer them on if i were in the other campaign but don't
klobuchar and uh kamala hate each other do they i think so okay what about warren could be wrong
yeah she lost her home state.
I just got news that people are dropping like flies at South by right now.
Who?
My buddies were coming down for work, and they were just like, yep.
I literally talked to them this morning, and they were like, yep, we're going to be here these days.
Who was it?
You don't know.
Dude, it's going to get canceled, isn't it?
It's going to.
Dude, that loses the city a lot of money.
All I'm saying is, if we need to have a meetup at this office on March 17th at 1130 a.m.,
we're having a meetup.
We could do what these people, the other people on the building do.
They cater lunch every Thursday.
Sometimes they'll get, like, Chicken Express.
Sometimes they'll get, like, I don't know.
Taco Deli?
Taco D.
I haven't gotten an invite yet.
I'm going to be so disgruntled if it gets canceled.
That's okay.
Just disgruntled. It's going to be all right,led if it gets canceled. That's okay. Just disgruntled.
It's going to be all right, man.
All right.
We'll go live on Brett's patio.
Yeah, we can just throw a South by party at Brett's place.
Oh, yeah, dude.
You can make that dip again.
It's really good.
It's a good dip.
Thank you.
Your buffalo chicken dip?
It is.
It's world famous.
It hit.
Was that your recipe?
Yeah.
Okay.
Did you do anything proprietary to it?
Yes.
It's a recipe that I've got from a website.
Okay.
I switched up a little bit.
You doctored it?
Did this website, before you got to the actual recipe,
did you have to scroll through the history of every ingredient?
Sure did.
Like how it got here?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's like, just give me the ingredients and the steps.
Former Grand X employee, Joe Nullet, he had the best idea I've ever seen on Twitter of a Chrome plugin that cuts out the personal anecdotes before recipes.
Smart.
Oh, man.
Tell me you wouldn't download that.
We still need to have Joe on to talk about his foot.
We got to save that for a worse weekend.
Oh, by the way. Joe's a dude. Joe's good. By the way, with St. Patrick's day coming up,
send your worst weekend stories to worst of at wash media.com. Wow. Uh, we're not doing a post
St. Patrick's day. So if you have any horror stories from before, I would love to see them.
And if we get enough stories, I promise you, will do a very specific, targeted St. Patrick's Day episode of Worst Stuff.
That's just me going on record right now.
But it's contingent on you, the listeners.
I got my first ever case of Sunday Scaries after partying in Chicago
for St. Patrick's Day, which is why I don't celebrate it anymore.
Did you drink too much green beer?
I don't drink green beer.
I'm anti-green beer.
You didn't even in your 20s?
I'm anti-green beer.
I did.
It's just regular beer.
The only time I've ever had a green beer was when we went to a bar after St. Patrick's
Day, and the bartender was like, we ordered Miller Lights, and she was like, so we have
a keg of green Miller Light that we will give you for a dollar a beer
instead of the five dollars for the other Miller Lite.
And we were like, you know what? You gotta go green.
We're poor. Let's do it. Let's party.
That's the only time I've ever had green beer.
I just hate it. It's just food coloring.
It's so gross though. I don't need food coloring in my beer.
I don't want my lips turning that weird color.
It's not even green that they turn. It's like a blue
color. What did they dump into
the river there? Green beer. It's like a blue color. What do they dump into the river there?
Green beer.
They actually dump the green beer.
What's the substance that makes the river turn green?
Green.
Algae.
Green is not a thing.
It's a color.
Money.
Cash money.
They just grind up money, huh?
They put it in a chipper and just feed it through.
A more cost-efficient way of doing that.
Let's look this up because now I kind of want to know.
What's that river called?
Chicago River?
Dude, no one knows.
No one knows the name of that river.
Is it the Chicago River?
I don't know.
It is.
That's cool.
That's great.
Oh, an orange powder called leprechaun dust is thrown into the Chicago River
and turns the water green.
Okay, that doesn't help. Leprechaun dust. thrown into the Chicago River and turns the water green. Okay, that doesn't help.
Leprechaun dust.
Get any more.
Like, that ain't it.
With St. Patrick's Day coming up, like, I mean,
Sally's brother's going up there for St. Patrick's Day in Chicago.
Oh, Hattie.
It's not going to be as lit as normal because of this coronavirus.
Oh, man.
It's just ruining everything.
Now, the real event, we should go up to Dallas for the parade It's just ruining everything.
No, the real event, we should go up to Dallas for the parade in the subsequent. I've heard that's fun.
That's the most fun thing Dallas does.
Is that the Greenville thing?
Oh, yeah.
I've heard nothing but good things.
It's a fun thing.
If you've got a buddy who lives in the M Streets or something, it's legit.
It's a young man's game, but families, they do it too.
We're in between young men and family men. Dylan's got a family i guess i have a family too all of us have family in some capacity
what i'm saying is i don't have kids i don't have kids either i have a son yes parks parks he's five
parks not parker parks he's not parker and he uh he throws hands at school, apparently. So that's tight.
He's a bruiser.
Oh, yeah.
You guys know what?
Smelling good's important.
I like to smell good.
I always said that. I like to smell good.
If one of you guys started walking in the studio not smelling good,
I'd probably say something to you about it.
Okay.
I would hope so.
If I ever stink or have bad breath or food in my teeth or a bat in the cave, tell me.
Dave hit me up yesterday.
He said I had a bat in the cave.
You know what?
I appreciated that.
Yeah.
I just did.
Just be discreet about it.
Don't embarrass me.
That's all I ask.
Well, Hawthorne smells really good, and getting Hawthorne cologne is so easy.
All you have to do is go to hawthorne.co.
You take this quiz.
All right?
You guys all took the quiz.
How long did it take you?
Two minutes?
About two minutes.
Two minutes max.
A minute 48.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Of course, you were trying to be the fastest taking the quiz.
So competitive.
Good test taker, man.
You just take it.
It matches you with the sense that you want or the sense that you need that you don't
even know that you want yet.
And boom, they deliver it right to your door.
I will say this about the packaging.
It's perfect.
It is bomb packaging.
It's an affordable product.
I will say that.
The packaging makes it feel like it's out of my price range.
And I love that about it.
All you have to do is take a quick two-minute quiz,
and Hawthorne tells you the two colognes that are best for you.
You get one for work and one for play.
I will say, you can wear the play one to work on Fridays
if you're really feeling wild.
I think people will appreciate that.
One time I wore the work one just out around town.
I was just feeling a little crazy that day.
Were people just like, dude, why is he grinding right now?
This guy smells so professional, but yeah, he's out here partying.
It was weird.
Everybody's working for the weekend.
Right, right.
It's totally risk-free with free shipping and free returns.
They also have a bunch of other stuff, too, that I actually love.
Deodorant, shampoo, body wash, the whole gamut.
The full gamut.
The whole one.
It's the whole gamut.
All of the gamut.
Yeah.
My favorite X-Men gamut.
You'd throw the cards cards i was going right
there that's stupid uh check out hawthorne at hawthorne.co that's hawthorne with an e and use
promo code circling back to get 10 off your first purchase that's h-a-w-t-h-o-r-n-e.co use our code
circling back to get 10 off your purchase hawthorne.co someone actually sent my dms the other
day and they're like all right shoot me straight this hawthorne stuffco. Someone actually sent my DMs the other day, and they were like, all right, shoot me straight. Is Hawthorne stuff legit?
I was like, absolutely, player.
So you shot him straight.
I gave him a full rundown.
I gave him a full rundown of the offering that they have.
We don't endorse stuff if we don't actually believe in it, guys.
That's the thing.
That's the thing.
That's the thing.
You guys ready to do this weekend in fun?
Yeah.
I guess I'll start.
Okay. Oh, man. Okay. Go ahead, ahead man it should be really good hang on let me get let me get back relaxed all right go ahead i don't have a ton
going on okay um i do have parks on saturday kind of a weird weekend for us schedule wise i do it
makes sense for the boys yes for the boys um. I do plan on getting a little dinner with my sister and brother-in-law.
It's going to be nice this weekend.
It would be a real shame if we played golf.
No plans to yet, but it would be a real shame.
Yeah, I'm fresh off of 44 on the back nine of Kaiser.
That means you're ready.
I'm very ready.
So, yeah, that's pretty much it.
I wouldn't mind going to Pine House
at some point and trying the brassy pizza.
Ooh, count me out.
Need that to happen.
Cannot support that behavior.
I swear to God,
if you go there without me
and you have the brassy pizza.
Dog, I would never do that.
Unlike you, I include my friends.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, what?
I was actually thinking tomorrow night might be a good night for it,
but no, I'm not so sure.
Huh.
You know what we could even do?
What, bitch?
Sally and I have ramen plans tonight,
but we could be convinced after the mail-in
to do a little pizza action.
Y'all should definitely.
Ooh.
I'm just putting it out there.
I'm not making any guarantees.
Anyway, that concludes my weekend in fun.
Magic Bullet.
Hey there.
You're quiet today.
Pretty nice.
Slow weekend for me.
I think I'm going to be here for a couple days And then
Do Houston Saturday
Whoa
Just a quick trip
Do you have some boys there?
Caroline's sister's in town
So do a little
Meet and greet
Dinner situation
With the fam
And then back Sunday
Something easy
You're getting a lot of
Face time in with the fam
Over there huh?
Her sister lives in New York
So it's like one of those
Why don't y'all meet halfway
Y'all should meet in like
LaGrange or something.
Like just where 71 meets 10.
Just go get some burgers at Ruska's.
Like Bucky's there?
Does Ruska's do burgers?
Is that the one where they.
I've never had their burger.
Is it Ruska's?
I don't know how you say it.
It doesn't matter.
I have always said Ruska's.
Is that the point where the speed limit goes from 75 to 55 in uh seven feet
it's it's the yeah if you're wondering if it's the point where your boy got popped for going 30
over yeah it's that point that sounds about right damn did you get a ticket oh yeah oh yeah i was
actually racing i was trying to go i actually knew i was going over the speed limit but i was trying
to get uh into town to make a dinner so that i didn't get yelled at from my new girlfriend sally
at the time uh uh it was i think it was one of the first dinners I was having with a lot of her friends,
so I was like, all right, I got to hit the ground running.
And sure enough, getting pulled over stopped me from making the dinner on time.
That sounds about right.
Try the burger, though, Dave.
It's worth leaving like 15 minutes early just to go get a burger and see.
I'll tell them Will sent me.
Yeah.
Did you eat it there or did you eat it on the road?
I ate it there.
It's too messy to eat on the road.
You can't eat a burger while driving.
That's just fucking dangerous.
Unless it's a quarter pounder with cheese that's still half in the wrapper.
That's under control.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know exactly what you're getting with that burger.
Oh.
Did you just...
What was that?
Stomach just went off.
That sounded like a Randy yawn.
That sounded like a fart on a leather seat, which would make sense in this studio.
I wouldn't tell you if it was.
It was like it went up.
NBA Street is another one I used to play.
Dude, NBA Street was tight.
It was tight, man.
No one is interrupting Brett's weekend of fun like Dylan.
Dude, FIFA Street was also really good,
but it didn't even touch.
Dude, I used to run fools on that.
Just be dunking.
Yeah, we understand how the game works.
Yeah, we know how basketball works.
Just be hanging on the rim.
You were putting up jump shots from the elbow.
No.
I was taking it hard to the hoop.
So what's up, man?
You're going to Houston?
Yeah, Austin, Houston Saturday. I like how you said you're going to be here for a couple days, but You're going to Houston? Yeah, Austin, Houston Saturday.
I like how you said you're going to be here for a couple days,
but you're going to Houston Saturday.
I'm trying to think, like, does that work out with, like,
the logistics of weekend?
Like Thursday, Friday here.
Okay, I guess the weekend for us starts a little early.
Thursday night, Friday night in Austin.
We're big weekend guys.
We don't really have a weekend, if you think about it.
We're always on 24-7.
It's true.
We're content.
It's true.
Dave, what are you doing?
I don't know. I was going to hang out with Brett, but he's going to be gone.
I know. I'd be excited to play for Brett.
So anyway,
I got a dinner Friday night
with our friends.
Sick. Couple's dinner. Sick.
A little double date. I guess it's technically
a date. i just call it
dinner i guess any date with your wife or any any dinner with your wife could technically be a date
right sure maybe i'll maybe i'll put on my nice martini glass button down and you picked it up
i did i just i just ordered it. It was only $400.
What a stupid fucking shirt.
No, I would like, it's going to be great weather,
and I'm all about taking advantage of it before it gets hot.
I agree.
I'm on this new kick where, like, we have,
I have more free time than I've ever had in my life,
and I spend a lot of it in the gym.
It's not really doing anything, but I see you put,
you're looking vascular on that right arm right now.
Maybe you look hot as fuck right now. And the left arm.
I can't see the left arm, but the right arm is popping.
Damn, you are vascular today.
What's up with that, dude?
Barrett Dudley over here.
No.
And I'm like, man, I need to like take advantage of the,
of the good weather before it gets hot.
I need to get out and play golf, do more.
Hashtag doing things.
We should use that.
Ooh, that's a good hashtag.
How about hashtag do stuff?
Yeah.
The other one's better?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I want to get out there.
So, yeah, I'm trying to take advantage of it while I can
because I know how this works.
It gets into May.
It's going to be like, say, May.
It's like 96. Humidity is to be like, say, May. It's like 96.
Humidity is a little high.
Get out there.
Swamp ass sets in on the second hole, and you're like, dude.
Major shouts to swamp ass.
Somebody hits you up.
Dude, you want to meet at the bar or something after the round?
Can't.
Covered in sweat.
Stink.
Got to go home and shower.
Go home, shower, go meet up.
They're all hammered.
You play catch up.
Next thing you know, you're blacked out and hungover.
That's just something I'm trying to avoid.
Are you Ubering to the golf course, David?
I don't really drink that much on the golf course.
Fair.
I did this thing.
Unless it's a scramble, like a tournament.
I did what I do every single year in Texas,
where I say that I'm going to golf a lot when the weather cools down.
And then you don't.
And then I don't play at all.
Want to know what I'm doing this weekend?
It's going to be fun.
Let's hear it, man.
Well, I'm actually doing a double date Thursday night.
Shouts to me.
Let's go fuck myself, I guess.
Yeah, sorry, man.
Saturday, I'm doing something no one should ever do on Saturday.
Your boy's going to Ikea.
Not the move, but it's the only time we can go.
Uh, I'm getting a full length mirror.
Okay.
Are you guys ready for that?
Wow.
So like hang on your, that's a good, that's a good pickup.
Yeah, we have one.
We need it.
We need a good one in our apartment,
and now that we've renewed our lease and everything,
it's like, you know what?
Let's finally put the pieces together.
If you want to fully understand the fit that you're trying to get off,
you have to have a full-length mirror.
Yeah, I can stop standing on my bathtub ledge
and looking in the mirror.
Every time I do that,
I think, when am I going to put my foot on the wet spot
and roll and break my leg?
It's the worst, and I have to do it every single time.
It's like, why haven't I just gotten a fucking mirror yet?
I don't know.
This has to be way worse for y'all because you're taller than me.
You kind of have to crouch down to get the whole thing in the mirror.
And then you're like, this doesn't tell me that much.
It doesn't tell you anything.
Yeah.
So we're doing that.
I'm not sure if it's going to fit in the whip.
But if it doesn't, I'm going to be really upset
because I'm going to drive all the way to Round Rock to go to Ikea to get a full-length mirror
and not be able to bring it home.
Why don't you just order one online?
Because the shipping cost, dude.
I don't think you realize how full-length this mirror actually is, dude.
It's a big boy.
Okay.
Saturday night.
I do have plans
But now I'm forgetting
What they are
Oh I had
I don't have plans
Because I had to cancel
That Sunday reservation
I made like a total dumbass
Idiot
Yeah that's on me
Sunday
Manchester Derby baby
1130 central time
You've been waiting for this
Catch me posted up
On the couch
Just tweeting
Wow
At will to freeze
Add me on the group
Well that's That's twitter add me on the twitter
and so uh yeah we're gonna cut that and i'm gonna put it to preset uh no one's doing add me on the
twitter so we'll see yeah i don't know that's all i got going on sunday i'm intentionally having a
chill weekend weekend after that i'm going to be in uh houston shouts to brett and then the weekend
after that weekend after that your boy's going to be in Houston. Shouts to Brett. And then the weekend after that, your boy's going to Vegas,
unless we cancel that trip altogether because of numerous reasons that include.
Corona.
Coronavirus.
But yeah, outside of that, I'm just straight chill on.
I might drink some Micheladas this weekend.
Dude, how good is the Michelada at Matt's El Rancho?
Oh, pretty freaking good.
Michelada.
I don't know what's right.
No clue. I've only been drinking them for like ao. I've always said freaking good. Michelada. I don't know what's right. No clue.
I've only been drinking them for like a week.
I've had one.
If I've learned one thing since hosting a podcast,
it's that I pronounce things incorrectly all the time,
and I just don't care.
And that 200 people will try to correct you after the fact.
Hey, add me on the tweet,
at D. Carter Ruff on Twitter and Snap,
at DC Ruff on the ground.
Add me on the group.
There you go.
Wow.
I'm not getting ads like I used to.
That was fun, man.
Brett, do you have any breaking news real quick?
Not much.
I just have one thing that I'm going to explain it to Brett here.
What does this headline mean?
Public Enemy Parts Ways with Flavor Flav
Following Clash Over Sanders Endorsement.
Public Enemy did a rally for Bernie a few nights ago.
And they endorsed Bernie.
And Flavor Flav did not want to be, he did not necessarily want to endorse Bernie.
But what does Flavor Flav have to do with Public Enemy?
They're just endorsing.
I'm serious.
He's in Public Enemy.
Got it.
He's one of the founding members.
Brett, don't make me Dave Splane two episodes in a row.
You're Dave Splaning 90s hip-hop.
Are you?
You're saying back.
I know who Flavor Flav is.
I know who Public Enemy is.
I didn't know.
You didn't know they were together.
I'm more familiar with flavor Flav's
endeavors after flavor of love yes Brigitte Nielsen all that come stand by
a man yes Chuck D and Paul in flavor Flav yeah
those are the two main dudes thank you that's it give me more breaking news
silly bitch Barnes & Noble has a new plan to add an indie bookseller
where they're basically just, instead of having 50,000 square foot stores,
they're going to cut it down and just do more local titles.
So wait, they have stores that are square foot?
50,000 of them?
That seems incredibly tiny.
That's probably not their strategy.
I feel like Barnes & Noble should maybe just stop trying their whole retail book experience
and maybe just start selling online exclusively.
I'm a half-priced books guy.
Yeah, I'll say it.
The books are half-priced.
Why would I go to Barnes & Noble?
Exactly.
They also have a vinyl collection that's just through the roof.
They do, man.
Maybe I'll add a record player to my repertoire this weekend.
That'll make you the most insufferable, but you have to do it.
I think I need to.
I've been trying to do it.
These huge brick and mortars still blow my mind.
I went to Best Buy the other day.
It's still a thing.
You know that, right?
I think they're doing pretty well, actually.
Yeah, people were in there.
You can buy drones there.
You can buy the best there.
Oh, wow.
I didn't think of it like that.
Barnes & Noble, one of the better store smells out there.
You know, every store has a smell.
Home Depot.
Also, they have a coffee shop most of the time.
It's the adult book fair.
Abercrombie?
Yeah.
I know what you're saying.
What?
Dude, Brett wears Aeropostale.
That was before your time.
I don't.
Were you a Hollister guy or were you an Abercrombie guy?
You were definitely a Hollister guy.
You know I never got into Hollister.
I didn't either.
I went to A&F.
I'm very proud of that.
I thought the dudes that went to Hollister were just like broke boys who couldn't fucking do A&F.
In my opinion.
A&F was the sickest, yeah.
They got a little too much dip on their chip toward the end.
Really started going for it.
Like didn't need the nude teen models on the cover of their magazines in black and white.
Yeah, but horny teen Will did need those models on the cover of their magazine.
Yeah, that's fair.
Horny Teen Will.
Mm-hmm.
That's going to be a Twitter account, isn't it?
I had an Abercrombie t-shirt that had a keg and it had a cartoon rooster on it.
He was sitting atop the keg.
It's cool, man.
I let people know I drank.
That's sick.
Dude, this dude goes to keggers. He has cockfights at keggers. Cockfights and kegg drank. That's sick. Dude, this dude goes to Kegger's.
He has cockfights at Kegger's.
Cockfights and Kegger's.
That's the name of my sports pod.
That'd be a fun South by meetup.
I don't believe in cockfighting.
Okay.
Unless it's the game that Dylan played.
Dude, Guitar Hero 2, man.
Forget about that one.
Nah.
Nah, dude.
I used a whale on that thing.
Anything that required an external controller that wasn't the stock controller, I was not
You didn't play Guitar Hero?
Not once.
Never picked up the guitar.
Oh, dog.
You missed out.
Nope.
I'm not a big axe guy.
Couldn't, could never do it.
Dude, I used to slay on that.
I have no rhythm.
The only thing I would do that was not the controller was just DDR.
I was always just a power glove guy.
You did DDR?
Dude, drop the bomb.
I could do drop the bomb on DDR perfect.
I could get every single step.
Really?
Yep.
I bet if I did it now, I could get above 90%.
At one point, I just had it memorized.
I will put $20 on that.
All right.
I need the actual pad.
I can't go to an arcade and do it.
It can't be the metal machine.
That takes the fun out of it.
No, I can't do it on the metal machines.
Because you can't perform in the limelight.
It's not as receptive to your foot as the pads were in the home.
What?
Facts, dude.
Straight facts.
Should we get out of here before we just go further down the PS2 thing?
Let's get out of here.
Hey, guys, we'll be back on Patreon.
Listen to our voicemails tomorrow.
Also, don't forget, send your stories.
Send your worst St. Patrick's Day stories to worstof at washmedia.com.
Again, that's worstof at washmedia.com.
I also have a pretty decent backlog, so we're probably going to do an episode regardless.
But I do want the St. Patrick's Day stories.
There's two on brand right now.
Oh, that is a story, Dylan.
You said tomorrow for the voicemails.
It's actually Friday.
We're recording it tomorrow.
It's going to be live Friday.
Just subscribe on Patreon tomorrow just to make sure that you get it Friday when it releases at 6 a.m.
Oh, yeah.
Eastern time.
Oh, Dylan.
Bye.
I'll see you at South by.
You silly little bitch, Dylan.
Bye. Thank you.