Circling Back - Posi Vibes Only
Episode Date: January 20, 2021We're only doing positive vibes today, people. Scientists found a perfectly preserved dinosaur butthole, Joe Biden's Peloton is a national security risk, Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina candles are exploding... in London, This Weekend in Fun, and Brett's Breaking News. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (18:54) The Dinosaur Butthole (28:31) Joe Biden's Peloton (45:51) Gwyneth Paltrow’s Exploding Vagina Candle (56:52) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Headspace: www.headspace.com/circling (free one-month trial) Public Rec: www.publicrec.com/circling (10% off) Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (STELLA20 for 20% off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge my name's
will defries to my right david ruff do you want to announce the uh the special at Wilmonds, the Hail to the Chief special going today?
Yeah, we actually have some special performers playing at Wilmonds, which is pretty good for tonight.
El Chief and Dodgers.
Yeah, Kodak's going to be there.
Lil Wayne's going to be there.
Joe Exotic could not make it, unfortunately.
His limo's going to be there, though.
Did his limo have a...
Did the back of the limo...
Was that a truck bed?
Or was that kind of like...
Yeah, it was a Dodge Ram.
It was like a patio out back.
It looked like a cage for big predatory cats.
It made me wonder if you could be in the limo
and then walk to the back of the limo
and just be on the patio just hanging out,
kind of mobbing, you know?
It seems dangerous.
I don't think Joe Exotic's really worried about danger, dude.
He literally made his nut on big cats.
I don't want to give that airtime.
Dude, the whole thing is just a stunt by truck month.
Fair.
Do you think big truck is infiltrating the mainstream media?
Well, I mean, I think if you really look at it and follow the money, yeah.
Y'all don't want to talk about that, though.
It's very true.
Dylan.
Oh, man.
They just sent that limo in case he was pardoned?
They said a 100% chance.
His legal team said that there was a 100% chance he was getting pardoned.
And he's just still sitting there in the clink like, man.
I don't think Joe Exotic should get pardoned.
Like, I don't think that, but I wanted him to get pardoned.
Because I wanted to see the footage from the limo.
That would have been the greatest footage of all time.
Wait, what was the charge?
Like, murder for hire or some shit like that?
Like, something pretty serious?
Right?
Yeah, he tried to have that bitch Carol Baskin killed.
He shouldn't get parted.
Yeah, I'm not positive Joe Exotic, like, you belong in jail.
Twitter had the bit that, like, no, he needs to get parted.
Like, I don't really think he needs to get parted.
He's probably exactly where he should be.
There were some good Carol Baskin tweets out there yesterday.
That bitch.
Did you guys watch Tiger King?
Are we talking about that today?
Didn't the second part just come out on HBO?
I haven't watched it yet, unfortunately.
Yeah, okay, we need to watch it and talk about it.
Yeah.
Yas.
Yas.
Yas, queen.
Dude, I was just sitting around all day yesterday
just thinking about how much I stand Victoria on The Bachelor.
Stop.
You're just getting under my skin now.
You can bet on the next Bachelor and Bachelorette, and she's up there.
No, my bookie just took her off the table.
The odds were too favorable.
Wow.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Something tells me y'all are bullshitting
she might be hosting
actually
she's replacing
Chris Harrison
it'll go from
respect the throne
it'll go from
the most popular show
on television
to the least
because she is
ch-ch-ch-trash
Victoria Queen
better
greater than
Freddie Mercury Queen
I'll say it
David
what are you doing
yeah
first of all did you see the movie wasn't that good first of all Queen is an excellent Mercury Queen. I'll say it. David, what are you doing?
First of all, did you see the movie?
First of all, Queen is an excellent, excellent band.
I will not stand for the... They got a few good ones.
I respect Queen and I respect their catalog, but I will never put on Queen just driving.
Oh, I will.
That movie sucked.
I disagree with that take.
I actually enjoyed it.
Elton John movie was much better. Yes, I'm comparing them because they're both musical you know why i like
you know why i like one is an actual musical however i watched it on a plane and it's very
rare for me to watch a movie on a plane and not enjoy it which movie did you watch on a plane
the queen one oh what was it called bohemian rhapsody i didn't okay here's my take i don't
know at will mons we call it bohemian rhapsody i didn't't... Okay, here's my take. I don't know. At Wilma's, we call it Bohemian Rhapsody.
I didn't love the movie,
but it gave me a much greater appreciation
for the band and for their music.
I have the utmost respect for Freddie Mercury's body of work.
I found myself enjoying their music more
after watching the movie.
That makes sense.
That makes sense.
That's all it was.
It's like they just hit play on their 10 best songs.
Yeah, and now that's what's tied about it.
You could have just listened to their greatest hits.
It gives you the story, David.
Come on.
Oh, yeah, the real story.
In my opinion, the Queen movie was much better than the Elton John movie.
The Elton John movie trended too musically for me.
Yeah, it wasn't awesome.
And I stan Elton John.
I actually listened to a bunch of Elton John last night at the crib.
Just vibing?
I was, man.
No phones?
I love EJ.
Everybody knows that.
Like, what do you do?
You're just, like, sitting on your couch?
You don't have to lie to sound like you're really into music.
Mona Lisa's in Mad Hatter's, just chilling.
I was in the kitchen, like, cleaning and making my dinner and just vibing.
You can just say you put on Tiny Dancer on loop.
It was Posse vibes only in my kitchen last night.
So y'all would not have been allowed.
Do you have a sign that says positive vibes only in your kitchen?
It says posi vibes.
Posvi?
Did you get it from Waco?
I don't get that.
Have you read the scripture?
It's me, David Koresh.
Is this a Branch Davidian thing? You're in W in waco now no i was more making a joke about like
chip gains dylan oh yeah i don't do chip gains humor i don't i don't fuck with that do you know
about the seven seals dylan stop doing what like koresh like everything everything's like fair game
for you except chip games just don't bring chip games content into my world i'm gonna swat it out
like slap the table don't talk about chip like that more known world. I'm going to swat it out. Dylan, like, slaps the table.
Don't talk about Chip like that.
War known in Waco, Chip Gaines or David Koresh?
Chip Gaines.
Dude, Chip.
Chip somehow did it to him.
David Koresh has been dead for, how long ago was that?
20 plus years?
1995?
I feel like Chip Gaines, like, I feel like he has, like, a saltwater shower installed into his, like, place just so his hair always looks crusty from the ocean.
He is, like, the human embodiment of Salt Life.
Does Joanne, Joanna, what's her name?
Jojo, no, Joanna.
I could see her having a Salt Wife sticker on the back of her car.
That sucks.
Yes.
You know that they've entertained that at the Salt Life.
Salt Baby on board.
that at the Salt Life. Salt Baby on board.
You think Salt, like they hired Salt
Bay to play like his 50th birthday
and like he just sprinkled salt in his
beautiful hair.
That'd be kind of tight.
How does he do it?
That's exactly how he does it. He does it all cocky.
No, he does it like this.
Dave was just doing it how Bill Gates would do it.
Hey, Dylan.
Don't do that, David.
Oh, don't do the middle finger.
There's no question about who it's for.
Don't do the whole lady middle finger.
There's no question who this middle finger's for.
It's like over the steering wheel, too.
It's like, you cut me off.
For you.
Yeah, you're going 18 into a 30.
Like, get out of my way, lady.
What are you doing?
Didn't you go 18 into a 30? Like, get out of my way, lady. What are you doing? Didn't you go 18 into a 30?
Thought it was the other way around.
What's your problem, dude?
What's your deal?
I thought it was positive vibes only.
Yeah, you're crushing my vibes right now.
You're trying to.
You can't say positive vibes.
You can't crush these positive vibes.
You can't say positive vibes only and then not let us make fun of Chip Gaines.
Like, that's literally in our wheelhouse.
Mostly, I don't really know who he is.
I know about him, but I don't know what he looks like.
You're more of a Chris Gaines guy.
I don't watch that stupid show.
Chris Gaines, who's actually playing the inauguration.
His net worth is not what I thought it would be.
They used to call me Chris Gaines when I was at the gym,
just like moving big boy weight.
Do you get it?
Like Gaines?
Yeah, I understand.
Okay.
I heard you're doing less weight, more reps.
No.
No, I'm not.
I'm going up in weight, Dave, all across the board.
Dude, just wait.
Wait until I unveil this new bod that I'm working on.
You're going to shit yourself. I don't care. You, just wait. Wait till I unveil this new bod that I'm working on. You're going to shit yourself.
I don't care.
You're going to.
You're going to eat one too many avocados.
Nah, dude.
You need to get up to 225 if you're serious about gains.
I don't want to be 225.
I'm actually losing weight.
Oh, well, see, that's how you know you're not gaining.
Right.
Call you Chip Cut. Scientifically, what you just you're not gaining. Right. Call you Chip Cut.
Scientifically, what you just said makes a lot of sense.
Call you Chris Less.
I feel great.
Less as opposed to gaining.
What's the opposite of gaining?
Losing?
Chris Loser?
Chris Loser.
I just said Chip Cut.
Yeah, dude.
Listen one time to your fucking co-host.
What is Chip Cut?
Oh, like he's cutting?
It's a cutting phase.
I like him.
Yeah.
What's your problem?
Chip loser just,
Chip loser is not
Posse vibes only.
That's for sure.
That's mean.
Happy Inauguration Day.
We have a new president.
Yes.
You hear about this?
Yeah, I'm not fucking watching it
because I'd rather record this podcast.
I'm watching a UFC fight.
Why are they
competing i actually slept in really late this morning so i haven't really seen anything going
on besides the fact that w is wearing a robeck mask it's just a robeck stellar 20 and personal
jake you can't talk rest of the episode or else you owe me a coke i'll just buy you a coke did
you hear me will a coke not coke thank you what inauguration, Joe Biden. That's good. That's good.
You watched the documentary.
Yeah, last night I took some time out of my night, my busy night,
and I decided to watch the 30-minute documentary on Vice about Papa Roach
and their recording of that song.
Smooth Criminal?
No.
Oh.
I have to say, not the best way to spend 26 minutes.
Really?
It's fine.
It kind of makes you feel a little bad when you hear what the inspiration from the song is and stuff,
but I'm still going to keep doing the jokes.
I will say, for how that band was pretty much a one-hit wonder,
all the guys in the band look very put together and good these days.
I'm very happy for Papa Roach. Are they still
doing music? I don't know.
The band was named after the lead singer's
grandpa, whose name was
Papa Roach Jr.
Roach was spelled R-O-A-T-C-H.
Very cool.
The more you know.
Word I'm getting
from my sources is that
Lady Gaga, shout out to my little monsters out there, is absolutely crushing it at the inauguration, which should be no surprise to anybody.
Can we expose you real quick?
What?
Expose it!
There are people out there saying that you're not a little monster because you haven't heard the Rain On Me song, which was released eight months ago.
Yeah, but you know what?
I went and listened to the song, and it's just not good.
It's really good.
That's why it's not on my radar.
Have you ever done a Peloton ride to it?
I think you know the answer to that.
Well, get out of my face.
She is just an amazing artist, David.
Oh, gosh.
Yeah, that's not exactly going out on a limb.
It's a pretty boilerplate take.
Oh, so you agree that she's great?
Yeah, she's sold hundreds of millions of albums worldwide.
Is Dave a little monster?
Welcome. I went and saw the
movie that wasn't that good with her and Bradley
Cooper, but everybody said it was good because
there was a song and Bradley Cooper fake sang it.
Yeah, that's right. Negative vibes only today.
Per Wikipedia, this song...
Why are you bringing neggy vibes in here?
Per Wikipedia, Dylan, this song, Rain On Me, it ended 2020 as Billboard's top song.
Isn't that Hailey Duff?
Best song.
Best song on Billboard.
Maybe not the top song, but the best song.
Time out.
That's not a Hilary Duff song.
I've been on a big time Red Dirt kick lately.
Red Dirt.
I've been Red Dirt boy.
You're all over the place.
Is it Elton John?
You just said you were sitting on your sectional listening to Elton John all last night.
No, he was cleaning.
Probably cleaning the microwave from the steak microwave an hour ago.
I was in the kitchen, dog.
I was in the kitchen.
What's your deal?
Oh, shit.
My steak is bubbling.
Sorry, man.
It's all the politics.
It got me.
I had a toaster oven and I was making a tuna melt.
True story.
Really?
What went on that tuna melt?
We don't need to talk about everything that goes on.
What went on the tuna melt?
No, you made it this way.
Cheese?
It was on whole wheat.
Did you actually make tuna salad or did you just put tuna on bread?
No.
Ahi?
He bought some ahi.
What kind of whole wheat?
Is it Dave's Killer Bread?
It was Whole Foods brand whole wheat bread.
I think it's a Whole Foods brand.
Okay.
It's good bread.
I mean, I'm not going to write home about it, but it's good bread.
You're telling us about it right now.
You asked me about it, you fuck.
Well.
So what happened?
It was supposed to be a Posse vibe episode.
So what's the red dirt you're on?
Oh, I'm all over the place.
Jason Bowen?
No, I'm not doing Jason Bowen.
You don't like Jason Bowen?
I'm still fucking heavy with Tyler Childers, man.
Big time.
Is he red dirt?
A lot of Cody Jinx.
A lot of Cody Jinx.
What's red dirt anymore?
Whiskey Myers.
Yeah, that's red dirt.
Whiskey Myers, take my mind.
That's different.
That's actually a Willie Nelson song, and you changed the lyric because you're...
What?
Because you're bringing neggy vibes in.
How is that negative?
I'm singing songs over here, and you're not.
I'm the only one with the guts to sing.
That was a disrespectful to Willie.
You're kind of like lame Red Dirt artists, to be honest.
Oh, get out of here.
I'm more of a deep cut guy myself.
Oh, who?
Name one.
Like Tim McGraw and shit?
Yes.
Tim McGraw.
Yeah, dude.
Look, a great career.
That guy's music is terrible.
I'm sorry.
I'll say it.
I'm going to throw the flag.
I don't think Tyler Childers is red dirt.
Wow.
I threw the flag.
How would you classify it?
I don't know.
It's not red dirt.
Then you've got to tell me what it is.
Isn't it from West Virginia?
He's from Kentucky.
Very close.
Similar area.
Right?
Kind of.
From where?
What?
Kentucky and West Virginia.
I don't think they're that close.
They're not not close.
You can drive there pretty quickly.
It's just like...
I think it's easier to drive from...
I think it's legitimately faster to drive from Kentucky to West Virginia than it is to drive from Vancouver to Banff.
What about Hartford to Canada?
That's sneaky.
That's actually shorter.
It's shorter to drive from Hartford to Canada than it is to drive from Vancouver to Banff.
Kentucky and West Virginia share a border.
Kentucky and West Virginia share a border.
You can literally drive there in under a minute.
You can walk across it.
You can throw a vortex across it.
Who knew?
Yeah.
No one knew that.
It's a real easy drive, apparently.
You know that El Paso is closer to California than it is to Dallas?
I did know that.
Everyone in Texas tells you that.
That's weird.
David, you did know that.
Yeah, I did.
I've heard that since I was a boy.
You don't know shit.
You know, a lot of people don't know what El Paso means.
It means the Paso.
I'm pretty sure a lot of people. That's right. That's right. You know, a lot of people don't know what El Paso means. It means the Paso. I'm pretty sure a lot of people.
That's right.
That's right.
Crush that.
Let's get some programming notes out of the way.
Go follow Circling Back Pod and watch me on Instagram.
They border each other.
Also, we did discuss briefly our Queen Victoria from The Bachelor.
Go to patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast for all your Bachelor coverage.
Been really enjoying this season, if I'm being honest.
It's been a great one.
It's because I stand a queen.
Our episodes are freaking fire.
I'll say.
Oh, they're freaking fire.
They're good.
Really good.
Also, go check out.
Some are saying they're our best.
Some are saying it's the best.
Some guy who doesn't even watch the show.
Yeah.
Said that on Reddit.
People listen to our podcast and don't even watch the damn show.
I'm pretty sure there was a 20-minute chunk of yesterday's podcast about The Bachelor where we didn't even think about The Bachelor.
Like, I kind of forgot where I was.
Yeah, we were just flowing with the posse vibes that we were creating.
Yeah, there's just posse vibes.
Are we going to just rename Circling Back to posse vibes only?
Dylan had a similar thing that he said, but it wasn't posse vibes.
It was something else.
They're similar.
Don't get dirty with this. Grow up, dude. It't posse vibes. It was something else. They're similar. Don't get dirty
with this.
Grow up, dude. It was postie vibes.
Oh, postie vibes. That's good. I did say that.
Wasn't
Trump trying to give a posthumous
pardon to Bernie Madoff, and he
said ponzi vibes only?
Okay.
Go check out youtube.com slash washed
media. Do your Brandon Boyd joke on here.
Dude, there were numerous people out there.
It didn't do numbers, but there were numerous people in my mention saying that it was one of my better tweets.
Dylan came in here yesterday talking about Brandon Boyd, and I was like, there's no way Dylan knows who Brandon Boyd is.
Put in me while I burst into flames.
There it is. Wait, I forgot who he is. Who is he? The lead singer of Incubus. There it is.
Wait, I forgot who he is.
Who is he?
The lead singer of Incubus.
Oh, yeah.
Ever heard of him?
Found it.
I mean, barely.
Either way, patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast.
Bachelor on Tuesdays.
Voicemails on Fridays.
Let's talk about Headspace real quick as well.
Even in the new year, it's hard to start a new routine.
You guys know that.
Yeah.
Dylan's been trying to, like, gain mass, and he's just losing at a rapid pace.
I love Headspace.
I love it.
Yeah.
I pretty much did a free ad read for it in this week's Sunday Scaries podcast.
Good.
For people who have never dabbled in meditation before but are kind of like,
I kind of want to try it, but I don't really know how to do it,
Headspace walks you through it.
It's perfect for beginners.
Do you know 34% of Americans made a resolution to be less stressed?
That's a great resi.
It's a great one, and Headspace is here to help.
Headspace is your daily dose of mindfulness in the form of guided meditations on an easy-to-use app.
See, it's one of the only meditation apps that's actually advancing the field of mindfulness and meditation
through clinically validated research. It has the distinction of being an app that I think all of us used before
it was ever even a sponsor. Yeah. Yes. And this isn't in the ad copy. I'm just going to throw out
a recommendation here. This is what I did on Scaries. They have a new show on Netflix. And so
if you're thinking about dabbling and getting into meditation, I highly recommend checking out the show.
Not only do you learn about meditation, but you actually get to meditate for a little bit during the show.
Shut that brain off, man.
It's very, very relaxing.
Very relaxing.
But their approach to mindfulness, it can reduce stress, improve sleep, boost focus, can increase your overall sense of well-being.
Plus, I mean, the dude's voice, it just feels great the second you hear it.
Can't you pick the voice?
Do they have different voices?
I only do the main guy.
I only do the main dude.
He's my guy.
I could be wrong.
It's backed by 25 published studies on its benefits, got 600,000 five-star reviews, and
over 60 million downloads.
Can you imagine not being one of the 60 million people that's sitting here right now feeling
more relaxed because you have this on your phone?
It makes it easier for you to build a life-changing meditation practice with mindfulness that works for you on your schedule anytime, anywhere.
You deserve to feel happier, and Headspace is meditation made simple.
Go to headspace.com slash circling.
That's headspace.com slash circling for a free one-month trial with access to Headspace's full library of meditations for every situation.
This is the best deal offered right now.
So head over to headspace.com slash circling today.
Talk about posi vibes.
Seriously.
Posi vibes only, dude.
Can we talk about dinosaur buttholes?
I've been waiting to talk dinosaur b-holes.
You've got to think Headspace was psyched to hear this headline coming up right after that.
So scientists have finally found a dinosaur's butthole.
Well, it took us so long.
That's what I want to know.
Yeah.
Is there not someone that's constantly trying to find keisters out there at the dig sites?
Dude, don't call them keisters.
What's going on?
So a dinosaur that died some 120 million years ago has left behind such an exquisitely preserved
– they say – I don't even know how to pronounce this word for one.
I'm just going to say what it is.
Butthole.
It's an orifice used for defecation, urination,
and copulation.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
All three of those things?
What are you doing?
For some reason, the word orifice grosses me out more than butthole does.
Is it orifice or orifice?
Orifice.
Orifice.
Don't they also have really dope outdoors clothes?
Yeah.
I hate you.
Very expensive, but high end.
Pretty nice.
They're pretty nice.
Orifice.
They say the, quote, unusually fine preservation and fortuitous orientation of this early Cretaceous genital bum combo, which belonged to a dog-sized dinosaur called the Psittacosaurus.
Psittacosaurus.
Parks probably knows all about that thing.
He does.
The Randy-saurus.
Why do we have our dinosaur expert in here today?
Should we call him?
He's in school.
The other Stellosaurus.
Hey, this one's for you.
Thanks, David.
Imagine if you took your kid out of class for the day because he was our dinosaur expert on this podcast.
Just do it.
Yeah, this headline says,
First preserved dinosaur butthole is, quote, perfect and, quote, unique.
You think anyone's ever described your butthole that way?
I don't talk about my butthole publicly.
There's only two people in the world that have ever seen my butthole.
They're my parents.
I'm very protective over this thing. Damn. A man's butthole is just, it's not the best looking people in the world that have ever seen my butthole. They're my parents. I'm very protective over this thing.
Damn.
A man's butthole is just, it's not the best looking thing in the world.
Let's just put it out there.
Why a man's and not?
Because men are typically hairier, Dave.
Really?
Than women.
Uh-huh.
Interesting.
Women normally, they usually take a little more care of that.
Not me.
Some people just bleach it, too.
Yeah, some people do.
Some people don't.
Yeah, some people do.
Some people don't.
Yeah, like everyone in here, to my knowledge.
Some people say they're going to do it, and then they don't.
What makes this butthole so perfect?
Well, funny you ask, because it says dinosaur skin is rare and often patchy when they look at the fossils.
And for some reason, this region always seems to be missing.
I don't know.
So this is a big revelation.
You think that it was ass-eating season and their predators just ate them?
It might have been ass-eating season.
Yeah.
It's a good question.
Isn't it wild how long ago these fuckers were walking around Earth?
We even know that.
What dinosaur is out here snatching up the other dinosaur's buttholes?
Yeah, there's still some fresh b-hole over here if you guys are still hungry.
The Bubba Sparks-a-saurus.
Why?
Because he found you, Miss New Booty.
Booty, booty, booty, booty.
Rocking everywhere.
Eating everywhere.
Literally rocking over there.
Okay.
No.
I'm currently looking at like, they have like, this is an interesting looking butthole, if I'm being honest.
Did you say it has three, it does three different?
It does three different things, Dave.
That's a pretty.
Defecation, urination, and copulation.
In this Vice article, they do a super close above his dinosaur's butthole.
Let's see it.
They get in there.
Are you talking about the one that's all pointed out?
I don't really understand.
I'm talking about the zoomed-in shot of the butthole.
Yeah, they're getting in on this thing.
Yeah.
It's like my urologist.
It has a dorsal lobe.
It's not funny, Dylan.
What do you think they do with this?
It's perfect and unique.
I don't know.
Is Nicolas Cage about to buy this and add it to his dinosaur collection?
I think he's going to steal it.
Are you guys aware of him?
Do we talk about this?
Nick Cage has quite the extensive dinosaur bone collection.
Nicholas Cage spent $150 million on a dinosaur skull.
Pygmy heads and two European castles.
Do you think he'll let me bring Parks over to his crib and just check him out?
I don't know.
Hey, you watched National Treasure for the first time recently.
I told y'all that if I ever become super rich,
I'm going to buy a full-ass skeleton for parks.
Triceratops, maybe.
Maybe a stegosaurus.
You probably could have done it if you didn't sell your Bitcoin
at a loss like two months ago.
Maybe a dilophosaurus.
What about the bubba sparks-a-saurus?
Those are really hard to find.
I don't know if I can do that.
Booty, booty, booty, booty.
Rocking everywhere.
He didn't choose to rhyme.
Ryman chose him.
Is that what he says?
I don't know if it works like that.
How many X's are there in his name?
At least three.
I don't know.
He hasn't popped up on my Spotify in a very long time, if ever.
Miss New Booty, it's one of the more underrated songs.
I found you.
He found her, though.
That's the thing.
What did he do when he found her?
He just pointed, like, guys, right here.
Got her.
X-Marx is up.
So what about this butthole, man?
He was like a pirate leaning over the bow of the ship
with a really old-school-long copper telescope. He's he's like right ahead you think that's how he found her miss new booty right ahead
he had the sextant out
get it sextant on the poop deck i found that i don't know i can leave is he a pirate no i don't
know he kind of went into like a...
I wouldn't hate if they cast Bubba Sparks
in the next Pirates of the Caribbean.
He could replace Johnny Depp.
Who are they going to...
They have to replace him, right?
I mean, I don't know if they're still doing him,
to be honest.
They don't have to do anymore.
We're fine.
One time in like,
I think it was like middle school or something,
like I ended up...
I actually watched Pirates of the Caribbean
in theaters twice in a row
because I was like trying to hit on some girl. girl nice i was supposed to meet her at the early show
and then like she texted like right before we got there and she said she couldn't couldn't go to the
early show so she was going to the late one i was like well i guess i'm sneaking into the second
movie this sounds like a blink 182 song kind of does it's not though okay it's just my life
your life is a movie literally two of them i really i just wanted
after she sent me the text that she couldn't make to the first one i just wanted to cut my life into
pieces wow yum all that to to dunk it down with the papa roach don't what are you reading you
look like you're really puzzled i'm reading about the uh the the cloaca or the cloaca. You need to be careful.
You almost said something different.
Be very careful, Sarah.
What?
The first syllable that came out of your mouth after that was something very different.
What do you think I was going to say?
It sounded like a – I'm not going to say it.
Like another word for penis?
Mm-mm.
Nope.
Yeah, a mini one.
Oh, a mini one.
The clitoris.
Yeah, that's what it sounded like. Okay, Jesus. I wasn't going to say clitoris. Okay, Jesus.
I wasn't going to say clitoris.
Family show.
It's like a sexual organ, too.
There's a sexual...
Dude, get you a butthole that can do both.
There's a sexual element to it.
Most vertebrate animals have evolved cloaca or cloaca
to tend to their sexual and waste removal needs
as opposed to the multiple events animals
or events mammals
use to accomplish
the same task.
What's that called?
That's what copulation means.
Copulation.
Yeah, he,
Will went through this.
We're breathing.
Y'all don't know shit
about the cloaca.
Y'all don't know shit.
Dude,
don't you go to the Amazon
to take that
and hallucinate?
Mm-hmm.
If dinosaur buttholes
made you hallucinate, would you do it? Do you have to eat the butthole? Mm-hmm. If dinosaur buttholes made you hallucinate, would you do it?
Do you have to eat the butthole?
Mm-hmm.
Don't.
You have to dry it out first, though.
And, like, sprinkle it on pizza, like mushrooms or something?
Yeah, you have to make a peanut butter sandwich so it's easier to digest since it tastes kind of weird.
It's hundreds of millions of years old.
It's dried out.
Like, it's good.
Yeah, like, at this point, it's not weird.
It's like jerky.
If it's fossilized booty, it's good. Yeah, like, at this point, it's not weird. If it's fossilized booty,
it's different.
I love a good fossilized booty.
Fossilized booty just hits different.
Bodacious.
I'm sorry.
You have to think that
when, like, the paleontologist,
like, finally, like,
brushed off this part,
that they had to have turned on
Bubba Sparks immediately.
They had to have.
I'm going to go out of limb and say they didn't yo put it hey who's got the aux
put sparks on give me some bubba we did it what's like an intern nurse or doctor called a resident
or like somebody who's like learning and like they don't they don't do the surgery but they're like
they're watching you're looking at me because that looking at me because I'm married to a medical professional.
I have no clue.
I don't know why.
They get the ox.
One of the doctors that Sally works with is a big deadhead, so he always puts on Grateful Dead, and I think Sally kind of likes it.
That's so heady.
Yeah.
Very cool.
I don't know if I want my doctor during surgery listening to a band called Grateful Dead,
but it's still posi vibes.
Grateful Undead is what we're looking for.
I guess it's better than widespread panic.
Not actually.
Or fish.
I actually think fish might be pretty chill.
Dylan's not only tuned out, but he's now moved on to a different story, I can tell.
Yeah, I'm over you guys.
Oh, so do you want to talk about Joe Biden's Peloton? Yeah, I would like to.
Why does Joe Biden have a Peloton?
It's
game season. He's trying to stay in shape. What are we talking about?
I'm not even sold that he has
one, but this
was a big issue yesterday. It's that Joe Biden
has a Peloton and it raises issues at the White
House because of security.
Cyber security risks.
Oh, because it connects to the net.
How can't they get around this?
Like, why is a Peloton crumpling the brains of, like...
They definitely can.
And there's...
I have not followed the money, but somewhere in there, whoever owns Peloton has given some money.
And they're leaking the story to just give them more free pub.
Can you ride the thing offline, or you got to be plugged in?
You got to be plugged in, dude.
You can't just hop on it and start pedaling without the screen turning on or whatever?
You could, feasibly, but like—
What's the point?
Yeah, you wouldn't know what your resistance is or anything.
You'd have to go on feel.
Is he a part of the Bad Boys of Pelly?
It's unknown whether or not he is a part of the hashtag Bad Boys of Pelly.
It started by Micah Weiner, which actually has a much larger following than you would ever expect.
Yeah, apparently some of our old interns follow him there.
Dude, the Bad Boys, I don't know how Micah did this, but bad boys of Pelly is like, it's got steam.
He's a bad boy.
He drives a bad toy.
Ford Fiesta.
There's 165 members of the bad boys of Pelly.
That's pretty good.
Yeah.
Circling back has 265 members.
He's gaining on us.
We have a group.
Yeah.
I created it.
Did not know.
Yep.
You have to.
So there's like a huge wait list to get a peloton right like if i wanted one i would not feasibly be able to get it delivered for like
months no but i got i actually got the inside track on one if you need to use one i don't need
to use one but can i do you have like a way i can get it sooner we've talked about getting one
yes i have someone currently in my life who's trying to sell their Peloton at a lower
price with immediate availability.
Hop on that, Dave.
If you are thinking to yourself as a
listener of this podcast that you're going to DM
me and think that I'm going to set this up, I'm absolutely
not going to do that. This is for friends and family.
I don't feel like being the middleman
here because I don't think I'm going to get a cut. Join me on this
leg journey, David.
I've been on a leg journey. Do you want to feel my calves right now? I can't tell. Do you want to feel my calves
right now? No, I'm good, dude. Dude, feel my calves. Okay, come on. Do you want to feel it? Yeah. Dude, feel it.
Dude, that's a hard-ass calf. Dude, that's a hard-ass calf. Are you serious?
Uh-huh. Damn, I don't feel like that. Uh-huh. I got bitch calves.
Dude, your boy's been grinding on his calf game. That's a serious calf.
Mm-hmm.
Do I know this person?
Yeah.
Okay.
So technically, you just have to put it. I probably texted in a group text at some point with this person.
No.
Oh.
You've met this person numerous times.
Why did this person give up on their peli journey?
Because they're just doing other shit.
Outdoors and stuff.
Okay.
I'm going to try to find Joe Biden on Peloton right now
and see his numbers.
I will say, I put out this tweet last night.
His numbers cannot be good.
No, they're trash.
That man is old and he is brittle.
He's an old, brittle man.
I also like to imagine him only doing like classes
with like hot instructors.
Let's go, Sleepy Joe.
Come on, almost there.
That's my Peloton instructor impression.
The one bit that I wish that I had on Twitter instead of Shido having on Twitter is doing
like Peloton instructor, fake Peloton instructor quotes.
It's good.
It's just a really good bit.
Does he do numbers on there?
I have to think he does.
Yeah, but dude, our man.
Oh, Joe Biden.
There is a Joe Biden on here.
It says USA and he's got 32 followers.
There's no way that's him.
It could be him, dude.
It could be him.
Let me just say, I don't want to live in a world where you can follow the president's Peloton.
He needs to make that private.
I don't want to see his numbers.
If other world leaders go to Peloton and they see his numbers, they're going to be like, wow, the U.S. is way more vulnerable than we ever thought.
He's old, though.
I don't think it's going to take a Peloton to...
To what?
To make them think that. He's significantly older.
Do you think he's doing, like, the hip-hop rides with Alex Toussaint and shit?
I don't know these people.
Yeah, dude.
Dude, if you don't know Alex Toussaint,
then you are not activating your greatness.
We just went over how neither of us have Pelotons.
I can sell you one.
Right.
I have a plug.
Okay.
I don't know if I want one
now that I know it could get hacked.
Oh, gosh.
Can they get to my Bitcoin through it?
Hard to say. This says, the failing New York Times said, Mr. Biden would get to my Bitcoin through it? Hard to say.
This says the failing New York Times said Mr. Biden would not be the first occupant of the White House whose desire for electronics clashes cybersecurity needs of being president.
President Barack Obama insisted on bringing his BlackBerry to the White House,
but later had to use an iPad instead.
Trump had the iPhone.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
DCO having the BlackBerry.
Yeah.
Because of Curve?
Barry had a BlackBerry.
That, honestly, is swag.
It's not.
The red dot?
No, dude, BlackBerrys were the shit.
Did you ever have a BlackBerry?
Dude, in 08, 07, 08?
No, I always passed on them.
When he was president, 08, yeah.
That was cool, man.
Did you BBM with people?
The girl from The Bachelor? When I was moving, oh, wait, yeah, that was cool, man. Did you BBM with people? The girl from The Bachelor?
When I was moving product for Senior Wireless,
we had opportunities to get free BlackBerrys,
and I was like, no, I'm good.
I'll take the Razor instead.
Oh, dude, I had the BlackBerry Pearl.
Oh, that thing was so swag.
You put that thing down on a first date,
you were getting a second date every single time.
It was so clunky.
You were going to see two movies with that girl.
Remember the one that was just,
it was a square, basically?
Yeah, I had that one.
That one's trash.
No.
But when the red dots
started going off,
it was like, yep,
shit's happening right now.
Bay's texting me.
Bay would never text
a Blackberry guy.
Hey, Dylan.
Oh, shit.
Why are you doing that, dude?
I don't think I deserve that.
This is supposed to be
a Posse vibe episode.
Dude, the birds are migrating right now.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Like the ducks do.
For those who can't see, Dave's giving me the finger right now.
It's the pointy finger.
It's a pointy middle finger, though, David.
Right.
So there's no misconceptions about who that middle finger's for.
It's for you.
Yeah.
Not Will.
Not Randy.
We're clear on that.
You know, there are reports out here that Michelle Obama has a modified Peloton,
but her spokesman would not confirm these rumors.
Yeah, so this shouldn't be an issue that we're even talking about.
They've already figured this out.
I don't know.
She got, like, a paint job on her or something?
Like, what do you mean?
She candy painted the Peli?
Exhibit shows up. Is there to pimp your pelly there's a fish tank in your bike seat modified pelly huh i always thought that was cruel when they would show like
from movies from the 70s i had the platform shoes that had like the fish
and little goldfish in it and had like six inches to swim around.
Is this from Boogie Nights or something?
Yes.
I've never seen Boogie Nights.
I've only seen parts.
Do you actually see Wang in it?
He shows his piece at the end, yeah.
Is it big?
It's massive, but it's a prosthetic.
It's not real.
How do you know?
I never read about it.
That's the weird thing is that he's never cranked it.
Yeah, I mean, it's like 14 inches.
And he wakes up at 2.30 a.m., right?
I still can't get over that.
It's the dumbest thing in the world.
He does a Peloton ride, then he lifts, compound lifts only.
Then he does kettlebells after that.
Then he sleeps.
Then he gets back up, makes dinner, then fasts until 2.30 a.m.
It makes no sense to me to go to bed at 7 so you can wake up at 2.
You're missing out on so much.
Go to bed at 10 and wake up at 5.
What's your problem?
You're missing out on prime time.
Prime time.
I'm adding this Joe Biden.
Don't add the fake Joe Biden.
I'm adding the fake Joe Biden.
Why?
Because I want to see.
If he starts putting up shitty numbers, I'm going to expose him.
I want him to go all out.
I'm going to cancel Joe Biden.
I want a photo up from the Oval Office of him and, like, the full Lance Armstrong.
Like, riding that thing.
Can you message people on there?
No, but you can pop into their rides and FaceTime them.
Who wants to do that?
Nobody.
I deny them.
People try?
Do backers try to do that to you?
No, just my buddy.
I shouldn't deny him, actually.
I should probably just let him do it.
The tube socks?
No, it wasn't tube socks.
No one's going to look hot while they're peddling a peli.
They can't take this away.
What if Joe Biden ends up being the president with the most cake?
Dude, have you seen Trump?
No one has more cake than Trump.
Yeah, but his cake is like...
It's gross cake.
He had messy cake.
Yeah, but it's still cake.
That cake's a mess.
But he didn't have the best cake.
Not the best, but the most.
Teddy Roosevelt?
Roosevelt had to have cake.
Teddy Roosevelt.
Is that how you're supposed to say it? It depends on if you teach history. Yeah. No, Taft had to have cake. Teddy Roosevelt. Is that how you're supposed to say it?
It depends on if you teach history.
Yeah.
No, Taft had the most cake.
He's the one who got stuck in the bathtub?
Hard to say.
Because of his cake?
He was 5 feet 11 and a half, kind of like your boy.
And his weight was between 325 and 350.
That is grossly overweight.
He was rotund.
Big boy. Yes, he did. Dave, you're right. He did grossly overweight. Rotund. Big boy.
Yes, he did.
Dave, you're right.
He did have difficulty getting out of the White House bathtub,
so he had a 7-foot-long, 41-inch-wide tub installed.
That's a big tub.
Big boy season.
Big boy season.
I'm looking at pictures of Taft right now, and, like, yeah, he's our thick king.
You hate too much of that Laffy Tafty it's possible
that Laffy Tafty
it's possible oh man
oh yeah he thick
he thick thick no one's thicker than
Trump lower body he's a LBD
lower body disaster you're
right he absolutely is he looks terrible his lower body's's a LBD lower body disaster you're right he absolutely is terrible his lower
body's a liability he looked terrible without a coat covering his bottom half like long you know
suit and shit we're not here to body shame we're just talking about how taft is the guy lost his
job today and you just you're just fat shame he no he he wrong with you guys? No, he was laid off.
Like, you can't just body shame a dude.
You can't kick all these down.
Hey, I'm going to let one of you guys have it because I'm feeling positive today.
Somebody should tweet a picture of him getting in the helicopter and just says,
you're fired.
Wow.
Dude. No one's done that.
Do it.
Don't do it.
No.
Odds you'll do it.
I'm not doing it.
That show was entertaining.
I watched The Apprentice.
I watched a little bit of a season.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
I don't know why that was funny, Randy.
Yeah, Randy's giggling over here.
Randy wore his Purdue game day polo today.
They got a game tonight.
Randy got a new haircut and walked in like he owned the place.
Randy came in seven minutes late today and did not bring breakfast tacos.
He wasn't the guy who and did not bring breakfast tacos. He was definitely, he wasn't
the guy who was late but brought
breakfast tacos. He was the guy
who was just late. I don't like the cut of your jib today, Randy.
Didn't y'all
just gas him up for being punctual?
Like three days ago?
You're seven minutes late, new haircut,
naggy vibes,
didn't bring us food,
jerk. Dylan texted us
the other day. He's like, hey guys, I'm going to be a little late today.
Sorry. Dude shows up at
9.32. Dude, Dylan,
you own the company. You don't have to apologize for being
two minutes late. Dude, your boy's punctual.
I don't like to make people wait for me. When's the last time
we didn't sit here and bullshit for an hour
before we actually recorded? We've never recorded on time.
Ever. It's true. No.
No, never. We used to get to the office
at Grand X at like 6 a.m.
and bullshit until 9
and then record a podcast.
That's part of the whole process, though.
You know?
We come in here,
we get posi vibes rolling
and we just parlay that into a potty.
That's how it goes.
Sometimes I take it out.
Sorry.
I can't hear it.
What is it?
That was ants marching.
It's posi vibes.
Okay.
Are we done talking about Biden on the peli?
You want to go back to the butthole?
No.
No.
I'm still not clear on that story.
The butthole one?
Do you think the dinosaurs had a peloton and their butthole was so in shape that it lasted
throughout thousands of years?
Well, it's not really a muscle.
Is it?
The sphincter is.
The sphincter is a muscle.
But that's not the actual booty hole.
If you want to get technical, like a butthole is actually not anything.
It's just a hole.
Or as Dylan would say, an orifice.
It's an anus.
An oose.
It's an anus.
It's the Latin.
It's a butthole.
This is a gross episode, man.
Do you want to phone Sally right now and she can explain to us?
Why is a-hole so much more biting than booty hole?
No, this is how I think when people on Twitter, when they put a star in a word to bleep it out,
it's more biting to me than when they don't.
Is that so it's not searchable?
Is that why people do it?
Yeah, I think new mail-in host Kayla did it recently
with somebody she was talking shit on,
and it was probably because she didn't want people searching the name
and then just mobbing her.
We've all been there.
A lot of people do that with Chrissy Teigen.
I see that quite a bit.
Teigs.
Beyonce.
I wish I would have done it for Avril Lavigne.
Yeah, you did.
People came after you?
You did allege her death.
I tweeted at Kanye one time and the Free Britney movement came after me.
I didn't even tweet about Britney.
I don't know how that even happened.
More likely to be actually alive, Epstein or Avril Lavigne?
Rhyming coincidental.
Epstein.
Okay.
Epstein.
Epstein.
Were we expecting him to part in Ghislaine?
The G-Lane?
That would have been ugly.
I don't think so.
He does wish her the best of luck, though, in her future endeavors.
I don't.
Let's talk about public rec real quick.
Nice.
S.
I actually pulled these out of the drawer the other day.
Tossed them on.
You know what Sally said?
What pants are those?
They fit you phenomenally.
You should get more of those.
And you said these are public rec.
I was like, you know what, Sally?
These are public rec.
Yeah.
Mine, they're this hunter green color.
Oh, they're clean.
I used to run threes at the public rec down the street.
No, you didn't.
Yeah.
No, you didn't.
Dave, you were there.
You live in West Austin. You don't have a public wreck
out there.
I will say this. It's nice not having
to change. When I'm hanging out at home
playing with Randy, maybe I'm
gaming online with Dylan and friends.
I'm like, dude, I gotta run down to the coffee shop
and get some Joe. I just
leave him on. Yeah. These are sweatpants
that look like just actual pants.
Oh, I've worn them to a fine restaurant before.
Have you worn them to the discotheca?
We didn't make it to the discotheca.
What?
I know.
It was a weird night.
We know what your other leisure wear and sweatpants look like, Dylan,
and public rec is such a massive upgrade from what you normally do.
Okay, I get it.
You'd rather be caught dead than wear your favorite pair of sweats outside the house.
Do you remember the shorts that Dylan would wear to the gym Grand X days?
Yes, they're burnt into my memory.
They've been well documented, David.
We know about them.
No one has had a better glow up than Dylan, and thank you, Public Rec, for making that happen.
Yes, thank you.
These things have no zipper pockets.
A lot of things have no zipper pockets and stuff like that.
No, these things, they keep everything secure on your body.
Everything.
It's amazing.
It's amazing.
Everyone's wardrobes changed a little bit during COVID-19.
All of our standards for comfort have changed.
We're getting more chill, guys.
I'm a fan of how this fashion movement's going.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Comfortable.
Yep, and that's why we're so excited to talk about Public Rec.
They make leisure wear in the waist and inseam sizes because comfort starts with a better fit.
My favorite pants are their best-selling all-day, everyday sweatpants.
Those are the ones that Sally said I needed more of.
She didn't even realize they were sweatpants.
Common misconception.
Yep, because they're a more stylish alternative to sweatpants
and a more comfortable alternative to jeans.
Very breathable, too.
I don't even like wearing jeans at this point.
If I can wear these pants that look like actual pants and they're not, why would I wear jeans?
I get pretty bummed when I work out and they're in the dirty clothes.
And I go to get them after I shower and put them on and they're like, oh, I can't.
They're in the dirty clothes.
What a bummer.
I've got to put something else on.
It's not fun.
Dirty clothes.
Yeah.
You know I hate those dirty clothes.
It must be dirt.
Dirty pap.
These are great for lounging at home, looking sharp at work, heading to the bar, and everywhere in between.
The all-day, every-day pant comes in waist and inseam sizing, so they fit short guys, tall guys, and everyone in between.
And they're made from breathable, stretchy, moisture-wicking fabric.
You can wear them all day, every day, and they look brand new.
They also have zipper pockets, like I said earlier, so no more having your phone fall out when you sit. These phones are just
getting bigger, heavier, clunkier.
It's big boy season. Gotta get those
zipper pockets.
Damn right.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Zip. Now you can get your
whole wardrobe from Public Rec as well. They've got
incredibly comfortable shorts, t-shirts, Henleys,
polos, hoodies, jackets, even golf gear.
We're golf boys. What? Well, Dylan used
to be retired because he stinks.
You do suck at golf, man.
I don't think you can take a Schrazer in an Ad Reap.
Oh, geez, Louise.
Public Rec rarely discounts, but right now they have an exclusive offer just for circling
back listeners.
Go to publicrec.com slash circling and use promo code circling to get 10% off.
That's publicrec, R-E-C, and use our promo code circling for 10% off.
Now let's get to the story that everybody tuned in for.
Question, why are Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina candles always,
like every couple months I feel like they're on the news again.
I'm tired of hearing about these vagina candles.
Dude, it's the most viral candle to ever grace the scented candle world.
What's your favorite Gwyneth Paltrow movie?
Mine's Royal Tenenbaums.
That's not a bad call, but just...
Because she was likable in it.
I think that's probably her best performance for my money.
She made smoking cigs look real hot.
You like shallow how-to, don't you?
But my favorite actual Gwyneth Paltrow movie is The Talented Mr. Ripley.
Her part in there was big, but I don't feel like she got to
flex as much as she wanted to. Iron Man.
Iron Man.
I need to pull up her IMDb
because I need to know what we're doing here. She's not the star,
but it's a great movie. Wasn't she in one of
those Queen movies? Not the Queen movie,
but like... Yeah, she was. She was like
Queen Elizabeth or Marie Antoinette or something.
I don't know, David.
Something from that time period, which I know is a lot.
Have you ever seen A Perfect Murder?
Michael Douglas.
I haven't.
I don't want to say it's a good movie, but it's an entertaining as hell movie.
Highly recommend watching it.
Michael Douglas still alive?
Yes.
You know he had a scare with?
Colon cancer?
No, his throat.
Throat cancer. Oh, he was eating too much. He cancer? No, his throat. Throat cancer.
Oh, he was eating too much.
He was eating too much of it.
He was getting in that dinosaur booty.
He wasn't eating dinosaur booty.
I don't mean to make light.
I think he's okay.
Do you know she was in Hook?
Everybody knows that.
Why didn't I realize that?
I haven't seen Hook in forever.
Yeah, she's Rufio.
I would love to see a remake of her just as Rufio.
Isn't he like a cool-ass skater
now? Probably. I remember there was a video
15 years later and it was just him at the skate park.
You could tell me the Lost Boys were all pro
skaters and I would have been psyched.
They put out that vibe. Michael Douglas alive
and well. If they had skateboards during
the time of Peter Pan, the Lost Boys definitely would
have been shredding. They would have had a skate park for sure.
Absolutely. Well, dude, the Lost Boys,
they had one, basically.
They had a zip line, but they had the vert
ramp. I still
don't understand how the alligator clock
ate Hook in that movie. Did it
fall down? It's a clock.
I don't recall.
If Big Ben falls down, it's going to kill me,
but it's not going to eat me.
It might throw a pick six on you.
Come on, dude.
Dude, don't talk about that.
He was at my wedding, dog.
It's true.
Did you all see him at my wedding at all?
He wasn't at your wedding.
He was on the premises.
He was at the pool.
He was at the pool the entire time I was at the pool.
I didn't see him.
He left the hotel to go do an interview or something,
or some kind of practice in Pittsburgh.
And then two days later, he was back at the hotel.
I was like, dude, do you live here?
I think he does.
I would have tossed him a ball and ran a slant go or something,
see if he could hit me.
I had all the resumes to talk to him and get away with it.
I could have pulled the wedding card. I could have
pulled the Miami Redhawk card and I didn't pull either of
them and I let him have his time alone. David, I'm
a sick route runner. Everybody knows that.
No, that's not really your...
You throw it up to you and you go up and get it. You're kind of like
Dez. You don't run good routes.
I heard you give up on your routes. Oh, get
out of it. I've heard numerous cornerbacks
say that they know when you're getting thrown to because
that's the only time you actually put effort into it.
You're the dejected receiver on the other side of the field
that doesn't even get a look through the progression.
You're just looking down.
You stop halfway through.
You don't even try to block downfield.
You're so crazy.
There's a pick six going the other way, and you give like a real,
oh, darn, I didn't get him.
I couldn't catch him.
Head of the sideline.
You put out major run-out-of-bounds vibes instead of get hit.
Dude, stop.
I was actually pretty good, man.
Four-clock awareness.
I was pretty damn good.
Like you're up six with the ball,
and you just run out of bounds,
stop the clock,
and everybody's like,
dude, what are you doing?
Stay in bounds.
Nah.
We pretty much outlined every possible scenario.
So yeah, in closing,
Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina-sensitive candle
brought havoc on the life of a British woman when her little bit of mood lighting turned into a roaring blaze.
It was mental.
Yeah, Jodie Thompson at Kilbourne, North London, told The Sun that she won the anatomically inspired HomeGood, an online quiz, but got more than she bargained for when she went to light it.
Quote, the candle exploded and emitted huge flames with bits flying everywhere.
Damn.
She said, I've never seen anything like it. The whole thing
was ablaze and it was too hot to touch. There was
an inferno in the room.
That's a bomb-ass candle.
What does the branding of this candle look like?
Does it say vagina on it? Something about an orgasm?
It looks like a flashlight.
Let's be real for a second.
I don't know, Dylan. Will might own one.
Someone knows the answer to this, that people buy these
fucking things. Are you guys ready
for what I'm about to say?
Yeah.
I no longer own it, but I have owned one of these candles.
Really?
Yeah.
What does it say on it?
The candle itself just straight up says, it just says on the label, it says, this candle
smells like my vagina.
Really?
Yeah.
Really?
Yes.
No, what are you doing on your laptop?
What's your thing?
Because, okay, I don't hate that I know this, but I definitely know more about this than I need to.
When they were first smelling candles, like the samples, apparently a candle came across their noses.
Very vagina-like.
Yeah, and apparently she said, oh, this smells like a vagina.
And then I think they all started laughing and they thought, actually, that could probably be a pretty good sales gimmick.
So let's just call this one, this smells like my vagina.
So they just knew that this would be picked up by every dumbass publication in America, and they would get tons of free pub out of it.
And so they printed vagina on the candle.
Correct.
And then after that, they came out with another one that I also bought for Sunday
Scaries purposes.
Does it smell like my dinosaur's b-hole?
What does it say?
It says, this smells like my orgasm.
Okay.
Orgasms, to my knowledge, don't smell.
Ooh, really?
Yours don't?
You might want to get tested.
You might have COVID.
What does your orgasm smell like, David?
I don't discuss that publicly.
Yeah, why would you ask him that?
That's really inappropriate.
Oh my God.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. That's really inappropriate god I'm sorry I'm sorry that's really inappropriate I'm sorry I can I can say that if Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina smells like that candle then I get Chris Martin wanting to be good yeah
wanting to be a part of it what is he, fucking Prince Charles writing a letter to?
I would like to be a part of your vagina.
I think he said something way worse.
Yes.
He wanted to be a specific.
Prince Charles is a fucking weirdo.
He wrote something really weird.
He said he.
To who?
To Camilla.
He was having a sultry affair. said i want to i can't even say
what did he say say it he said something along the lines of i want to be or
um maybe another word for feminine napkin
okay tampon
that's disgusting.
Maybe that was just an SNL sketch back in the 90s,
but there's something there.
He's a weird dude.
He's a weird dude.
And he likes writing letters a lot,
especially to Camilla.
And one of his family members
is a known associate of Epstein, so.
Yes.
He also doesn't sweat.
Facts.
Who?
Charles?
No, the other one.
Andrew?
Is that his name?
I feel like there's benefits to not being a sweat guy, like having zero sweat,
but I feel like at the end of your life, it wears on you, not sweating.
Like it's just all still in there.
You think the sweat is always just sitting in there?
Yeah.
Is this like Donald Trump's idea that—
The battery.
Yeah.
Finite amount of energy.
I weirdly don't hate that take.
It makes sense.
It's a dumb take.
I like the take.
It's not.
I like the take.
Your body is a battery.
You got to save the energy.
Your body is a battery.
That was good.
The question I have for...
Yeah, no one has run out yet,
so go figure.
The question I have for Jodie Thompson is,
did she...
No one's run out?
Of energy?
People die every day.
Yeah, literally.
Hundreds of billions have died.
It's not...
Okay, no.
Anyway.
What were you about to say?
Do we think Jody Thompson trimmed her wick before she lit this thing?
People are wondering.
I'm not trying to side with Gwyneth Paltrow here.
But all I'm saying is, if she didn't trim her wick, then we have a major issue here. I'm thinking some to side with Gwyneth Paltrow here. But all I'm saying is if she didn't trim her wick,
then we have a major issue here.
I'm thinking some of the onus is on Jody.
Them boys in Kilbourne, England rolled their wicks all wrong.
They do.
Too damn skinny.
Kilbourne.
North London.
Yeah, I think that's not an accident.
Craig Kilbourne.
Is he Scottish?
Doesn't matter.
No one even knows who that is.
I don't know.
Oh, he's Scottish.
Jody's probably like an Arsenal or Tottenham fan,
so I don't really care if this thing exploded in her apartment.
Just figure it out.
You didn't die.
You didn't get burned.
Just figure it out.
Is she suing?
What is the deal?
I don't know.
Yeah, is she just doing this?
Is she just trying to get more candles?
Because if so, I might just start
exploding my nice candles
and then just complaining about it. Send her the
Sunday Scaries candle.
Those don't explode, David.
Instead of
a wick, it's like
the M80
fuse. M80's in there.
Maybe that's what happened.
Do you think someone was trying to get to her?
That's probably how they tried to assassinate Castro.
They sent him a vagina-scented candle
and it just had like some blackheads in it.
I think that's how they kill a lot of people.
Are scented candles new anthrax?
Still don't know who did that.
Dylan, I got you a scented candle.
It's in my car.
Candles are so expensive, man.
Mm-hmm.
That's why I like them.
That was the end of what I had to say.
I usually get mine at Bed Bath & Body Works.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Is that a new store that I'm unaware of?
That's where I get my candles.
I just get Sunday Scaries candles.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
They don't explode.
They don't smell like vagina.
They have yet to explode.
Dude, that should be your new pre-workout, exploding vagina candle.
And no exploding vagina.
Dude, that zombie blood hits, man.
Should I just release a candle through Sunday Scaries called this candle smells like an explosion?
Or it just won't explode? I need to get on goop's radar in some like some capacity you're probably already on it you're the you're the most goop friendly member of this pod no i'm not friendly
i mean i kind of cyber bully them you're not but you're you're friend you're bubble goop
yeah like if if wash media went under and goop offered me like a really stupid job i would 100
take it social media media, copywriter.
They would fire me within two days.
They'd be like, why are you only posting Frasier gifs?
Why did you go live from Perlos?
Why are you going to Crawfish Boils every weekend and just getting fucked up on Sundays?
There was a stretch there.
I'm glad that stretch is over.
I can't do that anymore.
Actually, speaking of getting fucked up on Sunday,
should we do this weekend in font presented by Roebuck?
Oh, yeah.
Do we even need to advertise for Roebuck at this point?
Big day for Roebuck.
We've got fucking presidents wearing their shit now.
I'm afraid they're going to drop us as a client.
They should.
Yeah.
We're small peanuts.
I'm not running for president anytime soon.
You're old enough.
Didn't you run for president
unsuccessfully?
No. Who is your
running mate?
Parks? This is going to be an
Oklesadente thing or something that we're doing.
What is that? Oscar Mayer?
Shivery Mayer?
Steve Bunnin? Oh, shit.
Is that a wick?
What are you doing?
There's like a mark on the table.
Why are your hands bleeding black right now?
No, I wiped it, and that's what happened, and it stuck on my finger.
You wiped it?
I don't know what the hell it is.
You got any whaps?
You guys got any whaps?
What the hell just happened here?
Stella 20 will get you 20% off of rollback.
You're literally the only person who sits there, so this is on you to clean up.
Just saying.
Dave, can you tell the people what I wore on the golf course on Friday?
I believe it was Roback.
I wore the Roback vest again.
I believe Dave and I both have Roback on right now, folks.
Randy had on his Roback hoodie yesterday.
The hoodies are dope.
Yes.
I love them.
I would like one.
You don't have one?
Randy has mine.
Oh.
Interesting.
Wow, new haircut, new wardrobe, new schedule apparently.
Randy comes in at 9.37 every single day.
Everything's coming up Randy right now.
Who just walked in?
UPS.
Hell yeah.
We got a package.
Either way, go to Roback.com.
You sell it 20% off your first order.
Go check it out. We love a package. Either way, go to Roback.com. You sell it 20% off your first order. Go check it out.
We love this stuff.
I pretty much wear something Roback every day at this point.
Absolutely.
Their workout shirts have become my favorite workout shirts.
It's a great workout shirt.
It's the softest workout shirt to wipe your face with mid-workout.
The navy blue one is my personal favorite.
I don't know why.
I just look good.
It makes my eyes pop.
Let me say this.
I have a royal blue one that's beautiful. As a guy with nipples who tend to protrude and show through some of the lighter material shirts.
Here we go.
I wore a, I won't say the brand, but it rhymes with Shuloo Lemon.
Very nipply.
Very nipply.
Too nipply.
I felt uncomfortable.
Too nipply.
But Roback, they don't do that.
They're dope.
They cover those nips up.
They're very comfortable.
Maybe you should work your nipples out more.
Have you ever thought of removing your nipples?
Yes.
Or just taping them down.
Or wearing like the little, Pacey, what do you call them?
Pacey?
Pasties.
Pasties?
I might just Pacey you.
Pacey is from Dawson's Creek.
Anyway, for the nipple boys out there,
Roback is a very good option for you.
I don't want to wait for the lunch to be over.
Dawson's Creek is on Netflix now.
Let's do a rewatch.
I don't need to.
I can tell you every episode.
What if Dylan didn't turn every ad read into a thirst trap for him?
I need to do like the...
Hey, think about my nipples.
Yeah, Dylan pimps out the ad read.
He's like, dude, my fucking pecs are so big
that my nipples are just
constantly protruding
my muscles are bulging
the only
oh
the only shirts that help
I'm doing the emoji
the cover of the nips
remember
that's not what it is
I don't see it is dude
did y'all see the three
the three new emojis
one of them's this
people don't
this is an audio thing Dave
people don't know what you're doing
describe what I'm doing to the folks at home he's pointing his middle finger at me again across the table I don't This is an audio thing Dave People don't know what you're doing Describe what I'm doing
To the folks at home
He's pointing his middle finger
At me again across the table
I don't like it
That's for you
I don't deserve it
Well
You should do a candle
Dylan's exploding nipples
Or no this candle
Smells like Dylan's nipples
Yeah
What do your nipples smell like?
I can hit up
I can hit up VelaBox
And see if they can do some
I haven't really smelled them Probably just like skin Cool I would love to make a Senate candle Yeah. What do your nipples smell like? I can hit up VelaBox and see if they can do some...
I haven't really smelled them.
Probably just like skin.
Cool.
I would love to make a scented candle that's just based around skin.
Not creepy at all.
Dinosaur nipples.
Dinosaur balls.
This candle smells like dinosaur b-holes.
Dinosaur butthole on a candle is kind of funny.
It's not.
If it smells good and people are like, what is it's like dinosaur butthole is like the
name of a weed strain you know let's go get some of that dinosaur butthole man that shit was good
oh dude that shit is that indica or sativa oh um so we got a new we've got a new optimized backer
i reached out to him and i convinced him and i there was one request he had for me and it was
for me to tell you that the
shacket thing just stinks,
baby.
Uh,
I think we should lose him as a,
as a patron.
No,
well,
we've got him for at least a month.
We canceled us up.
We got the month.
Well,
um,
everyone in the world disagrees with you.
So there's that.
Didn't you say this weekend that you just wanted to clap it in the shacket?
What'd you mean by that? What are you doing this weekend that you just wanted to clap it in the shacket? What do you mean by that?
What are you doing this weekend?
That would be fun, but no.
You're addicted to shack.
This weekend.
Thank you for asking, Will.
Return of the shack.
Given that we're still in a pandemic and numbers are surging.
A worldwide one.
Yeah, it is worldwide.
A lot of people don't know that.
It's also nationwide.
People don't know that.
What about the people in London who claim that they didn't know about it?
Those guys, man.
I love that.
I love that defense.
I kind of wish we would have talked about that story.
Dude, that's one.
The first thing they teach you in law school is that ignorance is a defense to any kind of crime.
Yeah.
These people in London threw a giant-ass party, and then their defense to the police was like,
wait, there's a pandemic going on?
What?
We didn't know.
We didn't know about that.
I love playing stupid
for the pandemic.
Prove that I knew about it.
Prove it.
What?
I have nothing on the books.
Absolutely nothing on the books,
which is,
it's going to be fun.
I enjoy those weekends,
but I would like to do
something eventually.
You know?
I would like to do
something eventually.
Step out, get a beer, maybe a pizza, maybe a dinner.
Hit the club, hit the discotheque, something.
I don't know.
Beers?
I want to mob.
Like numerous beers?
It'll have to wait until February.
Lunch beers.
Yeah.
Or those.
Whatever.
Just, you know.
I have nothing.
We need to have a Thursday where we just go down to...
I guess they're probably not even doing it.
The place down the street, Hat Creek, they do like a Thursday beer thing.
Frat Creek?
Yeah, Frat Creek.
We need to just go down there and just have like a Thursday get away from us.
I think it's like $2 beers on Thursday.
Turkey Burgs for the boys.
A little sauerkraut on it.
Turkey Burgs and beers, man.
Next thing you know, you're two beers deep.
You're like calling an Uber.
Your wife's got to drive you back the next day to get your car.
You just tank the rest of the day.
Yeah.
Love that.
Nothing better than having the significant other drop you off at the course
to get your car from the table.
That's a late 20s guy move.
Hopefully you guys have a more excited weekend than me because I'm doing nothing.
Oh, yeah, I do.
Well, you're invited.
Connor Dustin Poirier, Saturday night.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Pour that ass out.
Are you buying it?
I'll see about it.
I'll see you there.
Company's buying it.
I'll see you there.
Company's buying it because I'm going to talk about it on Too Much Dip,
so I'm expensing it.
Hope you're cool with that.
I didn't see that. Will's going to be there, too. I didn't pass through my desk. Will's going to talk about it on Too Much Dip, so I'm expensing it. Hope you're cool with that. I didn't see that.
Well, Will's going to be there, too.
I didn't pass through my desk.
Will's going to be there and Micah.
I'm not on Too Much Dip, though.
No, we're going to have you on for this one.
Perfect.
But that's about it.
I might try to play golf Friday.
I need to see Friday.
Like, the weather the next five days, it doesn't look great,
but Friday looks okay.
Let me know.
Let me know.
I've only got so many rounds before the kid.
I know.
And to be honest, I'm trying to get in those rounds with you just because I know that you're very limited right now.
Yeah.
I have a finite number of rounds left because of my back.
You've got the Trump strategy, so I'm not going to waste it playing with you.
You should have done what I did.
I have so many rounds left in me because I have so much battery left.
Huh.
You've been charging it?
Mm-hmm.
We didn't even talk about
the cat having
a pinched nerve in his back
missing the next couple tournaments.
I don't want to talk
about this stuff, man.
I know.
Positive vibes only, my bad.
Yeah, positive vibes only.
Positive vibes, man.
That's pretty much it, Will.
Well,
I got bad news for you guys.
I got really nothing.
As you guys know, Sally and I recently signed a new lease that we're moving into in March.
Our current apartment is an absolute war zone with just shit in it.
Not actual shit, but just a lot of stuff.
So we're going to start the process of trying to get rid of some of that stuff,
maybe mapping out some new furniture that we have to buy for this place.
It's just going to be a real beating.
If there's one thing I hate, it's moving.
Hey, can you guys help me move?
Dude, I'm busy that day, man.
Crap, man.
I'm a kid.
I didn't give you a day yet, but cool.
No, dude.
Yeah, my phone's not working either.
Cool.
Yeah, I have actually a week to move in between when my lease starts and when my other lease ends.
Oh, that's a little stress.
Good for you.
Yeah, but I could use an extra hand.
I'm going to help hang your TV.
TVs.
You're helping me hang three different TVs, just FYI.
I did that for Veronica one time.
Really?
Yeah.
Veronica didn't know how to hang a TV?
Mm-mm.
Who would have thought?
I thought you hung one for Will last weekend.
No.
Oh.
No, my new TV ain't come in yet.
David.
I don't even know. What were you tweeting?
You texted about it.
No, I just texted about it
because I asked Dylan
because I just don't even
want to like think about it.
If Dylan already,
Dylan's literally
the cockiest person
of all time
when it comes to hanging TVs
and so I'm just going
to give him that.
Like you kind of need a dub
and so I'm going
to give you the TV.
I'm going to let you
hang the TVs
in my new place.
I can't wait.
It's going to be a fun little project.
God.
Maybe crack some beers?
With the boys?
I had a new beer last night that I never had before.
What is it?
It was a Murphy's Irish Stout, which I will say it pretty much tastes like a Guinness,
but maybe a little more like cream.
Ah, Murphy's.
Murphy's.
Yeah, that's a really good accent.
Everyone thinks you're Irish. I think our water's here. Irish, you wouldn't do that. Nope, Murphy's. Murphy's. Yeah, that's a really good accent. Everyone thinks you're Irish.
I think our water's here.
Irish, you wouldn't do that.
Nope, something else.
What is that?
Definitely not the water
because they left the water
outside last week
and we had to carry it all.
Oh, we got a desk?
Ooh, we got a desk.
I didn't know we bought a desk.
Man, I want to call
Brett in here right now
to do breath-breaking news,
but he's kind of dealing
with the delivery person.
When did we buy a desk?
Like two days ago.
Your boy copped a new desk.
We talked about this, Dylan.
It's not a nice one.
Hey Brett!
It's time!
God, we got the bullet in here.
The mail-in's own bullet.
Oh, there he is.
Wow. We got Brett in the building.
We got some breaking news.
Hey, guys.
How's it going, Brett?
It's good.
How are you?
Digging your color vibe today.
Thank you.
It's very Will DeFreeze with the green.
Yeah, really.
Really nice green.
Yeah, you look okay.
Forest green sweater.
You should have sprayed it down with water and evened it out a little bit.
Yeah.
Not iron.
I ran out of my, I have the Downey Spritz and whatever.
You know water works just the same.
No.
I don't want to get water on my stuff.
Tricks of the trade.
Anyway.
Wow, dude.
What's your dumb ass news about?
I don't even want to tell you.
Hey, Will.
Yeah.
Do you want to go NFL QBs, Austin Architecture?
Yeah, yeah.
Or steak?
I'm going to go steak.
Steak. I'm going to go steak. Steak.
I'm going to go steak.
You ever heard of the perfect steak?
Dad, Dylan's always talking about it.
I made one the other night.
Oh, nice.
Well, anyway, researchers from McMaster University said they created the perfect steak.
And it's lab grown. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, so you can, to the percentage, be like, I want like 3% fat or 20% fat.
What?
And it's lab-grown.
Dude, no, that takes the fun out of the steak.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, every steak has its own adventure.
Yeah.
I don't know if I want this.
Their technique has now worked with rabbit cells, mice cells, and they are now moving on to beef, chicken, and pork.
Good.
The first thing the world needed is more mice running around.
It's not clones.
It's clowns.
It's just meat.
Clowns.
It's just meat.
Cool.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm going to go back to what I said.
The last thing the world needs is just a bunch of mice meat.
You know, just because we can't do stuff doesn't mean we should, you know?
They say it's for the environment.
Can you do like a tube steak?
David.
It's not tube steak.
And a test tube?
Yeah, when you said you could tune the steak, did you mean to say tube?
You can just tune it.
My tube.
My tubes.
I want a medium rare like 2080s situation.
And they'll be like, yeah, I'll marble that for you in the back.
How long does that take?
Probably hours. Come back the next day.
You have to put in your steak order? I would actually love that. If you could put your orders in before at a restaurant and then go sit down at the restaurant and have them spread it out
over two hours, that would be really convenient. Like in Chicago, we've got deep dish pizza. They're like, yeah, it's going to
take four hours to make your dumbass pizza. How do you want it?
Your pizza is not even that good, you mean?
Yeah, what's taking so long, Lou?
That pizza stunk, I'll say it.
That was the worst night's sleep of my life.
I've never had worse heartburn.
That was the worst.
Not the worst pizza.
It wasn't good.
Lou Malnati's right now?
Oh, boy.
Lou Malnati's is not good.
It's just not good.
I'm sorry.
It was fine.
I'm going to duck after this episode.
It wasn't fine.
I think a lot of true think true Chicagoans Will be like
Oh yeah
You gotta go here
It's a 4 out of 10
Lou Malnati's is good
If you like
Pizza that
Is shaped like lasagna
And lacks flavor
I call it
Well pizza
Wow dude
More like Lou Malnati
Or naughty
Jeez
Move in silence David
It will
Doesn't mal
M-A-L, mean bad in Spanish?
Yes.
Bad is naughty.
I have to correct Will on poor Mako, the sushi place.
Oh, here we go.
R.I.P. Mako.
It's still open.
But it's literally being bulldozed for a skyscraper.
That is very true.
You've been saying this for over a year now. I know. What is that happening?
I don't know. They're doing it, though.
Excuse me while I scrape
the sky.
With that out of the way,
Austin now has plans
for the tallest skyscraper
in Texas.
What's the current tallest skyscraper in Texas?
Is it in Dallas? It's in Texas. What's the current tallest skyscraper in Texas? Is it in Dallas or Houston?
It's in Texas, John Marcus.
Yeah?
It's actually oil mons in Lubbock.
The J.P. Morgan Chase Tower in Houston is 1,002 feet tall,
the current tallest building.
How tall is this one going to be?
1,024.
How do you not go 1,003?
Man.
Come on.
My boy got married at the Petroleum Club up there.
It looks dope.
It's at the corner of Cesar Chavez and Red River, kind of by the Kempton, the Van Zandt.
That's the thing about skyscrapers, Dylan.
They scrape the sky.
I get it, David.
Excuse me while I scrape the sky.
Dave already did that one.
It's a good song, though. Excuse me while I kiss this guy. Dave already did that one. It's a good song, though.
Excuse me while I kiss this guy.
That always sounded like that.
This song's going to be stuck in my head the rest of the day because of David Carter Ruff.
Add DC Ruff on Instagram, add D. Carter Ruff on Twitter, and Snap.
Add me on the group.
No one's following your dumb ass, dude.
A lot of people, actually.
Not as many as you.
I'll give you that.
But then again, you were like day one internet guy.
He's also actively bleeding followers.
Facts.
Facts.
Oh, man.
Hey, Dave.
Hey.
You know Phillip Rivers?
Retiring.
Hung him up.
Hung him up.
Got him.
17 years.
I just scooped you.
16 with the Chargers, one with the Colts.
I mean, it was time.
Never won the big one.
Nope.
Never really got close.
Why would you not just retire in Southern California
instead of just moving to Indianapolis first?
Made the playoffs, had a playoff team, give it one last run.
You see JJ Watts' tweet?
I doubt he moved his whole family there for the season.
I mean, like, bought and set up shop there.
They probably had a nice condo.
Yeah, he's got like 50 kids.
Right.
I'm just saying.
I bet his home base is still in California.
Okay.
Rumor on the street is that he's moving to Alabama to coach football.
Okay.
High school football.
For Saban?
No.
Just high school.
He's just going to be one of Saban's analysts.
High profile annies.
Yeah. Good for him. Congrats to Phil Rivers. Did you see J.J of Saban's analysts, high-profile annies. Yeah.
Good for him.
Congrats to Phil Rivers.
Did you see J.J. Watts' tweet about it?
It's a fun retirement job.
I did.
I was pretty good.
It was pretty good.
I thought that was a nice one.
J.J. Watts, mostly good on Twitter.
He said, I'll never forget lining up for a play and Phil pointing out one of our linebackers
and telling him that he was lined up wrong based off the blitz we were about to run
and being 100% correct about it.
That is such a flex, being like, nope, out of position.
That's awesome.
What are you doing?
It's great.
That's such a flex on the defense.
How rattled was that linebacker?
He got off the field and was like, fuck.
He knows your defense better than you do.
It's probably McKinney.
That dude was never any good.
Damn.
It was Cushing. Mississippi State kid. It's probably McKinney. That dude was never any good. Damn.
It was Cushing.
Mississippi State kid.
It had to have been Cushing.
I feel like he just did what he wanted, though.
Cushing?
He knew he wasn't lined up right.
He's just like, yeah, fuck.
Yeah, I don't think Cushing
is a fuck.
He's just bleeding from the head.
Or like the nose.
The nose.
Which is the head.
Kinda.
Yes, technically.
How are your ears, Dylan?
Dude, get that checked out.
I think it's on the mend.
It's doing a little bit better.
It's still leaking like crazy.
It doesn't sound like it's getting better.
Yeah.
Are you worried it's your brain actually leaking out?
Yeah, a lot of people were worried about that.
It's old.
This has been a known story for a minute.
People are suddenly sending it to me. Yeah, I were worried about that. The article is old. This has been a known story for a minute. People are suddenly sending it to me.
Yeah, I've heard about it.
Will you just go to the doctor?
Doctor, doctor.
Let Sally take a look, dude.
She has that iPhone attachment.
It's crazy.
All right, y'all.
She was scraping wax out of my ears just like two weeks ago.
I would love for her to take a look inside my head, my ear.
Okay.
In your hair.
In your hair. In your hair.
Zombie.
Everything's coming back to the cranberries.
Leakage.
Did we try my zombie blood?
No.
How does it taste?
I don't want that shit.
It tastes like zombies' blood.
I'm a beat elite guy.
Do zombies have blood?
Beat elite.
Great point.
They did. Total war.
They're freaking out right now. They're scrambling.
What happened?
Small to mid-sized podcast figured out that zombies don't have blood.
Their battery
ran out and then they got recharged.
I know at least a couple of people have
bought it because of me.
It's a finite amount of energy.
Zombie blood.
Is it time?
Yeah.
This thing is running its course.
Way to go, Brett.
I don't know what to say.
That just went off the rails.
All right.
We'll see you guys on Friday.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye. you