Circling Back - Posi Vibes Only

Episode Date: January 20, 2021

We're only doing positive vibes today, people. Scientists found a perfectly preserved dinosaur butthole, Joe Biden's Peloton is a national security risk, Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina candles are exploding... in London, This Weekend in Fun, and Brett's Breaking News. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (18:54) The Dinosaur Butthole (28:31) Joe Biden's Peloton (45:51) Gwyneth Paltrow’s Exploding Vagina Candle (56:52) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Headspace: www.headspace.com/circling (free one-month trial) Public Rec: www.publicrec.com/circling (10% off) Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (STELLA20 for 20% off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge my name's will defries to my right david ruff do you want to announce the uh the special at Wilmonds, the Hail to the Chief special going today? Yeah, we actually have some special performers playing at Wilmonds, which is pretty good for tonight. El Chief and Dodgers. Yeah, Kodak's going to be there. Lil Wayne's going to be there. Joe Exotic could not make it, unfortunately. His limo's going to be there, though.
Starting point is 00:00:43 Did his limo have a... Did the back of the limo... Was that a truck bed? Or was that kind of like... Yeah, it was a Dodge Ram. It was like a patio out back. It looked like a cage for big predatory cats. It made me wonder if you could be in the limo
Starting point is 00:00:59 and then walk to the back of the limo and just be on the patio just hanging out, kind of mobbing, you know? It seems dangerous. I don't think Joe Exotic's really worried about danger, dude. He literally made his nut on big cats. I don't want to give that airtime. Dude, the whole thing is just a stunt by truck month.
Starting point is 00:01:15 Fair. Do you think big truck is infiltrating the mainstream media? Well, I mean, I think if you really look at it and follow the money, yeah. Y'all don't want to talk about that, though. It's very true. Dylan. Oh, man. They just sent that limo in case he was pardoned?
Starting point is 00:01:38 They said a 100% chance. His legal team said that there was a 100% chance he was getting pardoned. And he's just still sitting there in the clink like, man. I don't think Joe Exotic should get pardoned. Like, I don't think that, but I wanted him to get pardoned. Because I wanted to see the footage from the limo. That would have been the greatest footage of all time. Wait, what was the charge?
Starting point is 00:01:56 Like, murder for hire or some shit like that? Like, something pretty serious? Right? Yeah, he tried to have that bitch Carol Baskin killed. He shouldn't get parted. Yeah, I'm not positive Joe Exotic, like, you belong in jail. Twitter had the bit that, like, no, he needs to get parted. Like, I don't really think he needs to get parted.
Starting point is 00:02:12 He's probably exactly where he should be. There were some good Carol Baskin tweets out there yesterday. That bitch. Did you guys watch Tiger King? Are we talking about that today? Didn't the second part just come out on HBO? I haven't watched it yet, unfortunately. Yeah, okay, we need to watch it and talk about it.
Starting point is 00:02:33 Yeah. Yas. Yas. Yas, queen. Dude, I was just sitting around all day yesterday just thinking about how much I stand Victoria on The Bachelor. Stop. You're just getting under my skin now.
Starting point is 00:02:47 You can bet on the next Bachelor and Bachelorette, and she's up there. No, my bookie just took her off the table. The odds were too favorable. Wow. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Something tells me y'all are bullshitting she might be hosting
Starting point is 00:03:05 actually she's replacing Chris Harrison it'll go from respect the throne it'll go from the most popular show on television
Starting point is 00:03:13 to the least because she is ch-ch-ch-trash Victoria Queen better greater than Freddie Mercury Queen I'll say it
Starting point is 00:03:22 David what are you doing yeah first of all did you see the movie wasn't that good first of all Queen is an excellent Mercury Queen. I'll say it. David, what are you doing? First of all, did you see the movie? First of all, Queen is an excellent, excellent band. I will not stand for the... They got a few good ones. I respect Queen and I respect their catalog, but I will never put on Queen just driving.
Starting point is 00:03:38 Oh, I will. That movie sucked. I disagree with that take. I actually enjoyed it. Elton John movie was much better. Yes, I'm comparing them because they're both musical you know why i like you know why i like one is an actual musical however i watched it on a plane and it's very rare for me to watch a movie on a plane and not enjoy it which movie did you watch on a plane the queen one oh what was it called bohemian rhapsody i didn't okay here's my take i don't
Starting point is 00:04:03 know at will mons we call it bohemian rhapsody i didn't't... Okay, here's my take. I don't know. At Wilma's, we call it Bohemian Rhapsody. I didn't love the movie, but it gave me a much greater appreciation for the band and for their music. I have the utmost respect for Freddie Mercury's body of work. I found myself enjoying their music more after watching the movie. That makes sense.
Starting point is 00:04:18 That makes sense. That's all it was. It's like they just hit play on their 10 best songs. Yeah, and now that's what's tied about it. You could have just listened to their greatest hits. It gives you the story, David. Come on. Oh, yeah, the real story.
Starting point is 00:04:30 In my opinion, the Queen movie was much better than the Elton John movie. The Elton John movie trended too musically for me. Yeah, it wasn't awesome. And I stan Elton John. I actually listened to a bunch of Elton John last night at the crib. Just vibing? I was, man. No phones?
Starting point is 00:04:46 I love EJ. Everybody knows that. Like, what do you do? You're just, like, sitting on your couch? You don't have to lie to sound like you're really into music. Mona Lisa's in Mad Hatter's, just chilling. I was in the kitchen, like, cleaning and making my dinner and just vibing. You can just say you put on Tiny Dancer on loop.
Starting point is 00:05:04 It was Posse vibes only in my kitchen last night. So y'all would not have been allowed. Do you have a sign that says positive vibes only in your kitchen? It says posi vibes. Posvi? Did you get it from Waco? I don't get that. Have you read the scripture?
Starting point is 00:05:22 It's me, David Koresh. Is this a Branch Davidian thing? You're in W in waco now no i was more making a joke about like chip gains dylan oh yeah i don't do chip gains humor i don't i don't fuck with that do you know about the seven seals dylan stop doing what like koresh like everything everything's like fair game for you except chip games just don't bring chip games content into my world i'm gonna swat it out like slap the table don't talk about chip like that more known world. I'm going to swat it out. Dylan, like, slaps the table. Don't talk about Chip like that. War known in Waco, Chip Gaines or David Koresh?
Starting point is 00:05:50 Chip Gaines. Dude, Chip. Chip somehow did it to him. David Koresh has been dead for, how long ago was that? 20 plus years? 1995? I feel like Chip Gaines, like, I feel like he has, like, a saltwater shower installed into his, like, place just so his hair always looks crusty from the ocean. He is, like, the human embodiment of Salt Life.
Starting point is 00:06:09 Does Joanne, Joanna, what's her name? Jojo, no, Joanna. I could see her having a Salt Wife sticker on the back of her car. That sucks. Yes. You know that they've entertained that at the Salt Life. Salt Baby on board. that at the Salt Life. Salt Baby on board.
Starting point is 00:06:24 You think Salt, like they hired Salt Bay to play like his 50th birthday and like he just sprinkled salt in his beautiful hair. That'd be kind of tight. How does he do it? That's exactly how he does it. He does it all cocky. No, he does it like this.
Starting point is 00:06:39 Dave was just doing it how Bill Gates would do it. Hey, Dylan. Don't do that, David. Oh, don't do the middle finger. There's no question about who it's for. Don't do the whole lady middle finger. There's no question who this middle finger's for. It's like over the steering wheel, too.
Starting point is 00:06:56 It's like, you cut me off. For you. Yeah, you're going 18 into a 30. Like, get out of my way, lady. What are you doing? Didn't you go 18 into a 30? Like, get out of my way, lady. What are you doing? Didn't you go 18 into a 30? Thought it was the other way around. What's your problem, dude?
Starting point is 00:07:11 What's your deal? I thought it was positive vibes only. Yeah, you're crushing my vibes right now. You're trying to. You can't say positive vibes. You can't crush these positive vibes. You can't say positive vibes only and then not let us make fun of Chip Gaines. Like, that's literally in our wheelhouse.
Starting point is 00:07:26 Mostly, I don't really know who he is. I know about him, but I don't know what he looks like. You're more of a Chris Gaines guy. I don't watch that stupid show. Chris Gaines, who's actually playing the inauguration. His net worth is not what I thought it would be. They used to call me Chris Gaines when I was at the gym, just like moving big boy weight.
Starting point is 00:07:45 Do you get it? Like Gaines? Yeah, I understand. Okay. I heard you're doing less weight, more reps. No. No, I'm not. I'm going up in weight, Dave, all across the board.
Starting point is 00:08:01 Dude, just wait. Wait until I unveil this new bod that I'm working on. You're going to shit yourself. I don't care. You, just wait. Wait till I unveil this new bod that I'm working on. You're going to shit yourself. I don't care. You're going to. You're going to eat one too many avocados. Nah, dude. You need to get up to 225 if you're serious about gains.
Starting point is 00:08:16 I don't want to be 225. I'm actually losing weight. Oh, well, see, that's how you know you're not gaining. Right. Call you Chip Cut. Scientifically, what you just you're not gaining. Right. Call you Chip Cut. Scientifically, what you just said makes a lot of sense. Call you Chris Less. I feel great.
Starting point is 00:08:31 Less as opposed to gaining. What's the opposite of gaining? Losing? Chris Loser? Chris Loser. I just said Chip Cut. Yeah, dude. Listen one time to your fucking co-host.
Starting point is 00:08:41 What is Chip Cut? Oh, like he's cutting? It's a cutting phase. I like him. Yeah. What's your problem? Chip loser just, Chip loser is not
Starting point is 00:08:48 Posse vibes only. That's for sure. That's mean. Happy Inauguration Day. We have a new president. Yes. You hear about this? Yeah, I'm not fucking watching it
Starting point is 00:09:00 because I'd rather record this podcast. I'm watching a UFC fight. Why are they competing i actually slept in really late this morning so i haven't really seen anything going on besides the fact that w is wearing a robeck mask it's just a robeck stellar 20 and personal jake you can't talk rest of the episode or else you owe me a coke i'll just buy you a coke did you hear me will a coke not coke thank you what inauguration, Joe Biden. That's good. That's good. You watched the documentary.
Starting point is 00:09:27 Yeah, last night I took some time out of my night, my busy night, and I decided to watch the 30-minute documentary on Vice about Papa Roach and their recording of that song. Smooth Criminal? No. Oh. I have to say, not the best way to spend 26 minutes. Really?
Starting point is 00:09:47 It's fine. It kind of makes you feel a little bad when you hear what the inspiration from the song is and stuff, but I'm still going to keep doing the jokes. I will say, for how that band was pretty much a one-hit wonder, all the guys in the band look very put together and good these days. I'm very happy for Papa Roach. Are they still doing music? I don't know. The band was named after the lead singer's
Starting point is 00:10:10 grandpa, whose name was Papa Roach Jr. Roach was spelled R-O-A-T-C-H. Very cool. The more you know. Word I'm getting from my sources is that Lady Gaga, shout out to my little monsters out there, is absolutely crushing it at the inauguration, which should be no surprise to anybody.
Starting point is 00:10:32 Can we expose you real quick? What? Expose it! There are people out there saying that you're not a little monster because you haven't heard the Rain On Me song, which was released eight months ago. Yeah, but you know what? I went and listened to the song, and it's just not good. It's really good. That's why it's not on my radar.
Starting point is 00:10:47 Have you ever done a Peloton ride to it? I think you know the answer to that. Well, get out of my face. She is just an amazing artist, David. Oh, gosh. Yeah, that's not exactly going out on a limb. It's a pretty boilerplate take. Oh, so you agree that she's great?
Starting point is 00:11:02 Yeah, she's sold hundreds of millions of albums worldwide. Is Dave a little monster? Welcome. I went and saw the movie that wasn't that good with her and Bradley Cooper, but everybody said it was good because there was a song and Bradley Cooper fake sang it. Yeah, that's right. Negative vibes only today. Per Wikipedia, this song...
Starting point is 00:11:21 Why are you bringing neggy vibes in here? Per Wikipedia, Dylan, this song, Rain On Me, it ended 2020 as Billboard's top song. Isn't that Hailey Duff? Best song. Best song on Billboard. Maybe not the top song, but the best song. Time out. That's not a Hilary Duff song.
Starting point is 00:11:39 I've been on a big time Red Dirt kick lately. Red Dirt. I've been Red Dirt boy. You're all over the place. Is it Elton John? You just said you were sitting on your sectional listening to Elton John all last night. No, he was cleaning. Probably cleaning the microwave from the steak microwave an hour ago.
Starting point is 00:11:53 I was in the kitchen, dog. I was in the kitchen. What's your deal? Oh, shit. My steak is bubbling. Sorry, man. It's all the politics. It got me.
Starting point is 00:11:58 I had a toaster oven and I was making a tuna melt. True story. Really? What went on that tuna melt? We don't need to talk about everything that goes on. What went on the tuna melt? No, you made it this way. Cheese?
Starting point is 00:12:10 It was on whole wheat. Did you actually make tuna salad or did you just put tuna on bread? No. Ahi? He bought some ahi. What kind of whole wheat? Is it Dave's Killer Bread? It was Whole Foods brand whole wheat bread.
Starting point is 00:12:27 I think it's a Whole Foods brand. Okay. It's good bread. I mean, I'm not going to write home about it, but it's good bread. You're telling us about it right now. You asked me about it, you fuck. Well. So what happened?
Starting point is 00:12:42 It was supposed to be a Posse vibe episode. So what's the red dirt you're on? Oh, I'm all over the place. Jason Bowen? No, I'm not doing Jason Bowen. You don't like Jason Bowen? I'm still fucking heavy with Tyler Childers, man. Big time.
Starting point is 00:12:57 Is he red dirt? A lot of Cody Jinx. A lot of Cody Jinx. What's red dirt anymore? Whiskey Myers. Yeah, that's red dirt. Whiskey Myers, take my mind. That's different.
Starting point is 00:13:08 That's actually a Willie Nelson song, and you changed the lyric because you're... What? Because you're bringing neggy vibes in. How is that negative? I'm singing songs over here, and you're not. I'm the only one with the guts to sing. That was a disrespectful to Willie. You're kind of like lame Red Dirt artists, to be honest.
Starting point is 00:13:24 Oh, get out of here. I'm more of a deep cut guy myself. Oh, who? Name one. Like Tim McGraw and shit? Yes. Tim McGraw. Yeah, dude.
Starting point is 00:13:32 Look, a great career. That guy's music is terrible. I'm sorry. I'll say it. I'm going to throw the flag. I don't think Tyler Childers is red dirt. Wow. I threw the flag.
Starting point is 00:13:40 How would you classify it? I don't know. It's not red dirt. Then you've got to tell me what it is. Isn't it from West Virginia? He's from Kentucky. Very close. Similar area.
Starting point is 00:13:52 Right? Kind of. From where? What? Kentucky and West Virginia. I don't think they're that close. They're not not close. You can drive there pretty quickly.
Starting point is 00:14:00 It's just like... I think it's easier to drive from... I think it's legitimately faster to drive from Kentucky to West Virginia than it is to drive from Vancouver to Banff. What about Hartford to Canada? That's sneaky. That's actually shorter. It's shorter to drive from Hartford to Canada than it is to drive from Vancouver to Banff. Kentucky and West Virginia share a border.
Starting point is 00:14:19 Kentucky and West Virginia share a border. You can literally drive there in under a minute. You can walk across it. You can throw a vortex across it. Who knew? Yeah. No one knew that. It's a real easy drive, apparently.
Starting point is 00:14:30 You know that El Paso is closer to California than it is to Dallas? I did know that. Everyone in Texas tells you that. That's weird. David, you did know that. Yeah, I did. I've heard that since I was a boy. You don't know shit.
Starting point is 00:14:40 You know, a lot of people don't know what El Paso means. It means the Paso. I'm pretty sure a lot of people. That's right. That's right. You know, a lot of people don't know what El Paso means. It means the Paso. I'm pretty sure a lot of people. That's right. That's right. Crush that. Let's get some programming notes out of the way. Go follow Circling Back Pod and watch me on Instagram.
Starting point is 00:14:53 They border each other. Also, we did discuss briefly our Queen Victoria from The Bachelor. Go to patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast for all your Bachelor coverage. Been really enjoying this season, if I'm being honest. It's been a great one. It's because I stand a queen. Our episodes are freaking fire. I'll say.
Starting point is 00:15:11 Oh, they're freaking fire. They're good. Really good. Also, go check out. Some are saying they're our best. Some are saying it's the best. Some guy who doesn't even watch the show. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:21 Said that on Reddit. People listen to our podcast and don't even watch the damn show. I'm pretty sure there was a 20-minute chunk of yesterday's podcast about The Bachelor where we didn't even think about The Bachelor. Like, I kind of forgot where I was. Yeah, we were just flowing with the posse vibes that we were creating. Yeah, there's just posse vibes. Are we going to just rename Circling Back to posse vibes only? Dylan had a similar thing that he said, but it wasn't posse vibes.
Starting point is 00:15:41 It was something else. They're similar. Don't get dirty with this. Grow up, dude. It't posse vibes. It was something else. They're similar. Don't get dirty with this. Grow up, dude. It was postie vibes. Oh, postie vibes. That's good. I did say that. Wasn't Trump trying to give a posthumous
Starting point is 00:15:56 pardon to Bernie Madoff, and he said ponzi vibes only? Okay. Go check out youtube.com slash washed media. Do your Brandon Boyd joke on here. Dude, there were numerous people out there. It didn't do numbers, but there were numerous people in my mention saying that it was one of my better tweets. Dylan came in here yesterday talking about Brandon Boyd, and I was like, there's no way Dylan knows who Brandon Boyd is.
Starting point is 00:16:18 Put in me while I burst into flames. There it is. Wait, I forgot who he is. Who is he? The lead singer of Incubus. There it is. Wait, I forgot who he is. Who is he? The lead singer of Incubus. Oh, yeah. Ever heard of him? Found it.
Starting point is 00:16:30 I mean, barely. Either way, patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast. Bachelor on Tuesdays. Voicemails on Fridays. Let's talk about Headspace real quick as well. Even in the new year, it's hard to start a new routine. You guys know that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:44 Dylan's been trying to, like, gain mass, and he's just losing at a rapid pace. I love Headspace. I love it. Yeah. I pretty much did a free ad read for it in this week's Sunday Scaries podcast. Good. For people who have never dabbled in meditation before but are kind of like, I kind of want to try it, but I don't really know how to do it,
Starting point is 00:17:02 Headspace walks you through it. It's perfect for beginners. Do you know 34% of Americans made a resolution to be less stressed? That's a great resi. It's a great one, and Headspace is here to help. Headspace is your daily dose of mindfulness in the form of guided meditations on an easy-to-use app. See, it's one of the only meditation apps that's actually advancing the field of mindfulness and meditation through clinically validated research. It has the distinction of being an app that I think all of us used before
Starting point is 00:17:29 it was ever even a sponsor. Yeah. Yes. And this isn't in the ad copy. I'm just going to throw out a recommendation here. This is what I did on Scaries. They have a new show on Netflix. And so if you're thinking about dabbling and getting into meditation, I highly recommend checking out the show. Not only do you learn about meditation, but you actually get to meditate for a little bit during the show. Shut that brain off, man. It's very, very relaxing. Very relaxing. But their approach to mindfulness, it can reduce stress, improve sleep, boost focus, can increase your overall sense of well-being.
Starting point is 00:18:01 Plus, I mean, the dude's voice, it just feels great the second you hear it. Can't you pick the voice? Do they have different voices? I only do the main guy. I only do the main dude. He's my guy. I could be wrong. It's backed by 25 published studies on its benefits, got 600,000 five-star reviews, and
Starting point is 00:18:18 over 60 million downloads. Can you imagine not being one of the 60 million people that's sitting here right now feeling more relaxed because you have this on your phone? It makes it easier for you to build a life-changing meditation practice with mindfulness that works for you on your schedule anytime, anywhere. You deserve to feel happier, and Headspace is meditation made simple. Go to headspace.com slash circling. That's headspace.com slash circling for a free one-month trial with access to Headspace's full library of meditations for every situation. This is the best deal offered right now.
Starting point is 00:18:48 So head over to headspace.com slash circling today. Talk about posi vibes. Seriously. Posi vibes only, dude. Can we talk about dinosaur buttholes? I've been waiting to talk dinosaur b-holes. You've got to think Headspace was psyched to hear this headline coming up right after that. So scientists have finally found a dinosaur's butthole.
Starting point is 00:19:07 Well, it took us so long. That's what I want to know. Yeah. Is there not someone that's constantly trying to find keisters out there at the dig sites? Dude, don't call them keisters. What's going on? So a dinosaur that died some 120 million years ago has left behind such an exquisitely preserved – they say – I don't even know how to pronounce this word for one.
Starting point is 00:19:26 I'm just going to say what it is. Butthole. It's an orifice used for defecation, urination, and copulation. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. All three of those things? What are you doing? For some reason, the word orifice grosses me out more than butthole does.
Starting point is 00:19:41 Is it orifice or orifice? Orifice. Orifice. Don't they also have really dope outdoors clothes? Yeah. I hate you. Very expensive, but high end. Pretty nice.
Starting point is 00:19:54 They're pretty nice. Orifice. They say the, quote, unusually fine preservation and fortuitous orientation of this early Cretaceous genital bum combo, which belonged to a dog-sized dinosaur called the Psittacosaurus. Psittacosaurus. Parks probably knows all about that thing. He does. The Randy-saurus. Why do we have our dinosaur expert in here today?
Starting point is 00:20:14 Should we call him? He's in school. The other Stellosaurus. Hey, this one's for you. Thanks, David. Imagine if you took your kid out of class for the day because he was our dinosaur expert on this podcast. Just do it. Yeah, this headline says,
Starting point is 00:20:31 First preserved dinosaur butthole is, quote, perfect and, quote, unique. You think anyone's ever described your butthole that way? I don't talk about my butthole publicly. There's only two people in the world that have ever seen my butthole. They're my parents. I'm very protective over this thing. Damn. A man's butthole is just, it's not the best looking people in the world that have ever seen my butthole. They're my parents. I'm very protective over this thing. Damn. A man's butthole is just, it's not the best looking thing in the world.
Starting point is 00:20:49 Let's just put it out there. Why a man's and not? Because men are typically hairier, Dave. Really? Than women. Uh-huh. Interesting. Women normally, they usually take a little more care of that.
Starting point is 00:21:04 Not me. Some people just bleach it, too. Yeah, some people do. Some people don't. Yeah, some people do. Some people don't. Yeah, like everyone in here, to my knowledge. Some people say they're going to do it, and then they don't.
Starting point is 00:21:18 What makes this butthole so perfect? Well, funny you ask, because it says dinosaur skin is rare and often patchy when they look at the fossils. And for some reason, this region always seems to be missing. I don't know. So this is a big revelation. You think that it was ass-eating season and their predators just ate them? It might have been ass-eating season. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:43 It's a good question. Isn't it wild how long ago these fuckers were walking around Earth? We even know that. What dinosaur is out here snatching up the other dinosaur's buttholes? Yeah, there's still some fresh b-hole over here if you guys are still hungry. The Bubba Sparks-a-saurus. Why? Because he found you, Miss New Booty.
Starting point is 00:22:02 Booty, booty, booty, booty. Rocking everywhere. Eating everywhere. Literally rocking over there. Okay. No. I'm currently looking at like, they have like, this is an interesting looking butthole, if I'm being honest. Did you say it has three, it does three different?
Starting point is 00:22:20 It does three different things, Dave. That's a pretty. Defecation, urination, and copulation. In this Vice article, they do a super close above his dinosaur's butthole. Let's see it. They get in there. Are you talking about the one that's all pointed out? I don't really understand.
Starting point is 00:22:38 I'm talking about the zoomed-in shot of the butthole. Yeah, they're getting in on this thing. Yeah. It's like my urologist. It has a dorsal lobe. It's not funny, Dylan. What do you think they do with this? It's perfect and unique.
Starting point is 00:22:57 I don't know. Is Nicolas Cage about to buy this and add it to his dinosaur collection? I think he's going to steal it. Are you guys aware of him? Do we talk about this? Nick Cage has quite the extensive dinosaur bone collection. Nicholas Cage spent $150 million on a dinosaur skull. Pygmy heads and two European castles.
Starting point is 00:23:16 Do you think he'll let me bring Parks over to his crib and just check him out? I don't know. Hey, you watched National Treasure for the first time recently. I told y'all that if I ever become super rich, I'm going to buy a full-ass skeleton for parks. Triceratops, maybe. Maybe a stegosaurus. You probably could have done it if you didn't sell your Bitcoin
Starting point is 00:23:34 at a loss like two months ago. Maybe a dilophosaurus. What about the bubba sparks-a-saurus? Those are really hard to find. I don't know if I can do that. Booty, booty, booty, booty. Rocking everywhere. He didn't choose to rhyme.
Starting point is 00:23:50 Ryman chose him. Is that what he says? I don't know if it works like that. How many X's are there in his name? At least three. I don't know. He hasn't popped up on my Spotify in a very long time, if ever. Miss New Booty, it's one of the more underrated songs.
Starting point is 00:24:06 I found you. He found her, though. That's the thing. What did he do when he found her? He just pointed, like, guys, right here. Got her. X-Marx is up. So what about this butthole, man?
Starting point is 00:24:19 He was like a pirate leaning over the bow of the ship with a really old-school-long copper telescope. He's he's like right ahead you think that's how he found her miss new booty right ahead he had the sextant out get it sextant on the poop deck i found that i don't know i can leave is he a pirate no i don't know he kind of went into like a... I wouldn't hate if they cast Bubba Sparks in the next Pirates of the Caribbean. He could replace Johnny Depp.
Starting point is 00:24:51 Who are they going to... They have to replace him, right? I mean, I don't know if they're still doing him, to be honest. They don't have to do anymore. We're fine. One time in like, I think it was like middle school or something,
Starting point is 00:25:00 like I ended up... I actually watched Pirates of the Caribbean in theaters twice in a row because I was like trying to hit on some girl. girl nice i was supposed to meet her at the early show and then like she texted like right before we got there and she said she couldn't couldn't go to the early show so she was going to the late one i was like well i guess i'm sneaking into the second movie this sounds like a blink 182 song kind of does it's not though okay it's just my life your life is a movie literally two of them i really i just wanted
Starting point is 00:25:25 after she sent me the text that she couldn't make to the first one i just wanted to cut my life into pieces wow yum all that to to dunk it down with the papa roach don't what are you reading you look like you're really puzzled i'm reading about the uh the the cloaca or the cloaca. You need to be careful. You almost said something different. Be very careful, Sarah. What? The first syllable that came out of your mouth after that was something very different. What do you think I was going to say?
Starting point is 00:25:54 It sounded like a – I'm not going to say it. Like another word for penis? Mm-mm. Nope. Yeah, a mini one. Oh, a mini one. The clitoris. Yeah, that's what it sounded like. Okay, Jesus. I wasn't going to say clitoris. Okay, Jesus.
Starting point is 00:26:05 I wasn't going to say clitoris. Family show. It's like a sexual organ, too. There's a sexual... Dude, get you a butthole that can do both. There's a sexual element to it. Most vertebrate animals have evolved cloaca or cloaca to tend to their sexual and waste removal needs
Starting point is 00:26:23 as opposed to the multiple events animals or events mammals use to accomplish the same task. What's that called? That's what copulation means. Copulation. Yeah, he,
Starting point is 00:26:32 Will went through this. We're breathing. Y'all don't know shit about the cloaca. Y'all don't know shit. Dude, don't you go to the Amazon to take that
Starting point is 00:26:39 and hallucinate? Mm-hmm. If dinosaur buttholes made you hallucinate, would you do it? Do you have to eat the butthole? Mm-hmm. If dinosaur buttholes made you hallucinate, would you do it? Do you have to eat the butthole? Mm-hmm. Don't. You have to dry it out first, though.
Starting point is 00:26:53 And, like, sprinkle it on pizza, like mushrooms or something? Yeah, you have to make a peanut butter sandwich so it's easier to digest since it tastes kind of weird. It's hundreds of millions of years old. It's dried out. Like, it's good. Yeah, like, at this point, it's not weird. It's like jerky. If it's fossilized booty, it's good. Yeah, like, at this point, it's not weird. If it's fossilized booty,
Starting point is 00:27:05 it's different. I love a good fossilized booty. Fossilized booty just hits different. Bodacious. I'm sorry. You have to think that when, like, the paleontologist, like, finally, like,
Starting point is 00:27:20 brushed off this part, that they had to have turned on Bubba Sparks immediately. They had to have. I'm going to go out of limb and say they didn't yo put it hey who's got the aux put sparks on give me some bubba we did it what's like an intern nurse or doctor called a resident or like somebody who's like learning and like they don't they don't do the surgery but they're like they're watching you're looking at me because that looking at me because I'm married to a medical professional.
Starting point is 00:27:47 I have no clue. I don't know why. They get the ox. One of the doctors that Sally works with is a big deadhead, so he always puts on Grateful Dead, and I think Sally kind of likes it. That's so heady. Yeah. Very cool. I don't know if I want my doctor during surgery listening to a band called Grateful Dead,
Starting point is 00:28:07 but it's still posi vibes. Grateful Undead is what we're looking for. I guess it's better than widespread panic. Not actually. Or fish. I actually think fish might be pretty chill. Dylan's not only tuned out, but he's now moved on to a different story, I can tell. Yeah, I'm over you guys.
Starting point is 00:28:26 Oh, so do you want to talk about Joe Biden's Peloton? Yeah, I would like to. Why does Joe Biden have a Peloton? It's game season. He's trying to stay in shape. What are we talking about? I'm not even sold that he has one, but this was a big issue yesterday. It's that Joe Biden has a Peloton and it raises issues at the White
Starting point is 00:28:42 House because of security. Cyber security risks. Oh, because it connects to the net. How can't they get around this? Like, why is a Peloton crumpling the brains of, like... They definitely can. And there's... I have not followed the money, but somewhere in there, whoever owns Peloton has given some money.
Starting point is 00:29:04 And they're leaking the story to just give them more free pub. Can you ride the thing offline, or you got to be plugged in? You got to be plugged in, dude. You can't just hop on it and start pedaling without the screen turning on or whatever? You could, feasibly, but like— What's the point? Yeah, you wouldn't know what your resistance is or anything. You'd have to go on feel.
Starting point is 00:29:24 Is he a part of the Bad Boys of Pelly? It's unknown whether or not he is a part of the hashtag Bad Boys of Pelly. It started by Micah Weiner, which actually has a much larger following than you would ever expect. Yeah, apparently some of our old interns follow him there. Dude, the Bad Boys, I don't know how Micah did this, but bad boys of Pelly is like, it's got steam. He's a bad boy. He drives a bad toy. Ford Fiesta.
Starting point is 00:29:50 There's 165 members of the bad boys of Pelly. That's pretty good. Yeah. Circling back has 265 members. He's gaining on us. We have a group. Yeah. I created it.
Starting point is 00:30:02 Did not know. Yep. You have to. So there's like a huge wait list to get a peloton right like if i wanted one i would not feasibly be able to get it delivered for like months no but i got i actually got the inside track on one if you need to use one i don't need to use one but can i do you have like a way i can get it sooner we've talked about getting one yes i have someone currently in my life who's trying to sell their Peloton at a lower price with immediate availability.
Starting point is 00:30:29 Hop on that, Dave. If you are thinking to yourself as a listener of this podcast that you're going to DM me and think that I'm going to set this up, I'm absolutely not going to do that. This is for friends and family. I don't feel like being the middleman here because I don't think I'm going to get a cut. Join me on this leg journey, David.
Starting point is 00:30:44 I've been on a leg journey. Do you want to feel my calves right now? I can't tell. Do you want to feel my calves right now? No, I'm good, dude. Dude, feel my calves. Okay, come on. Do you want to feel it? Yeah. Dude, feel it. Dude, that's a hard-ass calf. Dude, that's a hard-ass calf. Are you serious? Uh-huh. Damn, I don't feel like that. Uh-huh. I got bitch calves. Dude, your boy's been grinding on his calf game. That's a serious calf. Mm-hmm. Do I know this person? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:07 Okay. So technically, you just have to put it. I probably texted in a group text at some point with this person. No. Oh. You've met this person numerous times. Why did this person give up on their peli journey? Because they're just doing other shit. Outdoors and stuff.
Starting point is 00:31:23 Okay. I'm going to try to find Joe Biden on Peloton right now and see his numbers. I will say, I put out this tweet last night. His numbers cannot be good. No, they're trash. That man is old and he is brittle. He's an old, brittle man.
Starting point is 00:31:34 I also like to imagine him only doing like classes with like hot instructors. Let's go, Sleepy Joe. Come on, almost there. That's my Peloton instructor impression. The one bit that I wish that I had on Twitter instead of Shido having on Twitter is doing like Peloton instructor, fake Peloton instructor quotes. It's good.
Starting point is 00:31:55 It's just a really good bit. Does he do numbers on there? I have to think he does. Yeah, but dude, our man. Oh, Joe Biden. There is a Joe Biden on here. It says USA and he's got 32 followers. There's no way that's him.
Starting point is 00:32:09 It could be him, dude. It could be him. Let me just say, I don't want to live in a world where you can follow the president's Peloton. He needs to make that private. I don't want to see his numbers. If other world leaders go to Peloton and they see his numbers, they're going to be like, wow, the U.S. is way more vulnerable than we ever thought. He's old, though. I don't think it's going to take a Peloton to...
Starting point is 00:32:33 To what? To make them think that. He's significantly older. Do you think he's doing, like, the hip-hop rides with Alex Toussaint and shit? I don't know these people. Yeah, dude. Dude, if you don't know Alex Toussaint, then you are not activating your greatness. We just went over how neither of us have Pelotons.
Starting point is 00:32:51 I can sell you one. Right. I have a plug. Okay. I don't know if I want one now that I know it could get hacked. Oh, gosh. Can they get to my Bitcoin through it?
Starting point is 00:33:04 Hard to say. This says, the failing New York Times said, Mr. Biden would get to my Bitcoin through it? Hard to say. This says the failing New York Times said Mr. Biden would not be the first occupant of the White House whose desire for electronics clashes cybersecurity needs of being president. President Barack Obama insisted on bringing his BlackBerry to the White House, but later had to use an iPad instead. Trump had the iPhone. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. DCO having the BlackBerry.
Starting point is 00:33:27 Yeah. Because of Curve? Barry had a BlackBerry. That, honestly, is swag. It's not. The red dot? No, dude, BlackBerrys were the shit. Did you ever have a BlackBerry?
Starting point is 00:33:37 Dude, in 08, 07, 08? No, I always passed on them. When he was president, 08, yeah. That was cool, man. Did you BBM with people? The girl from The Bachelor? When I was moving, oh, wait, yeah, that was cool, man. Did you BBM with people? The girl from The Bachelor? When I was moving product for Senior Wireless, we had opportunities to get free BlackBerrys,
Starting point is 00:33:52 and I was like, no, I'm good. I'll take the Razor instead. Oh, dude, I had the BlackBerry Pearl. Oh, that thing was so swag. You put that thing down on a first date, you were getting a second date every single time. It was so clunky. You were going to see two movies with that girl.
Starting point is 00:34:04 Remember the one that was just, it was a square, basically? Yeah, I had that one. That one's trash. No. But when the red dots started going off, it was like, yep,
Starting point is 00:34:12 shit's happening right now. Bay's texting me. Bay would never text a Blackberry guy. Hey, Dylan. Oh, shit. Why are you doing that, dude? I don't think I deserve that.
Starting point is 00:34:24 This is supposed to be a Posse vibe episode. Dude, the birds are migrating right now. Ooh. Ooh. Like the ducks do. For those who can't see, Dave's giving me the finger right now. It's the pointy finger.
Starting point is 00:34:36 It's a pointy middle finger, though, David. Right. So there's no misconceptions about who that middle finger's for. It's for you. Yeah. Not Will. Not Randy. We're clear on that.
Starting point is 00:34:45 You know, there are reports out here that Michelle Obama has a modified Peloton, but her spokesman would not confirm these rumors. Yeah, so this shouldn't be an issue that we're even talking about. They've already figured this out. I don't know. She got, like, a paint job on her or something? Like, what do you mean? She candy painted the Peli?
Starting point is 00:35:12 Exhibit shows up. Is there to pimp your pelly there's a fish tank in your bike seat modified pelly huh i always thought that was cruel when they would show like from movies from the 70s i had the platform shoes that had like the fish and little goldfish in it and had like six inches to swim around. Is this from Boogie Nights or something? Yes. I've never seen Boogie Nights. I've only seen parts. Do you actually see Wang in it?
Starting point is 00:35:33 He shows his piece at the end, yeah. Is it big? It's massive, but it's a prosthetic. It's not real. How do you know? I never read about it. That's the weird thing is that he's never cranked it. Yeah, I mean, it's like 14 inches.
Starting point is 00:35:47 And he wakes up at 2.30 a.m., right? I still can't get over that. It's the dumbest thing in the world. He does a Peloton ride, then he lifts, compound lifts only. Then he does kettlebells after that. Then he sleeps. Then he gets back up, makes dinner, then fasts until 2.30 a.m. It makes no sense to me to go to bed at 7 so you can wake up at 2.
Starting point is 00:36:07 You're missing out on so much. Go to bed at 10 and wake up at 5. What's your problem? You're missing out on prime time. Prime time. I'm adding this Joe Biden. Don't add the fake Joe Biden. I'm adding the fake Joe Biden.
Starting point is 00:36:24 Why? Because I want to see. If he starts putting up shitty numbers, I'm going to expose him. I want him to go all out. I'm going to cancel Joe Biden. I want a photo up from the Oval Office of him and, like, the full Lance Armstrong. Like, riding that thing. Can you message people on there?
Starting point is 00:36:43 No, but you can pop into their rides and FaceTime them. Who wants to do that? Nobody. I deny them. People try? Do backers try to do that to you? No, just my buddy. I shouldn't deny him, actually.
Starting point is 00:36:55 I should probably just let him do it. The tube socks? No, it wasn't tube socks. No one's going to look hot while they're peddling a peli. They can't take this away. What if Joe Biden ends up being the president with the most cake? Dude, have you seen Trump? No one has more cake than Trump.
Starting point is 00:37:09 Yeah, but his cake is like... It's gross cake. He had messy cake. Yeah, but it's still cake. That cake's a mess. But he didn't have the best cake. Not the best, but the most. Teddy Roosevelt?
Starting point is 00:37:20 Roosevelt had to have cake. Teddy Roosevelt. Is that how you're supposed to say it? It depends on if you teach history. Yeah. No, Taft had to have cake. Teddy Roosevelt. Is that how you're supposed to say it? It depends on if you teach history. Yeah. No, Taft had the most cake. He's the one who got stuck in the bathtub? Hard to say.
Starting point is 00:37:34 Because of his cake? He was 5 feet 11 and a half, kind of like your boy. And his weight was between 325 and 350. That is grossly overweight. He was rotund. Big boy. Yes, he did. Dave, you're right. He did grossly overweight. Rotund. Big boy. Yes, he did. Dave, you're right.
Starting point is 00:37:46 He did have difficulty getting out of the White House bathtub, so he had a 7-foot-long, 41-inch-wide tub installed. That's a big tub. Big boy season. Big boy season. I'm looking at pictures of Taft right now, and, like, yeah, he's our thick king. You hate too much of that Laffy Tafty it's possible that Laffy Tafty
Starting point is 00:38:10 it's possible oh man oh yeah he thick he thick thick no one's thicker than Trump lower body he's a LBD lower body disaster you're right he absolutely is he looks terrible his lower body's's a LBD lower body disaster you're right he absolutely is terrible his lower body's a liability he looked terrible without a coat covering his bottom half like long you know suit and shit we're not here to body shame we're just talking about how taft is the guy lost his
Starting point is 00:38:39 job today and you just you're just fat shame he no he he wrong with you guys? No, he was laid off. Like, you can't just body shame a dude. You can't kick all these down. Hey, I'm going to let one of you guys have it because I'm feeling positive today. Somebody should tweet a picture of him getting in the helicopter and just says, you're fired. Wow. Dude. No one's done that.
Starting point is 00:38:58 Do it. Don't do it. No. Odds you'll do it. I'm not doing it. That show was entertaining. I watched The Apprentice. I watched a little bit of a season.
Starting point is 00:39:09 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I don't know why that was funny, Randy. Yeah, Randy's giggling over here. Randy wore his Purdue game day polo today. They got a game tonight. Randy got a new haircut and walked in like he owned the place. Randy came in seven minutes late today and did not bring breakfast tacos.
Starting point is 00:39:24 He wasn't the guy who and did not bring breakfast tacos. He was definitely, he wasn't the guy who was late but brought breakfast tacos. He was the guy who was just late. I don't like the cut of your jib today, Randy. Didn't y'all just gas him up for being punctual? Like three days ago? You're seven minutes late, new haircut,
Starting point is 00:39:41 naggy vibes, didn't bring us food, jerk. Dylan texted us the other day. He's like, hey guys, I'm going to be a little late today. Sorry. Dude shows up at 9.32. Dude, Dylan, you own the company. You don't have to apologize for being two minutes late. Dude, your boy's punctual.
Starting point is 00:39:55 I don't like to make people wait for me. When's the last time we didn't sit here and bullshit for an hour before we actually recorded? We've never recorded on time. Ever. It's true. No. No, never. We used to get to the office at Grand X at like 6 a.m. and bullshit until 9 and then record a podcast.
Starting point is 00:40:10 That's part of the whole process, though. You know? We come in here, we get posi vibes rolling and we just parlay that into a potty. That's how it goes. Sometimes I take it out. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:40:22 I can't hear it. What is it? That was ants marching. It's posi vibes. Okay. Are we done talking about Biden on the peli? You want to go back to the butthole? No.
Starting point is 00:40:32 No. I'm still not clear on that story. The butthole one? Do you think the dinosaurs had a peloton and their butthole was so in shape that it lasted throughout thousands of years? Well, it's not really a muscle. Is it? The sphincter is.
Starting point is 00:40:47 The sphincter is a muscle. But that's not the actual booty hole. If you want to get technical, like a butthole is actually not anything. It's just a hole. Or as Dylan would say, an orifice. It's an anus. An oose. It's an anus.
Starting point is 00:41:00 It's the Latin. It's a butthole. This is a gross episode, man. Do you want to phone Sally right now and she can explain to us? Why is a-hole so much more biting than booty hole? No, this is how I think when people on Twitter, when they put a star in a word to bleep it out, it's more biting to me than when they don't. Is that so it's not searchable?
Starting point is 00:41:21 Is that why people do it? Yeah, I think new mail-in host Kayla did it recently with somebody she was talking shit on, and it was probably because she didn't want people searching the name and then just mobbing her. We've all been there. A lot of people do that with Chrissy Teigen. I see that quite a bit.
Starting point is 00:41:38 Teigs. Beyonce. I wish I would have done it for Avril Lavigne. Yeah, you did. People came after you? You did allege her death. I tweeted at Kanye one time and the Free Britney movement came after me. I didn't even tweet about Britney.
Starting point is 00:41:51 I don't know how that even happened. More likely to be actually alive, Epstein or Avril Lavigne? Rhyming coincidental. Epstein. Okay. Epstein. Epstein. Were we expecting him to part in Ghislaine?
Starting point is 00:42:09 The G-Lane? That would have been ugly. I don't think so. He does wish her the best of luck, though, in her future endeavors. I don't. Let's talk about public rec real quick. Nice. S.
Starting point is 00:42:23 I actually pulled these out of the drawer the other day. Tossed them on. You know what Sally said? What pants are those? They fit you phenomenally. You should get more of those. And you said these are public rec. I was like, you know what, Sally?
Starting point is 00:42:34 These are public rec. Yeah. Mine, they're this hunter green color. Oh, they're clean. I used to run threes at the public rec down the street. No, you didn't. Yeah. No, you didn't.
Starting point is 00:42:43 Dave, you were there. You live in West Austin. You don't have a public wreck out there. I will say this. It's nice not having to change. When I'm hanging out at home playing with Randy, maybe I'm gaming online with Dylan and friends. I'm like, dude, I gotta run down to the coffee shop
Starting point is 00:43:00 and get some Joe. I just leave him on. Yeah. These are sweatpants that look like just actual pants. Oh, I've worn them to a fine restaurant before. Have you worn them to the discotheca? We didn't make it to the discotheca. What? I know.
Starting point is 00:43:13 It was a weird night. We know what your other leisure wear and sweatpants look like, Dylan, and public rec is such a massive upgrade from what you normally do. Okay, I get it. You'd rather be caught dead than wear your favorite pair of sweats outside the house. Do you remember the shorts that Dylan would wear to the gym Grand X days? Yes, they're burnt into my memory. They've been well documented, David.
Starting point is 00:43:33 We know about them. No one has had a better glow up than Dylan, and thank you, Public Rec, for making that happen. Yes, thank you. These things have no zipper pockets. A lot of things have no zipper pockets and stuff like that. No, these things, they keep everything secure on your body. Everything. It's amazing.
Starting point is 00:43:46 It's amazing. Everyone's wardrobes changed a little bit during COVID-19. All of our standards for comfort have changed. We're getting more chill, guys. I'm a fan of how this fashion movement's going. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Comfortable.
Starting point is 00:44:00 Yep, and that's why we're so excited to talk about Public Rec. They make leisure wear in the waist and inseam sizes because comfort starts with a better fit. My favorite pants are their best-selling all-day, everyday sweatpants. Those are the ones that Sally said I needed more of. She didn't even realize they were sweatpants. Common misconception. Yep, because they're a more stylish alternative to sweatpants and a more comfortable alternative to jeans.
Starting point is 00:44:20 Very breathable, too. I don't even like wearing jeans at this point. If I can wear these pants that look like actual pants and they're not, why would I wear jeans? I get pretty bummed when I work out and they're in the dirty clothes. And I go to get them after I shower and put them on and they're like, oh, I can't. They're in the dirty clothes. What a bummer. I've got to put something else on.
Starting point is 00:44:37 It's not fun. Dirty clothes. Yeah. You know I hate those dirty clothes. It must be dirt. Dirty pap. These are great for lounging at home, looking sharp at work, heading to the bar, and everywhere in between. The all-day, every-day pant comes in waist and inseam sizing, so they fit short guys, tall guys, and everyone in between.
Starting point is 00:44:56 And they're made from breathable, stretchy, moisture-wicking fabric. You can wear them all day, every day, and they look brand new. They also have zipper pockets, like I said earlier, so no more having your phone fall out when you sit. These phones are just getting bigger, heavier, clunkier. It's big boy season. Gotta get those zipper pockets. Damn right. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Zip. Now you can get your
Starting point is 00:45:15 whole wardrobe from Public Rec as well. They've got incredibly comfortable shorts, t-shirts, Henleys, polos, hoodies, jackets, even golf gear. We're golf boys. What? Well, Dylan used to be retired because he stinks. You do suck at golf, man. I don't think you can take a Schrazer in an Ad Reap. Oh, geez, Louise.
Starting point is 00:45:30 Public Rec rarely discounts, but right now they have an exclusive offer just for circling back listeners. Go to publicrec.com slash circling and use promo code circling to get 10% off. That's publicrec, R-E-C, and use our promo code circling for 10% off. Now let's get to the story that everybody tuned in for. Question, why are Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina candles always, like every couple months I feel like they're on the news again. I'm tired of hearing about these vagina candles.
Starting point is 00:45:59 Dude, it's the most viral candle to ever grace the scented candle world. What's your favorite Gwyneth Paltrow movie? Mine's Royal Tenenbaums. That's not a bad call, but just... Because she was likable in it. I think that's probably her best performance for my money. She made smoking cigs look real hot. You like shallow how-to, don't you?
Starting point is 00:46:18 But my favorite actual Gwyneth Paltrow movie is The Talented Mr. Ripley. Her part in there was big, but I don't feel like she got to flex as much as she wanted to. Iron Man. Iron Man. I need to pull up her IMDb because I need to know what we're doing here. She's not the star, but it's a great movie. Wasn't she in one of those Queen movies? Not the Queen movie,
Starting point is 00:46:42 but like... Yeah, she was. She was like Queen Elizabeth or Marie Antoinette or something. I don't know, David. Something from that time period, which I know is a lot. Have you ever seen A Perfect Murder? Michael Douglas. I haven't. I don't want to say it's a good movie, but it's an entertaining as hell movie.
Starting point is 00:46:58 Highly recommend watching it. Michael Douglas still alive? Yes. You know he had a scare with? Colon cancer? No, his throat. Throat cancer. Oh, he was eating too much. He cancer? No, his throat. Throat cancer. Oh, he was eating too much.
Starting point is 00:47:06 He was eating too much of it. He was getting in that dinosaur booty. He wasn't eating dinosaur booty. I don't mean to make light. I think he's okay. Do you know she was in Hook? Everybody knows that. Why didn't I realize that?
Starting point is 00:47:20 I haven't seen Hook in forever. Yeah, she's Rufio. I would love to see a remake of her just as Rufio. Isn't he like a cool-ass skater now? Probably. I remember there was a video 15 years later and it was just him at the skate park. You could tell me the Lost Boys were all pro skaters and I would have been psyched.
Starting point is 00:47:37 They put out that vibe. Michael Douglas alive and well. If they had skateboards during the time of Peter Pan, the Lost Boys definitely would have been shredding. They would have had a skate park for sure. Absolutely. Well, dude, the Lost Boys, they had one, basically. They had a zip line, but they had the vert ramp. I still
Starting point is 00:47:53 don't understand how the alligator clock ate Hook in that movie. Did it fall down? It's a clock. I don't recall. If Big Ben falls down, it's going to kill me, but it's not going to eat me. It might throw a pick six on you. Come on, dude.
Starting point is 00:48:10 Dude, don't talk about that. He was at my wedding, dog. It's true. Did you all see him at my wedding at all? He wasn't at your wedding. He was on the premises. He was at the pool. He was at the pool the entire time I was at the pool.
Starting point is 00:48:21 I didn't see him. He left the hotel to go do an interview or something, or some kind of practice in Pittsburgh. And then two days later, he was back at the hotel. I was like, dude, do you live here? I think he does. I would have tossed him a ball and ran a slant go or something, see if he could hit me.
Starting point is 00:48:40 I had all the resumes to talk to him and get away with it. I could have pulled the wedding card. I could have pulled the Miami Redhawk card and I didn't pull either of them and I let him have his time alone. David, I'm a sick route runner. Everybody knows that. No, that's not really your... You throw it up to you and you go up and get it. You're kind of like Dez. You don't run good routes.
Starting point is 00:48:58 I heard you give up on your routes. Oh, get out of it. I've heard numerous cornerbacks say that they know when you're getting thrown to because that's the only time you actually put effort into it. You're the dejected receiver on the other side of the field that doesn't even get a look through the progression. You're just looking down. You stop halfway through.
Starting point is 00:49:12 You don't even try to block downfield. You're so crazy. There's a pick six going the other way, and you give like a real, oh, darn, I didn't get him. I couldn't catch him. Head of the sideline. You put out major run-out-of-bounds vibes instead of get hit. Dude, stop.
Starting point is 00:49:26 I was actually pretty good, man. Four-clock awareness. I was pretty damn good. Like you're up six with the ball, and you just run out of bounds, stop the clock, and everybody's like, dude, what are you doing?
Starting point is 00:49:34 Stay in bounds. Nah. We pretty much outlined every possible scenario. So yeah, in closing, Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina-sensitive candle brought havoc on the life of a British woman when her little bit of mood lighting turned into a roaring blaze. It was mental. Yeah, Jodie Thompson at Kilbourne, North London, told The Sun that she won the anatomically inspired HomeGood, an online quiz, but got more than she bargained for when she went to light it.
Starting point is 00:49:59 Quote, the candle exploded and emitted huge flames with bits flying everywhere. Damn. She said, I've never seen anything like it. The whole thing was ablaze and it was too hot to touch. There was an inferno in the room. That's a bomb-ass candle. What does the branding of this candle look like? Does it say vagina on it? Something about an orgasm?
Starting point is 00:50:15 It looks like a flashlight. Let's be real for a second. I don't know, Dylan. Will might own one. Someone knows the answer to this, that people buy these fucking things. Are you guys ready for what I'm about to say? Yeah. I no longer own it, but I have owned one of these candles.
Starting point is 00:50:30 Really? Yeah. What does it say on it? The candle itself just straight up says, it just says on the label, it says, this candle smells like my vagina. Really? Yeah. Really?
Starting point is 00:50:41 Yes. No, what are you doing on your laptop? What's your thing? Because, okay, I don't hate that I know this, but I definitely know more about this than I need to. When they were first smelling candles, like the samples, apparently a candle came across their noses. Very vagina-like. Yeah, and apparently she said, oh, this smells like a vagina. And then I think they all started laughing and they thought, actually, that could probably be a pretty good sales gimmick.
Starting point is 00:51:08 So let's just call this one, this smells like my vagina. So they just knew that this would be picked up by every dumbass publication in America, and they would get tons of free pub out of it. And so they printed vagina on the candle. Correct. And then after that, they came out with another one that I also bought for Sunday Scaries purposes. Does it smell like my dinosaur's b-hole? What does it say?
Starting point is 00:51:29 It says, this smells like my orgasm. Okay. Orgasms, to my knowledge, don't smell. Ooh, really? Yours don't? You might want to get tested. You might have COVID. What does your orgasm smell like, David?
Starting point is 00:51:40 I don't discuss that publicly. Yeah, why would you ask him that? That's really inappropriate. Oh my God. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That's really inappropriate god I'm sorry I'm sorry that's really inappropriate I'm sorry I can I can say that if Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina smells like that candle then I get Chris Martin wanting to be good yeah wanting to be a part of it what is he, fucking Prince Charles writing a letter to? I would like to be a part of your vagina.
Starting point is 00:52:12 I think he said something way worse. Yes. He wanted to be a specific. Prince Charles is a fucking weirdo. He wrote something really weird. He said he. To who? To Camilla.
Starting point is 00:52:23 He was having a sultry affair. said i want to i can't even say what did he say say it he said something along the lines of i want to be or um maybe another word for feminine napkin okay tampon that's disgusting. Maybe that was just an SNL sketch back in the 90s, but there's something there. He's a weird dude.
Starting point is 00:52:50 He's a weird dude. And he likes writing letters a lot, especially to Camilla. And one of his family members is a known associate of Epstein, so. Yes. He also doesn't sweat. Facts.
Starting point is 00:52:59 Who? Charles? No, the other one. Andrew? Is that his name? I feel like there's benefits to not being a sweat guy, like having zero sweat, but I feel like at the end of your life, it wears on you, not sweating. Like it's just all still in there.
Starting point is 00:53:16 You think the sweat is always just sitting in there? Yeah. Is this like Donald Trump's idea that— The battery. Yeah. Finite amount of energy. I weirdly don't hate that take. It makes sense.
Starting point is 00:53:27 It's a dumb take. I like the take. It's not. I like the take. Your body is a battery. You got to save the energy. Your body is a battery. That was good.
Starting point is 00:53:36 The question I have for... Yeah, no one has run out yet, so go figure. The question I have for Jodie Thompson is, did she... No one's run out? Of energy? People die every day.
Starting point is 00:53:47 Yeah, literally. Hundreds of billions have died. It's not... Okay, no. Anyway. What were you about to say? Do we think Jody Thompson trimmed her wick before she lit this thing? People are wondering.
Starting point is 00:54:01 I'm not trying to side with Gwyneth Paltrow here. But all I'm saying is, if she didn't trim her wick, then we have a major issue here. I'm thinking some to side with Gwyneth Paltrow here. But all I'm saying is if she didn't trim her wick, then we have a major issue here. I'm thinking some of the onus is on Jody. Them boys in Kilbourne, England rolled their wicks all wrong. They do. Too damn skinny. Kilbourne.
Starting point is 00:54:20 North London. Yeah, I think that's not an accident. Craig Kilbourne. Is he Scottish? Doesn't matter. No one even knows who that is. I don't know. Oh, he's Scottish.
Starting point is 00:54:33 Jody's probably like an Arsenal or Tottenham fan, so I don't really care if this thing exploded in her apartment. Just figure it out. You didn't die. You didn't get burned. Just figure it out. Is she suing? What is the deal?
Starting point is 00:54:42 I don't know. Yeah, is she just doing this? Is she just trying to get more candles? Because if so, I might just start exploding my nice candles and then just complaining about it. Send her the Sunday Scaries candle. Those don't explode, David.
Starting point is 00:54:56 Instead of a wick, it's like the M80 fuse. M80's in there. Maybe that's what happened. Do you think someone was trying to get to her? That's probably how they tried to assassinate Castro. They sent him a vagina-scented candle
Starting point is 00:55:12 and it just had like some blackheads in it. I think that's how they kill a lot of people. Are scented candles new anthrax? Still don't know who did that. Dylan, I got you a scented candle. It's in my car. Candles are so expensive, man. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:55:30 That's why I like them. That was the end of what I had to say. I usually get mine at Bed Bath & Body Works. Uh-huh. Yeah. Is that a new store that I'm unaware of? That's where I get my candles. I just get Sunday Scaries candles.
Starting point is 00:55:47 Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that. They don't explode. They don't smell like vagina. They have yet to explode. Dude, that should be your new pre-workout, exploding vagina candle. And no exploding vagina.
Starting point is 00:55:58 Dude, that zombie blood hits, man. Should I just release a candle through Sunday Scaries called this candle smells like an explosion? Or it just won't explode? I need to get on goop's radar in some like some capacity you're probably already on it you're the you're the most goop friendly member of this pod no i'm not friendly i mean i kind of cyber bully them you're not but you're you're friend you're bubble goop yeah like if if wash media went under and goop offered me like a really stupid job i would 100 take it social media media, copywriter. They would fire me within two days. They'd be like, why are you only posting Frasier gifs?
Starting point is 00:56:30 Why did you go live from Perlos? Why are you going to Crawfish Boils every weekend and just getting fucked up on Sundays? There was a stretch there. I'm glad that stretch is over. I can't do that anymore. Actually, speaking of getting fucked up on Sunday, should we do this weekend in font presented by Roebuck? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:51 Do we even need to advertise for Roebuck at this point? Big day for Roebuck. We've got fucking presidents wearing their shit now. I'm afraid they're going to drop us as a client. They should. Yeah. We're small peanuts. I'm not running for president anytime soon.
Starting point is 00:57:03 You're old enough. Didn't you run for president unsuccessfully? No. Who is your running mate? Parks? This is going to be an Oklesadente thing or something that we're doing. What is that? Oscar Mayer?
Starting point is 00:57:18 Shivery Mayer? Steve Bunnin? Oh, shit. Is that a wick? What are you doing? There's like a mark on the table. Why are your hands bleeding black right now? No, I wiped it, and that's what happened, and it stuck on my finger. You wiped it?
Starting point is 00:57:32 I don't know what the hell it is. You got any whaps? You guys got any whaps? What the hell just happened here? Stella 20 will get you 20% off of rollback. You're literally the only person who sits there, so this is on you to clean up. Just saying. Dave, can you tell the people what I wore on the golf course on Friday?
Starting point is 00:57:47 I believe it was Roback. I wore the Roback vest again. I believe Dave and I both have Roback on right now, folks. Randy had on his Roback hoodie yesterday. The hoodies are dope. Yes. I love them. I would like one.
Starting point is 00:58:00 You don't have one? Randy has mine. Oh. Interesting. Wow, new haircut, new wardrobe, new schedule apparently. Randy comes in at 9.37 every single day. Everything's coming up Randy right now. Who just walked in?
Starting point is 00:58:18 UPS. Hell yeah. We got a package. Either way, go to Roback.com. You sell it 20% off your first order. Go check it out. We love a package. Either way, go to Roback.com. You sell it 20% off your first order. Go check it out. We love this stuff. I pretty much wear something Roback every day at this point.
Starting point is 00:58:30 Absolutely. Their workout shirts have become my favorite workout shirts. It's a great workout shirt. It's the softest workout shirt to wipe your face with mid-workout. The navy blue one is my personal favorite. I don't know why. I just look good. It makes my eyes pop.
Starting point is 00:58:42 Let me say this. I have a royal blue one that's beautiful. As a guy with nipples who tend to protrude and show through some of the lighter material shirts. Here we go. I wore a, I won't say the brand, but it rhymes with Shuloo Lemon. Very nipply. Very nipply. Too nipply. I felt uncomfortable.
Starting point is 00:59:02 Too nipply. But Roback, they don't do that. They're dope. They cover those nips up. They're very comfortable. Maybe you should work your nipples out more. Have you ever thought of removing your nipples? Yes.
Starting point is 00:59:13 Or just taping them down. Or wearing like the little, Pacey, what do you call them? Pacey? Pasties. Pasties? I might just Pacey you. Pacey is from Dawson's Creek. Anyway, for the nipple boys out there,
Starting point is 00:59:27 Roback is a very good option for you. I don't want to wait for the lunch to be over. Dawson's Creek is on Netflix now. Let's do a rewatch. I don't need to. I can tell you every episode. What if Dylan didn't turn every ad read into a thirst trap for him? I need to do like the...
Starting point is 00:59:41 Hey, think about my nipples. Yeah, Dylan pimps out the ad read. He's like, dude, my fucking pecs are so big that my nipples are just constantly protruding my muscles are bulging the only oh
Starting point is 00:59:48 the only shirts that help I'm doing the emoji the cover of the nips remember that's not what it is I don't see it is dude did y'all see the three the three new emojis
Starting point is 00:59:58 one of them's this people don't this is an audio thing Dave people don't know what you're doing describe what I'm doing to the folks at home he's pointing his middle finger at me again across the table I don't This is an audio thing Dave People don't know what you're doing Describe what I'm doing To the folks at home He's pointing his middle finger At me again across the table
Starting point is 01:00:08 I don't like it That's for you I don't deserve it Well You should do a candle Dylan's exploding nipples Or no this candle Smells like Dylan's nipples
Starting point is 01:00:18 Yeah What do your nipples smell like? I can hit up I can hit up VelaBox And see if they can do some I haven't really smelled them Probably just like skin Cool I would love to make a Senate candle Yeah. What do your nipples smell like? I can hit up VelaBox and see if they can do some... I haven't really smelled them. Probably just like skin.
Starting point is 01:00:27 Cool. I would love to make a scented candle that's just based around skin. Not creepy at all. Dinosaur nipples. Dinosaur balls. This candle smells like dinosaur b-holes. Dinosaur butthole on a candle is kind of funny. It's not.
Starting point is 01:00:43 If it smells good and people are like, what is it's like dinosaur butthole is like the name of a weed strain you know let's go get some of that dinosaur butthole man that shit was good oh dude that shit is that indica or sativa oh um so we got a new we've got a new optimized backer i reached out to him and i convinced him and i there was one request he had for me and it was for me to tell you that the shacket thing just stinks, baby. Uh,
Starting point is 01:01:07 I think we should lose him as a, as a patron. No, well, we've got him for at least a month. We canceled us up. We got the month. Well,
Starting point is 01:01:14 um, everyone in the world disagrees with you. So there's that. Didn't you say this weekend that you just wanted to clap it in the shacket? What'd you mean by that? What are you doing this weekend that you just wanted to clap it in the shacket? What do you mean by that? What are you doing this weekend? That would be fun, but no. You're addicted to shack.
Starting point is 01:01:32 This weekend. Thank you for asking, Will. Return of the shack. Given that we're still in a pandemic and numbers are surging. A worldwide one. Yeah, it is worldwide. A lot of people don't know that. It's also nationwide.
Starting point is 01:01:42 People don't know that. What about the people in London who claim that they didn't know about it? Those guys, man. I love that. I love that defense. I kind of wish we would have talked about that story. Dude, that's one. The first thing they teach you in law school is that ignorance is a defense to any kind of crime.
Starting point is 01:01:59 Yeah. These people in London threw a giant-ass party, and then their defense to the police was like, wait, there's a pandemic going on? What? We didn't know. We didn't know about that. I love playing stupid for the pandemic.
Starting point is 01:02:08 Prove that I knew about it. Prove it. What? I have nothing on the books. Absolutely nothing on the books, which is, it's going to be fun. I enjoy those weekends,
Starting point is 01:02:19 but I would like to do something eventually. You know? I would like to do something eventually. Step out, get a beer, maybe a pizza, maybe a dinner. Hit the club, hit the discotheque, something. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:02:30 Beers? I want to mob. Like numerous beers? It'll have to wait until February. Lunch beers. Yeah. Or those. Whatever.
Starting point is 01:02:42 Just, you know. I have nothing. We need to have a Thursday where we just go down to... I guess they're probably not even doing it. The place down the street, Hat Creek, they do like a Thursday beer thing. Frat Creek? Yeah, Frat Creek. We need to just go down there and just have like a Thursday get away from us.
Starting point is 01:02:56 I think it's like $2 beers on Thursday. Turkey Burgs for the boys. A little sauerkraut on it. Turkey Burgs and beers, man. Next thing you know, you're two beers deep. You're like calling an Uber. Your wife's got to drive you back the next day to get your car. You just tank the rest of the day.
Starting point is 01:03:09 Yeah. Love that. Nothing better than having the significant other drop you off at the course to get your car from the table. That's a late 20s guy move. Hopefully you guys have a more excited weekend than me because I'm doing nothing. Oh, yeah, I do. Well, you're invited.
Starting point is 01:03:27 Connor Dustin Poirier, Saturday night. Let's go. Let's go. Pour that ass out. Are you buying it? I'll see about it. I'll see you there. Company's buying it.
Starting point is 01:03:38 I'll see you there. Company's buying it because I'm going to talk about it on Too Much Dip, so I'm expensing it. Hope you're cool with that. I didn't see that. Will's going to be there, too. I didn't pass through my desk. Will's going to talk about it on Too Much Dip, so I'm expensing it. Hope you're cool with that. I didn't see that. Well, Will's going to be there, too. I didn't pass through my desk. Will's going to be there and Micah.
Starting point is 01:03:49 I'm not on Too Much Dip, though. No, we're going to have you on for this one. Perfect. But that's about it. I might try to play golf Friday. I need to see Friday. Like, the weather the next five days, it doesn't look great, but Friday looks okay.
Starting point is 01:04:01 Let me know. Let me know. I've only got so many rounds before the kid. I know. And to be honest, I'm trying to get in those rounds with you just because I know that you're very limited right now. Yeah. I have a finite number of rounds left because of my back. You've got the Trump strategy, so I'm not going to waste it playing with you.
Starting point is 01:04:17 You should have done what I did. I have so many rounds left in me because I have so much battery left. Huh. You've been charging it? Mm-hmm. We didn't even talk about the cat having a pinched nerve in his back
Starting point is 01:04:31 missing the next couple tournaments. I don't want to talk about this stuff, man. I know. Positive vibes only, my bad. Yeah, positive vibes only. Positive vibes, man. That's pretty much it, Will.
Starting point is 01:04:42 Well, I got bad news for you guys. I got really nothing. As you guys know, Sally and I recently signed a new lease that we're moving into in March. Our current apartment is an absolute war zone with just shit in it. Not actual shit, but just a lot of stuff. So we're going to start the process of trying to get rid of some of that stuff, maybe mapping out some new furniture that we have to buy for this place.
Starting point is 01:05:03 It's just going to be a real beating. If there's one thing I hate, it's moving. Hey, can you guys help me move? Dude, I'm busy that day, man. Crap, man. I'm a kid. I didn't give you a day yet, but cool. No, dude.
Starting point is 01:05:14 Yeah, my phone's not working either. Cool. Yeah, I have actually a week to move in between when my lease starts and when my other lease ends. Oh, that's a little stress. Good for you. Yeah, but I could use an extra hand. I'm going to help hang your TV. TVs.
Starting point is 01:05:28 You're helping me hang three different TVs, just FYI. I did that for Veronica one time. Really? Yeah. Veronica didn't know how to hang a TV? Mm-mm. Who would have thought? I thought you hung one for Will last weekend.
Starting point is 01:05:41 No. Oh. No, my new TV ain't come in yet. David. I don't even know. What were you tweeting? You texted about it. No, I just texted about it because I asked Dylan
Starting point is 01:05:50 because I just don't even want to like think about it. If Dylan already, Dylan's literally the cockiest person of all time when it comes to hanging TVs and so I'm just going
Starting point is 01:05:57 to give him that. Like you kind of need a dub and so I'm going to give you the TV. I'm going to let you hang the TVs in my new place. I can't wait.
Starting point is 01:06:05 It's going to be a fun little project. God. Maybe crack some beers? With the boys? I had a new beer last night that I never had before. What is it? It was a Murphy's Irish Stout, which I will say it pretty much tastes like a Guinness, but maybe a little more like cream.
Starting point is 01:06:21 Ah, Murphy's. Murphy's. Yeah, that's a really good accent. Everyone thinks you're Irish. I think our water's here. Irish, you wouldn't do that. Nope, Murphy's. Murphy's. Yeah, that's a really good accent. Everyone thinks you're Irish. I think our water's here. Irish, you wouldn't do that. Nope, something else. What is that?
Starting point is 01:06:28 Definitely not the water because they left the water outside last week and we had to carry it all. Oh, we got a desk? Ooh, we got a desk. I didn't know we bought a desk. Man, I want to call
Starting point is 01:06:36 Brett in here right now to do breath-breaking news, but he's kind of dealing with the delivery person. When did we buy a desk? Like two days ago. Your boy copped a new desk. We talked about this, Dylan.
Starting point is 01:06:52 It's not a nice one. Hey Brett! It's time! God, we got the bullet in here. The mail-in's own bullet. Oh, there he is. Wow. We got Brett in the building. We got some breaking news.
Starting point is 01:07:09 Hey, guys. How's it going, Brett? It's good. How are you? Digging your color vibe today. Thank you. It's very Will DeFreeze with the green. Yeah, really.
Starting point is 01:07:14 Really nice green. Yeah, you look okay. Forest green sweater. You should have sprayed it down with water and evened it out a little bit. Yeah. Not iron. I ran out of my, I have the Downey Spritz and whatever. You know water works just the same.
Starting point is 01:07:28 No. I don't want to get water on my stuff. Tricks of the trade. Anyway. Wow, dude. What's your dumb ass news about? I don't even want to tell you. Hey, Will.
Starting point is 01:07:38 Yeah. Do you want to go NFL QBs, Austin Architecture? Yeah, yeah. Or steak? I'm going to go steak. Steak. I'm going to go steak. Steak. I'm going to go steak. You ever heard of the perfect steak?
Starting point is 01:07:54 Dad, Dylan's always talking about it. I made one the other night. Oh, nice. Well, anyway, researchers from McMaster University said they created the perfect steak. And it's lab grown. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, so you can, to the percentage, be like, I want like 3% fat or 20% fat. What? And it's lab-grown. Dude, no, that takes the fun out of the steak.
Starting point is 01:08:31 Oh, yeah. Yeah, every steak has its own adventure. Yeah. I don't know if I want this. Their technique has now worked with rabbit cells, mice cells, and they are now moving on to beef, chicken, and pork. Good. The first thing the world needed is more mice running around. It's not clones.
Starting point is 01:08:48 It's clowns. It's just meat. Clowns. It's just meat. Cool. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to go back to what I said.
Starting point is 01:08:55 The last thing the world needs is just a bunch of mice meat. You know, just because we can't do stuff doesn't mean we should, you know? They say it's for the environment. Can you do like a tube steak? David. It's not tube steak. And a test tube? Yeah, when you said you could tune the steak, did you mean to say tube?
Starting point is 01:09:14 You can just tune it. My tube. My tubes. I want a medium rare like 2080s situation. And they'll be like, yeah, I'll marble that for you in the back. How long does that take? Probably hours. Come back the next day. You have to put in your steak order? I would actually love that. If you could put your orders in before at a restaurant and then go sit down at the restaurant and have them spread it out
Starting point is 01:09:36 over two hours, that would be really convenient. Like in Chicago, we've got deep dish pizza. They're like, yeah, it's going to take four hours to make your dumbass pizza. How do you want it? Your pizza is not even that good, you mean? Yeah, what's taking so long, Lou? That pizza stunk, I'll say it. That was the worst night's sleep of my life. I've never had worse heartburn. That was the worst.
Starting point is 01:09:53 Not the worst pizza. It wasn't good. Lou Malnati's right now? Oh, boy. Lou Malnati's is not good. It's just not good. I'm sorry. It was fine.
Starting point is 01:10:00 I'm going to duck after this episode. It wasn't fine. I think a lot of true think true Chicagoans Will be like Oh yeah You gotta go here It's a 4 out of 10 Lou Malnati's is good If you like
Starting point is 01:10:08 Pizza that Is shaped like lasagna And lacks flavor I call it Well pizza Wow dude More like Lou Malnati Or naughty
Starting point is 01:10:20 Jeez Move in silence David It will Doesn't mal M-A-L, mean bad in Spanish? Yes. Bad is naughty. I have to correct Will on poor Mako, the sushi place.
Starting point is 01:10:35 Oh, here we go. R.I.P. Mako. It's still open. But it's literally being bulldozed for a skyscraper. That is very true. You've been saying this for over a year now. I know. What is that happening? I don't know. They're doing it, though. Excuse me while I scrape
Starting point is 01:10:50 the sky. With that out of the way, Austin now has plans for the tallest skyscraper in Texas. What's the current tallest skyscraper in Texas? Is it in Dallas? It's in Texas. What's the current tallest skyscraper in Texas? Is it in Dallas or Houston? It's in Texas, John Marcus.
Starting point is 01:11:07 Yeah? It's actually oil mons in Lubbock. The J.P. Morgan Chase Tower in Houston is 1,002 feet tall, the current tallest building. How tall is this one going to be? 1,024. How do you not go 1,003? Man.
Starting point is 01:11:21 Come on. My boy got married at the Petroleum Club up there. It looks dope. It's at the corner of Cesar Chavez and Red River, kind of by the Kempton, the Van Zandt. That's the thing about skyscrapers, Dylan. They scrape the sky. I get it, David. Excuse me while I scrape the sky.
Starting point is 01:11:42 Dave already did that one. It's a good song, though. Excuse me while I kiss this guy. Dave already did that one. It's a good song, though. Excuse me while I kiss this guy. That always sounded like that. This song's going to be stuck in my head the rest of the day because of David Carter Ruff. Add DC Ruff on Instagram, add D. Carter Ruff on Twitter, and Snap. Add me on the group. No one's following your dumb ass, dude.
Starting point is 01:11:58 A lot of people, actually. Not as many as you. I'll give you that. But then again, you were like day one internet guy. He's also actively bleeding followers. Facts. Facts. Oh, man.
Starting point is 01:12:10 Hey, Dave. Hey. You know Phillip Rivers? Retiring. Hung him up. Hung him up. Got him. 17 years.
Starting point is 01:12:18 I just scooped you. 16 with the Chargers, one with the Colts. I mean, it was time. Never won the big one. Nope. Never really got close. Why would you not just retire in Southern California instead of just moving to Indianapolis first?
Starting point is 01:12:34 Made the playoffs, had a playoff team, give it one last run. You see JJ Watts' tweet? I doubt he moved his whole family there for the season. I mean, like, bought and set up shop there. They probably had a nice condo. Yeah, he's got like 50 kids. Right. I'm just saying.
Starting point is 01:12:50 I bet his home base is still in California. Okay. Rumor on the street is that he's moving to Alabama to coach football. Okay. High school football. For Saban? No. Just high school.
Starting point is 01:13:02 He's just going to be one of Saban's analysts. High profile annies. Yeah. Good for him. Congrats to Phil Rivers. Did you see J.J of Saban's analysts, high-profile annies. Yeah. Good for him. Congrats to Phil Rivers. Did you see J.J. Watts' tweet about it? It's a fun retirement job. I did.
Starting point is 01:13:10 I was pretty good. It was pretty good. I thought that was a nice one. J.J. Watts, mostly good on Twitter. He said, I'll never forget lining up for a play and Phil pointing out one of our linebackers and telling him that he was lined up wrong based off the blitz we were about to run and being 100% correct about it. That is such a flex, being like, nope, out of position.
Starting point is 01:13:30 That's awesome. What are you doing? It's great. That's such a flex on the defense. How rattled was that linebacker? He got off the field and was like, fuck. He knows your defense better than you do. It's probably McKinney.
Starting point is 01:13:42 That dude was never any good. Damn. It was Cushing. Mississippi State kid. It's probably McKinney. That dude was never any good. Damn. It was Cushing. Mississippi State kid. It had to have been Cushing. I feel like he just did what he wanted, though. Cushing?
Starting point is 01:13:53 He knew he wasn't lined up right. He's just like, yeah, fuck. Yeah, I don't think Cushing is a fuck. He's just bleeding from the head. Or like the nose. The nose. Which is the head.
Starting point is 01:14:02 Kinda. Yes, technically. How are your ears, Dylan? Dude, get that checked out. I think it's on the mend. It's doing a little bit better. It's still leaking like crazy. It doesn't sound like it's getting better.
Starting point is 01:14:18 Yeah. Are you worried it's your brain actually leaking out? Yeah, a lot of people were worried about that. It's old. This has been a known story for a minute. People are suddenly sending it to me. Yeah, I were worried about that. The article is old. This has been a known story for a minute. People are suddenly sending it to me. Yeah, I've heard about it. Will you just go to the doctor?
Starting point is 01:14:30 Doctor, doctor. Let Sally take a look, dude. She has that iPhone attachment. It's crazy. All right, y'all. She was scraping wax out of my ears just like two weeks ago. I would love for her to take a look inside my head, my ear. Okay.
Starting point is 01:14:43 In your hair. In your hair. In your hair. Zombie. Everything's coming back to the cranberries. Leakage. Did we try my zombie blood? No. How does it taste?
Starting point is 01:14:55 I don't want that shit. It tastes like zombies' blood. I'm a beat elite guy. Do zombies have blood? Beat elite. Great point. They did. Total war. They're freaking out right now. They're scrambling.
Starting point is 01:15:12 What happened? Small to mid-sized podcast figured out that zombies don't have blood. Their battery ran out and then they got recharged. I know at least a couple of people have bought it because of me. It's a finite amount of energy. Zombie blood.
Starting point is 01:15:30 Is it time? Yeah. This thing is running its course. Way to go, Brett. I don't know what to say. That just went off the rails. All right. We'll see you guys on Friday.
Starting point is 01:15:39 Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
Starting point is 01:15:39 Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. you

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