Circling Back - Pork Chop Wars & Squall Lines
Episode Date: May 1, 2023Things get a little H on a Monday? Well, maybe, but that's not our fault. A woman had *quite* the experience at the Los Angeles Philharmonic, a very pun-filled news story about a photographer near som...e icebergs, a pork chop war is breaking out down here in Texas, and recapping our Weekends in Fun. Enjoy a free two-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop Support This Episode’s Sponsors Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) Rocket Money: www.rocketmoney.com/circling Fitbod: www.fitbod.me/steam (20% off) This episode was also sponsored by BetterHelp: www.betterhelp.com/circling (10% off first month) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from austin texas my name's will
to freeze to my left david ruff i did something on the way to work today that it seemed like the right thing to do,
but I don't know if it was the prudent thing to do. Two lanes coming northbound,
Manchaca, some call it Manchac, it's Manchaca to me. School bus, not a school bus, a city bus
parked on the right side picking people up the the woman
in the vehicle got stuck behind and i'm in the left lane so i slowed down to let her in what a
guy i give her a wave and there's there are cars behind me that's a big part of this wave her on
she doesn't she hesitates and like by that point, it's like a real stop, go.
If I go, she might go.
So I let her go.
And I immediately looked in my rearview mirror.
And there's a line of cars slowing down behind me.
I would have been cursing you out from the comfort of my driver's seat.
I would have been like, what's this fucking guy doing letting the idiot behind the bus in?
That's her fault.
Yeah.
I guess it's just me being a gent if i'm if that's a nice guy move
good sir that's a nice guy move to her but like everyone else is cursing you i'm giving you just
a fat eye roll like oh this fucking guy i also think the people that are like actively trying
to get out from behind the buses are some of the more dangerous people on the road because they'll
do anything to not wait that extra 30 seconds so frustrating because the people at the back of the line they get first chance yeah they do yeah they do and so if you're at the front
if you're right behind the bus you're just you got to wait for the bus that's what i talked i'm glad
you brought this up dave because i talked to sally a lot about this sally's an overall good driver
one thing that i would like her to work on is her lane management okay she doesn't have any
idea when there's going to be a lane that slows down because of a bus because of a
turning lane because of this and i and i'm like sally we could we could be moving good right now
if you're following a if you're directly behind a bus and you know that they're going to be stopping
because buses be stopping the savvy veteran move is to leave a nice lag between you and the bus so
when they do hit those lights uh and they pull over you just whip it over
real quick and whip around them yeah don't don't let them give it don't give them a chance
to trap you in there what do they call the lane not the turn lane but not the lane that you'd be
making a right hand turn out of what's the other lane is there a name for that wait describe this
lane like you have your your turn lane and you have your lane that the bus would be in.
What is the lane in between that?
Left lane?
I don't know.
Yeah.
If there's a turn lane,
I just stick in that lane the entire time,
next to the turn lane,
because I know that nobody's going to be turning in front of me,
and I can just be nuking.
I'm trying to bus.
I'm trying to drive.
It's a play on the drop the lag daddy himself
dylan chivry ladies and gentlemen uh the people been been talking about it and so i listened and
so i have decided to introduce another mug into the rotation of course this is the sour patch kids
mug from our friend shelby And it's pretty sick.
However, it's not the easiest mug to drink from.
Yeah, the ridges at the top.
The ridges aren't ideal.
There's not like an obvious place to put your mouth.
I mean, you could just find a ridge,
but like it's still, it doesn't hit like a normal mug does,
but it's a fantastic mug.
Pretend you're chest luge-ing.
It's not, it's a little different.
No, it's, you burn, I I'm very thankful for it. It's a little different. No, it's...
I'll burn myself to chest luge.
We almost had a chest luge moment around the studio recently.
Can you explain?
Yeah, but I think we're going to need someone else to help explain.
Anyway.
Today, we're going to welcome producer Randy onto the program.
Shelby, thank you again for this great mug.
And shout out Sour Patch Kids.
That's a free pub.
Can you dedicate yourself to being the Tim Taylor of podcast m podcast mugs yeah because you have an opportunity to do that
just wait bitch watch what's gonna happen next time this camera's on me it might be a new there
will be a new mug yeah this is what people tune in for man this kind of behind the scenes stuff
randy so everyone knows about meme town
it's the most it's the most uh talked about meeting in the media landscape as it currently
stands we have investors contacting us all the time being like can we can we get in on mean town
can we can we get a live recording of meme town uh and randy randy you had a meme that you submitted
the other day that uh people immediately started to bully you for.
And somebody even went as far to say that this could be our chess luge.
You said that.
I'm going to pull it up here and put it on the screen because I just don't understand why we think we're too good for content around here.
Explain it to the folks.
Here we go.
Is that what we think?
It's a picture of Taylor Swift looking quite happy.
And it says, when I see a dog at the bar,
and I knew that this would get millions, possibly billions of shares.
But at what cost?
People are just too good for content.
Here's the thing, though.
The context in which you delivered this meme
made it not seem like a good play for us
because you dropped 1,000 of them at once.
No, no, no.
I dropped those afterwards once I started getting crap. I'll pull up all the rest since i started getting this one this
one plays i don't i don't hate that here's no my issue with it my issue with this one actually has
less to do with the caption and more to do with the fact that it's just an evergreen photo of
taylor swift looking happy oh it's not a it's not a current one if this was a current photo of her
doing something in some viral moment at her like at the Heiress tour, then that changes things.
That photo is probably from her lover era.
Okay, if that was current, if that was from like a week ago, then yeah, I would say that was a potential guess.
The photo for me is just one part.
When it's Friday.
That's just a give up.
When it's Friday.
Okay.
The Lululemon has a sale.
Who are we talking? When I see K-Cell. we talking i see case you were volume i want to die you're trying to you're trying to be annoying yes because people were
dunking on my great meme this this place runs on dunkin randy soon
hey explain the chess luge for the new listeners who don't know what a chess luge is
okay it's like the third time it's come know what a chessluge is. Okay.
It's like the third time it's come up today.
Yeah, chessluge is a video that our good friend J-Bone decided to post when we gave him the keys to the TFM account.
We quickly took the keys back from him because he posted a video of a young man
pouring a beer down his friend's chest
and then running into his mouth.
And we thought it was, you know, I don't know the word for it,
but unsightly.
You're leaving a key detail out.
What?
His chest, his breastbone was concaved.
It was a concaved chest, allowing him to pour the beer down it.
Yes.
Yeah.
And it was a little...
I don't know.
You're telling me that the TFM audience, the audience that you carefully curated, you handcrafted, wasn't into that?
Yeah, they weren't yeah i am shocked yeah whoa jay anyway shut out formula bone jay bone stands by it as good content and maybe he's
right i don't know i should just put fail fright on it if i fail fright on it it would have been
fine that is what he says yeah that isn't exact i mean that's so i
don't think this is my chess luge moment and i think that that was a good meme and i think that
people will say so on twitter uh hashtag justice okay drop it drop it as a static post on your
justice for randy's memes drop it on your account do a whole album no context
god that reminds me when ross tried to become a meme account with his
personal remember on instagram oh that was a while long time until we shamed him off the face of the
planet i didn't know him at that point he was that was that was like 2014 i was i was side
messaging people like what the fuck is he doing? It was just a long play bit.
I don't know if it was.
It wasn't a bit.
He was trying to stack nummies.
Did he?
No.
Anyway.
My computer just shorted out.
Have fun with the ad reads today, boys.
I have no clue
what my computer just did
but it's gone she gone right now it's not it's not gonna happen so uh today's gonna be a special
monday edition of circling back uh where will will is simply a color commentator on some ad
reads today hey don't forget tomorrow do you know it on patreon no it's not that's not tomorrow no
we did that last week.
Actually,
I respect,
I respect the rundown says I respect that when you got the nod,
you just,
you sprinted out of the dugout.
I'm updating exactly five minutes is tomorrow.
Exactly five minutes.
Can I just say I'm getting smoked today?
I'm just getting absolutely smoked.
What's wrong?
Like it's one of those days where it's nothing bad.
It's nothing overlying.
There's not some greater problem in life.
It's just all the little things that I'm trying to do are going poorly.
Around 5 a.m. this morning, we heard that noise that you never want to hear,
which is your dog in the other room about to throw up all over the carpet.
So that gets you out of bed pretty quickly.
It doesn't put you back to bed very quickly.
No, that's tough.
And then a little bit later,
I tried to make a cup of coffee at my house
and my Nespresso machine decided to
just really spray liquids everywhere.
It was coming out of the bottom of it.
I was trying to fix it.
And okay, you can try to make my bad day horny.
I'm not going to let that happen.
A full body explosion.
It's not horny.
The reservoir in the back, when I was trying to fix it and clean everything up,
just tipped over on my counter, which put about a liter of water all over the top of my kitchen counter.
And then, yeah, as you guys saw live on a podcast, my computer just decided to stop working completely.
It's just one of those days.
I'm sorry that you're going through all that.
It's okay, man.
Bad things happen in threes.
And this was the third bad thing to happen.
And so I'm going to try to clear the mechanism right now and move forward.
It's only up from here, is what you're saying.
Yeah, tomorrow is exactly five minutes on Patreon.
Patreon.com
backslash circlingbackpodcast.
We also have
a 14-day free trial.
You can test us out and see if
we earn your business.
That means the trial is free.
It's a free trial. 14 days.
Yeah.
I got bad news for everyone at home.
What is it?
Uh-oh.
He accessed the dock with his phone.
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dylan what'd you get into this weekend oh i think you will um i had a very very low-key weekend
my my son and my partner uh parks has been out of town all weekend so i was i didn't do a whole
lot man i kind of laid low friday night, just stayed in, watched the NFL draft, had like two beers,
and then I called it a night.
So nothing really exciting on that front.
Saturday, I did step out a little bit.
I met my buddy Kev down at Bolden Acres, which is a bar down the street from here.
Beautiful day, great weather.
Did he goose you?
He didn't goose me.
He's not the goosing type like the others are.
Cool.
He's goose adjacent.
He's out with the gooser, so he gets goosed.
Anyway, had a couple beers there.
It was fine, man.
Yesterday I didn't do anything.
That's not true.
I went to go see my sister and brother-in-law and my nieces
and had dinner with them.
That was lovely.
And that's pretty much it, man.
Low key.
Low key.
Wonderful.
What about you, Davey?
You know, my mother-in-law was in town, which is always a pleasure.
And she's great with my son.
We were originally scheduled to uh go do a dinner we had like a five o'clock on friday um patio little spot called the grove i think i announced it last wednesday
that didn't happen not a place you want to go no when you're about to reveal what in my head
you already revealed that yeah the tree situation
there is is a danger mainly because we had a pretty nice little storm sesh roll through
uh between about 4 and 5 30 a nice little squall line rolled through out of uh down around came
through i don't know looks like they really popped off around lano way squall line you say yeah and um rolled through
they were here and they were gone took about you know 30 45 minutes but did enough to where like
we were like you know what we don't want to be driving in this and it's going to be the patio
is going to be all wet so we just picked up did uh did lupe Shocker. Great fajitas.
Some of the best, some say.
Someone invited me to happy hour across town at 4.30 that day on Friday.
And I was just like, I don't think I'm going to do that.
I don't think I'm going to put myself on a major highway when we got this squall line coming through, you know?
Smart.
A smart play, Will.
Yeah.
You're weather aware.
You put me on Mopac at 4.30 on a Friday with a squall line coming through?
That squall didn't really deliver like I kind of wanted it to.
Round Rock, North, North Austin got some pretty significant hail.
I didn't want hail.
Hail's problematic.
I never want hail to hit.
We'll fuck your dope up.
Then you got the roofing companies.
They flock here
and they're not going door to door putting signs in yards i've had to replace an entire roof before
because of hell not fun dude i've been i've been driveway privileged my entire time living in
austin and i'm dreading the day that i'm not there's going to be a time when i'm not it's it's
not a fun feeling you're watching that radar you're looking for the hail core
in the storms and you're like it's gonna miss us thankfully i gotta say i'm not gonna name
names i have a neighbor i don't i hope he doesn't listen to this show uh after that like out with
the dog and see him outside he's like god dude where did the storms come from he's like they
just came out of nowhere and i wanted to be you know, they've kind of been talking about this
being an active weather day for about the last four to five days.
And honestly, they've been covering these storms since about 2 p.m.
So it didn't actually just kind of come out of nowhere.
But I'm glad you're safe.
I'm glad your home is fine.
Just get your head on a swivel, man.
April, May in Texas, it can get wild.
Get your head out of your ass, neighbor. You know, I didn, it can get wild. Get your head out of your ass, neighbor.
You know, I didn't want to say it, but your head was up your ass.
Do you have any big storm coming in tasks that you just start knocking out immediately
when you see it start to change?
Because I love that moment.
What do you mean?
Once I see the tree outside of my place start to whip
and I can see that it's getting a little dark up in the sky,
I love just running out to the porch, folding up the chairs, putting things away. Like I just like
everything off. It's just, it's just fun. I pulled the chairs back on the back deck,
pull them under. Uh, and then I was sending you guys photos. Yeah. Cause I was just out there
watching it rolling in from the West and I got a pretty, pretty good view looking down my street.
Um, just watching it kind of develop and watching the cloud and i got a pretty pretty good view looking down my street um just watching
it kind of develop and watching the cloud moves and got some videos what was the filter name of
the how the how the sky looked after the storm austin was straight up outer banks on fucking
friday i have never seen anything like it i've never seen anything like that before it was yellow
outside yeah i think i sent a text to you guys about it no one responded to me i did oh you did
yeah okay i said it looks like how mexico is portrayed in movies yes it's narcos mexico
or outer banks like it was the most sepia tone thing i've ever seen in real life it was cool
it was cool uh yeah and there were there those storms that like they build up so tall that like
you can see them for like like, hundreds of miles.
And, like, you can watch the lightning as it rolls off.
You're completely safe because it's way out of there.
But it's still cool.
Anyway, Saturday night, went to dinner.
Went to Sammy's.
Had some Italian food.
Fuck.
Shout out DJ Duds and his fiance.
Yeah.
I was fucking desperately trying to go to Sammy's this weekend.
I had all the alerts set up on my phone to get a...
Dude, bar at 515.
No one's sitting at the bar.
Bar wide open.
So just if you're...
Just something to think about.
If you're in Austin, looking for a spot,
and you don't have a reservation,
their bar was pretty open between 5 and 530.
Fuck.
Damn.
Good for you.
Delightful.
Yesterday.
Piccata or no?
I did go piccata.
Wow.
Thank you for asking.
Even though it was National Shrimp Scampi Day,
you probably saw that.
You guys are aware.
They don't have the scampi on the menu.
Yesterday was just to take the sun to soccer practice.
He was on one.
He had a good practice, but man, he was he was a bear yesterday.
The twos are really kicking in heavy right now.
And then did some yard work.
Had to get rid of an agave that didn't make it through the last freeze.
And finally, we're like, this is not coming back.
So I had to rip one out and it didn't feel good. And then, we're like, this is not coming back. So I had to rip one out, and it didn't feel good.
And then I went and hit some golf balls.
Very cool.
Mixed in a Stars game six.
Sorry to the wild.
You fought admirably.
But we moved on, and now we see the Kraken.
So I will yield my time to Will.
You know what it is.
About 4.30 Friday when said storm rolled through
it was just primo time sally asked me if i wanted to pop open a bottle of chianti classico
oh dcog for those keeping track at home the rooster it was the final bottle we had left
over from our trip to italy uh and as you guys know red wine hits absolutely diffy during a storm
that's i put on some almond brothers just to really fucking lean into this shit did you spin it
i did spin it i did spin it and then uh you know what it is i went to bed early because that's what
i do uh and then uh on saturday uh i had the absolute pleasure of seeing my brother-in-law
uh get engaged very tight always fun to add someone to the crew.
We get to add his nice fiance, Kimmy, to the crew.
Shouts to Harry and Kimmy.
And so, yeah, I went out. I couldn't say that during this weekend in fun this past episode
last week, because you know...
You had to keep a low pro.
I didn't want to blow the surprise.
Right.
And so, yeah, I did that. Had a nice little dinner.
It was fun.
It was fun being at an event with young people there.
Like, I'm usually hanging out with people our age that have, like, significant others and stuff like that. It was fun being at a bar with people I knew and seeing people shooting shots.
I hadn't seen anyone shoot a shot in a while, like IRL.
And you feel alive, huh?
I was like, man, dude, I kind of hope this works out for you.
I don't think it did.
But, like, it's fun being around people that I'm like, oh, you're single.
You can go do stuff.
Living vicarious.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We try to do that with Randy, but...
But what?
But he doesn't shoot?
He just holds the ball?
I do want to give a special nod to Randy.
Randy had his birthday festivities this past weekend.
Randy invited me this year.
So that was big. I didn't go.
It's a step in the right direction, demanding y'all.
I couldn't go as I had an engagement
to celebrate, but I appreciated
the invite this year, so that's good. He's probably getting
a gram off right now as we speak about it.
Randy, thank you for the invite.
I'm sorry I did not make it.
Yeah, Randy, thank you.
And then Sunday was
a day of rest. It was a day of rest it was a day of rest we watched
manchester united beat uh aston villa 10 very cool i uh i mashed that that nap button i did a little
outdoor nap outdoor naps hit so different yeah i found a little spot in the shade got a little
blanket out laid down shut my eyes a little bit i may
have dozed off by the pool yesterday now that i think about it dude you're savage
you're savage my memory is spotty when laying on that lounge so yeah randy can i ask you a question
shoot what time did you guys get to the bar probably like 10 45 that's yeah you're yeah you're scheduling me out of your events when
you're doing it that way in real life not that it should be about me it certainly shouldn't but
bear and i at dinner bear and i were like man maybe like they're gonna go hit the bars like
a little early we can just kind of like bail on the ladies and go link up and then like that text wrote roll through it like 10 30 i guess
it was and i was like yeah man i'm uh i'm in bed i am in bed but thank you it looked like a lot of
fun yeah we spent a little more time at applebee's than we thought we were going to who's your mvp
uh me fuck yeah did it turn into club bees while you were there uh no i think we left i it is in some places i don't know if it's
a current thing but i can confirm that i spoke to somebody who grew up in florida and she said
that when she was of age they would shut it down and turn it into a club sick
imagine going there on like a date night i didn't know that was like a well-known thing
i thought that was just something she told us and my friends and I thought was weird.
I've heard about it.
I mean, I've never done it.
Yeah.
I've heard about it.
And so I've always thought it's funny.
Like you just throw down.
Did you know that?
I did not know this, but I remember one time I went Sunday of I think like Memorial Day
or Labor Day with Omar and we got there like eight and then we left at 10 when we left at 10 there
was more people there than yeah yeah club bees did not know this yeah happening I found a business
insider now known as insider article and here's the title check out the debauchery when Applebee's
turns into club Applebee's after 10 p.m let's bring back debauchery man that's that means like
you're getting after it with the boys i've talked about that word before working at a frat blog it just got worn out for me it's like it's
like epic i put those together we went out and dude that's not fair debauchery that's not fair
to debauchery dude we're so debauched the other night no one says oh me and debauch we call them
debauch yeah this is in Estero, Florida.
Whoa, this is crazy.
This young lady's on a table.
Fucking debaucherous, dude.
It's just like a thinking man's epic.
Just more syllables.
No, it's not.
They mean different things.
I have zero issue with the word.
They both got worn out.
For me.
For me.
It is somewhat bro-tastic, it says.
This is from 2012.
Can you tell?
Is that a TFM article?
No, it's Insider.
Oh, okay.
Bro-tastic.
Someone says bro-tastic around me, they're getting punched.
Well.
someone says bro-tastic around me they're getting punched well we'll talk to jim edwards published this august 6 2012 yeah whoever came up with the name rowdy
gentleman ruined the word rowdy facts because rowdy's a really good word but the fact that it
was paired with i we shouldn't go down this yeah we actually know the person who came up with it
who i mean i can guess i guess but yeah like rowdy's always been ruined for me because it's the cowboy's mascot did you know that
the guy in the cowboy what's wrong with that because he's a whole he's just not a good mascot
there's nothing intimidating about him he's just always kind of in places he shouldn't be he's
i don't know you just look you're like God What is Rowdy doing At this like The ribbon cutting
Of a hospital
Rowdy Gentleman
That's you
You're the guy
That's a tough
That's a tough brand name
You're the guy
You were the original
Per the guy at the gym
Dude
Like you're a gentleman
But like also
You know how to like
Throw down
You know how to get
Debauched
Debauchers gents
That's us
Epic gents
Oh my god no okay epic fail
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Man, I don't know if you guys caught the la phil performance i certainly didn't but
someone was there and really enjoyed herself are we calling it the la phil that's what it says
phil harmonic la phil damn you just got fucking dunked on by the nutcracker guy
the headline is concert goer lets out a loud full body orgasm while l.a phil plays
tchaikovsky's fifth okay does this the fifth what's l.a phil the phil harmonic it's the phil
harmonic like the los angeles phil harmonic okay this is all new to me guys so bear with me okay
let's just hear the orgasm. Are we doing that?
I think so.
Oh.
Okay.
I'll run it back.
Okay.
That's good.
It probably sounds really good in headphones.
The question I have, and I've kind of skimmed this article.
Maybe it's in here was the orgasm because of the music that she was enjoying
so much or was uh something extracurricular going on up there in the mezzanine section um
well um one witness said um because they interviewed witnesses because that's what you do
when someone sees at the philharmonic or the phil i saw the
girl after it happened and i assume that she had an orgasm because she was heavily breathing and
her partner was smiling and looking at her like in an effort to not shame her it was quite beautiful
i bet it was you sick fuck okay it's it, it's unclear what exactly was going on up there.
There's a quote by someone saying,
one can't know exactly what happened,
but it seemed very clear that the sound
was an expression of pure physical joy.
Pee Wee Herman does this,
and he's getting hauled off in handcuffs.
Yeah, I really am curious what exactly was going on here.
Double standard. Maybe the music was so fucking good. I just don't think it was. of yeah that i'm really i really am curious what exactly was going on here double standard maybe
the music was so good i just don't think it was like tchaikovsky's fifth right
because it wasn't his first one of my favorites wasn't his sixth the fifth the one that everybody
knows like of course definitely the one that's an e minor composed between may and august 1888
first performed in st petersburg he's a russian feller i try not
to climax in front of the minors that's fair that's just a rule i have for myself what's the
worst place to do this to come to have an orgasm yeah like a male orgasm or a female orgasm they're
different uh let's just say an audio an audible one's messier. Okay. It's true.
Church is a good guess.
Worst places.
Yeah.
To loudly, audibly.
Yeah, she was projecting.
Just do it in your own bedroom.
It's not a big deal.
That's probably the safest place to do it. Or your living room.
Or your kitchen.
Like, wherever.
But if you own or lease that plot of land,
do it there instead of a place that's public.
They were hooking up up there, weren't they?
I don't know.
I feel like that's a bad place to hook up.
Was she on drugs?
You gotta
think that that's in the ballpark.
Was this a sold-out show? Maybe Molly.
Ecstasy. MDMA.
I would do Molly before the LA Philharmonic.
Maybe a CBD.
That's what I do before I go to my Bob Weir concerts.
One CBD?
Did you have that moment?
Do exactly one CBD.
I did not have an orgasm while I was there.
The guitar tech came out to give him a new guitar,
and Dylan's just...
But I could see how that could happen.
What, you didn't... I don't. During Terrap could see how that could happen. What, you didn't...
I don't.
During Terrapin Station Suite?
Like around minute 23,
you didn't start coming?
He went the F off during that one.
He did.
He actually did, yeah.
Yeah.
Horn section was going crazy.
Oh, the horns, man.
Are you kidding?
Dude, shout the wolf for us.
Well, I think...
I think Dylan,
you should be redeemed.
I think it is cool to call it the LA Phil.
I think that's just kind of like,
yeah,
no,
but Dylan thought that someone's name was LA Phil.
I thought there was a,
like Vegas.
Tommy thought there was a musical performer named LA Phil,
which is not like a crazy thing to assume since it's in the headline.
No,
it's not.
It's not,
it's not,
but it's funny.
It's like,
I'm on it.
I'm,
I'm more surprised that you just didn't know what the LA,
like the word Phil harmonic was. I've never heard that phrase in my't know what the word philharmonic was.
I've never heard that phrase in my life.
Yeah.
What is it?
Who are they?
I associate it with an orchestra of some sort.
Okay.
There's a New York philharmonic.
You guys are very familiar.
When I hear the word philharmonic, I imagine essentially an orchestra.
I don't know how close the two are related.
Maybe.
Multi-instrument ensemble.
Yeah.
Maybe she was sitting really close to a speaker,
and there was a heavy bass portion of the performance.
We're doing Howard Stern now.
Honestly, maybe she could.
I mean, crazier things have probably happened.
That's why they tell you don't sit on the speakers.
Private parts.
Right.
Never saw it.
I was very excited as a kid
to see it and it was fine there's a scene where a young lady uh straddles a speaker at home and
he's in the mic going well yeah have you seen i mean have you watched the howard stern show on
television because they just straight up had girls sit on like sad... Well, it's pretty much what I live for in the late 90s. Oh, the Sibians? Okay.
What?
Are you talking about the Sibians?
It's pronounced Siobhan.
And we're talking succession on Wednesday.
I think it's Sibian.
You know what I'm talking about, Dave.
Yeah, I do.
Don't fucking act like you know what I'm talking about.
You're the pervert.
I'm going to let you...
Yeah, you're the one bringing up Sibians, weirdo.
Just saying. This woman has a loud orgasm. I'm going to let you, yeah, you're the one bringing up Sibians, weirdo. Yeah. Just saying.
This woman had a loud orgasm.
I don't like that he said that word
or the word messy
during this whole process.
Yeah.
We all know Ronaldo's a goat.
Oh,
God,
I don't know what we're doing anymore.
Anyway,
good for this.
Are we going to bring up the fact
that you bought the bike from Bruno?
You're going to bring that up too?
You sicko.
You keep trying to put that on me,
do it. This guy this guy no you're
the one okay okay just don't y'all if you're gonna if you're gonna do it make sure it's in
when the there's a lull in the music which i feel like this was not an accident this might
have been a prank of some sort and you know what's shout out to her and him for that matter if i'm uh la phil
i'm just gonna i'm gonna own this like yeah i i did that with my music
you know like you're gonna you're gonna put that in the marketing materials like
like we made a woman we made a woman come just by being so good at what we do if you're the guy
if you're like the dude or the or the woman uh who just
finished like their part and that happens are you like like thank you yep also you're welcome yep
was it the oboe it was the oboe wasn't it i think it was actually the oh well that's good see like a
orgasm yeah speaking of orgasms you guys want to hear about this 30 ounce pork chop
dude i have a lot of questions about this i wish you hadn't sent a photo of this earlier because
it's all been thinking about so one thing i really enjoy is just like feuds i think we should get
more feuds with people just in general i love i love a good meat feud. Let's start a feud with that other media company that's in Austin.
Well, there's a...
Per Instagram and Texas Monthly,
there's a new humongous pork chop in town.
The fact that we already know what the original humongous pork chop in town is
speaks volumes about that pork chop in general.
Of course, we're talking about Perry's.
Okay.
The Perry's pork chop is so freaking good.
They have a lunch special on Friday,
and it's very, very good.
So, you know the portion,
the lunch portion pork chop is smaller than the dinner one.
Are you aware of that?
The dinner one's 32 ounces.
I just looked it up.
At least 32 ounces.
That's too much for lunch.
That's the dinner one.
Yeah.
Okay.
Dave?
Well, this is at a restaurant called 1845 which i think is also the same name as uh like a yellowstone series the one spin-off of a spin-off
the lunch one is 18 ounces by the way it's perfect for lunch
it's a legendary pork chop in town if you're trying to close a big boy deal on a friday you're going to perry's lunch and it is or're trying to close a big boy deal on a Friday,
you're going to Perry's Lunch.
And it is really, really good.
Or if you just closed a big boy deal on a Thursday night,
you go to Perry's Lunch the next day to Sally.
They serve it with applesauce?
Well, now this restaurant, 1845,
has specifically made a pork chop, quote,
to compete with Perry's.
I love that.
This is a heat-seeking missile at the Perry's HQ.
It's a shot across
the bow build your brand just to go with the king i love this there was a restaurant in my hometown
and they said that they were they were they named their direct competitor immediately it didn't go
well everyone immediately was like that seems unnecessary like what what kind of uh industry
we're talking american food oh okay we're. Okay. We're still in food.
But it was like, we want to beat these guys.
And it was like, hold on, hold on, hold on here.
Like a little friendly competition is fine.
But like if you just come out and say we're trying to put these guys out of business, like that's – now you're just being an asshole.
I mean it's kind of a cool strategy because it's like we are – we're here and we're like – it's like a marketing ploy, right?
Like we're going for the title.'re talking about on our podcast but also like you are also kind of
implying that we know that they are better at this than we are and we're going to try and take
that from them so it's like you're giving them a lot of credit while also announcing your presence
on the scene so it's kind of a double-edged sword if you you will, Dave. Wow. 1845 is to Dylan Brooks what Perry's is to LeBron James.
Think about that.
Okay.
Sure.
A little topical stuff.
I mean, check out Too Much Dip.
Recording tomorrow.
It makes me want to try it, so maybe it's working.
It looks phenomenal.
I just don't know if I need 32 ounces anymore.
I just don't.
I know some of that's the bone.
Y'all don't want to hear this,
but I think even the lunch special
is too much pork chop.
If I finish it,
and I have finished it before,
I don't feel good.
It's a day ruiner if you finish it.
It's a lot of meat.
It's good leftover too,
but it's simply a lot of pork chop
for a lunch serving.
This pork chop looks really fucking good.
What is another restaurant
that needs someone to challenge the throne?
Like they need some competition.
Like someone needs to step up and be like, hey, Dairy Queen, they've been kind of getting
complacent.
We're going to challenge the belt buster combo.
Honestly, I don't know what restaurant.
So can I take your question and answer it in kind of a roundabout way?
You can.
I don't know who did this.
I don't know what restaurant's responsible for this.
I don't know when it happened. But something changed know what restaurant's responsible for this. I don't know when it happened,
but something changed in the last six months
at Matt's El Rancho.
Something tangibly changed,
and the food is better.
I wish you wouldn't announce that to the whole world
because it's already too crowded.
It's too crowded,
but it's weird to me
that something immediately flipped,
and suddenly the food's just tasting better.
On last Thursday, I went there,
and I got...
Let me guess. I got beef fajita went there and I got... Let me guess.
I got beef fajita nachos.
I got them poncho style.
Oh, really?
You swagger jacked me.
They were so fucking good.
They were the best I've had there.
Just saying, dog.
What'd you have for your entree since nachos are an appetizer?
Here's the thing.
That was my entree.
Okay.
Getting nachos at a Tex-Mex place is kind of,
you're wrong in the rest of the menu.
You're disrespecting the rest of the menu.
Here's the thing.
I've been there so many freaking times,
and I've had just about everything on the menu
that I've reached a point where I'm just going to order what I want,
and I'm not there to impress anybody.
And they're so good.
They're so good, and they're filling.
Do you not eat chips and salsa leading up to your nachos poncho style?
I do.
Here's the thing, though.
If you get a half-
How many tortillas are you eating, my man?
Listen, listen.
If you get a half order of the nachos, which is what I do, they don't just pile up stacks
of chips.
They very methodically build out each nacho.
It's only like five chips on your plate.
And it just makes it so much more enjoyable that way for me.
You know what I mean?
You got the picture in your head, what I'm saying?
You can also, if maybe you don't want the chip,
you can just eat the steak right off of the chip.
And I've done that before too.
I'm telling you, man.
You don't have to eat the chip, he's saying.
It's a move, dog.
Anyway.
No.
Is there another restaurant in Austin that's really well-known for, like, one item on the menu?
Aside from the Perry's Pork Chop.
That's a hard question.
I don't have an immediate answer to this.
There are great restaurants all over the city.
Well, obviously, like, Olive Garden you associate with Shrimp Scampi.
It's not.
So, like, somebody new needs to come along and say, you know what? I'm coming for the scampi it's not so like somebody neat somebody new needs to come along
and say you know what i'm coming for the scum i'm tired i'm tired of this they're they get all the
pub they haven't changed the recipe in years check this scampi out and maybe matt's with the bob
armstrong dip there are there are competitors to that i feel like a lot of places have the
what is the bob armstrong ground beef avocado avocado guacamole guacamole queso queso but it's dead oh we should do a queso meme
put write that down randy hey randy can you get a photo of taylor swift from 2016 and meme it
fucking good taylor swift's hot right now she's on the eras tour have you guys seen this
in queso everybody loves queso.
This is good stuff.
This is good stuff.
Working it out here on the... Oh, Randy.
Oh, that was quick.
He just real-time memed us.
He Vindogged us.
This is good.
Where do we find this restaurant?
I don't know.
1845.
I couldn't figure out where it's going in Austin.
I do believe there is a Flower Mound location.
Flower Mound, Texas.
A little suburb of Dallas.
I'll probably wait until it comes here.
Up around Coppell.
Home of the Cowboys.
Coppell.
This is also so large, they bring it out on a cutting board.
I kind of like that.
This is something where you and the boys,
if you want to do something before you get dessert,
you can do this.
After a foursome.
Can I ask a dumb question?
Yeah.
Actually, I don't think it's dumb.
I think a lot of people have this question. They're actually i don't think it's dumb i think a lot
of people have this question they're just too afraid to ask it when you get something bone in
at a restaurant like is there a number that i should be thinking in my head that that bone
weighs so that i can equate the meat to what i want personally because like i like when i get
a fillet and i know the difference between like your six your eight and your ten ounces but i
never know how much that bone actually weighs when i'm getting a steak. And I don't order bone.
It's probably a once-a-year thing for me.
If you do a bone and ribeye,
it's probably six ounces of bone.
Half ounce per inch
on a cooked beef rib bone.
Okay.
Okay.
Half ounce.
But then I'd have to ask the waiter
how long that bone is.
You got to measure it.
Hey, dude.
You ever measure it?
Plus, it's their money. Hey you pull out your little uh whatever it's called
tape measure you're like yeah do you bring those to restaurants usually i have one on my
chain wallet do you not keep one on your belt at all times next to my bottle that's some alpha
shit dudes who carry pocket knives at all times are different. Do we need to make tactical sandals?
No.
My buddy came up with the tactical phone case,
making a Swiss Army phone case.
This was like a long time ago, and he had it all thought out. He went through it, and he was super into the idea.
And then I saw an article that got posted,
and these dudes got millions of dollars of investment
of essentially making a Swiss Army phone case.
And it was just the devastation on his face when I told him.
Didn't they sponsor us?
That was probably somebody that we talked to.
No.
We didn't have that.
I would have squad-ooshed it, dude.
I couldn't do my man Max like that.
Squad-oosh.
He said.
I can't just be pumping another person's products right in Max's face.
That would be rude.
You should have patented it.
You got to have that patent pending.
When you see that patent pending, you know it's real.
You're like, well, fuck me.
I guess I'll back off.
My favorite moment of any Shark Tank
is when someone says that they have the patent
and you just see everyone in the chairs go like,
okay, okay, we can cook with this.
Because if they're like, well, is this a proprietary?
No, I got the patent last year.
Everyone starts to say, okay.
It's the meme where it's like,
you sit forward with the controller.
Yeah, I'm listening.
Yeah, you see Mr. Wonderful,
his wheels start turning.
If you got a patent
and you did a million in sales in a year,
you're going to get an offer.
My other favorite part of Shark Tank
is when somebody tells them
how long they've been doing it for
and they're like,
and it's not your full-time job. And they're like, I think you should stop doing it. You've been doing it for and they're like and it's not your full-time job and they're like i think you should stop doing it
you've been doing it for 10 years and it hasn't worked it's not viable sometimes honesty is the
best policy they'll hit him with some truth sometimes i like it when uh when that does
happen they find out about the patent and then mark's like uh i'll give you uh 800 000 for 40
and i'm just i just want the patent and like i don't really want you guys. I don't really need any other stuff.
I think there's money in just that.
Okay, fair enough.
That's kind of the dream, actually.
Mr. Wonderful is the one who's always most likely
to just abandon ship completely and be like,
I'll buy your whole company right now.
I haven't watched that show in so long.
Should we take watch media to it or what?
No.
Oh. Who's going to do the pitch right andy no randy would have like a briefcase that he opened up and like flowers
would pop out and mark would just be like get out of here what are we doing here you you have to be
careful because if you get mark cuban towards the end of a long day of taping he's got such a short
fuse on that show you got to get him early on.
Yeah.
He'll just like, he'll interrupt you and be like,
hey, before you go any further, just let you know,
I don't know anything about this industry, so I'm out.
Dude, I respect it when they do that.
I don't even want, and that's also the best way to do it
so you don't have to be like the third person
and tell them you're out.
I love it when they just stop it short
and it's like, nope, done.
I would 100% try to play like a Mavs angle
and be like, hey, I've been such a big fan for such a long time.
And then he would break my heart and then I'd cry like a little bitch.
Because I am a little bitch.
You are a little bitch, actually.
That is fact.
Very, very, very true.
Half inch per inch or half ounce per inch.
Never really thought about how much that bone weighed.
Doesn't that always make you wonder?
Don't you wonder though?
Like, dude, I don't need that much meat.
Like, can I just get an actual reading from this rand randy you'll be uh happy
to learn a typical t-bone is about 12 to 18 ounces he bone did you know that looks like you did you're
shaking your head yeah of course i did the tomahawk bone though that's a lots a lot of bone
they call me bone thugs when i order that at the restaurant i don don't think they do. Yeah. I don't think they do.
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Randy, can you toss a graphic up on the screen for us?
I know I didn't tell you beforehand.
Sure, what graphic?
I have no idea what you're talking about.
From our next news story,
if you just click a link,
it'll probably be there.
This headline threw me off so much.
Why?
Can I just read the headline?
Yeah.
The headline says,
Dildo Man's photo of a Newfoundland iceberg will be hard to beat this tour's season.
Didn't you go with that to a theme party one time?
So I'm thinking thinking all right um
dildo man what does that mean that's the worst superhero right or it's just you
depends who you talk to here's the thing that makes it so confusing all right the iceberg they
took a picture of is shaped like a big old dildo a big a big old dick ice dick there it is shaped like a big old dildo. A big old dick.
Ice dick.
There it is.
So like, all right.
Oh, wow.
It's a good ass ice dick.
Dildo, man.
What does that even mean?
This dude's from a place called Dildo.
There's a lot happening in this headline.
Yeah, did you guys know there was a city in Newfoundland
called Dildo?
No, that's why I had to look it up, and I found it.
I'm looking at it now.
How did they not change the city name after X amount of years? Because I feel like
Dildo is ripe for that. It's a town of only 1,200 people. Okay, from this particular photo,
it even looks like there's a... What, Dave? Do you want to say it? Say it ahead? No,
did they alter this photo? They put a filter on there to make it look i think a little bit more
like realistic why are you accusing this dildo man of of changing this photo david but the guy
who seems like they slapped the uh the uh veiny filter on it the guy who took the picture of the
dildo shaped iceberg is from dildo is this a okay his last is this guy's great his name's ken ken pretty ken pretty hey pretty
hey pretty boy ken hey they call him kenny pretty don't they hey kim pretty kenny let me see that
let me see that iceberg dildo shot dog the name ken needs to come back yeah i don't know it will
after this movie that comes out this summer our Our caddy at Spanish that one time.
Ken.
Shout out to Ken.
Ken's self-aware.
Ken knows that sex sells, and that's why Ken said this.
The first picture I took was of that because it obviously looked like a male penis,
and I knew I'd get a lot of comments.
You got to take that photo.
Dude, he's got the content, Gene.
He knows what he's doing.
He straight up said, I'm taking it because it's going to get a lot of comments.
And get a lot of comments he did uh he said that he admits it likely didn't look very stable and will likely topple soon or quote go limp as he puts it all
right let's get that dude how does global warming affect this you got to think negatively it's
already broken oh yeah yeah it's toast he goes uh he goes on to say uh. It's already broken. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's toast.
He goes on to say, well, it's getting a lot of attention in his hometown, this picture.
He said, I'm from dildo.
So imagine if that came into dildo, how much traction it would get.
It got traction in dildo.
So what, is there a GoFundMe to save this thing?
Like I told you, it's already broken.
Put some fans on it. It's candle burned out long before its legend ever will.
I wish they had a camera on it as it just slowly melted,
and you could do something with it,
maybe throw a candle in the wind behind it.
Tiny Dancer.
There's a number of songs.
It didn't actually go away, Dave.
They actually caught a guy from Midlothian trying to shove it into a fish at a fishing tournament um so that it would
weigh more shout out flounder there's a picture further down the article um from from a distance
and it looks even more like a dick in that picture it is quite remarkable yeah oh wow there's one randy good job oh yeah i mean oh we memed it
somebody that's the one right there i'm talking about let's peep the memes it's how does it i
don't understand how this iceberg even like exists in this capacity do icebergs float around like a
lot or do they kind of stay in like one general place due to currents and stuff you're asking the
wrong guy i think with uh with global warming dylan climate change then yeah i think that they do move around i don't know that
for sure though but they probably do you know unless you believe the conspiracy theorists out
there that an iceberg sunk that one uh cruise ship a long time ago people died
that would be the worst way to go if your if your vessel ran into this the big ice dildo because
like the captain and like had like everybody up there was like dude look at this fucking thing
look at this iceberg is that not look does that look like okay go get a camera next thing you know
boom you're fucking freezing just spears the side of your ship one of my friends still calls me
dildo don't like it i don't like that either i don't that word i have no issue with the word but i don't like calling people see my name is dylan
d-i-l very insulting i don't like it it's worse than a boner oh yeah worse than a chotch no offense
it stinks man it's honestly just low-hanging fruit it is like like you just got you gotta just tell your friend
that he's probably better than that like come on man is he better than that is he better than that
because that's like the lowest hanging fruit you can do for it's pretty funny guy but he's
very much a dry humor kind of guy he's low energy huh what's up dildo sounds like my kind of guy
well shout out to ken how many followers do you have randy let's click pretty
uh maybe not oh it's his facebook never mind this is my fault don't go to facebook okay now i know
too much about ken yeah he's got kids i saw his family why did randy randy had already requested
him uh it's my fault yeah now we've seen the dildo man's family it's just not not the same
kind of ruined the whole segment kind of ruined the whole fucking segment huh no it's all right we still
have fun oh i just i just don't see i just don't see us coming back from that what what a fucking
awful time for my laptop to die you literally slammed laptop shut on a monday morning wow i'm
worried about i'm legitimately
worried about this laptop it's already been having issues open it up what it did today was
something i'd never seen before on any computer um i can go get some rice or something maybe
to put it in no well let's try rebooting it first we could just unplug it for a while
hey when you call a customer service for like your internet company or Wi-Fi,
and they're like, all right, just unplug the router for 30 seconds.
Do you actually do 30 seconds?
I've always heard 10.
10's the number.
10's the reset number.
It's like AT&T was like 30.
Whatever the number is.
They're like, has to be this number.
It's the longest 30 seconds of your day.
You're just sitting there. I mean, Dave to i hate to break this to you i'm
about to hit you some breaking news they know how long you do it for they can see on their end yeah
so like you you're not you're not helping yourself by doing it for less yeah i know i'm just seeing
if y'all do that yeah see it on their end like one time she was like sir please unplug it and
don't plug it back in for X amount of seconds.
And I unplugged it and immediately plugged it back in.
And she was like, I know that it's on right now.
Can you please turn it off?
And I was like, yeah, you're right.
I don't know.
Like, how am I motivated enough to call them and then not follow the steps that they tell me to do?
That's what I always wonder.
I'm just waiting for him to send me a new router or something.
Like, just send me the new updated modem or whatever the fuck.
You know how it is.
I don't know the difference between a modem and a router.
No one really does. The router routes it.
Can someone tell me
why I need a router?
No.
I truly don't know.
Randy's upset over there.
Randy's fucking...
Randy's on day two of his hangover, so he's in a bad way.
I'm surprised you don't...
You're not worse right now, Randy.
What?
I'm fine.
Like I told you yesterday, I had a complete
day to do nothing yesterday.
I got to nap. I got to just finish
out our banks. I went on a nice little hot girl
walk. It was great.
What? A hot girl walk?
Tell me you don't listen to retail therapy without dunking.
Thank you, Randy.
I didn't want to have to dunk on Dylan like that.
What did your hot girl walk include?
Did you listen to music?
Listen to music.
Walk to H-E-B.
Pop the top.
Try to get some sun.
Fuck yeah.
You were walking down Brody?
Oh yeah.
I just doxxed him.
Damn, dude.
Cause a car act. That's a seven car pile up with that business going on. Chill out. I just doxed him. Damn, dude.
Caused a car act.
That's a seven-car pileup with that business going on.
Chill out.
Chill out.
Send those puppies out.
You got to watch out, man.
Those buses, they'll stop and pick people up.
Don't get caught behind them.
All right.
Well, hey, your day's going to get better, Will. I feel it for you, man.
I'm having just a very fragmented tough one today. No, you're going to get better, Will. I feel it for you, man. I'm having just a very fragmented, tough one today.
No, you're going to be fine.
We got Meantown later.
We're going to get shit popping.
We're going to have a weird week.
Ooh, we can put on the LA Phil on YouTube in there.
See if anybody...
Do they have that live performance from her being there?
Oh, maybe.
We can add some.
We can add some audio.
Ooh-wee.
That's the noise.
Oh, you got a big week coming up. Yeah week's gonna be a weird week programming wise guys since we got a few extra minutes at the end of this episode let's talk
this out uh i'm not gonna be here wednesday thursday next week we're gonna miss you man
i'm gonna miss you guys i'm truly gonna miss you guys tell the folks where you're gonna be
we're gonna be uh barrett and i if you haven't already, go do this.
Check out the Instagram stories at whatever.
Go to Retail Therapy and sign up to go to the event in New York City for the Retail Therapy event.
And if you're going to the Kentucky Derby and you see us, please yell our names because we will say hi to you.
But I apologize.
I'm not going to be around the next week for a while.
And I apologize.
I would love to be here, but got to go get some shit done remotely.
Duty calls.
You're going for work, man.
You guys are going to have fun.
Really scared that Dylan's not going to be there to keep me under control.
I'm going to have to –
I don't trust Brett.
I'm going to have to give Brett my playbook for you.
Yeah.
I think you have to give it to Barrett.
I don't trust Brett to follow that play think you have to give it to Barrett. I don't trust Brett to follow that playbook.
I'll give it to Barrett.
If anything,
I think Brett's most likely
to buy me the mint julep
that takes me over the edge.
Are you going to get
one of those $1,000 ones?
Well,
is it a company card kind of thing?
Or is this one of those things
that I would have to do out of pocket?
This is on you, player.
No.
No.
I think I'm going to have
exactly one mint julep.
Those things treat me tough.
They taste amazing, but that's the problem.
They are good.
Heavy bourbon, Dave.
The mint julep.
Don't think I've ever had one.
Sound delightful.
You'd like it.
NF confession.
It's bourbon forward.
It's not your typical pappy Mountain Dew, but it's close.
It's close.
Okay.
Yep.
All right. Can we call it? Yep. I's close. Okay. Yeah. All right.
Can we call it?
Yeah.
I'm going to go try to, I'm going to go to the Genius Bar.
See you guys later.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye. Thank you.